#ill be chill and fine i just have to complain first haha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nintendont2502 · 4 months

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cant find the original post but a while ago i impulsively decided to add all 32 sburb players (betas, alphas, alternians *and* beforans) to a random name generator and then randomly mix them up - characters kept their original first name and class, and took on the last name and aspect of whatever character they took the role of. this was just meant to be a funny 1am experiment so i could laugh at the cursed results

...yeah it has lore now. i cant stop thinking about it. help.

Beta Kids:

Gamz Egbert (Gamzee) - Bard of Breath. One of the most chill guys ever. Constantly zoned the hell out. Loves clowns :0) him and his dad bond over it. Hangs out with Kari a lot over vc, where it's basically just Kari talking at him uninterrupted (the kid needs it sometimes)

Kari Strider (Kankri) - Seer of Time. Gifted kid and he won't let you forget it. Permanently lives in a sweater vest even though he literally lives in Texas. Constantly annoyed by how childish and immature his older brother is. Lectures him a lot. Lectures his friends a lot. Has 'visions of his past lives' (aka occasional memories from his post-scratch/alternate timeline counterparts). Lectures his friends about how theyre real and valid whenever they make give him shit for it (which happens a lot). Dedicated pacifist - for now, anyway.

John Lalonde - Heir of Light. Golden child. Has an over-bearing mother that constantly pushes him into learning instruments/lanugages/skills, participating in competitions and events, winning award after award. Sure, he's... kinda sick of doing things all day every day, and he doesn't really want to do any of this, but... shouldn't he do it anyway? Even if just for his Mom? Hell, he can't really complain about it, right? He has such a good life! He goes horseback riding every sunday! Sure, it sucks that he doesn't have any free time that isn't controlled by his mother, but he can deal with it. It's fine.

(Things get even worse during the three year trip when Wuh Oh! Gender crisis time! Except he can’t be a girl because he was always meant to be his mom’s perfect son, and he’s already let her down once by letting her die, right? He can just… live with this. Its fine. It's not that bad. It's for her, after all.)

Roxy Harley - Rogue of Space. Grew up living on a small island somewhere in the Pacific that her grandfather 'won in a poker game' (aka probably scammed someone out of, knowing him) - or so he says, anyway. He also used to say he got Roxy the same way every time she asked where she came from! Haha very funny Roxy definitely loved hearing that and not a real response every time she asked where she came from and why she didn’t have any parents. That was great. Her grandfather died when she was fairly young, leaving her alone on the island with nothing left of him but the small inventions he left around the place to make life easier for her. She grows up learning how to maintain them, and although she tries becoming a great inventor like her grandfather, she just... doesn't have the skill. Hacking, on the other hand - shes great at that shit! She finally cracks her final goal - cracking into her grandfathers servers - just before her friend Gamz's 13th birthday, finding mostly boring shit - expenses, customer complaints, legal threats, budgets, etc. What's mildly more interesting to her, however, is the insane amount of money (if they lived on the mainland, they'd be fucking LOADED), and a .exe file for a really cool looking game, with a note from her grandfather congratulating her on finally getting in. And hey, would you look at that? Its multiplayer! And all her friends are free - even John, who through sheer coincidence found himself with a free weekend after his tutors came down with various mysterious illnesses and injuries. It's like the universe wants them to play the game or some shit! Haha wild

Alpha Kids:

Raph Crocker (Rufioh) - Rogue of Life. The living embodiment of all those business major memes. Dude is *dedicated* to the Crockercorp brand - he's determined that one day, he'll climb the ranks and become head of the company, and hopefully lead it just as well as his great-grandfather did. He unironically wears a suit everywhere, and seems committed to sounding like a 50 year old boardroom exec trapped in the body of a 16 year old - although it isn't hard to get him to crack. As much as he pretends he has no patience for his online friends and their constant stories of 'living on a remote island' or 'living in the post-apocalyptic future' (seriously guys, he isn't that gullible), he does genuinely care about them. Besides, when you're stuck in the house all day, there isn't much else to do.

Tuna Strider (Mituna) - Heir of Heart. Trans king. Exudes pure 'disney channel older brother' energy. Shithead (affectionate). Looks up to his Bro, a famous pacifist who resisted the Batterwitch's rule with a global peaceful protest... only to be killed the moment he became too much of a threat. Yyeah. Tuna has... some thoughts about how that should have gone down - most of them involving swords. Or guns. Or both. Maybe if his Bro had a sweet katana, the world wouldn't have been flooded! Although it's too late for his Bro, Tuna has decided to take up the fight in his stead by creating his own 'sick as fuck gun-sword' with whatever scrap metal he can find in the apartment (his Bro, for some reason, didn't think to leave him any useable weapons. cringe). He's got the sword part down great, but the gun... not so much.

Vris Lalonde (Vriska) - Thief of Void. The second half of the 't4t post apocalypse chaos squad', as Tuna calls them. Girl doxxes people for fun - what are they gonna do? Doxx her back? lmao good luck with that losers - closest youre gonna get is still 400 years off. Constantly daring her friends to do stupid shit and quote, 'stop being so fucking boringggg'. it usually works on tuna. sometimes on dave. she still hasnt gotten raph yet, but *one day*...

Dave English - Knight of Hope. smooth talking mile a minute inventor who *loves* trying to 'pitch' his latest invention to his friends. its become almost a game to them, where theyll take turns bidding increasingly ridiculous amounts for an umbrella that shoots seeds ('for easy planting in the rain yknow') or a beat-boxing robot ('i dont even need to explain this one just look at it man. cool as shit'). hell, even raph gets involved sometimes, usually turning it into a shark tank style negotiation. dave swears hes keeping a tally of how much everyone 'owes' him, and claims that one day hes settling that bill. his inventions are genuinely pretty impressive, especially considering his limited resources - being stuck alone on a remote island makes sourcing parts pretty hard. he probably wouldnt even need to jokingly scam his friends in order to jokingly sell his inventions - they jokingly sell themselves. he just thinks scamming people is fun.

Alternia Rapid Fire Round lets goo

Cronus Megido - Bard of Time. relentlessly flirts with anyone of a higher caste than him in the hopes that, if he can get into a quadrant with them, he'll have more protection than he would as just a solo rustblood. this strategy ultimately fails when he flirts with a particular Serket one too many times and gets killed for it. damn. oh well.

Sollux Nitram - so so tired of everyones shit. the only person that actually vaguely got along with Cronus (because he was the only person that Cronus didn't flirt with). just wants to play his pokemon in peace man stop dragging him into drama

Damara Captor - Witch of Doom. 'curses' people. seems weirdly unsurprised when those curses actually work. after cronus' death, a rumour went around that she was the one who caused it, and she absolutely wasnt denying that shit - now no one wants to fuck with her, and those that do? well, she still has her psiionics.

Meulin Vantas - Mage of Blood. Basically the only fucking thing holding this friendship group together. Despite all the complicated as shit relationships - the friendships, the exes, the mortal enemies, the attempted (and successful) murders - Meulin somehow manages to navigate the web of relationships and keep everyone relatively stable

Jaydee Leijon (Jade) - Witch of Heart. catgirl :33. Wishes she lived closer to everyone so she could see them 33: especially her moirail!! at least she still has her lusus to playfight with

Karkat Maryam - Knight of Space. basically a tboy vampire. Used to live in the caverns, but after he realised he was a dude, he began to feel uncomfortable with how oppressive and 'feminine' the caverns were. ran away. struggles with his identity - the contrast between the typical female jadeblood standards of being caring and nurturing, and the typical alternian female standards of being violent and aggressive, leave him stuck in the middle, unsure of what to do or who hes 'allowed' to be. swings wildly between being aggressive and letting himself care about his friends. he eventually figures out that gender stereotypes are bullshit and he can care abt his friends and still be a dude. hes still an asshole though <3

Eridan Pyrope - Prince of Mind. Incredibly committed to a strict moral code - which... no one can figure out. it seems to vary wildly depending on what suits him best at the specific moment. Used to roam Alternia looking for 'criminals' to 'improve' or, if that failed, 'bring to justice' with one Serket, but after an incident involving the loss of three eyes and one arm... they arent exactly on speaking terms.

Dyrrhk Serket (Dirk) - Prince of Light. i dont know how else to say it this mfer makes saw traps. he claims its to 'improve' people - by putting them through some specific trap, it... fixes a percieved issue? even if its an issue only he can see. and if they die in the trap? well, they should have just tried harder right. they probably deserved it. he isnt even doing this out of a desire to hurt people hes *genuinely* convinced that what hes doing is helping, and thinks that this is the best way to go about it. puts eridan through one one day, resulting in the loss of his vision, and after he (finally) figured out that 'huh maybe that wasnt a good idea', he... apologises. lmao just kidding that would be too reasonable - instead he mind controls one of his friends into putting *dyrrhk* into a trap of his own design, resulting in the loss of an eye and an arm. he seems genuinely convinced that this should make them even. everythings fine now, right? he scares me just on a conceptual level

Tavros Zahhak - Page of Void. hes basically a himbo im ngl. hes tall hes ripped hes clumsy and he cant help but draw attention to himself wherever he goes - attention he *hates*. moirails with jaydee. theyre cute <>

Latula Makara - Knight of Rage. clown... despite the usual purpleblood stereotypes, she doesnt really get angry all that often - most of the time, shes just vibing. but when she *does* get angry? its always for a reason. theres always a specific goal shes fulfilling through that anger (even if its just intimidating someone into doing something). i have the least thoughts about her but shes interesting

Jaiikk Ampora (Jake) - Page of Hope. Just a funny lil guy that likes playing pirates :) all the lowbloods he roleplays with definitely want to be there and don't feel coerced by being 'asked' by a literal violetblood :)) if people die during his 'games' well that sucks but he cant exacly stop playing because of a few small accidents right? ..yyeah. hes incredibly ignorant of his position in society and how that effects other people, even if (especially if) those consequences are deadly for others. after a certain point its just easier to not know whats going on than to face all the damage youve caused right. claims he loves the ocean and dreams of living in the depths. never goes into the ocean. hes a weird guy

Equius Peixes - Heir of Life. Future heir to the Alternian throne. Determined to lead Alternia into a new era of strength, no matter the methods to get there. moirails with Jaiikk (which absolutely doesnt help the whole 'Jaiikk accidentally pressuring lowbloods into doing things for him' thing. bro has scary dog privileges with the future emperor looming behind him at all times)

Even faster Beforus speed round because you cant legally make me think about them for more than five seconds

Porrim Megido - Maid of Time

Feferi Nitram - Witch of Breath

Rose Captor - Seer of Doom

Nepeta Vantas - Rogue of Blood

Kurloz Leijon - Prince of Heart

Aradia Maryam - Mage of Space

Aranea Pyrope - Sylph of Mind

Kanaya Serket - Sylph of Light

Jane Zahhak - Maid of Void

Meenah Makara - Thief of Rage

Terezi Ampora - Seer of Hope

Horuss Peixes - Page of Life

#me.txt #christ this was long #randomiser au #homestuck #i love these guys sm #they haunt me #ask me questions abt them please please pleas eim so so normal

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butteraway · 3 years

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when time runs out | iv

⋆ summary: A young girl has fallen deeply ill with an unknown disease in her, so with all her free time spent in an empty hospital room, she spends it online playing video games. That's until she meets her cousins friends, one spiking her interest with his extremely vulgare language.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x reader

word count: 2.5k

warnings: none

authors note: I wanna say im so sorry for lying to yall about that extra chapter KJDFFF😭😭 ALSO @chibiiichann I APOLOGIZE FOR SPAMMING YOU WHENEVER I REPLIED TO YOU💀 A DIFFERENT ACC WOULD POP UP BUT THE FIRST CHAPTER WAS AN INTRODUCTORY CHAPTER EXPLAINING THE OC'S CONDITION JFJDJD

"HAHA! I GOTCHU NOW LOSER!" Y/N smashed the buttons on her controller, basically on the edge of her bed. A grunt was heard through her headphones, then a loud bang with laughing in the background. Y/N felt her stomach turn at the sound of this, feeling a little left out, but smiled nonetheless.

"HOW'D YOU EVEN DO THAT?!! YOU’RE DOING SOME HACKING MY GUY!" Denki yelled through the laughing in the background, hands pulling at his hair. He seriously couldn't believe it!

"I'm not! I just wanted to show Sero I'm way better at this game than you are. And turns out I am!" Y/N let out a loud laugh, falling backwards onto her pillow. After finding out that 'Tape Dispenser' went to her cousin’s school by hearing his voice in the back of Denki's room, she got to learn more about this Sero dude. She already knew this after their last game a few nights ago, but he was so chill. It was still insane for her to find out that her cousin and online friend went to the same hero school. The coincidences in this world. Y/N thought as she grinned.

"It's okay Kaminari, you still lasted a long time! But you did get brutally beat by Y/N at the end though..." Sero said, trying to raise Denki's low spirits, but only succeeded in making him more miserable. Rustling was heard through Y/N's headphones, making it obvious that there was movement happening.

"You don't understand Sero! THIS IS THE ONLY GAME I COULD FULLY BEAT THIS GIRL IN!" Denki shook Sero by the shoulders, quickly doing the action. Cackling was heard through the speakers while the girl wiped a tear from her eye. Sero laughed along, as he was pushed to the ground by Denki. His arms were crossed as he looked away, upset that Y/N managed to finally beat him in every game they played.

"It's okay Denki, not everyone can be as good as me!" Y/N exclaimed, getting up from her bed to start taping specific parts of her room. Kaminari continued to complain about his defeat to Sero, who only chuckled in response. As she finished taping the bottom of the walls, Y/N sat back on her bed, sighing in content.

"So, how are you? I'm doing terribly after being utterly destroyed by you, by the way." Said Kaminari, opening his water bottle and taking large gulps from it. Y/N felt her face light up as she remembered to tell Kaminari of her future activity.

"Bro, you won't believe this! So, basically, they're actually letting me paint my room! All by myself! How fricking cool is that?!" The girl laughed out loud, jumping on her bed in excitement. Kaminari's eyes widen, in surprise and slight fear, sitting up and taking in the new information.

"Wait, really? But isn't that like extremely dangerous? Cuz of the chemicals and what not??" He tried his best to keep his voice leveled, not noticing Sero look at him weirdly. That guy had no idea what was happening.

"Well, they said that they were gonna do something to the paint so it won't hurt me or anything, I don't know what, but-" Y/N was cut off by an extremely confused Sero. "Wait wait wait, hold on. I don't understand what's happening. How can paint harm you? Besides like...eating it. And what do you mean by 'finally getting to paint your room?’ Silence was the only answer he got. Sero gulped in embarrassment, thinking he asked a really personal question.

"Um, it's nothing du-" A loud 'shhhhhhh' was heard from Y/N, who let out a shaky breath. She never really told anyone, it's not like she could either way, being confined in the hospital room for a long time. She pushed a loose strand of her away from her face, preparing herself to tell Sero.

"Well, the reason is because I basically live in a hospital. I can't go outside, or have 'unpurified' air, as the doctors like to say, meaning my interactions with people and the outside world are extremely limited. That means anything that's not cleared of dust and germs, I guess, can be extremely harmful for me? As pathetic as it sounds, it could actually kill me, haha." It was quiet as Sero took in the information, a large wave of emotions crashing on him. A person shouldn't have to be locked in a room for the rest of their life. Especially someone who is such a sweet person like Y/N.

"I-I'm so sorry to hear that Y/N. If you don't mind me asking, how...how long have you been in the hospital?" The young girl answered with a quick 'Two years', and that's when Sero felt his stomach twist uncomfortably. Kaminari abruptly got up and headed towards his door.

"I'm gonna get something to eat, you want something dude?" Kaminari's voice was low and trembling. It didn't take a genius to see that the blonde haired boy needed some time alone. "No thanks." Kaminari let out a hum, quickly exiting his room and closing the door shut. Sero heard the loud sniffs that slowly faded away, as he hung his head down.

"Hey, you good Sero? That was probably a lot to take in, sorry." Sero shook his head, letting a sad smile adorn his face. "It's fine, really. I actually feel honored that you're comfortable telling me. Feels like we're getting closer, to be honest." He smiled happily, meaning every word he said. And Y/N knew that. "Ha, we are though!" The air was tense, despite the two teenagers being in different rooms.

Y/N went to clear her throat, but was interrupted when a light knock echoed throughout her room. "Someone there?" Sero asked, noticing her silence and hearing the very faint knocking.

"Yeah, um Sero, I'll call you guys later, my doctor wants to talk." Y/N quickly replied, seeing Receen open the door and walk in with his thin suit on. Sero let out an ok and they hang up. Y/N finally took in how the doctor looked, noticeable eye bags under his blue-grey eyes, from lack of sleep. His dark hair slightly tousled, probably from putting on the protective helmet that came with the suit, and a small smile on his welcoming face. And a large container of paint in his left hand. Her eyes immediately lit up.

"What’s up doc? I see you have something in your hand, can I see it closer?" The small girl asked, getting up and making a grabbing motion with her hands. Receen chuckled, lifting up the paint for Y/N to see. Even if he were to hand her the container, she wouldn't be able to hold. She was just too weak. Said girl let out a high pitch 'OOOO ' in excitement.

"I'm not sure if you wanted more, but we managed to get you your favorite color! This should be enough to paint the room, you can even put a second layer if you want." Receen walked over to where Y/N put all the equipment, opening the container of paint. And with a low grunt from him, the lid was opened. Y/N watched with amazement as the doctor poured the soft looking paint into a tray. She picked up a roller near her, and drowned the roller in paint, the white fluff getting covered in color.

