#if its true (which i personally believe it is) that leigh herself didn’t know about the situation | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

plusultrcs · 3 years

Text

Okay so now that i’m done crying about shadow and bone to my friends i want to make a controversial statement. Don’t bite my head off for my opinion bc 1. idc i said what i said and 2. it aint that serious these are fictional characters moving on though. I don’t think the show is bad AT ALL i really enjoyed it and seeing the inclusion of leigh and her books was so fucking cute but i will say i think combining both series into one did a huge disservice to the character development of most, if not ever, character. and i’ll explain why so (obviously) sab spoilers ahead. this also obnoxiously long so if you dont read it thats fine <3 lmao

I know going into it everyone, including leigh pretty much, was saying not to expect it to be like the books. That it was going stray away and be more like a fanfiction than the original works. Which was true, but only for the six of crows characters. The show leaned heavily and relied heavily on the plot of shadow and bone. Which, of course, makes sense but because of the inclusion of a heavy heavy re-worked six of crows plot that didnt fit the plot of shadow and bone at all it left them feeling incredibly displaced. Like on shadow and bones part every single major and sometimes even the minor plot points were followed to the number, but on the six of crows front the only thing closely followed was the nina and matthias backstory. I wont talk about every single character because i anticipate this to already be long, but the ones i noticed the most were done a disservice.

For instance Alina. Despite shadow and bone being followed so closely you dont really get to see the natural progression of alina’s character the way i was hoping we would. And that’s definitely because of the time restraints. They had to find a way to somehow balance the screen time for both separate plots so that they could hold the audiences attention for both. Like when nina and matthias plot wasnt on the screen for i think 2 episodes i almost forgot about them and what they were up to so i understand why they timing had to be so split, especially when you only have 8 hours to cover the characters of 2 over 300 page long books yknow? But that means important moments alina had to herself in the books were completely cut, and so a lot of that growth we got went with it. The the biggest thing i was disappointed to see go was the defeat she felt when she was first captured and collared by the darkling. She was feeling absolutely helpless, mal was in their hold, she had no power to do anything but sit there and let him use her. All the training she did felt pointless to her and she really was at the point of giving up. She went quiet, wouldnt speak,was basically a zombie until that moment in the fold when she saw innocent people suffering when she knew she could stop. And she found a way to break free. There were other moments like this in the book, like moments at the little palace where shelt herself getting further and further from mal and feeling like an outside on her own all over again. They tried to show it in the show but without the time to develop her life on her own at the little palace it definitely fell short.

Speaking of mal: THANK YOU WRITERS FOR FIXING HIS WHINY ASS. And while he was annoyingly whiny in the books, he is not a boring character. Not to me at least, honestly he never was. While i do appreciate them not making him so whiny, I would have appreciated seeing that same dissonance realizing alina was grisha brought about in the books. Its just like alina said, grisha were people they scoffed at and talked about in a joking way. Their lives felt miles and miles away from their own, and then to learn that she had been one the entire time. I know i know, it has nothing to do with, and alina didnt know either. BUT THAT IS STILL HIS BEST FRIEND. And obviously girl he’s in love with even if he wasnt aware of it at the time. it made him question everything he thought about grisha, and more importantly brought both of their biggest fears to light: being torn apart. In the book he doesnt deal with this well at ALL and while leigh bardugo does a great job throughout the series showing him growing to me he never got where he should have been, and the show did place him there but i think they do so prematurely. I definitely wanted him to be as understanding as he was, to take notice of how much healthier and stronger she looks since she’s not withholding her power anymore, but i did still want the tension of him wondering what it means for them, how their lives would change, because just based on laws alone she is a grisha and would typically never be someone he would have the chance to befriend but neither of them would be okay with that.

AND ON THE TOPIC OF MALINA. THEY ARE NOT A BORING SHIP. I think the only person other who would work for alina is nikolai (dont fight me on this im right), and that is who i wanted her to end up with. However, I understand why Mal was the choice. Alina has always been someone who just wanted to belong, to fit in somewhere, AND THAT IS OKAY. IT’S NOT A CRIME TO WANT TO BE ORDINARY. I know shes the main character, and has the prophecy of being the ~chosen one~ but that doesnt mean she suddenly has to alter change and rearrange herself entirely. she never wanted to be a saint, and even by the end of the series she still doesnt. Choosing to let the world believed she died so she could live a quiet life. tHAT’S ALL SHE’S EVER WANTED. And Mal is the perfect person to give her that. People who claim she gave up her life for mal, to me, didn’t understand her character. She bounced around from needing mal by her side, and when she couldnt have him there she still sought acceptance in the only other person willing to give it to her, i.e. the darkling. and then when she couldnt have it from him she’s forced to find it in herself and while she learns she doesnt need him or mal she doesnt need anyone, she still chooses mal bc she wants to be with him. she doesnt feel obligated and even later on in the books makes plenty stands on her own without him but she loves him and they honestly make perfect sense. a softer ship doesnt make it a boring one js.

NOW THE SIX OF CROWS GANG. I hate to say it, i do but they felt reduced to a form comedic relief. they had their serious moments ofc but for the most part whenever they popped up on the screen i knew a joke or gag was soon to follow. i will say kit as jesper? best decision that could have possibly been made he fucking did what he had to DO. Kaz’s development for me felt really really rushed and forced. Like he was saying things to inej he wouldnt have said so quickly and especially not while he wasnt under stress??? it honestly felt like fan service??? which im not mad at because again i dont think the show was bad at all the actors brought really great life to the crows, but it just makes me sad to see all that development and build up go out the window. i think if they were that set on combining the crows story with the shadow and bone story it would have been so much nicer to get a sort of prequel on the crows. like they should have given them the same treatment they gave nina and matthias. so that we could see their backstories as explained in the book happening in real time like how they all came to ketterdam. i know theres no point in wishing that now since whats done is done and again I DONT THINK ITS BAD. Im just sad about all the character development and strong subtle points lost because leigh bardugo always does such a great job in dropping subtle hints and always bringing them back in the end, and that was sadly lost. STILL A GOOD SHOW STILL LOVE THE BABIES. STILL PRAYING FOR A SEASON TWO.

EDIT: IT ALSO MADE ME SAD TO SEE THEM LOSE SO MANY TIMES??? ESPECIALLY AFTER SOC WHERE THEY ALWAYS MANAGED TO WIN?? Like ofc it made perfect sense for them to be unable to capture the damn sun summoner !!! but kaz and all of the crows are meant to be the best of the best when it comes to criminals top tier and they were bested by a ball of light and a jog???? and them going home basically empty handed was kinda :// like i got it but also where did alina get that necklace lmao so yeah once again still great still love it questions had to be asked

#sab #sab spoilers #shadow and bone

3 notes · View notes

abookandacuppa · 5 years

Text

Shadow and Bone review

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

Rating: ★★★★

Surrounded by enemies, the once-great nation of Ravka has been torn in two by the Shadow Fold, a swath of near impenetrable darkness crawling with monsters who feast on human flesh. Now its fate may rest on the shoulders of one lonely refugee.

Alina Starkov has never been good at anything. But when her regiment is attacked on the Fold and her best friend is brutally injured, Alina reveals a dormant power that saves his life—a power that could be the key to setting her war-ravaged country free. Wrenched from everything she knows, Alina is whisked away to the royal court to be trained as a member of the Grisha, the magical elite led by the mysterious Darkling.

Yet nothing in this lavish world is what it seems. With darkness looming and an entire kingdom depending on her untamed power, Alina will have to confront the secrets of the Grisha... and the secrets of her heart.

This book was amazing! I’ve heard nothing but good things about it for months and decided to finally give it a go. I really enjoyed that this had such strong Russian vibes, which isn’t something I usually see in fantasy fiction.

