#ik i said 2 earlier but i was wrong lol

[mangosimoothie]

ik u said to ignore it but i cant ignore it because im a natural snoop and i fucking love reading tags. its where people show their colors and i think everyone has a rainbow inside them. which prompts me to say that u dont have to answer this. hell, u can ignore this.

anyway, maybe its coz im using tumblr wrong. i literally only come here to grab some *feels* (good and bad) at the popular reblogs and then occasionally join in the simblr "oooh" and "gaaah!!" eras that i feel like im missing out on what u call the Back in the Day tumblr era. tumblr was advertised to me as a blogging site so like lmfao.

maybe its also because of the power of the anon feature that i can actually make myself be able to enter ur ask box without feeling too shy or scared that im here to comment on ur post. is it because we're far too scared to interact beyond the comments or is it because drama (not sure if theres a better word for it, controversy maybe?) has scarred us and being able to comment on things without the anon feature kind of scares us all now?

regarding simblr drama posts that blow up, u could probably also contribute it to bandwagon, right? like obv, its not the only reason it blows up but bandwagon helps. its far too easy to join in the opinion that everyone agrees on and parrot it around. like idk if im making sense but isnt it kinda easier to "not have an opinion" but rb that other person's opinion/fact that the rest of the community has deemed correct or right as if its your own (ok maybe this sentence sounds bad and i could probably phrase it as "i have an opinion about it but this other person has worded it so perfectly that i will rb this instead". anyway i'll leave it in coz the previous one could be true to some people). not that its bad, im honestly glad most of us agree on smth, it just sometimes loses that sense of discussion u probably meant if we're all just parroting everything.

i mean, i've seen it happen. especially during certain major events here where my dash was full of the same post being reblogged by myself and a couple others with no additional ideas (even tags sometimes, like i said i love tags i think tags hold a lot of unspoken but spoken ideas if u get it).

i had a point here somewhere. anyway what i meant to say was, i think i have similar feelings with u regarding discussions (lmfao look at this long post). but im far too scared to get out of anon to actually have it with u or anyone else in simblr.

have a good day/night tho :"D

Hahah no thank you for snooping on my tags 😅 what I meant to say is, I notice that most engagement happens through likes instead of comments, which is just really frustrating because yeah, I am used to tumblr being more of a forum so likes feel very empty to me. Unless it’s “”drama”” then yeah like you said, people are more inclined to comment. Like my first post that blew up was literally just “not someone charging $3 for sims nipples” or st like that which was really funny but also a little sad bc I would’ve loved to engage like that on posts I actually cared about and that weren’t just me being cheeky lol. That said, I understand what you mean about feeling too shy. I asked about this earlier - why ask questions on anon if they’re not mean - and for most people yeah, it boiled down to being shy or not wanting to seem over eager. But I LOVE when people are eager about my nonsense, I LOVE when people ramble like this in tags or comments or my inbox about my story/sims. That is the sole thing that’s kept me active here tbh - the couple people who comment and send me asks instead of just throwing a like here and there. I’ve been told many times that engagement on simblr is a lot lower than it used to be which is a little discouraging. I’ll look at my friends with large blogs and even though their stories get 100s of likes there’s still only 2-5 comments! I’d be pulling my hair out!! Maybe it’s a pet peeve that’s kinda specific to me lol but it does bother me sometimes especially when I put a q like hey tell me what you thought about x or whatever the case may be. Like even going so far as to be like “instead of a like tell me about x :) “ and that still not working. I guess that’s just not the way people engage on tumblr anymore :/ 🤷🏾‍♀️

[croissantbae]

12/28/22

1.  I’m afraid of sleeping.  I’ve had a string of sleepless nights and lately my insomnia seems to be back.  The entire night I go in and out of sleep.  I’ll feel awake the entire night but then I’ll realize I must have slept at some point because the awake I feel now feels diff than the awake I felt earlier.  And so it goes on throughotu the night, being awake and asleep, awake and asleep.  

Two days ago I woke up and I couldn’t move my neck.  It was insane how much it hurt.  It was honestly shocking.  I was also starting to get sick so my throat hurt, my head felt congested, and I had a cold sore. It all hit me with a bam. When I slept the following night, I rolled up a towel to use that as a pillow cause I saw that it’s good to use a low pillow so that your spin is flat but the towel was so hard.  and at one point naya tried to share my towel pillow with me.  I was so annoyed. I yelled at her.  I was like naya stop! then she started crying.  I dont even know wht time that was but must have been like 2 am.  

all to say, im scared of the nights.  because now im ike what other horrible ailment could I wake up with?  how many sleepless nights can I have? 

jason has been such a champ while i’ve been hurt though.  took the girls on his own to ikea and all.

2.  singles inferno is outrageously fun this season. 

3.  Jennette Mcurdy’s I’m Glad My Mom Died is such an interesting read. I really wonder who didn’t want her to direct an episode.  I feel like it was ariana grande lol. 

4. the girls are so incredibly cute.  yes they’re difficult and crazy too but I feel so lucky that they’re my kids.  naya is so classically good / rule abiding.  today I found her throwing away candy from her backpack. she said “this candy is old, right?” and just kept proceeding to throw them away even though they really weren’t old (its just something we tell her sometimes so she doesn’t eat it).  I was like wow, this kid is so by the book. like she might be a psychopath lol. just kidding of course.  but I do feel like we should focus her self-discipline in some way.  it’s sad cause she’ can be so mean to dani sometimes.  like one time dani was caressing naya’s hair and naya would scream “DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME!”  but anyway naya is such a sweetie otherwise lol.  

dani can do no wrong to me.  she’s terrible and throws more tantrums and is resisting naps but I just find everything she does to be so funny and cute.  the way she talks, her singing, the jokes she makes, her smile, everyhing.  adorable.  

[eunoiaflow3r]

the two of us - peter parker x reader

a/n: haven’t written in like a year. (i love gwen but she doesn’t exist in this lol)

warning(s): language, smut haha, not proofread so there will be mistakes.

word count: 2.9k

request(ed): no

summary: jealous peter lol..

<3 

————————————————————————————

you were on facetime with your friend when you bumped into him. you had just gotten a cup of coffee and you were on your way home. six dollars wasted because of who you bumped into him and now your coffee was on the ground and on the mans coat.

“god! i’m so sorry!”

you looked up and were met with bright blue eyes and a charming smile.

“it’s alright,” he went to wipe himself down with napkins you had offered from your bag, “was an accident, it’s okay.”

you checked your phone and your friend had hung up. you felt really bad and when you looked back up at the man he was smiling down at you. he was cute.

“name’s cole, yours?”

“y/n. nice to meet you.” you shook his hand.

“let me buy you a new coffee sometime?”

you nodded and you gave him your number. you were giddy on your walk home. when you got there peter was asleep on the couch and some random show was playing on the tv. he looked exhausted and you felt bad. he was usually gone all night, and comes back incredibly tired. you’re not sure why.

you placed a blanket over him and walked to your room.

after high school you and peter decided to get an apartment together to save money. so you were roommates. yeah. except you've had feelings for him since like junior year. but it’s fine. it’s fine.

plus, you could easily ignore your feelings...sometimes. sometimes it was easy to just forget about how you felt and get over him sort of..but other times all you want to do is hold him a way a friend shouldn’t want to, and kiss him like all you know is each other.

but you can’t. but it’s fine. cause you have a date with mr. blue eyes cole.

you’ve never really had time for relationships. never really had time to meet anyone. you’ve had a few hookups but nothing really serious. you want the serious though. the want only each other type thing. the i love you type thing. cause you’ve never had that.

apparently you had fallen asleep cause you woke up an hour later to your door being opened by peter. his head was peaking through and his eyes were wide cause he realized he had woken you up. 

“y/n..i’m sorry.” he says voice soft.

“s’okay pete.”

he makes his way into your room and crawls into the bed. your lights were dim so you couldn't really see his face before he buried himself into the pillow beside you. his hair was floppy and smelled nice. his arm found its way across your body and you could feel his warmth. actions like these made you want to just crawl closer and forget the just friends label..but you couldn’t...so you deflect.

he was your best friend before anything else.

“guess what?” you ask, quietly.

“hmm, what?”

“i met a guy today.”

you reach for your phone and check to see if he texted you.

unknown number

hey! it’s cole. ik its soon, but i really wanna see you. are you free around six for coffee?

Shit. It was 5:45 and he texted that around 2. you texted back nd shot out of bed hoping it wasn’t too late. 

“a guy?” peter had asked. when you shot out of bed he looked up at you worried. “what’s wrong?”

“he texted me and i didn’t see!” 

peter frowned but you didn’t see because you were too busy checking yourself in the mirror. trying to rid yourself of bedhead.

“uh, who’s the guy?”

“his name is cole. i accidentally spilled coffee on him earlier.”

you checked your phone and he said six was still good. you felt relieved...and excited. you haven’t been on a date in a while. you checked your closet and found your good jeans and a sweater. you asked peter to turn the other direction so you could change. he sighed and did as you asked.

“what do you know about him? what if he’s a serial killer or something?”

you rolled your eyes. “doubt it. i’m gonna get to know him. nothing special. we’ll see what happens.”

“yeah we’ll see.” peter mumbles.

he turns back around when you tell him it’s okay. you’re applying lip gloss and you ask him if you look okay.

he looks you up and down in a way that you wish didn’t turn you on and he grabs your pillow and pushes it against his face. “you look great y/n.”

“what’s wrong?” you ask.

“just tired flour. hope you have fun tonight.” that was his nickname for you..you had come to school with flour in your hair..it’s a long story.

