#if I have the day off from babysitting on Monday

[marvelstoriesepic]

Still on the list

Pairing: Frat!College!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes, the infamous frat guy, known for sleeping around and throwing parties left and right, constantly invites you, out of all people, to all of them. His intentions though remain a mystery to you. Following a troubling event that leaves you shaken and anxious, Bucky is there to pick up the pieces. Stolen glances and exchanged smiles gradually blossom into a connection that goes beyond what meets the eye.

Word count: 14.1k

Warnings: annoyance to friends to lovers; panic attacks!; creepy man; angst and comfort; Bucky is a frat boy

author’s note: This took longer than I hoped, but I love it!

Masterlist

One minute.

One minute did it take for the class to end and yet it felt like an eternity.

You stared at the clock in anticipation, not paying an ounce of attention to what your professor was talking about.

Was he even talking?

Were you supposed to write something down?

You wouldn’t know.

RIING

Finally, the blissful sound of the bell pierced through the monotony.

You took your eyes off the clock in the far corner of the lecture hall, a sigh of relief leaving your lips and started packing your stuff.

“Alright class! See you on Monday! Have a great weekend.” Your professor exclaimed before walking out of the hall with a wave.

Amidst the chorus of thank you’s and see you on Monday’s and packing your laptop in your bag, alongside your pen and notebook (basically for small, unnecessary doodles, instead of notes) including your water bottle, you noticed Wanda slipping onto the bench beside you with her backpack draped over her right shoulder and an amused smile plastered on her face.

“Late again,” she teased.

You groaned. “Blame that slowpoke of a bus driver.”

“You know you can always ride with Pietro and me.” She nudged your shoulder playfully.

You offered her a grateful smile but shook your head. “It’s inconvenient for you.”

After being forced to live on campus for your first year of college you decided to get a small apartment to save some money and get the privacy you wanted and needed. Living on campus was expensive enough and with the small amount of money you got for working in a café and babysitting sometimes in the evening there wasn’t much left for you to enjoy yourself a little.

You never really enjoyed living in a dorm together with someone you didn’t know and sharing that same space. Your roommate for that first year was perpetually boisterous and tried dragging you to every party within a five-mile radius. Despite your initial resistance, you eventually succumbed to peer pressure. After enduring an eternity of loud music and plastic cups thrust into your hand, you found yourself in the grim confines of a bathroom stall, holding back your roommate‘s unruly hair as she retched into the toilet bowl. It was a moment of disillusionment that solidified your resolve to seek solitude and sanctuary away from the chaos of dormitory life.

Though you hated every minute of that day, in the end, you were glad you went, because it was where you met Wanda.

As fate would have it, Wanda found herself reluctantly dragged to the same party by none other than her brother, Pietro. Aforementioned guy managed to catch your roommate since she ‘accidentally’ slipped in front of him. She kept giggling with his arms draped around her and you apologized to him and Wanda though you knew it was actually really not your fault.

So while your roommate occupied Pietro you had a pleasant conversation with his sister. You clicked immediately.

“It takes ten minutes Y/n, it’s truly no big deal.”

“Well, I’ll keep it in mind! Thanks, Wan!”

You walked out of the hall and crossed campus together. Since you just had this one lecture today you signed in for a shift at the café you worked at and were just about to bid Wanda goodbye when-

“Maximoff!”

You didn’t make any attempt to even try not to roll your eyes.

Wanda turned around and so did you eventually, not concealing your dissatisfaction with the approaching guy, a scowl forming on your face.

Bucky Barnes.

Of course.

Now, there were a lot of things you tolerated. It was hard to rile you up, but Bucky Barnes? He exceeded every limit.

You couldn’t stand the guy. And he knew it.

He caught up to you girls and kept his attention on your friend.

“Hey, Wanda! You have a minute?”

Before she could react he turned to you, pretending to see you just now.

“Oh. Y/n! Haven’t seen you there.”

You wanted to punch that arrogant grin off his face.

“What do you want?”

“Well as I was gonna ask Wanda,” he emphasized her name with a playful drawl and turned to her, “You and your brother are coming today right? Sam got the drinks and we got a new beer pong table. We gotta initiate it correctly.”

Another eye roll escaped you as Wanda shot you a brief, amused glance before addressing Bucky. “Pietro’ll come. The party was the only thing he talked about this morning.”

“Perfect!” Bucky grinned. “You’ll come too right? You can have a plus one!” He nodded his head towards you while meeting your steely gaze with unwavering confidence.

“Nothing will get me to enter your stupid frat party Barnes!” you retorted dryly.

Bucky’s grin remained firmly in place, his cockiness bordering on infuriating.

“Well I’ll be there,” he declared, turning his attention toward you with a smirk.

You cocked your head. “There’s the reason why.”

A soft sigh from Wanda diverted your attention, prompting you to check the time on your phone.

“Whatever, I gotta go!” With a brief hug, you bid her goodbye.

“Text me later?”

“Course, Wan!”

You flashed her a quick smile before striding away, ignoring Bucky’s futile attempt to prolong the conversation.

“Where ya going?” he shouted after you.

“Work!” Your response was curt and you continued your way.

****

“That’ll be 4.75$.”

The girl in front of you swiped her card through the card reader and you placed the cup with her latte on the counter separating you.

You thanked her for the small tip and turned away when she left, to stock up on the coffee beans. You leaned down and grabbed the bag out of a drawer from under the counter as you heard the door to the shop open.

Your coworker went to the storage room to store the milk that came in a few minutes before and it wasn’t that busy so you were good on your own out front.

“Just a sec!” you called while opening the bag and pouring the beans in, standing with your back to the counter.

“All good! I’m in no hurry.”

You stilled for a second, almost pouring over the beans. Although you couldn’t see him right now you could tell he wore that shit-eating grin again.

You pulled the bag away harshly with a few falling out. You would take care of that later. Probably not though.

You put the bag aside, preparing yourself to turn around, and came face to face with the one and only Bucky Barnes.

Seriously?

Two times in a day?

You wiped over your apron and met his gaze. “What can I get you?” You tried feigning that kindness you were supposed to show your guests though you knew you could try more.

Not taken aback by your grimace and still slightly annoyed tone he leaned on the counter and pretended to contemplate what to get.

You crossed your arms over your chest and stared at him.

“I think I’ll go for a black coffee,” He grinned at you.

You uncrossed your arms to get to work. “Small, medium, large?” You were really trying to stay professional here.

“I’ll take it medium, doll.”

It wasn’t the first time he called you that, though you‘ve heard it come out of his mouth plenty of times to plenty of girls so you guessed he didn’t even recognize he was calling you that too.

You got to work while Bucky watched you intently, still leaning on the counter.

You hoped he would stay silent but guessed that thought was futile since he walked in here.

“So, you think about coming?”

“No.”

“No, you haven’t thought about it or no, you aren’t coming?”

“Both.”

It wasn’t the first time he somehow tried to get you to come to one of his frat parties. Be it through Wanda or Pietro or just blatantly asking you to come. You knew your answer every time. He should have known that too but he seemingly never stopped trying.

“Aww, come on doll! Already put you on the list.”

“Do whatever you please Barnes but I’m not coming,” you retorted while finishing up his coffee and sliding it across the counter over to him. “That’ll be 2.95$.”

Will Wanda come?” He didn’t attempt to grab the cup, instead he stayed rooted and looked at you.

“Don’t know. Maybe”

After that party your former roommate dragged you to, you avoided them at all costs and managed not to attend any other. Wanda sometimes came along with Pietro to get him back home after drinking too much. You considered coming along for moral support a few times but didn’t want to give Bucky the satisfaction of getting you to come. And Wanda always claimed she‘d be fine.

He leaned to take the cup of coffee and a milk pack from beside where you were standing.

“Alright well, you know where to go,” he slid over a 5$ bill. “Keep the change!” He lifted the cup a bit. “And thanks!” Giving you his signature smirk.

“Barnes that’s too much for a single coffee!” you protested and were about to collect his change but he was already halfway out of the shop.

“Keep it!” he threw over his shoulder and you looked after him a little irritated.

His persistence annoyed you to no end so why did your lips curl up in a smile, despite yourself?

****

You didn’t come.

It was nearly midnight and you found yourself nestled in your bed, the soft glow of your laptop illuminating the room as you rewatched a movie for the umpteenth time.

There probably would be a few things you’d like to do instead, but going to one of Bucky's notorious frat parties, will just never be one of them.

You couldn’t even really tell why you held such a grudge against the guy. He never really was explicitly rude or anything, yet there was something about his demeanor that rubbed you the wrong way.

Bucky Barnes had been a constant presence on campus since day one. Whether it was in the hallways or outside the building, Bucky was always surrounded by a rotating cast of admirers, girls vying for his attention. It became a familiar sight to see him engrossed in conversation with yet another girl, his charm seemingly boundless.

Amidst the flurry of attention and admiration that surrounded Bucky, there were moments when his gaze seemed to linger in your direction as if seeking to ensnare your attention as he did with others. You’d catch him looking at you in the hallways. You’d see him standing outside your lecture hall, although he didn’t even attend this class. However, you never attempted to acknowledge him and were set on keeping your distance.

In your second semester, you found yourself sharing a course with him. That was where he first initiated interactions with you. At first, it was a subtle passing glance, a nod, and a smile of acknowledgment, but soon his efforts to engage with you became more pronounced. It started with a request for notes when he wasn’t there the other day. And then there were times when you ran late and he saved you a seat beside him, sending you a wave and a charming grin.

But then you would watch him effortlessly flirt with other girls, letting them sit on his lap and whispering in their ear, you having the front row seat. You couldn’t pinpoint why his flirting with other girls left a bitter taste in your mouth, but it deepened your reservation, solidifying your decision to maintain a sense of distance.

Despite not sharing any classes with Bucky in your second year, he seemed determined not to let your lack of proximity deter his efforts to engage with you. His persistent attempts to catch your attention continued unabated - although you never gave him much to work with - seeming to find a way to cross paths with you all the time.

The first time he asked you to come to one of his frat parties, you were sitting in a small booth at a café near campus, nursing a latte and discussing your professors together with Wanda and Pietro.

You laugh. “Right? She once even gave-”

“Pietro! Hey, man,” comes his voice across the café and Bucky Barnes approaches you three.

You drop your smile and divert your attention to your latte as Bucky greets Pietro and Wanda.

“Y/n! Nice to see you.” His voice dripping with charm.

Upon hearing your name you lift your head and offer a strained smile, hoping to convey at least a semblance of politeness.

“Hi,” you answer lamely, not an ounce of enthusiasm found in your voice.

Bucky’s smirk deepens in response, a knowing glint in his eyes.

Your smile turns into a grimace.

“You coming tonight man?” he asks Pietro.

“Course Buck! I‘ll be there.”

“Great!” His attention turns to you.

“You girls are welcome too, you know.”Although addressing both, Wanda and you, he keeps his gaze on you.

“Yeah, no thanks!”

“We’ll think about it!”

Wanda sends you a glare, reminding you to stay nice. Though Bucky doesn’t seem fazed by your lack of interest, the boyish smirk still present on his lips.

“Well, I’d be happy to see you.”

You don’t even have time to answer him when a brunette, standing at the counter, calls his name.

You look in her direction though his eyes remain on you a few seconds longer until he turns away and bids his goodbye. Wanda and Pietro answer him while you remain silent, taking refuge in your coffee cup.

He was attractive, you gotta give him that but you never were someone to go after looks. There were so many more important things to see in people. Sure, you don’t know how he treated or saw his flings, or hookups, or whatever but you supposed you didn’t wanna know.

****

After you worked your ass off at the café during the weekend you were more than unpleased to be sitting in your lecture hall at 8 in the morning on a Monday. At least the bus was on time you supposed.

Wanda slid in beside you and put down a cup of coffee in front of you before unpacking her backpack.

“Oh god Wan, you’re an Angel!” You took a big sip and sighed dramatically.

Wanda snickered softly, organizing her notes.

“You know, Pietro told me someone was a bit disappointed,” she began and you looked at her confused.

“The party,” she continued but you just stared at her oblivious.

She sighed. “He hoped you’d come this time.” She studied you with a careful expression but you saw the corners of her lips turning up lightly.

You blinked. “Why would he think that?”

Wanda shrugged. “Well he’s pretty persistent,” She studied you some more and you began to feel uneasy, “You could give him a chance.”

“Huh?” you mumbled, caught off guard.

Turning toward you fully, Wanda leaned in slightly. “I don’t really know him that well, but he’s different with you. Pietro’s mentioned it. He’s never made this much effort with anyone else.“

Perplexed, you pondered her words.

“And honestly,” Wanda continued, “He’s a nice guy. I mean I get he’s got girls around all the time-”

You grimaced.

“-but he’s not the guy to lead anyone on or make someone feel worthless, I’m sure of it.”

That got you silent and you looked at her, pouting your lips in contemplation.

“He had a girlfriend once but as far as Pietro knows it didn’t end well. She moved away and they tried that long-distance relationship crap-”

You raised an eyebrow.

“-but she then started seeing someone else without telling him.”

You exhaled deeply, processing the information. “Alright well that sucks…sure…but is that a reason to use girls like that?”

“How are you so sure that’s what this is?” Wanda countered

Before you could respond, your professor arrived, saving you from further discussion. You were kinda glad he was on time cause you really had no idea how to answer that. You couldn’t know what he does with those girls. What he told them. How he treated them. How he made them feel.

Actually

You didn’t know anything about him at all.

****

Nearly two weeks had passed and you haven’t seen Bucky since he came by the café you worked at. Despite your efforts to push him out of your mind, you found yourself occasionally thinking about him or scanning the hallways for a glimpse of him.

Wanda got sick the day prior so you were sitting alone in class. After making idle conversation with some fellow students, you decided to stay back and finish up your notes.

You heard footsteps approaching but didn’t look up until someone settled beside you.

“That looks kinda complicated.”

Irritation bubbled up, but you were surprised to find you didn’t immediately feel the urge to roll your eyes all the way up to your brain at the sound of his voice. Reluctantly, you turned to face him, a sigh leaving your lips

“What are you doing here? This isn’t even your class!”

“Came looking for ya,” he replied, that familiar smirk playing on his lips.

You returned your attention back to your notes. “What for?”

“Shouldn’t you be able to tell?” He grinned and bumped your upper arm lightly.

That was the first time he initiated any form of physical contact and you weren’t sure what to make of it.

“Another party, I assume,” you remarked plainly.

“Smart girl! Missed you the last time.”

“Then have fun missing me this time as well,” you retorted, not bothering to look at him.

You felt his eyes on your profile but didn’t turn to him.

“Well just wanted to let you know you’re still on the list,” he said, his voice laced with that characteristic smirk.

That dude really wouldn’t give up, would he?

Quickly finishing your notes and packing away your things, you draped your bag over your shoulder, ready to leave the hall. As you turned to go, you glanced back at him.

“I’ll think about it,” you said, your tone dripping with sarcasm, though deep down you couldn’t deny that small part of you, that was considering his invitation this time.

****

The party started by now.

Standing in your bedroom you wavered on the threshold of the decision to go to his party or not.

You found yourself grappling with uncertainty, questioning the motivations behind your sudden inclination to attend the party. Was it a twinge of guilt for his past misfortunes that nudged you towards empathy? Or perhaps a genuine curiosity sparked by the desire to unravel the enigma of his persistent invitations?

You pondered, your thoughts swirling. Perhaps this was all a game to him? Or maybe there was something deeper, something he needed to prove to himself or to others.

Yet, the idea of subjecting yourself to potential humiliation at a frat party churned your stomach. You had no desire to be caught in the whirlwind of debauchery and recklessness.

But Wanda didn’t really make him seem like the kinda guy to pull shit like that.

Though how could she be sure?

The sudden ringing of your phone shattered the swirling thoughts that had consumed you, pulling you back to the present moment. With a grateful sigh, you glanced down at the screen, Wanda’s name lighting it up.

“Hey Wan,” you greeted her while laying back on your bed.

“Hey Y/n. I assume you’re not at the party.”

“Nope, you know me.”

“Okay well, could I ask for a favor?” Wanda’s voice held a hint of hesitation.

You sat up. “Yeah, sure Wan, what’s up?”

“Pietro will need someone to pick him up later but I’m still feeling pretty shitty at the moment and…I don’t know I was thinking maybe-“

“You’re asking me to pick him up?” you finished her sentence, sighing deeply.

“Kinda, yeah,” Wanda confirmed sheepishly.

You chuckled. “Sure, I can do that Wan, no problem.”

You could hear the relief in Wanda’s breath. “Thank you babes, I owe you! You can take his car, I’ll leave the keys under the pot outside.”

“You don’t owe me anything Wan, I’m glad I can help! You stay in bed and rest, alright? I’ll take care of your brother,” you assured her.

After exchanging a few more words, you hung up and prepared to leave. Opting for a casual outfit you threw on some wash jeans and a shirt.

Considering you spent a good amount of time on spiraling whether to go or not it got rather late already and it still would take you some time to get to Pietros car and to the party.

You grabbed the keys from under the pot, got in the car and started driving. It had been a while since you made use of your license considering you couldn’t afford your own vehicle, but you managed.

As you parked the car and stepped out onto the pavement, the distant throb of bass pulsed through the air, a tangible force that seemed to reverberate through your entire being. With each step towards the fraternity house, the music grew louder, assaulting your senses with its relentless intensity.

You walked up to the guy standing at the door with a ripped sheet of paper in his hand. You assumed that was what Bucky referred to as list.

“Hey, uh, I’m here to pick up Pietro Maximoff,” you stated, hoping to avoid being drawn into the revelry inside.

The guy’s smirk was infuriating as he chuckled dismissively. “Oh I’m sure he’s a little busy right now.”

Suppressing a sigh, you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his remark.

“What’s your name sweetie, you could always go in and join the party.”

“Yeah no I’m fine, I’ll just-”

“Wait, are you the infamous Y/n?”

You blinked. You were not entirely used to people knowing your name. You’d like to believe you were nobody. Whether on campus nor in general. So why did this random guy know your name and call you infamous?

You didn’t have to answer, instead the guy nodded towards the door, granting you entry with a casual wave.

“Come on in, Buck will be thrilled to see you,” he remarked, stepping aside to let you pass.

Feeling utterly disoriented and out of place, you stepped inside, your senses assaulted by the overwhelming cacophony of noise and the oppressive heat of the crowded room. The stench of sweat and alcohol hung heavy in the air, causing you to wrinkle your nose in disgust. With each step, the floor seemed to cling to your shoes, a sticky reminder why you avoided this for so long.

You tried to adjust to the flickering lights and internally scolded the person who decided those colors were a good match when you heard your name be called.

“Y/n?”

You weren’t surprised to hear his voice since it was partly his party but you were surprised he recognized you this fast since you just stepped inside. Was he watching the door?

His smile greeted you as he stood before you, and you were blinded for a second there.

“You’re here!”

“Uh, well I’m kinda just here to pick up Pietro. Wanda asked me to.”

Bucky’s smile faltered slightly at your words. Clearing his throat, he offered a tentative response. “Oh. Well, haven’t seen him,” he exclaimed, his gaze momentarily flickering away before returning to meet yours.

As Pietro’s slurred voice called out your name, you turned to see your friend stumbling towards you, a wide grin plastered across his face. He draped an arm around your shoulders, and you instinctively supported him, wrapping your own arm around his waist to steady him.

“What’re you doin’ here, princessa?” Pietro slurred, his words punctuated by a drunken laugh.

You laughed. “Came here to pick you up, Piet. Wanda’s still not feeling well.”

But Pietro, clearly undeterred by your explanation, attempted to pull you along with him, his movements unsteady as he swayed on the spot within your hold.

“Let’s get you a drink, princessa,” he insisted, his grip tightening around you.

Refusing to indulge his request, you gently guided him towards the door, ignoring his protests. As you turned to leave, you caught sight of Bucky, his jaw clenched and his eyes darting away from your close proximity.

“I guess thanks for the invite Barnes but this really isn’t my scene.” You gave him a tight lipped smile and turned to Pietro again.

Meanwhile, Bucky remained rooted to the spot, his gaze fixed on the door you just disappeared behind.

****

Since that day at the party three weeks ago, Bucky had been somewhat of a ghost, disappearing from the usual campus scene. Despite not seeing him, thoughts of him seemed to linger in the back of your mind and you caught yourself looking out for him in the hallways.

You made your way to the restrooms between your two classes of the day cause you just had to drown yourself in coffee on your 4-hour shift in the café this morning.

After locking yourself in one of the cabins that still held toilet paper you heard the door to the restroom creak open and made out the hushed voices of two girls filtering in. One of them clearly crying.

“What’s wrong with me? He literally jumped in bed with every other girl on campus! Why not me?” the girl sobbed hysterically while her friend got her some paper towels from the dispenser.

You rolled your eyes at her antics and decided to just wait out until they left.

“I don’t know El, but Jake did say something about him wanting to change.” You could picture her gesturing quotation marks with her fingers at the ‘wanting to change’ part. And though you weren’t quite the type to gossip you held your breath and listened intently.

The other girl blew her nose while her friend continued.

“He hasn’t been to a party for the last, I don’t know, maybe three weeks or something. Just stayed locked in his room. That’s what Jake told me. Don’t know what to make out of it though,” the girl chuckled, “I mean it’s Bucky we’re talking about.”

As Bucky’s name entered the conversation, your ears perked up, and you felt compelled to listen. Thoughts swirl in your mind, multiplying like rabbits in a field. Was that night you picked up Pietro the last party he attended? Why the sudden disappearance into seclusion? Why would he lock himself in his room? Why did he dump that girl? You didn’t know who that Jake dude was but you weren’t sure if he was right.

You snapped out of your thoughts to catch the still crying girl whine again. “But I tried really hard Meg! I pinned notes on his locker, I smiled at him all the time, I sent him my notes from history per mail, the one time he didn’t come and I slipped my phone number into his backpack when he wasn’t looking-”

Suddenly you were grateful for standing right beside a toilet cause you felt the urge to vomit.

“-and he just straight up told me he’s not interested?!”

You heard the other girl, Meg, probably short for Meghan or something but why would you care, sigh. “I’m sorry El, but maybe he’s really just trying to become better than that.”

The crying thankfully stopped and was replaced by a scoff and an exasperated intake of breath. Personally, you’d describe it as overly dramatic but who were you to judge.

As the girls finally departed, leaving behind the remnants of their dramatic exchange, you released a sigh of relief.

After finishing what you came in here for in the first place you left the restroom as well and walked through the hallway on your way to your next class.

And as god, or the devil, or Mother Nature, or something the fuck else wouldn’t have it any other way there he was. Bucky was standing at his locker, taking a look at a pink piece of paper in his hand for only a second before crumpling it in his fist. You could only guess what it was.

He turned to the trash can to throw it in there and when he looked back up he met your gaze. His eyes lit up at seeing you, but nevertheless, you noticed the tired look he wore and couldn’t help but feel kinda bad for him.

Normally when passing Bucky in the hallway you wouldn’t spare him an attention spawn over two seconds but here you were giving him a somewhat genuine smile, a rare display of empathy, which he reciprocated immediately.

Even as you turned the corner and continued on your way, you couldn’t shake the sensation of his eyes lingering on you. You couldn’t suppress the warmth spreading in your stomach.

Bucky stopped asking you to come to his parties. As far as you knew he didn’t even attend them himself anymore. You shared with Wanda what you overheard in the restroom, and after confirming with Pietro, it became clear that Bucky was indeed making some significant changes in his lifestyle.

Bucky Barnes was truly an enigma.

Armed with insider information from Wanda, you learned that Bucky refrained from being seen with any girl for weeks and stopped planning and attending the frat parties. He seemingly even talked about leaving the fraternity altogether.

You don’t know what to do with those information but you did notice a shift yourself. You saw Bucky again two times since you passed him in the hallway a few days ago.

You were walking through the library together with Pietro and Wanda when you saw him sitting there in the far corner with his textbook open and a pencil poised. You stood and drank in the sight of him for a moment. His brows were furrowed deep in concentration and he lightly tapped his pen on his notebook rhythmically. He let his hair grow out a little, wisps falling onto his forehead. He sure as hell was a sight for sore eyes.

As if he picked up on your staring he lifted his head and looked over in your direction. The intensity of Bucky’s gaze sent a jolt through you, causing your heart to race as you hastily averted your eyes, feigning interest in the books on the nearby shelf. Despite your attempt to appear nonchalant, you could feel the warmth of his gaze lingering on you.

Stealing another glance in his direction, finding him still watching you, his soft smile a stark contrast to the cocky grin you were accustomed to. The corners of your mouth lifted ever so slightly without having your consent.

The sudden interruption of Pietro’s arm around your shoulders broke the spell between Bucky and you, snapping him out of his reverie. With a subtle shift in his posture, he straightened his back and lowered his head back to his textbook.

The other time, yesterday, you decided to join Wanda and grab something to eat at the canteen. As you stood in line with Wanda you were the one to feel eyes on you, prompting you to turn and find Bucky’s piercing blue gaze fixed on you.

Your lips curled in a smile and Bucky’s sweet grin in response sent a flutter through your chest.

To your own disappointment, you ended up sitting with your back to him throughout eating, though you pushed it aside.

****

It was a long day.

You had a shift at the café this morning and then went straight to Uni where you dragged yourself through your classes of the day. It was already starting to get dark when you walked around campus to get to your bus station.

This was your routine on Wednesdays but something felt weird. There was a shiver creeping up your spine and you tightened your coat around yourself, hugging your waist, as a response to that feeling of unease.

“Hey! Girl!”

Your heart dropped at the shout and although it came from behind you, you just knew it was meant for you. Unconsciously you picked up your pace, hugging yourself tighter and scolding yourself for not getting pepper spray.

“Hey, you! I’m talking to you!”

You heard quick footsteps approaching you from behind and let out a gasp as rough fingers grabbed onto your wrist, turning you to the man with that gruff voice.

He was tall. His beard, grizzly and grossly outgrown, held a few drops of whatever might be in the bottle he held in his other hand. His clothes were lumpy and held stains, dark eyes pierced through you.

“I’m sure you’re so kind to give a man some money for cigarettes, little girl, huh?”

You stared at the man in front of you, frozen out of fear. Your heart plummeted in your chest and you felt the hand around your wrist tightening. You swallowed thickly but your throat still felt like sandpaper. You wanted to talk but nothing left your mouth.

“Well if I don’t get money you could always pay me differently,” He licked his lips and his eyes roamed over your body. He got hold of your other wrist and you suppressed a whimper.

You wanted to yell at him to let you go. You wanted to kick him where the sun wouldn’t shine. You wanted to scream for anybody to help you. But you couldn’t. You were frozen in place, your voice lost in your throat.

“Hey!”

Another voice.

“Let her go!”

You knew this voice. It was oddly familiar, but you couldn’t comprehend how you knew it.

There was a figure approaching in long, fast strikes and you wanted to go take a look but the man still standing in front of you grabbed you even tighter, which led to another gasp exiting your lips.

You heard your name called and looked in the direction of the newcomer.

Bucky.

It was Bucky.

Relief flooded your body and you finally were able to take a controlled intake of breath again.

“Do you know this guy?” Bucky's concerned gaze bored into you and you shook your head weakly.

That’s all he needed to turn to the guy still having a hold on your wrists. “You let her go right now!” The dangerously low and calm tone of his voice and the way he was talking to you way softer just seconds before let you shiver and caused your head to spin.

The other guy scoffed and let your wrists fall to take a step back, holding his arms up in a surrendering kind of way. Bucky immediately stepped in front of you. “Relax man, did nothing to that girl!”

“You better want to stay the hell away from her or anyone else. I don’t want to see you here again!” Bucky’s voice was laced with a dark, threatening tone, his stance unwavering as he shielded you from the menacing stranger. Despite the age difference, Bucky’s intimidation factor was undeniable.

Said man scoffed and stumbled away a little. Bucky kept watching him till he was out of sight and turned to you in an instant. Not sure if you were okay to be touched, his hands hovered over your arms as he leaned down to catch your eye, his concern evident in every gesture.

“Hey, Y/n, are you okay?”

Your gaze remained fixated on his collarbone, unable to meet his eyes. Absentmindedly, you rubbed the wrist of your right wrist, where the man had gripped you, feeling the tenderness and likely bruises forming there.

“Doll please look at me!” he pleaded, though you remained stoic, your emotions tightly locked away. His worry was palpable, evident in the furrow of his brows and the hesitant hover of his hands, unsure of how to comfort you.

“Eyes up here sweetheart, please!” His voice was softer than you’ve ever heard. Slowly, almost reluctantly, you lifted your head, allowing your gaze to trail up his face until your eyes met his. There was a hint of panic in his expression, his eyes searching yours with such urgency, that it was almost overwhelming. You felt a lump form in your throat at the raw emotion reflected in his blue orbs.

“That’s it doll! Just like that!” He let out a breath of relief but never took his eyes off of you. He signaled to your wrists without breaking eye contact. “Can I take a look?”

You swallowed thickly, your throat tight with emotion, but you gave a slight nod, granting Bucky permission to inspect your wrists. Gently he took your right hand in his left, lifting your sleeve with the other to reveal the red and purple marks beneath. His touch was featherlight as he trailed his fingertips over your sensitive skin, but when you recoiled slightly, he pulled back immediately, murmuring an apology.

With your eyes trained on your wrist, you felt Bucky's finger under your chin to tilt your head up gently, coaxing you to look at him once more. “I’ve got you doll, okay? He’s gone. It’s alright!” he reassured you, a hint of fury underlying his voice as he recalled the man who caused you harm and left you in this state.

Taking a hesitant hold of your hand once again, Bucky brushed his thumb soothingly over the back, his eyes never leaving yours as he watched you intently.

Despite your curt nod, you found yourself avoiding his gaze once more.

“I know it’s hard sweetheart but I really need you to say something. Need to make sure you’re okay. Can you do that for me?” Bucky’s voice was filled with gentleness, patience, and genuine concern, causing a lump to form in your throat.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered the strength to look at him again, your eyes glazed from the overwhelming emotions consuming you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but Bucky heard you.

He squeezed your hand lightly and rubbed his other hand along your upper arm. “No need to thank me, sweetheart! I’m glad I was there!”

“Me too,” you found yourself saying, unable to hold back the gratitude flooding your heart. It was a miracle that Bucky showed up at the right moment, and you will forever be grateful for his intervention. The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t been there sent a shiver down your spine.

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly and he watched you with such fondness and adoration, your knees grew weak. You even managed to muster a small smile in return.

You took a deep, shuddering breath in, feeling the awkwardness settling in as you realized you had never been that close to Bucky before. Although you felt surprisingly grounded in his presence, you couldn’t shake the discomfort of the situation.

Releasing his hand, you rubbed your forehead, avoiding his gaze as you tried to find the right words. “Uhm...thank you, Bucky, really, but I think I’m just gonna…,” you trailed off, gesturing towards the bus stop in the near distance.

“Woah hold on now doll! I’m not gonna let you go home alone!” Bucky protested, shaking his head.

“It’s fine Barnes really! I’m just gonna call Wanda or Pietro. Surely one of them can come pick me up,” you didn’t really consider calling them but you’d feel bad for inconveniencing Bucky when he would be at his flat in a few minutes himself.

But Bucky was determined.

“No need to call them. I’ll drive you! Sam has a car and we’re just, like, two minutes away,” he pleaded, gaze so intense, almost forcing you to look away.

You sighed, feeling torn. “That’s really nice but I don’t wanna bother you furthermo-”

“Y/n you’re not bothering me! Never! Now please let me do this. Let me take you home,” he interrupted gently but firmly, his grip on your elbow a reassuring presence. You tried to conceal your lingering stress, but nothing could hide it from him.

“I-I can’t ask you to do that,” you murmured, your eyes shifting.

“I’m the one asking sweetheart. Please let me drive you home.” His eyes were hard to discern in the dim light, but the sincerity and concern in his voice were unmistakable.

With a sigh and a final look at the bus stop, you nodded slowly. “Okay,” you whispered.

A smile spread on Bucky's face and he gently turned the hand on your elbow to the small of your back to lead you to the flat house.

As you approached the building, you recognized it from the brief time you spent at the party. However, without the thumping bass, overpowering smell of alcohol, and chaotic atmosphere, the place appeared surprisingly cozy in the dim light

Never once leaving contact with your back he guided you to a room at the end of the hallway. He knocked on the door softly.

“Took your sweet time man-” a guy - Sam, you assumed him to be - standing in the doorframe, stopped talking upon noticing you. A slow smile curled upon his lips. “Can see why.”

“It’s not how it looks like,” Bucky hissed quickly, talking through his teeth. “Can I borrow your car?”

“Sure, man,” confirmed Sam, reaching for a key from a hook beside the door. “Don’t be too late for class tomorrow,” he added with a wink.

A lump formed in your throat as you grappled with your thoughts. It was natural to assume Bucky would have certain expectations given his reputation. After all, he was known for his past behavior of sleeping around. The transformation he seemingly went through couldn’t happen overnight, after all.

You found it hard to believe that Bucky would take advantage of your vulnerability, especially considering how he came to your rescue during the unsettling encounter just moments before. Yet, despite this reassurance, your mind continued to wrestle with uncertainty, plagued by lingering doubts and fears.

Bucky could feel you tense beside him and shot daggers at Sam even when said guy already disappeared behind the door.

As he walked you to Sam’s car, Bucky held the door open for you, guiding you inside with gentle reassurance. Determined not to leave you alone for too long, he rushed around the front of the car to take the driver’s seat.

During the drive, silence filled the car as you tried to calm your breathing, focusing on the passing scenery outside the window. Your efforts to quell your anxiety were hardly manageable, due to the bouncing of your leg and your trembling hands, fiddling with the fabric of your jacket.

Bucky discreetly stole glances at you as he drove, noticing your nervousness.

15 minutes of driving later, Bucky came to a halt in front of your apartment complex. You unbuckled yourself and before you realized what was going on Bucky opened the door at your side. You didn’t even notice him getting out of the car.

Feeling weak in your knees you got out of the car. Bucky walked you to your door, hands held by his side in case you needed him and his presence offered you a sense of comfort. As you came to a halt in front of your door, you turned your body to him, trying to muster up a smile. You attempted to convey your gratitude although that unease still lingered in your bones.

“Thank you, Barnes! For everything!”

“No need to thank me, Y/n. I’m glad I could help. Will you be okay though?” His concern was genuine, struggling to leave your side.

He looked so hesitant to leave you, it would have been adorable in other circumstances. You felt guilty for entertaining the thought he would take advantage of your situation. You even believed he would be relieved if you asked him to stay with you. You had to admit, the comfort his presence gave you was easing your anxiety, though you couldn’t ask him to stay.

You conjured up a smile. “I’ll be fine,” you assured him, unlocking your door. Bucky stayed rooted on the spot, returning an unsure smile, looking torn. “I’m gonna be okay, really! Get home safe, Barnes.”

Bucky cleared his throat, evading his eyes for a moment and taking a reluctant step backward, but he remained turned to you. After exchanging a quick goodbye you disappeared behind your door.

Bucky watched you climb the stairs through the small window in the door, his gaze unwavering even as the hallway inside turned dark again. He remained rooted outside, his thoughts consumed by concern for your well-being.

Bucky couldn’t shake the desire to talk to you again, especially since that night at the party. He tried so hard to muster up the courage, never having a problem in that department before, but he was a nervous wreck. Now, in an unexpected turn of events he did get to talk to you again, however, he despised how it had unfolded. Seeing you struggle to hold back tears, desperately trying not to break down in front of him, pained him deeply. It hurt to witness your shock, pleading with you to snap out of your state.

The thought of what could have happened if he hadn’t returned, if he hadn’t forgotten his notebook, made him feel sick to his stomach. The mere idea of leaving you to face that situation alone was unbearable to him. Now leaving you alone so shaken felt inherently wrong in any sense, but he acknowledged he didn’t know you well enough to override your request that you would be fine. His instincts urged him to stay but he had to respect your words and your space.

