#im just stuck here

[quasieli]

Depression fucking sucks. I just want to feel okay. I feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm not living. I barely feel like I exist. I'm just stuck.

#ask to tag #i hate my life rn #and i feel like i cant do anything to change it #im just stuck here #i want my old life back #but i cant have it #and im so tired #i just want to give up #i know i cant #i dont want to hurt other people #but where does that leave me #i feel like im only holding on for the sake of others #my life isnt my own

[queeranddepraved]

After moving as much stuff as possible from the side of my room my bed is on (literally every inch of my walls are blocked by furniture in this tiny ass room) and vacuuming everything and spraying real bug spray and spraying massive amounts of the mint spider repellent and washing all my sheets and vacuuming all my stuffies and then leaving it all to air out while I took all my blankets to my parents to wash overnight and coming back tonight...

I am currently sitting in my bed for the first time since Wednesday night. 4 whole nights that I avoided my bed and my room....

All because a spider randomly appeared on my arm while I was sitting in bed.... after weeks of seeing anywhere between 2 and 12 spiders on my ceiling a day and being in a constant state of panic because of it and waking up to them coming down from the ceiling above me and lots of other awful things...

I do not want to be anywhere near this bed..... Both my brain and my body are freaking the fuck out cause they know the last time I was sitting here a spider randomly appeared on my arm from who knows where. I don't even wanna be in this room.

I hate this so much 😭😭😭

#pretty sure this room is just straight up infested #and theres like no escape #im just stuck here #in a room #full of my biggest fear #no biggie #except like its a huge deal and its not okay and people should start acknowledging how fucked up this is

[did-i-do-this-write]

Something about this chapter isn't working :/ I just can't quite put my finger on it.....

#this isn't really a meme or anything im just stuck #anyone have ideas? #or is willing to listen to me ramble until i figure it out myself? #the classic rubber duck theory #im just stuck here #writing #writeblr #writing help #writing advice #writing community #writers on tumblr #zac speaks

[lesbianralzarek]

"life doesnt get better, you just get stronger" does NOT include ages 11-17. life does in fact just get better from there. those years are dogshit. like, you do get stronger but its mostly just a factor of not being 11-17 anymore. positive thinking helps but it doesnt fix whatevers going on at 15, you have to brute force through that one raw

#i originally posted this as just a 'hey remember how fuckin bad middle/highschool was? shit was wild' type post but now #there are a bunch of teens in the notes being like 'oh my god are you serious? it gets better? im not stuck in hell forever??' #and im reminded that the only people who told teenage ella 'it gets better' were speakers at mental health assemblies #aka the least relatable people alive who were seemingly born to lie to you #so. uh. yeah im a certified adult who isnt here to lie or sugarcoat the realities of being a teenager #the only thing more certain than the pain is the transcience

[olivcrquick]

okay slay i cant stop crying

#im just so lonely #and i keep getting so angry #and saying the wrong things #or doing the wrong things #and half the time i dont think before i speak #i jsut want to feel like anyone in this stupid fucking town loves me #but no one fucking does #i wanna go home but i fucking cant #im just stuck here #ol.txt

[lesbaurinkos]

NOT the words, danny. try again!

#it’s 3 am and my phone is still stuck in its boot cycle so im coping by having a little fun out here in this world. what can i say! #the presentation i have to do tomorrow is none of my concern. my pieces due tomorrow are none of my concern currently. #my only concern? party. rocking. in this world. #anyway. how do we get dan to listen to chappell. dan can you hear me im talking directly into your ear now #anyhow. smile. just one final left guys. my coping is right before ur eyes! #dnp #phan

[tianhai03]

didnt have the time to do a full finished drawing, but i tried to keep up with my tradition for redrawing the same good bro day drawing ive done for 3 years already :')

(last year's, which also has links to prev years as well)

#feels like i havent drawn the boys in. forever. i missed them #kinda unrelated and i said this on twitter too but i think most of you guys here should hear it... #i know a lot of you have followed me since my early dmc days and i just wanted to take the chance to thank you #its crazy to me that ppl have known me for so long and the support means a lot to me #i know i havent posted a lot this year bc ive just been busy with work but im grateful you guys still stuck around. thank you :) #anyways back to actual tags #devil may cry #vergil(dmc) #dante(dmc) #allyart

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[anakirui]

hot take ??

