#if you saw the version with the typo no you fucking didn't

[keymintt]

cycles, and the wheels that turn them

#art #fanart #disco elysium #harry du bois #kim kitsuragi #kimharry #harrykim #idr which is the technical ship name #my art #digital #comic #comics #disco elysium fanart #harry disco elysium #kim disco elysium #anyways shoutout to disco elysium giving me brainworms and also an idea to make a comic again. it has been Too Long since i've finished one #also i know this is super short but i like. hope the characterization is alright? i'm probably stressing too much over how plausible it #would eb for kim to buy harry a sandwhich but. such is the way i am hklghdflk #if you saw the version with the typo no you fucking didn't #greatest hits

[pinkeoni]

I Become Dragon

(a poem after Will Byers)

The man finds me in the field  I scream unto the man— “Go away!” 

I open He pours in lava

The doctors ask me where I burn  I say unto the doctors— "Everywhere."

I cannot breathe Out my mouth comes only fire

I become dragon  man becomes ash.

#if you saw the version i posted with the typo no you fucking didn't #yeah idk what this is #ive just been reading so much poetry and i always have will on the mind so #will byers #byler #<- target audience #poetry #my poem #my writing

[superkitty21]

And you KNOW this shit will stick with her for the rest of her career

#Olivia Wilde #Don't Worry Darling #the BLATANT misogyny #this shit has turned me into a Wilde defender even though she comes off a pretty unlikeable in interviews and I didn't even like the movie #female directors are historically labled 'difficult' or 'unprofessional for shit male directors do all the time #and she didn't even do anything #this was going to be a text post but i distilled my thoughts into meme format #also FUCK every 'news' site that publishes uncorroborated gossip as facts #if you saw the version of this post with typos no you didn't >:( #mine

[crispywisp]

managed to find a cel and its matching sketch from my favorite scene in lupin iii: farewell to nostradamus (showing the tagalog dub with my translation because it's genuinely great, also "defective" is not a typo, it's lupin's nickname for detective zenigata in this dub lmao)

being able to obtain a cel that i instantly recognized from a movie/scene i love was one of the things on my bucket list, so im extremely happy to have found this!!

more photos and notes about the artwork under the cut:

the cel and sketch came in one packet, i was initially pretty worried because the package didn't have any sort of hard surface like cardboard to prevent it from bending a lot, but fortunately it's in great condition

whoever previously owned this stapled the cel to the sketch (😭), so i was bracing for the cel's paint to be stuck to the paper since it's 20+ years old, but i let out the biggest fucking sigh of relief when i saw that it was miraculously still separated, so i went ahead and carefully removed the staple

back of the cel

close ups of the cel (zenigata's legs are completely cropped out in the final film, a very strong clue that this is authentic)

the cel shows very early stages of vinegar syndrome (slight deterioration on the cel structure, though no wrinkling, and super faint vinegar smell) and has light fading in the lineart, but it's still pretty well preserved for its age (made around 1994 or 1995), this cel will have to be stored separately from the rest of my collection to prevent it from spreading to them

close up on the sketch

back of the sketch, you can see the tiny pieces of paint from the cel stuck on here

this is most likely a key drawing rather than a breakdown or inbetween drawing based on the circle around "13" in the top right corner of the sketch (breakdowns are usually marked by a line underneath the number, inbetweens are usually unmarked); im surprised this cel didn't cost more since it's a really nice key drawing from a feature film, but im guessing it was cheaper since it's zenigata and not the other main cast characters

there is a tiny timing chart near the bottom, i've reached out to my animation lead co-worker to ask if she knows what this indicates since im not very confident in reading timing charts yet haha, will update this note once she gets back to me

EDIT: my co-worker has responded, she said that the timing chart on the sketch is most likely a very simplified version of a quarter timing, here is her note:

some more tiny notes on the sketch, if anyone knows what the japanese notes say, let me know!

EDIT: my co-worker also said that the X's in the sketch most likely indicate that those are empty areas, telling whoever is doing the cleanup to not color in those spots (i had noticed afterwards that there are more X's in other spots that are meant to be empty, so she's definitely on the money)

EDIT: @cultistzenyatta has informed me that the japanese note should read "shirt" シャツ, as in to distinguish between zenigata's coat and shirt sleeve for cleanup to color in

and here's the artwork in their separate storage packets, gonna add them to the portfolio binder :D

(also, im currently creating my own site to showcase my cel and sketch collection all in one place, so i'll make a post about it once it's nearly done 🙂)

#the wisp whispers #cels #zenigata #lupin iii #farewell to nostradamus

[julemmaes]

“"can i have one more hug?" "aw, babe you don't have to ask, c'mere...”

For feysand?

And yes I will send a million of these don’t test me.

Love your work!!!!!

This was actually so cute, I hardly ever write Feysand so I forget how easily they come to me, but I love their ff versions.

No warnings, this is straight up fluff. I didn't reread so there might be typos and mistakes, be patient with me. Enjoy!:)

Word count: ~2k

Feyre stretched out like a cat on the side of the pool. Her back arched while she yawned and her shoulders dug in the hard stone floor, scratching her skin, but she didn't mind the subtle pain that came with it. 

Her son's giggles were filling the otherwise silent space and she turned on her side, with her arm bent under her head, just in time to see the toddler dive underwater. Azriel was standing right next to him with his hands hovering above the surface in case Nyx needed help coming up for air, but the kid was a pro at swimming. 

Not that that made his uncle not torture himself with worry. Azriel was probably gonna pass out any minute, if he didn't stop holding his breath whenever Nyx went in. 

When the baby swam up to her, all smiley and spluttering, Feyre reached out a hand that Nyx promptly took, gripping it so hard his knuckles became white. 

"Hi, mommy!" He shrieked, somewhat out of breath. 

Feyre chuckled and scooted closer to the edge, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him out on dry land. He launched himself at her, immediately putting his arms around her neck and sitting on her stomach, making her gasp.

Azriel's soft smile before he swam away was one of reasons why Feyre never doubted her friend's love for Nyx. 

She heaved out a laugh when her son kneed her in the ribs in his excitement, hugging her tighter. 

"Are you having fun?" She asked, smoothing a hand down his back and parting from him just enough to look him in the eyes.

Nyx nodded frantically, popping his goggles off his face, "I'm a mermaid." 

