#if cate touched my arm i would collapse

[bloodynereid]

Reapers & Ravens

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pairing: jordan li x oc

tw: trauma ! literally sm of it - this ep was just trauma central, also trauma response, mentions of torture, experiments, soldier boy flirting ??, swearing, seizures, mentions of death, morally iffy, murder, manipulation - i think that's it ? lmk if there's more

description: the story of a girl. a girl cursed by compound v to live a life without touch.

a/n: so i'm actually proud of this chapter yayy! it's also officially the longest chapter in the series - second place goes to chapter one. it's insane to me that i took one of the shortest episodes and made it into this beast. also yes i have a crush on soldier boy - i don't support his values, he's the kind of man that would be better if he just sat around and looked pretty. I LOVE jensen ackles tho, that's my man - supernatural is my fave so apologies for that longish scene. hopefully you enjoy! asks are always open and lmk ur thoughts <3

I stood in line right behind Marie as Cate pulled her bare hands away from her temples with an apologetic smile, she only smiled and moved out of the line - allowing me to be in front of Cate now.

“Hey.” I said with a sad twist of my lips, Cate mirrored my expression with her sad puppy dog eyes before raising her hands.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Cate’s soft hands gently encased both sides of my face and I felt my power struggle for a few moments before finally surrendering to hers. The combination of feeling actual skin and raw power was dizzying to my senses.

“Remember the past few days.” Cate utters under her breath and an onslaught of memories makes me even more disorientated… but everything makes sense again. All of the strange pieces that I had been missing had been filled.

“Woah.” I sort of stumble out of the lineup and collapse onto the sofa, rubbing my temples through the leather of my gloves.

“Hey you okay?” Jordan asks as they settle down next to me, I crack open my eyelids and smile weakly at him.

“Yeah, just sort of dizzy. I should be fine in a bit.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yup, you wouldn’t mind if I leaned on you for a second would you?” A surprised expression overtakes their face which instantly makes me regret even asking the question.

“You know what forget-”

“No, no it’s okay. I was just taken by surprise is all. Go ahead.” I smiled at him before lying my head on their shoulder. The soft material of his jacket caresses my face and a contented sigh leaves my mouth.

“Thank you.” I don’t notice the giddy smile that appears on Jordan’s face as I settle into the comfort. 

We watch as Cate gives Emma her memories back and the spinning in my brain starts to slow down. My powers are getting itchy though and after getting everything back, there was no way in hell I would try to take those pills again. An involuntary shudder runs along the length of my body. Fucking Vought.

“Jesus, thanks. I don’t know if I really wanted to remember all that. I have to go see Sam. Also you’re a cunt.” Emma exclaimed before she walked out of the room.

“Ah young love.” I said, making Gemma snort and Jordan chuckle from beside me.

“So what… Shetty made you do this?” Marie asked as she stood up and started to approach Cate. I patted Jordan’s arm lightly before standing up and wobbling slightly on my feet, making Jordan’s hand fly out and grab my forearm.

“Woah you okay?”

“Uh hmm.” I said as I weakly smiled at them, something felt off.

“Cate, look what you’ve done to Vic. You were in our fucking heads. Why the fuck did you do that?” Jordan asked as he made me lean onto them more. 

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t-” As much as I loved having Jordan be all hot and protective, they really didn’t have to be like that with Cate.

“Woah guys-” I started to say.

“No, Vic. She didn’t have any fucking right to do that. Look at yourself.” I rolled my eyes before I turned back to the blonde. Cate’s eyes were not just bloodshot, her irises were surrounded by pools of blood.

“Guys…” I started to warn everyone in the room, I understood that expression in Cate’s face - it was all too fucking familiar.

“I thought I was help-” Cate started to collapse, her arm extended towards the bar to find some stability.

“Woah, Cate.” Marie reached out towards her but Cate waved her off as she clutched onto the bar. I pulled away from Jordan, ignoring their protests and made my way to Cate.

“Cate, I need you to breathe.” She was staring at Jordan, Marie and Gemma’s faces with slight panic in her eyes. She started hobbling away from them, leaving their faces exasperated before going over to one of the armchairs.

“Cate! Look at me.” I walked over to her place in the chair, crouching down next to her. My slightly harsh tone made her eyeline turn towards me and I smiled gently at her before placing my gloved hands on her face. “It’s okay.”

I heard a quiet discussion happening behind me and turned to see that Marie had left the room in the same direction that Andre had headed out. Gemma and Jordan stood talking and occasionally shooting glances at me - Jordan’s filled with worry and Gemma’s filled with confusion.

“I just- I can’t do it anymore.”

“Can’t do what, Cate?”

“I- I-” My eyes widened when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she started seizing in front of me. Shit, shit, shit.

“Guys! Help! Help me, please.” Jordan rushed over to me and helped grab Cate. They lowered her down onto the soft carpeting and I watched, helpless, as she continued to convulse. It’s happening all over again. I heard Marie and Andre rush over and kneel down next to Cate.

“What happened?”

“When she pushes too much, it fucks with her head!” Andre exclaimed as he cradled Cate’s head.

“Did any of you learn CPR?”

“Where?”

“At fucking super hero school!”

“VIC! Do that thing you did the other night.” Andre said as he looked up at me with pleading eyes, I felt everyone’s eyes on my panicked face.

“I- I can’t.”

“What the fuck do you mean you can’t?” Andre yelled, making me jump.

“My powers are on the fritz, Andre! When she gave me my memories back- I don’t know how to fucking explain it. Cate’s too fucking strong!” I yelled back, I felt fucking powerless. My powers weren’t going to cooperate this time, I had a strong fucking feeling that if I touched Cate again - I might kill her.

“You did it before!”

“I’ll kill her! I can’t control my powers and I haven’t taken-” My mouth snaps shut before I can finish my sentence. My brain brings back a memory from when my dad first handed me the pills - it’s blurry but it’s there.

“Vicky, you’re going to need to take these now.”

“Why?” 

“You want to make your daddy proud right?” I nod quickly and a smirk encases his face.

“Never tell anyone about these though, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Oh my darling girl.” 

My body snaps back into reality when Jordan gently shakes my shoulder. I focus on Marie holding her hands in front of Cate with a look of pure concentration on her face.

“Are you okay?” Gemma whispers from beside me.

“Uh yeah. Sorry about that.”

Cate, thank god, stops convulsing. I slip my hand into one of her still ones and Andre leans over her to see if she’s still breathing. 

“She’s breathing!” I let out a sigh of relief the same moment basically everyone else does. 

“When is she going to wake up?” Jordan stutters out and I lean my head on their shoulder as a hand comes to circle around my own shoulders. Their hand traces circles on my clothed collarbone and the world slows down.

I catch Andre’s eyes from across from me and he is about to open his mouth to hopefully apologize but I just shake my head and start standing up. Jordan realizes what I’m trying to do and pulls their hand away from my shoulder and instead encases my gloved one.

Andre ends up carefully moving Cate’s still, almost too still, body to one of the couches. We watch anxiously as she just lies there.

“Can you hear us? Cate, can you hear us?” Maire asks pleadingly. This was getting to be too much. My empty hand tightens in an effort to ground myself. Fuck.

“Has she ever pushed this much before?” Jordan asks as he squeezes my hand, their obviously worried tone bleeds into his words. 

“Who cares? This is what she gets for mind-raping her friends.” My jaw drops as I turn my head to look at Andre. 

“What the actual fuck, Andre?” I don’t recognize my friend at all, I understood his anger but this was to a fucking extreme. Right as Andre is about to respond, Cate’s eyes fly open and she disappears with a pop. What the fuck?

“We all saw that, right?” I ask into the now dead silent room.

“I mean I’m pretty high right now, but I think so.” I looked up to see that Dusty had joined our little vigil.

“Hey Dusty.”

“Vic! This is probably the most I’ve seen you in ages.”

“Yeah.”

“Anyways, does anyone know where she went?” Gemma’s voice echoed through the room.

“Uh-” I look back at Dusty who now has his back turned and is looking at the bricks of the house floating away? Huh.

“What the-” Marie starts to ask as the group starts making its way over to Dusty. Of course, Marie starts to venture out first into the forest.

“Right yup let’s just walk through the creepy floating hole.” I add sarcastically but following after her anyways. Jordan let go of my hand but still walked next to me. I found that I actually missed the warmth that their hand had been emanating. God I’m really gone for them, aren’t I?

Sunshine streams through the leaves and gives the whole forest an actually pleasant atmosphere. I twirl around with a confused look etched on my face, before focusing back on the way we came in… only to find Dusty’s house completely gone.

“Ok… this is really fucking weird.” I say as I run a hand through my hair.

“Maybe Cate’s more powerful than we thought.” I turn towards Marie and make a sound assent before walking over to Gemma.

“You okay Gemma? I know this is probably fucking insane and I’m so sorry I dragged you into this.”

“Whoa no, it’s totally fine. I volunteered to help okay? Don’t worry yourself about it.”

“If you’re sure…”

“100 percent.” After my little check in with her I turn back to the group, only to see Andre stomping off into the woods. How much more of an idiot can this man be?

“Andre! Andre, stop! We don’t know where the fuck we are, you can’t just go off into the bloody woods.” I exclaim as I try to catch up with Andre, everyone following after me. I could hear the crackling of the leaves under my boots and the sound of thunder made my nerves jump. Strangely I couldn’t feel my powers, I brought my hand towards my face and realized that my skin wasn’t itching like normal.

What the fuck was going on?

“Caleb? Caleb!” I furrowed my eyebrows and hid behind a random tree along with Andre and the rest of the group.

“What’s going on?” I asked as I looked into the clearing, a woman and a policeman stood arguing in the middle of the fallen leaves.

“Caleb… Caleb is Cate’s brother’s name.” Andre utters and my eyes widen. This wasn’t real. We were in a fucking memory.

“Mommy? Mommy!”

“Holy shit! This is a memory.” Marie utters from beside me and I let out a deep breath before sharing worried glances with Jordan. This was bad. 

“I don’t feel safe with her.” 

My head snaps back to the scene and realization tickles my brain. So many people in my life had said those exact same words to my face. It didn’t matter that my dad was famous, he was the one who uttered those words for the first time. That phrase has followed me throughout my life. I closed my eyes, hard. Trying to keep the tears at bay as the memory continued to play in front of me.

“Hey!” Fuck! I jumped and swiveled my head around to see… Soldier Boy? 

“What are you greasy sack of fuck nuts doing here? Not you, sweetheart.” He looked over at me when uttering the last sentence and sent me a wink, making my jaw drop as Jordan stiffened next to me.

“Soldier Boy?”

“What the fuck?”

“What are you doing in here?” Marie asked as I was just getting over the fact that Soldier Boy winked at me. Okay Vic stop, your childhood crush is showing.

“Uh hi?” I stuttered out and Jordan swiveled to look at me. I could feel their incredulous expression.

“Hi sweetheart. Anyways, to answer your previous question, I’m Cate’s imaginary friend when she was a kid. Boyfriend, really. I taught her how to jerk off…”

The next barrage of words that left Soldier Boy’s mouth left my jaw dropped and an horribly vivid image in my head. Not that I don’t love Cate but UGH.

“It was pretty romantic.”

“Hell yeah brother.” Dusty said as he held up his fist, making me slap his shoulder. “Hey!”

“You fucking deserved that.” Soldier Boy said as he smirked in my direction and I felt a blush start to creep up my neck. Nope, no. He’s not even real. That’s when I felt an arm encircle my waist and pull me into solid warmth. Jordan.

I spied a look up at them and he had a murderous look in their eyes directed at Soldier Boy. Oh. Oh my God. Jordan was jealous. A smile appeared on my face as I focused back on the man standing in front of us.

“I- I’m pretty sure she didn’t like Jonas Brothers, that's all.” I lean around Jordan to look at Andre with a confused expression on my face. 

“Dude how is this relevant?” I asked. 

“I know you. You’re Cate’s newest little fuckboy. She really loves you… but not to worry - boys come and go but she’ll always come back for some… pillow talk. Which you’re welcome to join anytime.” Soldier Boy said as he winked at me again. Jordan’s hand tightened and an incredulous giggle left my mouth.

“Oh fuck off. You’re literally a Russian agent, you fuck.”

“Andre. Bigger shit going on right now.” Marie said.

“Exactly!”

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” Soldier Boy asked as he looked at us with a calculating expression on his face.

“You were supposedly radicalized by the Russians.” Jordan said in response, their tone was laced with jealous venom. 

“Fuck you. I’m not a godless, dickless, fuckwad of a commie. I’m red-blooded. The American kind. Red-white-and-blue red. I can fart “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The last sentence made my nose scrunch up, god I had forgotten how old this man actually was.

