#if you got that reference i'll give you a cookie

[sealrock]

2/3 of the 'dream team' as I dubbed them, achille's friends back in the shroud during the early days of 1.0: nilo'ya zhwan & nel dubois

as of now they're still in the shroud as adults (the pics are of their teen selves), but they write to achille as often as chiron does, and they consider ul'dah as the 'big city' compared to the small, backwater village of boughbury

random facts under the cut:

nilo'ya—

was originally born in the west shroud. youngest child of ten children (seven brothers, two sisters). as his name suggests, he was the eighth son

his siblings were all older than him and by the time he got old enough to remember them, most were out of the family home as adults

a few of his brothers got involved with poaching, but the others went on to be wood wailers and quivermen in gridania. nilo'ya heard from them rarely as he grew up

his father was hardly around. his mother passed when he was a child, but before she died she sent nilo'ya to be raised by his grandparents in the south shroud

being the baby of the family, nilo'ya felt left behind by his older siblings and secretly held grudges against them for not being with him when their mother passed. he started acting out as a teen but mellowed with age

he had dreams of being an airship pilot as a kid from watching the ixal, but was discouraged from his passion by his family

when the calamity struck, the entire west shroud was destroyed. his brothers who stayed behind as poachers likely perished in the destruction

he eventually became his grandparents' caretakers as a teen when they became too old and sick to look after him. nilo'ya would wander around the shroud and stir up trouble in his free time. he was often the target of xenophobic bullying from the other teens in the area

nel and nilo'ya became friends as children when he moved into the village. a few years after that, nilo'ya was the first person to approach achille. achille didn't like him at first, but nilo'ya was persistent and it's how achille joined his little group with nel

as of now in the present, nilo'ya works in the mun-tuy cellars, but he continued to dream about flying an airship. he wishes to visit achille in ul'dah once he saves up enough money to make the trip

nel—

middle child of three sisters, she lived underground with her family in a more inhabited part of the gelmorra ruins nearby boughbury. her family, one of the few hundred duskwights still residing inside the caves, strived to restore their homeland as their ancestors wished

nel got her first taste of the outside world when she snuck above ground as a little girl. it would become part of her routine to explore the forest, against her parents' wishes, so they forbade her to talk to 'the outsiders'

she met nilo'ya by chance as a child. having never seen a miqo'te before, and vice versa for nilo'ya, he became her first friend despite being an outsider

the other kids, and some of the adults, in the area treated her with scorn and bigotry. she wasn't allowed to enter the village as a result

one night above ground, a thirteen-year-old nel was seriously burned and disfigured in an event that her family deemed intentional by the outsiders. nel wouldn't discuss how she got her burns, but the nerves in her fingers and arms were damaged to the point of numbness

after the incident, nel didn't wander too far from home and tried to avoid other people besides nilo'ya, and eventually achille

she would teasingly, if not affectionately, call achille 'smalls' or 'baby ears' because of his halfling ancestry and otherwise short stature. she and achille would butt heads the most, but achille would fight anyone who disrespected her

her nickname for nilo'ya is 'moggie'

she was originally the one to craft the trio's friendship bracelets

now as an adult, nel continues to live underground, but she always looks forward to hearing from achille and his tales about life up above

#mypost. #ffxiv gpose #ffxiv screenshots #ffxiv oc #meta. #nel vc: you're killin' me smalls! #if you got that reference i'll give you a cookie #anyway i love them :') #q.

[sweetgaleria]

angry guard stomping through! >:C

#the owl house #toh #hunter #golden guard #animation #duda doodles #his hair was a bUTT to draw #and i got carried away #i should be writing my thesis :') #if you know what this is a reference to i'll give you a cookie

[teaboot]

As someone who learnt english as a second language via textbook, I have to say "flying by the seat of my pants" is a hilarious idiom xD

It's the first time I've seen/heard it.

Could you share another one you like using?

Idk about idioms specifically, but there's a bunch of phrases I learned from my mom!

Lord love a duck! (Incredulous, like 'oh my god')

Lord suffer in sheep dip! (Sheep dip meaning sheep poop. Incredulous, but for annoying things- like 'are you kidding me?')

Is there a piano tied to your ass? ('Don't be lazy, do it yourself')

Someone's cruising for a bruising. (You're picking a fight.)

I don't give a rat's rip. ('I don't care'- a rat's 'rip' is it's butt crack.)

Pull up a stump! (Get yourself a chair, sit down.)

Everybody out of the pool! (Get out of the car)

I'm flying by the seat of my pants. (I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.)

Don't go blowing smoke up my ass. (Don't over-compliment me, don't flatter me, don't stroke my ego, don't tell me positive lies)

Looks like it's gonna rain on our parade. (A storm is coming.)

Sorry to rain on your parade. (I've given you bad news- can be used sincerely or sarcastically to denote sympathy for incurring a bad mood.)

Better button that lip. (Stop talking.)

Someone's gonna stick a boot up your ass. ('Stick a boot up your ass'- fight you, beat you, kick your ass.)

Stick that lip out any further, and a pigeon'll shit on it. (Stop whining.)

Suck it up, buttercup. (Stop whining.)

Dumber than a fence post. (Very stupid.)

The back forty. (The wild or forested area behind a rural home. The 'forty' being forty acres, or farmland.)

Don't go begging for a fat lip. (Whatever you're saying or doing is going to bother people and get you in trouble.)

What on God's green earth (What the fuck)

I'm sweating like a pig in a porta-potty (like a pig in a plastic outhouse- I'm very warm, it's hot here)

He thinks the universe flew out of his ass. (He thinks he's more impressive than he is.)

Your mouth wrote a cheque your ass couldn't cash. (You promised more than you were capable of providing.)

You've got a horseshoe up your ass. (You're very, very lucky.)

Taking a dirt nap. (Dead.)

Pushing (up) daisies. (Dead.)

Give me forty acres to turn this rig around. (I need time and space to move this large, heavy, or unwieldy thing. Usually about navigating a vehicle. Taken from a song lyric.)

Jesus take the wheel. (God help me, I can't handle this, I give up.)

Gone belly-up. (Has died.)

We've got a floater. (This one is dead.)

Herding cats. (Trying to organize chaos, managing an impossibly complicated situation.)

I've got a black thumb. (I am bad at growing plants, all my plants die- reference to having a 'green thumb', or being good at growing plants.)

Stop trackin' floor cookies. (Floor cookies are bits of animal shit that fall off your work boots- 'tracking floor cookies' means wearing your boots in the house; take your shoes off at the door.)

Running around like a headless chicken. (Frantic, disorganized, stressed out by many tasks or panicked by a big situation.)

Spinning my wheels. (Waiting around for something to happen, getting nowhere, frustrated by inactivity, not making any progress towards a goal.)

He's gonna blow a gasket. (He's going to lose his temper, he's going to be angry.)

They'll tan your hide. (They'll punish you severely; usually through violence. Specifically in reference to a spanking.)

He's a few bricks short a load. (He's not clever / he doesn't think things through / he's crazy)

Not the sharpest tool in the shed. (Not the smartest person. Very dumb, clumsy, or absent-minded.)

I'm not going to bail you out. (Not going to save your sinking boat- not going to help you out of your bad situation.)

Looks like things are going south. (The situation is growing worse.)

I'll start making tracks. (I'll leave now, I'll start working, I'll get going.)

He's fucking the dog. (He's not being productive, he's doing a bad job, he's made things worse, he's screwing around.)

He's making puppies. (Less graphic version of 'fucking the dog'.)

Plant your ass. (Sit.)

Playing grab-ass. (Procrastinating- accomplishing nothing, slowing people down.)

He couldn't find his ass in the dark. (He's stupid, ineffective, underqualified, or incompetent.)

He couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel. (He is unbelievably, comically dumb or ineffective. He can't do anything right.)

One foot in the ground. (Dying, or half-dead.)

I'm kicking rocks. (I'm not doing anything productive.)

I'm hauling ass. (I'm running away.)

Madder than a wet hen. (Very, very angry.)

Like I said I'm not sure that these are all idioms but they're all the phrases and sayings from my childhood that I can remember right now

EDIT: Cannot BELIEVE I forgot my mom's favourite

52. Wish in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets filled first. (Wishes don't come true by themselves)

Plus some more I forgot:

53. You make a better door than a window. (You're in the way of my view.)

54. You can take a long walk off a short pier. (Go fuck yourself.)

55. He's about as sharp as a bowling ball. (He's stupid.)

56. Scoot your poot. (Move over.)

57. Not my first rodeo. (I know what I'm doing.)

58. He's built like a brick shithouse. (He's broad and sturdy and very strong, solid.)

59. I smell bacon. (I saw a cop nearby.)

60. I don't want to hear a peep. (Stop talking.)

61. You're thinking with the wrong head. (You're making bad decisions because you're horny.)

62. I'd lose my ass/head if it wasn't tied on. (I'm very absent-minded, forgetful.)

63. That went down like a lead balloon. (That situation was bad.)

#Teaboot

[mypoisonedvine]

emmet or bearded cillian who is dads best friend but is also a mechanic or something and he fixes your car and u thought it would be free but he wants a specific form of payment IF U CATCH MY DRIFT and everything is dirty and grimmy and maybe against the side of the car or inside whatever you like

i love your writing so so much im yelling any time you post something new, have a good day <3

THIS IS SO EMMETT CODED OMFG IT'S PERFECT

length: 1.7k

warnings: SMUT (18+ only!!), unspecified age gap (but everybody is an adult), semi-public sex, oral f receiving, creampie

"Well, I think she'll live," he announced with a laugh as he stood up, wiping oil-covered hands on a rag. "Just needs a new spark plug and probably a patch on the fluid exchange."

You chewed your lip as you pretended not to be a total idiot about cars. "How much is that gonna put me out for?"

He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about that too much, honey. Your dad's a good friend, we'll just call it even."

"No, Em," you sighed, stepping closer to him-- having to walk carefully so you wouldn't trip on any toolboxes left out on the garage floor. "Come on, let me at least pay for the parts or something."

He shook his head, giving you one of those smiles that melted your heart just a bit. "You've been too good to me already, sweetheart. Don't worry about me."

You felt a little awkward, realizing he was referring to how you'd helped him after his ex-wife moved out. There wasn't much you could do, of course, but you'd tried to show your support-- first by bringing some food over, first a casserole and then allegedly 'extra' cookies, even though you were a little worried he'd be offended by the possible suggestion that he couldn't cook for himself. Then, you'd given him advice on how to keep the zinnias out front alive, since their normal caretaker was too busy running away to California with her hairdresser to water them. He seemed to appreciate that, and your heart might have skipped a beat when your hands brushed against his while you were gardening together.

(Um, it was a male hairdresser, by the way. Not that it matters a whole lot...)

Maybe you would let him give you free work on your car, if you didn't happen to know that the auto shop was struggling at the moment. Sure, you figured he'd give you a deal, because that was just who he was, but you never expected to take his time and spare parts for nothing in return. "Em, please," you frowned, leaning against the hood of your car just after he'd shut it. "Let me make it up to you-- you're working so hard for me."

As his eyes fell on you, you suddenly noticed a new darkness in them; he was looking you up and down, making you shudder slightly as he leaned closer. "Jus' tryin' to take care of you, honey," he said, a little softer, and you fought the urge to bite your lip. "Can't let you drive around town in somethin' that might break down any minute."

"Well, I can't let you eat TV dinners every night," you smiled in reply. "How about I pay you back in meals, hm? You liked the chicken casserole, right?"

"Yeah, you're a good cook," he relented, "I guess I can't turn down an offer like that, can I?"

"Good," you grinned, "then I'll bring something over tonight."

"But what if I'm hungry for somethin' else?"

You got a little shaky all of a sudden, and tried not to get your hopes up-- you were probably imagining the sultry tone to his voice...

"Somethin' a little sweeter than casserole," he added, closing the space between you and lifting your chin so you would look up at him.

"...cookies?" you wondered with a weak voice, and he laughed softly.

"Don't get me wrong," he replied, "your cookies are great. But I think you know that's not what I'm talkin' about."

You didn't know how to respond to that... you weren't even sure if you supposed to respond. Apparently, he got whatever he needed just from looking into your eyes.

"Sit on the hood, honey."

He knelt in front of you as you did what you were told; he kept his eyes locked with yours as long as he could, until he started to spread your legs slowly and his gaze had to dart down under your dress.

"Oh, sweetheart," he sighed heavily, making you struggle not to press your thighs together to satisfy your sudden desire for friction. "Look at those cute little panties-- can I take 'em off for you?"

"Y-yes, please," you nodded, and he gave you a little smile as he reached up under your dress to slowly-- so painfully slowly-- pull them down your thighs.

You opened your legs perhaps a bit too eagerly once he'd slipped the panties off around your shoes and stuffed them into his pocket-- yes, you'd noticed that-- and he bit his lip at the sight, pushing your dress up just enough to get a good view. "Baby," he growled, "you're just too perfect."

You thought maybe he'd ask again, like he had before he took off your panties-- maybe just because he knew you'd say yes. But he didn't: he just dove right in all of a sudden, making you gasp and moan as his tongue and lips explored all over you.

He devoured you with every lap, humming and moaning between those beautifully filthy, wet noises the whole ordeal created.

"P-please," you gasped, running your fingers through his long, wavy hair.

"Oh, honey," he groaned proudly, pulling back slightly to look up at you before delivering a gentle peck to your swollen clit. "You sound too cute when you're beggin'."

Going back in again, he sucked harder on your clit until your thighs instinctively clamped down on his head-- which didn't deter him at all, anyway. "E-Emmett, fuck, just like that--" you choked out, holding tighter to his hair, "oh fuck!"

Groaning encouragingly, he slid his tongue inside you and shut his eyes tight as you started to rock your hips on his face.

He found a pattern pretty quickly, holding you steady by your thighs so he could force every sensation on you; he teased your opening with his tongue, but focused mostly on your clit until you were shaking all over. You kept trying to tell him you were going to come, but it was obvious by how hard you struggled to put a sentence together. When you did come on his tongue, it was quieter than you expected-- a silent scream, which broke into a long, low moan when you were actually able to breathe again.

His tongue on your clit became too much all of a sudden, and your hand in his hair started to push him away. Thankfully, he did stop, and you started to slowly come back to reality.

He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand as he stood up to face you again, starting to open his jeans quickly.

