#im having another cry today lads | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wjehfshs · 1 year

Text

I forgot to take my meds so I’m gonna do some silly short imagines/scenarios with COD and DBH characters x reader

Warnings??: swearing. Cringe and uncreative :3, but I’m having fun so… reader being chaotic and silly

Mentions of smoking/cigars at one point and blood at one point but not too bad

A really fucked up looking cake made by reader and Connor

Somewhat Connor x reader

Price being basically the dad of everyone

Hank and Connor being the best father son duo

Hank kinda being a father figure overall

Hank also creating an abomination

OOC Connor??? Sorta??? Idk if headcanons about Deviant Connor count as OOC we don’t really see much of Deviant Connors personality.

COD imagines

Reader: who’s got their hands on their favourite food and they’re devouring it (may or may not be inspired by me at dinner earlier today)

Everyone else: looking on in fear and awe, their food basically untouched as reader is basically oblivious to the world

Soap: “Jesus fuckin Christ lad/lass, could ya slow down?! It’s givin’ me a stomach ache just looking at ya”

Reader: who stops dead in their tracks, food stuffed in their mouth as they are mid chew, fork with more food on it held up in midair as if they are about to take another bite. And they start slowly chewing again as they slowly descend back into their episode of shovelling food down their throat

Soap: “that’s fuckin it, bloody hell im eatin in my room” as he picks up his plate and walks off

Reader: walking back inside with a plastic tub that seems to be wet and heavy.

Price: “what have you done this time.”

Reader: “noooothing” they smile a little to themselves as they try to conceal their laughter

Price: “let me look in the tub. Now.”

Reader: backing off not wanting to make him angry.

Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Rudy, Alejandro, and Graves: All siting peacefully in the main area.

Price: in the background “Why the fuck did you bring a fucking baby Shark inside?!”

Ghost: covered in glitter, absolutely pissed beyond belief “would you like to tell me why there was a bucket of glitter sat on top of my door?!”

Reader: “well that’s actually a funny story you see…” starts booking it in the opposite direction

Ghost: chasing after them at full speed, still covered in glitter, leaving a glitter trail behind him.

Everyone: very confused as to why there is a glitter trail eventually leading to a locked door with a glitter covered Ghost banging on it with reader crying/laughing behind it out of both fear and it being the funniest shit they have seen all day

COD headcanons

I like to imagine Gaz really likes Beyoncé so if he’s ever put on cleaning duty he will wait until everyone’s asleep and he’ll listen to Beyoncé with his headphones on while cleaning, he’s definitely been caught a couple times by Price or Graves or something. He never lived it down but it still didn’t stop his love for Beyoncé.

Soap really loves olives, like, REALLY loves them so much so to the point where every time they get a supply of Olives they have to lock them away so Soap doesn’t take them too his room and eat them all in one sitting (side note: I hate olives, I really fucking hate olives)

Ghost likes hello kitty because it reminds him of the softer things in life (which he doesn’t really get to see much I can imagine) so back at home he has a bunch of hello kitty stuff such as plushies all placed neatly on his bed along with some other stuff like bed sheets, but he refuses to take any of it with him on missions even if he can keep it in his room in the Barracks because he’s just so scared that if the Barracks get attacked his plushies will either get dirty/bloody or straight up “injured” and he just loves them too much to let that happen, just quietly he thinks if that where to ever happen his entire world would fucking crumble in front of him (self inserting myself a bit bc I love my plushies this much too and I love hello kitty)

Price although he smokes cigars he knows how it can make Gaz worry (worried son moment frfr) so he’s trying to stop so he’s taken up chewing a shit load of gum. He will sneak in an occasional cigar if he gets too stressed out on a mission. He just needs that relief for a second but he swears he’ll stop next time (he doesn’t).

Soap likes to collect bath toys, ever since he got his nickname “Soap” he’s taken a liking to collecting bath toys (specifically rubber ducky’s) whenever he’s back at home.

Graves is a full blown homosexual but he’s too scared to admit it so he denies it every time.

DBH imagines

Hank: getting home after reader and Connor (deviant Connor, sorry I really only write deviant Connor bc he holds a special place in my heart and any kind of Connor hurts me) get a day off “Hey im homeeee…”

Reader: covered in flour and butter

Connor: the ends of his fingers are charred black a bit from the oven and he has icing bits in his hair

Reader and Connor collectively: “We made you a cake! :D”

The cake in question:

Hank: literal fucking tears in his eyes out of pure terror and stress. “…Thanks guys, I’m not. I’m not hungry right now but I’ll eat it later” as he slowly shuffles to his room with a shell shocked look on his face.

Connor and Reader: Looking at each other with the stupidest and biggest smile on their faces.

(This is inspired by a tik tok audio)

Connor: who’s deviant but is still used to being a machine so he analyses every single little thing. He walks up to reader. “You’re hair smells different today, did you use a different shampoo?”

Reader: slowly turning around with a scared smile on their face. “That’s actually really… creepy”

Connor: (in his head) “creepy? Am I. Creepy?” But on the outside he looks like he’s on the verge of tears

Reader: who sees his expression and immediately hugs him just to assure him they’re not mad just giving him a heads up that it’s kinda weird, they still love him tho (either platonically or romantically)

Hank: in the kitchen making something

Connor: “Hey Hank, what are you making?” As he makes the mistake, the traumatic life changing mistake of looking in the pot

Hank: who’s boiling fucking raw chicken with nothing but hot water. “Chicken.” He says bluntly as he cleans up and puts the chicken on the plate and eats it while it’s completely unseasoned and practically raw

Connor: from the sheer shock of the encounter he goes into overload and he’s getting warning systems all over telling him sometimes wrong

Reader: who has to sit Connor down as they try not to gag from Hanks creation he dares to call a “meal”

DBH headcanons

Neither Hank nor Connor can cook for shit so 90% of the time it’s either microwaveable food or take out for Hank.

Since Connor turned Deviant he developed social anxiety but when he’s around people such as Hank or reader he’s so silly, he gets so stupid and funny it’s so cute to see him like that (I want to squeeze him and put him in my pocket then have him surgically inserted into my heart permanently I love him so much)

Connors autistic

Hanks Bi

Connors Pansexual

Connor and Hank so father son activities such as play catch outside and walk Sumo (with reader ofc)

Hank had his house renovated to have an extra room put in for Connor (and if you also want to live there an extra room for you but if your romantically in a relationship with Connor you would probably just have a bed put in Connors room and Connor, although he doesn’t need sleep, he’ll go into sleeping mode with you on the bed as you two cuddle)

Connor saved up enough money to buy a phone so once he got it all set up the camera roll is just filled with pictures of Sumo, other dogs he saw in public while out, him and Hank taking selfies, Hank who once got drunk and stole his phone and took pictures of himself, you and Connor selfies, (if you two are romantically together, sometimes just pictures of you, many, many pictures of you) and, you, Hank, Sumo and him all in a photo together. Maybe a couple of photos with his other friends too such as Markus etc etc but it’s mainly those.

Connor love’s physical touch, platonically, romantically, all of it. Every day he gives Hank a good morning hug, and a good night hug (best son ever fr) and every time he sees you he squeezes you into a tight hug and won’t let go for a good minute (if you two are in love he’ll also pepper your entire face with kisses for that entire minute finishing off with a smooch on the lips)

Ok that’s all for now, I love Connor fr he’s my favourite I would die for him.

I know this was super cringe but I had sm fun doing this.

Ok it’s like 2AM I should go to bed

Bye bye!

#cod x reader #cod mw2 x reader #dbh x reader #Detroit become human x reader #I swear to god if I see anyone shipping Hankcon I will block u #also goes for price and gaz or really any on the team I see them as his children it makes me super uncomfy and it’s just kinda weird #:3 #also i just read the most wild COD fan fic on here like oh my god Jesus Christ y’all need to be restrained #I cant sleep help me #I’m so hyper rn

41 notes · View notes

bard-llama · 2 years

Text

WiP Wednesday

I toooootally didn’t forget that today was Wednesday! But it’s STILL Weds for another 2 hours where I am, which means you get a snip! I started rereading (Im)Perfect Strangers today so have a snip from the Don’t Cry for Me, Temeria ‘verse.

“Mr. Zoltan,” Boussy tugged on the dwarf’s clothing one evening in the public dining hall. Roche was busy bullying Fenn into letting Imadia look at his broken wrist, because the idiot kept trying to use it, but he saw the way everyone in the area turned at least partial attention towards the boy. It was, after all, less common for Boussy to initiate conversations, especially in public.

“What can I do for you, Wee Lad?” Zoltan asked, smiling behind his bushy beard.

“How come dwarves hate elves?” Boussy asked innocently, probably unaware of the immediate tension that spread across the room. There were the dwarves within hearing distance, of course – Zoltan, Yarpen, and Skalen, most notably – but there were also several elves, because Iorveth had followed Imadia and Rinn was sitting next to Anais. In other words, this could end badly.