“thank you. see you later tonight?” you ask.

he nodded and got comfortable under your covers. he tells you your bed is more comfortable than his so he sleeps in yours sometimes, yet both of your beds were the same brand and size.

“laters peter.”

“laters flour.”

laters was something you guys stole from fifty shades of grey. a movie the two of you probably shouldn’t have watched together becuase during and after you had never wanted peter more. you couldn’t help but think about what it’d feel like to be bent over the couch and fucked into. it didn’t help that peter had had his arm across your shoulders and was lightly trailing his fingers over your arm and neck.

your date with cole went great. he was nice and charming and everything you expected him to be. he was smooth and cute but every time you stared into his pretty blue eyes you couldn’t help but wish they were peter’s beautiful brown ones.

it was nice though. and at the end of the impromptu dinner he kissed you goodnight and he promised you drinks tomorrow.

when you got home, the house was straightened up and peter was in the kitchen washing dishes. he was humming to some song playing from the bluetooth.

“hey.” you said entering the kitchen.

“hey, how’d it go?”

“it went great. we had dinner and we’re going out for drinks tomorrow.”

“is that so?” 

“yeah..” 

peter was silent. you could tell there was a mood shift and you weren’t sure why. either way, you weren’t sure what to say so you went to your bedroom to get ready for bed. you thought about cole. you guys had clicked really well. he made you laugh, and he was sweet. you could really imagine something there with him. of course you wanted peter, but you had to move on, right? cause it’s better to have him as a friend than to not have him at all. and you had to put yourself first.

after you got dressed peter told you he had to go and he would be back.

he often did that.

“laters!” and he was out the door.

you went to bed confused and sleepy from a full day. luckily you had done your homework for class this morning. you woke to peter freshly showered and arm wrapped around you.

“mm hi.”

“hi.”

“are you okay?” you ask.

“mmm, yeah i’m great.”

peter wasn’t great though. cause as soon as you mentioned this cole guy something in him went haywire. you were a beautiful girl so he knew he wouldn’t be the only guy in your life...but he liked the you and him. he liked it a lot. he liked you. he’s liked you for a long time. in a way that he shouldn’t.

in a way that could jeopardize everything.

so he buries himself in work.

buries himself in spider-man.

the longer hes out there, the more time he can spend forgetting about you. your smile, your hair, your laugh...he can ignore the fact that you wouldn’t work for the simple reason that it’s unsafe. him not crossing that line could possibly be the very reason you’re alive. even living with you was risky.

but he can’t himself. perhaps he’s selfish. 

so when you brought up this cole guy something in him flipped. he shouldn’t have been surprised but he couldn’t help but want you all to himself.

when he woke up in the morning it was well past two pm and you were in the bathroom brushing your teeth. he noticed that you had already showered and gotten dressed for the day. you were way more responsible than him.

“morning.” he says as he passes you on his way to the kitchen to make some coffee.

“morning sleepyhead.” you laugh after rinsing your mouth out.

he noticed you grabbing your coat and bag and a bag of snacks from the counter.

“i have class. will be back around five probably?”

peter nods and hugs you goodbye, “laters.”

“laters.”

peter didn’t have class today but he thought it’d be a good idea to take some pictures and sell them, he didn’t have anything better to do and he definitely needed the money. 

on his stroll around new york his thoughts were filled with you. he was jealous. he wanted to be with you. buying you drinks, buying you coffee, doing everything with you. he wanted to love you like a boyfriend would. cause he did love you. 

he definitely loved you.

and you wanted someone else.

of course there were other chances but there was still the spider-man problem. he was starting not to care though. cause he wanted you. he needed you. and if this cole guy has proved anything it’s that he can’t live without you.

when peter got home you were already there and getting ready for your date with..cole.

your hair was straightened, you’re earrings shined, and your dress was...tight. the very definition of little black dress. and you looked amazing. you looked...so damn hot. and beautiful. and he wanted the dress off. preferably on the ground around your ankles while he fucks you.

but he coudn’t think like that.

“hey peter, how was your day?”

“it was good..you?”

“yeah it was fine. lecture was long.”

“mmm,” peter mumbled. “getting ready for cole?”

you laughed. “uh yeah..i should be leaving in like...” you check your phone. “now.”

“what else happened on your date yesterday?” he asks, curious, and quickly, considering you were heading out the door. 

you hum, avoiding his eyes. “uhmmm, just coffee at first...then we got sandwiches...and he kissed me goodnight.”

“oh!” peter exclaimed. “and how was it?” 

peter sounded like he was just curious, but inside he was damn near seething. 

“it was good.” truth was, you wished it was peter who had kissed you goodnight.

peter watched as you grabbed your jacket and your bag to get ready to leave. you go in for hug goodbye and he hugs you back. when you go to pull away he pulls you back in with his hand on the side of your face, his thumb on your cheek and his fingers on your neck. before you could even say anything, his lips crashed down onto yours. his lips were soft and when he wanted to deepen the kiss you let him.

your hands somehow found the sides of his neck and you kissed him like you were lovers separated. it was passionate, and desperate...its like he was trying to tell you something with a kiss...until he pulled and backed away.

he didn’t look you in your eyes.

“think about that on your date, alright?”

and he left. went to his room and closed the door without another word.

you were stunned. you didn’t know what to do. what did that kiss mean? does he actually like you? well he has to to kiss you like that...you touched your lips in shock. you can’t believe that just happened. 

you grab your keys and head out the apartment door. you couldn’t just leave cole hanging...right? but cole’s not who you wanted...

so you turn around, and swing the apartment door right back open. to your surprise peter was right there looking as if he was about to chase right after you. 

he was coming for you?

you grab his face and pull him down to kiss you...hard. he kisses you back just as hard and makes a move to take your jacket off. 

“y/n, baby, i need you.” he pulls away and looks you in your eyes. “tell me you need me too.”

you nodded quickly but peter pulled away. “use your words y/n.”

you nearly moan. “yes, peter, i need you.”

at that, peter groans and picks you up so that your legs were wrapped around him. his hands found your ass and his lips were on yours as he carried you to your bedroom.

he laid you on your bed and started kissing you on your neck. you moaned and pulled at his shirt. you wanted him...bad. 

he took the hint and threw it off. 

you took yours off too.

“fuck, y/n you’re so beautiful.”

he nips at your neck and moves to take your bra off. as soon as it’s off ha grabs both of your breasts in his hands and kisses the space in between them. he takes on nipple in his mouth and sucks, when he’s done, he does the same with the other. after, he puts his hands back to still gently squeeze your breasts while he brings his head down so he was trailing wet slow kisses down your stomach. by the time he got to the waistband of your pants you were impatient.

“please, peter, please.”

“please what y/n? use your words.”

“take them off, peter..”

“mmm..” peter moves his hands down and squeezes your thighs. he kisses you through your leggings and you moan and move up. 

“fuck, please.”

he was teasing you too much.

he slowly took your leggings off but kept your panties on. he was moving so slow...

“a thong y/n?” he says lowly. “were you planning on getting fucked tonight, huh? were you gonna let cole fuck you?”

you didn’t say anything. 

“mmm okay.” he says.

he puts himself in a position so that he was on his knees with his legs open and your legs were spread, going across his thighs. his fingers trail from your bellybutton to just over your clit and then down some.

“you’re so wet...for me or for cole hmm?”

“for you peter, fuck please do something.”

“for me? hmm..”

he pulls your panties down and off. you make a move to close your legs but he won’t let you. his fingers go to see how wet you are while his thumb goes to lightly rub your clit. you moan and move against him, trying to urge him to do more.

he backs up so that he’s on his stomach and his face is about an inch away from your pussy. 

with no warning he starts on your clit...you moan loudly and he goes faster. sooner or later he adds a finger..he goes in slowly.

“peter oh my god.” you arch your back a bit.

he starts a slow rhythm but you beg him to go faster. he does, but you want more. you want so much more.

“peter..”

“hmm?” he was lost in you...

“i need you to fuck me.”

he stops and kisses your clit.

“you want me to fuck you?” 

you nod quickly.

he takes off his pants and rubs himself through his boxers before he takes those off too. he was so big..

you got up wanting to touch but he shakes his head.

“but i wanna..”

“’s okay baby. want you to feel me.”

you lay back down and he hovers over you and kisses you. his lips find your neck again and he moans...he keeps sucking and you know it’ll leave a mark. he reaches over to your bedside table and fishes out a condom. he opens it, rolls it on, and lines it up with your entrance. you moan in anticipation and he buries his face in your neck.

he pushes himself inside and you both moan out. 

your hands land on his back as he starts moving inside you. he’s kissing at your neck and you’re telling him to go faster. he does, and you moan. 

“you feel so good fuck y/n.”

he trails his hand down your body and starts rubbing your clit as he fucks you faster. 

you moan as you feel yourself about to come. he feels it too and rubs faster.

“you gonna come for me?” peter moans. 

“yes, yes, peter fuck god.”

“come for me baby. wanna feel you come undone for me.”

and you do. seconds later you’re squeezing your eyes shut and seeing stars as you come. you can barely breathe as peter exclaims that he’s gonna come too.

he pulls out before me does and moans. he leans down and kisses you long and hard before going to pull the condom off and tie it to throw it away.

after he’s cleaned himself he puts his boxers on and hands you his shirt. you put it on along with your panties.

he slides into bed and cuddles up behind you. you don’t know how but all of a sudden you saw a string go out to the other side of the room to get a water bottle and then back to peter’s hand.

you turn around and sit up shocked.

“what the fuck peter how -”

“i’m spiderman.” he says quickly and gets up so that his face was right in front of yours. “and i’m also in love with you.”

before you could ask any questions his soft lips were on yours.