The main character, Alina, was my favorite (not surprising). She’s a lonely girl, having grown up as an orphan with all of one friend, Mal, who is also her only friend in the army they’ve been conscripted to. She’s head over heels in love with him, but believes the love is unrequited, so she’s content to simply be his best friend. But then, as the army is attempting to cross the Shadow Fold (a swath of darkness inhabited by dangerous creatures), they’re attacked by aforementioned creatures. To save Mal’s life, Alina uses hidden magic she didn’t realize she possessed, outing herself as Grisha (basically a person with magical talents... though it’s not technically magic, but for the sake of simplicity, I’m calling it magic).

After this, Alina’s life becomes a whirlwind as she’s whisked away by the Darkling (a powerful Grisha who is supposedly a servant of the King) to live in the Little Palace (in the royal city) and train her powers to become a powerful Grisha. The Darkling tells Alina that she’s their only hope of defeating the Shadow Fold once and for all, a task he had been trying to do for decades.

I loved reading all about Alina’s training in the Grisha city as she attempts to master her power and become a skilled fighter. The politics among the Grisha orders was fascinating, as there’s a definite hierarchy of power.

It broke my heart to see Alina so alone in the Little Palace. She has no friends, and anyone who is interested in her is really only interested in her powers as the Sun Summoner, and what her powers can do to save them from the Shadow Fold. I hurt for Alina when she realized that, after Mal has made no attempts to contact her or reply to the numerous letters she’s sent, her best friend really doesn’t miss her at all.

Her relationship with the Darkling was one of my favorite things about this book (not for the romance, but for the twist to come). He’s a mysterious, powerful being that shows and interest in Alina, and of course she’d captivated. He’s been one of the first people to show a genuine interest in her and treat her with love an kindness.

But then in turns out he’s a manipulative prick who wants to enslave Alina’s Sun Summoning power! Gah! My heart was galloping the whole time I was reading the section where Alina is clued in to the Darkling’s ulterior motive, when it was revealed that he was the one to actually make the Shadow Fold, and that he doesn’t want her to help him destroy it, but rather make it safe for him to enter so that he can expand it.

I was holding my breath as Alina fled the city, and I squealed happily when Mal found her. Their relationship was my favorite part of the book (for the romance, this time). They’re so sweet together, and it’s so obvious they’re best friends first and foremost, which, in my opinion, is how a romantic relationship should be.

I loved their journey across the country to track down Morozova’s herd before the Darkling could find the great stag and use it as an amplifier to control Alina’s powers. I loved watching them reconnect and air out all of their hurt as they thought they each had forgotten about the other when Alina was whisked away to the Grisha palace. But they’re so totally in love, and I loved watching them realize it.

When the Darkling caught up with them just as they found the stag, I wanted to shake Alina for not having killed the stag before the Darkling could. Seeing him put the collar of the stag’s antlers around her neck was so painful, but not nearly as painful as seeing that all of Alina’s supposed “friends” from the Grisha palace were actually actively working to assist the Darkling. Though, like Alina, I couldn’t really blame them--they assumed the Darkling’s intentions were pure when he said he wished to destroy the Shadow Fold.

But his true nature was revealed when they made it to the Shadow Fold and he used his powers to expand it immediately. When he made to leave Mal behind in the Shadow Fold, my heart stopped. But then Alina realizes that, upon showing the stag mercy, she actually had true ownership of the stag’s powers. This allowed her to no longer be under the control of the Darkling’s grip on her powers, and she uses it to save the day and escape with Mal.

I’m a little concerned about Alina’s love of her new-found amplified powers, but I sincerely hope she uses them for the good of the country to overthrown the Darkling. And I hope she and Mal continue to be safe throughout the series.

I loved everything about this universe, from the magic to the characters to the plot. The last 100 pages were a whirlwind of twists that I never saw coming but enjoyed thoroughly. I can't wait to read book #2.

--Ashley

#shadow and bone #leigh bardugo #bookblr #book blog #book review #reading journal #jan 2019 ashley #shadow and bone review by ashley

5 notes · View notes

youremymiracleelliot · 6 years

Photo

Crooked Kingdom (Six Of Crows #2) || review

”Pekka would count his money. He would raise his son. He’d find himself a good woman or two or ten. And maybe, in the quiet hours, he’d raise a glass to the men like him, to his fellow architects of misfortune who had helped raise Brekker and his crew. He’d drink to the whole sorry lot of them, but mostly to the poor fools who didn’t know what trouble was coming.”

I can’t believe it’s over. I can’t believe... I don’t want to believe and accept I won’t ever read of Kaz and his crew again. This was beautiful and I feel so complete. The prequel Six Of Crows already blew me away in many and unexpected ways but this was a new level of incredibility and impossibility. I’m all amazed and I can say there’s nothing I would change, or wish to be different, or complain about. The story and especially its end is perfect. I don’t have another word to put it.

If I had had the time, I would have read this in one sitting. From the start till the end, the plot was thrilling and I had problems to put the book away. Sometimes I read until deep into the night, though I was supposed to rest. I mean, there was so much excitement and action, danger and thrill waiting for me. The abduction, the first plan, the second plan, the third plan, the Kherguud, Pekka Rollins himself, Van Eck’s capability, the other nations which were involved, Jesper’s father, Wylan’s mother and not to forget, all the emotions and bonding moment and relationships. I was a sucker for the romantic moments, so deeply in love with Nina x Matthias (especially considering Matthias’ purity and Nina’s charms), so eager for Kaz x Inej to have some ...privacy (that bathroom scene was one of the most intimate, sexy and seductive scenes I’ve ever read — it was depicted so perfectly with so much tension and lust, my greatest respect to Leigh Bardugo!) and so hopeful for Jesper x Wylan to intensify their bond (there was this one first kiss scene of Jesper and “Wylan” which made me scream and I’m quite sure Colm ships them just as much as I do). The end for Jesper x Wylan couldn’t have been better. Everything felt right and in place. Kaz x Inej made me fangirl the most. Especially Kaz’s very last words to Inej. To be honest, I wouldn’t have expect him to be able to change, no matter how hard he wished for it. I wouldn’t even have been mad about it because I understood him so very well. But true love does miracles. To say it in Inej’s words:

”The world was made of miracles, unexpected earthquakes, storms that came from nowhere and might reshape a continent. [...] Anything was possible.”

Since I hadn’t expected this outcome, I felt even gratefuller, even happier, even more satisfied. I couldn’t have asked for anything better. Lastly, there are Matthias x Nina. I cried. I literally cried and my heart hurt. I’m not a person who often cries because of books, or fictional stories in general. It only happens when I love the characters more than I should. I already started to like their relationship in Six Of Crows but all their lovey-dovey moments, their sweetness and obvious love for each other made me love them as couple so much. This is why I cried even more, silent tears. I didn’t want to believe it because it was so......ordinary. I’m sad.

The plot itself without spoilering was so overly incredible! Leigh Bardugo truly is a genius to come up with something like that! I especially and literally adored how Kaz as the schemer was so ahead of everyone, always having another plan, another trick. Okay, not always. But at the end when everything was concluded and the puzzle was complete. By the way, it’s amazing and I felt so warm at heart because of the very fact that, like Wylan realized, some thugs happened to prevent an international war. They are actually heroes, though no one is aware and I admit, their methods might not always be the most law-abiding and justly. But they are good at heart, all of them. Yes, even you, Kaz. Everyone in his personal way. And this makes me feel simply happy, like I can’t stop to smile and be proud of what they achieved despite all odds.