The two began painting, Y/N's hand shaking every now and then. After painting half the room, they sat in silence, resting for a while. Receen seemed to be tense, though Y/N didn't seem to notice since she was too happy to speak. Receen let out a breath, breaking the silence, causing Y/N to look towards him.

"I didn't get to ask you how you were, did I Y/N? How are you?" Said girl let a beaming smile spread on her face, causing Receen to slightly squint his eyes from the intensity of her smile. "Honestly, I haven't felt this happy in a very long time! I actually still can't believe you guys really let me do this! Thank you so much!"

Receen gave her a small smile while rubbing the back of his neck. "It's not a problem, you could’ve asked sooner and gotten this done a long time ago. You've been here for two years, so please don't be afraid of asking for things!" At the mention of her time spent in the hospital, Y/N lowered her head, causing Receen to wince. Well, might as well tell her. The doctor cleared his throat and began to talk.

"Y/N, as you are aware, I, along with many other doctors and scientists, have been working hard for you to be able to go outside again. To see your family, hug them, be a normal kid again." There was a pause and that alone caught Y/N's attention. She looked up at him. "There is a way for you to finally do that, Y/N."

Shock evident on the girl's face, she abruptly stood up and faced the doctor. There was absolutely no way anyone could have found a cure for someone like her. Someone who had an incurable sickness. Someone who was too sick, to even have medicine. He's lying. Y/N narrowed her eyes at the grown man sitting in front of her.

"With all due respect Doctor, I highly doubt that that's possible. Cuz, y'know? I basically have an incurable disease? I mean, like, even if you did manage to find a way for me to leave this place, how do you even know it's gonna work? I don't think you've tried this medicine since no one in recorded hospital documents in the past have had people like that checked in before-"

"How do you even know that?"

"-so how do you truly know it'll work?" Y/N quickly finished, completely ignoring his statement. Receen sighed, scratching his head. "We live in a world where quirks exist. Would you believe me if I told you centuries ago that the human race would evolve to have super powers? It's kind of like that, but not really." Y/N eyed him suspiciously. He's avoiding the question.

Receen looked straight at the girl standing in front of him. He felt slightly intimidated by her piercing gaze. He quickly looked away and got up, towering over Y/N's small frame. Then he smiled. "Y/N, you are a very sweet girl, no doubt about it. I know how much you want to get out of here, and I want to help you. My team has created this almost perfect pill, especially suited for your sickness. I know you're very cautious, just like your mother, but I can only reassure you, that these are your ticket out of here." He pulled out the bottle from his protective suit, shaking it in front of [Y/N].

Her eyes widened as she restrained herself from reaching out and snatching the bottle. Her eyes slightly narrowed as she pulled herself together. Crossing her arms and slightly tilting her upwards, she looked into the doctor's bright eyes. "There's always a catch when it comes to these kinds of things. What's the price if I take these? My lifespan shortens, I only have five hours to go outside, it drugs me or something?"

"I'm hurt you think I would just give you these without setting out the consequences." There was a slight glint in his eyes before it quickly disappeared. Y/N hummed, urging the doctor to continue.

"There are exactly 15 pills in here. And consuming just one of these bad boys right here, would allow you to go outside! Though, time is very important when taking these. You'd have 10 hours before the pills effects wear off. These would dull your hypersensitive senses, but not to a point where you can't feel, smell or do anything. No no, it'd just be like how you were before. You'd feel slightly dizzy and be a little itchy, but besides that, nothing too extreme. It just dulls all your body senses down." Receen gave Y/N a small smile. She looked a little weary, unsure if what he said was true. She looked at the bottle then back to Doctor Receen, fingers twitching every now and then. Breathing in and letting it out slowly, Y/N stared straight into the doctor's eyes.

If I take these, I can finally go out. I can hug mom and dad, I can be around Denki again. I can meet Sero face to face and feel the grass again! I can be... happy again. But if these don't actually work, I'd immediately die on the spot. I'd be able to go outside though. Aah, so much going outside, I can meet new people! I don't wanna spend the rest of my days slowly rotting away in here anyway.

"So Y/N, are you going to take them or let all our time go to waste?"

Sero looked at his hands solemnly, thinking about what Y/N had told him. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat, then lightly slapped his cheeks to stop the wave of emotions from spilling out.

"Yo, you good dude? It's not everyday I see someone willingly slapping themselves." Kaminari chuckled, walking in and closing the door with his foot as he carried a soda bottle and a bag of chips towards the boy sitting on his bed. Sero grinned, feeling the sadness of everything wash away.

"Yeah, I'm perfectly fine. But what about you though? After we had that conversation, you were, well, umm... kind of out of it." Kaminari froze, letting a dejected smile appear on his face. Dragging a hand down his face, he let out a sorrowful laugh.

"She's my best friend. My first real, true friend. She's basically my sister at this point. So when she collapsed that day, I felt my whole world crashing down. She is the sweetest, the most kindest, person I have ever met. She never let me degrade myself, alway cheered me up when people called me stupid." Kaminari rubbed his eyes, opening the bag of chips and plopping one of them into his mouth.

"It hasn't been the same ever since she left, her parents barely come over anymore, and they're always so sad whenever I see them. My own parents aren't the same either, they treated her like their own daughter. I can't even begin to imagine how Y/N feels about this all. She was the top in our grade, highest scores in our test. No one could compare to her. M-my heart breaks for her. She lost everything." Sero let that information sink in, thinking about how she was before. He smiled as he saw Kaminari's shoulders begin to shake. He cares so much for her.

He put his hand on his shoulder, watching Kaminari slowly lift his face towards him. "Come here you emotional ball of feelings." Being the friendly guy he is, Sero gave the sobbing boy a hug, cuz hugs fix everything.

"No homo though bro." And with that, they both laughed out loud, continuing their bro day.

#bakugou katsuki #bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou katuski x reader #mha #bnha #mha angst #bnha fluff #bnha x reader #fanfic

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taehyungtrash2-0 · 4 years

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Sincerely, Love and Affection Ch. 2

— genre ➙ fluff but smutty words

— words ➙ 3383

— member ➙ Yuta Nakamoto

— warnings ➙ slowburn! strangers to lovers! foreigner!

Note: i read over it once, ill read over it again tomorrow, please take it easy on me the next chapter will be MUCH MUCH BETTER AHHHHHH -JR

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“So are we all going to act like the hottest girl we have all ever seen didn't just give Yuta her number?” Haechan asked sitting back on the couch. Everyone else going back to what they were doing before the sexual tension in the air was thick like a milkshake.

“Hey shut up, I don't want to deal with Johnny hearing about it yet.” Doyoung grumbled, heading back to the kitchen.

“Didn't want me to hear what?” Johnny asked walking back into the living room with a tissue still in his nose.

“Oh nothing, just y/n gave Yuta her number.” Ten said devilishly, knowing the chaos that was about to happen. My eyes widening like saucers, shit. It was so fast how it escalated, Johnny’s face went red, his fists clenched and then he lunged. Taeil caught him before he reached me across the room, Mark and Doyoung holding him back as I just stood there.

“You what!?” he charged angrily, Doyoung and Mark pulling him back more. Everyone, now standing to help with the situation.

You need to chill the hell out, Taeyong and y/n are just upstairs.” Taeil spoke firmly to Johnny. Slowly calming himself and letting the guys loosen their hold.

“What the hell is your problem? Everyone knows I am into her, so why the fuck would you do that to me, Yuta.” he asked, hurt in his voice.

“I’m sorry Hyung, she just started talking to me in Japanese and offered to be a friend.” I shrugged. That was technically not a lie but man it summed it up yeah? Totally no chemistry or trace of sexual desire...haha.

“Oh yeah it's totally not because she smelled nice and looked like a pornstar. Not to mention she has the sweetest voice and-” Lucas rambled on, staring into space.

“I think they got the picture Lucas.” Kun patted his shoulder, returning to his phone.

“Ughhhhhhhh!” he whined, stomping his foot and heading back to his room. Okay, that was much too close for me to be comfortable. Maybe I should just sit on the couch with my back to the wall for a while.

---

“I told you this on the phone, we exchanged plushies so we could be close even though there were 1,155 kilometers between us. Now that I’m back I WANT MY BUNNY BACK!” I yelled, grabbing it from his hands again.

“But I’ve grown attached, besides, you haven’t brought me my bear back so?” he argued, attempting to grab it back as I reached the door and swung it open.

“Help! Taeyongie is going to take my bunny from me!” I shrieked and ran out to the living room hiding behind the first body I see, clutching to his shirt tightly with my bunny in my arms.

“You gave it to me!” he rushed in, pointing his finger at me. Everyone now looking at us, enjoying the fight to death.

“Whoa whoa whoa, freeze. Give me the bunny and I’ll decide who gets it.” the voice of the man I was holding onto announced. Ah yes, Doyoung. I know exactly what to do.

“But it’s my bunny rabbit Oppa! I’ve missed it so much!” I let go of him and clutch my plushie, giving my pouty face to him. The look on his face glazing over in what I can only imagine is something rated mature, he grunted to clear his throat and look at Taeyong.

“It’s her bunny rabbit Taeyong, just let her have it,” he suggested, spoken like the man of the house. I knew I could count on you Doyoung.

“Whatever, I want my bear back ASAP then,” Yongie muttered, crossing his arms. Watching this war Mark, Jaehyun, and Jungwoo couldn’t help but laugh at his pain. Doyoung gives me a confirming nod as he heads back to the kitchen.

“Well, I think it's time for me to head out, you choose the place and text me okay?” I replied, looking at my now angry older brother.

“Alright let’s ask who all is going to join us and then you can go,” he muttered, checking to see who all is in the room and pulling out his phone.

“Leaving so soon y/n?” Mark asked from the couch he was sharing with Jaehyun and Ten.

“Yeah all my stuff is at the hotel so I’m going to head over there, take a shower, and get ready for tonight,” I responded, checking to make sure I had all of my things with me before leaving.

“Wait, a hotel room? I thought you already had an apartment lined up?” Taeyong questioned, everyone now looking at me, expecting an answer.

“I did but the person backed out last second and nothing is available tonight so I’m going to stay at a hotel until then,” I reassured shyly, not making eye contact with anyone. The room is quiet.

“How about you stay here?” Jaehyun broke the silence, looking around at the other members for confirmation. My eyes immediately widened to the size of dinner plates.

“Yeah I don't want you to have to stay in some expensive hotel, don’t waste your money.” Taeyong replied, looking down to me.

“Yeah your family now!” Sicheng called from the chair by the television. I looked around seeing everyones eyes meeting mine. The expectation to give in becoming more and more present.

“I appreciate the offer really but there are so many of you and I'm sure you don't need another person crowding in on your space.” I replied, holding my bunny in front of my tummy, rubbing its ear in between my fingertips.

“No seriously, only 8 of us live in this house, the others live in either the dreamy dorms or the WayV house.” Taeil chimed in behind him.

“I can stay on the couch so you can bunk with your brother.” Doyoung offered, trying to add some comfort to the awkward situation. A small sigh escapes my lips, all the guys staring at me.

“No no it's fine really doyoung i'll sleep on the couch.” I smiled back, everyone smiling happily to the conformation.

“Nonsense, I'm a gentleman and I say you can have my bed.” he responded, putting a light hand on my shoulder.

“Who knew that doyoung was such a softie” Mark chuckled standing up beside him.

“More like, he wants to be gentle with herrrrr.” Lucas whispered to Kun. Earning a dirty look from Doyoung and Taeyong.

“Its called being a man, look it up.” Doyoung snapped at him. His hand returning back to his side, trying to gain back a cold demeanor.

I can sleep on the couch doyoung, its okay! I just want to make sure everyone is okay with it.” I said reassuringly, wrapping my hand on his shoulder feeling him tense underneath my fingers, wow doyoung...is there something bothering you? I look across the room and make eye contact with my best friend.

“You know Johnny and I don't care.” Mark chuckled, looking back to his phone.

“Doyoung and I are obviously okay with it, you're my sister.” Taeyong replied, looking at me. My hand began to recoil back to my plushie.

“She smells good so i'm fine with it.” Taeil called with a grin.

“Same here!” Jungwoo claimed, sitting up next to him and Sicheng.

“She's pretty so I'm not complaining.” Jaehyun answered slyly, the smirk on his face, evident. What also became evident that the last person to answer was Yuta, who is usually faster to answer, based on his interviews but seems rather spacious. I looked to him,

“Is it okay with you, Yuta?” I asked, looking for any sign of hesitance. He looked back with a smile that could melt a million suns. This man was going to be the death of me, I could feel my destiny change. The universe itself paused for a moment and only him and I existed.

“Of course, you can have my bed if you want.” he replied, standing up. What is with these men and offering beds?

“Oh no it's okay i'm going to sleep on the couch!” I said, putting my hands up in defense. His face did a complete 180, his face turning in confusion,

“What? No, you can't sleep on the couch you can take my bed, you could hurt your back! Did Taeyong not offer his bed?” he asked, stepping forward and looking at my brother like he was from outer space. I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

“Doyoung offered but i don't want to intrude on anyone.” I giggled, holding my plushie closer to my chest.

“I'll kick someone out of their bed, don't worry.” he winked, causing us both to laugh. His laugh is like sunshine, how? I hate this flutter I'm feeling in my chest. I just met him, how could this be happening already, if Taeyong knew he would surely kill us both. This leaves everyone else around to murmur and look at us in confusion.

“But seriously though, is it okay if i stay here for a little while?” I looked him in the eyes, again looking for some sign of him not wanting me. But to no avail, his smile grew again and lit up the room.

“I'd love it.” he answered. All the other members of the house murmuring and talking quietly waiting for a response. Yuta nodded to them to answer their unasked question.

Okay, so now that that is out of the way. Who all is going to come to dinner tonight?” Taeyong asked, pulling his phone from his back pocket, clearly trying to avoid whatever it is that is happening.

“Well we already know Johnny, Jaehyun, Haechan, and I can't go because of recording.” Ten replied, gesturing to all of them as they nodded.

“I'm helping Kun, Sicheng, and Lucas with their English.” Mark responded after.

“Im free” Taeil stated, looking at us.

“Same here.” Doyoung claimed, behind me.

“I can go.” Jungwoo said. My eyes wandered to look into Yuta’s. Is it silly of me to ask him to come? I don’t want to be weir-

“I'll come.”Yuta beamed brightly. My cheeks begin to flush, why does this man have this effect on me? I don't get it.

“Okay so that's y/n, Doyoung, Taeil, Jungwoo, Yuta, and I.” Taeyong stated, checking his phone for a good spot.

“Well then that's it I suppose, I will see you guys at dinner then.” I smiled, catching his gaze as I left.

---

“Lucas, don't you have English lessons with Mark?” Jungwoo asked the disheveled Lucas as he walked up to our table. The restaurant that Hyung picked was nice but casual so Lucas didn’t look out of place; he just seemed jittery, almost. His hand pushed his hair back as he was trying to come up with an excuse before he just gave up. Doyoung and I make eye contact, we both know why he is actually here.

“Yeah but I-I never got y/n’s number so we could hang out…” he mumbled to the group, earning a laugh from everyone except Taeyong. Hyung’s face stern as he reached for a glass of water, clearly not liking the fact that everyone was attracted to his little sister.

“You could just ask Yuta.” Taeil chuckled, grabbing his drink next to Jungwoo.

“Whatever I just wanted to come by and tell her that the rest of WayV is down to hangout sometime if she wants.” he grumbled, clearly embarrassed at the fact that he didn’t get her number in the first place.

“Hey guys!” a sweet voice chimed, walking behind Lucas was y/n. Her little, white dress was short and hugging every single inch of her body. Beautiful hair framing her face. She looked...delectable with every sense of the word

“Dear god,” Doyoung gulped under his breath. It was obvious now that I was not the only man at this table who regrets their choice in pants. I can already feel myself tenting. Fuck.

“What the fuck” Taeil murmed to Jungwoo as the dress slowly rose up her thigh. The second that happened I felt my blood begin to boil, god she was hot. I felt the sirens in my head screaming BONER ALERT BONER ALERT PLEASE LEAVE AND RELIEVE. I was in no way expecting blue balls to be on the menu. The lump in my throat began to slide down slowly as she made it to the table. Fuck; clevage. I looked to Doyoung to see him zeroing in on the same area as I was. Lucas was right, she is 100% pornstar material, is it so awful to want to break the back of a good friend’s little sister?

“Hey sis, I saved you a seat next to me.” Hyung stated, standing up and pulling the seat across from me. Well fuck me.

“Hey y/n, um we forgot to exchange numbers earlier so i couldn't tell you that the rest of WayV would love to hang out sometime.” Lucas said, catching her arm, she turned to look at him with a dreamy smile and my stomach tightened. What a smile.

“Oh really that's great! I- wait is.. Is Xiaojun going to be there?” she asked, quizzingly. Xiaojun? Does she like Xiaojun? Why do I care so much? I just met her.

“Um yeah?” he responded, just as confused as I am. She quickly took out her phone and pulled up her contact with him.

“Here’s my number.”

“Oooooo does y/n have a crush on Xiaojun?” Jungwoo teased as Lucas put down the number in his phone.

“I thought I was your favorite member?” Taeyong questioned, clearly offended by his sister’s actions.

