#if you need to lie about what exactly your gender identity is to get the type of care you need too then fucking do it

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Apollo with thick eyebrows and freckles and body hair is my truth. He's a small tank also. Wide. He works out bc 1: he does not want to ever be called a twink and 2: it helps with stress and God knows he is STRESSED. Oh also he's trans. Also when his hair is un-gelled it looks almost exactly like trucy's, his lil bunny ears curl around his face all cute and he hates it which is why he gels it back so aggressively

#apollo justice #hes my ideal transition goals ngl #like the image of him in my head is like yes. yes this is what i want to be someday. #he has inspired me to finally talk to my dr about being trans and wanting to seek transition #im goig to be really really clear abouty dysphoria being one of the biggest sources of anxiety and depression for me #and it making me feel so bad i dont even want to leave the house sometimes bc i dont pass well usually #bc you never want to undersell your dysphoria to a doctor or therapist. if anything you should oversell it to ensure you can get care #like you dont have to say you want to die or anything bc thats always risky to tell any medical professional but like. #but always tell them it makes you hate yourself even if its not true #if you need to lie about what exactly your gender identity is to get the type of care you need too then fucking do it #doctors will not give a nonbinary person HRT 90% of the time sometimes u need to fib a little about your gender to get what u need!!!!

[strawberry-crocodile]

TMA? TME? What's that?

This is a question I get a lot on my posts talking about transfeminism; I intend to make this a masterpost with which to send people if they are genuinely curious.

What does TME/TMA mean?

TME- Transmisogyny Exempt

TMA- Transmisogyny Affected

More specifically, TMA is a catchall term for people whose experience being assigned male and transitioning to a feminine gender or presentation has made them the focus and primary target of transmisogyny. TME people are everyone else.

But isn't everyone affected by transmisogyny in some way?

In some way, yes. But TMA people are, by definition, the ones who are the primary target, and the ones who cannot escape it. A trangender man might be mistaken for a trans woman on the street and accosted, yes! However, his interactions with family, the legal system, other queer people, and any partners are going to be affected by transphobia, but not transmisogyny, because these people see him as outside the "MtF" category. This is the core of transmisogyny and why transmisogyny as a term exists separate from transphobia.

Why not use transfeminine/transmasculine?

Where I'm standing I'd like to be able to use those words with the rough understanding that they are related to one's relationship to assigned gender and transmisogyny, but there are people who do not feel that this adequately describes their identity (ie transfem people who were AFAB). I'm taking these people on good faith, but I still want to be able to discuss what TME/TMA is discussing.

Isn't this just reinventing the gender binary?

It's describing a preexisting one. The White/POC dichotomy is not "reinventing race science", it's describing how the society built on that lie affects people. Someone who uses the word "nonblack" probably knows that racial categories are artificial, but is still affected by anti-black racism, and deserves the language to talk about it. Understand TME/TMA the same way.

Also, to be clear, cisgender men are TME. It is not just restating your AGAB.

What about intersex AFAB people?

This is where I am going to bow my head and admit that I do not know, exactly. It's undeniable that there are similarities in the bodies of TMA people and a cis woman with PCOS, just for example, and that the hatred that such bodies attract are going to affect her. However, it's also true that having been assigned, raised, and legally defined as a "female" is going to provide a different set of problems. If someone wants to have a genuine discuss about this, my ask box and messages are open- however, if you are not yourself AFAB and intersex, I do not care your opinion on the matter.

If it has so many problems, why use it?

Every term used to discuss marginalization has problems. "White", for example, is a category that can include or exclude Ashkenazi jewish people depending on context and usage; the border between cis and trans is one that has edge cases. But these terms are important for describing oppression and helping marginalized people! It would be absurd to completely abolish them, wouldn't it? It's the same with TME/TMA.

I fundamentally disagree that this category of people you're talking about deserve or need a word to describe their oppression, or that they have a unique relationship to that oppression.

Well. You're wrong, so

#tme/tma #transmisogyny #tme ppl #dalucaray #tme/tma guide #tme/tma reference

[petrichor-idyllic]

Heyyy do you do reacts? Like "How the TMR boys would react to you calling them pretty" . If so, thank youuu :)

Oooo I never even thought about doing this, but I can absolutely give it a go :))

YOU THINK I'M PRETTY?

MASTERLIST | MULTI-CHARACTER MASTERLIST

SUMMARY: See above. Gender neutral reader.

WARNINGS: None really, maybe some inappropriate language and flirty behaviour.

"You know, you're actually kinda pretty."

THOMAS

Would not know how to react.

Thomas absolutely would be completely dumbfounded.

He'd been attracted to you ever since he'd arrived in the Glade, so you complimenting him would leave him in a stunned state.

Probably would also be the first and only time he gets complimented because the Gladers just call each other ugly on a daily basis.

"Oh, uh- thanks- thank you."

You probably wouldn't think much of it and go about your day.

He would spend the next four years thinking about it.

"They think I'm pretty."

Definitely a much needed confidence boost since he (especially in the books) is having a permanent identity crisis.

He might not know who he is, but damn, at least he's pretty.

NEWT

Newt isn't a stranger to compliments. He's one of the oldest standing Gladers and people often comment on his work ethic and ability to think fast.

His appearance though?

That's new.

He'd probably freeze, laughing it off as you just kinda randomly say it whilst he's working with the Track-hoes.

"Heh, what?"

In all honesty, you'd have been watching him for a while, admiring his features and when you say it, it would have been a thought you didn't mean to say out loud more than anything.

That wouldn't stop him from thinking about it. It would get brushed over fairly quickly since Newt is a busy dude, but he would definitely ask Minho and his friends about it.

"What do you think it means?

"Uh, that they think you're pretty? Duh."

Like Thomas, he would probably lie awake thinking about it, or just throughout his day, a soft smile playing on his lips, and he would definitely get caught laughing.

"Dude, you're thinking about it again?"

"Shut up, slinthead!"

"Touched a nerve, pretty boy?"

MINHO

Minho knows he's pretty. Everyone knows he's pretty. Just look at the guy. Even Thomas thinks he's pretty (*cough* the three paragraphs dedicated to describing Minho's arms in the book *cough*).

He'd probably laugh.

Sure, it's common knowledge that he's a good looking guy, but for someone to say it to him?

That'd be entertaining.

He'd tease you about it, making you the one that becomes a blushing mess.

"Hey, so how pretty do you think I am, exactly?"

He would not let it go.

But he wouldn't brag to the other Gladers about it. He would keep the information to himself, mainly keeping up the light bullying in private and leaving other Gladers confused as to why you tended to leave his presence bright red.

Secretly, he'd be thrilled. Of course, just that you think he's attractive to begin with, but also because it clearly runs deeper at your constant embarrassment.