"Fuck, Em," you panted as you tried to catch your breath, blinking the blur out of your eyes to get a better view of his proud, tilted grin. "What'd you do that for?"

"Just needed to hear you scream, princess," he winked, reaching into his boxers. "And I figured I won't last long when I'm inside ya, anyway-- s'been a while..."

He pulled his cock out of his pants, instantly pressing the tip up to you and lining himself with your opening.

"And I like the idea of still being able to smell your pussy in my beard tomorrow," he added, just before he slid inside your waiting channel.

He grunted as he filled you, head falling back with a heavy sigh through his nose. "O-oh," you choked out, grabbing one of his shoulders to stay stable as he started to move.

"God, baby," he purred, "I was right-- fuck, I won't last. Sorry, but I've been waitin' too damn long..."

You wanted to tell him that you didn't care-- that you actually thought it was insanely sexy how affected he was by all this-- but when you opened your mouth, you could only moan desperately. Your previous orgasm had left your insides all sticky and sensitive, every thrust overwhelming you with tension and friction. And thank god for how wet it had made you, too, or you might have had more trouble fitting his generous girth inside you...

"Knew you'd be so good for me," he grunted, "such a good girl-- wanted you for so long, honey."

You whimpered behind a bitten lip, blinking up at him expectantly. "How long?"

He smirked a little, before leaning in to kiss your neck playfully-- teasing your pulse with the very tip of his tongue. "I shouldn't say," he mumbled.

"Please," you gasped, "god, Em-- I gotta know..."

"Before the divorce," was all he'd say, but that was enough to make you quiver inside-- you'd always wondered, hoped, that he shared your interest, but you had spent most of your time pretending you didn't have a crush on him since he was closer to your dad's age and, you know, married. At the time. "She used to get mad at me when she caught me lookin' at you," he admitted with a low chuckle that made chills run up your spine in delight. "She was jealous of how fuckin' pretty you are... how sweet you are... how good you are..."

"Emmett," you whimpered, clinging to him tighter, "Em, please, I'm so close--"

"Fuck, baby, g'na come again?" he taunted with a grin, one of his hands tightening its grip on your waist. "Go ahead, honey, give my cock a nice li'l squeeze, huh?"

"Yes, fuck, yes," you gasped. "Fuck!"

"Not too loud, sweetheart," he warned, "got another mechanic in the other garage-- don't want him hearin' you... don't want anyone hearin' those pretty sounds but me, okay, princess?"

But he found a much more reliable way to shut you up: he kissed you, hard and desperate, and you moaned against his lips as you tasted yourself on his tongue. Your whimpers of his name were almost unintelligible as he kissed you, but he clearly understood them: he fucked you harder, faster, deeper, grunting promises to come inside you and leave you dripping with his come for the rest of the night. You encouraged him as best you could while being totally speechless-- and with a whine, you came around him just before he filled you with a gruff purr of his own.

Sighing, he dropped his head onto your shoulder, running his fingers down your back through your dress to make you shiver in his arms one more time. "Beautiful," he praised under his breath, kissing softly beside your ear. "So beautiful, honey..."

You smiled softly, wrapping your arms around him in a lazy embrace. "You're the one that's too good to me, Em," you whispered. "When did you figure out I had a crush on you?"

"Sometime after you brought me the casserole, but before you came on my face."

#emmett a quiet place x reader #emmett a quiet place smut #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy smut

[kayrrhin]

hello!

i saw your commissions were opened after a fic i read, idk if you write for multiple characters but i’d like to request for robin, law, cora, yamato, and ace, with no peculiar pronouns for the reader, it can be fluff or nsfw, as you feel more comfortable with!

feel free to add more or not write for some ofc, no pressure it’s totally understandable, don’t overdo yourself, please and thanks!

I'm going to be honest, you made a commission which literally features all of my all time favorite babies so let's goooo, i also assumed it was all separated since there were no specification, good reading!

3am baking

characters: Robin, Law, Corazon, Yamato, Ace

fluff, use of pet names, ft. teenager law in Cora's part

Reader's gender is not referred so it can be any gender

Warnings: use of swear words, a bit suggestive at Law's part, french

Robin:

"wow, so far it looks good!"

You looked at the cupcakes you and your girlfriend were making, so far there was only the dough but wow it looked good.

"I'm amazed that we're able to make such good cupcakes at this time of day, at least so far the dough is good!"

You grin at the archeologist and wipe some of the flour off her nose.

"Thanks, love."

You smiled and began to put the dough into the moulds, putting them in the oven.

"Now all we have to do is wait!"

Robin put her arms around you from behind and kissed your temple,

"I just hope Sanji doesn't take this the wrong way"

You chuckled a little

"The only thing Sanji might do is cry because we made it ourselves and he didn't cook it for us, or be amazed because it's going to be super good!"

You kissed her cheek and smiled proudly.

"haha, I guess you're right, I have to say though, what a strange urge to want to cook at such an hour, darling"

"Yes, I know, but at least we'll have snacks to read"

She smiles sweetly and kisses you, her soft lips resting on yours.

"Actually, I just hope they're still good tomorrow"

You looked up in a thinking manner for a bit,

"aaah you're right...it's probably going to be a little drier depending on how it goes..."

Your lover chuckled and kissed you.

"Don't worry too much, with a bit of tea it's going to be great, love"

After a little while you finished the cupcakes and boy were they good, as was the sleep you got afterwards.

Law

"You're messing up your sleep schedule right now."

Your boyfriend said, watching you make cookie dough,

"Oh, you're one to talk! At least it's not to overwork myself but to make cookies!"

You smile and continue to work on your work of art, but you feel someone approaching you.

"Let me help you at least, it might be fun... I guess."

He seemed a little embarrassed but helped you with the cookies anyway,

"Aaaw, thanks, love!"

You smiled at him and continued to bake, when the dough was separated, the surgeon put them in the oven, setting the temperature correctly.

"Can you put a timer on please?"

"Yep, I got it!"

You set the timer and start waiting, Law lifts you up to sit on the counter and kisses you on the forehead.

"I'll never understand how you can cook for ten people in the middle of the night"

He then kisses your jaw and puts his hands on your waist,

"I'll say it's my will to eat that gives me this strength, or a mental breakdown"

He chuckled and kissed your lips, slowly moving down to your neck, kissing it and leaving a few marks here and there, he started to get a little more impatient only for the timer to remind you both that the cookies were still in the oven,

"Yes! My cookies!"

You got off the counter, took out the cookies and turned off the oven.

"wooow, these look dashing!"

"Yes. They are."

You laugh, seeing your boyfriend a little frustrated by the sudden stop,

"Come on, sweetheart, we can continue where we left off for a few minutes, the cookies still need to cool."

"I don't know if I love you or hate you, [Name]-ya"

Corazon

"I'm surprised we made it this far without burning the kitchen down!"

You've finished putting your mixture on the plate to put what will soon be brownies in the oven,

"Me too, you've really taken the easiest thing to do"

Your lover wrapped his arms around you, pulling you closer to his giant body.

"Yeah, I figured at 3am, burning the house down wasn't the best way to make something"

You laugh, nuzzling your face into his chest, him, resting his head on top of yours.

"You're right, I'm not sure Law would like us to set the house on fire."

He pulled his face closer to yours and kissed the tip of your nose, then your temple, and lips.

"He'd probably kick our asses if we did, I wonder who the real adults are"

You both laughed and stayed like that for a little while, to be fair the reason he hadn't set the kitchen on fire was because you were making sure he wasn't near anything that could catch fire, mainly his coat which was left in the living room for that specific reason.

"I think the brownies are good, let me turn off the stove"

You did so and smelled the brownies,

"wow, that smells really good, mi vida, we did a great job!"

He kissed you on the cheek and stumbled, causing you to lose your balance.

"OH FUCK—"

You looked at the brownies that were about to fall out, but they were replaced by a pillow.

"hah?"

"Can you be careful??? First I wake up because you can't keep it down, when I get up you're immediately about to injure yourself, and you're the adults here?"

"Right! Sorry we woke you up..."

"and thanks for saving us from a third degree burn!"

The teenager looked at you both and sighed.

" It's okay, plus it smells good, it would be sad to let it go to waste"

You look at your partner and both laughed

"Well, I guess it couldn't have gone without at least one little mistake"

Yamato

"Woooh! [Name], look, it's growing!"

You giggled at your golden retriever boyfriend who was looking at the gateau au yaourt in the stove.

"Yeah, that's the baking powder, baby"

Your boyfriend looked at you in awe, it was the first time in a long time he'd cooked in a real kitchen, so when you said you wanted to make a cake at 2:56am, he looked at you and instantly got up, already jumping towards the kitchen.

"This is so cool! And it smells so good too! My love, you are so good at baking! You are a god/goddess!"

Your boyfriend lifted you up in his arms, you laughed at his gesture.

" Pretty boy, I think you're over-reacting, I only have basic cooking skill"

He laughed and peppered your face with kisses, which made you giggle.

"Love, can you put me down? I need to turn off the oven"

"Oh yes, sorry!"

He puts you down and lets you reach the oven, you turn it off and take out the chocolate cake, the smell of the cake reaches your nostrils, but you smell something else, like vanilla.

"Wow, that smells good, you know why it smells like va...ni...la?", Finishing your sentence, you turn your head to notice the empty bottle of vanilla extract on the counter.

"Um... it smelled good, and like vanilla so..."

"Please tell me the bottle wasn't full."

You prayed for a second, imagining that the strong taste of vanilla was too much for your taste buds and mentally cried, but your boyfriend assured you that the bottle was almost empty when he did so.

"Ok, time to try it then, I really hope you're not lying because it smells like vanilla hell right now".

You took a bite and ate it, it was indeed very good and the vanilla taste wasn't overwhelming, which reassured your taste buds, you kissed your lover and took the cake to bring it in your room.

"Ah! I told you I didn't put it all in!"

Your boyfriend exclaimed, proud that he had not made a dumb mistake (for once).

"Yes, you did! I think it's time to eat it while reading about Oden, don't you think, big guy?"

"YES!"

Ace

"oui, oui, baguette ! Quoisan !"

Your boyfriend laughed as he helped you prepare the croissants.

"Ace, shut the fuck up, it's 3am if Tatch hears us, we're dead"

The last time Tatch caught you, you were punished by cleaning the bathroom for 3 months, but you both had a sudden urge to cook after a long make out session.

"Come on, this time we're doing a good job and the ingredients were paid by us, this time if he catches us he won't have anything to blame us for"

He smiles as he rolls the dough into a croissant shape.

"You're right but still, I'm not sure having two dumbasses in your kitchen at 3am is the best way to wake up, even if you just want a glass of water."

the freckled boy finished making the shape and placed a napkin on the plate to let it sit and walked over to you and threw his arms around your waist.

"But I like to cook at night with my dumbass and my dumber self"

He chuckled and kissed your cheek.

"Pff, you're so cheesy, what's happening to you so suddenly, love? A second ago you were speaking broken French if I remember correctly."

You look at him, amused by his sudden display of affection.

"Hey, it's not my fault that my heart races when I see you."

"Oh, you're in your flirty state again, finish the croissant, idiot, and kiss me afterwards."

You both chuckled and he put his lips to yours, he was so goofy, my Lord.

"You two again???"

"Fuck, Tatch, wait, we can explain!"

#one piece x gn reader #one piece x male reader #one piece x reader #corazon x reader #trafalgar law x reader #nico robin x reader #yamato x reader #ace x reader #one piece #trafalgar law x gn reader #corazon x gn reader #nico robin x gn reader #Yamato x gn reader #ace x gn reader #ace x male reader #yamato x male reader #nico robin x male reader #corazon x male reader #trafalgar law x male reader

[shmolish]

AN: This is an April Fools special because I feel like Shadow Milk definitely uses this day as an excuse to pull pranks on you. I really wanted to make an Easter Special yesterday but ran out of time.

Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader

Oneshot

Warnings: None

-April Fools!-

Today is a day that you haven't exactly been looking forward to. You see, Shadow Milk Cookie is no stranger to pulling a prank or two. He actually does it very often, and every time you fall for one, he'll laugh and laugh and laugh.

But now that it was April first, he actually had an excuse.

Normally, you're awoken by the chime of your alarm clock or by Shadow Milk Cookie shaking you awake because he's bored and needs attention.

Today it was from a gong.

Yes, that big cymbal looking thing. Honestly, who just casually has one of those lying around?

Shadow Milk, apparently.

"Good morning Doll!" He said cheerfully and like he did not just burst your eardrums.

You would groggily lean up in the bed, giving your boyfriend an annoyed glare.

"You've just been holding onto one of those for this moment?" You asked him, referring to the gong.

"Nope! I just got it in yesterday."

Of course he did.

"Now come on, we've got a big day ahead of us! Hurry up and get ready, silly." He shoved you into the bathroom for you to get yourself ready.

If you thought that he also wouldn't take this chance to pull something, then you'd be poorly mistaken.

The mirror was fully covered in sticky notes, and this was a big mirror. All of them were different shades of blue, as well.

Written on each of them was a different thing that he liked about you.

You read every single one.

It was a cute prank and you appreciated the dedication, but... now you didn't want to take them off.

Okay, that's fine, you can just use the mini makeup mirror instead. No big deal.

He's such a brat. Cute, but still obnoxious.

Once you finished getting ready, you walked out of the bathroom to see a still smiling Shadow Milk Cookie.

He was waiting for something.

"It was cute," You'd say.

"I know! ...Did you take it down though?"

"No."

"Oh really? You liked it that much? I'll make sure to compliment you more often, then."

He walked up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder. He left some soft kisses along your neck.

"Come on dove, let's go eat~"

Shadow Milk Cookie began to guide you outside of the bedroom and into the kitchen.

Everything was upside-down.

The couch, the picture frames, the lamp. Everything.

When you looked towards the obvious culprit, he only had yet another innocent smile on his face.

"Oh my, what happened here?" He'd ask, feigning ignorance.

"I wonder.."

How did he even have the time for something like this? No. How did he even do something like this? It was almost impressive.

"So... how do you plan to eat breakfast like this?" You asked him, crossing your eyes with a disappointing look.

"Ah right..." He just kinda stares at the ceiling before snapping his fingers. All of the furniture returns to its original place. There was also some breakfast on the table.

"See. I think ahead!" He gestured for you to sit down, to which you obliged, and began eating the food that Shadow Milk Cookie prepared.