Also, I came to slightly fall for a certain privateer (additional note: I didn’t read the Grisha trilogy yet but I already bought Shadow And Bone) who did an amazing job, not only when meeting with Kaz in the Geldrenner but also during the auction and oh, how I looooved the way he talked to the Fjerdan! I’m afraid I made have been spoilered for the Grisha trilogy, not only about Sturmhond but also by sentences like ”Alina Starkov was our age when she was martyred. She was just a girl, and she sacrificed herself to save Ravka and destroy the Shadow Fold.” Well, it’s my fault to have read this duology first. I’ll read it nonetheless, especially because of Sturmhond and I also love the entire world building and the concept of the Grisha. Plus, I should prepare to read King Of Scars! I’m really curious!

So, I’m really glad I took up these two books Six Of Crows and Crooked Kingdom which I will row up with my all-time favorite books. Everything was just perfect. The plot, the scheming, the characters, the emotions, the outcome, the end. Plus, I find it very important to add how I applause to the general message. Stop human trafficking and forced labor in our world!

3 notes · View notes

theastrophilearchitect · 3 years

Text

Every book on my TBR.

So. Every single book on my TBR (to-be-read). It’s not as dramatically long as most you’ll see - but then most BookTubers and Bookstagrammers are basically book hoarders. I started properly reading about three and a half years ago, August of 2017, and, at the time, I definitely wanted to eventually build a book collection so big I could line an entire wall with custom bookshelves, fill those bookshelves with my sixteen copies of every one of my favourite books and still have stacks and stacks either side of my desk. Then I came to the realisation than that’s insane. Books are expensive. So are bookshelves. And no-one wants to have to pack up boxes and boxes of books and set up new shelves when you move. So, now, I try to get most of my books from the library or BorrowBox, which always has a better selection, or I buy the eBook - it’s usually cheaper and means I don’t end up with a physical object to carry from place to place, all in my phone (though I usually read eBooks on my iPad).

Anyway, I have only about 30 books on my Goodreads want-to-read, 8 of which are on my physical TBR, which is what I’m going over today.

The Hidden Oracle by Rick Riordan

This is the first book in Rick Riordan’s third Percy Jackson (I guess?) series, The Trials of Apollo. I don’t know too much about what this book’s about, and I’m going to keep it that way - I loved Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and I loved Heroes of Olympus, so I’m not really concerned. I do know, however, that the god Apollo gets put into the body of a demigod named Lester (I thought as I was writing this that Lester was just the name he took as a mortal, but now I’m worrying that maybe Lester is a demigod whose body Apollo gets put into, which would be weird, but we’ll see) and its main characters are the lovely Nico di Angelo, son of Hades, and Will Solace, son of Apollo.

I can’t wait to get to this, but I did just finish Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard, so I’m pacing myself. I don’t want to burn out on Riordan.

Evenfall by Gaja J Kos & Boris Kos

Honestly, the description for this book is quite vague. Nope, incredibly vague. I could’ve sworn it wasn’t this vague when I put it on my TBR. I’m not sure how to summarise it, so here’s the Goodreads description:

A monster does not deserve the intimacy of a name As if waking up in an unfamiliar world isn’t enough of a surprise, Ember gains a new title to her name. Saviour. Hunted by the Crescent Prince and his lethal shadows, she accepts a young Mage’s help to navigate the land of blood magic and its many illusions. But where Ada sees the good in her power, Ember discovers something else. An icy darkness, designed to take lives, not save them. The only thing worse than not being able to rely on her senses—or the reality she had once believed to be true—is knowing that she cannot trust her heart. Especially as it seems to draw her to the one person in whose hands she can never fall… Will Ember escape the thrall of darkness or will she reign in it?

This is currently the oldest book on my TBR, which, were I anyone else, could mean it’s been on my TBR for literal years, which it technically has been, but only two.

12/02/2021 Note: I started reading this book on the 11th, and just couldn’t get into it. It felt like the world had just spawned into existence when Ember arrived in it. I tried to push myself to at least 50 pages, but I just couldn’t do it, so I DNF-ed it. Putting this note here because I wrote this post a while before it’s actually going up, and I don’t want to include a DNF in my wrap-up.

The Diviners by Libba Bray

I own this book in a really uncommon cover; I got it on amazon a couple years ago, and this just happened to be the one available at the time. Irrelevant. This is one of those books everyone has read, and I’m looking forward to eventually getting into it.

This book is set in a paranormal 1926 New York City, and a girl named Evie O’Neill has to live with her occult-obsessed uncle. When a girl turns up dead with some kind of cryptic branding, Evie’s uncle is called to the scene and she realises her power could help catch the murderer. That’s as simply as it can be put, but I get the impression there’s a lot more to this book, and despite the fact I’ve been desperate to read this book since I heard of it, I somehow still haven’t read it.

Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

I love Leigh Bardugo. In truth, I didn’t particularly enjoy the Grisha trilogy, but I loved both Six of Crows and King of Scars, and am currently rereading Crooked Kingdom on audiobook. This is her first take at an adult book, and follows Alex Stern, the only survivor of an unsolved multiple homicide who was offered a place at Yale by a mysterious benefactor, with the catch of monitoring the university’s secret societies, whose occult activities turn out to be more sinister than she could have expected.

This is a book that went onto my TBR immediately after I heard about it, and I’ve been waiting to read it for the last year and a half.

Skyward by Brandon Sanderson

I tried to read Sanderson’s Mistborn trilogy a couple years ago, and failed to get into it, partly because it didn’t interest me that much, but I love the idea of Skyward, and it’s gone down so well in the book community.

It’s set in a future where the human race is on the verge of extinction, trapped on a planet constantly attacked by alien warriors. Spensa, a teenage girl stuck on the planet, wants to be a pilot, but it seems far-off. Then, she finds the wreckage of a ship that appears to have a soul, and she must figure out how to repair it, and persuade it to help her navigate flight school. Again, I get the impression there’s much more to this story, especially since it’s planned to be part of a four-book series.

Catwoman: Soulstealer by Sarah J Maas

Honestly, the reason I bought this book was that I had a £10 reward on my Waterstones card, and I didn’t, at the time, have any books on my Goodreads want-to-read I hadn’t already bought, so, having recently become interested in the Avengers movies, I figured, why not? (Even though this is DC, not marvel, but not the point.)

This is book 3 in the DC Icons companion series, where every book is by a different author - I’m also panning to read Wonderwoman: Warbringer by Leigh Bardugo, and probably some of the others in the series, but for now, this is the one I own.

Selina Kyle returns to Gotham City under a new alias, and, with Batman off on a mission, only Batwing is left to defend the city from notorious criminals. Meanwhile, Batwing, trying to prove himself, targets Selina under her alias, who has teamed up with Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn.

Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

This is the only regular, probably-sane contemporary novel on my TBR - I tend to lean towards escapism, but this caught my interest.

This follows Eliza Mirk, who, online, is LadyConstellation, anonymous creator of popular webcomic Monstrous Sea. She’s your typical outcast, and isn’t interested in trying to live in the real world. Wallace Warland, the comic’s biggest fanfiction writer then transfers to Eliza’s school, and, believing her to be a fan, begins to draw her out of shell, until her secret is revealed.

House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas

Let’s be honest, everyone just knows this book as Crescent City. This is Maas’s first proper-adult series - I say that because A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) is technically new adult, though it’s marketed as young adult. I loved both Throne of Glass and ACOTAR the first time I read them, and am honestly now more slightly apprehensive at how seriously Maas’s books take themselves - I also just finished listening to all the Throne of Glass audiobooks. Unlike her previous fantasy books, this is a sci-fi.

Bryce Quinlan finds herself investigating her friends’ deaths in an attempt to avenge them after they were taken from her by a demon. Hunt Athalar is a Fallen angel, enslaved by Archangels, forced to assassinate their enemies, when he’s offered a deal to assist Bryce in exchange for his freedom.

And that, is every book currently on my TBR.

(12/02/2021)

0 notes

leightaylorwrites · 6 years

Text

Leigh Dissects YA fiction: Fallen Kingdoms (Chapter Nineteen- Chapter Twenty-two)

Chapter 19 - Limeros

“I think you have the potential for greatness, even if you don’t believe it yourself.”

