hello i am finally redebuting my new design + model and celebrating 1k followers this saturday!!! i worked super super hard on everything and i added new emotes, a new starting screen, and a lot of new commands and redeems!
Had a MASSIVE crush on you for years, still think of you fondly. Love the MASHposting
This is such a nice and sweet ask and I'm so incredibly grateful that you generously took time out of your day to be so kind. It means a lot and just from this small interaction I know you must be a very warm, caring person. Truly, humbly, thank you so much. <3
but also real quick no jokes if u have a moment if its not too much trouble or too intrusive a question could u tell me real quick why did u stop having a crush on me please tell me what happened did you find someone else did I do something wrong why didn't you tELL ME PLEASE WAIT COME BACK PLEASE WHAT DID I DO I CAN FIX IT I PROMISE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPSLEALSEPLEAESSEEEEEE
summary- the thought of face riding drives chris insane so he finally decided to act up on it.
warnings - sexual content, oral (female receiving) , switch chris , face riding, begging chris.
f!reader x chris sturniolo
a/n - give me suggestions please 🙏 also for my thick girlys out there
….
chris got straight to the point when i went to his he told me these words
“i want you to ride my face till i cant breath baby”
obviously im aching to do things like that but im a big girl with thick thighs and chub and no offence to chris but hes tiny compared to me i will crush his face
so here i am, chris watching me begging for an answer
“i dont know chris“ i state
“come on baby i know what you’re thinking but i dont care you’re a big girl so what, ive copped me a baddie and if any opportunity comes up for her to sit on me or my face im taking em” he says truthfully
“chris ill literally kill you” i laugh at his eagerness
“like i fucking care , god, crush my face in your thighs if thats what it takes for you to ride my face gorgeous “
“ok” i say nodding
“i swear you wont hur- wait yes?” he reply’s excited
“mhm yes chris”
“god ma imma make you feel so good” he says squeezing my thigh
i get up and chris slaps my ass
“your ass is so fat and juicy ma i love it” he says
i feel like my legs are gonna snap beneath me when he calls me ma
“you like that huh”
“w-what”
“you like being called ma you dirty slut” he laughs
he lays on the bed and immediately calls me over to sit on him
“before we do this i want to let you know if its too much we can stop” he smiles leaning for a kiss
before i know it im slowly getting glided to chris’s face
“lets take these off shall we” he says before ripping my panties off and throwing them
“you’re soaking ma” he says
“cant wait to taste you”
i let out a breathy moan
“sit on me now” he says demandingly
and i do as he says but not putting my full weight on him, i feel him start to kiss my pussy and lick strips down from my hole upwards, i let out a loud moan
he then does what i feared the most, puts all my weight on him i want to stop in fear of hurting him but i cant it feels too good
he grips my thighs tightly as he helps me move on his face basically face fucking him
“f-f- FUCK MHM CHRIS” i moan my orgasm getting closer
i feel his nose brush against me with every movement, his tongue going in and out of my now sensitive hole
“CHRIS IM GONNA FUCKK CUM” i cry
i feel chris move faster as he lets me ride out my high slowly our movements stop and i sit on his chest
“wanna taste yourself ma ?” he questions
i nodd and we make out before he says
“we need to do that again baby that was so fucking hot” he smirks
“i think i ran our of breath for a sec but i was to caught up eating you like slut i didnt notice” he says still out of breath
• summary {in which an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}
• warnings {angst, it gets cute at the end tho}
averys pov
“avery why cant we tell them” azzi yells, this has been our third fight this week about this topic
“azzi you know why we cant” i say, sternly
“no i dont, thats why im asking”
“azzi, bellas in the other room. shut up” i say
“ok, fuck you” say says, walking out
azzis pov
azzi
- u home
paige
- pls dont come
- stay with avery please
azzi
- im coming
fuck paige has been weird lately, and she wont tell me
its definitely something with bella
i don’t know how bella doesn’t notice
paige is in love with her
“azzi what did i say” paige says, yelling, tears flooding her eyes and the neck of her shirt
“paige whats happening” i say, genuinely concerned for my best friend
she begins wailing. i’ve never seen her cry like this before
i quickly wall up and embrace her
“i fucked it” she says, barley getting her words out
“i want her and ill never be able to make her mine” she continues
“bella?” i question
“yes” she says, raising her voice
“im calling her”
“no, azzi, no, please don’t. please” she says, pleading, her voice growing louder
“paige, you need to talk to her. i’ve never seen you like this before” i say, authoritatively
“she hates me”
azzi is calling bella
“hey bella”
“hey”
“can you come over”
“yeah ill come now”
call ended
“paige this is a good thing, you guys need to talk”
bellas pov
i know this is about paige
id be lying if i said i was fine about this situation
i’m reality, i’ve been crying. everyday. at any given opportunity
i dont have any resentment towards paige, even though i definitely should. i mean, what she did was fucked
and she never explained herself, all she could say is “i cant do it” like what the fuck does that mean
knock, fuck i should leave
knock, i hate her
knock, no i dont
“hey bella” azzi says, bringing me into her embrace. i know azzi and avery are dating, but they cant tell anyone because avery cheated on jake with azzi, and she hates what she did. but she truly does love the girl, cute. i hate love
“paige is in her room”
walking towards paiges room, nerves surprisingly aren’t present. i felt calm, normal
“who is it” paige yells, across the door
“bella” i say, yelling back
paiges pov
“shit shit shit” i say to myself, i look awful. i didn’t think she would actually show up
i’ve been crying for what feels like years, and i finally can get everything off my chest. but i’m more terrified than ever before
she opens the door. fuck
“hey paige” she says softly, i cant bear to look at her. i dont want to see how she has effected me
“paige look at me” she says, sitting down next to me, leaning over. hand on my knee
i look at her
shock plastered on her face
she says nothing, bringing me close and wrapping her arms around me, protectively
“im so sorry” i say into her chest
“paige its ok, im not mad”
“yes you are, i fucked up” i say, tears beginning to form again
she moves so we are face to face, her laying on top of me
“you dont know how bad i want you bella, but i’m, i’m scared” i say, i’ve never been this vulnerable with a girl before. i feel weak
“paige its ok, theres no pressure” she says, reassuringly
“i know you dont feel the same, thats why ive been so down”
“how do you know, paige” she says, sternly. contrasting her previous tone
“it’s obvious” i say. is it?
