#im gonna have her get a degree i think

[wooldawn]

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims #simblr #maisie ables #just some extras! #im gonna have her get a degree i think #and then open up a bakery #and also have a big garden and become a witch

[soldier-poet-king]

God forgive me I got bored and looked at my tumblr fyp and got blasted with blatant antisemitism AND vaccine conspiracy theories AND anti public school libertarian sentiment

The problem with being religious, specifically christian (i can't speak to if this is a universal experience across faiths, I somehow doubt it), is that I cannot stand the vast majority of my co-religionists, and online it seems that I'm only ever 3 degrees of association away from the most batshit godawful opinions I've ever had the misfortune to read

#franposting #i dont wish evil on anyone #but i think some people would benefit GREATLY from never being on the internet or having access to a public platform again #go join a monastery and engage in good wholesome work and contemplate your actions #and most importantly. stop annoying ME. i am SO ANGRY all the TIME #anyway whining but this is not abt anyone i follow directly or who follows me #so its fine. its 7 degrees of kevin bacon but evil #today is in essence a monday since yesterday was a stat holiday #and i am TOO tired to deal with this on a monday #where im bored out of my mind at work bc boss is STILL away #and i can only generate so much busywork #but my scruples keep me from just. blatantly watching tv on my phone. #im gonna go reas that data bias invisible women book and make myself even more mad #its not even new info to me. some of her examples maybe. but like simone de beauvior was right oh we're really in it now #i havent read the secind sex cover to cover yet only bc i think i will get so angry depressed that I'll never recover #the parts i have read. v good.

[bitegore]

god i really forgot that every business management professor specifically is the most unpleasant human being alive for no good reason. i have two business classes with like econ and accounting professors respectively and those look fine and then oh my god if i have to go back to this class with this professor i think i might actually kill myself

#red rambles #she's not. *mean*. she is. um. fucking. i think condescendiing is the word #she made us do a kahoot in class on questions we didn't know explicitly because she knew we didn't know them. i hate kahoots #she went through the syllabus like we were children which. fine whatever every professor does that it's why i hate the first class #but she also kept going off topic to give us life advice. never give me life advice ill fucking kill you #im really not sure what else was my fucking problem but i genuinely felt like i was being psychologically tortured #also i have done one of the several assignments for the class already and they're babyshit but its going to be one of my most #busywork heavy classes and she wants us doing discussion questions every fucking week #and i have to download yet another fucking app for her class #and i need it for my degree plan but oh my GOD. i need to get the fuck out of it #im gonna try and find a different session of the class taught by a different professor and switch in #do you know how much i have to hate a class if im willing to eat two entire finished homework assignments to get out of it #eta. i take it with this professor or i take it with a different professor i know and already know i cant stand #who is also going to work us like dogs unlike this prof who is going to apparently treat us like we are 14 years old #i guess its not college if i'm not being forced to experience psychological torment for an hour and a half every couple days lol #ill just have to like eat something before that class and do my best to fortify myself before i go in and turn evil

[wizardnuke]

there's a ffic in my head. oouuuag. its Cookin

#domestic little character study of The Bg3 Gang after the everything. in this specific playthrough #tav. grieving karlach and also devastated that astarion can't be out in the sun anymore #more than anything i love Aftermath fics. like who are you once the danger passes #the good and bad things that happen to people when they're no longer constantly in survival mode #it takes a lot longer to actually feel safe. and tavelle has been spearheading this group and still feels so responsible for them #takes her a long time to adjust to not being able to have tabs on anyone and she is SO fucked up about karlach #who tf is astarion when he's de-tadpoled and still spawn. he got to be out in th e sun but not anymore. that's sooo sad #tav can and will trawl thru every enchanter store on the planet until she finds someone who can make like a #sunlight protected item for him #very important for this fic that a) astarion doesn't know that that's what she's up to and #b) is worried about her bc she is clearly up to something and it's also like. visibly upsetting her and #c) when she does finally come up with something she crashes into the room to the degree that he thinks she's being chased or some shit #also this tav is 100% not going to stop adventuring for better or for worse. by adventuring i mean. mercenary work #she's throwing herself into fights still. bc she doesn't know what to do with herself And Specifically to rack up enough money to get #that sun shield thing for astarion #and he will have Words for her abt that #also have an extremely silly idea about the enchanter. very obvious silly idea abt who it is. im gonna name him.. tumas pol