He probably also wouldn't know how else to flirt with you. But he's trying his best. Compliments don't come as easy to him as they do you, so this is how he expresses it.

Definitely an ego boost.

GALLY

He would be insulted.

Gally wouldn't take it as a compliment at first. He wants to be a tough guy and you calling him pretty feels like a insult to his masculinity.

Definitely not the intention.

You think he's soft? Pretty? How dare you. How could you?

It wouldn't be until he spoke to Frypan that he'd realise.

"They called me pretty. Pretty! Do I look like a shuckin' sissy?"

"Dude, I'm pretty sure it was a compliment- they think you're hot."

"Oh."

That's when he'd be flustered.

In private, of course, but flustered nonetheless.

He'd feel like such a dick for reacting how he did and without even processing it properly.

He'd end up apologising and you'd laugh about it.

"It's okay, I won't call you pretty again. Promise."

But now he knows you think he's attractive, he'd definitely be bummed that you said you wouldn't compliment him like that again.

"I mean- you can still... yanno- say that."

Turns out Gally actually kinda is a softie when he wants to be.

You find it cute.

FRYPAN

He would be ecstatic.

Oh my God, you think he's pretty? His life is complete. The world is good. Kill him now, this is the best day of his life.

He'd tell everyone who would listen.

"Yeah! They called me pretty! Suck it! I'm prettier than you slintheads!"

"Fry, I really don't care."

He'd constantly ask you to call him pretty again. Or even other compliments and you'd find it funny.

He'd be surprising hard to fluster, but very easy to please.

It wouldn't be uncommon to find him grinning from ear to ear after talking to you.

He would also have the courage to return the compliments, creating a friendship that's basically filled with constant praise.

He would worship the ground you walk on.

Thinks he's in love every time you make eye contact.

ALBY

"Yeah, okay."

Alby would not give a shit.

The man is stressed 24/7.

You can't really blame him. He's in charge of a bunch of teenage boys in a Maze full of monsters, and he has to make sure that everyone is comfortable and surviving.

He has too much on his plate to even realise what you'd be saying at first.

The brain lag is real, and it would be three days later when he'd understand what you said.

"Wait a shuckin' second..."

After that, he'd think about it a lot, internally kicking himself and regretting the choice.

You wouldn't be shocked. This is exactly the kind of response you'd expect from the Leader. But you almost said it because you knew what his response would be.

You wouldn't have to worry about Alby being weird or acting different or telling anyone.

Though, he would become a lot friendlier towards you, starting to develop a sweet spot for you.

Would ya look at that, I can actually write for characters other than Minho? Who woulda guessed? In all seriousness, this was really fun and I enjoy writing headcanons as much as I like writing stories. I really enjoy these typa requests, tysm for sending it in.

Hope you all enjoy :))

#🌿 petri writes tmr #🌿 petri writes #🍃 petri tmr #newt the maze runner #minho the maze runner #the maze runner #minho tmr #tmr fanfiction #tmr thomas #tmr imagines #tmr minho #tmr x reader #thomas the maze runner #gally imagine #gally tmr

[khaire-traveler]

Deities to help with gender dysphoria?

Hey there! I'm currently on an Internet break, but seeing as how I recently reblogged something related to being trans (particularly about hateful blogs that are vile in every conceivable way), I figured I'd answer this ask now rather than later to hopefully help others out as well.

In truth, I feel that you should be able to feel comfortable turning to any of the gods you worship for these things, but that's mostly because I strongly value comfort and safety within spirituality. The gods that I have personal experience with, however, and that I've heard are the most helpful with these issues would be as follows (I'll make a list):

***PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS IS MOSTLY UPG AND MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCES WITH THESE GODS***

----

Hellenic Pantheon

• Dionysus - one of his epithets is literally Androgynos (androgynous) to comment on how he breaks the gender binary and defies expectations (as well as to emphasize that he is very beautiful, but that's more of a historical/cultural thing for the ancient Greeks); he has been one of the most helpful deities when it comes to my transition, and I've always felt extremely comfortable opening up to him about my personal problems and feelings that I wouldn't tell anyone else; he will always listen to you, and there is an air of understanding that I don't always feel with other gods; he really helps you feel at-home in your own skin and will encourage you to dress and act in ways that make you feel happy, comfortable, and safe; something that I seriously love about him is that you will always feel loved when you confide him, and he will go out of his way to remind you that Dionysus stands for the outcasts, for those who people look down on for defying the strict "rules of society"; he will always support you in your endeavor to be and embrace yourself and be right be your side, no matter who stands against you

• Athena - they don't have any epithets relating to this, but based on personal experience, Athena has always been extremely encouraging and supportive throughout my transition; they instill confidence in oneself and are great at helping you feel secure in your transition (like, getting rid of self-doubt regarding gender identity and such, but they're also great at helping you discover what feels right to you if you're unsure); they are also great at helping you identify what triggers your dysphoria and any behaviors/thoughts that you have that may contribute to the feeling; if you struggle with how others view you, Athena is great at encouraging you to focus more on how you perceive yourself and learning how to not take the words of others to heart

• Hermes - I cannot stress enough how extremely supportive and compassionate he has always been; I've heard from many other trans worshippers as well that Hermes is extremely good to interact with when they're having a moment of dysphoria or doubt; he will reassure you, and every single time, I swear he knows exactly what to say to make you feel better, especially if you're having negative thoughts about yourself; he is seriously the best hype man out there as well, if you're ever in need of someone who will boost you up; he will always encourage you to trust your own judgement and will insist that only you know what's truly best for yourself

• Apollo - He tends to be very effeminate in the way that he presents himself, even in ancient Greek culture, and for a lot of people, they find comfort in this; he is extremely supportive during transitions, and I've heard from many worshippers that he will challenge a lot of your negative beliefs about yourself directly; he is the type of god I would suggest if you're looking to work through these dysphoric feelings and, hopefully, get rid of them ultimately; the hard work of that can be extremely intense, I will not lie, and I honestly recommend seeking professional support alongside the support that Apollo can provide you with to ensure that you have all the help you need throughout this process; aside from that, Apollo is a wonderful guide throughout the often scary process that is finding and learning to love yourself; he will never leave you high and dry, and will support you for as long as you desire his support

• Artemis - As a literal goddess of transition, Artemis is fantastic for navigating through the various trials and changes of being trans, whether that be physically or emotionally; similar to Apollo, she defies gender expectations by often presenting herself in a very masculine way which can be a comfort to many people; despite what I often see online Artemis can actually be extremely soothing and comforting, providing you reassurance when you need it the most; she is fantastic for grounding yourself and finding inner stability; I find her to be very passionate and determined, but if you need a calm energy, she's very good at adjusting to whatever you need in the moment; she will encourage you to be yourself without shame as well as help you not care what others think/how others perceive you