Bucky seethed at the thought of Sam insinuating that he would use you in such a way. Sure, Sam didn’t know what happened to you and it wasn’t his fault Bucky had a reputation like that, but somehow it made him angry. You meant more to him than that. The mere suggestion of exploiting you for his own gain left a bitter taste in his mouth, and he silently vowed to prove Sam wrong by showing you the genuine depth of his feelings and intentions.

Girls constantly approached Bucky, attempting to touch him in the hallways or slipping their phone numbers into his locker, backpack, or books. Just the other day, a particularly bold girl even tried to write her number on his hand. Although she didn’t succeed, Bucky found himself standing in front of the sink for a while, scrubbing at his hand to erase any trace of her advances.

Bucky knew that he was viewed as nothing more than a means for physical pleasure. And he was okay with that, for an embarrassingly long time. The idea of being in a committed relationship and facing the responsibilities that came with it used to repulse him. His desires were simple - a brief encounter with no strings attached, followed by a swift departure, leaving no room for emotional entanglements. At a certain time, one smirk of a pretty girl was enough to jump into bed with her.

You were pretty too. Beautiful even. He acknowledged that day one. But never did he consider reducing you to a mere physical encounter. He noticed you in the hallways and felt intrigued, contemplating flirting with you just like he did with all the other girls. However, there was something different about you. He felt nervous around you, realizing that he cared about your opinion of him more than he cared to admit. He was strangely exhilarated at finding out you would share a class in second semester, trying to find a way to build some kind of connection with you.

That night, as you expressed your disinterest in frat parties, he felt the pull you had on him, without even knowing you well. The alcohol at the party suddenly tasted sour, the air felt stifling, the crowd too dense, the music too deafening, and the girls vying for his attention became an unwelcome intrusion. Their advances left him feeling an overwhelming sense of distress.

He found himself longing to leave his old reputation behind. He wanted something meaningful, something real, and the only person he could imagine it being with was you.

But right now?

Bucky’s heart sank as he got back to Sam’s car, feeling the strong urge to stay with you and ensure your safety. Sitting in front of the steering wheel and staring at your building, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he should be by your side.

You got stuck in your head after examining your bruised wrists and trying to cool down the swelling with an ice pack. Before your panic attack rendered you useless to do anything you managed to call Wanda and she talked you through it. You stayed on the phone with her until you fell asleep.

****

As you woke up, a familiar sense of unease settled over you, accompanied by trembling hands and a racing heart. The thought of facing another day filled with potential triggers made you hesitate. You did want to attend class, unfortunately though the looming threat of another panic attack weighed heavily on your mind. With a sigh, you made the decision to prioritize your well-being and called in sick, sending a text to Wanda to let her know.

As said girl joined you later, bearing notes and takeout, you found solace in her company on your small couch, eating and talking.

“So uhm,” Wanda began, seemingly nonchalant, but you knew her better than that, ears perking up. “I wasn’t sure if I should tell you but after Science class, I met Bucky waiting outside the hall. He was looking for you.”

Your chewing slowed as you processed her words, eyebrows knitting together, looking at her.

“He came up to me, to ask where you were and if you were okay.”

You swallowed, a wave of panic surged within you. “You didn’t tell him-”

“No! No, of course not,” she interjected you hastily, words tumbling over each other in her haste to reassure you. “I just told him you weren’t feeling well and called in sick but I don’t think he really bought that.” Her smile was sympathetic.

Your appetite forgotten you let your fork clatter into the plastic container, your forehead finding its way to the backside of the couch with a groan of frustration.

Wanda’s light chuckle broke through your troubled thoughts. “He also asked me for your number,” she revealed, her tone surprisingly casual given the weight of her words.

“What?” Your head snapped up, eyes widening in disbelief.

“Didn’t give it to him, don’t worry, though I kinda felt bad for the guy. He looked miserable.” Her voice tinged with sympathy.

Taking a deep breath, you attempted to calm the whirlwind of emotions swirling within you. Gratitude mingled with apprehension as you recalled Bucky’s unexpected kindness during yesterday’s ordeal. You remembered how his proximity seemed to ground you, warmth spreading through your body at the comfort he provided. You could still feel the lingering sensation of his hand on your back, even a day later. And yet, the intensity of those feelings scared you, threatening to unravel the carefully constructed walls you had built around your heart.

“Hey,” Wanda called out softly, her words carrying a gentle insistence. “He genuinely seemed worried. And I’m not trying to get you to befriend him or whatever but…he really is a nice guy, Y/n.”

Your gaze was fixed on Wanda, contemplation furrowing your brow.

“Listen, I don’t know what your problem is with Bucky, but-” she gave you a careful glance, “-if I’m being honest, I don’t think you know it either sweetie.”

Wanda’s words resonated with a truth you had been reluctant to acknowledge. Bucky’s genuine concern had managed to pierce through the barriers you had erected, leaving you grappling with conflicting emotions. Why did you hold onto this grudge so tightly? Was it merely a shield against vulnerability?

As you reflected on Bucky’s actions, a sense of clarity washed over you. There was truly no valid reason to hold onto the grudge you had harbored against him. He truly had consistently shown kindness and concern towards you.

Recalling the instances where he had gone out of his way to make you comfortable, a wave of gratitude washed over you. From saving you a seat in class to rescuing you from a precarious situation with a homeless man to checking in on your well-being through Wanda, Bucky had proven himself to be a decent and caring person.

With a newfound perspective, you realized that perhaps it was time to give him a change.

****

The bus was late, as usual. Today, though, you couldn’t summon the energy to care. Your mind was still swirling with thoughts, and fatigue weighed heavily on you.

Wanda saved you a seat in class, checking in on you again and although you felt way better than yesterday, you couldn’t concentrate. The voice of your professor was merely a blurred murmur in the back of your mind.

With some time to kill before your next class, you and Wanda decided to grab a coffee. However, you barely made it out of your lecture hall before hearing your name called.

Heaving a sigh, you turned around and came face to face with an approaching Bucky.

He came to a halt, looking a little sheepish now that he was standing in front of you. With his hands stuffed in his pockets, and his hair a little disheveled, he cleared his throat, seemingly unsure of where to begin.

“I’ll head out already, Y/n. Take your time.” Wanda spoke up, giving you a quick hug before passing by Bucky and throwing you a wink over her shoulder.

Bucky cleared his throat again, shuffling on his feet a little before meeting your eyes. “So, uhm, are you okay?”

A soft smile tugged at the corners of your mouth, touched by his concern. “I’m fine,” you assured him, fidgeting with your fingers. “Thank you, again!” You added quietly.

He waved away your gratitude with a casual gesture. “No need to thank me doll. I’m glad I could help.”

He smiled softly, biting his lip, though there was a hint of something more in his expression. Sensing he still had something on his mind, trying to figure out how to say it, you remained silent.

“Listen, uh...,” he began, clenching his jaw and avoiding eye contact. “I wanted to apologize for…well for being pushy about the parties and all. Shouldn’t have bothered you like that.”

You blinked, taken aback by his unexpected apology. “Oh, uhm…it’s okay Barnes, really.”

He shook his head, letting out a breath. “Nah, it’s not. This isn’t your scene, should have respected that.” He opened his mouth again but closed it right after, swallowing.

“Don’t worry about it Barnes, it’s alright, seriously.” A tinge of disappointment lingered within you. The realization hit you, that without his invitations to parties, he might not seek you out as often. He only ever did, when asking you to come to his parties. So it would mean he might not annoyingly interrupt you in class, or approach you on campus anymore. You scolded yourself for feeling that way but you somehow didn’t want to lose that.

Needing to take hold of your thoughts, you wanted to get away from here. Your lips curled in a smile. “Alright, uhm, Wanda’s probably waiting for me so-” You were about to turn away but Bucky called your name again.

“Hey, uh-” he seemed nervous, his voice wavering slightly and he cleared his throat, a hand coming up to run through his hair. “You could always come to me - I mean, the frat - when you’re here late. I can always drive you again. Make sure you get home safe.”

He felt bad for bringing up the topic again, but he wanted you to know that he genuinely cared and would feel better if you reached out to him. He would gladly drive you home again, hoping you’d consider taking him up on his offer.

Surprised once more, you blinked at him, processing his offer. You mustered up a smile. “That’s nice, really Barnes, but I think I’ll be okay.”

“Alright, well, just know that I’ll be there if you change your mind,” Bucky replied, his tone sincere, expression soft.

You smiled again, nodded, and bid him goodbye.

Reflecting on the interaction, you couldn’t help but agree with Wanda. Bucky Barnes was a decent guy, held back by his reputation.

****

Sunlight streamed through the windows of the library, casting warm beams that danced upon the wooden tables and bookshelves. It was a stark contrast to the earlier rain, which had cloaked the world outside in a shroud of grey.

The faint whispers of fellow students, the gentle rustle of pages, and the occasional creak of wooden chairs created a soothing ambiance while you browsed through your textbook.

A groan from beside you, however, interrupted that. You lifted your head, diverting your attention to your friend sitting beside you.

“Why is all the information so scattered? Can’t find shit for this stupid paper.” Wanda exclaimed, her brow furrowed in frustration as she stared at her laptop screen.

As you chuckled and leaned in to help Wanda navigate through the vast sea of information on the internet, a sudden gust of wind sent a shiver down your spine, causing you to instinctively turn your head towards the entrance of the library. In walked Bucky, accompanied by the familiar figure of Sam. You quickly averted your gaze, not wanting to be caught staring.

In the two weeks since your conversation, there had been a palpable change in the air whenever Bucky and you crossed paths. And that was a lot. You haven’t necessarily exchanged words but you grew more enthusiastic when seeing him, sending a smile his way, which he reciprocated immediately.

You were sitting in a café last week, nursing a latte, while having light conversation with Wanda and Pietro, as you recognized Bucky standing at the counter. Without thinking you lifted your hand and waved at him when he looked in your direction. His face lit up, crinkles forming at the corners of his eyes as he smiled and eagerly waved back. He seemed to contemplate walking over to you, your hopes rising for a second, but his name called by the barista snapped his head away from you. After getting his coffee he sent another smile your way but left the café. Wanda and Pietro wasted no time in teasing you mercilessly after he was out of sight. The blush on your cheeks evidence of your embarrassment.

“God, this is getting ridiculous,” Wanda scoffed, amusement lacing her features. You turned to her, a hint of confusion littering your features, oblivious to what she was referring to. She nodded subtly to the side, her attention still fixed on her laptop screen. Following her nod, you spotted Bucky and Sam standing in the near distance, both seemingly focused in your direction.

Sam's face lit up with a mischievous grin and he started walking toward you girls, clapping Bucky on the back. Bucky looked visibly distressed, running a hand through his hair, before following behind.

Sam took a seat in front of Wanda and you, his toothy smile lighting up his face. “Ladies,” he acknowledged playfully.

Wanda laughed, continuing to type on her laptop. “What do you want Wilson?” she asked teasingly.

Sam leaned back in his chair, his grin widening. “Just wanted to say hi,” he replied casually, shrugging his shoulders.

Meanwhile, Bucky took a seat next to Sam, looking a little awkward. He shuffled a little, leaning his elbows onto the table.

“Well hi, then,” Wanda said, finally looking up.

As Sam and Wanda dove into a discussion about their research papers, exchanging ideas and sharing insights, Bucky and you found yourselves stealing glances at each other.

There was a warmth in Bucky’s eyes, a softness you still were trying to get accustomed to. You felt a flutter of excitement in your chest, you didn’t even try to suppress.

Bucky cleared his throat, looking solely at you. “What’s your paper about?” he asked, his voice gentle yet filled with curiosity.

You smiled, grateful for the new opportunity to engage him in conversation. “I’m researching the impact of technology on interpersonal relationships,” you replied, the initial awkwardness fading away.

Bucky nodded, his interest piqued. With that you delved into a light conversation, discussing your topic in more detail, diving into the various aspects you were exploring and the questions you hoped to answer. Bucky’s gaze never wavered, his attention fully captivated by your words. You noticed that whenever you tried to turn the conversation back to him, Bucky seemed more interested in talking about you.

As the conversation between Bucky and you flowed effortlessly, you found yourselves delving into deeper topics. Bucky’s genuine curiosity about you as a person was evident, and you felt a surge of warmth spreading throughout your body at his interest in getting to know you better. He asked about your hobbies, your favorite books, your dreams for the future - anything and everything he could think of to get to know you better. A spark elicited in Bucky’s eyes at some point, as if he found something in your words that resonated with him on a deeper level.

It felt like you talked to Bucky for hours though it couldn’t have been more than half an hour. The presence of Wanda and Sam had long faded into the background, as Bucky and you connected. To your disappointment, Sam and Bucky had another class and bid you girls goodbye, wishing you good luck with your papers furthermore.

Wanda held her mouth after they left but the knowing smirk in her glance spoke volumes.

****

Weeks passed in a blissful blur. Your encounters with Bucky on campus evolved into something more than just brief exchanges. Conversations became the norm, each one stretching longer than the last, until you found yourself losing track of time altogether, arriving late to class oftentimes. Whenever your schedules allowed it, Wanda and you would meet up with Bucky and Sam to grab some coffee.

The soft smiles filled with adoration that Bucky sent your way didn’t go unnoticed, even when he thought you weren’t looking. You also noticed the little gestures, the quick hugs, he never seemed to pull away from fist, the hover of his hand over your back when walking around campus with you. He pulled you closer to his side a few days ago, his hand gently gripping the sleeve of your jacket as you navigated through the crowded hallway. Your heart skipped a beat at that.

And then there were moments when he seemed on the verge of saying something before parting ways, his lips parting as if he wanted to speak his mind, but then thinking better of it and closing his mouth with a clear of his throat and a hand running through his brown locks. His former cockiness seemed to have given way to a newfound shyness. He was holding back, afraid to cross some invisible line but you didn’t know how to approach him on that.

You also didn’t know if you eventually could cross a line at this moment. Darkness enveloped the campus, casting eerie shadows that danced in the dim light of the flickering lampposts. Wanda and Pietro were out of town and you decided to stay a little longer and finish up your notes. A bad move on your part.

The once bustling grounds now lay deserted, devoid of the usual throngs of students. A sense of unease settled in the pit of your stomach, gnawing at you with every step. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves in the wind or the distant hum of a passing car. Every shadow seemed to hold a hidden threat, every rustle of the wind a whisper of danger.

You were thinking about the offer Bucky had made you a few weeks ago to go by his flat and let him drive you home again. You considered going to him but although he had made you that offer you didn’t want to inconvenience him. And just walking to his flat and asking him to drive you home? It seemed weird. But as your anxiety intensified and your hands started to tremble, you found yourself walking towards his flat on autopilot. The memory of your previous panic attack loomed large in your mind, threatening to engulf you once again.

There was a guy standing in the doorway with a cigarette in hand. You were approaching cautiously, not sure if this was a good idea.

“Hey, you lost?”

The sound of the stranger’s voice jolted you out of your anxious reverie, pulling you back to the present, momentarily breaking the spell of fear that had gripped you.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you responded. “Uhm, actually I wanted...to Bucky.” Your voice wavered slightly, betraying the uncertainty that still lingered within you.

The stranger raised an eyebrow, eyeing you curiously as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Huh,” he muttered, looking you up and down. “Guy hasn’t had a girl over in weeks.”

You cleared your throat, too caught up in your own anxious thoughts to care about the stranger’s assumptions.

“Well, is he here?”

He nodded, a sly smirk forming on his lips. “Up the stairs, last door to the left,” he replied, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the staircase.

With a weak “thank you” you stepped past him and walked up the stairs, your heart pounding in your chest.

You stood in front of his door, staring at it long enough to notice the cracks in the woods, marring it’s surface, splinters standing out. Your lip was held in a death grip, teeth biting down on it. With a hesitant breath, you finally mustered up the courage to give the door a soft knock, the sound echoing faintly in the empty hallway. As you withdrew your hand you hid the shakiness in the folds of your sleeves.

There was a groan on the other side of the door, as response to your knock. A lump burned in your throat and you played with the thought to just bold out of that house again when you heard the doorknob turning.

“Sam, come on man-” Bucky stopped talking abruptly upon seeing you. His eyes grew wide, eyebrows shooting up, surprise clear as day upon his face.

“Y/n? I-Wow, uh, I didn’t expect you here,” Bucky stammered, shuffling on his feet with his hand running through his disheveled hair in a futile attempt to compose himself. If your mind wouldn’t have been occupied with other things right now you would have found him adorable with his crinkled shirt loosely hugging his frame and hanging over some dark sweatpants, his unruly hair and flushed cheeks. But all you could do was swallow that burning sensation in your throat.

“Uhm,” you choked out, looking at you feet. “I-I’m sorry for bothering you, I just…I didn’t-”

“Hey, hey, doll, it’s alright,” he met you in the hallway, a hand coming up to your upper arm in a sense of urgency. He hooked his finger under your chin to lift your head. You met his eyes, your heart leaving your chest altogether. His face was twisted in worry, brows furrowed deeply, eyes so focused on you, the intensity of it washed over you like a wave. Your breaths still came in too elated, heart beating erratically. “Take some deep breaths for me sweetheart, follow my lead, come on.” He urged you softly.

With Bucky’s guidance, you focused on your breathing, drawing in slow, steady inhalations and exhaling the tension that had taken hold of your body. His thumb continued to trace soothing circles on his skin. As you followed Bucky’s lead, the erratic beat of your heart gradually slowed to a more steady rhythm.

“Atta girl, that’s it!” he whispered, rubbing his other hand up and down your arm. He nodded at you to keep breathing, eyes so intense it was the only thing you could focus on.

Standing directly in front of you and focusing on your eyes, he let your chin up to gently grab your other arm. “You wanna tell me what happened?” His low and gentle tone soothing you.

You took a deep breath, feeling ridiculous out of a sudden to stand here and burden him. “I-My bus didn’t come and-and I don’t know, I got scared I guess and…God I’m sorry Bucky I shouldn’t have come I-”

“Hold on a sec doll,” he interjected, brows pulled together further, concern dripping from his words. “You stayed on campus until now?” A confirming but weak nod of you let Bucky heave a breath. “There’s no need to apologize, sweetheart, I told you you could come, didn’t I? And god help me, I’m glad you did.”

He looked pained to some extent, but mustered up a warm smile. You bit the inside of your cheek, eyes still shifting with uncertainty and your hands were still secured in your sleeves, the nagging thought that you were burdening him still lingering at the back of your mind. Your tense posture didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky and he pulled you in his embrace, engulfing you in a warm hug. He never hugged you like that before but with the way his arms around you tightened and he leaned his head against yours, he supposedly wanted to.

As Bucky held you close, his warm breath tickling your ear and sending shivers down your spine, he whispered words of comfort and reassurance that washed over you like a gentle breeze. You couldn’t quite make out what he was saying, all you could do was melt into his embrace and let the soothing cadence of his voice and the tenderness in his touch ease the knots of anxiety that had gripped your chest.

Bucky withdrew slightly to look at you again, his gaze filled with affection and tenderness. “You want me to drive you home, doll?” he whispered, maintaining the close proximity you two harbored.

As you pondered his question, conflicted emotions swirled within you. Initially, you had sought Bucky out precisely for this reason - to ask for a ride home. But now, something had shifted. The idea of being dropped off alone at home felt less appealing. Wanda and Pietro were likely unavailable, and you hesitated to inconvenience anyone else. Yet, the thought of being alone right now was equally unsettling.

Sensing your hesitation, Bucky gently lifted your head again with his finger under your chin, guiding your gaze to meet his. There was a soft smile you came face to face with. “Sam’s not here for tonight…Do you wanna stay? It’s just us.”

The offer was tempting, but you couldn’t shake the worry of being a bother. “That’s nice Bucky, but I-I don’t want to intrude,” you murmured, matching his quiet tone.

“You’d never intrude, sweetheart! Don’t ever worry about that, alright?” His hand found its way to the small of your back, guiding you into his room.

You settled on his bed as he led you there and couldn’t help but steal a glance around the room. It was surprisingly tidy, save for a small pile of clothes scattered on the floor. Overall, the atmosphere felt organized and put together. Your eyes drifted to his desk - again, neatly arranged - where a framed picture caught your attention. In it was a clearly younger Bucky, with chubby cheeks and a toothy grin. Standing behind him was a man who bore a striking resemblance to him, his father you guessed. A woman was beside him, dark hair in a bun atop her head and a radiant smile, presumably his mother. Cradled in the woman’s arms was a little girl, short brunette hair a little disheveled, and with a pacifier in her mouth but a joyful grin on her face.

A soft smile tugged at your lips as you took in the sight of his family. While Bucky had mentioned having a sister during your conversation in the library a few weeks ago, he had never shown you pictures before.

Bucky entered your field of vision, settling down beside you with a glass of water in hand. He held it out to you and you thanked him gratefully, taking a sip.

You felt Bucky shifting beside you, wiping his hands on his sweatpants, betraying his nervousness. “Do you-” His voice was raspy and he cleared his throat, starting again, “Do you need anything? Are you hungry? Can I get you something?”

You huffed out a laugh, throwing him a grateful smile. “I’m good, Bucky, thank you!”

A hesitant hand came to rest on your knee. “You let me know if there’s something, alright?”

“Will do, Buck!”

He gave you a look. “I mean it, doll!”

You chuckled, being surprised by how easily Bucky managed to ground you, getting you out of your nervous spiraling. “I know, Barnes.”

Bucky watched you, own lips curled in a soft smile. You returned his gaze, warmth spreading through you at the sparkle in his eyes. His hand remained secure on your knee, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your jeans, a gesture that made you yearn for his touch on your skin instead. The amount of adoration twinkling in his gaze made you weak. Seconds ticked by and you still were looking at each other. There was something in his blue speckles that couldn’t bring yourself to look anywhere else. A magnetic pull you were drawn to, holding you captive. You noticed his blues flicker down to your lips for a brief moment, and in response, your own eyes permitted themselves to wander to his. The movement of his thumb stilled on your leg, his hand laying flat and you could feel him leaning in.

Bucky often found himself lost in thoughts about kissing you. When the urge washed over him he imagined leaning in and capturing your lips with his own. But he had always held back, hesitant to take that final step without knowing if you wanted it too.

One time, when you two were walking together through campus, the wind was relentless, whipping your hair around your face as you tried in vain to tame it. Despite your efforts though, the wind was hard to go against and after the fifth failed attempt at trying to tame your hair, you started laughing, Bucky joining in. As he watched you, your hair obscuring your view, he couldn’t help the warmth swelling in his heart, the fondness that made his smile ache in his cheeks at the sight of your laughter. He found himself wishing to pull you close, to gently brush the strands of hair away from your face, and to kiss you with all the pent-up longing he felt. In that moment, all he wanted was to express the depth of his feelings for you in a kiss that would leave you breathless.

He often daydreamed about kissing you in the library. Surrounded by the soft glow of sunlight streaming through the windows, you sat immersed in your studies, your face illuminated by the gentle light. You looked so beautiful, all he could do was admire you. If only you had lifted your head from your notebook, you would have seen the adoring smile that graced his lips. He longed to express his affection for you in the form of a tender kiss, holding you close and sharing a moment of intimacy amidst the quiet serenity of the library. But he couldn’t do that, so he took the chance and admired you from afar.

But the one time he almost really did it was the time you called him ‘Bucky’ for the first time.

You sit in your usual café, nursing a large cup of coffee, the rich aroma wafting up to greet you with each sip. Bucky is seated in front of you, idly fiddling with the sugar packages stored in a box on the table. Your notebook lies open in front of you, pages filled with scribbled notes from your recent class.

After class, Bucky had caught up with you, asking what you were up to. You had mentioned grabbing a coffee and finishing up some notes, and he had decided to tag along. However, as you now sit together in the cozy café, it seems Bucky isn’t entirely pleased with the lack of attention you’re giving him, his relentlessness evident as he fidgets with the sugar packets in front of him.

He grumpily rearranges the sugar packages for the fourth time, his irritation palpable as you remain engrossed in your writing. You hear the crinkle of a sugar packet being opened.

“I don’t need any more sugar in my coffee, Barnes,” you warn him teasingly, without lifting your head from your notebook.

“Everyone needs a little sweetness in their life, doll!” he retorts with a knowing grin, tossing you a wink as you glance back at him. With a mischievous smirk, he lets the sugar cascade into your cup.

“Whatever you say,” you reply with a laugh in your breath, shaking your head in amusement before returning your focus to your notes.

You hear him open another package and let out a sigh. “You better not do that,” you warn again, eyes not lifting.

Another rip of a sugar packet catches your attention, and you perk up to see Bucky holding both open packages over your cup, letting the sugar pour in.

“Bucky!” you exclaim, the volume of your voice drawing glances from other café patrons, but you’re too focused on the playful banter to acknowledge them. “God, I can’t believe you did that,” you groan, pulling your cup closer to your side, in mock exasperation.

As your gaze locks with his, you’re prepared to scold him further but the look on his face catches you off guard. His eyes are wide, mouth agape, morphing into a beaming smile, white teeth on display.

Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “What?”

“Thought I’d never get to hear you say it, doll,” Bucky laughs out, eyes sparking.

“What did I say?” you ask, puzzled by his reaction.

He leans forward, elbows resting on the table while his eyes remain fixed on you. That beaming smile is still plastered on his face, and his blue orbs seem to glow with amusement, sparking brighter than usual.

“You called me Bucky,” he points out, his voice tings with delight.

You took a deep breath in, regretting your slip-up. “Shit, I guess I did.”

Bucky now crosses his arms over his chest, leaning against the back of his seat. He doesn’t seem able to stop the smile on his face. “If all it took was to annoy you then Imma keep doing that from now on,” he declared with a playful glint in his eyes.

Head in your hands you let out a groan. Bucky barks out a laugh in front of you and you reluctantly lift your head to look at him. You point a finger at him. “I’ll keep calling you Bucky, if you stop being annoying!” you propose, trying to stay serious but not being able to stop the corners of your mouth from lifting.

“Can’t say no to that,” Bucky conceded, smile growing fond, affection radiating from him in waves.

He never stopped annoying you but you kept calling him Bucky.

But now, as he sat in front of you, his hand resting on your leg, Bucky felt the familiar urge resurface. You were in his room, smiling at him, looking so beautiful, it took his breath away. Yet, despite the overwhelming desire, he knew he would never take that final step without your explicit consent, considering the circumstances you were here right now. Your state earlier left him uneasy and a nagging guilt was gnawing within him, thinking about that night he had driven you home and then left you alone that shaken. So he needed you to want this, to be sure you were okay. He felt sick at the thought of taking advantage of you in any way.

Thus, he did lean in but didn’t go further than a few inches, giving you the opportunity to make the next move or the space to show him you weren’t ready for that.

Your eyes darted to his lips once more, leaning in yourself. Your foreheads touched after some moments, noses brushing and you saw Bucky’s eyes flutter close, still not moving further. You took a few seconds before closing the gap and pressing your lips to his. Bucky let out a breath through his nose, slowly moving his lips in sync with yours. Again, he let you lead the kiss. His other hand made his way up to your face, the gentle touch of his fingertips brushing over your skin before tenderly cradling your cheek.

Eventually, you pulled away, opening your eyes but staying close to his face. Your hazy smile mirrored his, and he pulled your head back slowly, pressing a kiss to your forehead before looking back at you, fondness clear on his features. “Are you okay?” he whispered, his fingers still caressing your cheek as his intense eyes locked on yours.

You nodded, your voice barely above a whisper as you held his gaze. “Yeah.”

After a few tender moments of loving touches and whispered assurances, Bucky handed you a change of clothes and let you use the bathroom.

Emerging from the bathroom, you were now dressed in a pair of his black shorts and a shirt, the fabric enveloping you in Bucky’s comforting scent. It made your stomach do flips, feeling at ease. A soft smile graced your lips as you took in the familiar aroma.

“I got another blanket, in case you got cold…,” he trailed off as he caught sight of you. His eyes swept up and down your figure, admiring how his clothes draped over your form. Though you couldn’t quite read his expression, the slight blush coloring his cheeks was enough to make you smile sheepishly in response. Bucky cleared his throat - he did that a lot around you - and turned away a little, composing himself.

There wasn’t much space in his bed you recognized as you settled in, but somehow you didn’t mind that much. Bucky sat down on the bed, looking troubled.

“Buck? Something wrong?”

Bucky took a breath, shaking his head slightly. “No,” he breathed out, an inner turmoil in his eyes, “I just…I can sleep in Sams’ bed. Maybe tha-”

“Hey,” you interrupted him softly, “I don’t mind Bucky, really! We can share.” He didn’t look convinced so you sat up straighter and heaved a breath, trying again. “And it would make me feel better,” you admitted quietly.

That did him in, breathing out a sigh and settling in beside you. Though he relented, he still was tense beside you, his muscles stiff. His shoulders were touching yours, so he felt you starting to shiver a little. His head snapped to you in an instant.

“Are you cold? Let me get another blan-” Bucky began, already halfway off the bed before you interrupted him once more.

“Hold on! I…uhm,” you hesitated, searching for the right words to express your request, “Could you maybe…cuddle me?” You fiddled with your fingers, a little nervous about how he would react.

To your relief, you heard him shuffle towards you, and soon you felt his arm wrapping around you. You smiled and turned, positioning your back against his chest. His other arm moved hesitantly under your pillow, enveloping you in a comforting embrace. With Bucky’s presence surrounding you, you felt a sense of security wash over you, easing any lingering nerves.

“Like that?” he breathed in your hair, a whisper so full of emotion.

“Yeah,” you breathed back, a sense of gratitude washing over you, “Thank you!” It wasn’t just a thank you for holding you in that moment; it was a thank you for everything he had done for you. It was a thank you for pulling you out of your anxiety - for saving you from a panic attack you surely would have endured if it wasn’t for him. It was a thank you for him offering his comfort and support in so many ways. And it was a thank you for inviting you to his many parties because although you never really went, it was the foundation of your current relationship.

And he knew. He knew the depth of your gratitude, the depth of your feelings. Because he had learned to read and understand you. Because he had learned to love you. And he would tell you when he thought you were ready to hear it. For now, all he could do was hold you close, squeeze you just a little tighter, and silently convey his unwavering support and profound affection.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #james buchanan barnes #soft bucky #soft!bucky barnes #college!reader #college!bucky #college #frat boy #bucky oneshot

[xmalereader]

Joel Miller X Male Reader

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|| Masterlist ||

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Authors Note: I caved in….anyways, here is a Joel miller shot that takes place before the apocalypse, more of a Modern AU type and less of clickers and death. Prepare yourselves because this one is a sad one. Also, I officially have a schedule for shots every Monday and Friday so be prepared to have another shot tomorrow! You can find Joel miller Masterlist under the Javier Peña/agent whiskey tab.

Summary: Sarah takes notice of her dads changed behavior along with finding a strange picture at her neighbors house that’ll explain everything as to why her dads actions had changed.

Warnings: Angst, slight fluff, mentions of family, pre-apocalypse, break-ups, fear of rejection, slight mentions of homophobia, takes place in 2003, doubts, guilt, Joel is trying, acceptance.

Word count: 3.1k

—

—

Sarah knew that something was wrong when she arrived home after school. The first thing that she noticed was that the house was clean. She always did the cleaning after coming back home since her dad was rarely home and always working and used the extra time to organize the place. The next thing she noticed was the clean kitchen, not only was it clean but there was a meal ready too, showing that the meal had been eaten and some leftovers were left.

She can’t help but raise a brow in questioning, taking in everything before heading upstairs to her room and leaving her back pack by her desk and stepping back out into the hallway where she finds her dad exiting the bathroom. He was looks up startled at his daughters presence and softly sighs in relief. “Scared the hell out of me.” He huffs out before tussling her hair as he passed by her and asks. “How was school?”

Sarah follows him downstairs. “It was fine—boring like always.” She’s quick to add, jumping down the last step and giving the kitchen another glance. “You cooked and cleaned today.” She points out, getting her dads attention as his eyes roam around the room before clearing his throat. “Yeah, finished work early today and took the time to make some dinner.” His response is quick, walking over to the living room and looking out the window, giving him a nice view of the neighborhood.

His daughter stands behind him, still suspicious by his strange actions. She shakes it off and sighs to herself, ignoring the weird feeling she was getting and joining her dad on the couch as they search for a movie to watch and to keep themselves distracted. She told herself not to worry to much about the strange feeling only for it to return again after two days. Except it’s the weekend and she’s returning from her friends house, stepping inside her house only to see her dad wearing some decent clothes. He’s usually wearing plain shirts and his work pants throughout the day either too lazy to change or perhaps it was his style.

Seeing him dressed differently raised questions. “Going somewhere?” Sarah asks, getting her fathers attention who looks over his shoulder and gives her a soft smile. “Just gonna head out with some folks.”

“Dressed like that?”

Joel frowns, looking down at his own outfit and then back at his daughter. “What? Is it that bad?” He asks while she eyes him up and down, shaking her head. “No—just new…have fun though.” She encouraged with a smile on her face while Joel chuckled. “Your uncle Tommy is coming by to babysit you tonight, I’ll be back at nine.” He promises, kissing her on the forehead and rushing out the door with keys in hand. “Don’t open the door unless—“

“It’s uncle Tommy, I know.” Sarah finished and waved him off. “Go.” She added while Joel gives her another smile and leaves her alone until her uncle arrived. Sarah had spent the night in her room while her uncle lied in the living room couch watching Tv. She taps her fingers against her book and began to think about her fathers strange actions.

It wasn’t until the next day that Joel tells Sarah that he and Tommy would be working late and wouldn’t be home. He had advised her to stay at their neighbors house until he returned so that she wouldn’t be alone. The millers had grown to like their friendly neighbor. He was three years younger than Joel, living by himself and he worked in architect. Y/n always welcomed Sarah into his home on days that Joel would be working late, he’d make her some dinner and also bake her some cookies.

Sarah liked her neighbor and knew that he could probably help her with her situation. It wasn’t until after school that she’s inside Y/n’s house, sitting on dining table and finishing up her homework while Y/n sat across from her, his own work spread out on the table as he worked on the new blueprints for his project.

“Can I ask you something?” Sarah finally speaks up. Setting her pencil down and watched as Y/n hums in response, focused on his measurements and drawing out a few lines.

“I think my dads seeing someone.”

Y/n’s pencil snaps, startling the two as he chuckled nervously. “Oops, must’ve gone a little hard on that one.” He laughs softly and sets the pencil aside before clearing his throat. “What makes you think that?” He finally asks.

“I don’t know—he’s just…” Sarah groans. “He’s doing things that he normally doesn’t do and it’s freaking me out.” She whines out.

“Like…?” Y/n raises a brow, urging her to continue.

“He usually doesn’t clean the house, I do that whenever I can. He had a cooked meal ready and he’s going out with friends—which I know he doesn’t really like to socialize and he’s starting to come home early. He’s always late.” Sarah grumbled, crossing her arms on the table and placing her head on top.

Y/n watched the young child sulk as he sighs to himself, moving his work to the side as he sits up straight. “People react in strange ways when they start going out with someone new. These things that he’s doing are examples of change; perhaps this person is making him react differently. I mean, like you said, he’s cooking meals which is something he rarely does along with cleaning and socializing and coming home early. I mean—“ he chuckled. “What if he isn’t seeing someone and just wants to change the way he does thing? A clean home along with a nice meal for his daughter, trying to know new people and extend his friendships, wanting to come back home early to be with his family.” He points out.

Sarah listens to his words and gives a few nods. Understanding why her dad would make changes and perhaps did take notice of current things that needed to change in order to improve his life a little. She kept thinking about her dad that the silence between her and Y/n is cut when Y/n silently asks.

“How would you feel about your dad dating someone?” His eyes focus on his work again, taking his pencil and sharpening it while focusing on the lines. He waits for her response which takes a few seconds for her to speak up. “I don’t know…I’d want him to meet a nice girl who’d make him happy. Someone that I could also get along with too and maybe have a mom again.” She giggled a little at the idea of having a family again. She was focused on the idea of her dad being happy again that she doesn’t notice the sad smile on Y/n’s face.