“You’re a fucking weirdo, dude.” Andre said, literally the one sentence that he had uttered tonight that actually had some merit.

“Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Go fuck your face.” An incredulous snort left my mouth and I raised a gloved hand to stifle my giggles.

“Ok! Ok! Let’s get back to the point.”

“Yeah, why the fuck are we here?” Gemma asked from where she was leaning on the tree.

“How should I know? Cate wants you in here for some fucking reason but if you don’t figure that out soon you’ll be stuck in here.”

“What?” We all simultaneously exclaim, this situation was getting worse by the fucking minute.

“That wasn’t all that thunder and lightning bullshit.” Soldier Boy adds as the sky flashes gold, making me gulp. “It’s one of Cate’s blood vessels bursting. So if you don’t get out of here before Cate turns into a vegetable then you will all become one with her.”

“Shit!”

“Exactly, so if you want to live, the single most important thing to remember is-” Soldier Boy was interrupted when he was blasted into a pile of black ash when one of those gold lightning rods hit him. Oh shit. 

“Oh my god, Soldier Boy is dead.”

“If that’s what happens to her imaginary boyfriend… what will happen to us?” Jordan asks with concern as they start tracing shapes on my arm, not that I was complaining. Touch was something I fucking missed - in any form.

“We should probably go.” I say as my voice strains and shock runs through my spine. Mutters of assent come from the group and we start heading away from the clearing as Jordan pulls me alongside them with his hand clutching mine. 

“That guy was a fucking dick right?”

“Only to you, Andre.” I said while rolling my eyes and scoffing.

“Well he was flirting up a fucking storm with you so I can clearly see why you’re disagreeing with me.”

“God will you shut up?” Jordan exclaimed towards Andre, who made a choked sound and looked at Jordan with a bewildered look on his face.

“Everything okay?” I ask as we continue to trek through the leaves and broken branches.

“Just didn’t like how Soldier Boy was talking to you.”

“Hmm really? I thought we weren’t going to make this a ‘thing’.” I uttered with a teasing undertone, a smirk already making its way to my face as I squeezed Jordan’s hand.

“We are having a long talk about that later.”

“Oh really?”

“Hmm.” My laughter fills the space and out of the corner of my eye I can see Jordan’s smile grow.

My everything hurts. It felt like we had been walking for hours, which was weird because we literally were in Cate’s brain. I was somehow able not to lag behind because Jordan was basically pulling me by the hand at this point. Hey don’t blame the supe stamina! Blame my stupid fucking boots.

I kick another branch out of my way before taking a deep breath and soldiering on (putting a bit more energy into the whole situation, not letting go of Jordan’s hand). 

“What if Cate is dying in the real world?”

“Like you even care.” I quipped in response to Andre’s question.

“Woah, what gave you that idea?”

“Dude have you been around yourself at all today?”

“OKAY! And I thought Jordan and I had been bad.” Marie intervened, as she tried to mediate whatever fight Andre and I were in. I remembered that even as kids when one of us got mad at the other person we would either explode in large fucking rages or ignore each other for weeks on end.

“God could you bitches slow the fuck down?” I heard Dusty mutter from behind us, making me look back at the brunette who was breathing loudly and leaning against a tree. I chuckle and turn back around only to be greeted by the sight of Cate sitting in some sort of floating window surrounded by wooden panels.

Everyone watched on as the memory with Dean Shetty played out. The memory almost felt like something that could have - and sort of did happen to me. The amount of manipulation that Shetty was able to exercise just because of how horrible Cate’s parents were made my heart ache. My hands clenched harder and harder with the contained anger I was trying to suppress.

A gasp left my mouth when Shetty presented Cate with the flask of pills. They reminded me so much of my own little neon atrocities. Something in my head itched, but it wasn’t my powers. Weird.

The memory suddenly ended and I looked around to find that we were standing in one of God U’s classrooms. A place I had been in just a few days ago.

“I haven’t been in a classroom in years.” I heard Dusty utter as I pulled out one of the wheeled chairs and sat down in between Jordan and Gemma.

I stretch out my fingers in my gloves as I try to pay attention to the scene that was happening in front of me. Luke looked so… alive. It was sort of creepy.

“All the way to the top.” That was when I heard Andre stand up and exhale loudly.

“We- we should leave. I- I can’t be around here.”

“I miss you, man.” Luke’s voice makes us all freeze, I watch as Andre turns around and looks at Luke in pure happiness.

“I-I miss you too. So fucking much.” 

“But… you know what? I don’t fucking believe you. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” Andre’s face falls and he takes a step back, I feel my eyebrows furrow and suddenly all the screens in the classroom turn on.

“Andre…”

Each screen begins to show Andre and Cate’s biggest hits. I feel my jaw drop for probably the millionth time today. Andre what the fuck have you done? You don’t sleep with your best friend’s girlfriend. Oh my god, we were so doomed. I start peeling off my gloves as the videos click off and Luke turns back to face us.

“How many times?”

“Uh- I-”

“How many fucking times?” Luke repeats but this time with a much angrier tone. I take off the last of the leather and neatly stack my gloves on top of each other. Gemma turns towards me and looks down at my bare hands and then back up to my face. I just give her a shrug and she nods slightly.

“Andre, you can’t be fucking serious. Was that real?”

“She didn’t make you do it, did she?” Luke asks as Andre just holds a hand up towards Jordan who is now stalking towards him. I pull myself up from my own seat and the cold of the metal almost makes me jump. Jesus my senses were going insane without my gloves on.

“You wanted to do it. All behind my back.”

“I’m-I’m sorry.” Andre stuttered out, making a scoff leave my mouth as I put my ungloved hand on Jordan’s shoulder. They turn towards me and he raises his eyebrows at my hand. I shake my head before pointing to Luke, who is very much starting to flame out.

“Woah, woah, out of my way cunts!” Dusty screams as he flys out of his chair and towards the door. Luke doesn’t hesitate to send a ball of fire towards him which makes him explode in a bloody cloud.

“Oh God, Dusty!” I yell as I push past Jordan as I extend my hand towards Luke’s uncovered face but I realize my mistake when I hear Jordan’s voice.

“I- I can’t switch.” My eyes widen, panic fills my body and then I feel something pull me away from Luke. I turned to Gemma who was now holding my very bare hand in hers. We both look up at each other in surprise.

“Guys! Run, we have to fucking run.” I don’t even venture a glance back towards Luke or my gloves before I start sprinting after Marie. We run through different hallways until we’re suddenly in Brink’s office.

“Fucking hell. Do you think we’re safe now?” I ask as I lean against the TA desk.

“I hope so.” Jordan answers as they turn towards me and smile. I smile giddily back. I can actually touch things holy shit!

“Seriously, Andre? You’re that guy?”

“Hey look, you don’t think I feel like a piece of shit?” Jordan and I both scoff at the same time before I start inching my pinkie towards theirs. “I loved her.”

“Are we just not going to talk about Dusty?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from Andre’s stupid issues.

My attention is drawn away as loud shouting echoes through the closed wooden doors. It was Luke and Brink. I moved away from the desk and followed Jordan as they made their way to the doors. The voices became clearer and almost angrier. I felt a force hit my right shoulder as something barrelled between Jordan and I.

“Hey!” Jordan exclaimed and I was about to voice a similar sentiment when I noticed that it was literally Jordan who had bumped into us. Well, memory Jordan not actual Jordan?

“Oh? Ok.”

“Is Cate in there?” Marie asked as I saw Jordan’s face slowly morph into one of panic.

“No, no this isn’t her memory. It’s mine.”

“How? How the fuck would that happen?” Andre asked as he turned towards us. I just put my hand on Jordan’s shoulder and tried to call them down. He looked devastated.

I turned to look as memory Jordan opened the doors and we followed behind them. Brink was standing in front of a furious looking Luke, holding a syringe in his hand. Oh shit. It felt like the events of the memory played out in slow motion.

I watched as memory Jordan picked up some kind of canister and put it over Luke’s face, making him collapse. A moment later a response team brought in a stretcher and quickly got Luke out of the office.

“What do I always say, huh? Being a hero, it’s not about the glory, it’s about the…”

“Sacrifice.” Jordan muttered and a strange tension appeared in the back of my brain. I had heard that before. Somewhere. 

The conversation continued and a little part of my heart broke. Being in the supe business was to be manipulated but this… fucking hell Cate and Jordan deserved better. I watch as Jordan’s face contorts through multiple levels of pain and sadness. I hesitantly put a hand on their shoulder and they put their hand over mine. 

“So you knew! You knew Golden Boy attacked Brink before.” Marie said, almost yelling. We both turned to look at her and I was about to open my mouth to defend them when Jordan’s voice cut me off.

“I didn’t- I didn’t know what all that meant.”

“Of course you did.” Out of the periphery of my eye I saw Jordan’s eyes start to well in tears, they moved away from my touch and instead let out a sigh.

“He said he was juicing Golden Boy!”

“And you just believed him.”

“What would you have done?”

“Something, Jordan!” Andre screamed out and I felt my nerves harden.

“Oh like you’re just the perfect saint Andre. Just fucking imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes for a single second.” I exclaimed, sending Andre a harsh glare. 

“We could have stopped everything right here.” Memory Jordan’s voice resonated off the now almost completely silent room. I felt fucking helpless. Again. It seemed like a recurring thing today.

“You’re a coward. And you always will be.” I saw tears form in memory Jordan’s eyes which finally caused me to move. I walked up to them and leaned down next to Jordan.

“What do you need?” I asked quietly, almost hesitating to break the silence of the room. Jordan basically lunged at me and I put my arms around them. Clenching my eyes shut I moved a hand up to their hair and started to massage his scalp. Supposedly it was something that was meant to help calm people down. I had never done it or had it done to me so I was going off of pure instinct here.

“Oh shit.” Marie blurted out and I opened my eyes to a hallway lined with doors… and a mural of the woods. Fuck. It all felt a little too familiar.

“Hey Jordan.”

“Hmm, oh.” Jordan left my embrace and looked around the new location, slightly trying to avoid Andre, Marie and Gemma’s eyes.

“This is The fucking Woods.” I stuttered out as I started to massage the inside of my wrists.

“What I don’t get is how we saw my memory, not Cate’s.” Jordan said as we stopped marveling at our surroundings. “It’s like all of our collective shit is blending together.”

“That means bad things for us.” Gemma added as she leaned against the hellish mural. God that thing gave me the creeps. Those little beady eyes seemed to be following my every move.

“How about we talk about your shit, Jordan?”

“Yeah!”

“Marie, Andre, come on!” I exclaimed as the tingle in my head resurfaced. Something was really wrong. 

“No, I-I’m sorry okay? I bought into all of Brink’s bullshit and propaganda. I didn’t want to see the fact that he was just like Shetty. Fuck this place! Come on, Vic.” Jordan pulled out one of their hands from their pocket and encased mine before starting to walk down the hallway.

“I’m going to make it right… for Luke.”

“Ow, fuck!” I exclaimed as a sharp pain went through my body. It felt like my brain was being smashed against a cement wall over and over again.

“Vic!” Everyone shouted as everything became blurry. I turned around and looked through the open doorway. And suddenly things started to flood in. I knew these rooms. I knew the fucking mural.

“I-I’m fine. Just a small headache is all?”

“You sure?” I nodded stiffly and turned to look back into the room.

In the room, laying side by side were Luke and Sam. Both hooked up to some kind of machine. As Marie, Gemma and Andre joined us they each let out a gasp.

“What the fuck is going on? What are you fucking doing to me?” Luke yelled out as he sat up instantaneously.

“Hurry.”

“Sam! Sam!”

“Luke! Sam! Fucking stop. Open this door. Open the fucking door.” A familiar voice screamed out, muffled slightly by something. Slipping away from the group I walked over to the only other open door in the hallway.

Peering into the room a scream tore through my body. Lying, tied down like a lamb to the slaughter was me. A fucking muzzle like the one worn by Hannibal Lecter was encasing the lower half of my face.

My natural brunette locks lay messily around memory me as she thrashed and screamed. The first person to reach me was Jordan. I stood frozen with a horrified expression on my face, no longer breathing.

I could distantly feel Jordan shaking my shoulders, the rest of the group soon joining him. But I felt like I wasn’t in my body anymore.

Memories seemed to corrode my very sense of self. Snippets of previous conversations, standing in the middle of a sea of dead people, my dad yelling in my face… all of the fucking experiments.

The only thing that actually seemed to bring me back to my body was the sound of Dean Shetty’s voice ringing like nails on a chalkboard through my brain.

“Oh my God, Cate, please go shut her up!”

“But-”

“It’s probably what’s making Luke worse. Please.”

“Yeah uh okay.”