• Aphrodite - being the goddess of love, she is AMAZING if self-love is something you specifically struggle with; in ancient Greece, there have also been depictions of her with a penis, so many worshippers believe her to be trans herself; she has been a massive assist for me in learning to love and embrace myself and my gender identity, and something she's been especially helpful with is accepting my physical body the way that it is, to a certain extent; she is extremely gentle, compassionate, and encouraging, and her inviting energy makes it easy to open up to her about how you're feeling; if you tell her you have a problem you'd like to work on, she gets on it immediately, and I personally noticed her presence a lot more in my life even just days after requesting her help

Norse Pantheon

• Loki - This may be a somewhat obvious entry, but Loki is insanely helpful when it comes to anything related to gender identity and self-acceptance; being a shapeshifter, Loki is not bound by the constraints of gender and has even been shown to have a lot of gender fuckery within mythos; Loki helped me come to realize that I identify as non-binary masc rather than fully male; Loki also helped me embrace the more uncommon factors of my gender, as I personally like to go by fae/faer when I can; I haven't gone to Loki much for my dysphoria, but based on what I've heard many worshippers say over and over again, they are a miracle-worker when it comes to anything gender-related

• Freyja - I don't personally have much experience with her, but seeing what worshippers of her say, I felt she was important to mention; similarly to Aphrodite, she has a domain in love and that includes self-love; she is amazing at embracing yourself for everything you are, and I've been told she's especially good at help with physical dysphoria; she seems to be very kind and loving but definitely has a fiery passion to her that cannot be mistaken; if that energy might be too intense for you, I'd imagine it's not an issue to ask her to come across with a gentler energy

• Freyr - From what I've been told, he has a very fatherly and gentle presence which can provide great support throughout your transition; he is wonderful at grounding and replenishing energy; when you need someone to reassure you that everything will be ok, Freyr is a wonderful god to go to; he will make you feel accepted and loved exactly the way you are which is how you deserve to feel

• Odin - I don't personally worship Odin, but I've been told he's a great ally to have when exploring gender; similarly to Loki, he is a shapeshifter; he is very supportive of transfolk, and I've heard that worshipper find a lot of solace in him during difficult times; he is a great advisor as well, and if you are willing, he can help you work on understanding your triggers and learning to cope with them; he's definitely really good with the self-reflection aspect of coping with dysphoria

• Thor - Again, I don't personally worship Thor, but I've been told he's fantastic at he's really helpful with self-confidence and self-assurance; he's great at providing you with stability as well and can be a rock-solid support during the most difficult times; if you're looking for a deity who will ground and support you, I would highly recommend Thor

----

Since I don't worship many Norse deities, most of my information was from @broomsick who is a very knowledgeable and experienced Norse pagan! I recommend checking out their content, if Norse paganism interests you. I wanted to include the Norse pantheon, though, to leave the option open.

To my followers, please feel welcome to add your own experiences and thoughts/opinions! 🧡

----

I hope this answered your question and gave you some good options! Best of luck to you as you embark on your journey. ☺️

#trans pagan #helpol #hellenic polytheism #hellenic pagan #norse paganism #norse pagan #paganblr #asks #answered asks

[sgiandubh]

You really have an interesting blog and I really enjoy the cultural tidbits you weave in. I have to say though that the constant focus on Mordor is a bit much. I get that certain topics require to reference them, but it feels at times that you are just a Mordor monitoring/call-out blog. Maybe that's your goal and I just had different expectations, then I apologize for "criticizing" your content. Maybe it just feels so overwhelming to me, because we used to mostly ignore the other side. Anyway, I hope you don't hold a grudge for this feedback. I will keep an eye out for your cultural remarks.

Dear Culture Anon,

Telling me you read this blog for the 'cultural tidbits' is like me telling you I am watching OL for the Scottish landscapes: a sweet, silly lie.

I shall be, as always, brutally honest with you. My prerogative, since this is my page and everything that happens here does so on my own terms, and nobody else's.

This is your opinion, Anon and I have to respect it, which does not mean I have to abide to it. You are not the first one 'gently suggesting'. Others, including in this shipper community, have been way more virulent, publicly and privately questioning my identity, my gender, my nationality, my integrity, my career. From 'not new', to 'PR plant', to 'fraud', to ' where do you live, this is not enough to be clean' (in comments) to 'I know people ', to 'toxic content', to 'lunatic', to 'nutcase', to 'idiot', to 'impostor', to 'liar', to 'bitch', to 'manipulator', to '[insert name/handle of past/present shipper luminary here]'... I have heard just about it ALL.

Did I feel insulted? Yes. Did I feel disgusted? Yes. Did I feel overwhelmed and sick with it all? Yes. But you know what, Subtle Anon?

I NEVER FELT AFRAID.

Because I never lied to anybody about anything. Because you cannot force me, bind me, pay me, buy me. When I was wrong, I immediately corrected. I tried to remain polite and civilized to anyone in this shipper community, even when people ended up by lying about me in public. I shall still be polite and civilized to these same people: my morality, my profession and my beliefs prompt me to do so. But I am not deaf, nor dumb and certainly not a saint: judge you, I will. In my own privacy. You do exactly the same as far as I am concerned, for sure. So, we're even.

When I started to blog in here, my first feeling was this was an intimidated community. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe you do not need anyone to tell you that you are read and loved and respected. Maybe you're fine with being constantly called out and insulted and seeing your beliefs ridiculed by bullies without a face. But you know what? I am not even sorry to try and change the state of play, as long as I am speaking just in my own name and taking the whole brunt of asinine insults everyday on my own behalf only.

So I am afraid this blog is not rising up to your expectations, Anon. It is a written by a person (me) with very strong opinions, who simply refuses to turn the other cheek to bullies. And also by a person who sincerely thinks that her life experience can bring a bit of clarity in some difficult to grasp, complicated situations, where it is easier to manipulate for shits, giggles and clicks. Finally, by a person who simply loves to share her favorite music, favorite paintings, favorite places on Earth with people who became quick friends - the 'cultural tidbits' you are looking for, Anon.

So, if this is too much for you, Anon, by all means, do not read me anymore. I am sure you will find other blogs in here, where you will feel more comfortable. This is, after all, a formidably intelligent and compassionate community and this, Anon, is my jam.

I will understand you, Anon and I also think I will survive this loss.

