#im being serious here im not trying to beat down on this. i genuinely cannot see a way. with the last few seasons setting things up the way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

notnctu · 3 years

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backseat chronicles - n.jm | ridin’ club

━ welcome to the ridin’ club smut series

genre ➠ slow burn, smut, fluff, lil angst wordcount ➠ 8.5k details ➠ fem!reader, streetracer!jaemin, badboy!jaemin, college!au ━ where Jaemin brings you to his club races as his arm candy. warnings ➠ explicit language, overstimulation, flirty banter, pet names, softdom!jaemin, car sex, praise kink, hittin it raw (y/n on the pill), oral, daddy kink, slight corruption kink, fingering synopsis ➠ There is no reasonable explanation as to why or how you always end up in the backseat of Na Jaemin’s beloved car. Almost routinely, he picks you up around ten in the evening with the stereo blasting the raunchiest lyrics for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. The entire night remains purely friendly, a dabble of flirtatious comments because well, it’s Jaemin for fuck sakes. But all it takes is one suggestive gaze from his dark, lustful eyes and a drop in his voice that rumbles your core to have you climbing over the seats to get to the back. taglist ➠ @rabbit-doyochi ; @darkneogotmyback ; @im-lame-irl ; @p-mini ; @niniluvsmarkhyuck ; @saniahmichael ; @jaehy9ngs ; @danyxthirstae01 ; @jaehyunoos ; @pikijaemin ; @suhweo ; @yunoyeol ; @lanadreamie ; @ta3ilmoon ;

a/n ➠ hi yall its author doie❀!! thank you for over 1k notes on this series, im beyond impressed by the amount of attention this got! it really blew up and its so crazy!! i wrote this one with more of a romantic plotline i realized its too hard to keep it pwp with all the story building and characterization i have :)) it’s almost over yall! pls pls leave me feedback im sorry it took so long to write ):

While college lecture rooms are too big to interact with other students, discussion classes are there to ease the difficulty. A classroom for about twenty students from a three hundred person lecture. It’s administered by a clueless TA, who barely began his second term in graduate school.

Unlike lecture, attendance is mandatory for participation points. You show up every time without a fail, so it came as a shock to you when a certain blue haired student finally appeared from the list of absent students.

Na Jaemin. The notorious playboy with looks that kill and partakes in some illegal racing club. It’s as if every person in the room fawns over his aura, Jaemin drips with an inexplicable alluring confidence. You didn’t know anything about him besides the fact that he never shows up for class and rumors about how he’s slept with the entire cheer squad.

But he’s drawn to you like a magnet: always sitting in the available spot next to you, asking about your day before the TA arrives, developing an odd staring problem. You don’t feed much into his attention, minding your own business when he starts with his notably flirtatious greeting.

“You just take my breath away, (Y/N).” Jaemin cocks back in his seat with legs stretched wide in an overly comfortable manner. The smug smirk on his face cannot be ignored, he’s doing the absolute most to get you to pay the smallest attention to him.

“I didn’t do anything in particular to do that, Jaemin.” You respond bitterly, pulling out your notes for today’s discussion class. The TA enjoys wasting the first twenty minutes going over the past lecture slides and running through the most obvious topics.

You pay no mind to Jaemin peering over at you with the single handedly most dreamy eyes and smile --- stars shining in his dark orbs and a dazzling twinkle in his wide toothy grin.

“That’s why you’re so amazing. You do nothing and it still leaves me breathless.” His sneaky eyes examine your clothing choice for the long day. On this warm afternoon, the short tank top does nothing to hide much of your skin and the denim shorts that ride up a little too well drive Jaemin insane. And when you cross your legs together, he swallows the spit that pools in the back of his throat.

Your ears catch onto the murmurs of the rest of the class, the midterm is next week. The wretched midterm that is half of your grade dooms you, it is going to take an endless amount of completely undistracted dedicated hours of study--- “On a more serious note, can you help me with this class?”

His voice shatters your inner panic, if anything, adds to the stress that already beats down on your shoulders. You look up to glare at him, but you’re entirely taken aback by the new styling of his hair and the exposure of his tattoos.

The sweet blue cotton candied strands are ruffled lazily above his brows, messy from him constantly running his hand through them. Jaemin sits relaxed in gray sweatpants that are extremely baggy on his slender figure, hands are shoved casually into the pockets.

But what has you staring for longer is the long sleeve of tattoos that wrap around his left arm. Not that you’re surprised that Jaemin has tattoos, let alone a whole sleeve, but this is your first time seeing it as this is the first time he’s come to class without his leather jacket on. Something about the intricate lines and shadowing make Jaemin seem much cooler, almost more attractive.

When you meet his eyes, his lips curl slowly into a sly side smile and he’s practically eating you up under his gaze. He definitely knew that you were staring and what comes next out of his mouth will haunt you for it. “Like what you see, beautiful?”

“I don’t have the time to help you.” The best way out of this situation is to simply ignore it. Jaemin is overly adored and admired by many, he’ll find someone else to help him.

“Jaemin, do you want to study together?” There you go, folks. The random girl snickers with her small huddle of friends in the upper corner of the room, like a crowd of crows, they’re all waiting around for Jaemin to accept her offer so he can be easily integrated into their little group.

However, you watch how his glances bounce between you and her. The most sickly sweet, kind smile is almost too fake to consider it to be genuine. His final choice surprises you, “thank you for offering, but I only want (Y/N)...”

Your breath hitches and gets caught in your throat as you hope for him to finish his sentence, the drumming of your heart distracting you even more. Jaemin wants you? While the thought is flattering, it puzzles you greatly.

“... to help me with my studies.” Jaemin finishes his sentence after a rather long pause, his eyes finally resting upon your figure shying away and finding any way to seem uninterested in the conversation. “Is that going to be okay, (Y/N)?”

“What do I get out of it?” You can’t believe that you are actually considering it. But this is a man that only wants you to help him. Jaemin is an impossible, yet charming man and whatever comfortable attire he is wearing today is really aiding in his request.

He lights up, ears perked up and eyes attentive. His hands fold together on the empty desk, leaning forward towards you. “Dates with me.”

Rolling your eyes, you groan slightly at the arrogant answer. “I don’t care about that. I want something that benefits me.”

“I’ll make sure you’re well fed.” There is a tiny plea in his tone, a remarkable shift from his cool aura. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you.”

“I guess I can’t turn down free food…” there is a hang in your sentence as you contemplate what chaos you’re about to dive into and what life changes are about to be explored with Jaemin.

“Before you agree,” Jaemin chuckles, “there’s one more thing I’d like you to do for me.”

You’re quick to shoot a daggering glare at the overly enthusiastic boy, “why do I suddenly owe you favors?”

“Because I say so.” He deadpans, a chill running down your spine at the deep dip in his octave. The playfulness that was present all this time suddenly vanished, a serious look that intimidates you, but sexy enough to where it erupts something in your core. He blinks at you with dark clouded eyes and you nervously anticipate what he is going to ask next of you.

“Accompany me to my races.” He speaks lowly as if he’s afraid of someone else eavesdropping in the conversation.

Here’s your issue with that request: you’ve never really been part of that scene. You’ve lived pretty mundanely, even in college. It’s simple, you like to stay within the boundaries of what you enjoy to do and what you have to do. But you’re always open minded and willing to try something to determine whether or not you’re fond of it.

Partying and drinking copious amounts of alcohol weren’t your favorite things to do, especially to the point of forgetting your nights. You wanted to remember your nights as much as you do your days. The youth isn’t here for long, why waste them by blacking out in the middle of a large party? Also, whoever said that alcohol goes down smooth is a blatant liar.

Illegal racing could possibly be an extension of people who participate in those things, which is fine, but does place a crippling fear of coming off too boring or unrelatable inside your nervous system. But just because you don’t do those things doesn’t mean that you’re not as cool, right?

Since when was your status based nonsensically on how often you spend your nights in socializing crowds full of sweaty bodies and how much cheap booze you can drink? It had to be all in your head --- you’re just dreading any awkward socializing with people who race cars when it’s absolutely illegal.

“Why me?” It’s a genuine answer, possibly stemming from your insecurities of not being on the same level of charm as Jaemin exudes. You’re not a fool, you’re well aware of the many different people he comes across on campus so, why you?

Jaemin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “why not you? You’re just my type. Hot and smart. Cute and a little shy. The greatest duality, if you ask me.” His words seem so genuine that it has you believing these things about yourself as well.

Nonetheless, you’re taken aback by his observations and his choice of descriptions. “We’ve barely ever talked. How can you say these things so confidently about me?”

Jaemin slightly pulls your chair closer to his own and you yelp in response to the sudden movement and lack of space that separates the two of you. He leans into you, breath hot on your skin and obvious eyes darting between your shocked ones and pretty lips.

“So let’s get to know each other. I can already tell that it’ll just make me fall for you even more.” His finger lightly traces your jaw, stopping at your chin to give it a small lift to meet his focus. Jaemin loves how you squirm underneath his intensity, you’re too cute to let go. “Plus, my boys will love you. I’m sure of it.”

The TA rushes in quickly and is utterly distressed from the traffic that had pushed back his schedule. “Sorry, I’m late everyone.” He rummages through his things to find his notes, but groans to see that the monitor of the computer is off. It’s going to take him another ten minutes to input all his credentials.

But your attention doesn’t stray from Jaemin, especially with his delicate touch at the bottom of your chin. His gentle smile enacts nothing but a soft love, and a peak of interest. Na Jaemin, the one and only. He’s like an adventure waiting to be explored, an open bottle of fun for you to take a sip.

“What would I have to do?” Your voice comes out shaky.

“Just be there as your pretty self.” Jaemin comes off as the type to always have women around him, “you’ll be my lucky charm. For some reason, I always feel better around you.”

The escalation of this conversation is possibly more action you’ve had to handle in the last two years. Jaemin drops your chin and falls back into his own seat with his arms crossed. He is about to turn your life upside down and whether that be a good or bad thing, you don’t mind. You’re excited for the new thrills that come with being by Na Jaemin’s side.

Jaemin’s hot hands lift your shirt quickly, throwing it towards the front seat of his car. His lips return to your soft neck, nibbling at your skin tenderly and with love bites that will remind you of his gentle touches. The streetlamps outside flicker impatiently as you feel the eagerness soaking your panties and he lifts you up to take them off.

“My sweet girl,” his voice is light and airy that it becomes almost lost in the heat of the car. “You’re excited tonight. Did you miss me?” The devilish smirk can be felt upon your collarbones.

“Yes, I haven’t seen you for almost five days.” A peculiar whine settles in your pout and Jaemin’s low growl sends shivers down your spine. The only barrier are his own tight jeans and your hands are fast at unbuckling his belt. Jaemin relaxes back, forearms resting on your soft thighs and watching the neediness in your expression and the speed of your hands. He smiles to himself seeing you this way, wanting him so badly that you can’t wait to get him out of his jeans.

Throughout the two months that you and Jaemin finally became well acquainted, he’s fallen inexplicably into your trance. His friends made it very clear to you that he doesn’t keep the same girl around for more than a few weeks. But he’s brought you to almost every race so far and despite the initial shock of your appearance after the third time, you didn’t let the passing comments phase you.

Why he hasn’t replaced you is unknown and truthfully, there is no reasonable explanation how you always wind up in the backseat of his car by the end of the night. It’s become part of your routine. Jaemin picks you up around ten in the evening with raunchy lyrics blasting out of his personalized car for your entire suburban neighborhood to hear. More often than not, Jaemin has food ready for you to devour and a cozy blanket for your exposed legs.

You’ve learned a bit more about him through your backseat chronicles. Jaemin is possibly one of the only people in your life with a heart bigger than his own body, while also being as carefree as he can. Oddly enough, he cares about you as his friend and as his companion. Not to mention the ridiculous, yet endearing nickname, “Lucky Charm”, that he has coined upon you.

Jaemin has been the best adventure you’ve had in ages. While he takes you on intoxicating thrill rides on the leather of his back seats, every street race has been more than unforgettable. He shares one of the same values as you --- wanting to remember the present. You both know that you’ll remember each other enough for it to transcend into your next lives.

You have him to thank for your youthful experiences, to learn and dive into this new found world of mischief under his care. Jaemin treats you extraordinarily well, he’d never hurt a soul. He showers you in appraisal and carefulness, he’s attentive to your behavior and remembers your favorite things. And he reminds you almost every time you see him that he’s so grateful to have you in his life.

“Have you been touching yourself?” Jaemin’s bold question catches you off guard as it causes your hands to shyly hover over his unzipped jeans. When you glance up at him with soft innocent eyes, as if you’re guilty of a crime and wish to beg for forgiveness, his facial expression is serious and intimidating.

“Continue, baby. You can be honest with me. Daddy isn’t going to punish you if you did.” His tone is sweet and light, but his eyes are dark and piercing. His lips are drawn tightly into a thin line, no curve in sight.

His finger grazes down your cheek gently as he admires your slightly parted lips and the way your eyelashes dance every time you blink. However, his other hand urges you to continue your previous action of getting him out of his restrictive jeans.

You nod, while rubbing his erection through his gray briefs that hug him so tightly. There’s a sharp intake of breath when you pull the waistband of his underwear down and his cock stands against his lower abdomen. “Do you think of me when you do?” His voice gets caught in his throat when you take him in your warm hand.

“Always.” You kiss his jawline and fix your position above his dick. Your slick pussy presses down against his shaft, coating it in your juices and rubbing his tip to your clit for a delicious sensation. Jaemin groans, his gaze dipping between your lower bodies and back to your face.

“My sweet (Y/N) thinks about her daddy fucking her senseless while she touches herself.” Jaemin chuckles darkly, grinding his hips harder against you. There is a shift in the atmosphere as he grips your hips and slowly enters your dripping hole. “That’s cute, baby.”

You hold onto his shoulders as his raw dick fills you to the brim, stretching you out like past nights. Gasps leave your body when he starts pulling all the way out to only have you sink back down. “Daddy, please just fuck me.”

Jaemin picks up his speed, knowing that you have a quiz due at midnight that you scolded him for forgetting earlier. The grip on his shoulders tighten as this man navigates your body all too well. He knows you like the back of his hand, fucking the spot that causes your body to lose control.

One of his favorite sights in the world is the view of your lips parted open with loud whimpers falling effortlessly. Your eyes roll back into your skull as his hips roll deeper into your walls, the tip hitting your sweet spot repeatedly.

“You’re always the best girl for me, aren’t you?” His hand wraps around your neck when you throw your head back, choking you lightly and your walls grip around his shaft. “I know you’re close. Cum on my dick, baby. Be a good girl.”

Jaemin’s tattoos shine under the moonlight when you peer down at him. His hooded eyes are intoxicated by the pure image of your fucked out body and he’s truly in love. “My good girl, come on baby.” He continues to encourage, his other hand giving you a smack on your ass when he drills mercilessly into you.

The familiar bubbling occupy your lower half and the feeling of release unravels all so suddenly. You fall forward, Jaemin lets go of your neck to hold your limp body close to him, your head on his shoulder as your orgasm overtakes you. He grinds his hips into you to prolong your shaking climax, cooing sweet nothings in your ear as his other hand takes a whole handful of ass to squeeze.

He bottoms out, filling you up to the rim to cum deep inside of you. Jaemin moans loudly, his cum spilling all over your walls. You two sit like that until he grows soft, pampering your temples with gentle kisses. Jaemin remembers to take care of you, no matter what.

While you’re in his arms, he reaches for sanitary wipes in the side compartments. He lifts your hips slowly to pull out and you sigh at the emptiness. Gently, he swipes at the dripping cum from your pussy and makes sure that you’re all cleaned up before getting dressed.

“So, you want to tell me why you’ve been MIA for the past five days?” Rolling your eyes, you pull up your panties and fix the last decency of your hair.

“Car meets that are too far for me to take you.” His thumb rubs your chin lovingly and Jaemin’s eyes are so bright and mesmerizing, you find that it’s hard to look him in the eye at times.

“Not because you’ve been hooking up with other girls?” There is a tinge of sarcasm that laces your rhetorical question and though you don’t expect him to give you an actual answer, you take note of his reaction. Jaemin raises an eyebrow, clearing his throat and looking out the window away from you.

“And if I was?” Truthfully, that question hurt you more than your’s hurt him. His hand rests underneath his chin as he patiently waits for your answer. He admires the clear night sky and the rundown abandoned liquor store that stands all by itself.

“What do you want me to say?” Question after question, a stiff tension replaces the sex of the car.

“I’ll take you back now.” Jaemin crawls back to the driver’s seat, completely ignoring your confused figure. He has always been quite like this: going aloof whenever he wants to dodge something. However, it’s been happening more frequently the past times you two have been seeing each other.

The truth is simple, yet entirely complex at the same time. You and Jaemin aren’t dating, despite always going out together and him posessively introducing you to other men. You and Jaemin aren’t dating.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t stop you from growing feelings for him and you can tell that this happens too often for the attractive boy. He can’t have a fuckbuddy that won’t fall head over heels for him. But who could really blame you? Even if all this time Jaemin was pretending that he cared about you, he still pampers you like a princess; he still tells you he does.

But when it comes to discussion about advancing into something more, he hides and grows silent. This has you wondering, maybe this entire thing to him is all sex? And he can’t love you back the way you do.

No one knows his heart, not even himself. He’s never wanted to complicate his life, it’s always been about two things: racing and having fun. There is no easy way to explain it all, the thoughts that flood his mind and heart, so he chooses every way to ignore it. Overall, he’s genuinely lost. You are one source of stability in his life that he isn’t willing to let go, ever. But just because he won’t let you go, doesn’t mean that you won’t take the chance to leave when you’re fed up with him.

This has him wondering, how far can he push before he pushes you too far?

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just walk.” Tonight is unsettling, it usually doesn’t end like this. Jaemin locks the car doors and turns around to reach for your hand. “Jaemin, open the door.”

“I want you to say that you hate when I sleep with other people.” Jaemin confesses all too wildly as his hand lightly squeezes around your wrist. “And I want you to mean it.” He’s only speaking words of truth that haven’t had the time to process in his own thoughts.

“I hate when you sleep with other people.” And you do mean it. You mean it more than anything you’ve ever said to this man. Jaemin just sighs, bringing your wrist to his lips for a lasting kiss.

“Can I drive you home?” Jaemin asks softly, eyes dipping down to the leather seats and avoiding all need for eye contact.

“Yes, Jaemin.” He pulls you back into the passenger seat and drapes the soft blanket over your exposed legs. “Hopefully, I still have time to take my quiz.”

“Can I come inside?” Jaemin coolly turns his marble wheel to reverse out of the parking space, a hand resting on the shoulder of your seat as he does a double take behind him for any pedestrians, even if you two are far out in the middle of nowhere and there isn’t anyone around; Jaemin knows you have the hots for him when he does that specific move.

“What do you mean? You’ve already cum inside.”

It’s the sound of disappointment as his tongue tsks at you and he flicks lightly at your forehead. He steps on the acceleration, revving the annoying engine that roars throughout the peaceful night. The multicolored lights illuminate around his stereo and at your feet, creating the Rainbow Road right out of Mario Kart.

Jaemin isn’t like the others who pay close attention to the details of his car. His motto goes, “if I like it, I’m going to have it.” Whether or not anything matches goes beyond his worries.

In some ways, his car is a mirror of his own personality --- wild and free, colorful and welcoming. And his skills as a driver? Safe, no matter how far the speedometer goes, Jaemin always makes you feel safe.

“I mean come inside your room for aftercare. You know how much I hate leaving you without a proper cuddle.” He pouts and almost immediately his cute baby tone comes out with his beg. Almost subconsciously, Jaemin lays his right palm open facing up to invite yours in. Almost routinely, you lace your hands to complete his hold. Getting Jaemin to smile has never been easier as his hold grows tighter.

“You can’t stay over tonight though. My housemates are doing some Single Girls Only house event tomorrow and it starts immediately when we wake up.” You laugh as the ridiculous words fill the air.

“And you’re participating in that?” Jaemin mindlessly asks and you’re unable to differentiate his implications from the question. Is he asking because the idea is horrendously nothing you’d like to do or he’s implying that you’re not single?