“Ah,” Zoltan coughed. “Well, the easiest answer is because elves hate dwarves.”

“They do?” Boussy tilted his head.

“Magda said,” Anais interrupted loudly, “that it’s cause elves were like humans before humans were here.”

That certainly didn’t go over well with the elves present, though Zoltan nodded.

“She’s not wrong, though I wouldn’t, uh, use those words, exactly.”

“What does that mean?” Boussy asked, frowning down at his hands.

“Well, uh…” Zoltan cleared his throat, glancing around quickly to search for either support or an escape.

Roche would love to help, but honestly, he knew nothing about the history between elves and dwarves. And he was kind of curious, though very on edge. There were an awful lot of people around who might have personal opinions about that history, and that tended to get messy.

Skalen Burdon, the alderman’s nephew, ducked his head, pointedly not making eye contact with Zoltan, but Yarpen Zigrin seemed to take pity on him.

“Elves were the conquerors of the continent before humans came along and did it better,” Yarpen said bluntly, and Roche winced, practically able to feel the offense coming from Iorveth.

“Excuse you,” Iorveth’s voice was snippy. “We spread culture across the continent.”

“Yeah, by conquering people,” Yarpen glared at him. “Bah, are you even old enough to remember?”

Now Roche was the one frowning. Wasn’t Iorveth like… really old?

“Not many are,” Imadia said gravely, somehow spreading a sense of calm. “The times Yarpen speaks of started long before the Conjunction of the Spheres. And yes,” she held up a hand in Iorveth’s face, “you are too young. When you were born, elves already ruled the continent, though not without conflict.”

Zoltan snorted, “that’s one way to put it. Elves tried – and failed – to conquer Mahakam.”

“Wait, really?” Thirteen blurted out, blinking in surprise. “But like – even Foltest didn’t really conquer Mahakam. And everyone said he was mad to even try!”

“No, he didn’t.” Yarpen and Zoltan both looked smug.

Roche decidedly kept his mouth shut. There was no need to remind people that he’d been part of that campaign.

“Plenty o’ other places they did succeed in conquering, though. Just look at Loc Muinne!”

Iorveth stiffened. The matter of the extinction of the Vrans was a complicated one, and Iorveth had personal connections to Loc Muinne’s history. It was probably best to move on from this quickly.

“So what about dwarves?” Roche asked.

“What about us?” Zoltan asked, eyeing Iorveth in a way that meant he too was aware of why Roche was changing the subject.

“Well, humans came and conquered. Elves came and conquered. Did dwarves ever? Or uh, other species before the Conjunction?”

“Not really,” Zoltan shrugged. “Not to say that there weren’t some who tried – I’ve no doubt every species has at least some of those. But as a species, we dwarves live in the mountains, which many other species find… inhospitable. Not all of them, though! Dwarves and gnomes have always gotten along well enough.”

“Wait, but we live in a mountain,” Anais pouted.

“Ah, but remember,” Pillow Tits smiled kindly at her, “humans can’t live without sunlight. So we can live in mountains, but we need to return to the surface fairly regularly or our health will start to decay.”

“But dwarves don’t?” Boussy asked.

Zoltan shook his head. “Not really. I mean, there are effects on vision if you don’t experience sunlight fairly regularly. But I think maybe that came later – that we adjusted to sunlight later, and that’s why we can lose that, if we stay under the mountains for too long. Sunlight hurts if you’ve been out of it for too long.”

“Hmm, that’s an interesting theory,” Imadia tapped her finger against her chin and Iorveth rolled his eye. “Dwarves came from stone, yes? I’ve heard some say that you’re eternal like stone as well, but – well, I think that was more poetic than accurate.”

“Mmm, sort of,” Skalen grunted. “I dunno anything about the pre-Conjunction stuff, but when dwarves die, we return to the stone. You can visit our catacombs here, in fact. They’re quite something, I must say.”

“Full of wraiths,” Geralt grumbled under his breath. “Every fucking body had a wraith, pretty much.”

Roche blinked. What had Geralt been doing with the bodies in the Vergen Catacombs and why?

#rorveth #iorveth x roche #don't cry for me temeria #the witcher #WiP Wednesday

3 notes · View notes

harrys-bf · 2 years

Text

Fake social media | (Part 2)

Pt.1

H.S x male!reader (he/him)

A/N: Second part of the seriessss!! As always please leave some feedback💌 so i know u liked it. Also you cannot take my work and put it in another platform, thanks <3

pls give me some concepts cause im running out of ideas lol

Face claim: @hernankanno on instagram <3

liked by harrystyles, anyataylorjoy and 6,993,183 others

@yourinstagram: Today is our 6th Anniversary, 6 big years married to the love of my life and I couldn’t be more happy about it. I can only thank you for being the most amazing husband in the world, thank you for always being there for me. I can’t wait to have so many more anniversaries with you, H. I love you.

P.S: We never give content about us together so you can have this pics lol.

tagged: @harrystyles

view 78,162 comments

@harryfan4: JAW ON THE MF FLOOR

@harryfan1: HOLY SHIT

@harrystyles: I love you my dear husband.

@yourinstagram: 😚😚 ilyt

@harryfan5: shitting tears rn😍

@taylorswift: Congratulations you two!! So happy for you both!!🙌🙌💖

@adele: Yes!! Another year full of love!!

@florencepugh: Congratulations to my favourite people!!

@zendaya: Congrats!!! Another year that our besties got married!! Damn I miss the iconic wedding you had, can we have another one?

@yourinstagram: Good question daya. @harrystyles what do you think?🥱

@harrystyles: ehh

@jacobelordi: no wedding, no like.

@harrystyles: not fair.

@harryfan6: PLS OMFG ANOTHER WEDDING WOULD BE AWESOME

@harryfan1: he commented again. im exploting.

harry&y/nfan5: I would literally pass away.

y/nfan6: HAHAHHA JACOB

@benbarnes: Congrats to my fav couple!!

@harryfan6: IM SORRY BUT THE FIRST FUCKING PICTURE ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!&1):92)/91!

@harryfan9: FRRR IM CRYING SO HARD RN

y/nfan2: IM SO JEALOUS LIKE WHAT

harryfan5: idk who i want to be, harry or y/n 💀

@danaigurira: Congratulations!!! Send you both lots of love!!

@hunterschafer: Congrats besties!! So happy for you lot! Sending all my love to you both and Philip!!

(A/N: Phillip is their child lol)

@tchalamet: YooooOOOoo THAT pic

yourinstagram: AHAHQJSHQIA SHH TIMMY

@y/nfan2: what are they talking about 😭

@y/nfan8: ik, so random💀

@juliannemoore: Congratulations loves!! All my love and happiness to you both!!💖

@troyesivan: CONGRATS TO MY FAV GAYS!!😩😩😩

@yourinstagram: HAJSAJAJAHAH

liked by yourinstagram, twhiddleston and 8,173,817 others

@harrystyles: My muse and love of my life thank you for all this wonderful years, we’ve been together longer than our marriage years but ever since we got married I can just burst with love, thank you for everything y/n, I’m so excited to spend much more years and anniversaries with you, xx H.

tagged: @yourinstagram

view 97,938 comments

@yourinstagram: I love you so much H

@harrystyles: i love you more <3

harry&y/nfan2: MY PARENTS 😭💞

@gemmachan: Im going to cry, I remember when you both were just teenagers in love and now It’s your sixth anniversary as a married couple 💔😭

@yourinstagram: don’t cry 😭 youre gonna make me cry

@harrystyles: lets just dont bring up our past selves

@yourinstagram: why? you embarrassed of your old funny cringy-self? or what else u embarrassed for? the twitter thing? HAHAH

@harrstyles: I am embarrassed, of you.

@yourinstagram: OH YOU DID NOT

@gemmachan: OH HE DID NOT

@harryfan3: PLS THEYRE CHILDREN

@harryfan1: harry just wrote more comments. im going to combust

@y/nfan3: HAHAHAHAH

@tomholland2013: Congrats mates!!

@richardmadden: Congrats fellas!!

@twhiddleston: Congrats!!! 👏👏👏

@mattxhitt: Congratulations lads!!

@dominicfike: Yuhhh Harry!! Love you both mates!!

(lmao its all congratulations fellas, mates, lads, guys 💀 its hard to continue with a concept that I dont know what to do with, im just going with the flow 😭)

liked by harrystyles, phoebebridgers and other 3,719,193

@yourinstagram: we decided on going to the beach, Phillip was so excited, in fact he was that excited that he fell and cried for about ten minutes until he distracted himself with a bird 💀

view 14,173 comments

@harrystyles: it was a disaster.