“no its not, i want you the same amount that you want me” she says, staring intently into my tear filled eyes, that are forming once again
“really” i say, genuinely confused
“yes” she says, slightly laughing
this cant be real, how, what, when, where, why.
after everything i’ve done, she still likes me?
“paige, you there” she says, commenting on my spacing out
“are you sure” i say, coming back to reality
she responds by gently pressing her lips to my own
this kiss was different than any others i’ve experience, its sweet, loving. reflecting of how i feel about her, and i guess how she feels about me.
Ok, so you know this post? Made by @lets-get-kraken-boys I wanted to make an image of another reason why readers went to the big 3 for comfort and help HEAR ME OUT
So imagine one day you weren't in a good mood and didn't wanna deal with your classmates today but their overbearing behavior towards you was just making it worse
"C'mon y/n just one more game!" Mina said while pulling your arm rather strong "Mina I said no please leave me alone I don't feel like it "But it'll be so much fun!" Hakagure said while pulling your arm you "I said NO" you yelled pulling away from hakagures grip harshly and walked away the 2 girls stood there in shock and hurt a bit are u ok? were you hurt!
"Y/n why aren't you coming to eat dinner with us is everything OK?" You groaned just wanting to be left alone and eat in your room but were interrupted by your class rep iida knocking on the door every second you didn't respond "Yes iida I'm fine I just wanted to eat alone" you said not wanting to sound annoyed to make iida leave "but all your friends are worried and want you to be there even Mina and hakagure said you were in a bad mood so-" "I'm fine iida you can go now I don't want to eat dinner with you, especially with all of you today goodbye"
Iida was shocked at your behavior and response you were usually the one who never gets angry or upset which made him more nervous than before he had to go in there and help you out! "No y/n there's Cleary something wrong! You can talk to me ill listen" Iida began banging on your door which made you more overwhelmed and pissed so without any hesitation "I DONT NEED HELP LEAVE ME ALONE YOURE MAKING IT WORSE" You threw a heavy book at the door which surprise Iida as he backed up, defeated he went slowly went back to the dinner table the class looked at him confused and ask how were you doing but he didn't answer just looked down
You just got back from the convenience store to get some snacks Lucky for you they got your favorite snack and brand all at a cheap price with a drink in hand but unfortunately for you, there were some of your classmates in the common room and it and even worse it was bakugo and his gang watching a movie you quietly tried to sneak pass with all your might trying not to make a sound, it was all going smoothly until bakugo saw your shadow figure "Oi! Fuckface!" You mentally cursed at yourself you just had to bump into the worst one and it was Bakugo
"what do you want im not really In the mood to deal with your Bullshit" At the moment you just keep walking ignoring him for the best but it wasn't the best option for Bakugo "Oi don't ignore me!" He was now off the couch "Bakubro that isn't very manly" Kirishima sternly said while but Bakugo scoff "Fuck off shifty hair, hey why aren't you joining us for a movie what are you scared?" He said teasingly like he was trying to taut you to make fun of you "Bakugo I'm not in the mood for your Bullshit today so please just leave me alone" You once again turned away and began to walk to your dorm until a strong handheld you and yanked you
"Ha!? What do you mean you're not in the mood jeez are ready to cry or something because of my comments why are you even trying to be a hero if your feelings get hurt so easily!?" Now he was pushing it, your hand was gripping the plastic bags Hard now shaking... tears threatening to swell up "Bakugo that's enough! You're making it worse it's okay sweetie" Mina said hugging you even tho you tried to push her off but she kept insisting trying to hold on to you to the point that didn't cause comfort but rather discomfort
"Aw, now you need an alien to hug you, wow you're really that weak I can already see the tears haha! If your gonna be a hero your gonna have to suck it u-" "SHUT UP"
*thud*
You breathe heavily seeing your blonde classmate, butt on the floor, stunned holding his bloody nose but you weren't done "WHY CANT YOU PEOPLE LEAVE ME ALONE YOU ALWAYS DEGRADED ME FOR EVERY SINGLE MISTAKE I DO" you pointed at Bakugo who was still laying on the floor "I MAY BE WEAK IN YOUR EYES BUT AT LEAST I CAN ADMIT MY MISTAKES WHILE YOU JUST DOUBT THEM AND USE UR ANGER CAUSE YOU GOT INSERCURIES" some your classmates tried to get close to you to either stop you or to at least tried to calm you down but you pushed them away or yelled at them too
"EVERY SINGLE DAY I HAVE TO HEAR YOUR STUPID ASS TALK SHIT ABOUT ME ALWAYS DISCRIMINATING ME FOR MY FIGHTING SKILLS, IF I SLIP UP I GET CALLED A LOSER, EVEN WHEN IM NOT DOING ANYTHING AT ALL WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME DO YOU HATE ME!? DO YOU JUST LIKE PUTTING PEOPLE DOWN FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!?" bakugo didn't say anything just stared at you blankly while holding his nose while you berated him calling out all his treatment and teasing towards you
It should've made him angry but it strangely made him giddy...? Was he enjoying you berating his every action and ego? It made him think things he never thought of before but before he could speak you ran pushing past your classmates not caring if they fell, he sat there the rest of your classmates wanted to check on you but they didn't know where you were... they tried calling you but there was No answer....