[saltinesinsoup]

aughh man its like. i want to watch something but nothing on youtube is good and everything being recommended to me feels like mindless slop but also i dont feel like there's any good shows out right now that i could watch and i also dont really want to rewatch anything and at its core i think im bored and a little bit creatively unfulfilled

#jaytalking #like gem put out a new hermitcraft and i normally would enjoy it (started watching her this season and its been nice) but i watched the fir #first eight or so minutes maybe less. and i just was like. eh. #i dont know why but its like. i just want to watch something good #really i should rewatch the bear or severance but really i should probably just go read a book. thats probably my issue #or play pokemon bc that will give me a dripfeed of dopamine or w/e. im no brain chemist #also this is gonna sound so lame but we didn't do anything mentally challenging in calc today which was nice. but also its nice for me to #have math that i can do bc genuinely im like. oh im bored? might as well go do some math because its just like doing a puzzle. that rewards #me (green check and points) for being right. #also ive been thinking about maybe getting a degree in math lately. but i dont even know what id do with it. fuckin not statistics #and i dont want to teach or go into academia. really i just want to have fun little puzzles to do because really that's all math has been #and also i want to watch dunmeshi or frieren but also i dont and man. its really just boredom that's the killer #also i had a coffee earlier and i don’t know if that’s also part of this lol. like i got so much stimulation and now it’s warm off im like. #well what now.

[oatbugs]

i feel conflicted abt my relationship...need advice etc . in tags . pls i need input sm

#i love my gf a lot and i think our relationship is doing rly good rn . i miss her a lot bc im in a diff country to her but ill see her #in a few weeks etc. anyway things are good....HOWERVER. i am worried abt . our future #like u are supposed to live in the moment and have fun and be young etc etc but this is like..the fact that its going well #is making me consider how our life paths would go tgth and if it would be fair to stay in a relationship u know wont work forever. like #this was one of the reasons why i felt hesitant at first etc. basically i swore to myself i would only date an academic or at least someone #who like. has. A Thing. that they are working towards that they are rly rly passionate abt. bc i thought it just wouldnt work out otherwise #and it seemed after a while of talking that she IS like that...shes applying for a graphic design degree and she seems to genuinely #love art etc so much and also she is amazing at it. HOWRVER...she hasnt drawn in a while #and is working a min wage job despite meaning to quit for ages...and as far as im aware #she still hasnt made a portfolio...etc etc. but im so confused bc like...shes great and ik she can do it i just dont #understand why she wont. she could also get an internship etc in the relevant field but i still dont get it...and its not my place to be #pushy abt it. like i already suggested these things and asked abt them but i dont want to ask any more bc like. its her choice #what she does w her life etc. but anyway its like...am i being pessimistic/impatient and everything is gonna #go well for her or do i hold genuine concerns. and if the latter/both potentially...is it unfair to be like #hey babe ik things are amazing rn but we have to reevaluate bc idk if in 10 yrs i would be happy w where we are #my friend was like. Break Up W Her from the beginning bc he thinks u shouldn't get into a relationship w smn whom you think will not also #elevate u in some way..and ur life paths dont align etc...but he is genuinely married to his academics like hes sworn off #love so i didnt rly listen bc hes rly extreme w his. love gets in the way of academics. etc #but also his point was valid i think? that you want the person u spend ur life w to elevate you. u want them to challenge you and make you #want to work harder and be better and achieve more and more...and i do want that and i have been trying to be that for them #but A) i can only be that to a reasonable extent for them before it starts being like nagging/being pushy and #B) i feel like if they end up going the way they are rn they can never be that for me. is that bad #like am i a horrible person for thinking this way. obviously i am not casting a moral judgement on her or anyone #for whatever path in life they choose to go down but also is it like...Silly to give up on a perfectly good #relationship bc ur like. as it stands i do not see you walking alongside me in 10 yrs etc #like im lich rally 20 . but what if it DOES end up going rly well and it DOES end up being thr case that we end up staying together #and then im like. feeling discouraged bc my partner in life is just not the kind of person i imagined being w when i was 19 or 20... #like in terms of careers etc. more importantly is this a discussion i should have w her . bc i literally do not know how to raise this #without sounding like a dick but is that bc i...am being a dick? is this a bad thing ?? is this thought not that of a good person ? #it sounds so WEIRD to be like hey babe either u have to start being more ambitious and insane abt ur art or i might break up w you. like :/