the only reason people say that "mafuyu and tsukasa have nothing in common" when presented with mafukasa parallels is because they equate mafuyu and tsukasa being similar to "tsukasa has depression" because the fandom equates mafuyu's personality to being depressed and nothing else.

it doesn't help that people (primarily younger people in the fandom) who DO believe in mafukasa parallels end up making the mistake of portraying tsukasa as depressed because as of right now he is not (although it's possible he was in past because of his Very Unclear Middle School Backstory but that's irrelevant)

anyways, mafuyu and tsukasa are narrative foils because their core personalities are built off of the concept of wanting to make the people around them— especially their families— happy.

they both developed personalities at a young age based on someone they looked up to. for tsukasa, it was seiichi amami's performance that inspired him to be a star— a hero that could cheer anyone up. for mafuyu, it was her mother taking care of her that inspired her to be a nurse— and you can see the similarities from there.

for mafuyu, her identity would first come into conflict when her mother expressed her want for mafuyu to be a doctor— suddenly, "everyone's" happiness didn't match what she wanted to do, leaving her in a state of disorder and eventual depression.

for tsukasa, his identity was something he nearly forgot in its entirety at the start of the main story— becoming arrogant and fully absorbed in a hero persona, forgetting the kind person he truly is. furthermore, his current character arc seems to be foreshadowing that what "being a star" to him is going to be called into question— maybe it is something more than just being the main character that saves everyone.

their insecurities are incredibly similar.

in mafuyu's first mixed, mafuyu feels insecure towards ichika because unlike ichika, she feels as if her lyrics have no genuine meaning to be expressed to other people— despite them being her very real feelings. this is brought up again in her second mixed as well.

in tsukasa's third focus event, something similar happens. when watching seiichi's performance, he thinks that his acting is "real" and feels inferior towards him, which is ironic because tsukasa has been method acting this whole time. when tsukasa is acting out rio or bartlett or really anyone at this point in the story, it's not just those characters— it's a reflection of his traumas.

just like mafuyu, tsukasa undermines his passions he's poured his feelings into because someone else's work is more genuine in his eyes.

now, then, foils have many similarities and parallels (and i could honestly list a lot more), but how i define them is that they usually have some kind of major branching difference that MAKES them foils.

for mafuyu and tsukasa it's pretty straightforward.

mafuyu's people pleasing behavior comes from external expectations and pressures— her mother's demands.

tsukasa's people pleasing behavior comes internally, from himself— if he can't meet his own standards, if he can't be the perfect big brother or the perfect star, then he is nothing.

and even then, there's some overlap.

tsukasa's behavior was indirectly encouraged by his mother praising him for being a "good big brother" over the phone instead of asking him if he was okay while home alone.

mafuyu's terrified to be herself around other people because she doesn't want to worry or bother them— she doesn't want to be a burden— and projects her mother's expectations onto them, not realizing that they would prefer the real mafuyu if they knew the truth.

and the concept of mafukasa being foils is most perfectly and blatantly portrayed in these two cards.

mafuyu, the marionette, sitting limp on the floor— puppeteered by her mother's demands and donning a mask to hide her true self.

tsukasa, the jester, standing above everything else— puppeteering silenced plushies— his feelings. he's not being completely honest with himself, and he doesn't even realize it.

mafuyu has cut her strings and ripped her mask in half. she has acknowledged her true feelings and expressed them to her mother, even if she had to run away in the end.

tsukasa has not yet cut his.