“As great as Xiaojun is, he is not my bias or crush by any means,that one is already taken.” she replied, putting her phone back in her pocket and sitting across from me.

“Well I'm glad you finally decided to tell everyone princess,” Lucas chuckled and winked.

“As handsome and charming as you are Lucas, it's not you either bUT YOU WERE SO CLOSE IM SORRY.” she exclaimed as Lucas was really hurt. I mean I would too if an extremely hot girl gave me her number and said ‘your not my first option, or any option really’.

“Well I know her favorite is me, because i’m her brother, but crush ew no way.” he stated in disgust, crossing his arms.

“You're right on that.” she laughed.

“Wait…” Doyoung mumbled, everyone beginning to finally catch up to what she had just confirmed to the group.

“So that means you do like A MEMBER OF NCT!” Jungwoo exclaimed, everyone grinning in curiosity, on the edge of their seats just like me.

“Tell me!” Taeyong commanded.

“Who is it?” Taeil asked.

*“DON’T SAY MARK!” JOHNNY CRIES IN THE DISTANCE*

“So what can I get you all tonight?” the kind waitress asked as she finally reached the table.

“Two bottles of soju, what will everyone else be drinking?” y/n asked with a chuckle, earning the laugh of the rest of the table.

---

As a series of bottles and delicious plates of food made their rounds through the table, so did the conversations. Everyone was laughing so hard, Jungwoo actually had water come out of his nose. She was definitely a little spitfire.

“So you really ran through the fountain naked and drunk at 2 in the morning and got caught by campus police?” Lucas laughed out loud and in disbelief. She swallowed her drink and nodded.

“Yes but one of them was my friend’s brother so he gave me his jacket and took me back to my dorm.” she chuckled, taking another bite.

“Okay, so when a hot girl does it it's okay but when I take my shirt off at the market everyone gets pissed?” Lucas looks around at the rest of the table, once again in disbelief. This quickly earned him a bread bun tossed at him by Taeyong himself.

“Hey that's my sister!” he shouted, everyone laughing at the argument, including y/n.

“But that's when I used to party and stuff, I actually haven't been to the club in a few months, any good places around here?” she asked, scanning the guys for any good suggestions.

“You are not going to a club.” Taeyong replied.

“Obviously not tonight.” she smirked.

“Hey I know a place a couple blocks from here that's really cool. But if you’re talking clubs, the right person to ask is Ten.” Taeil replied, grabbing another dumpling.

“We should go sometime! Man, Yongie your friends are so cool, how could you keep them from me?” she asked, giving him a small elbow to the ribs.

“Because you always take my friends from me.” he grumbled. Which is absolutely clear why. She giggled again. God her laugh is so contagious, its impossible not to smile when she giggles even. I grabbed my cup when I felt something against my sneaker. I gently nudged it back when it nudged back. I looked up to see my opponent of footsie when a beautiful pair of eyes poured into mine. I nudged her back and she did it again, making her crack into a smile, which inevitably seeped into mine.

“Are you okay you’ve been kind of quiet?” she asked me kindly, usingher chopsticks to push around the chicken on her plate.

“Yeah, I'm just not as fast as you guys are, today.” I confessed, what a lie. Its because youre nervous for the first time in forever and it fucking shows.

“How about we talk then?” she suggested, picking at her plate.

“What do you mean?” I asked looking at her. Little did I know that it suddenly felt as if the entire world ceased to exist at this point. It felt like it was just her and I.

“Tell me about yourself, Yuta.” she elaborated with a voice as sweet as honey. The lump now finds a home in my throat. Why is it so hard to talk to her, I never get nervous like this.

“Oh um, I’m a Scorpio?” I muttered, grabbing my soju and taking a swig.

“Ooooo a mysterious guy. That definitely matches the aura.” she chuckled. God, how can she make me nervous but confident so fast.

“I guess so, I've been told I have a mysterious side.” I explained, looking back at her.

“You really do, it’s the eyes, hands down.” she claimed, grabbing for her water.

“Really I was joking at first but hey i'll take it.” I chuckled.

“Definitely, you have these deep eyes that make you look menacing. It's almost like you could read someone's deepest desires or you could attack them. But you have such a handsome face, it just goes together so well. I’m rambling, sorry!” she confessed, nervously nudging her feet against mine.

“Hey, i like it. Do i make you feel that way?” I looked at her deeply, her shy demeanor cracking to show her inner self.

“Oh yeah. But I think i'm more concerned about how I make you feel, Yuta.” she claimed, nudging her foot against mine again, resting her head on her propped up arm.

“Well-

“Hey what are you guys talking abou-” Taeyong interrupted.

“Shut up, Yuta is talking” she slapped his arm before turning her full attention back to me, which made me laugh.

“Well for starters, you are absolutely gorgeous so that's a given. But I feel there's so much more to you than you are letting show.” I replied, giving her my full attention again. I could slowly see her once shy facade turn into something much more flirty. Her eyes glazing over just like mine, a tension starting to fill the air.

“I’ve been caught huh?” she whispered, her eyes glazing over.

“Like you said I like to see what's underneath it all.” I answered with a grin.

“Well looking like that it can't be that hard to get underneath it all.” she looked up coyly.

“Hey guys, we were thinking about heading back to the dorms, we have a stream and we were going to watch a movie. You guys ready?” Taeyong asked us both. I looked up to her as she smiled at her brother and nodded. And man, I could never agree more.

#Yuta #yuta nakamoto #nct yuta #nct fluff #nct smut #nct imagines #yuta fluff #yuta smut #nct yuta fluff #nct yuta smut #foreign au #slowburn #kpop fluff #kpop smut

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himbowelsh · 4 years

Text

prompt: Could you do number 9 (cuddling) for the intimacy prompts with team leckie? I love them as an ot4 and i think i have already seen everything there is for them so far haha. I love the way you write them in the valentines day prompts :’) ( INTIMACY PROMPTS : ACCEPTING )

team leckie ot4 ( platonic and / or romantic )

2000+ words

“the silence of lonely things”

Runner’s got a fever again. It drifts in and out, coming and going like a fickle breeze, leaving him shivering, his thin shirt and boxers completely soaked through. He drifts on a half-remembered haze, stolidly insisting he’s fine anytime one of them asks. That doesn’t mean he protests whenever Hoosier brings a new blanket over to switch out with the current candidate, or Chuckler sweeps a cool cloth over his brow. Runner may be pathetic when ill, but he’s not ungrateful.

“Trust you to pick up whatever’s going around this week,” Leckie chirps. Sprawled sideways in the cushy leather chair, he sounds way too cheerful.

“Not that bad, I told you,” Runner grumbles. “I’ll be up by tomorrow. Probably dancing.”

That much is true. Illnesses love Runner, but they burn through him fast. In a day or two, he’ll be fine; this day, however, is an excuse to laze around the house, watching movies and claiming “sick day” rights.

“God help you when we have the next plague,” Hoosier declares. “Won’t catch me near your infectious ass.”

Hoosier is also sitting in the leather chair. Since it holds the acknowledged position of “most comfortable chair in the house”, everybody wanted it... but Chuckler has more important tasks at hand, so Leckie and Hoosier compromised. Hoosier’s under him, his legs hanging straight out. Leckie’s on top, curled up just so, his legs pulled in and butt bearing down on one side of Hoosier’s hips. It can’t be the most comfortable position, but neither of them are complaining. In fact, Hoosier looks very content to be smushed. With an arm around Leckie’s waist, he urges him back to lean against his chest. Leckie obliges, head falling against Hoosier’s shoulder.

“The two of you are making me sick,” Runner declares.

“Don’t blame us,” shoots back Leckie, smirking. “You’re the one who ate a bunch of French fries off the sidewalk.”

Chuckler dared him to, and they all know Leckie was too coward to eat them himself. “If you hadn’t pushed me, and they hadn’t spilled —“

“I caught a bunch of them,” Chuckler throws in cheerfully as he returns from the kitchen. He’s got a pack of Oreos and a bottle of Sprite balanced under one arm. In his free hand, he carries a fresh water bottle, which he passes to Runner. The coolness is like Heaven; Runner can’t help moaning.

“Now that’s what I like to hear.”

“Fuck’s sake, Hoosier.” Leckie shifts his hips pointedly, too close to Hoosier’s groin to be ignored. Hoosier shuts up.

It’s not like Runner’s got much energy left in his body anyway, but the chill of the water seems to sap the rest of it away. Rather than taking an actual sip, he balances the bottle in the crook of his neck, going boneless against the couch. A sigh escapes him as he curls into it. He doesn’t actually feel sick, just overheated and restless, like it’s the middle of July and he’s been laying inside without air conditioning for hours. Lethargy weighs him down. Still, he can’t help craving — something. Hell, he doesn’t know, but laying here alone just doesn’t feel good, even if he’s not sure what actually will.

“Stop squirming,” Chuckler counsels. He takes a moment to make sure he won’t be sitting on Runner’s head before flopping down on the couch beside him. Runner can’t say what propels him forward, but the next thing he knows, his head is in Chuckler’s lap, and he’s nudging insistently into his stomach.

That’s not like him. He doesn’t usually seek out physical contact unless it’s offered to him first. He must knock the wind out of Chuckler, too, because he gives a small grunt of surprise, looking down at his lap. Still, Runner is persistent. After a moment; his best friend gives in. Chuckler sighs, and a large hand falls on top of Runner’s head, combing gently through his sweaty hair.

“You’re still warm.” The words rumble against Runner’s ear. He huffs.

“Yeah. I can feel it.”

“Do you want to take another Tylenol? Or, here, have some more water —“

“Lew.”

Before Runner can even start to protest, a softer voice cuts in. Chuckler’s given name is only used between the four of them, tossed around just to make a point. Hoosier might wear his typical mask of disinterest, but he’s still looking at them intently. When he leans forward, a strand of golden hair falls across his forehead; Runner has the possibly-delirious urge to brush it back.

“Doubt more pills are what he needs right now,” Hoosier continues, his voice low and utterly free of judgement. “Just leave him be.”

That’s closer to what Runner wants than Chuckler’s mother-henning, but still lands a few yards to the left. “Don’t you dare,” he huffs, nestling further into Chuckler’s lap. “Last thing I want is to be alone right now. Even if you assholes are my only company.”

A chuckle reverberates from Leckie and Hoosier’s side of the room. The leather seat freaks as someone shifts atop it, and now Leckie’s studying Runner too. He never just looks, the bastard. Leckie always studies, and sometimes he smirks, like he’s seeing something really interesting. It drives Runner wild, but he’s never got the heart to tell him to cut it out.

“Don’t leave him alone, then.” Leckie draws the words out low and smooth like he’s dragging them across Runner’s skin just to tease him. “If we did that, he might just shrivel up and die from the lack of attention.” Look who’s talking, Runner wants to say, but in the next moment Leckie’s sprung off the chair and crossed over to the couch.

“He needs to be looked after,” he declares, pressing a palm to Runner’s overheated forehead. God help him, Runner moans.

Okay — for the sake of his dignity, it’s not really a moan. A hum, really. A very satisfied hum. It’s also all Leckie needs to hear. The next second, he’s wiggling himself into the very limited space on the couch, squeezing into the precarious gap between Runner’s body and the sofa cushions. This gives him the perfect window to wrap an arm around Runner’s chest, pulling him back. Runner didn’t realize how much he was craving the touch until he has it. Some instinct from when he was a kid — the same one which always left him clinging to his mother’s side whenever he felt under the weather, resting his head on her chest while she rocked him until he fell asleep — must still be in there. He feels it stir back to life. Even if every instinct in his body’s screaming not to give in, because he’s got pride, damn it, and no way Leckie will forget this in a million years… but Runner’s also human. Leckie’s touch is soft, and his chest is like a muscle-bound pillow. Runner doesn't have the motivation to resist. After a moment, he melts back into the embrace. Leckie huffs a laugh, massaging along Runner’s arm. It feels so good that Runner’s eyes flutter shut. He doesn’t even realize he’s smiling until Chuckler’s thumb brushes his bottom lip, as if to admire the expression.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be?” Hoosier just sounds offended to be left out. After a moment, where no one bothers to toss him a reply, he huffs and hauls his own ass out of the chair. Runner doesn’t pay attention to where he goes. He’s too focused on Leckie’s soothing massage, and Chuckler’s fingers still running along his scalp. When, after a few moments, someone nudges him, he only hums in displeasure.

“Up and at ‘em. I got something better for you.”

“Come on, Bud,” Chuckler urges, his voice low in Runner’s ear. Leckie’s already making his escape. When Runner pries his eyes open, he’s confronted with a mess in the middle of the living room — all the pillows he’s got in the house, plus the blankets from his own bed, and the spare comforter in the closet. In the middle of the chaos sits Hoosier. He’s organized the nest into something resembling comfort. As he flops back onto a small mountain of pillows, he heaves a sigh.

“Incoming,” Leckie announces, before nearly divebombing him.

Runner appraises the situation as their two friends wrestle in a canopy of cushions. He turns over in Chuckler’s lap, humming. “I dunno. Looks kinda hazardous to me. Should we risk it?”

“Stop your hemming and get down here,” Hoosier demands. After all the effort he went to, Runner supposes, it’d be a shame to let it go to waste.

He moves first, shifting off Chuckler’s lap into a sitting position. Chuckler, set free, immediately slides to the floor in a jumble of over-sized limbs. One corner of the pillow nest is clearly more comfortable than the others, so Runner Berliner’s for that. The effort of moving is worth it as he settles down into blissful softness; the comforter billows out like it wants to swallow him up, and he sinks into it, perfectly willing to let it.

Around him, he can feel his friends shifting. Chuckler slides in behind him, tucking Runner in against his side, and Runner unconsciously curls into him. Leckie’s on Chuckler’s other side, in a tangle of limbs with Hoosier. He mutters something that Runner doesn’t catch. He hears Chuckler’s answer, though: a deep chuckle, followed by, “Get in here, Lucky.” After a minute, Leckie must concede, because Runner feels Chuckler pull him close to, and there’s a soft, “oh,” as Leckie melts into the embrace.

“Y’all are gross,” Hoosier declares, somehow snaking his way to the top of the pile. He’s heavy, and bony in places bones just shouldn’t be, but he’s also warm — basically a weighted blanket. Runner minds less than he should.

“You’re the one who’s friends with us,” says Leckie.

“For that, I got no one to blame but myself.”

“We liven up your life,” Runner murmurs into Chuckler’s chest.

“This is the first sign of life you’ve shown all day.”

“Guys, come on,” Chuckler sighs. “Look, there’s a good movie on. Let’s just watch the movie.”

“I can’t stand this movie.”

“He’s right,” agrees Leckie. “You’ve got atrocious taste in films.”

“I’ve also got the remote. You wanna take it from me?”

“You say that like I couldn’t.”

Runner huffs. “I’d like to see you try, but you’ll just embarrass yourself.”

“Oh really —“

“Jesus Christ, shut up already,” groaned Hoosier, who’s disdain for the movie they’re watching has already been declared. “Let’s just watch the damn thing.”

They all settle in; after a few minutes, nothing fills the room but the sound of their breathing, their limbs shuffling in the blankets, and an explosive action scene echoing from the TV screen. Outside, rain pours down in sheets, drumming softly against the window; the sky continues to get darker and darker, going from a slate grey to a cool, deep blue.

It’s crowded, and quiet, and a little bit perfect. When Runner closes his eyes, the rhythm of his friends’ breath washes over him. He can hear Chuckler’s heartbeat against his ear, feel Hoosier’s legs twining with his, as Leckie’s hand idly massages his shoulder. Nothing happening on the screen concerns him. He’s only interested in this moment, this feeling, the overwhelming sensation of not being alone.

Damn it, he’s happier than he should be.

As if reading his thoughts, Chuckler shifts slightly, leaning close enough to murmur in Runner’s ear. “You okay, Bud?”

Runner hums, pressing his face into his friend’s chest. “Just tired.”

He doesn’t have to see Chuckler smiling to know he is, or feel the kiss he presses into the crown of his head to know it’s there. “Alright, buddy. Get some rest.”

He’s almost afraid to, afraid they won’t be here when he wakes up — and waking up alone would be the worst thing in the world…

But the presence of his three friends lulls the worries from his mind. Runner drifts off with warmth flowing through his entire body, three bodies wrapped around his own, and a tiny smile on his lips. It’s everything he didn’t know he needed.

#the pacific #team leckie #hbo war #robert leckie #runner conley #hoosier smith #chuckler juergens #my writing #im so glad you like how i write them darling!! they're super fun to play with

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boymeetsweevil · 5 years

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Okay sorry but

Office life x Accidental marriage AU

BKGD:

OC who does bar trivia on some weeknights and weekends. It’s pretty hardcore and a good majority of the office does it. Lots of young knowledgable ppl using their niche/nerd interest facts to win some prizes.

Enter: Jin who is the office’s wet blanket but also carries the trivia team when it comes to real life knowledge (AKA anything that can be taught as an AP class in a high school). it’s actually pretty serious and one day you win a competition at the end of the year with a trip to Las Vegas as the grand prize

So Office!Jin is like weirdly stoic and shows like 0.001 emotions and when he does it’s him laughing at like...microsoft office memes or some shit. very dry eXTREMELY dry. Almost dwight schrute personality but for cooking and not farming, and less entertaining. Also scary beautiful, quiet, very much keeps to himself in a snooty way. Only comes to trivia, never goes on regular bar runs. Sits in the cubicle on the other side of the office so u don’t see him much.