[guinevereslancelot]

sitting in a blooming garden would fix me

#flowers WHEN #i have one teeny snowdrop just starting to form a flower 🥲 #worried its going to get killed by the cold front coming in tho #its an early blooming fancy one that honestly probably won't live idk what i was thinking when i bought it #literally nothing else is close to flowering tho #i just get so anxious for spring flowers in january i start blowing money pre ordering stuff tho #i ordered a bunch of snowdrops and some bare root hydrangeas and roses #idek how im gonna plant them the ground is probably frozen and we're about to get a foot of snow #what is wrong with me #the hydrangeas tho were a gift from my mom #i've wanted the white kind for a really long time and i told her one of my friends might get married at our house in the next few years #so she ordered them so they'll have time to establish and we'll have big beautiful white flowers for her wedding #which was really nice of her #anyway my friend was so excited and touched when i offered :') #she's not officially engaged but she's halfway thru her degree and she and her bf are planning to get married soon after they both graduate #so in two or three years the hydrangeas should be pretty well established and nice for a wedding #anyway im off track but im excited for all the stuff i ordered to be beautiful and blooming this summer #less excited to figure out how to plant them 🤔 #the roses are shipping at ideal planting time in april but the hydrangeas are coming this week for some reason #i cant plant those??? in january??? #i will have to try ig #i probably can we'll see #this has been a shitpost

[swallowtail-ageha]

The devastating effects that my anxiety-induced ED left on my body and health and me SHing with needles when i was 15 suddenly leaving me because dafne said that my problems weren't as bad as hers because she got diagnosed with depression and i didn't:

#namedropping her btw i am so fucking tired of her bullshit #you dont get to invalidate me and my trauma and emotionally blackmail me by saying that if i stop accomodating you #by saying 'oooh you're doing so well it's never your fault' you're gonna commit suicide #jesus christ. i am 18. i don't have a psychology degree and i don't want to ruin my already fleeting stability #to help a person who functionally was never there for me when i was at the bottom of the barrel #and like. just because you aren't diagnosed doesnt mean you arent suffering. im probably never going to a psychiatrist #until i do something extreme because my parents are the classical italian conservatives that think of therapy as a get out scot free card #and i already have trauma regarding psychiatry #but i have issues. i have massive fucking issues and i had suicidal thoughts even before i left kindergarten because my early childhood #was fucking awful! i am pretty much emotionally numb to most of the things around me because i had to force myself to be like that #to not have daily mental breakdowns! #but of course you won't know because i have never been a fucking friend to you@ #for all the five years of our 'friendship' i was only the girl who you only approached to use as a psychologist #i have never been a person to you!

[arthur-r]

emily wilson out here translating the iliad and i am once again wishing i knew how to read and translate ancient greek

