#if you wear a mask and are evil or at least morally grey? i love you forever | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

judasisgayriot · 1 year

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I’ve probably fallen for the front Nathan puts up but maybe I’ve fallen for the consequences of his actions while masking? Idk. Maybe it’d help if someone elaborated (aka pls feel free to go off about Nathan but I still may end up disagreeing depending on the results)

Ohhh my god I didn’t mean to write so much but I have so uhh fair warning I have Feelings on the subject:

I have a lot of complicated feelings about Nathan the same way I have a lot of complicated feelings about Heroes, lol. Don't get me wrong, though I may seem like a grumpy fucker, the show holds a v special place in my heart and has for 16 years, it does mean a lot to me but at the same time there are whole chunks of it that I find just bad/stupid/infuriating, and that also colours my perspective on characters too -

I actually think villain!Nathan could have been done well/interestingly, for example, and the building blocks were there - Nathan is someone who is incredibly self-loathing about his power in particular and believes it makes him some kind of freak, and makes comments to similar effect in s1 about how he thinks they should all be locked up etc, so I can see how he could slide into that villain lets-lock-everyone-up thing if done well, but the way it's done in s3 is a mess and comes out of nowhere and makes no fucking sense lol, like he’s misguidedly going along with his dad’s idea of giving people powers, then peter knocks over his Vats of Stuff and for no clear narrative reason Nathan decides to do a 180 and like dob everyone in to the President lol, like it could have been done well as a “tragic self-hating villain who you kind of understand but his path of destruction is still bad” thing, not a “I guess he’s just an Evil-Now Kind of Metaphorical Racist” lol.

so I'm like ehhh *handwave* whatever, I don't even think of it as, like, in character, as opposed to the General Jerkery he displays in say, s1, which I do think is representative of him, or at least the front he puts up -

ALSO, it's not that I think 'Nathan is constantly masking/pretending to be someone he's not (which is true) so therefore he did nothing wrong' - he still hurt people and did morally questionable things lol, that doesn't absolve him. I just think it's easy to see why he is the way he is and it adds a lot to his character. Nathan has layers! Nathan is like an onion! Oh no I'm writing an essay! Lol.

At the same time I'd like to emphasise that despite being a Proud Nathan Apologist, I'm not like "Nathan has never done anything wrong ever in his life!" - he can be a jerk and a shitty person, he's done plenty of Bad Things and fucks up near-constantly, and I actually love him more for it - I love him bc while I find him deeply sad and sympathetic, he's a very complicated, morally grey character (well, I'd argue morally *confused*, lol) with so much compacted self-loathing that he takes it out on other people too, and that's Bad, and yet he's still so, so tragic to me (he's my poor little meow meow OK, I get to woobify him, SOMEONE has to - half the fandom are Sylar apologists which is their god-given Blorbo Right which I will defend, but I don't rly care for him so I'm just like *eyeroll* well *I* don't give a fuck that he's Sad or forgive him that easily lol. So I do 100% see the other side of the coin lmao.)

Anyway all that said (oh my god that was a long preamble sorry), it's easy to see how people miss it if they're not that interested in Nathan as a character tbh bc I think you need the context of like, s2/early s3 Nathan to see the full picture, but basically all of his arc in s1 is about how Nathan is wearing a mask all the time of being this kind of Jerkass Alpha Male I'm a Totally Normal Man that he's been expected to be his whole life

(see the way Angela blatantly manipulates and controls his whole life and simultaneously treats him like he's about 5 years old and a stubborn child to be given orders ("that's my boy") and told off, while also being vaguely creepy and clingy in a "you're the man of the house now" kinda way, see "everything we are is what people expect us to be, if you take that away nothing means anything" and his admission that without Peter he doesn't even really have a sense of self, cf. his COMPLETE spiral into rock bottom in s2 without him, see later in s3 Arthur's "I made you" and Nathan's admission that everything he's ever done in life has been because of his dad - becoming a lawyer, becoming a politician (which I genuinely think Nathan doesn't even LIKE or want to do lol. I'm serious, it’s presented as this key facet of his character but I don't think Nathan is even that Ambitious deep down or particularly, like, wants to be President or whatever - it's all what he keeps being TOLD he should want, which he goes along with), like even who he was set up to marry, apparently. His life is being like, puppeteered from his fuckin birth by his terrifyingly morally bankrupt parents who experimented on him and "wanted to be better than God". Jaysus. Ahem anyway this parenthetical got LONG-)

Anyway his arc is about how actually, that isn't the person he actually is at all. He feels like he has to be this Persona of Alpha Ambitious Arrogant Very Normal Heterosexual High-Flying (loool) Successful Manly Man but actually, the main choice he makes, which changes everything, is that even though this has all been conditioned into him from day 1, he does what he's told like a good little attack dog, he *chooses* Peter/love (and aren't they the same thing? Awww) over all of that, precisely when no-one expects him to. Of course, Claire is no small factor in this (see: how his parents LET HIM THINK HIS CHILD WAS DEAD FOR 14 YEARS, how he does clearly want to see her but then gets too overwhelmed to go through with it and conceal-don't-feel nearly cries in the back of the car on his way back (even tho he rightfully looks bad in Claire's perception at that moment), how Angela literally says that she knows that deep down under his gruff exterior "you're a sap" and if he sees her "sad weepy eyes", "you're gone, you're finished". Like Yeah, precisely lol). It's another tangent but she really is the one who makes him realise there IS a way to break free from everything that's been suddenly heaped on him re: The Plan in s1 (shout out to my babygirl Claire I love you so much Claire mwah).

Anyway there's that, but then you start to see just hoooow Mentally Ill Nathan blatantly, actually is (plus, very clearly ND/autistic to me in a lot of ways, which the masking is a serious part of too). In S2 obviously he's in just a complete black hole of depression, is hallucinating his Burned Self as this kind of conceptualisation of all the things he hates about himself, and literally self-harms because of it (punching the mirror), and then in early s3, when he's literally died and been brought back to life, has a full-on mental breakdown and is just literally so fragile and vulnerable and it makes me so sad - never mind the weird religious mania and delusions, he's terrified bc he's seeing visions of a man he hates and fears (which yeah is just his dad fucking with him deliberately, but like - yeah that’s WORSE) - no one really seems to like, care if he's OK at all, he pleads with Future Peter to tell him what "the right thing to do" is because he literally does not know (see "morally confused" as I said earlier, he straight up doesn't have much of an innate conception of what the "right thing" even is) and gets basically no help, like this man is NOT OK and to top it all off he has a complete mental breakdown LIVE ON TELEVISION and gets handpicked to become a Senator literally because someone witnesses that and decides that he looks like he'd be easy to manipulate and control (like, He Is Not In An OK Place! Let The Man Rest! Get Him Some Therapy, from a Person who Knows About Powers Preferably so He Doesn't Have To Mask Further! I'm So Angry Oh My God!) and like. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway wrapping back around to the original question I guess (again I… don't know how this got this long. Clearly I Feel Things About This lol) I feel like a lot of people just take that surface-level Nathan, the one who's just a kinda callous jerk sometimes and doesn't really have much to redeem him, at face value and. hate him. and don't like Look Underneath! At the Layers! He's So Tragic and textually there was really no way for him to like, Live and Be OK. Like the only road for him was death and he didn't (despite all the jokes about how many times Nathan dies lol) get a Chance to get past all of that and feel, like, Relatively OK, Ever. Oh god you can fit so much repression inside this man *slaps Nathan's head* and then he kept being repressed despite tentative attempts to like Come Out of The Metaphorical Power Closet (sidenote Nathan is ostensibly meant to be like textually straight but he has literally such a Closeted Gay Man storyline that it's almost textbook 1-to-1 allegory. That's A Long Meta For Another Time though) and then he died :( and maybe he did a few war crimes too but that whole thing was stupid, man, idc

This is like fucking ungodly long now lmao and you DON'T have to read all of this but like. Anyway if you still just don't rly like Nathan or care about him as a character, 's all fine and I'm not gonna convince you otherwise bc everyone has Faves and Unfaves and Whatever, Blehs. I clearly just have a lot of fkn investment in Nathan's Layers, lmao.

#asks #anon #long post //#like. really long. like I just wrote 1700 words about my blorbo long. i have no defence #nathan petrelli #heroes #heroes ramblings #meta #am i an angel or a monster #you don’t have to agree with me of course lol. i kind of love him because he’s bad. but he’s also good actually. it’s complicated.#on fb we’re ‘it’s complicated’. same with me and the show as a whole Lmao #anyway I clearly fuckin care don’t I. now I look way less cool (Jk I was never cool)#I know it’s literally not that deep. i know. i am a fool. lol #the fact that literally no one cares Anni 💀💀💀

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doomxdriven · 2 years

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AMAGAI ISN’T EVIL

smol (but not so smol) meta/word vomit-thing: I’m not going to sit here and tell you that Amagai is a Good Guy™ because he most certainly isn’t, but at the same time he isn’t the worst person out there, far from it actually. Sure, Amagai entered the Gotei 13 with dishonest and malicious intentions and as a captain he still has those dishonest and malicious intentions, and one day, at least in his Main-Verse, he is going to turn on his allies and possibly his friends when he b-lines for vengeance against those who are responsible for his father’s death, but that’s as far as his bullshit goes.

Amagai doesn’t want to destroy the soul society or Gotei 13 (only central 46 really and honestly can you blame him– as a institution they’re corrupt and outdated as hell) or take it over, or destroy the world, or become the soul king or anything wild and severely malicious like that– Amagai just wants his vengeance, for the damn death of his FATHER. Amagai actually makes honest attempts to improve the Gotei 13 and definitely strives to improve his own Division. Amagai might do some questionable things (by soul society standards) from time to time, and he’ll definitely do some questionable shit when the time for his vengeance comes, but at no point is he or will he be truly evil. Morally Grey? Definitely. Despicable? Definitely. A traitor? A liar? Misguided? Definitely definitely definitely, but not evil. This is shown in the Alternate Main Verse for Amagai I have too, where he has attempted to carry out his vengeance but realized the shit he did wrong, and what does he do? Amagai doesn’t gloat or embrace his actions or try to explain away his shit– he understands what happened, he feels deep shame, he owns up to what he did, and heads off to try and atone for his own bullshit!

Then there’s just his general personality? Like sure, Amagai is hiding his hatred for the people associated with his father’s death, and by default he isn’t always being 100% up front with his colleagues– he is sort of wearing a mask in that regard, hiding his true endgame, and he can be kind of ruthless and manipulative with that shit, but strip away his secret vengeance complex and he really is just a friendly, laid back, fun loving dude who just occasionally bends or breaks the rules to get shit done, and with the latter he oftentimes does it to help other people!

But yeah Amagai really isn’t evil, misguided, detestable even, but not evil. I’d really peg him as, Chaotic Neutral, if anything….

#headcanons: amagai

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bookkeeper-babe · 3 years

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Book Review

Okay, so this book took me a little while to get into. At first, I didn't find the main character relatable but she very, very quickly grew on me. Once you dive into this book you realize that it is setting up a lot of world-building and character development that will unfold throughout the series. The tension in this book between the two main characters is palpable. Truth be told I am a sucker for a morally grey, alpha male so it was not too difficult for our male lead to cut out my heart and run away with it. I loved the lore that is found in this book too, the Fae are dark, manipulative, and beautiful... well some of them at least! This is a book with a sexual undertone, while there is no smut in this installment, it racks in the tension. Reader beware that whenever the Fae are involved things can get a little dark. Overall I highly recommend this book to those who like dark fantasy with some romance. Title: DARKFEVER

Author: Karen Marie Moning

Series: Book 1 of 11

Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟

Spice Rating: 🌶🌶

Synopsis: 'My philosophy is pretty simple: any day nobody's trying to kill me is a good day in my book. I haven't had many good days lately.' MacKayla Lane's life is good. She has great friends, a decent job, and a car that only breaks down every other week or so. In other words, she's your perfectly ordinary twenty-first-century woman. Or so she thinks ...until something extraordinary happens. When her sister is murdered, leaving a single clue to her death - a cryptic message on Mac's cell phone - Mac journeys to Ireland in search of answers. The quest to find her sister's killer draws her into a shadowy realm where nothing is as it seems, where good and evil wear the same treacherously seductive mask. She is soon faced with an even greater challenge: staying alive long enough to learn how to handle a power she had no idea she possessed - a gift that allows her to see beyond the world of man, into the dangerous realm of the Fae ...

Genre: Fantasy, Dark Fantasy, Urban Fantasy TW: Violence, Sexual Assualt

Favorite quote(s): “Barrons laughed again. "And there, my dear Fio, you make one of Womankind's greatest mistakes: Falling in love with a man's potential. We so rarely share the same view of it and even more rarely care to achieve it. Stop pining for the man you think I could be -- and take a good, long, hard look at the one I am.” ― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever “I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself. Movies show you the pink house. A good book tells you there's a pink house and lets you paint some of the finishing touches, maybe choose the roof style,park your own car out front. My imagination has always topped anything a movie could come up with. Case in point, those darned Harry Potter movies. That was so not what that part-Veela-chick, Fleur Delacour, looked like.” ― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

#book review #darkfever #Jericho Barrons #fever series #dark fantasy #fantasy books #karen marie moning #Moning Maniacs #urban fantasy #book blog #Mac Lane #Ms. Lane #the fae #ireland #book blogger #bookkeeper babe

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raikagoenkaku · 4 years

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Amagai doesn’t want to destroy the soul society or Gotei 13 (only central 46 really and honestly can you blame him-- as a institution they’re corrupt and outdated as hell) or take it over, or destroy the world, or become the soul king or anything wild and severely malicious like that-- Amagai just wants his vengeance, for the damn death of his FATHER. Amagai actually makes honest attempts to improve the Gotei 13 and definitely strives to improve his own Division. Amagai might do some questionable things (by soul society standards) from time to time, and he’ll definitely do some questionable shit when the time for his vengeance comes, but at no point is he or will he be truly evil. Morally Grey? Definitely. Despicable? Definitely. A traitor? A liar? Misguided? Definitely definitely definitely, but not evil. This is shown in the Alternate Main Verse for Amagai I have too, where he has attempted to carry out his vengeance but realized the shit he did wrong, and what does he do? Amagai doesn’t gloat or embrace his actions or try to explain away his shit-- he understands what happened, he feels deep shame, he owns up to what he did, and heads off to try and atone for his own bullshit!

Then there’s just his general personality? Like sure, Amagai is hiding his hatred for the people associated with his father’s death, and by default he isn’t always being 100% up front with his colleagues-- he is sort of wearing a mask in that regard, hiding his true endgame, and he can be kind of ruthless and manipulative with that shit, but strip away his secret vengeance complex and he really is just a friendly, laid back, fun loving dude who just occasionally bends or breaks the rules to get shit done, and with the latter he oftentimes does it to help other people!

But yeah Amagai really isn’t evil, misguided, detestable even, but not evil. I’d really peg him as, Chaotic Neutral, if anything....