“That’s—that would be nice for you and Joel.” He said.

The rest of the day is spent with the two finishing up their own work and baking some cookies that Sarah later packs up to take back home. Once the sunset and the neighborhood grew quiet was when Joel finally returned back home from work, knocking on his door to pick up Sarah.

Y/n unlocks his door and gives Joel a smile. “She’s getting her things.” He let’s Joel know and offers him to wait inside while Sarah shoved her things inside her backpack. “Hey dad!” She calls out, zipping up her bag and holding up a ziplock stuffed with cookies. “Y/n made chocolate chip cookies, saved you a few.”

Joel chuckles at Sarah, pulling her close into a hug and kissing her head. “They look delicious.” He snatched the bag from her hands, causing the twelve her old to pout. “Hey!” She tries to take them back from home but he holds the bag away from her reach as she groans, gripping his forearm and trying to pull him down but Joel didn’t pudge.

Y/n laughs at the sight and shakes his head. “Alright, that’s enough you two.” He easily takes the cookies from Joel’s hand and hands them back to Sarah, earning a glare from Joel which he ignores. “Here.” He hands her the ziplock bag and clears his throat. “Uh, Sarah why don’t you head back home? I need to speak to your dad real quick.”

Sarah gives her dad a glance who nods. “Go ahead, I’ll be there in a minute.” She gives him a nod and bids Y/n a goodnight before leaving the house. The two adults standing alone in the living room.

“I spoke to Sarah.”

Joel looks up. “About us?” He swallows nervously.

Y/n shakes his head. “No, not really.” He sighs out. “She was worried about you and thought that you’d been going out with someone. I asked her on what her opinion was on you dating.” His back is against the wall, leaning against it.

“What did she say?” Joel takes a small step forward.

“She said that she wanted you to find someone that made you happy along with starting a family again.”

Joel smiles. He didn’t know how Sarah would feel about him dating again after years of being on his own. His daughters happiness always came first and he didn’t want to mess things up. “That’s—“ He looks over at him only to see a hint of sadness in his eyes, causing his own smile to falter.

“Joel, she wants a Mother.”

Joel quickly understand what he was saying. The two had been dating for six months, keeping their relationship a low profile and not letting anyone know. Joel knew how people frowned upon couples who were the same sex, he wasn’t afraid of letting the public know but he was afraid of his own daughters thoughts and what she would say and think about him. He didn’t know if she’d accept the relationship or if she’ll feel comfortable around them. He didn’t know if their bond will be the same if someone else came into their life.

“Your daughter comes first and you know I can’t give her what she wants.” Y/n whispered, pushing himself off the wall and approaching Joel. He watched him carefully as the older man shakes his head, already knowing where this conversation was leading too. “We could tell her.” Joel blurts out.

“I don’t know, Joel.” Y/n sighs, looking down. “I don’t want to be the one who ruins a family. We both already knew how this would end if things didn’t go the way we wanted.” His tone is soft but full of pain. “Joel—“

“Please, don’t say it.” Joel is shaking his head, stepping forward and pulling him close. “We can’t end things like this not after I finally found someone to love again. I won’t just throw everything away and pretend like what we head meant nothing.”

Y/n didn’t want this either but had no choice. He blamed himself for falling in love with a man, less alone with a child he cared deeply about. He too cared for Sarah and sometimes saw her as his own daughter whenever they spent time together but after what she said he couldn’t bare to be the one to change her life. Joel’s daughter came first and knew that wouldn’t change.

He gentle nudged Joel, taking a step back and looking up to him. “We both know what happens after this.” He whispered, giving him a sad smile, holding back tears. “Goodbye, Joel.”

Joel stands frozen, looking into Y/n’s eyes as the other looks away, hiding the pain that lord behind his eyes. Joel wanted to reach out and hold him close in his arms and tell him that he loves him but knew that wouldn’t change things. Instead he gives him one last look and leaves the house, closing the door behind him quietly and making his way back to his own house where Sarah waits sitting in the living room, watching Tv and eating her cookies.

When Joel returned she looked over to him and frowns. “Dad, are you okay?” She stands from her spot and approached him.

“Yeah I’m alright, baby girl.” His response is faint.

“Then why are you crying?”

—

It’s been two weeks since their last conversation. Sarah still stayed at Y/n’s place after school and was picked up by Joel each time he came back home. The first few days of seeing each other again they fake their smiles and feelings from each other. Ignoring the headache that the two have and forcing themselves to continue on. Joel stopped picking up Sarah after the fourth day.

Every night, Y/n would hear the familiar truck engine arrive next door. Signaling Joel’s return from work and letting Y/n know that Sarah is to get back home. He’d help her pack up and would stand outside watching her leave his place and entering safely into her own house. There were only a few times that he caught glimpses of Joel leaving his house early in the morning, getting ready for work. He tried his best to avoid any interactions with Joel, rushing inside his own house whenever he saw the familiar truck approaching. As childish as it sounded he couldn’t face joel.

During the second week he was helping Sarah with a school project, making a board and helping her with gluing different printed out imagines while she did the writing. When Y/n hears the engine he glanced up at the clock, taking notice that Joel always came back home at eight thirty. He sighs to himself and sits up from his spot on the floor. “Alright, kiddo. Time to go home.”

“Awe, we were almost done.”

Y/n chuckled, gathering up her things and placing them inside her folder. “You can finish back at your place, you just have to glue these last few pictures and you’ll be done.” He hands her the folder which contained all of her homework. “Fine.” Sarah puts her things away and smiles widely. “Can I borrow your Walkman while I do homework?”

“You do know that no one uses those anymore?”

“I know but you have good music.”

Y/n rolls his eyes and nods. “Fine, why don’t you go get it in my room while I finish cleaning. It should be on the nightstand next to my bed or in the drawer.” He calls out to her as she rushed upstairs to his bedroom where he kept his Walkman.

Sarah stalks inside the room, still not used to entering places that didn’t belong to her. She approached the nightstand and pulls the drawer open to find the Walkman with no headset. She sets it on his bed and digs around his drawer until she finds the headphones, smiling in triumph as she held them in her hands. She goes back to close the drawer only to take notice of a picture of her dad sticking out from underneath a book.

Her curiosity gets the best of her and slides the photo out. Holding it between her fingers as she looks at the picture to see her dad giving the camera a smile while Y/n stared at her father, recognizing his expression. She quickly tucks the photo away and collects her things while rushing downstairs.

“Did you find it?” Y/n asks, startling Sarah a little while she nods. “Yeah, I found it.” She shows him the Walkman and gets her bag and poster. “Let me walk you out—“

“I’m fine! I gotta finish this quick, goodnight!” She rambled out while slamming the door behind her, leaving a stunned Y/n while she ran back home.

“You alright?” Joel suddenly asks upon seeing his daughter running inside the house frantically, rushing to her room and putting her things away while walking back downstairs to find her dad with raised brows. “You okay?” He asks again, worried about his own daughter.

“I think so.” She opens and closes her mouth. Hesitate to speak as she glanced at her dad who focused on making himself a sandwich. His old habits had come back after two weeks. He was back to his old self which didn’t surprise Sarah. “I asked Y/n if I could borrow his Walkman so, that I could listen to some music while finishing my homework.” She began to say. “I was in his room and found a picture…it was you and him together.”

Joel grows tense, his appetite gone as he pushed the finished sandwich to the side and cleared his throat. “Yeah?”

Sarah nervously approached her dad. “I didn’t think much about it until I saw Y/n’s expression and the way he looked at you. It’s the same look that you used to give mom whenever she smiled or when she’d do something that you liked.” She picked at her nails, looking at her dad every once an awhile. “Did something happen between you two?” Her voice is small.

Joel takes notice and leans against the counter. He didn’t think that she’d find out about them, instead he thought that he’d continue on with life and pretend like his relationship with Y/n meant nothing and that the two never did anything. Now, here he stood in front of his daughter who’s asking about their relationship. He felt guilty from hiding his relationship from his own daughter but had his reasons as to why he was hiding it, afraid of losing his own daughter and ruining the loving bond that he had with her.

“Dad.”

Joel is pulled out of his thoughts, putting his attention on his daughter. “No.”

Sarah frowns at her own dad.

“Then why are you crying?”

#Joel miller x male reader #Joel miller shot #Joel miller #the last of us x male reader #the last of us shot #the last of us hbo #Pedro pascal #pedro pascal x male reader #one shot #au

[thebestbooksaround]

This is a Buddie fic rec list where "one of them isn't a firefighter" That makes me warm and happy every time I read them <3

Part 1 || Part 2

Exploding Coffee Machines by inkinmyheartandonthepage (@inkinmyheartandonthepage) | 9k | General

Buck couldn’t be blamed for falling in love with his neighbour. He was powerless against the Diaz boys and wanted nothing more than to be swept up in their everything. Buck thought that Eddie felt the same, that their feelings of more than just being platonic best friends was mutual. Buck had been hopeful that Eddie inviting him to his boss’s house to meet his friends and co-workers meant that they were taking a step in the right direction.

A step that now Buck was going to be late for OR Buck gets burned at work and worries that he's blown his shot with Eddie when he runs late to meet his friends.

What is Love For $2000? by fayevian 17k | Mature

On the screen, the camera pans down as they introduce the contestants. Mary, on her 3rd day winning streak, is a dowdy teacher type. Center stage is occupied by a graying man with loopy handwriting named Auggie. And all the way to the right is… Evan. Damn. --- One night when Eddie can't sleep, he discovers the hottest Jeopardy contestant of all time (objectively). With the "help" of his team and his fairly good working knowledge of Twitter, they devise a plan to get Evan (from Jeopardy) to slide into Eddie's DMs. It works surprisingly well.

i like you so much (it's kinda gross) by brewrosemilk, stardustbuddie (@gayhoediaz) (@wh0re-behavi0r) | 10k | Explicit

Buck Buckley (@/firefighterbuck): @/eddiediaz I’ll never be able to tug your hair now, huh?

Eddie Diaz (@/eddiediaz): @/firefighterbuck It’s against the rules, anyway. You don’t look like a fighter, though. What situation would we be in that would make you want to tug my hair?

(Or: Eddie is an MMA fighter and Buck thirsts on twitter.)

you make the world taste better by farfromthstars (@buckactuallys) | 11k | Teen

They follow the room numbers down the hallway until the last door on the right. It’s slightly ajar, and when Eddie knocks politely, it opens further.

“Hey,” a cheerful, male voice says. “You guys are early!”

When Eddie spots the source of the voice, he nearly swallows his tongue.

The man is tall, with broad shoulders and huge arms, a sunny smile on his face that looks so genuine Eddie can’t help but smile back. There’s a splash of pink over his one eye, his hair is just the slightest bit curly, and his eyes are startlingly blue. He’s also about 80% legs, and leaning on a cane to walk.

Belatedly, Eddie remembers that he should say something too, not just stare at this guy approaching them.

“Uh,” he starts eloquently. “Sorry. This one was getting impatient at home ~ Newly arrived to LA, Eddie decides to take his son to parent/child cooking classes. The instructor is so much more than he expected

stupid people. by brewrosemilk (@gayhoediaz) | 160k | Explicit

New in Los Angeles, and having recently admitted to himself that he's gay, Eddie figures that hiring a sex worker might be a good way to keep his private life cut off from his job and his son. A way to keep things from becoming too complicated.

It works. For a while.

your dreary mondays by hammersmiths (@henswilsons) | 33k | Teen

“Wait, you need a sitter?” Chimney says. Eddie nods. “Maddie’s brother got back in town a few nights ago, he’s looking for work.”

Eddie frowns. He doesn’t know much about this mysterious brother of Maddie’s – doesn’t even really know much about Maddie, either, aside from being Chimney’s girlfriend – but he’s pretty sure every time he’s been brought up in conversation it’s not been particularly inspiring. “Is this the brother who flunked out of college because he spent all his tuition on a motorcycle?”

Chimney colours a little. “Um. No?”

or, Buck babysits Christopher and Eddie is—fine about it, actually.

one single thread of gold (tied me to you) by heartbeatdiaz (@heartbeatdiaz) | 4k | Teen

Eddie doesn't know much about Chris' science teacher, except that he's his son favorite and apparently knows everything there's to know. ( Those were Christopher's words. )

So when he enters the classroom, expecting an old man dressed nicely but a little old-fashioned as the science teacher, his whole life crashes to a halt.

"Evan?" The man who's leaning against the desk, looking at some papers, suddenly startles and looks up at Eddie with wide blue eyes.

"Holy shit," It's what the man says after spending at least a minute opening and closing his mouth. or; Eddie met Evan when he was a bartender in Peru and Eddie was on vacation with his cousins. They had a one night stand and Eddie woke up the next morning to an empty bed and a disappointed heart. Just for the same guy to end up being Chris' teacher years after.

always glad you came by foxwatson (@eddiediazes) | 5k | Teen

Buck is the incredibly kind but incredibly straight bartender at Eddie's local gay bar. Eddie is trying very, very hard not to be pathetically in love with him, and is failing miserably.

“Hey, you’re back,” Buck had said, greeting him with that sun-bright grin, and Eddie had yet again been reminded why he’d started questioning his sexuality.

“Well, I get one night off a week. And tonight I could really use the drink.”

Buck’s brow had furrowed, and he got Eddie his favorite beer without even asking again what it was. “You need to talk about it? Assuming I read you right and you’re the kind of guy who talks to a bartender instead of a therapist.”

Eddie had winced theatrically. “Ouch. That obvious, huh?”

“Hey, man, you’re the one that told me you started coming here on your coworker’s advice. Feels like something you’d get from a therapist, if you had one.”

see the stars with my morning eyes by trippedandfell (@trippedandfell) | 3k | Teen

“So,” Buck announces, sitting down between Hen and Chimney at the concessions stand. “I think Eddie’s trying to get me to sleep with him and his fiancée.”

or: Eddie calls Lucy his partner. Buck extrapolates.

walking on sunshine by fallingthorns (@fallingthorns) | 5k | Teen

“Shut up,” Buck grumbles at the dog. “It’s not a crush.”

Buck walks out of the room, out the backdoor, and into the yard, trying to ignore his large and judgmental dog following behind him.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Buck tells him as he gets the hose out to start watering his plants. “Keep it to yourself.”

“Who are you talking to?”

Buck startles and drops the hose, doing a quick 180-degree turn and coming face-to-face with Eddie. He’s clearly standing on something, elbows folded over the top of the fence and chin resting on them as he looks at Buck. His expression looks almost fond and it kind of makes Buck want to both preen and die of embarrassment. -- Or, the one where Buck owns a doggy daycare, has a large dog with an attitude, and is hopelessly in love with his new neighbor.

Under Any Roof by moncuries (@moncuries) | 10k | Teen

Eddie Diaz does not need a noisy neighbor on top of all the shit he's trying to work out.

But he does make really good mac and cheese. -- “You know,” And Buck is meeting his eyes now. They’re uncannily blue. Like Kool-Aid or popsicles. “If you want, I could show you what I get up to up there?”

What? WHAT? Eddie feels heat spread from the tips of his ears to his toes. No way had he just gotten propositioned before sunrise in the decrepit hallway of their apartment building. “Um. No.” He backs up until his calves brush the door to 101. “Thank you, really. But no.”

my house of stone, your ivy grows by stayeven (@demieddie) | 7k | Mature

When Eddie resigns himself to buying sex toys in person—despite the popularity of online ordering now—he expects to be embarrassed and overwhelmed. What he doesn't expect is to leave with a crush on the employee with captivating blue eyes.

and we can stay all day by trippedandfell (@trippedandfell) | 3k | Teen

“So let me get this straight,” Hen says, once she’s stopped laughing at him. “Your nerd crush-

“-Evan Buckley,” Eddie miserably interjects.

“Your nerd crush,” Hen repeats, waggling her eyebrows. At the kitchen table beside her, Chimney is grinning like Christmas just came early. “Read your drunk tweet and then sent you animal facts via DM?”

or: Buck's a zoologist. Eddie's pretty sure he's in love.

#Fics I love #Buddie #Eddie Diaz #Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley #911onfox #911 fan fiction #buddiefanfiction #Buddie fic #911 #911 fox #911 abc #911 on abc

[specterllaw]

Mommy or Ma'am? - Mike Ross x Reader / Older Brother Harvey

Summary: After a hospital scare, Mike is put on babysitting duty, which quickly turns into a fun morning for you both

Warnings: SMUT, Switch! reader Switch! Mike

Harvey knew getting Jessica to hire you was a bad idea, he thought he could fully trust you though. You were twenty two it was your first real job, even it was just making copies for everybody in the office when needed.

I was going smoothly for awhile until Monday Morning rolled around, Y/n was on edge because not only did she have tests coming up but she also had sports, work, and helping her older brother Harvey keep his penthouse and office clean and neat. She felt like she was losing it, so whenever she was woken up at 6AM to go to the office she wanted to start crying, she hadn't even been to bed really, only falling asleep twenty minutes before Harvey even woke her up.

You were stuck in the copier room, taking stacks of papers from different associates, and partners and just coping them over and over again. It was working smoothly until you dozed off coping papers and mixed up the order of them, now realizing you messed up very important documents your breathing started to shallow. You heart rate was speeding up and you started to feel dizzy and hot, holding onto the table next to the copier tightly you heard somebody's rushed footsteps approach you all before your eye sight went black. "Woah woah woah" Mike said taking in your unusual state holding you up quickly as your body went limp "Louis! Rachel!" He yelled trying to shake you lightly "C'mon Y/n, wake up" He whispered nervously, not knowing what was going on with you, as he saw Louis walking up to the door he took a breath of relief "Stay here with her, I'm gonna call an ambulance and go get Harvey" Mike said urgently, gently laying you on the ground, using his suit jacket as a cushion under your head, waiting until Louis knelt next to you to try and wake you before rushing through the firm "Donna! call 911! now" He said checking Harvey's office only to see it empty "Mike! Calm down what's going on?" Donna asked worried standing up and resting a hand on his chest "I walked in to get copies from y/n and as soon as I walked in, she fell to the ground- where's Harvey?" He asked quickly before rushing to Jessica's office seeing Harvey sitting in front of her desk. "What do you need, Ross? We're having a very important-" Mike cut Jessica off quickly, and rudely. "Y/n passed out, I don't what happened" He whispered, Harvey looked at Jessica and then Mike "Damnit" he huffed standing up quickly rushing to the copier room right as paramedics were coming up from the elevator and rushing to the same room as him.

Whenever you woke up seeing your room empty made your heart hurt, not even Mike showed up to check on you? What even happened? Right before you could decide on what happened you hear the door latch and in rushes Mike and Harvey fighting on who gets in the room first. "Y/n" Harvey sighed sitting on the side on your bed "Don't ever do whatever you did again" He demanded, thinking he was talking about you messing up the copies and files you started to tear up "I-I'm sorry" You whimpered, terrified you might get fired for all of this "For what? I mean..Whenever you feel worked up..come find me..I understand more than you know, y/n/n" he whispered running a hand over your hair to smooth it out "I get panic attacks too...instead of...blacking out..I puke"He whispered, you studied his face, that explained all the mornings before his trials he'd get sick. "Same goes for you then..come find me" You whispered to him grabbing his hand squeezing it "So what happened?" You added on tilting your head "Exhaustion, y/n" Harvey said sternly "Which means, you're taking the next two days off, to rest, recharge" He said turning his head as Mike coughed awkwardly. "Okay kid, I'll let you speak, but I swear if you try anything with my sister I will kill you" Harvey stated seriously and confidently "Okay okay" Mike grumbled raising his hands up in the air before taking Harvey's seat, Harvey taking a step out into the hallway to call Jessica.

"Mr. Ross" You mumbled, you still felt a little sleepy from whatever they gave you but you were desperate to wake up "Ms. Specter" He quipped back running his hands down his pants legs. "You okay, Mike?" You asked softly sitting up to rest a hand on his shoulder "Y/n..I like you" He whispered "More than a friend, more than a co-worker, and I wanna like you as my girlfriend..but I don't want your brother to kill you" Mike added on resting a hand on yours "How long have you felt like this Mike?" You whispered using your other hand to cup his cheek "Weeks.....You're just..so kind and sassy, and the way you give Harvey shit is just...the proud look you have on your face after you make him speechless is adorable" He rambled "I would have you make copies of random words I had typed up just to see you..that's what I was on my way to do whenever I came into the copier room and found you leaning on the table about to fall.." Mike rambled even farther before you giggled and kissed him deeply

"Can you not shut the hell up Mike?" You mumbled against his lips as he resting a hand on yours, jumping away whenever he heard the door open "Excuse me!" Harvey yelled looking at you both "Care to explain yourselves, children?" He asked crossing his arms like a mother.

You were surprised to see Harvey agree to let Mike stay over, he claimed it was just to 'help you sleep, like you claimed' but you felt like he preferred you not to be home. As you walked into your room you smiled as Mike who was already ready for bed, striped to nothing but his boxers, truth was you and Mike had slept together, a couple of times, you both had agreed it was strictly friends with benefits until just yesterday at the hospital. "Ready for me to help you sleep?" Mike quoted playfully "Yes sir" You giggled climbing onto the bed, straddling Mike's lap as you looked down at him "Ah ah, Princess needs to rest, let me do all the work, baby" he whispered before using his hips and body force to flip you two over to where he was hovering over you.

"Look. At. Me" Mike demanded, you were on your third orgasm now, Harvey was long gone at work now and Mike was spending the day inside of with you, specifically taking turns making each other cum, but now Mike had taken it into his own hands to make you forget your own name, and you were 10000% okay with that. You felt Mike's hand grab your chin forcefully having you look up "I said look at me." He growled as he kept grinding his hips, his dick still buried six and a half inches deep inside of you, you moaned loudly leaning your head further back into the pillows, biting your lip as you made eye contact with Mike, whining and moaning loudly again. You couldn't help it, between his shiny lips from going down on you, to the messy ass hair from you pulling on it, or making the sex drunk look with the lazy smirk as his face as he fucked you into oblivion. "F-Fuck Mike!" You whimpered as he spit forcefully down where his cock entered inside of you before rubbing your clit with two fingers. You couldn't take it, you wanted to scream but you knew your brother would get a noise complaint and he'd know what you two were doing, home alone.

"My slut can take it" Mike whispered in your ear as he wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing tightly as he started to thrust his hips alot faster than he previously was "Fuck fuck fuck Mike!" You screamed trying to close your legs but Mike just held them back open, continuing the sweet abuse on your clit, you could feel yourself getting close to the breaking point of cumming again and you knew Mike didn't care. You gasped loudly arching your back as he started fucking you alot faster, the hand around your throat tightening and it just added to your pleasure. "Cum, slut" Mike growled, not letting his hips falter its pace as he watched you cum, the way your face scrunched up, or the way your pussy squeezed around his cock as tight as possible, or maybe it was the fact you were screaming his name while leaving scratch marks all down his back but whatever it was, he wanted to remember it forever. You started to whimper, his cock moving inside of you beginning to become way too much for you to handle "Hold on baby..Use your words, you know what to say to stop, Daddy's so close though" Mike panted as he kept fucking you, his little whimpers were enough to get you wet yet again, but this time it sparked an idea. Once Mike started to pull out you glared at him, giving him a look that says 'you'll regret that' "Keep fucking me, baby" You whispered grabbing his boxer waist band that was tugged down below his cock, using it to pull him back closer, and his cock back deeper inside of you "Keep fucking mommy" You moaned arching your back, Mike whined before rolling onto his back pulling you ontop of him "Fuck keep talking please, you're so fucking hot" He moaned grinding his hips up "So Mike Ross is also a bottom?" You gasped playfully before holding his hips down "In that case, hips down, slut" You demanded before starting to grind and bounce your hips slowly on his lap, moving his cock in and out of you at a slow pace, making Mike try and sit up quickly, once he realized that wasn't happening he attempted to try and speed up your pace by thrusting his hips up but you just grabbed his hair and tugged it back, using the opportunity to leave hickeys down his neck. "F-Fuck Ma'am" Mike whined sitting up holding you close to him before taking one of your nipples in his mouth, swiping his tongue over it along with gently nipping at it, all making you increase the speed you were going. Mike was a whining wiggling mess, desperate to fuck you again and get his pleasure, he hadn't been a bottom since high school when he fucked the popular girl so this was extremely extremely hot for him.

"You wanna fuck me, baby?" You whispered in his ear dragging your nails down his back "Yes. yes yes yes Mommy, ma'am, yes, whatever you want me to call you just please let me fuck you, I wanna make you cum again" He whined trying to move his hips up against you as you lifted your hips up so it was just the tip inside of you. "Then take whats yours, Mike.." You whispered before kissing him deeply, he flipped you again, fucking you alot more erratic and harder, slamming into your pussy like it was the last time he'd ever fuck anybody. "Fuck!" You both shouted, yours more of a moan while Mike's was a full whine. You gasped feeling him cum inside of you, something you weren't expecting considering he had a condom, you couldn't think too much about it as you felt that familiar knot in your stomach snap as you came for the fifth or sixth time that morning.

As Mike pulled out you watched him stare down in horror and shock "Y/n..The condom broke.." He mumbled looking towards you as you were laying down trying to catch your breath.

#harvey specter #mike ross #suits #suits netflix #suits usa #mike ross x reader #suits tv #Mike ross smut #harvey specter x reader

[crappymixtape]

steve harrington • requests // asks

( ANY REQUESTS AND ASKS FOR ALL CELEBRATIONS, SEASONAL THEMES, AND ONE-OFF INBOXES I GET, STEVE x YOU // mature content marked appropriately )

🔥 BECAUSE OF YOU, SERIES ( 500 FOLLOWER REQUEST )

PART 1 • PART 2 • PART 3 • PART 4 • PART 5 // ( 18+ ) ❝ an enemies to lovers fic with Steve? 💙 maybe they have to put aside their differences to fight upside down stuff and realize they actually have a lot in common 👀 • 18+ | ( 3.1k – little bit of king!steve, mostly angst with a dash of fluff, enemies to idiots in love, steve x reader )

👯 1000 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION

"play it cool" – 1000 CELEBRATION REQUEST, requesting the cd because i think i need to explore more music and this seems like a good way to do that! | ( song x blurb with steve harrington x reader – this one is a lil fluffy, a lil flirty, a lil fun – recommended to listen to your song while reading! )

"don't go dark again" – 1000 CELEBRATION REQUEST, oh baby, you know I gotta ask for a song for my beloved, steve | ( song x blurb with steve harrington x reader – this just leaned real angsty, hurt / comfort for a monday morning – recommended to listen to your song while reading! )

"honey, i've got it bad for you" – 1000 CELEBRATION REQUEST, can i pls request a love note from steve <3 as for mood anything a little lovelorn and fluffy will do | ( love note steve harrington x reader, little fluffy, little lovesick, lots of sweet )

🎄 A VERY MERRY MIXTAPE – WINTER THEMED ASKS

"very merry mixtape" winter!theme REQUESTS are nested under the series / multi-part master list post *18+

👯 500 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION

"don't make me say it" – 500 CELEBRATION REQUEST, you make me want things I can’t have prompt | ( 2k – mostly angst, dumb boi steve, and a little fluff right at the end to take you home, steve x reader )

"i hate you ( not )" – 500 CELEBRATION REQUEST, love a good enemies to lovers smutty fic – anything works, just lots of sarcasm and name calling to build up the tension • *18+  | ( 3.6k – a nice lil mountain of angst that rolls down into a big ol’ valley of smut, steve x reader )

"good love makes you hesitate" – 500 CELEBRATION REQUEST, don’t do this here prompt | ( 2.2k – all of the angst, tiny bit of fluff, best friends to lovers, steve x bff!reader )

💌 CRAPPYMIXTAPE INBOX ASKS

"you gotta help me, baby" – REQUEST -> fluffy one about you having a summer job babysitting and Steve always coming over to keep you company...idc just Steve being a massive simp as always | (  2.3k, modern!day au, fluff, established relationship, steve x you, steve x reader )

"shut up and kiss me" – REQUEST -> fluff prompt #25 "shut up and kiss me” • you get laid off and go back to hawkins for the weekend to wallow with your friends and the gang seizes the opportunity to try and get you two dummies to figure it out | ( 5.7k – fluff, a little angst, mostly fluff, friends to lovers, steve x you, steve x reader )

"smoke and glitter" – REQUEST -> robin's been begging you to throw a party down yb the lake on your uncle's farm, like on another level, so you finally give in and who does she drag along? some co-worker from the mall and he's a total dork...right? | ( 2k, fluff, friends to lovers, steve x you, steve x reader )

💌 MOOD BOARD x SONGS ASKS

"idiots -> lovers" steve harrington x you, idiots / enemies to lovers

"valentine's day" steve harrington x you, soft / intimate *18+

"best friends -> lovers" steve harrington x you, bffs to lovers

"enemies -> lovers" steve harrington x you, enemies to lovers at work *18+

#steve harrington #stranger things #steve stranger things #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #stranger things fanfiction #makeacrappymixtape #steve x you #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington smut #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington request #asks #moodboards

[good-griief]

'school girl' crush

so… i've been seeing so many milf!reader x ellie stories so i had to write this write a little one shot (i may have to make a part 2)

During summer, as a college student in need of extra money, Ellie ran a daycare with her friend Dina, who was only doing it so her son had friends to play with. Now, though, Dina had met a woman named Mel, who also needed friends for her new kid, and Ellie was ready to send in her informal resignation. 

“You’re leaving?” There was one reason she wanted to stay. This adorable little toddler, Celeste. She had the biggest eyes, and the cutest hair always in little braids. She was always chatting away and stuffing her face.

But why she wanted to stay had to do with Celeste’s mother. Ellie had practically fallen in love with her. She must’ve been five or so years out of college, younger to be a mother, but definitely older than Ellie and her friends. Ellie assumed she was single, the kid’s other parent never picking her up. In fact, with that body, Ellie hoped she was single. 

Sure, she was being a bit of a perv, imagining what this woman’s body would look like outside of yoga pants and a tank top, but she couldn’t help herself when the summer heat was messing with her head like this— at least that was what she told herself. 

You, on the other hand, knew she was far too young for you. She was a college kid with a crush, but that didn't mean you didn't find her cute; always taking her shirt off around the time your SUV pulled up and swimming with the kids so she could show off her tanned, toned body. 

She’d walk your girl to your car, talking with her the whole way and smiling at you when she greeted you. 

“Mama!” Celeste would cheer, running with a waddle over to you as Ellie watched with a smile. 

You would crouch to hug her, laughing as she clung to you, but you were far too tired from work most days to lift her up and convince her to sit in a carseat. She always wanted to sit in front with you, and you always refused, but it was even worse when she hadn’t seen you all day. 

Ellie would get Celeste into her carseat for you, buckling her in and giving her an extra snack to convince her before she spoke to you until Dina called her back in. 

This time, you’d started the conversation, asking whether or not it was true what you heard your daughter tell you the day before. 

“Oh, uh, yeah. Dina found another mom, so…” She shrugged. 

“Well, that’s too bad…” You sighed, leaning against your car as you pushed your sunglasses up. You pointed your thumb to the backseat, where your toddler had already passed out. “She’s really attached to you. I don’t think I can send her back if you’re not there.”

“Aw, man… Really?” You hummed, brows raising. “Well, I guess I could—“

“Do you think you would wanna babysit for me?” You asked. Ellie paused, swallowing. Something about your attitude today was different, like you were finally acknowledging her advances. “You could come over in the mornings, same time as daycare. I’ll give you, like, two-hundred— no, three-hundred bucks? That sound good?”

“Three…” She blinked, dumbfounded. “I can’t. Not that much.”

“It’s the least I can do. We live on the complete other side of Jackson.” She nodded slowly. “Really? If that’s a yes, then… I’ll be home most of the time, working, but you can knock if you need me.” She nodded again, mind drifting to being in your home, being able to knock on your bedroom door at any time… Show you how good she was with your daughter. Maybe, she thought, you’d finally realize you were interested in her, too. “Think you can start Monday—?“

“Yes!” She quickly cleared her throat, lowering her enthusiastic voice. “Yeah. I can start whenever.”

“Are you off yet?” You then asked, earning an eager nod. “Don’t get too excited. I was just going to ask if I could get you froyo, or something.”

Ellie laughed awkwardly, scratching the back of her neck. “That’d be nice. Thanks.”

“No sweat. You’ve been working in the sun all day. Hop in.” You walked around to your driver's side as Ellie got in the passengers, completely forgetting about her shirt still sitting in Dina’s living room as you began driving. 

She looked over at you, noticing you were sitting with one leg comfortably bent up on the door and your elbow leaning on it as you held your head up. She, on the other hand, sat cross legged with her arm resting on the window. 

“I promise I’m driving safely,” you reassured her with a laugh. “This is just more comfortable.”

“Oh…” She waved you off. “That’s how I drive, too.” You chuckled at that as she looked at the hand you didn’t have on the wheel, checking for a ring. “Hey, can I ask you something?” She spoke after a moment, gaining a hum of a response from you. “Are you married?”

You laughed. “Ellie, we’ve talked about your little crush on me before.” She groaned, face heating in embarrassment. It was true, you’d told her not to be so obvious about it, but she didn’t take that as an outright rejection. “I’m way too old for you.”

“How old are you?” She asked, earning a brow raise. “Just makin’ conversation…”

“Nearing 30.”

“Well, I’m nearing 25.”

“You just turned 20.”

“21 in October. Come on!” She quickly defended herself. “You’re, what? 26? 28?”

“Oh, Ellie,” you laughed, shaking your head at her. “When this little crush you have goes away, you’ll be happy I didn’t indulge you.” You then switched the conversation. “Aren’t you excited to get back to school? What do you study again?”

You talked the rest of the way to the frozen yogurt shop, eventually getting there and parking. It was right along the beach, and you told Ellie this was usually what you did with your little girl every Friday when she got out of daycare, so she was welcome to join you. 

You were giving her mixed signals, at least in her mind, but you told her the truth as you got Celeste into her stroller. 

“You know, I really should tell you, Cella asked if you could come with us today,” you said as you nodded to the girl, who woke up with a giant grin on her face after seeing Ellie. Ellie was only paying attention to the nickname you had for your daughter, finding it adorable and fawning over it in her head. “I know what you’re thinking, so if you want me to drive you home after—“

“No!” Your toddler immediately protested. “Ellie, come home with us. Show you my new house. It’s pink!”

“Oh,” you laughed. “You’re awake enough to argue, huh?” You crouched down to look at her, pinching her little cheek. “Does that mean you’re awake enough to walk by yourself?” She immediately shook her head, grabbing her small sippy cup attached to the side of the stroller and making sure she had no way to answer your questions by sucking on the little straw. You shook your head, standing as you laughed at her. 

For being three, and halfway to four as she always reminded you, she was pretty advanced for her age. Ellie simply saw that as you being a great mother, which only encouraged her crushing on you. 

“Kiddo, I don’t think your mommy will even invite me over if you argue with her,” Ellie told the girl, who reached her little hand up for Ellie to hold as you pushed the stroller, taking note of her habitual use of mommy, and chuckling to yourself. 

“Sorry, mama,” Celeste said around the straw of her cup. 

“It’s alright, babygirl—“

“So, Ellie can come over?” Ellie laughed, covering it with a cough when you raised a brow at her encouraging your toddler to try and manipulate you. 

“Ellie?” You looked at her. “Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“Stay forever!” Your girl cheered. 

“How about dinner first?” She said, looking down at Celeste. “I’d love to,” she then said to you. 

You couldn’t deny how good she was with your girl, watching as she convinced her to walk on her own. She’d told her: “mommy’s been working all day, and she loves pushing you, but she’s probably tired, don’t you think?” And despite you saying nearly the same thing earlier, she agreed with Ellie. That gave you the opportunity to take the stroller back to the car, so she didn’t decide to sit again, and grab a shirt for Ellie— who you still hadn’t corrected about calling you mommy when your toddler said mama. 

When you came back, Ellie was talking away with her, laughing at whatever nonsense joke she would tell and making you smile. 