I watched as the blonde made her way into my grimy little cell and carefully placed just her fingertips to my forehead. Memory me seemed like she was trying to bite Cate but the fucking muzzle stopped her. I-I didn’t feel like that person but she was me. I was her. 

“You are going to forget about Luke and Sam. You are going to forget the torture. Please forget.” Cate said the last two sentences in a much lower voice, making memory me’s face instantly calm and Cate made her way out of the cell.

“Vic? Victoria? Are you okay?”

“Andre! What the fuck kind of question is that?” Jordan screamed at Andre before turning to me. They let out a sigh of relief when he realized I was kind of back.

“Vic?”

“Yeah Jordan.”

“What do you need from me?”

“A hug would be nice.”

“Of course, darling. Come here.” I weakly smile and put my arms around them, letting my face (which was still somehow devoid of tears) burrow into the soft fabric of their shirt.

“Victoriaaaa. Vickyyy. Viccc.” I hear the sound of my name coming out of my own mouth, well memory me - who no longer had a muzzle muffling her words. I take a deep breath, inhaling Jordan’s calming scent before pushing myself up and walking into the cell.

“You called?”

“I’m actually surprised you didn’t totally break. I mean look at me, we are cuckoo crazyyy.”

“Victoria, we are not.”

“Oh really? I thought you saw my little exchange with your dearest friend Catey.”

“Victoria…”

“Aww you care about the little supe don’t you? Even after you realize everything that she did to you.”

“She had her reasons…”

“Did you ever even think about the fucking time gaps in your memory? You’ve been in this damn cell for months now. Dearest dad put you in here and left you to fucking die.”

“And yet here I am.”

“Yes, there you are. Still sucking up to the fucks that run the school. You are stronger than you think you are, Victoria.”

“I-”

“No more time to talk. Need to go burrow back into your subconscious. I really wouldn’t want us to die.”

“Us?”

“You and me, are the same person but…” Before the girl could speak anymore the room dissolved into an office space and everyone was left to stand in front of Shetty and Brink.

“Vic, if you-” Marie started to say before I turned to look at her.

“Look can we just not talk about it? Shit happened. It’s in the past. We move on.”

“Victoria…”

“God, Andre no. I don’t want to hear from you right now.” I exclaim before I feel a strong weight around my shoulders. It’s lighter than Jordan… it was Gemma.

“Hey.”

“Hey. I’m really fucking sorry.”

“Same, my dad is worse than I thought.” I say as I let out a deprecating chuckle. Fuck me. 

“Vic…”

“Yeah I know.” I feel Gemma’s weight disappear before I’m pulled into Jordan’s side. Their arm feels safe. They just feel safe.

During my tiny spiral I didn’t realize that the memory had ended and now we were standing in front of a white door. We weren’t even standing in the office anymore… instead I felt myself being slightly dragged towards the door.

“Wait, we can’t- I know this place.”

“Marie…” She opens the door and we are suddenly greeted with a murder scene. Marie’s parents. Shit. 

I zone out once again, everything feels so numb. Like the world is sort of foggy. I watch distantly as Marie talks to her sister and then randomly starts screaming at Cate? God, smarten the fuck up Victoria. No time for your little breakdowns right now.

The next thing I know we’re back in Cate’s childhood bedroom and I’m staring right at her. Her eyes are red from crying and her hair is kind of a mess.

“You shouldn’t be here!”

“But we are. We’ve been trying to wake you up.” Marie says, trying to keep her tone as calm as possible. Jordan still has their arm around me and I cuddled into his side.

“Look, you can all go now, I’ll let you wake up.”

“Come on, Cate. Let’s all just wake up and get the fuck out of here.” Jordan said with a hurried tone.

“Yeah, Cate. Come on. We can go binge a bunch of Soldier Boy movies if you want?” I finally manage to say in a low voice.

“I’ll join!” Gemma adds.

“Fucking hell, Vic how are you still nice to me after everything you know?”

“Cate, it’s fine. I forgive you okay? I. forgive. you. We’re all a little fucked up okay? You’ve shown us that.” I sent her a strained smile as energy seemed to be zapped from my very soul. I slightly lose my footing, and instead try to hold onto Jordan’s arm for balance.

“I don’t want to wake up.” My heart dropped, the first tear of the night finally slipped from my eyes and I quickly wiped it away. The fog was starting to leave the sides of my eyes.

“No. Fuck that. Cate, you don’t get to be selfish here. It doesn’t fucking matter what you want.”

“Andre… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t get to be sorry, it doesn’t cut it. Do you think you can just stay here and forget all your fucking problems? Fucking Victoria just figured out her entire life has basically been a lie. So, fuck you.”

“Andre… don’t you dare use my problems to state your fucking point but other than that I agree. Cate you have to come with us. We’re in this together.” My voice started out with a passionate amount of anger before it mellowed into something softer. 

“You fucking burrowed into my brain. You manipulated all of us. And- and I know you had your reasons and I wish you had done something different. Because I fucking love you and I wish I didn’t but I do, even if I won’t trust you ever again. You have a choice now, you finally have a fucking choice. So wake the fuck up.” 

A moment later I feel myself on the carpet, my gloves are back on my hands and the itchy feeling is back. It’s almost welcoming. Then it all comes flooding back. God my entire fucking life. I bring my hand up to feel the skin of my lower face. It’s almost like I could feel the fucking muzzle still on me. 

I push myself off the floor and look around at the face’s of my friends. I actually had friends now, no wonder I never had them before - being basically stuck in a torture chamber for months on end. I watch as Cate looks at Andre, completely defeated by his anger. I turn to look at Jordan and find them already looking at me. They smile weakly and I answer back with a pained expression before a few tears start falling from my eyes. Fuck.

“Vic, come-” I walk over to him and just hug them as sobs start ripping through my vocal cords. I feel them shift and let out a weak chuckle before looking up at her joyous expression.

“We’re back.” Everyone lets out a collective gasp of relief as I try to pull away from Jordan, only for them to pull me into a one sided hug. I’m careful not to touch any of their exposed skin… the one good thing about that whole dream situation was that I could actually touch her. 

A moment later, the door bursts open and Emma walks in with Sam in tow.

“Oh thank God you guys are still here.”

“Holy shit you actually found him.” A memory seems to resurface the moment Sam’s eyes meet mine.

“Ok favorite movie?” I ask through the little crack in the wall. I huddled against the cold tile and slightly moved the chains around my hands.

“Waterworld.”

“Huh? Really? Never watched it.”

“WHAT? We need to.”

“Great, definitely scheduling a movie night soon.”

“You bet your ass.”

“Oh, we should invite Luke.”

“He’ll probably just want to watch Star Wars.”

“I mean can you blame him? It’s one of the best movie franchises out there.”

“Ok fine, Vics. I agree with you.”

“Yes I finally did it, Sammy. You owe me 10 dollars.”

“What!”

I’m brought back to reality only to find multiple people trying to hold Sam back from getting to Cate. My eyes widened and I was almost tempted to jump into the fray when I remembered our secret signal.

“Sammy, white rabbit.” He instantly stopped struggling and turned towards me with an awed expression on his face.

“Vics.”

“Sammy.” He rushes towards me as shouts echo from the group but instantly stop when he engulfs me in a hug. 

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“Missed you too. God you look so fucking old.” I said as I pulled away from him and got a good look at his features.

“That’s what happens with time. So you remember now?”

“Everything?”

“Everything.”

“Fuck, Vics. I’m sorry.”

“Hey I’m sorry about Luke. You know you two were like brothers to me.”

“Wait- you’re? Huh?” Emma’s expression morphed through different stages of confusion.

“Oh right we should probably catch you up Emma. Well I just kind of found out that I was down there. The Woods with Sam… and Luke.”

“You mean that- how did you not remem- Oh Cate…”

“Yup.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry.” I shrug as everyone starts to gather around a nervous looking Cate.

“Look, I know that you might never trust me again but I want to try.” Cate said as Sam continued to look at her with a murderous expression on his face.

“We know that so why don’t you start by telling us what The Woods is?” Marie asked with a reassuring smile on her face.

“They were using Sam to augment Luke’s powers and Vic too. Actually I’m not entirely sure why you were in there in the first place.” Cate said as she swiveled over to me. “They were doing all kinds of weird stuff to them.”

“Not just us. There are other kids down there as well.” Sam added. 

“Wait, so what were they doing to you down there?”

“Bad shit.” I said at the same time as Sam. 

“Shetty hates us.” Sam added. 

“She was directing it all.” Cate said, agreeing with Sam.

“So she has to be the answer. Remember, there is no going back if we do this.” Marie said, with a slightly ominous tone lacing her voice.

“I don’t have much else to lose.” I say cheerily, making Cate cringe back and Jordan look over at me again. This time with a pretty concerned look on their face.

“I saw we do this thing. They need to pay.”

so... yeah. hopefully u enjoyed that little insight into vic's past. if you've seen my post about her powers lowkey being sentient - that's who was kind of talking to her - like it's her but it's not? ANYWAYS that was really fun to write for some reason, I got a bunch of inspo yesterday. lmk if u want to be added to the taglist and hopefully everything is still pretty canon compliant and makes sense lol.

taglist: @neapolitantoebeans @scorchedfangirl @losers-club6 @vvyuqi @bubblebuttwade @fix5idiots @ponypickle @nellyboosworld

#gen v #gen v fanfic #gen v amazon #gen v spoilers #andre anderson #jordan li #marie moreau #luke riordan #golden boy #the boys #the boys fanfic #the boys tv #oc fic #gen v tv #victoria oaks #maria writes #the boys series #the boys amazon #cate dunlap #emma meyer

[everyoneseesaghost]

penélope cruz and cate blanchett i love women

#can't stop won't stop #look at them #cuties #if cate touched my arm i would collapse #cate blanchett #penélope cruz #carol (2015) #oceans 8

[ibelongtonegan]

Perfect Enemy (Negan/OFC slow burn) – Chapter 3: True Lies

Yay, finally another chapter! I’m sorry it took me forever to continue this story, but my muse has been all over the place recently. To anyone still following this fic: thank you from the bottom of my heart for your support and I hope you enjoy the new chapter.

Summary: when Cate starts sneaking into the Sanctuary to steal supplies from the Saviors, she does it just for sport. But after being captured by Negan it soon turns into a dangerous game of cat and mouse where she has two choices: kneel or break. Brave and stubborn, Cate has no intention to yield, but she might have just met her match in Negan…

Characters: Negan x Cate (OFC)

Word count: 3,581

Warnings: angst, blood, swearing, violence

Tags (tagging my forevers and those who expressed interest in this fic at some point): @negans-network​​, @emoryhemsworth​​, @ridingmoxley-blog​​, @ladysyn, @i-am-negan-trash, @sleepylunarwolf​​, @letsby​​, @letsbys-library​​​, @tatertotandcassie​​, @ofxallxwexlost​​, @jdmorganz​​, @iluvneganandjamie​​, @haleyea​​, @someslugthings​​, @cockslut-padalecki​​, @superblychaoticdragon​​, @negans-wife​​, @ly--canthrope​​, @destielstuffandthings​​, @sweetpeaflower01​​ , @fangasm202, @buttercandy16​​​, @feedthemadness-sweetie​​​

If you would like to be tagged in the upcoming chapters or wish to be added to my forever tag list, please let me know!

I appreciate feedback and most days don’t bite. So don’t be shy, please feel free to comment, message or ask me anything!

[PERFECT ENEMY MASTERLIST]

× × × × ×

The first sense that returned to Cate was smell, as the strong odor of disinfectant and medicine filled her nose. It felt like she was floating in a vast, dark ocean, swayed gently by the waves. Her eyelids cracked open, a blurry hospital room coming into view in the dim light filtering through the blinds. She was too tired to move and was about to doze off again when the sound of approaching footsteps pulled her back to consciousness.

She slipped out of the bed on shaky legs, the searing pain at the back of her head making her stomach churn. A tube was leading from her right arm to a bag of clear liquid that was attached to a rusty pole. She fumbled with the gauze around the needle with trembling fingers when her knees gave out and she collapsed on the floor, just as the steps came to a halt outside and the doorknob started to turn.

“She is still unconscious, sir,” a man called hurriedly from the other side of the corridor. The knob stopped halfway, then slowly returned to its original position.

“What’s wrong with her?”

The other voice was deep, gruff, and somewhat familiar, but she could not place it.

“She has a concussion and is dehydrated, but with enough rest and proper nutrition she will be fine.”

“When can I talk to her?” the grumpy one pressed further.

“It’s hard to tell. Maybe tomorrow.”

There was a moment of pause. The reply did not seem to please the man in charge.

