#ignore me just need to vent

[totallylesbians]

I really wish life had a reset or pause button. Or if it could just give you a hint for what to do next. It would make life a whole lot easier… because I’m lost and struggling and I fucking hate it.

#personal #ignore me #just needed to vent

[sharpbutsoft]

.

#anti taylor swift #anti ts #swifties love to act opressed when people make mean spitting memes about their favourite mulimillionaire #trust me i would Love to know nothing about her #but unfortunately none of you know how to tag ur posts #and so despite my best efforts i have seen takes such as #’making fun of taylor swift’s bad lyrics is #ableist against the mentally ill’ #and i personally think that is untrue and silly #but my opinion means nothing because i dont care about taylor swift? #convenient for them i guess #anywhoo ignore me! i just need 2 vent i dont want to argue

[scuderia-hamilton]

i’m happy for Lewis going to Ferrari and that he's leaving a toxic environment and i am so so excited to see him in red, in a team that wants him, but then sometimes i see a sad edit of him leaving and it’s just truly devastating.

how he always said that Mercedes is his family, that it’s the place where he wants to retire from, that he cannot imagine not being a Mercedes driver. he was so loyal, he gave everything he had to that team and somehow, it just still wasn’t good enough. they didn’t listen to him, they excluded him, made him feel unwanted and alienated, didn’t prioritize him at all. it’s been so clear that he wasn’t part of their future plans, which was just heartbreaking.

and when he decided to take back his career and go to a team that clearly appreciates him for all that he’s achieved, they spin this whole narrative around, going completely against him. suddenly everything was an issue and a problem, his age, his attitude, his commitment and determination.

and still, he didn’t say a single bad word about them, always expressing how hard of a decision it was. the hardest he ever had to make. he makes sure they know how grateful he is, how proud he is of their journey and shared history, that he'll miss them tremendously and it just doesn't feel reciprocated at all.

and i can’t imagine how drastically the situation must have worsened for him to decide this over winter break, in such a short period of time. he was always so full of hope regarding the team, no matter how horrible the situation was. something broke his unwavering support and hope.

he built a legacy way bigger than any world champion in the sport, he built a legacy that is bigger than f1. and it still wasn't enough. he felt like he had to leave first, before he got left behind. and that is just gut wrenching. he's the most successful formula 1 driver in history and they just couldn't appreciate him.

Mercedes was his family. until it wasn't.

#formula 1 #f1 #sir lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton #lh44 #mercedes amg f1 #scuderia ferrari #saw a sad edit of him and i needed to vent #i'm starting to like merc less and less but he always loved that team with his whole heart #and for him to leave this way it's just tragic #he deserved so much better #the fact that he had to beg to be listened to makes me genuinely nauseous #and they still ignored him even though he was right #i hope ferrari treats him the way he deserves to be treated

[yesloulou]

#im blogging like i don't have 2.3k today please scroll on and pretend you didn’t see this i just really need to vent a lil #the fact that 800 ppl apparently thought this made sense is so upsetting #max did not ignore carlos on the podium and if he did it would not have been funny #in the cool down room was NOT ​the wrong ferrari charles was fucked by his car which was a shame but carlos podiumed fair and square #max was also not pouting he gave carlos compliments like he would've any fellow racer he respects #finally that man was not down horrendous that day even by lstappen standard #these 'scholarships' are so so bad that they actually made me unblock il-p #she's so normal in comparison #tbd #idk #*

[night-creeps]

I love chilchuck as much as the next guy but why the fuck are so many anime onlys thirsting after him now? Like I don't want to see chilchuck porn I wanna see homoerotic farcille art and the fact that anime onlys are rly destroying the ecosystem of dunmeshi content is annoying

#sorry i just need to be a hater so that i dont vent post about how my life just got fucked up plz ignore me

[finniestoncrane]

also your girl is struggling. i'm putting this under a read more i just need to GET IT OUT and then i'm going to get back to writing because i've managed to get so much done today which is a small win

we got therapy tonight. trying to figure out how to be like "ok so there's this character called the riddler you remember i brought him up before YEAH ok so he's autistic, but also annoying. much like me. so i relate. HOWEVER. he has robots though, like he has consistent relationships. i have crippling self-doubt, anxiety, and a churning feeling in my stomach that no one likes me and i'm better off isolated because at least when i don't speak to anyone i don't have to worry about annoying them or wondering if they like me or comparing my relationship with them to every other relationship they have like a completely and totally normally sane person" without sounding like the MOST pathetic bitch ever and truly encapsulating that sad riddler vibe??

maybe i'll dress properly? i think my batman crocs are not the Mentally Well vibe i'm trying to achieve

or maybe the batman crocs/riddler t-shirt combo is exactly what i need. comfort uniform. strength in the blorbo

#PLEASE DO IGNORE ME i am going through it but in a really pathetic way? #i think the things i worry about are so boring and i worry about them constantly lmao #and i will be deleting this i just needed to OOF vent #finnie shouts into the void

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!! #im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

[jankwritten]

yall wanna know how fucked up my anxiety is about some shit

i scroll past a post that's about a topic i don't like. whatever, it's fine. i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't care about. that's normal.

i scroll past a video that's a topic i don't like or care about but the person presenting it is a person of color? i IMMEDIATELY feel immensely guilty and need to "compensate" by "proving" it wasn't because of race by also skipping other random posts, JUST IN CASE someone thinks I'm racist because I didn't want to watch a video on a topic I didn't like or care about, that happened to be presented by a person of color.