The fact that Magnus literally means “great” in Latin makes this mini-splooge even more annoying.

“Are you sure? [...] I think you’re lying.”

“I’m not. What I am sure about is that I’d like you to leave my chambers.”

The way this is worded makes it seem like Magnus could be answering her question of “are you sure” when he’s actually saying he’s not lying. I feel like the editor should’ve caught this.

“I grow lonely.” Again she walked slowly around him. Her gaze felt weighted and uncomfortable. “And I know that you’re also lonely.”

What the fuck is up with this family?

“The same thing that I suggested to your father when he was not much older than you. I’m offering myself to you as a lover.”

White people.

“You’re old enough to be my mother.” “Age can be an asset, Magnus. With age comes experience. You are young and, apart from that maid and perhaps a handful of other meaningless girls, you have no experience.”

“You have no idea how much experience I have.”

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

“Sharing a mistress with my father doesn’t sound like a very good way to help strengthen our father-son bond.

I’m……

She kissed him until she realized that he wasn’t kissing her in return. She stepped back and looked up at him with confusion. “Is there a problem?”

Uh, you’re boning his dad????????

“I suppose for someone already lusting after his own sister, I’m not all that surprised.”

Drag him.

Here comes a rather long quote.

“My younger sister Jana was gifted with sight - a rare thing for a common witch. Within herself, she held the ability to read the tales the stars can tell. She believed in the prophecy, passed down from generation to generation, that one day a child would be born who would hold elementia within her greater than anyone since the original sorceress, Eva - she whom my kind worship as you worship your goddess [...] Sixteen years ago, Jana saw the birth heralded in the stars. Lucia’s birth. Together, my sister and I combined our magic to increase its power tenfold in order to locate her, knowing she would need our guidance one day when her magic finally awakened within her. My sister perished in the quest, but I brought Lucia here to Limeros to be raised as a princess… and as your sister.”

In ONE paragraph, we erased the need for the prologue so WHY is the prologue in this book still? The only difference between the prologue and this paragraph is that the prologue shows us Sabina killing Jana, whereas here, Sabina just saying Jana died. Given that Jana’s death only raises more questions that I know won’t be answered (why would Sabina kill the person who could teach Lucia the other two elements?), this whole thing is a jumbled mess of choosing tropes, cliches, and aesthetics over good writing.

“She’s not your sister.”

Cool motive, still incest.

[Sabina] lashed out and hit Magnus again. He snarled at her; his fist was so tight that Lucia was certain he would strike back. If Sabina was not a woman, she was certain he wouldn’t have hesitated.

Fellas, if a woman has hit you TWICE, you have the right to knock her ass out.

[Sabina’s] skull shattered against the hard surface [...] “Your… air magic… it’s even stronger than I thought.”

HOW IS SHE STILL ALIVE WITH A SHATTERED SKULL??

Her brother’s attention was on the door - now fully open. Standing there was her father.

With all this commotion and fighting, NOBODY heard anything until their father showed up? You were SLAMMING people around??

Chapter 20 - the sanctuary

In recent months, he’d despaired that he was wrong and had been following a girl who held no magic within her.

But before today, wouldn’t he know she was at least a witch, even if he didn’t know she’s a sorceress? He’s known she has magic for a while now.

It was another elder, Danaus. While all Watchers held the same eternal youth, the same level of beauty, Ioannes had always felt that there was something dark and sinister about Danaus lurking just beneath the surface. Danaus had never done anything that went beyond the unspoken rules of the Sancturary. But there was still… something. Something that Ioannes didn’t trust.

Perhaps it’s the fact that he’s named for a figure in Egyptian mythology and we can’t have the one explicitly black character be anything but sinister, dark, and shady.

What he’d discovered had to be protected. At any cost.

So he’s not going to tell his bosses that Lucia is an awakened sorceress because of SUBCONFLICT!

Chapter 21 - Paelsia

[...] to prove to himself that it couldn’t be Princess Cleiona.

How does Jonas know her full name? I get Magnus knowing it because they’re both heirs but Jonas is a peasant so what reason could he have for knowing the proper name for a foreign princess.

“A sixteen-year-old spy? Who is also a princess? Please.”

ToG is scared.

How bold and disrespectful she was - this princess who saw no harm in coming to the same place where she’d caused such pain and suffering.

Again, Jonas proves he’s the only relevant character in this story.

“What better than to have the king’s own daughter if the negotiations go awry?” Jonas said.

DEADASS THE ONLY SMART CHARACTER HERE. I know the author won’t put CEO in actual danger that she lowkey deserves to be in but if someone a bit more daring wrote this book, CEO being a hostage is exactly how this book would play out.

Chapter 22 - Paelsia

Time for hands down the WORST chapter in the book, where CEO finally is confronted by my angel son Jonas.

She would make sure that the old woman would be sent money and gifts for coming to their aid last night.

So a random old white lady gives you dinner and tells you some boring exposition and you’re going to shower her with riches but you’ll do nothing about the countless impoverished PoC you’ve seen? Cool.

“I’ll stay for a while. And I’ll do whatever I can to find information on this Watcher you’re convinced is hiding out somewhere in this land.”

LITERALLY, Nic just said what I suggested chapters ago, which SHOULD HAVE been the first plan. The only reason he didn’t figure this out earlier is because the author needed CEO to be there for the exposplooge ugh

“Very well. Have it your way. You can be the hero.”

Because we’ve got to let the man be the hero and think of this obvious solution. We couldn’t have CEO decide to send him to Paelsia when they were still in Auranos because then we’d have to acknowledge that men and women can be heroes in different ways and well, this book can’t have such nice things.

“Are you saying that you care for him? That his death might cause you pain?”

“Let him go right now!”

“Why should I?”

YES JONAS DRAG THAT BITCH

She had to remain calm so she could negotiate with this heathen.

You let his brother be murdered so you could keep your clean reputation.

“I can give you plenty of money if you spare his life.”

His expression turned to ice. “Money? How about fourteen Auranian centimos for each case of wine? Sounds fair, doesn’t it?”

BODIED

“You won’t get far, but you can try. It would be a moment of bravery for such a cowardly girl.”

She glared at him. “If you think I’m cowardly, you know nothing about me.”

YOU LET HIS BROTHER DIE BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO MUCH OF A PUNK ASS BITCH TO STOP YOUR DUDEBRO

“And I was wrong not to stop [the murder] when I had the chance.”

Yes, hello, that’s called being a coward.

“Shocking,” he said. “Maybe there’s more to you than beauty and a shallow personality.”

There’s really… not.

“I’ve heard what happens to girls who are kidnapped by savages.”

This book is literally so racist.

“Is that really what you think of me? A savage? How Auranian of you. I could just kill him, you know. I’m bargaining with you because I’m no savage. Unlike you and your friend who killed my brother.”

Mortal Kombat voice: finish her!!!

“Now take that blade away from his throat or you’ll be very, very sorry, you scum-sucking son of a pig.”

Again with the racism.

Also, very, VERY.

What she despaired about wasn’t that she’d fallen into the clutches of a savage boy who was willing to kill without a second thought.

BUT HE JUST HESITATED TO KILL YOU

“I’m surprised you’d even bother to use my royal title. It’s obvious you don’t respect it.”

You’re not his queen, he has no reason to respect you, you helped KILL his brother.

“That term [savage] seemed to bother you. Why? Are you afraid it’s true? Or do you consider yourself more refined than that?”

He literally just told you that he’s above being a savage, you racist clump of white garbage.

“I’d think someone like you would relish any chance to spill blood.”

This entire chapter is one racist line after another.

Here’s another long passage.

A brown rabbit darted in front of them and into a meadow with tall grass - surprisingly green for this otherwise faded, dreary landscape. She didn’t ask any more questions. She knew he wouldn’t answer them. And she didn’t want to risk losing her tongue.