“Why wouldn’t I?” Sounding rather harsher than intended, Jaemin finally realizes how poorly he had worded his previous question. Yet, a part of him feels disappointment whirling in his chest and a desire to feel wanted by you.

“Doesn’t seem like something you’d like: wallowing in your singleness.” He chuckles, remaining lighthearted and playful.

“I really don’t.” Jaemin brings your knuckles up to his lips for a lingering kiss, his eyes darting quickly on the road ahead now that you’ve entered the metropolitan areas and his speed drops significantly to avoid getting ticketed.

“I’ll come pick you up. Instead of being single tomorrow, you’ll be on a date.” When you turn to examine his facial expression, the serious tension in his jawline and focused eyes alarm you. Your stomach twists into knots and if he couldn't already tell, your palms grow sweaty at his offer.

“That’s such a slap in the face to them.” Pulling your hand away from his, you cross your arms and lean your head against the cold window. “I don’t think I can do that to them.”

“I have a race tomorrow.” He starts, his head tilting over at you with his round gorgeous begging eyes, “at least, come to that with me.”

“Okay, but only because I want to see Haechan.” As if it wasn’t moments ago, Jaemin was the one balls deep in you and now you’re spewing enthusiasm for another man. It’s all a joke, a way for you to conceal your undying attraction for Jaemin.

You still remember the first time you met the sunshine that is Haechan and the jealousy that seeped from Jaemin’s words when he noticed the exchange of flirtation. Haechan is someone you’d knowingly gravitate towards: a man with a loud personality that just knows how to conduct every personality in the room. And at that moment, Jaemin couldn’t tell if being more observant was a good or bad thing.

Jaemin never saw himself as outgoing as his other friends, staying more kept in his own circle, but he had the confidence to fake it. He’s bold, rather impulsive and slightly narcissistic, Jaemin knows how to use his strengths very well.

However, when he saw the soft smirk on Haechan’s face and your shy mannerisms, a small tinge in his chest ignited a died out flame. He didn’t realize it before, but that was the very start of his long tumble of feelings for you.

“Do you say those things to purposefully get me jealous?” Jaemin rests his hand on your thigh, giving it a harsh squeeze. His eyes never leave the road and his tone reverts back to his dominant tone.

“Well, are you jealous?” It’s like you two dance in circles, answer questions with a question does not stop.

And as bratty as your tone is, you don’t expect the quick “yes” that answers back and the smoldering look he gives you briefly before focusing back on the drive.

“Then good.” You huff, ready to hop out of the car after the odd, yet sensual tension. Jaemin pulls up to your house and double parks the car to lean in for a nightly goodbye kiss.

“You’re not coming in?” You try to read his facial expressions, but he hides his emotions too perfectly.

His lips curl into a smile before saying, “I think it’s better I cool off tonight.” And you mindlessly give him a peck, but he holds your face to deepen it. Through the kiss, you can feel the neediness by the way Jaemin shoves his tongue into your mouth. The taste of lust against your palette is difficult to ignore, but your academically responsible mind screams at you about your forgotten quiz.

Your hand lightly taps at his chest and he pulls away, his eyes drinking up your swollen lips. “I have a quiz, Jaemin.”

“I know, sorry. It’s just so easy to get lost in you.” Jaemin kisses your cheek once more before you exit. You smile back at him as his words have grown a strong effect on you lately. Bidding him goodbye, he wishes you sweet dreams as he patiently makes sure you’re fully inside your house.

“Is the music too loud?” Jaemin checks over at your hunched figure in the passenger seat. You’re diligently flipping through your thick textbook, a yellow highlighter in one hand and the other comfortably holding Jaemin’s.

The worst part of college is the never ending midterms that are given at any time. Studying in his car isn’t a rare sight, if anything it is more expected than you not doing anything related to your academics. But Jaemin genuinely doesn’t mind, even being mindful about his own actions to ensure an optimal studying space for you.

He really is an ideal guy. Like his first promise, he keeps you well fed and never once asks you for any monetary pay back. Jaemin adjusts the car temperature before you even step into the vehicle, knowing that you prefer wearing less clothes rather than more. Though he isn’t academically responsible, he still makes the effort to try and understand enough information to pass his classes.

The sole flaw would be the lack of open communication. It’s genuinely difficult for you to read his emotions or intentions. Jaemin always has a dazed look in his eyes whenever he looks at you, and it’s an internal fight about whether or not you’re being delusional.

“Music is fine, honey.” The mindless use of a pet name slips from your lips, but your concentration on neoliberalism and globalization doesn’t allow for you to notice.

Nevertheless, Jaemin catches on immediately to the usage. While he showers you in ridiculous nicknames, you’re not one to do so. “Honey?”

“Yes?” You answer back carelessly, not entirely actively listening to him as you highlight an important concept in your book.

“No, you called me honey.”

Looking up from your page, you blink at him with wide eyes and mouth slightly agape. “I did?”

Jaemin chuckles and finally pulls into the overly crowded parking lot, a whole mass of fanboys cheering at the arrival of his flashy vehicle. Everyone just loves Jaemin.

This familiar scene plays like a reel --- several high beams cast light under the dark sky due to the lack of functioning street lamps, dizzy multicolored cars that blaze the tracks, and the all too distinct smell of musky cologne in the chilly air. Oh, and the wide eye admirable stares when you get out of the car.

“Hi, you’re stunning.” A bold new recruit blinks at you in complete awe and awkwardly clears his throat once he realizes his rash comment.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow at him, then at how you plan on handling the situation. You’re flattered, nonetheless, but know that Jaemin didn’t bring you here to flirt with other men. “Thank you. I hope you enjoy your membership in the Ridin’ Club.”

The gracefulness in your delicate voice has the youthful recruit swooning and subtly giddy as he runs off to join a group of others that have been eying you across the parking lot. Jaemin casually drapes his leather jacket over your exposed shoulders, knowing the temperature change is going to result in you most likely catching a cold and because you never bring a jacket despite his plea.

“The power you hold.” Jaemin winks at you before pulling you into a larger crowd to socialize with more impressionable recruits.

“Ah, so you’re (Y/N)!” The stranger is unrecognizable, but you giggle to acknowledge his confident statement. “We haven’t met before, but Jaemin was talking about you the other night at our motorcycle meet.”

Your eyes light up, as if you’ve unlocked a new fun fact of Na Jaemin. “You drive a motorcycle too?” You’re truly shocked at the talent of this man.

Jaemin snakes his arm around your lower waist to draw you closer to his side. “Yeah, but I can’t fuck you in a motorcycle, can I?”

Before the other men can comment on the obvious sexual tension that Jaemin created, he leans in to whisper into your ear. “Actually, I can, but we’ll save our decency from unwanted exposure.” His hot breath grazes against the shell of your ear and you just know where you two are going to end up tonight.

“Bro, you guys probably fuck in the backseat of his car.” One of them chimes recklessly, punching at each others’ chest playfully as if he made a decent joke.

“Why don’t you stay to find out?” Jaemin retorts and the grip on your hip becomes tighter. You’re too flustered to add much into this odd form of competitive banter, distracted by none other than the way Jaemin keeps glancing over at you with a delicious gleam in his eyes.

“So what? You don’t care about us now?” You’d know that bratty tone from anywhere as Lee Haechan pushes past everyone else to rush over to the both of you.

“Aw, are your feelings hurt?” Jaemin sticks his tongue out at his friend before cordially sharing a handshake with him.

“Just slightly.” Haechan looks over at you with a wide grin and playful eyes, “hello, my pretty girl.”

“Drop the possessives, Haechan.” Jaemin rolls his eyes with an irritable twitch on his lips.

He hates how obviously jealous he gets. It’s something too difficult for himself to control, he’s exhausted his efforts to bite his tongue whenever it comes to other people’s flirtations. The thought of someone else calling you theirs doesn’t sit well with him.

“I understand your jealousy, Jaem. If someone was flirting with (Y/N), I wouldn’t be able to stand it either.” Haechan fixes the falling jacket on your shoulders. “But she can handle herself, I know those pretty lips have a mind of their own.” His gaze drops momentarily, yet obvious enough for you to grow shy at how strong Haechan is coming off tonight.

“Stop trying to corrupt her, that’s my job.” Jaemin playfully pushes at Haechan’s chest and they both break out laughing.

“I haven’t said one thing and you’re both talking about me as if I’m not here.” Your small pout is literally the cutest thing to Jaemin. He physically has to stop himself from planting the sweetest kiss on it.

It’s blatantly clear that you’re hot stuff. You’re the perfect example of a head turner, your captivating aura has its ability to suffocate those around you. However, Jaemin has seen all sides of you, but overall finding you so entirely cute. And oddly enough, Jaemin has a knack for cute things.

“Is that (Y/N) I hear?” Huang Renjun engulfs you in a hug, showing clear affection and doesn’t mind doing so. “How did your project go?”

“It went well. You accomplish a lot when you don’t procrastinate.” Renjun gleams at your statement and if Jaemin is delusional enough, he’d probably mistaken the twinkle in his eyes for infatuation instead of admiration.

“You’re so responsible, why are you messing with Jaemin?” Renjun sighs and though his question is more of a joke, there is some truth behind his words.

Your friendship with his friends differ immensely compared to other girls who have come around. Like Jaemin had said before, his boys were going to like you and they do, a lot. Sometimes making it obvious that you’re too good for him.

Jeno comes up from the side, an unidentifiable bruise on his neck and a new cut on his brow. Lee Jeno being such a rough character, his appearance speaks well about how his day has been.

But when he lays his eyes on you, it’s as if all his pain is replaced with joy and security. “(Y/N)! I haven’t seen you in so long!” The enthusiastic boy rushes over to greet you with a warm smile.

“I’m pretty sure I was here a week ago.” You laugh, but welcome him in your arms for a tender friendly hug and pat his head out of habit.

“It’s been a week?! That’s so long.” Jeno narrows his eyes at Jaemin and flicks his forehead.

“Ow!” Jaemin exclaims while rubbing the pain away. “You act like she doesn’t go to the same school as us and therefore, can see her any time you want to.” The tone in Jaemin’s voice raises some eyebrows as they all exchange glances to each other before bursting into laughter.

“Like your jealous ass would allow for that?” Haechan remarks and Jaemin doesn’t outwardly react. However, Jaemin’s hand is squeezing you so tight that you’re more than certain he’s bothered by the comment.

“Oh, stop it. You all know I’m Team Jaemin. He does have the most wins this past month.” You only know that through Jaemin’s proud boasting, anything else in the racing world is unknown to you.

Jaemin situates you in between his legs as he slightly sits on the hood of his car. His arms wrap around your middle and chin rests on your shoulder. Public display of affection isn’t a problem for him, and you learned much earlier that Jaemin can’t keep his hands off of you.

Renjun scoffs at your whimsical fact, in absolute disbelief. “It hurts more hearing you say it. I’m getting my car upgraded, but once it’s done, I’m going to blaze his ass on the tracks.”

“Are you racing today?” Jeno asks the blue haired fellow that clings onto you like a koala.

“Yeah, against a newbie. Apparently he’s really good, so I’m not too sure I’ll win.” Jaemin mumbles into your hair.

“You say that every time, yet you win!” Renjun crosses his arms, weight shifting to his left leg as he pops his hip out. There is always a sense of competition between anyone with Renjun.

Jaemin perks up behind you and when you turn around in his arms, you’re face to face with a beaming smile. “That’s because I have you.” Eyes lock with yours, he isn’t saying that directed to Renjun. Na Jaemin has you wrapped around his pinky, the butterflies fluttering in your stomach are too hard to ignore.

“Alright, lovebirds. Get in your car and let’s start this shit.” Haechan groans and claps his hands to draw the crowd’s attention. Cupping them around his mouth, he roars into the starry night, “let’s roll!”

During the race, Jaemin’s number one priority is to keep you safe. While you’ve sat in his car for a number of times now, it’s different once the loud bang goes off and he’s hitting 100 mph. Tonight’s track is much more dangerous, with twists and turns that can have the vehicle flying weightlessly if he’s not careful.

“You trust me, right?” Jaemin has both hands on the wheel and the engine rumbling as you both anticipate the start of the race.

Spectators watch on the sidelines as if it’s the ultimate battle, but Jaemin doesn’t pay them much mind. He’s more concerned about you instead. “Of course. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. You’ve proven yourself that you’re an excellent driver, so let’s win this.”

Jaemin smirks at your encouraging words, feeling a warmth spread across his chest. “I’ll tap out any time you want me to, okay?”

You nod and the initial whip of the car is so intense that you didn’t even register the sound off. It’s not your first race, but it’s been awhile since the last one. When you adjust to the pressure, the lanes in front of you cause a slight queasiness in your stomach.

It’s a two lane windy road that wraps around the mountain side and Jaemin happens to be in the outer lane. All it takes is a second of lost control and you two will hit the metal railings that guard the cliff below. Despite your inner panic, Jaemin guides you through the pooling anxiety that leaves you restless.

“(Y/N), look up and out the window. We’re coming up on the cliff side view, I’ve always wanted to bring you here.” Your eyes land on the dazzling glitter that dances on the ripples of the lake. It’s so vast, the moon high up in the sky is reflected on the water below. It’s a romantic scene of melancholy and bliss. Suddenly, you feel at peace in the middle of this high speed race.

“It’s beautiful, Jaem.” You whisper calmly and he’d reach for your hand to hold, but races take too much wheel control. And he’d turn to look at you, but races take too much concentration on the road ahead.

But throughout every obstacle, he hears the gentleness and the solidarity in your cadence in the midst of all the high stress. He, too, feels peace. He feels calm knowing that you’re simply by his side, even in the face of danger. So, he can finally admit to himself… he genuinely developed feelings for you.

Before you know it, you’re thrusted side to side from the sharp turns and the adrenaline kicks in when the other racer catches up right next to Jaemin. “Fuck,” Jaemin curses underneath his breath and steps harshly on the acceleration. “Baby, I’m going to go a bit faster so hold onto something.” He warns and your hand finds the grab handle. It’s neck and neck at this point.

Usually, you squeeze your eyes shut to avoid becoming too overwhelmed by the sights in front of you. Tonight is different, not entirely knowing why, you’re observing every element that circles around the perimeter.

The finish line is up ahead, but there is no sign that the other racer is slowing down. Then, you see it: the fatal mistake that can cost you both of your lives if you didn’t catch it. “Jaemin, watch out!” You yelp when the other car inches dangerously close, your warning allows Jaemin to make a controlled swerve away from a possible hit.

Jaemin shakes his head and tsks at the recklessness. “Now I know why he’s good. It’s foul play.” He blows his bang out of his eyes and casually says, “thank you for warning me. This is why I need you by my side.”

He makes it to the finish line barely before the other, winning the race by half a second. Jaemin brakes smoothly, tire marks scrapping the concrete below, and you both exit the car to celebrate with everyone else.

But before the mass of eager shouting men make their way over to you two, Jaemin hurries to your side to pull you into a steamy, rewarding kiss. The scene is just like the movies; his hand on your lower back and yours on his chest lightly. His lips taste like triumph, like he had won more than just a simple race against a random stranger. He’s won the best person he could ever have.

You two fled the scene after cussing out the other racer. It was a rare sight to see: Jaemin being all bothered and angry, practically fuming after scrambling back into the driver’s seat. However, your mind had mischievous plans of its own and all it took was one look from his hooded eyes for you to announce that you wanted him --- badly.

Back in your usual abandoned parking lot, Jaemin pauses before following you to the back seats. With the engine off and the dead of the night being absolute silent, the tension remains thick around you two. “(Y/N),” Jaemin is about to confess something he never thought he’d admit. He turns to you sitting in the middle seat with just your panties on and a curious look on your face.

His heart burns and despite being so incredibly aroused, he controls his urges enough to be able to say, “I’m into you.”

“I know you’re into me, that’s how we ended up like this in the first place.” You giggle cluelessly to his words, still not understanding the odd shift in mood and intentions. It’s always his unclear, messy intentions.

Though he can’t entirely figure out his puzzle pieces, he has plenty to connect the dots. “I like you. I want to be in a relationship with you and call you my girlfriend.”

You’re stunned. Did Jaemin just confess to you as you sit in your panties ready to fuck? This softness is different from the sides you’ve seen of him. It’s similar to a lost bunny, wandering grasslands to find a purpose. He looks so fragile, one intense stare and he’d crumble. This softness is vulnerability.

“So do it.” The boldness catches him off guard, but switches on the dominance in him. “If you want me, come show it.”

He climbs over the middle console to push you into the leather seats. “Not acting shy anymore, are you?” Practically ripping your shirt off of you, he cups your breast lightly and flicks at your nipples. Your immediate reaction results in a rush of wetness down your core.

“Before I forget,” sitting up, you share a passionate kiss that you’ve held back long enough. You give it every ounce of feeling you have for him. “If it isn’t obvious enough, I like you too.”

“It’s obvious, baby.” Kissing your nose, he wraps a hand around your throat to lightly push you back down. “But hearing you say it out loud makes me happy.” Jaemin smirks, hand still choking you gently and pampering your jawline with soft kisses.

His free hand reaches down into your dripping panties, circling your clit with your wetness. The sensation causes you to whimper for more. “Daddy, give it to me.” You wiggle in his palm, knowing that the nickname is more than effective.

“My sweet (Y/N) wants to get fucked?” Jaemin rolls your underwear off and rids himself of his own bottoms.

“Yes, please.” Through the darkness, his hard dick stands proudly. Jaemin lines himself up as he thrusts into you without another second of hesitation. He waits for you to adjust to his size, his tip barely grazing your sweet spot. “Fuck…”

“You take me so well, my pretty baby.” Jaemin starts moving his hips, slowly at first to build a rhythm. Taking your legs, he presses them into your chest to fuck you at a deeper angle. And you feel him practically in your guts, his cock pumping against your walls deliciously and bumping into your g-spot. “Do you want more of me?”

Your train of thought is in utter shambles and whatever Jaemin is saying to you barely processes. You’re overwhelmed by a pleasure that fills every system, every part of your body. To answer him, you let out an incoherent noise of approval.

Jaemin pulls your hips down while thrusting forward into you, maximizing every inch of his strokes. This single action causes you to scream and grip onto the headrest. “Who knew my sweet girl could be so fucking dirty?” Jaemin chuckles darkly, his cadence dropping several decibels. “When I first met you, I wanted to ruin you.”

All of his filthy words edge you closer to your release as he continues to repeat his previous motion. He holds your hips in place to grind into you, the feeling of his tip rubbing your walls has your eyes rolling back. “Do you want to cum, (Y/N)?”

“Yes!” You yell, the tight ball in your lower abdomen is bound to break any minute. “I want to cum so badly, please.” You beg and moan, the arch in your back lifts you from the seat of the car. Jaemin snaps his hips into you, drilling you quickly to reach your high. And you break. An euphoric cry fills the air as your walls clench around his length. You hear the extra wetness create a slick noise, but Jaemin isn’t done with you yet.

“You wanted to cum so fucking badly. I’ll reward you with one more for being such a good girl for me.” His thumb flicks at your clit and you convulse into spasms from the sensitivity. Your violently shaking legs can’t hold themselves up anymore and Jaemin rests them on his shoulders. He lines kisses along your ankle as the pleasure overtakes you.

“I don’t think I can do it.” You whine, your fingers twisting and toes curling.

“You are going to try, okay baby?” He coos, but it’s most definitely a demand. He sits back on his knees to pick up more speed, fucking endlessly into your swollen pussy and thumb rubbing fast strips against your bud.

“I’m going to snap, Jaem.” You cry, tears rimming your eyes and before you know it, a second wave hits you. Your second orgasm is ruinous and has you squirming around to regain some sense of control.

“Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful.” Jaemin slows down as your walls grip around him again, tighter this time. “I’m going to fill you up with cum,--- watch it drip out of you.” He grunts while releasing into you, his dick twitching and spraying your insides with white.

He pulls out as hot, white cum spills from your pussy. You take this moment to catch your breath and relax your legs. However, Jaemin coats his two fingers and shoves the cum back into you. “Jaemin!” You exclaim at the sudden intrusion.

He curls them into your plushy walls and finger fucks you into another oblivion. “Wait, again?” Your hands wrap around his wrist, but Jaemin moves too fast for you to catch it.