@florencepugh: what happened?😭

@yourinstagram: Phillip fell, Harry and I forgot the towels, we left them at our counter, we had to wait until we dried ourselves naturally, we forgot to bring water, Harry almost got drowned by a bunch of waves and then the mosquitos attacked us. Harry’s right, it was a disaster 💀💀

@harryfan6: PLS OMG THIS IS HILARIOUS

@y/nfan: imagine harry and y/n fighting the mosquitos so they didn’t do anything to Phillip 😭

@harryfan4: HAHAHA yes but imagine Harry getting dragged by the waves 💀

@harryfan3: PLSSS

@mileycyrus: when will I get to see my not-blood-related nephew??

@yourinstagram: SOONNNN

@y/nfan3: WHAT

@tchalamet: IS PHILLIP OKAY???

@yourinstagram: yes, not a single scratch in his body, istg that baby can be so dramatic sometimes 💀

@harrystyles: he is your son after all.

@yourinstagram: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY

@gemmachan: AHSIWHAKLMFAOO HARRY😭

@harryfan5: AHHAHHAHA HARRY

@harryfan4: PLSSS

liked by yourinstagram, harrystyles and 198,728 others

@gemmastyles: Phillip met some goats for the first time today, he loved them 😭😭

tagged: @harrystyles and @yourinstagram

view 89,809 comments

@yourinstagram: PLS WHEN HE BACKED OFF THE GOAT AND FELL BECAUSE HE GOT SCARED AHAHAH💀

@gemmastyles: IT WAS SO FUNNY

@harrystyles: poor phillip, if only he knew you guys laugh when he falls 😕

@yourinstagram: you laughed too, dont lie, even snorted trying to stifle your laugh 💀

@harryfan5: AHAJSHWIAH EXPOSED

@harryfan7: PLSSS HARRY

@harryfan8: that means we have more dadrry concepts yall

@harryfan9: ^ HAJAHAHS PLEASE, fanfic writers fellas wya

@mileycyrus: I’m so jealous 🥱

@yourinstagram: WE’LL SEE YOU SOON DONT WORRY

@harryfan8: MMM SUS

@florencepugh: I miss Phillip sm, BRING HIM TO ME👹

@yourinstagram: pls, everybody wants to see Phillip 😭

@harrystyles: it’s his Styles genetics, the little lad is such an icon

@yourinstagram: -🥸🤓

@harryfan6: he called harry a grandpa nerd PLSSSS

@y/nfan6: this is gold 😭

397 notes · View notes

kuroiza · 3 years

Text

AN OUTSIDER’S POINT OF VIEW

haitani ran !

SUMMARY; A stall owner was forced to observe two teenagers due to their frequency in visiting his shop. Telling you a story through an outsider’s eyes.

FORMAT; Fic

READER; Female

RELATIONSHIP; Platonic to romantic, friends to lovers

NOTES; NO BECAUSE THIS SHIT IS SO FUCKING CUTE I CANT???? IM LITERALLY CRYING OVER THIS AS I WRITE I HOPE I BRING THIS OUT IN THE BEST QUALITY HOLY SHIT

WORD COUNT; 1996

The small oden stall owner was a man in his late fifties along with his wife, who is around the same age as her husband. The wife doesn’t work there, she is a florist with a small business that only familiars would purchase from. They are fine with that, no need to make big money, a simple life was what the lovers wanted, and they have it for all these years.

His stall was on the side of a riverbank. Green, fresh and healthy grass cushioned the old wood that created the stall. He was quite the traditional man, refusing to switch to modern, metal ones, not even plastic ones. Said that he doesn’t have long before he retires, no care for new stuff. The stall was barely standing on its own and if it falls, it’s a message from fate.

He has seen everything, from puppy love blossoming between two teenage individuals to fights and screams and arguments, also by said two teenage individuals. Other than that, there are quite a few delinquents roaming around these areas. Walking as if they owned the place with their shit eating grin, arrogance emitting from them. He had always despised these young’uns who doesn’t know better. Why waste a bright future for some fight in dark alleyways? He would always shake his head and sigh before going back to his own thing. If fights happened near, he’d pack up and leave earlier than usual.

“Hello~” a carefree voice reached the old man’s ears, he looked up, figure stiffening for a split moment before managing a smile.

“Welcome, welcome! Help yourselves, yeah?”

Haitani Ran.

Seems like the other brother isn’t here today. The old man silently noted to himself, eyes widening in shock when a timid female came into view. He knew there was another figure behind the tall boy but, he didn’t expect a girl.

The Haitani brothers have made a name for themselves, everyone in the area must know of them and the neighboring areas at least caught wind of the duo. It was hard to miss.

Haitani Ran wasn’t such a bad lad, he had surely heard violent stories and rumors about the boy and he definitely believed them, for he had witnessed the act himself once, but if you did not bother him, he would leave you be. He wasn’t a violent killing machine that beats everything in his way to a plump. He had standards.

The boy sure is tall, needing to slouch over so his head wouldn’t hit the top of the stall. He was smiling at the girl he brought with.

What is their relationship? Surely not lovers, not yet, at least. The girl was far too tense and awkward, clearly not opening up to the boy yet. First date? Well, none of his business. The old man went back to cleaning some kitchen utensils and organizing the place a bit. It wasn’t long before he’s closing.

Just one thought lingering on his mind; why would someone looking as innocent as her tag around someone as aggressive as him?

Probably because of the looks? He does have to admit that the Haitani brothers looked more than decent compared to other usual delinquents.

Well, not his business.

“Ah...you don’t look comfortable sitting like this.” He heard the girl’s concerned voice, not long before the voice was directed towards himself. “Excuse me,” she started out gently.

“Could we please eat beside the river?” The girl pointed, just a few steps ahead the stall itself. Close enough to let the owner attempt to chase and yell if anyone decided to leave without paying. “He might get back problems if he continued sitting like this.” Came a nervous chuckle from her, gesturing to the boy beside.

The girl didn’t look like someone who would take advantage of an old man, anyway, so he let them. Of course, the eerie smile from the tall boy did some effects as well.

So the two gathered what they wanted in their own paper bowls, different kinds of hot and tasty ingredients in an embrace of hot soup. They stood and walked to their spot. The old man could see them very well, the fabric hanging on the entrance of his stall covering just the top half of their heads.

It was quiet at first, most of the talking coming from the boy and for some reason, the old man felt a little bad. He reminds him of himself during his youth trying to get his current wife to notice him, though he wasn’t a delinquent.

But the boy didn’t seem to mind her quietness all that much. If anything, he’s probably amused by it. Ah, is she perhaps blushing and fidgeting at the moment? Of course, if such an attractive boy payed so much attention on you, anyone would get flustered.

He continued going on his cleaning.

Until he heard a loud laugh, a laugh from the girl. The old man turn to look and saw her figure shake, hand covering mouth as she tries her very best to not just break down in happy tears right there and then. Her bowl of meal placed on the ground beside, careful not to tip it over.

Oh, how wide the boy beside you was smiling. Eyes fixated on her and solely her. There’s so much love in the air. The old man may or may have not thought that sarcastically.

Though, it is nice to witness some pure love once in a while.

Guess that’s one step closer to a relationship for you guys.

Every week, the two teens would come to his stall at least once. It was like a routine.

“Quite cute, isn’t it?” His wife had commented when he brought it up over the dining table. Is it cute? He wasn’t sure. The old man was just worried that such a guy is probably out there breaking hearts and she might just be one along the way. She was a sweet and kind girl—from what he could gather from her frequent visits—he hope she would find happiness. Surely with someone like him that can’t be achieved, right?

Oh, well, it’s none of his business. Besides, it’s wrong to judge people when he doesn’t know a single thing. Who knows, maybe she did somehow magically caught such a person’s heart. He was just the stall owner that sees them every week and happens to get to watch their little story together.

“Hello, ojisan!”

Oh, man, these two are definitely together now. It’s been a few months and during those few months there was progress, good progress. She’s now tugging at his hand to make him sit, getting their usual order of ingredients before skipping off to the other side of the riverbank.

Before he realized, the two teens had gained the old man’s trust, enough to let them sit on the other side of the riverbank, far far away from the stall itself.

Though, they are still directly across the ancient stall. So he was still able to see them.

The two were chatting away happily, occasionally taking bites from their food and he’d wipe the corner of her lips when a drop of soup decided to travel down. Sitting closer than ever, laughing happier than ever.

Okay, maybe it is cute. They look genuinely happy together.

The old man shifted in his seat, scratching his head and brows furrowed. There’s something missing...

Well, those two are certainly close, but there was still a thin, invincible wall between the two of them. Separating, unable to go further.

Ah, whatever. None of his business. When had he become an expert in love, anyway?

“Hey! It’s you again.” The old man greeted, watching her sit and flashing a smile. Haitani Ran wasn’t with her today. She probably sensed his confusion and explained awkwardly.

“Ah...um, he has a meeting with the gang, or whatever. I don’t think he’s going to make it today.”

But you still came here on the designated time. He silently thought in his mind. “But, wouldn’t he find a time to come for you? He’s your boyfriend, after all.”

“Eh?”