"Oh, absolutely. Yepyep," she nodded, inciting him to continue.

"And uncle Azriel made me do the– he made me go under his legs." Nyx was still catching his breath, stuttering his words. Feyre touched the skin around his eyes, trying to soothe the red lines caused by the goggles. 

Before she could ask him more, Nyx was up again, his short legs struggling to straighten around her hips. Then, with a swift kick to her stomach, he jumped back into the pool, only coming up one second before he was diving down towards his aunts, who were peacefully sunbathing on their inflatable mattresses.

Feyre shook her head and massaged her sore side after all those attacks and decided it was time to get up, check what her husband and friends were up to.

Now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen Rhys, Cass and Lucien in a tad too long. 

Making sure one last time that her son was safe with adults checking on him, she tiptoed her way to their summer estate. She'd just stepped inside when Nesta's loud shriek reached her ears. 

Glancing back, she saw her standing in the water, drenched from head to toe, her mattress flipped upside down while she glared daggers into Azriel's face. Nyx was perched on his uncle's side, laughing his heart out at the expense of her sister's peace. Feyre shook her head and walked in, dripping water everywhere.

The house was unnaturally silent and she knew the three men she was hunting down couldn't keep quiet for the love of their life, so there was only one room where they could possibly be hiding. And if Feyre was right, they were gonna get in trouble. 

She walked down the stairs that led to their basement and the muffled screams and shouts coming from inside made her roll her eyes. 

She opened the door, taking a total of three steps before Cassian jumped up from his spot on the couch, fisting the air as whatever team they were rooting for scored a goal.

Lucien sipped his beer, nodding excitedly, "Fuck yes." 

Feyre crossed her arms and as loudly as she could she cleared her throat, a reprimanding expression on her face. 

Cassian swirled on his feet, screaming in fright. He brought a hand to his chest, "Jesus fuck, Feyfey. You can't just sprung up on us like that." 

"Oh yes. Yes, I can when my husband and brothers-in-law decide to sneak away during a pool party to do the one thing their wives asked them not to." 

She pinned her husband with her glare, but Rhys was already grinning at her, his eyes sparkling with the thrill of having been caught.

"Hello, Feyre darling," he said smoothly, extending a hand over the back of the couch. Her body reacted before she could remember that she was supposed to be angry at him.

She sidestepped the couch and sat on the armrest, her hand going straight to the back of Rhys' neck. His arm snaked around her hips and he sighed as she fell on the cushions and nestled against his side. 

"Who's playing?" She asked quietly. 

Rhysand was brushing his nose along her arm, leaving kisses on her shoulders on the way up. Goosebumps rose on her skin when his lips brushed her collarbone, "Velaris against Adriata." 

She eyed the score on the top corner. 3-0 for their home team. And they only had five minutes left before the game ended.

Feyre relaxed then, placing her head on Rhysand's chest when he leaned back and put his arm around her shoulders. His fingers started lazily tracing the lines of her tattoos and she closed her eyes. She could wait five minutes before scolding them. 

"Did, uhm…" Lucien sounded genuinely scary as he tried to speak. Feyre looked his way, one eyebrow arched in question. Her oldest friend scratched his chin, "Elain. Did she notice I was gone?" 

Cassian snorted, glancing his way for one second before going back to the screen. "You're scared of our flower girl?" 

Lucien stared at his back, "You would be too if you knew what she's capable of."

"She didn't notice, don't worry," she said, amused by his fear. And then, since she was getting increasingly bored, "But Nesta," she tisked, and Cassian's head snapped her direction. "I heard Nesta was looking for you, big guy. You're gonna be grounded for a looong time."

She had never seen a grown up man with Cassian's proportions move that fast in her entire life. The quickness in which he disappeared upstairs shocked everyone into silence and then Lucien chuckled.

"You're scared of our flower girl?" He mocked Cassian's previous words, moving his head like one of those car dolls. Then he got up, turned off the tv and told them he would go and check on the bbq. Within five seconds they were alone. 

Rhysand didn't seem bothered by Lucien turning off the game and Feyre knew he'd never been that big of a football fan anyway, which only prompted her annoyance more.

"Why were you here?" She asked, turning slightly so that she was facing him. She propped her feet on the couch, sliding them under his muscular thigh. One of his hands wrapped around her ankle and he started massaging her leg. "I asked you one thing, you could have at least respected that." 

He breathed through his nostrils, grimacing, "I know, I'm sorry." 

Feyre poked him on the side, making him wince. She pressed her forehead to his chest and he ran a hand down her hair, stopping to cup the nape of her neck. 

"Still, your son is swimming like an Olympian and you're hiding in your basement with your friends," she pushed, her voice muffled as she cuddled deeper and deeper into her husband's body. "I'm sure he would love to show you his new moves." She joked, shimming her shoulders, trying not to sound too disappointed.

"Cassian needed to talk to us about something," Rhys explained, leaning forward and leaving a kiss on her cheek. That piqued our attention, but before she could ask, he disentangled himself from their little nest and got up and walked to the fridge, leaving her gaping on the couch. "And nop, I'm not allowed to tell you. It's classified." 

He popped open a bottle of cherry cola and stared at her still sitting, now pouting at him.

She knew it probably sounded childish, but she missed him already. She wanted his hands on her again. 

Rhys smiled, his eyes softening, "What is it?" 

"Can I have one more hug?" Feyre whispered. 

His shoulders sagged, his entire demeanor changing as he walked to her. His hand went to her jaw, tilting her head back and he leaned down to kiss her softly. 

"Baby," he whispered on her lips, taking her hand in his, "you don't have to ask. C'mere." 

Feyre reluctantly stood up and when he wrapped his arms around her, she let go of a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. 

Rhysand was massaging her back, his hand slowly going up and down between her shoulder blades in a shooting motion. Her arms went around his waist and she pressed her cheek to his chest, right where his heart was beating calmly. 

He moved and one of his hands clutched the back of her head, pushing her impossibly closer to him. She tightened her hold on him, closing her eyes to soak in every second of it and he chuckled, the sound a little broken.

"Thank you," he murmured in her hair, leaving a kiss on her forehead. 

"What for?" Feyre asked in his naked chest. 

Rhysand shifted, bringing her head back and locking their eyes together. His were bursting with emotion when he shrugged and said, "I just love you so much." 