You’re a moaning mess again, louder than before. Jaemin leans down and flicks his tongue against your overstimulated bundle of nerves. Your back arches automatically and a low animalistic scream rises from your throat.

He observes your body lines underneath the moonlight and the last remaining light the broken street lamps have to offer. Your face contours and you’re so far out into ecstasy that you don��t notice how intensely Jaemin watches you lose yourself.

“It feels too good!” With one last thrilling orgasm, you almost pass out and you see small stars of dizziness. He soaks up every last bit of your cathartic reaction and festers a small sense of pride that he can make you feel all this pleasure.

“Such a good girl. You’re beyond impressive, baby.” Jaemin pulls his fingers out to lick them clean and finds some wipes to help you out of your sticky situation.

“Now that you’re my girlfriend, can we cuddle at any time now? Not just as after care.” He peers up at you and the one word enacts a burning warmth to spread across your chest. That is the best nickname he can call you by.

“I think the Singles Girls Only house event is still going on, but after that, yes a million times.” You laugh and wrap your arms around him into a big loving hug.

Jaemin feels right at home. All the long years of living carelessly and wild, he’s finally found someone worth the extra mile. While Jaemin was a thriving adventure to be explored, you were his comfort to run back to.

It is through the intimacy of your backseat chronicles that Jaemin was able to fall deeper for you. You’re his lucky charm, for some reason, he always feels better around you.

#neosmutcollective #neowritingsnet #nct-writers #kpopscape #neothestars #nct scenarios #nct smut #jaemin #nct #jaemin smut #jaemin scenarios #na jaemin #nct dream #nct dream scenarios #nct dream smut #nct imagines #nct dream series #ridinclub

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stuckasmain · 3 years

Text

Buffy the vampire slayer season 2 review

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Huge! Major! Mondo! Serious spoilage here people! Keep if you haven’t seen season 2 and don’t want to be spoiled, jump off now. You’ve been warned

✨𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 ✨

literally no one gave them the right for half the episodes in this season and I’ll single handedly fight whoever made me feel like this. So clearly the show was picked up after the first season as it launches straight from 12 episodes to 22. Honestly I love It so far and still do- also spike. Y’all were right he’s great. Just.... just who allowed you to do that finale she’s 17 let her watch crappy movies or something.

[IMG=O3A]

seriously I like just finished and I’m still not ok

𝐒𝐭𝗼𝐫𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐮𝐩! 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐝𝗼𝐞𝐬𝐧𝐭!

SLIGHTLY more vampires then season one! This was my more major complaint of season one , but with more episodes they could pace out the story driven - I don’t want to say ‘main plot’ episodes. There’s a equal mix of vampire slayage and ‘living on a hellmouth’ activity’s. I kinda like how you’ll have your more goofy monster of the month episodes then WHAM. Vampires! Emotions! Death! Straight in the gut. However at the same time it feels like it sort of drags a bit. Like everyone’s stuck in this sort of loop of development just like the world. Learn a lesson or evolve as a charecter or some sort of word thing? Next episode it’s kinda ignored and that flaw is back again.

however I am completely LIVING for the Halloween episode.

𝐂𝗼𝗺𝐞𝐝𝐲

Still god tier , next. Ok but seriously I feel it got even better this season and I love it.

Nothing will EVER be funnier then beating a unstoppable demon with a god damn bazooka and a pissed off teenager

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Buffy summers-

Someone get this girl a hug I swear to god she’s been though it. As much as I adore her and think she’s funny and smart , though cocky , but at the same time she suffers from the development issue I said before. Like she learns a lesson then next episode jumps straight back into the same sort of thing. However this is no fault on her and mainly just proves she has a good heart. I mean if my principle was like that and my own mother was so quick to believe I GENUINELY KILLED SOMEONE/TRIED TO without listening to a single word of mine. I’d loose it sometimes too.

Xander-

Again he’s still my soul. No porn star t-shirt this time :( . Again he’s just he’s funny, he’s awkward but his hearts in the right place. He really is a human puppy dog, who’s more bark then bite too. I also love the detail of him remembering all the military stuff from Halloween but also the “I was a hyena once I can relate to the werewolf :D” I love hyena boy. Also low key self deprecating half the time.

Willow-

Baby angel. Nerd queen. Love her so much omg. I love how sweet she is but also how at the same time she’s decently tough, and then gets all excited when she acts tough. Seriously she’s so adorable I may burst.

Giles-

Also my soul. Father figure of the year. Also, I like how this season began hinting at something deeper then what meets the nerdy nerdy surface. He’s kinda like willow a sweet and awkward nerd however he WILL snap much more often then she will.

Oz-

SETH GREEN! That’s it. Seth green! I love him so much oz is such a sweetheart, though it is kinda like willow dating a male, werewolf, version of herself. Though I’m here for it.

Cordillera -

How she is both developed and the same at the same time. I love her lmao.

Angel-

How do you go from Edward Cullen to dork to evil boy to sad boy. Apparently don’t have sex because you’ll be happy and turn evil kids. Really... who put that into the curse? Ok so yeah on one hand he’s no longer suffering so why have him cursed, at the same time it opens up the chance for him to do the same thing you fucking cursed him for again! Seriously evil him is both entertaining as it is a very punchable face.

Spike-

The guy pulls up looking like that, to that music. I swear it was like Billy Hargrove like a instant “well there going to be good” (as in interesting charecter-) and it was right. I love how he just shows up and is all “ok, what do you do for fun around here” .... “you people have heard of fun here right? Jesus Christ- what do you do? Skeam all day?” Later half after the mid part of the season he sort of Meh’s. However his sarcasm is p e a k.

Dru-

I love her you don’t understand. She’s so creepy and cute , evil and yet understandable. You both feel sympathetic but also worried over what she’s going to try.

𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝗼𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬!

the show kicked off and everyone’s dating!

Buffy and angel-

Cute , until it wasn’t. Honestly I like how they got over the tragedy early in the seasons an just got to dating like good god. Honestly they’re cute, somehow Constant make outs and being overly protective works. Then he , you know... goes evil after her - god that’s. That’s one way. I felt so bad for her Jesus. Also the last few minutes when he gets his soul back and he- and she- yeah.

Xander and cordillera-

I’m acting loving their relationship. Something about non stop bickering lead me to think it’d happen. And it did exactly as I thought it would(also nothing will be funnier the Transition of them sliding down in the closet and it cuts to sex Ed class. Nothing will ever be funnier. I am a 2 year old leave me alone.)

Willow and oz-

They’re so cute I’m going to burst I swear. Sweet dorks in love I cannot Handle it I can’t . I love them so much.

Giles and ms calendar-

*Muffled sobbing*

Spike and Dru-

LIVING. I love them. Again, creepy and cute. You don’t need the whole soul thing to have feelings you know? I can’t get over the demon calling them out on loving each other and spike looking so offended.

Ps.

The flashbacks in the last two episodes were great. I demand more. (Also Angels accent and ponytail will kill me im sure of it) just yes.

#y’all ruined me #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy season 2 #angel btvs #buffy summers #rupert giles #xander harris #willow rosenberg #cordelia chase #oz btvs #spike btvs #dru btvs

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cityofimagines · 5 years

Text

Heat of the Moment - Thomas (TMR) x Reader

Request: Can you do a Thomas tmr smut where the reader gets taken and after their reunited Thomas makes his feeling known because he’s scared to loose her again?!

A/N: sorry for the wait on this one!! i kinda tested out a new writing style with this being in thomas’s pov & ive been trying to write it for days & days but i think i finally got it 🤪 hope you like it :)

Warnings: fluffy smut if that makes sense...writing this made me emo & im not even a thomas girl hahaha

Thomas’s P.O.V

It feels like the past few hours have sped by in about 30 seconds.

We escaped the maze. We did it. Somehow. Minho, Newt, Frypan, Teresa, (y/n), Winston and I made it out alive. A few others weren’t so lucky, but I’ve decided to push those vivid memories to the back of my mind for now.

Then suddenly we were in a helicopter. I had Chuck’s blood all over me, tears filling my eyes, and absolutely no sense of clarity in my brain. Until I looked at her.

(y/n) was- is my right hand girl. My partner. Her and I were both runners back in the Glade, and then we escaped together. She made it as far as anyone else, to this crazy building we were currently being held in with a bunch of other kids our age that had almost the same experiences as us.

When we got into this building, they separated us into different sections of one big room to get “checked out,” whatever that means. They took me behind a curtain and sat me in a chair. They did the same with Newt, Minho, Fry, Teresa and Winston. But (y/n) was different. They took her into a completely separate room.

I remember yelling out her name and I remember her quickly whipping her head back to me. She opened her mouth to say something but the guards that were holding her shouted at her to “hurry up” and pulled her in the opposite direction. I remember seeing the fear in her eyes and hating myself for being strapped into a chair and not being able to do anything.

Eventually they let us go, which leads us to where we are now. We’re all currently in a small, stuffy room sitting on bunkbeds, staring at the ceiling. My mind was absolutely racing at the thought of what they could be doing to (y/n). I can’t lose her. I can’t.

That girl is everything to me. She doesn’t know it, but she is. She kept me sane in that maze every day. She is the only one who knows how to constantly put a smile on my face when I feel like shit. Not having her with me right now is killing me.

“She’s gonna be fine Tommy. Don’t worry.” Newt said quietly from the bed above me. I never actually told anyone how I feel about her, but deep down they all know.

“Thanks Newt.”

I was sitting on the edge of my bed with my racing heart and racing mind constantly reminding me of my missing piece. I cannot believe I let her go so easily. I should’ve stepped in her place. How could I let this happen? The one person I know I genuinely love and I let her go.

What felt like hours passed, and nothing.

“How long have we been in here?” I asked.

“Dunno, about 45 minutes?” Minho said. I dropped my head dramatically into my hands.

“Fuck.” I whispered.

“Hey man...she’ll be okay. I’m pretty sure I heard her say they’re gonna bring her back.” Minho explained. I had no idea if he was being serious or not, but even if he wasn’t I still had hope that she would be reunited with us soon.

“I still can’t believe we’re out. Like we’re out of the maze and we’re he-” Fry started but was soon cut off by the loud creaking of our metal door opening. All of a sudden I heard a loud “thud” followed by some shouting.

“Here’s your friend. Now all of you, out to dinner. NOW!” They yelled and slammed the door behind them.

“(Y/N)?!” I yelled, more to myself than anyone else. I stared at her body on the floor for a split second before I came to my senses. I immediately ran over and picked her up.

“Thomas.” She said and practically fell into my arms.

“Oh my God thank goodness you’re okay.” Teresa exclaimed and wrapped her arms around her best friend from the other side.

“We’re so glad you’re alright.” Newt said, putting a hand on her shoulder. She was still mainly in my embrace while everyone else came over to console her.

A few minutes later, there was another bang on our door. “EVERYBODY IN THE COMMON ROOM, NOW!”

(y/n) let go of me and looked around. “I’m okay. You guys go.”

“No.” I began. “You guys go ahead. I’ll stay here with (y/n). I don’t need anymore of us getting in trouble.” I said.

“You sure?” Newt asked.

“Positive. Really, go ahead.” I persisted.

“Okay.” Newt shrugged. “I trust you. Come get us if you need anything.” And with that, they all walked out the door, leaving (y/n) and I alone.

“Thomas?” She said in barely a whisper.

“What is it babe?” I said using the nickname for her that accidentally slipped out one day during one of our runs through the maze. She smirked and raised an eyebrow, but never said anything to me directly about it. I just kept up with calling her that and it stuck.

“Will you hold me?”

“Of course.”

I wrapped my arms around her tightly and put my head in the crook of her neck. Her breathing started slowing over time. I rubbed my hands up and down her back softly. I wish I knew what was on her mind right now.

A few minutes later she pulled away. She looked into my eyes for a split second and the next thing I knew, she was doing the thing that I had been too much of a wuss to do for 7 months.

Her lips were locked on mine. Hair was tangled, desperate hands were running up and down each other’s bodies, and hot breath tickled my neck. This was everything I wanted for as long as I could remember.

“Let me make you feel good baby.” I pleaded. She nodded.

Soon enough lips were back on lips. I made the first move and began to kiss her neck. She moaned softly which made my knees weak. Her hands trailed to the hem of my blue t shirt, and soon enough I felt cold, soft fingers tracing my burning skin.

“Thomas...” She said. I led her to one of the beds behind us. I sat down and she straddled me. We kissed for a few more seconds before I quickly took my shirt off. I saw her eyes scan my newly exposed body which only made me want to do the same with her.

“Can I take this off?” I asked softly, tugging on the hem of her shirt.

“Please.” I gently helped her out of the long sleeve she was in, and threw it somewhere unknown on the floor. I kissed her shoulders and collarbones as her hands ran up and down my back.

“Look at you...my gorgeous girl.” I breathed. She responded by kissing me, hard. I took that to mean she was ready for the next step.

Pants came off, and bodies were exposed. Silliness invaded our intimate time when she accidentally hit her head on the bottom of the top bunk when we went to lay down.

“You okay babe?” I asked smiling.

“Never better.” She replied.

“Are you ready for this?” I asked.

“Yes. Please. I want all of you.” She whispered.

“(y/n)?” I said.

“Yeah?”

I paused, unsure if the timing was right. But the more I thought about it, the more I decided that this was the perfect time to tell her. We had just been through hell and back together and now we’re in this perfect, emotional moment. This is it. No going back now.

“I love you.” I said without giving it a second thought. Once I said it, I knew it was right. I’ve loved her for a long time, and this moment with her right now has absolutely confirmed that for me.

She looked up at me with her beautiful eyes. “I love you too Thomas.”

I felt my heart physically skip a beat at her words. All I could do was lean down and kiss her again. “Are you ready?” I whispered against her lips.

“Yes.” She said.

I slowly pushed into her, giving her time to adjust to the feeling. My mouth dropped open at the feeling of her warmth around me. I noticed her face scrunch up slightly and I grabbed her hand. I pressed soft, gentle kisses to her knuckles.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah...just give me a second.” She said. After a few moments, “You can move now. I’m okay.”

I kissed her nose before pushing the rest of the way in. I started slowly thrusting inside of her. The kisses got more passionate as time went on, moans became more frequent, and skin glistened from the heat of the moment. She looked perfect.

“Fuck Thomas...I’m- I’m getting c-close.” She said. Her hand grabbed onto my shoulder as she bounced underneath me.

“Me too baby girl. You can let go. I’ve got you.” I said.

With that, she hit her release, with me not too long after. I pulled out and collapsed next to her on the bed.

“That was amazing.” She said.

“Yes it was.” I nodded.

“Thank you.” She said softly. I turned to look at her.

“I love you.”

#tmr #thomas tmr #thomas tmr imagine #thomas tmr smut #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brian imagine #dylan o'brien smut #the scorch trials #thomas tmr headcanon #thomas tmr thirst #tmr smut #the maze runner #the death cure #tdc #tdc smut #the death cure smut #the scorch trials smut #tmr thomas

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spectacled-renegade-writes · 5 years

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Title: A Logic’s Work is Never Done

Notes: Oh? My goodness? Is this real? Is this actually happening? Did I finally make it? I just want to give a HUGE thank you and shout out to @heck-im-lost for being the very first person EVER to send a fic request to me! I’ve always wanted to have fic requests but I’ve never been big enough or popular enough for it. So, a GIANT thank you to you! You made my day! I do so hope you enjoy this fic!

Summary: Logan is sleep deprived. How long can he keep it a secret?

Pairings: Platonic CALM/LAMP

Trigger Warnings: Sleep deprivation, Sensory overload, Crying

Other Tags: Fluff

Words: 2246

Ao3: Here

Virgil was the first to notice. It was more than just the ever so slightly sluggish movements he began exhibiting, too. It was the way he tried to cover up his nodding off by proceeding to pull out his phone, the lack of appetite, and most importantly, it was the quite pristine knot in his tie becoming crooked. If there was one thing Virgil was an expert in, it was sleep deprivation, and Virgil had no doubt in his mind that Logan was sleep deprived.

Arguably, Logan was far more stubborn than him. Thus, Virgil did not know how to gently bring it up to Logan without making him feel attacked. So, instead, Virgil decided to simply keep a close eye on him for now.

Thomas’ next video would be going into a very heavy and very serious subject matter, and he had been quite anxious about making sure he had all the facts correct. Logan had taken this to heart and began staying up later and later, making sure he was nothing short of an expert on the subject. He spent hours upon hours of sitting at his desk, skimming books, reading articles and taking notes. There was no time for sleep when he had a deadline to make.

Logan knew that the others, especially Virgil, having been created from the left side of Thomas’ brain just as himself, were far more perceptive than they let on, and he feared that they might take notice of his new little habit. It was never a matter of if, but instead a matter of when… Of course Virgil was the first to see it.

Just as Logan knew the others were quite perceptive, he was as well. Which meant that he took notice of how Virgil’s gaze began to linger on him longer than normal, or how he would stare at Logan when he thought Logan wouldn’t notice. Logan waited for the figurative other shoe to drop. He waited… and waited. He was quite perplexed when it never happened. Even when it was only Virgil and he in the room, with no indication that Patton and/or Roman would be entering any time soon, Virgil never spoke up about it. It remained one of those things where both of them knew about it but they pretended the other didn’t know. Logan carried on with his research while sitting at the dining room table, fourth coffee in hand, and Virgil remained on the couch, scrolling through Tumblr on his phone, keeping watch on Logan out of the corner of his eye.

It took a long time for the problem to be acknowledged. When it did get acknowledged, however, it happened at the most inconvenient of time.

Logan stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counter, while he waited for his coffee to brew. He stood with his eyes closed, inhaling and letting the smell of the coffee ground him in place, never realizing quite how relaxing and comforting the smell really was, or how at home and safe it made him feel.

A snap right next to his ear jerked him awake. When had Logan closed his eyes in the first place? He honestly couldn’t say.

“Lo.”

He couldn’t have nodded off while standing up. That would be preposterous… Right?

“Logan!”

Logan was abruptly brought back to his senses and he practically stumbled while regaining his composure. “Virgil? When did you arrive?”

Hands stuffed into his hoodie pockets, Virgil had the most unimpressed look Logan has ever seen. Something about his posture though showed that he really didn’t feel like getting into it right now. “Go to bed, Logan.”

“Virgil, I-”

“Virgil, I don’t know what you mean. Don’t even try me with that. I know. You know I know. Go to bed. Let’s call it a day.”

Logan scoffed. He did not need this. Logan did not need this. His patience has been thin lately anyway. He turned and grabbed the entire coffee pot from its stand and brushed past Virgil. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He sunk out before Virgil could even retort back.

At the end of every week was “Fun Night Fridays” as Patton so loving named it. He had gotten the idea soon after Virgil was accepted, so that the four of them could grow closer as a family. They played a different game every week and sometimes multiple games in one night.

Tonight was Roman’s turn to pick. It came as a surprise to no one when he picked Mario Kart. He was second best to Logan and was determined to be number one.

“Are you ready to be left in the dust, nerd?” Roman challenged while hooking up the console.

“I don’t… I don’t see how dust has to do with this.”

Roman sighed, “Honestly, sometimes I swear you do that on purpose. Are you ready to be second best? Tonight is the night I will best you!”

“So you think,” Logan smirked. “Tonight, if I remain victorious, then you must give up on this dream of besting me.”

Roman finished setting up and sat next to Patton on the couch, controller in hand. Last time he sat next to Logan during Mario Kart, it almost ended in an all-out brawl because Roman kept nudging Logan to try and throw him off. After that incident, Logan and Roman had to have Patton and Virgil sit in between them. “Well,” Roman replied. “If we’re making this a challenge, then if I win tonight, I get to choose the game for game night on your night as well as mine for the next year!”

“An adequate trade,” Logan said. “It’s a deal.”

Well, Roman was beginning to panic. Once again, he was losing. He was right on Logan’s tail, so close, but for the life of him he could not catch up! “Curse you, Logan.” He gritted under his breath.

Logan was quite enjoying beating Roman as he flew through the course. He had long ago calculated the perfect angles and timing of each button for each map. It was muscle memory to him at this point.

