#idk where i’ve been i still thought they were together it really just crushed me

[otrtbs]

just sent my best friend a 5 minute voice note full on sobbing at the fact that jeremey allen white and his wife addison timlin divorced ,,,, like what the fuck ???

#not even lying i was like …. crying … like a weirdo #idk where i’ve been i still thought they were together it really just crushed me #and don’t even get me started on mr. keoghan #ugh! #then the next vn was like ‘i miss tinder passport so bad. should i redownload bumble’ which is a whole thing 2 unpack

[multifandomxreader]

Hi! Idk if you’re taking requests or not, but I really love your work, and I was wondering if you wanted to do another Daryl one? Based off of it inspired by the song Night Shift by Lucy Dacus that takes place before and after the apocalypse. You can pick time frames/eras I’m not super picky about that I’ve just been thinking about this angst/fluff idea for a while and I’m not the greatest writer in the world. Totally fine if not! Please feel free to ask me questions if you need clarity

Night Shift

Daryl Dixon x Male reader

(I love the song it's so good!!! Hope you enjoy this! Sorry that it took so long)

tw: homophobia, violence...

You worked a thrift store before the apocalypse, Daryl was a regular there and you had your eye on him. You would always strike up conversations and after getting to know him better you would set aside clothes you knew he would like. For example a sleeveless jacket, which you decided to add wings to because it fitted him. You knew he was struggling with money so you convinced him to work in the store. He agreed to it because his brother was in jail so he had nothing holding him back from changing his way of life.

You started spending more and more time together because you worked the same shifts. You noticed how nice he is to the kids visiting the store, seeing his softer side made you realize your crush had turned in to something more. So one day you gathered the courage to ask him out after your shift. He freaked out and ran. When he got home he kept replaying the moment in is head, remembering his brother’s slurs and his father’s hits. He spent the night overthinking but came to the conclusion that they weren’t in his life anymore but you were and he sure wasn’t giving up on you so quickly.

The next day the first thing he did when he saw you was apologizing, you understood and made sure he knew he could always talk to you if he was struggling with things. You took him out to dinner the same evening and everything evolved from there. You start dating and everything was going great. In the beginning it was kinda rough but Daryl opened up eventually and you made sure he felt loved. After a few months you moved in together and even got a dog named Dixy. You were together for a year before your happiness came to an end.

You had finished your mutual shift and walked out the store hand in hand, you kissed Daryl’s cheek. You were planning a movie night and were discussing which snacks you were going to buy before a crusty looking redneck came up to you. Daryl froze and pulled his hand out of yours, you didn’t have enough time to realize it was Merle and you didn’t have enough time to dodge his fist going towards your face. You fell to the ground and the only thing you remember where more punches, slurs and Daryl’s voice getting his brother away from you. You lay there in pain when your coworker found you and got you to a hospital. The bruises didn’t hurt as much as the realization you had when you got back to your flat. Daryl wasn’t coming back, he had left your life without any goodbyes, without any tears, without any notice.

You carried on, changed appartements, changed your shift to the night shift so you wouldn’t run into his brother looking for more trouble. It had been a week since the accident when the pandemic broke out. You were one of the lucky ones that got out of the city in time. Ever since you’ve been wandering around with your dog, she was the reason you were still alive that, and the thought of Daryl still being out there.

You keep going, Dixy walking besides you, if temperatures kept rising you would have to find extra water but for now you were set on just moving forward, following the road. You were just about to sit down to rest when a bunch of walkers came out of the woods. Dixy barks and you grab your machete, with this many walkers you would usually just run but they seemed to emerge from everywhere. You chop a few heads off while Dixy puts her teeth into a walker’s neck. The walkers keep coming and you start to panic, suddenly you hear a car’s engine approaching. Any other day you would’ve hid but you would rather face some strangers then get eaten by some dead creatures so you ran towards the car. It swerved, hit a few walkers and a man and woman got out. The man holding a knife and the woman holding a katana. Together you finish the hoard off.

You are covered in guts and blood just like your guardian angels. You thank them while checking if Dixy is alright and introduce yourself. The man seems hesitant to talk to you but the woman replies “I’m Michonne, this is Rick” Rick nods at you and shares a glance with Michonne. He looks back at you “How many walkers have you killed?”

And that’s how you find yourself in a car on the way to a place called Alexandria. You chat a bit with Michonne and immediately like her, she is someone who you would’ve been friends with before the world ended. You could tell Rick was a bit more careful, the closer you got to Alexandria the tenser he got. “Hey man, I understand that you don’t know me but I really am glad that you saved my life and I look forward to becoming friends.” You tried to ensure him that you were one of the good guys, you totally understood his attitude, you too had met the more unpleasant types out there. Rick hummed “It’s cool man, we’ll see.”

The car approaches the gate and you feel the nerves in your gut, you can finally see a brighter future. Living in a community again, having friends, feeling safe, it was the best thing you could ask for in this world. The gate opens and your eyes widen at the sight. The car parked and you get out. You get some strange looks but after handing in your weapons and Rick introducing you, people start coming up to you to introduce themselves. Dixy was getting petted by some kids and was enjoying herself when woman came up to you with cookies “I’m Carol, welcome to Alexandria!” You thank her for the cookies and eat one of them because you were actually quite hungry. “These are really good!” you acclaim and she shrugs it off. You were in heaven.