She huffed, feeling tears pick at her eyes. She pushed away from him, grimacing, and he laughed.

"Stop being so..  you, you're gonna make me cry." 

"Don't go. Come back," he was grinning, holding her wrist. Feyre shook her head. "I love you." 

She let her head roll to the side, glaring at him from under her lashes. His smile was blinding. 

It was a second before he pulled her in again and smashed their lips together. She was rigid in his arms, surprised by that sudden movement, but as his mouth sang her favorite melody, she melted in his embrace. 

Her lips parted to welcome him in and he groaned when their tongues met. Her hands snaked up his chest, tangling in his hair as she pushed him down to touch her. Her breasts squeezed between them and when one of his hands traveled down her waist, to hook under her thigh, she shivered in pleasure.

Rhys tore away from her, keeping his hand on her shoulders and breathing hard. His eyes were fixed on her parted lips and he shook his head. 

"We can't. Not here, not now," he breathed out. 

Feyre was finding it hard not to reach out and just say fuck it, but Emerie's voice sounded from upstair and she moaned, letting her head fall back. 

"I hate our family," she complained.

He chuckled, making her turn and pushing her towards the stairs. "No. No, you don't."

She sighed, "I don't." 

"I promise I'll make it up to you tonight." 

And it was the utter dominance and lust dripping from his voice that made her willingly wiggle her ass in his face. When his hand slapped her right cheek hard, she gasped, running up faster than she ever did, hopingprayingbegging that he would keep his promise and more.

#feysand #feyre archeron #rhysand #side nessian #side elucien #azriel #cassian #lucien vanserra #nesta archeron #nyx archeron #fluff #acotar fic #acotar

[pia-writes-things]

#river and the fucked up punds' dynamic

ok i'll bite, tell me about it

Ok, so, first, that typo is BURNING my eyes 🥲🥲 I'm so sorry Amy and Rory, I would never disrespect you like that on purpose 🥺

Second, this will basically be my Ways To Heal chapters about the Ponds but in essay form, so if you wanna read the angst-filled version, it's there 🥰

Putting all of my unhinged thoughts under a read more because, as predicted, this ended up quite long. And it wasn't prompted, so I'm glad to know I could really do a presentation about them on the spot ^^

So, to start, you have the Ponds, a couple that started, well, not bad, but not great either. But during the course of the 3 seasons we got them, we saw them choose each other, again and again and again. And everytime they chose each other, every time we saw what perfect life looked like for them, there was a kid in the picture. The most obvious example of that is Amy's choice obviously, but the beginning of season 6 is also a big indicator. When we beging season 6, they're settled. They haven't seen the Doctor in a while and they built a domestic life that is theirs. And later in the first two episodes, you learn that Amy thinks she is pregnant. And she is worried for the baby, for what travelling in the Tardis might have done to it (which, in retrospect, she was right about ^^). Her worry, the fact she wants to talk to the Doctor about it, and the fact that Rory and her started to build a life together on Earth makes me think that they had talked about it, had planned for it, and maybe were considering starting trying. So, clearly, having a baby was really important for them. There are a myriad of other moments when we're shown it was really important for them : when Amy explains to Mme Kovarian why she's more than happy to kill her in The Wedding of River Song, the beginning of season 7 and the whole reason she and Rory are about to divorce, and, whether you believe it to be canon or not, the fact that they adopted a kid in Manhattan. A fundamental fact about Amy and Rory is that they wanted kids together, and didn't get to raise Melody. They had to accept River as their daughter while she was already an adult, and probably older than them. They had to accept also, especially Amy, that her birth meant they couldn't have children of their own anymore. They had to accept that their own daughter was always away, never quite fitting in with them. They had to accept that they would never be the family they wished they had.

On the other hand, you have River. River whose life is entirely in disorder compared to her parents. They met her before they knew who she was. They were her friends before they were her parents. She had to lie to their face countless times to protect time and prevent a paradox. She never got to really experience life as their daughter. We got glimpses in The angels take Manhattan and in The Ruby's curse but that's it. And even then, it's moments in her life, always fleeting.

That's where my first point of the fucked up dynamic appears (admittedly I only have two but whatever). See, an established fact of River and the Doctor's story is that they forbid each other at different moments to change their story in any way shape or form. And that include the Ponds' story as a family. At the end of A good man goes to war, the Doctor promises Amy that he will find her daughter. At the beginning of Let's kill Hitler, he's still looking for her. My personal interpretation is that he either didn't look for her, or made the choice not to intervene. I can't believe that the Doctor, clever as he is, Mr. "The laws of time are mine and they will obey me" couldn't find his best friend's daughter, his wife, as a kid, even though he knew when he last saw her. At this point in season 6, he knows the kid in 1969 is River. So, my personal headcanon is that he chose not to look for her, or not to bring her back to Amy and Rory. Because, and that's the thing, if he'd found Melody, she would not become River. If Melody got to be raised by the Ponds and not the Silence, she would never have become River. So, to keep his promise to Amy, he would have had to break the one he did to his wife when she was dying. And he just couldn't do that. So, indirectly, River was responsible for her own fucked up childhood. She was responsible for her parent's unhappiness. Even if it wasn't her direct responsibility, the consequences and implications are there. And, I think, as a daughter, that is a very fucked up thing to know and realise. And River being River, knowing so much about everyone and being so used to being out of order, I think she knew. She knew she was a paradox and the Doctor couldn't change anything about her history. She didn't know about her death and what she told him then, but she knew the rest. So she always knew they were doomed from the start as a family.

Which ties to my second point about their fucked up dynamic. River never got to be raised by her parents. At most, Rory and Amy were her "parent-friends" when they were kids. But it's not the same thing. So, knowing that, knowing all that we said in the precedent paragraph, and knowing that she was raised by Mme Kovarian and the Silence, I think that "Hiding the damages" is as much the Doctor's fault as it is indirectly the Ponds' faults. I think we can all agree that River had a very fucked up, beyond traumatizing, childhood. She didn't have any parents, she was shot at by her own mother (again, not Amy's fault, she didn't know, but still), she was brainwashed, trained to kill, and, weirdly, Mme Kovarin doesn't strike me as a very nurturing parental figure (*irony itensifies*). She never had anyone who could really listen to her, or even know her completely. As a child, no one ever knew her real self, or no one bothered to learn to know her. She was either a future weapon or a story designed to fit in Leadworth. Her parents weren't there for her when she needed them, or they couldn't really be her parents. And - and !- tying all this up with my precedent point, when they finally got to be her parents, she had to live with the fact that her birth, her story, fucked them up beyond measure. She was, though it wasn't her fault, partially responsible for their unhappiness. So, she learned to hide the damages. She kept lying, like she had always done, she kept the pretense of being a good psychopath with no feelings, because it's easier than showing to her parents how much exactly her own story fucked them and her up.