On the third lap of Wario’s Gold Mine however, Logan’s adrenaline from the beginning of the game had begun to wear off. His movements became slow and mere feet from the finish line, the controller slipped from his hands and fell to the floor. His digital kart rolled to a complete stop exactly right behind the finish line. Roman’s kart flew right by his character and the word, “finish” appeared on Roman’s screen in bright, bold letters.

“Yes!” Roman jumped from his seat and threw his arms in the air. “I did it! I’ve finally beat you at your own game!”

Logan hadn’t even registered the loss yet. He had once again nodded off, however awakened suddenly by a heavy hand clamping down on his shoulder. “No need to cry about it, Logan. It was only a matter of time before you lost your crown.”

“Lost my crown…” Logan repeated in a confused daze. He saw the screen behind Roman and caught up with his surroundings. By this point, Patton and Virgil had crossed the finish line as well.

“I don’t think that’s very fair, Roman,” Patton spoke up. “Logan dropped his controller at the last second.”

“Yeah,” Virgil agreed. Logan was acutely aware of Virgil’s eyes burning holes into the side of his head. “Who could have predicted that?”

Roman merely shrugged. “A win is a win! It was never specified in the rules that dropping the controller disqualified the round.” He danced around the living room, bragging about his win through song, cheering about the fact that they wouldn’t have to play Scrabble for a whole year.

Logan knew Patton and Virgil were still staring at him, so he adjusted his glasses and said, “Roman is, unfortunately, correct. It was not specified in the rules and, therefore, a valid win.”

Roman’s response was to whoop and Logan excused himself to the kitchen.

It was too suspicious to make coffee at this hour in front of everyone else so, against his better judgement, Logan got a sugary but more importantly, caffeinated soda from the refrigerator, and chugged it, before returning to the living room. He would not lose again.

Logan was not an emotion. He was not emotional. He was not supposed to feel. But lately, he feels like he is going to figuratively fall apart at any moment now. He is just so tired, he cannot stand it anymore. He can’t go to sleep though. There is work to be done. There is research to be done. He must finish before the deadline.

Logan could barely walk, could barely register that he was walking. Somehow though, he ended up from his bedroom to the dining room table. He sat down at his chair and practically collapsed onto the table.

“Logan?” Patton asked as he set plates of food down. “Are you okay?”

Logan merely nodded in response. He no longer thought he could lift his head.

“Are you sure?” Patton had genuine concern in his voice. It was unsurprising, coming from him.

Logan used every bit of his energy to lift his head and look Patton in the eye. “I’m quite all right, Patton.”

Patton smiled gently, “Well, if you’re sure.” He went back to the kitchen to get the rest of the food.

Roman and Virgil came down shortly after and took their own seats at the table. Patton came back with a pitcher of orange juice and took his seat too.

Breakfast was a quiet time for the small family. It was waking up and preparing for the day, having one last moment of calm before the storm to come.

For Logan though, right now, with skin itchy from simply the air, it was loud. Every clank of fork against plate, sip from a cup, and thump as the cup was set back down was nothing short of loud.

Loud.

Loud, loud, loud!

It wouldn’t stop either. It just kept going. Clank, sip, thump. Clank, sip, thump. Clank, sip, THUMP. CLANK, SIP, THUMP!

Logan slammed his hand on the table. “Stop it!”

The entire table went silent. Logan closed his eyes and basked in it. No more sound. No more loud. No more… He opened his eyes. He looked at his family. They were staring right back at him. He looked at Virgil. Virgil’s eyes held nothing short of sympathy. In that moment, Logan knew Virgil that has been exactly where he currently is, and knew what he was feeling.

Patton spoke up first, voice as soft and gentle as possible. “What’s wrong, Logan?”

The words seemed to break him. Logan pulled off his glasses and buried his face in his hands. He felt his shoulders shake, his breathing quicken, and he knew that despite what he wanted, he was crying. His voice shook as he said, “I apologize for my outburst.”

“It’s okay, Logan.” Patton said patiently. “But please tell us what’s going on. We’ve… noticed that you’ve been off lately. We were hoping you’d come to us with it. I guess we should have gone to you instead.”

“Come on, Logan,” Roman spoke up. “I’ll even forfeit my win in Mario Kart if you tell us.” It was a lame attempt at a joke, however it seemed to work. Logan allowed himself a moment to breathe before wiping his face, and looking back up.

“Virgil figured it out a while ago. I think he’s been hoping that I’ll come to my senses. Apparently even Logic can lose sight of what is right.” Logan took a deep breath and replaced his glasses. “I have had almost no sleep for the past two weeks.”

Patton gasped. Logan continued before Patton could do anything else.

“Thomas’ next video deals with a very important subject matter and I must get all the facts right, and we have a deadline, there is no time for dillydallying.”

“So you’ve been over-studying.” Patton said and did not ask, putting the rest of the pieces together.

Logan nodded. Something about this situation made him choke up again and his voice cracked against his next sentence. “I’m just so tired.”

“Oh, Logan,” Patton whispered. “You’re right. The video is important… but not more important than your health. Thomas would not want you pushing yourself like this. None of us do.” He got up from his chair and crossed the table to pull Logan into a hug. “It’s okay to take breaks. In fact, it’s encouraged. How many times have you told us that sleep is vital?”

Logan knew it was a rhetorical question. It’s not like he had any energy left to answer anyway. He practically sunk into Patton’s embrace, something he would later deny ever doing.

“That’s it,” Roman said. “Forget whatever plans we originally had today. We’re getting blankets, we’re having a slumber party in the living room, and we’re going to make sure Logan goes to sleep.

“I guess it’s a good thing we’re still in our pajamas then.” Virgil added.

So, Patton gently led Logan to the couch while Roman and Virgil got the set up ready, and when it was time to lay down, Patton turned off the lights and joined their little cuddle party.

With his family surrounding him, and with the world once again silenced, and the warmth he felt, the last thing Logan said before he fell asleep was, “Thank you.”

Please let me know if you would like to be added or removed from the taglist!

General Taglist:

@i-am-avacado @cdragontogacotar @rptheturk

If anyone has any requests or questions, please send it to @spectacled-renegade-writes

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #logan sanders #ts logic #virgil sanders #ts anxiety #roman sanders #ts creativity #patton sanders #ts morality #logan sanders fanfic #logan sanders fanfiction #platonic calm #platonic lamp #platonic calm/lamp #platonic lamp/calm #renegade writes

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imgettinrealtiredman-blog · 5 years

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yes hello there im amber

And I’m coming back (and immediately disappearing) to make exactly one (1) last post on the Content(tm) that is the shitshow.

I’m going to make a note for anyone reading this (as reading text can be odd because you can’t decipher a tone) -- I’m not angry. I’m not. I’m extremely calm and level-headed writing this. Also, I’m not tagging SSO because the tag doesn’t deserve this. And people not directly involved don’t deserve to see this. They’re here for cute pixel ponies, not discourse.

Now then, let’s begin.

This happened in... what, April? May? In any case, it happened months ago. Everyone, including the “victim” and “suspects”, has moved on. Not only have they moved on, but they’ve recognized their wrongdoings and stopped.

They’ve grown.

They’ve changed.

And there’s proof of it.

Despite this, the topic keeps being brought up in vague posts. Despite this having happened months ago and nothing wrong going on since (at least to my knowledge), it... keeps being brought up? This confuses me greatly. If the people who were the direct issue have changed and moved on, why have the accusers *not seen this change*, and not *embraced it* and also carried on with their lives? If you hate it so much, why do you continue to surround yourself with something that no longer exists?

A little reminder in case you forgot: I’m not mad, I’m asking a genuine question to get my facts straight. Anyone that’s known me knows I will always see both sides to arguments, even ones I don’t necessarily agree with and have an open mind. (I expressed that numerous times to Piper, Bern, and others when they were in the server.)

Arguments, debates, etc. All these things can be filled with emotion. Emotions are valid. They’re unique and really give us a humanity that we all wish to have. But when it comes down to it, emotions can get in the way of things. When there’s any form of debate or argument, it’s one thing to get passionate, but it’s another to get emotional. It’s another to be filled with anger or sadness. It meddles with our brains and changes our words and creates misinterpretations. I cannot express to you the number of times Sam and I have gotten into arguments over simple misinterpretations. It happens. It’s human.

When things like this happen, it’s best to put your head down, back away, and return when you have a clear head. That way you can be at your best! You can be ready to either admit your wrongs or further persuade your argument with factual information. And... that’s the thing. From what I’ve noticed as of late, whenever the argument is brought up, it’s just... insults. Insults do nothing to an argument but entice emotion and if anything, show a lack of maturity. Lack of maturity in a serious topic like this instantly makes a reader lose trust in your side.

Think of it like this. One side is saying “We’ve changed, we’ve moved on” and the other is saying, “you guys are clOWNS”. What does that show for anyone? Other than a mess (which again, this poor pixel pony game doesn’t deserve this shitshow in the tags).

Speaking of arguments being derailed or being less authentic, I will continue to stand by the “feeling for Sam” and “trying to protect Sam” does not fall under the list of actions this group truly intended to do. Here’s the thing. If you’re trying to protect someone, you don’t block them. You don’t lose all contact with them. The only reason you would do something like that to protect someone is if you were trying to protect someone from yourself.

Saying you’re protecting Sam, and then immediately blocking him, it just... doesn’t make sense. It’s as if a teacher says “I’m here for you if you’re being bullied!” and then completely ignores you when the bully is punching you in the hallway. It’s as if a fireman just completely ignored the sirens.

An accuser “trying to protect” a victim, but then blocking the victim, completely invalidates any actions the accuser does, at least in my eyes.

Speaking of this, I’d like to bring up another point. What happened was... an accident. Burgie and Sam legitimately did not know there was a law in place against the whole thing.

Guess what?

Neither did anyone else.

Literally, no one did.

As soon as this all came to light and we found out? Everything changed.

Burgie deleted the fics. The NSFW channel(s) in the Discord were blocked to anyone without a specific “18+” rule. The interesting thing is, while these changes were going underway, one of Piper’s friends was taking screenshots and still sending them out of context to make everyone look terrible. Despite them doing what was right and making the change. They ignored it and kept trying to make it look like people were continuing the bad things when they weren’t.

That’s the thing. Tumblr has this mindset of “once a sinner, always a sinner”. Tumblr has this mindset that the world is black and white. It’s so incorrect in so many ways. If anyone has ever stepped outside for one day, they can tell that. Life is shades of gray. There is no black or white. We’re raised being told mistakes happen and that we learn by mistakes, and that some mistakes are worse than others. We learn that some opinions are worse than others, and even then that’s judged morally.

Tumblr doesn’t like when people fix their mistakes, no matter how big or small. That mindset is so incredibly toxic. People learn. People grow. Sometimes people are raised arrogant and ignorant and it isn’t until much later that they learn to have an open mind. People, Tumblr especially, need to be more understanding that certain mistakes can be corrected and can help someone grow into a better person.

Was this entire thing a mistake? Fuck yes.

Was it a giant mistake? Extremely, yes.

Is it reversible? No, it’s not. Nothing is.

Are people correcting their wrongs? YES.

Yet somehow, despite this being a yes, despite people growing, changing, moving on, and being better human beings than they were before, you guys keep holding onto it. You hold onto this little bit of negativity that happened months ago. Can’t you see that we’ve changed? That we’ve moved on and fixed our wrongs?

Can’t you see that no one but yourselves is listening to you rant, and the only reason anyone is saying anything now is because we’re tired of listening to a broken record play for months on end?

We’ve changed.

Burgie stopped writing those fics.

We know the laws. We won’t be fucking it up again. Meanwhile, you’ll probably continue to call us “clowns” (which I mean, they’re popular right now so I’ll take it. Ha, get it? “It”? I’ll shut up now). And again, that’s not an insult, this is just an observation.

I remember you guys before this all happened. Come on, now. You guys can do better. Do yourselves a favor and carry on with your lives. This doesn’t matter anymore. Go on, go home. Go play the pixel pony game and have fun. Stop beating a dead horse. (Yes I’m being a bit of a hypocrite here but like I said, this is the last time I’m saying anything. I’ve got more important things to worry about.)

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onepunchmiss · 5 years

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OPM s2e10 Live Blog

“Justice Under Siege”

ALRIGHT so despite the fact that it is the 1 week anniversary of my death, OPM has forcefully wrenched me from the underworld to come continue with the season. So here I am and I’ve already posted my guess for what this episode will entail so lets see how well I handle it! (see: how much I scream) As always, I’m watching as someone who is up to date on both the Manga and webcomic

ASDFGHJKL I OPENED OPM ON HULU AND IT IMMEDIATELY PICKED UP WHERE I LEFT OFF AT REWATCHING THE ZOMBIEMAN BIT HOW DARE I WAS NOT READY

lets try that again ok

AHA YES OMG we’re starting with this!! I was totally expecting to pick up exactly where we left off, with Destrochloridium at the HA but OK throw me for a loop! Mix it up! “ORA ORA ORA ORA” I love Saitamas VA, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I laffff oh my god it keeps going in the background as Kind talks I can’t

This is the scariest Saitama face I have ever witnessed wtf??? Why does it look so creepy?? Also, they added quite a bit to this scene huh? I guess They have to amp up the jokes since shit is getting pretty serious otherwise at this point in the series. OH SHIT THE DING ‘NO OTHER WORDS CAME TO MIND” OK Excellently done that got me I cackled fffffffffffffffff

OH MY GOD KING THAT SICK BURN?!?! I dont remember that I guess they’re really making it a point to be like ‘HEY LOOK THIS IS GONNA BE USED!!! IT EXISTS!!!’ but like I dont care cause it was worth it for the joke hhhhhhhhhhhJUST

Yanno, I just realised I think I know where every sing scene in the whole opening comes from down to the omake. Also just realised we are definitely getting Genos/Bang/Bomb vs Centipede cause that joint attack Bang and Bomb use is in the opening. Huh why did that only just now click anD OH MY GOD BB GENOS IM DYING NO

Ok now we’re where we left off and oh dear god I HATE that squish noise please stop no OK Gyoro’s weird Eye twitch was a cool touch. Oh wait Narinki is the highest ranking executive now? I thought he was just the top donor of funds or something? eh anyway- lol wow Gyoro puts on a convincing sob story voice this is so funny?? Cause its Complete BS and I wonder what my reaction would be if I didn’t already know that AHH OK BUT THAT ‘HEHIHIHIHIHI’ LAUGH THO OMG SO GOOD

WHEW ok but seriously just the MENTION of assembling all the heroes is raising my blood pressure asdfghjkl if I may have one thing in life PLEASE LET IT BE A THIRD SEASON PLEASE IM BE G G IN G

AHH YESSS!!!! YYYEEESSSS!!!!! DARKSHINE MY DUDE MAN BRO GUY YESSSS!!!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I JUST!!!!!! HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE OTHERWISE NORMAL GUYS WITH OBSCENE MUSCLES LIKE DARKSHINE AND TTM!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

ASDFGHHJKL Did Destrochloridium just shout Itadakimasu?? HULU y u no translate that??? DOI as he gets smooshed pfffffftttttttttttt omg the sound pls ohmigod everyone knows steel is no match for a hardened body i just fukken HEKK I love this show so much pls he sounds so concerned that destro DIDNT know that

“Better step up” OH MY GOD YES DO THE THING

OK WAIT This is actually badass and not just a joke?? Darkshine, er, Blackluster(??) stop u r 2 good I cant handle it rn

oooohhhhHH OH OH OH OH PLS SHOW EVERYONE I WANT PLS THE MONSTER ASSOCIATION!!! PLS!! SHOW ME WIFE?? CADRES?? PLZ?? yo total side note but I LOVE Murata’s monster designs?? Every time I reread opm I just oogle at a new one I never noticed before they’re all so unique and good. Also At least 3 of them in this sequence look like pokemon i swear- lol the silence no applause, if that was a joke in the manga i totally missed it uuuuwaAAAAAAAAAAA SCREAMING SCREAMING I AM SCREAM CADRE YES YES ASDFGHJKL ARE YALL READY TO SEE T H A T FACE FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES THUS FAR???? HUH????

ew oh wait I actually feel bad for Awakened Cockroach, and he twitches after getting eaten oh noooooonono ew oh no dude im sorry no AAAAAAAAA WIFE HELLO oh their voices are so sad when they’re terrified for their lives I dont like it :[ ITS OK UR SAFE 4 NOW ILY PLZ BE CAREFUL AND STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY MEN

YES THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING IVE WANTED SO FAR THANK YOU SO MUCH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOK AAT THEMMMMMM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY TRASH SON I HAVE MISSED YOU OH NO MY EYES THERES WATER IN MY EYES HELP ILY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMYCYBORG SON MY HEART I WEAK GENOS BB PLS BE CAREFUL ILY TOO hey heres a WACKY and TOTALLY LoOnEy IdEa, what if,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHAT-IFF,,,,,,,,,,, everyone was HAPPY???? Crazy I knowww I just want the best for my sons and babies and children boys wives daughters loves and husband, is it so much to ask???

Oh my god he looks so Sad here please no Genos everything will be ok please don’t be reckless do not be reckless listen to Dr. Kuseno you fool

[SCREAMING] ASDFGGHJKL LOOKIT HIM EATING OH MY GOD MY BOY MY DELINQUENT SON GET BETTER SOON oh my god i started out fine this episode but its KILLING ME there are TOO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE i CANNOT BREATH

CHILD EMPEROR MY SON I LOVE YOU TOO BOFOI UR AN ASS oh my god please can you even TRY to be a good mentor for the kid???? Thats it Zombieman adopt him pls remove shitty Bofoi influence replace with Best dad man influence. ANYWAY ok that was a tangent huh oops sorry. Ok but look at him. Child Emperor is genuinely adorable and a sweetheart poor kid don’t lose your faith in adults.

Uh, the episode is running late still not to Garou yet either?? hmmmmmmmmm again I’m getting nervous are they gonna rush it?? lol the saitama throwaway OH OH FINALLY OMG MY HEART ISNT READY MY FAVORITE GAROU IN THE WHOLE SERIES OH MY GOD

im… im screaming… i love these two so much it hurts it does really. I was not prepared for how adorable it was possible to make Tareo either can I hug?? I must hugg?? And Garou’s voice is so calming and he’s being so sweet? I was really expecting to sound more… i dont know, whiney? Every time he shows up on the screen I love him more and more ffs

This is such a good shot. Desktop wallpaper material right here.

Oh my god, this moment. And the music is just yanking my heart strings stop.

Oh yeah, they interrupt right. I like these heroes and all, but none of them are particular faves the fact that I think SO MANY OTHER FAVES were are RIGHT before them this ep just kinda overshadows their existence for me. I think this is the ONLY time in the series where Garou goes up against heroes and i cheer for him 110%, don’t even feel a little bad about who he’s beating the shit out of, and that’s kinda messed up of me but thats how impartial I am towards all these guys?

Back to Garou and I love him. hhhhh.

He smak the table

He laughs. Oh no his laugh. OPM forcefully dislocated me from the underworld to watch this episode and has thusly YEETED ME TO HEAVEN THAT LAUGH. I really need Garou to be happy.

Do you see this man? Do you see him? I do and I’m crying thank you

Omg I got really caught up it watching them talk but the sparkles around death gatling whe Tareo was looking at them snapped me out of it. oi I cant handle this. Garou I want you to know that you have successfully turned the bad guy into the one everyone wants to win. You did it boy you did

WOAHMYGOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

OH MY GOD AND THE MUSIC IM SCREAMING

GAROU

YOU

ARE

AMAZING SON

like I know how this goes but I’m so anxious anyway the hhhhhhhhhhhhh the fight choreography is a little clunky but I don’t care OH ok cool Glasses actually kept his little spotlight nice but Garou GAROU PLS B CAREFUL OK except WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH DOING THAT LOOKS SO STUPID WHAT THE HELL?? HOLY SHIT IM GETTING DIZZY STOP wh- wh- wait no. NO IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET COME BACK PLEASE I NEED MORE WAIT NO UHG this is my reaction at the end of every episode when will I learn?????????????? never. The answer is never.

NO POST CREDITS STINGER and AS MUCH AS I LOVE GENOS’S FACE I already knew he would be in the episode next week. Yall I am so lost as to where the final episode will land. WTF.