“You let me know the minute she wakes up, doc,” the order left no room for argument, and was followed by heavy boots marching away.

The door creaked open and a thin, balding man wearing a white lab coat stepped inside. Spotting Cate curled up on the ground he almost dropped the wooden crate under his arm as he rushed to her side, but she jerked away from his touch, suddenly all too aware that she was wearing only a bra and panties under her paper-thin hospital gown.

“I’m Doctor Carson and you are at the Sanctuary,” he stepped back to give her some space. “You took quite a hit to the head and were out all day. I was starting to get worried.”

She raised her arm to examine the injury, but the IV line restricted her movement. 

“You drugged me?” she croaked, her tongue feeling like sandpaper.

“It’s only saline to replenish the fluids and minerals you have lost.”

It offered Cate little comfort that the label on the plastic bag corroborated the doctor’s words. Luckily, Carson’s medical opinion was that the infusion was no longer necessary. After helping her back in bed, he pulled on a pair of rubber gloves, removed the needle, and covered the puncture wound with a bandage.

“Your clothes were beyond saving, so I brought you new ones,” he pointed at the crate. “I hope they will fit.”

The man poured her a glass of water that she emptied in three gulps before asking for a refill.

“Where is my backpack?”

“That you will have to discuss with Negan.”

The name brought back memories of the previous night. Passing through the forest, the chase, kneeling in front of the cocky asshole with the baseball bat. The pictures were foggy, but she now knew who the voice from the corridor belonged to.

“He is very insistent on talking to you. I could buy you some time but won’t be able to hold him back much longer.”

The doctor pulled out a stool from under the bed and sat down next to her.

“I would like to ask you a couple of questions about your health and examine you.”

Cate traced the zigzag pattern of the blanket with her fingertips as if looking for the way out of a maze. Even if Carson had been nothing but kind to her, trust was a luxury she could not afford.

“Everything you tell me stays between us in accordance with doctor-patient confidentiality, and the examination is standard procedure for newcomers to rule out injuries and diseases.”

She searched the man’s face for any sign of deceit, but finding none, nodded slightly.

True to his word, Carson asked only about her physical and mental health, and while Cate provided no more information than necessary, she answered every question truthfully. After noting down her responses, he checked her temperature, blood pressure and reflexes, then examined her head, humming knowingly when the touch of a tender spot elicited a groan from her.

“Can you tell me the last thing you remember?”

The doctor stood up and walked over to a glass cabinet giving her time to peruse her surroundings. There were two more beds to her right, unoccupied and spotlessly made. A large desk stood in the far corner with piles of medical books on it, other than that the room was clean and simple, all gray walls and metal surfaces.

“I’m in a clearing...there are soldiers around me…and this guy is babbling all the time,” she rubbed her temples, feeling her headache worsen.

“It will all come back with time, don’t worry.”

Carson returned with pill bottles of various sizes and placed them on the bedstand.

“Iron and vitamins. Take one before every meal.”

The mere mention of eating made Cate’s stomach rumble loudly, much to the doctor’s amusement. He retrieved a vacuum flask from the crate, unscrewed the lid and handed it to her.

“I thought we should start with liquids, and gradually move on to solid food.”

Cate peeked inside and sniffed at the rim suspiciously. Tiny puffs of steam rose from the flask carrying a rich aroma. Taking a tentative sip, she moaned out loud as the salty taste of broth spread on her tongue, and she gulped down her first proper meal in weeks greedily. After slurping up every last drop she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and mumbled a ‘thank you’ under her breath.

“The restroom is just across the hallway, and my office is the first door on the left. I’ll come back to check on you later,” Carson promised. “Try to get some rest.”

Cate only allowed herself to relax when the doctor’s footsteps faded away completely on the corridor. She laid back on the pillow and pulled the blanket up to her chin drifting into a dreamless sleep.

× × × × ×

She woke up the next morning feeling significantly better. The nausea was gone, her headache lessened to a dull throb, and the fever also subsided. Carson was willing to lift his strict bed rest order for maximum half an hour deeming his patient fit enough to visit the bathroom while he fetched her breakfast.

Stepping into the large shower area Cate was glad to find it empty. She stripped and stepped into the last stall, pulling the plastic curtain closed. The pipes were rattling before the first drops appeared, but the water was clean and surprisingly warm. Despite Carson’s instructions to use the shower sparingly she could not help indulging in the simple pleasure of standing under the stream for a good minute with her eyes closed, letting the memory of bathing in ice-cold rivers and muddy ponds float down the drain. She soaped herself three times and emptied half a bottle of shampoo to wash off all the dirt and grime of months of forest life.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she walked over to the row of sinks on the opposite wall to study her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were pale and hollow, dark circles framed her eyes, and her hair was a tangled mass, but it was her. A little more tired, and much more hardened, but still her.

After drying herself she put on the white t-shirt and grey sweatpants Carson had brought her from the commissary and tiptoed out on bare feet, leaving the humid air of the bathroom behind.

On the way back she wondered what Carson would bring her for breakfast and her mouth watered as images of various options crossed her mind. Opening the door to the infirmary, however, there was no sign of the doctor. A man wearing a black leather jacket was sitting in his place with his long legs propped up on the freshly changed bed. A baseball bat laid in his lap next to the clipboard with her medical records. His lips widened into a wolfish grin at her sight, showing two rows of perfect white teeth that were practically glowing in the morning light.

Cate froze in the doorway, feeling her heart hammering in her chest. Instinct told her to run, but in her current state she had little chance to make it to the fence and zero past it, and she wasn’t going to give this man the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable. If the bastard thought that he had her under his thumb now, he was in for a surprise. Squaring her shoulders, she stepped into the room to face her captor and whatever he had in store for her.

× × × × ×

Negan was at a loss for words momentarily, an unfamiliar sensation stirring within him. He didn’t know what to expect after their eventful first meeting in the forest, but it was certainly not this. He looked Cate up and down with unabashed interest, as if he had been observing an exotic animal. She leaned against the doorframe, crossing her arms across her chest, and glared at him with open hostility.

“Who are you?”

He raised an eyebrow, feeling the embers of Lucille’s anger spark to life. Despite her partial amnesia he hoped to have had made as much of a lasting impression on her, as she had had on him.

“Well, hello there, wildcat. Don’t tell me that you have forgotten our one-on-one the other night. I sure as shit haven’t.”

She shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes betrayed her as they landed on his right temple.

“Oh, you remember this, don’t you?” Negan gritted his teeth. “Your little stunt cost me six fucking stitches,” he pointed at the cut that based on Carson’s prediction was going to leave a permanent scar.

“Come on, I won’t bite. I even got you breakfast,” he motioned towards the tray on the bed as a temporary peace offering. 

It was Carson who had brought the food of course, Negan only hijacked it from him in the corridor. The doctor tried to argue, but one stern look was enough to make him scurry back to his office. He had been annoyingly overprotective of the little wildcat and had successfully kept him from seeing her claiming that she was not fit enough yet to have visitors, until Negan decided to take matters into his own hands.

He had gone through Cate’s backpack first thing after returning to the Sanctuary, and once more last night, but the contents had raised more questions than answers. The entries in her diary were vague and offered no clues as to where she had been from. Carson’s diagnosis confirmed that she was malnourished and anemic, besides some bruises and a burn scar there was nothing worth mentioning though. Whichever community she had belonged to, she must have left abruptly, and the mysterious circumstances made Negan even more eager to find out the truth.

Now that she was standing before him, his curiosity was peaked due to another reason. He checked her out lazily, getting his first good look at her in daylight. She was tall and lean, yet toned, with curves in all the right places. She was a redhead, not the ginger kind like Frankie, but darker, with tiny freckles dotting her skin around her cheeks and nose. The water dripping from her hair created a sheer spot on her t-shirt revealing to him that she was braless and cold, her nipples poking through the fabric. Letting his imagination run wild with the possibilities he stamped his “hot as fuck”-seal of approval in the miscellaneous section of her medical chart. If she had been an ordinary stray, he would have asked her to marry him on the spot.

A flash of pain snapped him out of his fantasy. He was absentmindedly playing with Lucille when one of her barbs bit into his flesh as a silent reminder that the purpose of his visit was to interrogate and then punish the little thief for breaking into the Sanctuary, taking his stuff, and trying to carve him up like a goddamn Thanksgiving turkey. He reluctantly tucked himself mentally back into his pants and cleared his throat to focus back on the plan.

Cate was oblivious to his rampant thoughts and padded to the bed, the perpetual scowl never leaving her face. He followed the sway of her hips as she climbed up on the mattress and sat down cross-legged. She was about to dig into the bowl of steaming porridge when he stopped her with a shake of his head.

“Ah-ah, not so fast, wildcat. You haven’t earned it yet.”

Her head snapped up, eyes cold as ice. 

“I’m not gonna suck your cock for a bowl of soggy oats,” she hissed and tossed the spoon on the tray.

Negan’s gaze went to her mouth unconsciously, feeling the blood rush to his groin. The little brat was baiting him on purpose, and he was falling for it anyway. She was trouble with a capital T, and if he wanted to get her under control, he had to step up his game. Lucille, however, was not in the mood to play and demanded immediate disciplinary action, more than ready to act as jury, judge, and executioner.

“Hot damn!” he clicked his tongue. “Here I thought we were going to start this out nice and PG, and you are trying to get into my pants already? Sadly, business comes first,” he winked at her lewdly, “and the questions I want answers to.”

Cate rolled her eyes at him in exasperation.

“I already told the doctor everything.”

“I don’t care about your blood type or vaccination history,” he uncrossed his legs and leaned forward in his chair. “For every answer you get one spoon of oatmeal in return. Deal?”

She continued playing hard to get for a few seconds before giving in with a pout, just as Negan had intended.

“How long did you live out there on your own?”

He knew the approximate answer from her diary already but wanted to test her credibility.

“About five months.”

Without waiting for approval Cate picked up the spoon, filled it to the brim and shoveled it into her mouth.

“What happened to your community?”

A look of panic crossed her features before her resting bitch face slipped back on.

“There was a riot.”

Another spoonful disappeared between her lips in the blink of an eye, as if she had been afraid that the food was going to be taken from her any minute. A drop dripped down her chin that she collected with her thumb and licked off.

“You are a damn messy eater, you know that?” Negan frowned at her lack of table manners.

“Uh-huh,” she mumbled and had the cheek to scoff at him when he did not reward her answer with another bite. Lucille was sharpening her barbs at her audacity, but he soothed her with a caress along her spine and moved on to the next question on his list.

“Show me the location,” he took the map from his jacket pocket and unfolded it on the blanket.

Cate stopped munching and gulped hard, evidently caught off guard. Fidgeting on the mattress she scanned the wrinkled road map of the great state of Virginia for a few moments then pointed at a spot in the middle of nowhere.

Negan clenched his jaw and inhaled deeply through his nose. His patience was wearing thin from an impending migraine, and he had left the aspirin in his room.

“Bullshit,” he snarled, his voice dangerously low. “We have an outpost nearby and my men have checked every nook and cranny in that area. They found no trace of a settlement.”

He snatched her wrist with his gloved hand to prevent her from scooping up another bite.

“I don’t give a flying fuck if you are trying to hide something or protect someone, but you are lying. I want to know everything about your community. Where they are, how many people live there and what supplies they have.”

Cate glowered at him clutching the spoon as if she was going to carve his heart out with it. Negan had her right where he wanted her, and it was only a matter of time before she told him everything. They could have a scavenger team ready within the hour, but Simon would not be back from the satellite station until nightfall. He preferred to have his right-hand man by his side when taking over a new community.

His battle plans were however rudely interrupted when instead of surrender Cate chose to shit in his scrambled eggs and reaching for the tray with her free hand snaked her fingers around the handle. Negan opened his mouth to warn her to back off, but before he could utter a word, she pulled the object to her side of the bed. He gripped the other handle, holding onto it like his life depended on it, and soon enough they ended up in a twisted game of tug of war, both trying to yank the tray to their side of the imaginary field. Lucille was pacing up and down on the side like an agitated panther, watching the scene unfold. 

A minute into their Mexican standoff, Cate changed tactic and went for the bowl itself, but Negan blocked her attempt by ripping out the tray from her hand with a smug sneer. His victory was however short-lived when the momentum sent the porcelain bowl sliding along the smooth surface before it tipped over the edge and landed face-down on the cheap linoleum, shattering into pieces and spilling oatmeal everywhere.

The silence that followed was deafening before all hell broke loose. The fury of Lucille coursed his veins like liquid fire and Negan finally allowed her to fully take the reins. He jumped from the chair sending it flying backward and grabbing Cate by the throat slammed her against the wall with a dull thud.