And, I think this will be my conclusion, to me, River being a psychopath is actually just her being traumatised and coping unhealthily. We never really saw her being a real psychopath, or at least a cold-hearted assassin who would shoot at anyone like the show tries to imply she is. She has feelings, and she shows them all the time. Even in The Husband of River Song or Let's kill Hitler, which are the episodes where they try to show River being a psychopath, she isn't really one. The people she wants to kill are themselves assassins, or the person she was literally brainwashed to hate. And she doesn't even really want to kill them for the most part, only scam them. Even the Doctor, in the end, she saves him. To me, River's "psychopath" tendencies, her selfishness that so many people in the fandom hold against her, are just the ways she found to cope with her traumas. It's the only way she found to cope with lying all the time, never having the stability of knowing people and people she loves knowing her. It's easier for her to pretend she is what Mme Kovarian and the Silence wanted to make her that actually showing her true self, when half the time, no one is there to receive it. It's easier to be that way than to be vulnerable. Especially because every time she was vulnerable in her life, it ended badly for her.

So, tldr: River is very fucked up by her childhood and that informs her relationship with her parents, as well as the relationship between her parents. I love them all very much, and they love each other, but apart from Marisa, Asriel and Lyra in His dark materials, the Ponds are probably the most fucked up fictional family I know.

Also, a lot of this essay is based on my interpretations of canon, the characters, and some plotholes Moffat gave us, so I know I might be wrong or biased on some points. But here, you have my rotating thoughts about them! I think about this more than I care to admit tbh ^^

#dw #doctor who #river song #amy pond #rory williams #ask #sae's the best #pia's oversharing #this ended up being very long but I regret nothing #i'm unhinged about them 24/7 and this is just a glimpse of what my brain is like half the time lmao #hope you liked it!

[mrs-monaghan]

Shaz I'm the anon and no I didn't made typo

There's 4 album versions indeed.

3 regular album version + 1 weverse album version

For Jimin we got 1 regular + 1 weverse album version

Thing is weverse album version won't be counted for BB charts. That means Jimin's sale was exclusively from 1 single album version where Tae will get 3 version.

Okay, comment section. Anon says it wasn't a typo 😯

I'm still here

He laughs and jokes and took the whole thing lightly. But it dont change the fact that he was turned down when he asked for MVs for all his songs.

Idc what excuses ot7s try to come up with.... this is a thing that happened. Period. Yes, we are being sensitive about this. But it dont change the fact that Jimin asked for something and he was told it was IMPOSSIBLE.

Gaaaaaàaaah!!!!

Also fuck this person with a cactus

We were mad about SEVEN too. Jikookers talked about the injustice. We still do. We saw what happened and we agree it wasn't fair. Just because we didn't take it out on JK like y'all fuckers wanted us to, doesn't mean that we didn't call out the fuckery that went down

Screw you jiminsdiscussion 🖕🏽

#ask shaz #bts ask #the fuckery #justice for jimin #bts chapter 2

[simstryingtheirbestok]

This is a "what fucks me off about the TS3 subreddit" post. Feel free to skip it! But I have to get this out of my system.

What fucks me off about the sims3 subreddit is that it's the worst of all social media worlds.

Look, reddit sucks. I don't know any social media that doesn't, though Tumblr comes closest for me. But the way reddit traditionally has sucked and the way that particular subreddit sucks now are not the same.

Traditionally, these were kind of the pros and cons of reddit--very, very abridged version:

PROS

Some very knowledgeable, very funny people

Some wide-ranging discussions

There is a subreddit for your niche, whatever it is

CLEAR, WIDELY KNOWN GUIDELINES ABOUT WHEN TO DOWNVOTE

CLEAR, WIDELY KNOWN GUIDELINES ABOUT WHEN TO SELF-PROMOTE

(That's right, I said when to self-promote. That shit is very, very allowed and always has been.)

CONS

Toxic white cishet dudes and their off-the-charts wingnuttery, racism, sexism, ageism, ableism, etc.

Brigading

ZERO tolerance for even the tiniest request for decency towards redditors who are not toxic white cishet dudes

That shitty "I'm an engineer" mindset, if you know, you know

Hypocrisy about downvoting: Where everyone in a subreddit shrieks "only downvote things that don't contribute to discussion!" but then downvotes you for typos

Karma farming

Okay, there were a lot more cons to old reddit than that and I might be am likely overstating the pros, but that's the general outline: In general, mostly, people downvoted stuff that derailed the thread or didn't fit the theme of a subreddit. And in general, mostly, you were allowed (in some subs, encouraged) to self-promote as long as your self-promotion was kept to about 10% of your overall contributions. So if you submitted 9 link posts on, I don't know, geodesic domes or something, on the 10th one you could post a link to your website, geodesicdominion.com or whatever.

The possessive pronoun "my" + [selection of content] didn't really have an analogue on reddit. Every other social media encourages you to apply "my" to the material you find there: My wall, my feed, my TL, my dash--my, my, my.

Reddit didn't really have that. You could, I guess, have said "my subreddits," to indicate the subreddits you were subscribed to, or "my home page," but you would've sounded like a douchebag and you would definitely have been bullied for it.

That's because using "my" as a modifier to other people's work is inherently douche-y behavior. It is fundamentally antisocial. You don't walk into a museum and start talking about "my" art unless you actually have work you did hanging there, but people virtually walk into online content all the time talking about "my."

I think we should all be looking critically at the way every so-called "social" media outlet encourages us to act like douchebags to each other, but that's a topic for another time. Also, lest I sound too preachy, please know that historically, I have been the biggest dbag of all: I wrote rants about The Shit Up With Which I Will Not Put On Myyyyy Dash pretty much daily when I was on Tumblr a decade ago. I am not exempt.