Finally, fooled by her suddenly calm demeanor, Jonas let go of her arm long enough to wipe the back of his hand across his forehead.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she bolted away from him, feet quick as the rabbit’s as she left the path and burst into wide, grassy meadows.

Yes that entire section just metaphor-splooged all over this book, comparing CEO to a rabbit in a ~faded, dreary landscape~ running off to a grassy, green place. It wouldn’t be so bad if the author hadn’t LITERALLY compared her to the rabbit. We get it. You read a sparksnotes on metaphors and decided to put one in your book, even if it doesn’t serve any purpose.

[...] she stumbled, fell, and slammed her head against a chunk of stone protruding from the earth.

Yeah, no she’s dead. What’s up with these characters and surviving blunt force trauma so easily?

This girl was a snake.

Every time Jonas drags CEO, I just wanna smile.

He couldn’t deny that she was lovely… maybe even the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.

Jonas honey I’m so sorry this author wants you to be a splooge victim too.

Long passage alert

Then he felt her throat for a pulse. There was one.

“Too bad,” he breathed, although part of him was deeply relieved. He studied her face, pushing the silky hair back from it. She was tiny, a foot shorter than him and at least seventy pounds lighter. Her pale lavender dress was made from the finest silk - he’d never seen anything like it before. She wore tiny blue sapphires in her pierced ears and a green stone ring on her finger, but that was the sum total of her jewelry. Smart, since any flashier jewelry to go along with her fine clothes would have undoubtedly made her more of a target for thieves. Her face was free of the paint Laelia wore, but her cheeks were still bright and sun-kissed and her lips the color of roses. Unconscious, she didn’t seem nearly the cold, manipulative, rich bitch he’d fully decided she was.

My poor baby, my innocent sunflower angel, my sweet Jonas just spent a long ass paragraph having to splooge over CEO because we can’t have one man in this story not splooge over her. Someone save Jonas from this white hetero trash fire.

Just as he’d begun to think she was harmless and vulnerable, the beautiful snake had managed to sharpen her fangs.

Stop this.

She got up awkwardly, keeping the dagger trained on him, and retreated to the other side of the stone wheel that she’d fallen over.

HOW is she only walking awkwardly after hitting her head on a STONE????? She should be DEAD.

“But I’m planning to cut you if you come any closer.”

The girl’s tongue was a thousand times more dangerous than any weapon in her possession.

Because she said she’d cut him? EDGY!!!!!

He increased the pressure on her throat and stared down into the face of the girl who’d stood by her fiance’s side as his brother bled to death.

So he’s choking her to death, which she deserves, but we know she’s not going to die. However, if this turns into a romance later on, I’m giving up on YA books.

“All you look at me is something evil. But I’m not evil.”

Wow CEO it’s almost like you call him a savage every chance you get. So that’s cool but him LOOKING at you wrong is a problem? Cool.

At first glance, she appeared so small and fragile - but the princess possessed a fierce and fiery core that could burn anyone who got too close.

All she’s done since Jonas met her is whine, be a racist, hit her head, and threaten to cut him.

She was lucky she was only dealing with a bit of dizziness after knocking herself out. It could have been much worse.

She was unconscious after hitting her head on a stone and the author thinks the only problem she’ll have is being dizzy. If this comes back later on as a problem for CEO, I’ll give it a pass but it currently feels like bad writing.

“You are a horrible savage for keeping me here. My father will have your head for this.”

WHAT the FUCK

Jonas took hold of her throat again and pressed her up against the wall.

Stop teasing me and just KILL her already.

“And I’m not an evil bitch who rejoices in the deaths of others.”

You let an innocent man die so people wouldn’t know you’re not a virgin.

#leigh reads it #leigh dissects ya #falling kingdoms review

3 notes · View notes

shiikadai-archive · 7 years

Text

mal, objectivity & character development

So, I finally took it upon myself to read @lbardugo‘s The Grisha Trilogy. Initially, I thought I was reading just because I’d found her other duology, Six of Crows, to be an impeccable tale and that her other works just had to be worth reading. But a few of my reasons for reading also concerned some of the fandom’s perceptions of the series, namely:

an overwhelming hatred of the ultimate love interest, mal

the elevation of the relationship between alina and aleksander

the veneration of the many women in the series (perhaps one thing that I can agree with the majority of the fandom on)

I finished Ruin & Rising today, and I have to say that my thoughts about the conclusion of the series differ a lot with the majority of the fandom’s, especially in regards to those first two bullet points. While I certainly don’t find Mal’s actions in some parts of the series to be inexcusable, I’m a little confused by some of the accusations made against him, so I’m going to try to look at them objectively under the cut.

Shadow and Bone

Mal and Alina are best friends; Alina is in love with Mal, though she’s never told him so. Some people complain that Mal is a dick for being with other girls beforehand, especially if (as he said in Ruin and Rising) he was in love with Alina all along, but for one thing, he also said that she was his best friend and he didn’t want to ruin the friendship they had. This is, most likely in the case that his feelings weren’t reciprocated. Ultimately, it’s true that he should have confessed if he loved her, but running along those lines, Alina didn’t confess either. The situation they’re in at that point can’t really be blamed on either of them, or if you want to look at it another way, it can be blamed on both of them.

Mal’s first visit to the palace isn’t exactly pleasant. He hasn’t received any letters from Alina, because they’ve been intercepted, but he doesn’t know that, and he finds her dressed rather elegantly for a royal event while for the past few weeks, he’s been tracking a stag no one thinks exists. Initially, his anger is valid. However, on the flip side, once Alina explains herself, not to mention show that she’s absolutely overjoyed to see him, he really ought to tone it down and try to understand. His irritation is now misplaced, and Alina doesn’t deserve it. (Thankfully, he does apologize later.)

I’ve also seen some people say that Mal is unable to protect Alina in the first book or so, and IDK, they may be exaggerating just because of how much they hate him. The fact of the matter is, though, that while he can hardly protect her initially, he does improve immensely in that area by the end of the series.

Siege and Storm

This is probably the most problematic book for Mal, but I think it’s also important to note that because it’s the most problematic, it also makes for the center stage of Mal’s ultimate character development.

Mal’s ego in this book is, well—small and sad. He seems easily tipped over if anyone so much as teases him about his lack of Grisha powers or his inability to keep a relationship with Alina, and that’s a frustrating thing to deal with. I honestly rolled my eyes too many times.

Mal obviously has issues with Alina having held (and still holding) some sort of relationship with the Darkling, and the fact that he lashes out at her about it is incredibly insulting, not to mention counterproductive to the teamwork they ought to invest in if they want to beat the Darkling.

I’ve seen some people criticize him for being happy on the ship (with Nikolai, once they escape), but while Alina certainly has her burdens, I think to a degree that she’s happy, too. Also, while Mal hasn’t exactly been walking in Alina’s shoes, he’s certainly experiences his own form of stress and pressure in the past few weeks of tracking the stag and trying to help Alina escape, so I don’t think it’s a crime for him to finally feel at ease for a while on the ship with Nikolai and the twins.

Later on, though. . . Yikes. Mal’s reaction to Nikolai’s proposal is not warranted at all, and for two primary reasons, 1) he is in no place to accept or deny a proposal not involving him (even if it does “by extension”), and 2) if he really believes Alina loves him—and I think this is especially important, because we see that seed of doubt over her relationship with the Darkling really manifesting—he should trust her to refuse the proposal, which she does. Also, let’s not forget that he ought to understand why the proposal would be beneficial to the country.