FUNFATX: you did do a project with him that was like kind of involved for two weeks once and he commended you on your work ethic once it was done. After those two weeks you learned to speak Jin so that was basically him telling you that he thought u were cool

MAIN STORY:

No one expected him to say yes to going on the trip. But he does, which is weird. and it’s so surreal seeing him outside of his beige three piece suit and instead in the most generic grey sweat shirt and pants set ever. Everyone is trying to sneak glances at him on the plane to LV and he’s just wrapped up in a blanket alone in the back sleeping like a mummy[ u know like body completely straight and hands crossed at his front like a corpse]. he sat away from everyone because he knew they’d interrupt his sleep schedule which he carefully crafted to avoid any form of jet lag

Somehow, one of the more boisterous guys from the office gets a first drink in Jin (he never drank at the bar trivia because he wanted to be focused™️) Lol. it turns out that he’s actually kind of funny but like definitely still not on purpose he just turns into this whiny pink giant. everyone teases him and he’s only like 12.5% more talkative but it’s still incredible to hear him talk/complain this much at all

More drinks, some gambling, more drinks. You end up thinking Jin is actually kind of fun even tho he just went from prissy stoic to whiny awkward drunk and you drag him places to watch him squirm.

Cut to wake up scene.

Classiccliche omg-who-is-this-person-in-my-bed-that-I-didn’t-expect-to-be-there. It’s JIn-- who is knocked tf out and snoring but luckily ur clothes are all on and nothing hurts but....THERES A RING ON UR FINGER. And u scream and it wakes him up and lo and behold, there’s a ring on his finger too. The issue is that the chapel is closed and ur supposed to be flying back to school the next day so u can’t get it annulled but you figure u can always contact and do it remotely??? but lol u can’t and you wont have time/money to go back for at least two months.

u should have noted something was off when he sat next to you on the plane ride back. he sleeps like a mummy again and snaps at everyone so no one else sits next to you. ppl are trying to mime at your matching rings but ur too weirded out by the situation to say anything.

The odd thing is, u go back, Married to Jin and he’s like...unfazed. Completely fine with it. Like he’s chilling. You catch him eating chowder (in summer no less) in the break room and try to bring up an annulment but he just brushes u off and asks if you like soup and ur like uhhh yeah i like tomato soups i guess????

And then it starts. The husbanding

Jin starts bringing in soups that he made for you. Tomato soups. And he starts offering to drive you home after work in his boring little mid 2000′s sedan and at first ur clueless and ur like carpool is good ill go get some of the others and he’s flat out like “im only doing this because ur my wife and i dont want u taking the bus” and u think he’s joking so you laugh but you also get in anyway. And then u do the same thing the next day. And when your favorite blouse gets a hole in it, he loans you his suit jacket for the day and takes your blouse and sews up the hole and strengthens the button loops all during his lunch break.

suddenly he’s asking what other things you like to eat besides tomato soup and then he’s asking you to come with him to the grocery store this weekend so he knows what brands of stuff you like and ur like??? okay???? but why? because ur DUmb.

And someone else in the office literally has to sit down and explain it to you because one day you’re not going dancing with the girls because: last week u rec’d a movie for Jin to watch and immediately he went “okay lets watch it at my house next friday” and when one of the other married ppl in the office ‘defends you’ by mentioning how date nights being important at the beginning of the marriage youre like Haha funny joke and she’s like girl...

you go to Jin’s place but ur confused the whole time like is this thing real???? u figured that jin and u were on the same page and that u were just gonna live ur lives like nothing changed until you could go back to LasVegas to cancel the marriage but then ur at his house and he’s cooked you some of your favorites again and he’s got some extra socks because u said ur feet get cold he actually puts them ON YOUR FEET FOR YOU and he’s telling you that his dad is coming to town and wants to meet u and ur like....oh shit im married

#draft

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years

Text

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Green crosses are finished prompts, lime green crosses the one completed in this fic, and colored lambda-ish signs are prompts I’ve gotten requests for already).

I'm fresh out writing a novel-thick Arc-V fanfic and man I've been in such a great fandom mood! I thought my first entry for my 2nd BTHB would be for Pokemon or Trauma Center as those are the video games I've played recently (I'm beating Platinum as I'm writing this for the first time and I played some Second Opinion at midnight because I had no parents and an empty house for a while), but no, as always, I'm unpredictable haha It does help that I've been a great fan of Orion, especially compared to the original series' third season who's always been my sore spot, but I now realize that Tachimukai walked so Nishikage could fly. (which means my cinnamon roll son needs justice, and if I have to make that myself, I will use my craftmanship to do so)

yeah I also didn't expect to write a Nishikage-centric fic but who ever knows with me, I don't even know myself that much. You know the drill, though: first time writing the character, so expect it to be at least a bit OOC until I either delve too deep and don't care or somehow catch myself before I fall. This is so "wow characters sure exist" central. In terms of the timeline, I'd say this story is set after the Asia preliminaries and most likely after the match against Perfect Spark. It's not supposed to be *that* accurate because it's a tiny oneshot, but y'know, gotta try and place your fanfic on what already exists sometimes.

Honestly, it's kind of lame, but I still like most of it?

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Stay Still, Look Strong

Summary: He’s never been the kind to complain.

Fandom: Inazuma Eleven (Orion no Kokuin timeline, contains spoilers) Relationship: Platonic Nishikage & Nosaka (can be read as pre-slash if you want)

Wordcount: 1.8K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

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He’s never been the kind to complain.

How could he? Anyone bathing so intensely in the light of Nosaka Yuuma has no right to complain: he’s lucky as it is to be his right-hand, to be involved in his plans, to have witnessed how much of a hero Nosaka is. He’ll never forget their first meeting, the evening where he saw a boy his age save a little child from a housefire he’d have never jumped in himself, mesmerized and terrified at the same time of the flames and for the boy who wasn’t scared of them.

Truly, how could he complain, when everyone around him has always been this luminous, even when put through the worse?

It’s not like the current context is going to help either. The world championship is as harsh as he expected it to be, if not worse: Orion disciples are out for the team’s throats, there’s a bunch of business he’s only partially aware of (but he doesn’t mind that Nosaka would rather discuss it with other people, Hiura is a much better strategist than he could ever be) floating over their heads like a threatening nebula, the team can be agitated by personal conflict and incompatible relationships. So, in this context, how could he complain? He’s not the one who’s had suffered from a split identity, from nourishing disappointed hopes to one day reunite with his long-lost parent, from insecurities, from injuries. He’s been fine, he’d always be fine.

Well, scratch that last statement, he supposes.

There are a number of things that quietly tell him that he’s not doing so good as soon as he wakes up. Just the fact that he’s had troubles getting out of bed says a lot about that, but he chooses to ignore it and brush it off as yesterday’s training having dragged on and on to perfect techniques and tactics. His teammates seem vastly unaffected by the fatigue plaguing him, so he assumes it’s just a bad day and also brushes aside the lethargy sticking to his bones.

But the thing is that, when he’d have taken it easy otherwise (but would have still trained: they have no time to lose and too much to do), he’s made the promise to Nosaka to help him with a plan, whether it be an investigation or to help with his genius brainstorming. He can’t go back on this promise because “he feels weird”. That’s just not something he can do because that’d be doing Nosaka disservice, and he doesn’t want to ever do that. That’s just dirty.

It starts softly enough. They’re doing a bit of physical training to gain endurance, strength and speed. He doesn’t let his shortness of breath spill through his well-adjusted façade, or so he thinks at least, because he’s sure at least Nosaka or Ichihoshi has noticed. Nobody says anything, though, so he’s content staying silent and continue on. It helps him hide the scratch in his throat and how weird his voice sounded when he said hello to everyone in the cafeteria this morning.

He’s sure someone has to have also noticed his change of habits, especially when he’s surrounded by geniuses with sharp eyes. Still, just like him, nobody says anything; and it’s better that way, he supposes. It helps him in his mission not to bother anyone about minor issues, at least.

“Minor issues” is a term he regrets having used to describe to his current predicament during the afternoon. If the morning was already somewhat tough to follow, mostly because his teammates are quick and will never slow down as long as the wind of hope blows through their sails, and whomever doesn’t follow with this wind is bound to crash and burn. That’s just how the FFI is, nothing to complain about when everyone participating in it is in similar conditions, tied to pressure from the countries they represent and the teams they play against.

He knows nobody has tricked him into drinking something weird, as it wouldn’t make sense for a teammate to poison him when their only mole, Ichihoshi, has long absolved for his former crimes against them; but he’d have liked to have had an alternative to knowing it may have been a bad idea for him to even get out of his room to begin with. Who’s he kidding, though? It’s never been about him, it’s always been about the team and about helping Nosaka as best as he can, no complaint to be had when he chose this life for himself. No complaint… to be had. Absolutely.

He feels stiff and more than lethargic by this point of the day. The afternoon sun of Russia, shining in the artic summer sky, thumps again his head and he gets dizzier by the step, following diligently after his best friend he’s sworn to serve and help no matter what because Nosaka deserves to shine while he stays in the shadow, pulling some strings on demand. He doesn’t believe himself as someone who should be in the spotlight, not when he’s always been around people who deserve attention more than he does to show their talent and sparkles. He’s destinated to help, that’s it, and there’s nothing else he needs or even should add against or for it.

Still, that doesn’t help him hide everything in anymore. His head is pounding for whatever reason, heat and icy coldness alternate with each other every minute or so (he’s not counted, to be fair), walking takes an amount of effort it should have never siphoned away from his energy. He’s running low on batteries, but he tries his best not to show he has black dots appearing all over his sight as not to bother his friend, not to hinder his plans to bust more of Orion’s shady parts, not to make him think he may not have listened even for a millisecond to his ideas. He’s never sure what to reply back, but he tries his best, because it’s the least he can do. Well, he can usually do, as it’s getting difficult. Retaining a cough in is taking more and more of his focus and he hates that, he should be putting that focus towards more useful things rather than just being efficient on a basic level.

He’s swaying on his feet when Nosaka stops in his tracks. He doesn’t really know in which direction they’re heading anymore, he’s not paid enough attention (staying up takes too much effort), and he almost crashes into him. He starts an apology as quickly as possible, which means when the black dots start vanishing from his sight and when the world stops spinning, but he gets interrupted.

“Let’s go back home, Nishikage,” he tells him with a smirk. “I’m sure the others are waiting for us”.

He doesn’t reply verbally, just nods and follows through, trachea set on fire and moves sluggish. But he cannot complain, he’s gone through with it willingly. He can just pick up after himself, words from his dry throat won’t change much of anything.

They enter their training centre and, right as he can finally theorize on a destination, Nosaka turns around and leads them in the part of the building where they all sleep (its name is escaping his mind, right now), where nobody is around and where his footsteps echo against the pounding of his temples. His breathing is feeble, his skin is clammy against his layers, the chills aren’t subsiding. This is bad, very bad, and he’s not sure if the façade is going to last for long.

Which is why he’s not surprised when he watches Nosaka put his back against the wall near their rooms, arms crossed, and the smirk not leaving. At least, he thinks it’s a smirk? It’s hard to tell.

“That’s an impressive effort you’ve made there, Nishikage,” Nosaka eventually tells him.

“What do you mean…?” His voice is much lower than usual, that’s a giveaway already.

“You know, for someone who wasn’t happy that I hadn’t told him about my illness, you sure didn’t want me to know about yours.”

Ah, he’s busted. He’s always been, to be honest. It still somewhat hurts, though, so he looks aside.

“Don’t make such a face, it’s not a big deal. Just get some rest, next time, instead of pretending like everything’s alright, okay? We wouldn’t want you collapsing on us now, would we?”

Nosaka laughs it off, so he tries to do so too, but he ends up coughing instead.

“I think you’ve gotten the lesson, so,” he gently pushes him towards his room, “you do what you’ve got to do. I only want to see you out for dinner!”

His feet are heavy and his balance still hasn’t come back, but he still has questions burning the tip of his tongue.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t able to…”

“To do what?”

“…help you in what you wanted us to do.”

“I’d rather have you rest when sick than letting you get that worse for a brainstorming session”, Nosaka’s grin and tone drop at the same time. “I appreciate the concern, but this is going a bit too far.”

“…”

The smile comes back.

“Don’t worry about it, just go rest for a bit. You’ve deserved that. It’s not like you’ll be able to stay on your feet for very long, am I wrong?”

He’s not. He knows that. There’s no way to go against him.

Even so, he still hesitates opening the door in front of Nosaka. It’s most likely stupid, but his consciousness is dimming down and he should just get on with it… He shouldn’t be making a fuss about it, so he quickly opens it anyway and disappears without a word.

Maybe, sometimes, he should speak up, because he was about to cause more trouble than anything. That, in itself, is dirtier than what he was trying to prevent. Talk about a mission failed.

Still, he falls onto the bed in the room, barely bothering taking off his shoes, and hopes he can do something better tomorrow. Today was harsh on him for sure; so there may be room to complain here, even if it’s just to himself because being in this kind of state has never been fun for anyone who’s ever breathed.

That’s when he notices, right before finally passing out, the box and glass put on his bedside table. There’s some amusement to be found to having been found out by more than one person, he realizes. Teammates care out for each other, he should have remembered that; and they’re supposed to trust one another, so next time, he should try being honest about this.

#bad things happen bingo #inazuma eleven #inazuma eleven orion no kokuin #nishikage seiya #nosaka yuuma #hurt comfort #sickfic #brotp: outei no tate #bthb 2 #this one is soft because it's a warm-up #but like i love inazuma why don't i write about it more #the hell is wrong with me

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the-sanders-sides · 5 years

Text

Stereotypical High School Movie AU

Previous || Chapter 21 || ao3

in case links aren’t working: previous - https://the-sanders-sides.tumblr.com/post/182230055491/stereotypical-high-school-movie-au and ao3 - https://archiveofourown.org/works/10574736/chapters/41405801

summary: Virgil was the emo kid with a history with the school’s most popular clique. Logan was, for lack of a better word, a nerd, and Virgil’s best friend. Roman, however, remains a mystery within his allegiances: friend or foe, bully or genuine? And Patton’s their loving teacher, providing each one of his kids with the advice they need to face the biggest challenge of their life so far: high school. (endgame prinxiety)

chapter warnings/possible triggers: threats, anxiety attacks, bad relationship with parents

Ah, another weekend. The sun was shining on a beautiful Florida park, and sat there on the swing set at two in the afternoon was none other than the sides: Logan, Virgil, and Roman.

“Anx, how are you not overheating right now?” Logan remarked, leaning against the pole of the swing set, while Virgil and Roman took up the two swings.

“Nah, I'm used to the heat. My sweater is like my second skin now,” Virgil joked, swinging slowly.

“Oh my gosh! Both of you phrased that so, terribly wrong that it's impossible to make a jokingly flirty comment!” Roman exclaimed as he swung high enough to be almost at a right a angle with the swing set. Virgil shook his head.

“What, you wanted me to say ‘it’s hot’ so you could say ‘that’s ‘cause I'm here’?” Virgil snarled.

“As a matter of fact, that's not what I was going to say,” Roman replied and stuck out his tongue at Virgil. Logan rolled his eyes.

“Then what were you going to say?” Logan prompted.

“Well, Anx could've replied to your question by saying ‘I’m not hot’ and I would've said ‘See, that's why we're perfect together! You're chill and I'm flamin’,” Roman said and jumped off the swing landing softly on the ground. He turned around to loom at Virgil. “Wait, ‘Anx’ is okay, right?”

“Yes, Princey,” Virgil responded. Roman smiled.

“Perfect, we're the three musketeers! Princey, Anxiety, and Logic!” Roman cheered. Logan cocked an eyebrow.

“Logic?” Logan questioned.

“Oh, yeah! I call you that in my head, since you're super smart. I think it's a fitting nickname… Um, do you like it?” Roman asked apprehensively. Logan gave a curt nod.

“It’s very apt,” Logan declared. Roman laughed. Roman’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

Charlotte >> Roman

Ro, can we talk?

Charlotte >> Roman

I don't know who to believe

Roman >> Charlotte

Please trust me, Char.

Roman then typed out ‘They're no good. It took me a while to break out of their manipulation and mind games’ but ended up deleting that.

Roman >> Charlotte

Just hear me out. I'm at the park rn if you want to talk?

Charlotte >> Roman

Yeah, I'll be there

“Hey, um, heads up, I just invited Charlotte here so we can talk… about, well you know…,” Roman said as he looked up from his phone.

“Yeah, yeah, I know…,” Virgil responded, slowing down his swinging. “I don’t think I want to stick around for that though. I’m gonna take a walk.”

“Alright, have fun,” Roman responded, slightly disheartened that Virgil wasn’t staying as he waved the other boy off. Logan looked between his two friends trying to decide who to stay with. Virgil rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, Lo, you look like a lost puppy. Fine, I’ll stay!” Virgil complained. A slight blush spread on Logan’s cheeks.

“I am not a lost puppy! I just said that so you’d stay!” Logan said in that matter-of-factly way that made it very obvious he was lying and that although the outcome was desirable, it was definitely not intentional. Virgil oh so eloquently responded to Logan’s petulance by sticking out his tongue at Logic. Roman chortled and ended up snorting from laughter which in turn made the other two boys laugh, so that when Charlotte arrive, she was left upon a group of laughing teenagers who for the life of them, could not stop. At first, she was distressed, as the only thing on her mind was finding out the truth about the people in her life, but at the sight she cracked a small smile that grew, and ultimately, she joined in on the laughter too. Whenever the four were close to recovering, Roman just ended up snorting again and the other three would roar with laughter, thereupon Roman would laugh again as well.