__________

corny ending bro im so sorry.

pls lmk if you liked it :)

#peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #andrew garfiel x reader #andrew garfield #smut #mcu #tasm peter x reader #tasm peter parker smut #no way home #peter parker x reader smut

[ahtsumu]

vignettes from a simple and good life ; miya osamu

pairing: miya osamu x f!reader

synopsis: a year in review.

tag(s): fluff ; warning(s): profanity, suggestive themes, kinda bad but i tried LOL ; wc: 1.3k

a/n: happy birthday to @bbytetsu​ ​! ik i said i wouldn’t write anything but i’m a woman of my own word. also sorry this isn’t geto LOL. anyway this is kinda different from anything i’ve ever done but i hope you like it! love u

1.

he walks past you and suddenly the world’s aflame.

“um,” you stutter, turning around with wide eyes. “excuse me?”

cool grey irises hold your gaze expectantly.

he’s gorgeous.

“i–” you falter. there’s no way you can describe the feeling that made you turn around. the gravitational pull that sometimes occurs between strangers. perhaps the clever tugging of two red strings. separate melodies that converge at whim on a concord. it’s all so abstract, but that’s what you’re good at.

to your surprise, he just smiles. “same.”

2.

learning miya osamu is like learning to whistle: either you get it or you don’t.

you get it.

you get that he’s not at all the serious, stony-faced man he makes himself out as. that he’s hot-headed and petty but doesn’t want to be. that just because he’s not laughing doesn’t mean he’s not amused.

miya osamu is the dead of night and all the mischief that happens during it.

3.

seven a.m. is too early. osamu isn’t sure how he used to get up even earlier for morning practice, but then he remembers that that was when he loved volleyball. either way, it’s seven a.m. and for some god-forsaken reason, miya osamu is going on a hike.

(god-forsaken is a bit dramatic. it’s not all that bad – he’s just grumpy in the morning. actually, to think of it, it’s not bad at all…)

“one cappuccino," he tells the barista. and then his eyes widen. smiling, he adds, “and a matcha latte, please.”

4.

it dawns upon you in the passenger seat of his car.

“what?” he asks, feeling your eyes on him as he drives.

“… nothing.”

“tell me,” he laughs, squeezing your hand with his free one.

“later,” you promise, feeling giddy with realization.

osamu hums, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

5.

the light from his laptop illuminates osamu’s darkened bedroom, bathing both of you in a subtle blue glow. osamu looks down at your body tucked into his side and smiles. he whispers your name. “are you awake?”

there’s no reply – just the steady stream of your shallow breaths.

maybe you hadn’t meant to fall asleep in the middle of your movie night but now that you have, osamu doesn’t have the heart to wake you. it’s late, it’s still a little cold outside at night, and it’s not like you’re busy tomorrow morning…

and maybe he doesn’t want you to go. carefully, osamu shifts around to make you both comfortable, slings an arm over your waist, and closes his eyes.

you wake up to the smell of breakfast and the swingy tune of twenties jazz.

6.

how do you know it’s love?

you tell him that he feels like a soft blanket and a rollercoaster ride at the same time.

he laughs and grabs your hand, placing it on his chest right where his heart is.

“that’s how i know,” he says.

7.

when you step into his apartment, the first thing you notice is the mouthwatering scent floating out of the kitchen.

“babe?” you call out.

a muffled “kitchen!” reaches your ears.

the kitchen’s a mess of ingredients. and in the middle of the mess is your boyfriend. lo and behold, miya osamu is yet again experimenting with new recipes for onigiri miya, mixing potential fillings in a large metal bowl, wearing the “kiss the chef” apron you bought him a while back. he takes a bite of the stuff on his spoon and looks up at the ceiling in thought. not a single muscle in his face twitches, probably because he isn’t sure what to think of it.

you clear your throat. “hey, you.”

smiling, osamu spins around. “hi, angel. can you taste this and tell me whatcha think?” he spoons out some more of the mixture in the bowl, holding it out for you to try.

“sure,” you say, and you ignore the spoon, pressing your lips to osamu’s for a kiss instead. when you pull away, you lick your lips and hum. “needs more salt.”

the grin on his face is absolutely charmed. “i thought so, too.”

8.

what most people get wrong about miya osamu is that he doesn’t talk much.

he does.

(“and i told her she had the wrong place, but that woman just wouldn’t leave,” he complains, pacing around your living room with so much force that you think you might have to check on the rug once he’s gone. “held up the entire line, too. so embarrassin’. and then she said she’d leave us a one-star review, which is ridiculous because it’s not like i could make her a burrito, right? jesus. so i told her to go fu–”

“babe,” you laugh, pulling him gently towards the sofa.

osamu sits down beside you and inhales deeply. “so i tell her to go fuck herself–” he pauses when your hand runs through his jet black hair. seconds later, you feel his firm body melt against your arms.

“well, go on,” you say with a giggle. “what happened after?”)

osamu just doesn’t talk to most people.

9.

and when he isn’t talking, he’s thinking.

“i saw something funny earlier. if you were a tortured poet,” you ask on the walk home, “what would be the cringey quote people know you for?”

osamu raises his brows and looks up at the sky. “hmm,” he says, grinning. the two of you continue walking as he mulls over your question. a few minutes later, he says, “take not my silence for a lack of thought. i am always thinking. i am haunted by the magnitude of thoughts i can never put to spoken word.”

you stop in your tracks. “that was actually good,” you say in disbelief. “what the hell? ‘magnitude’? seriously?”

he shrugs and slings an arm over your shoulder. “i’ve been readin’ lately. forbes said somethin’ about good leaders readin’ books’.”

“are you actually haunted, though? ‘cause you can always tal–”

“no,” osamu laughs. “i like my thoughts. and if i really like ‘em, i just say ‘em. it’s a simple and good life.”

10.

“you’re beautiful,” he breathes, pressing kisses up your neck.

the air’s thick with tension and want and he needs to be closer – he needs every inch of your bare skin touching his and even then that wouldn’t be close enough.

but it’d be a great place to start.

“god, you’re so beautiful.”

11.

when he steps into your bedroom, you don't even notice.

“hey,” osamu says, knocking on the door.

jumping in your seat, you whip your head around to face the intruder. “you scared me,” you sigh.

“i texted you this morning and it’s almost midnight now,” he says, frowning. “had me worried.” osamu walks to your desk and observes your work over your shoulder.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, tilting your head back against his chest. “this is due soon and i lost track of time. i’ve been at this since midnight last night.”

osamu’s frown deepens. “what?” he spins you around in your chair and studies your face with disbelief. but seeing the bags under your eyes and frazzled hair, he suddenly completely believes you. of course you’d procrastinate for days and then work yourself to the bone.

his firm hands find your shoulders and squeeze. “take a break.”

“‘samu–”

“or at least let me give you a little massage.”

12.

“when i stopped you in the street,” you say, “what was going through your mind?”

osamu laughs, the light sound melting into the mellow atmosphere of the restaurant. “nothing. absolutely nothing.”

“how romantic.”

“for the first time in my life,” he says, grey eyes twinkling, “my head went silent.”

he raises his glass of wine and takes a sip.

#miya osamu #miya osamu x reader #miya osamu scenarios #osamu x reader #miya osamu fluff

[intoomanyfandomstocount]

Bro there’s something so precious about Malleus and Yuu’s friendship that I think I can finally put into words now. (And it’s not just me projecting I swear hear me out.)

Almost every single interaction Yuu/Mc has with Malleus, has been when Yuu was vulnerable in some way. (At the time I’m writing this, episode 5 has been out for a while.) ep 5 spoilers!! (And the other chapters lol)

So their first meeting. In episode 2. Yuu just spent the day searching for the culprit behind the injuries to no avail. Not only that, they and their buddies got their asses handed to them I. Magift. They take a breather outside, feeling tired from the long day. They’re even pondering about whether or not they’ll be getting home. (It’s one of the dialogue options.)

And then boom, Malleus appears. He doesn’t do anything Expect be like, “crap my abandoned building’s no longer abandoned :(” but he does manage to distract Yuu from their thoughts, albeit unintentionally. Still, it was a strange encounter, which leaves Yuu curious for more.

Despite Ramshackle dorm technically no longer being abandoned, Malleus still visits it again in episode 3. Here, Yuu is even more vulnerable. They are completely alone, worried that they might become homeless because of their deal with Azul. Malleus appears. Yuu calls him by his strange nickname and Malleus laughs. Never expecting anyone to call him that. He asks Yuu what’s wrong. Yuu explains and he listens.

Malleus is worried, although I feel at this point is mainly more because he likes his abandoned buildings. He talks about gargoyles with Yuu. He originally didn’t have any other intentions other than he just liked talking about them. However, once again he managed to distract Yuu from falling to deep into their negative thoughts and unintentionally gave them advice.

After they get the dorm back, Yuu thanks Malleus for the advice, and Malleus is surprised because he never intended it to be advice. He’s surprised this little human managed to outsmart Azul, and is also surprised that he was helpful to them. I think this was the moment that Malleus started to see Yuu as his friend.

At the end of episode 4, he gives us a holiday card. Yuu isn’t vulnerable in this situation, however this was the only gift that they received over the holidays. (Unless you count crowleys feast). He signed the card M.D. He wants to get closer to Yuu, little by little. A part of him probably likes the secrecy of someone not even knowing who his true identity is. But he also wants to be closer with them.