#listen where there’s a will there’s a way but i just finished my degree audit and looks like i will only be able to manage a classics minor #with latin emphasis (unless i abandon latin for greek which i’m not going to do even though it pains me) #but i really want to make my own iliad someday…. #at this rate i’ll only ever end up making a queer prose adaptation and be criticized for projecting modern notions of sexuality onto a #completely different set of values and social understandings of homosexuality…. #(which. if anything there should be more gay people in the song of achilles. don’t be mean to me i promise i understand ancients) #anyway i might just have to make a book of poetry or a novel adaptation or whatever whatever but what if i want to learn the script #and painstakingly translate every single word through years and years of dedication. while also being a librarian as my main thing #shdhdhdf i’m never gonna be classics scholar enough to professionally translate. and if i were it would be latin. but i can dream…. #anyway i’m no longer failing my french class (have a 70% that should only be going up) but i’m still failing historical linguistics #my latin grade is great i’m acing it but my library science class is a D (which should be fixed in two days though — just needs more data) #so i am giving myself permission to sleep early tonight and go into class well rested for once. i’m not feeling well but that’s a constant #anyways if anyone reads the wilson iliad let me know!! i’m a fake fan of her work and haven’t read her odyssey (something about the iliad…. #there’s a brutality and a raw humanity to it that puts the odyssey at a lower priority to me) but im so freaking excited to read her iliad #i have to prioritize schoolwork but soon. i’ll have to ask my latin teacher about it tomorrow though she’s an iliad enjoyer #anyway good news i think i’ll be able to get a history major with certificates in digital studies and classical studies (the two genders….) #and graduate comfortably in four years with honors in the major. this is ignoring how i’m failing my classes. i promise i won’t be forever #anyways the point is: wilson’s iliad — i will read it as soon as possible and i’m very excited #also i checked out a book from the library called the lexicographers dilemma: the evolution of proper english from shakespeare to south park #but i haven’t had the chance to read it and soon it will be due…. college is evil i’m too busy learning things to learn other things!!!! #anyway if i do honors in the major then i’m excited to eventually earn credit from a capstone thesis which i would do on lexicography #throughout history with an emphasis on classification systems and basically peter mark roget #ok anyway. wandering all over the place but the point is. wilson’s iliad. very exciting. can’t wait to find the time #and eventually i will write an iliad adaptation of my own i will. just not a full translation shdhdf that’s an unrealistic goal #especially when again. my capstone project is going to be about taxonomy of ideas. ancient epics are secondary…. #anyway i hope everybody is doing well!! i am going to bed soon-ish but other than that i am around so lmk if you need anything #me. my post. mine. #college talk #delete later

[godofsmallthings]

i will never stop being insane about invisible string

#time mystical time gave me the blues and then purple pink skies... #gold was the color of the leaves when i showed you around centennial park / hell was the journey but it brought me heaven!!!! #the most hopeful song on folklore #it's a moment of much needed levity on that album #idk and it being a thematic callback to 'if you never bleed you're never gonna grow' is just everything to me #idk im just thinking about how 20 years ago i was literally a baby and how this girl was moving to a city to pursue music #and how we are so different and the only reason our paths have crossed was because of art. and how tender it is #that i can walk the same paths as her and have them mean something to me too because my own dreams and journey led me here #and how i probably would not be here at all if i hadn't loved her art so deeply #ANYWAY retconning invisible string to be about the fans could've worked!!!!!!@@ #imagine if i was less of a swiftie and was getting an english degree rn or something #like i'm fundamentally who i am as a person because of this idk dbskdjsjdjdjd #vi is typing...

[stinkrascal]

hiiiiiii <3 how are we doing? how are the straud kids doing?

hiiiiiiiii im doin ok, how are you bby? <3 the straud kids are great!! idk when im gonna post the straud legacy again, i really really really want to post the vlad/brie backstory reprisal before i pick up the straud legacy so tbh i havent seen them in so long, i miss my pixel people :-( but in my head im certain theyre living their best lives!! i have so many story ideas that i wanna execute it's so crazy my mind is a jumbled mess of silly vampires lol