You crouched down in an empty hallway and managed to get some of your snacks you held the snack in hand slowly eating it while a big glob of tears was finally released just when you were about to take another bite 3 familiar voices made you lift up your head
The big 3 crouching down to your level Neijire on one side rubbing your back Tamaki giving you a handkerchief to blow your nose and dry your eyes and Mirio couching down at your level rubbing your shoulders giving you a smile
" What's wrong lovebug why all the tears" Neijire said looking sympathetic
I don’t know if you take requests if yes then could you pretty please do a Cedric Diggory and/or Theodore Nott fluff alphabet
Thanks✨
fluff alphabet; cedric diggory
A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)
ok but i really do believe that cedric diggory needs to always be holding your hand or, in case ur not a physical person, know that he's always by your side. i do be thinking though that cedric will always be down for almost any kind of pda
B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)
the forst thing i thought of while reading this is that there are two types of best friends reacting to their bestie's break-up: the one thats all "omg bae im so sorry!! do you need to talk? lets watch some movies and ill get all the ice cream and you tell me everything" and then "ok... any suggestions for what we'll do with the dead body?" out of these, cedric's fr the first one.
as a best friend, cedric 100% will point and laugh at people you dont like, and will undoubtedly stand up for you and ur presence if you aren't there.
and he will buy you Christmas gifts (if u celebrate) and will spoil u on ur birthday
C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)
YES. PLEASE.
he loves spooning (specifically him as little spoon but he dgaf if u dgaf) and will 100% fall asleep with you. cedric, for one, lovesss being in between your legs (hey now 🤨📸) with his head on your stomach and he's just all wrapped up in you omg it makes him so happy and warm and sleepy omg hes soft
D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)
at some point, yeah. cedric wants to settle down. he knows, though, that thats not always in the cards and is willing to do whatever for your love.
HOLY NART CEDRIC DIGGORY IS AN AMAZING CHEF D O N T TRY TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. ok so imagine: after graduation, probably a week or so into life without school, you're still unconscious from a busy night of doing whatever you were doing. now its getting later in the morning, the sun is rising farther, and your body is ready for food. cocooning yourself in an old hogwarts blanket, you start making your way to the kitchen of the apartment you're sharing with cedric. you find him mid-flip of a scrambled egg. he's wearing a pairbof light grey sweatpants, and the sun shining beautifully on his bare chest. not to brag, but cedric was definitely muscular from quidditch. he looks up, soft eyes visibly lighting up seeing you. he smiles sweetly as you basically waddle to him. taking you in his arms, he presses a kiss to your forehead and goes back to the egg.
lmao okay i see u
E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)
genuinely, cedric does want the best for you, so he takes comfort in knowing this would be good for you if breaking-up was necessary. he won't pussy out, don't worry. cedric also believes in communication, so he'll make dinner or whatever and then he'll sit down with you and just say it as it is with as little sugar-coating as possible. he cares about your feelings, so he wouldn't be mean about it. he'd assure you that if, at any point, you needed him, he would always be there for you.
F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)
mans ong wants to get married (when he knows ur the one). he wouldn't wait years unless he felt the need to, but wouldn't rush right into it.
when the time comes, he'll introduce you to his family, and obviously his dad would like you because theres literally no reason not to. he would buy a ring without you knowing, and would definitely take you somewhere. if you proposed to him, holy shit he'd probably start crying. if you made a speech? sobbing. he's kinda emotional, and is not afraid to cry about the big stuff. happy tears streaming down his face hed probably make tf out with you right then and there.
G = Gentle (How gentle are they physically?)
he a softie, i think we know now. physically omg would be so tender and sweet with you unless you want him to be ;) (im sorry omg im sleep deprived)
H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)
oui oui, garçons und filles. expect lots of hugs from behind cos bros a sucker for those ong 😭❤
if ur shorter than him, hugs from the front are so sweet n shit. he leans down and kisses your forhead and its honestly just so sweet damn
if u a little taller than him, slay bbg i see you 🤩 anyways, ced wanna be held some days so he'll just kinda stand there until you get the hint and hug him like you know he needa be
I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)
damn okay thats a tuff one tbh
when he knows you'll put up with his shit and he just kinda knows that you the one, he'll come up and be twiddling his thumbs and be all ''omg i think i love you and im in love with you"
no, honestly, he'd probably bring it up into a conversation and then just steamroll right by it. he wants you to know he does love you but he doesn't want to be overbearing and scare you away
J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)
cedric does kinda get jealous, but damn he won't tell you. it's kinda obvious, though, when he is jealous. he'll be glaring and everything at whoever your talking to/about and kinda just wallow in his anger like "merlin man dzont they're with me >:(((((" when you come by and stand by him and kiss him or hold his hand, he does get happy and look down to keep anyone from seeing his smile
K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)
depends of the mood
during hogwarts and he just got out of a rough class or its been a long day or whatever, he'll kiss you with those soft lips of his, gently tugging your bottom lip with his teeth.
if you're both at home and just woke up its just a soft little kiss on the lips, lingering slightly
L = Little ones (How are they around children?)
literally so sweet omfg 😣❤
as a prefect, he's got some experience with kids (specifically 11 and 12 year olds) if you both decided you wanted kids, adopted or not, he's definitely be so sweet but sometimes you might have to remind him that he needs to be especially firm with some kids just because they may need it.
M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)
slow and sweet, most days. he'll make breakfast (most days) at some point unless hes asleep or sick. if you shower in the morning, he'll make sure you have a cup of tea or coffee or cocoa waiting for you when you're done
N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)
he loooovvveeessss cuddling okay? he'll do anything you want, watching movies, play games and the like
though cedric loves movie nights, he loves the moments when the movie is paused, and you're doing whatever it is you're doing (petting ur dog or cat, re-placing a blanket, scurrying out of the room for some reason) he loves those. it makes him feel safe knowing he's with you in your home, with your personal stuff, being happy and cute
O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)
as friends, you'd obviously know the basics: fave color, fave drink, eye color, yada yada yada.
cedric diggory trusts pretty easily (when dating) and will tell you things you probably never thought to ask. personal things that he holds so close to his heart, sometimes he forgets those things are even there.