“Here,” you handed her the shirt and she immediately went red, saying she forgot she’d even left hers at Dina’s. 

By the time you got home, it was later than anticipated, but your girl still insisted that Ellie stay and have dinner with you. 

“Maybe another night?” You suggested as you picked her up. “Mommy’s a little tired, bubba. I think bubba’s a lil’ tired too, no?”

“Nope. Wide awake!” 

“Alright,” you laughed as you brought her in, setting her in her gated play area. “Show Ellie your new house while mommy makes dinner, ‘kay?”

The amount of times Ellie had heard you call yourself mommy that day were making her head explode. Celeste didn’t even call you that, she’d realized. She called you Mama, so she was headed down a path of thinking you were doing it just to tease her. She knew she shouldn’t be thinking this way, but it was hard when all she could think about was— “Ellie! Look!” She was brought out of her thoughts when Celeste pointed to the new dollhouse she got. It was taller than she was, and lit up like a real house. 

Ellie scoffed in surprise. “Holy shit,” she muttered. 

“Shit!” The toddler repeated before cackling to herself as Ellie freaked out and told her not to say that. “Shit, shit, shit!” She laughed.

“Stop that!” Ellie was afraid you’d hear her. “Fuck,” she cursed under her breath, “stop it. Now.” She then went on to yell ‘fuck’ as many times as she wanted. 

“What on Earth is going on in here?” You asked as you stepped out of the kitchen. “Ellie?”

“I didn’t—“

“Ellie saying no no words!” 

“No!?”

You laughed. “Ellie, why don’t you come help me in the kitchen?” You looked to your girl. “And you.” You narrowed your eyes at her, making her giggle as you smiled. “Get dinner ready for your dolls. Show Ellie how you set it all up when she gets back.”

Ellie followed you into the kitchen, the door swinging shut behind her. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“You know, teaching my daughter how to swear definitely won’t get you anywhere with me.” Ellie cursed to herself internally, sulking. “But, I guess it’s a good thing she already knows those words, huh?”

“What?” 

“Her dad loves action movies. She comes home quoting them.” You shrugged. “He just lets her say whatever. I’ve resorted to having her not say it outside of the house or in front of guests.”

“Great dad,” Ellie muttered, making you chuckle as you knew she was only taking the side she assumed you were on because of her crush. 

“He actually is.” She immediately grew embarrassed, making you chuckle. You couldn’t deny how much fun you were having embarrassing her this way. She was awfully cute. Especially with the way she blushed so easily. “He’s the one that got her that dollhouse. A little present for making in through daycare since he knows how tired I’ve been. She used to hate daycare before you.” That brought a smile to Ellie’s face. “Thank you, for agreeing to babysit, by the way. I don’t know what I’d do if you didn't.”

“It’s nothing,” she said quickly, gaining a smile from you. “So… I take it that means you’re not married?” She asked after a moment as she washed her hands, ready to help with whatever you were making. 

“Mm, no. He’s my best friend. We had drunk sex at a stupid party and I got pregnant,” you laughed.

“Were you dating before, or…?”

“God no,” you laughed again. “I’d just broken up with the girlfriend I had since, like, freshman year of college, so he was trying to help me get drunk and find someone else… one idiotic thing led to another, and suddenly I’m six months pregnant, and I didn’t even know until I went to the doctor for a strep test.” Ellie snorted, the whole thing sounding like something out of a television show. “I know, I know. He’s gay too. That makes it even better.” Ellie laughed loudly at that, making a smile come to your face. 

The rest of the night was spent making dinner, and putting your little girl to bed as she’d fallen asleep before dinner just as you expected. You offered for Ellie to stay anyway, and she gladly did. 

“Okay,” she finally spoke, interrupting your conversation that’d gone through dinner and dessert; it being surprisingly easy to talk to her. “I have to ask— I know I’m probably being ridiculous, but, uh, I may just need you to shut me down.” You raised your brows, humming. She realized that may be a habit for you, but it was an excruciatingly attractive habit to have. “She, uh, she calls you ‘mama’—“

Almost immediately, you lowered your head, laughing. “I don’t have an answer for that, Ellie.” Her face reddened. “All honesty, I just found it a little funny.”

“You were teasing me!” She accused with a red face. You shrugged, looking up at her with a smile and flushed cheeks. She thought back on the day, all the times she’d called you ‘mommy’, all the times she’d done so while wearing your shirt, and felt a flutter in her stomach that made her cross her legs. “You’re awful.”

“You started it—! And besides, I thought I’d have a little fun… I mean, since my little girl wanted you to spend the day with us, I needed a way to enjoy myself too, no?” Your tone was mocking, making her adjust her seating at your near insulting words. “The bathroom’s just down there.” You pointed down the hall, past the stairs. 

“Stop it,” she said pointedly, making you chuckle as you stood and grabbed both your plates. 

“I’ll give you a ride home, alright? Or, is your car at Dina’s?” You asked as you came back to the dining room. 

“What about—?”

“Her dad’s a few blocks down. I’ll tell him.” You quickly texted him, getting a message back almost immediately. 

When he got there, you went to your car with Ellie, driving with the windows down and old rock music blasting through the car at her request. You both sang along, laughing the whole way there. 

You paused the music when you got there, stopping in front of the driveway and looking at Ellie. “I’ll see you Monday?”

She nodded. “I’ll, uh…” She played with the hem of your shirt on her. “I’ll give this back to you then.”

“No need.” You gave her a smile that made her cheeks heat as you leaned your arm on the console to look at her. “Night, Ellie.”

“Night…” She muttered in a daze, quickly snapping out of it and getting out of your car to go to hers. 

As she drove home, all she could think about was your teasing, all she could smell was your perfume on the shirt, and all she could feel was her stomach fluttering. 

When she got home, she went straight to her room. She left your shirt on, slipping her bra off from underneath and taking off her pants. She got into bed, holding your shirt up to her face and inhaling deeply. She quickly stopped herself. “Oh my fucking God, Ellie.” She dropped the shirt and brought her hands to her face in embarrassment, but now all she could feel was the fabric brushing against her nipples as her mind clouded with your voice; calling yourself mommy as you looked her in the eyes. Goosebumps rose on her skin as she shook her head at herself, attempting to shake away her thoughts of you and your awfully mean teasing. She grabbed her pillow, shoving her face into it as she went red. “Get a hold of yourself.”

#ellie williams x you #ellie tlou #ellie williams fluff #ellie williams #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #the last of us ellie #tlou ellie #ellie x fem reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams drabble #ellie williams headcanons #ellie williams hcs #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams blurb #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams ff

[pawnshopbleus]

Miller's Girl

Chapter Two - Professor Miller

Professor!Joel Miller x Fem!College Student!Reader Very Loosely based off of the new movie, Miller's Girl, starring Jenna Ortega and Martin Freeman

Summary - Your landlord decides to raise the rent in your studio apartment the day you are fired from your job. In need of money, you sign up for a babysitting service your friend suggested. You didn’t expect to get an offer so quickly, and you also didn’t expect to come from your professor.

Series contains - cursing, mature language, teacher x student relationship, age gap, smut, fluff, angst, non beta read chapters and everything else I forgot to mention

Authors Note - Sorry for the late update. My mom took my computer away and I physically cannot write on my phone.

College, no outbreak, and modern AU

Joel had been looking for a new babysitter ever since the last one had left. She was an older lady who had lost her husband in the Vietnam War. Joel respected her until she quit unexpectedly the Saturday evening before Joel had a big dinner with the president of the university. He had to beg Tommy and Maria to watch Sarah for the night.

You were the first person that caught his eye on the website. Your experience was subpar and your bio was brief but it contained just enough detail to get him interested. When he scrolled to see what else you did outside of babysitting, his smile fell from his face. You were a student and not just any student. You were a student at the university he taught at. He didn’t want to risk his employment for a simple babysitter so he kept scrolling. Each profile after yours looked plain and simple, something he didn’t like. No one seemed qualified enough to take care of his beloved Sarah except you.

His email to you was like your bio, brief but it contained just enough detail. He signed his name at the bottom and prayed that his position didn’t scare you away. He needed you to agree to this. You were perfect for the job. You were young and could connect with Sarah more than the last babysitter did. Judging from your bio, you were also smart. You seemed like a great role model for Sarah.

Your response came an hour later. Joel chewed on his bottom lip in anticipation of what the email would say. He let out a sigh of relief when you agreed to become Sarah’s babysitter.

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

One word that you would use to describe yourself would be unlucky. You were sure that whoever worked high up in the sky had it out for you.

Your counselor called you into his office early Saturday morning to discuss your future after college. You told him that you hoped to become an interior designer once you graduate. He then asked why you didn’t major in interior design instead of architecture. You then told him that he should have asked you this when you were a freshman. You could tell that your counselor wanted to roll his eyes but he kept his composure. He clicked and scrolled away on his computer while you sat there in silence.

“You’re ten credits under the required amount to graduate,” your counselor said.

“What?” The scream you let out contrasted the monotone voice your counselor spoke in.

Your counselor let out a breath through his nose. “Look, you can either graduate next year or you can take another required class for your major.”

“But I thought that I completed all the required classes for my major? It’s the middle of the first semester and I’m pretty sure all the classes are full.”

“There’s one class open with two seats left. I can put you in that class and you’ll start on Monday. You’ll have to catch up on work but i’m pretty sure you’ll be fine.” Your counselor looks you up and down and continues, “You don’t seem like the type to get out much.”

Your left eye twitched at the comment. It was true, but he had no right to say that. You could report him to his superiors but that would be too much paperwork.

“Who teaches the class?” you asked. You hoped that at least the teacher was nice. Maybe they would be a little bit nicer than the asshole in charge of your future at this school.

“Professor Miller.”

└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘

Mondays were never Joel’s favorite time of the week. Sarah had soccer on Mondays and Fridays which meant that he had to get up extra early to pack her bags. The last time she packed her own bag, she forgot her ball and her cleats. When the babysitter starts everything will be a lot easier for him.

A new student has just been added to his roster. Never in his twenty-five years of teaching has a student been added to his class in the middle of the semester. Just another paper to read and another packet of homework to grade. This is exactly what he needed! It’s not like he didn’t have a twelve-year-old daughter to raise all by himself.

The campus is stunningly beautiful in the mornings. The sun shines on the trees and grass, illuminating the green blades and leaves. The school spends a lot of money on its campus. They pride themselves on having one of the prettiest campuses in all of Texas.

Joel’s lecture room isn’t too far from where he parked. It’s nice outside. The October breeze sweeps his hair back and he has to smooth it down with his hands. The brown messenger bag slung around his shoulders dangles and hits against his outer thigh as he walks. Contrary to popular belief, Joel isn’t mean or rude. He’s just a simple man who prefers to have a little privacy once in a while. He is also tough on his students because he wants them to succeed. Professors who are “easy” get on his nerves. They crave the respect of their students rather than earning it. Joel has worked too damn long and hard to care about what his students think about him.

His lecture room is cold. Not the usual sixty degrees he likes to keep it at, but more like a chilly forty degrees. He can see his breath flow out in front of him like a ghost. He knows that his students hate being in a cold classroom, but none of them are brave enough to tell him what to do.

Students start pouring in and sitting in their usual seats. They can immediately tell the temperature difference. They hug their arms closer and rock their bodies, trying to preserve warmth.

The small hand of the clock hovers over the number nine and Joel walks over to the door getting ready to lock it. Just as his hand hovers over the knob, the door is thrown open and Joel stumbles back.

You enter the classroom, eyes wide. You look around at the vast array of students already sitting down in their seats. They all look at you with a look of horror. You don’t understand why they are looking at you like that until you turn around.

Professor Miller is standing at his full height, his arms are crossed, and he looks like he’s about to explode with anger. Then, he sees your face and realizes who you are. He must have recognized you from the website because his shoulders relax and he nods his head to the sea of students, prompting you to sit down.

The only seat open is in the back of the room. You walk through the sea of students all looking at you. Some look at you with a look of sympathy while others look at you with disgust.

You make yourself as small as possible when you reach your seat. Once you reach inside your bag, you realize that you have forgotten your laptop on your bed. No wonder your bag felt lighter today than it usually does.

You pull a pen and paper out of your bag and begin scribbling as much information as you can. Your usual neat handwriting looks more like chicken scratch as you try and copy down information thrown at you by Professor Miller. It would have been a lot easier if he talked a little slower.

Two hours have flown by and students practically skip out of the class, happy to escape the cold. Thanks to your seat being in the back, you were one of the last people to get to the door. Before you can exit, Professor Miller stands in front of you, his arms crossed once again.

“This was strike number one,” he said. You gulped and opened your mouth to explain yourself, but he put his hand up. Your mouth closed shut and you nodded your head.

The rest of the day, you walked with your head held low. It wasn’t until you got back to your apartment that you finally felt better. Being home meant that there wouldn’t be anyone there to judge you or give you dirty looks.

You flopped onto your bed. Bill went up in the air and fell back down onto the bed. Bill could sense your distress, so he curled up next you and the two of you fell asleep.

#joel miller fic #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller

[oliveisme533]

My dad’s neighbor is a dilf

Chapter 4

Joel Miller x You

Summery: You had decided to spend your summer in Austin with your dad. You used to spend almost every summer there, but hadn't spent a summer there since you were a teenager. Which means you hadn't seen a certain Joel Miller in years..

Warnings: abusive ex is back. Verbal abuse and physical violence (not against reader)

You roll over in your bed with a groan and stretch your arms. Grabbing your phone you check the time 10:03. Early for you. You decide to hop in the shower before your dad can ask you to help pick up fallen branches in the yard from last nights storm. You let the scolding water hit your body and you draw in a deep breath. Tomorrow was Monday which meant your dad would be back to work and you wouldn't have anyone to talk to or hang out with until 5 o'clock. Rinsing the soap from your face you contemplated just what to do with tomorrow, in fact you were beginning to wonder how to make use of your summer in general. The last couple weeks of doing nothing had been a much needed reprieve from your busy life, but you were starting to get a little stir crazy. You turned off the water, still deep in thought when you heard your phone buzzing. You tiptoed over to your bedside table and saw Joel's name lighting up the screen. "Why is he calling me?" You pick up the phone ...

Hello Hey sweetheart didn't wake ya did I? No no I've been up...for a few minutes (Joel chuckled) Well hey listen, one of my coworkers was looking for a sitter for tonight. He and the Misses are going out and their regular girl can't make it. Any interest in an easy job for the night? Oh yeah I can definitely do that. God know I've got nothing else going on. Okay I'll send you the info! Thanks darlin'

Obviously he wasn't calling just because he wanted to chat with you. It was a stupid thing to even hope for. The rest of the day went by relatively slowly, but when 6 o'clock rolled around you put some snacks in your back pack, a phone charger, and a book you had been trying to finish for several weeks now. The babysitting was easy. It was one kid, she was four years old and for the most part did whatever you asked. The parents told you they would be out late so when 11:45 rolled around you weren't surprised they hadn't come home yet. The house was quiet...too quiet. You never much liked this part of being a baby sitter. It was different when you did it for Sarah. The millers house was always warm and full of life. Those nights when Joel did get home a little later you felt safe curling up in on his couch with the TV on. Most of the times you would fall asleep like that and Joel would drive you home the next day after making you and Sarah breakfast. You smile at the memory. The sounds of the house settling are enough to snap you from this daydream down memory lane. "Fuck I really don't like this huge, quiet house. What if I call someone to keep me company. Dad will be asleep, so would mom and my sister. I bet Joel Miller is awake..." you stare at your phone and contemplate this next move. "Fuck it" you mutter and tape his name. The phone only rings a couple of times before you hear Joel's husky voice. A twinge of guilt shoots through you as you fear you've woken him up.

Hello? Everything okay? Hey, yeah I'm so sorry did I wake you? I was just restin' my eyes that's all. I ain't in bed yet. Well I just- I really don't like being in these houses all by myself. It sounds stupid but it's kinda scary I guess. 'S not stupid. You want someone to talk to-keep ya company? Yeah... and I figured you'd be awake still, but I guess I figured wrong You're all right honey, I really don't mind. I needed to get off this couch and sleep in my bed any how. But how 'bout you tell me about your day? My day was pretty boring honestly. I played with the cat, ate some ice cream and watched TV Wat'd ya watch? Love island What in the hell is that?

You laughed and proceeded to tell him all about the show. A little while passed and then you heard the lock click and knew the parents were home. You told Joel you had to go to which he responded "alright let me know when you get home safe. Can call me if you want." Back home you pondered whether or not you should call Joel. It was late and you were feeling tired, but you wanted to talk to him. After slipping into your pajamas you felt like you could hardly stay awake much longer, but you were determined to take advantage of this invitation from Joel to call him. So you tapped his name and watched the phone ring. You put it to your ear and your heart sank with each unanswered ring. When it went to voicemail you resolved that he had likely fallen asleep and you decided to do the same.

The next day you woke up early (ish) at 9:00. Your dad had already left for work. You roll over in your bed to check your phone and your heart pounds.

Missed call from Joel Miller 36m ago

You're hoping he's not at work yet and call him back quickly. "Hey sweetheart" he picks up within a few rings. "Sorry I missed your call last night. I ended up falling asleep and didn't hear the phone." It was so nice to hear his voice first thing in the morning. "Oh you don't need to apologize. I didn't really need anything, I just like talking to you" you could almost hear Joel grin as he said "well I like talkin' to you too sugar" you had walked down to your kitchen to put on a pot of coffee at this point when you say "hey why aren't you at work?" "Waitin for some parts to come in for this current job. Until they do there's nothin else I can really do. But the parts are supposed to be here by noon... so I'll get my ass to work in a couple hours" you notice a note taped to the fridge as Joel finishes saying all this. "I completely forget" you mutter to yourself, but apparently Joel hears. "What'd you forget?" "My dad left me a note reminding me that he's gone on a business trip and won't be back until Thursday." "Oh that's right. Your dad did mention that. Told me to keep an eye out for ya." "Did he really? "Yeah I mean you're going to be by yourself in that big house for almost 3 days" "I'm a grown ass woman though!" Joel chuckled. "No ones sayin you ain't, darlin. Dads worry and that don't change from when you're 5 or when you're 25" "I guess that's fair enough" you shrug. "I should get my day started here... might go on a run and catch up on laundry" "Well if you need anything the next couple of days just hollar" You hang up the phone with brief goodbyes and run your fingers through your tangled bed head. You groan as you massage your temple. "What the fuck am I doing?? I'm catching feelings for Joel fucking Miller. What's worse is that I'm flirting with him too"

Against your better judgement you decide to text Joel later in the day Hey what time you get off tonight? I should be wrapping up by 7...Why? You want to swing by for dinner? Nothing fancy. I'm just bored and I don't love being here alone in the evenings for long periods of time lol. Well I ain't gonna turn you down for some dinner. I'll see you at 7:30. Can I pick anything up at the store for ya on my way there? Well if you're offering... maybe some ice cream? And a bottle of rosè You got it

The rest of the day went by slowly. 7:30 couldn't get here fast enough. You were hoping for something to happen tonight with Joel, but you weren't sure what that would be. You hadn't decided if the lingering glances from him were just something you were imagining or actually happening. Around 6:30 you decide to hope in the shower and of course shave...because you never know right? After your shower you settle on wearing a simple, linen dress that's super comfortable and not all that fancy.  At exactly 7:30 you hear the doorbell ring. You jump off the sofa to answer it, your heart in your throat. But when you open the door, you're afraid you might be sick. It's not Joel Miller who stands there, but your toxic ex boyfriend ...Ben.

"What the fuck are you doing? You need to leave" Ben smirks. "Aren't you a delight. I just wanted to talk to you, and since you've block my number I had to take matters into my hands." Your heart was racing. Ben had never shown any physical violence against you, but you didn't know what he was capable and you didn't want to find out. "I thought I made myself really fucking clear that we are over" you said with a shaky voice. "Baby I just don't think you get to make that call. I mean I've done so much to make this relationship work. You can't just throw all that away. You know you're never going to find another guy who puts up with your shit." That was it. Something in you snapped. Something that had been brewing for literally years was about to come out. "No fuck you!" You shoved him in the chest with both palms and he stumbled back just a step, caught off guard by your motion. "Screw you! I don't need a guy to put up with anything about me, you asshole. You act like you're some fucking hero for tolerating the fact that I struggle with my mental health and stuff!" Ben was fuming now. You had never laid hands on him and you could tell the shove had lit something inside him too. "You have issues you know that?! You have fucking issues in your head!" He screamed at you getting up in your face and grabbing your arms tightly, pinning them to your sides. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Joel's truck coming down the street and pulling into your drive way. Ben was now shaking you and yelling "YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH.." he didn't get to finish his sentence because a firm hand grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him backwards.

If looks could kill...you had never seen such an expression on Joel. He looked like he could tear Ben to pieces right then and there, yet he maintained a calm composure. "I suggest you get the fuck off this porch and don't come back, son" Joel said in a low voice. Ben scoffed. "Get out of here, old man. This ain't your business" Ben spat. "Son, we can do this the easy way or the hard way." Ben let his head fall back and let out a chuckle that sent a chill down your spine. "Is that so?" Without warning Ben threw a punch and Joel and narrowly missed "Ben!" You shrieked. Ben straightened up sent another punch. Joel grabbed his wrist, mid punch and yanked him in close. Joel towered over him. "Do not make me repeat myself again. I said get the fuck off this porch, or things will get ugly." At this Joel shoved Ben forcefully away, causing him to stumble backwards. Ben still looked angry, but now there was a hint of fear in his eyes too. He gave you one last glare and then jogged back to his car.

As soon as Ben's car sped off. Joel sun around. "Are you okay??" He asked, grabbing your face in his hands. "Um yeah" you managed to squeak. "I mean that fucking scared me tho." Joel looked like he might be sick. "I am so sorry wasn't here at 7:30. If I got here on time- " "Joel come on you don't need to do that. It's not like either of us had any idea Ben would show up here. I'm glad you came when you did though." Joel massaged the bridge of his nose. He looked stressed and was probably imaging what would have happened if he didn't show up at all. He shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut as if trying to rid himself of the notion. "Joel look at me I'm fine!" You said pulling his hand away from his face. Joel took your hand in his and stroked it with his thumb. "Okay" he said softly. "Did you get my ice cream?" You said trying to change the subject. A smile tugged at his mouth. "Yeah I did, baby"

You had made spaghetti for dinner, about one of the only dishes you were confident in preparing. You and Joel sat at the table in silence and you watched as he pushed his food around. "I'm sorry I'm not a chef...if you want we could just order a pizza?" You suggested. Joel looked up at you seemingly caught off guard. "No no no it's not that! The meal is delicious. I guess I just don't have an appetite. That's all." You pushed back from the table and the chair scraping against the hardwood made Joel jump slightly. "Baby I didn't mean to offend you it's just" you laughed as you reached for the shelf above the stove "Joel I'm not mad I'm just looking for something." Joel slowly walked towards where you were balancing on a stool trying to get the top door of the cabinet open. "Um...what's that?" You grunted as you finally got hold of what it was you were looking for. "My dad's red wine. It's gross too me, but he always says red wine gives you an appetite." You hopped off the stool and thrust the bottle into his chest. "Where's the wine you got me? I would like to get into that like asap." Before waiting for a response you went into the other room where the grocery bag still sat with the ice cream and wine and dug out the bottle. You hastily removed the top and began drinking. "Y/n...slow down what are you doing?" You removed the bottle from your lips and wiped your mouth. "What does it look like I'm doing?" Joel's face was laced with concern. "Okay that's enough. I'm calling your dad, you can stay at mine until he gets home. I'm sure he'll book the first flight back when he hears.." you didn't let Joel finish. He had tried to grab the bottle from your hands "no, fuck off I'm a grown woman. I don't need you calling me dad to tell on me or whatever." Joel placed both hands in his hair and squeezed his head "sweetheart you're clearly not okay! And for good reason... will you just let me help you? I'm worried about you. This shit wasn't in any of the parenting books I read before Sarah.." "you're not my dad!" "No no I'm not saying that I just" ... "is that all this is? You want to fill the void of not having your daughter at home this summer. So you come over here to parent me because my dad's not here? I don't fucking need that Joel I don't want you to see me that way."

...to be continued

#joel miller #joel tlou #fanfic #joel and ellie #smut #girl dad #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #joel miller smut

[bellaireland1981]

Starting Over | 5

Summary: You come home to work to find your husband of three years in bed with your supposed best friend. It’s the wake up call you finally needed to take your two year old daughter and get the hell out of Texas. With nowhere to go you head to your big brother in San Diego. The sagger squad takes you under their wings, and shows you what having a family means. You get a fresh start… will you find your happily ever after?

Characters: Jake “hangman” Seresin x Sister! Reader, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw x Seresin! Reader (Eventually), Hangman x Phoenix (eventually) , Adorable OC Gracie!   The Dagger squad

Word Count: 11.1k -- not even sorry lol. Giving you more for being patient!

Warnings: Angst, cheating husband, emotional abuse, eventual fluff, smut in later chapters, Sweet uncle Jake, Adorable Rooster with a toddler… if I miss any please let me know.

A/N: I don’t own the characters or storyline for Top Gun Maverick. All OC’s are mine. I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR ANYONE TO COPY OR REPOST MY WORK TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM! DON’T STEAL! Reblogs, likes and comments ALWAYS welcomed. THANK YOU @waywardodysseys​ and  @beyondthesefourwalls​ as always for reading over my work and helping me flush out ideas!!

Taglist is open! If I missed anyone who asked to be tagged, please fill out this GOOGLE FORM  to be added. It’s getting to hard to keep track of asks.

CH 1  CH 2  CH 3  Ch 4

True to his word, the following Monday, Bradley was on your doorstep bright and early ready for babysitting duty. Jake was getting Gracie breakfast while you finished getting ready for court. You were meeting your lawyer a half hour before you were due in court to go over everything. She wanted to discuss correspondence she’d received from Trent’s lawyer before going into the hearing.

“It’s open!” Jake yelled when Bradley rang the doorbell.

Bradley came through the front door as you were walking out to the living room. You picked out a green sheath dress with a navy blue fitted ¾ length sleeve jacket and navy pumps. You pulled your hair back into a low messy bun with tendrils hanging around your face. You’d kept the makeup to a minimum, not wanting to have to worry about any running in the event you cried.

“You look really pretty, Y/N.” Bradley said, offering you a sweet smile, “You feeling ok for today?”

“Thank you,” You smiled back. “I’m nervous… like…REALLY… nervous.”

“You’ve got nothing to worry about, Sweetheart.” He said, “It’s going to go your way. No judge would rule in favor of that douche.”  

“I just want the whole thing over and to be free, but I have a bad feeling it’s going to drag out.” You said. “I can’t thank you enough though for taking off work to stay with Gracie. It means so much to me.”

“It’ll be over soon, and all in your past.” He said, “You don’t have to thank me, Sweetheart. I get to spend the day with a Princess. That’s better than work.”

“Even when work involves flying F-18s at stupid speeds?” You challenged, smiling.

“Even then.” He confirmed, not missing a beat.

“Hey Rooster.” Jake said, poking his head out from the kitchen. “I made extra if you’re hungry. Gracie is finishing up her waffles now. I just have to change shirts quickly… in hindsight, I should have known better than to get dressed before serving waffles and syrup to a toddler.”

“Rookie move, Bubs.” You laughed, “We’ve got a little time though so go ahead and change, I’ll hold down the fort here.”

“Then you’ll get sticky from the syrup.” Jake pointed out.

“I’ll handle the syrup situation.” Bradley said, walking into the kitchen, “Go change. It’s my turn with Princess Gracie.”

“WOOSTA!” She exclaimed, holding up very sticky fingers and making grabby hands towards Bradley. “We pway?”

“Good Morning, Baby Girl.” He beamed at Gracie, “Are you all done eating? Or are you still hungry?”

“All done!” She said, “Up pwease!”

“Let me wipe the stickiness from your fingers and face then we’ll play ok?” He compromised, wetting a cloth under the kitchen faucet, before picking her up.

“Otay!” She agreed.

“I laid out some play clothes for her on her bed and the diaper bag is packed if you wanted to go anywhere, the keys to my car are hanging up on the hook by the door.” You said, “You can move the car seat over to your Bronco if you’d rather drive that.”

“We’ll be just fine.” He promised, “Princess Gracie and I are going to have lots of fun today.”

“Thank you again, Bradley.” You said, smiling, “It really means a lot to me.”

“Sweetheart, please stop thanking me.” He laughed, “I will never turn down a playdate with this sweet girl.”

“See, Rooster,” Jake teased, coming in with a clean shirt on and tucked in. “Your dating life is picking up after all.”

“Jakey, be nice!” You admonished your big brother. “Your tie is crooked too, come here.”

“He’s not wrong.” Bradley laughed good naturedly, “My dating life is nonexistent… but I have a feeling hanging out with Gracie is better than any date I’ve been on recently.”

“Well mine is and will remain nonexistent for the foreseeable future.” You said, tying Jake’s tie so it was straight. “There, all better.”

“Thanks Tulip.” He said, flashing you a soft smile, “Let’s go get this first step to your freedom taken care of. Gotta get you back up on that horse.”

“I don’t think that’s the right analogy here, Jakey.” You said, rolling your eyes.

“I think it’s absolutely the right analogy, Sweetheart.” Bradley winked.

“I love you, Gracie Girl.” You said, leaning in to kiss your daughter, “Be good for Bradley. Mommy will see you this afternoon when we get back.”

“Wuv you Mommy!” Gracie said smiling, perfectly content to have time with her ‘Woosta’.  

You and Jake arrived at the courthouse and were greeted by your lawyer.

“Thank you for meeting me before we go in.” She said, “I have a small meeting room booked, we can go in and go over what we have so far.”

“Thank you.” You replied, following her to the room. Once inside, you remembered to introduce her to Jake. “This is my brother Jake.”

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Lauren Kennedy.” She replied, shaking Jake’s hand.

“Nice to meet you too, Ma’am.” Jake smiled, “Thank you for all you’re doing for my sister.”

“I am absolutely happy to help.” She replied, “Especially after some interactions I’ve had with Trent and his lawyer… I’m even happier to help.”

“Is this going to be drawn out?” You asked, your shoulders tensing with the prospect of being stuck longer in this situation. “I don’t even care if I walk away with absolutely nothing. I just need to be free.”

“Not necessarily.” She said, offering a soft smile, “As we discussed last week, he did contest the divorce and also the same day countersued for custody. This, in itself is a contradiction and I would argue shows it’s all a power move on his part. I’ve had several conversations with the attorney that he has hired as well as a few rambling emails and voicemails from Trent himself since that initial contact.”

“He’s already admitted he never wanted Gracie and has since said so on voicemail.” Jake seethed, “That piece of shit doesn’t deserve Gracie. He’s never been involved in her life even when she was living under the same roof.”

“That admission will certainly help strengthen our already very strong case.” Lauren assured us. “If the judge grants the order of protection today, we will certainly use that to accelerate both the divorce and the custody case. I honestly don’t see this dragging out indefinitely, so please don’t get discouraged. Trent doesn’t strike me as someone with the means to keep this tied up in court. He is your typical playground bully. We push back hard enough, he’ll give up in favor of finding an easier target.”

“What if he comes out here and tries to take Gracie?” You asked, the fear suddenly choking you, “He can’t take my baby.”

“He’ll have to go through me.” Jake said, rubbing your back comfortingly, “It’ll be a cold day in hell before my Princess G ends up in his hands.”

“Hopefully today will help prevent that.” Lauren said, encouragingly, “Y/N, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to get you freed from this man in every way. Whether he contests the divorce or not, there are safeguards in place with the laws and we will use them. Him agreeing just makes it happen faster. In all of my years practicing family law, I have never seen a judge side with a parent showing so many red flags as Trent does, especially when the other parent is stable and established as the child’ sole caregiver. I need you to remember that the only questionable variable in this situation is the amount of time it takes to get it through. You will be divorced from this man, you will reclaim your life, Sweetie. I promise you that.”

“Thank you.” You replied, quietly. “I really do appreciate all you’re doing for me.”

“It’s absolutely my pleasure.” She smiled, “Let’s head on into the courtroom and get situated.”

“He isn’t here right?” You asked, suddenly scared to enter the courtroom. “Or his lawyer?”

“His attorney may be in attendance” She replied, “I would be surprised, being he is based out of Texas. If Trent is present, due to it being an order of protection hearing, we will do everything we can to maintain as much distance as possible. In the event he’s here and the order is approved, a deputy would escort you out of the courthouse ahead or behind Trent, upholding the distance ordered and to prevent illegal contact.”

“And I will be here with you every single step of the way, Tulip.” Jake promised, “I will never let him hurt you in any way ever again.”

In the end, Tent, thankfully, had not shown up. His lawyer Zoomed into the hearing on his behalf. After looking at all of the texts, reviewing the voicemails, and listening to your account of your marriage, the judge ordered a no contact order. All communication now had to officially go through lawyers. Trent was not allowed to text or call you and was not allowed within 500 feet of you. The order was temporary, but would hopefully be enough to allow you to get the divorce you needed and to start your life over. Your attorney said the order would help with the custody and divorce hearings. Trent’s lawyer had objected and insisted all of the evidence was a result of emotional distress you’d caused by leaving and taking your daughter out of state. You were thankful the judge hadn’t seen it that way.

“What are the next steps?” Jake asked, as you all left the courtroom. Even just this small victory took a load off of your shoulders. At least now he could be held in contempt of court if he contacted you or showed up on your doorstep.  “Can you file anything that legally separates them so she can start to rebuild her life while waiting on the divorce to go through?”

“Legally, they are already separated.” Lauren explained, “The moment we filed the intent to dissolve the marriage, they were legally separated. The next steps are getting a court date for the divorce and custody of Gracie. Since he’s contesting, it will need to go before a judge. The judge would normally order mediation to work out the divorce agreement but since Y/N only wants custody and nothing from the marital home or any monetary compensation, and in light of the no contact order in place as of today, the judge will be more inclined to waive the mediator and grant the divorce. Custody could be done the same day if we can get Trent to agree to vanquish his parental rights or to simply agree to you having full custody, Y/N.”

“So, the divorce is just a formality at this point, she’s already free of that piece of shit?” Jake clarified.

“The marriage is essentially on ‘hold’ until the divorce is finalized. Legally speaking though, yes, Y/N you are free to move on, Sweetie.” She replied. She smiled warmly, winking at you. “That includes dating.”

“I don’t think I’m quite ready for that yet.” You replied, offering a small smile, “I just want to focus on being a good mom to Gracie.”

“Tulip, you’ve already nailed that.” Jake assured you, “You’re the best mom and Princess G is so lucky to have you as her mommy.”

“I love you, Jakey.” You said, hugging him.

“Love you too, Tulip.” He replied, hugging you back.

“Alright, I will continue to keep you posted” Lauden said, “I’ll be calling Trent’s lawyer again today to encourage his client to settle now and agree to dissolve the marriage rather than drag it out. If his lawyer is competent, he’ll know this is a losing battle on their end. It’s to their advantage to settle and not let the judge set the terms.”

“Thank you. For everything.” You said.

“You’re very welcome.” She replied, “Keep your chin up, this will be over and just a bad memory in no time at all.”

After leaving the courthouse, Jake decided to treat you to lunch before heading home. He took you to one of his favorite Mexican restaurants, knowing you’d love it too.

As you sat eating your lunch you could tell Jake was thinking about something. “I can see the wheels turning in your head, Bubs.” You laughed, “What’s on your mind?”

“Just thinking about what your lawyer said.” Jake said.

“Which part?” You asked, “She said a lot today.”

“About being free to start over.” He replied slowly, “Dating and all that.”

“No need to go into overprotective brother mode, Jakey.” You smiled, “I meant it when I said I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t really trust my own judgment anyway.”

“Do you trust mine?” He asked.

“Of course I do, Jakey.” You replied, “What’s going on in that head though?”

“OK, hear me out.” He said. “If someone were interested in dating you and you were interested in them… would you trust my judgment on whether they were a good fit or not?”