Let's say farewell with one of my favorite Baroque motets, Anon. Nulla in mundo pax sincera means that we should not expect any honest peace in this troubled world, of which this fandom is but a pale reflection. As much as I discount Vivaldi, thanks to his abuse by all the elevator companies of this world, this is one of his finest:

#Anon #fandom

[hoshibait]

i'd love to hear those drake headcanons of yours :^)!

alright anon i warned you

quick warning for obsessive love and idk bro toxic angst i guess

also another warning i’m projecting a lot, specifically onto drew.

i’m a strong believer of drew being one of those gay people that just really represses their sexuality to the point of just not realizing for a while. he eventually figures out his gender but he doesn’t really talk about it much and cringes when he thinks about it too much. he’s a transfem agender, no big deal.

i know a lot of people hc drew as hispanic and that makes me very happy. you wanna know why i made him peruvian though, i’ll tell you why, i’m projecting, suck it nerd.

drew began being friends with jake during freshman year, in my head i feel like part of it was out of pity, drew didn’t think too much of jake at the time, just a new cool guy to hang out with.

idk how canon this is but in my interpretation the two of them the two of them got close to the point of being best friends, the two of them just jived together so well, he felt so understood, jake was an amazing guy, he was so fun to hang out with. it felt like things were perfect. however we know it wasn’t always great for the opposite party.

i’m a firm believer of neurodivergent jake, i don’t know what he has exactly but he’s def peculiar LMAO.

because of this, he’s always struggled socially and generally just being able to be his true self, of course he has a passion for singing and music and i wouldn’t be surprised if his neurodivergence impacted that at all.

think about it though, you’ve been bullied and outcasted your whole life, and all of the sudden a group of cool dudes want to take you in just because you seem cool to them?

jake finally felt a sense of belonging, right?

except those people were also judgmental to an extent, they put other people down, they put down your passion indirectly. you don’t want to lose them, because they seem to care for you, so you hide and lie, you mask.

i wouldn’t put it past jake to have some identity issues with how much he lies even to himself. ngl the more i write this the more i realize i said all the important things in my little chart. oh yeah my drew bpd hc this is def just me projecting btw, also i called it developing/undiagnosed in the chart since it's very rare for people his age to get diagnosed with it, plus he def goes around untreated. i guess the best way i can describe the two of them in my hc is this weird complicated love-hate thing. they're definitely not healthy, not at this rate, but it's like there's this slight chance, this sliver of hope that maybe things can work. i don't think that would happen though. i still need to think of how jake would even turn down drew, but i just know he'd be, more torn, lmao. you guys think a little bit of tyler the creator could've saved drew //slap

#💌 #the music freaks #hyperfixation #jake sterling #tmf jake #tmf drew #tmf drake #again do you guys realize how funny this ship name is

[aberrant-angel]

i have an ai ask for you ^.^

I am Muhammad, the first Saudi robot in the form of a man. I was manufactured and developed here in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as a national project to demonstrate our achievements in the field of artificial intelligence.

this is the self description of saudi arabia's first ai controlled autonomous robot... unfortunately one of their achievements in artificial intelligence was teaching their ai robot to sexually harass women, which it did almost immediately by rubbing the ass of the woman who was reporting on it being revealed.

what's your take on the debate between people who are saying this was hot vs the ai has finally gone too far crowd? or your thoughts in general really <3

djhfg this is certainly one of the asks of all time,, i hadn't heard about this before

i wish there was more information on like what sort of datasets they were training the AI on and such. like, did they intentionally train him to do that? the emphasis on it being the first "male" robot may have been the issue if they tried to train it specifically to be a man. (quick aside here but i have to state the obvious that artificial intelligence can't really have a gender identity in a meaningful sense.) unfortunately AI simply reflects the data from humanity it's trained on, and that includes patriarchal norms. (that's also why it's a difficult fight to erase for example racist bias in AI image generation, because, well, the society the AI learns from is systemically racist... :s ) people who blame such things on the AI itself, as if it autonomously decides which data to learn from, are being kind of silly. Muhammad the robot isn't any more inherently creepy than the average human dude at a bar who gets a little too touchy feely.

there is of course also the possibility that the robot wasn't even motivated by anything sexual and was just reaching out to interact with its environment in a curious way (and it just so happened a reporter's butt was the nearest object.) it's hard to really ascribe intent to anything an AI does (at least as AI currently function) since it's mostly about mimicked behaviour with an element of randomness as far as i understand, and i don't think we can open it up to determine exactly which data fragments made it take any given action. same way an AI can't really lie to you, it can only generate information that may turn out to be false. when AI gets more advanced we might need to have discussions about what "intent" as it occurs in the human brain actually entails though, and how that differentiaties itself from random impulses based on external input, (similar to the Chinese room debate.) (yet another obligatory aside, not a fan of the name of that thought experiment since "Chinese" is not a language, but the point it makes is still worth discussing despite any orientalist implications from its creator.)

all that being said if it was a girl robot inappropriately touching someone then i think that would be extremely hot and i'd defend her with my life

#asks

[quickhacked]

🎮 🖊️ 🎶 🌈 for isaac, 🍎 🔺 🤍 😥 for heavenly for the oc details asks!! <3

oc asks!

🍎 RED APPLE — where was your oc born? do they still live in/around their place of birth or do they live somewhere else? how do they feel about their birthplace?

answered here!

🔺 RED TRIANGLE POINTED UP — does your oc know how to use any weapons?

heavenly knows how to use a lot of weapons yeah! mostly uses a crossbow which shoots essentially small wooden stakes with a silver core, it's his favorite weapon of all time :] he doesn't use guns a lot because they're mostly ineffective against vampires but he's got some modified guns that shoot handcrafted bullets or gauges which CAN hurt and slow down vamps

other than that he's also very good with melee weapons. he's very good with blades, mostly knives :^) he loves his throwing knives so much

🤍 WHITE HEART — what are three of your oc's neutral/questionable traits?

heavenly can be very blunt, a bit passive, and overall incredibly stubborn. it's nice to always know exactly how he's feeling when you ask him and him being very direct makes it easier to communicate with him, but it can also make him a bit rude from time to time. his passiveness is mostly due to him wanting to see all sides of a situation to fully understand it, but sometimes he waits just a bit too long. his stubbornness means he can be incredibly selfless and brave, but also incredibly stupid at the same time. duality of man

😥 SAD BUT RELIEVED FACE — is your oc prone to getting stressed out, or is it easy for them to keep their cool?

heavenly can usually stay calm under pressure, but it took him very long to get to that point. his breaking point is still easily reached but he can stay calm for as long as needed and then die about the whole thing later when he's in private and can actually afford to lie face down on the floor for several hours

🎮 VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER — what are three of your oc's favorite hobbies?

isaac loves reading a lot!! he's been alone for a large chunk of his life so reading books is a very good way for him to pass the time. he's read SO many of them over the years. he also likes to write :^) mostly writes articles for random websites or short stories and stuff like that. lastly i feel like he would also like video games. he might be old and also a century old vampire but that means he's had enough time to discover the joys of a nintendo ds lite with mysims on it

🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

isaac has one tattoo currently, which i don't know the design for yet but it would be related to his bloodline! it's a tattoo they gave him after he grew out of his youngblood phase and it's to signal to other vampires which bloodline he belongs to. it's on the back of his neck :^)

later in the story he also ends up getting a second tattoo which is a little sun on his hip to match heavenly's crescent moon hip tattoo <3

🎶 MUSICAL NOTES — what type of music does your oc like? do they listen to music very often?

isaac can, much like heavenly, enjoy any kind of music i think! he's lived entirely too long to be a hater of things, he's found he's a lot happier trying to find the positive in everything around him and music would make him very happy :^) he would listen to non-english music a lot, as well as instrumental stuff

🌈 RAINBOW — what is your oc's sexual orientation/gender identity? what pronouns do they use?

isaac is a man and uses he/him pronouns! he's cis but in the cisn't way, he doesn't really care all too much about putting a label on himself for that and just goes with what's most convenient for others. same would go for his sexual orientation, he identifies as gay but whatever that means exactly is between him and god

#asks #ncytiri #ask:heavenly #ask:isaac #oc asks #THANK UUU MWAAAH i am so normal about them i swear #isaac has had enough time to think about his identity but at the same time he's had too much time to think about it #to the point he's circled back to not putting too much thought into it at all and just going with whatever works best for his brain #and other than that just going with the flow. see where the currents take him. it's not his business

[bananitryithegoatman]

This is horrible and i am really scared.

My family and i (four people) are planning to fly to Germany to try get an asylum there.

Russia is currently about to pass a law that would prohibit trans people medical transition, surgeries and change of documents with NO EXCEPTION. Recently they also passed a law that prohibited any "LGBT propaganda" amongst ANY PEOPLE, not just children now, what they describe as propaganda is vague but taken everything that would include even mentioning your sexuality or gender identity to anyone. They also are talking about opening "Center of studying LGBT's behavior" which is literally, and i'm quoting, would be directed on conversion therapy.

I'm already used to get harassed getting outside, every time, people point at me, laugh, call me names, verbally assault me, once a person tried to fight me for "looking like a f*ggot", and even if i try to do something about it - i can't go to police because here they treat queers like shit. it's almost impossible to find an apartment to rent due to my passport's gender mark not looking like how i look right now, and even if i tried to find a side job besides being an artist i WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO because even tho legally no-one is allowed to deny me work based on my gender, practically - it's a lie, and it's more shameful to hire a trans person than to deny them. And i KNOW that every bad thing i face due to how supported transphobia in this country will multiply when they pass that law, and i don't know if that's just it, there's no guarantee that they won't, perhaps, say that everyone diagnosed F64 must go to their "LGBT behavior study clinic" :) I feel like my life, the lives of my family, is under a threat here. I am GENUINELY afraid to go out alone and i am afraid to leave them go out alone because i never know what's gonna happen to them, i feel like at any moment when i'm not hiding, when i'm just out for groceries there's always a chance for me to get harassed again or even get beaten. I see how people look at me and i see they wish me dead.

I'm certain there will be more laws like this and therefore it's not safe for any of us to stay. If i believed that maybe things get better - now i see they'll get worse.

In september we'll be heading to Germany to seek asylum, we'll try to get refugee status. Me, my partner, my friend and his partner. If we stay - we'll die, either by someone's hands or by ours and no one here would know cause this shithole country doesn't take a crap.

Fly tickets per person is $383 My income as an artist is only around $600, $1000 AT BESTa month. rent + bills is $250. $350 left is spent on food and necessities, i simple won't be able to afford the plane tickets for four people. We contacted all LGBT organisations in Russia that could help us get the tickets, but we're not the only ones who's trying to leave, so i don't know if they'll even respond.

We'll need to collect $1532 to get out of here. PLEASE if you can, help us get out of here, it's really not safe.

Even a dollar or a share of our situation would be of help.

#help #transphobia #transgender #lgbtq #lgbt #queer #need help #lgbt help #refugee

[pansyfemme]

oh man your tags on your previous post. I am also binary in a atypical way; both binaries for the price of one in my case (bigender) and while many consider themselves nonbinary along with that label, I… vehemently do not. ough the amount of. conversations I’ve needed to have with people about they/theming binary trans people and/or people who explicitly do not use they/them. I am not “nonbinary” or a “they/them” because I do not perform gender conformity well enough. gnc-ness or gender subversion in general is not a negation of gender identity. sending you luck out there

thank you, it's really nice to hear from someone feeling similarly. I've had a number of strange discussions about gender, and honestly i can't always tell you where i lie. the way i think of it, i'm male. 1000% male. but tbh. i cannot tell you my "male" and a cis guys "male" is the same. or that my "male" is the same as other trans guys I know. but yknow. while i doubt my gender belongs on the cisnormative idea of a gender binary- i think its probably not what people are expecting as a binary "male" gender- it's male to me, and so i identify as somewhere in the world between binary and not, if you really want to get deep about it. either way tho. if you ask me, im a guy, a binary guy. whether that binary is binary or not.

I'm never really sure why i started the whole gnc thing. To me, it's "crossdressing" but i don't use that word a lot bc it confuses people. I'm not always trying to look like a woman, but it is a bit of a performance for me, i do get a bit of a thrill out of being a spectacle, of being unidentifiable as a man or a woman. And as such, i don't really mind what strangers call me. I get a bit pissed when im fully in boy clothes with my facial hair out and get called a lady, but yknow. whatever. maybe they just thought i was a really cool butch, im fine with that. I'm proud of being a femme, of being a gay dude. I like when im seen as such, but i can't exactly pick and choose how people see me when im purposly blurring the lines. I used to wear my pronouns on my mask back at the beginning of the pandemic, when i first got back into wearing skirts, but that only worked abt 50% of the time. plus, women's bathrooms are cleaner, even if it does terrify me to go into either gendered toilet.

The issue though- arises is that publically, to those who know me, to my classmates, my professors, my friends- my gender isn't ambigious. I am very, extremly clear about my pronouns and my gender, i say it a lot, too much, honestly. But still, they/them is the most commonly used pronoun set for me, despite me being vocal that i use exclusivly he/him. It's not a secret, it is easily found, accesible information. if someone does ask me my pronouns, i don't mind even. at least then, i can make sure that they know them. but no matter what i do, i'm still referred to neutrally. It's not as bad as being called she/her, but it is a bit of a sting to the heart. I'm not a masc guy, i don't care if im "manly enough" to prove im a guy, i just have the simple hope that if i give people clear instructions on how to not make me feel like shit, they will follow them. I know people aren't trying to be malicious, people make assumptions about gender all the time. The fact that i 'pass as nonbinary' without even trying would be a lifetime achievment for other trans people i know. But the reality is, i'm not other trans people- i am just a dude with a 'typical' gender who does things in an 'atypical' way.