The problem is, now you have old reddit colliding with a new generation of redditors who have come up on the idea of MY when it comes to their social media; so when they get on r/sims3 and they see things they do not like on "their" subreddit, they downvote. Of course, maybe another redditor likes it and would enjoy seeing it, but tough shit!--Callie thinks your lighting mod sucks. Downvote.

Help request that I just saw yesterday? Downvote. Yeah, the two requests were posted by completely different people and yeah, the sub desperately needs to unpin that worthless content directory post and replace it with a link to a good FAQ, but stuff that bores me should not be on myyyyy subbbbb so I'm going to downvote it.

Ugly Sim? Downvote.

Half-assed screenshot? Downvote.

WCIF question that doesn't interest me? Downvote.

Genuinely useful content that would help so many Simmers if only more of them knew about it? Sorry (not sorry), it's competing with a compliment-seeking post about my ✨Simself✨. Downvote. Besides! how dare they self-promote on myyyyy--

So that's what I mean when I say r/sims3 is trash: It's the worst of old reddit ("how dare you attempt to make me feel bad about my vile and inexcusable mods") colliding with new reddit ("Just Google it ♡. Isn't my Simself so cute? 🥺"). And I would lay some of those problems at the feet of the mods, but mods aren't paid and in our capitalist hellscape, you get what you pay for... sometimes. Anyway, I'm sure the mods are genuinely doing their best.

Addendum: A real sanity boost I learned a few years back is "disable replies." I'm an old who uses old reddit, so I don't know whether/how that option is available on new reddit or the app or third-party apps, etc. It's an option at the bottom of everything you ever submit on old.reddit.com, though. By doing this, I only see replies when (or if 🤭) I feel up to it, and I'm not besieged by notifications. Also, sometimes folks get mad that I didn't acknowledge the full expression of their loathing of whatever I said, and that shit is fucking gold. Bullies hate it when they can't command your attention. I recommend.

#non sims #the reddits #being in the nature of a general inquiry on the goddamned WHY of people

[handsome-john]

#I'm so fucking normal about media #cowboy bebop #if you saw the version where i made a typo no you didn't

[annabellenaughtyprincessrose]

My Brothers, The Lovers ❤ (Repost: Classic fanfic)

My Brothers, The Lovers *Revised version*

By Annabelle Naughty Princess Rose

Summary:I wouldn't trade my Brothers for anything in the world. SAM/DEAN/OFC. Wincest!

Rated: MA (18+)

Author notes: Hey guys! Well, I have  another classic fic of mine to share. This was a little idea I had while I wrote this story, an OFC sister of Sam and Dean Winchester, and thier growing forbidden bond. So, this is a Wincest story.

This story was recently published on my Fanfiction.net, as well as on live journal, Wattpad, and WordPress page. There may be some little changes I made because the story had bad typos. (Don't judge me.)

Please note: That this story contains Wincest. If you are uncomfortable with this nature, please DO NOT read!

Lastly, I don't own any characters. The story plot was my idea. ;)

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

(Reader's POV:)

I love my brothers. They are caring. They are protective. When you're feeling down, they turn your frown upside down. If it was over a guy, they would stop at nothing to nail his ass to a wall. Any person, whether boy or girl is lucky to have them.

I wouldn't trade my brothers for anything in the world. They are a godsend. Sam and Dean: my knights in shinning amour.

We been through a lot together. Since our father died, it has been hell on earth...literally!

But no matter, we had stuck it through till the end and now we could live our lives...

A lot has happened since we saved the world from certain doom. We had one hard challenge: to learn how to live normal lives. I mean, I know it sounds stupid to do one simple thing, but come on, In our eyes, we are hunters. We were born as hunters. I don't think the three of us couldn't shake the fact that life was over. It was the only thing we knew.

But still, we somehow mange to cope with it. We settled in Kansas with the help of our father's will. We brought a house pretty much like the one you see on those commercials with the white picket fence.

It was close to the University Sam was planning to attend to resume his studies as a attorney and close to Lisa, Dean's one last stand and his possible legitimate lovechild Ben. I, myself was planning to go to a local Community College. At first, I didn't really wanted to go to school, but Sam insisted that it was serve me well later in life.

Yeah, life was perfect... at least for the half of that year. The urge of the life of freedom were still brewing inside us. We miss the life with no worries, of bills, school, kids...

So we sold the house hop into the impala and left.

About three months after, I noticed that our bond was changing. I noticed Dean would at times, would make quick glances out from the corner of my eye. I really didn't pay to much attention to it at first because I thought it was something that brothers normally do.

But now I found at night when I take turns laying next to him or Sam, at times I could have swore I felt his eyes staring down at me while I sleep.

Sam on the other hand had a very different approach. There would be times whenever me and him are alone, he wouldn't normally act like your typical big brother. He would act as though like a boyfriend. When me and him are alone, He would be a lot closer than usual. At times when I'm in the shower, I could have swore that I heard him breathing on the other side of the curtain not to mention to very tall figure I see just standing mere inches.

I guess I'm just imagination things. That's it's all in my head. Or maybe, I have a bad case of thinking dirty. Can I help it? I am not going to lie. My brothers are absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! They could get the princess of Cambridge a heat attack! I found that comment to be quite interesting! I begin to think the times when the three of us would be out, like geoceries shopping, bars,at the park. I have women rolling their eyes, whispering words about me, thinking that I was a whore for my brothers...

Nothing could prepare me for what happened two weeks later...

I remember that day as if it was yesterday. I was sitting on the sidewalk in front of a sleazy hotel. I was writing in my journal at the same time sneaking glances at Dean as he was wiping down the impala. The way he smiles as he glazes down at his baby makes me happy but a tad jealous...but he assure me that I was his main baby.

I could hear the faint sound of water coming from the bathroom. Sam,was inside, washing his god build form in the shower.

Turning my head, I couldn't help but grin as I saw a narrow view of his ass. Even after all these years, Sam still had a nasty habit about leaving the shower curtain open.

"Hey," Dean replies getting my attention. I turn my head towards him trying to look innocent."What are you smirking at?" He asks.

At his question, I raised my eyebrows giving him a side smile.