this just in on: the police in my brain are loud and i'm scared of them

#this is also because i grew up in a racist area and in that culture and my own ignorance i also Was Kinda Racist #but like in that way where you don't realize it's racism until you're out of it and now feel so ashamed that you forcefully block all #those memories just so you don't ever have to associate yourself with them ever again? #(mind you I was like. 15-16 and closeted and scared scared scared all the time so I acted like the Crowd and that was awful of me to do) #BUT NOW that i've grown and am learning and have taken classes on anthropology and all kinds of stuff I just feel like I notice my own shit #like TENFOLD now #it's my anxiety overthinking thing plus if anybody ever knows I could have done anything SLIGHTLY problematic the world will explode #plus my constant paranoia that someone is always watching me and just Knows that I'm Secretly a Bad Person (even though I don't think I am? #also I feel like I need to clarify that the kind of racism in my town wasn't like. klan shit. it was like very hidden racism? #it was like. kids casually doing black accents and making jokes with racist undertones. the kind of racism where race was always #the butt of the joke instead of an outright HATED thing. and I think that's why it was so hard to unlearn #it's like that thing where in order to stop wanting to kill yourself you have to stop joking about wanting to kill yourself #this has become a vent post accidentally i'm so sorry #this is just. one of my Major anxieties that engulfs me every day because of 1) anxiety 2) potential OCD 3) being a bad person in my past #this is another reason I fucking hate florida #because I just know if I had grown up in my home town in MI I would not have been raised in that environment #and it's my own fucking fault for falling into the crowd like that. #all this to say i traumatized myself and likely some people around me by being A Fucking Idiot when I was a kid #and now adult me is doing everything in their power to not ever be that person ever fucking again #tw vent post #tw racism #tw past racism #but im better now and I know my mistakes and I refuse to make them again #fuck florida for every fucking reason under the sun

[moveddazeddreams]

It's missing something that you can't remember hours today lads

#Getting real for a moment tho (vent ahead) #Not being able to remember things that the system still misses is scary #Like. you miss things because they ment stuff to you #You forgot something that ment something to you #And that's honestly what scares me the most about being part of a system #I think that this can get a bit more attention aswell #Rather than just the “I miss my own body”/“I miss source”/“I need to share my body”/“I dissociate a lot” things. #Which also ofc are part of it and a struggle #But the memory issues?? That's what scares me the most #Anyways #Ignore the tags I was just trying to be silly #Jack harkness posts #Dazeddreams posts #did system #Osdd system #did osdd #plural system #traumagenic system #plural blog

[shellxrls]

i AM GOING TO SHOOT MYSELF

#guys sorry i’m tweaking so hard rn what the fuck #what the fuck omg #leave me alone what did i even do 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #ok ignore this i’ll bounce back within 5 minutes i just needed to vent rq #tw vent

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

does anyone have any tips on how not to be a crippling perfectionist about your writing?? i have been staring at the same five paragraphs of the next chapter of four walls for a whole week and i've reached the point where i actually want to defenestrate my own laptop

#i've got the later parts of this chapter and a good chunk of the next one basically done #but this particular section is slowly driving me insane #UGH #why do i write characters with complex and conflicted emotions #it makes for a very complex and conflicted writing experience #(which i'm bitching about rn i know but i also wouldn't give it up for the world. it's just. a lot sometimes) #i end up second guessing myself constantly #also i haven't written anything this long for a good five years and i think the challenges of that #and the challenges of making a longer piece all tie together and work as one are really starting to set in #anyway sorry please feel free to ignore this mess of a post #i just needed to have a vent before returning to my keyboard and trying to make sense of alex's foolish little head #thanks to anyone who read their way though all this rambling 😅 #writing stuff #lulu posts

[trans-axolotl]

having a lot of thoughts about eating disorders + how some of us end up developing chronic illnesses directly because of the physical effects of our eating disorders and how Cruel doctors can be about that and just trying to untangle so much shame and blame from that experience rn

#personal #vent #eating disorder tw #disability #idk. i don't quite have the words for this right now but #had another meeting with my doctor where they said yeah its your fault that you are now physically disabled for life #(literally i was chronically ill and physically disabled before i even developed an eating disorder because of CAH and comorbidities but #(they love to ignore that !) #which is like. i do not tie any morality to health and it should just be #a completely neutral statement. that my eating disorder caused other physical complications #they said i'm going to have orthostatic problems the rest of my life. #'since your gastroparesis was caused by your eating disorder that means there is no point in treating it' #which is so funny bc literally every time i see her my dietitan wants me to get a feeding tube! lmfao!!!! #i am actually doing pretty well in recovery in terms of meeting my energy needs through food. but i stopped being able to orally supplement #so my dietitan wants a tube for ARFID nutrient reasons. supplemental nutrition etc etc. and she thinks it will help gastroparesis symptoms #they also think i have osteoporosis and want to test me for that #when i had to use forearm crutches/ wheelchair because of physical ed complications doctors were SO fucking rude even though they were #the ones PRESCRIBING IT!!! like!!! you all are the ones telling me i HAVE to do this! #idk i also have a friend with permanent brain damage. from seizures in the refeeding process #and her doctors are so fucking rude to her all the time. #it makes me so mad

[quinnyundertow]

In other news car just cost 1600$ when I was expecting 900$ ! Can’t wait to cry on the way home 🤭

#it’s always something #ignore me #I just needed to vent