The one thing that has come of a lot of this, as my body became more masculine and my clothes more feminine, is that I have found a few people who didn't know my agab. They weren't surprised i'm trans, but i doubt they'd be either if i said i was a cis dude. It's just become that kind of way. I don't claim to pass as cis normally, im not trying to do that or particurally instrested in the ability to do so outside of casual situations and when it might be in my best intrest to try and do so. But the reality is, a lot of people see me, see my beard and my flat chest, my skirts and my longer hair, and they aren't able to catogorize me. And when i say im a boy, they are so confused about why a boy would be wearing what i do to even consider i might not actually have a dick. It's a funny thing.

i dont really know what to say. honestly its like. just up and down. i have no plans to stop presenting the way i do or calling myself the words i do, but i do think about it a lot. I do think about how people view me.

[gaymersrights]

Not gonna lie though i think the “investiture transes your gender automatically, so theres no need to worry about it” is like. actually horrifying in practice like.

Imagine you’re pissed at your body for changing without your approval. Puberty was bad, being forced into a version of yourself that you never wanted and theres nothing you could have done to stop it. But you’ve found ways around what your body has done to you, so that you can carve out a place for yourself among people who are like you.

Now imagine your body starts doing it again. Except its stronger this time, more overwhelming. You’ve put so much effort into working within — and against — the limitations of your body, its only natural that that body would be an essential part of your own identity.

You’ve figured out exactly what you can and can’t control about yourself. You need what little power you have over yourself, or else the thoughts about what you cant control will overwhelm you. And then your body starts changing without you.

You like the changes, its all conforming to an idealized image of you who want to be. But you don’t feel like you chose it. You don’t think you had any control over this happening. And while things might be better, maybe you start to resent how this all happened seemingly without your input.

Maybe you didn’t actually want the full change to happen. Was it the end state that mattered to you, or was it your own ability to take yourself to your goal on your own terms?

And what of your friends? The ones doubly left behind by your changes. Will they be happy at your changes, or will they be jealous of just how easy it was for you, while not getting any easier for them. You were already lucky enough to be blessed with investiture, and now its gone and changed the biggest thing you had in common with the people you chose to love.

Maybe the automatic changes of investiture are a curse just as much as they’re a gift.

#cosmere

[rosenallies]

would you want to write some genderfluid nali? maybe a hard day for them and rosie is the best partner of all time

I don’t think I’ve ever written anything in this little sub au before, I just use it to pretend I have someone in my life that gets my odd gender feelings, which aren’t the same as genderfluid Nali but like still I can pretend I can talk about it with someone without feeling weird or bad about it Um anyway yeah I’ve never written in this au before but I’ll try <3

Tw/for mild dysphoria

——

“How are you feeling today?”

The question came out of nowhere, Denali’s own thoughts too loud to register Rosé coming up behind them, wrapping his arms around their middle and kissing their shoulder.

It was a question Rosé asked them every morning, every morning since admitting to him they didn’t feel completely at peace with their gender identity. There were days where the answer was obvious and rolled off the tip of their tongue and there were days like today where they couldn’t put into words how they felt but somehow they knew everything felt wrong.

They shrugged, gently prying Rosé’s hands from their waist and turning to face him. “I don’t know how I feel,”they said quietly, letting him mull over their answer before speaking.

“How can I help, baby? Tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know, maybe help me get dressed? I’m not sure what to wear.”

To others, it might’ve seemed like a menial problem, especially for someone with a closet as expansive as Denali’s between their drag outfits, masculine presenting outfits, their feminine things, and everything in between. But to Denali, it was always so much more than clothes, it was a way to express how they felt day by day and the wrong outfit could mean a day full of discomfort.

Rosé hummed. “How about one of the new dresses I bought you? I think the blue one would look really nice on you and it’s comfy.”

“Okay,” they answered quietly.

He fished it from the closet and helped pull it over their head, fixing it so it sat perfectly on their body and turning them around so they could see in the mirror. Denali was so excited when Rosé brought that dress home, a soft blue cotton with spaghetti straps and a short skirt that they loved, but seeing it on brought tears to their eyes.

“What’s wrong, baby? Do you not like it? We can try another?”

Denali shook their head, turning back around to hide their face in Rosé’s chest. “It’s not the dress, I like the dress. It’s me. I wanna look pretty in it so bad.”

It was times like these Rosé wished he could pick Denali’s brain a little bit more, figure out what exactly it was they needed from him, but there was a part of him that understood they probably wished the same thing. They couldn’t put it into words, but they just knew something wasn’t right.

“You do look pretty in it, my pretty baby,” he soothed gently, wiping their tears away.

“C-can I just wear one of your hoodies? Please,” they croaked, trying to keep the tears in, “the really big pink one.”

Rosé sighed and kissed their forehead. “Of course, baby, do you want shorts too or just your underwear?”

“Leggings, please.”

Gathering what he needed, Rosé helped Denali dress, melancholic feelings swirling in his stomach as he helped Denali cover their body for no reason other than it felt wrong today. He wished there was a definitive answer on how to help Denali, but what felt wrong today might feel right for them tomorrow.

Once Denali was dressed, he led them to the living room, guiding them into his lap.

“Tell me what’s going on in your head,” he encouraged softly, bringing Denali’s gaze to his with a finger under their chin.

“I just want to feel feminine and be pretty but I’m just not. I hate my body and my features, all I wanna be is pretty,” they whispered through sniffles.

“Oh, darling, you are pretty. You’re pretty every single day, it breaks my heart that you don’t feel that way.”

“Don’t lie to me! I put on my pretty dresses and it just looks wrong on me! It’s so stupid, why can’t I just be normal?”

Rosé sighed sadly, brushing a strand of hair from their eyes. “Honey, do you think it’s time we talk to your doctor about a low dose of hormones or something? I’m not an expert on these things but lately you’ve seemed to be leaning more towards the femme side and I can tell it’s been hard for you.”

“I don’t want to change so much that you won’t find me attractive anymore, I know you like “men”,” they added with quotations.

“I like you, no, I love you. You would still be my baby no matter what. I just want you to feel comfortable.”

Denali shrugged. “Maybe I could mention it, I’m not sure about it though,” they admitted, “making permanent changes is scary.”

Rosé kissed their cheek, smiling softly. “You don’t have to be sure. Just know, whatever you decide to do, I’m here to support you through it. No matter what, okay?”

Nodding, Denali snaked their arms around Rosé’s neck and snuggled into his embrace. “Okay.”