#;all our secrets they are tailored trouble (HEADCANON);#//yee #//i should probably write some starters or smth tbh but maybe ill do that tomorrow..#//gotta get thru work tho lmao..

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half-anidiot · 4 years

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if you wanna cry make sure they never see it

im pretty proud of this so im gonna post it

title taken from boys will be bugs by cavetown; isabelle and james belong to @chinchinashi

word count: 3,528

content warning - transphobia, dysphoria, manipulation, brief racism, implied child abuse

Kieran sighed as they pulled a tank top over their binder - layer number one for the day. She hadn’t even arrived yet and their stomach was already rolling, something akin to wasps angrily whipping around in their midsection. The feeling was too violent and fierce for the delicate touch of butterfly wings, but the heavy buzz and vibration of wasps’ furiously flapping wings as they zipped to and fro like tiny yellow bullets fit almost too well. A white button up that was donned slowly (as if the more Kieran dragged their feet the more time it would take for Her to get here) was layer number two. Kieran inhaled slowly in an attempt to quell both their nerves and the heat of rage that flowed through their veins before exhaling as they began to button the shirt. With shaky hands, they moved upward, trying to quiet the one very loud thought that thrummed through their mind:

She shouldn’t be anywhere near James.

A shudder shook through Kieran’s body as they reached the top button, leaving it undone as not to choke themself. After everything James had been through by Her hand, Kieran would rather eat bugs (yes you heard them right) than have to look Her in the eye and feign politeness. As they tugged a loose black sweatshirt over their head (layer three), Kieran allowed themself to indulge in a fantasy that involved Kieran decking Her before kicking Her out of their apartment. The image of James crying popped into their head and quickly crumbled the thought to dust that Kieran begrudgingly blew away.

Finally, after tugging on a pair of black jeans, they walked out of the room with a hand running down their face like it was trying to drain all of the swirling thoughts running frantically through Kieran’s brain with it. They traversed down the hallway, socked feet carefully avoiding the creaky floorboard right outside of the bedroom door. Kieran stopped in front of where a framed picture of James and Kieran at a carnival hung on the wall painted the lightest shade of grey. It was exploding with colors - cotton candy pink, the bright green of neon signs, and the bustling, blurred forms of walking people wearing purple, blue, and ketchup red. One of their friends had managed to catch the exact second James jumped onto Kieran’s back. A grin the size of Texas was painted across James’s features, and Kieran could practically hear the laugh echoing from the picture. Kieran, on the other hand, was trying to keep their snow cone from falling to the ground beneath them as their mouth hung open in surprise. It was the perfect picture, filled with happiness and excitement that even the snapshot conveyed perfectly.

A frown tilted the edges of Kieran’s mouth downwards.

Even just letting Her into the house felt like it would taint any joy that it contained.

“Kieran?”

They blinked out of the reverie they had wrapped themself into at James’s call of their name before continuing towards the living room. Kieran tucked their hands into their pockets as they reached the end of the hall, watching as James moved the jar that contained Fred, the evil little bugger, from where it usually rested on the living room coffee table. James looked up at their entrance, face breaking out into a smile.

“Hey, Kier,” he chirped happily, eyes twinkling with a golden glow, “Where do you think I should put Fred?”

Kieran’s nose wrinkled in distaste, scrunching up the freckles that were splattered across their face like paint. “I think he belongs in a fire, personally.”

James frowned, a pout pulling out his bottom lip and yanking at the strings of Kieran’s heart. As he carefully placed Fred’s jar on the small table (really more of a stool) that held the key bowl next to the entrance, he said, “That’s mean. Fred has done nothing to you.”

“He exists,” they muttered under their breath as they walked over to the beige couch and flopped down gracelessly. Kieran’s mind began whirring again, gears spinning as their thoughts went into overdrive about what could happen today.

James came over and threw himself into their lap, prompting Kieran to, without thinking really, pull their hands from the confines of their jeans and wrap around his smaller form to cradle him to their chest. James snuggled in comfortably, resting his cheek on their shoulder. “I can see you thinking, Kieran, but you don’t have to worry! What could possibly go wrong?”

Kieran frowned, fighting back the sharp words that longed to claw themselves up and out of their throat. They could not, however, hold back one last attempt to get James to change his mind. “James, I...I really don’t think this is a good idea.”

James lifted his head up to look into Kieran’s dark eyes, a small frown of his own falling upon his lips. “I love her, Kieran. I want her to meet you.”

That was when the doorbell rang.

James lit up, an excited “I’ll get it” leaving his mouth as he scampered off of Kieran’s legs to run to the door. Kieran exhaled shakily, standing to follow behind him. The door was tugged open and James laughed, a joyous sound that was so at odds from what Kieran was feeling that it almost hurt to hear.

There She stood in all her dark glory. Tall. Lanky. All limbs and pale, scarred skin stretched tightly over bones that seemed to jut out in some places. Her face was a mask of rage that seemed permanently etched into her features, worn in by the winds of time and framed by heat damaged black hair and split ends that went well past Her chest. She was rough where James was soft, shadowed where he was bright - such a sharp contrast from the person Kieran had come to love so dearly that they were shocked at the relation the two held.

Isabelle Morales was the kind of person mothers would usher their children away from, warn them not to talk to, and give side-eyed glances as they passed by. Isabelle Morales was at their doorstep and Kieran had never wanted someone gone as much as they had her.

“Mom!”

“Hello dear,” James’s mother purred, a smile sharp as knives and dripping with malicious intent gracing her face. A moment passed and the smile slipped slightly, turning into something that, somehow, was even more dangerous than before. “Well, are we just going to stand here, or am I allowed inside?”

Kieran wanted to say “no, you’re not” and slam the door shut in her face, but instead they numbly stepped to the side with James, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady themself. Isabelle stepped in, carrying a cloud of noxious hate and fury with her. Kieran had to hold in a shudder. She studied their apartment with a sneer half forming on her lips, pulling at the thin sleeves of the white shawl she wore over a simple black dress.

“Well this is rather...nice. Almost too nice.”

Kieran could see the furrow forming on James’s brow from the corner of their vision and began to talk before he could say the thought Kieran knew he was thinking: how could anything be too nice?

“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms. Morales,” Kieran said smoothly, holding out a hand that, by some miracle, they managed to keep from trembling.

Isabelle stared at the offered hand distastefully before dragging her gaze up and down Kieran in a way that made their skin crawl. The feeling of her eyes on them was like ants scurrying across their body, tiny feet taking them through crevices and into cracks where no one should have been looking. They would burrow their way in through pores and discover secrets that Kieran had long since repressed so that not even they could find them.

“Ah, yes...you.” The disgust that she was able to pack into those three words practically knocked Kieran over. This woman’s voice alone was toxic, but the inflections so subtly placed to convey every ounce of her opinion, yet leave just enough room for doubt was what really boggled your mind. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit feminine looking?”

The question hit Kieran like a slap to the face. It was an offhanded comment, one that, in normal situations, wouldn’t have affected her target as much (Kieran had heard the unsaid “for a boy” she had not tagged onto the end of her sentence) as it currently was. But for Kieran, someone who had spent the majority of their life discouraging any sort of label related to “female” to be branded upon them, it would have been kinder if Isabelle had simply hit him.

Not that anything about the woman in front of them was kind.

Her thoughts were like barbed wire - twisted, sharp, and cutting at anyone who came anywhere near them. They caught at Kieran’s skin and ripped at it, pulling back the flesh to reveal the fear and insecurities beneath. Kieran’s hand started to tremble where it lay on James’s back, and he gave them a look of concern before his attention was stolen by his mother’s presumptuous question of, “Well, are you going to show me around or am I to just stand here?”

“Oh,” James chirped, the brightness that usually painted every word he spoke dimming at the end of the syllable before it picked back up again. “Sure!”

“Shoes,” Kieran said quietly, mouth barely moving. If Isabelle wanted to poke her nose where it did not belong, the very least she could do was respect the house rules and remove her shoes before walking inside.

“Sorry, what was that?”

“Could you take your shoes off please? We don’t want to track dirt all over the house.”

“And why,” Isabelle began, voice tilting up in cruel amusement, “Would I do that?” A mockery of a grin slid onto her face as she flashed her teeth at Kieran. Her expression promised danger and was edged with something so vicious Kieran felt a shiver run down their spine. Something cold and scaly stretched from where it was curled up in their stomach and the urge to puke crawled its way up their throat. “That’s one of those Asian traditions right? Sorry, but I’m not Chinese. I don’t follow those.”

Kieran felt that old anger from their highschool years rise from where it was slumbering in their mind. Kieran wasn’t even Chinese for God’s sake. “It-it’s not a matter of tradition, I just don’t want di - ”

Isabelle waved a dismissive hand. “James can clean it up later anyway, not that big of a deal.”

Practically choking on their breath, Kieran blinked twice in horror before croakily demanding, “Excuse me?”

James placed one small hand on their arm, a smile that did not reach his eyes drawn across his face in tight lines. The smile was tearing at the edges - too wide, too full, too fake for it to fit on James’s delicate features properly. “It’s okay, Kieran. I can do it.”

“I just-it’s not a matter of whether you can do it or not J - ”

“Darling,” Isabelle interrupted, eyes glued onto Kieran’s, as if simply looking into them would reveal the secrets that they buried deep beneath the inky surface. “A tour?”

James nodded vigorously, stepping away from Kieran’s touch to lead his mother into the house. Her heels clicked against the wooden floor of their apartment. The sound echoed through Kieran’s head as they followed the pair around quietly. Nothing Isabelle said was terribly bad, just sarcastically scathing (“oh how quaint” and “well, that’s...nice” being the two most prominent phrases) until they reached the hallway and came across the picture Kieran had been studying earlier.

“Well now, this just won’t do,” Isabelle said brightly, as if her next sentence was to help them. “James, you look far too happy in this picture.”

Kieran whipped their head up from where they had been studying their feet in time to catch James’s expression stuttering on his face. “What...too happy?” The bewilderment that was heavy in every word made Kieran’s heart ache.

“It’s not good for you to be that happy, or have you forgotten that?”

James’s smile slid right off of his face and fell to the floor where it shattered into a million pieces. Kieran could see the shards lying on the ground in front of his feet, and the pure sorrow that James held on his innocent face had them shaking. “No, mom,” he said in timid, quiet acceptance, “I remember.”

“Good,” Isabelle said in a voice so sickly sweet, Kieran could practically taste it on their tongue. “I would hate for you to have conveniently forgotten everything I taught you when you were younger. Or maybe,” she said, turning to eye Kieran with a gaze hot enough to melt steel, “Your boyfriend taught you otherwise?”

James gave a soft, hesitant giggle, innocently announcing, “Kieran’s not a boy.”

For the first time that night, Kieran saw confusion make its way slowly into the glare that Isabelle seemed to permanently hold on her face. “A girl?”

“No, Kieran isn’t a girl or a boy.”

Kieran felt the floor drop out from underneath them as Isabelle’s fake smile turned into a sneer of pure and utter disgust. The scaly thing in Kieran’s stomach began to laugh, knowing as much as they did on what was coming next. “So what, she’s an abomination? What kind of twisted thing did you drag in, James?”

Their thoughts began to shift, going from slow murmurings of anger to the high pitched whines of self loathing and panic. Their thoughts gouged into their mind like jagged metal, leaving behind bleeding gashes until their psyche was weeping and screaming for help. This wasn’t happening - Kieran was supposed to be past this. Kieran wasn’t supposed to have to deal with this ever again.

“Disgusting freak. I can’t believe you let her touch you James.”

Kieran stood there, silent, eyes shifting to James to see if he would do something - anything in their defense. James opened and closed his mouth, looking like a fish out of water before stammering, “No, mom, Kieran is-I-I...they’re - ”

Isabelle purred in a low, malice filled tone, “James, you really have forgotten everything. What did I tell you when you were younger? I know what’s best for you. I know what’s right.”

“But - ”

“James,” she snapped, voice losing any pretense of being caring or worried for James in an instant.

He stopped, eyes turning downcast. Kieran felt their heart crack, not even bothering to fight back the wave of hopelessness that crashed over their head and pulled them deep beneath the surface of old memories. Years old waves of hatred slammed into them with enough force that their chest practically caved in.

“Sorry, mom.”

Kieran shriveled up where they were standing shoulders hunching inward to protect them from the onslaught they knew was coming.

Dinner came with a brutality that turned Kieran practically mute. The tremors that had shook their body had long since stilled, anxiety being replaced by a heavy weight that was slowly hammering them into the ground. They hadn’t even opened their mouth since the hallway. Instead, Kieran sat there and took every verbal blow Isabelle threw their way, not having the nerve to even look at James despite the worried glances they could feel him throwing their way.

“I mean, God, James,” Isabelle, shoving a bite of the pasta Kieran had made earlier into her mouth, said with such a self assured air that even Kieran was beginning to believe the shit she spewed, “What are you even doing with this thing? She isn’t good for you, putting thoughts in your head that something like her is okay. She’s out of her mind.”

Kieran poked at a noodle on their plate, waiting until she left and they could go hide in the bathroom to have a breakdown. Shadows wrapped around their head and whispered in their ears things they believed they had long since left behind. They hissed in low tones, parroting what Isabelle whipped at them with a sick glee flooding every horrible syllable.

“Do you even realize how much you’re hurting me by staying with her?” She scoffed, not looking like she was in pain at all. “Don’t eat. It’s too good for you. You make me sick James.”

Kieran snapped their head up, watching as James set his fork down with a gentle click of metal against ceramic. He didn’t look upset, or even surprised, just accepting and sad - like he absorbed every word she spat and turned them inwards. They realized with a start that James believed her.

“Get out of my house,” they told her quietly, not missing the amusement that glinted in the lone eye she turned on them. It was gold like Jame’s, but there was an undercurrent of dust that ran through it, dimming the would be bright color into something rusty and burned through with decades of damage.

“Excuse me?”

“Get out of my house,” Kieran snarled quietly, ignoring James’s small noise of protest. There were tears turning his honey eyes cloudy and all Kieran could think was to get her out before she made them spill over onto his cheeks.

Isabelle laughed. “This is ridiculous, James. She thinks you actually deserve to eat - ”

“Out,” Kieran shouted, standing up and shoving their chair back. It screeched against the floor in protest, the whine ringing in their ears as they watched Isabelle slowly rise, still chuckling. “Get out before I call the police.”

“Do you see how aggressive she is? You should come back and live with me darling. It would be so much better for you.”

Kieran practically saw red as they grabbed her arm and began to drag her out of the house forcibly. Her protests and growls were overpowered by James screaming. His hands fruitlessly tugged at Kieran’s free hand, begging them to let her go, that she didn’t know what she was talking about, that she was sick.

“Kieran, Kieran please,” he sobbed, the sound stabbing Kieran’s soul over and over, tearing gaping holes into what was already damaged. “It’s my fault she doesn’t know any better! Kieran, please! She’s sick, it’s my fault, please!”