It was pure serenity. It was pure happiness. It was pure trust.

“Y-You know, haha, I’ve never felt, hehe, like this with, haha, Wynne before. I think I believe you, Ro,” Charlotte gasped, struggling to speak through the laughs. Her statement lead the other three to calm down with an occasional hiccup of laughter echoing from one of them. “Also, I am going to destroy Wynne for outing you, Virgil,” Charlotte blushed, “Also, uh, sorry about that fling we had. If I had known you didn’t want it, I wouldn’t have...”

“N-No, I consented! But don’t kill Wynne. I-It’s not worth it. You’ll get in trouble,” Virgil pleaded.

“Like you guys won’t?” Charlotte argued.

“Charlotte, if I may, wouldn’t it be more productive to amend for the things that you did, that may not have necessarily been good things, rather than get revenge? I’ve learned that it’s no good to punish people in retribution. You’ll just end up being as bad as they are, right?” Logan proffered.

“Yeah… I guess you’re right. I think- I think I’m gonna go talk to Rashmi. And all my other exes. And the people who I cheated in school from. But mostly Rashmi. I miss her a lot and it’s been so long and you were there when we broke up, right Virgil? I was trying so hard to be better, but I couldn’t, and then I ruined it and I tried to make out with you, and ugh! I messed up, like, big time.” Roman smiled.

“Well then, now’s your time to be better like you wanted to. I- Good luck, Charlotte. If you ever need someone who gets what it’s like to be manipulated by someone like Wynne, I’m here,” Roman said.

“I’d be happy to be your friend,” Charlotte responded as she smiled and walked off.

That night, Logan and Virgil layed on the grass in Logan’s backwards staring at the stars hidden in light pollution. The bugs were hidden away and asleep, so it was just the two of them and the half moon. Virgil sighed.

“So, my dad’s back in town tomorrow. His business trip and whatnot bein’ over. I think, maybe I should tell him about that fight with Nurul, but I don’t wanna make him worry anymore,” Virgil wiped away the tears that began to well up, “But then it’s just- Our relationship is already so strained, and then being all like ‘Hey dad! The kids at school still hate me!’ may be a bit too much. But I just, I don’t know..,” Virgil quietly rambled. Logan hummed.

“Talking will help. Maybe not even about that, but just clear the air. Tell him that you care about him. I dunno, I’m not the one to ask about this. I have been deemed Logic and not Feelings, after all,” Logan joked.

“Mr. Feelings, what am I to do?” Virgil asked with an air of extravagance as he climbed on top of Logan acting like a damsel in distress. Logan laughed.

“I don’t know, Anxiety, perhaps your solution lies away from me! For I am not the good Mr. Feelings! I am the evil Mr. Logic, and I’ve got you under my spell!” Logan shouted as he rolled the two over so Logan was on the top now as he pinned Virgil down.

“Oh no! Whatever shall I do? There is no Princey here to save me!” Virgil announced as he mock fainted. Logan smiled and shook his head as he climbed off of Virgil. Logan’s phone fell out of his pocket and when he picked it up he saw a notification from the screen mirroring app that Wynne’s phone was currently in use. He unlocked his phone and looked at the texts Wynne was currently sending. They were to Nurul, and they were quite concerning.

Wynne >> Nurul

just stay out of my way, okay! ill take care of it.

Nurul >> Wynne

At least tell me how you’re going to get revenge.

Wynne >> Nurul

if we hurt virgil, we hurt logan more than if we got him directly. the dweeb cares too much.

Look. im gonna call virgils dad as the school and be all like ‘hey virgils dad your son started a fight and beat up an innocent kid, thought you should know!’

that’ll get anyone grounded. or worse.

Logan’s eyes widened. “Oh no. Oh shit, this is bad. Anx, look at this,” Logan panicked, shoving his phone in Virgil’s face.

“Woah, woah, Lo, calm down. It’s fine,” Virgil moved the phone away from his face to a distance where he could read the screen, “Never mind. Let’s panic. Oh fuck.” Logan twiddled with his glasses and began to speak at an unintelligible speed.

“We can- We can shut this down, right? It’s possible. Oh my gosh, Wynne is right. Haha, I love caring more about my friends more than myself. Okay anyway. Ummm. We could block the signal? No, i don’t know how much time we have. Um. Uh. We could redirect the call! That’s easier, I think! Okay yes…” Logan continued muttering how he was going to go about this while he walked inside his house and to his computer. Virgil followed suit in a daze and just hoped that Logan would fix the problem. He always does, but, is this the first time he won’t? Virgil thought as he chewed his lip which was bound to swell later.

Logan and Virgil entered Logan’s bedroom. Virgil flopped down onto Logan’s bed while Logic sat at his desk and began to type and write to figure this thing out. An hour later, he breathlessly stopped. He gasped out the air he didn’t realize he was holding.

“I think I did it. I’m not sure. I’ve never tried anything like this before,” Logan lamented.

“It’s okay if it doesn’t work. Just- Thank you. For always protecting me,” Virgil replied.

“I’ve always been afraid of losing you. You’re my best friend, and I- Fuck. Emotions,” Logan said melancholically, his forehead slightly creased.

“It’s okay, I know what you’re trying to say. I love you too,” Virgil whispered with a soft smile. Virgil’s phone started buzzing and when he saw who was calling he furrowed his brow.

“Wynne is calling me?” Virgil questioned. “Should I pick it up or…?”

“Oh right,” Logan adjusted his glasses, “I redirected the call so instead of Wynne’s call going to your dad’s phone, it goes to yours.” Virgil nodded, picked up the phone, and put it on speaker.

“Hello Mr. Sanders, this is Vice Principal Vitali. I apologize for calling this late, but we weren’t getting a response earlier, and I was just leaving my office, so I thought I’d try one last time. Your son is in some serious trouble,” Wynne said with a falsely deepened voice. Virgil’s eyes went wide.

‘What do I say?’ Virgil signed at Logan.

‘Deepen your voice and pretend to be your dad. Just say you’ll ground Virgil or something,’ Logan signed back. Virgil cleared his throat.

“Ah, Mr. Vitali, what trouble do I owe you?” Virgil asked, his deepened voice shaking.

“Your son Virgil picked a fight with this innocent kid, Nurul, and proceeded to beat him up. I am very thankful our English teacher was there to intervene, for it looked like he was going to seriously injure that kid,” Wynne said.

‘This makes me so angry. Flames on the side of my face,’ Logan signed. Virgil couldn’t help but snort a little laugh.

“Excuse me, what was that you said?” Wynne asked.

“Oh sorry, that was a sn-eeze.” And Virgil’s pubescent voice cracks struck at the wrong time on the word sneeze. “I’m a little sick, so my voice is not right, right now,” he lied.

“Well, I apologize that I’m bringing such information at this troubling time. I hope you will deal with your son as you see fit.”

“Yes, thank you. I must be grounding him,” Virgil said, but it came out more like a question than a statement. “Goodbye now,” he said as he tapped the end call button. But. His finger didn’t hit end call, it hit right next to end call, and neither Virgil nor Logan noticed that the phone was still on.

“Oh my gosh, it worked,” Logan cheered.

“Yes!” Virgil shouted, back in his normal voice.

“Ex-Excuse me?”

‘Oh shit,’ Virgil signed.

‘Hang up! Just hang up!’ Logan signed back. But before he could, Wynne spoke again.

“Wait a minute, that sounded like Logan’s voice? And Virgil’s? I sincerely hope I am talking to Mr. Sanders and not his kid and his friend trying to get out of trouble,” Wynne continued, not once breaking character. “Because if it is Logan and Virgil, I wonder how they knew about this call. Surely no one in the administration talked them about it. Which would mean it’s sabotage. And oh, Mr. Sanders. You aren’t even interrupting me. So I must assume it’s Logan and Virgil,” Wynne dropped the phony voice, “You dweebs I will destroy you!”

“U-Um-,” Virgil stuttered trying to get back into his false voice but failing.

“So it is you, jackass. Now let me think, how would you know about this? The only other person who knows is Nurul and he’s with me here right now, aren’t ya buddy? So it must be… hm… perhaps the little nerd decided to hack again? Didn’t he learn his lesson the last time?”

“Actually, no, I didn’t. Nurul’s a terrible fighter,” Logan snarked.

‘Logan, what are you doing?’ Virgil signed.

‘It’s fine. Trust me. Follow my lead’ Logan signed back. Virgil nodded.

“Yeah, he must be pretty weak if I supposedly seriously injured him,” Virgil said.

“Listen well Virgil. I know things about you that you wouldn’t want anyone to know. Now. I will destroy you unless you stop being a shithead and meddling with Roman! He’s mine! You hear me? You have two choices: convince Roman that I was right all along and have him join me again, or, let me destroy Roman for being the worst fucking person alive! Otherwise, you and your stupid nerd friend will find yourselves in a world of pain, got it?” Wynne threatened.

“No.”

“What did you say?” Wynne asked.

“I said no!” Virgil shouted at the phone. “Now get the fuck out of my life. If I’m such a loser and a dweeb, then why the hell do you keep trying to toy with me? Go raise your standards, asshat.” Virgil pressed the end call button for real this time and then looked up at Logan. He was shaking all over and couldn’t breathe. He was absolutely still and silent, and panting and heaving and crying at the same time. It was the beginning of an anxiety attack.

a/n: hope you enjoy! things are getting spicy.

prinxiety tag list from famders tag list:

@221biotchplease @a-blog-just-for-sanders @ace-of-hufflepuffs @ace-v-p-d @acrobaticcatfeline @alextheodd @all-these-trees-stealing-mah-o2 @allaboutme7 @allthemetalsoftherainbow @alyssadashrub @anastasialestina@angeliclogan @angered-turtle @anony-phangirl @anxious-darkwolf @anyay666 @aph-roma @areyousirius-noheisdead @asalwayss @elder-jeremiah @elvishfrenchassassin @emokittenlikesgore @emovirgil @emphoenixcat @erlenmeyertrashofsandersides @evilmuffin @faacethefacts @fabulousfanaticfander @thats-so-crash @fairly-close @faithhopefelony @fanatic564 @fandergecko @fangirlsanonymous @fireflightyt @funsizedgremlin @gamerzylo @gayrobotalien @grey-lysander @hanramz-the-fander @heythereprincey @hi-disappointed-im-daughter @hissesssss @hoodie-bros @hottopicvirge @runyou-cleverboy-andremember @imaflashcard @inkyoo @inkyroo @iris-sanders-athena @ive-given-up-on-it @jade-dragon226-fan @jaybingu @jughead-is-canonically-aroace @just-another-transblog @justmyshitandmoreshit @k9cat @katatles-the-fish @kentato-kenart @kickassking14 @kirsten-the-freak @koalaaquabear @kurna-kovite @l-i-t-vocabcards @lacandra @lacrimosathedark @lana–22 @lockolocka @logically-sided @louisthewarlock @madelynnaa @magicmapleleaf @makemeaplant @makemeaplant @maximum-fander @mercythemermaids-blog @micha-like-you-find-in-rocks @microsoft-nerd @migraine-marathon @milomeepit @minamishipsit @mollycassmith @moonlightinwater @multi-fandom-trash-x9000 @muontsy2 @musicphanpie-b @musicsavedmefromdeath @mydogsaresofuckingstupid @neko-ereri-art @nightmarejasmine @notallpotatoesarefrenchfries @nottodaylogic @notveryglittery @nuttytheorizer @nymphaedoratonks @ocotopushugs @on-lock-like-attica @osnapitzbc @pandagirl0730 @panicatthefalloutphanficfandom @pansexual-cat @pastel-patton123 @pattykrabbies @pearls-of-patton @fricksonsticks @phanic-at-the-malfoys @pieces-of-annedrew @pinkeasteregg @planetsanders @potterlover394 @poundland-twoface @prinxietypreoccupied @proudhufflepuff @prplzorua @purplesatankittycat @radioactivebread @rainbow-beaniegirl @ray-rambles @reba-andthesides @redundant-statements-for-400 @roaring--20s @robanilla @roman-is-a-gay @rose-gold-roman @royallyanxious @rptheturk @ruuworld @samidaboss3 @sanders-fam-ily @sanders-sides-things @sanders-trash-4ever @sanderssides-deathangel @saphirestrike @sarcastic-anxious @sassy-in-glasses @save-dirk-gently @sesame-icecream @shygirl4991 @silversunshine2012 @siriuswhiskers @smokeyrutilequartz @smollestsinnamonroll @space-d0ubt @spacenerrrd @the-feels-are-coming @spoonfullofcrofters @starlightlogan @starry-eyed-haiku-dreamer @stars-in-mine-eyes @stormblessedcastiel @storytellerofuntoldlegends @strangerthings-and-phan @superfandertrashbros @superintrovertfangirl @thatonenerdtm @the-optimism-of-the-ostriches @the-prince-and-the-emo @theanxietyofbeinganxious @thecrimsoncodex @thegirlwiththedragonheart @thenerdycube @thepusheenqueen @theroyalramen @thesilentbluesparrow @theworldismysupernova @theworldismysupernova @thisisshien @thomas-must-get-to-sleep @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @too-precious-to-process @too-random-for-me @toujours-fidele @trashfireiplier @trashypansexual @tree4life25 @unknownsandersfan @urtrashhq @v-blue-writer @vampyrsarah @virgilisaneternalmood @virgils-anxiety @virgils-hoodie @voices-and-stardust @vulnerablevirgil @watch-me-introvert @weird-short-person @whyamihereohwell @wowimanerdblr @yamiaainferno @yonnie-boy @yourmomsafalsehood @l-i-t-vocabcards @enderperson43 @houseplxnthoodie @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @nicoandtheninegalaxies @beetlequail @katie-the-noble-fangirl @johnlockandrarry @mildly-entertaining-fiasco

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil sanders #prinxiety #roman sanders #logan sanders #mine #my fic #hsau

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hangonimevolving · 6 years

Text

Attempting some gratitude, for once.

I need to post this, before the thought and the mood from which it’s sprung both dissipate into thin air.

I suck at gratitude, on the whole. Seriously, I do, and I know I need to work on that. I’ll spare everyone my sob stories, explanations, justifications, etc. for why I have had a hard time with gratitude in recent years, but suffice to say - I am aware that I suck at it, and I heard somewhere that the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one.... so fine. I admit it. I’m ungrateful and unappreciative in my life most days.

But today, I’ve had multiple - MULTIPLE - moments of just feeling this weird, inexplicable, warm and fuzzy, happy, sigh-inducing THING just bubble up in me. And I was like WTF is this feeling?! Why is my tummy all glittery and light? Why am I sitting here on the sofa smiling for no damn reason?! OHHHHH! Wait! Is this.....gratitude?! HOLY SHIT, I think it is! So I’m gonna write it down and note it for all posterity. I, Evolver, have felt gratitude on this 7th day of September, 2018.

It all started last Saturday night, where, right in the middle of Labor Day weekend and my sister Rithers’ visit to our hike in Miami along with her hubby, Uncle K, and her kids H20 and NiNi, our 5.5-year old Vevvy fell ill. We thought that perhaps he was just overly exhausted from a long and happy day in the pool when he felt warm to the touch on Saturday night, but mid-day Sunday, during a beach excursion - Vev’s FAVORITE thing in the world, he completely fell apart, acting listless, fatigued, and not having fun at all. One look at him, standing statuesque on the beach, staring out to sea longingly while tears rolled down his cheeks, said it all: “what is going on?! I’m so confused, mommy! I’m in my favorite place in the world, and yet I feel so miserable! What is happening to me?!” A hand on his forehead revealed that he was burning up. Without a moment’s hesitation, Dr. Spouse loaded him up in the car and headed for home, while I remained at the beach with Dey to host Rithers and co. a while longer. Poor Vev needed a shower, some kiddie Tylenol, and bed rest, stat.

the “I am siiiiick” face :(

Over the next seven - SEVEN! - days, Vev would continue to have relentless fevers or 101-103F even with continuous children’s Tylenol and Motrin. He also developed monster congestion in his sinuses and nose, headaches, body ache, and general fatigue. I was sincerely shocked and more than a little intimidated by his congestion snot (keeping it real), which was so thick and oppressive, it would choke his throat and inhibit his from breathing if he dared to rest in even a semi-reclining position.

The poor kid had no choice but to be completely upright if he didn’t want to gag on his own phlegm, which meant that he (and by transitive property, I) could really sleep no more than 90 minutes at a stretch for four nights straight. He was miserable, and I was doing everything I could to help him, staying with him each night either on an air mattress in my bedroom, or just holding him against my shoulder/chest in my bed while he desperately tried to sleep and breathe at the same time. I felt awful for him, and mused for a moment about parents whose children have respiratory disorders like CF who live their lives this way.... good health is such a blessing that we all take for granted.

As much as I hated every minute of Vev’s suffering, there was something a bit nostalgic in holding him sleeping in my arms for several consecutive nights. Wasn’t there a time in the not-so-distant past where this was the ONLY way he’d sleep?! I bitch and moan all the time about how clingy, dependent, and non-self reliant my kids are — but it has been years since Vev needed me at night this way. My Vevvy has grown up a lot.