Her cheeks heated, flushed and hot at his words, arms flailing around in panic. “N-No! We’re not together! We’re just...friends.”

Oh.

“Apologies for the accusation.” He sighed, leaning against the counter behind him. Guess delinquents still pay more attention to fights than romance, huh? But, for some strange reasons, the old man had a small hope that the boy would definitely show up. For her. It was weird, it’s not like he knew the two kids particularly well to know what they’re like.

“So, do you want some, then?” He nodded to the oden bathing in boiling hot soup. Smiling gently at her small nod. He moved to get a bowl and utensils until a tall figure intruded the space of the small humble stall.

“Hm~? Were you guys talking bad about me when I’m not here?”

“Ran!” The girl stare surprised, clearly didn’t expect him to actually come, but everyone knew she was happy with the look on her face. “Don’t you...don’t you have a meeting? With Tenjiku?”

His head tilted. “Hm? It can wait. Or Rindou can fill me in later. Doesn’t matter.”

Ran’s lips stretched wide at her blushing cheeks and fidgeting figure, his gloved finger stroking her warm cheek. “Mhm...you’ve been waiting long?”

Behind the stall, the old man silently scoffed at the two with a smile and shook his head.

“Since when did you let teens eat so far from your place? You never trusted them.” One of the old man’s friends laughed, nodding towards the direction across. “Oh! Is that one of the Haitani brothers? Did he threaten you or something?”

He sighed at his friend. “No. The girl beside him seems trustworthy enough, so I let them. They’ve been coming here for some time now.”

“Ooh, regulars, eh?”

“So you’ve just been sitting here third-wheeling a freshly bloomed love?”

He rolled his eyes in response.

“You look like you like them.”

“Well, they’re nice kids.”

“Haitani? Nice?” His friend laughed mockingly. “Sooner or later that girl’s heart is going to get broken. Better warn her before it’s too late.”

The old man disagrees.

He fans himself with the plastic hand fan, the sun was kind today, a gentle breeze passes by, nothing out of the extraordinary. Just the usual two teens sitting on the other side of the—

The chair was knocked off as the old man stood abruptly, eyes bulging as he stared.

He feels bad, this isn’t something he should watch on but he just couldn’t find himself to be polite and look away. He had witnessed the start of their story together and now he’s determined to know how its heading to its next arc.

He silently rooted, fingers gripping the hand fan tighter and tighter as the two of them inched closer and closer. The Haitani boy had his one hand on her cheek, gently guiding her shy and unsure self to him and...

kiss!

“HAHAH!” He slapped his thigh, picking the chair up again and sat down, grinning widely at the two.

“Look at you, used to be so skeptical and now behaving like this.” The old man jumped in surprise, turning to see his wife walking in the small space of the stall. “I think you’re the happiest out of everyone with their successful relationship.”

He grumbled, heat rushing to his face in embarrassment. “I’m just an outsider, got nothing to be happy about.”

The wife half-hearted a yeah, yeah, before taking a stool and sitting beside, allowing her husband to gently pull her close. Her head rested on his shoulder before she sigh contented.

“Is this how we were?”

“Guess so.”

Across them, the girl shyly buried her face in the boy’s chest, causing him to laugh a cute melody, that probably reddened her cheeks even more.

#haitani ran x reader #haitani ran #ran haitani x reader #ran haitani #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo manji revengers #tokyo manji revengers x reader #durakenchin | works

808 notes · View notes

meltwonu · 4 years

Text

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 5]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ?

“You guys! I--you have to see this!”

You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.

sleepy_wonu: holy hell

universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella

alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads

angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol

You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y’know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.

dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)

tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast

hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss

dom.cheol has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”

dom.cheol: 5

universe_WZ: 4

sleepy_wonu: 6

angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5

alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!

gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3

tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck

kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!

xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!

therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….

chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear

hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky

Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”

Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”

dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?

xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…

The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.

“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”

tangerine_kwan has donated $75

xcaliburDK has donated $50

dom.cheol has donated $200

dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum

Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.

dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute

therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now

angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao

“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.

sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar

gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol

“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.

kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting

chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it

dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get

“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.

You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.

tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh

therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE

Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.

Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.

He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.

Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.

“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”

Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.

Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.

angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging

universe_WZ: NO

dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)

You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.

hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out

artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this

xcaliburDK: goddamn same

The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.

You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.

Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.

alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby

universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck

universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk

You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.

“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”

dom.cheol has donated $400

dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)

universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON

universe_WZ has donated $150

angelhan has donated $150

therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close

hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/

You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.

You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show.

Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.

Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think.

He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.

You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.

Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.

The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.

His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it.

All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.

Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.

The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.

In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.

Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.

And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.

“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either. Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”

Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.

“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”

While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.

The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.

And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.

“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”

Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.

He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.

“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.

“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”

Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.

He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.

“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.

“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”

You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.

He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.

Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.

“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.

Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”

“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”

You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.

“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”

He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.

“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.

“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”

The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”

“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.

“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.”

Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.

“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”

“It’s a deal!”

The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.

“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”

You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.

In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.

The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.

Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.

“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #scoups #seungcheol

484 notes · View notes

bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher · 4 years

Text

under pressure

(hey guys, welcome to another installment of the swashbuckler au. Geralt’s gonna get very very Protective in this 'chapter'.

warnings for this chapter include: a very brief mention of blood, being threatened with a knife, and mild peril)

Why? Jaskier wondered. His back was pressed tightly against the rough brick of an unfamiliar alley wall and the man who had demanded his nonexistent coin-purse was pressing the tip of a very sharp dagger just below his navel. Why am I always the one getting into these kinds of situations?

“I told you, good sir, that I have no money on my person.”

“Everyone around here keeps gold ‘im. What kind of idiot goes around a port town full of pirates without some kind of insurance against coming to harm?”

“Are you saying that because I have no money you are going to do me harm?”

“Somethin’ like that,” the man leered. The dagger pushed in again and Jaskier knew that it had ripped through the fabric of his shirt when the tip suddenly bumped against the skin of his stomach. “Since you don’t have any money you’ll just have to come back and explain this misunderstanding to my captain yourself.”

“Excuse m-”

The man yanked Geralt’s lucky red bandanna down and tugged it backwards, sliding it between his teeth and effectively gagging the ex-nobleman. He spun Jaskier around and shoved his chest up tightly to the brick. The brigand roughly yanked his hands behind his back and tied them with a length of rope that appeared from seemingly nowhere. The newly minted pirate struggled violently, kicking out his legs and wiggling his torso in an effort to dislodge or disrupt his attacker. Maybe his struggling would get someone’s attention (although it was highly unlikely in a town such as this). Unfortunately the mugger was practiced and nothing Jaskier tried seemed to bother or slow him down at all.

Starkey and Lambert were only a few feet away! He could hear the rise and fall of their voices as they bartered for supplies with the hardtack merchant around the corner. The anxious brunette whined, trying to make the sound high enough to reach his friends and crewmates. If only he could get the kerchief out of his mouth for a split second, then he could whistle or shout…

He felt the surface of the wall scratching his skin through the hole in his shirt and he frowned. That would leave an unpleasant mark for the next few days and make wearing his sword-belt an absolute nightmare. If he was still part of the Kaer Morhen’s crew by nightfall, that was. If this man didn’t succeed in his current mission of pressing Jaskier into service aboard some other pirate vessel. Jaskier’s blue eyes widened even further as a real sense of panic set in. They might not be able to find me in time. We might head out to sea before Geralt even knows I’m missing if they don’t turn around and noti-

“Hey, where’s Jaskier?” he heard Starkey ask. Oh, thank gods.

“Shit.”

“We’d better find him quickly because I can see Geralt from here,” Starkey added. “I don’t want to be the one to tell him that we lost his precious little siren while we were busy bickering with a shopkeeper.”

“Fucking hells,” Lambert groaned. C’mon, Jaskier pleaded silently. Just around the corner, lads. Please, Starkey. You guys know I’m too annoying to stay quiet for this long.

The man with the dagger had already started yanking him backwards down the alley towards a questionable-looking wagon. Jaskier’s attacker kept one hand fisted into the back of the kerchief and used it to maneuver his head around, much like one would control the reins of a horse. The ex-noble made a loud, wordless noise from behind the cloth. Muffled as he was, he was praying that any one of his crewmates heard it and felt the need to investigate.

Another stranger in dark clothing appeared around the corner and helped the first man lift Jaskier onto the back of the wagon. The newcomer reached for Jaskier’s wildly flailing legs and pulled them together. He tied the brunette’s ankles with another piece of strong hemp rope and tested the knots with his fingers for any slack or give. There was none. The young man screamed and grunted, trying with every ounce of strength he possessed to free himself from their twin grips. It was a fruitless endeavor; they were strong and clearly practiced in the art of stealing other people’s crewmembers.