"Nothing. just a thought I was thinking." I looked up at him and I could tell he wasn't buying it. That's the thing I love about Dean, he has the sense to know whether something was troubling me or Sam...and he would stop at nothing to find out.

"About? I curious," He replies in a singing tone making me laugh.

"It's personal. My thoughts only," I winked. Finally he give up the debate and returns to his duty wiping down his impala.

Later that night, we decided to pay a visit at local bar. That day was the worst night of my life.

To be from what seemed, the only sibling with two very handsome attractive brothers was a bitch!

From the second we walk in, there were woman, whether their were in a relationship,married, or even betrayal their same-sex partner, had cornered us.

One was a blonde, who I can tell had the personality of stupid trying to seduce Dean with her luscious but totally fake breasts. While a brunette who was staring Sam down and was the bartender of the bar didn't give a damn if she had other people waiting to be served. It disgust me how women could be so depraved for a man.

I wanted to get out of there. The room felt as through it was trying to suffocate me. It hurt my heart to see I was the only one left out. To keep myself from bursting into tears, I did just that but my attempt to leave was cut short by a hand on by wrists.

Turning my head, I came face to face to a man who was pure hillbilly. He had messy hair,oily jumper and I remember that when I was at the bar, I would turn my head and he would smile at me.

"Where do you think you're going, darling?" The man asked. I can tell that he was drunk and had the slightest clue as what he was doing.

"Going home," I replied. "And I appreciated if you remove your hand from my wrist." I tried to Jerk him away but it was a useless attempt.

"I don't think so darling, You're looking very pretty there's no need for an angel face like you to scurry away..."He tried to pull me along, but I stood my ground. Then he does the unthinkable, He roughly pulls me against him loosing his balance completely falling on one of the now broken tables.

Everyone turned their heads Including Sam and Dean who immediately lest from their social gathering to my aid.

"Hey Asshole!"Dean replies as he and Sam walked over to the scene. "What are you doing with my sister?!" He began to throw insults at the poor man, while ignoring Sam's attempt to help me up, I stood up on my feet.

"I'm fine," I replied. "The fat ass broke my fall."

"Fat ass?" The man shouted. "Who are you calling a fat ass you bitch!"

"Hey!" Dean shouted. reaching down to jerk the man up by his collar. "Don't fucking talk to my sister like that!"

"What happened?" Sam asked, taking my hand and I jerked it away.

"Oh! Like you care! he was trying to rape me!" I shouted. "Forget it! I'm getting the fuck out of here!" The last thing I remember was Dean calling that fat bastard "a Son of a Bitch" before throwing punches and Sam trying to calm him down.

At the Hotel, I stood fully nude in the shoulder letting the warm water abuse my body. I was just so relieved that I got out of there.

So what I acted like a ass. So what if I act like a jealous girlfriend. I'm not going to be held responsive. I could hear the door to the hotel room opening following the distant voices between the two.

Dean was shouted some sentence that were inseparable and Sam was speaking in a mild tone. I covered my ears, to try to block out the conversation, along with the pounding of the door, but it a useless. Finally, I finished my shower, wrapped myself in a towel, and took a deep breath. I made my way out of the bathroom with my head down before glazing at the faces of my older brothers.

Sam, who now has a sad look on his face. His green eyes sparking with concern. Whilst Dean has a pissed off expression, trying his best to remain calm. There were no words that were unable to fall out of mouth. I just walked passed them and climb into to very large king side bed we shared with saying a unexpectedly surprising, I suddenly began to cry my ear out.

Almost immediately, Sam and Dean's expressions changed. If they were confused, I could say the same thing. The reason why I was crying, I couldn't understand. I was always the second tough one when it comes from intense situations, I guess with everything that we had been through together finally had took a toll on me. I see with my watery eyes Sam turned towards Dean and he nodded his head. without hesitation, they began to walk towards me.

Dean lay on my left, Sam lay on my right. They huddled up against me trying to console me. Sam was wiping away from my tears, while Dean began to rub small circles down my back.

This warm fuzzy feeling began to grow inside me. I gaze into Sam's eyes and I can see the easiness and calm in his face. Then I did the unthinkable. I reached my hand and caress his cheek and I leaned in a kiss him passionately on the lips.

There was no feeling I can't describe other than, I felt as through I explode into a million pieces. What was more shocking is that Sam didn't pull away. He gave in and began to response with my advances. Dean was anxious to show his passion. I could feel his lips on my neck, his hands trailed down to my breast giving them a firm squeeze.

I moaned in response breaking my lips with Sam replacing them with his. I tried to show my love for the both of them. Wanting to give them all of me...

Everything happen in a flash. the removing of clothes. The hot soft lips on my heated skin. The feeling of being completely filled. Like flipping a page in a book. Like riding the biggest wave and suddenly ,you're caught in the tide.I felt so much pleasure.

It felt like Heaven. It was heaven...

That was last night...

And here we are...

Today is a new day. I stare at the ceiling with a smile on my face as I felt warm naked bodies sleeping silently against me...

Nude Dean on my left...

Nude Sam on my right.

Right now, I can't say that God is pleased. Not with the events that had happened. Now, When I said I love my brothers...I love them more than just a sibling nature. I love them, I'm madly in love with them! When I think of their eyes and their smiling faces, it makes my body want to explode in fireworks.I don't care what people would say. I don't care if our father would turn over in his grave, I feel like I'm the luckiest girl in the world! it always will be the three of us forever...

Sam and Dean,

My brothers, the lovers.

The End.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam and dean #wincest #winchester brothers #winchester sister #samwinterchester #sam x dean x reader smut #dean x reader #sam x reader #supernatural+smut #spn smut

[lovecanbesostrange]

Let me type some things up quickly on my phone about Netflix' Cowboy Bebop (lots of typos and half-thoughts incoming)

Overall I enjoyed it. It's a different version of things that never lets you forget its roots. Which is good and bad. They kept a sense of anime, a cartoonish feel, opting for style and looks (and dutch camera angles) over realism. So it never feels like a standard tv show. There is something artificial about it and if you've seen the anime you recognize so many shots (and sometimes you wonder why they didn't go for a 1:1). It's a choice and after a while that sucked me in - nice. It will turn lots of people away for sure.