And to his credit, despite all this sicky misery, he was really a trooper while ill. Against his traditional character, when sick or not, he really didn’t complain much - just went quiet and kept to himself for days, forming a little nest on the sofa each day with a warm blankie, big box of Kleenex, and his iPad, not really asking for much at all except quiet and rest. He never really complained when I had to give him medication, and he did his best to heed my urges to drink clear fluids even when I could tell he really didn’t want to. And - forgive the TMI here - but you know your kid is really growing up when they begin to have some way of forewarning you and/or running to the bathroom on their own steam and hitting the preferred target of the toilet when they’ve gotta vomit. Fortunately, Vev only puked twice this week, and I suspect that too was only bc he gagged on his own copious snot — but both times, he announced “throwwww uuuup!” to me before sprinting to the loo and handling affairs with no mess and accurate aim. HALLELUJAH! This should be considered a major developmental milestone!!! (And yes - poor, poor kid! I really am glad it was only the twice, because that must have sucked a lot for him!)

Yeah, so. He’s growing up. Way to go, buddy!!!... and, sniff.

(supposedly this says “Mommy I love you ”... but he always starts writing at the bottom of a page and works his way up. He may also be of the mind that “Mommy” is spelled “mom-E.” Yes, we’re gonna work on it)

It was only yesterday, Thursday, that we got an official pediatrician diagnosis of his illness: the flu, as in the legit flu virus, or Influenza A. The word came too late for antiviral medications to be of any great use to him, unfortunately, but I was grateful anyway that we got a halfway-decent pediatrician BRILLIANT nurse practitioner who needed my assertive request demand for a prophylactic prescription or Tamiflu for Dey. We’ve had shitty luck in South Florida with pediatricians who appear to be reactionary and unnecessarily nonsensical in their responses to my requests for help - but this time, our pedi NP was A+. She treated our family like competent, educated people and did things that made sense as far as ensuring this highly-contagious virus wouldn’t spread to another healthy child living in the same household. I wish she could be our regular PCP (but of course, I bet she can’t be, bc she’s not a doctor. Grr, fucking managed care. Oops, hold it - I’m supposed to be channeling gratitude here, not my customary bitchiness. My bad.)

Anyway, speaking of Dey, I’ve got to brag about him a bit here too. At 3.5 years old, Dey’s baseline is definitely chill, go-with-the-flow, glass-half-full, and a pleasant, happy and easygoing “whatever you want, dude!”-ness that Vev NEVER was at that age. It’s been really awesome to see. But this week, his general outlook on life, combined with impressive moments of being a team player, cooperating, helping out, and exhibiting formidable empathy really made me sooo proud.

It’s certainly understandable that he’d be potentially jealous that his older brother got to skip an entire week of school while he still had to go. It would be even more understandable since they are actual CLASSMATES at school this year (yes, our Montessori school groups ages 4-6/preschool, pre-K and kindergarten in one classroom, so they’ve been together at school and at home since the start of the academic year). So I was very impressed when Dey accepted his brother’s illness and his need to stay home from school, while he was forced to go. Without one word of complaint, he’d get up each morning, eat his breakfast, get washed up and dressed out in uniform, gather his things, then visit Vev quickly and dispense a goodbye hug and a “hope you feel better, Vev!” before loading up in the car for school drop-off. What a trooper. At afternoon pick-up, when I’d ask about his day at school, he’d say with a little frown, “oh, school was okay...but Vev wasn’t on the playground.” It was kinda weird feeling my heart simultaneously break a little, but also burst with pride at how much he loves his brother. Sweet kiddo.

At home, each afternoon he’d run excitedly to Vev to see how he was doing, his face full of hopeful anticipation that perhaps today, Vev was feeling better and could play with him... but when he’d find Vev too miserable and tired to play, his face would momentarily fall in disappointment, but then he would muster some compassion and understanding, silently shuffle away, and find a quiet game to do in the vicinity, just so he could be nearby without disturbing Vev. Or, cuter still, he’d snuggle down on the opposite side of the couch as Vev, and tune his iPad into the same YouTube video Vev would be watching, so they could give each other silly smiles and glances during the funny parts. The boy would periodically race off in the house to find his toy doctor kit, and would affix his little plastic stethoscope to his ears so he could “give Vev a checkup” and “make him feel better.”

(Dr. Cutie Pie is in)

It was adorable, man. His whole world spins because of his brother. It’s so touching. I don’t know how it is that I managed to have two kids who love each other so much, because karmically I’ve done NOTHING to earn this. My sister and I were rotten to each other as kids, and only really turned a corner on it in our... what, our late 30′s?! Haha :) But I’m so grateful for these two dudes. These two little people are the best of friends, and they can’t live without each other. The feels.

One more funny brag about Dey. Dr. Spouse and I often jokingly refer to him as Dory, i.e. the lovable blue fish, voiced by Ellen DeGeneres from the Disney movie “Finding Nemo.” Dory’s schtick is that she’s easily distracted and has short-term memory.

Fittingly, Dory is one of Dey’s favorite cartoon characters, and he’s not shy to let the world know....

youtube

Anyway. Remember that whole prophylactic script for Tamiflu? Mind you, I was so grateful to get it. But. Ummmm, pediatric Tamiflu tastes FOUL. It is seriously the most bitter, disgusting, viscous goo I’ve ever gingerly licked to mentally prepare myself for my kid’s reaction to. I began fearing Dey’s reaction, and the ensuing tantrums to come over the five-day course of the drug. But I spoke matter-of-fairly to Dey about how this was a medicine he’d need to take to keep himself healthy, and that it would be a little bit yucky, but that I’d give him a HUGE spoonful of sugar right after to make it taste better (and THANK YOU, blessed Mary Poppins, for your genius).

Luckily, little Dory just took my words at face value without any further thought, opened his mouth, and downed the nasty shot of devil’s semen Tamiflu that I dispensed into his mouth. Immediately his face went every shade of red, purple, and white, with a coordinating expression like “what the hell is this shit?!” — but I swooped in there prepared, like a crack-smoking Mother of Batman, giving him a swig of water then heaping a MASSIVE spoon of white sugar directly onto his tongue. The result was nothing short of magical - the kid instantaneously closed his eyes in pleasure, turned up his cute little round cheeks to the ceiling with a huge smile on his face, and loudly cooed “Mmmm!” as if it was the best damn thing he’d ever eaten in his life. Moments later, the sugar fully dissolved, Dey matter-of-fairly reminisced with a RainMan-esque tone, “hey mommy, that medicine was kind of yucky for me. Kind of salty. Kind of spicy. But the SUGAR WAS YUUUUUUMMMMMY!” I worried that at the next dosing (and man, the kid’s gotta take it morning and night, poor little dude) he’d run screaming from the salty spicy medicine, and wouldn’t fall for the sugar trick — but amazingly, when I announced “medicine and sugar time,” the child came RUNNING to me with a huge grin on his face like he’d just won the lottery. He gulped down the medicine like a champ, swigged the water himself, then began changing “Su-gar! Su-gar! Su-gar!” till I ladled a bit into his mouth. Naturally, my mind spun forward a bit, concerned that his ease of overcoming the Yucky Taste Barrier and downing this stuff for a cheap reward might translate into some unsavory teenage and young adult behaviors (err, tequila shot champion in the making?! Please god, help us). But, for now - eternally grateful for my little Dory’s easy distractability and forgiving memory!!! Vev, at that age and even now, would have NEVER gone along with this!

(is it just me, or do they even kinda sorta look alike, Dory and Dey? No one else sees it?! No one?!!! Hmm...)

Anyway. In conclusion, it’s not normal for me to have something kind of bad happen, like the flu hitting one of my kids, but finding some good in the mess. But here I am, in spite of myself, awash in all the warm fuzzies.

1. I’ve got two healthy, happy kids, when many people have children with serious health issues and have to live their lives watching their kids sick and miserable all the time

2. my kids are growing up, becoming wonderfully independent, self-reliant, empathetic and helpful. But they still sometimes need me, and that’s nice too.

3. They both have such fun, distinct personalities.

4. I admit that it’s pretty awesome that my second kid is so chill. Love them both to bits, but if kid #2 has been more ornery and neurotic, I think that would have sucked. Having a chill kid #2 is a godsend.

5. They frigging LOVE EACH OTHER. It’s a goddamn brotherly love fest up in here.

6. Last but not least - the flu sucks, but it isn’t forever, and life will go on. Soon, in fact. And we’ll be onto the next adventure together. Look forward to seeing what it’ll be!

#Vev #Dey #parenthood #influenza #flu #brotherlylove

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

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First of all, I'm glad you didn't just drop your whole birth chart here, cuz that's kinda dangerous (??) in a way that is very personal haha personal information about you. So I'm sorry for even asking for it. Idk people might want to use that information against you in wtever way, so it's best to keep it to yourself really lol. (I know it sounds ridiculous but best be safe than sorry).

Second of all I think taurus people are very interesting, I feel like there's an air of "don't really care if you think I'm living my life wrong" about yall that is very alluring. All earth signs (virg, taur, cap) are like that tbh but yall are kind hard to reach I think, like it takes some effort to really get to know you. So I think that's why you might think that people don't usually have a formed opinion when you tell them you're a taurus. I feel very drawn to earth signs but yall always break my heart and vice versa lol, like that compatability bs is kinda real (I'm a saggitarius btw and apparently earth and fire do not mix well). And the whole good and bad thing, well we all have light and shadow sides, doesn't mean we're inherently good or bad. And I have to say it's totally fitting that you're a taurus and are not that into astrology or know much about it bc earth signs are most of the time the ones who say star signs are bs and not real or just generally don't care about it lol.

And then your moon (which is your more vulnerable side, emotions and how you navigate that) in taurus might tell us that your pretty like chill and a bit passive. Just down-to-earth and likes the secure and stable aspects of life. Your gemini placements might stir things up at times lol but generally you have like a fixed energy. And like I said before, you enjoy the good things and take pleasure in just relaxing (don't think there's anything wrong with seeking pleasure and enjoying that, that's one of the things I like most about yall).

Ah gemini rising! Sounds like you're a fun one. Your ascendent is how people perceive you so if you're at a party right, people might look at you and say that you're talkative, curious, can talk about anything really like you have many different interests and is very smart and witty. Thing about gemini placements is the duality of your mind, people say Geminis have like a split personality cuz they tend to have like opposite desires (like wanting to socialize and to be alone at the same time). But I personally think that people just don't understand how complex humans can be haha anyway I absolutely adore geminis, it's one of my favourite signs. Sorry if this sounds really general but I'd have to know more about your houses (not hp houses hehe) to be more specific.

Sorry for the uh delayed response, I got my second dose yesterday and I've been just really poorly as it purges all the sickness in me lol. Hope you're doing well and enjoying your weekend!

No don't apologise about that I'm a pretty open person like I wouldn't even think something like that would be personal about me like I said I really don't understand start signs so would've never thought someone could use my chart against me... I'm really hopeless when it comes to things like this but I find it all so interesting and always want to know more about what my chart says about me... like I said when I show people around me my chart it's always the same "Ahh yeah makes sense" and then they never tell me why it makes sense, I have a cousin that's really into this and we both once got talking about the co-sign app and she told me a little about stuff but not much all I know is I have a lot of repeat signs in my chart but I would've never thought people could use this information against me at all but thanks for the warning I appreciate that!! I think what you've said about taurus here is really fitting for me I do have a "I don't care if you think I'm living my life wrong" air to me because my life is my life and if I'm happy and not outwardly hurting anyone then to me I'm living my life right (I have one sibling who likes to judge my life a little but I really don't care what she thinks)... I get along with some fire signs easy enough my ex was an Aries and we actually got along really well and are still friends now and my best friend (my roommate) is a Sagittarius and so is one of my sister's and I get along with her so well... I am sorry that earth signs always break your heart or vice versa... I've heard Earth and Fire signs don't mix and that for Earth signs other Earth signs or Water signs are better- don't know how true this is maybe you can confirm or deny that? Honestly you saying this does make sense for my moon being in taurus I am a pretty chilled person and I do just like things to be secure... I'd like to think I'm down to earth and quite passive but I am sure the people that know me in life would be able to confirm this better than I can I do enjoy good things and take a lot of pleasure in them and I have no shame in saying what I enjoy and what I like and when I like something it's usually in excess but I'm fine with this. Again my rising sign makes sense when you explain what that means, I am a very curious person and will talk to people about anything. My roommate is always shocked because anytime we go anywhere... concerts, clubs, plays, anything I will always leave with new friends because I will talk to anyone about anything no matter where I am... I don't know about being smart or witty but I would like to think I am haha Yeah I have heard the split personality thing about gemini and that's something my cousin and my sisters that are really into it commented on when they saw my signs and that's why I was a but unsure about having this sign in my big 3 but seeing what you've written here about it that makes sense and I am fine with it and it's great to see someone say it's one of their favourites because that never happens really haha Well like I said I'm happy to tell people any of my signs in my chart I didn't realise it was dangerous to do so but I would be very interested to know what all of it means haha Oh no I hope you feel better soon!! I know my first one made me so ill... I had the Astra Zeneca one before people found out it was dangerous to give to people under a certain age so that was fun when all the news broke about that Really hope you start to feel better soon and that you're able to enjoy what's left of your weekend!! I'm doing great thank you and so far can't complain about my weekend it's been a nice relaxing one ☺️

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neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

ah yeah i suppose ur right. yeah i think quarentine has had that sort of effect on a lot of people :( sorry to hear abt ur strict parents, hopefully ur friend will be able to come back soon. small outings (even with family) are still good tho, make sure ur taking care of urself toff.

youre totally right! ah yes thats good advice (/gen) ill try and use that when im in a slump ty. any music suggestions?

lol sames. even some of the stuff abt seungmin, innie etc is a little uncomfortable, like theyre grown ass men for sure, but at the same time, theyre still young, still just over being a teenager in the grand scheme of things. (on that note, i do struggle with worrying that im infantalising them, obviously theyre adults but at the same time, theyre still young. i do treat all fictional characters as my children, but i guess its different when its real people. idk. what do you think?) yeah some stans rlly need to take a chill pill, some are rlly walking the wire between 'ah theyre attractive/that look rlly suits them' and making fucking smut fics abt minors, like... they do not see a problem with that?? yeah tbh i feel like unless theyre 18 they shouldnt be put into the spotlight, weve seen what it does to peoples mental health, but modern day kpop industry is a lot like old hollywood with a lot of popular child actors -_- hopefully the big companies will learn but i agree, its unlikely

suuuuure toff haha. ill go searching for them, but idk if ill be able to find the fluff needle in the angst haystack (jkjk) yeah, fair i groan and complain but you do write angst etc rlly well, so if its what ur comfortable with, then pls continue, it is one of your strong suits, well as you write fluff aside

ah okay good! ill continue to send you essays then

THE ALBUM YES. so ive been looking forward to it for literally months, this is actually my first skz album release as a stay (since the last on was 9 months ago) i was sitting there hitting refresh on my spotify the second 6pm kst came around. (speaking of which, how did you do the release? i couldnt decide whether to watch or listen first but i ended up on listening cos there would be more material) okay: so cheese was super cool, very skz ya know? tho i almost wish theyd made domino the title track, tho obv it was a more experimental track and would have been a bit controversial (much like whistle for bp) i looooved domino and thunderous was absolutely impeccable. all the songs were amazing but standouts were- secrets, secrets which lowkey made me tear up idk why, red lights which almost killed me (it did not have to go that hard, but it did) and OT8 WOLFGANG omgggg i wasnt sure if hyunjin was going to be included in it but i was hoping and, ya know people had said hed be in there, but the further i got in, the less i was sure and then BAM hyunjin started what had been jisung's part and i just sat there grinning for about 5 minutes. surfin was absolutely adorable and gone away almost made me cry AGAIN. star lost was so touching, almost a nod to hyunjins little star? silent cry was relatable beyond anything. SSICK was funny? for some reason I was laughing while it was playing, idk the combination of added cheering and minhos aggressiveness and the totall seriousness they sung it. but i rlly enjoyed it. sorry i love you showcased their vocals like nothing else. the view is THE BOP of 2021, absolutely going to be stuck in my head for the next decade, that hook is genius. what did you think?

also did you watch their grow up performance? with all the stays and ALL THE TEARS? ;n; i feel like this is the end of an era of skz and tbh im kinda happy but also sad. super excited for their promotions but super bummed they wont get to tour. ah well

<3 w.a. 🐺

answer under the cut bc i gave an equally long answer to this already long ask HAJSH

oh yeah, abt quarantine having an effect. my friend and i talked about this earlier actually. i didn't realize the world was moving so fast until the pandemic happened. being in quarantine gave me time to think and i got to know myself more. it's just the sole good thing i got out of the isolation lmao. and abt my strict parents, ironically i got to go out today so i got to hang out with a few of my bestfriends. i had fun but my legs are a bit sore from walking. but they're a different set of friends. i'll get to hang out with the others when my getaway driver comes home in december.

hmm music recommendations for writing? depends on the plot you're writing. care to share what story you're working on and i'll try to rake my brain for a song that might match the vibe. i listen to classical / lo-fi if i don't have song inspo for a fic because lyrics sometimes distract me.

i don't think that's infantilizing tho. for me, it has something to do with my environment and the way i was raised. maybe it's the same the other way around? like this certain age (for the ones above 18 but below 20) is thirst-able for them. idk really. it's just not for me ?n? what i do NOT condone is writing smut for minors??? like get checked : D // i agree with everything with the idols being 18+ before they debut simply because it's for the best for their well-being like. how can young idols decide that this shit is the thing they want to do for life? or at least until their contracts last. idk :// it's unfortunate that it's unlikely to happen.