And then episode 5, some of the best malleus x Yuu content we have rn. First off, again with the Malleus appears right when Yuu is about to spiral into negative/confusing thoughts. Before, Yuu was in their room, thinking about Mickey and the mirror. Maybe not negative, but certainly vulnerable to me. They look out the window and see small green lights that looks like fireflies. And they know. They simply know who it is and their first reaction is to go outside to see him.

At this point, Yuu and Malleus see each other as friends. Their presence is enough to cheer the other up (ik its hard to know yuus emotions but do you go out to see someone you hate in the cold of night? No) Malleus smiles when he sees Yuu. Yuu then gives Malleus the VDC ticket and asks if he would go with them.

This moment is huge. Mainly for Malleus. Yuu is one of the very few, if not only people who don’t treat him any different because of his title as prince. And even so, they’re probably the only person Malleus and consider an equal. He has Silver, Sebek and Lilia, and he definitely cares about them. By those relationships have a power dynamic of sorts. With Silver and Sebek serving Malleus, and with Lilia being a parental figure to Malleus. Yuu and Malleus doesn’t have any power dynamic, they are both equals when they are together.

And of course, Malleus barely gets invited to events such as these because everyone’s so intimidated by him. (For good reason but still.) Not to mention that he grew up isolated (see his Birthday SSR) and has grown used to being alone. And yet here is this human, fearlessly inviting him to a concert as a friend. He even asks if they’re performing and is disappointed when he finds out that they’re just the manager. I just find that cute.

And the next day, Lilia comes to Yuu to thank them for inviting them, because of how happy Malleus was. Just...imagine Malleus arriving at the dorms late, holding the VDC ticket in his hand. Sebek probably stayed up late to wait for him and began to scold him, you know Sebek being Sebek. And Malleus just calmly apologizes and goes to his room and Sebek is confusion because Malleus usually is like “you don’t need to complain sm about me, I’m fine” (it’s hard to describe it. He’s not bratty he just wants Sebek to chill lol) but Lilia sees this and noticed the ticket in Malleus’s hand and is like “ho ho ho” like the far dad he is.

That strayed into headcanon/fic territory I’m so sorry.

Anyways, back to canon. Malleus arriving at the VDC stage after the overblot fight. Again, Yuu is vulnerable in some way. In this way, they’re most likely tired from fighting ANOTHER overblot. And then they see Malleus, who arrived two hours earlier, probably bc they really wanted to see Yuu, and they’re so happy! And we know this bc one of the dialogue options is simply “Tsunotaro!” So we know that Yuu was definitely walking up to Malleus with a smile on their face without a care in the world. (And freaking everyone else)

Malleus and Yuu seem to have this ability to rid the presence of any negativity when they’re together. Their presence is enough to sooth each other. Not to mention that even after (finally) realizing Malleus’s true identity, they’re reaction was basically, “holy crap are you serious? Ok.” They are as chill as always.

Yuu is even worried that Malleus wouldn’t want them calling him by his nickname anymore (one of the dialogue options is “am I not allowed to call you Tsunotaro anymore?” But Malleus simply smiles and says “no it’s fine.”

It’s just...the fact that Malleus was most likely worried that Yuu would change the way they acted around Malleus, and that worried just went “poof” in a matter of seconds...it’s just so pure man.

Malleus and Yuu’s relationship really feels like two inexperienced people finding solace and discovering friendship with one another and the beauty that brings. Of course Yuu doesn’t really have a backstory (as they’re mainly there for the player to insert themselves in) and they have Ace, Deuce and friends that they definitely care about. However, this world is still new to them, and their relationships with Ace, Deuce and the other characters are also growing. And with Malleus, well, he’s completely new to friendship like this, and is still learning. He may be hundreds of years old, but he’s still considered a teenager in fae years. (Species age differently, like what that droid said in The Mandolorian)

In conclusion, whether you ship it platonically or romantically or you’re like Leona and hate Malleus’s guts, I want what Malleus and Yuu have. And I am both excited and terrified for what the future brings them.

#if you read this far you deserve a trophy #here a trophy 🏆 #I just love these two sm #and yes I got off track a lot #I’m sorry lol #and yeah part of it may be self projecting but idc lol #they’re just precious okay? #just be glad I didn’t include the Halloween event as well bc this would have become a novel #anywho #twisted wonderland #malleus x yuu #okay to tag as ship #okay to tag as platonic #also sorry for any typos #it’s 11:19pm as I’m writing this #lol

[theaspers]

more rambling abt raiden ei. if u like her. maybe dont read this lmao it’s things i’ve said before

im gonna be honest my main reason for delaying playing through raiden story quest 2 stems from the fact that im reluctant to give ei a second chance lmao ik i said i would but i have this gut feeling that this patch will try SO hard to erase her of her sins, or if not, make it seem as though it’s not as big of a deal than it actually is.

somehow the way she’d been written, in the inazuma archon quests + her first story quest, just absolutely rubbed me the wrong way. from the start, it had always seemed to me that the game sort of had a trajectory towards forgiveness for her, despite everything she had done. in the earlier parts, we would see npcs who were struggling in inazuma or people dying, but in the next scene, somehow we would see people who still praised her, people who held no form of resentment for her (i guess thats a whole different matter in itself tho) or her actions.

when confronted with the deaths and the cost of her actions, she’d simply acknowledged that she knew what was happening and raiden had her tacit approval to carry out what was necessary to achieve her “eternity” even if that meant death for her people. i understand respect and i understand reverence. but the ppl who held resentment for her actions (or ppl opposing her ideals) are somehow never shown or, even if they are, are never portrayed to be having a justified reaction to being under the rule of a tyrant. the first story quest almost felt like a joke bc like ??? some of the inazuma ppl were suffering and suddenly ur just supposed to forgive and forget ???

to me, this patch just seems like mhy backtracking after they realised that they’d left the inazuma quests on a far too unsatisfactory note for a good portion of the players and are trying to fix that alongside trying to redeem ei.

HOWEVER i am willing to recognize that this is the only way for her and inazuma to move forward and for the story to develop further. she has to acknowledge her mistakes + try to fix it by doing better. i understand this. BUT i cant help but feel that its such cheap writing bc mhy only did this long after the ending of the archon quests and her story quest and so it feels as though it’s a last minute and a “oh woops ppl dont like that ending so we gotta tack something on at the end to make it better” and i dont want to sing mhy praises for pulling tacky shit like this lmao

(sure u can also argue that the ending of the inazuma archon quest itself was never supposed to be the “actual end” but to me, genuinely, it seemed as though they were ready to be done with inazuma then. there was indication that the traveler was supposed to move on to the next part of their journey so. idk lol)

(ALSO SIDE NOTE after writing all of this down: i forgot the ppl of inazuma doesnt know … that there were two of them …. so the part where they respect her … i guess kinda makes more sense LMAO oops)

#rambling o whatever bc gi disk horse on twt is getting to me ^0^

[daydreamer11587]

*Dusts off blog*

Well, earlier I didn't think I'd ever write paragraphs for Hospital Playlist as I am already too jaded with the writer and director duo's evil game of stringing the viewers along, making them invested and feeling lulled with their feelings and ships only to break them later. But tonight... yeah I have this urge to write paragraphs of things because at episode 10, I think they have made things more clearer and obvious so I just want to document my finding, lol. So yeah, excuse me. *insert Marge Simpson embarrassed gif*

(Caution: these are purely my own observation and personal interpretations. They are of course prone to be wrong and may be interpreted so differently than others)

HOSPITAL PLAYLIST EPISODE 10 THEME: ONE SIDED LOVES AND CONFESSIONS.

Seeing how the episode panned out and the song they performed - Confession is Not Flashy, I think the theme of the episode is one sided loves and confessions.

The writer director duo has regarded the song "Confession is Not Flashy" as a one-sided love song, based on their usage of the song in Reply 1994, episode 8 when the lights was out because of the rain and the kids were listening to the radio at the living room. The DJ narrated:

"Everyone, this is your chance. If by chance the person you love is next to you and if you are in a one-sided love, you should take advantage of this darkness and stare at the person you love as much as you can. I'll play a song for you. So until the electricity comes back, feel free to imagine being in a relationship with that person. Does it even matter? It's a one-sided love after all. That person doesn't know about it. Although you are in a one-sided love relationship, I hope you'll have a happy date during the 3 minutes of this song. This is a gift for those who are in a one-sided relationship and those who are lonely yet happy. It's 'Confession is Not Flashy' by Lee Seung Hwan. Everyone, end your one-sided love today. When the rain stops tomorrow, confess your love like said in the song. You never know, that person might be in love with you too."

I know this drama and Reply 1994 are totally different dramas, but I believe the writer-director's view on the songs they have chosen must still be the same. So when they use the same song in Hospital Playlist, their view on the song and what they represent should still be the same.

And true to their view about the song, this episode really is filled with one-sided loves and confessions (directly or indirectly) :

1. Chi Hong's one sided love towards Song Hwa, and his indirect confession despite her earlier rejection.

He was enjoying the few minutes alone time with Song Hwa during the NS lunch date and a little bit displeased when Dr. Yong turned up on time, lol. From picking up the strand of hair on her shoulder (which made her uncomfortable), to saying "I'll stay right by your side, Professor".

2. Min Ha's one-sided love towards Seok Hyeong and her direct confession in his car.

Girl got some gusto I like their scene so much I was squealing the whole time ajdjfjf. Her confession and what she said after to him was so cool, my heart fluttered!

