#im finally feeling caught up

[moonlightpirate]

I'm sorry I'm such a slacker for updates on my fics. This month has been a tough one and I swear my creative energy has like died. But I'm hoping since the next few days I don't have to be up early and don't have much going on in serious due dates that I'll be able to get something out

#had an essay due #have had lots of negative energy around me #which has been draining #ive been working a lot #and a lot of early hours #and it seems no amount of sleep is helping with those #along with the essay ive had so much schoolwork due #i feel ive been running to catch up #im finally feeling caught up #just need the creative energy to catch up #and its trying #typed some for my far from the madding crowd fic last night #got some inspo for the witcher #so getting there #slowly

[crystallizsch]

*kicks down door* ehehehe it's luxe couture yuusha and rabbitwear yuuna :3

#IM FINALLY DONE WITH BOTH OF THEM RAHHHH #i love designing outfits so much #even if sometimes it doesnt make sense how it would work hgsjdkskl #this just took me a while bc i got caught up with other things 💀 #also drawing outfits is one thing #but choosing colors is another #i am SO indecisive with colors #but im pretty happy with how this turned out???? #we'll see how i feel in the morning o7 #[— #twst #twisted wonderland #twst art #twst yuu #twst yuusona #twst grim #tapis rouge #white rabbit festival #(💜) yuusha #(💜) ramshackle duo #(🩷) yuuna #★ my art #—] #also also this reminds me i need to redo their intro posts hfdnsnhsh #theyre gonna have two separate ones this time instead of being only one post

[noxious-fennec]

C!Q + vylette's fit from Jawbreaker

(aka an idea I've had for every conceivable holiday for months and decidedly couldn't put out on an appropriate date)

#i feel a little off posting this during such a time of distress but my own misery wont help others so I'm doing it anyway #also hi!!! I've been offline a lot but after much stress and a week being mildly mistreated at the hospital i finally know what's wrong!! #PM/SSc overlap syndrome you can look it up. they caught it early tho so none of my connective tissue is damaged #nor do i have any major systemic effects so yay. im taking meds for it and im praying for the best #anyway enough of my life hi folks this is the first thing ive drawn in MONTHS sry im rusty #sidenote in light of the tumblr panic never hesitate talking to me about anything I'd love it im just socially anxious #anyway i love yall hope yall enjoy <3 I'll leave yall now xoxo #my art #dsmp fanart #cquackity #fennec.art

[sonknuxadow]

this is probably an unpopular opinion with the amount of "everyone is married with kids" type future aus people make for sonic characters but i cannot see sonic getting married or having a kid ever. if he did somehow end up with a kid hed be the worlds first transmasc absent father or however the joke goes

#i can only see sonic with a kid if its some random kid he accidentally adopted or whatever #and if he had a partner whatever they have going on probably wouldnt fit the typical idea of how having a partner works at all #i dont think sonic is a very romantic guy to be honest. and being in a serious relationship or ''settling down'' wouldnt be for him #i guess you could argue his feelings towards that sort of stuff could change once hes an adult #but i kinda. dont like. the idea of him suddenly becoming interested in romance and wanting to settle down #as a sign hes ''finally grown up'' or whatever. because lack of interest in romance isnt an immature trait you have to grow out of #some people never want that sort of thing and thats fine #anyway i dont hate fankids to be clear i think theyre fun in concept . like from a design standpoint #taking traits from characters you like to make a new guy out of it is fun #i just cannot imagine those things ever actually happening does that make sense #actually while im at it i dont think rouge would want kids at all either . people want her to be motherly so bad but she just is not #she is the cool older sister figure who teaches you how to steal from the pin container at hot topic without getting caught. not a mom

[kyyuuuy]

no acesan this time, sorry guys...

