#ikemen vampire incorrect

[ikemensworld]

Dazai: A mosquito tried to bite me and I slapped it and killed it.

Dazai: And I started thinking.

Dazai: Like it was just trying to get food.

Dazai: What if I went to the fridge and it just slammed the door shut and snapped my neck.

Dazai: How would I feel?

MC: Are you okay?

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[ikevamp-twitter]

#his writing counts as art Right #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp twitter #incorrect tweets #incorrect ikevamp tweets #incorrect ikemen quotes #ikevamp dazai #ikemen vampire dazai #dazai osamu

[natimiles]

I need this to happen:

Arthur: *say something obvious* MC: no shit, Sherlock Arthur:

#just once #it would be funny as hell #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp #incorrect ikevamp #incorrect quotes

[worlds-smallestviolin]

Comte: So you've met Vlad.

MC: Yes.

Comte:...

MC:...

Comte: He's weirdly sexy, right?

MC: Oh my God. Thank you. I thought I was the only one.

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp le comte #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp incorrect quotes

[namine-somebodies-nobody]

[Monthly banquet]

Dazai: Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest, that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods, you're going to die.

Arthur: My favorite is explaining the difference between a booty call and a butt dial.

Shakespeare: It's called connotations.

Arthur: *nodding* How about this one...

Arthur: Forgive me, father, for I have sinned.

Arthur: *looks towards Comte, smirking* Sorry, Daddy, I've been naughty.

Comte: *sighs* All language has now been banned from the dinner table.

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[whatever-fanfics]

POV: you need help with your 21st century homework in a mansion full of vampires

~~~

Imagine MC needing sitting on the table, head in their hands, about to cry because NOTHING MAKES SENSE. And in come multiple people who look over MC's shoulder to what's making them so upset, they recognize some of it but not all of it. After pondering with each other they try asking some of the others. 10 minutes later 12 vampires surround the human trying to make sense of numerous subjects. Shakespeare was visiting.

~~~

Arthur & Theo *coming in from a night of drinking*: MC? Hondje? what's wrong

MC *on the verge of tears*: Nothing makes sense🥺😭

Arthur and Theo *walk over and see numerous papers from different subjects*: What is this?

MC: homework from the 21st century 🥺

Arthur *sits down and recognizes some of the works*: Interesting...

Theo *looks over and sees art history papers and papers about painting techniques*: ?!?

Isaac *enters and sees them*: ???

Isaac *walks over and sees calculus and math*: ?!?

Isaac *sits down and recognizes some equations*: I recognize some but not all of them, hold on

Isaac *leaves and comes back with Leonardo*: I brought help

Leonardo *looks over and recognizes problems*: You study this cara?

MC: not by choice 🥲

Napoleon *sleepily wanders over*: ???

Napoleon *sees typed words in French*: Nunuche how did you get your writing so neat?

MC: that's typed, it's my homework

Napoleon *confused, recognizes some but not all*: it's French homework?

MC: Yea... 🥲

Napoleon: hold on

Napoleon *leaves and comes back with le comte*: here

Le Comte *happy to be included*: 😁 homework?

MC: unfortunately 😓

Le comte *sits down*: I see the language has evolved again, this makes things a bit tricky, no matter *starts a whole lecture*

MC *look at the camera like their in The Office*: ...

*Mozart and Jean enter*

Mozart: why are you all so noisy

Mozart *comes over and notices music sheets*: what is this?

MC: homework

Mozart and Jean: Home..work???

Sebastian *appearing out of the void*: school work that you take home and return the next day completed

Literally everyone: where did you come from?

Jean *comes over and sees typed paper*: what is..this?

MC: typed up homework

Jean:...Witchcraft *takes out his sword*

MC: PLEASE NO, I DON'T HAVE ANYMORE COPIES 😭😭😭

*Dazai enters*

Dazai *sees everyone by MC and walks over*:

Dazai *sees his book*: what's this? Everyone: Homework

*Shakespeare enters*

Shakespeare: Good morrow, all 😊

Shakespeare *walks over and sees multiple works of his*: ???

Shakespeare: Good MC, I had no notion of your interest in me ☺️

MC and Theo: It's homework

Theo *puts down art history papers*: be right back

*Theo leaves and comes back with Vincent*

Vincent: MC I didn't know you were so interested in art ☺️😊

MC *didn't want to tell him it was for homework*: yeah...