“Listen carefully, wildcat, because it looks like you didn’t get the fucking memo,” he growled in her face, his nostrils flaring. “You are mine now. The clothes on your body, the food in your belly, even the air you are breathing IS…FUCKING…MINE!!!”

Cate tried to fend him off, but was no match to his strength, and her body dangled helplessly in his hold like a rag doll, her tiptoes sweeping the floor.

“If you try to outsmart me, I will beat you to it. If you cross me, I will make you regret it. And do not even think about escaping, because I will catch you, drag your ass back here, throw you in my deepest, darkest cell and then flush the key down the drain. Do you fucking understand?”

A quiet cough came from behind him.

“Sir…”

Negan recognized the mousy voice of Carson but did not acknowledge him in any way. He must have heard the commotion from his office, if he was not lurking outside the door already. Negan thought that if he ignored him, he was going to go away, but the doctor seemed to have grown a pair of balls and did not budge.

“May I remind you that Cate had suffered head trauma and needs to rest? Cutting off her oxygen supply can cause serious damage to her brain and even suffocation. I would recommend that you find another method of interrogation that will not leave her incapacitated or dead.”

The words slowly cut through the haze of red as Cate’s face came into focus before him, contorted in agony, her eyes bulging and a thin trail of blood dripping from her nose onto her T-shirt. He released her throat as if her skin had burnt him, and she dropped down like a sack of potatoes, coughing and gasping.

Negan stumbled back in confusion and bumped into the nightstand that got knocked over during the fight. Something crunched under his boots, but it was impossible to tell what from the debris that littered the floor. The walls were closing in on him and it felt like all the air was sucked out of his lungs. Spinning on his heel he noticed Lucille on the ground, forlorn and sulking after rolling off his lap in the heat of the moment. He made a mental note to himself to make it up to her later, but he had to get out of there before he did something he would regret. Careful only to touch her surface with his gloved hand he picked her up and hurried to the door.

“Have her clean this mess up,” he barked at the doctor over his shoulder. “And she doesn’t get anything to eat until dinner.”

He stormed out of the infirmary with long strides, desperate to put as much distance between him and his prisoner as possible. Lucille gaped at him, her barbs like dozens of question marks, but he paid her no mind, keeping his gaze fixed ahead. He badly needed a drink, and it was not even noon yet.

[TO BE CONTINUED]

#twd #walking dead #the walking dead #negan #jeffrey dean morgan #twd negan #negan smith #jdm #jdmorgan #twd fiction #negan fiction #the walking dead fiction #twd fan fiction #negan fan fiction #the walking dead fan fiction #twd slow burn #negan slow burn #the walking dead slow burn #negans thirst squad #negan's thirst squad #negans network #negan's network #negan x ofc #slow burn #perfect enemy

[marshunter06]

Sad Bitch- Łaszewo (Trentney)

A/N: Sorry I’ve been absent, but my brain has been a bitch lately... I never imagined I would be writing a fic like this, but I had to get it out. The reason why I do have such a soft spot for Trentney is because I have a Trent in my life to keep me grounded and I’m so grateful for him

To be a good artist means one must be burdened with great suffering especially at the hands of oneself. This may not apply to all the arts and typically not with singers, but Courtney understood this more than anyone in the industry. It was never her intention to be this way, dissociating while her manager tried to plan her next move, but the weight of her own thoughts were just too much to carry. Back when Total Drama was still a thing, she hid her depression well, she often exploded into anger to keep people out. No one would dare befriend a fiery volcano just waiting to erupt, no one besides him at least. With a touch of his hand, she was brought back to reality to listen to the meeting with their label. His smile and bright green eyes soothed her dark thoughts away briefly, enough to put on her persona as a successful pop princess. His hand stayed put, right next to hers barely touching. It brings a warm feeling into her heart and soon she’s lost in a daydream with him as the focus. Still the sadness starts to ease into her thoughts making doubts plague her mind. Was she foolish with possibly falling for her best friend? Was it smart to trust Trent with her heart so soon after her final breakup with Duncan? Would it even be the final breakup? Duncan, the name still leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. She still remembers everything about their failed relationship, every callous word thrown at each other without regard for the other’s feelings. A primes example of two toxic people made for each other. Their love always sizzled out leading to another prison both were too familiar to let go of. What happened to the young her who welcomed every change with a light in her eyes? Courtney doesn’t know when her old self died only to be reborn into a shell of who she was before, but when she finally realized what happened, it was too late.

“Court, you’re home.”

She blinks once then twice wondering when she got into his car. Her scenery magically changed from a corporate office to her newly purchased home.

“Here, I’ll walk you inside. I think I forgot my guitar pick anyways.”

“The silver one?”

“Yeah, did you find it?”

“No, I’ve been busy, sorry. It should be in the studio though.”

He simply smiles as he walks around to open her door; he doesn’t call her out on her obvious lie. She wasn’t busy, he’s been there with her as her demons pull her away from the real world, she just stares into nothingness. He tries to pull her out of it when possible, usually a nudge will do it, but sometimes the demons are too powerful to keep at bay for long. Lately it’s been worse. They’ve had to reschedule the label meeting several times already. He knows she’s heading down a dark path, it’s why he’s been making excuses to stay over despite him living an hour plus away due to LA traffic.

“Found it, you were right, it was on top of the piano.”

“Oh? Glad it’s not missing anymore, thanks for bringing me back by the way.”

“‘Course, can’t leave my fav girl stranded.”

“I would’ve been fine, really. You can go home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Is that a promise?”

“I never break my promises.”

He only hesitated slightly then nodded bidding her goodnight. It was already late, the moon high above the sky with stars twinkling around the crescent shaped light. He was almost out the door when he turned back to tell her to look outside.

“The moon is beautiful tonight.”

“You tell me this every night.”

“And I mean it everytime.”

“We couldn’t even see it a few nights ago.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not still beautiful.”

“Trent, I think you’ve been awake for too long. Get some sleep tonight.”

“You too. I’ll call when I get home, so you don’t worry.”

“You can just text me, I’ll still be up.”

“It’s better to hear your voice.”

“You hear it all the time, you should be sick of it.”

“You’re kidding right? I get the honor of listening to the greatest singer of our generation, how could I ever pass that opportunity up?”

“Are you talking about yourself again?”

This gets both of them to smile, he knows he’s succeeded in pushing away her sorrow for a moment. It won’t last long though, they both knew this. She can only hope she doesn’t call him crying again tonight. He’s been losing sleep because of her, still he never complains.

After he leaves, she tries her best to get ready for bed. She gets distracted a few times, just managing to slip under her covers by the time Trent calls her letting her know he made it home safely. She keeps the conversation short telling him she’s tired, he wishes her sweet dreams as she tells him good night. She lays in bed tossing and turning until she’s on her side facing her window with the just a glow of the moonlight seeping into her dark room. She closes her eyes willing sleep to take over, but her brain runs wild bringing her further into its abyss.

You’re going to be sad and alone forever.

Trent doesn’t love you, no one does, you couldn’t even keep Duncan.

Your parents are ashamed of you, you’re the reason they divorced.

Cate’s won’t talk to you because you’re too much to handle, your own sister hates you.

You’re only famous because no one’s caught on that you’re talentless yet, the whole world will shun you soon.

The only reason you have hits is because Trent’s the one writing the songs, when he leaves you’ll be nothing.

What’s it like being a hurtful bitch getting karma like you deserve?

Honestly Courtney, you’re pathetic, why do you even try? No one likes a sad bitch.

Everyone’s tired of how whiny you are, just stop with your lame excuses, who cares if you didn’t get sleep?

The self hatred goes on and on until she’s drowning in negative energy. She’s suffocating and breathing isn’t helping, she can’t take in air fast enough, the room feels too confined. She needs to get up and get out, but she can’t, she’s trapped. Tears stream out of her eyes as her body continues to be paralyzed, her heart is erratic and she can barely breathe. It’s too much, the walls are caving in and she can’t do anything to stop it. She closes her eyes again trying to fight back with happy thoughts, but she fails again and again as her mind continues to tell her how useless she is. She’s losing the battle, she just wants it to be quiet, but her thoughts ring loud and clear with every word cutting into her soul. Pain, so much pain leaving invisible scars all over her. If she waits long enough she’ll blackout from the pressure, she just has to focus on her breathing. In then out, in then out, she can do this, she promised she could…

Her eyes snap open and she’s able to move once more. Her first thought is to call him, she should’ve just asked him to stay. She’s always felt better in his arms, his regular heartbeat bringing her back to earth. Why didn’t he fight harder to stay this time? Was he really sick of her too? He’s just like the others, he can’t handle her. The kindest person she’s ever met and even he’s exhausted being near her. The misery takes over and all she wants is to drown herself in alcohol and cigarettes. All bad habits she learned from her ex, though to be fair, she didn’t take much persuading. She’s always known she has an addicting personality, it’s why she tried to stay sober, but she needed an escape. A bottle or two of wine wouldn’t be too bad. It was with this thought in mind that she decided to go into the living room for her secret stash of sherry’s. She rounds the corner heading to her hidden cabinet when she spots it: a silver guitar pick on the coffee table. She stops dead in her tracks.

“Trent.”

She sits on the ground as she cradles the pick rubbing over the letter “T” confirming it was his. She feels restless as she continues to stare at the precious item left behind for her sake. He knew. He must have. Why else would he leave the pick again? She closes her palm and holds it close to her chest, she has an overwhelming urge to do something. She wants to go to him, so she does, she doesn’t bother with a jacket, she simply follows her heart running out in the dead of night. She’s out the door in a flash clearly not thinking as she leaves her car behind and doesn’t lock her door. All she knows to do is keep moving forward as she jogs into a sprint. The cold air hits her bare arms and legs, but she isn’t bothered.

She makes it a block before her brain catches up telling her this is a bad idea; she starts to spiral down in her thoughts again. Do you even know where you’re going Courtney? You’re such an idiot, you just moved. How do you know the way to his house already? He obviously doesn’t want you to disturb him, he’s never invited you over since you moved. Stop with your delusions, Trent doesn’t like you, he only puts up with you because you work together. What are you going to do now? You’re lost. You’re going to lose him just like how you lost everyone else in your life. Face it Courtney, you’re just a loser. All you do is waste time.

She collapses on the hard concrete scraping her knee in the process. She nearly drops the pick in her hands as she hides her face with tears streaming down her cheeks. She doesn’t know what to do and now she’s blinded by a bright light. She drops her hands, it wasn’t the moonlight nor the streetlight, so it must be a headlight. It’s the middle of the night, no one should be out driving in this neighborhood. She should get up and go back home, but she’s lost the strength. She’s not even slightly afraid as the car approaches closer. It slows to a stop right next to her as she continues to stare forward. She doesn’t hear him when he calls out to her. She’s tired and cold, all she wants to do is close her eyes. She opens her eyes when she feels a warm jacket draped over her engulfing her in a familiar scent.

“Sorry I’m late, didn’t realize you wanted to go jogging.”

“Trent?”

“Hey Court.”

He says her name with a smile, he doesn’t question her on why she was out in her pajamas at nearly three in the morning sitting on the ground. He helps her up and into the passenger seat as he drives them back to her place. He doesn’t yell at her, his voice is calm and gentle when he tells her she’s home. She removes her seatbelt and that’s when she notices the duffel bag in the back seat. He catches her gaze explaining immediately even though he would never ask her to tell him what went wrong.

“It’s just some spare clothes. I was going to leave it in the car. I figure I might be here a while since we’re going to start on the new album tomorrow… or today rather.”

“You can bring it inside. I don’t mind.”

“You sure?”

She nods. He smiles at her again as he grabs the duffle in one hand with the other holding hers as they walk back inside her place. He doesn’t scold her on leaving her door ajar and unlocked. Once inside is when he notices the scrape on her knee. He immediately heads to the bathroom to grab the medical kit to help clean her wound. When she’s all patched up, he places a kiss on her bandaid as if it was the most natural thing to do. He notices her surprise.

“Sorry, Mom always did that for me whenever I got hurt. It took the pain away.”

She doesn’t say anything, she just opens her left hand where the pick had been the entire time. He takes it from her understanding that she was okay for now. When he looks at her again she’s overcome with another intense feeling, one that she never thought she would feel again so quickly. Panic starts to rise within as her brain feeds her false information. He pulls her out of the darkness as he wraps his arms around her keeping her safe and secure. The intruding fear leaves as she calms down. She pushes him away when his embrace becomes too much, he scoots over to give her more space.

“Are you ready to go to sleep Court?”

“Almost. I know it’s late, but I want to write for a bit. You can go to sleep first.”

“Inspiration strikes at any time. I’ll stay up with you.”