#jade answers #itsmariejanel #oh im about to ramble SO HARD in the tags you dont even know #lucien and bonnie are gonna have a baby very soon i decided because bonnie has been pregnant for TWO REAL LIFE YEARS #even though it's only been a few months for them in the story D: so straud grandbabies soon ahhhh im not ready!! #gen is still a misogynist who's terrified to come out to his parents but they'll come around #carlile is still sick with an Unknown Illness... but he'll feel better one day! he just has to feel worse first :'( #nikolai is studying hard at school! making friends! learning about literature and whatever! #klaus is still struggling to make new friends but he'll make them sooner than he thinks!! all the while developing his musical skills <3 #anastasia is an indecisive queen who cannot decide what aesthetic she likes or who she's into. but that's ok! libra queen! #ilya will explore their identity has they get older! and also steal their mother's lighters and attempt to start fires. arsonist icon <3 #maybe the strauds will have more babies idk i have to decide how bored vlad and brie are #brie wants to GO TO SCHOOL! and be EDUCATED! so idk if she'll wanna have more kids at the moment #maybe afterwards though. she can get her degree and then be like heyyyy vladdyyyyyyy ;)))) #idk i have so many plans for the straud legacy i think it's going in a direction i'm really satisfied with!! #especially regarding anastasia/caspian/vaughn/wolfgang ugh it sounds like a love square but i promise it isn't lol #i'm really satisfied with their arcs. especially caspian and wolfgang. i think it's going to go in a good direction #i can't wait for u guys to see it in a thousand years when i finally start posting again <3 #but first i feel like i need to establish things in the vlad/brie backstory reprisal #mainly having to do with vlad/brie's mental health. bc there are characters with the same diagnoses as them #and they help those characters come to terms with their diagnoses #there's also general worldbuilding stuff that i want to better establish in the reprisal that i feel would be beneficial for my legacy too #there's so many stuff and things to do!! and i only have two hands!!!! #but i promise i am constantly working on new story stuff ok? if you read this far i am very impressed lol ily <3

[pepprs]

“going” “on” “a” “walk” “with” “redacted” “today” 🫣

#purrs #it’s supposed to be 90 degrees and thunderstorming LMAOOOOO so let’s hope it won’t be for everyone’s sake but also im so anxious i feel like #im going to pass out. this is the first walk we’re taking since fucking 2018 and the first time ive talked to her just personally abt things #that don’t necessarily have to do with work since 2019 😭😭😭😭😭😭 so it’s gonna be a lot and ihave no idea what to say and i spent all weekend #trying not to think abt it bc i cry every time i do bc literally this is the next to last time i am ever guaranteed to see or interact w her #ever again and that kind of makes me want to…. well. idk. it’s just so so so so so fucking bad. and im panicking abt a gift for her like i #know im gonna paint her something but idk what and i also want to like buy something for her but idk what to get and we haven’t made any #plans for her goodbye party thing which is kinda my fault bc i cried / got deeply depressed every time i tried to work on it LOLLLLL. so idk #how that’s gonna happen bc we’ll all be in person today. idk. passing out rn. im so fucking scared lollll #i have such a bad habit of doing everything in my power to distract myself from processing loss / distance / whatever atp and then having to #confront it later and being completely unprepared and fucking up LOL. so i rly need to get my shit together and fast

[lightningfilledsaber]

I can and will make everything about being trans

#mud rambles #thinking abt the tags i put in my last reblog #the concept has been heavily on my mind lately as I just started hormones last week #ive already cut off a lot of my family for being transphobic to me (and for being racist but thats beside the point) #but even with the family i do still have in my life. it's gonna be a big adjustment preiod because i Know theyre still pretending im a girl #all to different degrees but thats something you can feel. and also i found out last month that my mother has my deadname as #my contact number in her phone. after she's bragged to me about having told one of the family members I've cut off how ~easy it is~ to #call me by my correct name #so that combined with my incestual abuser having tried to convince me that i shouldn't medically transition because id no longer be #attractive. it's terrifying to me. it's bringing up these feelings I'd pushed away because i think in the back of my mind i never thought #that i would actually get this far despite all the effort and struggle ive been putting into finally getting to this point #im terrified the very few people i have in my life rn arent going to love me anymore #and i KNOW my partner and my remaining friends are going to be here and stay it's so hard to believe it #especially with obviously all the previous shit i mentioned but with having cut off my literal best friend of 7 fucking years not even a #year ago. because they no longer loved me after i fucking stood up for myself. it's hard #it's hard to trust again and to KEEP trusting the people in my life #idk idk like i said this has been hard for me #im genuinely the happiest ive been in my adult life but it's bittersweet because of everything ive been through to get here #ask to tag #oversharing #abuse mention #abuse ment #mm also... replies are okay but please dont reblog just in case bc tags are now public on posts LMAO