This ep was a roller coaster oh my god. Non stop plot not that the tournament is done, and we saw like EVERY CHARACTER my feeble heart could not keep up. The ONLY thing that bothered me was part of the fight sequence at the end, like it was half drawn beautifully half animated so stiff and blocky ??? Threw me for a loop. But next week is only gonna get more intense??? I’m gonna guess we’ll get through the Elder Centipede fight??? But then what does that mean for the last episode??? I am full of SO MANY QUESTIONS??? I really don’t want the season to end yet, 12 eps is not enough. There’s only 2 more. Just. I’m not ready to let go of my bbs it feels like I only JUST got them… Well! Before I devolve into more of a blubbering mess, thanks yall so much for reading!!! As always, see yall next week!

#opmiss mumbling #i cant believe the season is ending so soon #just as shit is kicking tf up #s2e10 #opm #one punch man #live blogging #garou #saitama #genos #child emperor #metal bat #badd #black sperm #wind and flame

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sixcastappreciation · 5 years

Text

sixcago gave me my gay rights

alternative title: review of the evening sixcago show on july third

this is like almost 4k and its mostly just rambling but i need to express how much i love sixcago

like at least half of this is just me being gay so i bolded some of the things that i found really interesting and isnt just me like, freaking out

so to start off: holy shit. the energy of the entire show was amazing, it was really funny and fun and the acting/dancing/singing was on point like i cant think of a single complaint on the part of any of them.

so to get into the actual show

ex wives

when the curtain came up and the smoke started pouring out i actually felt my soul leave my body it was such a good moment

less than thirty seconds in brittney mack made eye contact with me and i swear to god my heart stopped and i honestly had trouble focusing on the rest of the song

i am not exaggerating that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth

shes............. literally so good im still shaking as i write this like three hours later

the third repetition of the rhyme where they all sound kinda pissed off? they nailed that

adrianna was so cute when she said “you wont try that again”

andrea holy shit. thats really a wrap on that

abby got that like, kinda head in the clouds thing that i feel like is janes Brand during this part

when he saw my portrait he was like JaaAAaaa

i love brittney mack

courtney knew what she was doing with that prick line. get it girl

anna has the most angelic voice i swear to god

the six of them work really well together on stage???? like i know its all choreo and stuff but you could Feel the energy that they had together it was good

oh man the choreo for the end. im so gay

intro thingy:

adrianna with that riff!!!!! we stan

annas face after “herstory” was iconic. she knew what she had done wrong

you couldnt hear the intro for maggie bc people were cheering so loud

the way adrianna says maria made me gay

abby also knows what she had to say. she knows how cursed janes sense of humor is and she was really playing it up

protestent............ protestant

“we’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” this made me laugh so hard i dont rly remember the next like thirty seconds because i was dying

“the biggest.... the firmest......... the fullest..............” im. i cant

no way

“maria” AGAIN adrianna please. please i cant handle it

“OH muy bien aHHah” not to be Lesbian On Main but fuck this was so cute

her emotion during the monologue was SO funny

it was peak, it was so good

she really gets it. i dont totally know what it is but this aragon monologue gets it

when she said “really trying” she did like, a motion. i cant go into more detail but Fuck

so after “move me into a convent” everyone like, gathered around aragon and adrianna did a

well idk what youd call it but a like

her entire torso swung around in a huge circle right before “i dont think i’d look that good in a wimple”

and idk what it was but that part just made me Lose It

adrianna had this way of making it all a little funnier?

like catherine is usually pretty Serious, i think but it felt like adrianna knew she was playing a character who was Like That, if you will, and was kinda leaning into breaking the fourth wall a little

i can probably elaborate if that doesnt make sense

you say its a pity cos quoting leviticus ill end up kiddiless all my life

she said that with such conviction goddamn

oh, he doesnt remember

this was so good

the “sh-”s were really funny

the fucking. i dont know what it is but the *ting*

holy shit

i cant put into words

how much i loved that part

the pause after “i’ll go” was............ expansive

i just checked it was 10 whole seconds

that doesnt sound long but it felt like forever

she went high on “end of my life” and thank u for mine adrianna hicks

the amount of no’s was impressive and im heart eyes for it

adrianna just had really good stage presence

like i caught myself looking at her during the dance breaks of all the songs when i wasnt looking at brittney

it was just so fun to watch her go!

dluh

during the intro of like “yeah, you know, the really important one” andrea was doing some Dumb Shit in the background

like i dont know exactly what it was but she was just like

idk like noodling around in the back

and i caught her eye and she like, smiled a little

the gasps the rest of them did were....... cute

then andrea busted out a full on fucking witches cackle

then she stuck her tongue out and looked like she was taking a selfie and it was so cute

like, her tongue was OUT

“not my thing” had the BIGGEST uwu energy of anything ive ever heard

i thought people were kidding when they said andrea boleyn had uwu energy

they were not

pret a manger barely came across as a real line it was more like, an experience

the sorry not sorry choreo. its so funny and cute and simultaneously cursed

the way andrea delivered her lines here was just

it was like, cutesy and fun but also kind of cursed

uwu

when she said “are you blind” andrea like, gestured to herself, in a like “look how hot i am” kinda way

which might be the standard? either way it made me laugh a lot

don’t be bitter/cos im fitter was the only line in the entire production said with a british accent and it fucking slayed me on sight one hit ko

i actually like that they changed “mate, what was i meant to do” to “wait, what was i meant to do” because

it implies that anne had no other train of thought than the one she was on and thats very funny to me

i think it fits w andreas portrayal too

everyone was like, fake crying when anne fake walked down the aisle and it was really funny imo

and as soon as she got to the end anne like, turned, yk?

bro just shut up

the entire audience gasped after that

andrea had actual like, panic on her face

then she led into “i guess he just really liked my head”

and there was a beat after that, where everyone laughed

it was long enough that everyone got the joke

then she mimed the blow job

her riff on “hell”? iconic

“wait, didnt you actually die” no jane she was beheaded but she was fine

abby seymour said dumbass rights she has the Dumbest Bitch energy god

“catherine of aragon had tragically died” catch adrianna looking like, yeah it was so sad for me, how terrible, right?

then boleyn goes off

the. fury, passion, anger, zest, contained in andreas “MASSIVE-”

“over my dead body” andrea gave her this look like, youre damn right it will be

heart of stone

oof

okay so the monologue

oof

“i was lucky. okay, i was really lucky” o o f

“edwina” is still cursed tho

i dont know what it was about this. i dont know if it was abby, or the dialogue, or just it being live but

this made it clear that jane had been Through It

like, this monologue came across (to me at least) as unquestionably a “woman who was abused trying to justify it to herself” kind of situation

“and that’s not because i was scared,” she said, wearing an absolutely terrified expression

this is where she started tearing up i think

okay i gotta take a moment here because

abby was fully crying before the song even started

like somewhere about halfway through her monologue she started tearing up

i was looking for it specifically

i wrote this before the last part so see above

so by the first fucking like of hos you could hear her voice breaking

holy shit ms meuller what the fuck

im not kidding who gave her the right

at the stagedoor she said that after this she was like, “well thats it for my makeup” when someone complimented her song

she is crying. the first chorus and she is actively crying. in the breaks between her lyrics you can hear her crying

abby went high on a couple of notes in here

she riffed on “truthfully” and it was, wow

she didnt go for the whistle tones which was, honestly? the most relatable thing in this entire show

but a couple of the other notes she went high on and they were so killer

there was a second or two of pause after the end where everyone just, absorbed things before the applause

i have some questions for abby about this actually because i dont know if its just because the monologue was different than im used to but

i just want to know if abby meant to have everything come off like That but god

the mental gymnastics jane is doing here are so intense

this performance genuinely changed how i listen to hos forever

i dont think i can ever peacefully listen to this song again

this song gave me so many layered emotions thank u abby mueller

haus of holbein

hans................................. *holbein*

the chaos

i honestly barely remember most of it it was

i had no idea who to be looking at

but i remember it being beautiful

i dont have the words to express how

fucking funny it was

the accents were hilarious

like they werent great german accents, but that made it far better

they were leaning into the ridiculousness of it all

the way abby said “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” had me on the ground

ive spent the last 24 hrs trying to figure out exactly why it was so funny and i think i got it

she dropped the german accent

and she straight up sounded like she was reading off the side effects of a pharmaceutical ad on tv

the freeze frame? legendary

anna and courtney (im pretty sure?) managed to look so genuinely offended that henry swiped left on them

your highness your highness your highness

god adrianna please

actually every h sound that came out of their mouths

but adrianna Got It

get down

oh god i gotta talk about “didnt live up to his expectations”

brittney like, half took off her jacket and gestured to her body and like, body rolled a bit and honestly? i was fucking dead

the sarcasm really jumped out here. brittney went off in the best way possible

she was fully fake sobbing right before “tragic”

fucking legend

brING me some pheasant!

the woof line is always a good moment but their facial expressions really made it work here

this song has the most outwardly complex choreo (ofc i cant speak to its actual difficulty) and every single one of them crushed it

brittney made eye contact w me again on “looking cute” and im deceased

oh god after “take my fur” she whispered “thank you. honestly” and gestured to herself again and like, i was dying

iirc brittney was like, skipping across the stage or something on “i look more rad” and snapped into position for “lutheranism”

we gotta take a moment to appreciate the operatic talent of that one “get down you dirty rascal” instead of the slo mo

like, ofc the slo mo is a good moment but

brittney went full opera and it was,

wow

shes got a voice on her holy shit

so much talent in such a tiny body

aCHYEAH

she picked the person sitting next to me to dance w her and

they did their cute little dance thing and then brittney gestured like, go sit down, and the person did, then stood back up and started dancing again

not like, in a bad way i dont think

it was super fuckin funny and after the song brittney was like “oh that was cute you think youre funny”

but i heard them talking at the stagedoor and like, brittney was chill it wasnt like a violation of anything

im not explaining it very well but it was really funny in person

everything about her on stage was just, so enrapturing

i dont have too many specific notes about this song because it would probably turn into just, me being gay, which is enough of this already

anyway! get down was good brittney mack is a stellar cleves

her fake crying is next level tho

the confrontation

boleyn, unprompted: i lost my head!

the beheaded cousins high fived after “nice neck” and like, stuck out their necks a bit it was so funny

seymours “i died”

we all know abby is gonna kill her line delivery

but GOD

and then after, she like, realized what she had said and struck a pose like, shit please still think im regal

the line itself was actually pretty, uhhhh, sad

theres something about boleyn roasting khoward in andreas voice

courtney with that “and your songs” had perfect timing

also “when will justice be SERVED” had such good punch to it

after she did that she like

rubbed her hand on janes face

and abby looked SO offended

theres something so, sincere about courtneys delivery of her roasts that i hadnt been getting and its SO much funnier to me

i forget exactly where but at some point boleyn aragon and howard were arguing

and in the background it really looked like seymour and cleves were having a normal conversation and i lost it like. they were just chattin

there were a couple moments of like, cleves and seymour interacting and it was interesting

aywd

courtney! mack! took! no! prisoners!

jesus christ

okay so i dont know if other howards do this or if it was just because i was seeing it live and up close and that made the difference but

for me the most compelling part of this howard was the fear

like yes there was the sadness/anger/etc like there was good emotion but

from the “he says we have a connection” re: henry, and then on, everything about courtneys body language just screamed that she was afraid

idk i might expand on this in a separate post because its a darker topic but yeah. holy shit that was emotional

not a single person clapped after the last line. they all waited until after “yeah, and then i was beheaded” before clapping

like the theater was dead silent. DEAD silent

it was like, so haunting because it was just courtney on stage at that point, with just the white spotlight on her, it was a Moment

im not sure i have the heart right now to get too deep into this

if it would be particularly interesting to anyone feel free to ask, im happy to get more into it but idk its just Emotional

actually this is already so long ima go for it

so on each “we have a connection” it was uhhhh parr and aragon (i think) who each put a hand on like, her clavicle

and for the first two verses she grabbed one of the hands and was like, flirty? ig

but on the one about henry seymour also put a hand around her waist and she like

she freaked out

and listening back to the audio i can

unpopular opinion perhaps but the actual emotion of her on stage didnt come thru in the audio

because it was so physical

like you could see how scared she was

which made it more relateable to me honestly

like she looked so so scared

it was heartbreaking

the confrontation part ii

oh BOOH OO MISTERESSES

“okay catherine, babes” is CUTE fight me

anna looked like, progressively more concerned as that beat went on, and then she just kinda like, deflated? it was really funny tbh

idk her parr feels Different than the parr im used to

during “oh im catherine parr i draw the line in arbitrary places” courtney was playing with her hair it was hashtag cute

BACKING VOCALS RIP CATHY PARR

idnyl

a cute little b flat major 7

yeah anna parr seems

hmm

she seems like she’s just, over henry

like from the start she just has no time for him

idk im Conceptualizing

anna uzele is

her voice is next level

she put survived in the “got married to the king became the one who survived” in air quotes which i think is an interesting note

anna got really physically into the “remember that...” bit of it and everyone in the back was also having a good time with it it was Good

andrea. she stuck her pointer finger between two of her other fingers on her other hand for the “my sixth finger” line and it was SO funny

khoward keeping aragon in line was

not the hot take i was expecting but nevertheless the one we deserved

both for “dissolution of the monasteries” and “well actually”

idk it was a cute character moment

one of *unsure, disgusted, vaguely annoyed* siiiIIIiix

abby was right in front of me and she looked SO uncomf

yeah, i read

iconique

andrea like, threw her head back for this line

the pause after “theres not much we can do about it now” is

painfully long and so so so funny

i was only really looking at brittney but she was like, arms down head up no body language it was SO funny

also her “yeah?” ended my life

she raised the mic up to her mouth while not moving an inch of the rest of her body

the part where they get all meta. has me dead

it was about halfway through this second part that i realized cleves had her coat back. i dont know when that happened. if anyone else knows when exactly anna of cleves gets her coat back after it gets taken off in get down please tell me. i genuinely want to know

this actually distracted me

i got vibes that they genuinely hated henry during this part

first off, mood

secondly, good

annas riffing. god.

she is so talented

dsfjksdf they all straight up left

six

the opening moment is really sweet and kinda funny

abby again killing it with janes cursed lines

courtney howard is actually so cute

when shes not being heartbreakingly sad that is

like her “bye!” was so cute

theyre all so supportive of each other its very cute

megasix

adrianna and abby both looked into my camera and like, i died

at the end anna and brittney were doing some dumb shit as they walked off stage and it was SO cute

after the show

i went to the stagedoor and it was a really fun experience! ive never done that before

it seemed like everyone was being pretty respectful and stuff, thank u six fans for being sane

i got four signatures on my program dklfjsldfjds

abby was such a sweetheart, we actually talked a tiny bit

i told her i loved her line delivery (because uhhhhhh i do) and she said that she tries to get in that comedic timing when she has Those Lines and like yeah

she was seriously the nicest

the ladies in waiting came out as well and everyone cheered for them and lets be real they DESERVE it

lemme sidebar here actually and talk about the ladies in waiting because

they killed it

bessie on the bass was living her best life at literally all times

brittney was also super sweet! i told her she had good energy (because uhhhhhh she does) and she was very nice about it!!!

i didnt really talk to anna or andrea but i got their signatures!

also speaking of my program im still losing my mind over “remembered for: headlessness” and “remembered for: staying alive”

thank u sixcago program

in conclusion! this was such a great+special experience!!! all of the actors were incredible, it was so wonderful

im also not claiming any of this stuff was unique to this performance or to sixcago in general this was just the stuff i noticed as i was watching it. if you clown on this post ill end u

#six the musical #sixcago #**#i typed up no way dluh idnyl and the after show part in a daze as soon as i got back #i got more of it filled in later and then i kinda lost steam #and im filling in the last bit almost a day later so yeah thats why some of its Like That #i ran out of energy for six/megasix but im not sure when ill get the energy so #and also this is Long as Fuck #and i have even more thoughts re: the cast and their portrayals #esp vs the west end cast portrayals

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saigebeaumont · 5 years

Text

- ̗̀ * ( robert sheehan + cismale + he/him ) have you seen ( benjamin ‘benjy’ magwitch ) walking around campus ? they are a ( twenty-three ) year old, studying ( political science ). we hear they are in ( rho pi rho ), and can be ( magnetic & irresponsible ), maybe it’s because they are a ( leo ). they sort of remind us of ( shiny red apples, walking on ledges, kaleidoscopes ), maybe we can find out more ! ( james + 19 + est + they/she ) * ̖́- + theatre/track

hi hello as u may have seen my name is james and this is my baby, benjy. i dont know how long this is going to get so pls bare with me

tw; fire?

gen. info

full name: benjamin ‘benjy’ henry magwitch / joshua hollowood but u will never catch him actually using his real name tbqh

nickname(s): think of a random name. any century, any gender, any amount of letters or lack thereof. that’s it that’s his nickname. previous aliases that he has claimed to be are - thaddeus, balthazar, dante, romulus, etc., etc.

b.o.d. - july 31st, age 23

label(s): the icarian, the blackhole, the insouciant, etc. etc.

height: tall

hometown: ???

sexuality: chaotically bisexual

bio. info

let’s try and make this short n sweet

so like. y’know when a faerie steals a human baby and replaces it with it’s own, weaker, inferior baby? benjy is the human baby in this case

except they weren’t faeries

dorothea and fawley were two...somewhat, in love, folks--who had really wanted to have a child of their own. when they did, finally, have their child--he was very sickly and small and neither of them wanted their child to be weak goddammit

so they did a switcharoo, like...switched at birth except i’ve never ever seen switched at birth, and ran off with this extremely rich family’s newborn baby instead!

dorothea and fawley were part of a circus, and thus, lil benjy was raised in a circus !! how cute.

needless to say he was raised in a very nontraditional setting, like, homeboy was homeschooled bc they were literally always travelling, around the country and once or twice out of country.

despite that, he never doubted that his circus family didn’t love him or anything like ?? yeah he never called his ‘parents’ mom or dad, but that’s bc it was like...everyone was his parent.

dorothea and fawley told benjy that his name will never define him, and he could be anyone or anything he wants to be.

this caused a tiny benjy to be CONSTANTLY changing his name. like, almost everyday he’d just declare a new name and everybody in the circus would call him that specific name. even when he did acts, he’d go by a different name every single time

this carried onto adulthood and benjy still doesn’t tell people his real name very often. sometimes they’re sort of normal names n other times they’re fucking bizarre.

when he was seven he declared his name was ‘sock’ for an entire month.

grew up doing a buncha odd lil jobs and roles in the circus, from being a lil handyman like fawley to being a magician’s assistant like dorothea. t’was a lil tiny animal tamer (before the circus stopped using animals in their acts because we don’t stan circuses like that no we do NOT) at some point but reeeaaally liked tightrope walking and things as such

also tried his hand at fire-throwing/etc. etc. but the like eighteen (minor!) burn scars across his body will tell u that it was not for him and he gave it up to pursue knife throwing tricks and juggling

wasn’t rly ever around ppl his own age, also never had a smartphone before he was like eighteen or so--he’s not old fashioned but he can definitely be behind on the times

also grew up listening to primarily older rock/folk music/whatever the fuck music his family created/his own music

that being said benjy is good w a guitar but bitch cannot sing. he sounds like a dying frog.

he also did a bunch of petty theft but that’s bc some of the other folk in the circus did it and he was like huh. looks like fun. bc benjy is thoroughly an idiot but more on that later. so he got some shit on his record but he got them sealed when he turned 18, like, asap

but. benjy is a dumbass. he committed ANOTHER petty crime, because the boy has addictive qualities, and he left some dna evidence bc boy’s got some mf hair

surprisingly, it wasn’t through his records that they found him via his dna but, rather, his real parents who did a whole ass dna kit thing for fun one day

this came as a shock to everybody involved, honestly, though tbh ? benjy didn’t care that much that he had parents who weren’t the circus, but that’s bc of his entire upbringing.

either way his birth parents wanted to like. y’know. meet their delinquent biological son and when they did they were like ‘woah woah woah wtf ur in a circus’ and he was like haha yeah

n that was...sort of it, for a while. benjy was 18, had his GED, n wasn’t planning on going to college at all.