#my food #one piece #izou one piece #bartolomeo #red haired shanks #dracule mihawk #mishanks #technically.... #fucking finally finished marineford after like 5 months #i feel like im caught up with how much i already have known about op but im only on ep 497 LMFAO #the barto was drawn probably 3 weeks ago when i first got my ipad LOL #it was the same day as some of my acesan drawings Unimportant detail idc

[shittopi]

#revolutionary girl utena #anthy himemiya #my art #drawing like this is fun but i pprroobbably wouldnt be able to like...sell commissions in this style.idk #at the very least the usual process of: initial sketch->payment->finish drawing wouldnt work because #i change my mind abt how i want it to look waaayyyyy too much #to the point where the initial sketch is likeeeeee borderline misleading #do u know wat i mean #also just not generally sure how messy i would be able to leave the final ver #like am i making an artistic choice or will it come across as rushed to the commissioner #anyway #oh right im caught up with commissions finally lolll yey #i feel like im going2 need more time to decide art style when it comes to commissions #in terms of proportions in terms of color in terms of exaggeration etc etc #what i would like #what would stand out #idk

[muninnhuginn]

shima says all this stuff that at face value can seem like good advice ("don't get too hung up on decisions" etc) or does things that make it seem like he doesn't really care (him bunking off school, not interfering when mitsumi is being mocked in front of him). and it means he gives off this chill vibe on a surface level.

but when you understand the underlying reason why he thinks this way it becomes incredibly obvious that these words and actions are more an expression of how unhealthy his mental state is?

he's actively telling himself that stuff doesn't matter because when he *has* let them matter in his head, that's what led to the whole acting-mum-ririka scenarios. so, school doesn't really matter. theatre? he's done with that. it doesn't matter that he once "loved" acting when all he has now is a broken relationship with his mum and bad associations. much easier to not care.

it's a mix of what he tells himself and what he genuinely believes at this point. he's so conflict-avoidant that he pre-empts any possible tensions by being deliberately passive and prioritising (his perception of) others' feelings above himself. his very choice to agree to date mitsumi was a mix of his own unrecognised feelings towards her (which is why he jumped the gun when mitsumi hadn't even properly *asked*) and the idea that mitsumi liked him so he could do this for her and maybe it wouldn't be so bad. he's trying to pacify his idea of mitsumi's feelings without actually examining his own.

and at the same time, for someone so image-conscious, he has zero idea of the red flags he gives off sometimes. his perspective of love being that between a 'person' and a 'lover' it would be the 'person' you 'like' more being the most extreme example. he plain doesn't realise that his approach is atypical and so he doesn't realise he needs to 'counter' it in his image management. when people make fun of mitsumi in front of him he chooses the route he believes will lead to the least tension and is genuinely surprised when mitsumi *doesn't* want to prioritise group harmony above herself.

he's pushed his own feelings down until he no longer understands himself and it actively affects how he reads other people too. generally speaking, he *is* good at reading the social mood, but more specifically, he's good at figuring out *how to placate people*. there's a reason he's so popular. but he keeps individuals at a distance deliberately. most of the people he's closer to and/or more honest with are those who have known him from his acting days, before he started pushing people away. and when he's interacting one-to-one with people who actually know him like mukai? that's when the cracks start to show and the whole illusion breaks down.

#im not going anywhere with this. he's just. a mystery. #and I've not even started on how his avoidance/passiveness verges on selfish at times bc he's so focused trying to maintain peace #that he misses when he's hurting ppl. mitsumi the obvious one but also his whole dynamic w/ ririka. he's so caught up feeling guilty #that he just ends up feeding into ririka's idea that neither of them can be happy. ririka herself is only able to make progress when #shima finally puts his foot down and says he won't do this anymore. he'll let himself live. #skip to loafer #skip and loafer #stl manga spoilers

[uninter3sting]

2014 -> 2024 Redraw of one of my oldest ocs and his cat I almost forgot about over the years :')

[pretty little psycho nightcore playing in the distance]

#this makes me so happy to look at #skie #my oc #im finally getting caught up on commissions n stuff too feels good #last year was just neverending bs but things are looking up slightly #my art #uninter3sting art #xanadu #rbs appreciated