“Yes.” You replied, confused where this was coming from, waiting on him to elaborate.

“Ok.” He smiled, relaxing. “So what do you think you want to do first, now that you’re well on your way to freedom?”

“A job.” You replied, shaking your head at your brother. Sometimes he was so hard to get a read on. “Penny offered me a part time job. If she’s still serious about it, I want to accept. I just need to find daycare.”’

“I can help with that!” He assured you, “I think getting out of the house and being around adults will be good for you.”

“Jake you can’t take Gracie to base” You laughed, “She can’t be your WSO at 2 years old.”

“I know that.” He said, playfully rolling his eyes, “I can look into daycare on base though, or at least ask around for recommendations. Being around other kiddos will be good for her too.”

After lunch you headed home to relieve Bradley of babysitting duties. Jake hung the keys to the truck on the hook by the door when you walked in, immediately reaching up to loosen and untie the tie he wore to court.

“Hey…how did it go?” Bradley asked cautiously.

“It went well!” Jake replied, “That piece of trash can’t contact Tulip anymore!”

“That’s fantastic, Y/N!” Bradley said, flashing a bright smile at you, “How are you feeling?”

“So much relief.” You replied, smiling back at him, “My lawyer also said that this will help us in the custody and divorce proceedings.”

“Even better.” He said, “This calls for a celebration! How about drinks at the Hard Deck tomorrow night?”

“I don’t have a babysitter for Gracie.” You replied, “But you all can go and celebrate for me!”

“Tulip, we can’t celebrate without you when you’re the reason for the celebration.” Jake laughed, “We will find a sitter for Gracie and we will go for a bit.”

“Ok.” You agreed. “Going out does sound fun. It’s been awhile. I’m going to go change and start getting stuff put together for dinner. Bradley, you’re joining us… if you don’t have plans. It’s the least I can do for you taking a day off to stay with Gracie.”

“I will happily accept dinner.” He replied, “But it’s because you’re cooking is amazing and too good to say no to, not because you owe me anything for spending time with that sweet Princess. She was good as gold and we had fun.”

“Well, thank you all the same.” You said, kissing his cheek before heading to the bedroom to change.

***** Jake’s POV *****

“Thanks, Rooster.” Jake said, removing his tie completely now and slumping down on the couch. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done for Y/N and Gracie.”

“Look, I know we definitely started off on the wrong foot but, like we keep reminding Y/N…this is a family.” Bradley said, “For me, it’s the only one I’ve got. So there really isn’t much I wouldn’t do for you, Jake. And let’s be real, 5 minutes in her presence and Gracie had me wound tightly around her adorable, chubby little finger.”

“She has a way of doing that.” Jake laughed, “She’s had me hooked since she drew her first breaths.”

“Y/N is the same way.” Bradley said, treading carefully, unsure how Jake would react to knowing he was falling hard for his sister.

“She’ll kill me for this…” Jake said, sitting up and turning to face Bradley, “Here’s the thing. She’s kinda fragile at the moment and very unsure of herself…actually said she doesn’t trust her own judgment when it comes to guys and dating now… but she does trust me. And I trust YOU. I know you’ve got a thing for Y/N. I’ve seen the way you look at her. I’ve also seen the way she looks at you when she thinks nobody is looking. What’s more… I’ve seen how much you care about Gracie.  Those girls are the most important people in my life, Bradley. They’re the only actual family I’ve got. I just need you to know…to really know… what you’re getting into. If you’re not playing the long game here where my sister and niece get their fairytale ending… I’m asking you to bow out now. I failed her once in my role as her big brother and protector. I can’t fail her again.”

“Jake, I genuinely already care deeply about them both.” Bradley admitted. “I would never do anything to intentionally or knowingly hurt either of them. I’d rather burn in than do that. Just to be clear though, because I’m not trying to get my face rearranged at any point… are you saying that you’re actually OK with the fact that I’m falling for your sister?”

“You’re probably the only guy I WOULD trust with her heart.” Jake shrugged, smiling, “And now that you’ve confirmed you do in fact have feelings for her…what do you plan to do about it?”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Bradley admitted, “And this isn’t me ‘being safe on a perch’. I just don’t wanna screw this up or spook her.”

“I appreciate that.” Jake replied, “Me giving you shit in the air about playing it safe doesn’t mean I can’t see the value in being cautious and taking things slow when it matters. Just… not too slow. The lawyer even said she can get started building her life and even mentioned dating. She’s legally separated if that’s what is holding you back.”

“I don’t know that the military cares about legal separations, man…” Bradley said, “Pretty sure it’s still against the code… but… I don’t think it’s against the code to spend time with a friend and her adorable little girl. Especially when I am in fact, playing the long game.”

“Good to know.” Jake said, “On that note. I’m going to change quickly. Are you hanging around for dinner?”

“Yeah, there’s no way I’m passing up more time with those two…and a home cooked meal.” Bradley replied, smirking, “And I guess you’re alright to hang out with too.”

“Asshole.” Jake laughed, getting up and heading upstairs to change. Bradley laughed at his retreat.

*** Your POV ***

After changing into a pair of cutoff jean shorts and a Texas Longhorns t-shirt, you made your way out of your room. Before heading to the kitchen to start meal prepping you peeked into Gracie’s room to check on her quickly, smiling at the sight of her curled up sleeping soundly.

“You must have worn her out this morning.” You said, smiling at Bradley who was still seated on the couch. “She’s out like a light still.”

“We played pretty hard.” Bradley said, “Lots of chasing, flying, tea parties, and even went for a walk around the block.”

“Flying, huh?” You asked, laughing. “Starting her young?”

“Yup!” He replied, “Gotta get her used to those G’s. That little princess is fearless though. She loves to be tossed up in the air and completely trusts that you’ll catch her.”

“Believe it or not, she’s only been as outgoing as she is since coming here.” You said, “Back home she was always painfully shy and quiet. I only got to see this version of her when it was just the two of us.”

“Seriously?” He asked, shocked. Gracie had taken to him instantly and he’d never experienced the shy girl being described. “I can’t even picture that… she’s so full of life, full speed ahead.”

“Well it helps that it was love at first sight with you.” You smiled warmly, “She claimed you from the start.”

“The feeling is quite mutual.” He replied, holding your gaze. “Her mom is working her way in too.”

You felt butterflies erupt in your belly, your heart rate picked up and you could feel heat spreading over your body. You weren’t really sure how to respond. You definitely liked the man, but was it really fair to him to be saddled with a complicated mess like yourself?

“I can see the wheels turning, Sweetheart.” he said gently, offering a warm smile that reached his eyes. “No pressure. I know you’ve got a lot going on right now. All the cards on the table though, I really like you… a lot. You know I’m crazy about Gracie. If or whenever you’re ready, if you’re interested, I want you to know that so am I.”

“I like you too…” You admitted quietly, “More than I should considering the circumstances. It’s just… Bradley, I’m a mess. You deserve so much more than someone who doesn’t have their shit together. Hell, I don’t even have a job. I’m literally mooching off of my brother right now.”

“Hey.” He said, taking your hands and turning you so that you’re facing him. “First of all, I’d be willing to bet a paycheck that if Jake heard you talk like that he’d blow a gasket. Secondly, Sweetheart you’re not a mess. You were stuck in a shitty marriage with a piece of shit that doesn’t deserve you and you were strong enough to get you and your daughter out and are taking steps to keep him out of your lives. Thirdly, and most importantly, you are  so incredible, so beautiful, intelligent, funny, an amazing mom, and I would be LUCKY to get to spend time with you and get to know you.”

He leaned down, placing a soft kiss on your cheek, then pulling back to look into your eyes, willing you to see yourself in his eyes. To believe what he was saying.

“Like I said before, Sweetheart,” He continued, “No pressure. I just really want to get to know you more and would love to spend time with you.”

“I would really like to spend time with you too.” You admitted.

“Then we will start there.” He smiled sweetly at you.

“Look who’s up?” Jake said, carrying Gracie into the room. “I peeked in to check on her and my little Princess was awake and ready to play again.”

“There’s my sweet Gracie Girl!” You beamed at your daughter, “Did you sleep well?”

“Hi Mommy” She smiled, still rubbing her eyes, “Woosta, we pway again?”

“Wow, I see where her priorities are now.” You laughed.

“Hi Princess,” Bradley chucked, “I will happily play with you again. Do you want to go outside to play?”

“Yes! Outside!” She happily exclaimed, then looked at Jake, “Unco Jakey pway too?”

“Of course, Princess G!” He replied, kissing her forehead. “Let’s get your shoes on and we’ll go out back. I think we need to get you a swing for the backyard… or a playhouse and a slide!”

“Jakey!” You exclaimed, “There is a perfectly good park within walking distance. We’re not putting in a playground in your backyard.”

“No fun, Tulip.” He pouted, “Princess G needs her own playground.”

“Lord help me,” You rolled your eyes playfully, “You’re going to spoil that child rotten.”

“Nope.” he replied, “Not possible.”

“If you two have her, I’m going to go get started on dinner prep.” You said, heading to the kitchen.

While the guys were out back running with Gracie, you pulled out everything you needed to make dinner. Before getting too involved in prepping though, you paused to make a snack for Gracie, knowing she’d be hungry after her nap. You peeled and sliced apples for her, cutting them into bite size chunks and placed them on a plate with a handful of mini pretzels and cubes of cheese. This way she had a choice of what she’d snack on and you knew Jake or Bradley would help her finish if need be. Grabbing a sippy cup with water, you made your way out back.

“Snack time for my little Princess.” You said, setting the plate and cup down on the outdoor table.

“What about our snacks?” Jake asked, winking.

“You can see if your niece will share with you.” You said, smirking at him, “If not, there’s more fruit and cheese in the fridge. And dinner isn’t too far off.”

“Need any help with anything?” Bradley asked, “I promise I’m slightly more competent than Jake in the kitchen.”

“That’s not setting the bar too high.” You teased. “Gracie would be sad if I took her new bestie away from her.”

“I’ll cover.” Jake said, winking at you knowinging. “Princess G! Rooster has to help Mommy cook dinner, wanna go for a walk around the block with me?”

“Yes!” She said, dropping the ball she’d been playing with. “Bye Mommy! Bye Woosta!”

“And just like that, Uncle Jakey is the favorite again.” Jake said, flashing a victory smile. “Let’s go, Princess G!”

“Stay with Uncle Jakey, Gracie.” You reminded her, “Hold his hand!”

“Kitchen assistant Bradshaw reporting for duty.” Bradley said as the two of you stepped into the kitchen.

“When you said you are slightly more competent than Jake in the kitchen… How much more competent are you talking?” You asked, “He makes decent breakfast food and knows his way around a grill.”

“I can cook, Sweetheart.” He laughed, “I’m not a huge fan of it and it’s just me I’ll pick up take out, but my mom made sure I could cook.”

“Ok then.” You replied, trying and failing to maintain a serious expression. “You’re in charge of cutting the potatoes and veggies. The potatoes just need to be cut into wedges,  the broccoli cut off the stalk, and the  zucchini and yellow squash need to be cut into small chunks. That’s all going onto a sheet pan to be roasted.”

“I can handle that.” He promised, “Cutting board and knife, please.”

You handed him the  needed equipment and the veggies before turning to get  the chicken ready.

“Where’d you learn to cook so well?” He asked as he started to cut the potatoes.

“Jake got us through until I was old enough to read and understand a cookbook.” You said, “We ate a lot of eggs and toast, hot dogs and mac n cheese, and  grilled cheese sandwiches before that. When I was in 4th grade I checked out a cookbook from the library and made Jake get the ingredients… first few meals were rough, but then I got the hang of it. After that, Jake made sure we had a well stocked kitchen… well as best as  he could given the lack of funds we really had to work with.”

“I can’t even imagine, Sweetheart.” He replied, “It was just mom and Me…occasionally Mav when he wasn’t deployed, but my mom made sure I had everything I needed. You and Jake had to raise yourselves. Did you have any other family?”

“Just each other.” You replied, “We learned early that we were all we had. Jake did all he could to make sure nobody had reason to call family services on us. We took care of each other and stayed out of our parent’s way. What was your mom like?”

“Amazing.” He replied, a soft smile forming on his lips. “She was so full of life and love. She was the fun neighborhood mom. There were always extra kids hanging around. I think her mission was to make sure every kid was well fed. She made everything we did together fun, even the mundane things like chores.”

“I’m so sorry you lost her.” You said, “She sounds incredible.”

“I definitely wish she was still alive, but I’m lucky I had her for the time I did.” He replied. “Her and my dad had such a deep and complete love. After he died she was kinda lost for a bit. I don’t remember much of that time since I was so young, but it was almost like she snapped out of it and threw herself fully into just being my mom and raising me. She never dated anyone after my dad died. That’s probably the only thing I’d change. She deserved to be happy.”

“Maybe raising you and being there for you was what made her happy?” You suggested, “She had her one true love, and rather than settling for something less than that, she just poured all of her love into her child.”

“Isn’t there a balance though?” Bradley asked, “And do we only get one true love per lifetime?”

“I’m the wrong person to ask about that.” You said sadly, “I’ve never really been able to see what a healthy love is supposed to look like. I clearly didn’t find it with Trent.”

“Maybe not romantic love, but you and Jake love each other and have a sibling bond that not many reach.” He said, “You’ve also nailed the whole Mom gig, Sweetheart. So that proves you don’t need to have had a ‘good’ example in order to be capable of it.”

“Were you always so smart?” You asked, a smile forming on your face, “Or is this a new development?”

“Always.” He smirked, “You should trust me on this one.”

“I’ll take it under consideration.” You teased, “In the meantime, keep choppin’. I need to put the veggies in at the same time as the chicken.”

“On it.” He smirked, winking.  He finished chopping the vegetables while you finished getting the chicken seasoned and on the cooking sheet.

Once everything was on the cooking sheets and in the oven you grabbed a couple of beers from the fridge and passed one to Bradley.

“Well done, kitchen assistant Bradshaw.” You smiled, “You can help me out anytime.”

“How about, I help you this Friday when the squad invades for dinner.” He suggested, “Then… you let me take you out to dinner on Saturday night, so you’re not having to cook.”

“I’d have to see if Jake has plans…” You said, “Unless we do an early dinner and at a kid friendly restaurant.”

“Sweetheart, I am completely on board with both of those options.” Bradley said, “We could even take her and have a beach day and then dinner in the evening. I’m sure the squad would take a beach day too if you’d be more comfortable with a group.”

“I’d be comfortable with just you too, Bradley.” You said, offering a smile.

“How about we see if Jake and Phoenix want to join us?” He suggested, “That way we can give them a gentle push together. And while we do that, we get to spend more time together, with Gracie as an added bonus.”

“I like that.” You replied. Then, deciding to be brave and trust not only yourself, but also your brother’s judgment in friends and most importantly in Bradley.  “I’d also like to spend time with you… just the two of us… if you’re willing to deal with complicated.”

“Complicated is good.” He smiled, moving to stand closer to you, his hand coming to gently push some hair from your face, “You’re worth complicated, Sweetheart.”

“We’re back!” Jake called from the living room.

“We back Mommy!” Gracie parroted her uncle. The pair made their way into the kitchen, Gracie hitching a ride on Jake’s back.

“Someone was lucky enough to get a piggy back ride from Uncle Jakey, I see.” You laughed.

“She made a solid case for why she should get a ride.” Jake shrugged, smiling.’

After dinner you got Gracie in the bath, letting her play in the warm water for a bit, while Jake and Bradley played a flying video game.

Once you had Gracie bathed and her pajamas on, you took her back out to the living room to let her play for a bit before you started her bedtime routine.

“You’d think you two got enough of that piloting stuff in your actual jobs.” You teased, sitting down in the oversized chair next to the couch. “Just can’t get enough of it huh?”

“This is different, Tulip.” Jake insisted, “We get to fly planes from different eras and hone our skills in different terrains.”

“And we get to blow stuff up.” Bradley added, smirking. “That’s fun too.”

“That’s more in line with what I figured.” You said, rolling your eyes playfully.

“Mommy, you wead book pwease?” Gracie said, bringing over one of her books.

“I will happily read you a book, Baby Girl.” You said, smiling at your little girl. “Do you want to go snuggle in your bed and read before it’s sleepytime?”

“Yes, pwease.” She agreed, rubbing her eyes. All of the playtime and fresh air wore her out.

“Say goodnight to Uncle Jakey and Bradley.” You said. You watched as they instantly paused their game, and turned their full focus on Gracie. It warmed your heart as it’s not something her father ever did.

“Night Unco Jakey.” Gracie said, hugging him first. “Wuv you.”

“I love you too, Princess G.” He replied, hugging her tightly, “Sweet dreams.”

“Night Woosta.” She says, climbing over into Bradley’s lap and hugging him. “Wuv you.”

“Goodnight, Princess.” He replied softly, holding her gently and hugging her back and dropping a soft kiss on her head. “I love you too.”

“We pway tomorrow?” She asked him.

“I have to work tomorrow, Sweetheart.” He answered, “But, I promise to come play with you again soon, OK?”

“Otay.” She agreed before hopping down and heading to her room.

***********

The rest of the week went pretty smoothly. You’d talked to Penny about the part time job she offered at the Hard Deck. She’d told you that it was yours and that she’d work around daycare for you. Amelia was willing to babysit once school was out for the summer, so you only needed a sitter part time for about a month. You were going to meet with her next week to figure out the hours and everything the job would entail.

Friday night was the squad dinner night, everyone loved the homemade pizzas. Bradley had arrived after work and had helped you make the pizzas. Gracie’s favorite night of the week was Friday when the squad was over. She loved having all the playmates.

“What time are we headed to the beach tomorrow?” Phoenix asked once everyone but Bradley had left.

“Probably mid morning, I’m guessing.” Jake said, “We can bring the pack n play and an umbrella so Gracie can nap at the beach.”

“It’s sweet seeing you with her.” Phoenix says, offering Jake a soft smile. He blushed, a smile forming on his face.

“Gracie is really good at wrapping Naval aviators around her little finger.” You said.

“Yes she is.” Bradley agreed. “She’s got me hooked.”

“She’s not the only one.” Phoenix said, smirking knowingly at Bradley.

“That I’ve already admitted to.” He said, winking at you.

“Hey, Nix” Jake said, “Feel like being on babysitting duty with me tomorrow night? We get to hang with a really sweet toddler. She’s lots of fun…”

“That sounds fun.” She said, it was now her turn to blush. “I’d love to.”

You and Bradley shared a conspiratory look. You really hoped spending time together would push the pair together.

The next morning Jake was loading the pack n play, umbrella and beach chairs into the truck while you pulled together snacks and a lunch for everyone. You’d packed the beach bag before going to bed the night before so all you needed to do was get dressed and get Gracie dressed.

“Alright, the truck is packed up. Phoenix and Bradley just got here. I’ll get Gracie changed.” Jake said, “Go get dressed so we can hit the beach.”

Fifteen minutes later you were ready. You’d opted for a simple blue two piece swimsuit, one of two you’d bought while shopping with Phoenix. You threw a pair of cut off jean shorts and a tank top over your suit and slipped on flip flops.

“Ok, I’m ready.” You said, pulling your hair into a messy bun, while walking into the living room. “I packed towels, food, drinks, sunscreen, toys… what am I forgetting?”

“I think you got it covered, Tulip.” Jake laughed, “Let’s go! Princess G, do you wanna ride with Uncle Jakey and Phoenix?”

“Ok, so we’re taking two vehicles.” You laughed.

“Yay! I wide wif Unco Jakey and Nix!” Gracie exclaimed.

“Let’s load up!” Jake said, scooping Gracie up onto his shoulders, making her giggle.

“He’s so adorable with her.” Phoenix told you, a soft look in her eyes.

You flashed her a knowing smile and grabbed your purse.  The three of you followed Jake and Gracie out to the vehicles.

“See y’all at the beach.” Bradley said, opening the passenger door for you.

“Such a gentleman.” You smirked when he got into the driver’s seat.

“My mom raised me well.” he said, chuckling.

“She sure did.” You smiled, looking at him over your sunglasses.

“You’re gonna be trouble, Sweetheart.” He laughed.

After pulling into the beach parking lot. Bradley helped Jake carry all of the big stuff to where you would set up for the day. While they got the umbrella up and the pack n play set up…which was amusing to watch… you and Phoenix grabbed Gracie and the rest of the stuff from the truck.

“We have to put sunscreen on you before you play, Gracie.” You said, kneeling down on the sand to apply the sunscreen. “Alright, play here for a little bit until it soaks into your skin.”

You pulled out a couple of her toys for her to play with while she waited. In the meantime, you pulled off the tank you’d put over your swimsuit, dropping it on the bag. You started to apply sunscreen to your own skin, not wanting to burn.

“I’ll get your back.” Bradley offered, his eyes wandering over you. You smiled, feeling heat creep over your neck and face, having nothing to do with the sun. You handed him the bottle.  “Turn around.”

You turned around so your back was to him. You had to bite back a moan when his warm, strong hands started rubbing the lotion into your back. He clearly knew what he was doing to you, judging by the smirk on his face once he’d finished.

“Your turn.” You replied, making a spinning motion with your finger to get him to turn around. “Shirt off, Flyboy.”

He laughed, complying with your order. He shrugged out of the Hawaiian shirt he had on and pulled off the white tank undershirt over his head, revealing a well toned, back and wide shoulders. You squeezed some sunscreen onto your hand and rubbed them together to warm the lotion before running your hands over his back, rubbing the lotion in thoroughly.

You smirked when you were done and he’d turned to you, his eyes betraying the effect your hands had on him. It was a boost to your confidence that you clearly needed.

“Mommy we swim?” Gracie asked, abandoning the toys she’d been playing with. “Pwease?”

“Absolutely, Sweet Girl!” You said, picking your little girl up. She was wearing a Disney Princess swimsuit with ruffles around the middle making it look like it had a tutu attached. You put the toddler sized life jacket on her, making sure it was secure. Someone would be holding her at all times in the water but you were always very cautious, having seen too many news stories of toddlers accidentally drowning.

“Let’s play in the water, Princess.” Bradley said, gently tapping Gracie’s nose with his finger, making her laugh.

You all headed to the water, Jake and Phoenix walking ahead of you, sending flirty looks back and forth between them. You glanced over to Bradley to see if he was noticing, but his whole focus was on you. You ducked your head, resting it against Gracie’s as you kept walking towards the water.

The four of you all took turns holding Gracie and spinning her the water. Jake and Bradley tossed her back and forth between them, dipping her as they caught her so her feet splashed the water. When she was tired of being in the water, you and Phoenix took her to shore to play with her sand toys, the two of you sitting in the sand to watch. Jake and Bradley stayed in the water, tossing a football back and forth.

“This was a good idea.” Phoenix said, “Thanks for inviting me.”

“This is probably the most fun I’ve had in… I don’t even know how long.” You admitted, “I’m really glad you’re here. It’s nice having a friend.”

“It’s even nicer not to be outnumbered by men.” Phoenix laughed, “I love my squad, but it’s a LOT of testosterone.”

“I can only imagine.” You said, “Just from what I’ve seen at our dinners and the zoo trip… they’re a lot to wrangle.”

“Worth it though.” She smiled, looking out at where the guys were now apparently locked in a water war.

“Definitely.” You agreed, your eyes on Bradley and his rippling muscles on display.

“He’s one of the good ones, Y/N.” She remarked, catching you staring at Bradley. “I know you’re going through it right now, and might not be fully ready, but know that it doesn’t get much better than Bradshaw. He’s safe. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but he’s gone for you and Gracie.”

“We actually talked… Monday after Jake and I got back from court.” You admitted. “He laid all the cards on the table. I really like him, Nat. A lot. He’s so easy to fall for. He’s amazing with Gracie… I know he’s one of the good ones…”

“But…?” She pushed, maintaining eye contact.

“I’m a mess. I come with a lot of baggage and I’m scared.” You said, “Not of him. I’m scared of being too much of shit show and dragging him down. He deserves so much more than that.”

“Sweetie, he might look like he’s got it all together, but that man comes with some pretty heavy baggage too.” She replied gently, “Rooster has some trust issues caused by Mav. They’re good now, but there’s history there. He also has baggage relating to everything that went down with his dad and seeing how it affected his mom. BUT…despite all that, he’s willing to take the risk and trust you with his heart. I can see it all over his face. You should also know, he’s never been like this with anyone before. He’s… different with you and Gracie. He’s settled… calm. All I’m saying is… if you feel the same about him, go with it, Y/N… trust him.”

“I think I’ve decided I am.” You said, “He’s taking me out tonight, which is why you and Jake are on babysitting duty.”

“I wondered about that.” She smiled, “Good. Just stay out of your head. Don’t think.”

“Just do.” You finished, laughing at the catchphrase that had taken over the Dagger squad.

“See? You fit right in.” She smirked, before pushing some sand towards Gracie, who was busy scooping the sand into her bucket.

“Speaking of giving guys a chance…” You said, leveling her with a look. “You should know that the same applies to you and my brother. Jake also doesn’t let many in, or let his guard down, yet around you…. He’s himself one hundred percent of the time. He trusts you to see the real Jake. The softer, sometimes insecure Jake. He LIKES you… a lot. It scares him though. He doesn’t want to screw up the friendship with you because it’s something he treasures dearly.”

“I really like him too.” She admitted, “A Lot. I keep trying to drop hints or show him, but I just assumed he wasn’t interested… that him being flirty is just Jake.”

“You’re both idiots.” You laughed, “Ok, so here’s what’s going to happen… tonight after Gracie is in bed, the two of you need to talk. I’ll have dinner delivered for you. My brother is oblivious, Nat… you can’t be subtle.”

“What if I freak him out and he really doesn’t want to try anything beyond friendship?” She asked, “We just got reassigned to Top Gun with the Dagger squad… I can’t put in for reassignment.”

“You’re not going anywhere!” You exclaimed, “This will work out. I promise. Have you seen him flirt with anyone else since you all came back from the mission? Has he hooked up with any females or left the bar with any? The answer to that is no… because Jake is completely on team Phoenix.”

“Mommy, I hungy.” Gracie said, looking up from her buckets.

“Ok, Sweet Girl,” You said, “Let's rinse off then go back to the blanket and Mommy will get you lunch.”

You picked up your sandy toddler and walked into the water with her, rinsing off the sand as best as you could. You’d have to wipe her down with the towel and some baby wipes before she could eat. You got Jake and Bradley’s attention, letting them know you were gonna get lunch stuff ready. Nodding, they made their way back to shore as well.

After everyone ate, Jake and Phoenix decided to take a walk for a bit. Gracie was starting to rub her eyes and get sleepy so you placed her in the pack n play under the umbrella, with a towel over her and she drifted off to sleep quickly.

You and Bradley settled down onto the blanket laid out under the beach umbrella next to the pack n play.

“This was a really good idea.” You told him, “It’s been an amazing day.”

“It really has.” He agreed. “I think our plan is working on Jake and Nat too, so added bonus.” “It is! She admitted to really liking him… and she’s been trying to subtly let him know.” You said, “I told her tonight she has to spell it out for him. Jake doesn’t always pick up on subtleties.”

“That’s the truth!” He laughed. “I have to admit though, Sweetheart, as much as I’m enjoying today and getting to see you in this amazing swimsuit… I’m really looking forward to taking you out to dinner tonight.”

“I’m really looking forward to it too.” You smiled, “But I’ve also been enjoying the view of you shirtless today. It’s kinda distracting.”

“Distracting huh,” He smirks, turning his body towards you.

“You know you’re hot, Flyboy.” You replied, playfully rolling your eyes.

“I’ve done alright, but I wouldn’t classify myself as ‘hot’, Sweetheart.” He said, averting his eyes.

“I thought you had to have good eyesight to fly those expensive planes.” You said, leaning over to nudge him gently.

“I mean, yeah…” He replied, looking back up at you with confusion in his eyes.

“I’m thinking maybe you need your vision checked, Lieutenant.” You teased, “If you can’t see that you’re incredibly good looking, I don’t know that you should be flying those planes.”

“Trust me, Sweetheart,” He said, leveling you with a steamy look, before allowing his eyes to wander, “There’s nothing wrong with my vision.”

Now it was your turn to avert your gaze, heat creeping over your body again. Even though you weren’t entirely sure what you were doing or where this was going, it felt really good to be noticed and to know that Bradley was attracted to you.

The warmth of the day and the sound of the waves lulled you into a drowsy state, and at some point relaxed you to the point of falling asleep. Bradley watched you, committing this moment to his memory. He was no match for the sun and waves though either, and ended up falling asleep next to you, one arm tucked under his head as a pillow the other ended up draped over your stomach.

“Do we wake them up?” Jake asked, taking in the scene in front of him when him and Phoenix returned from their walk.

“Nah, let them sleep.” She replied, smiling, “It’s sweet. They’re both completely relaxed, not a care in the world.”

“I doubt Tulip has let her guard down like this in a very long time.” Jake agreed, “It’s nice to see. He’s one of the only guys I’d trust with my sister.”

“She really likes him.” Phoenix said, “A lot. She’s scared that she’s got too much baggage though. I set her straight on that.”

“Good.” He replied, “Thank you, Nix. It means a lot to me that you’ve become her friend. She needs it.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Jake.” She replied, “I really like your sister. She’s easy to be friends with.”

Jake grabbed his phone from the bag he’d set it in and opened the camera app, capturing the moment before him. Phoenix chuckled, shaking her head.

“Blackmail?” She asked

“Nope. Just figured they’d want this moment someday.” Jake admitted, smiling. “Those two are going to be each other’s endgame. Princess G will get to grow up with two parents that love her and she’ll see what it’s supposed to look like. She won’t grow up like we did.”

“Jake, I can’t imagine what it was like for you and Y/N growing up” Phoenix said, “But the two of you grew up to be incredible people despite it all. Just… don’t doubt that, ok?”

“Thank you, Nat.” He replied softly, “You don’t know how much that means.”

After Gracie’s nap, and yours and Bradley’s impromptu nap, everyone spent a little more time in the water and playing with Gracie in the sand before rinsing off in the outdoor showers and loading the vehicles again.  

Bradley dropped you off, promising to return at 6 to get you for your dinner date. Phoenix had brought a change of clothes with, so she showered in Jake’s shower while you showered and got ready in the main bathroom.

You weren’t really sure where Bradley planned to take you, so you decided to wear a sundress with a cardigan in case it got cooler once the sun set and paired it all with strappy sandals to complete the look. You left your hair down after showering, deciding to just dry it and let it hang in soft waves.

You left your room to head out to the living room. Gracie was playing with her toys, freshly bathed and in jammies. Jake, haven given her a bath while you were getting ready.

“You look gorgeous, Y/N!” Phoenix said, once you’d entered the room.

“Thank you,” You replied, smiling, “I’m not sure where we’re going…so I didn’t want to go too fancy or too casual.”

“You look beautiful, Tulip.” Jake said, coming in from the kitchen with drinks for himself and Phoenix. “I ordered pizza, it’ll be here in 45 minutes.”

“Sounds great.” Phoenix said, “Does Gracie like pizza? I can make her something else if she doesn’t.”

“She loves pizza.” You assured her, “Hopefully she doesn’t give y’all too much trouble falling asleep tonight.”

“I’m sure with all the fresh air she got today, she’ll pass right now.” Jake laughed, “But you’re not allowed to worry or even think about that while you’re out. Enjoy the time with Rooster. We’ve got this under control.”

“Thank you for taking care of her.” You replied, “You’re a fantastic uncle… and the best big brother.”

“Mommy, come pway?” Gracie asked from her play area.

“Mommy is going to go out for a bit with Bradley for dinner.” You said, walking over to her and crouching down next to her, “You’re going to stay here with Uncle Jakey and Nix.”

“We’re going to have so much fun, Princess G.” Jake said.

The doorbell rang and Jake stepped over to open the door.

“Come on in.” he said, “Lookin’ sharp, Rooster.”

“Thanks, Hangman.” He chuckled, stepping into the house.

“Woosta!” Gracie exclaimed, running over to him. You smiled, standing back up, as Bradley picked her up.

“Hi, Princess.” He chuckled, hugging her to him. She immediately laid her head down on his shoulder, snuggling into him. Unable to resist, you pulled your phone out and snapped a quick picture. He looked up, flashing a warm smile towards you. “You look beautiful, Sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” You replied, “You look pretty hot yourself.”

“Alright, you two.” Jake said, “It’s time for our slumber party with Princess G. No Moms and Roosters allowed.”

“Sounds like you’re going to have so much fun, Princess.” Bradley said, walking with her towards you.

“Come give Mommy hugs and kisses, Sweet Girl.” You said, reaching for her. She put her arms out for you to take her and immediately snuggled into you.

“Wuv you Mommy.” She said softly.

“I love you too Baby Girl.” You replied, “Be good for Uncle Jakey and Nix ok?”

“Otay.” She said, then looked back at Bradley, “Wuv you Woosta.”

“I love you too, Princess.” He replied, leaning down to drop a kiss on her head.

“Have her home by midnight.” Jake said, “No funny business. I’d hate to have to kick your ass.”

“Wow, Jakey.” You laughed, shaking your head.

“Ok, Dad, let the kids go on their date.” Phoenix laughed. Shaking her head at Jake. “You two go have fun, we’ve got it under control.”

“Thanks, Nat.” You replied, hugging Gracie again before handing her to Jake. “Thanks Jakey.”

“It’s not a problem, Tulip. I get time with two beautiful ladies. It’s a win win.” Jake replied.

After saying goodbyes Bradley leads you out to the Bronco, opening the passenger door and helping you up before going around to the driver’s side and sliding in.

“I asked Jake for ideas of where to go… I didn’t wanna blow my one shot…” He said, giving you a sheepish look, “So I hope you like the Italian place he suggested.”

“Bradley, there is zero chance of you blowing this.” You assured him, “Italian sounds great.”

He visibly relaxed as he backed out of the driveway and started the journey to the restaurant.

“I feel like I’m the one that should be nervous.” You teased, “It’s been… a while….since I’ve been on a date.”

“Are you? Nervous?” he asked, glancing over at you.

“I was.” You admitted, “Getting ready, I was kinda a mess. But I’m not now. I feel comfortable with you… safe. You have a calming presence.”

He reached across the seat, taking your hand in his own, “You have no idea how much that means to me, Sweetheart.” He said softly, “I feel the same… being with you is calming. I love getting to spend time with you and Gracie, especially after a crazy week on base. I live for Fridays.”

“You never have to wait for Fridays,” You said, “Gracie and I would love to see you any day of the week.”

“You’re killing me, Sweetheart.” He groaned, “I know we need to take this slowly, but I didn’t realize how difficult that would be. I fall deeper every minute we get to spend together.”

“I’m sorry, Bradley.” You said, a mixture of feelings swirling inside you. You were happy and felt good that he was just as affected as you were, but feelings of guilt surfaced because of all of your baggage and the fact that you were still technically married was holding everything back. He needed someone who was free to love him the way he deserved without being bogged down.

“Hey, Sweetheart, no.” He said, squeezing your hand reassuringly, “Don’t apologize. I will happily go as slow as you need and wait as long as needed for the opportunity to be with you. You are worth it, Y/N.”

You gave him a soft smile, squeezing his hand back.

“You shouldn’t have to wait around for someone to figure their life out though. It’s not fair to you.” You said quietly.

“Sweetheart, some things in life are very much worth the wait.” He replied, “YOU are one of those things. I WANT to wait and be here when you’re ready. I want nothing more than a shot with you and Gracie.”

“You have more than a shot, Bradley.” You replied, deciding to trust in his words and in what Natasha had told you earlier at the beach, “Just promise if it gets to be too much, you’ll tell me. I don’t want to hold you back.”

“I promise.” He said, flashing you a bright smile that went all the way to his honeyed eyes, “It won’t be too much, but I promise to keep open communication with you. Do you promise to tell ME if it’s too much, if you need more or need me to back off?”

“I promise.” You said, “But I don’t want or need you to back off.”