WELL. i have a list so you won't have to go search for them! in class (minho), in the rain (seungmin), gladius maximus (chan) and you've read five star already. and i just realized that most, if not all, of my upcoming fics are fluffs and i'm fond of all of them :D i used to focus a lot on angst because fluff disgusted the living shit out of me. i think things changed when i wrote champagne problems and hurt myself so bad i wanted to drop angst entirely. i didn't, of course, but i allowed myself to be self-indulgent now.

for the release of the album, i was on twt and watched the vid at 12 views (if i remember correctly, i watched back door at 14 so HASJH) i’m gonna talk by track so it wont be too confusing? bc i wrote this in paragraph format and it just ???? beware im very picky with tracks even if they’re my ults. so no offense if we have opposing opinions and i’m not fond of reading lyrics so these are all music wise.

cheese - oh god i hated cheese at first listen but it grew on me easily. i was singing the yeahyeahyeahyeah bit all day today :D

thunderous - i cant say that it’s my favorite title track. it felt really dry sometimes, both mv and music wise. but at the same time, it’s not that bad. the choreography carried the song tho o.O it’s so fucking cool. but like go live, another track has my heart and it’s

domino - AND YES I AGREE THAT THEY SHOULDVE MADE DOMINO TITLE TRACK UGHHHHH WHAT A WASTED FUCKING OPPORTUNITY. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS HOW FOND I AM OF THIS SONG. it stands close to the level i love easy.

ssick - was a skip on first listen too because i found the chorus underwhelming but it grew on me? not that much but i can bear listening to it.

the view - it’s something the gen public like, hence its something i dislike. im not fond of songs that are structured like this? it’s not a bad song, just not the type of song i like. but i agree that the hook is very not catchy but it would get stuck in ur head.

sorry, i love you - it’s not as sad as i expected but i actually like it??? i can’t wait to write a fic out of it (1) HAJSHAJ it’s like a 3/5 for me. it’s angsty but chill?

silent cry - i’m pissed at this song bc it hits but sometimes it doesn’t?@?#!? but it’s starting to grow on me but definitely not my fave track.

secret secret - glad i found a secret secret enthusiast because my irls thought it was a skip?$?#@$? it gives me ikon vibes and i’m a huge fan of ikon’s discog so this was a win for me T_T +

STAR LOST - gives me bigbang song vibes and now im very sad :(( in case u didnt know, i’m a hUGE yg fan and 2ne1/bigbang introduced me to kpop so when i heard this track that gave me yg feels i just <3___<3 and it’s one of my favorite tracks anw moving on,

red lights - I WANT TO SKIP THE FIRST TEN SECONDS OF RED LIGHTS EVERY TIME IT PLAYS LIKE IT MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD KDSJFSK but fine. i’m adding this to props and mayhem’s playlist LMAO it’s more aggressive than sexc tho. more enemies to lovers o. O

surfin’ - this coming right after red lights just wasn’t the best decision arrangement wise because how did we go from ooh sexc to aigh pARTAY. felix saying sheesh T___T it’s such a fun song i want to go to the beach ;n; do you like beaches?

gone away - i have yet to read the lyrics because i’m using this as inspo for a jeongin fic jskjash it’s not the type of ballad i like but it’s so fucking sad to listen to :’ ) the pitch change caught me off guard? still does. it’ll grow on me prolly.

wolfgang - I YELLED WHEN I HEARD HYUNJIN IN WOLFGANG. i didn’t like this song until recently. it gives me the confidence boost i need to pick myself off self-esteem crashes.

and no i haven't watched that performance and i prolly wont because i’ll cry. i’m excited for the promotions too. do you think they’ll still have a repackage?? i cant fucking believe that i just finished waiting for 12am kst for skz teasers and now i have to look forward to 12am for nct 127??@?#? NOT A SINGLE DAY OF REST FOR THIS STAYZEN

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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survivor-ingary · 3 years

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Episode 2 - "I DON'T WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE" - Ellie

At the tribal, Ping was voted out of the Pendragon Tribe nearly unamimously. Tribal immunity for this round is Pictionary.

I bet all these bitches know i voted for Keith and now they are going to come kill me in my sleep if i die i blame dylan

yass round 2 i either think im in the best position on this tribe or theyre all secretly coming for me thats all

Tribal went as well as I expected it to go. No major drama. It seems like Keith is in real trouble if we do go to tribal again though which would put me in a very tricky spot. For now, though, I will be trying my best in the upcoming challenge. The problem is, however, timezones and schedules. Jon is going to be our drawer, but he can only do it tonight or in the early afternoon tomorrow which I will not be there for. Additionally, Keith is asleep so we have no idea what his schedule is going to be so we basically had to schedule the challenge without him. And Nya could only do right before the deadline tomorrow which Jon cannot do. I hate this for us, truly. I just hope that Moth and I can rub our brain cells together for this one so that we can pull out a win. OR somehow the other tribes fail horribly. On the bright side, I am finally starting to catch up on Duolingo exercises. They're a lot easier than I thought, but it is still going to be tedious af to save up enough coins for some of the higher end products at the shop. As a final note, I am going to work with Nya in the long term as we promised each other to. Hopefully that actually works out. Time to actually be loyal and be a hero this time around. Need to try something different.

If we lose this challenge, I will be very upset. We went so hard on this challenge!!! I believe that we can at least get second place, but I don't know how crazy the other tribes are. So, let's see what goes on

Ayyyyy soooooooo looks like the four, Colin, me, Ava, and Brayden are officially in an alliance!? I’m really hyped to be working with everybody and already have sights on who should go if we have to go to tribal 👀 but like I’m gonna feel so bad if we go to tribal and I orchestrate a whole plan to take someone out I gotta do it when I’m not in my feels and the planets aren’t fucking with my emotions too heavy. But go alliance ! This means I’ll be able to stay safe until hopefully a merge and hopefully we can avoid a tribe swap till then which I get those vibe from it !! But I’ll be here to survive two more tribals just in case which is pretty rad. Other then that hopefully me offering to draw doesn’t end us up in the bottom and we can keep killing ! But anyways that is it as off know hopefully I have a lot more coins tomorrow morning and I get hit the hat shop bright and motherfucking early.

Just got asked to be apart of an alliance <33333 the besties in the group trust me which maybe ain't the right move but for now we gotta love the bonding. exciting!!!

YAY FOR ROUND 2! Okay, so I meet once again with the Hat Shop and... third times the charm! Except,,, the charm is getting nothing AGAIN lmao I'm not complaining though, still got that extra vote :P I stayed up at 1 AM for this challenge, and I honestly think our team popped off. Anastasia was guessing a ton, and Riley was amazing at drawing real quick! I have a relatively good feeling about our performance, so I hope I wake up to the news of our tribe being immune :D

so yesterday I set myself on a mission to get an alliance. I wanted Ava + Brayden + Toph + me as a majority alliance. it was our day off from tribal so I thought it was the perfect day to do it!! I talked to Brayden about it first because he's the person I feel the most comfortable with, and then after a lot of coordination and careful communication I was able to pull it together!! I think the most important thing when making alliances is making everyone feel like they're a big part in it. So I was careful to ask each person how they feel about the others, about the game, and made a point to say that I wanted to work with them specifically. Some may call that a little manipulative, but I wanna make sure that I'm an essential part of the alliance!! i need everyone to feel like they need/want me there.

all of this happening so soon into the game is a testament to how aggressive I'm playing this time around. I usually like to lay low and just rely solely on my social game in the start, but I'm trying this out to establish myself early on! I wanted to play the tribe leader and I think I'm doing that in a smart and subtle way!!

so yes now we have a 4 person majority alliance named "duolingo owl hate club" because fuck that guy. I think we're the 4 most active and present people on the tribe so it's only natural for us to work together, but I think it's definitely worth noting that I was the one that was pulling the strings here.

We just did the pictionary challenge, I have a good feeling about it!! Toph was an amazing artist, and if we win, all credit rightfully goes to him!! I think the guessers also did great of course, but like come on, the artist has to be the mvp. I'm really hoping we pull through!! I don't mind going to tribal, but I genuinely don't wanna vote anyone out yet. I'm fine just playing the game in a precautionary way. I know I'm in a great position if we do go to tribal, but it's always preferred that we don't go.

Everyone else on my tribe: doing the challenge and kicking ass

Me: I’m sleep

Riley (Tumblr has once again chosen violence so only the first 10 get banners 🥲)

I think our challenge went pretty well! My team were good guessers. Feeling like I've established some Integrity now. Hope it keeps me safe later!

Toph Soooooo we finished the challenge with 32 points and like wig !! I was a quick as drawer for 32pts expect when my internet lagged, but still ! I think we whooped some ass and if we do go to tribal I know it won’t be me going, thanks to Duolingo owl hate club but I’m also worried same could have and advantage because they seem pretty kean on learning a lot in like 3 hours and then tried to cover that statement to not seem so threatening but like babs s a huge threat too apparently they love Duolingo and know 5 laugnes ? This is from brayden but If so go babs ! That’s absolutely iconic for real Life but fucking scary in this game ! I gotta be buddy buddy with them so hopefully if they do have something it won’t be them going home first and it will be Ava. But I’m thinking we might get second place again unless someone is a fucking wizard at this.

Dennis hmm i think we did well enough in the challenge to not see tribal tomorrow but who knows i guess we shall find out tn

the way ellie was so on top of stuff yesterday only to oversleep the challenge makes me giggle maybe shes freaking out about it which makes me also giggle but i dont think its really a big deal

anastasia asked me to call yesterday and i was like sure lets talk but it is damn near impossible to hold a conversation with her idk i tried BUT she did tell me “yeah i just got off a call with ellie” im like i see. she says shes down to work with ellie but that quickly switched from ellie being ~experienced~ but good to know ellie is also playing hard. anastasia also mentioned that she talks to riley a fair amount who i still have yet to connect to well. but dat makes me think ellie is def talking to riley too miss debate team is definitely a talker. but good on her for the social game i guess

kenneth keeps being like haha we’re the same person and im like yeah👁 i bet we are👁

i just wanna win and not think about tribal just keep it slow and chill for now keep learnin my welsh i guess

Ava Second challenge was Pictionary and I had a ton of fun playing. The tea is: toph did a great job. He was pretty vocal about not being a great artist but really I think he did great. However, Babs was super inactive yesterday and ~too late~ said they were a great artist and should've been picked to draw. It was kind of like.... k babs thanks for the belated "help". They did do great guessing which scored a point in my book. Brayden was supposed to play but last minute logged off without saying anything so we did the challenge without him :/ sorta a bummer. Anyway the lack of participation from Sam is kind of popping off so we'll see where that leads them... Overall a fun game and fingers crossed we did well!

Moth I think we did okay at the challenge. Today I am dying from the heatwave so I’m not thinking too straight! Stay cool everyone

Ellie So yesterday Anastasia and I called for about an hour!!! I’d say we’re definitely way closer, she’s someone I really wanna work with although the idea of her and Brayden eventually being on the same tribe is kinda scary cause I know how close they are. Still she’s so fun to talk to and I just love her energy so much!

Pictionary challenge results: Jenkins Tribe wins with Penadragon second, Hatter Tribe has to go to tribal council on the following day.

Ava Well well well seems our bob ross, toph, didn't pull through (y'all think babs would've pulled it out for us or slept through our challenge like they said they almost did?) I can't wait for tribal. I'm in it for the drama. I'm hashtag voting Sam off - didn't even bother to be apart of our challenge and not too sure they've even been online for a full 24 hours. Weed out the weak.....

Anastasia

youtube

Brayden https://imgur.com/n60Lz0c

guys i dont know what to do someone help me out

Dennis i hope damn brayden gets the boot

Raffy Woo! We don't have to go to tribal again! We stan!

Ellie So I figured I’d go idol hunting today cause the shop was about to close and I just wanted to see what had been bought and what possible hats there were, I see that there’s a hat I have enough for that hasn’t been bought and I decide fuck it let’s get it

APPARENTLY ITS SOMETHING THAT IM NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS OR HOW TO USE IT YET???? THEY SAID ILL FIND OUT ABOUT IT LATER

I DONT WANT THE MYSTERY MOUSE-CA-TOOL BESTIE

Sam Well you see. I like all my tribe people. And I think we did real good on that music video! So, I think rather than voting anyone else off, I think I should just vote myself off if that is possible! Ahhh

Babs So sad to see Sam not only go but go through what they're going through :( same w Toph :( they all seem so lovely

Keith Not sure if i submitted a confession after the last tribal. But if I didnt here it is.

Happy I made it out of that tribal. I had raffy backing me with whom I played. Last time we played. We were at odds. We didnt work together but whats worse that we were against each other. It was either him or me goin out. Hopefully thats the past n we can work together. I jus need to keep things calm n show that Im not here itching to make big moves. So they dont feel threatened by me. N its easy cause right now. I havnt made that kind og bond with anyone on my tribe. To even think of such moves. Lets see what round two holds for me.

Colin so uh

we lost! :(

I was really bummed tbh. Like I thought we did well but circumstances with the challenge were just really unfortunate, from conflict about who wanted to be the artist to people disappearing the moment the challenge started, I think we did well despite all of that. Except we did kinda get stomped anyway. Oh well!! The game moves on. Tribal has to happen.

Initially I was gonna push for Babs, just because I feel like I don't wanna attach myself to them too early on. I've seen how much of a bitter player they can be, and lets just say I'm not the most loyal ally to have. however! 9 minutes after we lost, Ava announces to our alliance that she's voting Sam. I wasn't surprised, Sam has been the one not really pulling their weight. But I had some good connections with her!! we both did colorguard and shes so sweet and easy to talk to. I was really conflicted for a little bit, debating on whether or not to actually push for Babs. I think brayden sensed my hesitance but we both knew there was nothing really I could do to stop Sam from being the vote. At first tribal, the initial name always spreads like wildfire.

However, my mess was stopped abruptly by Sam asking to be voted out. welp!! okay then!! babs stays i guess!! i'm not too bothered. I'll never turn down an easy vote hehe.

Pretty sure there's a swap tonight. I'm kinda scared of that

uwu

Brayden

youtube

i almost forgot to upload this but dont worry i just remembered

Colin screams

Toph So we’re going to tribal in 20 and all I have to say right now is if there is a tribe swap after I’m gonna so scared but I ducking called I had a vibe and it was right that’s what is gonna win me this game trusting my intuition. I’m holding on now and gonna be the biggest comp beast next challenge in case I get fucked on this swap !!!! Or at least if it is a swap 🤔

Riley I don't know what this announcement's gonna be I'm worriedddd... Ginny said it probably means we're swapping teams but I don't wannaaaa I like our team.

Toph Sam self sacrificing made this the easiest vote ever and me being safe is a plus I guess 😎

#episodes

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zukadiary · 6 years

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Ill Conceived Terror Trip Day 1: West Side Story

After I made that dramatic post about missing Daimon’s ohirome, one KazukiMotherfuckingSora showed up to rehearsal in red nails and dangly earrings, and here I am for a meager week, something my fear of flying and I never planned nor desired to attempt, least of all in the winter with my vacation days tapped out and my work schedule running 11pm-7am. Daylight where?

This whole situation is so... unfortunate. It’s ticket cancellation hell; I was supposed to go with three friends today and all their tickets evaporated. My second ticket got cancelled too. But faced with the painful reality that barring a true miracle this show will be entirely lost to the void, I’m feeling very lucky for the one shot I got, and very justified in deciding extremely late be extremely stupid. I wish something this good didn’t have to be this ephemeral. I tried my very best to burn it into my jet lagged memory... knowing West Side Story helped.

Other than dilution of the racism issue, the show was basically untouched. Some of that was just kind of lost in translation, but a bit was consciously altered (for example, America is all ladies minus the dissenting Shark men). EDIT: two people have now informed me that this was actually a movie change! Anyway, while it would be cool to see them tackle something like that, I get that there’s no cultural reference point, and I really can’t complain about my experience, other than that it was too short.

I’m rescinding all that haha. After a last minute blessed second viewing in which I comprehended significantly more dialogue, sure some things were still lost in translation but I feel comfortable calling this an EXTREMELY RESPECTABLE EFFORT ⭐

If you’re one of the lucky few with a future ticket, stop here and don’t deprive yourself of the impact.

Moment 1: the curtain rises on a few Jets with Zun-chan at the center looking, to be perfectly accurate, FINE AS HELL. Breathtakingly so. Grown up and absolutely slaying.

Moment 2: they start to move, and the work of the imported Broadway choreographer is immediately evident. Sometimes you don’t realize you’ve been watching Very Takarazuka Choreography until you see the same girls dancing something else.

Moment 3: enter KikiBernardo, and all of my internal organs lurched upward a bit. If this is the beginning of Soragumi Kiki, be very afraid.

Makaze enters casually after the opening dance number, without the typical dramatic “enter PAUSE” that leaves room for everyone to applaud the top star. The more I dwell on it, the happier I am that our first taste of Top Star Makaze Suzuho is a soft role; I live for Makaze struggling to keep the sexface just under the lethal dose, but her softness is also so beautiful. Love at first sight so strong you don’t even care that this asshole killed your brother is pretty unbelievable, but Makaze had me buying in 100%. And the 50s street clothes look—t-shirt under a collared shirt tucked loosely into slightly awkward dad jeans with a thick belt and sneakers, topped with a bomber depending on the scene—is SO GOOD for her.