#project sekai #colorful stage #prsk #tsukasa tenma #mafuyu asahina #mafukasa #theres also obvious ones im sure you all know. like how theyre the sole sekai creators #or their designs paralleling eachother (color schemes of their eyes and hair) #or how theyre both connected to the moon and bunnies #and how theyre connected by a piano with a moon design thats only shown up in mafuyus 2nd mixed and tsukasas 2nd mixed... where they had #their first mixed events together #or how they both easily overwork theirselves #or how theyre almost always projecting onto other people as if their experiences are the norm #ex: tsukasa with rui in wonder halloween and mafuyu with niigo in main story #I CAN GO ON ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS AS YOU CAN SEE . #EDIT: HERES SOME MORE THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER AT 12 AM LAST NIGHT #theyre both connected to apples! points at tsukasa in fixer 2dmv and points at mafuyu2 #literally all of their vocaloids parallel eachother. #wxs and n25 miku have a childlike sense of curiosity #wxs and n25 rin are based off someone that isnt them for the most part (saki and ena) #wxs and n25 len are both anxious and pessimistic (in island panic... wxs len has a conflicting pov from meiko and wants wxs to just stay in #the sekai instead of being stuck out on an island... which is kinda escapist as hell) #wxs and n25 meiluka have conflicts that are very similar. n25 meiluka represents mafuyus inner conflict between isolating herself and #helping everyone because she didnt know what would be better #and wxs meiluka is the conflict between tsukasas ambition and his fatigue #which is why wxs meiko always acts like wxs luka is a burden whenever she falls asleep— tsukasa himself wont rest #not when he thinks it will burden other people #and wxs and n25 kaito are both driving forces in tsukasa and mafuyu accepting their true feelings #(although tsukasa is kinda not where mafuyu is yet i think you get what i mean)

[mp100days]

099 - ONE DAY LEFT !!!

#so close to finishing 100 days :)) #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #mob #shigeo kageyama #mod 1 #did a little bit of animating... not toooo happy with it i've gotten really rusty over the past. 99 days #anyways :) if ur wondering why the flowers are moving so weird i snapped halfway thru frame-by-frame and just tweened it #hi guys :] mod 2 here #its been a while since i put some tags #i dont have a lot to say . i just love this art and love mod 1 and #im very thankful for all the people who stuck with us throughout these 100 days ...... #yall are the real ones fr

[chipper-smol]

@pupppppppy is to blame for this scene finally getting out of my head

Context: this is the split second when possessed Wukong punches Nezha into the ground and then turns to MK. These two are not on good terms in this au, so Wukong begging for Macaque to save MK is a pretty big deal

scene after courtesy of puppy

#myart #fanart #lmk #lego monkie kid #lego monkey kid #re-boundau #six eared macaque #sun wukong #ok a brief synopsis for the au: Macaque is trapped in wukong's shadow after he died #and now they're stuck as shitty roommates #i def recommend diving in the re-boundau tag cause i got good stuff #i just havent touched this au in a while bc I need #to know #exactly how macaque died #and that info is so so so close in either the s4 special or s5 #so im juST WAITING HERE

[lollytea]

I was looking at reddit comments about Carol & The End Of the World and I got so frustrated with people completely misinterpretating what the show was about and hating on Carol because they found her unrelatable. Or "her monotone voice is annoying". The show itself wasn't perfect and I was a little unsatisfied with the ending but I loved it so much for the premise and the choice to focus on a character like Carol. It's a really unique angle.

The world will end in six months and everyone on earth has gone carpe diem mode and are living out their wildest dreams. They're partying, they're rioting, they're traveling the world, they're eloping, they're having orgies, they're picking up new daring hobbies, they're doing all these crazy hedonistic things that life has never given them the opportunity to do until now.

And Carol, poor Carol. Carol's parents are worried about her because she has not felt inclined to do anything like that. It's just not how she wants to live. Carol is quiet, she's awkward, she gets overwhelmed at parties. So intense doomsday chaos is not her scene at all. She finds peace in normalcy and routine. Simple things like a boring desk job and grocery shopping and doing laundry and eating at her favourite restaurant are what make Carol happy.

But when society has collapsed, all sense of structure has gone with it. So she has to hunt to find meaning in a way that suits her own personality.

And is she not entitled to finding joy during the end times on her own terms?

Carol has also felt unfulfilled in her life. But not because she's disliked the rigid routine she has built for herself, but because her socially awkward demeanour has prevented her from really connecting with other people. She's lonely. She's 42 years old and she doesn't really have anyone that she feels she can open up to.

The show is about Carol's tiny victories and her own spin on seizing the day on a much smaller scale than the rest of the world. She doesn't need to travel. She doesn't need to find the love of her life. She doesn't need to jump out of a plane. Maybe all she needs in order to feel whole is a few close friends that she can bake banana bread for. All she wants is the calmness of routine and the warmth and reliability of friends. She doesn't want to feel alone anymore. Carol's desires are simple and mundane, and she might be judged for not choosing to live a little louder when the clock is ticking down. But it's what will make her happy. Is that not beautiful? I think it's very beautiful.