P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)
it certainly takes a little bit to get him upset
Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)
cedric takes pride in knowing he's yours and you're his, so yeah, he knows details about you almost no one else really knows. hell, he'd probably even remember your gramma's birthday (if you guys were/are close)
R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)
waking up with you for the first time. seeing you asleep made him swell with warmth. he knew you had a hard time trusting, so you being vulnerable around him made him super mega ridiculously happy
S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)
he trusts you. he knows you know that there's a line between being nice and being a little too nice, so he doesn't get too jealous. in any case, a part of him is worried you'd find someone 'better' than him
T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts?)
cedric loves dates. cute little outings where you guys can go do that cute couple shit and just bask in each other.
CEDRIC LOVES GIFT GIVING WHAT
he knows what to get you because he kinda likes going shopping with you
U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)
cedric picks at his hangnails until he bleeds
V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)
now, as one of the golden boys of his time at hogwarts, yes he does care about his looks. he dgaf about little pimples but damn if theres a hot out of place...
W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)
honestly kinda. he's devoted to you. he's yours. its hard for him to be away from you for weeks let alone months, but of course, he would always pull through in the end; all for you.
X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)
cedric pets every dog or cat that he sees (with permission)
Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)
bros got a thing for not having dirty socks laying on the floor don't ask me why i know this shit
Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)
turning and nuzzling into you and holyfuckingshit its adorable :((( sometimes he'll whine when he can't quite reach or find you and he'll 100% wake up in the middle of the night if you aren't with him
ok im finally here with the spy au stuff. sorry this took me so long i suddenly got Extremely Ill and couldnt really do much but im BACK baby.
im gonna do some more than i originally planned since i made u and the venerable budijojo wait so long so buckle up
AKUTAGAWA - ohhhh akutagawa… poor thing. this is about The Most devastating thing that could possibly happen to him. i could see him not realizing he loves darling in time just by virtue of arrogance, similar to fyodor. he doesnt think he’d ever deign to have something as silly as affection for someone like… you. preposterous. doesnt help that he has dazai’s voice in his ear at every second. but, well, here he is: stuck adoring somebody who hates him, and knowing it’s all his fault. although deep in despair, ever the devotee, he will gracefully take any punishment darling throws at him- granted they stay by his side. you might not think so, what with all the ‘stabbing you a hundred times with his jacket’ business he put you through, but you’re truly the safest by HIS side, you’ll see! no one can protect you as well as he can! you can spit at him, scream at him, hurt him, tell him all the ways you despise him; he’ll accept it all, but he won’t- *can’t* let go of you. he needs to keep you safe, it’s the only way he can make up for his sins.
DAZAI - oh christ. if you thought akutagawa had attachment issues get a load of this guy. i could see him REALLY shooting himself in the dick by also getting a bit of torture in before “killing” you- either cuz you suddenly started being cagey with information and he was approaching his deadline or just cuz he felt like it at the time. dazai is… very jarring. his emotional state is such that he feels this very suddenly and very violently, and his demeanor is very dependent on what he’s feeling. this is all to say that when you and dazai meet again, the version of dazai you knew- the manipulative nihilist who kissed your cheek within the same hour he broke all your fingers with a pair of pliers- is all but gone. he’s been replaced with some sopping wet cat of a man who looks honest-to-god shattered at your rejections. and he really IS like a pet cat who just realized hes in trouble, or maybe more of a stray who learned the hard way that people stop feeding you after you maul them. anything he can think of to get even a SECOND of your affection he’ll do, and i do mean anything. he’ll debase himself, scream, cry, beg, kill, anything he thinks will do the job. just please please please please PLEASE dont run away from him he loves you so much please stay he needs you please….
CHUUYA - i think hes the least likely to make this mistake just cuz he seems pretty self-possessed, but i could also see him getting very swept up in the little competition he made up in his head and not thinking his actions through very well. also DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL he’s gonna be the LAST guy to admit his feelings in this circumstance, just cuz admitting it would be much too painful so his brain just rejects it. i mean, the fella kicked you so hard into the wall it made a crater, he can STILL hear the echoes of your bones crunching in his head every time he closes his eyes, thats HARDLY the actions of a man in love. besides, even if you DID somehow survive that, youd never take him back (not that he wants that lol no way) so it’s not even worth thinking about. theres gonna be a lot of waking up from a drunken stupor only to find himself in your old apartment or surrounded by your possessions in a nest and some extremely pitying glances from kouyou before he lets himself accept what he feels and what he did. any peace he manages to make with this over time will immediately shatter what he hears that youve been spotted wandering around the city. our boy is going off the deep end instantly.
FYODOR -it doesn’t really come as a shock that fyodor didn’t realize his feelings for you til pretty late in the game, given that he’s a black hole where emotions go to die. UNPOPULAR OPINION ALERT i can very easily see fyodor feeling guilt over the whole Trying To Kill His Darling debacle, its just that he doesnt really have any kind of handle on this feeling at all. all he can process is that you’re scared of him/mad at him and this makes him feel this Mysterious Bad Feeling™ that he doesnt know what to do with. it occurs to him that he could very easily just make you compliant with him by fiddling with your brain like he did to ivan, but this makes the Bad Feeling worse. he doesnt want you to be a smiling puppet, he wants YOU, as strange as this desire is to him. all the little things used to do that had gotten on his nerves or perplexed him he now feels this alien yearning for. he feels this full body frost whenever he hears you crying through the door of your (cell) room, the distinct sensation of oncoming sickness. he finds himself very hesitant to put his hands on you, or even enter your line of sight out of fear of disturbing and upsetting you. odd. expect him to creepily watch you sleep a lot after he kidnaps you, enjoying seeing your face at peace for once.