With water beginning to line their eyes, Kieran ignored him, ignored Isabelle, ignored everything but the grip they had on a thin arm that managed to put up more of a fight than they had been expecting. The noises of the scene swirled around their head like a tornado of shrieks and threats and pleas, tearing up every coherent thought Kieran had but to get her out. They reached the front door, and with one final shove, Kieran pushed Isabelle out. They took one second to absorb the offense and rage painted across her face in streaks of bruise purple, frostbite blue, and blistered red before slamming the door in her face.

James threw himself towards the wooden barrier behind Kieran, but they stepped into his path, catching his flying body and holding him against their chest. He cried, he begged, he screamed, clawing at Kieran's arms to get them to let him go to his mom, but Kieran held steady. It didn't matter that there were tears carving craters in their cheeks, it didn't matter that they were breathing so fast the room was beginning to spin - all that mattered was keeping James safe and happy.

That was all that had ever mattered.

Eventually, James tired himself out and wilted against Kieran's chest, broken whimpers leaving his lips every few seconds. The sounds ripped Kieran's heart out of their chest and threw it on the ground where it fractured into tiny pieces that could be crushed underfoot. They held James as they slid down the door, cradling him against their chest before tucking their face between his shoulder and his neck. Kieran felt and heard James gasp at the wetness that fell onto the warm skin, but did not have a chance to question it before Kieran inhaled raggedly.

And sobbed.

The noises forced their way up Kieran's throat, ugly, wet, and broken. It had been over ten years since Kieran had last cried in front of anyone, and they had not planned on breaking that streak. But with James in their arms, making such hurt noises and knowing they were the cause, it was too much. The flimsy dam Kieran had holding back their emotions broke, and everything came flooding in with a vicious vengeance from being repressed.

Kieran had been falling down that endless spiral all night, getting lost in the void of hate, disgust, and fear. All they had really wanted was for someone to pull them free.

James's hands were dancing along Kieran's shoulders and back in a panicked tango, distressed whispers of, "I'm sorry, I love you" flitting from his lips nonstop. Kieran just cried and cried, the unspoken thought crossing their mind more than once:

If you really loved me, why did you just watch?

#cried twice while writing this #yell at chi for me will ya #this aint happy folks #tw transphobia #tw dysphoria #tw manipulation #tw implied abuse #tw racism #angst #poor kieran #poor james #hurt no comfort #chi's SUPPOSED to write the comfort for this #but add pain she must :(

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jbuffyangel · 5 years

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The Code: Arrow 7x21 Review (Living Proof)

You guys know me pretty good by now, so it should shock no one that I love this episode. Tommy takes a vacation from heaven to argue morality with Oliver while he’s stuck in a life or death situation. SOLD.

Of course, there are problems in “Living Proof” just like any other episode of Arrow. Unfortunately, Olicity is separated for most of it, but they are each struggling with the best way to protect their family. A common theme this year is Oliver and Felicity being on separate, but same trajectories. They reach a conclusion on an individual level, so they can come together and make decisions as a couple. “Living Proof” is a perfect set up for Arrow’s season finale and Olicity’s final episode.

Let’s dig in...

Oliver and Tommy

TOOOOOMMMMYYYY!!!!

I’m always Laurel when I see Tommy Merlyn. I’m not kidding when I say I love him. It’s not just nostalgia of Arrow days long past. Tommy had a profound impact on Oliver and his journey. Oliver has lost a lot of loved ones, but Tommy’s death really changed his mind about how he should go about saving the city and what it truly means to be a vigilante. Tommy sparked Oliver’s desire to be more – to be a hero. So, it makes absolute sense Tommy appears to Oliver now to deal with his latest morality crisis.

Emiko blew up a building and Oliver is trapped underneath a giant piece of concrete. He’s uncomfortably close to some rebar too and the Tommy parallels are anything, but subtle. Oliver is literally in the same life and death situation that befell is best friend six years ago. Are the writers putting Oliver in this position, so his “hallucination” of Tommy makes sense? Perhaps… or perhaps something deeper happening unbeknownst to Oliver.

Source: smoakmonster

I firmly believe Colin was not allowed to grow a beard while on Arrow because it would overload whatever hotness Stephen Amell was bringing to the table and since he’s the lead that cannot be allowed. I know my truth.

Source: smoakmonster

Tommy psychoanalyzing Oliver’s mind to explain his appearance is a hoot. Hallucination, concussion or just some good old-fashioned PTSD are all on the table, except for the one that’s the actual truth. But we aren’t there yet. We weren’t wrong to notice the similarities between Oliver’s current situation and Tommy’s death though. There’s always a reason my friends.

Source: smoakmonster

Oliver escapes from underneath the concrete and Tommy helps with his dislocated shoulder. We enjoy some of Tommy’s patented banter (I missed him so), but he’s here to talk about family - sisters to be specific.

HA! I love Oliver’s “Don’t sass me look.” At least everyone is agreed this storyline would be far more entertaining if Thea went all evil. Instead, we have Emiko and Tommy wants to know how Oliver is going to deal with her.

Tommy: Speaking of, what about Emiko? What kind of solution are you planning for her?

Oliver: The one she deserves. She let our father die.

SERIOUSLY OLIVER? KILLING? ARE WE BACK TO THIS?

Oh, hang on I don’t have to yell at him. Tommy is taking care of it for me.

Source: ebett

See why I love him? He has a hot beard and says my words because we samesies.

Emiko dropped another bomb on Oliver last week when she confessed to knowing about Merlyn’s plan for the Gambit and letting their father die. Oliver is pretty ticked about it, which is understandable. His sister has lied and manipulated her way into his life while wearing his superhero suit no less (RUDE), she was an accessory to their father’s murder or suicide (whichever way you want to look at it), sent Oliver to hell for five years and, to top it all off, is a terrorist. She also dropped a building on him and the team.

Yeah, I’d say the angry face is warranted.

Source: smoakmonster

Emiko is the worst. Not just her actions, but she’s kind of a snoozer personality wise. None of that means Oliver should kill her though. He must move beyond that kind of thinking.

As horrible as Emiko’s actions are, she unknowingly was the catalyst for Oliver becoming someone who could stop her. It’s a mind bender when you think about it. Oliver’s life is filled with loss and immense suffering. However, that suffering has led to immense love and joy. Oliver has created a family beyond the one he was born into. His life has traveled on a path no one could predict.

I’m not saying it’s okay that Emiko and Merlyn killed Robert or that Slade killed Moira. But we’ve glimpsed the “What if?” with Oliver already. He would be happy, but not a hero. If Oliver wants to serve true justice, then he must look at the bad and the good.

Barry: We both got a look at what life would look like normal.

Oliver: It would have been happy.

Barry: But not full.

Oliver: No. Nowhere close.

Barry: To things not being normal.

Oliver: To life being full.

Tommy tries to defend Emiko and I’m pumping the breaks right there. Listen my delicious bearded cupcake; there are plenty of fathers who abandon their children. It’s an epidemic from my point of view; however, they don’t all become terrorists. The “blame Dad” routine is tired. It is possible to hold Emiko responsible for her actions short of killing, but we don’t need to excuse the behavior either.

If you’re tired of the kill/don’t kill debate well then, I’m sorry. It’s an integral part of the show because this is how the writers gauge Oliver’s morality and his evolution as a superhero. They will always circle back to it just like they will always circle back to Robert Queen and the “sins of the father” theme. Family, guilt, responsibility, redemption, teamwork, heroism, sacrifice, killing, love, legacy – these are all the building blocks of Arrow. The bow and arrow will always be how Oliver fights crime. Killing will always be barometer for his morality.

But didn’t Oliver already decide to stop killing after Prometheus? Didn’t he stop blaming himself for Robert Queen’s death?

He realized killing can create an unforeseen monster. Adrian Chase was the blueprint for what not to become, so Oliver forgave himself for Robert Queen’s death. He also stopped viewing the mask as a conduit for his darkness.

So why are we talking about killing again? Oliver didn’t kill Diaz. He didn’t kill anyone in prison. He’s supposed to be a fully realized superhero, but here he is, trapped under rubble, and discussing putting an arrow in his half sister with his almost dead best friend. COME ON.

I know Oliver is not real and the writers refuse to drop this, but there is a reason for it. It’s always one step forward and two steps back with Oliver Queen. This is the biggest pine tree to ever live. Oliver continually circling back to killing feels extremely in character. He finds himself in situations where he believes killing is justified. When Oliver has exhausted all other possibilities he still believes killing can be a solution.

But what about Prometheus?

Well, Oliver couldn’t kill him because that would be giving Prometheus exactly what he wants. Prometheus believed Oliver is a killer and it would prove him right if Oliver killed him. That’s not happening here with Emiko so TA DA! Totally different circumstances! It’s completely okay to kill her.

But what about Slade?

Uhhh… Oliver made a promise to Tommy no more killing and he wanted to prove to himself he could be a hero without it. Mission accomplished! NO MORE KILLING!!!

Hahaha. Just kidding. Up next we have Ra’s Al Ghul.

He had the League of Assassins, chucked Oliver off a mountain, tried to bio weapon Star City into oblivion and made him marry the only lesbian on the show. Ra’s had to die. Right? Right.

Damien Darhk killed Laurel and was a Terminator like magician, so Oliver was completely justified running him through with the pointy end of an arrow. On camera no less!

And round and round and round we go. I’m not arguing any of these people deserved to live. They didn’t. Oliver was always justified killing any bad guy and the world is a better place without these villains. However, it’s not really about the villain. It’s about Oliver Queen and his soul.

I won’t rehash all the reasons why I think Oliver should stop killing and it’s perfectly okay if you disagree with me. This is simply part of my morality. I don’t believe Oliver Queen gets to be judge, jury and executioner simply because he is the Green Arrow and has anointed himself savior of the city.

Oliver’s prison arc was in large part showing him the moral grey zones when it comes to villains. He was operating in a very black and white world when he determined which villains lived and died. Does Ben Turner deserve a death penalty for his crimes? Is he the same as Ricardo Diaz? Who gets to decide?

Ideally the justice system, which is why we have one. It is an imperfect system, but it’s one Oliver has tried to work within for most of the season and has succeeded at it until recently. The larger point is there is a third option for villains when choosing between life or death. JAIL.

And yet, here we are again with Oliver arguing the same moral quandary we’ve argued for the last seven years. The reason we keep circling back to this issue is because Oliver Queen has no code. We can justify almost anything, which is why it’s important to have a moral code to check our justifications. We all need rules to live by, moral absolutes, which are unbreakable under any circumstances. This is the reason laws exist.

God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Jesus gave us the Beatitudes and a whole new section of the friggin Bible to digest. If superheroes are fictional Christ like figures, then their hero’s journey needs to end with a set of rules he/she live by based off the lessons they’ve learned on the road to becoming a superhero.

If you want a less Christian perspective, then consider superheroes modern day mythology. Every mythological hero learned painful lessons which resulted in a morality the Greek and Romans lived by. Our democracy is fashioned from the Greeks. Suffering = lessons = moral code = righteous path.

Oliver needs a code he can apply to any given situation he’s faced with because being a superhero requires checks and balances. He needs something, a lens, to filter his morality through. His morality must set a high bar too because Oliver isn’t just your run of the mill everyday hero. He’s becoming someone else… something else. Oliver Queen is superhero. He supposed to be the best of us.

Oliver views Tommy as a brain concussed hallucination, but he couldn’t be more wrong. This is Oliver’s God moment. I’ve been waiting for Oliver to have a God moment since Barry Allen had his in Season 2 of The Flash. The Speed Force aka God took Barry on an out of body experience to explain that even though Barry has incredible gifts those gifts do not make him God. Barry doesn’t get to decide who lives or who dies. He doesn’t get to rewrite the past or change the future just because he’s experienced lost. Those decisions are outside the purview of The Flash. Barry has immense power, but those powers will not illuminate loss from his life.

The Speed Force/Barry’s Mom: What you’ve become – it’s wonderful. A miracle even. But it won’t make bad things stop happening to you. Even The Flash can’t outrun the tragedies the universe is going to keep sending his way.

At the end of the “The Runaway Dinosaur” Barry comes to terms with his mother’s death and accepts it. He achieves peace, healing and let’s go of some of the pain which has been a weight around his neck. Until his father dies the next episode.

Barry chucks everything God told him out the window and creates Flashpoint to save both his parents.

This is the point where my relationship with Barry Allen began to crumble. HE LITERALLY HAD GOD TELL HIM LOSS WAS PART OF LIFE AND HE HAD TO ACCEPT IT. BARRY HAD TO ACCEPT HE WAS NOT GOD. And what does he do? He creates an entirely new timeline where Cisco’s brother is dead, Caitlin becomes Killer Frost, Sara Diggle is erased and replaced with John Junior. Oh, and I wasn’t allowed to be mad at him about it because he’s Barry.

I don’t know if Oliver Queen believes in God or a life beyond death. I’m leaning towards not given his reaction to Angel Tommy, but “some things are true whether you believe them or not.” City of Angels is an EPIC movie. Watch and thank me later.

Regardless of Oliver’s personal beliefs, he doesn’t have a Speed Force. There’s no higher power/magical whatsit sitting him down for a chat to explain how life works like Barry had in Season 2. Oliver has been flying blind for seven years. Until now.

Oliver: No Tommy! Because of what he did to you.

This is the first time I’ve ever heard Oliver blame Tommy for his death. Oliver is plagued by what ifs? What if Tommy listened to him? What if he got there a little bit sooner? But none of those things happened because Tommy was blinded by the fact that Malcolm Merlyn was his father. And he paid for that loyalty with his life. Oliver isn’t going to make the same mistake with Emiko.

Angel Tommy agrees with Oliver! He takes responsibility for his death, but not for the reasons Oliver stated.

Tommy was stuck in a cycle of self hatred, one created by his father, and he couldn’t free himself from it until it was too late. Angel Tommy urges his friend to view him as a cautionary tale and break his own cycle of violence.

This isn’t the first time Arrow has referenced Oliver’s cycle of violence. We did a deep dive on it in “Level Two” during Oliver’s psychotherapy session. What that doctor was doing to prisoners was deeply wrong, but he did pull out a nugget of truth.

Oliver created his vigilante persona to avenge his father’s wrongs. Those wrongs began with violence and death. Oliver has often avenged those wrongs through violence and death. There is a pattern here. There is a cycle even though Oliver has done so much good as the Green Arrow.

Oliver doesn’t want William to experience the same pain and loss, so he must do things differently than Robert. If Oliver doesn’t want to saddle William with righting his wrongs, then he must break this cycle and be better. Oliver must walk a higher road if there’s any hope of his children being freed from the Queen family’s past.

Oliver: No. You’re wrong. This isn’t about me. This isn’t about my father. This is about Emiko. And the choices that she made? They are on her.

Like I said it’s always one step forward with Oliver and two steps back. He is soooooo close!!!! Everything he said about Emiko is true and showcases the stunning character growth Oliver has gone through these past seven seasons. He’s not blaming himself for Emiko’s actions. Hell, he’s not even blaming Robert. Oliver is holding Emiko responsible for her choices.