You arrived at the restaurant, Bradley once more opening your door and keeping his hand on the small of your back as you walked in. Once seated you ordered drinks before the waiter left you to look over menus. The night went smoothly, falling into easy conversation with Bradley. The two of you talked about everything and anything that came up.  The more you learned about the aviator the further you fell for him. You knew you were dangerously close to falling in love with him.  

“That was so good.” You sighed, taking a final bite of the chocolate cake you and Bradley had ordered to share. “I’m so full.”

“It was pretty good.” Bradley agreed, “I like that layered cake you made last week better though. That was amazing.”

“That’s Gracie’s favorite too.” You smiled, “I’ll have to make it again soon…for two of my favorite people.”

“I have it on good authority that you’re our favorite person too.” He replied, reaching across the table to gently take your hand in his again. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight, Sweetheart… not really ready for it to end… How would you feel about taking a walk? Or if you want, we can go to the Hard Deck.”

“I’m really enjoying it too.” You replied, “How about we walk on the beach near the Hard Deck and if we decide to get a drink we’ll be right there?”

“That sounds perfect.” He replied.

After Bradley paid the check, the two of you walked out hand in hand to the Bronco. The ride to the beach parking closest to the Hard Deck was relaxed, Bradley never letting go of your hand. He had the radio set to a classic rock station but the volume down so you could still talk.  

The parking lot was essentially deserted when he pulled in, only a few cars remaining. It was close enough to the Hard Deck, it sometimes doubled as overflow parking when needed. It didn’t appear to be the case tonight.

The two of you made your way to the beach, kicking off shoes once you reached the sand. You walked hand in hand down the beach, enjoying each other’s company and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. After a while Bradley paused, tugging on your hand gently to get you to stop.

“Want to sit here for a while? The sun will be completely setting soon.” He suggested.

“Sure.” You replied, smiling softly. You followed him over to some rocks that had been smoothed out over time, making them perfect for sitting on.

Bradley sat down first, then pulled you down to sit in front of him, allowing you to rest against him. His arms coming around you to hold you.

“Is this ok?” He asked softly, his breath warm against your ear.

“It’s perfect.” You replied, relaxing into him. You rested your hands on his legs, sinking back into his warmth.

“This is way better than the Hard Deck.” He said, chuckling. “I love Penny and it’s a fun place to hang out, but this way I don’t have to share you.”

“I’ve not been there yet to make the judgment, but I think it would be really hard to top this.” You replied, “Penny offered me a part time job there though until I get my life figured out. I just need to find a temporary part time sitter until Amelia is off for the summer.”

“You’ll like working with Penny. She’s great.” He replied, “It’ll be good for you to be out of the house too, and good for Gracie to be around new people.”

“I’m just scared to trust anyone with her.” You admitted. “Scared Trent will show up and take her while I’m not there to protect her.”

“We won’t let that happen, Sweetheart.” He replied, “We will find someone to watch her where she’s completely and 100% safe.”

“Do you know how absolutely amazing you are?” You asked, moving your head so you could look back at him. “I can’t even express how full my heart gets when I see you with Gracie and how sweet you are with her. I don’t know how we got so lucky to get to have you in our lives.”

“Sweetheart, I’m the lucky one.” He replied, his voice thick with all the emotions he was feeling, “You and Gracie are all I never knew I was missing from my life. I don’t even want to think about my life without you two now. I was just sort of existing on auto-pilot until walking into Jake’s that day on an SOS Princess mission.”

“I can’t give you a definitive time for everything with Trent to be wrapped up, but I promise, Gracie and I aren’t going anywhere.” You said.

“I don’t need a timeline, Sweetheart.” He replied, leaning down to kiss your forehead. “I’m not going anywhere either.”

You continued to sit together, watching as the sun set over the water. The sky changed colors until darkness settled in. Once the sun set the temperature started to drop, making you shiver despite Bradley’s warm body against your back.

“You’re getting cold, Sweetheart.” Bradley said, noticing the shivering, “Let’s head back to the Bronco. We can decide where to go from there.”

“Ok,” You replied, “I wasn’t anticipating such a big difference in the temp once the sun set.”

“It’s not as noticeable, unless you’re on the water.” He replied, “By the beach, you end up feeling the difference more.”

You walked back the way you’d come, hand in hand. This time you stopped to put your shoes back on before hitting the pavement of the parking lot.

Once back at the Bronco, Bradley walked with you to the passenger side. Instead of opening the door, he turned so that he was standing facing you, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. You leaned into his hand, enjoying the feel of it against his warm palm. You moved your hands up and around to his back, while he moved his other hand up to cup your face, looking into your eyes. You took a slight step closer, your hands moving up on his back in the process.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want to misread this situation…” He said, “But I really want to kiss you right now.”

“You’re not misreading anything.” You whispered.

Bradley leaned in slowly, giving you time to change your mind. His hands moved into your hair, tipping your head back and leaning further down until his soft lips connected with your own. A few seconds later, he pulled back to see your reaction. Seeing you smile, he leaned back in, chasing your lips again. You tightened your grip on his back, trying to get closer. He holds you tighter, his tongue snaking out to lick the seam of your lips. You open, granting him access, your own tongue meeting his as you both tentatively give in to the attraction that had been building. You remain locked in the heated exchange for what felt like hours but was only moments, before the need for oxygen forced you to separate enough to pull in shaky breaths.

“Holy shit.” Bradley whispered, not able to trust his voice. “That was incredible.”

“You are an exceptionally good kisser, Bradley.” You replied, your voice shaky from the kiss.

“That was all you, Sweetheart.” He said, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this affected by a kiss before.”

“I thought the ‘feeling fireworks’ or ‘sparks flying’ were just figures of speech.” You smiled, “I can confirm it is an actual occurrence.”

“Right there with you,” He smirked, “I need a minute to recover here.”

By the time Bradley was pulling the Bronco onto Jake’s street it was close to 11. The two of you had stopped at the Hard Deck for a drink before calling it a night. Coyote, Payback, Fanboy and Bob had been there. They tried to coerce Bradley into a game of pool, but he’d firmly declined, wanting to devote all of his attention to you.

“I had a really good time tonight, Bradley.” You said, smiling over at him. Your hands were once again entwined. “Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure, Sweetheart.” He replied, smiling over at you. “I hope I get to take you out again soon… and I’d love to spend time with you and Gracie together too.”

“We’d both love that” You assured him. “And look, we’re home before midnight.”

“That we are.” He agreed, then frowned at an unfamiliar car parked on the street with Texas plates. “Hey, Sweetheart, do me a favor and call Jake quick. Tell him and Nat to come outside. You’re going to go with Nat into the house and call the police. Stay inside with Gracie.”

“Bradley, what’s going on?” You asked, looking around to see what you’d missed, your eyes landing on the very familiar car. You felt bile start to rise in your throat, your heart started to race.

“Baby, I need you to stay calm ok?” Bradley said, “There is nothing he can do to you. Neither Jake nor I will let him anywhere near you, I promise you that. Can you please call Jake? I’m going to park and get out so I’m able to get you ok?”

You nodded then pulled your phone out and called Jake.

“Tulip, why are you calling me from the driveway?” Jake asked, confusion in his voice.

“Jakey” You whispered, fear choking your voice. “It’s Trent… he’s here.”

A/N: PHEW! That was was along one...what do we think??? Always love hearing your reactions! <3 

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#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #top gun fanfiction #Miles Teller #starting over

[storiesofsvu]

A Dangerous Game Ch 3

Emily Prentiss x reader Warnings: language, usual Criminal Minds canon type conversation, mentions of violence, nothing descriptive though. Minor flirtation, smut maybe eluded to. So. for those of you who loved how long the first chapter was, this may just be the fic for you. I originally wanted this entire "trip" to be one chapter but this one ended up being long enough on its own so I've split it up by days. Downside: you now have to wait for the smut. LOL. sorry not sorry at least that means we're now getting more plot? more time for our girls to actually get to know each other...

It was as if your first case in the field was your official initiation onto the team. Though honestly, it kind of was, being a profiler wasn’t for everyone, especially with the BAU. You had to be quick on your feet, fit in well with the rest of the team, be used to seeing gruesome crime scenes and be ready to leave Quantico at a moment’s notice, not worrying about what you were leaving behind. After the case in Omaha you’d proven yourself on all accounts and found yourself thoroughly enjoying coming into work and the people you spent your days with.

It started out with a coffee left on your desk, a friendly good morning from Penelope along with a warm smile. Monday’s she would linger a little bit longer, asking how your weekend went and when you mentioned most of your free time was still spent making yourself have energy for unpacking and trying to figure out where everything would go in your house she offered up some of her time the next weekend. Considering her office was one of the most positivity oozing rooms at the BAU you figured it’d be nice to have her as a second set of eyes. That weekend you discovered you were both coming from the same direction and usually stopped to grab coffee together on the way into work, giving you a little more gossip time before hitting Quantico.

After your first trip to the range with Derek you found that there was a lot of friendly competition banter going on between the two of you. In spare time between cases or to kick the mid afternoon slump doing paperwork you started running together, which lead to hitting the gym together a couple of times a week. The competition definitely helped both of you push yourselves passed the limits you’d normally go, not to the point of hurting, but you were already seeing results and you weren’t complaining.

One of your weekends you’d been out exploring Alexandria and ended up running into JJ coming out of a cute café. The accidental run in had you being introduced to Will and the boys, joining them in the park for a couple of hours afterwards. The boys loved you, pleading for more playdates, asking if you could come for dinner. You politely had to decline that night but did offer up to Will and JJ that if they ever wanted a date night you were more than willing to babysit free of charge.

Spencer and you often found yourselves talking about books, exchanging some of your favourites to read in downtime or while on the jet. It was another thing that helped you actually get unpacked and get yourself set up, wanting to find specific ones you knew he’d enjoy. He took you to a couple of his favourite old book stores around the area, spending a few hours perusing the shelves for a few hours until you had selected a few.

Even Rossi you found yourself getting along with perfectly, though your conversations were more limited or related to work. He did have a plethora of knowledge on fine wine and whiskey that you weren’t about to turn down, and you ended up having a couple of life chats over the weeks. He’d been with the bureau for long enough to have seen it all and the stories and lessons he could provide were ones you were going to pay strict attention to.

The only one you hadn’t had much one on one time with was Emily. Well… since you’d shown up for your first day of work that is. There were small fleeting moments here and there, ones where you had to drop off paperwork in her office, or when the two of you happened to be filling up coffees at the same time. Caught in the breakroom together with so much sexual tension buzzing between you, you were glad you were alone, it would be a wonder for no one else to pick up on it. It certainly didn’t help that you’d both been busy trying not to think about fucking the other person and with work that you hadn’t exactly had time to find someone else to relieve the urge. Instead your nights were full of remembering just how good Emily made you feel, your hands often wandering, wishing they were hers instead of your own.

Every day you got to work Emily would, once again, think about completely remodelling her office so your desk wasn’t in her direct eyeline when she was sat at hers. Your laughter would drift through the bull pen into her ears like fucking silk and it was killing her, she was more than happy to see you fitting in with everyone else but there was almost a twinge of jealousy. She wondered if the two of you would be able to hang out and just be friends as she watched you chatting with Penelope. She nearly had herself convinced she would be fine until you stood from your desk, leaning over to grab something from Spencer’s and the neck of your blouse gaped low enough she could see the green lace of your bra and swell of your chest underneath it. She let out a groan, dropping her pen to her desk as she shifted her thighs together. She needed to fuck you again.

Absolute need, not want.

*

It had been a relatively relaxing week, if one could even say that about working with the FBI. You all thought you were basically in the clear, waiting for the okay to come through so you could enjoy the weekend ahead. You’d finished a pile of paperwork earlier, dropping it in Emily’s inbox on her desk, thankful for the fact that she was in the conference room for once. Currently, Spencer had pulled up to your desk as the two of you were competing to see who could finish the crossword the fastest. (It wasn’t a competition, you all knew Spence was going to obliterate you, but it was a fun way to kill the time). None of you even noticed Emily exit the conference room as she quickly strode along the raised platform to her office, her authoritative voice breaking into the calm atmosphere of the bull pen.

“Wheels up in ten!”

You glanced up and she’d already disappeared into her office, your brow furrowed as you looked across at JJ, curious about what was different today.

“Means it’s super time sensitive.” The blonde replied, pulling open a drawer of her desk to grab her go bag, “we’ll debrief on the jet.”

*

The jet was on its way to Atlanta, where an unsub had been kidnapping young girls, taunting their families and the local police down to a specific timeline until he killed his victim. The first girl had been kidnapped almost a month ago and her body hadn’t turned up until nearly a week later but with each victim he got, the unsub was escalating, taking less and less time between the hunt and the kill. It had taken two weeks for police to realize things were connected, much less a pattern. Two days ago a young girl had gone missing from her bed in the middle of the night, it was the first kidnapping of its kind, originally not thought to be connected until the taunting started. Police found her body thirty six hours after she was taken. At eleven a.m. today a girl, April, was snatched from the playground at school and you had deduced you had less than twenty four hours to find her alive.

“We’ll be touching down in ten.” Emily’s voice floated through the jet, returning from the cockpit, pulling you out of the trance you’d been in reading over the case file, “Spence, Morgan, you’re going to the local precinct, read what they’ve got, figure out what they’re missing. JJ and Rossi talk to the families, all of them, we’ve got to figure out if there’s a connection between these girls, something that might help us find the unsub. Wilson and I will take the school and work through the other crime scenes.”

There was a small rumble of accepting roles through the jet, nods from all of you as you shifted into the right focus for the rest of the day. Emily hadn’t even really realized she’d paired herself off with you, she’d simply been thinking who was best applied where to find this girl as fast as they could. She dropped down into the seat next to you, her arm brushing against yours on the arm rest and heat surged through your body at what felt like an incredibly inappropriate moment. You cleared your throat to regain your focus, passing her the file you’d been looking through and shifted slightly in your seat so you weren’t touching her.

You could think about her touching you once you were in the privacy of your hotel room tonight, right now you had a job to do.

*

You were thankful for the distraction of work as you and Emily pulled up to the school, briefly talking with the local pd, a couple of teachers and the principal. Despite the police already doing a sweep, it was still ongoing, while Emily busied herself with talking to a few of April’s friends, trying to figure out exactly where she had been playing and if anyone had a description of who she’d gone off with you were retracing steps through the playground. One of the structures was made up to be a ship, cops said they’d found April’s back pack on the lower deck of it so you knew she’d been playing somewhere on it. You noticed a child sized entrance that lead to the below deck area, letting out a groan at the fact that this was clearly made for tiny humans and not adults, but weaseled your way through it anyways. Using your flashlight you searched the area, sand squishing under your shoes as you swept every inch. A bit of graffiti on the wood, an sand pail in the corner to collect the garbage, a note or two pinned to the wall as form of communication between kids who had recess at different times. The beam of your light swept over the corner of the space and a flash of vey bright colour caught your eye, pulling a glove out of your pocket you tugged it on before picking it up.

“Prentiss!” You called out, scrambling back through the entrance.

“Yeah?” Her voice replied from a distance and you found an exit from the ship, jumping back down to the sand. “You get something?”

“This is the same bracelet that they found on Lucy’s body.” You held it up.

“Looks like some kind of friendship bracelet.”

“Can’t be a coincidence.” You tugged your phone out of your pocket, snapping a picture of it before Emily pulled out an evidence bag for you to drop it into.

“Get that picture to JJ to see if any of the other parents remember seeing it on their kid, or who it might’ve been from. Loop in Garcia to see if it’s chain made or not. You mind?” She reached out for the bag and you shook your head, handing it off to her, “I’m gonna talk with a couple of these guys, make sure April was the one wearing it.”

“Yeah.”

You shot off the handful of texts, checking in with what the others had discovered so far, chatting back and fourth a bit before you swept through the rest of the playground. Emily appeared at your side again later and you glanced up,

“Hers?” You gestured to the bracelet and she nodded.

“You’ve got a good eye.” She practically smirked and you laughed softly before following her back to the car.

*

The rest of the afternoon was spent examining previous crime scenes, or doing so through photos and reports, visiting the medical examiner’s office and finally making a pit stop at the local pd’s office. You poured over photos there, looking through the files Morgan and Reid had left for you, along with statements JJ had emailed over. The sun was long gone from the sky by the time you and Emily were finally pulling up to the hotel, parking and grabbing your bags before heading into the lobby. Rossi was waiting for you, tossing a key in Emily’s direction, and old school keychain on it that had the room number embezzled on it.

“I don’t get one.” You half joked and Rossi laughed.

“You two were the last here, you’re bunking up.” He shrugged, clapping Emily on the shoulder, “can’t pull that chief card every trip.” She rolled her eyes, swatting her hand in his direction as he made his way out the front door.

“C’mon.” She nudged at your elbow, nodding in the direction of your room number, wandering through the halls until you found it. She let out a breath when the door swung open to reveal two beds, thankful she wouldn’t have to be that up in your space tonight. “I need a shower.” She grumbled, dumping her bag on the bed farthest from the door.

“Go for it.” You sighed in return, flashing her a small smile before kicking off your shoes, dropping yourself onto the other bed letting out a groan.

Emily grabbed a couple of things from her bag before slipping into the bathroom, making sure the door was locked behind her. She had to admit, so far things seemed to be going good, there wasn’t any awkwardness lingering in the air, despite the back of her brain wanting to invite you into the shower with her, you’d both managed to keep what happened between you from coming up again. She flicked the water on, giving it time to adjust to her preferred temperature while she stripped down and stepped into it.  She took the time to relax, to try and turn off the profiler part of her brain for at least a couple of hours before going to bed. She had almost forgotten where she was, her mind drifting to that first night spent with you, her hand slipping lower on her body when she heard the television spring to life in the other room and her eyes snapped open.

“Fuck…” she muttered, shaking her head, “get yourself together Prentiss.”

*

On the other side of the door your head tilted up at what you thought was Emily talking, wondering if this was one of those hotels who stored their towels outside the bathroom or something. But after a moment of silence you figured you must’ve heard something from the hallway instead. Dropping back onto the bed you did your best to distract yourself, scrolling through your phone, it was purely out of instinct you’d left the tv on the late night news channel, you almost always had it going to see what they were reporting on versus what you were working on.

Your eyes drifted toward the bathroom again, listening to the sound of the water running, wondering how long Emily usually showered for. Your only hope of relief after spending all fucking day with her was once you’d gotten to the hotel; however this was far less private than you’d been hoping for. You thought about it for all of two more seconds before you realized that it was a terrible idea, if you were going to you should at least wait until you were the one behind the locked door.

*

Emily turned off the water, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around her as she used a smaller one to somewhat dry her hair. She’d washed her face in the shower, smoothing on overnight cream and drying herself off. Since you were in the room she figured she’d get dressed in the bathroom, tossing the used towel over one of the racks before finally opening the door and wandering back into the hotel room. Her eyes moved between the tv playing the news and you sitting on your bed with your iPad on your lap, she knew by the way your lip was tugged into your mouth that you were still working. At the very least you’d changed into comfier clothes, a cute pair of glasses on your face as you worked.

“Didn’t realize you wore glasses.” She greeted and you glanced up at her.

“Hmm?” You replied before you’d properly digested what she’d said, “oh! Pen suggested them, they’re for the blue light, supposed to help with eye tiredness and headaches and shit.”

“You get a lot of those?” She asked, picking through amenities on the coffee table.

“They can get pretty bad from time to time.” You let out a soft sigh, “especially with the constant travelling. I’m still pretty used to Florida so anywhere particularly dry or cold makes it worse. Part of why I liked Florida so much, cold aggravates the ribs, never really heal properly those things.”

“Don’t I know it.” She chuckled softly, her fingers moving from the caddy of coffee pods over to the basket of snacks. “Injury in the field?”

“Cheer camp.” You admitted and she turned to you with a laugh, a wide smile on her face.

“What?” She laughed, the smile wide enough her eyes crinkled in an incredibly adorable way, “you were a cheerleader?”

“Scholarship covered university.” You simply shrugged in response, smile on your cheeks.  

“You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” She teased with a grin as you laughed, turning back to your iPad. She let out a small sigh, chucking a pack of peanuts down onto the table, “I’m gonna go grab some food, you wanna come?”

“Nah.” You mumbled, not glancing up from the screen as she pulled on a jacket, picking up her wallet.

“You better not be overworking yourself.” She warned and you rolled your eyes.

“You know when you’ve got two dots and you just can’t seem to connect them but you just know that they’re related.”

“Okay, okay.” She held up a hand in defeat, “we’ve all been there. Can I at least get you something?”

“Where’re you going?”

“Dunno.” She shrugged, “saw a diner up the road that was still open, figured it’s twenty four hours.”

“Yeah.” You let out a small sigh, leaning over on the bed to grab some cash out of your wallet, “just like a sandwich or something, I’m not picky.”

“You sure?” She asked, tucking the cash into her pocket.

“Oh!” Your face nearly lit up, “don’t ask me why but I have had the worst hankering for mozzarella sticks.” You grabbed your wallet again, digging out some more cash to hand to her while she laughed.

“What are you, eighty?”

“What?” You laughed back while she took the cash and shook her head,

“Hankering? I’d expect that from Rossi but not you.”

“Now you’re just being mean.” You feigned offence and she chuckled softly, moving toward the door as you returned your attention to your work. The news on the tv took a turn, covering the open case you were working and it caught Emily’s attention for a moment as she stalled right by the door.

“Hey…” she began softly, “how did you know to even check under that ship thing?”

“Park by my house has the same structure.” You muttered in response.

“You spend a lot of time at the playground or are you hiding some secret kids on us?” She raised a brow and it was your turn to bark a laugh.

“Em… you’ve been to my house.”

“I wasn’t exactly given the grand tour.” She nearly smirked back and you felt your cheeks heat.

“You’re telling me an FBI profiler isn’t at least tempted to snoop a bit on their way out?” You grinned across at her, “and no, I babysat for JJ, the boys loved that ship. I had a fucking heart attack when I thought I’d lost them but they were just underneath the ship, called it their own private fort.”

“Hmm…” She nodded with a small smile, a blooming within her at the thought of you out with the team outside of the office, partaking in non work activities. She was glad, it was important to form those kind of relationships, to have those bonds so you weren’t constantly buried in work and lost in the darkness that was the world of unsubs. The thought crossed her mind and she glanced back up at you, “hey…” that caught your attention and you looked up, “if you’re going to keep working would you at least turn on something a little bit more lighthearted?” She gestured to the television and you held back an eye roll, “that’s an order from your superior, you know that right?”

She smirked as you bit back a grin, reaching for the remote and flicking through a few channels until you found some late night South Park, glancing back to her with a raised brow in the way that you were asking if that was substantial. She nodded with a soft smile before slipping through the door, making sure it was closed behind her before making her way to the car.

You felt an overwhelming sensation of warmth and comfortability as you settled against the headboard. Perhaps attempting to avoid each other was the wrong move, after all, you hadn’t exactly spent much time talking the night you’d met, maybe this was the route you were meant to go after all.  

_____________

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#emily prentiss #emily prentiss x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #a dangerous game #emily prentiss series

[inawickedlittletown]

And I've Been A Fool and I've Been Blind

Notes: And I am back with another fic. I was really interested in exploring Eddie's perspective a little because I couldn't get it out of my head what Buck's phone call to Eddie would be like with Buck still in the midst of discovering himself and so this happened.

Title from Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine.

Summary: Looking back at the last two weeks made Eddie feel bad. It’s not that he hadn’t noticed Buck acting a little strange, it was just that Buck was Buck and he wasn’t normal about things and sometimes it was better to just let it play out.

-

Or Eddie's pov after the basketball game and the days and weeks that follow while oblivious to Buck and Tommy dating.

Pairing: pre-Buck/Eddie, Buck/Tommy, Eddie/Marisol

Words: 3,977

On Ao3

-

Looking back at the last two weeks made Eddie feel bad. It’s not that he hadn’t noticed Buck acting a little strange, it was just that Buck was Buck and he wasn’t normal about things and sometimes it was better to just let it play out. 

Not to mention that Eddie had just been excited about hanging out with Tommy. He couldn’t remember ever finding someone that he had so much in common with before. Buck was his best friend and there was no denying how well they got on, but with Tommy it was about all the things that Buck didn’t understand. It was almost like back with his friends from the army, but even more. 

On the ship, he and Tommy had gotten to talking and Tommy had been in the army like Eddie and he was into MMA fighting. It hadn’t taken very long for them to make plans, first a night out for drinks and then Tommy was hooking him up with a ticket to a fight in Vegas. They did muay thai together one afternoon and when Eddie asked him about a pick-up basketball game, Tommy was excited about it. At some point they even got to talking about cars. They just clicked and Eddie hadn’t had a friend like this in ages. 

Maybe he hadn’t realized just how much time Tommy was monopolizing. It was just that after Eddie called him up and they went to Vegas, they just kept texting and calling and making plans and Eddie couldn’t say no. Even Marisol had been a little annoyed after Eddie had called her for a third time with the intent of asking her to babysit so he could go out with Tommy. He should have realized sooner. Maybe included Buck. 

Selfishly, though, Eddie had wanted to hang out with Tommy on his own. Maybe that made him a bad friend. He definitely should have known something was up when Buck showed up for the basketball game. It was just that he’d been a little annoyed when Chim claimed to have convinced Buck to go when Buck always turned him down. 

So, in some ways he only had himself to blame. His ankle had been the final victim. 

At the moment his leg was elevated, wrapped up to minimize movement and the ice pack was off it. Eddie had chosen his couch as the place to be for the time being. It was a minor sprain and he’d be good to go back to work in a couple of days. Bobby had pushed for Monday so Eddie got a bit more rest and Eddie didn’t argue. 

Tommy made sure he had everything he could need. His pain meds, snacks, even a blanket. He’d even helped Chris out with some math homework. 

“I think I’m to blame for all of this,” Tommy said as he set down a few water bottles on the coffee table. “I think I came between the two of you.” 

Eddie was quick to shake his head. “No. No. It’s on me. I should have known something was up when he showed up to basketball. He’s not a fan.” 

“No?” Tommy asked. “I just thought he was a sore loser.” 

“Well that too,” Eddie said with a chuckle. “But no, it’s just Buck. I don’t think he’s learned how to share yet. I’m surprised he didn’t show up here or call, actually.”

“I kinda jumped in to take you to urgent care,” Tommy said. “Maybe I am the problem.” 

“You’re not,” Eddie said. “I just have to learn to manage my time right.” 

Tommy nodded, lips pressed together. “He probably hates me now.” 

“That’s not Buck. He couldn’t hate anyone if he tried.” 

He saw Tommy take a glance at his phone. “You know what, I can’t go to work without trying to fix this. I have just enough time. Text me his address. I’ll go talk to him and give him an update on the patient.” 

Eddie watched him go. He wondered if he should give Buck a call as a warning, but he decided against it. Buck would have called if he wanted to hear from Eddie. Maybe it was better to let Tommy and Buck talk it out first.  

—

When Buck called, it was almost midnight. Eddie had made it off the couch to the bathroom and then into bed. His ankle twinged a bit from all the movement, but the pain meds were still working and he had his next dosage ready to take him through the night. A part of him regretted not asking Marisol to come over and help him out, but maybe a part of him had been hoping that Buck would show up and hadn’t wanted her around if that did happen. 

“He calls,” Eddie said. 

Buck let out a weak chuckle. “Yeah,” he said, “look, Eddie, I’m sorry. I was…well, I was behaving horribly.” 

“You don’t say,” Eddie said and let that linger. “I’m sorry, too, Buck. I didn’t even realize how left out you were feeling.”  

“I could have said something,” Buck said. “How’s your ankle? I really do feel bad about that.” 

“It’s gonna put me off trying to get you to go to basketball. Just a sprain, Buck. I’ll be back to work in no time.”

“Good. That’s good,” Buck said. “I’m glad it wasn’t anything worse.” 

“Oh, hey, did Tommy catch you? He said he was gonna stop by to clear the air. He felt really bad.”

“Um,” Buck said and then, “yeah…he was here.” 

Buck sounded a little weird. Was it because Tommy had showed up unexpectedly? Should Eddie have warned him it was going to happen? He had thought that Buck liked Tommy well enough, but maybe this whole thing had made Buck want nothing to do with Tommy instead and that was a shame because he knew for a fact that they would get along. 

“Did it go okay?” Eddie asked. 

Buck coughed. “Yeah…yeah, it went…it went fine. Tommy’s great. I really — he’s going to give me flying lessons.” 

“Oh. Okay. Good,” Eddie said, even while trying to figure out why Buck was stuttering a little and talking too fast all at once. “He really is a good guy, you know?” 

“I know,” Buck said. “Look, I should get to bed. One of us has a shift tomorrow morning.”

“Sure,” Eddie said and before he could ask if Buck wanted to hang out after his shift, Buck had already hung up. 

Putting his phone on his bedside table, Eddie leaned back against his pillow. That had been strange, right? It wasn’t that he and Buck talked on the phone a lot — they saw each other in person too often for them to call each other. Sometimes they texted, but that was usually Buck sending him random facts or memes. Except that they hadn’t seen each other outside of work for two weeks and there was plenty they had probably missed in each other’s lives. 

Eddie let out a sigh. He took his medication and settled himself into a comfortable position. He’d call or text Buck in the morning. 

—

He spent most of his day in the living room. Carla had made her appearance to take Christopher to school, and then returned to help Eddie despite his protests that he could walk. She didn’t want to hear any of it, and Eddie decided to stop complaining. 

He heard from Marisol around lunch time and because he felt bad about not seeing her and putting her off coming over, he asked if she wanted to get dinner on Saturday. She readily agreed.

Tommy called a little after. “How’s the ankle?” 

“Alright.”

“And Buck called you? He thought you were mad about the whole thing.” 

Eddie allowed himself a smile. “He did. I think we’re good.” 

“Good. Well, I just wanted to check in. I’ll talk to you soon, Eddie.” 

And then he was gone. Eddie dropped his phone on his chest. He picked it up again when he remembered that he’d meant to text Buck. 

Hey, you want to come over after work? Video games and pizza? 

Buck didn’t respond, but Eddie didn’t expect him to unless there was some downtime at the firehouse. He busied himself for a while trying to find something to watch, finally landing on that lawyer show from years ago that had blown up. By the time that Christopher was home, Eddie was a few episodes in and he was oddly compelled to keep watching. 

Sorry. I made plans with Maddie earlier. Another time. 

Eddie felt disappointed. A part of him couldn’t help but think about how often Buck had probably felt like that while Eddie was busy with Tommy. 

—

Marisol looked beautiful. It wasn’t what had attracted Eddie to her, as much as how after seeing her in the hardware store he’d felt like seeing her again. There hadn’t been anyone that caught his attention like that in a while. It was easy going, their relationship. Not casual, or anything, but not exactly serious either. The pacing was everything that Eddie needed, it was entirely unlike his relationship with Ana. He liked what they had and maybe it wasn’t forever, but it was enough. 

Marisol stood next to him as the hostess grabbed menus to show them to their table. They hadn’t made it too far, when Eddie spotted a familiar face. 

“Tommy! Hey!” 

Tommy threw him a large smile. “Hey!” 

Eddie and Marisol approached the table, just as Eddie realized who was with Tommy. “Buck! You guys are here together!” 

Buck looked startled. Tommy smiled easily. 

“Figured it was time we hung out,” Tommy said. 

“Uh. Yeah,” Buck offered, but he didn’t look at Eddie. 

“Well, we can join you guys,” Eddie said. “It’ll be fun.” 

“Eddie, I don’t think—” Marisol began. 

“No, no, it’s fine. I’m just so glad to see the two of you together. And you can meet Tommy properly.” 

Eddie had to move the table over on his own, neither Tommy or Buck standing to help him while Marisol watched and the hostess moved a chair. Eddie wound up sitting next to Tommy with Marisol across from him. He smiled at her and she smiled back. 

“Tommy, this is Marisol.”

“Ah, yes, the girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you, and I should apologize for taking up so much of Eddie’s time.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Marisol said. 

“I’m going to the bathroom,” Buck announced, standing up so quickly he almost knocked over his chair. 

“Is he okay?” Marisol asked. “Seems kinda jumpy.” 

Eddie was putting the behavior off the feeling awkward about not inviting Eddie along to hanging out with Tommy after how the last two weeks had gone. Tommy, however, stood up. 

“I’m gonna check on him,” he said. 

That, however, felt weird. Except that it was the type of guy that Tommy was. He was nice and he cared. Maybe Eddie should have been the one to go after Buck, but Eddie wouldn’t have thought to do that. He would have let Buck have his moment. 

Buck and Tommy were gone so long that Eddie and Marisol managed to look at their menus and put in their orders. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have asked to join them,” Marisol said.

Eddie shook his head. “What are you talking about?” 

“I don’t know, I just don’t think Buck was happy to see us. Maybe we’re interrupting something.” 

She said “us”, but Eddie thought she actually meant “you”. That wasn’t possible, though, Buck was always glad to see him, wasn’t he? Except that since he’d gotten injured, Eddie hadn’t seen Buck and the one phone call had been kept short and then he hadn’t wanted to hang out with Eddie the next night. 

“I think it’s fine,” Eddie said. 

Buck and Tommy came back together. They were talking as they walked back to the table and Buck was smiling as Tommy said something, breaking into a laugh. 

“Sorry we were gone so long,” Tommy said. 

“We ran into Lucy,” Buck added as he sat down. 

“She’s jealous I got to fly you guys out to save Bobby and Athena,” Tommy said. 

“I’m glad it was you,” Buck said. “Fake mouth statics and all.” 

Tommy’s grin was wide and he stared at Buck for a long moment. Eddie watched them as their eye contact finally broke and Buck quickly grabbed his beer and drank a large gulp. His cheeks were tinged pink. 

“How’s the ankle doing?” Tommy asked, facing Eddie.

“Good. I’ll be back at work on Monday. Has it been alright without me?”

Buck shrugged. “Nothing crazy.” 

“Personally I think everything you guys do is a bit crazy,” Marisol said. 

When his and Marisol’s food came, the same waitress took Buck and Tommy’s empty plates. Clearing the table and leaving a dessert menu behind. 

“Did you want anything, Evan?” Tommy asked Buck. 

“Ah. No. I’m — I think I’m good.” 

“Alright. But I think I want some tiramisu for later.”

Buck smiled in Tommy’s direction, and then turned to Eddie and Marisol. 

“Hey, who’s watching Christopher tonight?” Buck asked. 

“He’s actually at a sleepover,” Eddie said. 

The more his kid grew up and the more independent he became, the less time that he spent at home or that he needed Eddie. In some ways, he was glad that his son was getting to be so well adjusted. Sometimes he did miss when Christopher was younger, and yet there was a lot to be said about watching him grow up. 

“Did Eddie tell you I had to talk to Christopher about his dating life,” Buck said to Tommy.

Tommy shook his head. “No. That’s hilarious. Eddie, you couldn’t handle it yourself?” 

Marisol giggled. “Well, Chris had a video game date and then later, Eddie caught him facetiming a different girl.” 

“What?” Tommy asked with a grin. 

“Yeah,” Eddie said. “What was it…he was texting five different girls. I figured with Buck’s past, he’d handle it better.”

“Evan’s past?” Tommy asked, eyebrows raised. 

Buck’s eyes widened. “Oh. I…I guess back in the day I—”

The waitress interrupted and Buck jumped at ordering Tommy’s tiramisu and then asking for the check. 

“Well I just thought Buck had more experience in that department,” Eddie said. “I got married right out of high school and between the army and Christopher it’s not like I really dated or anything.”

“Ah,” Tommy said and then looking to Buck, “well, I’m sure you gave good advice.” 

When the check arrived, Tommy reached for it first, but Buck tried to grab it instead. 

“I’m the one that owed you a beer,” Buck said. 

“This was more than a beer, Evan.” 

“But—”

They had a kind of stare down, until Buck relented, but Eddie thought that he was pleased. 