Nothing seemed odd about it.

It's strange. He keeps alternating between sweet and sour.

What exactly was his plan?

You took a sip of the coffee Shadow Milk had prepared.

It wasn't sweet.

No, it was actually very bitter.

Salty, even.

"Do you like it? I added a special little something," he said with a smile.

"Why are you like this?"

"April Fools!"

It was going to be a long day.

#cookie run kingdom #crk #crk x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #cookie run #shadow milk cookie x reader #shadow milk cookie crk #april fools #shadow milk crk #shadow milk cookie oneshot #shadow milk cookie x reader oneshot #shadow milk #shadow milk x reader oneshot

[astrologythingzzz]

Moon sign observations ✨🌝

Hi everyone! I've thought about doing these for a very long time now! I'll be using my own experiences with the moon signs! 🌙

Some observations are going to be more accurate than others!

Take what resonates and please know that none of these are meant to hurt anyone! 🌝

P.s. I started a tiktok account. It's called Astrologythingzzz too. Check it out if you want to! 🧡

Aries moon

My mom has this placement. She's very ambitious, but also really loves to experience new things every other day! She can be very impulsive with money (it is in her 2nd house). Her emotions sometimes get the best of her. She needs variety and stimulation, when she was in her 20s she travelled a lot and had a big friend group! Personally, I've never met many people with aries moons so she's my only reference.

Taurus moon

My dad is a taurus moon. His most used sentence is "You can save money in every part of you life, but you should never save money when it comes to food." I think that's very typical for taurus placements. He craves stability and peace. He loves good food, dancing and family time. His love language is also giving you food that you like! He likes tradition, he's from Italy so he always makes sure that his children are very much in touch with his roots.

Gemini moon

That is my placement! I don't know anyone else with that placement, so I'll write down my own experience with this one. I'm bored easily, but I'm not superficial. Actually I'm not that social and not very outgoing. As a Child i loved reading and fantasising. I get very restless and nervous, sometimes I have sleep issues if my body is in distress (it is in my 12th house tho). I feel like there are two different gemini moon people, the one is the social, outgoing one, the other is socially withdrawn and nervous. Guess I got the latter one! 🌝

Cancer moon

These are the most loving, warm hearted people ever. They do everything for their family, they provide and make the best gifts! They really listen to the people they love, they also sense your feelings and are amazing at comforting. One of my best friends that I used to talk to had this placement. Sadly we are not involved with each other anymore, but she always felt like home to me. You can count on them to cook you your favorite meal or bake your favorite cookies!

Leo moon

Sadly I've never been truly involved with one. The ones that I know are very obsessed with their image. The girl has really long hair, she's even known for it. But the guy has always been very attention craving. He is very sweet deep down and romantic. But also kind of toxic, I feel like he's an unevolved leo moon. Hopefully I'll get to know more leo moons, they seem so warm and welcoming!

Virgo moon

My girl bestfriend has this placement. We both love talking about kind of everything (mercurial moons) wether it be books, gossip, personal stuff... She gets stomach issues when stressed. She loves animals, she has a very deep bond to her pet dog. She lives vegan and loves minimalistic interior design. She always cared for her younger siblings, cooking for them, sometimes even taking the role of a caretaker (she's a cancer sun). We haven't been very much in touch lately, but I still cherish her a lot! She helped me getting through many things and I can count on her to always be honest with me. I have also shared a flat with two other virgo moons, the one was absolutely crazy about houseplants, she had like 30 in her room. She was very nice and gentle, but a little too naggy for me. The other one is my soulsister, we always grabbed food or cooked together which was very fun!!

Libra moon

Sadly, I didn't have the best experience with this placement. A friend in school had this, and she just was very passive aggressive. She wasn't romantic or warm, she was rather cold and aloof. When I started dating my boyfriend, she got so jealous and accused me of never having time for her. We never really hung out anyways, but that's when she started getting toxic. Her mother was very strict so she also became like that. She was also the one person that always complained about the exams but in the end she always had A's. We lost touch after school and I'm very glad about it. I know that she was probably an unevolved libra moon, so I hope I'll get to know the nice, gentle and loving ones! 🌚

Scorpio moon

I lived with one for about 4 months. She was very shy, but she was willing to open up. When you criticised her, she felt completely offended and never really talked to me ever again. She moved out very soon and my other flat mates and I weren't so sad about it. She never talked to us, she didn't even get out of her room after this one incident, where we criticised her for never coming out of her room. We were 4 girls sharing a big flat, 3 of us were always going out and having fun together, she never even read our text messages so we just assumed she didn't want to be involved with us. She just seemed very cold. In the end she blamed us for being cold, even though we invited her out for like a 100 times. We were even a little scared of her, she just seemed so unfriendly. I have never heard of her every since and I'm not mad about it.

Sagittarius moon

I know some people with this placement. Actually many of them are studying to become a lawyer and they're pretty good at it. One of them is becoming a police officer the other wants to be a politician. They cherish their own opinion a lot, they love living life as they want to. They are down for partying every weekend, I also saw a connection with drinking too much... Sometimes the girls are "not like other girls" because of their love for danger and adventure. One of them always felt the need to rub under my nose how much she liked to perform sports and whatever. They are very sporty though. But I sometimes get the feeling they take themselves too seriously. Not my favorite moon placement, but they're alright. They can be a little braggy and their political views can be a little extreme. A love for animals and justice.

Capricorn moon

Sorry, but no. 🧡 They treat everything as a transaction, if they're giving you something, you automatically owe them. They can be funny though and really nice. They are very ambitious. I noticed they do have a problem with feelings, and if they're getting involved with you, it is for the long run. On the other hand, if you don't seem like the one, they will just leave you hanging around until they find a better option. Maybe that's just my experience. I feel like their childhood was very strict, they had to look after themselves and their parents weren't very supportive of them. Might have a narcissistic mom.

Aquarius moon

That's another placement that was my flatmate. She also had a very rough childhood. Her father wasn't even involved, her mother always favoured her brothers over her. It was really hard getting to know her and even though i had loved to stay in touch with her, I haven't heard of her after moving out, which is kinda sad. She was very emotionally codependent on her boyfriend, so there wasn't really space for any other relationship in her life. I just hope she's happy now. :) The other aqua moon I know studies the same subject at university like me. We get along very well, but we're not best friends. She also seems a little distant, she lives in her own world and has her own circle of friends. But she's very nice and very human(?) I love talking to her, it just makes me feel great! 🧡

Pisces moon

This one is a little tricky. My boyfriend has this placement, and he's the most gentle, kind, supportive, understanding and loving person I know. Pisces moons can be the most creative, selfless and caring people in the world. On the other hand, my bully in high school had this placement 💀 She always used me for homework and talked sh*t about me behind my back. I feel like pisces is a placement in general, that really needs to learn how to deal with their gentle and sensitive nature. It seems like many of them try to mask their feelings by being mean/ dominant/aggressive. But it's no weakness to show emotions! 🧡 Because of my boyfriend, it's probably my favorite moon sign! 🧡

That would be it! Hope you liked it!

If you can't resonate, please know that these are my personal experiences with the moon signs. Every moon sign has an evolved and unevolved part. I feel like I met a lot of unevolved ones. Sadly.

Anyways, see you soon, love you. Byee🧡

#astrology #moon signs #moon observations #leo moon #cancer #cancer moon #aquarius moon #pisces moon #libra moon #taurus moon #aries moon #gemini moon #sagittarius moon #virgo moon #capricorn moon #scorpio moon #astrology observations #astro observations

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and Hero of cookies part 4

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 2999

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Dani haven't considered how hard it can be to save people from house fire

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

Trigger warnings: house fire, panic attacks, temporary character death (am I over dramatic to say this if background child character's heart stops for a long moment and Dani hears it?) slight dissociation (tell me if I missed something, I'll fix it)

Dani proved to be useful addition to Duke’s patrol routine even though she couldn’t always join him, had very little actual training and was a certified mess most of the time. It was nice to banter with her in the free time, she did help when needed and her enhanced hearing was great in finding trouble he would otherwise overlook. She also often brought snacks (he did too, because girl had no idea what was healthy and in the love of god, if he didn’t try to get her in better habits). 

“Fire on seven. Some people are stuck inside,” Dani blurted out and flew faster than baseline person should be able to withstand. Duke run and grappled after orange blur she became. It was less than perfect that she couldn’t tell more specifically where things were going down, but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t train. 

They rarely intervened with fires, unlike Gotham’s police and CPS, firefighters here worked pretty great. Dani knew this, so her going there in the first place meant something was up.

On a fly he grabbed his gas mask. It was made to withstand Scarecrow and Joker when they released their toxins and not smoke so it should do its job. He hoped that Dani would stop before entering so he could give her spare mask and well, coordinate. But she didn’t, of course. What did he expect from kid who body tackled Joker’s goon without second thought about idk, four other goons with guns being in the same room! He only saw end of her cape in between flames when he swung to the right street. Duke made sure his mask was secure when he stopped on a nearest save rooftop to assess the situation. Fire was too big to be put out with personal means like fire extinguishers so all they could do was to evacuate. 

“Hoopoe, you reckless idiot, don’t die in here,” he muttered, sure she would hear him before grappling inside too.

***

About five seconds after entering building, Dani decided that she didn’t like fires. It probably came from her time in Amity but she was far more comfortable when she could beat the root of the problem into submission. Also, it was surprisingly loud, like need-to-cover-her-ears-for-a-hot-moment type of loud. Not louder than a rogue attack, it would be really hard to beat that level of noise but fire was worse in some way. It was somewhat similar to nails on a blackboard. Not in a sound per se but in a vibe she got from it. How she couldn’t tune it out like she usually did.

She straightened herself and dove ahead to the nearest person she heard. Smoke rendered her eyes nearly absolutely useless. Though she saw, heard and felt enough to find safe routes. Of course she could go intangible and in theory wouldn’t be affected by anything from physical realm but even when intangible fire kept burning for some reason and she would prefer to stay raw to being crispy. Rescued people should stay unfried too.

She didn’t quite remember first few rescues, just that it went smoothly, she took a leaf from Danny’s book, throwing some puns and references she didn’t quite knew but from context thought they would fit. Then once outside, she kept telling them to wait for paramedics and went back inside. She was more and more on edge for some reason.

She was really glad she didn’t need to breathe as much.

Middle-aged man grabbed her arm and shook her violently, asking to save his children.

“Fourth floor, fifth window to the left. Please save them!” man cried. Dani felt kinda like snapping but took deep breath to stop herself from it. Signal would be disappointed if she yelled at panicking civilian. She could kinda relate to the man anyway. She was probably also panicking.

“I’ll save them, I promise,” she said instead, phasing out of his grip.

She heard them, little boy weakly whispering to his sister that everything would be alright as soon as the heroes would get to them. His voice was hoarse, choked, interrupted by shallow breaths while the girl sobbed. Dani darted their way. Fire unit and medics were finally getting closer.

Girl yelled when caped hero appeared in room full of smoke. They both were sitting, older boy slightly swaying.

“It’s okay, I’m here to get you out to your dad,” she soothed, grabbing them both into a hug like carry. She barely jumped away from under the crushed lamp that fell where they were half a second before. Girl yelped.

“It’s okay, I got you, it’s okay,” she muttered, hoisting kids into more comfortable position. She flew nearest way out of the rom, looking for a clear spot on an outer wall. Her stomach dropped and core spasmed when she realized that boy stopped breathing, going limp in her arms. She was panicking throughout whole of this fire rescuing mess but only then she became frantic.

Maybe it was because of the smoke that kept cluging in her throat. She didn’t need to breathe as often but now she felt like she was suffocating and was suddenly all too aware of each bit of air she managed to swallow in her lungs.

She almost dropped when they finally got out. It took less than a second for her to fly to the kids’ father. She put girl down a little to hastily before gently laying boy n the pavement. Adult was beginning to hyperventilate and honestly Dani wasn’t too far behind him. She wished Signal was there. He would know what to do. Dani only had been on one first-aid course and she spent the better part of it on reviewing memes.

She had to remember something!

Breaths! She had to make absolutely sure if he was breathing!

She remembered practicing this one, so she did as instructed, counting to fifteen instedad of ten for a good measure. Then to twenty just to be safe. She knew she was counting too fast anyway.

Boy wasn’t breathing.

He wasn’t breathing!

She wished her ears were deceiving her but there was no heartbeat too!

What was she supposed to do now?!

Oh, right, she remembered chest compression thing from movies. She could do it.

Someone yanked her back, so hard she almost hit her head.

“You’re doing it wrong. I’m nurse, I’ll do it,” young woman declared, already kneeling were Dani was mere seconds ago, unzipped boy’s hoodie and got to work. Only then halfa realized that they got circled by small crowd of people rescued from building. Two of them were calming boy’s family down. She would use some comforting too.

She scrambled to her feet, racing out the crowd. Nobody even glanced her way.

She turned around and flew back inside the burning building.

Why did it feel like running away?

*

First ambulance arrived three rescues after the boy. Dani was so relieved she had to stop for a moment because her knees buckled and flight betrayed her for a hot second. She heard only four other people inside and Signal. They would finish soon enough.

Good.

Her head was spinning slightly.

“Congratulations, you are being rescued, please do not resist” she announced with forced confidence, appearing next to the man who probably was in a gang. Thankfully he didn’t fight her. When she was back in Central City one of the Flashes told her to make sure that people know she was trying to help them especially if they seemed like the type to choose fight over other crisis responses. This man certainly did. He almost punched her anyway.

Next was boy who was far too little to be left alone. She gave him her cape. She assumed he could use the comfort it gave her. There was a reason she choose comfiest blanket to this role.

She heard Signal making his way to the last victim but for some reason it was slow going. She flew up there after the last reassuring words to the boy.

She learned why Signal got stuck about three seconds after appearing on the right floor. It was a literal epicenter or whatever it was called. The root of the problem. The literal Hell on earth. Dani stopped for a moment, downed by the coughing fit and tears making her sight absolutely useless.

Signal was talking to someone. Asking them to calm down. She wasn’t sure. Dani forced herself to stand up and go see what was happening. She was probably swaying a little.

There was young woman in the middle of the fire. There was no scent of burning skin or hair so Dani assumed there were some powers involved. Thankfully most likely she wasn't a ghost. Dani wasn’t in the right headspace to fight a ghost and as cool and competent as Signal was, he couldn’t fight ghosts either.