3. Gyeo Wool's one-sided love towards Jeong Won and her indirect confession to him via her manager, Ik Jun. Haha.

Ik Jun is campaigning for Jeong Won to accept Gyeo Wool so hard. Why? Not really because of Jeong Won, but because of Gyeo Wool. He adores her as a doctor and as a person that he wants her to be happy and he said this himself. He knows that the thing that would make Gyeo Wool happy is by being with the person she likes, Jeong Won. As how it is, Jeong Won denied Ik Jun's assumption that he likes Gyeo Wool. As Jeong Won was looking at Ik Jun bemusedly for his suggestion, he was probably recalling his conversation with Jun Wan about Ik Jun being a nutcase and how he and Ik Jun are not seeing eye to eye (the Korean phrase can also be translated as "not like minded") and he can't figure Ik Jun's mind at all sometimes.

4. Ik Jun's one-sided love towards Song Hwa and his very smooth indirect confession.

The reason why I see it as one-sided from was because Song Hwa doesn't seem to view him romantically. Most of the time, the affection from her towards him seems to be purely platonic. She always hit him, threatening to punch him and chided him for behaving like a kid. She even refused skinship(?) from his end by kicking him when his feet were touching hers under the cafeteria table. The scene where they look domesticated at his house really is heart fluttering, but when he (so smoothly) indirectly confessed to her, she was startled and looked away. She seems wanting to avoid it, turned her face away, pretending to look outside and then change the subject, asking him to continue eating. It doesn't look like a positive reaction after a confession. But I might be wrong though.

5. Song Hwa's one-sided love(?) towards Jeong Won and her proposal as an indirect confession

(This one is actually so weak and I don't really think it's feasible but somehow there seems to be something, especially from Song Hwa's end that leaves some nagging feeling and suspicions)

Song Hwa doesn't come off as someone who would freely intiate affectionate and excessive skinships with the boys. She would just give them either some friendly touches on their arms, friendly or consolation pats (to Seok Hyeong and Jun Wan) or hitting and kicking them (to Ik Jun). But with Jeong Won, she seems to take the opportunity(?) to lean on his shoulder when he put his arms around her when supporting her purchase decision. But, this could also mean that they're so close that there's no personal boundaries between them. However, both of them were not portrayed to have that kind of dynamic. Song Hwa is a lot closer to the other 3 boys than Jeong Won but she was never shown to initiate such an intimate skinship with them.

After witnessing Jeong Won being so lovable with the little boy (look at how she looks at him) and enthusiastically talking about him and his brother, she proposed to him "Jeong Won, let's get married / marry me" (the right literal translation). He was startled, looking directly at her in surprise and then she backtracked(?), telling him to find a great woman and make babies as she imagined how cute it would be if he has his own children. Her random "proposal" might be brushed off as a joke, but Song Hwa doesn't seem like a person who would freely joke on such a matter either. If her proposal actually wasn't a joke as how she covered it to be, then it can be regarded as a type of confession too, no?

6. Jeong Won's non-romantic one-sided intention towards Song Hwa and his direct confession and proposal.

Jeong Won has one-sidedly intended for Song Hwa to take over his Daddy Long Legs project since spring. He confessed to her than he is in fact Daddy Long Legs (Grandpa Long Legs to her, lol). He proposed for her to take it over, and she accepted it.

Now,

I know Hospital Playlist is not the same as the Reply series as there is no 'who is the husband game' mystery. And it actually has a more similar vibe to Prison Playbook imo. But at the same time, Hospital Playlist is made to share the same formula as the Reply series: apart from the heartwarming small daily stories, the writer and director duo also deliberately hide and witheld certain POVs, make them opague and opening them up for interpretations which leads to people starting guessing games. Then they filled the show with small details and nuances to corroborate the interpretations and fuelling the guessing game.

It is the same as the Reply series where people were made to guess whom did the female lead like, whom would the female lead choose and ends up with.

But this time, the persons whose POV were hidden and making people keep on guessing are not only the female lead Song Hwa, but also Jeong Won. Will he really quit and becomes a priest? Does he like Gyeo Wool or not? Will he end up with Gyeo Wool or not? As for Song Hwa, it's the question of whom does she like? Does she have feelings for Ik Jun or not? Will she change her mind and consider Chi Hong or not?

Those sort of mysteries are established because both Jeong Won's and Song Hwa's insights were deliberately witheld and made to be opague. We have insight to Ik Jun's, Jun Wan's and Seok Hyeong's feelings. But not the other two. This witholding of POVs and insights to their feelings made things open for different interpretations, sparked the guessing games and established ships, just like the Reply series.

#Hospital Playlist

[justarandompersontryingtolive]

i dont even know anymore lol

 so.. theres this person that i know. she's been my friend since elementary school, and i lost contact of her at one point. but around quarantine time, i suddenly just started talking to her again because we found each other’s contact info. it was going good for around a few months until we stopped talking again due to personal problems. but then around dec. 2020 she started contacting me again. it went pretty good for a few months but then it seemed that she was starting to change..

alright so for a little more context, i’m just going to say that after elementary school, i moved away to another city, so everything was just kinda complicated because we were far distanced. plus it was like a year apart so yeah.

i would say that we had pretty good interactions for like 2-3 months, but then she would start causing these arguments. arguments about dumb things (well not really), like not responding to her immediately, even though it wasn’t an emergency, blaming me for things that SHES done (like having her volume up to max when i send her a video that isnt even loud), when i simply talk about something, and etc. she always ends up blocking me in the end.

another thing is that she loves to insult me, my interests, and even my family sometimes. she always says that “its just a joke bitch, learn to take one” but it doesn’t even sound like a joke. it all just ruins my excitement for some things and lowers my confidence and she does the usual “act like nothing happened” tactic. for example, i get this new guitar as a gift from my brother, so obviously i get really excited, like ALL CAPS excited. but when i tell her about it, she goes like “ok, and? there’s no need to scream. it’s just a guitar. anyways, help me with my music playlist”. that one moment just kinda ruined the mood, and when i was showing it, she was all like “stop doing that, plus i don’t think you would be any help so bye”. that one conversation was just confusing, and there’s many of our coversations that are just like that. anyways, i actually have kept track of most of the insults and stuff, but i think that should be for a different time haha

these are the most recent events; the ones that lead me to write this tumblr post. she suddenly started being even more rude, calling me a liar out of nowhere, spamming me insults, etc. then this happened. i sent her this video of a person on tiktok, who i thought was really pretty. i do it allll the time, and she knows that. the creator goes by they/them pronouns so obviously, i tried to respect them, going like “ahhhh they’re so stunning omg” but this girl literally goes like  “omg i dont like her, shes freaky” when i was clearly stating that the creator goes by they/them. she then says “idfc, now stop texting me because i don’t wanna risk losing this show on my phone”. i just looked at her texts in shock, because i’ve never rlly seen her disrespect someone to that level. she always says that she never acts rude, but the past texts say otherwise..

then, earlier today, i wake up to a few texts. from her. she sent me a snap to maintain our 40-day snapstreak on snapchat. i was going to send on back, but then i read these texts from her.

“BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK” “SNAP ME BACK.  I STG IF YOU WASTED 40 DAYS OF MY FUCKING TIME YOU’RE DEAD” “DOES YOUR DUMBASS NOT SEE THE LIMIT? BITCH HURRY” “WTF I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU” “HELLOOOOO?” “fine. you suck anyway... i’ll just get rid of it for you”

all in the span of a few minutes. where i didn’t even have the chance to respond. she blocked me. on all platforms. all because of a snap not sent early in the day.

aaaaand yeah. there’s much more to all this that i could probably say to clear up, but i just can’t think of it all right now because my brain’s all fucked up lol

what even am i supposed to do?  i dont even feel like i’ve done anything, but i kinda want to say something. but i also don’t. talking to her was so mentally exhausting, and when i wasn’t it just felt.. relieving. but i also felt a little fun in texting her, so i’m confused.

she’s a good person, i swear. but these moments just kinda prove it wrong. ik that she’s nice to others and etc, so why am i one of the only exceptions? kinda feels unfair. but what if this is rlly a joke and i’m just taking it too seriously? agh, i need help

sometimes i feel like i’m at fault, because i could’ve said some things to provoke her but i always try to prove myself, and i actually do it. has she? not really. but i don’t wanna seem like someone who just complains about someone who probably hasn’t done much bad. i hope i haven’t been overreacting abou all this, but this is how i’ve really been feeling about the situation, and instead of being targeted, i decided to write this anonymously. but yeah, thank you for reading this. :)

#friendship? help idk #rant

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice CH3 PT3

Warnings: None. Just Victor fluff. ye

... and cliffhangers lol

(Chapter Three (Victor and Lucien) prologue and part one, and part two here~)

((Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here :D)) Chapter three:

Part three:

*“Sir?” I asked with confidence, “May I come in?” Victor looked up at me and unfurrowed his brow.*1

“Come in.” He answered with the same resolute voice he always had. 

“I… made you some coffee,” I said as I walked into the room and closed the door behind me.

“At three in the afternoon?” He asked, skeptically.

“I figured you have had a rough day. And from the looks of you,” I gestured to his loose tie, “I’d say I’m right.” *Victor looked down and hurriedly fixed his tie. Then he stopped, seemingly thinking of something.

“When… did you get here?”*1 He asked, hesitantly.

“Around two-fifty,” I answered, looking down at my watch. “Just enough time to get escorted to the break room and introduced to the coffee machine.” I placed the coffee mug in front of Victor. His shoulders eased slightly. “... that’s where I ran into Chik.” 

The words spilled from my mouth easily but they seemed to weigh on the room’s atmosphere. Victor’s shoulders tensed again, “You know her, right? The best new supporting actress? You wouldn’t believe what she was preaching about.” I rolled my eyes and folded my arms, “She started going on  about owning humans and the meaning of the word ‘meeting.’ I had no idea I had been using it wrong this whole time.” I raised my eyebrow at Victor, “Seriously, you should have told me what this was all about. I wouldn’t have prepared so much material for business.” Victor’s eyes flashed with surprise.