GOGOL - clown boy has established he feels guilt over things as much as the next guy, so ohhh BOY is he not gonna handle this too good. honestly, i could see his guilt overwhelming him to the point where he refuses to kidnap you or approach you again at all. he had his chance and made his choice, best to let his birdie be free now, yes? of course, he doesnt let you go TOTALLY. he has his eye on you as often as his schedule will allow. definitely dons disguise after disguise as an excuse to get close to you, maybe even makes up a persona that works at a shop you frequent so he gets to talk to you every day. eventually his mind might fray to the point where he cant STAND it anymore and NEEDS to get you back no matter what, especially if he insists on prolonged exposure to you, but hed probably try to avoid upsetting you as much as he can. youll give in eventually, hes going to be the only person youre ever going to be close to again, after all, so theres no need to force anything. he can convince you of his sincerity, hes sure of it.
also bonus i think this concept would also work really well with jouno what do you think. couldnt think of anything for kouyou sorry :/
- 🩹
thank you so much for all your effort behind this :> hope you're feeling better now!! i tried to write fyodor a little differently for you so. what do you think eheh :> the linked words take you to the original spy au posts for those characters! i considered writing for jouno but this post is way too long already for an ask lol
akutagawa is constantly tormented with his feelings for you. he knows he doesn't have the time to be in love, since he has more important things to do like make dazai recognize him, but he doesn't have a handle on himself. he can't put a lid on the wonderfully complex things he feels for you, and that's why it manifests the way it did. besides, he can't imagine actually tolerating, let alone liking, you, with all your kindness and concern that was long beaten out of him.
you've always been so kind to him, looking out for him, talking to him, treating him like anyone else. but all he could do in response was nod to your questions. akutagawa himself hasn't been shown a lot of affection so his way of showing his feelings is...awkward. he didn't know how to be friendly or be loved, but you didn't seem to care. and then when he finally, finally identified the cause of his palpitating heart and distracted mind, when he finally came to terms with what he felt, everything went wrong. you weren't supposed to find out, and you weren't supposed to get hurt. you weren't supposed to hate him, even if everyone else did.
he had been prepared to face the anger from his coworkers when they found out he fell for the enemy, but he wasn't planning on you finding out the way you did. and the look on your face, the hatred and the betrayal, it broke him. akutagawa, having lost everything already, grovels at your feet. he's desperate for another chance, but he doesn't dare complain, not when you ignore him and scorn him, not when you refuse to even acknowledge him.
he has hope, though, that one day you'd realize he only wanted to keep you safe. he only wants to show you that he's worth keeping around. you saved him before, and he only wanted to repay the favor forever. your organization was down and yokohama was far from safe, but with akutagawa by your side, nobody would dare touch a hair on your head.
dazai well, it's established he hates you from the moment he was assigned the spying mission. of course he hates you and the dates you planned out and the meals you make and the hand holding and the kissing and the...warmth he never gets elsewhere...and...the adoring way you look at him...and....and...
what was he thinking? you were just a target!
dazai has so many dilemmas during this mission because he's conflicted with hating you for being so damn annoying and feeling something because you're head over heels for an asshole like him, but let's say he pushes down the growing good he feels for you, shoves it away and sticks with hating you constantly for the purpose of this scenario. when the gig's up and you find out he was using you to get intel, there's no point in pretending anymore. no point in going along with your affectionate touches and asking about your day.
dazai has to rely on his usual, faithful method of getting intel—interrogation. he pretends like he doesn't care about hurting your feelings, pretends like it's just another job and it doesn't affect him if you're scared or crying. he doesn't care what you think of him now, of course not.
but right after it's all done, he's drowning in regret. he can't even remember what you told him, he just wants to take it all back. he scared you terribly, he knows he probably traumatized you and he can't undo it anymore. he tries, though, of course he does. at one point you were hopelessly infatuated with him despite how mean he was, so if he was the complete opposite now, you'd definitely look back at him, right? you'll be satisfied seeing him suffer for your sake, right? he'll happily beg for your forgiveness and debase himself if you'd feel even a little satisfied. if there's no way for you to forgive him, then he'll just have to go all out. he'll pull out all the stops and do everything in his power.
(i think dazai would definitely kick into the typical "i'll kill for you" yandere thing around here, hoping that by killing your enemies you'd appreciate him. he can't stand knowing other people were around you, people you had no reason to hate unlike him. what if you liked them instead? you liked dazai despite his shortcomings, so you could also fall for someone else that wasn't him. he couldn't have that)
chuuya (hehehe ive been waiting for this) feels the most guilt out of everyone in this list. i find it hard to imagine him actually hurting darling even if it's for the pm, like you said, he has the most self-control. in the original post of spy au! chuuya, he's completely obsessed with you and ends up scaring you off since you realize something's off, which leads to him finding your new place and what not. so i'll use the premise of him feeling guilty for scaring you and you kinda hating him for being a creep :>
he can't bring himself to hurt you, so knowing he's frightened you, knowing you hate him for what he believed was showing concern for you because he loved you, it shattered him. he didn't mean for you to think that he had it out for you or that he was going to kill you just because he worked for the enemy organization. he loved you and he only wanted you to be safe. he only wanted to get to know you so you'd love him back.
he allows himself to suffer, drinking a dangerous amount almost every night, staying in the apartment you used to instead of his own, looking at all the things he bought you and imagining you using them. it's pathetic to see how he's turned into a helpless, lovesick fool that can't even get you to look twice at him anymore. he tries to throw away the feelings he had, he avoids any mention of you and drowns himself in work and alcohol, but it's only a matter of time before the two of you cross paths again and he's unable to hold back from breaking down and begging you to take him back.