She pulls out her notebook armed with purple ink as it spills out on the page. He doesn’t interrupt, as she continues to put words on paper. It’s not often that she gets to write herself. She writes down all her haunting thoughts and with each line she feels a bit more healed. It’s therapeutic in a way, she wonders why she never did this in the first place, it would’ve saved her a lot more heartache. She passes him the notebook when she’s finished, he scans through the words until he reaches the end. He looks back up at her with a smile and a promise.

We've all been hurt before

If all's fair in love and war

What are we fighting for?

Baby, had the good intentions

Couldn't face another change of direction

Tell me what's the method to your madness

I'm just a fucking sad bitch, show me you can handle it

Save me from my own reflection

I can't take this tight rope tension

Tell me what's the method to your madness

I'm just a fucking sad bitch, show me you can handle it

A/N: This is only a glimpse of how I feel, I didn’t want to make the fic more dark, but it did to write it out. If anyone else is in the same boat know you’re not alone and that you can beat this. I’m still here and you here too.

#trentney #sfs #depression tw #it’ll be ok and maybe I can find more normal inspiration #sad bitch summer let’s not make this a trend

[threshprince]

Burning Bright

Word count:  2,165

Summary:  Karissa has a secret she's been keeping from Eddie and the Symbiote... and has now peaked the interested of the fearsome God of the Symbiotes: Knull has returned to this world to take it. Can she stop Knull from using her gift to destroy the universe?

Notes: A Self Indulgent Selfshipping Fanfic with Eddie and the Venom Symbiote!  I've wanted to write something involving Knull for quite a while and that time is now! I know some people dislike the run but I'm simply enthralled by it and love it. It's something I'm very much into and sometimes wish more people were so I wanted to pay homage to it in some kind of way! Thank you Donny Cates, Ryan Stegman and the rest of the team for the amazing (and heart-wrenching) story so far! All in all, enjoy~

Burning Bright is also on AO3

Chapter One: Tenebris

God Is Coming.

Those three simple words altered the course of the future once more.

A gasp escaped her bolting upwards from the mattress feeling the sweat roll off of her. Karissa grasped at the sheets trying to ground herself to the fact that it had been just a dream. Her muscles tensed and her knuckles white she gazed out into the night sky that only garnered a peek of the stars from the apartment window.

Her eyes wearily turned to the body next to her as her sudden movement didn't seem to wake him. Good thing, as he surely needed the rest. Though otherworldly ivory eyes gleamed in the light that did pour through the window at her.

They were safe. They both were.

It was just a dream.

The viscous being brought their thin head over to her making a bizarre questioning noise that was akin to a trill or a purr. Their mass began to slowly envelop her shaky form giving Karissa the comfort she needed in that time.

"I'm okay, dearest... I'm okay... just a nightmare." Karissa cradled the Symbiote against her bosom gently tracing their skin with her nails. Their eyes squinted in content as they noticed how worked up she had gotten. They could sense the tenseness within and coaxed her to lay back down with thin appendages.

Her head was still fogged with dread as if an ominous threat was looming over her head. Despite the Symbiote's light nuzzles bringing her back to reality she still felt herself tremble. She had never had that vivid of a dream in her life.

Especially with one that was supposed to be still imprisoned.

Swallowing thickly she allowed her muscles to calm even if they trembled and stared at Eddie as he slept soundly. She hoped that she wouldn't have to worry about them as much as she did. Considering the incident with a god Eddie had gradually been working on the mental strain that it caused him.

She allowed herself to settle and felt the drowsiness overtake her being as exhaustion set in.

-

A piercing roar jolted her from her hour long slumber as it cracked the sky. She awoke in panic hoping it was just her imagination frantically darting her eyes around the room. Shifting in her arms she felt the Symbiote shift their head upwards to her.

A look of dread painted her face realizing their once pure eyes were now a bloody crimson. Their voice distorted as if being commanded to say so.

"GOD IS COMING."

"No-!" Came the voice of Eddie from her side as he looked just as petrified. "No this can't be happening..."

Karissa watched warily as the Symbiote drifted towards the window to peer out muttering in their alien language. It was as if they were being drawn to it as she desperately held them back from it.

"Dear no!" Karissa cried out trying to get them to snap out of it.

"No dammit! Not again! He shouldn't be here!" Eddie bunched his fists up tightly trying to quell the rage and fear within him. Karissa sucked in a breath trying to calm the anxiety within her getting up to embrace him with the Symbiote between them both.

"You stay. We have to keep you safe at all costs, Karissa." Eddie murmured taking in the scent of her hair as if it were the last thing he would.

"I refuse! Last time you disappeared and almost were killed! I'm not going to lose you to him again!"

"We know you feel helpless... but we can't risk you getting hurt. You-"

A deafening screech came overhead as the apartment rumbled like an earthquake from the impact outside. Terrified screams filled the air as chaos seemed to ring through the streets. Clasping their ears from the roar she felt Eddie rip himself away from her in desperation.

"He's here! Stay inside, Karissa!" Eddie pleaded desperately in a hurry before the Symbiote reformed around him. Lunging through the window and letting the webbing that he had shot out to a surrounding building bringing him down to the source.

Everything was happening so fast as she wished she could heed his words. Her safety meant nothing if she didn't lend them some sort of help. Looking at her trembling hands she wondered if she finally had a chance to prove her worth and save them. The power she had within her all this time and had been practicing in secret. She could save them this time, she could with this power at her disposal.

Her legs carried her now to the door before swinging it open feeling another rumble shake the building. Karissa flinched and headed down the stairs as fast as her legs could take her. Tears welled up in her eyes trying to get herself down to the lobby as fast as she possibly could muster.

Out of breath she reached ground floor wearily leading herself outside as she was finally met with what was happening. The sight of her boyfriend being grounded as the Symbiote shielded his body. Knull looming above advancing him threateningly and against her better judgment she burst out into the street.

Feeling the heat within her palms and the warmth flood her core her eyes glowed white as she aimed her trembling hands towards the god.

"LEAVE THEM ALONE!"

A beam of light shot through her palms as it sped towards him but the trajectory had gone off course with how hard she had been shaking. Shooting past his shoulder and into the Grendel it screeched being hit. Knull faltered in pain with his approach as his chilling gaze rested upon her.

"Aren't you right on cue... you see, Eddie and I have been having a little chat all about you. I didn't expect you to come out of hiding however..." Knull sneered wickedly regaining his composure. "... How wonderful."

"K-Karissa!? What... how-? We told you to stay inside! You stay AWAY from her!" Eddie grit his teeth in fury getting back up to slash at him. The God simply caught his wrist effortlessly and threw him aside causing him to hit the brick of a surrounding building.

"How futile. It seems you won't learn to stay down, host. It's what you've been known for after all. I'll deal with you at a later date." Knull stated ominously before his gaze turned back to the shaken woman still standing her ground.

"Where were we before we were rudely interrupted? I suggest you listen well, My child... you too Eddie Brock."

His limb extended in a grotesque manner towards her rapidly as she panicked and shot another ray of light at him. His hand simply split in two avoiding the weaker attack as tendrils began wrapping themselves around her legs and arms faster than she could react.

"No! Let me go!" Karissa cried trying to struggle away before she was yanked forward into his embrace. Coils of himself keeping her trapped like a fly caught in a net as she trembled at his touch along her jawline.

"Yes, you are the one... such a powerful light emanating from you. I sensed you before on this earth when my presence was known here last. I had known you were close to my child. I saw you in the memories I had tried to burn... but it proved futile in the end." Knull preached on while she wavered in his grip. "This power was enough to wound me temporarily confirming my suspicions. This wretched light within you is a threat to my conquest... but, I have decided your powers could be of use to me as well. Your shine reaches far through the cosmos and pierces the void. You will be cleansed in my darkness personally as my weapon to further reclaim what is mine."

The Symbiote reformed around Eddie surging into a rage as they continued to listen on to this. It was as if Eddie's blood was boiling underneath the skin as Venom's form bulked up even further than it was before.

"YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING TO HER!!!"

Blinded like a bull ready to charge his muscles tensed as if he was only one hairpin away from tearing into the god. Though he knew he would have to tear Karissa away from his clutches. He couldn't fail her. He wasn't going to lose someone he loved twice to the hands of this repulsive being.

Charging forth he tore through the street he slammed into Knull swiping at him furiously to release her. His form was punctured and torn through yet never seem to lose grip on her.

"Having fun? You know this won't work... I'm far away from you. We've been over this, My child."

"DON'T PATRONIZE US!" Venom roared as Knull's shape-shifting form continued to shift away and keeping Karissa out of the onslaught of blows.

"You know you cannot touch me yet you still try... pitiful. Stay down where you belong." Knull's hand swiftly clamped against his skull as an ancient power flooded their collected mind. The Symbiote screeched feeling the burn that Knull was once again trying to inflict upon them as Eddie felt it tear through his psyche.

"STOP IT!" Karissa desperately sobbed out trying to struggle in his grasp but still being immobilized by Knull's mass.

Once Eddie's other split from him Knull had let go as they collapsed to their hands and knees in agony. Knull simply turned his heel to the Grendel as it opened up to invite their deity within. A tight tug made him stop in his tracks as Venom's claw clenched against the threads of fabric. "Still you fight the inevitable? You won't prevail." The threads began to slip away from his grip thinning and sliding from the cracks. Venom's grip now empty as his head stung and was still foggy with lingering pain.

"VENOM!!" Karissa screamed his name as the dragon stitched itself up for voyage obscuring vision from them.

The God Dragon made a mighty raucous screech as it rattled even the Symbiote that was grounded from the sound as it splayed it's wings for flight. Venom couldn't just lay there and shot a thick strand of webbing against the skin of the Grendel.

Pushing off the ground and beginning the rapid ascent Venom was tugged along into the sky holding on for dear life. The heavy gusts of wind covered the scream that he let aloud from how quick they had shot up into the atmosphere. He had to grab onto the hide if he wanted to save her struggling to fight the turbulence. There was a brief instance of black that covered around the webbing as the milky pearlescent eyes widened in horror. Snipping the webbing free they were now in free fall as the Grendel sped towards the stars and beyond the clouds into the stratosphere.

"KARISSAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Venom howled in agony as he desperately reached for the sky.

Falling back to Earth the sheer panic of trying to slow themselves down as buildings began to start to get closer. Venom shot out webbing to catch his fall as it latched onto the side of a building nearest to him. It stopped him from falling but the force of the stop made him fly back and upwards and hit the stone leaving a sizable crack. Almost like a bungee Venom was flung up and down a few times before settling and dangling.

They stayed together like this defeated as a numbing feeling set inside of them. Venom failed yet another person that he promised to always protect and keep safe. After an hour of dangling they both had the strength to finally swing towards a building to sit on the ledge staring at the bright lights of the city below. The sirens of police and ambulances a few blocks away from what happened with The Grendel.

They both said nothing to each other sharing their grief as a unit. No words needed to be spoken as Venom's claws dug into the limestone. The sun began to peek from the horizon as the dawn of a new day greeted them but they only wished it hadn't come. She wasn't here to see it with them.

The Symbiote peeled back from Eddie's head as silent tears fell from his cheeks. His outfit morphed out into the guilt riddled face of his Other as they pressed their forehead against his. Eddie's trembling hands came up to cradle their face hearing them made a high pitched noise of distress. Their minds ached as one from the after effects of Knull's power tearing through their collective conscious. They both held each other closely glad to be whole but knew the last piece of the puzzle was lost to them. Eddie cracked open his steel blue eyes as they were weary with fatigue and despair but yet had a newfound fire lit with clouded vengeance.

"We'll get her back, Love. We will."

#Webbed Hearts #Selfship #Selfshipping #Supia's Writing #Fanfic #Symbrock #Knull #Venom 2018 #Them Poly Triad Ship Feels #Here's the first chapter guys! #prepare for angst #I finally finished something its a christmas miracle #Venom x Self Insert #Eddie Brock x Self Insert

[ocean-in-my-rebel-soul]

Finding Home

For @softlyue​, in honor of her birthday today! Yue, you are one of my dearest friends, fandom or not, and I just simply adore you. It’s been so lovely to know you for however long we’ve known each other. <3 <3 <3

Rating: M Characters: Cate Merula (Yue’s OC) x Mateo (my OC) Wordcount: 2,961

Summary: After five years together, Cate and Mateo’s two-year contracts aboard the pirate ship The Song of the Sea ends. Mateo, ever the pragmatist, has some ideas of where to go after they dock for the final time... and a question.

Read on AO3!

===

A heavy knock at the door jarred Mateo out of his sleep. He spasmed, arm flailing from its position around Cate to the dagger that still slept under his pillow. 

“Up and at ‘em, lovebirds!” cackled a sharp voice from outside.