the circus was still traveling, the world was all right, etc. etc, benjy maintained contact with his bio parents bc it was Polite to do

and then the circus burned down! somebody did a flaming knife trick when they weren’t supposed to and, long story short--the entire circus went up in flames. there were no victims, no worries, but their entire livelihood was gone and they were all effectively displaced.

when his Rich Biological Parents found out about benjy’s newfound predicament that he 100% was not responsible for whatsoever, they were like . . . . listen. we’ve got a Reputation to uphold, but we’ll send you to college.

he’s been here since he was like, 21, so he’s a junior i think ??

he’s majoring in political science but it’s like technically his first year as the major bc his freshmen yr he wanted to do anthropology and then he switched to mathematics and homeboy was nvr satisfied but now he thinks he wants to do smth w social welfare so he’s doing political science w theatre and public affairs as minors

personality

he’s got. a big personality

he’s got this sort of energy that attracts others but they don’t really know why bc holy shit benjy can be annoying

he’s just super intense ?? like the boy does not know how to calm down, he’s constantly moving around and being dramatic and sometimes whiny

pouts more than a person should averagely pouts

i wouldn’t call him a liar because he can be, very very blunt, and doesn’t know how to beat around the bush, but he likes telling half-truths simply to either confuse others or to just b a lil bitch tbh

he’s got big dumbass energy like okay he’s smart he just doesn’t apply himself very often and he just. does dumb things

gets into fights bc he’s a dumbass. like. he will purposely provoke ppl he doesn’t like, n when he’s drunk he’ll do it to literally anybody esp ppl he likes

also just. doesn’t know when to stop talking. can find ways to ramble about nothing, asks questions w the intent of being annoying, etc. etc.

his ~parents~ didn’t rly believe in modern medicine n they were just like ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away!’ so he’s got this obsession w apples. literally is always chewing on an apple or a toothpick or anything he can get his hands on. he’s like a teething toddler, essentially

probably the dumbass who plays wonderwall at a party tbh

okay but fun fact! he’s super nimble and just. cat-like, from all his yrs of practicing n performing tightrope walking. if he falls over it’s because he wants to fall over and if he falls over it’s bc he wants ATTENTION

he loves. being the center of attention? but he’s also content with being in the background if it makes sense. he just wants to be doing something, anything

anyways he doesn’t take shit seriously at all like, i don’t think he’s ever had a serious conversation in his life ?

big slut for parties. he loves partying, he nvr knew he loved partying until he went to ucla but he loves it

he’s got an addictive personality so like okay. he’s not Addicted Addicted to anything specific (besides nicotine) but he definitely has no problem with drinking n doing drugs Often.

i mean he’s reckless too he never knows when to stop, feels like he’s tryn to be the Superior boy but he’s not and he’s probably overcompensating nowadays to deal w the guilt of accidentally burning down his entire life

drives cars too fast, drinks too much, has no problem getting into heavier drugs

also okay on a lighter note the boy used to be addicted to cigarettes bc he started fairly young but hoo boy he’s now on that juul game

literally he always has a juul on him. spends all his money on juuls

he works as a florist n a gardener for extra cash even tho his bio parents send him money, just bc its one of the only things that really calm him down tbh ??

also i meant it when i said he doesnt tell ppl his real name, like, ever. at least his first name bc he loves his last name but ? u probably dont know him as benjamin or even benjy, just smth stupid like marcellus the magnificent or booboo the fool hahahsdfgh

did i mention he casually juggles bc i genuinely cannot remember lmao

uuuhh there’s more i’m sure but !! i have a really bad memory!

i also dunno if im keeping his fc but we will SEE

he’s basically like....still a five yr old child

OH okay so i remembered smth else

he’s essentially a nomad which means he hates being rooted to ucla so he’s usually off drivin’ around the coast bc he’s bored goddammit but he always comes back bc he’s a loyal dog

speaking of loyal dogs. he’s got commitment issues. but not commitment issues? it’s sort of like. he gets really interested in things/people, kind of focuses all his energy on that thing or person, and then one day wakes up and is just. terribly bored. tends to drop ppl like that, esp relationships, and he doesn’t think much of it bc it’s Normal for him

but believe it or not, if u call him in the middle of the night he WILL show up, or if u wrong him instead of him wronging u, he’ll still b endlessly loyal

like he’s shitty but he’s got a heart ?

also like i said. he is chaotically bi. both chaotic and bisexual and also the two combined.

he’s chaotic neutral in general

wanted connections ?? possibly ??

frat bros - [hulk hogan voice] brother. he needs them

general friends ! - if u dont hate him then u just. love him, man. no inbetween

exes - he’s probably got...a few of these, because his attention span lasts like a max of two weeks

hookups - they also dont tend to last very long just bc of how he is as a person, but y’know. they good while they last

ex-hookups, specifically

ex-friends - bc he’s an idiot

if u really want to u can bring in a circus pal but firstly idk how they’d afford school but honestly. we can work smth out. hmu [kissy face]

roommate - do they hate each other ?? who knows

bad influence - they only egg on benjy’s dumbass behavior

good influence - probably forces him to study for once, or take care of his dumb ass

idk what to call it but like. ppl who HE eggs on to be bad, is generally toxic to the other person

anything else u want [another kissy face]

#uclas:intro #hi sorry benjy and i are both messes

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thokage-archive · 6 years

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i'll bite, what's your opinion on BAKUGOU KATSUKI

BITCH IM READY 2 GOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

FIRST OF ALL……,,,,, SWEATEAL,

THATS MY SON! I WOULD D I E FOR HIM.

secondly, he is an extremely complex character & I beg all Bakugou haters to read what I’m about to write. I don’t think anyone needs to love him or kiss his ass by any means, let alone excuse his behavior towards Izuku. BUT! I beg of you to have some empathy for a fucking 15-year-old boy that has been through hell & back, is clearly emotionally stunted, obviously grew up in an emotionally manipulative, verbally abusive, and very likely, physically abusive household.

As someone who was raised in a household like that, and as someone who was both the bully & bullied growing up, I just need you to understand how complex he is & that he is worthy of redemption!!! (after all, he is a child, he should be granted the opportunity to grow & learn from his mistakes. I don’t think people should give up on him just yet, lord knows where I would be if the people in my life had given up on me at 15).

Deadass though…. let’s get into his fucking problems™ first because I am the last person on earth to act like he is perfect.

#1 problem - extreme anger issues

It’s made clear from the start of the series that Bakugou expresses himself best through anger and violence, something he obviously learned from his mother. Horikoshi, in fact, has SAID that him & Mitsuki are essentially the same person. So can we all just take a fucking moment & imagine Bakugou as a parent…. imagine someone with that type of irrational & immature anger parenting a child. How tf do you think that kid is going to turn out? How does a kid being raised by a verbally abusive parent grow up?

Well!!! Luckily, this series provides us with two very good examples,

a) bakugou katsuki

while on the opposite end of the spectrum is

b) todoroki shouto.

Everyone deals with abuse in different ways, especially different types of abuse. While Bakugou is dealing with abuse by taking his anger & projecting it out, therefore reflecting his abuser, Todoroki internalizes all of his emotions & is extremely distant and at times submissive for fear of punishment.

Bakugou wards off his weakness/being punished by his mother for being weak, by expressing brute strength through his anger & aggressiveness, thinking of things such as friends and feelings (other than anger) as weak. Todoroki hides his weaknesses from Endeavor by closing off his emotions from him completely, so much so that he is emotionally/socially stunted.

In short

Bakugou’s emotionally stuntedness = lifetime of anger being his only coping mechanism/outlet & a huge failure on his parent’s part to foster any other sort of emotions

todoroki’s emotionally stuntedness = lifetime of repressing all of his emotions from his father coupled with a lack of social interaction from peers

In both of their households….

losing = weakness

being #2 = weakness

emotional vulnerability = weakness

all of these weaknesses = punishable by verbal & physical means

The reasons why people respond the way they do to abuse is very varied. My best guess for why Bakugou responds the way he does leads me to problem #2

#2 problem - His Huge Ass Ego/Superiority Complex

Bakugou is…. a perfectionist. Much like Momo & Iida (he is behind only them in terms of class rank) meaning not only is he a huge physical threat, but also incredibly smart & a very hard worker in all aspects of his schooling. He takes his future as a hero very very seriously, just as serious as Midoriya or Todoroki. He very clearly feels a lot of pressure from his parents & other adults in his life to do well & succeed due to the flashiness of his quirk. Even at four when his quirk manifested all people could talk about was how cool it was & how lucky he was to have it, therefore gassing him up & already inflating his 4-year-old head.

All of the adults around him expected him to grow up and make something great of himself at only age 4, so he has quite literally been feeling that pressure for his entire life, at least as long as he can remember, which created this giant ego of his.

(ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT ADULTS & PEERS ONLY GIVING A FUCK ABOUT BAKUGOU QUITE LITERALLY FOR HIS BODY. LIKE…. GENUINELY ONLY FINDING HIM WORTHY OF BEING A HERO BECAUSE OF HIS QUIRK BEING “COOL”. BECAUSE IF THAT DONT FUCK WITH YOU GROWING UP, WHAT DOES???)

Now his ego, in terms of how he responds to things, is why he most likely does not recognize what he is going through as abuse. And we all know that from ego, stems immense pride, and Bakugou would be far too proud to admit he was being abused IF he recognized his abuse, therefore he would not seek help for it, or vent / open up to anyone about it. But his ego is also part of the reason why he doesn’t recognize what he is going through as abuse. Admitting, even to himself, that he is abused would seem weak to him. He would have to admit he is not perfect, nor is his home life. He would have to admit that it has affected him, and he would most likely view that as a flaw or defect in his personality. He would never want to be viewed as a victim. (hint hint, how did he handle being called the “victim” of the sludge monster incident? He doesn’t want anyone pitying him or trying to save him from anything. He wants to handle things on his own & thinks of it was weakness to seek out help)

He also uses his superiority complex as a defense mechanism. For example, he overhears Todoroki talking about Endeavor with Midoriya the day of the sports festival right? And he later tells Todoroki that he doesn’t care about his home life and that he should still give it his all against him. This is because Bakugou probably realizes subconsciously that he too has been through some shit with his parents (not necessarily recognizing it as abuse, but not what all other kids go through) & yet he gives it his all. He almost says this as if to prove to himself that he hasn’t let what he has gone through affect him. He thinks it has made him stronger & that he will beat Todoroki despite his hardships, therefore proving him to be superior. When Todoroki decides to not use his flames at the last second it sends Bakugou into a rage because he believes Todoroki finds him unworthy of his full power. He thinks Todoroki is looking down on him, seeing him as weak, and just embarrassed him in front of thousands of people. (This is, by the way, the second time we see Bakugou lose it over the prospect of him not being better than his classmates).

The FIRST time we see it is when he and Midoriya fight one another on opposing teams for All might’s Class. He believes himself to be better than all of his peers & he is absolutely CRUSHED when he discovers that perhaps that isn’t so. After Midoriya fights him and wins, his spirit is broken. We see him retreat to the back of the class & silently watch as the other teams face off.

His world is actively falling apart around him. For so long he was a big fish in a little pond. He was popular, he was powerful, he was looked up to and admired by adults and peers for his strength. He was talked up so high & told he was so special that for him to be anything other than the best was unthinkable. And yet, here was his childhood rival beating him in a test of strength and wits in front of their mentor and idol. And immediately following him was the son of the #2 hero showing his own display of brute strength & passing All Might’s test without batting an eye through the sheer power of his quirk

Bakugou is so incredibly saddened and shocked by the experience that he gives up, which is something he has never done in his entire life. Midoriya has to walk out after him once the test is over and ask him why he’s leaving, at which point Bakugou confesses, with tears in his eyes, crying, showing weakness in front of Deku, that he cannot keep up. That for once he is below someone and he cannot handle the feeling of failure that accompanies him not being number one.

He gets over this, being motivated by both Midoriya & All Might to continue. But nonetheless, this is the first instance we see of Bakugou showing genuine fear & hopelessness for his future because he realizes he is not as great as he thinks he is. For him, there is no greater fear for him to face than for him to acknowledge the fact he is not perfect. He is flawed, there are things for him to learn and people he must learn them from and experiences he must go through before he can be number one, and that reality terrifies him. He sees it as nothing but endless opportunities for him to fail. So he determinedly puts on a brave face and screams at Midoriya and All Might that he will be number one no matter what it takes, that he will rise above everyone, even if it kills him. (Which of course it damn near does considering he is fucking kidnapped by villains impressed with his strength/power)

NOW ON TO THE ABUSE PART OF ALL THIS BECAUSE HOLY FUCK I CANT BELIEVE PEOPLE ARE GENUINELY OUT THERE SAYING THIS AINT ABUSE & WRITING WHOLE ASS ESSAYS TO DISPROVE MITSUKI AS AN ABUSER ONLY SO THEY CAN WRITE HIM OFF AS A ONE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTER/ASSHOLE TROPE

Abuse is not only physical, and to dismiss emotional/mental abuse as not “real” abuse or merely “tough love” makes you an abuse apologist, sorry not sorry.

The feeling I get from the few interactions we’ve had with Mitsuki, and the times Bakugou has mentioned his home life, is that the abuse he faces is overwhelmingly mental/emotional. He does, however, suffer some physical abuse too, which is essentially confirmed in this new chapter, it’s just unlike the abuse Todoroki suffers from.

Todoroki’s abuse is blatant, its beatings, starvation, intense physical regimes, etc. The abuse Bakugou suffers is far more subtle and sadly enough, far more common. The abuse he is subjected too is what most of y’alls parents probably just call “good parenting” or parenting the old fashioned way, aka when most peoples parents were shit & everyone thought it was cool to beat their kids into submission & scream at them for hours and hours over simple things. (Sadly, a product of hypermasculinity and misogyny being the overarching influences in parenting tactics, especially in households with a male head. In this case, however, Mitsuki, a woman, is the abuser. So most of y’all tryna ignore it like women can’t be abusive, or violent how men can).

Her physical abuse most likely differs drastically from Endeavors as well. Parents who genuinely believe themselves to not be abusive, but just tough on their kids because they love them or whatever, rarely hit their kids as openly as Endeavor hits Todoroki. We see her slap him on the back of the head, which in another situation & with more context, could be taken as playful, not abusive. But again, all depending on the force of the hit, the intent behind it, how often these sorts of things, occur, and if Bakugou is comfortable with it. How he responds indicates that he does not like it. Therefore she is laying her hands on him in a violent manner, obviously without consent.

A parent or not, “disciplining” your child or not, that is wrong. And I’m more than positive it happens frequently and in different ways after the new chapter. She is most likely a believer in spanking, which do NOT even get me started on that (my parents literally used to tell me I was fucking lucky to get beat with a belt and not an electric cord), spanking is abuse and I don’t wanna fucking hear it isn’t. You shouldn’t feel the need to beat your kids in any way shape or form to get them to listen to you. She also probably digs her nails into his arm or some shit when he says something she doesn’t like in public, or just generally is rough with him when she disagrees.

Mentally/emotionally she does not come off as the type to apologize to a child, admit she is wrong to a child, or have a rational conversation with her child rather than beating them. Again, since when has Bakugou himself ever done those things? (and according to Horikoshi, we all know he is a carbon copy of her before entering yuuei).

Gaslighting is when the abuser places blame on a victim by making them question themselves or attributing the situation to some imaginary fault of the victim. In this instance Mitsuki blames Bakugou for his own kidnapping, calling on his supposed weakness as the source of the problem.

She not only BLAMES Bakugou for his kidnapping, calling him weak and pathetic, but does so in front of his teachers, his idols, degrading him in front of the very people he wants to impress. And for someone like Bakugou, that is probably one of the biggest hits his ego can take and it is most likely killing him inside from shame and embarrassment.

In fact, I KNOW it is because we later see him TELL Midoriya that he blames himself for All Might’s fall. He thinks he was too weak to handle the villains and so he had to be saved (something he hates having to admit) which lead to All Might’s battle with All for One and eventual retirement as a hero. He literally takes his mothers words and internalizes them to the point of breaking & then expresses them the only way he knows how: violence, by fighting Midoriya.

So not only do we have concrete evidence of emotionally abusing him by calling him names intended to hurt him, but also of her mentally abusing him by placing the blame on him, causing him to question himself & his capabilities/role in the situation. She makes him genuinely believe that he should have been able to do something about the traumatic experience of being kidnapped by a group of known murders…. uuuuuhhhh does that scream totally normal parent to you? She is not even remotely concerned for his safety…. only how it looks, only with how weak he is. Does that um, cough cough endeavor cough, remind you of anyone? No? Okay.

Which back to Bakugou and Todoroki, this new chapter killed me because Todoroki is a sweetheart and he really knows what he went through was fucked up. I can see him trying to get Bakugou to understand in the future that violence is not the way to get what you want in life, no matter how small the act, hurting someone, emotionally, mentally, or physically is not how you get people to do what you want or agree with you. Even though that’s all Bakugou has ever known, he just never recognized it as morally wrong the way Todoroki did, most likely because it was much more subtle & normalized in Bakugou’s household.

That all being said…. Bakugou has made many mistakes and I’m not kidding when I say he is a carbon copy of Mitsuki. I don’t want to go so far as to call what he does to Midoriya abuse because that implies a fundamental misunderstanding of his character in my opinion, but like…. bottom line… he abuses & bullies Midoriya severely.

Bakugou is a classic case of an abuse victim turning into an abuser. However, he is a child, unlike Mitsuki. He was raised by someone who taught him that abuse is okay and normal. He has not yet matured or been able to view life through any other lenses. His parents have failed in teaching him healthy coping mechanisms, other adult influences in his life, such as previous teachers, have never discouraged his behavior either, therefore he merely copies what he knows. So I understand him not knowing any other ways to deal with someone like Midoriya, his antithesis, and rival.

In sociology this semester we learned about a famous poem by Dr. Dorothy Law Nolte, a family counselor & writer. The poem focuses on the ways in which children develop due to what circumstances they are raised under. It goes like this:

(Lines bolded reminded me most of Bakugou, lines italicized reminded me most of Izuku, lines with both… reminded me of both)

If children live with criticism, They learn to condemn.

If children live with hostility, They learn to fight.

If children live with ridicule, They learn to be shy.

If children live with shame, They learn to feel guilty.

If children live with encouragement, They learn confidence.

If children live with tolerance, They learn to be patient.

If children live with praise, They learn to appreciate.

If children live with acceptance, They learn to love.

If children live with approval, They learn to like themselves.

(Full poem)

I kid you not in the middle of class all I could think of was Bakugou and Midoriya and how this poem so beautifully contrasted and compared them.

Midoriya is the exact opposite of Bakugou. Where Bakugou is strong, powerful, fierce, influential, popular, admired, confident, loud & aggressive. Midoriya is weak, small, quirkless, quiet, timid, mumbling & stuttering, friendless, self-conscious, and not very vocal. They are completely different in all aspects, Midoriya represents everything Bakugou strives to not be. He is useless, weak in Bakugou’s eyes. Something he has been told his whole life to not be, and thus he does not want to associate with Midoriya.

However, the thing that scares Bakugou most about Midoriya is how much they can relate. They were, after all, friends. Best friends as children, they had the same dreams and shared common interests. Their similarities are only on display even more so as they both get into yuuei and progress throughout the year.

One of the most important moments in Bakugou’s life is when Midoriya reaches out to Bakugou after he falls. Midoriya the small, shy, quirkless kid, asks if Bakugou, the great, powerful, destined to be a hero kid, needs his help. As if that is something he would even want, let alone need.

I’m sorry but no 5 year old is going to get an idea like that on his own, you can see where Mitsuki’s thinking has already taken root, whereas Inko’s teachings have taken root in Midoriya. Up until this point in time, Bakugou was content with just allowing Midoriya to tag along with him, be a follower, quirkless or not. But this instance Bakugou clearly saw as a challenge for leadership, a questioning of authority. At five years old, he is already so distrusting of the sincere intentions of those surrounding him that he makes it his mission to let Midoriya know that he is above him and will not be surpassed by someone so weak.