#GAH #im not saying anything of value here im just thinking out loud #the concept of this show has stuck with me #i really wanted it to expand more on stuff. but the message itself. the character of Carol. it hits me very hard #she doesnt want much...but once the world ends she'll feel content...GAHH

[unexpectedbrickattack]

shenanigans

#pizza tower #peppino #pepperman #the noise #gustavo #spicy hot #suggestive #ONLY A LITTLE #heehee i am FREE from my commission shackles. this is a threat AND warning #gonna post some of the ACTUALLY not sfw stuff soon i think; dont wanna make a twitter for it #they wont be in the main tags but ill put them behind some jokey joke meme pic and then a readmore #bc like even if u put a readmore to cover the images. when its recommended to others from a DIFFERENT post #the first image u used still pops up any way #and i dont want to put peptitties out for everyone to see LMAO #anyway #ive had this idea for ages; peppino getting stuck w pepperman on the their way to a gala #and pepperman is like do not worry my friend; i will simply call in a helicopter to come pick us up :) #and peppino is like WHAT?? dont do that !!!! its just a flat; i can fix that! #but i just now thought of adding the others lol i wanted an excuse to draw them w some fancy hair :)! #noise is like. um. theres no way I can sit here for 20 minutes and NOT embarrass myself. im going to find a rock to sit on #and not look at him #self imposed timeout and naughty shame corner #gustavos comment is from a tag i saw on a post that made me scream laugh #and pepperman watches intently bc that is his muse and he likes committing peppinos form to memory heehee

[luck-of-the-drawings]

my TWO FAVORITE THINGS IN THE WORLD, VAMPIRES N COWBOYS... deacon keller is SUCH a fun character, hes charming and funny but ALSO formidable and STRONG when he feels he needsta be. i hope him and arthur can get a chance to talk more and be better friends. l ike really good friend s. . like. like really good f. hangon i gotta go i think i hauve rabies.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi suckening #jrwi suckening spoilers #deacon keller #arthur bennett #OOUGUGHHAAOGUguguhh i feel so cringe whenever i ship two characters. like theyre not even REAL #why cant i be more 'hyperfixated' on getting bitched or something. CHRIST. anwyay i want em to hold hands or smth. yknow. freak stuff. #SO DEACON KELLER!! HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR TALKIN ABT THIS PLACE GETTING ATTACKED.. WE SAW HIM APPROACHING #AND THEN THE WHOLE FEAST PORTION OF THE PARTY HAPPENED N HE GOT STUCK #BUT HE KNEEEWW HE OVERHEARD ARTHUR SOMEHOW!! i just think thats neat. hes dedicated to protecting his people. hes respectable!! #GOD he doesnt even have that much screen time but i LOVE HIMMM n his silly lil shadow steed named Sunshine.. like cmon.... ugh..... #hes sweet n hes funny and he CAARES about the things hes in charge of on some levels. he certainly does his best to look after his own. #god idk what else to write here other than how much hes been on my MMMIND lately. the doctors are still running diagnostiscs #i just think hes so neat... also i think its funny that hes afraid o snakes. OH YKNOW lemme just talk abt my damn art. first o all this too #SSSOOO LONG. WEEKS EVEN.IVE BEEN WORKIN ON IT SINCE EP 5 WAS ON PATREON.it was sposed to be justa buncha doodles but then it Evolved #idk man...cowboys are just so cool...especially w VAMP POWERS..fastest shot in the west for a REASON BABY...n with the red smoke #n the glowing eyes..CMOn thats so cool i hadta get my visions into reality. the eyes were inspired by the music video for RATTLESNAKE (kglw #that where the IM THE SERPENT lines come from.lyrics from tha song.ooh yeah i love kglw so much...i also have other hidden messages here #i like to hide things...ALSO ALSO. I HAD SO MUCH TROUBLE W SO MUCH O THIS. the two bits with arthur n deacon biting eachother. AGONY #POSES ARE SO HHARRDDD SAME WITH THAT doodle o arthur slammin deacons head into the ground. WEEKS to get that pose RIGHT. I BLED SO MUCH #OHH AND GUNS???COWBOYHATS?? HIS GAY LIL JACKET? W THE DANGLIES?? AGOONYYY IT TOOK SO LONG TO PERFECT IT..especialy guns. OUUUHH #i also dont draw mustaches enough... which sucks bc im weak for a good mustache... BUT i think im doing pretty well on that. #it was hard but yknow what!! i think i did good! i rly like how this all turned out!! EXCEPT FOR THA FUCKIN RIBBON BOW THING I FORGOT TODRA #IN THE TOP RIGHT... THAT I JSUT NOTICED...its fine its fine i dont care that much. this is good enough to FEAST upon so im content n happy. #anyway i gotta leave ina few hours to start TRAINING for my NEW JOB!! CHEER FOR ME!! TRUCK IS A BLACKJACK DEALER NOW!! IEAAAHHH BABYYYY!!!! #thanku for reading my weird lil scrolls i bury beneath my posts. if u leave tags i WILL absorb them. and feel joy.