Woman was visibly terrified. She kept screaming, begging Signal to go away because she was too dangerous to be so close. Hero tried to talk her down. She yelled that it was all her fault and she shouldn’t be saved.

Oh.

Woman had to just learn about her ability and lost control over it. Go big or go home, right? She didn’t exactly have home anymore so…

Dani barely kept herself from hysterical laughter.

Ghost fights were so, so much easier, she just had to beat the cause of the problem into submission and trap it in the thermos. No persuade it into stopping.

It was all too hot, too loud, too suffocating.

Dani could barely think.

Creaking of the ceiling boomed through her brain, somehow getting over the overwhelming cackle of fire that made her just want to hide in the corner and cry, even ignoring absolute onslaught to her other senses.

Ceiling was going to fall down and crush all of them.

Dani could barely think, so she didn’t.

She forgot to turn intangible when she crushed through window, meta woman held tightly in her arms. Thank Ancients she was durable enough to not break her head for that. Signal could handle himself. Hopefully.

Dani gasped on fresh air. She felt lightheaded, barely cognizant from instinctual relief to be out. She was free falling, her body limp, eyes half-closed, wind rushing in her ears and on her face. It was paralyzing but not in a bad way.

It felt good.

It felt like freedom.

It felt like something she could do for the rest of eternity.

It felt-

“HOOPOE!” panicked yell cut through her haze.

Right.

She was plummeting to the ground. She held someone. They would die when they crushed.

She should stop falling.

Could she do it? 

She had to.

She dropped off the blue haired woman with the nearest medic squad and ran. Or flew. She wasn’t quite sure. Her brain still didn’t feel right. But she knew she had to leave.

Next thing she knew was the pain from practically collapsing on a wall and dumpster she hid behind. From what, she had no idea. She had no idea about anything.

So she did only thing she still could.

Dani cried.

***

Duke was getting frantic in his search for Dani after that room collapsed. He knew she made it out, he saw her falling head first to the ground. He was trying to catch her but he knew he couldn’t do it on time. And then she caught herself, left Abigail with medics and flew away in a blur. And Duke couldn’t go right after her because some cop had questions. Duke did his best to wrap it up quickly but still by the time he could look Hoopoe was nowhere to be seen. He was straining his eyes trying to see any sign of her but other than the boy with her cape as a blanket there was nothing. He was tempted to ask Babs for help.

Scratch that, he didn’t have time to do this on his own. Pride and this stupid bet be damned. He turned on his comm, not bothering to go off the main channel.

“Oracle, I need you to search for white-haired preteen girl dressed in white and black. Somewhere near Rossaire street. Probably there will be no clear footage”

“Need help in search?” Steph chimed in gently “Spoiler can be there five minutes flat”

Duke considered it for a moment. Steph knew how Dani looked (as much as anyone who saw her only in photos could know how she looked) and wanted to meet girl anyway. She could be useful help. On the other hand, she mentioned before she had some important stuff. And he wasn’t sure how Dani would react to someone unknown finding her in this state. Last thing he wanted was scaring girl even more. He searched road for Dani’s past light, again.

“No, don’t worry. She just got a little overwhelmed”

“Alright, good luck with finding your kid then”

“She is not my kid!”

“Signal who-” Bruce grunted but got interrupted by Babs.

“Turn right, she entered blind zone but I can lead you there”

“Thanks O”

“No invisibility?” Steph mused.

“Thank God for that,” Duke answered, while grappling to the left. He shoot forward as fast as he could ”Or maybe not. She has to be quite out of it”

“Left again”

“Signal, who are you looking for?” Bruce asked again.

“Next alley to the right. It’s the last place I can see her”

“Thanks O.”

“Signal-”

“Later B.”

Duke landed in the alley, turning his comm off. He knew that sooner rather than later he would have to explain himself and would probably get endless teasing but it wasn’t important at the time. He searched again for past light. He run after glimpses. He stopped when he heard sniffle from behind a dumpster. He slowed down, approaching loudly. It wouldn’t do any good to scare her.

“Hoopoe?”

Her breath hitched. Duke sat down next to her far enough to not invide her personal space but close enough to make her feel not alone.

Her face was black from ashes and smoke other than where her mask was and cleaner tracks her tears were making.

Her mask was laying on a ground (clearly forcefully thorn off which ouch), cape obviously nowhere in sight. When she calmed down, he would ask what happened with it. It would probably be a good distraction. But not now.

“Hey kid. Can you try breathing a little slower for me?”

She mumbled something, inaudible between loud wheezing.

“I know it’s hard but I’m sure you can do it. Who if not you?”

Girl visibly tried, shifting around as if she tried to find some much needed comfort. Clearly, the lack of pressure her cape was giving her wasn’t helping.

“How about you try putting hand on my chest and matching my breathing? It often helps”

She moved her hand and he led it to his chest. Dani shuddered.

Slowly, telegraphing his movements Duke extended his arm and put it across Dani’s shoulders. Girl leaned into it with choked sobs.

“I know it was scary,” he muttered as she shook silently “You did so well, Dani”

Girl let out quiet, high-pitched whine that didn’t sound quite human, trapping him in the hug much stronger than child her age should manage. He rubbed her back gently.

They sat in silence, as girl relaxed a bit.

“I officially despise fires. Just not my vibes, y'know,” was the first thing she managed to say. Duke smiled, still trying to comfort her. He knew far too well what she was trying to do. He let her. Every hero needed to retreat to humor every once in a while. Majority of his family and associated vigilantes did it constantly.

“Right here with you”

She looked at him, searching for something on what little she could see on his face.

“You see more, don’t you?” she asked but didn’t wait for an answer “It was too much even with normal eyes. How can you be so calm?”

“I have normal ears and after fifth or tenth time it loses its charm”

“Yeah, okay,” she wheezed out “I didn’t expect the fire to be so loud. And smoke was a bit much in terms of texture and smell and everything”

“I would give you a mask if you waited, you know?”

He felt more than saw how she shrugged. It seemed like she wasn’t exactly listening to him anymore.

“But since you didn’t, we should get you looked up by some professional. You breathed in some nasty stuff”

Dani didn’t respond. Then she sprung up with gasp, a little out of his grasp, not standing but sitting straighter. She grinned, wide, eased thing gracing her lips as fresh tears began to create new paths on her dirty cheeks. She let out a choked laugh, more sign of relief or release of tension than actual happiness. It sounded rougher than usual, probably because of smoke and ashes aggravating her throat.

He wanted to ask what was up but it felt like the wrong time for it.

“He is breathing again” Dani cheered gently, as if unsure before repeating loudly, letting herself believe “THE BOY IS BREATHING AGAIN!”

Girl was shaking again, no bothering with drying tears this time.

Duke could guess what happened. He didn’t want to think about it too hard.

“It’s great to hear”

“Yup!” she grinned between fat tears.

They sat in silence as Dani gradually calmed down again. He knew she didn’t feel all that well yet, she couldn’t but she was probably calm enough to not break down in the middle of the BatBurger.

“I think this day counts as quite bad one,” girl said, wheezing a bit. Duke smiled, knowing where this was going. He ruffled her hair.

“Yeah, I think so too”

None of them said anything for a long moment.

“You’re up for a ‘bad day combo’ Gotham style, Hoopoe?”

“Yup” she smiled.

********

Apartment building: *is on fire*

Dani: It can't be that bad

Narrator voice: It was in fact, much worse

Kid, whose heart stopped thankfully didn't have too many issues tied to it and nothing life treatening long term. Every person who was in the building during fire left relatively unscathed. This fic is supposed to be mostly fluff I'm not killing anyone

Kid who got Dani's cape-blanket refused to phisically let go of it for solid two weeks. Later it still had to be in his sight. Understandable since his life went of the rails and did it hard. Kids ripe age of seven shouldn't be home alone. Especially not for whole day...

Dani: *still clearly shaken* Does your bad day combo include fries?

Duke, on his way to The "I had mental breakdown and need calories" Waffle Foodtrack: No, but we can change it!

Underpayed BatBurger employee: ...

Duke&Dani looking like they've just returned from war:...

Underpayed BatBurger employee: ...

Duke&Dani:...

Underpayed BatBurger employee: *deciding they don't have enough mental energy to care* Welcome to the BatBurger, can I take your bat-order?

Duke: One kids meal, please

Employee at The "I just had mental breakdown and need calories" Waffle Foodtrack, used to seeing Bats crying: *sees Hoopoe munching on her fries but in a sad way* Ah, babiest one got christened by fire already?

Employee: *takes out notebook to note down crazy combo this kid will come up with**they have every Gotham vigilante in here*

Dani: I haven't had a waffle ever before so maybe nuttella and whipped cream? I don't know, sweet?

Employee, offended: Let me surprise you.

It was great waffle, sweet enough to give sugar rush quite big group of preschoolers. It had marshmallows, sprinkles, whipped cream, jellybeans, whatever else this person on the mission found and could mix. Dani absolutely loved and devoured it.

I finally didn't forget to add read more!!!

I really want to draw Dani and Duke togheter but I can't find any pose references that satisfied me. Do you have any good ones? Can be chibi though preferably not

Next part

#dpxdc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dp x dc #dani hangs out with duke #signal got new sidekick and he cares about her deeply #no jokes for this part tags either #though I hope you had fun at Waffle Foodtruck #hoopoe's cape shock blanket #wandixx writes #ghost of fries and hero of cookies #have a nice day dear stranger who got to this part

[milesmolasses]

Not Ridin' on Consistency (Hobie x blk! reader)

AHHH ITS HEREEE

i’ve been wanting to write about hobie for the longest.

I finally got around to it!!

⚠️: takes place around midtown Manhattan (42nd St?), really bad British slang, mentions of red heads, theres a reference in here to my favorite place ever (if u find it, i'll give u a cookie)

"I'm walking on clouds right now, holy shit," you laughed to your close friends. Coming back from gigs at ragers and raves was becoming frequent for the small band we configured. Performing with a small group of friends that you've known since childhood felt like a crazy fever dream; like an "Oh my god there is no way this shit is real" type of fever dream.

Though the gigs you got were small and didn't draw much traction, the fact that there were people out there who enjoyed the type of music you put out there, especially within the black community, really brightened your spirits and only furthered the small band's hopes of one day being wildly known amongst the people.

"My god man, did you see that one girl at the bar ogling at Malcolm?" asked Marsh. They walked in front of the group, skipping as they turned their body to walk backward, now properly looking at you and Malcolm while still ahead.

"What the one with red hair?"

"Yes, bro! Jesus fucking Christ it was like she was undressing you with her eyeballs," said Marsh, hands covering their eyes for comedic effect. Marsh had a knack for knowing when and how people stare at their friends, it's like they can feel other people's eyes on you. If you ever wanted to know if a cute girl or your crush was staring at you, they'd be the one to know.

You threw your head back as you laughed and jabbed Malcolm in his side, telling him, "Yo, you better watch out my black brotha, don't wanna be snow bunnied!"

The Dr. Umar reference seemed to set Malcolm over the edge as he complained the rest of the walk to the train station. Sayings like "My red-head phase was over mad long ago," or "Ya'll never gon' let me live that phase down huh," and other deflections were all that was said the rest of the way to the station.

Upon your arrival at the station, the emergency exit was open with busy people hustling to go in and out of the station without having to pay. So with a small crowd of people, you and your guys went through the exit. One person, in particular, caught your eye amid the crowd of people; loud, statement black wicks and a leather jacket wrapped around his waist, probably removed because of how hot it was in the station, and a scuffed pair of well-worn doc martins to pull together his all-black fit. A beautiful dark skin shimmering with sweat in the crowd of people, and to go with that, the eyebrow and lip piercings he had really suited his hard face. Strapped around his body, was a guitar out in the open with no case. "No case on the guitar isn't crazy?" you thought to yourself.

"Hello??? Y/N are you still with us, we have a train to catch?"

You blinked as you realized where you were. It's not like you were in a trance, just in your own head for a while, admiring him... Huh, suppose he did put you in a trance. Looking at Marsh in front of you, you looked up a bit past their head to see the train schedules and when the train was coming. Reading the sign it said the next train would be there in three minutes. "We have time, c'mon," you said as you walked past Marsh to the staircase headed to the 6 train.

Marsh looked up at Malcolm, eyes wide and astonished, "Did I not just..."

"Never mind that, let's go," said Malcolm. Marsh watched as Malcolm followed you up the stairs absolutely dumbfounded.

"I'm not appreciated enough," March mumbled as they sighed.

As you walked along the platform, you looked around to sus out your surroundings deciding on where a good place to stand and wait for the train was. That's when you saw him again, leaning on a surface with his hands in his pockets staring off into space. Your head started to wander with thoughts of who this guy was, and if you should know him or not considering the guitar strapped around him. Thinking of every punk, alt, and rock group you knew, you just couldn't seem to draw a conclusion about who this guy was. Maybe he wasn't in a band, maybe he rocked solo.

You stood on the opposite end of him, looking back to see where your crew was. You saw them headed towards you from the staircase as you smiled and waved them over. They were pretty far in the distance so you lightly giggled to yourself as you watched them speed walk.

"Nice threads."

What you heard next to you, was a man with a deep, thick British accent, and Lord did it made you weak in the knees. You subtly leaned against the stature close to you and looked to see to where the voice was coming from though, you felt like you had a pretty good idea of who was talking to you.

"Who me?"

"Yeah you bruv, ain't no one else I could be talkin' to."

You raised an eyebrow and your nose flared looking at him; this British attitude he was taking up with you did not sit right with you at all. Before you could say something you heard the train rumble and the lights grow brighter as the train emerged from its tunnel.

Malcolm was the first to make it to you with Marsh not trailing far behind as he said, "There is no reason this platform needs to be so damn long! The train doesn't need all this space!"

You could barely hear him though, with the train closely approaching and the British dude still on your mind.

"Literally, I knocked my case into people trying to speed walk over here," said Marsh gesturing to her case and the people all the way down the platform.

The train slowly came to a stop as it squealed along the tracks. Walking on the train as the door opened, you and your crew walked to an open area near the door opposite to the ones you walked through. Leaning on the door with Malcolm in front of you, you looked to your left and saw him, the rocker dude who gave you attitude earlier. Ignoring him, you decided to pay attention to your friends surrounding you. However, it appeared Marsh had other plans.