Eddie had the thought that when he and Tommy had hung out they had split everything. Same with any time Buck and Eddie had dinner or lunch together. He watched Tommy stick his credit card in the slot. It didn’t take long for the waitress to come back to pick it up and when she returned it was with a small take out bag handed to Buck.

“Well, I think Evan and I are heading out,” Tommy said. 

Eddie almost wanted to protest and keep them there a bit longer. 

Buck nodded and he was on his feet pretty quickly. “Nice to see you again,” Buck said to Marisol. “See you on Monday, Eddie.” 

“Bye, Eddie, we’ll hang soon,” Tommy said, lifting his first for Eddie to pound and giving a nod to Marisol. 

They didn’t wait for a response. Buck walked in front of Tommy and Eddie couldn’t help but notice that Tommy pressed a hand to Buck’s shoulder and that his hand then fell down to the small of Buck’s back. And then Buck turned his face, smiled at Tommy and they continued to the door. 

“Was Buck acting a little off?” Eddie asked. 

Marisol shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know, Eddie.”

He had been. Eddie was sure of it. 

—

On Monday, he arrived at the station just in time to see Hen throw her arms around Buck. The hug didn’t last long and after a pat on the cheek, Hen left Buck where he was standing. Buck looked after her with a starstruck look and a slow smile that grew into place.

“What was that about?” Eddie asked. 

Buck’s eyes widened and his mouth gaped open, smile disappearing. “Oh, um, nothing.” 

Eddie didn’t press. If it was something, Buck would tell him. He did catch Hen and Buck talking again. At one point, it also looked like Buck and Bobby were having a serious conversation. It felt weird to not be in the loop. 

Things fell back into normalcy, though. Buck was still right there next to him for every call. Bobby called the shots while the rest of them listened. If Buck sometimes pulled out his phone to send a text and he had a strange look whenever a text came through, that was his business. 

“You doing anything after work tonight?” Eddie asked a few hours before their shift ended. 

“Actually, yes,” Buck said. “Tommy was talking about this exhibit and I said I’d go with him.”

“Oh,” Eddie said. 

He waited for Buck to ask him to go along, but that didn’t happen. And that was unusual for Buck. Buck always invited him along to things, unless his plans happened to be a date and this wasn’t that. 

“We can hang out tomorrow,” Buck offered. 

“Sure,” Eddie said even though it meant he’d have to move plans with Marisol. He hoped she wouldn’t mind. 

—

The next day, Eddie arrived at the station just in time to see Buck get out of Tommy’s car. 

“Something wrong with the Jeep?” Eddie asked as he approached. 

“No,” Buck said and he looked a little nervous. “Just…I was with Tommy and it was faster if he dropped me off here.” 

There was something that Eddie was missing and as Buck walked away, Eddie felt like he needed to get to the bottom of it. For the rest of the day, he watched Buck closely. He didn’t act like anything was different, instead he seemed lighter. Happier. He was still texting and laughing a lot. 

At the end of their shift, Buck got into Eddie’s car. He was sending a text, but turned to Eddie. 

“Should I order food?” 

Everything seemed normal. Buck called in their usual pizza order. They stopped to pick up some beer. By the time they were settled on Eddie’s couch, Christopher joining them, it felt like everything was normal. The only abnormal thing was how often Buck got a text. 

“Who are you texting so much?”

“It’s…it’s Tommy.” 

“Oh,” Eddie said, but noticed afterwards that the frequency of the texts stopped. 

But when Eddie offered to drive Buck home, Buck shook his head. “My car’s at Tommy’s apartment so he said he’d pick me up so I could get it.”

“You guys are spending a lot of time together,” Eddie said. 

“He’s a cool guy,” Buck said. 

“I’m aware. We should all hang out soon.”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

“Not basketball,” Eddie added.

Buck laughed. 

—

It took another week for things to get stranger. There was the day that Tommy showed up at the 118, sticking around for lunch and sitting next to Buck, the two of them seeming way closer than Eddie had expected and talking about a movie they’d caught and how Buck was horrible at Karaoke. How at one point, Hen had pulled Tommy off to the side and they had come back smiling. And then Buck walked him down and out of the firehouse when he was headed out and didn’t come back for almost ten minutes. Twice more, Tommy dropped Buck off at work. One of those times, he also picked him up. 

The week after that, Eddie finally found a night for the three of them to go out for some drinks. Eddie found himself on his own at one side of the table, watching Buck and Tommy with their shoulders pressed together. Tommy’s arm had wound up behind Buck’s chair at one point and Buck just leaned back without question. It was the night Eddie realized they were spending a whole lot more time together than he realized. That they even had inside jokes. 

Buck had replaced him with Tommy as his best friend and that night when he got home, a little buzzed from the shots and beer they’d drunk, he found himself hating Tommy…except that he really couldn’t. 

Then, it came to a head, the night that he and Christopher headed over to Buck’s for pizza and video games. When Buck answered the door, he was just shrugging on his t-shirt and as he and Chris headed in, Buck’s bathroom opened and Tommy stepped out. 

“If it isn’t the coolest kid,” Tommy said with a grin directed at Christopher. 

The two of them had met all of twice, but Chris was very much a fan of Tommy. 

“I didn’t know Tommy was gonna be here,” Eddie said. 

“Oh, I’m heading out. I got a shift.”

Eddie was weirded out by how pleased he was that Tommy wasn’t sticking around. He’d actually just seen Tommy the day before and everything was fine between them, it was just that the three of them together somehow always ended up being TommyandBuck with Eddie as some kind of third wheel. It was strange and didn’t make sense. 

“I’ll walk you out,” Buck said. 

It seemed unnecessary to Eddie, but Buck walked Tommy to the door and the two of them stepped out. Buck returned several minutes later, smiling a bit. Eddie couldn’t help but stare at him. Something was definitely different. 

“What?” Buck asked. 

“I should be asking you that.” 

Buck’s shoulders drooped. “Yeah, okay. There is…I’m…that is…”

Buck was nervous. He was rubbing his neck and not looking right at Eddie. 

“Whatever it is, Buck, you can tell me.” 

Buck did that thing when he was unsure, laughing a bit breathy. “I thought out of everyone, you’d just figure it out. That I wouldn’t have to say it.”

“Say what?” Eddie asked. 

“Tommy and I are dating. I’m bisexual, Eddie.”

Eddie’s entire world changed. 

“The other night,” he said, “that was…that was a date.” 

“Yeah.” 

Buck’s behavior, the way that he and Tommy were spending all their time together. Tommy driving Buck to work. Tommy picking up Buck from Eddie’s. Tommy at Buck’s apartment. The inside jokes. The change in Buck’s demeanor. All of it was adding up and Buck was staring at him, biting his lip. Eddie reached out to him, hands landing on Buck’s shoulders. 

“I’m happy for you, Buck. You know this doesn’t change anything, right?” 

Buck let out a breath. “Right.” 

Internally, Eddie didn’t know what to do with the information. Buck was bi. He was into men. He and Tommy were dating. He could settle on being supportive, he could settle on showing Buck how nothing changed between them because of it. Later, he would deal with his own confusing feelings because while Buck looked like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Eddie felt like he’d been saddled with it. 

“Come on, video games?” Eddie asked and he hoped his voice didn’t sound strange. 

Buck smiled. “I’ll get us a couple of beers.” 

As he walked to Buck’s living room, aware that Christopher had already turned everything on, he tried his best to act normal. He didn’t know if Buck wanted to discuss it and he didn’t want to cross any lines. This was all just new. It was different. Eddie would get used to it. He had to. 

#911 abc #911 fic #eddie diaz #911 fox #buddie #bucktommy

[smninthisworldd]

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Babysitter next door ; König x fem!OC ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

i am so incredibly sorry it took me this long to post, but i promise i’m here… i’ve always been here 😽

❝SUMMARY OF CHAP 5: A month after Ella’s big day, König and Jasmine end up being closer than ever. But then, things turn cold between them… until things get better. A lot better…❞

w.c: 3000 ; part 5/?

PREVIOUS CHAPTER MASTERLIST

A month had passed since Ella’s birthday. König stayed with his daughter for a whole week, taking her to car trips and luna parks, to the beach and to her favorite fast foods. He won Ella many plushies awards for winning at numerous luna park arcades and games, and she couldn’t be happier to take those home as a beautiful memory of that week.

But all good things eventually come to an end. When it was time for König to leave for work, Jasmine offered to babysit her again, not wanting the little girl to be alone. And Ella didn’t want to stay with her grandparents, so she was glad she could stay with Jas.

König was also very pleased to see their bond getting stronger and stronger, and when Ella was happy, he was happy.

He regularly came home at two-week intervals during that month, from Friday to Sunday. And he would leave again on Monday, stay two weeks away and return home next Friday.

Until he finally got his 30 days off in August. Military service members earn 30 days of paid leave per year, and König finally got his.

He returned home on a Tuesday, late at night. The apartment lights were off, and it was very silent. He assumed Ella and Jas were both sleeping, so he walked carefully in the apartment although his combat boots made loud thuds with every step.

He took off his vest and placed his suitcases near the couch, and he would’ve expected to find Jasmine sleeping there, but she wasn’t. He immediately panicked a little bit, wondering where she was and why she wasn’t there.

König then walked into Ella’s room to check on her only to find her sleeping like an angel. He smiled at the sight, and closed the door refusing to disturb her sleep.

His shirt was the next thing to come off, as it was all sweaty and dirty - he needed a shower. When he reached his bedroom, he found Jasmine in his bed, reading a book. Hair tied up, glasses on. And she was wearing one of his shirts.

König smirked at the sight, raising his eyebrows slightly. «Jas.» he greeted her, his lips curling into a smile.

She blushed heavily seeing him shirtless, and she felt guilty for being in his bed, wearing his shirt. «König! I’m sorry I grabbed one of your shirts, I…»

«No problem, Jas. Don’t worry.» König interrupted her, smiling. «You can wear any of my shirts wherever you want, as long as they fit you comfortably.»

Jasmine closed the book and smiled at him as if to say “thank you.” Instead, she asked: «How are you?»

«Tired.» he replied, his back now facing her while he grabbed some clean sweatpants, underwear and a towel. That back. That sculpted, muscular back. His muscles flexing with each movement, even the slightest one. And Jasmine couldn’t stop admiring him. «But I desperately need a shower.»

«Oh… about that…» she started, causing König to look at her from over his shoulder. «I don’t know why, but water doesn’t flow in your bathroom. Ella and I had to shower in my apartment, so… I guess you, uhm… you’ll have to use my shower, too.»

König chuckled, facing her now. «I’ll have that checked as soon as possible.» He walked toward his bedroom door, and gestured Jasmine to follow him. She obliged immediately, and they both exited his apartment.

«Will Ella be okay? She’s sleeping alone…» Jasmine worried.

«She’s deeply sleeping.» König locked the door to his apartment. «And I’ll be right next door.»

Meanwhile, Jasmine opened her apartment’s door and walked in, followed by König. She gulped nervously, placing her keys on the table and turning to look at him, while nervously leaning on the table as he took his boots off. «Go ahead, you know where the bathroom is.» she said, forcing herself to sound as calm and relaxed as possible.

König looked down at her and smiled, extending his veiny arm to leave his own keys there. In doing so, his body leaned closer to Jasmine’s and his arm nearly touched her waist. «Thank you, Jas.» he whispered, before walking toward her bathroom.

She remained there for a moment, trying to process what just happened. She sighed deeply, heavily blushing; her heart was pounding in her chest and her skin nearly shivered. Just the mere, simple thought of König touching her waist, even as a mistake, drove her crazy. Jas took a seat at the table, sighing again as she waited for König to exit the bathroom.

In the meantime, König entered Jasmine’s bathroom and was immediately overwhelmed by the amazing and delicious yet subtle scent of the room: vanilla, honey and chocolate. He could also smell coconut and amber, too. And it all was because of her perfumes, elegantly placed on some wall shelves near the large mirror, along with Jasmine’s hair products and skincare. Her bathroom was so clean and elegant, just like the rest of her apartment. Just like her.

König closed his eyes and inhaled the sweet and enveloping scent of her, and smiled. He took off his pants and underwear and walked into the shower, and all of Jasmine’s shower gels, scrubs and shampoos smelled so much he was tempted to try everything.

But he decided to use just a little bit of some vanilla body wash, from the largest bottle. Just so it won’t be too much of a waste. As he rubbed in on his body, he could smell Jasmine. It smelled exactly like her. König’s eyes closed, and he massaged the fragranced shower gel all over himself, losing his mind over the smell of the woman he’d been fantasizing about for the last months.

He knew he had to make a move. To let her know that he liked her. Was he shy? Scared? Afraid of her rejection? He didn’t even know. Maybe all of the above. But maybe… maybe this was his chance. Maybe he could make his move that night. The silence of the night and the fact they were alone in Jasmine’s apartment gave him an immediate boost of courage and confidence.

König ran his hands through his hair to clear his thoughts - although his mind couldn’t stop thinking about Jasmine - and rinsed off the excess bubbles that her body wash left on his body with hot water. He got out of the shower and looked at his reflection in the mirror while wiping his body with the towel, and put on his clean grey sweatpants after that.

He then walked back toward the kitchen and saw Jasmine sitting at the table, scrolling through her phone. He smiled and walked behind her, gently caressing her hair as he approached her. «Your bathroom smells really nice. I used a bit of your vanilla shower gel, I hope you don’t mind.»

Jasmine looked up at him as his hand remained in her hair, slowly moving toward the side of her face. «Not at all.» The blush on her face made her look even more attractive and sweet, which König really, really liked.

He liked - no, loved - seeing his partners, in general, blush. Especially when he was the reason. It was a confidence booster for him, and it awakened his more dominant side. He was a very passionate man, a provider. And what he looked for was a more shy and quite submissive partner he could please at all times.

König smirked, carefully caressing Jasmine’s cheek with his thumb. She was looking at him shyly, her face all flustered and her cheeks so warm and red. And he loved it. He sighed loudly, his thumb slowly moving toward her mouth and tracing the outline of her pretty lips, tempting and deliciously soft.

Her sweet eyes, big and shy, looking at him and then looking away, and then at him again and away once more.

«Look at me, Jas.»

That was everything she needed to hear. Everything she wanted to hear. Her eyes went from looking at his sculpted abs and his subtle happy trail to his defined chest and broad shoulders, up to his narrowed eyes, piercing through her.

«Good girl.»

Jasmine panicked. Fucking panicked. A shiver ran down her spine, and her stomach filled with fluttering butterflies. Her hands were sweating, her thighs squeezed together in a desperate attempt to hide and suppress how turned on she was. Where did all this come from? Since when was König like that with her? But… did she mind? Not at all.

König’s thumb stopped on her mouth, while the rest of his hand grabbed her chin gently and tilted it upward. He caressed her bottom lip and softly parted her lips, while he took a deep breath and used his other hand to caress her hair.

Jasmine gulped loudly, closing her eyes for a moment and looking at him as he slowly bent down toward her. His face closer and closer to hers. «Jas…»

«König…» she whispered.

She leaned even closer to his face, not resisting another moment, wanting to feel his lips on hers.

«Papa!»

Ella’s voice. König immediately stepped back and panicked, grabbing his keys and making his way out of Jasmine’s apartment. She followed him, driven by instinct, and wanted to make sure the little girl was okay.

König slammed the door open and ran toward Ella’s room, where he found her crying in her bed. He immediately pulled her into a tight hug and caressed her hair, asking what was going on.

«I had a nightmare…» she replied, to which König answered with a relieved sigh and smile. He looked at Jasmine and smiled softly as she approached Ella to caress her back.

«It’s okay, princess.» König whispered. He turned to Jasmine again, and to his surprise she held the eye contact, due to the tension between them.

They were about to kiss.

At the thought, Jasmine blushed heavily and took a few steps back. She smiled softly at König and waved, mouthing a “Good night”. König smiled and winked, as Jas left his apartment.

The following few days were… weird, to say the least. Jasmine and König didn’t speak that much often anymore, and König was cold whenever they greeted each other.

Jasmine realized it was all because of that kiss they were about to exchange. Maybe it was a mistake for him, she thought. Or maybe it would only make everything more difficult, for Ella too.

Her thoughts were eating her alive, haunting her, until, one evening, she had the response to that.

Both König and Jasmine went out to throw the garbage, and met in the hallway. Jasmine smiled at him and he greeted her with a nod; «Allow me» he then said, picking up Jasmine’s heavy bag.

«Thanks.» Jasmine smiled, heading toward her apartment. But just then, König called out her name and gestured her to follow him.

So she did, and to her relief, they talked the whole time. About trash, yes. But at least now they spoke to each other.

As they headed back to their floor, König gently grabbed Jasmine’s hand and made her look into his eyes. «Can we talk, Jas?»

She looked at him with a bit of a worried expression, given his seriousness all of a sudden, but nodded.

König led her into his apartment and they sat on the couch; «I’m sorry.» he started.

«For what?» she asked, her brows knitting.

König sighed, and looked in her eyes. «For not talking to you after… what happened. I acted like an asshole, and I shouldn’t have treated you like this. I…» he paused, trying to find the right words. «I was afraid you’d refuse me. I still am. But you deserve to know how I feel about you.»

Jasmine’s eyes widened by hearing those words, but she didn’t mouth a word, and wanted to hear what König wanted to tell her.

«From the moment I’ve laid my eyes on you, I liked you. A lot. And it’s not just about your looks, which of course, attract me very much…» he said, with a little smile. «It’s your personality and intelligence that I absolutely adore about you. I love the way you carry yourself and your manners. I love your attitude, even when it’s a lot to handle, and I love your sensitivity. And I love your smile.» he said, gently caressing her cheek as she blushed. «I love seeing you blush like that, and seeing your eyes widen a bit when it happens.»

He paused for a moment, admiring her features before continuing: «Your smile brings a little dimple right here at the end of your lips, which I love.» he lowered his tone, caressing the edge of her smile. He then moved his hand to the side to caress her hair. «And I love how soft your hair is, and how it always smells like vanilla. I could never get enough of this sweet scent of yours.»

Jasmine blushed more, still looking into his eyes and not believing that this was really happening. He lowered his hand near her jawline and his other hand joined, caressing her face as his eyes followed those movements. «I love how beautiful you are, inside out. You’re genuine, sweet and hot headed when tou want to, and I know I want to take care of you, not only as a friend.» he admitted, shyly. «It was difficult for me not speaking to you these days. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea… it only enhanced how much I like you…»

His voice lowered again, and his face crept closer to hers. «…and how bad I want to kiss you.»

Jasmine’s lips parted, and they looked into each other’s eyes for a moment…

Before she grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him into that kiss.

It was gentle, tender. König’s lips were softly pressed against hers, and slowly, he asked permission to use his tongue to deepen it. Jas allowed it, and one of his hands moved to the back of her neck, pulling her even closer.

Jasmine’s back straightened and her hands caressed König’s hair and cheeks, before they pulled apart for a moment, heavy breathing.

«Is this your way of telling me you feel the same?» he asked after a long moment, locking eyes with her.

Jasmine smiled and whispered a «Yes.»; she looked at his lips again, and then around the room. Soon, her expression changed into a worried one. She stood up and blushed heavily. «W-wait… what will Ella think of this?!» she asked, pointing toward her room.

König chuckled and picked her up princess style, sitting back on the couch with her in his lap. «Ella is not even home. She’s sleeping at one of her friends’ house: they’re having a tea party sleepover.» he said, reassuring her a little bit.

«But… we should tell her. She deserves to know.» Jasmine said, her expression still morphed into one of worry. «I… how will she even look at me now?»

«Will you stop worrying about Ella?» König said with a laugh. «She loves you. And I’m sure she will love you even more.»

Meanwhile, Jas placed her head on his shoulder, her cheeks red and warm by thinking about that kiss. It was just unbelievable.

They cuddled like that for some minutes, enjoying each other’s arms and warmth, while König’s hands caressed Jasmine’s sides so softly she was starting to fall asleep in his arms.

«Are you this comfortable around me?» he whispered, kissing her forehead gently. Jasmine answered with a smile and a nod, snuggling as closer as possible, wanting to feel that embrace in her bones.

«Would you be more comfortable in my bed?»

König’s sudden question caught her off guard. She immediately lifted her head, her face bright red. Of course she felt excited about his request… but really? That was what König was thinking about?

König blushed as well, immediately laughing at himself. «Oh, I apologize, it came out absolutely wrong.»

He cleared his throat before rephrasing: «I was thinking… maybe we could sleep together? Only sleep, though, I promise. I wasn’t thinking of anything else.»

Jasmine laughed as he slightly panicked while saying that. She found it adorable how such a grown and fearless man could be so vulnerable and sincere in moments like these.

Blushing, she nodded lightly. «I think I would actually like a cuddle tonight.»

König’s eyes sparkled of joy and he kissed her lips again. This time, it was just a simple, small and gentle kiss, but it made Jasmine turn red once more.

He then picked her up easily and carried her to his room. Of course, it was a particular moment for him and his urges, but he managed to keep calm. For Jas, he would do anything. And especially, he wouldn’t do anything if she wasn’t up to it.

Once there, König sat on his giant bed with her in his arms and gently placed her down beside him. She shyly lifted the covers over her and yelped when König’s strong and massive arm pulled her into a tight hug, her back against his chest.

His other arm slipped under her pillow, and his hand met hers. Slowly and gently, he caressed her hand and locked fingers, holding her tightly to himself while the scent of her hair was invading his nostrils in such a sweet way, he couldn’t get enough of.

~ someoneinthisworldd ; please do not copy.

#konig #konig cod #konig mw2 #konig imagine #könig my beloved #könig fanfiction #könig #konig modern warfare #könig modern warfare #könig call of duty #könig mw2 #könig cod #konig call of duty #könig smut #konig smut #mask kink #hor knee #smut warning #smut imagine #smut writing #smut smut smut #smut fanfiction #i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism #ao3 writer #ao3 author #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #i want him to do unspeakable things to me #i want him to fuck me #i want him to ruin me

[ignoregnome]

steve and eddie get married on the first day of august, 1990. and sure, the government doesn't agree, but steve and eddie have learned by now that the government doesn't really agree with anything they do. so they do it anyway.

on the monday before the wedding, the very end of july, steve is washing the dishes late at night after they come over for dinner. they've all turned nineteen by now, apart from little erica who's still fifteen. but she pulls her weight, and it seems that lucas and his friends respect her as an equal. but seeing the kids he used to babysit growing up is making steve feel a bit old, and he's starting to realise since he turned twenty-four back in april that oh no, he has to be an adult now. like, for real. so as he scrubs off a stubborn stain from one of the plates, he tips his head over his shoulder towards eddie, watching who-knows-what on steve's fancy television set, and says:

“Hey, Eds, you know what?”

eddie replies, “What?”

steve chuckles and turns his head back towards the sink. “We should get married. That would make me feel young again, y'know? Married at 24. It's weird to watch the kids grow up so fast, it makes me feel like a fossil,” he jokes, looking over at eddie again.

and eddie doesn't take his eyes off the tv screen, he just munches on his leftover chicken and mumbles through the food in his mouth, “When do you wanna do it?”

and oh shit, steve didn't think he would get this far. he should have anticipated it, really, with eddie's penchant for taking things literally. and now steve's realising that maybe his proposal wasn't that flippant after all. steve looks at this man spilling chicken crumbs all over his couch, and he thinks oh my god. i want to marry him. so he plays along. “Mmm, sometime soon. Next week okay for you?”

steve almost has a heart attack when eddie makes eye contact, smiles that beautiful smile of his, and says, “Yeah.”

**********************

they don't see each other until the wedding, because uhm... tradition, or something? steve ends up telling robin while he's over at her house and she's baking cinnamon rolls for erica's six-month anniversary with her boyfriend, and she freaks out so hard for so long (“Who proposed?!” “It's complicated.” “Have you written your vows yet?” “No—” “Can I help you??” “Of course, Robs, I—” “Oh my god, where is it happening?” “We haven't decided yet...”) that the rolls come out charred within an inch of their poor, sugary lives. robin lets out a scream that turns into a bit of a retch when she opens the oven and smells them. after disposing of the cinnamony corpses, she grabs steve by the wrist and drags him to her room. as she places steve on the bed with a pat on his shoulders and sitting down herself, she launches into one of her classic rambles:

“Okay, so, here's the plan. Double girls night, today and tomorrow, we write your vows in the morning, we bring over Max and Eleven and Erica and Nancy—”

“Don't you think it would be weird to have my ex at my buck's n—” steve interrupts.

“No. I fuck her better than you ever did.” steve blinks at this, but robin continues. “And besides, I think that you'll find that despite her many, many firearms, Nancy is the least threatening ex in the history of exes. Eddie has nothing to worry about! But hey — don't mention that I told you I think of her that way, okay? She'll get all sulky. Understood?” steve nods vigorously.

Robin claps her hands as she stands up off the bed, and smiles triumphantly. “Okay,” she announces, “let's get going!”

part 2 soon xx

#I have a fucking fever rn so im sincerely sorry if this is written weirdly #stranger things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #inari shrieks #fruity four #steddie ficlet #stranger things fic #the party #gratuitous use of italics #wedding au #robin buckley #ronance #just a teensy bit but there will be more in part 2 x

[popcornforone]

Monday Moods

A Pre-Outbreak Joel Miller Fan Fic

I was struggling what as to what I could write next. You all know I have so many in draft but I had a few people go oooh a new Joel… So here we are posting about Joel before his world fell apart. It’s been a while since I’ve written him. I do have another Joel in draft but I’m just not feeling it at the moment.

Synopsis: Your night shift is over & Sarah is off to school, what can you & Joel do to make this less of a moody Monday.

Word count:2550

Warnings: DO NOT READ IF TOU ARE UNDER THE AGE OF 18! PURE SMUT piv sex, stimulation, licking, nipple sucking, teasing, swearing. Slight age gap but not huge, mentions of loss of virginity. This is also based on Pedros Joel & it is before the events of the show. Basically it’s full on sex.

Thanks as always for the read peoples, it’s always really appreciated. All feedback is always welcome, it’s helps me grow as a writer. Enjoy.

“I hate Mondays” slam the front door goes. Sarah might have marched her way out of the house onto the school bus, but she left part of the Monday mood behind with her. Your night shift means you’re already cranky ready for 4 nights off, before the next shift rotation starts. It’s only the sight of your partner coming downstairs that makes you smile. Not even the decaf coffee has done that.

“Was Sarah mean to you?” Joel asks sounding genuinely concerned that the two of you may have fallen out & it’s not even 8am. You’re not her mum. He can see the glazed eyes staring back at him. They are trying to care & be alive for him, but he can tell you’ve just had it now, they need a rest. He slurps on his orange Juice straight from the carton as he leans on the kitchen counter. His morning hair all over the place, not even brushed.

“You’d hate Mondays too if you had double math at the age of 15” you say with a frown as he drinks. He clocks your stern look. The free hand apologising as he then starts to hunt for a glass.

“Fair point, it’s why they teach them advanced math, isn’t math just enough?”

“Clearly not” you reply slurping your coffee, trying not to smirk at his remark. You want to be tired but not angry when you got to bed in a little while. “How many shifts have you got today?” You genuinely ask your lover with care. You’re slowly becoming a bit more like you.

“Just the two, first one doesn’t start until

Mid-day,so I’ve got time to spend with the other special girl in my life” he says as he comes across to you, kissing up your arm.

You look around.

“I don’t see a special girl in here” you joke letting him pepper you with kisses. A nip here or there, making you shudder.

“Well that’s because all the curtains are pulled & there’s no mirror to reflect your special face back at you” his juice & breakfast are no longer what he had an appetite for. His smile insinuating he wants much more than that.

“Joel? really? now?”

“Yes now or it won’t be til I’m dirty & sweaty tonight” he says. His neck kisses always make you give in. You’ve always been putty in his hands.

“Maybe I prefer you like that”

“I think you do, my specialty is to be as scruffy & rough as you want me”

“Speaking of which baby, your T-shirt’s inside out” you chuckle.

You fling your arms around Joel & your lips meet his. He might be rough & rougged, but those hands that he always has to clean, make you feel like the dirtiest thing of all. At just His touch, you feel like you were 17 again, the age you were when he first asked you to babysit his 4 year old 11 years ago. He still gives you butterflies each time he kisses you, like when you first saw him. A teenager with a fantasy when he would drive you home. You were not the reason for Sarah mum leaving but once you came back from college each summer, it was hard for him to not ignore you. You just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

The kiss breaks & he then stands up & you wrap your legs around him. “I know where this is heading mr miller” you giggle as you bite his ear lobe.

“If you keep biting my earlobe, we won’t even get to bed baby.”

“Well the lounge curtains are still pulled” you raise an eyebrows & Joel reverses into his arm chair before he lowers himself into it. This arm chair is where he watches the big games on a Sunday from. You cook him dinner & then leave for your night shift safe in the knowledge that American football will be the only thing distracting him those nights. His hands even if he wanted them to, don’t wonder else where, only on you.

The rattle of his belt being undone is a noise that always makes you smile. Joel’s never one for foreplay. A few words here & there but if he’s even slightly in the mood, you can guarantee that sex is on its way. You stand up for a few seconds to remove your work trousers & knickers, you wore your pink lace ones to work as a treat for you, but you see the smile creep across Joel’s face when you fling them at him.

“I brought you those last year for Valentine’s Day”

“That you did baby”

“I do believe…” he says as he glides his trousers & his briefs around his ankles & beacons you to come take your seat in his lap again”… that I made you lick yourself out of them that night”

“I would never do that Joel Miller” you exclaim in reply as you smile. It was a wonderful night of love making, thank you to high school for a week long residential trip, so Sarah couldn’t hear the two of you having sex all night. But your mind is back in the present when you see him cock his two fingers at you calling you over . The other hand is leisurely stroking his length looking at you naked from the waist down, wondering just how wet he still makes you. The tip leaking already, as you lick your own bottom lip. You are about to be more than satisfied.

You put your hands on the back of his arm chair & position yourself ready to lower onto his lap & his throbbing meaty cock. When you were still at college & you dated other boys while you were there, none of them had what Joel did, none of them made you scream in pleasure like him either. They all wanted a long blow job, & never finished you off when they’d cum far too soon. You’d had a taste of a manly moody Miller & now it was yours every day if you wanted it. Right now being filled by him is all that’s on your mind. He slowly nudges at your entrance, his length gliding through your arousal. He tuts & shakes his head mischievously.

“I have no idea why I buy lube baby, you’re always so wet for me darling, so eager, so ready” it’s growled from the back of the throat these words as he lowers you into his cock.

“Fuck… me.. Joel” you whimper, as you adjust to his size & the way it stretches you. Your body wanting to cum straight away & make you explode all over him, but you slowly regain your composure. Your eyes filled with desire when you open them & look at the man you love. His eyes light up from seeing your own enjoyment of this moment. The smile across his face is one of desire. Your hands graze across his jaw line. Each prickle of his hair making you want to get lost in your kisses again.

“So tight baby, made for me this pussy, you saved your Cherry for me all those years ago, & im always very grateful for that” Joel lightly slaps your bum which makes you gasp, before his hands go for your hips. They grip on to you ready for you to start to grind & rive on this cock.

“Only you Joel, only you” you gasp as you start moving now you’re comfortable. Your own hands trialing his T-shirt with the other messing up his morning hair even more. He might have had a hair cut recently but it’s still thick & lots to play with. “Your T-shirt is still inside out baby” you groan as you lean in to take his lips again. Succulent & full of love.

Joel’s not bothered. He’s not saying much at all. A few just like that & oh fucks escape when it’s not heavy breathing & panting from him. He’s watching your body roll onto him. Showing your pelvis work, wondering how he got so lucky to have you & that a girl like you would be bothered by him at all, especially when they were younger. Desire takes over him & his lips leave your mouth & the kisses pepper your own jaw line making you whine more. Your body grinding down on his cock more, enjoying all the pleasure he is providing as you drag him through your walls. But your moans get louder. One simple lick up your neck as he tastes your sweat send your body into convulsions of pleasure. A tongue that often satisfies you by lapping at your cunt for hours is now gliding up you neck.

“J…J…Joel…” it’s a groan, it’s deep & it’s filled with lust as he starts his next neck lick, your bodies nerves driven into override. It has him gasping before he licks down your neck & starts to suck the crook of your neck before he kisses your collar & shoulder. You clamp around him & he hisses, the excitement building up inside him as well.

“Ooh my love” Joel is in charge & is admiring how well you take his firm thrusts. Each one firmer, more fervent, faster & becoming more frenzied. He’s lost in your body, He finally removes your top from the hem upwards over your head, your hair still tied up. His head straight away burys into your cleavage the bra makes, as you unhook in from the back for him. You cry out once your breasts are free as he take your nipple into his mouth sucking it, like he would an ice pop. Your hand goes to your clit, furiously after friction, feeling insane that your man makes you want to do everything with him still after all these years.

“Yes Joel, yes” you moan “don’t stop, don’t stop, never stop” you’re losing control as you grip onto his arm. “Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck”. His mouth might be occupied with your breasts moving onto the next one, but he’s pulsing more, getting even harder, holding you so tight. Your body bouncing, feeling his penis get harder if that was possible as it hits that spot inside you, the one that when he finds it shocks your system. Makes you bounce more. Makes your hands grip around whatever they are on. He briefly comes away from your chest to growl.

“Fuck year baby” it’s deep & longing his words before he latches back into your tit. Like all men Joel enjoys all types of sex, but there is something about sucking your nipples & teasing your breasts that Joel adores. They aren’t the biggest breasts in the world, but they are more than a handful. & if someone held a gun to Joel’s head & asked what was his ultimate turn on he would say his head buried in your chest. You may not have any kids of your own but you know any you & Joel might one day have will not offer the satisfaction or feeling that this man’s lips do as they suck at your erect nipples. It makes you get lost in your own mind as your body crushes him & pushes him back into the arm chair even more.

“God Joel fuck”

“Oooh baby”

“Joel… Joel… fuck yes yes yes”

“Come on daring”

“Ooooh fuck”

All these word flow out of your mouths as the thrusting reaches its climax & you let go as Joel nibbles your nipple, drenching his penis, your walls fluttering around as they clamp around him, the follow up motion he fills you, breaking away from your breast. His own eyes rolling into the back of his head as he cums. Both of your body’s shaking in desire, longing looks no longer being met by each other. The smell of lust in the air, which the only sound is of you both breathing heavily as you come down from cumming so hard & ferociously.

You eventually rest your head on Joel shoulder, before looking up into his big brown eyes while he strokes your naked back, he is still inside you. You sigh looking at him before you tenderly kiss his lips. He strokes your hair with his spare hand.

“Joel?”

“Yes my darling?”

You giggle “your T-shirts now not only very sweaty but inside out still” you smile before you kiss him again.

“Ha” Joel laughs. “Maybe I wanted it that way, so then when I turn it around your sweat that dropped on me will be closer to my skin” he does a mischievous look at you.

“That is disgusting Joel Miller” you scoff & try & look shocked at what he’s said but you can’t hide that this turns you on slightly.

“Well maybe I will go change” he says as he slowly help you off him & makes sure your steady on his feet before he pulls his briefs trouser back up, which we’re still around his ankles. “But I’m not gonna shower, I want to smell of you when I sweat.” Before you can protests he’s put his large thumb over your mouth to silence you “thought you liked me sweaty & dirty?” He says before embracing your lips. His tongue not even asking permission, gliding to meet your own before he then finally removes his tshirt.

Time passes & you have showered & slept while Joel has left for work. You’re in the kitchen backing cookies when Sarah gets home. She looks stressed.

“Is it still a Monday Miller mood?” You ask her as you hear the bag slump down in the hall way.

“Urghhh”comes the cry from Sarah. “Advanced math is hell why do…” she’s interrupted by the smell of you baking cookies. “Are you making…” her head pops around the door frame. She sees your frazzled state. You’re held together by your nap,shower & sex. Your hair is no longer tied up & is frizzy & you are in your baggy shorts & one of Joel’s T-shirts for comfort.

“You know you sounded just like your dad when you started asking about advanced math” you say which makes her laugh.