Now I honestly never cared too much about Vicious and the Syndicate. It's important to understand Spike, good tragic backstory and all. I get why it's use as the red thread in the background, the overarcing plot, but personally I don't give a shit. I'd rather spent more time with Jet, Spike and Faye bowling or arguing about dinner. That's what I'm here for.

But I get it, my desire for x-of-the-week plots and the least amount of a continous narrative is not comparible with today's tv. *sigh* Well, at least it's different. Even though Vicious is now weirdly the most cartoony character, sticking out (well, s2 will change that with Ed... ... ... you know what, gonna ignore the last minute for now, as much as I laugh anime Ed I felt that hyperactive energy could easily break a live action adaption and... ... ... huh... let me skip that hornet's nest now...)

I don't know how to feel about Vicious not being the hyped pretty villain who shits ice cubes. He's like a parody Bond villain now?? It's kinda funny. But also Julia... holy fuck, she has agency. So much. And I hate to admit that it makes sense here. Her resentment towards Spike? Years with Vicious as a trophy wife, denied any freedom, wanting out, but plotting so hard she takes over? Wow.

I'm sorry for everybody who loved her character, because they will feel betrayed. She was so important as the unobtainable tragic romance for maximum angst. Now she is a pissed off... guess crime boss now. Her grab for power and control.

Funny enough I never liked the Spike/Faye pairing as a ship. In the anime it felt like if Spike ever fell for somebody else it would diminish Julia's existence (and with little to no agency there wasn't much else to her). But if Julia now divorces Vicious for being a coward and her captor, while also saying no to Spike since he never tried to rescue/free her... it's funny I just saw someone complaining that Spike/Faye is dead in the live action, because of their sibling vibes, but to me I can see this Spike move past Julia for the first time at all.

Faye. My beloved. I was sad we didn't get to see her leveling something with aachine gun as an intro. But hey, she showed up at the church in spectacular fashion. I would've given some more screentime to her trust issues and feeling insecure, ro dive into what it means not having a past. I also think the femme fatale trope she embodies should be used in the future. But having her as a competent bounty hunter (who did use her feminity like with the tango) is up my alley. Even though you have to wonder how she got those skills in the two years since waking up. The natural con artist moments with now "Mom" Whitney were great.

I do like that it didn't take long to get on Jet's and Spike's good side. If she had been in eps2+3 in at least one scene as a little annoyance, they could have captured a slower progress. This way, how she turns around to save them and gets a cabin and also a bonding moment with Spike... I enjoyed that. Spike, Jet and Faye genuinely like each other quicker and see above, them bowling was one of my fav moments. That and the lufa on a stick. XD

Out of the three Faye is the most different. And not just because of the random hook-up with the mechanic. I wonder how it feels like to first time viewers with no anime knowledge. In the simulation we got a good shot of a memorial for the gate explosion and we did see the destroyed moon. But the characters know and son't comment on it. There is a reference to the evacuation and rich people taking dogs over humans. The worldbuilding left a big gap. And I wonder how Faye's backstory will play out from here.

I like Jet, keeper of the braincell nobody listens to. His fatherly ambitions shine through and I was really glad he made it to the recital (in hilarious fashion with Spike fighting in the background, thanks for making me laugh).

Ein is a good dog. :3

Oh, right, Ana. A+

I felt like John Cho had the time of his life with this and well, good for him. A lot with the acting falls into this style of creating memorable, heightened shots over natural conversations. So... *shrug emoji*

Friday evening I wasn't that in the mood, watched the first two eps. Saturday I wanted to do something else, but started ep3 and then didn't go back to the plan and rather watched. It was entertaining! Not my ideal live action version, but I also don't hate it. There are pros and cons and I take the sibling relationship anyday. But I have learned long ago to not hype my own expectations with adaptations, I'm super mellow in that regard and accept alternative takes.

#Cowboy Bebop 2021

[imasimpforstevengrant]

Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

#joker movie #the joker #joker film #joker 2019 #2019 joker #joker joaquin phoenix #joaquin phoenix #joaquin is so hot omg #dcedit #dc comics #he's so beautiful #arthur fleck imagine #arthur fleck #Arthur Fleck is I C O N I C #clown daddy #why do i like this clown so much? #i love this clown so much #hes baby #hes so pretty #omg hes so cute #protecc him plz #plz protecc #plz hug him #lol sorry #i had to #this movie gives me life #this man will be the death of me #i can't get enough of this dude #i can't get enough of this babe #arthur fleck x reader

[bandomgay]

My brain to yours pt.1 b.u

Tw: blood,gore,self harm,violence,hallucinations,slight mention of an ed

Au: hey babes this is gonna be my 5th time trying to post this and i want death so bad...however if there is any confusing things or typos or things seem to quickly paced im sorry thats just my brain babey! Enjoy...i guess

Word count: 1,894

It all started when he was about 6 years old, he never spoke ever,not that he couldn't he just wouldn't, his parents were worried about his development,however nothing was ‘wrong', he had a quite developed thinking process for a child, but it wasn't a good one for his age nor was it a normal one,no child should be so terrified of talking to people and being thought lesser of as his voice shook violently while trying to say the easiest of sentences.

he understood people to early into his young life ,he got the memo that everything was too stupid and too hard to understand so he gave up . his mother took him back and forth to hospitals and child psychologists ,his mother scared for what was to come of him could this weirdness she didn't even have a name or diagnosis for develop into something more as he grew? She thought, would he be normal? Would he be like the other children who laughed and giggled at the littlest of things? Would he be happy like them? She had decided to push her concerns into the back of head deciding that maybe he was just awkward it's okay to not fit in hes a fucking 6 year old boy maybe it's not that deep.

he was now in the 3rd grade now and teachers became more and more loud and responsive with their problems, he thought maybe whatever bad stuff they had going on at home they just needed to vent threw aggressiveness and shaking hands and restless mornings,but however it was their screams he didn't care for, he looked them in the eye wondering what he had done wrong, however he didn't care enough to continually think about it, but he realized slowly that couldn't feel anything like the red faced teacher did, he’d envy the poor mannered teachers feelings if he could, just how they could get so angry and fed up with kids who were disgusting and vile and how he never felt that…... he never felt anything at all .Now he was in the 5th grade he had to repeat the 4th grade due to staggeringly low grades and his failed attempts at homework he never seemed to have remembered. Things were getting hard to remember, so hard to remember what the teacher had said in the classroom that seemed to fade away after he was picked up by his mom and the sheer silence of the drive home and his mothers sneaking looks into the mirror with furrowed eyebrows at her son who never told her how his day went.