So like, obviously, Mal is reaching the height of insecurity by now. He’s afraid of what kind of person Alina’s power is turning her into (and rightfully so, though there is a better way to react to it, especially if she’s trying to use that power for good and not just for herself), he doesn’t know if Alina still harbors feelings for the Darkling or if there were feelings at all, and in front of him is someone more “worthy” of marrying Alina because of his status and the convenience of his proposal to the betterment of the country. These are all reasons any person would feel threatened, but like I said, there’s a way to react and a way not to react.

Mal, of course, goes with the latter. He begins giving Alina the cold shoulder, acting only as a dutiful soldier rather than as the friend she needs, and so much to the point of Alina not feeling like she can tell him about the Darkling’s visits. In retrospect, I feel like Alina should have told him about these visions regardless, so that she could show him that he was a person worthy of her trust and confidence, but alas, she didn’t, and his reaction was anything but stellar.

The scene where he tries to kiss her, only for her to flinch because of the Darkling’s presence in the vicinity, is a sad one, but also an important one, because it sets the final stage for the build up to the climax of what will begin Mal’s true character development. Mal is insulted that Alina won’t kiss him and jumps to some pretty drastic conclusions, only to respond with more cage fights with Grisha and a fling with Zoya, which, amazingly, he tries to defend when Alina catches him in the act.

And this scene, to me, is so important. Because where Alina and Mal have barely talked before (or even if they have, very begrudgingly and to the point of minimal mutual understanding), this is the scene where it all comes out. The ugly truth of how Mal feels worthless and hates the situation he and Alina have been put into is finally laid out in its hellish glory, and Mal still isn’t convinced of Alina’s reasons for continuing to put the country and its people first. He’s still frustrated and struggling to grapple with the fact that his best friend holds the fate of the country in her hands, that she doesn’t have to turn to him for the help that she may have needed when they were naive and young. His ego is more prominent in this moment than any other, which makes it so ripe for the breaking in the event that follows.

Some will argue that the fact that it took Alina’s near trampling to bring Mal to his senses is pathetic and good reason to hate on him. I think it’s rather the opposite—it’s the ultimate smashing of his ego, of the delusional reality that he’s tried to build for himself, and he needs it. It’s also what sets him so apart from the Darkling, because regardless of age, no level of devastation seems to be enough to shake Aleksander from his dark desires. He continues to plow on into the future he has built in his mind, regardless of the consequences. Mal, in contrast, clearly comes to his senses after this point and realizes that there is a bigger world that exists outside of himself and Alina, and that it is worth saving first.

Of course, some may argue against this given the ending scene of S&S, where he chooses to save Alina from her suicide, and I guess that’s a valid point. But in the grand scheme of things, and given the ultimate end to the series, I think it’s rather minor. While he may prioritize Alina in this moment, he makes his rescue of her count by subsequently putting forth all of his efforts towards the Ravkan cause.

As an extra, one thing I was really distraught about in regards to this whole mess is that we never see an apology from Mal for his behavior in the second half of Siege and Storm. I’m assuming it’s passed up under the guise of their being no time to dwell on the past given the situation, but I really feel like he needs to apologize for that and I’m hoping he does somewhere outside of the pages, maybe in Leigh’s mind.

Ruin and Rising

Mal is so wonderful in this book, to be honest. He’s finally come to terms with himself and realized his place in the plot to save the country, and though he may still be frustrated with the possibility that he and Alina will eventually be separated, he is now humble enough to swallow his ego and devote his time and effort to Alina and Nikolai’s cause. Some may say that the fact that he is frustrated at all is wrong, but that would be to say that he doesn’t have the right to be human, and I’m pretty sure that’s nonsensical. So long as he is no longer imposing these frustrations upon other people, I think it’s okay for him to have them and think about them every once in a while.

Speaking of his frustrations, Mal’s relationship with Nikolai comes so far in this book, and it’s not even as a result of their interaction but rather as a result of Mal’s own growth. While he is still saddened by the possibility of Alina marrying Nikolai for the sake of the country, he no longer holds either of them accountable for the fact, nor views it as an absolutely abominable consequence of the war. He understands why it may have to happen, and because they are his friends and he loves them, he accepts that and helps in whatever way he can.

I saw someone joke that there’s irony in Mal saying, “I am become a blade,” because he’s finally realized he’s a tool, but honestly, I think that’s one of the most defining moments of his characterization. From the beginning of the series to now, he’s evolved from someone who hated the life his country had given him and wanted an immediate out free of consequence, into someone who understands his worth and his potential contribution to the betterment of the very society that he despised. He sees that he may have a hand in making life better for the people like him, and he accepts his responsibility with humility and grace.

He’s literally prepared to die if it saves the country. Where he once argued with Alina about not understanding why she was doing so much for a country that had done so little for her, he is now willing to put his life on the line because he knows that it may help. Some say this is because he finally has a way to feed his ego; I say it’s because there’s this thing called character development.

On another note, there’s also the complaint that Mal persists in envisioning a normal life for Alina and holding her down from the power she possesses, but I think it’s important to note that while Alina certainly loves her power, there is also a part of her that despises the misery and pain and strife that constantly comes with it. She realizes by looking at the Darkling that so long as such a daunting power exists, there is only war to come with it. And enamored as she is by the power and the amplifiers, this fact always gnaws at her and is by no means a state of mind solely brought about by Mal.

And yes, ultimately, she does lose her power, and a part of her does feel empty for it. Mal may not be able to compare in the same way, but a part of him feels empty, too—he died, for God’s sake, he literally fucking died because he believed in Alina and her ability to save the entire goddamn country, so, yes, he’s allowed to feel empty, too, even if not in the same way—and given their history, it’s poignant that they’re left to help each other in overcoming that.

It’s possible that Alina could have made the Darkling a better man, but it’s also important to note that he might have made her a better monster in return. (Fact: this is an actual quote in the books.) Alina was the Darkling’s last connection to humanity, but in reverse, the Darkling was Alina’s one connection to obsessive and consuming power, which is why they wouldn’t have worked. If Baghra’s love for her son wasn’t enough to stop him from achieving his maniacal dreams, then who’s to say that Alina’s love would have been? She may have lived a life of eternally trying to convince him to do the right thing and in the process have exhausted herself; or, she could have been swept up in his visions of power and grandeur, and then no one would have been happy. Alina and the Darkling don’t work not because of a lack of love or empathy, but because of a lack of willingness to compromise or yield on the Darkling’s part. As much as Aleksander may come to actually love Alina, the relationship is physically one sided from the very beginning.

In contrast, while Mal and Alina certainly face hurdles in their relationship, they ultimately come to a mutual understanding. They master balance where Alina and the Darkling do not. Mal comes to understand and accept Alina’s power, and even when it’s gone, he makes it clear that he will try to understand as much as possible why she feels empty without it. A normal, married life with Mal certainly isn’t something Alina envisions over the course of the war, but it is something she is content with by the end of it, because it entails peace of mind where there was none before. She may not be Queen, but she is still best friends with the King, with Tamar and Tolya, with Genya and Zoya and David, with Nadia and Adrik, with Misha. Alina comes to her own understanding of appreciating the life of the people who surround her, and while it doesn’t necessarily fill the hole she has in her heart, it does help to keep its presence at bay. It’s ironic, because the Darkling is part of the very reason for this—at the expense of his death and her Sun Summoning abilities, she understands the cost of obsession and power. So a life with Mal where they try to help each other work through their scars is something that she eventually finds comfort in, and that’s nothing if not fitting of a solid end to a story.

Basically, Mal has done some shitty things in the first half of the series, but a lot of it is pivotal in building up to the break down of this very aspect of his character. His actions aren’t inexcusable, but his subsequent improvement and dedication to Alina as a savior and a person and a friend is admirable and indicative of the egotistical and insecure behavior that he has worked so hard to overcome. Alina, likewise, experiences her own growth over the course of the series and comes to terms with herself about what it is that she wants and needs, and how to balance the two, and that’s ultimately why she and Mal work.