"Hey man, you should probably get a case for that soon. Don't want it getting scuffed up," said Marsh as they peered at the British guy standing next to you.

"Yeah, I've been told. Thanks mate."

In such a packed train, it was hard to move around to get a better look at the dude, so Marsh peeked her head even further to continue to conversation further. "So you play with anyone orrr..." they said, voice dozing off on the last part.

"Uh-huh. Got some ol' chaps back in London who I play with. You lot play good tonight?"

He turned his head looking over at Malcolm seeing that he had a drumstick twirling between his fingers. "Yeah at this underground place on 42nd. Shit was wild man," said Malcolm as he reached his hand out to give the guy a fist bump.

I stayed silent during their small talk about punk rock and guitars and whatnot. I fiddled with the strap on my shoulder from my bass case trying to look forward and ignore the conversation.

As they smiled and laughed at some joke Malcolm made, Marsh peeked their head towards the mystery guy and asked "Yo what's your name again?"

"Hobie. Hobie Brown."

The train began to loosen up a bit as more people started getting off at their stops. More seats opened up so we sat down across from each other. Marsh and Malcolm sat on one end of the train and me and Hobie sat on the other side.

"You strum? What model?" he asked nodding down at my case.

"Not guitar, I play bass," I said not even looking up at him.

"Bare quiet. Feels like I'm under some quiet investigation– you won't even give me the time of day," he chuckled. You turned your head towards him as you scrunched your eyebrows at him.

"Ten minutes ago you were rude to me."

"You're exaggerating innit, I was only pointing out the obvious," he said raising his eyebrows and smiling as if he was all innocent. But really he was laughing at your sensitivity.

"Mandem over there was just telling me about how good you were during your show," he said, nodding to Marsh and Malcolm on the other side of the train. "Good lot they are you know?"

"Of course I know, they're my friends idiot," you said, smiling as you rolled your eyes.

"Now that's proper rude, only been two minutes and you're taking the piss out of me," he said, voice laced with sarcasm.

"I-I'm sorry- taking the WHAT out of you?!" Now it was your turn to laugh as you covered your mouth and lolled your head back, not able to control the laughter coming from you.

He sucked his teeth and smiled as he mumbled under his breath, "Americans."

"Hey, you're lucky I don't start coming for your dental institutions next," you said as you looked over at him and smiled.

Looking up at the impending stops you had left on the train, you recognized Malcolm's stop was next, so he would be getting off soon. Turning to look at Hobie still sitting, you stood up and asked him to put his guitar down to save your seat. "Are you mad-!?"

"Just for two seconds while I say bye to Malcolm," you said already standing up and walking two steps to where Malcolm was sitting.

When you walked up to him, he was grinning up at you with the fattest smile ever, already standing up from where he was sitting ready to get off the train. "He's cute-"

"Shut up and c'mere," you rolled your eyes as you hugged him close to you. "Today was good man, text me when you get home," you said.

"Of course," he smiled as he pulled away, blowing a kiss to Marsh still sitting down.

"Text me when he asks you out," was the last thing he said to you as he exited the train. Looking towards Marsh and taking the now empty seat next to them, you rolled your eyes as you complained about how unbelievable he was for saying that. What you didn't notice was that Marsh wasn't looking at you as you spoke to them, they were looking directly in front of them.

"You say all this now, but what if I told you he has been staring at you for the past few minutes?"

"What-" You looked away from Marsh to see Hobie looking right at you, guitar by his side still saving your seat. When he noticed you looking back, he smirked at you as he nodded his head.

Marsh gave you a knowing look as they elbowed your side, "What the hell are you still doing here? He's waiting for you!"

You sighed while smiling as you walked over to Hobie. He took his guitar from the seat and shuffled to cross it back around his torso.

"So here I am looking dizzy with a guitar sitting next to me while the peng girl who asked me to do this is chattin' up her mates," he said as his eye followed your body as you sat next to him.

"I don't know if that was meant to be a compliment or if you just insulted me," you joked.

"You didn't give me much of a choice innit. I never got your name," he smiled at you.

Your nose flared, but not in annoyance from him like last time, but in a more bashful sense. You smiled and lolled your head to the side as you chuckled, "Y/N."

"Nice name, it up for sale?"

You giggled as Hobie focused on the way your shirt slightly lifted as you brought your hand to your mouth. "You never really thanked me for the compliment I gave you. Death is a proper band y'know?" He was talking about the graphic tee you wore; a band you've known most of your life called "Death," was plastered across your shirt.

"Oh! You mean the compliment that followed up with you painting me out to be a fool right after? That compliment?" Sarcasm and attitude dripped in your tone and it was driving Hobie mad. He laughed as he stretched his long legs out, turning to look at you.

"I'm serious! I'd pay a tenner to meet someone who has even half the mind to look up black rock artists, and here you are in a t-shirt making my wildest dreams come true," he said looking up with his head turned to the side to look at you.

"Ever since I was young, Death was all I heard growing up. Mom was like this huge super fan and would always play their popular songs," your mind wandered off to your childhood. You thought about music blasting through the walls of your childhood home, while your mother bathed you. Her soft eyes contrasted the music she played loudly, lowly singing the lyrics and looking at you lovingly.

"I'm sorry for your loss mate.. must be tough," said Hobie genuinely.

"Oh god, she's not dead!" Your hands covered your face as you bent down laughing. "She just doesn't play them as often anymore!"

"Geez you were chattin' like she passed," Hobie laughed. He watched you laugh and the way your face creased as you smiled, leaning into him. You had the prettiest shiny tooth gem decorating your left canine, glittering in the soft train light. He paid attention to the way your locs flowed and swayed with you wherever your body we. It was almost hypnotizing as they framed your face perfectly.

"I'm gonna call you Bonnie. Okay, Bonnie?"

You lifted your head out of your hands and looked at him with eyebrows furrowed in confusion, still smiling. "Does Bonnie mean something in the British language?"

"Look it up American," he said rolling his eyes. The deep dimples on his face made you smile in delight. They went well with all the lines and creases in his face; "He must be living a happy life," you thought to yourself.

Hobie looked up to see how many stops he had left, which wasn't many. "I gotta get going soon, Bonnie," he said rubbing his hands together. Standing up and brushing his pants off, he looked up at you and said "Welp, I'm off for tonight."

"W-wait huh? Hol' up a sec-" you said as you got up after him to the train doors. Turning to look at you, he raised an eyebrow as a way of questioning you.

"You should at least get my number or something. Unless you leave all your girls hangin' and bangin'," you said smirking up at him.

He chuckled as he looked down at your stature, "Nuff of my "girls" would have figured out by now that I don't have a phone and knock me off for a wasteman."

"So it appears we've run into a little problem, hmm? How can I see you again if you're what the girls say, a wasteman," you questioned with a small glint of hope in your mischievous eyes, hoping that he would give you something, anything that hinted at where you could see him again.

"A loft in Brooklyn might be a good place to start.. "

It was then that the train came to a stop and the door opened. Just as he was about to step off the train, he looked back at you and said,

"But I wouldn't count on it, see, I'm not really ridin' on consistency."

RAHHHHHHH

shit took entirely too long to write

but very worth it <3

#hobie brown x reader #hobie x reader #hobie brown #across the spiderverse #into the spider verse #hobie x you #spider punk #spider punk x reader #spiderman #milesmolasses

[wannab-urs]

The Spreadsheet Digest | Vol 29

Howdy folks!

This is the final Spreadsheet Digest of 2023! I started the spreadsheet back in May as a way for me to keep up with everything I read. Basically, I was having trouble finding fics I had read so I could reread them or I was getting two chapters into a new series before realizing I'd already read it. So I did what I do and I made a spreadsheet about it. Then I felt like other people might benefit from a searchable list of fics. Then, and I don't know why, I thought people might want to know what I thought about the stuff I was reading. And here we are - 29 volumes and 34 weeks later.

Sorry for long intro! This week I have 16 fics for you (Frankie, Joel, Max Phillips, Javi P, Ezra, Dieter, Dave York, and Jack/Whiskey). Summaries and Tags provided by the author where applicable - sometimes I filled in some stuff.

You can find my masterlist here and all my fic recs here

Recs under the Pedro!

My Way - Frankie one shot by @goodwithcheese

Summary: Frankie's working on his truck... you interrupt him Tags: PIV Sex, Frankie uses his words, aka "you know he talks you through it," frankie is bossy Thoughts: if he uhhh "uses his words" this much in the series this is technically set in, I do believe I'll be reading that. This was HOT. Like absurdly hot. Lemme be you car girl, Frankie

Cocoon - Joel series by @secretelephanttattoo

Summary: A short ode to Joel's coat. / a bath with Joel Tags: Angst and intimacy. 1 reference to blood and allusion to canon typical violence (nothing is described) Thoughts: God i love little intimate moments like this... wrapping yourself up in Joel's coat, washing the bad day out of his curls... I am SICK! Someone let me hold this man, please.

I'll Leave a Light On For You - Max Phillips one shot by @oonajaeadira

Summary: Max has reservations when it comes to love, and for very good reasons. Tags: Angst. Character death. Allusions to the atrocities of war and its lasting effects. Max is a vampire. Traumatic soul memory. Me assuming I know anything about French culture of the 1930s. Thoughts: This is beautiful. Just absolutely stunning. I have a fascination with the concept of past lives, and I adore the way it's written about it here. There are some really interesting takes on it here with Max being a vampire. Also, side note, this fic made me cry. It's that soft angst that you don't expect to make you sob, but holy shit. When it hit (you'll know it when you read it) it hit. I was devastated. And then because it's adira and "we do soft here" it ends sweet.

Once in a Blue Moon - Dieter one shot by @whatsnewalycat

Summary: You're the only person working when a Christmas blizzard rolls into town and snows you in with a notoriously difficult guest, Dieter Bravo. Tags: one shot, slight dub con elements (power imbalance, isolation, alcohol) although both parties are enthusiastically consenting, hotel guest x hotel staff, blizzard, Minnesota because that’s my best friend, dieter generally being an ‘if you give a mouse a cookie’ ass bitch, kinda enemies to lovers???, Christmas, loneliness, palm reading, food and eating, cannabis, conspiracy theory mention, fluuuuuufffff, smut, dirty talk, a dash of conflict, painting stuff, power outage, poverty mention Thoughts: Aly has this way of writing Dieter that is like she knows him in real life. He feels so personal and real to me in her stories. I think I say this every time I talk about her fics, but my Dieter would not exist without hers. Anyway -- this fic is wonderful. Dieter has all that silly druggie boy charm he always has, there's a really interesting inclusion of him having PTSD from working on the movie from The Bubble and a really interesting way that he's dealing with it. It's got perfect vibes for us christmas haters too. I loved this so much.

Jingle Balls / Dashing through the ho - Frankie series by @idolatrybarbie

Summary: Santa Frankie porn... that's it. That's the fic Tags: santa kink???, cockwarming, cum, like so much cum, unprotected vaginal sex, unethical use of a mall Santa Village, semi-public sex, dirty talk and pet names, mentions of free use. / santa kink again, free use, spreader bar, creampie, come eating, facefucking, throatpie, anal sex, degradation, cum, pet names (honey, little girl, sweet girl, baby), praise, CUM AGAIN GUYS LIKE IDK WHAT HAPPENED HERE. Thoughts: This is mostly my fault and I refuse to apologize for it

Galletita - Javi P one shot by @gasolinerainbowpuddles

Summary: Your sister and brother-in-law have enlisted your help with their small business while they await the birth of their first baby. You help with the cafe and find yourself face to face with a new customer whose appetite might have met its match in you. Tags: big boi Javi P is hungry and a little cranky, you like to bake and Javi likes to eat, belly kink, feeding kink, probably bad Spanish, we’re playing fast and loose with timelines, canon, and everything in general, so just forget about timey wimey boo boo wah wah and enjoy the story lmao Thoughts: I do, in fact, need a big boy

Devour - Ezra one shot by @frannyzooey

Summary: Falling for Ezra on the Green Tags: harvesting violence, mentions of gore and blood, mentions of cannibalism, love as consumption and all the visuals that come with it, so much fucking and filth and ass play and cum eating it isn’t funny Thoughts: It was a gift for me, so I really probably should not be so amazed by how much I love this fic. But oh my god, dude. Love as consumption, freak nasty smut, Ezra being Ezra, bi!Ez, the Din/Ez hints (I'd like to know more about that), it's all perfect. I will never stop being obsessed with this

Tear You Apart - Dieter one shot by @psychedelic-ink

Summary: it's the 70s and your friend invites you to an underground club where one of your favorite musicians is playing: dieter bravo. Tags: innocence kink, mild corruption kink, backstage sex, piv, dirty talk, weed, oral + handjob (male receiving)obsessed with rockstar Dieter. Thoughts: I'm surprised I haven't seen more rockstar Dieter. This was hot, filthy, and just... in the words of the man himself perfect.

One Man Show - Dieter one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Summary: Dieter gets himself off! Tags: male masturbation, use of sex toys, anal fingering, butt plug, sex tape??? i guess Thoughts: I'm loving this solo session concept so much. Dieter filming himself!!! for no reason!!! is so hot. Everything about this is so fucking hot. I want him to send me that video...

I am a nightmare, you are a miracle - Joel series by @party-hearses

Summary: After your two year relationship with Tommy Miller ends, Joel takes you in — and it’s home like you’ve never quite known before. Tags: slow burn, explicit (eventual) smut, language, infidelity, alcohol, age difference, soft!joel, no cordyceps outbreak, sarah doesn’t exist (sorry), tommy stans don’t come for me. Thoughts: I have been very intentionally not reading WIPs and waiting for them to be finished, but I fucked up. I was scrolling the dash and frannyzooey recc'd this and it caught my eye and I just didn't even check if it was finished. But I regret nothing. Ch 4 is coming soon, I'm manifesting it. I fucking love Joel in this and I'm super intrigued by reader's uhhhh mommy issues and the way that those manifest.

MASTERLIST BINGE INCOMING | @brandyllyn

To sell your love for peace - Javi P series by @brandyllyn

Summary: You are Javier’s newest informant. You’re not his usual type but he’s willing to make an exception. More than one. Tags: smut, sex work, canon typical violence, javi being a moron Thoughts: I adore a lovers to idiots to lovers story... and man is Javi an idiot. The characterization of Javi here is perfect. Protective!Javi is very canon and I love seeing it in fic. Also, I don't normally go for miscommunication tropes (they tend to annoy me) but this was perfect. I loved every second of this story.