[3am-cheerios]

campus friend mentioned going to stl to see beetlejuice today. meghan was major jelly. it's her golden bday this week. so guess who now has beetlejuice tix for wednesday lol

#now i just really wanna see hadestown #and i HAVE to see lion king again #but yeah twas really spontaneous and shes super stoked #im gonna get her that show time hoodie #omg we gotta figure out what to wear #AND im doing a pronouns day table that day on campus #also i think im changing my degree lol #not major tho. but do an aa or gecc instead of aas #and do the rest of my acct classes at u of i #anyway. FUN! #kt gets edumacated

[be-good-to-bugs]

well. back to the horrors

#the bin #ugh i hate hqving to work so much everyday #well. i had around 700 left over from last month which shoukd help with the cost of uberinv yomwork everyday now #might try the bus bc apparently they changed it and it runs earlier now but idk. im gonna talk 2.my boss and ask if i get there early or #late if thats ok. to a reasonable degree obv. i think he will say yes considering its cause my sister was in a car accident but idk 4 sure #once again didnt switch my sleeping over bc im a sleepy bug #FINALLY got the electric bill yesterday. havent got the water yet but itll prob b here soon #so i know now around how much theyll be. electric is usually more expensive than water too so #next month electric will prob be more bc of heat lamps always on for tha girlies but it should still not be terrible #i prepared myself for electric and water to be 300 total. i knew itd be less but i wanted to make sure i was prepared for it being a lot #now that i know how much ill need for that stuff each month i can tell how much i have to spend on fun stuff #probably gonna try getting a bunch of beads as my next thing bc i miss making kandi #getting so tired of my 1 coworker. she usually doesnt do my job anymore but when she does she makes a total mess and makes my life #so much harder. she also takes so long and spends sp much time just on her phone or talking to people and not working #which like. would be whatever except it makes the lives of 5 other people harder. me and the 4 other people in this department need things #to keep moving. not someone taking up a whole cart for 20 minutes and making a mess of the shelves #that makes it harder for me to put stuff away in a way that isnt precarious and it makes the morning suck bc everyone has to fix her mess #and its not that she doesnt know how. she does. shes worked her for 5 years. ive SEEN her do it properly. shes just lazy #i know its not 'cool' or whatever to take ur job seriously but i do. and i dont care if other people dont unless it makes my life harder

[kyomito]

i love it when my day starts with:

you have one task today. one thing to do, all day to do it. just that for today along with other normal things like eating and showering.

and then my brain is like:

funny. and what if I said we are doing none of that. matter fact, we are going to do none of that and LESS.

#i am just overwhelmed #to the point where the anxiety doesn’t even fester anymore. i just want everything to stop temporarily #like three months to just do nothing but sleep #i feel like a failure and im not sure if I don’t acknowledge it bc I don’t believe it or because being in denial is easier to cope with #idk I love my life but sometimes I wish it was different #it’s about to be 4am and I just feel sad and overwhelmed and unaccomplished compared to my peers #also I feel like I don’t have a true… support system? #like I have support in terms of my mom let’s me stay w her while I get my degree but idk… emotionally I am completely by myself #and I have been since I was 11 years old #I also feel like every little thing I do that benefits just myself is selfish and my brain makes me feel like the worst person in the world #… #idk #I was about to say I miss having friends I could talk to abt these things but I never really had that either #I’ve missed the last three days of class and I’m pondering on what a fourth would do for myself #also I’m transferring schools after this summer and the whole process has been giving me a headache but I’m mostly a first gen so I am doing #all of this completely alone #I hate everything #I completely understand why people become addicted to drugs that cause you to go numb this shit fucking sucks #i think I’m just gonna try and sleep