#malyen oretsev #mal oretsev #alina starkov #mal x alina #the grisha trilogy #tgt #leigh bardugo #this is so long but i had to get my thoughts out #there are other meta posts about mal on tumblr #but i wasn't really satisfied with them #because they focus on mal's good parts but often ignore the bad #which sucks because the bad is so important to his whole character arc #like i don't think they're excusing him; i'm sure they know his mistakes are awful ones #i just don't think most people realize the importance of his bad attitude to character development #but yeah this is basically all of my thoughts about mal collected into one long ass post #definitely one of the best character development arcs i've seen in a book #otp: you are the whole of my heart

190 notes · View notes

krissysbookshelf · 7 years

Text

Enjoy An Exclusive Sneek Peek of: The End of Our Story by Meg Haston!

Bridge and Wil have been entangled in each other’s lives for years, but when Wil’s family suffers a violent loss, and Bridge rushes back to Wil’s side. As they struggle to heal old wounds and start falling for each other all over again, Bridge and Wil discover just how much has changed in the past year. Though they once knew each other’s every secret, they aren’t the same people they used to be.

LEARN MORE

BRIDGE Spring, Senior Year

NOW that Atlantic Beach and I are about to part ways, something strange has started to happen. With just two months left in senior year, suddenly I’m noticing every little detail: the way the salt-screened classroom windows smudge the sun. How the beach rats’ feet are permanently plastered with sand. The color of Wil Hines’s skin, perpetually an end-of-August bronze from hours spent between the ocean and the sun. Now that it’s all about to disappear, everything around me is sharper, brighter. My brain is trying to convince me that I’ll miss this place once I leave for Miami and The Rest of My Life, but that’s impossible. I’ve been plotting my escape for almost a year now.

At the desk next to me, Leigh props up her sketchpad. On it is a drawing of a concrete wall with What time should I pick you up tonight, biotch? graffitied in blazing hot-pink flames. Weeds crawl through the cracks in the wall, and a girl leans against it, smoking a joint. Leigh is incapable of texting like a normal person.

She flips to the next page, where she’s written First bonfire of senior year!!! When I shake my head no, she rolls her eyes and flips again. The third page says Dude. Bridge. Come on. The girl is slumped against the wall in defeat. She looks like Leigh: shoulder-length dreadlocks, warm mahogany skin, and dark brown eyes. Even the cartoon-version of my best friend finds me lame these days. I shrug and mouth Sorry, even though we both knew the answer before she asked the question.

At the front of the room, a substitute stares blank-faced at her computer screen. We’re supposed to be doing trig practice problems, but the thirty-four of us seem to have an unspoken agreement: We’ll do nothing, leaving the sub free to analyze her sort-of-boyfriend’s Instagram posts.

As Leigh sighs and goes back to her sketchpad, Ana Acevedo leans across the gray linoleum aisle and puts her lips close to Wil’s ear: “We should go to the bonfire, babe. You never go out anymore.”

Babe. I can’t believe they’re still a thing.

I can’t believe we’re not anymore.

I stare at the back of Wil’s neck, taut from Ana’s whisper. I remember the first time I sat behind him. It was the beginning of fourth grade at my new school, and my entire body was raw with sunburn. I was on fire. Breathing hurt. Even holding a pencil hurt. So I sat as still as I could on the edge of my seat and counted the sun-bleached hairs on the head in front of me. On hair number eighty-six, the boy turned around.

He said, “Your skin matches your hair, almost.”

I blinked.

“You have sun poisoning. Like, bad,” he told me.

“Duh,” I replied, but secretly, I was relieved by his diagnosis. I had been considering something in the flesh-eating disease category.

“Didn’t your mom put sunscreen on you?”

“She had to work.” I didn’t tell him that yesterday had been the first beach afternoon in the history of Bridget Hawking. That I didn’t understand the Florida sun. I lay on the sand, feet and palms pressed into the fine grains, the fireball searing me slowly and without my knowledge. The water looked exactly the way I thought it would, like a beach diorama I’d designed in first grade. Crinkled aluminum foil scribbled cerulean.

“What about your dad?” he asked.

“My dad is dead,” I lied. Or maybe I didn’t. Mom told me once she had no idea.

“Oh,” he said. He poked his tongue in the space between his two front teeth. “Do you want to come over after school? My dad has a workshop and you should probably stay inside.”

“I don’t even know your name,” I said.

“Wil. Short for Wilson, which is my dad’s name, too.”

That afternoon, Wil’s dad picked us up in a truck that had been patched and repainted too many times to tell its true color.

“This is Bridge,” Wil told his dad.

“As in, Brooklyn?” Wilson Hines smiled. “Or maybe Golden Gate?” When he turned to wink at Wil, I noticed that he had longish hair. The dads I knew back in Alabama had buzz cuts, mostly.

“As in Bridget,” I said. “From Alabama?”

“Bridget from Alabama,” he said. “Of course.” He had us ride in the cab so my burn didn’t get worse. He fished around in a bag at Wil’s feet and found a trucker’s hat that said MAMA P’S SEAFOOD SHANTY. He put it on my head to keep the sun off my face. In the truck, there was a tiny fake pine tree on the dash, which made everything smell like Christmas.

He buckled my seat belt and was quiet most of the way but every now and then he’d ask me a question, like what Alabama was like this time of year or whether Wil had caused the teacher any trouble in class today.

“Just between us,” he said, as though Wil wasn’t there. He winked.

Wil’s family lived in a white ranch-style house that was low and long, ten blocks east of the water. The house was situated on a double lot, and behind the main house was a large workshop. It looked like a barn, which reminded me of home. Over the front door of the workshop was a neatly hand-lettered sign: HINES BOAT BUILDING AND REPAIR. Inside, the light was watery, and it smelled like varnish and sawdust. In the center of the workshop, the upside-down skeleton of a small wooden boat balanced on a large worktable. The walls were all pegboards and wood shelving and straight lines.

Wil’s dad went to get us some snacks and told us that when he got back, he wanted to see that everything was as he’d left it.

“Got it,” we said. We sat with our legs outstretched on the stained concrete floor and compared things, like mothers (his was an office manager at a dentist’s office in downtown Jacksonville; mine was a hospitality expert), and least-favorite things about our fourth-grade teacher (his: how she had only picked girl line leaders so far; mine: how when she read to the class, she licked her finger each time she turned a page, which meant that every book in our classroom was covered in her spit), and favorite holidays (his: Halloween, because you can’t buy packets of fake blood any other time of year without looking crazy and also because of the candy; mine: my birthday because my mom made Funfetti waffles).

“Also, sick days in quotes,” I announced as Wil’s dad returned with a paper plate full of celery and apple wedges smeared with peanut butter. A sick day in quotes was something special Mom did for my brother, Micah, and me once or twice each school year. We’d get up at the regular time, get dressed for school and eat breakfast, and just as Mom was rushing us out the door, she’d yell, “Sick day in quotes!” and pull us back inside. She’d call the school and tell them we were “sick” and make a big show of the air quotes while she was on the phone. Then we’d pile in her bed together and eat sugar cereal straight out of the box and watch cartoons until we all fell asleep.

“What about sick days?” Wilson crouched on the floor and placed a single napkin in front of each of us. One celery stick for me; one celery stick for Wil. One apple chunk for me; one apple chunk for Wil.

Wil rolled his eyes at me. “Don’t get him started about sick days.”

“No such thing.” Wil’s dad shook his head. “No matter what, every day—”

Wil finished the sentence for him: “You show up to play.”

When Wilson dropped me off at home that night, he told me I was welcome anytime. So I showed up the next afternoon. And the next. I spent nearly every day in that workshop, until Wil and I morphed into friends. Best friends. More. We were solid: made of layers of afternoon snacks and middle-school dances and first kisses. We took years to get that way. And I undid it all in a blink.