[jaypilled]

i did it yall. i made a squirebot oc.

this is TAB-i, aka just tabi. they're izzy and fletch's robotics class final project that at first just didn't turn on because they did such a shitty job, so in an act of desperation fletch used magic to give it a conscience so ava (their teacher) wouldn't fail them. and since fletch is shit at magic instead of giving it a normal squirebot-like conscience he gave it a cat conscience by accident! initially, they were given a good grade for giving their squirebot such a responsive and lovable personality, once they were done being graded they found that they just. couldn't turn them off. ava quickly found out that they cheated with magic and gave them a D-. she was very impressed with how they combined tech and magic, but unfortunately it still counts as. Cheating. anyways! since they couldn't just turn off tabi they kept them around the academy (originally to hunt mice but they quickly found out they only hunt computer mice) as like a class pet. they don't speak, but they do meow and purr like an overheating ps4!

#i finally gave in to the squirebot oc army sorry if this is similar to anyone else's im not caught up on everyone's ocs #its pronouns are it/they/any meaning mainly it/they but he/she isn't misgendering them yknow #feel free to rb/comment/send an ask with questions about them i need to expand on them more #ALSO FEEL FREE TO DRAW THEM GIGGLES #nexo knights oc #squirebot #squirebot oc #nexo knights squirebot #nexo knights #I ALSO HAVE TWO MORE NK OCS THAT IM PLANNING ON POSTING SOON SMILE #jay art

[strangerhands]

mmmmm heyyy👁️. ive basically been gone from tumblr for over two days because ive been feeling like a shitty piece of shit. BUT. i finally saw dune part 2 and ohmygoddddd it was so so good. but yes. i was missing leto so bad the entire time. Father come back pls. i need you.

#it was so good tho #like so cool i was internally freaking out about how cool things looked #the fight scenes🤌 #the environments/settings🤌 #all of the fuckin machinery🤌 #the acting🤌 #the everything🤌 #yum #also i dont find austin butler attractive but funnily enough feyd was the only time ive found him hot😭 yes i have issues. but like. okayyy.. #i watched it alone and i wish doing things alone wasnt seen as such a weird or sad thing like. theres nothing wrong with it #sorta vent-> #but basically ive been feeling like an annoying piece of shit so ive been staying off of here for the most part #because ive been convincing myself no one likes me and everyone in my life would be better off without me😝😝 #just tee bee ehch #and idk i was just feeling like ass and was doing nothing and when i finally would go to use tumblr i was already too tired to do shit #so i just went to sleep #and i was busy today #yesterday* #and ill probably be a bit busy today too but idk maybe hopefully ill catch up a bit #idk ya boys just been hating himself like usual but not as usual bc it was worse but it is what it is #i felt a bit better yesterday though #and also my new antidepressants ive been on havent been doing shit for me so im going back to a previous one i used to be on so yea #hopefully that helps soonish idk #i never vent on here so i feel kinda bad for doing so but i just wanted to puke my thoughts here #also since im already here complaining ive just like. not written at allllllll basically like i got into my head and made myself discouraged #so. that sucks. but also nothing out of the ordinary there #why does Everything i say sound so embarrassingly depressing and pathetic hhhhhhhgggggggggggggghhhghghg #anyways yea i was doing bad im still not doing good but hopefully will be a bit better so ill be back and caught up later today or tomorrow #idk if anyone gave a fuck or noticed but i just like complaining into the void so yea #talkin shit

[belphieslilcow]

fuck wait i forgot the last nb event was like a dream thing was it belphie centric fuck