“Fuck off, ‘Shari,” Mateo muttered, only half awake and already sinking back into whatever dream had escaped him. “Five more min’ts.”

Cate groaned beside him. “I think I might actually hate that woman.”

“That’s not true.” Mateo curled Cate’s sleepy self closer against his chest and nosed at the hair at her nape. “You’re just grumpy.”

“Mmphf.” Cate sighed and shifted as Mateo kissed up her neck. “We have to get up.”

He smiled against her neck. “Five more minutes,” he whispered lowly. His hand slid up under the light fabric of her sleep shirt, one of his stolen tunics, and stroked at the curve of her hip. “Maybe ten.”

Another knock sounded at the door, heavier and more pointed.

“Okay. Now I might hate her,” Mateo groaned. He huffed and grudgingly allowed Cate to untangle herself from him and their blankets.

“See? I told you.” Cate came to her feet gracefully. The fluidity of her motions reminded him at once of both the jungle cats of Rivain with their deadly elegance and the first months of Cate’s employ upon the Song of the Sea, where she had looked for all the world like a newborn foal, all gangly legs and skittering balance.

The way she eyed him now, though, her blue gaze peering at him from under sooty lashes and hooded lids, was all desire demon.

Cate stretched her arms up over her head and began her morning routine. Mateo watched the hem of his stolen shirt crest and fall through her movements; it hid and revealed the swell of her hips and the gentle softness of her belly with each shift, her skin sun-kissed to a light gold by the sun.

She snorted and rolled her eyes at his obvious staring. “See anything you like?”

“Very much,” Mateo answered. Cate bent in such a way that pushed her chest and hips out, arms behind her in a long arc. “Definitely, yeah.”

“Pervert.”

“You're beautiful.”

“Still,” she countered. “Make yourself useful and help me, please?”

Mateo shook his head and rose, stepping out of his pants as he crossed the short distance to her. She offered her right hand in silence, watching him, and with a smile, he kissed every knuckle before he began kneading at her palm. His touch was light, and he waited for each hissed breath and sharp inhale as he worked the tension from her hands.

It was a lifetime’s improvement over how their mornings went when they had first started working together. She had been a wounded, scared, proud woman five years ago when Mateo and Cate had been thrown together. Her hands had been mangled beyond belief in ways that Mateo couldn’t dream of even in his worst nightmares. It was only by the grace of the Inquisitor’s Surgeon Hennig, with her sharp mind and freakish need to actually help people recover, that Cate and Mateo survived the process of rehabilitating Cate’s injuries.

Looking back on the journey that brought them to this moment, Mateo couldn’t say he’d change a single thing.

“There,” he finally murmured when he finished. He rubbed his hands over Cate’s own and pressed warmth into her thin fingers, her hands so pale against his darker skin. Mateo retrieved her silverite bracers from the crate that served as table, chest, and chair in their small berth. Gingerly, he slid the gleaming rings to bracket each knuckle and clasped the molded plates around her wrists.

“Thank you, amatus,” Cate sighed. She flexed her hands with a smile as the enchantments awoke to the touch of her magic. “You always make it so easy.”

Mateo snorted. “You thought I was trying to kill you when we first started,” he reminded her drily.

“... well, Sister Nightingale was doing her best to be terrifying. You see why I was nervous.” Cate’s smile turned sultry as she raked her gaze down Mateo’s naked form. “But no more talk about Leliana, or the Inquisition, or the bad days.” She closed the gap between them, snaking her hands up his bare chest. “There’s something else I’d rather think about,” she purred.

He preened under her watchful eye. “Yeah?”

“Yeah… trouncing Yshari when we spar this afternoon.” A brilliant grin broke over her face. “We need to get topside.”

Mateo sputtered when Cate laughed and danced away to get dressed. “You’re really living up to that evil Tevene magister thing, you know." He caught her by the hips and pulled her back to him, bending easily to kiss her. “Tease,” he murmured against her lips. “How about you make it up to me?”

She rolled her eyes with a smile. “Fine, sit down,” Cate said, pushing him to collapse onto the mattress again. She crawled behind him and settled on her knees. "How many braids today?"

"Eh, maybe just one down the middle?" Mateo hummed lightly when Cate ran her fingers through the short shear of his undercut to wrangle his hair. "Just need it out of the way, really. Keth threatened to shave me in my sleep."

Cate began weaving his long tresses into an elegant plait, working slowly from front to back. "He knows he'd never make it through the door, yes?"

"I tried telling him that. Honestly, it's like he's never seen you at work. That man could miss a Hinterlands bear with it gnawing on his face! Good thing he's the bosun and not the Captain, I'd hate to see that arrangement."

She tugged his hair. "Now you've jinxed it."

"Yeah, I'm gonna regret saying that one." He leaned into the touch of her hands as she finished the braid. "Man knows his way around a ship but dios mio, his people skills suck."

"Good thing he has such a good assistant to help. I'm heading up top." Cate leaned forward and pressed a line of kisses along the tapered edge of Mateo's ear. "I'll see you soon."

"I'll miss you every moment, mi tesoro, mi precioso. I shall ache as I think on your name, unable to even dream of your face. The sun will never shine as bright until I see you again, and—"

Cate laughed as she shut the door behind her. Mateo grinned to himself and shook off the last of sheep's lethargic embrace and readied for the day.

===

The sun shone high over the Amaranthine Ocean, the water as blue as the finest sapphires in the aftermath of last night’s storm. The waves dashed up against Mateo stared out over the water, arms wrapped tightly into the net of the sail’s rigging.

“Skirtin’ awfully close to Tevinter, eh? How’s your wifey feel about that?”

“Will you shut up!” Mateo hissed. He tore his eyes from the horizon to glare down at Yshari. “I haven’t asked her yet.”

“You know she’ll say yes, so why wait?”

“That’s none of your business.”

Yshari cackled. “Boy, I’ve known you since you were still wet behind the ears and taught you all you know—”

“That’s definitely not true,” Mateo drawled, “we signed on with Isabela the same day.”

“—I’d say I’m owed some juicy gossip. Now come down here and spill, you know I hate heights.”

“Well, maybe that’s why I’m up here, then,” Mateo quipped. “Ever think of that?”

Yshari shook her head and leaned against the netted rigging. “You’re an idiot. An idiot in love. Now tell meeeee.”

“I just—you know—it’s... “

“Use your words, Teo.”

“I’m trying, thanks.” Mateo untangled himself from the ropes and scaled down to the deck. “What if she doesn’t like my parents, ‘Shari? Or they don’t like her? What if I bring her home and she’s so miserable that she can’t stand to stay? She was an Altus, you know,” Mateo sighed. “Even though it’s been years since she left Tevinter, she’s got to be… I don’t know, used to living like that. We’re just a low-class, mixed-up family from Treviso. She and I retired from the Inquisition to live like dirty pirates—”

“Hey!” Yshari interrupted, swatting at Mateo’s shoulder affectionately.

“—but she’s a Merula, and I’m—”

“—the most idiotic man on this ship, is what you are,” Yshari intoned. She grabbed Mateo by the forearms and shook him. “Anyone with eyes can see she’s crazy about you. Maybe a little crazy in general--hey, I’ve seen her in a fight, she’s amazing and terrifying--but that’s what it is. But Teo, come on. If she decides that no, she’ll hold off for someone better, I’m sure we can... I don’t know. Toss her off the side of the ship or something. But she won’t say no, I’m sure of it. You’re being an idiot.”

“...maybe,” Mateo finally said, grudgingly. He looked across the ship to where Cate worked with the artillery master, her dark hair tied back in a rough tail, and a familiar warmth bloomed in his chest. “But I want to have her meet Mamae and Papae first before I ask. Give her a chance, you know?”

Yshari scoffed. “Overrated. Sentimental, but overrated. But,” she sighed, “love makes fools of even the best of us, so I guess it would of you, too.”

It was Mateo’s turn to squawk indignantly. He shook his head. “You think so, huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “Look, Teo, you’re like a brother to me, so know that I say this with love: pull your head out of your ass already and just do it. It doesn’t matter whether your parents accept her, or if she likes them. You two have been through demons and rifts and near scuttling of the damn ship together. If Cate can take all that, she can deal with you. You both can.”

“Aww,” Mateo said, tone flippant despite the heat of real affection pricking at his eyes, “you do care!” He pulled Yshari in for a hug; she stiffened only to grudgingly return it, thumping him on the back with her fist before pulling away. “Thanks, ‘Shari. I needed that.”

“Yeah, well, I need you not to squish the air outta me. I’ve gotta use those lungs later, you know. The wind doesn’t whistle itself. Now I think I heard the bosun looking for you, you’d best get on that.”

Mateo grinned. “I know you just want to get rid of me so you can be all mushy in private. Don’t worry,” he cooed, turning away to go find Keth, “your secret’s safe with me.” He laughed at the gust of wind that ruffled his braid and clothes.

“You’re dead to me,” came Yshari’s shout. “You hear that? Dead!”

His laughter drew the attention of his colleagues, but Mateo didn’t care. Worries abated, he felt he could float on the wind all by himself, no magic needed.

===

The exchange in Alam went smoothly, or as smoothly as it could. Seheron was still considered a war zone, but people needed supplies, war or no war. Admiral Isabela had been reluctant to come so close to Par Vollen and the Qunari strongholds north of the Tevinter Imperium, but they hadn’t been attacked, and Isabela hadn’t had reason to leave the ship while in Qunari-controlled waters. She usually made a big fuss about playing captain and showing off at other ports; Isabela was quiet, instead, urging the helmsman to take them out of port as soon as the tide and Yshari’s wind magic could allow. No one was allowed off the ship as they waited.

Which suited Mateo and Cate just fine, holed up in their small berth, lost in each other.

“You know what today means?” he whispered against her skin, his hands tracing the knobby line of her spine.

She stirred above him. “What?”

“This is our last job with the Song.” Cate pulled up at his words, bracing her weight on her forearms atop Mateo’s chest. “We can go do whatever else we want.”

“Our contracts are over already?” Her brows pulled into a slight vee and she frowned. “I can’t believe it’s been two years.”

Mateo leaned up to kiss the corner of her mouth, teasing the tension away. “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

“Is that what this is, then?”

“Fun and work, it can be both,” he said, grinning. “We can go… anywhere, really, once we hit Antiva. I have some loose ends to tie up if we want to travel more, but the world is our oyster, Cate. We can do anything we want now.”

Cate smiled, and it was so beautiful and lovely that his heart threatened to burst out of his chest. “And what do you want to do now?” she asked. “What grand plans lay in wait for this great oyster, amatus/?”

“Well…”

“Well?”

“I have some money in Treviso,” he murmured. Mateo trailed his fingers along the planes of Cate’s back, her skin still hot from their earlier exertions. “We could go there, stay for a bit while I get my banking in order. There are some supposedly great real estate opportunities if we wanted to live there. Antiva City, too, if Treviso’s too small or, or, or provincial.”

“Teo—”

“Or we could return to Ferelden if we want. We’ve got some leverage there, still, enough to carve out a little life to ourselves.”

“Amatus—”

Mateo hurried, cutting off Cate’s response. “We could hit Orlais. Nevarra. Rivain, if we wanted, though Mamae’s clan is wholly nomadic, so we might not like that.”

Cate laughed, her breath tickling along his cheek. “I am tired of wandering, Mateo. I was a ranking soldier in the Imperial Army, then a warrior of the Inquisition, then a soldier among pirates. I’m tired. Let us settle somewhere,” she murmured. She kissed down the firm line of his jaw, mouthed at his throat, teased at the sharp edges of his ear. “You could ask me what you really want.”

Mateo gulped. “I don’t know what you mean.”

She smiled and worried his earlobe between her teeth, drawing a low groan from him. “I mean,” she purred, “you have a question grander than where we shall live. Ask me, Mateo. We promised honesty to one another.”

“I—I can’t do that when you do that, vhenan,” he protested weakly. “Can’t even think.”

Cate stilled and it was almost worse than when she moved against him. "Well. Can't have that."

And with a twist she rolled away, taking the thin, scratchy sheet along and wrapping it like a fine sundress around her middle.

Mateo threw his hand over his eyes, willing his body to calm from her tempting ministrations so cruelly interrupted. “You’re a mean woman, Cadencia,” he protested, though there was no sharpness to it, only the soft roll of her name on his tongue. “Might have to believe all that propaganda about the evils that Tevinter mages inflict upon poor elves.”

“You’re exactly as elven as I am!” Cate sputtered.

“Yeah, but you were raised over there,” he said, “so it’s different. And plus, I’m more obviously elfy. Sera told me so.”

“Ugh. Sera. She was so... “

“‘Fun?’ Is that the word you’re looking for?”