“Jaskier! Oh, fuck! Hey you there, let go of him!” Lambert was running down the alley towards them, hand on the hilt of his cutlass. The man keeping the gag cinched tight pulled his dagger out again, holding it up against the column of Jaskier’s throat. The second kidnapper released Jaskier’s tied ankles and made his way towards the front of the wagon. Lambert slid to a stop, eyes narrowed threateningly. “Captain! Starkey! I found ‘im. He’s in danger!”

Had Jaskier not been scared witless by the threat of having his life ended rather abruptly via blood-loss, he probably would have smirked. These men, regardless of who their scurvy-ridden captain was, were about to get their asses handed to them by one of the most wanted pirates to ever sail the seven seas. Certainly one of the most renowned and fearsome.

The blade of the knife pressed even more tightly against the skin of his Adam's apple and Jaskier flinched. Maybe, if I even live long enough to see Geralt kick their asses. At least my death will be avenged quickly, otherwise.

As if summoned by his lover’s thoughts the handsome, white-haired Captain appeared at the opposite end of the alley. Jaskier thought he might cry from the mere sight of him. He definitely wanted to let out a relieved sob when Geralt growled out, “It’ll go easier for both of you if you just put the dagger down and release the boy now.”

The ex-noble felt his captor’s muscles twitching nervously as he released a humorless chuckle. Don’t slip up now, Jaskier prayed. Not while you’ve got a knife against my neck.

“Why should we do that?” his captor questioned. The man tugged at the already taut bandanna and Jaskier whined in pain when the damp material bit into the skin of his cheeks. The fury written across Geralt’s features was absolutely terrifying; he looked like an avenging angel, his strong stature defined by the light of the square behind him and his silvery hair wild around his face.

Jaskier didn’t want to die, not in the slightest, but this wouldn’t be the worst last sight to see, all things considered. The man tugged the material again and Jaskier’s eyes widened when his neck scraped against the edge of the dagger’s sharp blade. “He’d fetch a fair price from our captain. He’d probably fetch a very hefty bit of gold if we took him down the coast a-ways, actually. Your threats aren’t going to lose me a nice bag of coin.”

Geralt took one slow, measured step forward and drew his cutlass with an effortless extension of his arm. “I’ll give you one last chance to let him go peacefully before I start slitting throats,” he snarled. The scowl on his face would make any ordinary person soil their knickers on sight, but the man holding Jaskier had probably seen something like this before. He was experienced. He teasingly nicked the young man’s tanned skin with the dagger and Jaskier hissed. The sound had Geralt’s eyes going wide with rage. His nostrils flared and his hand twitched. The kidnapper smirked confidently as a thin line of blood beaded on the brunette's skin, “Oops.”

There was a blur of movement from Geralt’s end of the alley, a whooshing sound, and then a wet thud. The man keeping Jaskier captive fell back, dropping his dagger to the ground below as he did. Jaskier wriggled forward in an attempt to reach Geralt and ended up toppling heavily off the back of the wagon and onto the cobblestone street. Lambert dashed to his side and pulled the kerchief out from between his teeth. The younger man was panting, blue eyes wild and confused. “Did Geralt just hit that guy with a knife!?”

“Yeah.”

The ex-noble gave a short, hysterical laugh. His eyes took on a glazed, unfocused quality and Lambert looked to Geralt for help. “Neat,” he muttered.

Jaskier wasn’t sure if it was the shock of having his life legitimately threatened, the smell of his own blood invading his nose, or the impact from hitting the stone walkway, but just as Geralt knelt down at his side, he passed out.

----------

When his eyelids finally fluttered open again, Jaskier had to squint. The late-afternoon sun slanted in through the porthole of Geralt’s cabin, surrounding the grim-faced Captain with a halo of golden light. “My hero,” Jaskier sighed. He was a lucky man to have a lover so attentive, protective, and also incredibly sexy.

“Jaskier!” the pirate pulled him into a sitting position and wrapped him in a hug, crushing the slightly smaller man against his broad chest. “I was so worried that he’d gotten your vein or hurt you some other way that we couldn’t see. Are you alright, little nymph?”

“I’m alright,” he blushed. Geralt’s nose was buried stubbornly in his hair, breathing in repeatedly as if he’d been afraid he’d never see Jaskier awake again. “Really, darling, I’m just a little shaken. That’s all. I thought we were running errands today. I wasn’t expecting to be taken captive and threatened with a life of piracy.”

“You’re - Jask, you’re living a life of piracy.”

“It was a joke,” the ex-noble teased. Geralt relaxed his grip slightly and leaned back. His amber eyes searched Jaskier’s blue ones for any sign of dishonesty or hidden pain and found none. His siren was telling the truth. The Captain took a seat on the edge of his small bed and dragged his lover onto his lap. Jaskier noticed with a sly smile that he was draped in one of the White Wolf’s overly-large burgundy shirts. One he didn’t wear very often but that Jaskier found him endlessly attractive in nonetheless. “Geralt, did you change my shirt for me?”

“Your other one was ripped. It had blood on it. We also had to bandage your wounds.”

“Oh. Thank you for letting me borrow it,” Jaskier flapped his arms a little, letting the sleeves roll down over his hands. “I love roomy shirts to sleep in.”

“You can just ask to borrow them,” the Captain relented. “You don’t always need a scheme to get what you want, little nymph.”

“Hmm,” Jaskier sighed, cuddling close again. “I absolutely did not think up the idea of coming to bodily harm in order to borrow your shirts, as likely as that sounds. Thank you for rescuing me, Geralt.”

“I am not an easy man to scare,” the pirate intoned seriously. His grip on Jaskier tightened and his voice grew scratchy with emotion as he continued. “But seeing you like that today had me more frightened than I’ve ever been before in my life. I’ve faced down bigger ships with better guns and more men than mine. I was briefly incarcerated by the mayor of Novigrad and sentenced to hang. I’ve seen my fair share of scary things, my sweet siren, but I would never be able to live with myself if you came to harm. That’s the most terrifying thought of all.”

“Geralt,” the young man gasped. He wrapped his arms around his Captain’s shoulders and moved to straddle the larger man’s wide lap. He pressed a brief but bracing kiss to the White Wolf’s saltwater-chapped lips. “The thought of never seeing you again is the worst thought in the world. Let us never be parted.”

“Hmm.” Geralt’s left hand moved to grip Jaskier’s corresponding hip while his right arm went around the back of his nymph’s slender shoulders. He gently pulled their chests together and nibbled his way up the uninjured side of his little nymph’s neck, reveling in every soft, yielding noise the brunette made. He pressed a rough, wet kiss to the soft skin behind Jaskier’s ear and growled possessively, “Never.”

(of course 1/2 of all my swashbuckling au credit goes to @limrx)

477 notes · View notes

skul-the-terf-slayer · 2 years

Note

WOO lore time this is nerve wracking (everything below this line is c! not cc!)

why is he talking about withers..........

"who needs a shield when you can just STAAAAAB"

im so excited bro tubbo-techno lore is so good. animosity pogchamp

I am doing algebra while watching the stream in order to feel productive, do you feel me? do you feel the vibe?

"every where I go I see his face *insert fake crying* jk we're gonna avenge him today chat"

TUBBO!!!!!! MY LAD!!!!! MY BRO!!!! HE'S HERE BESTIE!!!

bro they're gonna go mess Eret up leave them alone they have michael 😭

"how are you fellow person with..... aligned goals"

CRYING HE WENT QUIET WHEN TCEHCNO SAID IT WAS RANBOO'S AXE IM GOING TO SCREEHC

imm losing it these mfs are laughing and im here going analysis mode and crying

TUBBO AND TECHNO AGREE THAT TUBBO HAS NOTHING AND HE LOST HIS CHILD ADN TUBBO IS IN DENIAL AND HES GONNA SPEEDRUN THE STAGES OF GRIEF AAHHAHAHAAAA

AWWW YISSSS HE'S GETTIN VENGENCE

"I feel like I owe you an apology" fuckin. hng. THEY DO NEED TO TURN OVER A NEW LEAF PLEASE PELS EPLEASE EASPLE

YES YES YES UNDERSNAD THE CYCLICAL NATURE OF REVENGE YESSSS

fuck character development Michael first priority

oh my god I am getting ANALYSIS material im so into this

EREt! TALK TO THEM!

why does Eret sound so ominous bruv. tubbo is, so desperate to get his son back

ERET WHAT THE HELL WHY DID YOU TRUST SAM IM GOING TO GRRRRR SO TRUE TUBBO.

HES HURTING MICHAEL WHAT THE FUCK. HAT WHAT DGERL FSGDSL MURDERE

tubbo is so angry go you tubbo <3. fuck sam tho no offense but like full offense. give me Michael back RN.

HE'S A PRISON WARDEN ERET. PLEASE.

mans just making up random coords love that for him

tubbo :(( making sure michael isnt scared of him :(((

STOOOOP "now we've got the epic team up of tubbo and everyone who murdered tubbo"

I was waiting for tubbo to start questioning them tbh. im so happy he doesnt trust them like this is good lore shit. good analysis material.