since i don't have a planned out story for fyodor in this spy au i'll make it up as i go. probably some info stealing for the doa, he can't exactly ask anyone else to go. bram is...in an awkward state, kamui is far too much of a public figure, sigma is too busy with the casino, and nikolai...there's no guarantee he won't just kill you, and fyodor can't have that, not after all his efforts to track you down and choose you for his mission. you should be honored, really, that he's giving you such an important role in his plans. maybe he could even convince you to join his side and completely sell out your organization.
everyone knows fyodor would be successful in his mission, and they know he'd get you wrapped around his finger very quickly. of course you don't think there's a single suspicious thing about this strange man who suddenly walked through the doors of your life and is somehow always around you and wow he's so nice and wow, isn't this moving too fast? but fyodor has that way of reassuring you with a smile and gentle strokes that there was nothing to worry about, and who were you to question him then?
you try to make him happy. he's always a bit emotionless, always a neutral expression on his face so you can't really tell if he's upset or happy when you greet him with a kiss. or is that surprise on his face? you don't know if he likes you holding his hand or if he wants to hear about your day, but one reassuring squeeze of the hand and an acknowledging hum sends you happily continuing your earlier actions. fyodor is a little surprised by your efforts to make him feel included. he's used to silence except for nikolai's random interruptions, but having you constantly by his side isn't the worst. compared to the miserable people in the world, you weren't nearly as unbearable for him.
fyodor is mostly surprised by how disappointed you look when it all blows over, and his identity is revealed. you're not disappointed at him, but at yourself for falling for a lie, and causing your coworkers deaths. he was too good to be true, you think, and you blame yourself for falling for his tricks. trust one charming stranger, and look where that got you? in some obscure prison cell and subjected to cruel questioning.
it's not very satisfying seeing you cry and rub at your red eyes. it's far from nice when you're ignoring him and boiling with resentment. and well, he shouldn't care. you had one purpose in his plan and it was now fulfilled. you should be happy you had a chance to help out in the making of fyodor's goals, but here you were sobbing so uncontrollably. he's a little uncomfortable seeing you look so devastated, and he's uneasy now that you don't tell him anything anymore. it's unfamiliarity that haunts him because you've changed, and not for the better. if he sees you opening up around sigma, who was the most ordinary person in the building, he's a little troubled by it, but you glaring at him with burning hatred is even worse than seeing you talk to someone else, so he just leaves the room.
despite the unhelpful suggestions he gets from the rest, he doesn't want you to lose your mind like ivan, even if the latter claims he isn't unhappy anymore. watching you when you sleep1!! yes, the only time he feels he can be around you now, when you're unaware of his presence. he doesn't like it, doesn't like having to walk on eggshells and hide from you like he was in the wrong. which he shouldn't be. he was only saving you from that hellhole and that shitty organization that never stood a chance against him. if he left you back there, you'd be dead. shouldn't you be grateful?
considering nikolai is like, the master of disguises, this mission should have been a piece of cake. get intel, and then he can do whatever he wants to you and your friends. this was a fun break for him! he was asked to join the company you worked for (a front for the organization) as a new hire and gather all the intel he could, but he didn't think he'd get attacked to anyone on the job.
you were surprisingly excited to guide him around the office, taking the senior role with pride. nikolai doesn't let it slip that he doesn't care about what you do or where the break room is, so he happily follows you around and shares your enthusiasm. you're all friendly and helpful to him, and he doesn't mind at all but it was a little annoying when he was trying to bug a meeting room and you just came around the corner, insisting he check out the new coffee machine. well, despite how irritating it got, he couldn't bring himself to dislike you for it.
and really, he can't help but tease you a little, watching the startled expression when he stares at you a little too coldly for a little too long, or lets it casually slip that he knew about the organization, though he's a little surprised by how quickly you bounce back to your usual carefree manner. oh, but the fun hadn't started yet! he was mostly looking forward, to the after. he couldn't wait to see your expression when you realize you've been cheated all along, and how you were going to die by his hands—
—but when the day came, it wasn't even a little satisfying to see you crumble. he didn't expect to be consumed entirely with guilt when he sees you tear up, hurt in your eyes. something inside him aches; he knows he's not invulnerable to feeling like this, but this intensity of emotion was new. he can't bear to look at you, facing the horror etched into your face at the sight of him, so he just disappears into his coat, leaving you somewhere far away from the devastation.
despite how much he yearns to be free he can't let you experience the same, unable to stop thinking about you. he checks in on you from time to time, hoping you'd try seeking him out. after all, he was the only other person who knew what happened, and you couldn't rely on anyone like you could on him. he knew you better than anyone else, all your secrets and your thoughts, and you'd need him by your side.
he'll definitely give into his urges and kidnap you eventually. he can't bear to be away from you, not after he knows you're probably feeling lonely, not knowing anyone else who could understand you. well, you probably didn't want to see the man who ruined your life, but it wasn't like you had many options. he's sorry that he hurt you, really! nikolai promises to be good, to go back to being the guy you befriended, but only if you promise to stay by his side.