*Sebastian taking notes furiously in his journal*

~~~

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[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

MC: There's no way he likes me back.

Charles: Dazai would throw himself in front of a moving car for you.

MC: Dazai would throw himself in front of a moving car for fun.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp mc #ikevamp charles #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp incorrect quotes #okay like i feel terrible about this one but at the same time the way i WHEEZED #dazai ilysm and you dont deserve to be dragged like this but somebody's gotta do it #IM TAKING THE L #also hate that my other thought was: charles. charles why are you being so specific. #charles are you getting little gremlin ideas. CHARLES-- #i gotta hand it to him i was always stuck between being like #charles just bc ur master is a homicidal maniac does not mean murder is the answer to being with mc #charles: but are you sure #me: CHARLES. #charles: :3c #me: #me: he makes a very convincing argument-- #like do i approve? no #but you gotta appreciate his commitment to the bit #baby man appears what crimes will he commit

[luciferslostsock]

My crush in 2020 and 2023🤭

My crush in 2018💀

This is what happens when you let your child have unrestriced access to the internet.. they fall in love with Vampires and Demons💀💀

#obey me #obey me crack #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me incorrect quotes #obey me angst #incorrect ikemen quotes #ikemen series #ikemen vampire #wtf is wrong with my brain #im very normal #like pls

[onegianthotmess]

Arthur: Admit it~

Theo: No because you’re wrong! I don’t use sappy pet names, period!

Vincent: Theo, I’m making tea. What would you like in yours?

Theo: Honey, please.

Jane: Yes, love of my life? Do you need something?

Theo: *exposed*

Arthur: HAH! I KNEW IT! DAZAI, YOU BETTER COUGH UP BECAUSE I JUST WON THE DAMN BET!

Vincent: *proud of himself*

Jane: *tugs on Theo’s sleeve* Dearest? Are you alright?

#theo got set up #ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp arthot #ikevamp vincnet #ikevamp theo #ikevamp jane

[cow-goes-moozart]

Comte: I got you a present, bro

Leonardo: Bro these are some expensive shoes

Comte: [reveals matching shoes]

Comte: now we're SOLEmates

Leonardo: *voice cracks* Bro.....

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikevamp incorrect quotes #ikevamp comte de saint germain #ikemen vampire comte #ikevamp comte #ikemen vampire leonardo #ikevamp leonardo

[ikevamp-twitter]

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[natimiles]

Isaac: *stuterring and blushing like crazy, but trying to flirt* I-I like your clothes... MC: Thanks! You should see how good they look on my bedroom floor. Isaac: *dies again*

#would like to do that at least once #and see him trying to look me in the eye ever again #and then kiss his whole cute face #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp mc #ikemen vampire #incorrect ikevamp #ikevamp quotes #incorrect ikevamp quotes #ikevamp #ikevamp isaac x mc

[worlds-smallestviolin]

MC is feeling depressed:

Napoleon: Have you tried sleeping it off?

Mozart: Uh, can you do that someplace else?

Leonardo: *follows MC everywhere* Have you cheered up yet?

Arthur: Well, you know what always helps me? 😏✊️👈💢🤕

Theo: Walk it off.

Vincent: *saw MC being sad* *got sad himself* *MC ended up comforting him*

Isaac: I don't know what you want me to do. Here's an apple.

Dazai: You should go to the beach. It won't cure your depression, but it will make it tropical.

Jean: Try holy water.

Sebastian: *flicks her forehead* * ineffective* I can't help you.

Shakespeare: So... How about you play a main part in my next play?

Comte: Get in, loser! We're going shopping!

Charles: Well, you know what always he... 💢🤕 MC: I am not having sex with you.

Faust: I have a perfect solution. Try these mushrooms 🍄 😈

Vlad: Oh, you just miss your grandma? Well, here. *vampire grandma enters the room*

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[namine-somebodies-nobody]

MC: The floor is lava!

Vincent: *helps MC onto the counter*

Theo: *kicks Arthur off the sofa*

Arthur: *lays on the floor*

MC: ...Are you okay?

Arthur: No.

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[daisiesandshakes]

Comte, smiling cheerful: I got Netflix for you like you asked!

MC: Thank you so much Comte! I’ve been using Sebastian's account for months, so this will be awesome.

Comte: Wait- what do you mean .. account?

MC: His Netflix account.

Comte:

MC: Like.. his profile? I wanted an account of my own, they’re about $8.

Comte:

Comte: Ooooh… You wanted .. an account on the service..

MC: Yes! What did you think- wait.. what did you buy??

Comte:

Comte: .. Netflix.

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[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

Leonardo: Dinosaurs aren't extinct. I mean, le Comte is walking in this room.

MC: *wheeze*

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp leo #ikevamp comte #ikevamp saint germain #ikevamp mc #back at it again with the pureblood on pureblood violence #truly these jokes never age a day (at least for me) #you see what i did there #although i think the funniest thing about this one is that comte would be so 'ha h a leonardo very funny >:/' #and then he's just drinking in the parlor room asking sebas is he's too old and boring for mc #and sebas naturally interested in stirring the pot is like #'idk if you ask me you don't look a day over 300' #needless to say the man needed pats from mc afterwards #man im dying all i imagine is comte just 'no talk me i'm angy' in a corner of the balcony #lowkey want to write this now--i might in fact #unauthorized bullying of comte will not be tolerated (unless i find it hilarious like i do in this case) #also funny because leonardo isnt much younger--not that that would ever stop him #ikevamp incorrect quotes