TECHNO IS APOLOGIZING :D!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEE AND HE'S FORGIVEN

he's still mad at Eret- LMAO he's so mad this is kinda funny but Eret is apologizing <3

ayo where he comes from? they dont have multiple lives?

stop most of this vc is literally talking in bold or comic sans.

STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP "you get locked up a lot man" STOP I AM GOING TO HHNG.

SFLNSDFGNSDFSL

ayo eryn? sus.

that is a lot of liveblogging in one ask, but i'll try my best to respond to it all

1. he's talking about withers because withers deserve to be talked about

2. he's got a point y'know, a corpse can't kill you

3. i honestly enjoy people geeking out about stuff they love (unless it's hitler (ifykyk))

4. i do feel you. the vibe is being broadcast from the heart of russia to the pentagon with the force of at least 7 megatons of tnt

5. ranboo,,

6. WOOO THE BOI IS HERE!!!

7. everytime you do one of these liveblogs, i learn more names i don't know

8. that's kind of a weird way to describe murder. I think that's more how you would describe gout /ref

9. grieving still, i guess?

10. cope /s

11. hey, kind of how i did when i couldn't spell 'fingers'! :D

12. VENGENCE POGGG

13. how exactly did you manage to spell 'please' four different ways with only one of them being correct??

14. i'm having trouble 'undersnading' half the words you're saying right now

15. first priority in what exactly????

16. get that analysis bestie, you can never get enough!

17. I believe humans have been doing that since the fossil records, but go off, ig

18. 'bruv'. i think talking to me is slowly turning you british (remorseful)

19. i have no context for any of this, but i don't need it.

20. i cannot condone the murder of another human being, but the murder of pixels has no bearing on your criminal record, so take this knife and jab it into the aggressor's face

21. 'no offence but please die <3' is the energy i get from that

23. is he a good warden?

24. HOW TO GET YOUR FRIENDS LOST (NOT CLICKBAIT??(WORKING 2022!))

25. tubbo be a good boi :))

26. OOOF but lol

27. god this is reminding me of the fnaf fandom just tearing apart each game for even the tiniest little nugget of lore (no offence)

28. TECHNO HAS BEEN ACCEPTED!! POGCHAMP!

29. at least Eret tried?

30. wait, aren't they meant to have three lives each?

31. *first note of megalovania but in vibrato*

32. please, not on the carpet

33. how am i supposed to respond to a keysmash, exactly?

34. when the im- *gets nuked from orbit*

2 notes · View notes

the-bees-knives · 3 years

Note

Hi yes hello. I saw that you rebloged the oc ask thingy and I'll be ordering for the whole table. Can I get a 2, 3 ,5, 7, 9, 10, 12, 13, 16, 17, 19, 20, 21, 32, 34, 37, 41, 45, 48, 50, 51, 55, 60, 65, 68, 69, 70, 73, 78, 83, 87, 89, 93, 96, 98, and 99? All for Biscuit. (IM REALLY REALLY SORRY I JUST WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THEM 😭)

This got real long... answers under the cut!

2. What are their favourite possessions? Why? (sentimentality, history, price, etc.)

His favourite possession... is you! ✋👁👁

Jokes aside, Biscuit isn't too materialistic. However, he does like the hairband he uses for his braid; it was a gift from his mother! The bow he wears around his neck is also a remnant of a modification of his uniform from his previous place of work. Biscuit used to work both as a mascot and a cook (it would switch depending on the situation) at his family's diner (restaurant? i don't know the term), and he added it because he thought it looked cute (also he couldn't do anything too feminine :( so this was the best he could do).

I will note that the cutlery embedded into him is not a part of his favourite possessions, despite his unwillingness to part with them. They're more like a part of his body, I guess?

3. Do They get jealous easily? If so, what usually causes it?

If Biscuit formed an attachment to someone and then saw them with someone else, he'd be wary of the new person, if not jealous. They'd have to become acquainted with Biscuit to ease him, though that might not always work. He'd still probably try to drag his companion away. Basically, he's pretty protective (possessive?) over those he likes.

5. What's their reputation like? Does this reputation contrast what they're really like?

I'm not sure how others would see him. Either it's "eccentric cosplayer (who's really in character)" or "weird dude". Probably the first one, as normal people couldn't survive with knives in their body for that long. Mostly Biscuit's just a weird dude though.

7. What's their "type"? What romantically attracts them to another person?

Biscuit doesn't really have a preference on appearance, it's more based on personality. Either it's someone who can care for him or someone who's just as feral/zero-braincell'd as him. He normally takes care of his victims, but he doesn't see that as attraction; it's more like caring for cattle before you eat it. If someone cared for him though, he'd be into it. As for the other one, it's just a feral power couple; both can be absolutely insane together (Run).

9. If they could change one part of their appearance, what would it be?

Spine that can turn 180 degrees. Reasoning: he has to sleep on his stomach because of the knives, but then his feet are bent uncomfy while on his stomach. Rotate spine for comfy feets. Plus, it'd be a cool party trick.

10. What's a simple thing that brings them joy?

Pets/physical affection. (Unfortunately, by unintentional design, this man is Unpettable.)

12. What's their position in their friend group? (leader, mom friend, chaos goblin, etc.)

The chill goblin: you can sit with him and have a nice hat, but if anything gets the interest of his one (1) braincell, he will go absolutely feral.

13. How forgiving are they? What do they consider unforgivable?

I think he's pretty forgiving, considering. If you attacked him, he'd probably consider it as play-fighting or something. He won't like it if you mess with his personal belongings, but he'll forgive you if it's for a good reason (for him) or if you give it back.

As for the things he'd find unforgivable, touching the two knives sticking out of his head is an absolute no-no. (The ones in his shoulders are sort of meh; he won't like it if you touch them, but he won't try to kill you for it.) The knives in his head are really sensitive, so he'll become agitated quick and snap if you try to move or remove them.

16. What food do they absolutely hate?

fish yucky >:(

17. Do they show a lot of affection, or are they pretty reserved?

If Biscuit had an s/o or a good friend (you know, people he's not interested in for food), he'd be pretty affectionate; he likes them and wants to show it! He might get a little close though, so make sure to set (and remind him of) personal boundaries.

19. What's their unusual quirk?

I don't know why, but I imagine that Biscuit can bleed infinitely. If you were to remove any of the knives embedded into him, the wound will just keep bleeding until they're inserted back in. I don't really have an explanation for this, but he is a human, so??? I just think it's neat.

20. Are they easy to wake up in the morning, or grouchy and sleepy?

While Biscuit does get up early, he's particularly lazy and groggy. It's kind of like those moods where you want to go back to sleep, but you can't because your body's awake.

21. What's their ideal date like?

Anywhere really, so long as his s/o is giving him attention.

32. What are they like at parties? Party animal, or awkwardly sitting in the corner drinking punch and reading?

Party animal, except everyone else is sitting in the corner trying to avoid him. He doesn’t really think before speaking, so he says whatever without any filter. (Plus, the knives don’t help. No, he won’t remove them.)

34. What’s their favourite drink? (Coffee, tea, juice, hot chocolate, soda, etc.)

Biscuit is a milkshake lad. His favourite is strawberry-banana!

37. Are they a hopeless romantic, or is that stuff just not for them?

Biscuit has a “love-at-first-interaction” mentality, like if someone shows genuine interest in him, then he wants to be with them and chases that feeling (and them).

41. What would they dress up as for Halloween?

Bold of you to assume that he’d even need a Halloween costume.

All jokes aside though, Biscuit has No Patience to put a costume together (or even look for one), so he’d probably just go with his normal wear. People have already mistaken the knives as cosplay/props anyway, so it’s just less work, instant results.

(He does have the old mascot suit, but he can’t wear it anymore without it hitting the knives.)

45. Are they always late, on time, or early?

None of the above, he forgot that event was today.

48. How dramatic are they?

Biscuit’s not the type to start drama, nor is he extremely emphatic (is that the word?) with his speech. He’s just kind of vibing.

50. Why would they be a good partner for a road trip?

Fun(?) to do activities with; will probably suggest random stuff to do if there’s no set itinerary (will probably suggest it anyway). If you’re looking for a spontaneous road trip, he’s your guy.

51. Why would they be a BAD partner for a road trip?

Will Never Sit Still; must be kept under watch constantly, otherwise he’ll run off to who knows where. (Just keep him on a leash or something)

55. Choose a vine you think perfectly encapsulates their character.

This video has pretty strong vibes of brainrot, so I think it's appropriate.

60. What sappy thing will they cry at? (romance movies, cute cat videos, etc.) Would they deny crying about it later on?

Biscuit loves all types of animals, especially furry ones (so dogs, cats, bats, rats… bean toes are a plus). So he’d absolutely cry if shown cute pet videos and gush about how precious and baby each one is. No denial either, if you confront him about it, he’d just justify it by gushing about them more. (He doesn’t have any pets of his own though. I wouldn’t trust him with a pet.)