“& you…” she says as she comes & sits at the counter ready to offer a hand knowing you are making her favourite cookies to get her out of her moody Monday “look like dad, your T-shirts inside out” you hadn’t even noticed the grey top wasn’t on properly.

“Well I guess that means I fit right in” you say as you pass her the bowl to stir.

“That you do”

“That you do” it’s echoed after Sarah said it as Joel is standing in the door way admiring you both getting on. You both turn & smile, before Sarah’s goes to hug her dad. Even at 15 a daughter needs a hug from her dad.

“How is my special girl?” He asks as he stroke Sarah’s hair.”did she have a good Monday?”

“She’s fine” Sarah’s replies & then she smiles at you & winks like her dad does “& im okay too”.

#fanfic #my fics #smutt #pedro pascal #no minors #over18 #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal cinematic universe #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fan fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller #joel tlou #joel x reader #joel the last of us #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fan fiction #hbo the last of us #the last of us #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #hbo tlou #tlou fic #tlou

[radiant-reid]

Beyond Breaking // Chapter Four

False Flags

disclaimer: i'm not an expert on anything regarding divorce so this is just what i could find from the best of my research

Summary: It all feels like a fever dream, but the feelings are very real

Content Warnings: divorce, mention of Spencer’s drug addiction, unprotected penetrative sex

Word Count: 7.0k

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One thing Y/n hated was lawyers.

It was ironic since she was one herself, but they were the most gossipy pack of egomaniacs she had ever known.

Family lawyers were a whole different group. She had successfully avoided getting whispered about at work, but she knew it would be different once it was official.

Everything would be different when things were official.

The fear hadn’t properly hit Y/n until the night before she had to do something she never thought she would be considering, like some sick delayed suffering that waited until she was completely alone with a terrifying calendar event upcoming to strike.

Spencer Reid was her person.

The person she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with was gone. Not in the way the tiny voice in her head said it would be every time he left to hunt down serial killers. He wasn't gone because he was injured or dead. This time he was gone because he wanted to be.

It was something he promised he would never do. Back when he swore he would be home every night he was in DC, the problem was him sleeping in the office during the weeks after Gideon died. What Y/n wouldn't do to have that as their main problem now. She would be able to do the same thing to support him, only if he let her.

As her cheeks grew damper, it became more obvious that Spencer wasn't coming back and that his departure was because he didn't love her. Couldn't. That was the word he used: perfect to deflect all blame off himself.

There was no one she blamed but him, and she hadn't let herself feel that way until she was looking at the framed wedding photo of them- one of the happiest days of their lives- and the text under it; just their names with a heart in the middle. It was sappy, she could admit that, but it was simple. Simple enough that if it wasn't her fault, it was Spencer's fault. What hurt the most was that she would give him every piece of love she had in her body if he let her.

The common denominator in every other argument or tricky situation they'd been in -that wasn't a factor anymore- was that Spencer loved her.

When they loved each other, they could get through anything, and she was still so madly in love with him that she couldn't bring herself to throw out the photo. Spencer in the photo with his wide grin, straight tie, tidy hair, and his eyes only focused on her wasn't the Spencer who was around anymore. There actually wasn't one thing she saw in common between them. Two different people with the same face.

Her sobs were a fraction of how loud they could be because of her determination not to wake up the little Reids. There was no way, at all, that she was going to tell them. The situation was Spencer's fault, so he could be the one to ruin the idea of love that their children had. And she was determined not to feel bad when they eventually hated him for drastically changing their family dynamic.

If he wouldn't love her, she would make sure they did. And when they grew up and saw the thousands of photos they had with their mom, remembered the memories with one of their parents, and asked where their dad was, that would be her revenge.

But Y/n wasn't thinking about that when she was off to the best family lawyer she could find on Monday. She never knew until now, but the FBI seemingly has everyone needed for a divorce on retainer, prepared for the next couple that breaks under the pressure.

Rossi and Krystall had insisted on babysitting the kids at the Reids' house, citing that they didn't want all the differences to add up in their brains. So with kisses on Maddie, Bennett, and Florence's forehead and some pitiful smiles from their babysitters, Y/n was on another stress-inducing drive to another car park she'd never noticed when she drove past.

"Naturally, I'm sure you know how this process works." Amelia Mary Allen, degree of Juris Doctor- according to the framed certificate that hung on the wall above her desk- said.

Y/n nodded her head, the complete emptiness apparent on her face. "Yes, I want to be the petitioner rather than him." She replied. Her experience and the cases she'd heard about made it impossible for her to wait any longer than she needed to file the petition.

She was finished with playing the game on his terms, and she wasn't going to let him file a divorce petition first and get in writing his wishes for who gets the kids, the money, and the houses. 

Even though she loathed the idea of not being his wife, she wasn't going to put herself at a disadvantage for him anymore when there was nothing she could possibly do to make him love her again.

"I understand." Her lawyer replied. "Let's start with the basics; social security number and names." Finally, a not challenging question for Y/n to answer. It wasn't complicated like the ones in her head. "Grounds for divorce?"

For a moment she sat there in silence. "He'll agree." She whispered, wanting to cry with the shame she wasn't worth Spencer caring. She wished she would have the confidence to set easier terms, too, but that love didn't just go away. "So we can separate without cohabitation for 6 months."

The lawyer laid down her pen, stopping writing. "You shouldn't get divorced if you don't want to." She advised.

"I love my kids, and as much as I love Spencer..." Y/n trailed off, trying to explain how she was feeling like she was sitting on the therapist's couch all over again. "I don't know him anymore."

"That's fair." She agreed. "What are your terms?"

That was the big question Y/n had been thinking about since she realized this was the step she had to take. "I want physical custody. His work at the BAU means he's away on cases on average for maybe 3 days with a day or two in between during the work week which would prohibit him from providing a stable home where he sees them frequently."

"I agree." The lawyer said. "Even if it goes to court, a judge would never grant him sole physical custody." Even though Y/n knew that was true before the meeting, it gave her reassurance to hear it. "Legal custody and visitation?"

"I want us to both have legal custody." She stated. She didn't know what his actions would be when she was involved, but she did know he wouldn't purposefully harm their children. "For visitation, on the 90 days he's working for the BAU, I want him to have every second weekend, and if he chooses to, see them throughout the week. He can come to whichever extracurricular activity he chooses. During the 30 days that he's teaching, I want to do 2-2-3 custody so they can see us equally." It killed her that for an entire month, she'd see them only 15 days and she let a single tear run down her cheek at the thought of all that missed time. "When they're older, I think a week each is more appropriate." Then the dreaded reminder that this was permanent snuck up on her.

It was so kind and far too forgiving to someone who had shattered her heart. But she was desperately trying not to let her reaction to Spencer's actions affect her choices about their wellbeing, and she felt so good about herself for it.

"How about holidays?"

"I want both Christmas, Easter, and thanksgiving." It was the first selfish thing she'd said. Imagining them opening presents on Christmas morning, hunting for chocolate or having a family meal without her there was heartbreaking. "At least a week around the dates so I can travel with them. And I want their birthdays, but he can come to their parties. Any public holidays we can split." She hated having to compromise on her time with them. "For summer, he can have two weeks if he wants and he can have Father's Day. Oh, and Halloween, he can have that."

Again, she stopped writing and looked up at Y/n. "It's your favorite, isn't it?" Y/n really didn't know how she was so readable, and she frown at the statement. "Sorry, I just saw your lockscreen."

"Oh," Y/n answered in realization. "Yeah, but I only started liking it because it's his favorite."

Then there was some more scribbling before another question. "How about dividing property?"

"We own a house which I want to keep and eventually sell since I'm going to have the majority of custody." She decided. Living there, where they used to be a couple, wasn't ideal, but she didn't want to change too much all at once.

"Okay, the last thing we have to go over is finances and assets." She prompted.

"I make slightly more money than he does." She said transparently. "So I don't want alimony, but I want him to pay for half of everything for the kids, including their private school tuition. For the money we have... I think I want my percentage of income out of the total, preferably in stocks." The finances didn't worry her too much, but she was going to have to get an accountant because Spencer had been doing her taxes for years. "I want to keep my car, all the furniture, and my family heirlooms. Basically, everything that I use in the house."

The room fell silent aside from some writing. "It's a fair settlement. If he doesn't agree and it goes to trial, I would think a judge would side with you."

"So that's it?" Y/n asked.

"Pretty much, as soon as you're ready, you can sign whenever you're ready, and he'll get served." She answered.

Her fingers were shaking so much that she knew she wouldn't be able to physically sign it. "Can I sign in a few days?"

"Of course." She answered again, standing up to shake her hand before Y/n left.

~

Emily tried to talk some sense into Spencer when he returned to her place after therapy in tears. She thought the couple would work it out there, be provided with some strategies to fix things, and go back to the lives and love they deserved to have.

What made even less sense to her was Spencer's sudden inability to express his feelings to Y/n. Y/n had just always been the person he talked to, for years, and Emily understood prison complicated things and made Spencer closed off, but he was meant to talk to her. It's what he always had done.

But then he told her he thought she would go and see a lawyer, and she almost called Y/n to figure out what the fuck was actually going on. He made her promise she wouldn't, and she couldn't argue with him when a lot of their life was private.

"What are you doing today?" Emily asked, sitting next to him at the breakfast bar of her apartment, where he was drinking his coffee like it was just another Monday.

"Not getting back together with Y/n, if that's what you're asking," Spencer told her, clearly still raw from therapy a few days ago. "And I can't go back to the BAU because my time's not up." He groveled.

Emily gave him a stern look. "Reid." She warned in a tone he knew meant he needed to stop sulking.

"Sorry." He apologized, rubbing his eyes. "Y/n said I could see the kids, but she had an 'appointment' this morning." He continued, using air quotes.

"Oh, Spence, I'm sorry." Emily sympathized, resting a hand on his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. She knew Spencer's inference was usually right and if he thought Y/n was at a lawyer's office, she probably was. And that only meant he would inevitably be served and they would be divorced. 10 years of history were about to be gone.

Spencer just shrugged, holding back the tears clouding up his hazel eyes and taking another sip of coffee. "I think maybe I'll take them to the park or the museum." He said, changing the topic to something less heartbreaking. "I don't wanna tell them so I'll just drop them back to Y/n's and tell them I have a case." He decided, trying to think of the most painless way for things to go.

"Well, they're always welcome here if you're keeping them overnight." Emily reminded him.

"Thank you, Emily. I appreciate it." Spencer said, giving her as much of a smile as he could muster. Things would suck a lot more if he didn't have such good friends.

Emily nodded at him. "Of course. I'm going into the office, but everyone else is off for the day." She informed him, moving around the kitchen to pour a travel mug of coffee to put in her handbag.

After another text from Y/n confirming he could come around, Spencer stopped moping around Emily's apartment and tried to put on a smile as he got ready.

He switched his socks out three times, trying to find a combination that didn't say too much. It was stupid, really, but what socks he wore spoke louder than words. Even though she didn't tell him till later, Y/n had profiled he was proposing when he subconsciously wore the same mismatched socks that he'd worn on their first date. His socks had to be neutral.

The drive was longer than it felt when he fled to Emily's, and it only gave him more time to think: something that had become dangerous. Wiping his sweaty palms on his pants, he knocked on the front door of his own house in an odd twist of his life.

"Daddy!" Maddie squealed, flinging the door open and jumping into his arms.

"Hi, munchkin." He greeted her, effortlessly catching her and spinning her around in a hug. "Are you allowed to open the door without an adult?"

She pouted when he put her down, those big brown eyes matching his own. "No. Sorry."

Spencer smiled at her, making sure she knew he wasn't mad, just concerned about her safety. "Where's everyone else?" He asked, looking past her into the house. He really wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to see Y/n with how they'd left things and the fact she was most likely meeting with her lawyer that morning.

"C'mon." She instructed, reaching out for his hand and pulling him through the house. On instinct, Spencer turned to lock the door and took off his shoes.

It was clear Maddie didn't notice the stress in his demeanor or any of the tension between her parents. She dragged him upstairs, finding Bennett and Florence in the living room, a cuteness overload as they played with their toys together. As soon as they saw him, their eyes lit up and they came sprinting over and gave him the hugs reserved for only him. They chatted to him about what they had been doing like they did whenever he came back from a case and Spencer realized he didn't deserve the obvious affection he was being given in excess.

"Spencer, can I talk to you?" There was that angelic voice he had listened to for 10 years. It was slightly different though, wavering more than it usually did.

His eyes locked on hers, and he got up from where he was crouched down playing with the train tracks and walked over to where she was standing in the doorway dressed in jeans and a cardigan. "What's up?" He asked, trying to sound as casual as possible. His nerves were evident in how he shuffled on his feet.

"I was, uh, just thinking that they could stay with you overnight... if you had somewhere to go." She offered, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. It was so awkward to be around him and that felt wrong.

"What?" Spencer asked although he'd heard the question perfectly.

"I mean, they're your kids too, and they missed you." She justified, unable to read what was in his tone. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

He wasn't going to reject such a good offer, not when the last time they spoke in person she looked so hurt that he thought she might never speak to him without going through a lawyer again.

"Yes, please." He accepted, looking back at the three wonderful children for a second. "I was planning on taking them to the zoo with Derek and Hank, so maybe we'll stay there."

She was grateful he told her without any prompting, and as much as she hated the fact it was happening, they would make good co-parents. "I trust you with them." She emphasized the last two words, making sure he got the point. "Just wanna make sure they're okay." That was the only reason she was even talking to him. Had things happened differently and they didn't have kids, she wouldn't have spoken to him until he apologized.

"Are you going to be okay without them?" Spencer found himself asking before he could have it.

She laughed dryly, but she looked like she was about to cry. Just the welling of tears in her eyes-tears he caused- was enough to have his heart panging with guilt. Shaking her head, she glared at him for a moment before walking past him and into the living room.

"Who wants to have a super fun sleepover with their cousins tonight?" She asked them, enthusiasm, albeit fake, in her tone.

It was enough to have them bouncing around, excited for a late-night, movie, and take-out. He watched her for longer than he should have, unable to stop his mind's spiraling thoughts.

Then she left and came back from Maddie's bedroom with a backpack to hand to Spencer. "All their sleepover stuff is in there." She informed him, fingers brushing over his as she handed him the pink, sparkly backpack.

"Thanks," Spencer replied, not commenting on the similarity in how he had already had his bag packed when he left. "Who's ready to go?" He asked, turning back to the kids.

There was a chorus of affirmations, and they excitedly raced to the door to put their shoes on, leaving Y/n and Spencer together without a conversation buffer.

"Uh, so we should m-maybe talk... sometime." He offered, shifting his weight on his feet.

Although Y/n had no idea what they were going to talk about, she nodded. "Y-yeah, sure."

And just like that, he was gone again with the three kids. She tried not to think about them as she went about her day, knowing they would be having fun and their little brains wouldn't be able to theorize about what was going on.

After the zoo, Spencer didn't even think about asking Morgan to have the kids stay over. He did, however, make a phone call to someone else before letting Emily know he wouldn't be coming back to her apartment that night.

~

Y/n didn't wait for him later that night, but it was hard not to focus on him and the kids when she got the text: Laine noticed Wren left her bear at home, she's asleep now, but if she wakes up and it's not here... can I come and get it?

It was so much more domestic than Spencer had been in the past few months with her, talking about their kids and home and Florence’s goddamn Cubs bear, and all it made her feel was physically sick.

It felt like the start of what their new relationship was going to be: Spencer texting about things related to their kids in a friendly tone. And she cried- for what felt like the 100th time that day- as soon as she came to that realization.

She was sitting in the kitchen drinking wine and trying to pretend none of it was happening when Spencer walked in. "Hey, it's just me!" He called out like he always did.

It started after what happened with Diane Turner, and she couldn't stand anyone sneaking up on her at home, even Spencer snaking his arms around her waist holding flowers had sent her into a panic attack 5 years ago. Another scar left by the FBI.

Spencer walked through the hallway and into the kitchen like he knew exactly where she would be. "Hey." He greeted her again, looking at her figure sitting on one of the barstools. "Drinking?" He asked the question without any judgment.

"Want some?" She offered, expecting a refusal.

"Do we have any scotch?" He asked, not waiting for an answer as he entered the walk-in pantry to look for some. He shook off the feeling of being a stranger in his own house, while Y/n shook off the use of we.

He poured some, more than he should have, into a glass before pressing it against the ice dispenser on the fridge. Y/n tried not to focus her eyes on him, not to think about him like he was still someone who loved her so she stared at the marble on the bench and tried to memorize the pattern while the clock ticked each awkward second of silence past like it was a taunt.

"Where are they?" She questioned, feeling terrible she hadn't confirmed it since they left. Her mind was such a mess, and she relied on the fact they were safe with Spencer.

Spencer rested one hand against the cold bench top, the other raising his glass to his lips. The alcohol made him wince a little like he was still 21 and having his first drink with the team. "With Derek and Savannah." He lied flawlessly.

It went completely unnoticed by Y/n, who nodded. "Good, they love hanging out with Hank."

It hit her then that she might not get to see them. Would they be claiming friends? Spencer would get JJ, Y/n would get Dave, and there would be a fight for Penelope and Luke.

"Do you think they know?" She blurted out before she could stop herself, the white wine making her bolder than she wanted to be.

"No," Spencer answered quickly. "Maybe Laine is suspicious. I don't know, I always knew my parents were splitting up because they argued." He reminisced, and it drew tears to his eyes at the fact his actions put his family in a situation closer to the one he grew up in than he ever wanted them to be. Y/n bit her bottom lip, ignoring almost all of her thoughts. "We should talk about how we approach that."

She shook her head so quickly that his head whipped up so he could look at her. "Please, not tonight." She whimpered, hating how pathetic it sounded.

Spencer's heart sunk at how upset she seemed, and the guilt was nauseating. But he couldn't talk about it. Not now, and maybe never. "What is with Wren and pretzels?" He asked, completely changing the conversation.

After a light laugh, she gave the rhetorical answer Spencer was looking for. "I have no idea." In a moment of bravery, she met his stare. "She was back at it again today?"

Her eyes were back on the bench, not lingering on him for another second. The crash in her confidence was so drastic, and he knew he didn't have the right to feel anything about it, but he did.

"Yeah." He answered. "Made me stop at three gas stations to get her a packet before falling asleep and spilling them in the car. Good thing He-Hank loves them too."

"I know people said youngest children of three are the wild ones, but, boy, I was not expecting her." She commented with a laugh that was too genuine for the awkward relationship between them.

Of the three kids, Florence was definitely the untamed one. She was so much more carefree than either of her parents, obsessive over her teddy and pretzels, and so hilarious there were multiple giggling fits each day. Her wild Reid curls only added to her attitude.

Madelaine, naturally, was the independent one being the first child. She was stubborn like Spencer, thankfully getting his intelligence as well, and always the leader.

Bennett was the charming middle child, mostly unphased by whatever his sisters were doing. He was the sweet one, and both of his parents always made sure that didn't get taken advantage of and that he knew he was of equal importance to them.

Spencer laughed too, and it felt like a moment of peace. "I was actually reading a survey about how having three children is the most stressful."

"I did always want another one." She commented before she could stop herself, blushing from more than the wine when she realized it was said aloud.

"After p-prison," Spencer recalled, not making a remark about how improbable it was that they didn't have one after all the time they spent together when he got out. "Why didn't-"

"I didn't want a Band-Aid baby, Spencer." She cut him off harshly before he could finish the question. "No child should feel like their purpose is keeping a sinking ship afloat."

He didn't bite his lip or make any attempt at staying silent. "We weren't sinking then." He bit back quietly.

It was the worst way to argue, she had come to realize. The snide remarks let arguments go on for hours- or days- longer than they needed to.

"Well, we must have started at some point because now we're here." She stated flatly and with so much disdain he physically flinched.

"I would have had a baby then." He said, almost entirely ignoring her point and imagining, foolishly, what could have been. "Another sweet boy like Ben to even the ratio out or another girl as independent as Laine... or as wild as Wren."

Y/n, too, could play the ignore-any-problems-and-change-the-subject game. "The nicknames you give them always... interest me." She told him, trying purposely to phrase it in a way that it wasn't a compliment. Spencer only frowned at her, not a word passing his lips as he waited for her to elaborate. "Wren Reid?"

"True." Spencer agreed, chuckling the slightest amount. "I could have thought that one out better."

"I thought you'd stop after the rhyming of Maddie's 'Laine' and Raine, but a first name/middle name combo wasn't enough." She said and it sounded so similar to a standard conversation between two parents in love with each other and their kids that they just indulged in the fantasy.

"Wren Reid is only an imperfect rhyme!" He defended himself playfully.

The flipping from teasing to squabbling was so exhausting so Y/n picked a side. "At least you didn't do any sadistic nicknaming of Bennett." She joked.

He laughed harder than he should have, earning a frown from her. "Y/n, his initials spell out bar." He deadpanned.

Her mouth dropped open at the realization: Bennett Aaron Reid. "How did I not..?" She trailed off into giggles. She wasn't drunk, just tired and an emotional mess. "That is so bad."

"If it helps, I didn't realize until he was at least three." Spencer offered, finishing the final sip of his scotch.

She was still laughing, getting out of her seat, and walking around the kitchen island to put the wine glass in the dishwasher. "It absolutely does not help." She assured him, holding out her hand so he could give her his glass.

His fingers were warm against hers, and their hands touched for longer than they needed to. Those sparks, the electrical current, couldn't just be something she was feeling run through her veins.

She straightened back up once she shut the dishwasher and didn't put any additional distance between them. Spencer's eyes were locked on her firmer that time, desperately trying to work up a profile.

The hand he had resting on the bench came up to rest against her cheek, and the final thing grounding either of them was gone. Y/n dove in, knowing there was no way he would cross that time unless he knew how reciprocated it was.

Her lips were so unfamiliar to his, but they fell perfectly in sync. It took Spencer a moment to realize it wasn't a dream, and his eyes closed as he kissed her more firmly. He kissed her with all the red inside him; the passion, the anger, the love, the heat. All the most intense bottled-up emotions flowed out of him. Y/n melted against him, everything in her demeanor going from tightly wound to relaxed with a few seconds of kissing. He knew about the effects kissing had on serotonin, but never had he seen an experiment so effective.

He pulled away when his brain kicked in, and he realized they needed a moment to think about what had taken over them.

"183 days starting tomorrow?" Y/n asked in reference to what she'd heard earlier in the day. A few days didn't matter to her, not when her lips were an inch from his and she didn't feel so empty.

Spencer wished he could believe she knew they needed to avoid any form of cohabitation for 6 months because she was a lawyer, not because she'd seen a lawyer, but he didn't. And he hated the fact she thought he would agree to divorce even though his actions showed he would. The need for her to hope he would fight for their family was the most illogical and unfair emotion, but it was so persistent in his mind.

"How much have you had to drink?" He asked, able to taste each note of the wine on his lips.

"One." She assured him, annoyed he didn't just want to fuck her. The rules were all gone now, and she had burnt the playbook. "Now shut up."

His lips closed, indicating he wanted what was about to happen, and she wrapped her fists around the material of his polo where the lapels of his jacket usually were to pull his body flat against hers.

"Starting tomorrow." He mumbled against her lips in agreement.

It was something he'd said to himself so many times when he was trying to quit Dilaudid. He would stick the needle in his arm time and time again in his old, dark apartment when he was at his absolute lowest, pretending it would be the last time and that tomorrow would be different.

Spencer was an expert at pretending. You have to be when you're in prison or in a hostage situation, and if he thought about it hard enough, he could overlook how fucked up the entire situation was. His new talent had replaced the talent he used to have for seeing the consequence of his actions.

Spencer held her face more firmly that time, his arms boxing hers in. He angled his hips more until he had turned them around, and her hips were trapped between his and the bench. Her brain was spinning, the lust eating up each negative thought.

They were still so in sync that it was hard to believe they hadn't done anything like this in the three months they'd drifted apart. Y/n bit down on his bottom lip with enough force that he whimpered and gave her the chance to slip her tongue into his mouth. In a quick motion, she was sitting up on the kitchen countertop, the coldness against her thighs a contrast to Spencer's warm hands.

Y/n kept her legs open so he could stand between them, gripping his hips with her inner thighs to keep him close to her. He was more hesitant with his hands than usual, which gave her the rare opportunity to tease him first.

Her hands ran down his chest, all the way down the light blue dress shirt he wore until her fingertips trailed over the growing bulge in his pants.

Spencer lightly moaned against her lips, biting down on her bottom lip and tugging it away from her face. His lips were slotting against hers again, but that time, he kissed her deeper, tongue slipping into her mouth and tangling with hers.

A content sigh sounded from her lips into his open mouth when his hands gripped her hips tighter, fingertips no doubt bruising her skin. There was a burning need in her to touch his skin and she reached out for the collar of his shirt to pull him closer before getting to work on the buttons.

There were too many and she pulled at them hard, earning a lighthearted chuckle from him at her eagerness. "Let me." He offered gently, wrapping one hand around both of hers and using his other to undo the buttons.

She did the same thing, pulling her t-shirt off while Spencer took off his shirt. Why he always wore dress shirts, she didn’t know, but over the years he’d started filling them better. Her hands were on the skin of his chest as soon as she could, pushing the shirt onto the floor. It would be inconvenient for him to find later when he left, but she couldn’t care less.

That time their lips attached, Spencer seemed more urgent. His hands pulled her hips closer and he all but dragged her off the bench. Y/n followed his lead, running her hands up and down his chest like she’d missed doing so much. His fingertips were always cold but his heart was always warm. 

He knew each inch of that house and he knew where he was going as he walked backward, eyes closed and lips on hers. It wasn’t until the stairs and her hands fidgeting with his belt that his coordination dropped off. The grace he had and the pressure of his lips against hers were all gone when he stepped back and tripped up the stairs. 

She waited for a beat to make sure he wasn’t actually hurt, and then they were giggling like they used to when they were in love. Hearing him laugh was one of her favorite things, something she’d been starved of for far too long that she couldn’t deny how good it felt to hear. She didn’t have the chance to ask if he was okay before he was doing the safer thing, reaching out to take her hand and pull her upstairs. 

It felt weird to be back in their bedroom together, and Y/n desperately tried to ignore the voice in her head telling her this was a bad idea. It was going to hurt later, but it was worth it, if not for anything else than just to feel close to him again. 

It didn’t feel anything but right when he walked her over to the bed, those gorgeous big palms holding her waist while his thumbs touched the bottom of her bra. He looked at her for what felt like years, more focused on remembering every detail of her face than he was on her body. The moment that should have been more uncomfortable lasted until she was backed up against the base of the bed when he kissed her. The feeling of his hands roaming her skin was going to be something she missed, she realized as they traded saliva and Spencer reached around to unclasp her bra.

His lips broke away from hers and trailed down her neck. “Spence.” She lightly moaned when his teeth dug into her skin, marking her like she was his. Arching her back to give him more access to her boobs, she tangled her fingers through his hair and squeaked out noises of pleasure into his ear. It was a move that apparently hadn’t stopped working because he rolled his hips rhythmically against hers.

It was unspoken that they didn’t have a lot of time. Derek wasn’t going to believe it took him three orgasms worth of time to drive a few miles. Those big firm hands pushed her back onto the bed and Spencer's kisses reached lower as he stood between her thighs. As usual, he paid particular attention to the faded scar on her abdomen from Florence which she hated until he convinced her it was something to treasure. 

He was hesitant with the button of her pants but the desire in her was too strong to wait around for him to rethink his decision and come to the same conclusion. She sat up slightly against the comforter and gently palmed his bulge, waiting until the friction was nearly overwhelming to actually unbutton and unzip them. 

Spencer followed suit, pulling her pants off with a little help from her lifting her hips up. His intrigue with her wet core peaked as he ran his finger over the damp spot on her panties. He slipped his thumb under the seam, teasingly running it through her folds and watching the expression on her face change. Determined to not let him have the upper hand, Y/n used her own hand to play with him. He caved first, as expected, stepping out of his boxers and she followed suit, taking off her panties and shuffling down so her legs were hanging over the edge of the bed. And then there were absolutely no barriers between them.

With his hardened, red cock in his hand, Spencer guided himself through her wet folds, spreading his precum against her. Y/n watched, still sitting up and a little mesmerized. In one smooth motion, he pressed his lips against hers so forcefully that she fell back onto the comforter while gliding inside of her. He could feel her breath shortening as he pushed into her.

“Fuck.” She mumbled against his lips. It was total confirmation that she’d never be able to feel the same again, no one else would perfectly fill her up or make her skin so hot. Even thinking about being with someone else made her uncomfortable.

“I know.” He smirked, the heat of his voice against her skin dizzying. When he pulled back to thrust in again, he did so tenderly, not at all the rough hate fuck she expected to get from him. It was nice, though, and it oddly felt like they were back in sync again. Maybe the only thing they could do together anymore was passionate sex. 

His lips stayed close to hers, not directly on hers but close enough that he could kiss her. It meant she could let out breathly sighs each time he pulled out of her and moaned when he slammed back into her.

Spencer avoided telling her how beautiful she was, he just relished in the time they had left together. 

Her nails trailed up and down his back as he continued to fuck in and out of her slowly. It was so intimate for two people who had stopped showing their love for each other. All those soft touches, kisses, and pleasureful moans felt like something different and she felt like she was back in the old days. Back when they’d go to the movies just to make out, those times hand holding under the table at Quantico, and when saying goodbye took hours because of the endless kisses. When they couldn’t stand not touching each other. 

“Spencer, faster, please.” She begged, wrapping her legs around his hips to pull him closer. 

He threaded his fingers through hers above her head while he leaned down to kiss her neck and fulfilled her request. The smell of his shampoo and cologne and the scotch sent her senses into a Spencer overdrive. 

“Getting close?” He asked although he knew the answer. The amount of time he’d dedicated to getting to know her body meant he knew that when she started rolling her hips against his and got all quiet, she was about to cum.

“Mhm.” She answered, quiet for another second before a spew of his name and curse words left her lips. Spencer loved the sounds she made almost as much as he loved how she looked as she orgasmed. “Holy fuck.” She let out again as she came hard around his cock, all her muscles contracting before she fell back against the bed. 

Spencer fucked her through it before falling apart on top of her with a moan of her name. Then he was kissing her again softly before rolling onto the bed next to her. The post-orgasm sensation muted all those annoying thoughts in her head, and his beauty wasn’t lost on her. 

“Are you going to be okay?” He asked, turning on his side to look at her with the particular shade of brown she loved more than any other.

No.

Despite how close they’d just been, this felt too close for her now. And despite how bare they were, she’d never felt more exposed. 

“Yes.” She finally answered. It was easier to lie than to ask whether he was talking about the sex or her physical state or her mental state.

With a definitive nod, he got up off the bed. That’s when it felt different, when it was real that he was about to walk out and they weren’t going to cuddle and talk all night like she missed so much. 

His eyes lingered on her while he put his boxers and pants back on. “Can I ask you a favor?”

No. 

Y/n picked at her nails, trying to act like she wasn’t completely focused on his body. “Sure.”

“Don’t do anything irrational.” He requested before his voice got much quieter and she would have missed his next statement had there been any other noise in the house. “We can fix this.”

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[steveharringtons-lover]

Off Limits (Pt. 2)

Steve Harrington x Female Reader (she/her)

Part 1 here!

a/n: thank you so much for all the support on the first part! I couldn’t believe it when I woke up!

warnings: pet names, sexual references

(Don’t worry it’ll get worse)

————————————————————————

It was a particularly slow day at Family Video and Steve Harrington was about to die of boredom. Mondays were always the worst.

It was Monday and all the weekend rentals were being returned so that meant a hell of a lot of rewinding, not to mention the lack of customers.

“You're looking more dramatic than usual.” Robin teased looking over to Steve who was resting his head on the counter. “Got someone on your mind?”

Yes, yes I fucking do. Steve thought to himself inwardly groaning.

“Shut up Robin, you're the one stuck rewinding porn tapes. God knows who wanked over those.” Steve bit back so ready for the day to be over.

“Yeah well we all know what you wanked over, well who.” Robin said laughing to herself.

“I’m taking a break.” Steve said, pulling off his vest and going into the back room.

You're looking for a movie to rent an r-rated movie for him and his little friends, you’d offered to babysit for your aunt so she could have a well deserved break.

You walk up to the counter hoping to find someone to help you with finding this tape.

“Hey I was wondering if I could have a hand finding a tape please?” You asked the girl at the counter hoping she’ll have some idea on where to find it.

“Yeah sure.” She says guiding you over to the section where the movie you described should be. “I’m Robin by the way.”

“Oh nice to meet you, I’m (Y/N).” You said, her facial expression changing when you said your name. “Do I know you?”

“Oh no!” Robin said, smiling at her trying to play the look off. “Oh I’ve got too quickly checked on someone I’ll send someone to help you in a second!”

You stand there confused as you watch Robin run into the back room.

“Up dingus! Go help someone in the horror section!” Robin said, swatting Steve who was half asleep on the couch.

“Alright Jeez.” Steve said as he reluctantly got up, quickly putting his vest back on.

“Sorry about Robin I don’t why she wanted her break so bad anway how can-“ Steve began to say before you cut him off.

“Harrington.” You said with a smile looking up at him. “I didn’t know you worked here.”

“Oh um yeah, so what brings you here today?” Steve said his usual confidence, making a run for it every time he saw you.

“I’m looking for a movie. It's one for Dustin. It's one of those r-rated ones you can’t get without ID. So here I am.” You say as you flick through the movies on the shelf.

“Oh I know exactly which one you're talking about, he’s been trying to get me to get him for ages. Keep telling him it’s going to freak him and the rest of the kids out.” Steve told you, scanning the shelves.

“Here it is, right come on I’ll ring you up.” Steve says, leading you to the counter. “So what are you up to tonight?”

“Babysitting, all of Dustin’s friends are over for the night. I’ll probably just go to bed early or something.” You say casually watching Steve’s every move.

You’d only see boys like him in the movies, perfect hair, charming and a sweet smile. You could only guess what he’s like below the belt.

But his nose was a dead giveaway.

“You should come see my house, you know the one that’s usually empty?” Steve says with a smirk on his face.

“Take me out to dinner first Steve.” You say trying not to giggle.

“I can make that happen.” Steve says, leaning his face closest towards you again. “So what do you say?”

“Dustin’s off with his friends tomorrow, he wouldn’t know you came to pick me up.” You say bringing a hand up towards him.

You pull the pen from the pocket in his vest letting your hand linger a little longer than needed.

“Here this number will call the landline in my room, call me sometime after 3 tomorrow and we can make some dinner plans.” You say as you grab his hand and scribble your number down onto it.

“Here’s your tape, it’s on the house.” Steve says handing it to you.

“See you later, pretty boy.” You call out from the door of the family video looking back at him to catch his eyes on you.

“You’re so pussy whipped and you’ve barely touched her let alone kissed her.” Robin says, making her way out of the break room.

The next day you lay in your room catching up on some much needed reading, the house is empty and you finally have some peace and quiet.

You glance over to the clock, three o’clock exactly. You wonder how long it will take for him to call, wondering how much dignity he has left.

It was only two minutes before you heard the familiar sound of the phone ringing next to you.

“Hello?” You ask the person on the other line.

“Hey, it's Steve.” The voice on the other side of the phone says.

“Wow, almost three o’clock on the dot.” You tease.

“So what time can I pick you up tonight?” Steve asks.

“Hm, how about 6:30?” You ask, he hums in agreement. “So where are you taking me?”

“You’ll find out, just don’t wear heels alright?”

“Well now I’m curious.” You say, you want to know where Steve’s taking you.

“I’ll see you soon sweetheart.”

“Bye, bye Pretty Boy.”

As soon as you hang up the phone you head for the shower, taking your time to get ready for the evening.

Sooner or later you hear the sound of a car pull up in the driveway, that same BMW you saw the first time you met.

You look out the window to see him there his hair perfect as usual walking up the drive, then a knock at the door.

@fanficfanatic204 @sardonic-courtney @stephhevring @star-flecked-soul @sundownsdusk

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