He imagined the tight line of Cate’s mouth. “That’s certainly a word,” came her stilted reply.

Mateo laughed. He shifted to sit up against the wall, the wooden bulkhead cool against his back. “Come here, my heart,” he murmured, arms wide and hands grabbing for her, and for a moment she regarded him coolly, calmly, before grinning and falling back to the bed. “Honesty, hmm?”

Cate drew the sheet-dress up around her hips and settled in his lap, regal as any queen. “Honesty,” she said primly.

He peppered soft kisses over the bare lines of her collarbones. “Okay,” he murmured, hands settling on her hips. “Do you love me?”

“Of course,” she muttered when he scraped his teeth over her skin. Her hands dug into the meat of his shoulders, her nails sharp and the bracers magically cold.

“Do you want me?” He rolled his hips and dragged her down against his body.

“Ye-eh-ess.” The word drew out on a hiss and she rocked into him shamelessly as if to prove her answer.

“Will you marry me?” He pulled his mouth from the temptation of her throat to study her face, flushed red with growing excitement and stunned into shocked silence.

“Ye—Teo!”

Mateo shifted, pressing Cate backward into the thin mattress of their cot. Her blue eyes bloomed with surprise as he bracketed her with his arms. “The last five years have been the strangest fucking years of my life, but they brought me to you. Even with the sky broken and the world ending, even with us at each other’s throats at the beginning, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.” 

His voice shook as he spoke. “Will you, Cadencia Merula, marry me? Forever and always, just us, wherever we are. Orlais, Nevarra, bloody Ferelden, I would live with you anywhere.” Mateo gingerly brought a hand up to brush a wayward lock of hair from Cate’s face. “Anywhere, Cate, because you are my home. Forever.”

“Yes,” she said, and tears pooled in her eyes. “Yes, for a thousand lifetimes, yes, you stupid man, now let me up so I can kiss you properly!”

Cate surged up to push him back against the wall with a dull thud and Mateo’s heart pounded rabbit-fast in his chest at the way she eyed him, all predatory grace and promise when she draped herself against him.

“Vhenan, mi corazón, para siempre.”

“Forever, amatus,” she agreed, sealing the promise with a hungry kiss.

======

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#series: Lessons in Dexterity #Soulrebel Writes #Dragon Age: Inquisition #postgame #fanfiction #Cate Merula #Mateo #friend OCs #smoochuals #these happy idiots are gonna be the death of me #but happy birthday Yue! #reblogs welcome and appreciated! #thank you!

[spn67-sister]

Messing With A Winchester

One Shot! Characters: Sister Winchester, Sam, and Dean. My own character Paul, (reader’s boyfriend and Cate (reader’s best friend).

Prompt/ Request by @supernaturalfreak2005-2017:  Hi can you do when the reader boyfriend broke up with her and the reader boyfriend said some mean things to her and is really upset and Sam and Dean find out and get upset thx.

Authors Note: Ahh thanks so much for the request! This prompt was a very interesting to write and I really hope you enjoyed it! I made it instead of her boyfriend saying mean things, he gets a little too friendly while he is drunk. I just made it more intense.  If anyone wants to submit a request in the future, the link is in my Bio!!

Warnings: Language, harassment, underage drinking, angst, and unwanted touching. A boyfriend is drunk and gets too aggressive with the reader.

Word count: 2422

------------------------

“Hey guys, I’m going to head out, Paul is waiting for me at the party!” I yelled as I started walking towards the steps of the bunker. I heard Sam’s loud footsteps running to the door and Dean stood up from where he was sitting in the library to come over.

“Y/n, please don’t do anything you would regret later. Make good choices and don’t do anything stupid,” Sam said as he wrapped me in a tight hug and I smiled.

“I won’t do something stupid like Dean would do. I promise,” I say while laughing and Dean gives me a fake hurt look until he smiles and pulls me into a hug.

“Seriously kiddo, don’t be dumb like me. If you don’t want to do something, don’t do it. These parties can get a little, intense sometimes. Trust me, I would know. Just…be home by 11,” he said and he looks me in the eyes and smiles.

“I will be home by 11. Love you guys, and thanks for letting me go and use the car!” I said and Dean looked like he was going to puke, “I’m kidding! I will use one of the spare cars in the bunker. The corvette looks fun!” I said and I saw the relief on Dean’s face and Sam started laughing.

I walked to the garage and got into the car and started to drive towards Cates house. Cate, is my best friend. We met each other in the local high school and really hit it off. Cate knows about my situation, because she is also a hunter. We didn’t know that about one another, until she figured out that my last name was Winchester and that I was the famous Winchester Sister. She really hit it off with my brothers. Sam and Dean adore her. She practically became the second Winchester Sister. While her Dad is off hunting, she stays with us. She even went on a couple of hunts with us before.

As I drive towards the house, I turn on the music while thinking driver picks the music. I started to think about Paul, my boyfriend. God, I missed him. I was on a hunt for the past two weeks and I wasn’t able to call him. Cate was with me, so that made it a little easier. As I pull her to Cates house, she comes out and runs to the passenger side.

“Holy shit Y/n! They let you take the Corvette?!” She said while getting into the car and laughing in disbelief.

“Ya, I know! I started off by saying that I was going to take Dean’s car, but then quickly switched to ‘oh I will just take the Corvette!’ and that didn’t seem to bother him, as long as I don’t touch baby,” I said and she just marveled at the red car.

“We are going to look great pulling into the house in this thing!” She yelled while turning up the music.

We pulled up to the house, and got out of the car. I told Cate that I had to be home by 11, and she said she had to be home by 10:30, so I said we would leave before then. I walked into the house to have music blaring and people screaming while holding beers. I just make eye contact with Cate and she looks like she is ready to leave, and I don’t disagree.

I walk into the house with Cate by my side and I look for Paul. After about a couple minutes of searching, I spot him by the drinks talking to some girl. He was clearly wasted. Shit, I think as I walk over there. Cate found some other people to talk to and I just walked toward Paul.

“Hey! Y/n! How are… WOAH! You…You look fineee tonight!” He said while he took his arm and wrapped it around me, making me extremely uncomfortable. The smell of liquor alone would have made anyone want to stay clear of him, “Hey, have a drink,” he said while offering me a glass.

“No thank you. Let’s go over there so we can hear each other better!” I screamed over the music and his drunken mind just barley understood. We walked outside, but we were not alone. There where people talking and making out. I lead him to the back and he collapsed to the ground.

“Come down here!” he said and I reluctantly sat down next to him, “You look fuckin’ hot tonight, which makes me want you bad,” he said as he ran his hand up my thigh and I looked at his hand with anger in my eyes.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I said and I took his hand off my thigh, “I haven’t seem you In a week and your wasted to the point where I can’t even hold a conversation with you, and now you want to have sex with me? I also spotted you flirting with some other girl when I walked in! What the hell is that about?” I yelled and he suddenly became the maddest fucking person I have ever seen.

“You don’t talk to me that way. I am your boyfriend and I demand respect from you! I can do whatever the fuck I want with whoever the fuck I want. Tonight, I want you, so either you stop acting like a bitch and man up, or leave me. You chose,” He said and he grabbed me and pulled me into kissing him, but I didn’t kiss back.

I fought back the kiss, but he wouldn’t let go of me. I started to curse my size, because knew it was easier for him to stay on me because I am so short. He didn’t let go of me until I finally slapped him in the face and screamed before he put his hand over my mouth. Another boy noticed, and I recognized him from school. The boy grabbed Paul and threw him off me and I sat up, not noticing I was crying until that moment.

“Get off me you asshole! That’s my girlfriend, it’s not like I don’t know her!” He yelled while trying to break free from that boys grip. Another girl ran over to me crying on the ground and she helped me up.

“Oh my god are you ok?!” she asked while pulling me into a hug and I continued to cry and be scared of everything that just happened.

“I…I need to go home.” I told her and she understood, while taking off her coat and giving it to me. I give her a thankful look and she understood and we started walking toward the house until I heard Paul scream and I turned around to look at him.

“Y/n! Where the fuck are you going! You’re my girlfriend! Don’t leave, let me walk you out!” he screamed.

“No, you don’t have a girlfriend, not anymore! Don’t fucking call me again, don’t even look at me! I swear to god if you do, you will regret it,” I said and I walked into the house with the girl to Cate.

--------------------------------------- “Sam! Dean! Uh…something happened at the party and you need to come here, NOW!” Cate yelled into the bunker as I sat at the top of the stairs sobbing my eyes out. I was so embarrassed and mortified of the situation that happened before. I then put my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them while barring my head into my knees. I heard Sam and Dean come into the open room and see me crying in a ball. They run up the stairs.

“Cate, what the hell happened?!” Dean asked her while Sam ran right to me, trying to talk me into getting out of my position. I agreed in about ten seconds and he saw my tear stained face and blood shot eyes. He pulled me into him and I sat there in his arms, putting my legs over his and sat on his lap, while as he sat on the first step. He just ran his fingers through my hair and told me quietly to calm down and breathe.

“We walked into the party and Y/n saw Paul and walked over to him. I saw some of my school friends and I started talking to them. I had no idea the Paul was as wasted as he was. He apparently took her outside and he started hitting on her. She said no, and he got pissed. He was screaming insults at her and then kissed her without her consent and wouldn’t back down. I didn’t see it happen but others did. Then a boy apparently had to grab him off her after she slapped him in the face and he was screaming and swearing. She then broke up with him while a girl names Sally helped her up and walked her over to me. I then drove us home and she hasn’t calmed down,” Cate told him and Dean looked mortified.

“He put his hand over my mouth, so no one could hear me scream,” I said as I continued to sit comfortably in Sam’s lap and he then held me closer. I could feel his head turn towards Dean’s and Dean told Cate to take the car she drove here back to her place and could drive it back here whenever. She could take a hint that I needed to be with my brothers. I heard Dean say thank you and something else to her. She said thanks for the car and the door shut. Dean then walked over to where Sam and I where and sat down next to us, as I still cried.

“Y/n, you need to breathe. I know what just happened was bad and traumatic, but you need to take a breath and calm down,” Sam said and he held me closer. I took a couple of breaths and was able to calm down a little, “There you go, see that wasn’t so bad was it?” He said and Dean then told me to look at him, and I did but didn’t move from Sam’s arms.

“Y/n…” Dean said before I cut him off.

“I’m not a Winchester anymore. I can’t be. Winchesters don’t get treated that way. Winchesters fight back immediately when someone takes advantages of them. Winchesters don’t go into stupid situations when they knew that it could be dangerous. Winchesters are brave, and tonight I wasn’t. Winchesters are especially not taken advantage of by their own boyfriend of girlfriend. I disgraced the family name,” I said crying and Dean took my chin and made me look at him again.

“Y/n that might have been the dumbest thing you have ever said. You are incredible. I am so proud of you. You said no to something you didn’t want to do. You fought back even after what he was doing to you. You may have been taken advantage of by your boyfriend, but it’s not like me and Sam haven’t been! Remember Ruby? Remember that whole ‘she turned Sam into a demon blood sucking monster’ thing? That’s because he liked her, and she took advantage of him. Remember that monster I slept with and she only slept with me because she needed to get pregnant for that weird cult thing? Ya, she took advantage of me. You did not disgrace our name, I promise you that,” Dean said and I realized that I stopped crying.

“Y/n I am proud of you as well. You said no to something you knew we wouldn’t have wanted you to do. You didn’t fall into pressure, believe me when I tell you a lot of girls would have given in. You are braver than you think you are. Give yourself some credit.” Sam said and I looked up fully this time and moved from Sam’s lap to sit in-between both of my brothers, this time leaning on Dean.

“You’re really not mad or disappointed in me?” I said and Dean looked right at me.

“I could never be disappointed with you. You make me proud every day by just being you. Sure, shit like this happens, but you just got to get back up and fight back, like Winchesters do, He said and kissed my head.

“Y/n, you’re a Winchester, whether you want to be or not. You could never not be one, and we would never not want you to be one,” Sam said and I smiled, “all I know is, I am going to be visiting someone in the morning to give him a piece of my mind,” Sam says and I nod my head.

“You actually want us to go?” Dean questioned.

“Yes, go show that son of a bitch what happens when you mess with a Winchester.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” Sam said and I laughed, “Hey there’s my favorite smile,” he said looking at me and I get happy for the first time all night.

“Thank you for making me feel better, I know I can always count on you two to be there for me when I fall,” I say.

“Anytime, sweetheart. Anytime. Now, how about we go watch a movie! Harry Potter sound good?” he said and I nodded my head.

“I got the popcorn,” I say as I smile and walk down the stairs of the bunker, glad to have my brothers with me.

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