As a side note, if he found out his victim was a beastkin or could turn into an animal or something, he’d be really conflicted on whether to harm them or not, but would ultimately decide against it.

65. Do they give people a lot of nicknames?

Biscuit isn’t creative enough to make genuine nicknames. However, if he forgot your name (and he probably would), he’d just name something off of your appearance (“pink jacket”, “shark guy”, things like that).

68. Are they easy to fluster? What would you have to do to truly fluster them?

Biscuit can only really be flustered by people he likes or people that he thinks are close to him. He’ll melt and nuzzle you if you surprise him with something nice, physical or otherwise :)

69. What’s their dream vacation like?

Go to the countryside and run around and be feral. Then chill in the evening and take a bath, because he needs to make sure his knives are clean.

70. Are they a good liar?

Biscuit doesn’t even try to lie. He’s really impulsive, and he doesn’t see what’s wrong with what he does. If he tried to lie, it’d be stupid/simple and obvious that it’s a lie, but he’d stick to his guns and insist that it’s true. Though, his voice/expression wouldn’t fluctuate, so you’d have to believe either in common sense or him.

73. Are they more book smarts, or street smarts?

Street smarts; this man’s head is empty (except for the two knives in there but).

78. What’s something they’re really bad at?

Almost anything that involves careful planning and concentration to complete. Things like puzzles or sewing; if it doesn’t give immediate satisfaction, then what’s the point?

The only things that Biscuit does pay attention to are cooking and, by extent, caring for his victim (as they’re a part of the cooking process).

83. What are they like as an s/o?

Loyal and (possibly) clingy. Will want to accompany you for days, then vanish out of thin air due to impulsiveness (will absolutely forget to feed his victim during this time, if he has one). Forgets about physical boundaries, but means well (trying to show affection).

Biscuit’s love languages are, in no particular order: physical touch, acts of service, and quality time. Personal hug-buddy that can cook :)

87. Do they like spicy food?

Yes he does! I like to imagine that he incorporates spice from time to time into his dishes. I don’t know what his tolerance would be though due to lack of experience (I will perish).

89. What would they get into a petty argument over?

Which animal is the best? Answer: it’s all of them. (Though he does have a preference towards furry animals, he tries to be unbiased in this argument.)

93. What type of movies do they like to watch?

Both gorey horror movies and feel-good movies (especially if they have animal protagonists). They’re just fun to watch.

96. What’s their sense of humour like? (Dad jokes, morbid humour, basic knock-knock jokes, stand-up comedy, etc.)

Physical humour, stand-up, and maybe surreal humour. Anything else might be too complex for him.

98. How competitive are they?

He’s not very competitive on his own, though if someone challenges him to a contest, he’s still going to try to beat them for the satisfaction of it. Don’t challenge him to a contest if you want to have chill times with him.

99. What would they wear to a formal event? Describe their outfit!

Biscuit has No Standards when it comes to social events, so he’s going as normal. If he had to dress fancy though (and if he had access to it), he’d probably just wear a simple pink dress shirt and dress pants + suspenders. Slick his hair back too. The knives stay.

(I don’t even think he can enter most shops with the knives, fake or not. I don’t know; I’ve never entered an establishment with visible knives before.)

This was a long post, so let me know if I missed anything;;

#i spent Too Much Time thinking about these answers #also sorry for the late reply; i kept getting distracted;;#is this man just a dog? maybe #biscuit oc #my oc #emi-bunni #ask #oc questions meme

6 notes · View notes

punchholesinthesky · 2 years

Text

Today i took a bath and started thinking about the fics i was reading, and how i prefer to read fic rather than the source material cause canon is exhausting. Either the comics or the movies it's just one crisis after another and everyone someone has a sliver of domesticitt of stability it never fucking lasts.

Ocassionally this leads to a arc of them processing shit, but it feels like 9/10 is just putting out fires

Meanwhile I can go reas domestic avengers circa 2012 or iron dad in a variety of aus or darcy being supreme science wrangler, just in the marvel fandom there's so many configurations. You can read about your faves just hanging out, social media aus, paintball fights, etc etc etc. Or you can read about everyone getting some goddamn therapy and cry your eyes out.

Which is a whole lot more satisfying that the canon often. Which is how i worked myself into a rant thinking how im still mad about endgame and got and himym and all those damn finales that ignore character development and are the opposite of satisfying

And then i started thinling about leverage and buffy and the good place and how they didnt ruin everything

It doesnt necessarily have to be happy. Just satisfying. Thats the important part

The good ones get this. The bad ones dont.

So thats why i read fanfic. Cause i dont want epic. Or subverted expectations. I want a satisfying story. I want my faves to heal and learn and grow and be happy.

And somehow thinking about all this led me to thinking about harley and how i bet tony did keep in touch albeit sporadically. And how after his mum died in the decimation i could see him grabbing his sister and the bike he was working on to head to nyc to find tony. Where he finds stark tower having turned into a relief centre,offering aid to those who need it, where peppee tells him about tony, and sends him to the compound, where he meets nat and starts working with her. There's a lot of would be vigilantes they need herding.

Eventually he builds his own suit and becomes iron lad. His sister is taken in by nat to be trained. He gathers would be superheroes.

Whwn tony comes back hes happy to see him. Proud of what hes done. Teaches him everything he knows before he and peper go off to the lake house having trained people to do the day to day.

Nat trains the would ve heroes and helps people, finds purpose ib that and can move one beyond the red in her ledger.

#text ramblings #i want superhero harley #and i was just reading irondad fic today

4 notes · View notes

kirby-the-gorb · 3 years

Text

reply roundup!

highlights for the past couple weeks:

@shegosato wrote another image description [here], for mining kirby, and @pranque wrote an image description for kirby at his computer [here]! thank you both! <3 all you folks who’ve so kindly contributed your time to add image descriptions since I’m not currently able to are honestly super important and appreciated.

there are also new stickers! etsy link is [here].

on the [last roundup]:

@spageddie28 said: THE GORB NOTICED ME 😳😳🥺🥺💖💖 #all praise the gorb

@askluckyandfriends said: I got noticed too :D

yes!!! that’s why I do these roundups, I love seeing all the fun tags and replies everyone leaves for me, and this way I get to acknowledge them!

@your-local-neighbourhood-kat said: The hug would make both of us feel better 🥺🥺🥺

even though he’s got little arms I bet kirby is the best at hugging. (I hope whatever’s on your mind eases soon.)

@shegosato said: i love ur kirbys they deserve an id <3 hope ur year's been good so far op!

aww, thank you! I know writing good image descriptions takes genuine effort (which is why I don’t do it myself like I should, I’m sorry TnT ) and deserves sincere recognition at the very least! (I’d love to just properly compensate someone to caption all of them as they go up someday, but it will take a while to afford. I will be sure to put out a call for interested parties once I get there!)

on [keyboard]:

@zer0cracy said: Freddy Mer-kirby

ohhh what a good pun! he’s even got the sparkles to match lol

also to the person who tagged it metal gear, I see you. I appreciate you.

on [train]:

@papioligoat said: Look at this gorb go. Lad vibin.

he’s where he Belongs.

@rinnyhere said: I want to ride an endless train and just sleep. tired of thoughts.

ohh that sounds so peaceful. just ride the train forever. highest quality naps.

on [miner]:

@macro-microcosm said: I also lost my part-time work haha. please donate to this artist! they’re so delightful and make such lovely work. they’re at this every. single. day.

aw that sucks! I hope things are at least relatively stable for now. (and thank you so much for your kind tags! I haven’t missed a day since I started in june 2018 :> )

@jupiterlandings said: he’s mining to get his webkinz crown of wonder

unfortunately I don’t know anything about webkinz so I can’t fully appreciate the joke but he’s clearly working very hard towards his goals and I support him!

@shegosato said: op thats a cute easter egg. also hope uve doing well! mayhaps a post abt commissions or donations will help?

I was very happy with myself when I came up with it lol, and I think that is a good idea! I already put out new stickers this month, but maybe I will finally figure out sticker commissions or just advertise kofi commissions at the same rate as the patreon tier.

on the [sticker poll]:

@liongerudothesilly said: I do not have Twitter, but I vote Fancy Dresses please! If you'll take a commented vote!

I just want to make sure you know your vote was seen and counted! (and I secretly wanted fancy dresses to win too lol, but even counting your vote and mine it still fell a little short. maybe I will just do it next time without asking! :v )

on [sweep]:

@aggron-rocks said: what a responsible orb

one does not become a gorb on virtue of cuteness alone. good orbs also help with chores when they can!

on [valentines stickers]:

@insertusername77 said: These are so good. At the rate things are going, Kirby's gonna be my Valentine this year

I imagine kirby would love to be your valentine. :> (he may not be very reliable at giving you chocolate, but I think he’s pretty okay at making bouquets from supermarket flowers!)