“Just what are you-” He started, sounding very disturbed.

“Relax.” I teased, placing my briefcase on the seat across from him, “I’m only joking.” Victor stared at me blankly, “... what? Is my tie loose now?” I looked down.

“You seem… different from last we met.” Victor chose his words carefully, “Did you fall and hit your head?”

I blinked a couple of times and flashed him a surprised look, “Excuse me?”

“That cut on your cheek.” Victor gestured to my face, “It looks as if it were deep.” I impulsively brushed my cheek with my finger. 

"Ah, well that’s… nothing. I just… fell.” I cleared my throat, “As for the last meeting, I had a.. long day. You’ll have to forgive the rotten mood I was in.”

Victor didn’t look convinced but still, he cleared his throat and spoke frankly, “Right, well LFG would like to formally apologize for the incident we had caused, Ms. Ikamara.” I cringed.

“You don’t have to be so formal.” I turned and opened my briefcase, relieved he had dropped the subject of my cut, “Ike is fine.”

Victor sighed, “Are you going to change your name every time we meet?” 

I tapped my chin, “That would be fun. I guess ‘Ike’ is pretty boring. What about Mari? Or Kiki? Or-”

“How about dummy?” Victor asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly.

“Well maybe, if it weren’t such a lame name.” I mimicked him, “Come on, Mr. CEO, is ‘dummy’ the best you can come up with?”

“I think it perfectly fits a dummy like you.” He said this as he picked up the proposal, that I had left him from the last meeting, from his desk, “Now, shall we start? Or would you like to take more time to come up with a better name?” I ran my tongue over my teeth in annoyance. Victor’s eyes and raised eyebrow held an insurmountable amount of defiance. I rolled my eyes.

“I suppose.” I sighed as I bent over my suitcase again. A slight chuckle tickled the air. I looked back at Victor. He was looking over the proposal in his hand and had the cup of coffee raised to his mouth again. Although he tried to cover it, I could see the corner of his lips rising. A warm feeling crept into my chest. I got to him. 

I shouldn’t have been so messy with my movement because Victor’s eyes quickly snapped to mine. “What?” He asked.

“Nothing.” I quickly said as I pulled out a folder from the case, “I’m just… I’m glad to see you’re in a better mood.” The room was silent as I gathered the other papers of notes I had stored in there. After a moment, I sensed the air get heavy again. I looked back to Victor who was looking at me with an unbreakable poker face. The face was so expressionless, it made me question whether or not I really saw that smile just a moment ago.

*“Don’t go around spreading rumors.”*1 Victor’s voice was low and serious. I blinked a movement, unsure of what he meant. Then realization struck me. I straightened my posture and arched my eyebrow.

“Do you take me for a schoolgirl?” I asked, matching his tone of seriousness. 

“Excuse me?”

“Do you take me for a schoolgirl?” I asked this slower so he wouldn’t miss a syllable. Victor didn’t answer. I sighed snapped my briefcase shut, “I’m not one who enjoys partaking in such belittling behavior. Spreading rumors is a bored man’s way to keep busy, and, trust me, I have no trouble keeping busy.” Victor raised his head slightly, seemingly content with my words, “So trust me when I say, your secret is safe with me.” 

“Secret?” Victor asked, uncertainty flashing in his eyes, “What secret?”

“Right. Exactly.” I replied plainly, “Now, shall we begin? Or would rather you clarify exactly what secret we are referring to?” Victor raised an eyebrow. He held his eyes on mine for a bit, unsure if he were to keep the conversation rolling or not. He finally dropped the subject as he grunted and redirected his attention to the proposal.

“Our meeting today will mostly consist of signing papers and establishing timelines. Just how long will it take until I get my investment back?”

“Five years.” I was quick to answer. I had done the math the night before and that was the closest I could get to a reasonable amount of time. 

“Too slow.” Victor deadpanned. I dropped my expression into one of annoyance. Of course my best wouldn’t be good enough for Captain Capitalist, what else was new?

“Sir, this production will need a lot of time to prepare and to monopolize TV stations and advertisers to better help our show.” My attention wavered as my eyes had drifted to the clock in the corner of the room. Time was passing so quickly. Soon our meeting would be over and... I would be placed in a situation that I had never been in before.

“...is there something else you’d rather be doing?” Victor irked, obviously sensing something was off with me. I shook my head fervently, both to reassure Victor and to clear my mind of any worries for my plans later. 

“No, my attention right now is directed primarily to getting LFG by our side. Everything else is confetti. Worthless, anxiety-inducing confetti.” The last part of my speech was muttered to myself rather than to Victor. Victor eyed me for a second, then straightened his posture.

“Fine then,” He said, “You have two years.” He said this plainly. The words struck me down.

“Two years?! Production of the first season alone will take up a third of that time!”

“You have two years.” Victor reiterated. His attitude seemed to return to it’s happier side as he belittled me.

“And how on Earth do you expect me to get away with that?”

“If you can’t, then leave.”

I stayed silent. I had gotten this far with him, I can’t stop now. Maybe I could work in more time if I spent more time at the office during the weekends… “Three and a half years.” I stood my ground. Victor turned and picked up his phone. “Ugh, fine!” I caved, waving my hands to stop him, “Two years.” Victor seemed satisfied and put down the phone. What is it with men and being so unjustly stubborn?! I thought to myself, I guess Victor had built the LFG empire in eight years. If he can do something like that impressive in that short amount of a time, I can too.

*“The investment approval procedure will be initiated next week.” Victor’s tone was stern, “The first step of your two-year grand plan is to pass LFG's investment approval process.”*1

“Right.” I said, trying to build my courage back up, “We won’t let you down.”

“You’d better not.” Victor’s tone was resolute, “If your company is riding on this show, you’d better give the approval process all you’ve got.”

“Why would I give it any less?” I quipped, folding my arms defiantly, “I’ll give it my all. You can count on me, sir.” Victor sighed.

“If you insist on formalities with your own name, why bother calling me ‘sir?’” The capitalist mocked, “Victor is fine.” 

“What?” I rolled my eyes, “I don’t get the option to call you ‘dummy?’”

“Not if you don’t want to lose your investment.” Victor took another sip of his coffee. This man… “Now, let’s start the paperwork. If we do it fast enough, we could end the meeting early.” My heart jumped. Early? As in, I would start my date earlier than expected? Nope. Not going to happen.

(Next )

((*1: Stage 2-15 of Mr. Love))

#writing this made me remember mc was supposed to be a producer #did anyone else forget or is it just me lol #mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc victor fluff #mr love #mr love victor #mlqc victor sASS #direct quotes

[petri808]

A Long Forgotten Dream

@hakyonaweeks Day 2 Entwined prompt

Hak could barely remember the last time he’d had time to just sit and relax with some drink in the company of those he cared most about.  They’d been fighting for so long that it was difficult to ease away the tension still coursing through his muscles.  He was always on the alert.  But Mundok had cornered him tonight, ready to celebrate and properly congratulate his adoptive grandson on his impending nuptials.

“You know,” old Mundok began with a sip from his saucer, “I had a feeling this would happen one day.”

“Oh,” Hak retorts with a smirk, “clairvoyance, or is that the drink talking?”

“Tch.  Call it the foretelling of a two-year-old.”  

Hak rolls his eyes, “uh-huh, now there’s an excellent source to believe.”

The old man sighs, finishes and re-fills his cup.  Truth be told, he once believed the young child’s dreams had been nothing more than fantasy.  Everyone has dreams, some more lively than others, and most never amounting to more than just glimpses of past or current stressors.  Imagination gone wild during slumber.  But now, he believed it.  “You were probably too young to remember the night of the Princess’ birth, how the sky lit up in a reddish hue.  We were still in the midst of the Xing war.”  His eyes close as the memories flood back.  So many casualties on both sides… those were not pleasant to think about.  But at least there was one happier ending to latch onto, Hak.   “We’d all heard the ancient tales, the heralding of the red dragon and when the Princess was born with the old King’s likeness I knew, that girl would be special. What I didn’t know,” he turns back to his grandson, “was that you would become so much more than just another orphan of a war.”

With a tilt of his head, Hak prepares himself for the sentimental old fool to start going on like he often would about family and all those mushy things he cared little to drown his emotions in.  “Pray-tell old man, exactly what did that two-year-old envision?”

“If I remember correctly, for a good several months after I took you in, you would wake up at least once a week from a dream.  The same dream in fact.  You couldn’t explain it well, but what I could decipher, it was about dragons, or big lizards you called them.  Yeah…” Mundok sips away, “dragons and the color red haunted your dreams for months. Never seemed to scare you either, so I assumed it was just the crazy imagination of a small boy trying to make sense of the war he’d just lived through.  You do realize what it all means, don’t cha my boy?”

“Not really.”  

“As sad as it was, your parent’s deaths put you on a course destined to bring you to this very moment.”

“Pfft, old man, I think you’ve gone crazy.  I’ve met the Oracle remember, and even he never said such things.”

Mundok simply shrugs and continues drinking.  For the rest of the evening the topic never comes up again to Hak’s delight.  Some light teasing, threats of bodily harm if he ever hurt the Princess, just standard operation protective chats from Mundok.  All in all, the old man was pleased with how things had turned out, and proud of the man Hak has become.  Surely, the old man was growing a bit senile.  He was convinced Mundok confused the ancient tales with bedtime stories he may have told him as a child.    