Typically, Oliver blames himself for everything. Lately, he’s been putting the blame squarely where is belongs and holding people responsible for their crimes. He has freed himself from the crippling guilt which began on that raft with Robert Queen. YES. EMIKO IS TO BLAME. NOT OLIVER.

But thennnnn he takes it one step too far. Oliver believes Emiko deserves to die.

He may not be blaming himself anymore, but Oliver’s solution remains the same. He’s still stuck.

Tommy promises Oliver will eventually be free (BECAUSE HE’S AN ANGEL SENT BY GOD OKAY??!!!) but urges him to stay on the higher road because he has a shot at a clean slate. What’s wonderful about “Living Proof” is the writers give Oliver more justification to kill than any other time in the history of this show. Emiko is a threat to Oliver’s wife, son and unborn child. We won’t weep over this woman and no one will be angry if Oliver kills her because he’s protecting his family! If there was ever a justification to kill this is it. This decision is morally justified.

Oliver frees himself from the rubble, meets up with his team and comes face to face with Emiko.

This is all it takes. DADDY RAGE ACTIVATED.

Source: olicitygifs

Emiko tells Oliver she’s made certain his family will die and even though Diggle (the moral compass) warns him not to - Oliver kills Emiko.

Source: olivergifs

There’s an immediate cause and effect. Emiko is dead, but so is… JOHN?

WHAT THE FRICKEN FRACK IS GOING ON? Oliver’s team is laid out Game of Thrones style.

Source: arrowdaily

Is the Night King here?

I had no idea what the hell happened.

God happened. Oliver isn’t free. He’s still trapped. Angel Tommy gave him a vision of all his loved ones dying.

Oliver: What was that?

Tommy: How do I know? I’m just a figment of your imagination.

Note to self: When face to face with God don’t call Him a figment of my imagination. He gets cranky.

This is all a hallucination, right? If that’s the case, then how did Angel Tommy know about Emiko and the baby?

Source: olicitygifs

She just threatened Felicity. Oliver doesn’t know that happened. Sure, it’s easy to assume Oliver just played out his worst nightmare, but he’s trying to morally justify killing. Why would he show himself a scenario where killing Emiko leads to losing everyone he loves? Why would he play out this horrible scenario when Oliver thinks he’s right to kill Emiko? Why torture himself over a person he’s ready to kill?

Source: olivergifs

In Oliver’s despair he calls out to God almost like an exhale. And God answers. Angel Tommy is much more than a hallucination. Losing loved ones isn’t new for Oliver, but God showed him this worst nightmare for a reason. Oliver is making decisions based on fear just like Robert Queen did. Angel Tommy briefly takes the title of Yoda from John (that’s ok he hasn’t had much use for it lately).

If Oliver wants a different outcome, then he’s going to have to do something different. Angel Tommy urges Oliver to embrace the best parts of him instead of giving into his worst impulses.

God gives Oliver Queen his code. What’s does a hero believe in? The Four Pillars of Heroism are Oliver Queen’s answer.

Does Emiko deserve Oliver’s loyalty, selflessness, courage and compassion? No. She doesn’t not, but that’s not really the point.

Forgiving someone when they don’t deserve it is quite possibly one of the most heroic things we can do as human beings. It’s a gift and, in many ways, it’s a gift we give ourselves too.

The beauty of these pillars is we all can embrace them. That’s what so wonderful about hero’s journeys. Heroes represent the best of humanity and are a shining beacon of the potential we could all reach. And yet, most of us don’t. Someone like Oliver Queen has a depth to his loyalty, selflessness, courage and compassion that is unparalleled. The reason why most of us don’t become heroes or saints (if you prefer a religious perspective) is because it’s too damn hard. We don’t want to make the sacrifices necessary to be one.

Oliver must offer the same forgiveness offered to him all those years ago through Diggle, Felicity, Tommy, Roy and Thea. Oliver is one of God’s perfect examples of the power of redemption. If there’s anything he should believe in it should be that and what God wants, more than anything, is for Oliver to be a vessel. God is asking Oliver Queen to be a servant of redemption.

Source: smoakmonster

And it’s Tommy asking. So of course, Oliver will do it. That’s why God chose Tommy to deliver the code. Robert Queen’s death ignited Oliver’s mission, but Tommy’s death ignited his heroism. We must go back to the beginning when we reach the end.

Oliver is given the chance to say goodbye again in their final moments together and Tommy makes a him promise. Death is not an end to love.

This was Oliver’s God moment. This code was the final piece of the superhero puzzle. It’s a gift born from loss, pain, love, redemption and forgiveness. Oliver is the living proof for us all. He is a beacon of light for his family, team, city and yes even villaina like Emiko.

Felicity Smoak

I wish I liked Alena. It would have made her scenes with Felicity more fun, but I don’t so that’s that. Oliver is not the only one reexamining the way he’s doing things. Felicity is as well.

The SCPD tries to arrest her, which cements my belief they are the biggest twats to ever live and they will never be anything other than twats. But things take a dangerous and extremely emotional turn when Felicity and Alena come face to face with Emiko. Felicity must beg for the life of her child.

Source: arrowdaily

STOP POINTING ARROWS AT MY PRECIOUS BABES YOU CRAZY BITCH!

Emiko as a villain isn’t all that threatening, but Cookie Monster could be threatening Felicity right now and I’d get worked up about it.

Source: arrowdaily

The speech Felicity makes is gut wrenching. Hasn’t she been through enough? Just let her pregnant in peace.

This latest life or death situation causes Felicity to ponder what kind of life her child will have. Poor William has not fared so great thus far. Being a child of heroes is not an easy thing as we see in the flash forwards.

Is Arrow saying Oliver and Felicity can’t do it all? Are the writers saying Oliver and Felicity can’t be heroes and have a family?

No, I don’t think so because Oliver and Felicity have been doing it all for the last two years. They got married, brought William into their home to raise

and expanded their little brood all while actively fighting for the city as vigilantes.

Oliver isn’t choosing between man and mask anymore. He’s embraced both personas and he’s been living in the light more than he ever has in previous seasons by working with the SCPD (twat factory that it is) and going hoodless.

Timing on Arrow is always a tricky thing. I didn’t expect to see Oliver live his happy life with Felicity for as long as we’ve been blessed to watch it. Most television shows end at wedding or baby, but not with this show. Oliver is a fully realized superhero. That evolution worked in conjunction with his relationship with Felicity and not as a “reward” for his superhero evolution. Oliver could never become a superhero without Felicity. He needs her. Felicity Smoak is Oliver’s superhero.

But that doesn’t mean there aren’t consequences to their choices. Sure, the show could tap out and maybe it would be all rainbows and puppies in the end, but probably not. Arrow isn’t that kind of show and there was always going to be pain right up until the final moments.

Personally, I like that the writers are examining the consequences of having a family and being heroes. We like to tell ourselves we can “do it all” but there are consequences to every decision we make. Once we go through a door another one closes behind us.

Life is not about “having it all.” It’s about deciding the kind of life you want to live and accepting the ramifications of those decisions. There is no perfect plan. There are always negatives to every choice. We must determine not only if our choice makes us happy, but if we can live with the negatives.

What makes Oliver and Felicity happiest is fighting for their city, but they realize that puts their family in danger much more than if they’d chosen to be farmers or dermatologists.

It’s a very real consequence that cost them William. He bailed. So, what about the nugget cooking in Ms. Smoak? Oliver and Felicity can proclaim their number one priority is keeping their children safe, but they are also actively engaging in behavior that puts their children at risk.

Felicity tells Alena about how she wants to be a better parent than her parents. I love Donna Smoak, so it made me a little sad to hear Felicity say this. I think Donna was a spectacular mom to Felicity, but I also understand they are opposites which probably drove Felicity crazy as she grew up. And of course, there’s always Noah Kuttler to set the parenting bar real low. Let us not reflect too heavily on Robert and Moira Queen either. Sure, they made the ultimate sacrifice to keep their children safe, but they were pretty much disaster zones of parents right up until their final moments on this earth.

Felicity always wanted to be a mother. There has been some debate on this topic over the years and “Living Proof” essentially ended it. Yes, she wanted children when she imagined what her life would be someday. Maybe she didn’t know how or with whom that dream would come to fruition, but motherhood is something Felicity wanted. This is great because… spoiler alert she’s pregnant!

It’s perfectly acceptable if Felicity didn’t want children, but I’m glad Arrow didn’t go down the “I changed my mind” trope we so often see on television. Like there’s something inherently wrong with not wanting children and thus the character’s mind must be changed. Nope. There isn’t anything wrong with it. It’s a perfectly valid lifestyle choice.

Of course, there are some who change their minds and that’s valid as well, but storytelling can fall into some uncomfortable tropes and the “change the woman’s mind about becoming a mother” is one I’ve watched too much. I’m also fed up with the “kill the lover/husband but the woman gets to have his baby” trope too in case you’re wondering.

Being a mother, however, was not something forced upon Felicity because Oliver wanted it or something she warmed to because of her relationship with William. It was a quiet dream she kept to herself. A dream William and Mia fulfilled.

Of course, Felicity is an amazing mother. The sky is also blue. This conversation with Alena is just one of the million ways the writers showcase Felicity’s A+ level mom skills. Yes, being a vigilante makes Felicity whole. It’s her calling,

Source: ebett

BUT kidnappings and attacks by serial killers is a serious downside to this career choice. That’s just facts.

Source: ebett

They say the definition of insanity is to do the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. If Felicity truly wants to keep her children safe, then perhaps she and Oliver need to change their nightly activities. At least for a little while. Our happiness doesn’t have to come all at once. The life we build can be put together in pieces, bit by bit, until we’ve found a way to incorporate all the things that make us happy while balancing the consequences (good and bad) of those decisions.

Oliver and Felicity love Star City, but they love their children more. Are they willing to walk away from everything they’ve built to keep their children safe? Is that even a question? Of course. They are parents.

Source: ebett

William Clayton

The messiest part of this whole flash forward storyline is William.

The writers wanted to keep Mia’s identity a secret which is difficult if everyone knows who she is. This gets dicey when it comes to her brother. Personally, I don’t think William and Mia being kept apart for 20 years was necessary. Sure, it was a great “OMG I KNEW IT” moment and it will be interesting to watch the two of them develop a relationship IF we get a spin off.

Source: arrowdaily

However, it doesn’t change the fact that this storyline is a dumpster fire. William continues to bitch about Oliver and Felicity abandoning him in the flash forwards. YOU WANTED TO LIVE WITH YOUR GRANDPARENTS WILLIAM. OLIVER AND FELICITY BEGGED YOU TO STAY BUT YOU LEFT FOR A NORMAL LIFE. Can we at least remember history correctly? Own your choices kid.

But we haven’t circled back to Oliver and the voicemails. Oliver just decides it’s perfectly normal his son isn’t returning ANY of his calls? He never goes to see William in Central City? REALLY?

And then of course there’s Felicity in the cabin for 20 years. I understand why she didn’t live in Star City and remained hidden. Maybe she thought William had a better set up living with the grandparents. He also apparently changed his name... sooo I guess he’s safer with them or something?

Bottom line - Felicity is his mother. It’s difficult to process a situation where Felicity would not bring William home to her at some point.

This is where I understand William’s anger. Yes, Felicity believed she was keeping William safe, but the logic doesn’t really track. If Mia is safe living with Felicity, then so is William. Keeping Felicity and Mia separated from William for 20 years just so the Olicity baby reveal is more shocking to the casual viewer and attempts to keep us fandom super sleuths on our toes for five minutes longer isn’t worth the collateral damage.

Dinah and Roy

Sweet mother of Moses where the hell do I even start? Dinah finds out the SCPD knows Roy murdered those two guards and she immediately starts bitching about her job.

Dinah: She lied about us being behind the Ninth Circle attacks, but she was telling the truth about us covering up those murders. We never should have done that.

Of course, Roy feels terrible his uncontrollable Lazarus Pit rage which resulted in the death of two innocent people and he will live with the guilt the rest of his life. But he ALSO cost Dinah her job and that is most important.

Dinah: He’s right. I’m sorry but the SCPD has already tried to arrest Felicity. Its better one of us takes the fall than the rest of us spending our lives as fugitives.

It’s not surprising Dinah and Rene are willing to feed Roy to the sharks to save their own asses.

We have alllll of Season 6 as evidence that this is exactly the kind of people they are, but unfortunately this DRIVES ROY TO SUICIDE. He volunteers to shut off some poisonous gas and the chances of his survival are next to zero.

And what do we get? Dinah crying. PICK A LANE BITCH. You don’t get to guilt Roy into sacrificing himself and then cry over his corpse. You had zero problems sending him up the river for a nice long stint at Slabside if it secured your 401K. But now she’s oh so sad because her new bestie is flinging himself into toxic waste fumes? I CANNOT WITH THIS WOMAN.

Roy survives because he’s the Parkour Prince and Dinah offers some mea culpa about how the world is a better place with a hero like Roy in it. NO SHIT! WE’VE BEEN THERE FOR THE LAST SEVEN YEARS DINAH. Hey everybody! Roy gets to stick around because Dinah said it was okay!

I have whiplash.

Dinah: I was wrong. We all make mistakes.

Yeah, but you continually make the same mistake Dinah. It’s called disloyalty. What the team should have done is doctor the video, so it looked like Dinah killed the guards and handed it to Bingsley with a big red bow.

Stray Thoughts

Oliver had a building on top of him. Roy had cardboard. It's not always fun being the lead.

I really needed the show to be Tommy backseat hero-ing Oliver for the last six years.

Doesn’t Angel Tommy sound a lot like Felicity? It’s an absolute tragedy Tommy and Felicity never had any scenes together. I will forever blame L&urel for the joy she stole from me.

"I don't know how you ever breathe on this job."

"I don't." I love Felicity Smoak.

It makes me sad seeing Felicity’s genius corrupted like this.

ALENA WAS THE MAD SCIENTIST THUS CONFIRMING MY SUSPICIONS THAT SHE IS THE WORST.

Mia defending Felicity is a big mood.

I love you Roy. You are Olicity's first born son, but this is a lot your fault. So, I accept the guilty face. Next time tell Oliver you have homicidal blood lust tenancies before going out into the field. Okay cookie? Uh huh. Thanks.

Don't think about how we missed out on Tommy Merlyn for the last six years and put up with L*urel L*nce nonsense season after season instead. It'll never be okay.

It was weird Olicity didn’t hugh when they reunited. Made the scene awkward. I loved how Oliver almost slipped up and said “baby” though. Source: olicitygifs

Completely unacceptable we only had one Olicity scene for Emily’s second to last episode.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me. 7x21 gifs credited.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

#arrow #arrow spoilers #arrow 7x21 #arrow reviews #oliver queen #tommy merlyn #felicity smoak #anti dinah drake #roy harper #william clayton #arrow season 7 #arrow season 7 reviews #season 7 episode review #season 7 episode reviews

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spaceshipkat · 5 years

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This might be an unpopular opinion in the anti community but I must let it out lol: I actually like Ta/mlin. If you think about his character from acotar (besides the biting/cringey sex), he was just a guy that didn’t want to be high lord and wanted to run away with his fiddle. He had his flaws, but for the most part he was a decent character. Tam after acotar was not Tam at all. I don’t think after all he went through, he would have treated faerug the way he did. (1/?)