@here-comes-de-custard said: im going to cry these are so cute

@osohey said: joy and love and happyness and joy

@leolithe said: !!!!!!!!!!!!!! great arts!

I don’t always have anything to say in reply so they don’t always end up in the roundups but I see all the tags people leave and I always love tags like these, I love it when my art can make people happy <3

@legendarykerfuffle said: all i need for valentines is kirb

honestly same lol, my partner knows this and often manages to find cute little kirby plushes to give me :v

on [sumikko]:

@virovac said: Decided to look up Summikko Gurashi [screencap of character description for “penguin?” that says “am I even a penguin? penguin has no confidence. in the past, there might have been a plate on penguin’s head...”]

penguin is just like that! (they were a kappa rather than a regular penguin, which is why they are green and like cucumbers a lot. that’s what the plate thing means.)

@askluckyandfriends said: Aww I hope your mom has a great birthday!

she told me she had a nice day! (and also bragged about my art to her friends at the office lol)

on [stamps]:

@virovac said: Kirby says support your post office!

yes!!! we love the post office!

@tinybandee said: delicately places him in the mailbox, happy trails kiddo

if I wasn’t already tired for today I would love to draw him peering out of the mailbox back at you. that would be very cute. instead we will imagine it together.

from the ask box:

anonymous said: It's fine! Don't push yourself, you can't help it not feeling too great *showers you with support*

(this was sent when I posted about delaying stickers for a day) thank you so much! this genuinely did make me feel better about taking longer than I expected to get them ready <3

11 notes · View notes

ghoulsters · 4 years

Text

okay my reactions after MAG 160 and 159 (in no particular order)

-JONMARTIN JONMARTIN JONMARTIN JONMAR

-fuck elias all my homies hate elias

-ok i kinda liked peter lukas at some point but him trapping martin in the lonely was the last straw. I don't care that your childhood was fucked up don't hurt my boy

-"I really loved you, you know" im sobbing

-"what do you see?" "I see you, jon" I actually started crying at this point and had to pause to regather myself. that line is used in so many powerful times in this podcast, and it went from fear and revenge to loving another person. I love these two so much tma really did say gay rights.

-i'd like to imagine they held hands as they left the lonely.

-I hope daisy is okay after all this. Honestly melanie had the right idea everyone here needs therapy and a break.

-jon is so FOND

-i saw art with martin and one of those cute highland cows (all cows are cute) and I now know where it came from. I'd like to think if what happens in this episode didn't happen jon and martin would go on walks together and pet the cows.

-already mentioned this in a previous post but the elias meme really hit me from left field. I almost felt like it was all one big joke since I've seen it at the end of tma posts for so long that it feels like getting rickrolled or stick bugged.

-elias, jonah, whatever, i still want to drop kick him off a cliff.

-see i knew elias was always up to some shit but him basically orchestrating almost all of the fear encounters actually surprised me. I tried to avoid spoilers and it seems I avoided at least one plot twist.

-unrelated but everyday I miss tim and sasha. enjoy your kayaking trip, lads.

-that chant was so sinister and the way the static and the music builds is fantastic.

-i think about how once everything started, martin immediately thought of jon and his safety and ran back to the safehouse. jon is all he has anymore and they're so in love oh my god i might start crying again.

-jon crying and laughing at the fresh apocalypse he was forced to cause breaks my heart.

-martins little "I'm scared, jon" C'MERE SIR YOU NEED A HUG

-eyes in the sky baby

-im not gonna start season 5 for a day or two to process things, plus the new episode comes out today (it's literally 3:45 in the morning and I have classes tomorrow, I need to SLEEP) so at least I know there's more content waiting on the other side of the episodes i haven't listened to. thanks for reading my silly thoughts if you did. im going to sleep now.

#the magnus archives #tma #johnathan sims #martin blackwood #elias bouchard #tma spoilers #dinoz.txt

29 notes · View notes

punkscowardschampions · 3 years

Text

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

1 note · View note

prodigal-ezreal · 4 years

Text

“You know, growing up on the richer sides of Piltover surrounded by the intellectual elite does little to actually prepare you for the world. Piltover is pretty huge on knowledge, you’d think they would be swimming in stories from immigrants from far off lands and the dangers waiting past the city. I mean, Zaun is right there past the corner. But you get used to it quickly. It’s just a part of your reality that you don’t even question: There they are; the poor people with their poor people’s toxic fumes. Working their poor people’s jobs. Oh well. It’s not until you leave the city and look at it with the eyes of a foreigner that you realize how messed up that is. Now, don’t get me wrong, there’s rich neighborhoods and poor neighborhoods in all societies (Except Freljord? But they are not big on the whole ‘good neighbor’ thing). But Piltover gives you pretty bad whiplash when you come back to it after some healthy time away.

When I first left the city I was a lad of fifteen, eyes full of wonder and really to take on whatever the world threw my way!— Not. I was armed with a pocket knife and a whole lot of bravado that I still keep today, if in healthier amounts. I liked to think most people are good, and those who aren’t are pushed by the circumstance more often than not. That there are few people that are actually ‘born rotten’, as if something was evil from within their heart. I still think that today but, boy oh boy, was I wrong about the ratios! Turns out the world is very hard outside of Piltover and most won’t hesitate to cross you, kill you or rob you if you make yourself enough of a target. Or an inconvenience. Or if you just happen to be there.

It’s a tough world out there.

The first time the weight of this reality hit me was when I found myself running away from a couple of crooks that were very set on robbing me blind. I was still a kid, probably sixteen, and I kind of overestimated how much my baby face, pristine clothes that screamed new money and, well, the fact I have a huge bronze gauntlet on my left arm would stick like a sore thumb in Bilgewater. So there I was, running away from guys at least thrice my age and twice my height through streets and alleys I’d never crossed in my life, cutting corners and trying shortcuts that I prayed wouldn’t end in dead ends. My intuition helped me get rid of one of my pursuers, but my luck ran out when I came face to face with a dead end in the form of a run down, half destroyed and rotting wooden house. I couldn’t turn back and chose another way, the guy was closing im behind me too fast, so I went right inside to hide somewhere and hope he got bored of looking for me. Spoiler alert: he did not.

So there I was, absolutely terrified and running solely on adrenaline. I wasn’t used to the gauntlet yet and so I burned through my mana in the persecution. I was a sitting duck hiding inside a dark, small closet, trying to quiet my breathing but gasping for air. Exhausted, scared and with no idea what to do except wait with my heart hanging by a thread.

The old wood creaked under his weight, bending under his footsteps.

I could hear him coming close to me, heard him force the door open and completely dismiss the chair I put in a hurry to try and block it. My eyes followed his shadow across the floor, breathing in short breaths to not make a sound, hoping only I could hear my hearbeat rabitting in my ear.

There wasn’t much to look for in that ratty old place, so my hiding spot was pretty obvious. He turned towards me without hesitation, and while I am sure it took him no less than three seconds to cut the short distance between where he stood and the closet, I used that eternity to summon all the courage within me and jumped out the moment he opened the doors.

While he was way taller than me, the guy was pretty weak or fairly drunk because my tackle was enough to send us both rolling to the ground. We struggled and fought and I somehow managed to kick his gun out of his hand before he overpowered me and threw me off of him and into the wall. My back hit the wood first and my head whipped into it with enough force to leave me stunned for a second. I must have done a pretty number on him too, because when I opened my eyes he was cleaning the blood off his face and slowly standing up. I could see his chest rise and fall. he was tired too. But the sadistic glee of having his prize backed into a corner is seared into my mind. I look around me in a panic, knowing I am out of options but still hoping for a miracle.

The old revolved had landed somewhere close to me.

I made my choice.

I lunged for the gun and held it between my trembling hands, pointed, closed my eyes, and shot.

Three times I heard the deafening boom of a bullet going off.

Then silence, a ringing in my ears.

People don’t die like the comics or stories. Getting shot is not a clean death if you don’t aim it right. I didn’t aim it at all. One of the bullets hit him on the throat, right between the windpipes and and the vein.

He gasped for air, reaching to his neck. Tried to scream, but all that came was a gargled sound.

I saw him choke in his own blood. His teary eyes set on me. I think I could almost hear a cry.

It am not ashamed of what I did. I am not proud of it, either.

I’ve seen a lot of death since, sometimes related to things I do. I try to not kill people if I can get away with it, but sometimes bad guys are really bad, and sometimes it’s just two people stuck between a rock and a hard place and you are both thinking ‘better you than me’.

It’s a tough world out there. You get used to it.

#drabble #long post #I was just thinking about how ez was a little kid when he first got the gauntlet #and how runaterra is NOT a friendly place #+ he says it so casually #‘We’ll kill some bad guys— hero stuff’#I think the first time a character kills a person should be important

6 notes · View notes