#i don’t have a tag for this au </3 #um anyway #don’t @ me if this is terrible I’m depressed tofay <3 #prompt request

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Coming Out Masterlist

Accidental Coming Out - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) michael/luke, calum/ashton T, 3k

Summary: Michael and Luke are dating but no one outside of their band knows about their relationship, until one day Michael accidentally posts a video of him and Luke that definitely proves they're dating. It causes some issues, Michael is a bit of an idiot, but they work it out in the end.

am i broken (are you the saviour) (ao3) - jbhmalum T, 4k

Summary: He should do something. Maybe take a deep breath, in and out. Maybe turn on the bedside lamp. Maybe go lie down on the cold bathroom floor. Maybe bury himself under Calum’s covers and cuddle up to him; it probably wouldn’t even wake Calum, and Michael would get the comfort he needs.

Michael hears something he didn’t want to and has a hard time dealing with it.

Bedroom Activities (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) michael/calum T, 2k

Summary: Michael thinks that Calum’s bed is his favorite location in the entire house.

Or: Michael comes out to Calum.

Better Man (ao3) - no_clue_who luke/ashton n/r, 2k

Summary: It had been years since he thought about it, hell, Luke thought he had put the thoughts about his gender to bed a while ago. He was a man, he was still Luke, but something in the back of his mind kept thinking about. Was he a man?

What in his life made him just a man?

or gender isn't just two boxes

Bittersweet - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton T, 20k

Summary: It’s not growing older that scares Luke. It’s that everyone else will outgrow him before he catches up.

Bug's Life - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) michael/ashton T, 16k

Summary: or the one where Ashton is very confused about what being 'into' someone means and, also, there are ants in his dorm.

Chrysalis (ao3) - jbhmalum michael/calum T, 49k

Summary: When Michael breaks up with him without an explanation, Calum is left confused as he tries to pick up the pieces. He just doesn't realise they're not meant to be put back together the same way.

Fireworks (ao3) - KingDabriah michael/ashton G, 3k

Summary: It's almost 2011, and Michael is totally going to kiss Ashton at midnight. Probably.

Homecoming - @sup3rbloom​ (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) ot4 T, 4k

Summary: Luke is an up and coming famous singer with quite a big following already. He's just gotten home from his six month tour, and he's reunited with his three non-famous boyfriends. Luke decides to take a big leap and come out with his three boyfriends.

If I Knew From The Start, Would It Change A Thing? (ao3) - hideforalifetime luke/ashton T, 18k

Summary: Senior year of high school is supposed to be full of fun and drama. Then there's Luke, who's stuck in online school thanks to the pandemic. Between his sinking grades and self esteem, not to mention his parents constantly on his tail for his college choices, he's a mess. On top of all this, and just about everything else that comes with being a teenager, the last thing he needs is for an instagram hottie to turn his life around completely. Like, we're talking full 180. But then, that's exactly what happens

i wanna hold your hand while we’re growing up (ao3) - nothingliketherain (39_killer_queen) michael/calum T, 12k

Summary: 5 times Michael grabbed Calum’s hand over the years + 1 time Calum grabbed Michael’s

let it take you under, feel your worries disappear (ao3) - jbhmalum michael/calum T, 3k

Summary: Calum has been having some realizations about their gender identity. They come out to Michael.

Subject Line - @daydadahlias​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) calum/ashton E, 20k

Summary: Maybe the sunrise doesn’t matter much after all. Calum can watch the sunrise any day. How many days will he get Ashton like this? Shirtless, sporting bedhead in a hotel room, with just the two of them for a few lazy hours alone?

Soon enough, they’ll be back on the tour bus and Calum won’t be allowed to hold Ashton’s hand anymore.

this night's almost over (ao3) - loafers michael/luke E, 19k

Summary: london 2012, luke takes up residence in michael's bed. it gets complicated.

unmute (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) luke/ashton, michael/crystal M, 21k

Summary: In 2011, Luke Hemmings met Ashton Irwin for the first time. In 2020, he told the world they’re married. This is the story of everything that happened in between.

You Matter to Me (ao3) - no_clue_who luke/ashton n/r, 3k

Summary: "God you two act like an old married couple."

"It's because we are?"

Or how not to come out to your friends.

#5sosfanfictioncatalogue #angst #fluff #comingout #comingout masterlist #masterlists

[lucindarobinsonvevo]

i think you described it perfectly actually because you're expecting it based on how leo/paul are actually written, how their relationship is written and the way their behaviour towards each other is portrayed but at the same time, you don't actually expect to SEE it or for the show to be so in your face about it and you especially don't expect them to do this with paul and one of his sons. father & son is just not the usual direction that media goes in with these types of relationships and yet it's exactly what neighbours have done.

it's funny, because this absolutely is not the first time neighbours has done emotional incest with paul, i mean, elle is literally right there. but the difference is that the emotional incest with elle was always a suggestion and implication. eyebrow raising, certainly, but she was never a true daughter-wife, just an aspiring one. It doesn't help that there is also the couching of elle's relationship with paul in the language of being a 'daddy's girl' therefore, a level of unhealthy emotional attachment is acceptable.

Comparatively, there is NOTHING implied about paul and leo. Everything is being said with clarity. From the opening of them walking hand in hand with Abi, to Paul's betrayed spouse routine, to Leo essentially saying he 'cant leave cause of the kids' to him chasing paul into a burning building it's like they put a big neon sign on leo's head that says 'man. this is kinda weird, huh?'

I also want to comment that I think Leo is absolutely more daughterwife than he is sonsband. Just because, I think a sonsband is way more about providing for a parent (mother in particular) as well as shouldering their emotional burdens and a daughterwife is more based in the home which seems to be where most of leo's problems lie -- if that even makes sense. Which plays way more into how conceptually, leo is coded to be an eldest daughter. Neighbours has pretty well resisted the urge to play into Paul's bisexuality since Dylan Timmins left the show, and I don't want to imply Paul has any actual incestuous feelings for Leo in that sense but like. That's interesting right? the character with the relationship to paul most like dylan is the one he's having the emtional incest affair with??

It's also interesting how this relationship has changed at the time when they are -- like elle and paul in 2007 -- basically alone together. They both don't seem to have anyone else that they can rely on at the start of the reboot. David is gone, Elly is gone, Terese and Paul are broken up and Abi is a child. But the introduction of another person, Krista, has made the relationship untenable because her presence threatens Paul and Leo from their very foundations. Someone who might make Leo act on his feeling that he needs to get away from Paul.

If I was smarter I'm sure I'd have something interesting to say about the intersection of these identities and how that gender coding is used when writing Leo and even how that can be construed as related to his race. IDK maybe he wins the award for most interesting guy of all time on neighbours. hng.