The only reason Sjm turned him into an abusive shit, is so Rice can save his beloved mate. In none of sjm’s relationships can a character just walk away from one lover to another and that’s ironic because most of the praise of the books (tog and acotar) comes from that idea of multiple love interests. For tog, Sam had to die, kale had to be a bitch about alien’s magic and only then she ends up with Rowboat. (And even then they’re mates so her previous relationships don’t matter). (2/?)

And after all that, sjm dedicates a whole ass book for Kale to realize how wrong he was and how great alien is. And as for Tam well I don’t even know what to say. I just hate how sjm unnaturally manipulates her characters to ensure that one (faerug/alien and their mates™️) always stays at the top. That’s not how it’s supposed to work dammit. None of this is character development or redemption arcs, it’s just which one of these characters can she make grovel the most. (3/3)

i’m always down for unpopular opinions!

and yes, this is absolutely sj/m’s signature “romance,” wherein she says one thing and does another. it’s easy to say that you allow your characters to have previous relationships, but it’s quite another to say that while also shitting on the relationships that came before. i mean, even Sam in t0g, who is hailed as one of the most-missed characters in the fandom, is moot bc rowboat and alien are mates. sj/m spends so much time (okay “so much,” but you know what i mean, hopefully) upholding Sam as this amazing character who alien misses every day--hell, there was that entire scene in q0s, where alien visited his grave with rowboat--but all of that is hollow with the mating system instilled. likewise with Lyria, who rowboat has called his “lie of a mate” (anyone notice the only “lie” is the former female love interest, rather than the male love interest? ahem).

sj/m doesn’t know how to write proper character arcs, and her amateurish writing is perfectly exhibited in the romance arcs she puts her characters through. no romance can end with little drama, since sj/m has to shit on the former love interest to prop up the current love interest, even if they’re not endgame. i mean, she threw Nesryn at Chaol, and then had Chaol “cheat” on her (i will never read t0d bc my Chaol has escaped to his cottage by the sea with Dorian) and had Nesryn marry a guy to become empress, despite the fact marriage does not an empress make, at least in nuanced worlds that make sense.

anyway, to get back on the topic of ac0tar, yeah, no matter what sj/m says, i think riceman was a tacked-on love interest she claims to have made the decision on prior to writing the book. we all know the stories about how she had to bite her tongue whenever someone said they loved tambourine before ac0maf came out, but i’d be willing to bet that’s all a show bc sj/m doesn’t plan a single goddamn thing--and if she did plan riceman from the start, that opens up a whole new can of worms bc that would mean she actively wrote this abusive male character to one day be the endgame love interest.

one reason i think he was added in on a whim is the way both the narration and faerug backpedal on what riceman did to faerug UTM and actively dump excuse after excuse down our throats without 1) making riceman actually say “i’m sorry” and work to do better going forward to atone for what he did, and 2) make us believe there is a reason he wears this Evil McEvil Sexypants mask beyond sj/m trying to backpedal. not only does riceman sit on a throne and act the Evil McEvil Sexypants guy, she makes faerug wear dehumanizing shredded curtains clothes bc apparently having some nearly-naked woman on riceman’s lap is really going to drive home just how scary and ~morally grey~ Evil McEvil Sexypants is.

and after ac0fas, it’s clear that sj/m has a redemption arc in store for tambourine, though i really wish she’d just leave well enough alone. he’s a ~hawt male~ so naturally he has to have a redemption arc, despite two books building him up as this inhuman monster who can’t be forgiven for what he did (that is equal to what riceman did, but obv riceman is better bc duh he’s Evil McEvil Sexypants). sj/m has this weird fascination with giving attractive male characters redemption arcs they don’t deserve--first it was Eris, and now it’s tambourine.

all in all, the perfect way to describe sj/m’s amateurish writing is by pinpointing on her romances and romance arcs, bc they are every signature sj/m problem personified.

#ask #anonymous #anti sjm #anti acotar

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rosykims · 5 years

Text

DRAGON AGE QUESTIONS

tagged by: @nordxz thanks so much !!! *heart emoji*

favourite game of the series?

origins! although inquisition is very close as well. inquisition was my favourite for a very time, but like midway through last year i replayed origins and it just felt.....so good. i really struggled with enjoying dao because of the clunky fighting system but an amazing mutual introduced me to a mod that lets u skip fights basically lol, so i was just able to focus on the story/characters/exploration of the game, which just....made me realize how immensely beautiful the game actually is, and i fell in love all over again aaaaa

how did you discover dragon age?

i was a huge mass effect fan ! mass effect was the game that motivated me to make this blog, actually, and obviously through following people i saw a lot of posts from the da community as well. so i bought origins and inquisition (i had NO idea there was a da2 until half way through awakening lmao) and tried to play origins but HATED it gtrhutgrhugtr and then eventually gave it another try like a month later and completely loved it and now here we are

how many times you’ve played the games?

not as many times as some people on here have - i would say origins maybe four times, da2 maybe twice, inquisition three times. but that also doesnt count all the timesw ive created new games and then abandoned them lol bc theres too many to count

favourite race to play as?

love me some elf booty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

favourite class?

at first it was rogue dual wielder ! i played as a rogue in every single first-time playthrough and idk i felt that class has always been the easiest/most op. but in the last maybe 2 years it’s changed to mage. ive always been super intimidated by magic classes in every game i play but i LOVE inquisition’s mage classes/specializations and i can never go back now

do you play through the games differently or do you make the same decisions each time?

im so so so bad and i usually end up making very similar choices, but usually bc i just......replay the same characters every time hgtuhgtruhgtrui. i REALLY need to make more da ocs to explore more choices but....i dont want to lol i already have to many. i still havent sided with the templars in a playthrough like i just cant do it

go-to adventuring group?

i always bring my characters love interest with them no matter what, just bc its cute, but usually i try to evenly cycle the other characters around that. i always try to have a warrior/rogue/mage in every party. but sometimes i’ll go warrior/warrior/mage/mage especially if i need to focus on straight damage and a LOT of healing lol

my favourite parties would probably be:

dao - alistair + zevran + wynne (wholesome and also funny)

da2 - anders + fenris + merrill (SO much chaotic energy)

dai - solas + cassandra + cole (i just love them ok)

which of your characters did you put the most thought into?

ashara lavellan, my canon inquisitor who was never supposed to be canon tghtgurhtrg. my original canon inq was a trevelyan rogue, who was super nice and good. i made ashara so that i could actually play as an evil/mean character without feeling bad lol, oh and i also wanted to see what the deal with solas was bc i had heard his romance was good ;;;;) anyway that backfired and i ended up completely falling in love with her, and i STILL couldnt make the tough choices with her so i was like ok maybe she isnt THAT evil and now shes just..... the way she is now i guess lmao

favourite romance?

trhhtruih okay u guys KNOW its solas. u know. i dont even have to say anythiing about it bc...u fucking know

(alistair’s is very close tho)

have you read any of the comics/books?

i havent :(((( im such a bad fan but i cannot deal with ordering online and thats the only place ive been able to find them. im planning on reading asunder and the masked empire as soon as i get the chance (and the money) tho !!

if you read them, which was your favourite book?

nope

favourite DLCs?

trespasser ! its pretty simple and very plot-driven like u didnt have to worry about side missions as much as u would with other dlcs so idk that was... refreshing. but obviously i loved it just bc it was so beautiful and intense and sad (since my chara romanced solas obviously) and that music score????? unbelievable i’ll never be over it

things that annoy you.

can i say the fandom trghuitgrhutrhui

mostly the thing that pisses me off the most is the grey morality. writers trying to make everything deep and Thought Provoking like..... no jerry, slavery IS bad theres no alternative viewpoint lol??????? also the fucking whitewashing makes me see red.

orlais or ferelden?

ferelden!!!!! (*blows a kiss* for highever)

templars or mages?

mages <3

if you have multiple characters, are they in different/parallel universes or in the same one?

i only have like 3 protag da characters and they’re all canon, although emeraude is an au. so ella is my canon warden and ashara is my canon inquisitor, but emeraude does exist in that universe, bc i hc she befriended the warden and alistair when they visited the alienage, and she was very outspokenly angry and didn’t really give a shit that alistair was going to be heir. which alistair really,,, appreciated i guess? so emeraude is made his official elven adviser after his coronation but she also kinda helps out as a royal protector because she’s one of the only people in court they both trust completely lol. also she is....stronk.

and the only other characters i have for da are obviously side characters who are related to my canon protags so. they’re all canon as well lol

what did you name your pets? (mabari, summoned animals, mounts, etc)

ella named her dog ser bark gthutgrhutghruihtr she thought it was cute ok

emeraude just went with barkspawn since alistair came up with the idea as a joke but she thought the joke was so bad she made them keep it as punishment vjhuightui

i dont really have a hawke oc but.....he named his dog shepard in my playthrough ! like from mass effect ;;;;)))

have you installed any mods?

origins is modded to hell and back and i genuinely couldn’t play the game without mods at this point. inquisition is slightly modded but im in the process of removing them all, and only keeping a few because my game runs pretty terribly with them installed

did your warden want to become a grey warden?

ella did ! but it was kind of,, a naive childhood dream, she had a really romanticized view of the wardens and she wanted a life of excitement and bravery and adventure, not really taking into consider all the bad things about it (and obviously not knowing the full truth about what it means to be a warden)

emeraude did NOT want to be a warden. she basically had to be dragged out of the alienage because she wanted to stay and protect her community. she never really enjoyed being a warden, although her friendship with alistair was its one redeeming quality

hawke’s personality?

uh i cant remember the colour/personality thing but he was a combo of funny/ethical. mostly there for memes tho.

did you make matching armor for your companions in inquisition?

for origins i do ! i always make sure alistair and ella wear the grey warden armour, as well as every warden in awakening. thats like, all theyre allowed to wear lmao.

if your character(s) could go back in time to change one thing, what would they change?

ella would obviously change her family’s murder lol, and emeraude would at least try and change what happened at her wedding, to prevent shianni and the others from being hurt.

ashara would change romancing solas :((( she was so angry at herself after discovering who he was, and she felt weak and foolish which she HATES more than any other feeling, so she definitely wishes she had never met him for a long time. after she kind of processes it though, and learns to deal with her anger, her answer would be that she wishes she had saved the chargers. it’s the one move she made that actually keeps her up at night sometimes.

do you have any headcanons about your character(s) that go against canon?

ghuitrhuigtrhugtr so many. canon? dont know her.

the biggest example would be that i hc king!alistair was at the winter palace during the wicked hearts level. because uh..... celene and the fereldan monarchs had been corrosponding for over 10 years, trying to build up rapport, of COURSE the king would be there to see who the potential ruler/s of orlais would be and whether or not he ought to be worried. like. im sorry but alistair was there lol you can’t change my mind. i also hc he helps ashara with information about the grey wardens during this chapter, because ???? it just makes sense??? im so angry i wish this was canon

are any of your characters based on someone?

ok it was unintentional but ashara reminds me of an english teacher i had in highschool who was very scary but also....really cool and i loved her. it was an accident but,, still counts.

who did you leave in the fade?

gtiturghtugh okay at the risk of pissing off EVERYBODY who reads this, i left hawke in the fade, even though it was a toss up between hawke and stroud. it was ashara’s fault tho !!! she would have 100% prioritzed an alliance with the grey wardens over like,, some guy. it broke my heart but yeah That happened.

favourite mount?

i like all the elk mounts mostly ! but i never use them bc they sound ugly af

tagging : @trvelyans @f3nharel @allisondraste @ensevens @tethraas @talizorah @fereldun if u are up to it <3 and whoever else wants to do this !

#/ long post #sorry this is so long i got carried away oops #dai #dao #da2 #personal

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aceattorneygroupchat · 5 years

Text

THE HALLOWEEN PARTY, part 1

It was Halloween, and Maya Fey had a mission.

Well, two, technically. First, to throw an amazing party. But second and no less important was to get her incredibly dense honorary-older-brother and his obvious longtime crush to finally admit their damn feelings for each other.

And, okay, before any of that there turned out to be one more mission, since the aforementioned longtime crush had gone back to waffling on the costume that he'd already agreed to.

“...What do you mean ‘we’ll see?!’”

“We'll see,” insisted Miles Edgeworth, who was setting out stacks of black and orange plastic cups that thoroughly clashed with the usual posh motif of his home. Of course, so did all the decor that he, Maya, and Phoenix Wright were in the process of setting up, although the contrast was lessened a little by the similarly-colored covers he’d put over most of the furniture.

“The party is in two hours; it’s too late for ‘we’ll see!’” Maya said. She was standing on one of the dining room chairs, raising herself higher onto her toes in a vain attempt to re-affix a pumpkin swirl hanger that had fallen from the ceiling.

“When we finish setting up, I will decide,” he replied firmly, as if Maya were the unreasonable one for expecting him to follow through on a decision he’d already made… made several times, in fact.

Maya groaned loudly, partly at the decoration she was still attempting to put up, but mostly at Miles.

“Come on, I texted you this morning and you said you would do it. You already have the costume, Nick has his Evil Magistrate one; it’s too late to just bail on us now!”

“Speaking of late,” Miles said, neatly sidestepping Maya’s point, “isn’t Larry supposed to have arrived to help us with all this by now?”

“He is… but this is Larry we’re talking about,” said Phoenix, who was in the process of stretching fake spiderwebs across a couch. He suddenly gave a slightly uneasy glance toward Miles. “Edgeworth, how sturdy are your chairs…?”

“Fairly sturdy, why do you…?” he began before noticing the answer to his question and rushing over. “--Not that sturdy! Maya, what are you doing?!”

What Maya was doing was starting to climb to the top of a very precarious-looking two-chair stack that she’d apparently made in the few moments when no one was looking at her.

“I’m just trying to put this back up!” she said indignantly.

“You are going to fall. I’d rather not spend tonight taking you to the hospital.”

She sighed and got down. “Okay, okay.”

“There’s a stepladder right over there, you know,” Phoenix added, nodding towards the corner.

“Again with stepladder,” Maya muttered, but went to get the ladder nevertheless, dragging it back to her spot and safely rehanging the decoration while Miles set the chairs back to their usual position.

Phoenix pulled a strand of webbing over the final windowsill in the room and stepped back to look around and assess his handiwork.

“Is this enough spiderwebs?” There was still one unopened, ‘GLOW-IN-THE-DARK’-labeled bag of the stretchy decor left- Maya may have gone a bit overboard estimating how much they’d use- but Phoenix had already covered just about every surface he could find, unless he wanted to move on to decorating the bathroom.

“Don’t overdo it. I don’t want people to come in and just think I never dust the place,” Miles answered, without looking up from the table where he was meticulously aligning the snack bowls. He offhandedly wondered whether a Steel Samurai costume or an unkempt home would be more damaging to the image he tried to project.