The Serpent Under It - Dave York one shot by brandyllyn

Summary: Dave is very good at his job Tags: Canon typical violence. kinda dark yo, soulmate AU Thoughts: I don't typically read soulmate AUs, but I actually read several of brandyllyn's this week. They're very different from the normal trope. This one broke my heart and it's less than 800 words.

To perish twice - Javi P series by brandyllyn

Summary: You can feel when your soulmate comes. Tags: smut, soulmate AU, Javi being an idiot, male masturbation, piv sex Thoughts: This is what I mean... you can feel when your soulmate has a fuckin orgasm??? What a concept. This was really hot, kind of funny, and had just the right amount of angst.

Cross My Heart - Ezra one shot by brandyllyn

Summary: While waiting at a clinic for the hope of a prosthetic arm, Ezra meets a woman who will change his life Tags: Talk of self harm / suicide but no one does it, discussion of medical procedures and prostheses, some use of ability based slurs by Ezra and others, canon typical violence Thoughts: We love a man who will threaten to murder someone's entire family for you... no seriously. I absolutely love Ezra's characterization here and I love the FMC's story AHHH. It's just a very sweet story... with a little Ezra flair.

Into the Shade - Ezra series by brandyllyn

Summary: Why would anyone fake having a soulmate? Tags: Ezra being Ezra, con man!ezra, soulmate AU, smut, Ezra x OFC smut, Ezra x reader is in there though. Thoughts: Yet again, the typical soulmate concept has been turned on its head here, and I love it. I also adore the flores animae - the particular soulmate mechanic in this fic. It's really interesting!

Dreams are Sweet Until They're Not - Jack Daniels series by brandyllyn

Summary: A crimson rose could only mean one thing. Tags: soulmates au, Jack being a slut, angst, smut, happy ending Thoughts: Okay last soulmates AU on the list, sorry. I went a little nuts. They're just so good. The ending of this one was so sweet, dude.

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My fics this week:

Something Sweet - Javi p x reader - You’re new to the team in Colombia and all alone on your birthday. Your partner, Javier Peña, decides to do something sweet for you. (fluff, smut)

Under Your Skin - jack daniels x javi p x reader - You’ve worked on Chucho’s ranch since you were 15 years old, grew up with Javi, loved Javi… He comes back after nearly 20 years to find you hooking up with a certain former secret agent. He’s jealous, for sure, but of who? (smut)

in the a.m. - javi p x reader - Between sleeping with informants and getting in bed with Los Pepes in the fight to bring down Escobar, Javier Peña also finds time to be with you. Wrestling with crippling self hatred, Javi tries and fails to keep his blood stained hands off of you. Based on some of my favorite Arctic Monkeys songs (smut, angst)

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Happy Reading!

#fic recs #the spreadsheet digest #fanfiction recommendations #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro fics #pedro pascal character fanfiction

[snakeeyesdraws]

Overly Analyzing Fortune Street character dialogue (Mario and Luigi)

So I've spent a lot of time browsing Mario wiki pages (organized easy to read information about a current hyperfixation makes for great destressing material) and one of the pages I've been really into is the quotes from Fortune Street (2011)! I've been thinking about talking about and discussing some of the character dialogue from it, since some of them actually have some fun character tidbits, and after seeing this post from pianokantzart (please go check out their stuff!) I decided to go ahead and do so!

Today we'll be focusing on Mario and Luigi's dialogue, and dialogue that involves them! If you would like to view these quotes for yourself, you can do so here and on the character's quote pages. I'll mainly just be highlighting some of the fun ones under the cut!

Mario

"Brr! This ship gives me the creeps! Best to win fast so I don't have to hang out here too long!" (The Ghost Ship)

This is an area-specific dialogue line for the Ghost Ship, and I find the implication that Mario is a bit creeped out by ghosts/haunted places, seeing as Boos/ghosts are an enemy that have notably defeated him numerous times via the Luigi's Mansion series.

"Wow! What a fancy palace! But I still think Peach's Castle is the best…" (Castle Trodain) "Ha ha! I'm gonna do well here. Peach's Castle is like a second home to me!" (Peach's Castle)

Simple but cute!! He thinks of Peach's Castle as a second home and feels safe there!! This is extremely important to me

"Dooo-doo-doo-doo-doo-dooooo! Hey, I love this tune!" (Super Mario Bros.) "Doooo--doo-doo doo-doo-doo! That sure is a catchy tune I've got stuck in my head! Oh, sorry, is it my turn already?"

He also really loves the Super Mario Bros. theme! The theme that is associated most with him and Luigi ;w; I like to imagine he hums its to himself whenever he's working

To Yoshi: "I'll help you find your cookies, Yoshi - just give me a second to brush these cookie crumbs out of my mustache!" Yoshi to player: "Yoshi! Yoshi! (Nice job on that promotion, (player's name)! Here, have some cookies to celebrate!)" Mario's response: "Why no cookies for Mario? Can't I have just one?"

There's also a running theme of him wanting Yoshi's cookies which I think is so funny. The Legendary Hero of the Mushroom Kingdom cannot turn up a tasty snack. Some people seem to push back against the idea that Mario enjoys eating?? But I think it's such a cute characteristic of his (and the fact that he basically admits to Yoshi's face that he swiped his cookies jsadjkkdlsa)

"Not to look a gift Yoshi in the mouth, but I was hoping for more coins..."

Mostly highlighting this one for the substation of "horse" with "Yoshi" in this quote. Fun little world building tidbit of Yoshi's being the Mushroom Kingdom's horses.

After player warps: "Ever get a stomachache when you warp, (player's name)? That happens to me sometimes!"

Even though he presumably uses the warp pipes all the time? Interesting... (side note but because I'm movie brain pilled, you could potentially read into it more here for that verse 👀)

After landing on a Take-a-break square: "Heroes never take the day off! What am I supposed to do with myself - go to the beach?"

Bro that is not a good mindset let yourself take vacations!

"Thank you for your patronage! You're very generous, (player's name)... Just like me!"

There's a lot of playful lines like this from Mario, I like when we get to see his competitive side and how he has a teeny bit of an ego (he's still overall humble and kind, but he knows he's the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom)

After player buying his circus tent: "I can't believe you took over my circus, (player's name)! Didn't you like my fireball show?"

FIREBALL SHOW???? HE PUTS ON A FIREBALL SHOW????? I am desperate for any crumbs of reference to Firebrand (even though he likely used a Fire Flower for this but still)

To Luigi: "Hey Luigi! Stick with me, Bro, and we'll win this one together!" Luigi's response: "You got it, Mario! We'll show (player's name) some real Mario Bros. teamwork!"

To player: "Nice work, (player's name)! But Luigi and I aren't going to give up quite yet!" Luigi's response: "Right you are! The Mario Bros. are just getting warmed up!"

THEM........ 🥺💖 WE LOVE TO SEE THEM WORKING TOGETHER

To player: "Psst! Hey, (player's name)! Princess Peach is watching, so I'm afraid I just can't lose to you today!" Peach's response: "Mario, I heard that! But don't you worry - I'm the one who's going to win!"

Dude is SMITTEN for Peach and it shows. He wants to impress her! I do like that we get to see that Peach is also competitive and playfully rolls with it

To player: "Keep going, (player's name)! It's way too early to give up!" Peach's response: "Hey, Mario-what gives? You seem like you're more concerned about (player's name) than you are about me!"

That said, Peach clearly likes having his attention on her LMAO it reminds me of the scene in Paper Jam where M&L Peach visibly got a bit jealous of Mario getting blushy and flustered over Paper Peach

Bowser to player: "You're in luck! If you beat me, you automatically get to become one of my minions! That's the law around here!" Mario's response: "Don't listen to him, (player's name)! I've beaten him a million times, and I'm no minion!"

Almost all of Bowser's quotes that invoke a response from Mario play out like this; Bowser provokes or taunts the player and Mario immediately snaps back or defends the player. It's fun to see a version of their rivalry here, albeit one in a much more relaxed and lower stakes setting. They will get extremely competitive even when it's just a game for fun

Bowser Jr. to player: "You're just being a big show-off, (player's name)! I'm NOT impressed!" Mario's response: "Don't be jealous, Bowser Jr.! Sure, (player's name) is doing great - but you're not doing bad yourself! Try to stay focused!"

While Mario will do the same if Junior taunts the player, here we can see him being encouraging towards him. It's a cute little moment! I feel like Bowser's Fury enjoyers will like this quote lol

Peach to Mario: "Hmph! Why does (player's name) have all the luck? Mario! I order you to go out and gather me some gold coins!" Mario's response: "Sure thing, Princess Peach! But, umm..how?"

I mean it when I say dude is smitten. One order from the princess and he's ready to drop his competitive streak to go fetch some coins for her LMAO

Toad to player: "I'm impressed with your business acumen, (player's name)! I wish I was more like you… Mario's response: "You can be, Toad! Just keep up the hard work!"

Friendship between Mario and Toad can be so personal, actually... and more encouraging and sweet Mario! Never forget that this man is kind and caring before anything else

To Birdo: "Ouch! Birdo, you're charging me an arm and a mustache! That's precious gold I'm never going to see again!"

AN ARM AND A MUSTACHE HE SAYS............ this man is a DORK

To Bowser Jr.: "I'm surprised you're charging folks so much to shop here, Bowser Jr. ! Just like your daddy, you are!" To Bowser Jr.: "Bowser Jr.! You're just like your daddy. Always getting in my way!"

He'll be encouraging and overall gentler with Junior, but it doesn't change that fact that Junior still gets in his way a lot JADSKK

To Donkey Kong: "Hey, Donkey Kong! Would you mind if I paid you in bananas? Ha ha ha! Oh, I bet you get that joke all the time!" To Donkey Kong: "You sure know how to roll that die, Donkey Kong! Almost as well as you roll a barrel!"

oh my god he's so obnoxious sometimes you KNOW this man is telling dad jokes even if he's not a father. And it's a small hint towards the DK and Mario rivalry that started in the old games!

To Luigi: "Oh, Luigi! Can't you give me a special discount or something? I thought we were the bestest of buddies!"

the bestest of buddies I could cry.... it's a very sweet sentiment, even though clearly it's said in a bit of teasing tone here. I now HC that Mario calls Luigi his bestest buddy whenever he wants something from him

To Peach: "Looks like I need to start picking some flowers for your victory bouquet, Princess Peach!"

THIS. MAN. IS. SMITTEN.

To Waluigi: "I hate to fraternize with my brother's nemesis, but it looks like we're going to have to work together! Let's swap shops, Waluigi!" To Waluigi: "What!? Waluigi's about to win!? I don't think Luigi is going to be too happy about that…"

Interestingly, we get to see the Waluigi / Luigi rivalry acknowledged by someone outside of them. I do like the implication that out of principal, Mario avoids anyone who has beef with Luigi.

Luigi

”Eek! No one told me there would be gh-gh-ghosts here! I wish I'd brought my Poltergust 3000 with me.” (The Ghost Ship)

LUIGI'S MANSION REFERENCE!! An obvious one, but it makes me happy whenever it's referenced regardless

"Leaping lasagna! This place is even bigger than Peach's Castle!" (Castle Trodain) "This place is wackadoodle! It's turning my brain into spaghetti!" (Good Egg Galaxy)

HE DID IT HE SAID THE FOOD JOKE THINGS!!!!

"Looks like my bro really cleaned this place up! I hope they gave him the key to the city!" (Delfino Plaza)

this one is just, so pure and cute???? supportive Luigi confirmed??

To player: "Hey, (player's name)! I'm Luigi! Oh, you've heard of me? I'm so flattered I think I'm blushing!"

This is also so cute and a bit sad - he thinks it's amazing that someone has heard of him enough to know his name outside of just "Mario's little brother"

"This game has got my mustache all mussed up! Where's my little comb?"

Implying he carries a comb with him specifically for brushing and cleaning up his mustache! Which makes total sense, considering these other lines of dialogue from him;

"I take a quick time-out to trim my mustache, and someone buys up almost all the shops! What gives?" "Ack! One shop left? All I did was take a minute to trim my sideburns… I need to stop doing that!" "Who bought up all the shops? Guess I was too busy grooming the 'stache to pay attention to the game…"

A lot of people interpret Luigi as very neat and tidy and almost obsessively keeps himself cleaned, and this dialogue most certainly solidifies that! People pointed out in the recent film that Luigi's hair is also a lot neater than Mario's, which lends to this idea. Apparently more than once he's been so focused on grooming his mustache and hair that he's missed something important lol

"It's not so bad being in second place. As a matter of fact, it feels just right! I wonder why that is…"

Ohhhh buddy,,,,,, the eternal player 2 mood LOL

"One day I'm gonna dominate this district. Then everyone will see who's the real brains behind The Mario Bros.!"

JDSJKASDLDASKLA this is such a sibling quote. Though it is interesting considering many people consider Luigi the more strategic of the two

After player lands on a Take-a-break square: "You've been working so hard lately, (player's name). Promise me you'll take it easy on your day off!"

A lot of characters will gleefully remark that they can advance while you're on a day off when you land on a Take-a-break square, but Luigi seems to genuinely want you to take it easy and I think that's neat

To player: "Did Mario teach you to play this game, (player's name)? 'Cause you've definitely got some sweet moves, just like him!"

CUUUUUUUUUUTE Luigi thinks the world of his brother, so of course if you impress him, he will compare you to him!

After player builds a tax office: "Built yourself a tax office, (player's name)? That was a calculated move! Ha ha ha ha!"

"You got any hobbies, (player's name)? I'm into lots of things: golf, tennis, basketball, beating you at this game…"

DORK I am going to lovingly push him into a locker. This was the blueprint for "You just got a-Luigi'd!"

After building an estate agency: "I bet Princess Daisy'd be really impressed if I owned a few more shops! Help me out, estate agency!"

One of the most favourite moments for Luigi/Daisy enjoyers. Because it really is cute! He just wants to impress her!