#if i think about it too long i'll get overwhelmed and have a meltdown so i shant #hopefully #but uhh idk for sure cause i Didn;t Log In #i havent properly played in forever cause #im so far behind in terms of the story #like i think im still on asmo's part?? #maybe? #the power creep is just so fucking awful in nightbringer #or whatever the term would be #you need stupid high level cards in every type to even pass the ruri tunes levels #and it's so frustrating cause ruri tunes isn't hard in the slightest especially on normal it's actually frustratingly easy #because of how slow it is #but i have to use so many support items just to literally get a c at the last note #so i can finally read things #and idk it just makes me feel bad that i'm not caught up (it makes him feel like a failure) #so i get into the loop of feeling bad cause im far behind and then i dont play but then i cant make progress and the story continues which #means im even FURTHER behind #ohh i think i got it i think i scrounged in my brain i think i feel left out (has issues with that)

[nose-coffee]

it's Being So So Normal About Kiriona Gaia Hours

#tlt #the locked tomb #fuck off lou #my post #kiriona gaia #she came out to have a good time and she's honestly feeling like the saddest girl in the whole entire world right now #idk im caught up in the unparalleled tragedy of her postions again #finally has everything she ever wanted except she doesnt because she's very very dead and very very unhappy #and the only fucking person she wants to actually talk about it with doesnt seem to give a fuck #and did everything she could to actually fully forget that she even existed #and she's STILL TRYING TO GET HARROW BACK #even after all of the bullshit she's still TRYING TO GET HER BACK #im fucking terrified about what's gonna happen to her in atn #also all the art of her is so hot and im so upset but she is also so hot it's a really weird mix

[widevibratobitch]

omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee

#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time #and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again #have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind #ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her #that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right #to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel #that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists. #so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week #and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨ #like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes #'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly. #ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol' #like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like #i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying #a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again #because im not texting back. #i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too. #I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it #i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao #oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour #pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA

[seariii]

I need a little pick me up *stares at the food app* but everything is so expensive....

#i took a shower i watched some videos and checked up and... now i feel so exhausted... #i guess it finally caught up with me... i havent really even interacted much... wish i... nono its okay. i did a lot #i want something cold and sweet... i want chocolate but tapioca is too expensive and i dont have something to make the drink with.... #and we dont have enough sugar to make the pearls anyways.... #i am scared of friday... im scared of Thursday night.... im scared of the future... *gets notification* #... hey at least people are happy... thats nice... people are happy and living in the present. im so proud of them #if you read till here i have a small plastic brain do you wanna see it? #im emotionally okay im just really tired a tapioca or something like a smoothie could help but everythings too expensive... #seari talks

[lildoodlecat]

h

#ive been finally trying meds for my adhd and i think current one is working but #if im not super productive every day i feel bad #bc this is supposed to help #but idk what's a reasonable amount of productivity when it's finals and ive been rawdogging life up to this point #are the meds actually helping or am i just experiencing adhd stress response. who knows!!! #are they not working or am i burned out!! who knows!!!!!!!!! #i did just finish being extremely fucking stressed and working all day every day to stay caught up #so maybe i deserved to do fuck all this last weekend #but it feelsbad #idk im doing so much different from usual i cant tell if thats bc of the meds or if it wouldve gone like this anyway #man. #i feel like it's making me change plans unexpectedly more and it's fucking me up #or mahbe im just doing that #idk. ill see how i am after finals #there's too much to do and im way too small i wish i could just nap and read and play games for a bit #but my ps3 is still dead and i cant replace it until june or later probably #i have other games but i wanna play tales #and finish the sotc playthrough i was in the middle of #also i still have finals #;-;

[meimeikyu]

i should do classwork but alas. no

#i dont know what im doingggg n its stressing me out n i really dont wanna #but i also feel bad bcs im not doing it yknow #but also #ive been working on my science final for over a month n then it didnt fucking work so i had to scrap it all and restart (a 2 month project- #(-with about a week for me to do it) #n i have like 3 other science things due too #then i have an ela final due in a month #plus 3 social studies things n i fucking hate ss #literally the only thing im caught up on is math!! n its bcs we only do quizzes n honestly? thank the stars for that #i dont mind math mostly #im suffering god someone help #(overdramatic but also genuine) #school work #school stuff