“They’re neon green. I think your clean-house reputation is safe.”

“Wouldn’t less of them give that impression more, though? No one has this many giant cobwebs,” Maya pointed out.

“True, point taken.” He took a moment to actually look this time before responding. “I think they’re fine.”

Phoenix untangled a strand of spiderweb that had attached itself to his hair before going to the kitchen to throw away the bags.

“I think that’s just about everything!” Maya declared, once he’d returned.

Indeed, Miles Edgeworth’s home- or at least the part of it that they’d agreed for the party to be mostly contained to- was looking suitably spooky. The furniture was draped with black and orange, tables were set with ghost-print plates and plenty of large bowls for snacks, shiny pumpkins hung every few feet, and green webs adorned every surface. Maya had also set up an area for photos on one side of the room, and a small purple tent in the corner, adorned with a hand-painted banner that read ‘MYSTIC MAYA’S FORTUNES.’ Aside from the actual snacks- Maya was crossing her fingers that when Larry finally showed up he wouldn’t have forgotten them- it was ready to become a world of tricks and treats.

“Well, I'm going to go change into my costume. You guys should too,” she said.

“One of us needs to stay by the door, to let Larry in when he finally arrives,” Miles pointed out. And unfortunately, while he may have been using this as another excuse to put off his costume decision, he was also right.

“Nick can do it,” Maya tried, one last attempt to get him to commit before the very last minute.

“No, that's quite all right. This is my house, after all.”

Maya grumbled a little, but since her own costume would take a bit of time to get into, she didn’t have much time to waste pushing it. “Okay, fine. C’mon, Nick.” She picked up the bag she’d put her costume pieces into, Phoenix doing the same and following her upstairs before they split off to change.

Phoenix’s costume took a lot less time to prepare than Maya’s did. She, of course, was a lot more dedicated to accuracy, and between the multi-piece armor, her wig, and the full-face bright pink makeup, it was around half an hour before she left the second upstairs bathroom to meet back up with him.

But, while she may have known his costume wouldn’t be the elaborate passion project hers was- probably just a standard store-bought Evil Magistrate- she was in no way prepared for the sight she saw.

“Nick, what the heck is that?!”

“What do you mean, ‘what is that?’” he replied indignantly. “It’s the costume you wanted me to wear.”

“No it’s not! It’s all wrong!” Maya got closer, inspecting every detail and becoming more appalled with each one. “Why is the cape blue? Why are the shoulder pieces red?! What even is that goofy-looking smiley face of a belt buckle??!” She gestured wildly.

“Isn’t this what the character looks like?” Phoenix said without a hint of irony. Maya sighed.

“Yeah, maybe if he were a colorblind crayon drawing! Nick, where’d you even get this? Lemme see the package.”

She immediately took Phoenix’s bag from where he had placed it against the wall and rifled around in it for a moment before she found the plastic pouch the costume had come in.

“‘Morally Unsound Judge?!’” she exclaimed, looking from the bag to Phoenix in disbelief. “Did you even look at this before you bought it?” She shook her head at him before leaning over the railing at the top of the stairs and calling, “MILES! C’mere, you HAVE to see this!”

“Oh, don’t call him up here just for this…”

Phoenix had barely finished speaking, however, before Miles was at the top of the stairs, immediately being handed the costume bag by Maya.

“‘Morally Unsound…’” He squinted at it. “What sort of cheap knockoff is this? Why is it here?”

Maya gestured at Phoenix.

“...No.” His grey eyes immediately took on the same disbelief that was written all over Maya’s face. “Wright, this has to be a joke. Please tell me you brought this as a joke.”

“Look, you two are the ones who actually watch the show! I just saw the costume Maya wanted me to get and I got it. I don’t know what more you want from me here.”

Miles exchanged a glance with Maya and they both shook their heads. After another moment of looking Phoenix over, Miles suddenly looked quite resolute and spoke again.

“That’s it. I’ve made up my mind.”

“About your costume?” Maya asked eagerly.

“Yes. Here I’ve been, embarrassed to be seen in a finely detailed, high-quality reproduction of a well-loved character’s iconic apparel… but it’s perfectly clear to me now. I have nothing to be ashamed of.” He looked Phoenix- or more accurately, the dollar-store mask- in the eye. “You do.”

And with that, he left to change, his decision finally made.

“Aw, Nick, I get it now!” Maya said once he was gone. “You knew that’d boost his confidence, didn’t you?”

Phoenix blinked. “Uh… oh, yeah, of course.”

#The Halloween Party #groupchat canon #groupchat fics #not a chat log #ace attorney #long post/#yes finally here's some of this!!! i'm sorry it's so late and i wish i had more of it for u rn but still!#maya fey #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #wrightworth sort of

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darklygophilia · 6 years

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Just A Little Comparison...

This gif basically sent me down the rabbit hole of Daredevil & Punisher meta-land...

Here we have Matt pushing Foggy out of the way of the incoming bullets, but Fogy still gets hit regardless. Which, IMO, mirrors their friendship. Despite Matt’s good intentions, Foggy still has to deal with a lot of Daredevil consequences no matter that Matt tries to keep him safe, 1st by keeping that part of himself a secret in S1, & later by trying to avoid talking about Daredevil with Foggy at all in the beginning of S2. But Foggy can’t ignore that Matt’s Daredevil, he can’t just ignore the elephant in the room! So, Foggy faces a lot of fallout b/c of Matt’s inability to balance his duel identities as well as Foggy’s own inability to accept both sides of Matt b/c Matt lied to him for most of their friendship. I do feel that if Foggy had found out much sooner, if Matt had confided in Foggy, than their friendship wouldn’t have suffered so much. But, there’s always gonna be this part of Foggy that likely feels that Matt didn’t trust him b/c he didn’t tell him he was Daredevil. And that has to hurt. Foggy had to find out on his own, by accident! Which leads to the question: Would Matt have told him himself if Foggy hadn’t accidentally found out?

With Karen it’s a little different. The Matt she’s known was a lie, in a way she fell in-love with her own fantasy of Matt. The Matt that he projects onto the world by day. And while, unlike with Foggy, Matt does decide to confide in Karen himself that he’s Daredevil (probably cause he was trying to learn from his mistake with keeping things from Foggy, & hoping to avoid loosing another one of his only two friends), Matt still essentially lied to Karen. He showed her a false image of himself. And she’s done the same thing, she has her own secrets. The fact that their brief romance was essentially built on lies/secrets from both of them needing to hide their true selves from each other (both out of fear of rejection) provides a very week foundation for their so-called love story. Not to mention their differences of moral ideology (Karen’s moral ideals are more on par with Frank’s than Matt’s). Which is why I’m CONVINCED that Karen/Matt are NOT endgame. B/c the foundation of a good, healthy relationship full of trust, & love, & knowing each other just is NOT there at all. Another thing, they’re both wearing masks. Karen projects an image of herself to Matt as well. Basically, neither Matt nor Karen really know who the other is, even after Matt tells her he’s Daredevil. They simply don’t know each other! And its strongly hinted that they have a very different belief system.

What is ironic is that, the answers were all there! We as viewers can clearly see they’re both holding back something. But the fact that neither Karen nor Matt strive to really delve deeper with each other, not only shows they don’t know each other - it shows that they don’t want to know each other! B/c they refuse to see the truth of one another even when all the hints are there staring them in the face. Seriously, Matt can hear a person’s heartbeat & tell when they’re lying, so you know he’s gotta know that Karen is lying, too. She’s holding back her real self. Karen is also very observant; she knows when someone’s bullshitting her. Just look at her relationship with Frank. She’s not at all afraid to call him out on anything & get to the truth of him. The fact that she doesn’t do this with Matt is very telling.

Then of course there’s the differences in behavior in interaction between Matt/Elektra & Frank/Karen.

Just look at them! They’re brutal with each other. Passionate. Driven.

They both know each other’s secrets & dark side. And what they don’t know, they strive to know & understand. They have chemistry. And, of course, they argue/bicker like a freaking old married couple!

And the thought of loosing each other is unthinkable...

Now back to the gif that spurred this meta into action...

Matt isn’t just protecting Foggy, he’s also protecting Karen. Or, IMO, he’s protecting his fantasy of having something normal. In a way, the Matt/Karen relationship is driven on expectations. The people they project to each other are the very people that others expect them to fall in love with. There’s also the expectation of the audience & comics. They’re canon (though in canon they didn’t actually have a happy ending, either) so, their inevitable love is expected, & almost tired by the time it actually happens within the show’s narrative. Anyone who hasn’t read the comics or is new to Daredevil, doesn’t really expect Matt to have this deep, complex connection to someone like Elektra who, at first, seems to be the exact opposite of Matt. But, in reality they’re both very similar. Matt strives hard to be the ultimate, typical good-guy even when it’s not realistic (cause sometimes you need to get your hands dirty to do a greater good, like Frank). Matt has been raised with the typical Catholic guilt, he’s driven by being better than the criminals around him, & he was taught by Stick to keep people at a distant & therefore taught to lie about himself. Elektra may seem like the spoiled, entitled rich girl at first, but we quickly learn she’s a lot more like Matt than even she realizes (their similarities, are probably what drew them to each other in the first place). Elektra may not have Catholic guilt driving her, but there does seem to be a lot of guilt that’s projected onto her from Stick. Elektra knows she has a dark side, but b/c of Stick teachings she was taught to deny her nature, to lie about herself, to keep others at a distance. Like Matt.

It’s similar with Karen & Frank. Neither is what the other expects. Frank’s not at all the kind of man whom people would think Karen would be drawn to. But she is. She sympathizes with Frank’s loss & his inner demons b/c she’s experienced it herself. She’s able to see past the mask of the Punisher. Just as Frank sees past her mask. They’re both passionate people of conviction & have their own moral code that might not be purely good or purely evil. They both operate somewhere in the grey-zone. Better yet, they’re the kind of people who aren’t afraid to do something bad, but for the right reasons! And while Karen may not like a lot of what Frank does, & Frank doesn’t like that Karen puts herself in danger, they both accept each other regardless.

In a way, I kinda feel like the Matt/Karen “romance” was a red haring, like MARVEL was totally trolling us. B/c their relationship opens with typical, cliche hero/heroine development. The girl doesn’t know the hero’s secret, the hero saves her (both as himself [Matt], & as his alter ego [Daredevil], plus they’re prominently in each other’s lives b/c they work together & are friends. I wonder if MARVEL was like, “Ok, the audience are gonna ship these two, so let’s play with that.” B/c 1) of course they’re gonna get shipped at first, b/c there’s this idea that two people who work so closely together & are of the opposite sex can’t simply be friends; & 2) it’s in the comics so its canon. Like, MARVEL gave us what was expected, the typical cliched hero/heroine romance (which was really, romance-lite) before ripping it apart & giving us something more real, more tangible with Matt/Elektra & Frank/Karen. Like, “Ok, audience, this is what you think you want. But look over here! This is the real deal. This is what you’re really looking for.”

I mean, just look at this gif again...

All Matt does is push Foggy & Karen to the ground, & covers Karen’s body with his own. There’s no caressing, no clutching, no words at all exchanged between them.

Look at these...

Matt caresses Elektra with one hand while clutching onto her with the other.

He literally nuzzles her entire face while clutching onto her, afraid to loose her.

And now look at these...

Frank doesn’t just push Karen to the ground. There’s a lot of movement in this scene, & I’m not referring to the bullets flying all over the place. Just look at Frank’s face. It looks like a combination of fear for Karen’s safety as well as absolute rage that anyone would dare try & kill her. Plus the fact that Frank shows up simply to prove to Karen that it wasn’t him that shot at her. Frank doesn’t really care what people think of him, he doesn’t care that at least 50% of the city thinks he’s a monster. But he just HAS to tell Karen that it wasn’t him. It reminds me of their hospital scene when Frank does everything to ensure that Karen knows he would never hurt an innocent person, he’d never hurt her, that she was safe even when he was gunning for Grotto. He doesn't care about what anyone else thinks of him, but he cares about what Karen thinks.

Frank also repeatedly looks back down at Karen. Even though he’s covering her & there’s simply no way she could get shot with him protecting her, he keeps looking back down at her as if to reassure himself that she’s still alright.

And Frank’s not the only one clutching, Karen is, too! But Frank also draws his hands repeatedly over Karen’s head, almost like he’s caressing her.

If that’s not love I’ don’t know what is.

#Frank Castle #Karen Page #Kastle #Punisher #Matt Murdock #Elektra Nachios #Daredevil #Meta

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browsemybookshelves · 6 years

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The Cruel Prince By Holly Black 4.5/5 stars

Disclaimer: listened to audiobook

Novel trigger warnings: kidnapping, murder/violence, sexual/emotional/physical abuse, suicide

Jude is seven when her parents are murdered, and she and her sisters are taken to the world of faerie. In the ten years since, she has come to embrace the world and longs to belong there properly. She and her twin sister are hated by many for their morality, and none more than Prince Cardan. But while Taryn learns to the ways of courtly etiquette, Jude learns to fight. When political upheaval shakes the world of faerie, Jude finds herself at the centre of it, sword in hand and learning her own capacity for weaving webs and shedding blood.

This novel was everything I wanted it to be. It is dark, it is intriguing, and above all else it is clever. The story is real because Black doesn’t shy away from the fact that everyone is capable of cruelty and deception and no one should be trusted. In fact, that is the driving force in the novel, Jude’s fight and search for a moral answer with less than moral means. People have described this as the ultimate Slytherin novel, and I have to say that the label fits pretty well. If you like you like stories of flawed characters, ingenious cruelty, complex worlds and tantalizing magic this is the book for you.

Jude is a complex character filled with conflicting emotions and ideas, which we can see are both a product of circumstance and her upbringing by Madoc. Jude’s main cause of action is her lack of identity, a place to belong. Initially she wishes to be knight of the high king’s court, she is a trained and skilled fighter taught by the general himself since childhood in the games of war. But Jude also knows she can never be like the rest of the court because she is human. But she has grown up in the faire world and when she does visit the human world she knows she no longer belongs there either. Jude fights for a place to belong and is afraid the entire time, but she does it anyway.

Prince Cardan is a character I really did hate for like eighty percent of the book, but he is also one of my favourite characters. Usually when there’s an absolute asshole character I can still find to love them, because they’re the worst, and by the end Cardan had fallen into this category for me but it took quite a while. He is an absolute snobbish asshole and cruel, but he’s also a victim of a lifetime of abuse and neglect. He became cruel because it was necessary to survive. As the youngest prince of an old king his entire life was at a court of political intrigue filled with deceptions and power games. Cardan is the cruel prince, but is only one of many, his brothers just as deserving of the title. We see Cardan wear many masks, dance word games better than Jude could imagine, be clever and ambitious in only his desire to escape the court in which he has grown up in as a pawn. He is an absolute trainwreck with absolutely no self-preservation (getting wasted at the most important royal events in centuries, drinking wine and playing cards with his captors, writing his crush’s name over and over again on a piece of paper and leaving it out in the open, very flawed with not intention on working on any of them, super sarcastic for someone who can’t 1) lie and 2) is about to start crying most of the time) but in a way that makes you love him despite all his flaws.