The hazy outline of a person walks towards Hak asking a question. “Why do you fear the truth young man? It was I that you saw as a child, in dreams meant to give you clues about your future.”

Hak squints, studying what little features he could ascertain.  It was a male based on the voice with a reddish fringe around his head, maybe hair.  Shorter than he was, but not by much.  “Who are you?”  He asks the specter.  “What do you want from me?!”

“You have done as I had hoped you would, so there is nothing more I request.”

“Damn it, what are you talking about!”

“Her birth would have left her vulnerable until she was ready, and so we sent someone to protect her until such time.  You did wonderfully Son Hak, just as we had envisioned you would.”  The man begins to fade away.  “I wish you both happiness for the rest of your lives…”

Hak reaches out to keep the man from leaving, “come back here!” but only catches the last traces of swirling air.  

He bolts up right frantically in the bed with his arm extended as if trying to grab hold of someone. “Damn it!”

“What’s wrong?” a concerned Yona sits up, her eyes frantic.  “Did something happen?!”

When he turns to look at the girl beside him, in the cover of darkness with only scant moonlight to see by, Hak pauses for a moment.  It was just like in his dream, she was like the hazy image in the dream.  Her red hair the main clue to know who she was. Red hair.  He runs his hand down his face.  “It was just a dream Yona, everything is okay.”

“A nightmare?” she presses, placing a gentle hand upon his arm.  “Shall I have the servants bring you tea to calm your nerves?”

Hak shakes his head. “I guess I was still thinking about what gramps said to me earlier.”

Yona stares up with a look of curiosity, beckoning for him to continue.  He sighs.  “Gramps said when he’d found me, I was having dreams about dragons and the color red was a part of it.  I don’t remember any of it because I was too young.  Now tonight, it was as if King Hiryuu himself came to me.”

“What did he say?”

“I’d been sent to protect you.  Since the moment you were born it had all been planned.”

The room grows silent for a few minutes.  Finally, Yona responds.  “I believe it happened.”   She shifts over to rest her head on his shoulder. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be here, so I think they chose the right person.  But I also didn’t fall in love with you because of some preordained destiny.  My heart figured it out all on its own.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Like Ik-Soo once told me, some things are meant to happen, but most are like leaves landing wherever the wind has taken them.  No matter where they go, they are still leaves.  We are who we are Hak, and I know you were chosen because they saw something special in you because…  I see something special in you.”  She yawns, “regardless, I’m happy where we ended up.”

Hak kisses her forehead, “me too.”  She was right.  Whether their fates had been entwined from the beginning, it didn’t matter because he’d never give this up.  “We should get some sleep, there’s a lot to do in the coming days.”

Yona nods, already drifting. “I’m happy this day is finally here.”

He settles her back down, taking a position curled against her.

“Do you think my father would be happy if he were here, Hak?”

“I’m sure he would be,” Hak kisses her cheek, “now go to sleep.”

“Mmm,” she snuggles to the warmth of his body, “I think he had it planned from the beginning too, when he asked you to be my bodyguard.”

Hak chuckles and closes his eyes.  He’d never really thought of it before but thinking about it now.  “I wouldn’t be surprised…”

*I totally think King Il was the original Hakyona shipper lol*

#hakyonaweek #hakyonaweek2019 #day 2 entwined #hakyona #son hak #yona #Akatsuki no yona #hakyona drabble #hakyona fan fic

[lavenderbyun]

Hey! I know many people have already asked you about The Secret Life of My Secretary but I wanted to talk to you about it because it's quite frustrating that Gal-Hee is taking advantage of Min-Ik's face blindness. Of course it's wrong of Min Ik to use her as he had/has been but she has no right to pretend that she is Veronica just to find out how he treats other women. Seeing how he isn't a brooding asshole we can assume that he treats women well but his flaw is in how he used/uses. 1/?

Just as YI Eul-Wang said that he was the one who tamed her and not the other way around. It's just quiet bothersome to watch characters do unredeemable things because it's not cute to watch her take advantage of his prosopagnosia. Plus how could they not suspect the driver just because Gal-Hee recognized him doesn't mean that he wasn't attacking Min-Ik like it's quite frustrating and I hope that Gal-Hee does have to face consequences for her actions because what she did is wrong. 2/2

omg, feel free to drop me an ask whenever! i honestly never mind~

It is quite frustrating I agree - but I guess for me it’s not necessarily unredeemable, as I kind of see it as a moment of weakness (and well...stupidity) that ended up becoming way out of hand, but not something she did with malicious intent

its not cute at all, and as funny as i do find her as veronica park - so far i’ve just been mentally avoiding their scenes, even if they are sweet, bc i just feel bad for him 

re: the driver scene, that was def annoying to me too at first - but then i realised, from her perspective she most likely only saw them on the floor with Min Ik about to hit him, and so as far as she knew, Min Ik was about to hit his driver w/o realising who it was (aka assumed it was his attacker) 

i guess i’ve gotten to a point where,  i know kdramas pull a lot of weird stuff and that all you can really do is hope for character development, and hold onto the knowledge that it’ll come out in the open by at least ep 10 though in some cases earlier 

there are some things that make me completely yikes out of the drama and drop it, but for the most part i’ve found that you just gotta bear with the frustrating parts, to enjoy the rest lol 

and like tbh, i’m absolutely loving a good 90% of the drama so i guess thats why im still in so deep regardless of the Veronica plot line?

#patiencegrenade #replies**

[iohourtime]

Love Goddess: An Ariyama Exchange Fic (Translation)

Myojo 2013.12 to 2014.05

T/N: I want to make it very clear that I didn't write this! 😅’ Please let me know if there were any errors.

I came across this recently after Yamada mentioned how he tends to write tragic love stories in the recent Urujump and someone commented that we should revisit “Love Goddess”.

I thought about making 6 posts but at the end of the day, each chapter is pretty short, so I grouped all 6 of them. The “author’s comment” are actually messages between Yamada and Dai-chan and they described their... um... thought process.  They were clearly half-assing this, so don’t take it too seriously.  Also, I think when they came up with their unit song, My Girl, they were probably thinking about this story.

Original source: @Momomo415  https://mobile.twitter.com/momomo415/status/772828405490331648

Also here, here, and here

Myojo Staff

Starting this month, you can read the exchange fiction written by Yamada and Arioka!  Taking the “top batter” position, Yamada started the story with a bang!!

----------

Chapter 1: My Best Friend is My Rival in Love?!

By Yamada Ryosuke

Arioka and I were in the same year in the same high school.  We knew each other since we were kids; in fact, we were best friends.  However, we had completely opposite personalities.  Arioka was serious and a bit timid and weak, and in comparison, I was a bit of a player*… if I may say so myself.  I didn’t have a steady girlfriend; I dated a lot of girls from school.  

[* Charai refers to flashy, shallow, frivolous, goof, thoughtless and also super flirty behaviour.  When used to describe a person, it’s probably closest to “player” in English.  I will stick with “charai” when they are talking about behaviour since I haven’t thought of a single word that describes all of the above.]

Recently, Arioka had fallen for Yuko, a girl from the class next to his.  Every day, he would nag me with questions like “How do I get her to go out with me?” Once in a while, I gave him some advice on matters of love.

This story started one day after school.  As usual, I was in the gym making out with a girl whose name I didn’t know.  I heard familiar footsteps approaching, and even though my eyes were closed, I knew it was Arioka who was coming over to get me.

“Yamada!! Let’s go home!! Hey you, you are doing that with [random] girls again?!”

My eyes opened and the girl slowly looked back at Arioka.  At that moment, Arioka froze; the bag he was holding fell on the ground.

“Yu...Yuko-chan…!!”

[T/N: Yes, “Yu” as in Chinen Yuri.]

Author’s Comment:

While this is totally fictional, I wanted to write a love triangle where Dai-chan and I were fighting over a girl.  Dai-chan, I leave this to you to make the story more messed up (lol)!!

----------

Chapter 2: Hitting Rock Bottom, My Revenge Begins!

By Arioka Daiki

I definitely saw something I didn't want to see.

My best friend Yamada and my crush Yuko kissing!!

Unable to take the shock, I ran out of that place.

“That girl is Yuko-chan, my crush? That can't be!! I don't know what to think~!”

I heard Yamada's urgent appeal from behind me, but I wasn’t listening, I ran and ran aimlessly… and without noticing, I ended up at the park.

“Why is this happening…”

For me who lost my best friend and the girl I liked in one shot, I didn’t know what to do.  I wondered why I am so useless...

“Yamada is so popular, why can't I be like that... What does he have that I don't?”

I was thinking about that as I walked into a convenience store. And then it appeared before my eyes: a handbook for love called “From Today Onwards, You Can Be Popular Too”. Grasping at straws, I poured over the contents of the book, studying [the methods] over and over again…

A few days later, I, who used to wear my uniform super properly, left three buttons of my shirt open and wore a sparkly earring in my pierced ear.  My hair was waxed and big and I had a party girl* under each of my arms.  This was the new me that bumped into Yamada.

[* Ike ike girl (イケイケガール) is literally translated as a “go go girl”. Similar to “charai”, there seems to be certain traits associated with the term.  I am just going to use “party girl” here.]

“You are Ar...Arioka?”

Facing this shocked Yamada, I openly declared.

“I will make you feel the pain I felt!”

Author's Comment:

Since Yamada requested that I make “the story messy!”, I turned this into a revenge drama.  It was an experience imagining ourselves being bad (laughs).  Let’s see what you can cook up next [Yamada]!

----------

Chapter 3: The Playboy met His True Love?

By Yamada Ryosuke

Unbuttoned uniform, sparkly earring, and waxed hair.