It just makes me so fucking sad to see how twisted Bakugou’s logic is due to Mitsuki & the constant almost coddling of his ego that adults in his life have encouraged endlessly. It really isn’t until he meets Aizawa that an adult makes an effort to change that mindset in him. And slowly but surely, along with the help of Bakugou’s probably first real genuine friends that he views as equals and not just tagalongs, he is beginning to change his thinking & learn from his mistakes. Kirishima, Sero, Kaminari, and Ashido are all a wonderful influence on him and I genuinely think with their advice & trust he will be able to change his ways in the future, along with the guidance of All Might and Aizawa.

And let’s not forget Midoriya, he needs to apologize to him, sincerely, and because he wants to, not because he is pressured into it by anyone. I have high hopes for him and his future relationship with Midoriya, but I don’t think it’ll be possible for them to be best friends again. I just hope Bakugou can realize that he was wrong for treating Midoriya the way he did when they were growing up and can put aside his ego for five minutes to correct his wrongs as best he can. I’m sure it will be in the far far future though because he still has a lot of growing and learning to do. No one is going to just be able to put aside an almost decade-long hatred for someone & admit they were in the wrong, over the course of a year. But still… I have hopes.

All in all, I really really love Bakugou. I have some extremely parental feelings towards him having seen all the shit he has gone through & the many failings he has endured from the adults surrounding him. I just want for him to embrace his friends and place at yuuei and change his behaviors so that he can be easier on himself & others. He deserves to feel that sort of peace.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. Bakugou Katsuki is deserving of love, friends, second chances, and a shot at redemption.

109 notes · View notes

sugatsby · 7 years

Text

I Spy With My Little Eye

Group: GOT7 Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader Rating: Fluff Prompt: Using one of the practice rooms in secret never got you into any trouble, but tonight you got caught by JB. Word count: 3,246

The bass of the music is felt all throughout your body, but you don’t care. You keep moving your body to the beat however you see fit. You let the music take over, waving your hips from one side to the other whilst your eyes are closed. When you open them up again, your sweaty reflection is staring back at you from the mirror-covered wall in front of you. Your hair is a mess, your face is red from exertion, but you don’t even notice all that, too focused on the way the music makes you feel, expressing it with your body movements.

Dancing has been your life ever since you can remember, taking ballet classes when you were a mere toddler to taking jazz and breakdance classes throughout middle and high school. You never saw it as something which you could dedicate your life to. You always saw it as a hobby, a past time activity, afraid that turning it into a job would take the fun out of it. Also, it’s not as if you were good enough to be a professional dancer, you just enjoyed finding out new ways to move your body to the music.

When the song ends, you are brought out of your concentration. Letting out a sigh, you walk over to the back of the studio where you put down your stuff earlier this evening. Taking a sip of your blue water bottle, you walk over to the sound system. You scroll through your favourite dance playlist on your phone attached to the system with a cable, trying to decide which song to dance to next.

After catching your breath, you press play on one of your favourite songs before putting aside your water. It’s a song with an R&B vibe, which you absolutely love, being able to get lost in the percussion and melodies completely. You walk towards the middle of the room, getting ready to clear your head once again.

The beat is thumping, causing a smile to appear on your face. You’re thankful of the advantages your workplace offers. You’d never used a sound system quite like this before you came to work here. Well, work… It technically wasn’t a real job. It was more of an internship or traineeship to prepare you for a real job. You had never expected to end up working at the finance department of one of Korea’s biggest entertainment companies though. But you weren’t complaining, it was the opportunity of a life time. And that’s exactly why you didn’t want to get caught using one of the dance practice studios without permission.

You’ve been sneaking into one of the empty dance studios for about two weeks now. It proved to be quite easy, a lot of them being vacant late at night, or sometimes in the early mornings. But you weren’t going to risk getting caught, your job being on the line. That’s why you always made sure that at least the adjoining studio rooms were vacant as well.

Like many of the other nights you sneaked back into the building, there was no one to be seen in the entire hallway of this floor. But little did you know that you weren’t going to be alone for long.

A few minutes away, Jaebum had been growing restless. He didn’t know what was wrong, all he knew was that he had a schedule with the rest of the guys early in the morning and that he had to fall asleep soon, if he wanted to get some sleep. But he just couldn’t relax, too many thoughts going through his head. He needed to get out of the dorms to do something else, to clear his mind. So logically, he grabbed his bag, told the guys he’d be back later and was on his way to one of his favourite practice rooms in the company building to blow off some steam.

But his plan turns out harder to be able put into practice when he arrives at the JYP Entertainment building and he hears music coming from ‘his’ room. He rushes to the door, curious to see who just had to have a late night practice session in the space he considered to be GOT7’s practice room. Glancing through the small window in the door, he freezes, his hand resting on the door handle.

That’s when he sees you, your back towards him, still in the middle of your dance routine. Something about the way you move, lights a spark inside of him. You’re so entranced that when he’s able to steal a glance of your face through the mirror he cannot help but smile. Your dancing is infectious. The passion you show when dancing reminds him of why he started all of this, his bad mood disappearing into thin air.

He cannot take his eyes off of you, so he decides to just keep staring at you for a couple more minutes. You’re moving so gracefully, your moves are controlled, and just when he expects you to keep going at the same pace, you mix it up by throwing in some quick footwork. All of it makes him wonder why he hasn’t noticed you before. To think of it, your face doesn’t seem familiar at all. He wasn’t aware of JYP hiring any new trainees lately…

You’re almost at the end of your dance routine when you get pulled out of your concentration by the hairs in your neck standing up. The feeling catches you off guard, but right when you start thinking about why you’re feeling like being watched, you take a step to your left, but your lower leg doesn’t cooperate with where your foot was supposed to be and you almost twist your ankle. Knowing you have week ankles, you let yourself fall, not wanting to risk tearing any ligaments in your ankle, like when you injured it a couple of years back. You crash against the floor a little more harshly than expected, pain reverberating through your right hip. But your pain is soon forgotten when you’re pulled from your thoughts by a male voice.

“Oh my god! Are you okay?”

You flick your head up, your gaze meeting two concerned eyes staring back at you. The male bending over your figure is obviously as shocked as you are about his sudden interruption as he hesitatingly straightens back up. “Sorry, I was just…” he says while pointing back to the door he just came through. His gaze moves from the door back to you. “I… Are you okay?”

You let your eyes go over the man in front of you. His dark brown hair is hidden behind a snapback, leaving you with a clear view of his beautiful dark brown orbs. He nervously rubs the back of his neck. Everything about him seems a little awkward, but he still manages to let the corners of his mouth curl up in a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” you nod slightly, when he offers you his hand. You grab it, getting up from the floor with some difficulty with the throbbing pain in your hip. “Thanks.”

You’re hesitant to say anything else, afraid of getting scolded by the man you recognise as one of the idols working at JYPE. Not wanting to get into any more trouble, you limp over to the back of the room to grab your stuff in order to leave the room as quickly as possible.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

You turn back to him slightly. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just fell, nothing serious,” you ensure him.

“I know, I saw…” he blurts out, making you cock up an eyebrow, curious as to how long he had been standing behind that door. “You’re a really good dancer,” he continues when he notices the knowing look you’re giving him.

You smile at the floor, unable to hide your joy as one of the better dancers of JYPE compliments your skills. “Thanks.” You move your gaze upwards. “What are you doing here anyway? Aren’t you supposed to be at the dorms?”

Jaebum cocks his head, looking confused. So, you knew who he was?

“What?” you ask when he doesn’t answer.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head, before moving closer. “I couldn’t sleep, so I came here to clear my head.”

“I guess I’ll get out of your way then,” you say before continuing to collect your things, but Jaebum stops you. “Wait.” You turn around once again, facing him. Jaebum’s curiosity gets the better of him. “Who are you? I’ve never seen you here before.”

You lower your gaze, contemplating whether or not to tell him about your nightly escapades to these practice rooms. “That’s because,” you sigh, your gaze moving upwards again, meeting his. “I’m not supposed to be here.”

Jaebum looks at you confused. “What do you mean? Did you sneak in here?”

You forcefully shake your head, not wanting him to get the wrong impression. It’s not like you’re an obsessed fan, sneaking into the buildings of random entertainment companies. “No, no, I work here!” You wave your hands in front of your face. “I’m just not supposed to be here.” You point at the floor. You continue, Jaebum’s face still showing signs of bewilderment.

“I work at the finance department,” you confess, squeezing your eyes shut, suddenly embarrassed by your day job, which you find, upon revealing, will always burst the bubble of anything that people could find remotely interesting about you.

When you open your eyes again, Jaebum looks at you, bewildered, the smile tugging around his lips hinting at his amusement. “JYP’s finance department?”

You nod. “But please don’t tell anyone I was here,” you beg, a pleading look in your eyes. “Please, I can’t lose my job.” You bend down, your gaze moving to your shoes. But before you can say anything else, you’re interrupted by a genuine laugh.

When you look up, you find Jaebum beaming at you. “It’s fine,” he chuckles. “Who am I to tell on you. I don’t mind you being here if you’re not bothering anyone.”

At those words, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Your frown makes way for a hesitant smile. “Thank you! Thank you so much.”

Jaebum walks past you and sits down on the black leather couch. You follow his movements with your eyes, unable to tear them away from his lean, white t-shirt-clad figure, the veins on his arms prominent when he pulls his lower leg towards him, placing it down on his other knee. You’re pulled out of your reveries when he calls out once again.

“So… How long have you been dancing?”

You swallow the lump that’s developed in your throat as you bring yourself to walk over and sit down next to him. “Since I was about five years old,” you smirk, reminiscing the times when your mom walked you to your ballet classes every single week.

Jaebum looks a little shocked. “Five? Really?”

“What?” you interject. “Did it look like I have less experience than that?” you ask him jokingly.

“No, no! It does!” he exclaims, laughing. “I was just surprised! I mean, when someone has been dancing for that long, you wouldn’t necessarily find them working at the finance department.”

You look at him, an indignant look in your eyes. “Are you really making fun of my job, pretty boy?! Let me tell you, not everyone can be an idol!”

Jaebum lets out a laugh at your fake outburst, and smiles at you before holding out his right hand. “Im Jaebum.”

“Y/N.”

You ended up talking with Jaebum for a couple of hours on end, immediately hitting it off. You talked about how you ended up at JYP, how he ended up at JYP. About music, his members and, ultimately, the reason he came to the building tonight. He told you about how the last comeback had just ended and the next one is coming up soon, and about how he struggles managing pleasing both the manager and keeping the rest of the group motivated through tiring dance and vocal practices.

“Normally I just come here to dance, to clear my head,” Jaebum says, his eyes focused on the mirror on the other end of the room.

“But?” you coax, a playful tone in your voice.

He turns his head towards you, a smile appearing on his lips. “But I guess this helps too.”

A comfortable silence appears between the two of you. “You know, I can’t remember when I had the time to talk to any of my family members in between all our schedules,” Jaebum starts. “And talking to the members isn’t always an option.”

“Sometimes you just need to do that,” you agree. “To vent about nothing. Or everything. And it doesn’t even matter to who, just as long as there’s someone listening.”

Jaebum turns his head, locking his eyes into yours, a soft smile on his face. It tells you he’s silently agreeing with you. In turn you let out a sigh running your hands over your face.

“I guess I should be going,” you announce while standing up. “I don’t have as bad as a schedule as you, but I need to work tomorrow morning too,” you joke.

“Sure,” Jaebum laughs. “Good night!” he calls out behind you when you walk towards the door, slinging your bag over your shoulder, causing you to smirk.

“Good night, Jaebum.”

You end up walking home tonight in order to clear your head of the newly found thoughts roaming around your brain after talking with Jaebum. The night air is cool to the touch, a pleasant chill causing bumps to arise along your skin.

Jaebum was nice, nicer than you would’ve expected him to be. As soon as you saw him bending over you, asking you were all right, you were both intrigued and scared. Scared you were found out and that he would tell you to get lost. But he was different. He had this certain thing about him, even though he wasn’t dressed up like he would normally be within his line of work. You get why he does what he does, his aura told you enough.

After arriving at home, you take a nice and hot shower before crawling into your bed. You’re trying to get comfortable in the dark when, all of a sudden, something crosses your mind: to set an alarm for tomorrow morning. You feel around the little nightstand next to your bed blindly, but your phone is nowhere to be found. And that’s when it hits you. Your phone is still plugged into the sound system in the practice room!

You mentally curse yourself for being so irresponsible with your things before pressing some buttons on your old digital alarm clock, changing the red numbers to a six and two zeroes. At least you’ll have some time to sneak into the practice studio to grab your phone before arriving at your own desk.

The following morning you tried to go back to the practice room from last night, but unfortunately for you, a group of trainees had walked in there minutes before you, already having started their dance practice. You reluctantly went up to your desk on the ninth floor. You would just have to survive the rest of the day without your phone, hoping it’ll still be there once you return to retrieve it later today.

Work has been tedious since this morning, especially without your phone, causing you to stare at the spreadsheet on your computer screen for over twenty minutes at a time without moving the cursor. Until an unexpected knock on the partition of your office cubicle pulls you from your depressing thoughts.

“Hey…”

You quickly look up to find one of your co-workers standing next to you, acknowledging her presence. “Hey, Chaeyeon. What’s up?”

“Um…” Chaeyeon seems hesitant. “So… there’s someone looking for you.”

At her words, your heart skips a beat. Who? What for? All possible scenarios go through your head. Are you about to be reprimanded for your secret escapades to the practice rooms downstairs? Did someone find your phone down there? Was Jaebum the one that told on you? Will you be able to keep your job?

You cough, clearing your throat. “O-oh… Uh, and w-who would that be?”

The brunette next to you shakes her head, a smile appearing around her lips. Her eyes contain a curious spark, and something about the way she evades your question makes you even more nervous. “I told him to wait in the hallway,” she says with a wink before walking back to her own post.

You reluctantly get up and make your way through the open plan office, to the adjoining hallway where Chaeyeon told you your visitor was waiting for you. You’re wondering who it is. It surely isn’t one of your supervisors. They would’ve just walked right up to your desk if they wanted to speak to you about something. But your questions are answered soon enough as you turn the corner, and you see a familiar silhouette standing in the hallway.

“Jaebum?” you call out to the tall figure as you walk up to him. He turns his head towards you when he hears your voice. “What are you doing here?” you whisper, trying to keep your voice down. You look around, afraid of attracting the unwanted attention of others.

A mischievous smile tugs around Jaebum’s lips. “What? I can’t pay my favourite intruder a little visit?” he jokes, using his hand to ruffle your hair.

“Don’t say that! I could get into trouble,” you whisper. “O-or am I already in trouble? Is that why you’re here?” A wave of slight panic takes over, but is quickly eliminated by the handsome male’s reassuring smile.

“No, you’re not. I came here to give you something, actually,” he explains before fishing a familiar device out of his pocket.

“My phone?”

At your surprise, Jaebum’s smile seems to grow even bigger. “I wanted to give it back sooner, but I didn’t really know how to contact you,” he jokes, earning a chuckle from you. “You really didn’t give me much to work with, you know!”

“I know,” you smirk. “I was hoping to keep a little bit of a low profile. You know, in case you did decide to rat me out.”

Jaebum feigns offence, unable to keep a slight smirk from appearing on his face. “Did you really have that little faith in me?!”

You shake your head at his antics, before apologising. “Okay, okay. Let me buy you a coffee some time, to make it up to you.”

The brunette’s face lights up at your unexpected proposal. “I’ll keep you to that!” he says with a wink, before turning around and making his way back to the elevator. “I’ll call you!” he calls out before the steel doors move in front of him, until he’s no longer in your field of vision.

You too turn around to go back to your own job. Walking back to your desk, you look at your phone, mulling over Jaebum’s last remark. Could he…?

Opening the contacts menu once you get back in your office cubicle, you cannot help but let out a snort, turning heads of some co-workers, when seeing the new addition to your contact list.

Pretty boy J <3

#ff #fanfiction #fanfic #got7 scenarios #kpopwonderlandtag #jb #jaebum #jb ff #jb fluff #jaebum fluff #jaebum ff #got7 scenario #got7 ff #got7 #I Spy With My Little Eye #Sugatsby

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cyjprojectarchive · 7 years

Text

blurry | bambam

prompt: inspired by bammie’s instagram selfie hot dayum could i not contain myself, so i made an imagine abt it B) here it is if ya wanna get attacked by our bamchinja. c; group: GOT7 pairing: bambam, you genre: fluff words: 3185 note: sorry theres so many spelling errors its currently 3:18 am and im tired as heq ill edit this tomorrow thanku ㅠㅠ

“Dude, you got this.”

“Yeah, well, what if I don’t? Our asses are on the line here,” Bambam’s worried tone reverberates from your phone’s speakers. You have it on loudspeaker mode because you were in the mood for some mint chocolate ice cream. You just got home from classes today and boy was it scorching hot outside.

“Yes, you do. And no, they’re not. You’ve been practicing nonstop for this comeback, Bam, I think you have it all down by now,” you repeat a little louder than usual as you open the freezer and take out the pint of sweet and cooling treat.

Setting it down on the kitchen counter, you cap the lid off and start digging in with your spoon. “And why are you so nervous? You’ve never asked me advice on how to handle stage fright ever since we knew each other,” you comment through the melting of your favorite dessert inside your mouth.

“Are you eating ice cream from the pint again?” He suddenly asks, a tone of amusement lingering in his voice. You automatically hug the thing of ice cream closer to your stomach, eyes peering at the phone resting near you. “How’d you know?”

“Just a hunch.” You can just hear him shrugging smugly.

“You wish you were here,” you retaliate, scoffing as you take another scoop. You make sure he captures the sound of you scraping the soft and gooey substance of sweetness. You know you should be encouraging him right now, but teasing the boy you’ve known for quite a while now is always a treat in its own way.

“I do. I do wish I were there,” he agrees somewhat seriously. You’re unsure whether he was talking about having ice cream or something else, but you brush it off, not wanting to think about such complications right now.

You put the spoon down and attempt to bring the previous conversation back. “Really, though, Bam. You’re going to do amazing, as always. Don’t worry too much about it, alright?” You tell him earnestly. If Bambam had never asked for any reassurances with you before, maybe this time he really needed it.

A slight pause occupies the air until you hear him exhale shortly on the other end of the phone call. “You’re right, you’re right. That makes me feel so much better. Thanks, fam,” he answers with a hopeful tone.

Shaking your head, you protest, “No problem. And don’t ever call me ‘fam’ again, fam.”

“Would you like to be called something else then, hmm?” There he goes, back to his usual zany self which you can’t help but blush about…

Did Bambam just make you blush?

“I would like you to call me when I’m not busy enjoying my ice cream,” you tell him, going back to eating your lunch for the day.

“You didn’t even start eating ice cream when I called you in the first place!” Bambam interjects and you soon chuckle at his predicament. You hear a few conversations bubbling up in the background, even recognizing Yugyeom’s whining to one of the hyungs, maybe Jinyoung, you’re not quite sure.

You move your position to the couch, setting down your phone on the coffee table. You hear a distinct voice referring to Bambam and he responds, but you’re too focused on your ice cream to eavesdrop.

“I have to go in a few. What’re you going to do afterwards?” He finally addresses you. You ponder his question until you realize you’ve forgotten something really important.

“Shoot! I have a major presentation for my History class tomorrow!” Spoon hanging in midair, you slowly place the ice cream pint next to your phone, feeling guilty of even opening it up.

“And you haven’t started on it yet,” Bambam muses. You groan in agreement and slap your forehead lightly. “No, because I thought it was happening next week.”

“Too distracted with me, huh. I have that effect,” the boy on the other end suggests, a smirk almost evident in his voice. You laugh mockingly, but the anxiety in you keeps rising. “Guess I have something to keep me distracted while you’re performing,” you conclude, probably feeding his ego even more.

“That’s good, then, at least it’s not another guy,” he jokes and you roll your eyes. “Whatever, snake,” you shoot back.

“Anyway, I got to go, we’re shooting in a few,” he tells you, almost begrudgingly. “Hey, I really appreciate you answering the call.”

You smile at his genuine reply. You rarely see this side of Bambam whenever you guys are together, or even just talking on the phone. You feel a sense of warmth in your heart, and you honestly don’t know what to make out of it. But you don’t let it get to you- not yet.