Going bankrupt: "Bankrupt!? I'm gonna get laughed right out of the Mushroom Kingdom!"

highlighting this one just because every time I read it all I can think of is "they're beating my ass in the QRTs"

Daisy to player: "If you win, (player's name), maybe I'll invite you on an all-expenses-paid vacation to Sarasaland!" Luigi's response: "Wow, what a prize, (player's name)! I wish I was in your shoes!" Daisy to player: "Yay! You got your salary, (player's name)! I guess that means you'll drop by my shop soon, right?" Luigi's response: "Wow, Princess Daisy! You're good…"

THIS. MAN. IS. ALSO. SMITTEN. I find it so funny that both Mario and Luigi are so head over heels for their respective princess GFs.

Waluigi to player: "Hope you're comfortable in last place, (player's name), 'cause that's where you belong!" Luigi's response: "Knock it off, Waluigi! I'm pretty sure you're the one who belongs in last place!" Waluigi: "Luigi, (player's name)… Is there anyone they DON'T let into this thing?" Luigi's response: "Ha ha! You're one to talk, Waluigi! How did YOU get on the guest list?"

LUIGI, KILL!!!!

More of the Waluigi / Luigi rivalry, and it's interesting to see someone who is usually more timid and soft spoken like Luigi be so confrontational and angry addressing someone who is clearly getting on his nerves. Waluigi seems to be one of the few people who can really push his buttons like that.

Mario to player: "Nice job, (player's name)! You're a real hero - just like Mario!" Luigi's response: "I wish Mario would call me a hero sometime…"

The post I linked before delves a bit more into this, but Luigi has a couple of dialogue lines about wishing Mario would think more highly of him. It doesn't come across as out of spite or disdain; it just reads as a younger sibling wishing he could impress his big brother who he looks up to. But as we all know, Mario clearly thinks the world of Luigi and he even shows it in this game;

Mario to Luigi: "Great job, Bro! Ha ha! You're my hero!"

They care about each other and I will hear NO arguments.

#snake talks #smb #mario #luigi #I surprisingly think I had a lot more to say about Mario than luigi here LOL but this was fun to do! #Mario analysis #fortune street

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🧑‍⚕️ for Chris! Cookie treat:

🍪

CW: BBU, sickfic, ableism from Luke Petrus, general Luke Petrus warning, minor whump (OC is 17), brief implied noncon references

-

"What the heck did you do now, Petrus?" The doctor - barely out of med school, still young and learning the twists and turns of the Facility's labyrinth of hallways - sighs. He's been here barely a year, and already learned that Luke Petrus has a reputation for quick turnarounds because he runs his trainees into the ground. Metaphorically speaking.

His trainees aren't generally allowed to actually run much of anywhere at all. Or get out of bed.

Petrus rolls his eyes, crossing his arms. "Nothing. He was being a little shit this morning, breaking all his rules. I checked and his forehead was hot, so I brought him in here."

"Well... at least you didn't OD him again."

"That was one time, and he should have been fine, it's not my fault his body metabolizes the drugs wrong-"

"Maybe don't use our freaking supplies without speaking to a doctor first to make sure next time?" Dr. Ross glances into the exam through through the window cut into the door.

The trainee lays on his back on the exam table, staring listlessly up towards the flickering florescent lights overhead. His hands are moving, constantly crushing the crinkling paper beneath him or touching himself at the throat, the collarbone, the stomach. He's humming, audible through the door. A toneless, tuneless ah ah ah ah through barely open lips.

"Okay, well. I'll take a look. Any specific complaints other than the fever?"

"Clammy as fuck, coughing, sneezing... all that shit. Complained about his food, earlier, and I know he knows better than that." Petrus narrows his eyes, and Dr. Ross tries not to feel a shiver down his own spine. "He better be burning hot enough to hallucinate or he is going to fucking regret talking shit to me about the food."

Dr. Ross pauses. "The food is pretty legendarily... um, crap, though," He points out. The look Petrus gives him is so derisive he can all but feel it eat into him like acid. "I'll take a look. Probably he'll need an overnight in the clinic."

"I only have a few weeks left to finish him up. So you get him able to take training tomorrow night, got it?"

"I can't promise-"

"This one is going to a personal friend of Karen Renford's," Petrus says in a low voice. "A personal. friend. Got it?"

Dr. Ross swallows, trying not to look unnerved. "Got it."

"Good. Message me once he's good to go back, I'm going to head home for a few hours. If he's faking this..."

"Handler Petrus. How exactly would he fake a fever?" Dr. Ross looks into the exam room again. The trainee is still humming, watching his own fingers as he moves them between himself and the light. His skin is pale, a little grayish. His freckles stand out like paint splatters all over his body.

"Wouldn't put it past him. Trainees figure out all kinds of shit. Get him better and get him to stop doing that... Shit with his hands, making those noises. Punish him if he keeps it up, it's part of his training plan."

"Hm," Dr. Ross says, noncommittal. "I'll send his test results over in a bit. Enjoy your time at home."

He steps inside just to end the conversation, walking idly over to a countertop, where he opens a cupboard above and pulls out a small canister of lollipops. "Hello, 223499."

The boy's voice cuts off like a radio. After a pause, he starts mumbling, too low for Dr. Ross to hear.

"... right. Well. Your handler says you're feeling under the weather. Mind if I take a look?"

The trainee turns his head then. He looks somewhere off to one side of the doctor, blinking a little dazedly. "... take a look?"

His voice is slow, sluggish, but each word is so carefully placed.

"Yes."

The trainee looks away again. Dr. Ross sighs and goes with it, checking his temperature. 101.7, not great, not the worst fever. Hopefully this won't be another flu like the last one. Pneumonia nearly killed three trainees that time. He checked ears, eyes - pupils reactive, ears clear - and then touched at the lymph nodes beneath his jaw. A little swollen.

"Okay. Next up, we need to take a quick look down your throat."

Another slow blink. The trainee seemed to suddenly tense up. "You... want my throat?"

"Uh, well-" Dr. Ross turns away to pick up a tongue depressor and the swab for the test. "Yes, we need to test you."

The paper on the exam table crinkles again. The boy hums, almost wistfully, and then goes silent.

When he turns around, Dr. Ross discovers the boy on his knees in a seamless Position Two, mouth wide open.

His green eyes are empty, somewhere far away.

Dr. Ross's face burns at the sight. His stomach turns sharply, and he has to clear his throat to try and cover the way bile rises. "Uh, n-no thank you-... I just need... you need to be tested for strep throat, Trainee, not that kind of-... back up on the table, please-"

The boy looks confused, in a faded sort of way, but follows orders. He manages to clamber back up, sitting this time, listing a little to one side, then the other. But he opens his mouth again, and Dr. Ross hurries through the test as fast as he can, trying not to think about how most people gag during the strep test, but the Romantics never do.

"Good, made it. Perfect. Now, does your throat hurt a lot today?"

"Yes, sir." The boy's voice is a little raspy, now that he's talking. "A... lot. Earlier, i... cried when my... handler-"

"Don't need to hear the end of that sentence!" Dr. Ross forces false charm and ease into his voice, plucking one of the lollipops at random from the jar. "Here, let me give you this. It tastes a little weird, but it'll numb your throat and keep you from coughing." He unwraps it and holds it out. The trainee blinks at him. He blinks back.

Then he realizes. "... oh. Do you have to be... do I have to..." He leans forward. The trainee opens his mouth obediently for Dr. Ross to place the lollipop inside. Only then does his mouth close.

"'ank 'oo, ir," The trainee says around a mouthful of fake sweetener and the numbing agent already going to work. His eyes are so sweet and so vivid, and he half-smiles around the treat.

"You're welcome, 223499. I'm going to go and do your strep test. I'll be back. You just relax, okay? You can sleep in a clinic bed and get a good night's sleep."

The boy's eyebrows furrow. "Is... is it night?"

"Oh right. We're not supposed to let you know, are we? Well... I don't think it can hurt... yeah, I'm on nights right now, 11 to 9. It's about one in the morning."

"Oh." The trainee lays slowly back down, on his side, closing his eyes as he works at the sucker. "... what, what does night... look, um, look like?"

Dr. Ross swallows.

He's a fucking coward, but he doesn't answer. He just leaves, and he doesn't let himself stop and look back.

He doesn't let himself think about a boy who can't remember the sky.

God, he only has a few weeks left on this residency and he just isn't sure he can make it.

#223499 #chris the strawberry blond romantic #whump #bbu #pet whump #box boy universe #box boy #medical whump #caretaker whumper #luke petrus is a piece of garbage #ableism tw #reluctant whumper #sickfic #sick whumpee #sick whump

[teaboot]

Your post about art vs content got me thinking about the differences between the two. To me there is no difference besides the mindsets. One is of creator and the enjoyer, the other is content and consumer it removes the personhood, the joy/emotion, from the equation. Like a writer or video creator may not see their work as art so content creator maybe a way to refer to themselves comfortably but it sounds so machine, emotionless and lifeless, like a cookie cutter recipe mass producing something verses people lovingly crafting something...then again Disney uses a cookie cutter recipe for the most part and it brings out bangers cause people lovingly make it their own so maybe I'm thinking too hard on this

Does my long-winded rant make sense?

see, I get what you mean, but I still feel like the willingness to entertain calling art of any kind "content" reduces it to the facet of consumption where in reality, the experience of consuming art is not the sole defining trait of it.

Reducing arts like music, writing, painting, dance, voice acting, theater, etc. to the role of "content"- a thing created to be consumed, measured and valued by how pleasant or easy it is to digest- I feel that it was our biggest red flag to herald the incoming tide of AI "art".

Because if art is "content", if arts are nothing but consumable matter, then obviously the key to success is to produce as much soft, tasty, edible paste as we possibly can at the lowest possible expense.

It's the same issue I have with "meal replacements", diet culture, nutrient slurries, twenty-step skincare routines, 24/7 body padding and shapewear and laxative teas and "grind culture". It's not a cause, but a symptom, of the disease that is late-stage capitalism.

Things must be produced at low cost and remain in high demand forever. Things must be perfect and palatable and the new hit trend forever. People must pay hand over fist to consume without asking anything in return, and if they start dropping like flies at the unending unrewarded thankless demand of it all, then that must be treated as a weakness. We should all take pride in how much we can spend, pay, give, produce, and think as little as possible about what we ask for ourselves.

So, who cares if, of two identical paintings, one was made by a person and one was made by a computer program? It's the same work, so what does it matter? What does it matter?

I am an artist. I make art. I ask a question, make a statement, declare something horrific or challenging or upsetting or wrong or grotesque, and when you respond, we are together experiencing a conversation. We are existing, two people living one life and reaching out and touching across time and space. No matter the work, you're at the barest minimum saying, "I'm alive, and you're alive, and at one time or another we shared this same world, and at the end of the day we aren't too terribly different. My heart is worth sharing, and your heart is worth the struggle of understanding."

An AI-generated piece, a computer-generated voice, a CGI puppet of someone long since dead and gone, they cannot speak. They have no voice. Ay best, they are the most chewable, consumable, landlord-beige common denominator possible that you can sit and listen to like the lone survivor of a shipwreck listening to the same three songs on a broken record, and at worst, they're the uncaring vomit of an empty, unloving, value-addled hack wearing the skin of someone I know over their own.

When you abandon art to say that you make content, that should not be a point of pride. That's an embarrassment. That's not sitting down for an intelligent discussion with an equal, that's kneeling at the feet of the crowd and saying, "what do you want to see me do? I can be anyone you've ever loved. I can be them, I can be anyone, as long as you love me."

I can make content. I can be consumed. What do you want to consume? I'll make myself consumable. I'll make myself just like anything you like. And I'll make so much of it that you'll never have to go anywhere else, because it'll all be right here, and under all the cut-and-paste schlock you've seen before I will sit alone in the dark and the silence and I will know that I am safe, because I am valued, because I am desired, and I need to be desired or else I am worthless like a factory that no longer churns out steel or a hen that no longer lays eggs or a cow that is too old to make milk.

Content, the most literal meaning, is something which is contained inside a container. What it is doesn't really matter, and the best it can hope to be is something worthy of being scooped out and used.

Art is an experience that transcends value. Art is something you can eat without paying for. You can make it out of anything and anyone can do it. It can be crude and vulgar and bad, and that's a strength because it means something. It always, always means something, and it doesn't matter if you like it or not. It's not content because it doesn't fill anything. It's a living, breathing thing, and whether you want to birth it or eat it, then you're going to have to be willing to put the fucking work in

#I want to apologize but I'm not going to #This is important to me #I do not want to create content #I do not want to be universally loved #I do not want my existence to revolve around being used #I'm not a machine I'm a person and I'll do what makes me happy #Even if that isn't good or useful #I don't want to be pretty I want to be alive #Don't look at me #I'm breathing #I'm screaming #I'm ugly and sharp and painful to hold #And that is not a bad thing #To come back to

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 3x8, Let The Games Begin. Part 5 (Richard Gilmore Has A Slutty Past)

Heh, they did the thing where they say the title of the episode inside the episode again.

Goody. Our fearsome foursome is off to Yale. *drinks heavily* Emily won't allow Lorelai to bring a sealed thermos of coffee into the car. Frankly I hope Lorelai spills it on her lap and gets a mild scald. It would humble her. Ya know, It's never stated whether Lorelai has alcohol or coffee in the mug, just that Emily is adamant she can't drink liquids in a vehicle. Frankly, I would understand Lorelai's need to self medicate with booze at 9am before a road trip with her parents, but on the other hand, as I stated earlier. She also didn't have to come. She could be home playing Hide the Cocktail Sausage with Dean. We could skip to the part where Rory and Jess smooch at the gas station. Never fear. The next scene that follows, the calm before yet another storm, if you will, turned out to be a highly entertaining and enjoyable romp for me. Enter: Richard Gilmore The Man Whore.

After having already toured Harvard a year ago, Lorelai is still in awe over how many freaking geeks attend large universities. Richard: I spent a lot of time in the Yale art gallery. Emily: I'll say you did. Richard: What is that supposed to mean? Uh oh. Huh. Was this art gallery some kind of idk, hub of intellectual and artistic curiosity slash whorehouse where a young man could go to find sexually liberated artistic chicks for easy pickings? But like, in the 50's? What a concept.

Jess would kick his own ass if they called it that.

Richard GIlmore, you dog.

(you have to imagine Jess is feigning interest/ knowledge in the penis octopus portrait to a young lady or perhaps another bicurious young man and not his uncle) Emily: He was the master of the "Frown, step back, wrinkle, and sigh" Okay, my curiosity is piqued. You got me. Please explain?