The Arioka in front me had certainly turned into an “unmissable character”. However, his eyes were wide opened from shock.

That’s right. I had dyed my hair blonde and was wearing colour con, so I had become more charai than ever!

“Take a good look, Arioka! This is called “the comeback of a player”!!!”

Faced with that [embarrassing] situation, Arioka was crestfallen. Yet the party girls with him became turned on by this defeated Arioka.

I casually met the eyes of one of the girls…

Eh?! Is that…. Is that Yuko?!

In other words, Yuko, who made out with me just a few days ago, was attracted to Arioka at this moment….

What?  When have I cared about Yuko?  She was just one of the many girls I made out with!  

Well then, why is my heart so confused…

I slowly left that place.

Author’s Comment:

This month’s theme is the comeback of a player (laughs)! Yuko, who was uninterested at first, had finally turned around and looked at Arioka.  Dai-chan, how will you continue this battle of the players?

----------

Chapter 4: The Curtains are Drawn on the Battle of the Players!

By Arioka Daiki

With a sad look on his face, Yamada turned back and started to walk away slowly.  

And then... “Wait a minute!”, Yuko-chan suddenly shouted at Yamada.  I looked up when I heard her voice. Yuko-chan slowly looked back and forth between me and Yamada, and with determination, she said this.

“I love players. The more they play the field, the more I love them. So with that, the first ever “Battle of the Players” begins!”

Not quite knowing what she meant, both Yamada and I asked, “Battle of the Players?”

“Yama-chan and Dai-chan are part of it of course, but all the guys at school who feel like they are players are welcome to join too.  The winner of the “Battle of the Players” can go out with me!”

Hearing Yuko-chan’s words, I was fired up. “I’ll do it!”  

Yamada, cracking his knuckles and brushing his hair upwards, said, “I am not going to lose!”

And then Yuko-chan explained the details of the battle; both Yamada and I were dumbfounded.

Author’s Comment:

No way. I didn’t expect Yamada to become even more charai than me, I wasn’t sure how to continue… So, I decided to add the popular battle element from shounen manga.  Let’s heat this up!

----------

Chapter 5: Arioka’s Secret is Revealed…?!

By Yamada Ryosuke

[T/N: To be honest, some of the characters’ actions are making me a bit uncomfortable.  I guess they are stereotypical “charai” behaviour?  Which kinda made them creeps, but whatever...  😅’ ]

“Simply speaking, I am going to observe the two of you round the clock to see which of you have a more charai lifestyle.”

And just as she said, Yuko started observing us the next day.  Even though we were being watched, I was very charai to begin with, so I was pretty confident in my chances of winning.  After all, I was someone who greeted every girl a “good morning” with kisses.

While I was confident I had the edge, two days, three days later, the winner was still not decided.  Yuko said Arioka was showing his “player” quality by repeatedly flipping girls’ skirts and she was feeling turned on by that.

This went on until one day, I was in the nurse’s station getting hot and heavy with this girl from my class.  Yuko and Arioka happened to walk by.  To appeal to Yuko, Arioka cut in and started getting involved with the same girl I was with.

“WTH is this?! I am not going to lose!”, I said as I ripped open my uniform to show my beautiful, muscular body*.  Seeing me and not wanting to lose, Arioka also started taking off his shirt.  However, when Arioka saw his own topless self, he immediately regretted doing that.  That is because Arioka’s tummy was on full display!  In that moment, the battle was over…  I snickered, knowing that I had won.

[* Yamada just really wanted to remind people he got a nice muscular body, huh?]

Author’s Comment:

Since we didn’t really thought through the plot of the story, it was a bit hard to keep going but I trust Dai-chan’s powerful ideas! Who will get Yuko’s heart? I am very curious to know too!

----------

Chapter 6: The Battle of the Players is Over! Who Got True Love in the End?

By Arioka Daiki

Facing Yamada’s well toned abs, I started taking off my shirt too and immediately realized it was the wrong move.  That was because my abs were not in top condition.  I was eating a lot of good food during winter and didn’t train my body, so it was no wonder I looked like that.

Yuko was staring at Yamada’s body and she was definitely into it.  Yamada pulled Yuko into his embrace and they kissed passionately.

Yup, total defeat-----.

To stop my tears from coming out, I held my head up, but then I felt someone’s warm gaze on me.  Suddenly, I remembered there was someone else in the room other than Yamada, Yuko, and I.  In the room, there was also Keiko* who was making out with Yamada earlier!  Keiko slowly opened her mouth, her eyes turned heart shaped, and shouted.

[* Yes, Kei as in Inoo Kei]

“Arioka-kun’s tummy reminds me of my papa’s!  I loooove it!”

From that point on, Keiko pursued me relentlessly!  No matter where I was, she was always beside me. No matter what I said, she would laugh [like it was the funniest joke].  My heart slowly turned towards the single-minded Keiko.

3 days later, I saw Yamada and Yuko taking a walk and holding hands.  Now I was able to wholeheartedly support this couple.

That was because beside me…

My new love goddess, Keiko, was smiling at me.

Author’s Comment:

Since Inoo-chan was there, the story has a happy ending (laughs).  Honestly, at first I was worried as the story kinda went off the rails!  But I was enjoying the writing process.  Will this story be published? Until the day we meet again, to be continued~

[Aside: I don’t know what to say.  I guess Keiko likes the dad bod… in any case, she can help Dai-chan draw on some abs if need be. All things considered, the fight in My Girl makes more sense - at least the 3 of them had grown up together and frankly, I think the girl in the song probably think they are ridiculous and dump them anyway. ]

Cast

#Myojo #Love Goddess #AriYama #Exchange fiction #translations #arioka daiki #yamada ryosuke

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi jw if this can be apart of abusive stuff my parents usually do, but, lately ive been wanting to get out more and get a job and be more independent from my parents, but everytime i attempt to, they have some ‘solid’ reason as to why i cant do what im wanting to do. Like, earlier today, i spoke to my mum about wanting to get a bike (pedal) so i can get a job as a delivery person for a while to save up for being able to move out (i turn 18 in like a day and theyve been very adament on me moving out this year and i wanna be as prepared as possible). All she did was tell me how if i acc passed my exams last year ‘like normal people did’ then i wouldnt need to be getting this kind of job, that i wont be able to have a bike as she is ‘shocked her car is still on the street as people have been slashing tires and stealing cars’ (in my whole 10, almost 11, years of living here - never has happened.), that its already too much for me leaving the house as i am (i have pretty bad anxiety but the past 2 ish months, ive improved a lot and i can now do things as a ‘regular’ person and its great! So mum is almost certainly wrong there lol, its not too much anymore) and that, it would be a waste of time and effort as i should be learning to drive, not riding a bike everywhere. I have gotten my provisional, and will be taking lessons, but considering how ive acc been wanting a bike for years and how my sister can have it if i cant take it with me, or how i can use it once ive moved out if i cant afford a car by then, i thought it would be a good investment. But she was adament on me not getting the bike at all and just wanted me to ‘stick with college and getting qualifications and learninng to drive’. Which i do totally understand, but i just want a job so badly. Im behind socially, my friends are so far ahead of me (one having multiple jobs already, and the rest reaching university whilst im resitting high school exams), i just feel left out. Which ik isnt an ‘adult feeling’ but i wanna catch up and become a more mature and better person, which i dont think i can do with how little my schedule has become due to failing everything. 2021 has just been me learning about my own limits and finding where my biggest anxieties are and facing them and stuff, so i feel like this would be a good next step to start working towards and soon overcome. But am i wrong? If so, how do i fix my mindset and be better? But if not, can this be apart of my mums way of making me not leave the house by sabotaging it? Sorry if this was very overshare-y and wordy in places, im a little stressed haha 😅 but, happy new year! I hope your 2022 has a ton of good hair days! :)

Hi, nonnie, and happy belated new year to you too! Happy belated birthday too, I hope you had a good day 😊

I don’t think you’re wrong in the least. I think you ought to be proud of yourself for prioritising your mental health when you needed to and for getting to know your limits and your anxiety. Sometimes we have to prioritise our mental health over school, and that’s okay. I did the same thing in 2020—I ended up taking a year longer than expected to finish my uni degree to work on my anxiety—and I don’t for a second regret that decision. You shouldn’t either, nonnie. Finishing your studies isn’t a race. But I hope you know it’s okay to feel left out in adulthood, especially as a young adult. I’m in my mid-20s and I still feel like that sometimes, although I have a feeling it gets better with time :)

Getting a bike doesn't sound like a bad idea to me at all. It's clearly something you're looking forward to, and something that would help you look forward to leaving the house more often. It sounds like you're doing a really good job of setting goals for yourself that feel fun and doable and that will help you continue overcoming your anxiety.

Your mum's arguments against you getting a bike, though, don't sound reasonable to me. If she'd said they didn't have money to afford it, I'd understand, but the “slashed tires” reply sounds like it could be an excuse to, as you said, sabotage your attempts to leave the house. And the whole “you should do things the way normal people do” and “you wouldn't need this kind of job if you did things the normal way” just sounds like judgmental crap and definitely like part of the abuse.

You deserve supportive parents who are proud of you for setting your own goals and planning for the future while taking your limits into consideration. You don't deserve to be made to feel like it's wrong to do things at your pace. You don't deserve to be compared to your peers your age. I'm sorry they're making things so hard for you, and I really hope you're proud of yourself for everything you've accomplished.

Good luck this 2022! Take care of yourself, and I hope you have many good hair days too hahaha. I need to cut mine soon, actually 😂

#ask #abuse #abuse tw #abusive parents #abusive mother