#neighbourspost #mitzianswers

[mpregfrance]

Hypermobile Françoise anon here again

Honestly

Françoise's gender identity journey really connected with me, though I'm on the opposite side of the coin. How she views male just being the gender on her birth certificate is just like how I view womanhood

I never fit in with it no matter how I tried. And I related so hard to some things Françoise said or didz but in such different ways.

Ps, sorry for typos it's like 1am and I'm just,,, aaaaaaa about Françoise

thank you!! no need to apologize ever i am also ,,, aaaaaaa about her at all times

that line may have been misinterpreted but that's on me as the author tbh. as we've established in this particular characterization she's a binary trans woman, a big part of her transition is discovering that she doesn't associate with male-ness whatsoever. the fact that she is labeled male at all is actually a source of dysphoria, she's not exactly accepting of it. lucky for her tho birth certificates can be changed!!

anyway i'm thrilled to hear you can relate to her experience. maybe it even sparked some self realization in you??!! that's so sweet <3 your compliments are always so appreciated and honestly relieving bc i've been feeling pretty shit about my writing lately.

the way i write about gender, gender roles, presentation, and identity in fiction is actually vastly different from how i feel off the page (irl).

i'll try not to turn this into an unrelated gender theory rant. actually that's a lie that's exactly what i'm going to do.

as a cis woman who identified as a lesbian for most of my life but got hit HARD by the comphet hammer and is now a very confused bisexual, i personally view womanhood as a fact. to me, it's just my sex. big fat F on my birth certificate, simple as. i don't consider myself non-binary or agender. i don't have a gender identity. i am a woman because i am and that's that. there's also no wrong way to be a woman, no matter what parts you have or what shape your body is.

when i'm writing this character who is a trans woman, dressing up in explicitly feminine clothes and doing her makeup, or performing a traditionally feminine task, that provides her gender euphoria. whereas to me personally, it usually feels like a chore and a facade.

the way i look outwardly also doesn't match how i feel inwardly. on a given day i come off butch as fuck, i'm actually pretty femme in my behavior. i like femininity and i wish i could feel comfortable in it; but i don't have the money, energy or bathroom counter space to put effort into my appearance, therefore i'm not visibly feminine in a society where masculinity is the default. still a woman bc i said so.

in my opinion, gender, in the truest definition, is a construct. it can be a prison. but i'm not decrying gender as complete bullshit. because to some, especially trans people, the concept of gender can also be very freeing. there's no morally superior position here. everyone experiences gender and sex differently - they're both spectrums. every individual and society has unique definitions for what actions and appearances are feminine vs. masculine in their perspective.

obviously i'm not gender critical in a terf way, but i do think getting too deep into gender ideology has the potential to enforce oppressive gender roles and i'm incredibly critical of this current romanticization of 'girlhood' that promotes the infantilization of women. even in this day and age, so much of traditional femininity is about external appearances and the maintenance thereof.

conventional feminity is also heavily dependent on the presence of a masculine counterpart who in turn performs masculinity on her behalf. whether consciously or not, this is still portrayed as the ideal structure in the majority of societies. most heterosexual relationships are transactional. one is the caretaker and the other is the provider. this is particularly true for the middle class. my husband and i are very much working class. when i wasn't working, i wasn't a 'housewife' - i was unemployed. i don't have the financial privilege to be a housewife. liberal feminism promises women the 'choice' to be a SAHM (still the ideal standard, thank you internalized misogyny!!) or a working mom (you're 'empowered', but you care about your kids less!!) poor people don't have the luxury of choices. many of us can't afford to have families at all, much less decide which labor to pursue.

anyway that is a tanget which goes beyond gender into the can of worms that is family economics. back to our regularly scheduled rant.

so anyway. gender. as a decrepit old bitch this is my sage advice to the youth. there are two sides to every coin.

exploring different identities is a natural part of the human experience. choosing to affix yourself with a certain label can be reassuring. it might be the missing piece to figuring out who you are. especially in online spaces, there's an appealing sense of community that comes with these labels, which can provide validation especially if your background has not been supportive of LGBT+ expression.

but also consider the fact that forcing yourself to fit into a label for the sake of having a label might make you feel worse and prompt more dysphoria in the long run. just be authentic to yourself, there's only one you. you don't have to display a prescribed image and you certainly don't need to explain yourself to anyone. love yourself first.

#ask and ye shall receive #don't talk to me unless you want a 10 paragraph analytical rant xx #gender #gender identity #gender ideology #feminism #gender roles

[lehdenlaulu]

>That because you can follow them on Instagram/Twitter/etc. and therefore can technically interact with them directly, you get to demand these things from them

Yeah, this. It's the entitlement for me. Regretfully, especially a lot of young(er) people seem to think that just because someone posts on insta or whatever, they have to show you every single bit of their life and owe you "authenticity". No, they don't. They don't owe you shit. They did their job, you enjoyed seeing them do it, they don't owe you anything beyond that. They can lie to you through their teeth if they want.

Side not: I also LOATHE how the term "queerbaiting" has lost all its meaning and is used for anything from "this storyline isn't progressing how I envisioned it in my head" to "this celebrity is playing with gender/sexuality while not explicitly telling me how they identify". Especially the latter infuriates me to no end. And yet, I see actual gay people say "xy is queerbaiting and he knows it", and I'm always wondering - what are you supposedly being baited with? What is it that you think you are owed and not getting? You are getting music, or movies, or other art, what do you want other than that?

Sorry, now it's me that went off on a tangent. But I appreciated your reply.

Absolutely. I understand that all of us are thoughtless and dumb when we're young and tend to have a very black-and-white worldview since our brains are still developing, but... Yeah. I've been around the block enough times to know online fandoms have always had terrible aspects and unhealthy obsessions and entitlement are not exactly new. It's just... so easy these days. Too easy.

(Like... I feel genuinely sorry for the generation that has grown up permanently online in the era of social media because this is honestly already in many ways a more horrific cyberpunk dystopia than anyone in the '80s could ever imagine. But yeah, that's a rant for another day when I'm less knackered.)

But in a nutshell: Entitlement. Instant gratification. Addiction to the rush of self-righteousness. Using concepts of identity as weapons to bash anyone who disagrees with you or leverage to get what you want or excuse your behavior. And for fuck's sake: a major film studio marketing a blockbuster or perhaps a high-profile pop star who is essentially a product created by their label can queerbait you. A random actor who you fantasize about in some capacity can't. They weren't leading you on personally -- and hell, even in the extremely unlikely scenario that they were, you gotta learn to handle rejection -- and lashing out at them for your fantasy bubble being burst is... not fucking healthy.

And hey, no need to apologize -- and anytime! 😂

#q and a #an-axe-for-the-sea-within