OMG i get to talk about khamgalai ive been dying to talk about khamgalai im so fucking mad at khamgalai
i have said stuff about it on this post (sorry im only putting it here cause i started looking for it on my blog and couldnt find it until i went through a post sorter site and i got so upset about it fhdglh so ill have it here just in case i guess) https://www.tumblr.com/tetsuooooooooooo/710065228547866624/anyway-anyone-wanna-hear-about-my-muriel-tired-of?source=share
aaaand liike i started replaying the route recently partially cause i wanted to find anything that would prove me wrong in this matter and i am only halfway through but its Not going GREAT
because it wouldve all been perfectly fine if they didnt choose to establish that she apparently knew the whole time where muriel was and what he was doing. i dont know how much she saw but like. she saw it.
cause this bitch really saw muriel. child muriel. baby. possibly last of her kin. fucking living out on the streets homeless starving getting kicked around god knows what happening to him
and went aw lemme get a snapshot for the family album and just LEFT HIM THERE
AND IM LIKE BITCH I THOUGHT YOU LIKE CARED ABOUT HIM OR SOMETHING I MEAN SHE FOOLED ME WITH ALL THAT CRYING AND THE THINGS SHE SAID WHEN WE MET HER THE FIRST TIME BUT GODDAMN I GUESS SHES JUST AS MUCH OF A "PAIN BUILDS CHARACTER" BOOMER AS MORGA
cause okay even if it was like future visions n shit like thats their magic thing theN LIKE YOU STILL KNOW MORE THAN YOU DID BEFORE YOU KNOW THERES A CITY IN THE NORTH NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AND WHERE HE CAN BE AND ITS A COUPLE WEEKS AWAY BUT YOURE A FUCKING NOMAD AND NOT THAT OLD YET
like WHAT is the reason she absolutely would not even attempt to come get him other than The Story Needs To Happen this is spiderverse all over again except now im on miles side i hate this hichjgs and like yeah ok the story needs to happen he needs to be the way he is and destiny and whatever but like when were in a story where we know theres a whole 5 other ways to go about solving this problem and its all choice oriented and stuff it kinda just. ya know. it doesnt glass my onions very much vnxviydy i dont know how to put it but u get it
and like
YOU THOUGHT WHAT?? WHAT THE SIGNAL CUT AFTER HE GOT OUT OF THE FUCKING CAGE HE WAS LIVING IN AND YOU COULDNT SEE HIM ANYMORE AND YOU THOUGHT WHAT THAT HE DIED??? girl dont FUCK with me you aint give a shit if he lived or died ok that was harsh im getting really heated this is so messy lol
its probably gonna turn out in a minute that she said something in the ghost realm that makes it make sense but i dont remember that all i recall is us hangin out and her calling me out for being a furry and them being all "u saw me over there and u still like me?" " aw of course i like u come give ghost grandma a hug" thats how i remember that going down fhxhyietfh so yeah ill find out soon enough
Ooh, I think I remember wondering about that when I last played Muriel's route! I'll leave it to other Muriel fans to share their thoughts on it too, since my memory is a bit fuzzy at the moment XD
@tetsuooooooooooo that makes total sense to be upset about though, especially when you're seeing all of this from Muriel's side! T~T I'll be curious to hear what you think as you keep playing the route! ^.^
OMG THOSE EPS--- I HAVE SO MANY EMOTIONS I CANT---
HAZBIN HOTEL EP 7-8 SPOILERS WARNING‼️
Okay so Charlie actually didnt forget Vaggie for lying for that long, which is understandable, really.
So Charlie ACTUALLY MADE A DEAL WITH ALASTOR NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIMES VAGGIE TOLD HER NOT TO.
Rosie is really sweet lady, but im not really vibing her voice
But i really DO vibe the cannibals. They all have this cool aesthetic n i really love that!
Carmillas n Vaggies song was also really good!
Also when Vaggies wings SUDDENLY N OUT OF NOWHERE came out i was like: OKAAAAAYY... IM NOT SURE WHY BUT GO OFF IG!!
ALSO OMG THIS SONG WHERE CHARLIE IS TRYING TO BRING CANNIBALS ON HER SIDE WAS SO COOL, ESPECIALLY THE END PART THAT WAS IN DA TRAILER, ITS SO COOL JSHSBSJSJ
Also they so cute n silly, I love em
AND AWWW THEY ALL GOT ALONG N BECOME FRIENDS 😭😭😭😭 I JUST KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN IN THE NEXT EP N THIS MAKES IT LOOK SO SAD 😭😭😭😭😭😭
the 8th ep...
OMG VOX IS BACK HIIIIIII!!!!!!! I MISSED U SO MUCHHH
AWWW NIFTY DID THIS LIL THINGY FOR ALASTOR ITS SO CUTE
Also can we talk bout how Charlie n Vaggie FINALLY KISSED??? I CANT IMMA JUST----
Im really so glad that Alastor is actually protecting the hotel and all people in it, hes probably doing it just because he have no choice, but i really hope that he do care about Charlie n everyone else. Also their fighting outfits is really cool. AND THE ANIMATIONS WHEN HE TOOK HIS DEMON FORM WAS SOOOO COOL, IT WAS LIKE IN 3D (maybe it actually was in 3d idk-)
Okay yknow.. When Adam blasted (idk if thats a correct word for that) at Alastor n broke his michrophone and Als voice became so clear, like, without any radio effects, I actually thought that he lost all his abilities, cuz Adam is clearly stronger than Al, and i got so scared becuz that would mean that he wont be able to protect the hotel anymore and maybe even die... But it didnt happen so its all good!!
Also Vox watching this whole fight being so exited for Als death was kinda funny to watch.
Okay.... I dont wanna cry again so can i not talk about sir Pentious? Thank you. All i gotta say, I really happy he managed to confess his feelings to Cherri before he... yknow...
Also Charlie FINALLY TOOK HER FULL DEMON FORM. N I ACTUALLY WAS NOT EXPECTIN RAZZLE N DAZZLE TO BE A GIANT DRAGONS THAT WAS SO COOL without thinking that one of them died...
Also i immediatly thought that sparing Lute was a mistake. Guess what? IT WAS!! :DDDDDD
ALSO I THROUGH THIS WHOLE FIGHT WAS REALLY HOPING THAT LUCI WILL COME OUT N SLAUGHT ALL THOSE BITHES FOR GOOD. N HE DID!!! I LITERALLY, ALL IN TEARS AFTER SR PENTIOUS' DEATH, WAS SO HAPPY I WAS LIKE: FUCKING FUCK YESSS!!! KILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS!!! '!!'! '! ₽!! 3!&!& ALSO I ADORE THE FACT THAT EVEN IN A FIGHT HES SUCH A SILLY CUTIE PATOOTIE.