Somehow, I’ve survived our senior year without Wil. But now it’s April, and with Miami only a couple of months away, Wil’s absence seems sharper, just like every other detail of my Florida life. If I had to get all Intro to Psych about it, I guess I’d say that before I make the biggest change I’ve ever made in my very small life, I need something familiar. I want to find Wil in his dad’s workshop. I would talk through the cloudy life questions that have been hovering over me since August: What if I don’t get a good work-study job? and Mom can’t set Micah straight all by herself and But I don’t want to stay here, I most definitely do not want to stay in Atlantic Beach for the rest of my life. Not anymore.

The bell rings, and I watch Wil slide out of his seat and rest his hand on the small of Ana’s back. He steers her toward the door, leaving the smell of varnish in his wake.

He must be working on a new boat. He always smells like sawdust and varnish when he’s finishing a skiff. Varnish is his favorite smell—he used to sniff the can as a kid. I bet I’m the only person in the universe who knows that. I know all his real secrets, like how he can’t sleep without the National Geographic channel on low in the background. How he knows his dad loves him and his mom tries but doesn’t know him. How he can only cry underwater.

It’s such a waste, knowing those kinds of things about a stranger.

Original post: http://ift.tt/2qRbdFF

from Blogger http://ift.tt/2qfF79O

#Blogger

0 notes

rathertoofondofbooks · 7 years

Text

Today I’m thrilled to welcome author Jennifer Gilmour to my blog today and to share a fascinating interview that I got to do with her.

Please tell my readers a little bit about yourself.

Born in the North East, I am a young, married mum with three children. I am an entrepreneur, running a family business from my home-base and I have a large readership of other young mums in business for my blog posts.

From an early age I have had a passion for writing and have been gathering ideas and plot lines from my teenage years. As a passionate advocate for women in abusive relationships, I have amalgamated and fictionalised other survivors experiences alongside my own to write my first novel Isolation Junction detailing the journey of a young woman from the despair of an emotionally abusive and unhappy marriage to develop the confidence to challenge and change her life and to love again. I hope that in reading my book, I will raise awareness of this often hidden and unseen behaviour and empower women in abusive relationships to seek help for themselves and find the confidence to change their lives.

What is your book about?

I wrote my debut novel based on true events from my own and others experiences. My book follows the story of Rose who is stuck in an abusive and coercive relationship referred to as Isolation Junction. After years of emotional abuse, the self doubt about her future and the erosion of her confidence, Rose takes a stand. Finding herself alone, penniless and frightened Rose wonders how she will ever escape from the situation to provide a better life for herself and her children. With 100 reasons to leave and 1000 reasons why she perceives she can’t – will she have the courage to do it? And will she find the support to regain control and confidence?

How did you first come to be a writer?

I was on an awareness course about Domestic Abuse. Alongside me were about 8 other women who had been in abusive relationships. As the day progressed, I found that I simply couldn’t believe that some of the things that other women were saying were exactly what I had gone through but just in a different format. Domestic Abuse tends to go in a cycle and whichever way it begins, the behaviour spirals again and again. At first it could be months between incidents but for me, as time went on, there were many instances within one day. It is quite normal to try to prevent the cycle from starting again by changing your behaviour as much as possible. By the end of the course I had come to understand that we were all subjected to the same behaviour and that no one knew before that this could even happen to someone ie that a relationship can be so unhealthy and soul destroying. I realised that others simply needed to know more about this unacceptable behaviour; they need to see the warning signs before the relationship goes further or the behaviour gets even more serious. On the other hand, I needed others to see the behaviour for what it is. If people are in a relationship and the behaviour within it is not acceptable and is not their fault, it can’t simply be changed by changing yourself.

I absolutely knew that I had a story to tell and with my previous unfinished written work I realised my first novel had to be more than a book. It had to be a message – a way for others to be able to pass on the story to help victims and to get the penny to drop and bring about realisation of what is happening sooner. This means that when the relationship ends victims and survivors realise they are not the only ones out there and its ok to talk about the abuse.

Where does your inspiration come from?

My passion for being an advocate drives my inspiration to write. Ultimately my own experiences and the want to change develop knowledge in those who don’t know what it is like to be subjected to emotional abuse and coercive control; as well as reassure other survivors that they are not alone because surviving is hard http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/jennifer-gilmour/surviving-is-hard_1_b_13011174.html.

What is your writing routine?

I didn’t have a specific writing routine but to write my first book I had lots and lots of notes and even diary entries to aid my writing. I felt so passionately about why I was writing it came naturally and I only needed to sit down and make time to write. Towards the end of the journey my editor was part of this process. Writing book number two, I am more careful when I write and it will take naturally longer as I find that going back and writing about domestic abuse sometimes affects my emotional state. It is very important to me that I remain positive throughout my writing process and this is why I have brought out a series of stories you can read for free on my blog ‘The Fox Stories’; these have been more lighthearted and enjoyable for me to write. www.jennifergilmour.com/blog

What has your journey to publication been like?

As a self published author the road to publication was interesting and challenging and not perhaps as stressful as I had imagined it would be. There was a lot of flexibility with my debut novel and the choices I made like the cover for example, I was very excited seeing my work and vision come to life because of this. I was pleased to be a part of Team Author UK who help self published authors publish their manuscripts, and provide support through understanding how Amazon works and getting the book printed.

I am yet to approach publishers as I am self published. I decided to self publish because I wanted to start to get the message out there immediately. I have had interest but it is finding the right publishers for the novel and more specifically to find a publisher where my work fits into their portfolio as it is a work of fiction. The novel does include sensitive material which could be emotional for some people but I have, however, woven through the story romance and some comedic moments in the book to try and make it a more entertaining read despite its serious message.

What are you reading at the moment?

I have just finished Emotional Aid by Hayley Wheeler. Hayley is someone I have connected with due to the nature of both of our books. I am now reading ‘The Happy Woman: What can you learn from Kids, Dogs and Men’ by Jealeith Leigh-Brown who I have recently connected with as authors from the North-East. It is clearly emotionally beneficial for authors to support one another.

If you were to be stranded on a desert island and could choose just one author’s books to read, who would you pick and why?

It would be J.K.Rowling’s books simply because she provided me with escapism in my childhood, teens and early adult years . Every time I read over the Harry Potter series I pick up some ‘newisms’ I like to call them. Basically these are things I hadn’t noticed before. The detail J.K.Rowling has gone to that makes this happen in her books makes this possible, I never get bored of the plot line.

Is there a question that you wish an interviewer would ask that you’ve never been asked? What’s your answer to that question?

How do you cope with ‘trolls’ or people that question your work?

I have had a couple of cases when I have had negative feedback about my writing on domestic abuse. Often this stems from individual self guilt. I don’t reply to those negative, personal trolling posts and I focus on those who have read the message behind my work. Usually a perpetrator is blind to what they are doing to the victim and so they feel frustrated in reading social media posts because it is normal behaviour for them and they like to defend their way of life. I have had messages of concern regarding my feelings where comments have been of a personal nature and have felt appreciative of the positive support offered which I feel is very endearing. At the end of the day, positive debate regarding these issues is important and I am thankful that it doesn’t hinder my career as I am able now to discuss the issues and to draw strength from this. Ultimately, I am lucky to have a supportive network around me.

How can people connect with you on social media?

Like me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/isolationjunctionbook

Follow me on Twitter at @JenLGilmour

Check out my website and subscribe to my blog and newsletter at www.jennifergilmour.com

Isolation Junction is out now and available from Amazon

#Interview with Jennifer Gilmour, author of Isolation Junction! @JenLGilmour #IsolationJunction Today I'm thrilled to welcome author Jennifer Gilmour to my blog today and to share a fascinating interview that I got to do with her.

#Author Interview #Author Q&A #Books #ebooks #Interview #Isolation Junction #Jennifer Gilmour

0 notes