“Of course. You know I’m here,” you mutter softly.

“And me too,” he chimes. Another voice, presumably Jaebum, informs him about getting ready, so you anticipate Bambam’s good bye. “Now I really need to go. I’ll message as soon as possible.”

“For sure, Bam. Good luck! You never fail to do your best,” you add, making sure he’s still reassured. Bambam thanks you again, and the call ends.

Now, onto cramming that damned History presentation.

Adding a few finishing touches here and there, you finally have a decent 10-slide presentation for your class tomorrow morning. Stretching your arms upward, you let out a relieved sigh, yawning in the process. Making sure that the file has been saved to your laptop, Google Drive, and USB, you turn your laptop off and trudge your way into the comfort of your bed.

The digital clock on your nightstand reads 11:24 pm and you feel quite proud for completing a procrastinated project before the day ends, roughly speaking. You ease your way into the duvet, grabbing your phone to the side for a late night session on a few of your social media accounts.

You go to your Messages and remember Bambam’s call from earlier. You wonder whether the performance was a success- it probably was, and Bambam just had cold feet, but you already texted him two hours ago complaining about History being your worst subject ever and how lucky you are it’s your first class of the day. You type a new text, informing him of your success nonetheless and hoping he had a fun time today as well.

Before you can hit the send button, a chat bubble appears on Bambam’s end first. Your eyes widen at the screen and your lips part in surprise.

“What the…” You utter under your breath, hands suddenly sweating at the sight of your phone, Bambam’s selfie showing on the bright screen. You squint your eyes to confirm what you’re seeing is right.

You hit backspace on your keyboard and type a new message with quick and shaking thumbs.

Wrong number, headass.

He reads it immediately and your heart skips a beat. Your eyes cannot seem to focus on anything else other than the blurry selfie of a jet black haired K-pop idol. You find yourself mesmerized at his cerulean contacts and drawn to the straight and full pink lips. Breath hitching, you mentally urge yourself to stop giving in to your thoughts.

Undeniably, Bambam broke every puberty challenge out there, and not a day goes by without you reminding him that- much to his satisfaction. But you complimenting him was always out of good faith as good friends, nothing more and nothing less.

However, recently, things have been a bit blurry between the two of you. It doesn’t help that his constant teasing makes you more conscious of the type of relationship you guys are slowly developing.

And this selfie isn’t helping.

lmao what do you mean that is supposed to be sent to my best friend

You share a room with Yugyeom. Just show it to him in person lmao

not himmm, my OTHER best friend. u. anyway, like what u see? ;)

WTF are you talking about, you never send me selfies before???

aww is it that bad, b? :,( it’s just a lil smth to motivate u with ur presentation. hows that going for u, btw?

Again, with the weird ass nicknames, Bam lmao? And you’re just a few minutes too late bec I’ve finished, but thanks for trying.

Also, no, it actually looks really good. :)

pshhh u like itttt bb ;) oh, hey thats great. u should go 2 sleep by now.

and really? don’t play me, bb :,(

It does! Your face is blurred, so it’s perfect.

wow bye

You chuckle to yourself at the playful conversation. Typical Bambam, but you still can’t help but be confused at any underlying message of all this. Or maybe there’s not any and your mind is just running irrationally due from the emerging crash of the caffeine. Maybe that’s it.

You think of sending him a meme- of himself, might you add- until he follows a new text.

blurred like our relationship, right

Dropping your phone to the side, you bring a pillow pushed to your face and scream into its plush surface. You feel the heat coming off of your cheeks, chest heaving in and out as well. What was that all about? Has Bambam been aware of the unusual tension you, yourself, have been feeling towards him the past couple of weeks? Why is he speaking up about it now?

that was stepping out of the line of being corny. i’m sorry lol

You notice that he was trying to play it off cool, but now that you’ve gotten a signal from him acknowledging the uncanny stage of your relationship right now, you wanted to go all out. With Bambam, you need to know whether he’s serious about this or not.

You retreat the pilow away from your face, flustered at the suddent flight response you just pulled off. You certainly cannot be this embarrassing once you confront him, that’s for sure. But realizing you might have been absent for a while, you gingerly take a hold of your phone and type a new message with a plan.

When are you free, Bam?

You need to discuss this to him in person. You need to see it in Bambam’s eyes. You see the typing animation show on and off as he’s probably contemplating on what to say to you too.

i’m free for a few hours after our morning radio interview

Perfect. I’ll meet you at the cafe near my university at 12. Sounds good?

yeah yeah ofc

Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Bam.

you too. uhhh good night?

Good night to you too, Bambam. :)

“Headass, over here!”

A guy in stylish clothing, together with a black cap, black sunglasses, and black mask whips his head towards your direction. His tall stance and sense of fashion already singled him out from the lazily dressed college students surrounding the cafe right now, including yourself.

You end up sleeping three hours later after your conversation with Bambam, different scenarios of your meet up today forming in your head, some with good outcomes and others unspeakable. You couldn’t believe that you were able to set up a “date” with him with the intention of confessing the uncertainty you have in regards to affectionate feelings towards him.

He walks over to the corner of the quaint little shop, a cold drink already in place before his seat. You don’t see his expression quite well, seeing that his whole face is covered with different kinds of masks, but you hear him chuckle as he relaxes in front of you, inspecting the drink shortly.

“You know me too well,” he finally says, lowering the mask to his chin so he can take a sip of his favorite drink. You grin at your accomplishment, chugging the iced coffee you bought for yourself as to keep your nerves from taking over you- which was ironic since you’re gulping down more of what keeps you shaking right now.

“How was the interview?” You ask nonchalantly, watching his every move. Bambam glances up at you and nods his head, “It went really well. More enjoyable than your presentation, that I could say.”

Glaring daggers at him you counter, “Shut up.” He cackles at your response, and then the two of you instinctively easing into your normal conversations of mundane stories and brutal banters, almost forgetting about the original reason of you meeting him here.

But you didn’t mind, not one bit. You missed his physical presence. Just seeing a hint of his crinkling eyes from the shade of his visor is enough for you to feel comfortable around Bambam. He genuinely is the best person you know. You both never have to think twice about saying something potentially wrong, because the other would just use it at their advantage but at the same time turn it into an inside joke between the two of you.

There was something that he declared which made you stomp your hand down the table in rejection. He chortles at your dramatic expression and casually lays his hand on top of yours. Your face quickly realizes this as you retrieve your hand back to your sides, squeezing it tight to stop it from trembling at the sudden contact.

Bambam notices your discomfort and coughs awkwardly. “Sorry, sorry. I ruined it, didn’t I?” He admits, looking down in frustration.

“No, no, Bam it’s not that,” your attempt in fixing the matter at hand was futile, and you wish you have more time to stall, more time to just have mindless fun with the best guy friend you’ve ever had in a while.

But seeing that your stomach churned and jumped in itself after a simple touch of your hand, you had to tell him how he’s made you feel. Or else you’re going to go nuts.

“What are we, Bambam?” You blurt out, eyes fixating on the empty cup of beverage sitting idly on the table. “And don’t make it out as a meme, ‘kay? I’m asking it seriously,” you follow up with a scrunched face, making sure that Bambam knows you’re done with fooling around.

You peek at his face and he seems to be smiling shyly, hand that was once touching yours now scratching the back of his head. You find yourself wishing you never took it back.

Shaking your head, you whine at your inner frustration. “I… I think I like you, Bam. And I don’t know why I’m saying this now but recently, you’ve been saying weird stuff to me that gets me all flustered and red and you can’t see that because we haven’t seen each other in a while, but when we do I try to suppress it just because I don’t you to think I’m weird or something like that but our conversation last night messed me up big time, and now I don’t know if suppressing it is going to help anymore and I just -”

You stop yourself from losing air in your system as you inhale and exhale. Your hands have been clutching themselves tightly on your lap and you let go to feel the blood pumping again. You’re afraid to look up and see a confused Bambam staring at you, but before you can contemplate any further, you hear a soft laughter resonating from him. And it wasn’t that of mockery, so you slowly turn your head to reveal a blushing adolescent boy before you, hands covering his eyes under a pair of expensive sunglasses.

“Aw man, you beat me to it. Why do you always do that to me?” He complains cutely. You titl your head in confusion.

“I was supposed to confess first. Do you know how ashamed I feel right now?” He takes his hands off his eyes as well as his sunglasses and you finally see his eyes. Glistening in hope and anxiety all at the same time, but the beauty in them never left. You are taken aback, but you try and keep it together as he gulps down and stares right back at you.

“You always beat me to things, but that doesn’t mean I won’t confess anymore. Yes, I’ve been trying to get your attention more frequently because I’ve… developed feelings for you, and I didn’t know how to handle them other than be more annoying than usual.” His assessment of the situation makes you giggle, and it prompted him to keep going.

“I was really happy I got to talk to you when I was feeling hella nervous yesterday. It made me confirm my feelings for you and that you make me comfortable in whatever situation we’re in. The selfie I sent you last night was just me trying to see if you kind of feel the same way, and I honestly didn’t know what to expect from there.” He brings his hands on the table and plays with them mindlessly, biting his lip as he looks down.

“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel frustrated by the way I’ve acted, I’m just a dumb adolescent boy who doesn’t know how to handle his feelings well. But I was honestly really glad we got to hang out today, you know I missed you a lot. So, I’m sorry if this ruins everything…” he trails off, seeming to want to say more but his tongue prevents him from doing so.

You keep your eyes on him, not exactly knowing how to respond correctly. He gives you a full minute to contemplate on your own before he looks back up at you, pausing with his hands and smiling sheepishly. “Any response from you would be great right now.”

“Shoot, I’m sorry,” you say, lips in a tight line. You think for another few seconds before finally making up your mind. “C’mon, let’s take a selfie.”

“W-what?”

“C’mon, Bam. You have a better camera than mine, so go get your phone!” Your tone was firm but encouraging at the same time. He hesitates for a second but complies nonetheless. You scoot next to him, your arm slightly touching with his. You falter a bit, but you feel Bambam relax with your touch and you smile as you move in a tiny bit closer.

He positions the phone at the perfect angle and you see him trying out a few different expression before his thumb presses over the button. Your smile grows wider at the sight of him assessing himself, but you quickly peck the soft surface of his cheek and beat him to taking the selfie.

Without waiting for his response, you snatch the phone away and inspect the picture. Content with the image, you show him the screen.

He looks at with his eyebrows furrowed, but immediately understands and reveals a goofy grin. You nudge his elbow playfully before resting your head on your shoulder, already feeling at ease with your position.

“Not so blurry now, huh?” You ask him. He pats your head in response and squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, the touch of him making you want more.

But for now, this is enough.

#got7maknaelinenet #kreativewritersnet #got7 imagines #bambam scenarios #got7 scenarios #bambam imagines #emjae fics

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the-countessa · 7 years

Text

Embrace the suck...it's gonna be a long ass night

It is not that I no longer care, because I do, and always will; not matter how angry, how hurt, how used up I feel, and without rhyme or reason, I always shall care. I'm always going to keep an eye on his facebook to make sure he is still alive and ok. I'm never going to stop wishing things were different or hoping like hell they're gonna change, or get something back from before. And I mean wish, and hope and hell, even prey (my version anyway) But I simply cannot have the person that he has become in my life. Too much hurt; too many times times over the last four and a half years of being treated (as he is fond of saying) like a cunt. Cheated on when we were dating, lied to repeatedly, and my feelings being railroaded. Then when I sat there, angry and upset, demanding to be treated with respect and consideration; well, with each time, it's become harder and harder for him to see. And treating my pain as insignificate and only from some shallow places of jealousy. And yes, even I can see the obserdity of it, to end it all over, as he sees it, pizza. But after so long of looking after him, since the very beginning back in Gravesend when we first hung out and he was unemployed, buying him food, trying to keep him going as best as I could. All I have ever done really. After doing that and being treated so badly and used up, when I needed him to simply return the damn favour when I had no food and no money, I get thrown out on my arse, for a date? And the ironic thing is, the bit he doesn't know, I actually like the idea of this one... But after so long giving and giving and giving; after him banging on about gratitue and friendship and giving back, he simply failed. Failed again. Failed me. And then to have the line "You're not my enemy, you'll just be another 'friend' that's decided to not talk to me anymore." as though I haven't tried time and time again, as though nothing I have ever done made any sort of matter; not Christmas (not good enough), not his birthday (too depressed), not paying for food, gym clothes, warhammer boards, taxis to and from a&e, not all the time I cooked dinner, did the laundry, made the bed, bought the linin and kitchen crap, not the running to the chemist when he was sick...not the sex, dating, friendship. None of it. And no, that doesn't mean I've forgotten what he did for me...but it doesn't balance the books. He let me move in with him, rent free, to get me away from my dad who was close to driving me to suicide; but that he had someone to pay for food whilst he wasn't working, pay the rent when he couldn't manage it (once? twice?). And arrangment of mutual conveniance that saved him just as much as it did me. Yeah, he paid out for some great nights out, but so did I...but it hurt more to pay for tickets to go up to London and watch him butterfly his arse around his friends, only to return for a drink. Hell, I paid for his birthday and for him to be at my own. The books just no longer balance, and there is only so much one can put up with until you wonder "why am I here? How can this be friendship when I feel like I am trying to constantly please you, only to have it go unnoticed, unmentioned?' I was always the first to fight his corner and the last out the ring, no matter what. But more and more he says and does things that leave me speechless and sick. A mutual friend lost the love of her life a couple of weeks before christmas; he'd have rather spent his money on a bottle of booze than support her. Even heard tell that she offered to pay for him to go to the memorial, just because she wanted him there...he couldn't muster up enough friendship to support someone who has truely lost something vital. December again, I spent a small fortune on a long month doing everything I could to make it good for him, almost the way you would for a child. And after forking out over £60 for his birthday, paying for him to come out for mine...couldn't even manage a 99p birthday card. What did he say to me the day before Christmad Eve, something about him rather spending his money making him happy. Not a thought to giving back. Halloween; I get sexually assulted, and what frightened me most was him pining me to the bed with his hands around my throat screaming at me. And promptly throwing me out. Ignored me for three days. Told me how his hands around my throat was my fault. The wife beater excuse, the line of domestic abusers, that it was asked for. And that's now ironically been capped off with him telling me to report the abusive bastard who lives next door. And that is who he is. A lying, cheating, violent, angry, bitter man, so self obsessed that if he were to read this, would be more concerned about him image than that he has hurt and terrified the person who has done more good things for him than most. So self-serving, he's rather date than help a friend who sucked up their pride and fear and asked for just a little help. So hypocritial, he bangs on about how pro-feminist he is, how much he understands mental health because he has problems too, that he oh so easily paints me as the Crazy ex-GIRLfriend, throws my depression in my face, hell, even the other day he was pulling at the thread of someones BPD. So obssesed with this idea he has of happiness, that he doesn't spair a thought for those he climbs over to get to it. So weighed down with his past, so stuck there, that any female worth a damn couldn't get through; more in love with what has gone that he barely appreciates what he has. Ok, so exactly true; he has been more than happy to praise everyone else who has helped him (joint incommers or people who have had a sudden windfall) just not me. The one who the second she can't afford to keep him is told "If someone offers to pick me up n feed me for free then sorry but I'm gonna take it." turning his date into little more than a meal ticket and showing me that I am no longer of any use. What was the point of me? That isn't even a drop in the ocean of it all; so much over the last four and a half years. And memories that should be good are now completely tainted. I managed 28 years on this earth without one real regret, until now. And that is I regret having ever met him. And that is heart crushing. That is what drives me into a bottle and into a packet of little blue pills. For my shame. So, how can I still care for someone, after all that? Maybe everyone, his people and mine, are right, Im just abused and frightened and simply stockholm Syndrome. Or maybe I am right, maybe underneath it all, the fear and anger and confusion, there is a good soul. Or maybe my mother is right and he is suffering from some serious mental health issue. I just don't know anymore. But still, how in the hell can I still find it in me to give a damn and wish we could go back? It's fucked up. I don't know if he'll read this. I hope he does. I really hope he does. I know he'll be fuming, see it as an attack or bitchfest. But honestly, I just want, and he needs to see that he cannot go on this way. That this, who he has become and what he is doing is not good or right, for the best, or anyone elses fault but his own. And fix it! No one else can. I am not just some 'friend', I was your best friend who would have done anything to keep you from drowning. I did not decide to not talk to you, I am just simply unable to talk without wanting to scream and shout and cry and hope like hell something finally gets through that thick skull of yours! And no, I am not the only one. Hell, my family hates him now; even my own mother, who opened her home to him after he cheated on me with Jasz because I asked her to, who stood by me during so many arguments and rows before Christmas to ensure that he wasn't alone wants to clobber him (though, as I keep telling her, she is disabled and probably would not get very far). And as for his friends? How many of them told me to run, call him a snake, have told me how they are done with his melodrama and bullshit...and not just the ones who show two faces, but the genuine good ones have basically decided that they are done. I'm sure that will send him into a rage, but I should be clear that no, I haven't been slagging him off to everyone and their mother just to get that response because I have been begging everyone to tell me I am wrong. And trying like hell to make sure these people stay close enough in his life to keep an eye on him. I do not want him to loose his people because (so long as he doesn't continue to alienate them) he will need them. It hurt to see him advertise a gig for a band that he knows I love, that he promised to take me to, because he cut me out. It hurts to read him alter history just enough that I loose my place it in. It all hurts and I get angry and yes I lash out. Because it is unfair and crule. But I'll get over that all in time...a very, very, very long ass time. What I shall not get over is his self-distruction. Ok, maybe we no longer fit in one anothers life; but to watch hin waste his life, ignore his health, and basically act more like a child than the almost 40 year old adult is driving me nuts. I want to shake him. No, I want to tie him to a chair whilst I beat him with a basebalk bat yelling "I love you but sort you fucking shit!" Own your mistakes. Admit to them. See yourself for what you really are, and fucking well fix them! Take a long hard look at your life, stop blaming others and walking around with a chip on your shoulder like the Universe owes you something and get the hell over it. And take a long hard look at everything you have done to me over the last four and a half years, be honest with yourself about your actions, your behaviour; from the editing of a truth to "save" my feelings, to the outright lies, cheating, using my body like I was a whore (a post for another time, but fucking someone without eye contact, without a simple sodding kiss, and with what we did, without basic aftercare, I have come away with some serious issues in regards to sex...on top of a sexual assult) and see through my eyes. See how it looks and feels to always be dropped by you best friend for the same reason time and time again, sex. No other reason, not for family or friends or emergancies or work or anything, just sex. Just open your eyes. All this writing, all these words are for me, and though I know he will be angry for it, I hope that there is an understanding (finally) that this silly little account is the one corner of the internet is mine. And surely a hell of a lot better than posting it to facebook. And Id never be able to say these things to him, because his anger would stop him from actually listening and just start shouting me down. I don't honestly know if he'll read this, but I hope he gets to the end. I hope he reads and dwells and thinks and learns and changes. I do not know how to get out of this blackhole, I only know that he is the only one with the power to do so. All I can do is make an attempt to follow a little of my own advice. I am lacking for a life, but I am working on it. Not to spite him, but regardless of him, I need it. And I need to follow my passion too. Something that makes me happy, that I hope may bring joy to others. You broke my heart, and my spirit, but I shall rebuild me. A better me. Me who will be just as giving and as loving as I always have. And I sincerly hope he can do the same because he is on a path to his own personal hell, and to stay in his sphere right now will only drag me down with him. I cannot allow that. And once he has fixed him, maybe he'll come find me, and maybe he can lay some groundwork to fix us, better than before. But no one can live on just hope forever. Anyway, if you stuck with this long ass post, thanks. And ten points to you. I realise it's filled with melodrama and meloncolly...and god awful spelling errors, but I dont have a spell check and it is below freezing and I am smoking up a storm as I type. And it's dark too since we've blown a fuse at the homestead. But I am an emotive person, a quite a talking, and a classic over thinker whose mind has literally been stuck on this issue for the last 2 weeks and 6 days. And people have told me to talk to him, but I know he will not listen to me, so I figured, try here? Maybe something might get through? And maybe, I can expell some of this negativity and pain so I can move on, in that healthy mature sort of way. Anyway, I guess that's it. XOXOX

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