In school it was just so easy just to drift off in the land of dark swirls and dark worlds filled with make believe that he couldn't separate from the real world that never seemed to go away and darkness he felt comfort in his head till he heard nothing but the disgusting laugh of a teacher who had looked as if she wanted to deck him in the face ( he imagined about 3 different scenarios of how that actually could have occured, he held back a giggle and a sly smirk) as she snapped her wrinkled hands in his face “earth to brendon” he heard the aged feminine voice laced with anger repeat twice but he had failed to tune into the first reminder he was too dissociated to notice, he came too but didn't understand her reasonings of not just leaving him alone and let him rot and break free and he soon heard the fits of laughter coming from children he knew he was too weak to stop.

he wanted to do terrible things to everyone in that very room including himself, a dark desire he couldn't contain from his mind but he never followed through with these type of thoughts. he could never seemed control them he thought of them like messages being sent from an unknown source in the back of his head that had an invisible connection to someone he could see but nobody else could he dared himself if he could just pull at the cord in his head he wouldn't have those those thoughts, the figure never showed up in the same form it could be the shadows of dirty rain water coming from outside showing like a projection on the dingy beat up wall rising above him to claim a mental dominance , or the rotten stain of mold on the bathroom floor that now seemed to have a charming glow yet secretive smile or the bag of dirty clothes that sat high up on its rounded edges now smiled at him and watched him threw the night .

now it was the 7th grade and things had went to shit,it was already shit but it had gotten no better, fits of depression had left him wanting to call a hitman on himself and letting himself be cut open so all the organs in his body to be shot out of him or rip his jaw and everything behind it out of his body but he was too fatigued to think about it anymore his brain seemed to have stopped working back in the 6th grade, he could never think clearly a heavy fog on his brain he could never do much for himself he found the most simple of things he couldn't do, he couldn't pay attention, he felt dizzy at random times becoming feverish and not thinking about why because he couldn't think he thought process lessen and lessened with every passing day until all there were was thoughts of gore and death,sadness and the never ending thought of killing anyone or anything that had managed to make him want death even more.

he just continued to fade in and out of reality staring into the wall for to long or unknowingly staring at the couple of people who he thought was calling him pathetic and worthless with the contradictory voice telling him he's so much better than the disgusting people he saw and that they didn't deserve to smile they don't deserve happiness even though they’d never even spoken a word to him, they were never mean to him. he started pinching,stabbing,pulling at his hair,clawing at himself hard trying to see if he could care that he'd just hurt himself he continued to hurt himself hoping somewhere in the back of his mind he start to feel things, to show him he's real everyone sees him, but his inner self knew what he was doing he wasn't just trying to see if he was a real person he was punishing himself because he couldn't do what the rest of the real kids could do he couldnt plop himeself in a hard metal chair and take a test without thinking about what a disgusting person he was, without hearing them say he wasn't shit that his brain is mush that he couldn't understand the easy directions how he could get so angry and mad without hesitation how he could imagine killing his parents im cold blood… he stomped on his own foot,why is he thinking about this why is he thinking about this why, they creeped back up on him showing him images of his brother and sisters dead and gutted his parents choking on blood and vomit pale and dying, he hated himself for thinking these things,but if it was possible for him to be completely honest with himself he didn't care if they had died or not he just didn't have the ability to care.

He couldn't look people in the face without seeing these images of grewling faces pushed together in piles of pink and red flesh crawling into each others organs which looked rotten and distorted, why was he seeing this things these disgusting things these things… he wouldn't admit to himself that everytime he looked in the mirror he tried not to vomit he tried to hard, he bashed in the mirror bloodlying his hand, his hiss echoing in the empty bathroom he couldn't go to the nurse he couldn't look her in the eye and see her like that, besides he was on the first floor and he was too weak to go all the way to the fourth floor he knew he would pass out, he felt something pooling in his stomach it was anxiety he felt the cramping in his stomach and the salivating in his dry mouth, he vomited into the sink, he hasn't eaten anything in about 3 weeks so the pain of dry heaving for almost half in hour into the sink made him dizzy and ultimately pass out. he had now awoken to bright lights that made him nauseous and whimper, he was in the hospital again. he tried so hard not look the nurses and doctors in the eye and seeing horrific images in his mind of them dead, rotten maggot filled and bloody be he regained his ability to see the normally after a while.

“Brendon honey…” his mommy's voice was there “mommy...hi mommy” he said in a broken whisper. She had realized he never calls her mommy unless something's wrong he wasn't aware that he was, he turned to the right finding an iv carefully placed into in scarily pale arm “honey...they found you in the bathroom your hand was cut up...you where passed out what...t?” she silenced herself for a moment seconds later starting up again. “They found you in the bathroom..the mirror was broken and your hand was cut pretty deep and passed out” he mouth trembled a bit, she moved his sweaty bangs out of his forehead, he felt wetness on his skin his own uniform shirt clinging to his skin he was sweating.

He didn't feel real he didn't respond properly to what she had said he only looked away.. And said “dizzy….everything hurts…” he was so surprised he felt something but if feeling was like this he didn't want it. “I d..don't wanna feel like this..can you make it stop mommy please?!” Nani was absolutely terrified she'd never been so scared for her little boy, “its gonna be okay,sweetie...i swear..to god i swear…” in this moment if she was honest she didn't believe there was a god, no god would do this to her son, she turned around after hearing the door and hard footsteps.

“Hello ms. Urie im dr. Yakima, i will be assisting and diagnosing your son” she nodded softly wanting her son to be okay. “Hey son,open your eyes for me,i'm here to help” brendon heard a much more distorted version of what the doctor had said than nani did, but then again he was fading in and out. He handed her pills and said firmly “these are anti-nausea and pain killers i'm gonna give these to him and he will feel much much better i promise..” He was right it with his cocked up eyebrow and charming smile that sparkled with calmness and reassurance that worked its way into nani. the medication  worked but not instantly. “Sit up honey..” She said softly, he followed what she said slowly with a wrecked groan and intense muscle pain however there was no rush.

#brendon urie #panic! at the disco #patd #*****mine #brendon urie imagine