A key part of this novel is family. Madoc stresses this to Jude more than once, and it a prevalent theme throughout. Madoc is also one of the most interesting and compelling characters in the novel to me, a morally grey and ambiguous character that is both capable of loving children that are not his by blood, and great violence. Oriana is just as interesting, coming off for the majority of the novel as cold and dismissive, seeing Jude and Taryn as weak and foolish for their mortality. However, she turns out to be very important and her motives explained. As much as family is a strength of The Cruel Prince, it is also an area I was somewhat disappointed in. The relationship between Jude and her sisters seemed underdeveloped. As someone who also has two sisters, who I see as my best friends, I wish Black had explored the love and power in sisterhood more.

Another aspect of the novel I didn’t love was that of the main “romance” between Jude and Cardan. I don’t enjoy romance storylines where the evil (in this case cruel) handsome boy turns out to just have had a crush on girl who seems below him. It doesn’t dismiss the years of bullying and abuse Jude experienced, the hate she felt. I think as a whole Jude does deal with the realization of Cardan’s feelings in a realistic way for her character, still not trusting him fully, seeing the cruel sneer he’s still capable of. The end of the novel also highlights that they are not friends, they are not lovers, they aren’t even allies – he is vowed to her service for the time being and after her deception he doesn’t promise for anything to be easy after that.

A definite highlight of this novel is the worldbuilding. Black is able to weave a magical and tangible world of fey where as much as things seem impossible, the human world is undeniable and necessary for their survival as well.

As a whole, I loved this book. The Cruel Prince reminded me why I love YA fantasy and delivered it in a dark twisted way that I had been longing for. The novel wrapped up well, completing the main conflict and still left plenty of questions and anticipation for the next installment of the series.

Final note: I also loved how Vivienne was bisexual and found how Black put something to the effect that in the world of faerie “liking girls was the least likely thing Madoc would be mad about”.

#The Cruel Prince #Holly Black #the folk of the air #YA Fantasy #YA fiction #Faerie #Fantasy #Fiction #political intrigue #Magic

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crowned-ladybug · 7 years

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A Story Worth Telling

Shitty title bc i just realised i didn’t have one

Written for @sunkistjello <3 Sorry it’s not as Marvin-centric as originally intended

Set in an unnamed AU that I might work with more in the future.

Characters: Marvin, Jackie

Word count: 3.4k

Warnings: nothing. It’s an AU though, so be aware of that.

Every hero needs an arch nemesis, and Jackie is pretty sure he has his. Well, pretty sure.

Jackie doesn't even know his name, to be honest. He calls him a lot of things in his head, from "cat face dude" to "Hou-dick-y" because apparently it's not customary for villains to introduce themselves via badly constructed monologues anymore. So all Jackie knows is that his supposed arch nemesis wears a cat mask, has green hair and commits petty crimes and mischief with obvious magic on his side.

They've never even fought before, but a couple times a week Jackie would try to disrupt Mr Catface's attempts at robbery or ill-mannered pranks, or do his best to deal with the aftermath. The dude doesn't seem like he's planning world domination or anything, not yet at least. He mostly steals food, books and generally entertaining things, just in a very extravagant and eye-catching manner. He seems to love disrupting the grey weekdays of everyday people by reversing gravity in the grocery store and taking all the Smarties, or turning traffic lights pink, purple and blue. If it weren't for the eternally panicking civilians, Jackie would find this whole deal very entertaining. He's certainly happy to have a villain to fight who doesn't aim to commit mass murder or rob banks.

Jackie jumps from rooftop to rooftop on his evening patrol. He halts when movement catches his eye down below, and he sees a caped figure sneaking towards one of the candy stands near the edge of the marketplace below. It's the magical cat guy again.

"Hey!" Jackie calls as he lands on the concrete near him after a three-storey jump that would majorly mess up a regular human.

His arch nemesis flinches, then spins around to look at him, back straightened. His cape swishes as it swirls around him from the movement. Crystal blue eyes glint at Jackie through the gaps in the mask and a small smirk hovers on the magician's lips.

"Get outta here!" Jackie lurches forward as if going on attack and the other jumps back, disappearing into thin air. Jackie stills immediately. He knew what would happen. He never wants to fight, he doesn't want to hurt anyone, and that includes the mysterious magician with a taste for old books and chocolate candy. Jackie knows he can scare him away without a fight, and so he does. But people are starting to gather and so Jackie yells again. "And don't you come back, you coward!"

Violence always makes people feel more secure. And so Jackie acts it out for them half-heartedly.

Walking on rooftops quickly loses its charm if it's your daily job. So when Jackie takes a small detour to one of his favourite ones (nothing special, but the view is nice), he doesn't expect it to supply him with anything interesting. He's pleasantly surprised.

He finds someone else sitting near the edge, staring out over the city and into the sunset. It doesn't take much for Jackie to recognise them as the cat guy. No one else would be sitting on a roof during sundown wearing a big ass black cape. It spreads out behind him and it reminds Jackie of folded black wings. For a moment he wonders if his nemesis can fly.

He doesn't expect to be noticed so quickly.

"Oh, Jackieboy man?" speaks the magician, and it's the first time Jackie really hears him talk, without any prideful acting or shouting behind it. His voice is pleasant and has a sort of melody to it, maybe simply because he's calm and not fighting. Jackie tentatively decides that he kind of likes it. "Feel free to sit if you'd like, I'm not really in the mood to fight right now."

Jackie takes the offer. He sits next to his nemesis, just out of arm's reach. His eyes flicker to the side, then back to the sunset when he decides that there is no immediate threat.

"So, you come here often?" Jackie jokes, a little stiff as he tries to ignore the fact that he's striking up small talk with his arch nemesis.

The other obviously catches the joke, Jackie can see the corner of his mouth tilt upwards, but he answers the question like it really is one. "Yeah, actually. I like the view."

"Funny, I come here a lot too," Jackie tilts his head to the side, eyes back on the sky. He decides it's more comfortable to stare forward. "But I've never seen you here before."

"That's because I'm not an idiot."

Jackie shrugs and goes silent. Were he talking with anyone else, he'd be making jokes. But he doesn't know what to make of this guy. They sit in silence for a while, and Jackie is surprised to find that he's not on edge at all, even with a supposed villain to close to him.

"Okay, what's with the cat mask?" Jackie blurts, looking over to the magician. It's always bothered him a little.

The other huffs. "Easy. I needed a mask and it was the easiest one to steal. That's it," he shrugs. "I guess I'm sentimental seeing as I never decided to replace it," then he looks over to Jackie for the first time during their conversation. "But at least I have a good fashion sense."

Jackie agrees, though silently. The guy, aside from the eccentric cat mask, always appears wearing a black cape, dark jeans, a dark button-up with a black vest, even his hair is brushed back neatly...he certainly looks like a professional and suave magician through and through. Jackie applauds him for that.

"I mean," the magician gives Jackie a teasing smirk. "A blue mask to go with a red suit? Really?"

"Shut up," Jackie rolls his eyes with a small laugh. "It was all I had at the time. You're not the only one who's sentimental, you know," without thinking about what he's doing he knocks his head back, pulling his hood off, and brushes his hand through his hair to get it out of his face.

The cat dude's eyes narrow as he watches. "Oh, so maybe we aren't so different after all," he mocks, and it takes Jackie a second to realise what he means. Coincidentally, they both have green hair, even if different shades.

Jackie laughs. "It was meant to be, dude!"

The magician laughs too, ducking his head and pulling his shoulders up. Jackie decides to give him more reasons to laugh.

"Maybe all this has ever been about is who has the better hairdresser! The first one to have noticeable roots loses!"

"Well, in that case," he takes another moment to try and control his giggling. He laughs easily. Jackie wonders when was the last time before this that he laughed, actually. "You've already lost."

"Why?"

"Mine's magic," he grins slyly. "I can't really go to the hairdresser being an evil villain, can I? Plus it's just such a hassle."

"Wow, you lucky devil," Jackie says, genuinely envying him. He hates having to redye his hair every now and again.

"I know, right? Magical, handsome, and with the most fabulous hair in the city!"

"Hey, I never said that!"

"Well, I did."

Jackie laughs again. He can't remember the last time he had so much fun just bantering around with someone.

Suddenly he comes to his senses. This guy is a villain. He's joking around with an evil, twisted, rotten to the core...No. He watches as the magician wheezes from laughing, wiping at his eyes clumsily because his mask is getting in the way but he's tearing up from laughter. No, Jackie decides. He can't be evil, he just can't. Someone who can laugh like this, make jokes and watch the sunset with him without a care in the world, without being afraid of getting caught...he can't be evil. He's just a kid, with bright eyes, a taste for adventure and barely the start of a beard. He’s just a kid. Just like Jackie.

"What?" the magician asks, successfully snapping Jackie out of staring at him.

Jackie shakes his head and offers the other a small smile. "You're not evil, are you?" he says softly. "You're not evil. Why are you doing this then?"

The masked guy's face falls and Jackie can see the smile drain from his eyes. His shoulders square and before Jackie could apologise or ask what's wrong, he pushes himself up to stand. "I've got to go now."

Jackie remains sitting on the ground, watching as he turns, cape catching in the breeze. He doesn't understand what’s so wrong suddenly. As strange as it is, it almost felt like they were becoming friends.

"Wait!" he shouts and the magician stills. "You know my name, but I never caught yours."

His shoulders loosen a little before he turns his head to look back at Jackie. "I'm Marvin," he says with a small, sad smile. "Marvin the Magnificent."

And with that, he's gone.

Jackie doesn’t see Marvin for a few days after that and he finds himself growing worried. The more he thinks over their conversation, the more convinced he is that Marvin isn’t evil. Maybe there’s some straightening to be done about his morals and devices, but he’s not evil. And Jackie stubbornly wants to talk to him again.

He’s so deep in thought during his evening patrol that he almost misses the commotion at the side of the street. There’s people gathering around something, pushing around each other to get a better look at that something, and shouting. Jackie struggles his way through the crowd as quick as he can.

When he wished he could see Marvin again, he certainly didn’t mean this.

He arrives just in time to see Marvin thrown to the ground, landing hard on his side and taking just a second too long to move again for Jackie’s liking. There’s a large, very hairy and equally angry man towering above him, and Jackie guesses he’s not the merciful kind. He acts before he really thinks about what he’s doing.

“Okay, that’s enough,” he stands right in front of the large, angry man, instinctively shielding Marvin with his body. “I’ll take this from here if you don’t mind.”

Jackie silently thanks his luck that no one questions a superhero’s authority. The crowd disperses once they realise they won’t get to see Jackie actually fighting, and even the guy who handled Marvin leaves without another word, only shooting Marvin a disgusted look. Jackie waits until they’re all out of hearing distance before turning to Marvin.

“Hey, you okay? Can you stand?”

Marvin doesn’t answer, but he pushes himself up to a stand. He’s suspiciously only using one arm to do it, and Jackie knows that landing on his side like that could have caused some serious damage. His instinct is to check and take care of Marvin, but he knows the magician would not accept that, for obvious reasons.

As soon as he’s on his feet, Marvin takes a couple steps back and away from Jackie. He eyes the hero warily. Jackie can practically see his every muscle tense and wound tight, ready to spring and flee.

“Are you okay?” Jackie asks again softly, really hoping for an answer.

“Why are you doing this?” Marvin all but hisses, and Jackie’s breath catches in his throat. It’s definitely not the response he had been expecting. “Why are you helping me?”

“Marvin-...”

Marvin doesn’t let him speak. “I’m a villain, I’m evil!” his voice starts to rise and Jackie can swear he hears desperation behind his words.

“No, you’re not,” Jackie says calmly. If there’s something he’s sure of now, it’s this.

“Yes, I am, I’m evil!” Marvin is almost shouting now. His eyes are wide, frantic, he looks almost like a cornered animal. Jackie doesn’t know what could be going through his head but he knows he’s scared. “So why are you helping me?”

“You’re not evil, Marvin.”

“Stop saying that and answer me!” tears spill from Marvin’s eyes and he takes another step back. Loose magic sparks at his fingertips, harmless on its own but deadly if directed properly. He’s in no state to control his abilities well enough right now. “Why are you being nice to me? Why?!”

Jackie wants to calm him, but he doesn’t know how. He just wants to help, he really does, and he still refuses to believe that Marvin really is evil. But he doesn’t know Marvin, he doesn’t know how he would react to anything nor how to pull him from a breakdown like this. He wants nothing more than to help him, but he has no idea how.

Marvin really is just a scared kid, isn’t he?

“I want to help you,” Jackie starts again, hoping his voice comes out soothing and not nervous. “You don’t need to be doing this,” this – stealing, running, fending for himself on his own. “Who is making you do this?”

That last part comes unplanned, and Jackie wishes he could take it back the moment he says it. It visibly makes Marvin snap and he bolts, his instincts pushing him to run as he disappears into thin air before Jackie could catch him, leaving nothing but an unbridled gush of wind behind. Jackie numbly lets it push at him as he stares blankly at the spot Marvin had been standing in just a moment before.

Jackie keeps going back to the rooftop where he had first talked with Marvin every day after that. Every evening he sits, watching the sunset in solitude. He knows Marvin probably never wants to talk to him again, he knows he has almost no chance Marvin would approach him if he saw him waiting there, but he still comes back. Every single evening.

A week passes by, uneventful. No magical pranks, no robberies, no cat-masked magicians with bright eyes and even brighter laughs who flee as if they were just playing tag with the wind. Jackie finds himself missing him.

“No one is making me do this,” speaks a voice suddenly from somewhere behind Jackie, but he isn’t startled. In fact, he can’t help but smile with relief. Marvin is back. “But it’s the only thing I’ve ever known to do,” Jackie can hear his footsteps, quiet and sparing of energy, making their way slowly towards him. Marvin stands near him, just out of arm’s reach, and he looks down at Jackie with a faraway look in his eyes. His cape catches in the wind and once again it reminds Jackie of wings. He doesn’t sit like last time. “I don’t know why a hero like you would offer help to a villain like me.”

Jackie smiles up at him. Maybe he’s too trusting, having his guard down like this talking to Marvin, but he can’t find it in himself to care. “Because you’re not evil.”

“Do you really think that?” Marvin squints, badly veiled curiosity in his voice.

“Yeah.”

Marvin shakes his head and looks toward the sunset instead. He looks thoughtful and very pretty, with the way the golden light catches on the dark of his clothes, Jackie thinks. His hopes of getting to know the magician better have yet to cease.

“I can’t find myself believing it,” Marvin sighs. Jackie feels bad for him.

“Then I’ll just have to keep saving your life until you do,” he’s trying to bring back the joking atmosphere of the first time they’d met on this roof. He wants to see Marvin smile again.

Laughing quietly to himself, a tired, humourless laugh, Marvin shakes his head and turns to leave. But just like last time, he stops when Jackie calls out to him.