Knowing Richard Gilmore was such a skankbag in college just like Jess is the gift I didn't know I needed today. Jess can do the frown, wrinkle and sigh during a poetry open mic night at the Truncheon, where he takes his latest conquest. Tuesday nights at 8pm. Light refreshments of coffee, potato chips, and chocolate chip cookies will be served.

Be proud of your skanky past, Richard. Your grandaughter's stepcousin sure was of his. RIchard: I'll have you know was happily involved in a very serious relationship when your mother decided she simply had to have me. We were engaged. She had met my parents, invitations were mailed out. Emily: You'll give these girls the wrong impression. Lorelai: That you were the Helena Bonham Carter of the society set? Emily: I did not steal your father, I simply gave him a choice. Richard: When you showed up at my frat party in that blue dress, I had no choice. I know who HBC is but that's another topical early 2000's reference that has escaped me. I guess she was a man stealer of some sort. I"m thinking it must have something to do with Jonny Depp. Anyway, I don't think you have to worry about modeling healthy relationships for Rory or Lorelai. Its too late, the horse has already escaped the barn there. Lorelai: I can't believe you were The Other Woman Emily:This is ridiculous. Lorelai: The other woman should be saying "this is ridiculous" Rory's inner monologue: I want to be just like Grandma when I grow up.

We learn Richard proposed to Emily at Yale next to a trash can, and it seems to be a tradition in the Gilmore family to get proposed to next to a trash can. And in Lorelai's case to reproduce with the trash can, continue to have sex with the trash can over the next two decades and eventually, to marry the trash can.

#gilmore girls #richard gilmore #emily gilmore #let the games begin #this was highly enjoyable #jess mariano #slutty jess #truncheon #open mic night #chips and cookies #trash can #denise rewatches gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 3 #ltgb #crusty business #Rory Gilmore #cedar bar redux #light refreshments

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Assistant Peter or Best Friend's Ex Bucky?

Everybody Talks

Warnings: unwanted touches, suggestions of more.

Please send in feedback if so inclined. Thank you all 💜

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

"Rough night?" Peter sets down a steaming mug of coffee, the aroma drawing a sigh from your lungs.

You look up from your mindless scrolling and hide a yawn behind your hand. He smiles as he slides the cup closer and takes a step back, a portfolio under his arm. His youth irritates you as much as it piques your envy. He's always so chipper.

"Here you go, boss," he puts the leather folder on the other side of your desk, "this is the mock-up for the Winter spread."

"Mmm," you nod but make no move to take the folder, instead opting for the blonde roast with a touch of oat milk. He always gets it exactly right. "Thanks. Again, boss seems a bit... heavy."

"Sorry, habit," he shrugs and you notice the line of his shoulders, the way the line of his throat leads down below his collar, a hint at the broad chest that makes his buttons strain, "my old job was super strict."

"And we're not," you challenge, "Parker, you've worked here two years."

"It's gone fast, what can I say? And I still can't believe how lucky I am to have the best boss in the world."

"Calm down, you'll get a stellar reference you click on outlook and nearly purr as you have your first sip, "what is this?"

You look at the cup and give it a sniff.

"They had a new flavour in the lounge, sugar cookie."

"Ah."

"I know it's not the usual but we all deserve a treat from time to time."

"No problem, it's good," you set the cup down and rub your cheek as you cradle your chin in your hand, "thanks, Parker. You can get back to it."

He hesitates, lingering, "you sure you don't need anything else?"

"You know I didn't hire you to be my coffee jockey, you got enough on your plate."

"Yes, bo--" he stops himself and uses your name instead, "you know where to find me."

"Sure do," you say as your phone screen lights up and draws your attention. Another call from your husband. He can wait. Or rot for all you care.

❤️‍🔥

"Norman, I don't care-- No, no, I'm not one of your cronies. Or your son. Don't start that with me," you huff into the speaker, your screen saver bouncing against the walls of your monitor, "we talked about this already. You want to go, go. It will be alone. You've known about Paris all year. I can't miss it."

"Darling, you really are intractable. It's an anniversary gift and again, you want to work--"

"Yes, I do. It's my job. It's the same thing every year, Norman," you snap, "and don't begin to lecture me on work trips and family obligations, alright? How many nights have I slept alone while you're out schmoozing your business partners or late at the lab. If you want to talk about this, call Dr. Suzanne and I'll be happy to have her advise."

"Ugh, I do love your fire, dear, but it burns hot," he snarls.

"Oh shut up." You hang up and toss your phone on your desk and lean back in your chair with a growl. You don't know why you don't just go to the lawyer already. Well, you know, the same excuse as always. You're too busy.

You shake your head and roll forward, swiping away the idle screen and setting back to your itinerary. Before Norman, you weren't like this. You liked being home but he made work your only escape. It was an easy excuse not to be entirely alone.

❤️‍🔥

You're barely away as you slowly flip through the pages of the portfolio. The blue-tinted lighting of the editorial is lackluster. You don't recall giving Seasonal Affective Disorder as a theme. You scribble in your notebook and chew the end of the pen. You really don't want to have a whole new shoot but some of these photos are lit like shit.

There's a gentle knock and you lurch back in your chair. Most of the office is gone by now.

"Come in," you call over your desk as you rest your fingertips on the glossy page.

A bouquet of flowers enters. For a moment you don't notice the body on the other side. Peter holds the huge basket of petals in his arms as he angles through, his reddish hair barely visible over the top. He puts them down on the round table by the window.

"These came for you," he says as he faces you, giving a sniff to his shirt, "they smell nice."

"I can only imagine who sent them," you grumble, Norman's oldest trick. You're well past him buying forgiveness. "If it wasn't such a hassle, I'd have you dump them in the bin."

"If that's what you want--"

"Parker, no," you scoff, "what are you still doing here."

"I got a bit carried away planning for Paris. I didn't go last year so... I'm kinda excited."

"Yeah, I... guess I take it for granted," you roll the pen between your fingers and put it down, "you need to go."

"And what about you?" He counters.

"I'm headed out," you say as you close the portfolio, "promise."

He nods, his brown eyes warm and placid as he watches you stand. You give an awkward smile as your knee gives a pop. You're really starting to feel the long work days. He looks down, you assume because of the noise and you do too. Your wrap skirt exposes more than your knee but the top of your sheer stocking. You fix it quickly.

"Uh," his throat bobs, "yeah, I'll get going, boss."

You want to correct him but you're too embarrassed. You wait for him to go before you give yourself a thorough lookover. Everything else is exactly where it belongs. Great, just the young assistant seeing the grumpy old lady's thigh, no big deal.

🤛

It's rainy in Paris.

It hardly matters to Peter as you cross the airport with bags in tow and he babbles on about all the things he's read about. Lindy delayed her flight at the last moment and Howard always came early and left sooner. You try to be patient, try to remember when you were an intern in New York for the first time, but you're drawn thin. Norman didn't even say goodbye.

You get a taxi and give the Hotel's name. It's more expensive so the driver needs no direction. You tip him and Peter follows you out. He follows you up to the grand archway entrance and gives a noise of awe as you cross the lobby. You decide to give him Lindy's suite since she won't be there.

He gleefully takes his keycard and you check your phone. Yep, nothing. Norman's past hounding you. You're as infuriated as you are relieved.

"Here," Peter grabs your suitcase before you can, "I got it."

"They have bellboys--"

"I'm stronger," he winks as he wheels ahead of you, "this way, mademoiselle."

You could laugh at his little act. You trail behind him to the elevator and he lets you in ahead of him. The ascent has you slightly dizzy and you step off thankfully. You check your keycard and point him in the right direction.

You thank him, almost reaching for a bill from your wallet to give him, and catch yourself.

"Anything else?" He asks as he rolls your suitcase to stand against the wall.

"No, Parker, that's fine. Thank you."

"Peter," he says, "two years and you still call me Parker."

"I'm... sorry," you say softly, realising how you reproached him for simply calling you boss. "P- Peter, if I've been rude these last few weeks, I apologise. I've had a lot going on and it's not an excuse to take it out on you."

"Rude? No, like I said, best boss I've ever had."

You nod and let out a sigh, "well, I'll... see you tomorrow morning."

"Bright and early, mademoiselle," he grins, "have a good one."

He spins on his heel and strides out lightly. You close the door behind him and groan as it clicks, the hours in a plane seat twinge in your hips. You have to try to enjoy this trip, if only to spite Norman.

❤️‍🔥

"You can have Lindy's seat," you say as you lead Peter amid the crowds, "wouldn't look good to have an empty seat with our name on it. Especially in the front-- Maria!" You interrupt yourself as you great the silver-haired designer, "so wonderful to see you again. Thank you so much for the gift basket."

"Thank you for the editorial," she says in her lilted baritone, "oh my, have we traded in the old model?"

She tweaks a brow in Peter's direction and his cheeks redden as you peek over at him. You give a soft laugh, not enough to embarrass him.

"This is my assistant, Peter Parker. He's a photographer as well."

"Peter Parker," Maria drawls out, "what an... American name."

"I do happen to be American," Peter says dumbly.

"How absolutely adorable, I could spoon him up and eat him with a nice sorbet."

"Uhhh," Peter gives a squint.

"Don't let us keep you," you gently touch Maria's elbow, "we should find our seats."

She passes on as another voice calls out her name. You continue on to the crowded runway and edge along the front row. You sit and smooth your skirt, a vintage designer piece chosen deliberately for the event. An editor-in-chief can't look a mess even if they feel one. Peter looks good enough in a Gucci button up and slacks, hair tidy enough to seem as if he belongs. You can't help but notice the Louis Vuitton loafers.

"Are those new?" You ask.

"Oh, uh, have a friend who tends to hoard nice things," he shrugs, "and that dress?"

"Not new," you assure him.

"Still, it looks good."

"Comes with the territory. Everyone's here competing and in the front row, the press will be sure to get a couple snaps."

"Wow, is that Shaq?" He looks across the aisle, "I didn't think he'd be into fashion."

"Like I said, people come to be seen and they are seen," you say.

"Oh, right," he looks around and his eyes round. There's already a long lens aimed in your direction, "it hasn't even started yet."

"Yeah, there's really no start or end, it just happens," you say, "last year wasn't particularly great for us. Howard got a bit... tipsy so he's skipping it this year."

"Ah," he nods and smooths his shirt. You try not to pay attention as the fabric draws taut over his chest.

Another guest claims the chair next to you and you greet them, another editor, and settle in as seats begin to feel. The anticipation builds until the room grows dim. The runway lights up with shades of rose. The crowd quiets and Maria comes out to introduce her collection.

As the first model comes back, you make sure to keep your posture straight. You've done this enough times to be aware of every tick and move you make. You have a magazine to represent and right now, it's the only thing going right in your life. You watch the designs and give a thought arch of your brow, the colors are interesting but the cut doesn't quite fit.

You feel a tickle on your leg but keep your focus on the runway. Then the warmth spread across your leg and squeezes you through your skirt. You flick your lashes in shock as Peter leans over as he feels your thigh, "I like the colours..."

"What are you doing?" You withhold your chagrin as you move your lips subtly, focusing on keeping your composure.

"Just wanted to get your attention..." he whispers, "and the press. Imagine what they'll say."

"Peter, get your hand off me." You warn under your breath.

"It'll definitely piss Norman off, won't it?" He snickers as he leans even closer, retracting his hand, only to drape his arm over your shoulders, "an editor-in-chief with a younger man, too? The scandal."

"Parker--"

"This isn't appropriate."

"Don't worry, boss," he brushes his nose along your cheek, "it's not all for the press. I really am going to fuck you."

#peter perker #peter parker x reader #dark peter parker #dark!peter parker #drabble #ask drabble #dark drabble #dark!drabble #mcu #marvel #spider man #avengers

[shmolish]

can you do raspberry cookie x fem swordfighter reader

both headcanon and oneshot

AN: She was the first cookie I dated back when that dating simulator came out ♡ I'll probably do the heacanons first, and then the oneshot a bit later. (Just bc headcanons are easier to write.) This was actually so much fun to write, I wasn't expecting it-

First part is heavily inspired by the Kingdom of Romance event

Raspberry Cookie x Fem! Swordfighter! Reader HEADCANONS

Warnings: Mentions of injury (mild)

Friends ☆

You two first met when you joined the royal guard as a new member

She went to initiate you personally

Beat you VERY quickly

You said you would get on her level one day

Something sparked in her in that moment

You two started talking a lot more after that

Sometimes you'll flirt with her (But you swear it's all in good fun)

She'll get embarrassed and kick you

It really hurts

There was also a baking event once, where both of you attended

She made a slice of cake for you

She kept calling it a failure, and that just because she was giving it to you doesn't mean anything

You tried it, and it tasted really good

You realized then that you were in love with her

Later that day, she said she got a date

It made you really sad, and you felt the world crumbling around you

You told her 'congratulations' and 'im happy for you' anyway

She knew you were lying

She started to tell you that she was lying, and that the only person she'd want to spend her life with was you

Romantic ♡

You two train together all of the time

Although, she is better than you

She doesn't go easy on you either, since you practically BEG for her to go all out

You've ended up with a few injuries because of this

She patches you up very well and apologizes with kisses

She always feels really bad about it

Isn't the biggest on PDA, except for some flirting and hand holding

She acts like a tsundere, so you have to initiate most of the romantic acts

She'll act like she hates them, but she really really likes them

For nicknames, I think she'll probably call you princess (since she wants to act like your knight)

You've proved to her many times that you can defend yourself though

You may not be better than her, but you are still very good at swordplay

Whenever she comments on how good you are, you'll say something like "Well if course. Its be ause I learned from the best."

(You're referring to her and she knows it.)

(Blushes a lot)

While cuddling, she's switch. It depends on her mood, but she'll probably like being little spoon.

Constantly trying to prove herself to you

You tell her that she doesn't have to, but she still does

Goes all out on Valentine's day

I'm talking chocolates, flowers, decorations, letters, everything

Her love language is acts of service and gifts, but this especially shows on holidays

Likes showing you places as well

All in all, a wonderful, albeit somewhat shy partner. ♡ May need to work on communicating, but wtv

#raspberry cookie #raspberry cookie crk #raspberry crk #crk x reader #crk #cookie run kingdom #cookie run kingdom x reader #fem reader #fem! reader #headcanons #crk headcanons #raspberry cookie headcanons #raspberry cookie x reader #raspberry cookie x reader hc #raspberry cookie x reader crk