WSS is home run casting, for all the Soragumi members on this side of the split, but particularly for our pair of fresh top stars, and particularly at this stage. They have a lot of figuring each other out to do as a combi—specifically learning how to sing together—but this worked; they aced the naive and reckless Tony/Maria dynamic. Maria throughout is a flatter character than Madoka is capable of playing, but she took full advantage of the emotional final scene and was excruciating. The silences in between her words were deafening.

Every dance number is an absolute delight: the fights more dynamic than most of the actual stage combat I’ve seen Takarazuka attempt; Mambo with its rotating pair dances and KikiSora giving everyone a lesson in erotic chemistry; America with its cha cha ruffles and my kid leading a pack of fierce musumeyaku; Cool being just that, featuring a really relatable moment of Zun-chan pleading “chill out” and Moeko screaming anyway; I couldn’t pick a favorite if I wanted to. There are some GENUINELY SCARY and hella impressive bits too; first someone... Zun-chan? (it’s APPALLING that my feeble memory is the only place this show can live) ((EDIT: it was Junna Subaru)) does some crazy jump flip thing and everyone catches her. Later Kiki SCALES A REALASS CHAIN LINK FENCE by 1) jumping right up to mid-fence 2) climbing to the top 3) UPSIDE DOWN FLIPPING HERSELF OVER THE TOP and 4) landing like a wild cat, resulting in possibly the hottest single feat I’ve witnessed on a stage (shortly afterwards pretty much everyone in a gang, including the TOP STAR who must be protected at all costs, followed suit with the partially upside down fence scaling).

Our notable Jets: Zun-chan, in addition to upping her look enough to stop my heart, still has this delightful little brother vibe about her that made her the perfect Riff, while still showing impressive leadership abilities as essentially the head of the group while Tony is off being lovestruck dumb. Another favorite was EBI as Velma (Zun’s girl), for her adorable look, her ace dancing, and her PFF BITCH NO faces made at Zun’s attempts to order her around. Fuuma Kakeru is forever the literal best, and likewise picture perfect in the 50s street urchin uniform. Monchi needed more opportunity to use her voice but got to wear glasses. Moeko gave an impressive effort as hot-headed Action, especially considering difficult choreography is not really her thing. BABY TONAMI, fresh 103rd Yumeshiro Aya as Anybodys, went above and beyond ken-1 (I still think roles of pure spunk are the easiest to slay, but impressive nonetheless).

And our notable Sharks, working up to my Main Event: if you count lines said with your EYES, Sao might have had the biggest role in the whole show, along with absolutely perfect disgusting Grease hair (one stray lock on her forehead). She also made me cry at the end when she’s the only Shark to help carry Tony’s body. She outshone Riku (Chino) a bit, but much like Madoka, Riku also turned it up for the last scene, even with completely wordless acting.

Dark, sleazy, terrifying, devastatingly handsome Kiki. Her Bernardo made the show (objectively... I KNOW I HAVEN’T GOTTEN TO *HER* YET). Every face and every mannerism was calculated and perfect. Wiping her hand on her pants every time she had to touch a Jet... somehow manufacturing absolutely electrifying chemistry with Soragumi’s giggliest loser idiot otokoyaku as her lady partner despite being BRAND NEW; the way she like inhaled Sora, and put firm hands on her with her fingers spread wide, and grabbed big deep handfuls of her skirt... Maybe all of Sora’s reactions were just straight up real. Favorite moments: their proper kiss; when they hook up in the Mambo scene and Sora slides her hand inside Kiki’s jacket to touch more of her actual back; Kiki being macho and gross and yelling at Sora to come here and Sora repeatedly replying hell no you come HERE until Kiki gives up (also notable: their perfect height difference, despite Sora in heels and Kiki in flats).

And SoraAnita, who put my sorry ass in this freezing Airbnb writing up this devastating show at 4 in the goddamn morning, who was so so so so good. It’s hard to look past the tight-top floof-bottom dresses and the adorable heeled sandals and the legs and the scene where she’s primping cross-legged in a chair wearing sheer thigh highs with garters and black lingerie that doesn’t even cover her butt which I don’t *at all* remember being in the movie... BUT, she was just so good. She made no attempt to change her voice (even though I’m pretty sure she could have) and it worked; I’m sure she spent much of rehearsal a mess but she was a fiery hot match for Kiki; she nailed all the feminine mannerisms and the bits of otokoyaku left over weren’t awkward but perfect Anita sass; the way she worked that tulle-laden skirt, her DANCING in Mambo and America; the way she big sister’d Madoka; and her final scene where the Jets assault her in the drug store, when she made me fully cry. I would hate myself forever and ever and ever if I hadn’t seen this.

::Sigh:: It’s only a week but I kinda wish this had been my grand finale.

#takarazuka #reviews #west side story #ill conceived terror trip

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a-woman-apart · 5 years

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Effexor Withdrawal (My Experience)

A/N: As I previously stated, this post contains information about medicine, medicine dosages, and side effects. Discuss all your concerns with your primary care physician or psych doctor before you make any changes. Do not discontinue any medication without first consulting with your health care provider.

Trigger warning: Briefly mentioned vomiting

Oh, so you thought the story was over?

It wasn’t.

In one of my previous posts, Advocating for Myself as a Patient, I briefly detailed that abdominal cramping and gastrointestinal symptoms, along with a “tingling” in my head and other parts of my body had accompanied some of my medication changes. I thought that a little rest and taking the probiotics might solve the problem. I also had nausea, and psychiatrist #3 had said that the Hydroxyzine would help with the nausea.

It did, mildly, but my symptoms continued to get worse and be overwhelming. After doing a little digging, I discovered that my cornucopia of symptoms (nausea, diarrhea/loose stools, abdominal pain, sweating, chills, shaking, nervousness, dizziness, weakness, confusion, and paresthesia/tingling) could be attributed to the discontinuation of Effexor/Venlafaxine.

I was on Venlafaxine ER (Extended release) and was still on the starting dose of 37.5 mg. When I asked psychiatrist #3 if it was okay to eliminate that without tapering, she hand-waved it. “Oh yes, it’s just a small dose.” To be fair, though, there is no smaller dose of Venlafaxine ER to help patients with tapering, and you better believe that patients have complained to the drug companies who make it.

Anyway, I continued to be violently sick. It may sound strange, but the paresthesia, and “brain zaps” were one of the most distressing symptoms, and what sought me to do online research in the first place. Sufferers have begun referring to the tingling sensation in the head and parts of the body as “brain zaps” because it can be described as feeling like a small electric jolt or shock. It is disconcerting, because it can coincide with dizziness, weakness, and lack of coordination. Sometimes I would have to lean against other objects for support when a “brain zap” hit me.

I learned that I was not alone. I found out that most people who try to discontinue Effexor—even under doctor supervision— experience even worse side effects than I did. I discovered that like me, most patients are not warned about how powerful this drug is. I was never told that trying to come off even such a small dose would cause such a terrible case of discontinuation syndrome. Discontinuation syndrome is a process of withdrawal that can occur when patients try to come off SSRIs (Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors) or SNRIs (Serotonin and Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors). You can read this Harvard Health Article for more information. More importantly, scroll down and read the comments, where patients detail how antidepressant withdrawal ruined their health and their lives.

I must stress that it is important that this does not mean that you should not take an antidepressant. If your doctor prescribes something, they are usually taking into account that the benefits outweigh the risks. However, some antidepressants like Zoloft and Effexor have a very short half-life, which means they stay in your system for a shorter time than other drugs (such as Paxil). This quick elimination of the drug from your body upon stopping the drug can cause withdrawal. It certainly does not happen to everyone, but it is a risk that patients deserve to be informed about.

To make a long story short, I ended up in the ER for 6 hours on the day that I was supposed to return to work. This was after rushing to urgent care, where I was told that urgent care was not equipped to treat my symptoms. At the emergency room, they did an EKG and took blood samples, including a lithium level (this was just in case the increase in lithium was causing my symptoms). My heart, thyroid, and kidneys turned out to be fine, and the lithium level was perfect. The doctor prescribed two different medications: Bentyl for abdominal cramps and another drug for nausea.

When I go to fill out the prescription, I see that neither drug was covered by my insurance. The Bentyl was $46, but the nausea drug was going to be $85 for 12 pills. Haha, no. So even though I’ve already spent over a hundred dollars on medicine and medicine co-pays this month, I am desperate, so I pay $46 for the Bentyl.

So, in the meanwhile, I can’t go to work the next day either (got a doctor’s note) and I’m taking the Bentyl with meals as prescribed. At this point, I’ve developed food aversions. I can’t drink milk, I can’t eat anything with too much sugar, and I can’t eat certain raw fruits, vegetables, and proteins. I’m weak all day, and so I spend the day trying to relax. I binged the entire Aggretsuko on Netflix. I am worried that the Bentyl is making my nausea worse, so I wish I had that other drug now but, alas. I ended up throwing up after taking all my night meds. My stomach felt better at that point, but I was also worried that I threw up all the good stuff I needed to help with my mood.

I ate some soup—which I was able to keep down— and went to bed.

It finally becomes Wednesday—and time for another group— but I went to my clinic early so that I can see psychiatrist #3 before group time. When I get in to see her, she is harried (it’s quite busy) and visibly annoyed at me for coming in to see her again so soon. I explained my symptoms and that I felt that I was experiencing withdrawal from the Effexor/Venlafaxine removal. I asked her about a remedy that I had seen online, which was to introduce a single dose of Paxil to help with the withdrawal symptoms. Paxil leaves the body slowly, so introducing that single dose can alleviate symptoms and aid in the tapering off process.

She told me, “Your symptoms are caused by anxiety. You need to take the hydroxyzine, and that will help with the nausea (again I saw scant evidence of that). There’s no smaller dose of Venlafaxine for you to take. The only thing we maybe could’ve done was to have you take the medicine every other day, until you came off from it, but you’ve already been off it for over a week.”

She then cautioned me from getting back on the medication, and I assured her that I had no intentions of getting back on it. Finally, she said, “If your symptoms persist see your PCP.”

I was slightly annoyed that with the risk of discontinuation syndrome associated with this medication, that she wouldn’t have encouraged that slower tapering, just to be safe. I had considered doing that every other day thing for myself, too, but when she hand-waved the side effects I just did what she told me to do. Also, the apparent lack of knowledge about the withdrawal was concerning. From what I saw, about 20% of people experience discontinuation syndrome, but with millions of people suffering with depression, those numbers are significant. Doctors need to be much less careless with this, and if they do not know there should be better education provided. So many people get back on their antidepressants just because the “brain zaps” and other physical symptoms of withdrawal become too devastating.

Withdrawal can last anywhere from 1-3 weeks, but symptoms can persist for months and in rarer cases, even years. This is not a matter to be taken lightly. One of the worst things was just not being informed. I rushed from psychiatrist, to PCP, to ER, and back to my psychiatrist because no one could tell me what was wrong with me or fully help. I have missed hours of work time, lost hours of sleep, and will have spent $100s once this is over. More importantly, because hypochondria/health anxiety is part of my anxiety disorder, I have agonized over what might be wrong with me. The emotional and mental distress—especially because I am coming out of mixed mania that may or may not have been exacerbated by the Venlafaxine—have been almost unbearable. Yesterday, I just kept crying because I was so paranoid that I was going to be met with suspicion or disdain when I returned to the workplace, because I had just missed so much time and I am only a part-timer.

Even today, my symptoms are not fully alleviated. I have not been able to walk in the park in days, laundry is piling up because I didn’t make it out there this week, and I still have to be careful with food. I’ve tried soymilk as an alternative to dairy milk, but I still don’t know whether my stomach likes it or not. I think I threw up because of the Bentyl, but I also did have a lot of soymilk that day (I might have to take my chances because I am fiending for a bowl of cereal).

In summary, dealing with a mental illness can be exhausting and your physical health may also be compromised. Doctors often either cannot—or will not— put themselves in the shoes of their patients. You must advocate for yourself. I cannot stress that enough. It can be difficult and costly, especially when your insurance does not cover everything. Your life is worth it, though, and your health comes first.

Finally, for the love of all things holy and true, do not come off antidepressants like Zoloft and Effexor cold turkey. I’ve read nightmare stories about people coming off dosages as high as 225mg and then just trying to stop. Bad, bad, bad idea. If 37.5mg did this to me, then imagine what a higher dose could do. I have even heard of people experiencing terrible symptoms when it was doctor-sanctioned and their dose was cut in half (like going from 150mg to 75mg).

Please be careful, y’alll.

P.S. I am aware that hydroxyzine is an anti-histimine (like Benadry). It’s off-label use is to treat anxiety.

#effexor withdrawal #venlafaxine withdrawal #discontinuation syndrome #antidepressant withdrawal #risks of antidepressants #doctor negligence #hydroxyzine #mixed mania #anxiety #health anxiety

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kgysj-blog · 7 years

Text

day 3 - 4/27/17

dear depression, hiya again!! ill just get right into it for the day since im a little late doin my daily post haha okay so i had a cute outfit sat out for school today & i got up at 7:05 & the tardy bell rings at 7:30 so i just threw on the cute outfit & straightened my hair really really fast & i had no time to do my make up so i went to school without that shiz. during first period (english) we watched wuthering heights again & it was super good. idk i just have some weird thing for doomed love stories it's weird idek.. lol. then i went to second period (math) and we got our tests back & i made a frickin 99 bc i forgot to change the sign on one of the problems & it made me hellllllaaaaa mad ugh but its gucci. we went over some more problems but ford made them harder and challenging for the people that don't pay attention i guess bc they weren't hard for me or connor lmao. i was in a great ass mood and i got to break and i was walkin in and chezly was walkin out and this nigga picked me up and took my to a chair & sat me down then patted my head and I ab died hahahahah i love that dude. then i ate two pieces of pizza at break bc it's good as shit. then i went to third period (anatomy) and did this learnsmart thing & i was actually really surprised bc i knew a few of the answers without having to go back and read on it so that was good. i finished w half an hour to just chill so i played the beer pong game on my phone (which im good as frick at might i add). then i went to fourth (economics) and we had an open book test which im pretty sure i most likely failed l o l but it's fine im fine. after that ky was crackin me up the entire time idek why i was laughing like a dumbass the whole time hahahaha but brett kept telling me shit wasn't really funny & all that & he's usually not like that and it really annoyed me tbh. like i can laugh at whatever tf i want, take ya bitter ass and go on somewhere bih. everyone was just in a really good mood i loved it (other than Brett, lol) then i went and sat in bakers w the rest of my buddies and it was like every single thing was funny and i felt happy it was weird idek i was just happy and relaxed & laid back. Andy looked over to me & he was "seriously everyone is in a good mood today" and it made me happy bc i love it when my friends are happy. so anyway, i went to career tech & i made up this test from like 2 weeks ago & i made a 100 on that bit and it put me in a good ass mood. then we had this practice sheet & i was answering correctly left and right & it was just good. then i was walking to the bus & i looked at Ry & i was like "im just really happy right now like im in such a good mood and i have been all day" and she said it makes her happy to see other people happy & that made me happy/sad bc i don't think she is.. i don't like when other people have problems bc i have a ton & it really does suck. well when i got to the bus i had a text from my bud that im not supposed to be talking to. it was just a game request thing but... why are we still talking? i am supposed to be on like my fourth or fifth day without him.. i think he's scared of what ill do if we cut off contact completely idk. he's the one that came up with the idea but now he's the one texting me. i mean im not complaining bc i dont know how id feel or be doing if he wasn't talking to me but ya know im just really confused. we played a few games & he stopped replying which i understand but, like i said, im just v confused. i slept when i got home from like 5-8. it was nice bc no practice. but i actually have some feelings to talk ab now lmao here we go. i think i have an over thinking issue. i mean i know a lot of girls do but for some reason i feel like mine is super bad. i psycho analyze EVERYTHING. its honestly ridiculous. also, i heard this song on the country radio & it reminded me of summer & Peyt and it made me sad so i turned it off bc no sadness :) i just wish i didnt have problems and we could work one day :/ last week its like i had come to the conclusion that he was ready to be done which meant i had to be obviously & i was hella fucking depressed and cried every single day but it wasn't all bc of him. i just have those kinds of problems & for some reason i couldn't control myself last week it was strange. last week it's like i had come to terms w being done w him & then he texts me on friday and tells me we need to talk in person and clarify some things & all that. well i thought what he said ab us needing to distance ourselves meant we were done so i was confused on what else there was to say...? but anyway i was kinda looking forward to closure and all that in person. like finally getting to hear his thoughts face to face so he could get it all out and us be done and learn to move on. well he never texted me back about it and then at like 1 am Sunday morning he tells me we don't have to talk anymore? idk THE WHOLE THING IS A MESS. we talked and said we needed to not talk until i had bettered myself bc my cutting and all that scares the shit out of him (and all my friends) and that he feels he is part of the reason. it made me sick when i read that. i don't want him ever upset or scared or anything when he thinks of me... i felt really bad. but i was like okay ya know we are gonna have to learn to not have each other soon anyway so i guess starting now would be helpful. and i was completely on board. and now we've talked every single day. and its so confusing idek. I just know i still love him and for some mf reason i can't change it and its embarrassing bc i feel like we will never be the same or even be together again. idek i just needed to get it all out :) i have sectionals tomorrow and i am really freaking nervous like REALLY NERVOUS but i need to chill out and focus so i can get top 3. i guess that's all for tonight.. goodnight :) love, g

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