And we saw his demon form n its really cool!
ALSO I WAS SO ANGRY WHEN CHARLIE MADE LUCI SPARE ADAM LIKE-- PLS LUCI KILL HIM N LUTE, THEY CLEARLY DONT DESERVE TO LIVE. Also we saw Adams real face which is kinda cool.
ADN MY GIRL NIFFTY DID ALL THE JOB HERSELF, LIKE GOOD JOB GURL! I KHEW WE CAN COUNT ON U.
Okay, at 1st ep i was not sure bout Katies new voice, cuz it clearly was hearable that its a mans voice, but in this ep its actually working! I absolutely loved this: «Nobody gives a shit about you, Tom!» xd
Ok so.... Ill try not to scream... khem- THEYRE CANNON!!!! THEYRE!!! FUCKING!!! CANNON!!!!! IM SO HAPPY U CANT EVEN UNDERSTAND!!!!!!! I FUCKING KHEW THAT THEYLL BE CANNON, IM A FUCKING GENIUS IDC. IK THERE WILL BE SOME PPL THAT WILL BE LIKE: "nOoO tHeY rE nOt cAnNoN iTs pRoBaBlY mIsAnDerStOoDinG....." YOU KNOW WHAT? FUCK YOU. THEY ARE CANNON, I DONT GIVE A SHIT!!!! FUCK U IF U THINK THEYRE NOT TOGETHER
JUST LOOK AT THEM THEYRE SO CUTE AAAAAA
Also this last part of the song with Alastor was so strange. Yk english is not my first language so i probably missed alot what he said in that, but i clearly remember that he said something bout his wings n i was like WHAAAAT????? I know i probably just heard it wrong, cuz HE JUST CANT BE AN ANGEL RIGHT?... RIGHT??? He also said smt bout his freedom, so yeah, I think the wings was just a metaphor. But overall he looked really scared for some reason, which is actually so weird. Its so weird to see Alastor actually being scared..
ALSO WE FINALLY SAW LILITH, but sadly didnt hear her voice. N what is weird, it looked like she was on sorta vacathion, and Lute talked with her bout Adam being Killed AND THATS SO WEIRD AHHH I CANT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT IS HER ROLE IN ALL HERE!!
ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT CHARLIE WAS RIGHT?? SINNERS CAN BE REDEEMED. CUZ PENTIOUS APPEARED IN HEAVEN AFTER HIS DEATH (n im really-really happy for him actually, im so glad that he didnt dissapear from the show, cuz he actually was my fav character in the pilot)
aoisjdjdjndndnns i cant wait for season 2!!!! Ig that the main antogonists in this season will finally be VEES?? OHHH IM SO EXITEDDDD
spoilers for bsd s5 and maybe 110 but fuck knows wats happening next week
AYA BABY NO
SCREW UR BIO DAD HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF IN HELL. GO LIVE W KUNIKIDA AND BRAM
AYYAAAAAAAAAA. she’s my child my kid sister if something bad happens to her i will and i am not joking murder-
nsjsjsjs BRAM MY BOI PROTECT UR DAUGHTER. ILY BOTH TOO MUCH SISIIAJEHJQJSJSJD
omg sigma he’s beautiful
SIGMA RUN RUN RUN THATS A DEMON FROM HELL DONT LET HIM TOUCH U MY GODS DAZ WHAT DID BONES DO TO U
ok daz has a thing for cupping ppls cheeks. i will not eleborate
THIMBS UP????? WAIT TILL A GLOCK IS AT UR HEAD U STUPID BASTARD PEICE OF SHI-
i’m g the one time sigma can b happy 😭😭 he deserve the world wksjdndhd
BITCH. U CRAZY BITCH GET OUT IF HERE W UR DUMBASS ILL LEAVE THE REST TO U GO FACE UR RESPONSIBILITIES U LAZY ASS SACK OF SHIT BEFORE ME AND KUNIKIDA COME BEAT UR ASS
fuck. get out. i’m not crying u r
BOI U TELL HIM SHOOT HIS ANEMIC ASS. bro sigmas trying his best and it shows and i luv him with all my heart omfg
omg my boi
NDJDJDJS AYA YES. bother ur father until he does smth yes girl go go go go slay save the world i believe
oh but u care abt u daughter don’t u. cmon u can’t deny it. ayas ur daughter and there’s nothing u can do abt it
wait i didn’t capture it but she’s says father. so if it’s confirmed that aya is some reincarnation of brams daughter. good to have confirmation
DJDJDJ HE LOOKS SO BABYGIRL. and the way his voice went up omg. fedya baby y r u so fake ily
WHY CANT MY SILLIES COEXIST DAMMIT. CMON PLZ JUS LET THME BE GRUMPY COWORKERS NOT STABBING EACH OTHER
yes i would love to take ibuprofen w u rn i rlly need it
FATHER DAUGHTER IN COOL LIGHTING SJSJDBXBS i’m so normal abt them wdym
oh hi chuu i messed u. plz come back i need a happy ending i beg
ah yes daz being the ass as usual. i’ll let it pass this time tho.
yes the power of friendship will never go wrong skin manifest it bsd magical girls and then they beat fukichis ass
AAAKKFJDJDJD NOOOO DAZ
birch i hate u sm come back to me
bones where r the eyes don’t leave those out u cowards
oh nvm that’s my sleep paralysis demon
ADAM. VERLAINE. WELLS. SOMEONE. SHOW UP AND TANK THE DAMN NUKE PLZZZZZZZZ
BRAM
it’s red for his death 😭😭😭
well. that was a trip. idk what’s happening next week but bones better not fuck it up.
and that’s a wrap from ur tired delulu very upset abt 110 hostess