[treasureplcnet]

also quite obsessed with karl being as detached from the story as he is. there's nothing that makes him have to be the detective that has to be involved, but he unknowingly dooms himself by agreeing to work with the KYAL cult. every other detective basically deals with elias head on except weissman, who only meets him right before he kills him. like he's right when he says "by my choices" because everything that leads him to being mixed up with the mannix cult is himself. it's the gambling debts and the choice to do the dirty work for an organisation he knows nothing about. he's the only one that doesn't encounter that body doing police work and it's specifically because he's told to cover it up. he gets himself into the mess and eventually fixes it but the fact that esther always dies in the doomed timelines and he's always too late even if he starts wanting to change things ("till this child. esther.") it just makes me very ill

#sorry jane who heard this on her dms but now im posting it to tumblr cause im having a category 5 woman moment. AND ALTERNATIVELY: #i am also EXTREMELY obsessed with how its a time loop and the idea (so sorry tumblr user whose post i have lost and was inspired by) #weissman was just so fucking hard to deal with that they made sure that he was in their pockets. i just like the idea of the loop-- #--having like. fixed points that elias would need to ensure the dystopia (body is covered up/the investigation closes/etc) but #how they get there is a slightly slower process and the earliest loops were the messiest/most unpredictable #and what we see in the show itself is like. the most streamlined version over hundreds of loops and attempts #so karl specifically. lonely that he is and determined to survive. AND with a cruel streak against people he doesn't like #kept nearly blowing their operation so they began to incorporate him in it instead #there's also another tragedy in there if /esther/ is what they realise works best against him.. #just love and kindness for a girl that weissman comes to see as family and they immediately exploit it after learning during an early loop #im ignoring specific plot points here (polly seemingly panicking when esther shows up at the station) but I DO NOT CARE. #THERE'S ANGST HAPPENING RN. IM CREATING SCENARIOS TO HURT ME #now if i could write coherently this would be written as a fic but im stuck writing too long textposts #karl weissman #bodies 2023 #bodies netflix #sorry to the other detectives. weissman in particular is my babygirl who i devote most of my brainpower to #personal

[jazzzzzzhands]

Ohh i could not stop thinking about the one commercial with the Wally plush!! Where he says "Groovy", "Far out", and such!! And if you look up "70's background" There is just soooo much aesthetic suiting of Wally!! So i really really wanted to dress him up in some Groovy clothes!! The fish shoes were his original shoes, but i made them an alt cause they are hard to draw! pfffft! Wally can Dance! He can teach You how to Dance!

Alternate blue glasses, i could not decide on the color of his John Lennon's, so he can have many pairs! Oh and he definitely has a wide wardrobe!!

#wally darling #welcome home #whps #welcome home wally #jazzart #groovy wally #I thought about making this into an AU where Wally teaches you how to dance! #it would be for dress-up.aesthertic.and music!! #i do have a playlist for groovy wally #home would be a hippie van ahahaha #home would be mobile!! #i would love to make an au BUT i dont want to get stuck being known for an AU? #cause then thats all ppl would expect me to draw for?? #i would love to draw for the Groovy AU and make stimboards!! #im just nervous about it #i dont have the best attention span!! #but maybe i will draw more for this! if there is interest for it?? #howdy runs a salt and pepper diner for SURE #julie now has skates and is more dangerous than EVER #now that you are down here in these tags #i will admit i love how shapely i drew him #wally can have curves #as a treat #i thought about changing his hair style #he could he could #but the iconic wally swirl makes wally!!! #i will still consider this #but it all depends on if ppl are interested!! #cause i rly do have the worst focus ever ahahaha #but anyways!!