“I meant it, you don’t have to keep doing this,” Jackie scrambles up and stands before him, eyes searching what he can see of the magician’s face. “Come with me, stay with me, we can be heroes together,” he can’t keep back his excited grin and he puts a hand on Marvin’s upper arm without thinking about it. “You don’t have to be a villain anymore.”

Marvin doesn’t look at him, but his hand comes up to hold Jackie’s on his arm and Jackie doesn’t pull it away. Marvin can’t remember the last time someone had touched him without the intentions of hurting him. He misses it.

“You really are a hero, aren’t you?” he smiles to himself, voice quiet. “Always trying to save everyone, even a fuck-up like me.”

“Marvin...”

Marvin hums, squeezing Jackie’s hand in his. “I’ll think about it.”

Then he steps away, and before Jackie could take a breath to talk he’s gone again.

He shows up on Jackie’s doorstep the night after.

He’s a little surprised when Jackie opens the door. Of course he wasn’t expecting him to be wearing his superhero outfit 24/7, but he’s definitely never thought about Jackie in civil clothes before either. So he does a mental double take when he sees Jackie wearing flannel and a pair of glasses.

What baffles Marvin even more is that Jackie smiles at him, a warm, inviting smile as if he had been hoping Marvin would show up. Marvin doesn’t know how that would ever happen.

“I thought about your offer,” Marvin states simply, trying not to get intimidated by the mixture of his own anxiety and the fact that Jackie is taller than him. “I don’t want to be a villain anymore.”

Jackie’s grin widens at that and Marvin’s heart flutters. Is he really this happy just because of Marvin’s change of heart? Surely not.

“I’m really glad to hear that!” he does seem genuinely happy. He opens the door wider as an invitation towards Marvin. “You wanna come in? Your timing is perfect, I’m making tea and it’s just about done. Do you want any?”

Marvin returns his smile nervously. “Y-yeah, sure. Thanks.”

He only half-hears Jackie talking about how he’s pretty sure he still has some cheesecake left as Marvin follows him inside. The place is nothing special, but it’s nice and homey, and the best thing about it is still Jackie with his enthusiasm and welcoming attitude. Marvin is convinced there must have been a mistake. There’s no way Jackieboy man, the hero of the city, is inviting him into his own home and offering him tea.

But Jackie doesn’t seem fazed. On the contrary, he seems absolutely delighted by Marvin’s presence. Marvin starts to feel like he’s visiting a good friend instead of, well...he isn’t exactly sure what to call whatever he’s doing right now.

He stirs his tea slowly once they’re sitting on the couch together. He’s left his cape at the door where coats usually go, along with his mask in place of a hat, and he’s more comfortable than he’s felt in a long while.

“So, is this when you tell me that you knew I would take your offer anyway?” Marvin asks, only half joking. He’s still sure there’s more to this than meets the eye.

Jackie chuckles, leisure enough to take a sip of his still hot tea before answering. “No, I didn’t know if you would,” he starts as he reaches for the container of sugar that’s sitting on the coffee table. “I just knew you weren’t evil. I didn’t know if you’d accept my offer, I just...hoped, I guess.”

“Hoped?” now that’s something Marvin didn’t expect to hear. He expected a trap, or a deal to exploit his abilities, but this? No, the way Jackie said that suggests something completely different.

Jackie shrugs sheepishly as he stirs his tea. “I knew I was lonely being a hero on my own,” he looks at Marvin with a hopeful smile glinting in his eyes. “And I kind of just assumed you didn’t like being a villain on your own either. I thought we’d make a good team.”

Marvin stares at him for a while, trying to figure out his intentions, whether he’s lying or not. Jackie doesn’t seem to mind, he doesn’t look away, and the soft smile doesn’t leave his lips.

In the end Marvin is the first to avert his eyes, and he laughs into his mug as he talks. “You’re a dreamer.”

Jackie takes the comment without offence. “What else would I be?” he muses nonchalantly. “Plus, I like a good story,” he sits up straighter and carefully nudges Marvin. It’s a little gesture that’s meant to be playful, yet tentative enough not to scare either of them. Marvin appreciates it. “And having a pretty magician as a potential ally sure as Hell sounds like the start of one.”

#marvin the magnificent #jackieboy man #jacksepticeye #au #fanfiction #writing #i either don't write shit or i write 3k+ words in a day there's no in between my dudes #i really like this idea now #and i'm a sucker for character and relationship development #so don't be too surprised if i write more for this in the future #i feel like exploring this more

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fae-fucker · 7 years

Text

Crown of Midnight: Chapter 1-2

Fuck you.

Fuck me.

Fuck this.

Let’s do this.

Chapter 1

We open on Sardines being all assassin-y (took you long enough, you silly blond bitch) and sneaking into some nobleman’s house.

Concealed beneath a black mask and hood, she willed herself to melt into the shadows, to become nothing more than a slip of darkness.

*deep sigh*

I can’t believe I’m doing this shit again. Why do I hate myself this much?

The [servant] hadn’t noticed the wet footprints on the floorboards.

How convenient.

Lord Nirall was no older than thirty-five, and his wife, dark haired and beautiful, slept soundly in his arms.

Gotta make sure the wife is beautiful!! What else are women good for, right?

Feminism!

Sardines wonders what this man did to offend the king so. But then she doesn’t?

It wasn’t her place to ask questions. Her job was to obey. Her freedom depended on it.

If you wanted freedom so bad, why didn’t you just escape as soon as you found the secret escape route, you dumb bitch?

Her sword slid out of its sheath with barely a whine. She took a shuddering breath, bracing herself for what would come next.

I can’t believe it’s only chapter one and I already have to bust this one out, but damn:

Some assassin.

Chapter 2

Sardines is back in the castle delivering “Lord Nirall’s” severed head and some other goodies.

No one spoke as it bounced, a vulgar thudding of stiff and rotting flesh on marble. It rolled to a stop at the foot of the dais, milky eyes turned toward the ornate glass chandelier overhead.

Mmm, yes, Sarah! Sarah, I just LOOOOVE it when you get so edgy! Look how dark and mature your books are, Sarah!

The king notes that he can barely recognize him because of all the cuts and slashes on his face. I’m assuming since Jammo can’t actually write a morally grey protagonist, it’s not actually Lord Nirall and Sardines has just been finding coprses that look like her victims or some shit.

Celaena gave him a crooked smile, though her throat tightened.

Yep, ok, that’s exactly what it is.

Supposedly Sardines is supposed to be this brilliant social strategist, but as soon as somebody even slightly doubts her lies, she just flips her shit and starts getting nervous.

Some MASTER MANIPULATOR.

She extended the hand to Chaol, whose bronze eyes were distant as he took it from her and offered it to the king. The king’s lip curled, but he pried the ring off the stiff finger.

Why didn’t you just ... bring the ring. Without any hands.

Is it just to make it more gruesome, Jammo? Is that what it is? You realize it just makes it dumber, yes?

And why aren’t these chunks of rotting flesh filled with maggots? Would that just be too icky, Jammo? You can only handle Hollywood edginess? PG-13 edginess?

“What of his wife?” the king demanded, turning the ring over in his fingers again and again.

“Chained to what’s left of her husband at the bottom of the sea,” Celaena replied with a wicked grin, and removed the slender, pale hand from her sack.

Why did the king even have to ask this? Didn’t he give the order? Did he just say “uuuhhh kill the guy” and Sardines didn’t even ask what to do with the wife?

God, these people are so dumb.

The king mentions that there’s a rebellion brewing in Rifthold but he only has one name so far.

On [the paper] was a single name: Archer Finn.

It took every ounce of will and sense of self-preservation to keep her shock from showing.

1) Someone teach this bitch how to pokerface.

2) There’s just one name on the piece of paper that Chaol hands to her on the king’s order. Why couldn’t he just SAY THE GODDAMN NAME? With his mouth hole?

Whatever. Sardines recognizes Archer and mentions that he’s hot and she used to have a crush on him, so he’s probably mildly important or his death will be super tragic.

He’d been several years older, already a highly sought-after courtesan … who was in need of some training on how to protect himself from his rather jealous clients. And their husbands.

Uuh ... bonus points for male courtesans, I guess?

He’d been handsome and kind and jovial, not a traitor to the crown so dangerous that the king would want him dead.

It was absurd. Whoever was giving the king his information was a damned idiot.

Sardines, the smartest being in this world: UUUUHHH THIS DOESN’T MATCH THE THINGS I KNOW!!! EVERYBODY ELSE IS WRONG!!!

Though that’s probably true, since we all know Smaas could never handle Sardines being anything but absolute perfection.

“You know Archer? I’m not surprised.” A taunt—a challenge.

She just stared ahead, willing herself to calm, to breathe. “I used to. He’s an extraordinarily wellguarded man. I’ll need time to get past his defenses.” So carefully said, so casually phrased.

If you say so, curiously crusted book page. I mean it’s an obvious and rather clichéd attempt at making more time for herself, but I guess the king is a dumbass and SJM can’t actually write for shit, so this passes for cleverness.

It works, too. The king, who’s supposedly a shitty dictator who’s afraid of this rebellion killing him, still gives her an entire month. Yeah, that makes sense. Gotta love it when you have to nerf your villains because your hero is a fucking imbecile.

Honey, king-boy, the correct response here is: “BITCH, MY ACTUAL LIFE IS ON THE LINE, YOU HAVE TWO DAYS, GET!! ON!! IT!!”

It’s especially stupid when this is happening IN THE TOWN THEY LIVE IN. So the fact that this dumbass lie works is just pathetic, honestly.

“Then you have one month,” the king said. “And if he’s not buried by then, perhaps I shall reconsider your position, girl.”

Wow. Damn. SJM, be nicer to your heroes. We’re on the edge of our seats here. How will they possibly defeat this very intimidating villain.

“Be discreet. Your payment for Nirall is already in your chambers.”

1) Do you really have to tell your stealthy assassin to be discreet? Well, I guess since it’s Sardines, you kinda do. What a nice self-roast there, book.

2) Do you also have to tell her that her payment’s in the chambers? Hasn’t she done this a couple of times already? Shouldn’t she know this?

Smaas, why.

We switch POV to Doriass, who angsts about how edgy and evil Sardines is now and how she maybe doesn’t actually love him and manipulated him to love her!

Yeah, she’s not that smart, Doriass.

Actually, for the two months since she’d been named the King’s Champion, she’d been like this. Her lovely dresses and ornate clothes were gone, replaced by an unforgiving, close-cut black tunic and pants, her hair pulled back in a long braid that fell into the folds of that dark cloak she was always wearing. She was a beautiful wraith—and when she looked at him, it was like she didn’t even know who he was.

1) UNFORGIVING TUNIC.

2) This is the second time she’s described as a wraith in the first two chapters. Who edited this?

A gibbon.

But he couldn’t help wondering if he’d ever meant anything to Celaena at all.

Cry me a river with your manpain, Doriass.

We switch POV back to Sardines. (Well, that was utterly pointless.) She angsts bout how Chaol hasn’t been looking at her the same way ever since she started with the murder and stuff, and she meets with him in the secret passages of the castle or what-the-fuck-ever-who-gives-a-damn.

“Are you still acting like the King’s Champion, or are you back to being Celaena?” In the torchlight, his bronze eyes glittered.

This is the second time his eyes are described as bronze in this chapter.

I have a feeling that this book was created and “perfected” by a bunch of horny drunk women throwing their own shit at the walls.

We get more of Sarah’s trademark tepid banter that the fangirls probably think is super hilarious and SASSILY FEMINIST.

Chaol tells her that he’s been worried and thought she’d been murdered, so they hug it out.

He hadn’t held her since the day she’d learned she had officially won the competition, though the memory of that embrace often drifted into her thoughts. And as she held him now, the craving for it never to stop roared through her.

ROARED.

He tells her that she smells bad.

She hissed and shoved him, her face burning in earnest now. “Carrying around dead body parts for weeks isn’t exactly conducive to smelling nice! And maybe if I’d been given time for a bath instead of being ordered to report immediately to the king, I might have—” She stopped herself at the sight of his grin and smacked his shoulder. “Idiot.”

This is, like, AT LEAST 10 feminisms.

We get another scene change.

After a joyous Fleetfoot calmed down enough for Celaena to speak without being licked [...]

I’m gonna eat that fucking dog.

Sardines angst some more about Elena and about how ...

Fucking called it.

She’d given Lord Nirall the same choice she’d given Sir Carlin: die right then, or fake his own death and flee—flee far, and never use his given name again. So far, of the four men she’d been assigned to dispatch, all had chosen escape.

Apparently, this LE EPIC ASSASSIN saw that Sir Carlin was a cool dude and just couldn’t put a knife in his throat. She only killed BAD PEOPLE, remember? Which makes no sense, considering how shitty evil her mentor was. Why would he even allow that? Whatever.

God forbid we have an actual female anti-hero, right Smaas? You wouldn’t wanna imply your bitchy little twat princess is anything but a perfect beacon of morality.

Curiously, we don’t find out whether she saw the other men acting as kind and cutesy perfect as Sir Carlin. What if they were assholes? I wouldn’t enjoy Sardines playing god, but the fact that she did it before and doesn’t do it now makes no sense either.

We find out that she’s been finding corpses from sick-houses to replace the dudes for the crime scenes.

But with magic gone and those wise healers hanged or burned, people were dying in droves. Dying from stupid, once-curable illnesses.

Alright, here cometh an epic rant:

1) I can maybe buy that the king doesn’t know all of the nobles who live far away, at least not enough to recognize them by appearance. What I can’t buy is the servants not recognizing their masters. That’s just plain dumb. Even if she fucked up their faces or cut their heads off, they’r still recognize the bodies as not theirs.

2) So, do they not have non-magical healers? Did the king know that the world needed magic to survive and that they had no non-magical medicine and still went “nah, just kill them all”. We never really find out if the king truly killed magic of if it went away, so like ??? What’s the truth here?

3) If they have no non-magical healthcare, WHY THE FUCK DOES THE KING LET HER JUST BRING DEAD THINGS INTO HIS THRONE ROOM AND WHY DOES HE TOUCH THOSE DEAD THINGS. WHAT THE FUCK!!!

4) If Sardines has been stealing corpses and not actually killed any of the dudes, then her little angsty thoughts about how bad she feels about killing this man and how it’s not her job to question but to obey are nothing but misleading bullshit. It doesn’t make any sense for her to be thinking that! WHY DID SHE EVEN UNSHEATHE HER SWORD IF SHE KNEW SHE WASN’T GOING TO KILL HIM?! HE’S MENTIONED TO OPEN HIS EYES SO HE’D JUST SCREAM AND FREAK OUT AND CALL ATTENTION TO HER!!

SJM why.

Celaena fought a shudder. She was playing a very, very lethal game. And now that her targets were people in Rifthold—now that it was Archer … She’d have to find a way to play it better. Because if the king ever learned the truth, if he found out what she was doing …

He’d destroy her.

God, I fucking hope.

It’s only been two chapters and I’m already tired.

#eff reads: crown of midnight #book rants #anti tog #anti sjm

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