Suddenly Dixy starts barking, everyone tenses and you search for the source of her vigilance. The first thing you notice is a motorbike, the second thing you notice is the love of your life next to it working on it. He looks up to look at the noise and your heart starts beating rapidly. Before you know it your legs run toward him and you yell out his name. He realises what’s happening and drops the wrench to run your way. Your bodies collide, your face in the crook of his neck and your arms wrapped around his torso. Everything is too much and you let out a sob. You take his face in your hands to make sure he’s real. His eyes are watery and his smile is a mix between happiness, confusion and repent. “I’m sorry I left” his voice breaks a bit. “I don’t care Daryl, I’m just glad we found each other again.” You kiss him softly, look into his eyes and kiss him again. You were never gonna let this man leave again.

You let go of each other and notice the people around you being astounded by the whole scene. Dixy is now circling Daryl and he gives her a few belly rubs. “So, I assume you two know each other” Michonne comments with a smirk. “Yes” you answer while taking Daryl’s hand in yours, this time keeping it there. Maybe this wasn’t really the end of the world.

#male reader #my fic #daryl dixon #the walking dead #m!reader #daryl dixon x male reader #twd #twd x male reader #norman reedus x male reader

[starrylayle]

My fave marauders ships and dynamics as a multi-shipper !! Ok so, there are certain ships I like to imagine as canon in the canon universe, and there are other ships that I prefer in aus and such but still ship them so much!! So I thought I’d just ramble abt them here lol.

My fave ships that are canon/I think I should be endgame:

First off, Jily ofc. My loves. I’m generally not super excited abt str8 couples but they’re just too cute. My fave dynamic with them is that they’re academic rivals — well at least lily thinks they are, James is just hopelessly in love with her and enjoys competition lol. Lily thinks he’s an idiot, immature and a bit of a bully at first but slowly warms up to him as she sees his kind-heartedness and stance on justice. Plus, she’s always found him a little hot :)

Wolfstar, duh. I don’t think I have to go into detail coz I already do so much on my blog lol.

Dorlene — aaah I love my tragic, angsty lil lesbians. Sucker for the quidditch-rivals-to-lovers trope. Ooh and i headcanon Dorcas as transfem. But yeah if you’ve read ‘the hands that feeds’ by rollercoasterwords that’s basically how I see their dynamic.

Fralice — cuties and did not deserve the ending they got ;((

Rosekiller — ok, ok. I know I’ve ranted abt how I don’t like the fanonization of their characters in fandom,, but I will admit I do like them together. Especially when they’re depicted as the awful people they are lol. I like to think that they’re still hooking up in GoF on nights where barty’s poly juice wears off lmaoo. Also random but I hc Barty to be in ravenclaw.

Pandora x Xenophillius (idk how to spell his name) — I like to imagine Pandora as a goth who runs an underground magical weed business and Xeno as a hippie weirdo and conspiracy theorist. Both are bi/pan tho and have def hooked up with ppl of the same gender before.

Andromeda x Ted Tonks — iconic. Love them. Andy was the og rebellious black family child.

Emmary — love, love this ship. For context, I picture Emmaline as a little older than Mary (maybe 2 or 3 years) and they meet when Em’s at the order. Mary’s a bisexual girlie who’s predominantly been with men at this point, and Em’s a big Butch lesbian who loves Mary so much but isn’t sure if Mary likes her back, at first. Ofc they end up together after the first war but when Em wants to join the second war, Mary oblivates herself and retreats to the muggle world entirely because she cannot bear more pain.

My fave ships that I like to think are semi-canon, as in their unrequited, or right person wrong time, or both have feelings that the other doesn’t know — they just don’t workout for some reason:

First off, Marylene — my absolute fave, right person, wrong time ship. Love the whole, ‘Marlene loved her too early, Mary loved her too late idea’. I’m a sucker for best friends to lovers ahhh. I imagine that Marls had crush on Mary since they were eleven and came out to her later, and although Mary was supportive she didn’t like her back at that point. Then Marls got with Dorcas and maybe Mary got a tad bit jealous. And then Marlene was killed ofc so Mary moved on and went with Emmaline, but she never really stopped loving Marlene.

Nobleflower — bi narcissa and Alice rights!! I like to think that they had a bit of a homoerotic friendship back in their hogwarts years, but the fact that they were on opposite sides eventually pulled them apart. And so Alice gets with Frank and Narcissa with Malfoy. Aaah so tragic I love them

Lily x Remus — I like to think Lily had a little crush on Remus when they were younger but she got over it and they became besties !!

Bellatrix / Lady Zabini — Toxic murder comphet lesbians!! Tho I imagine they ‘broke up’ their fling coz Bellatrix was murdering with pure blood fascism in mind,,, and lady Zabini was just like,, why can’t we just kill ppl for the sake of killing them?? 🥺🥺

Jegulus — ok so I don’t like jegulus as a canon(ish) ship, buuut I love me some unrequited jegulus, specifically from Regulus’ side coz sorry I just personally don’t see James ever liking Reg in canon. I imagine Reg goes into hogwarts wanting to hate the guy who stole his brother but ends up falling for him just the same. He has internalised homophobia and hates the fact that he’s gay, esp for someone like James lol.

Bartylus — My hc is that neither of them liked each other romantically, but they settled and got off each other to pass time. It’s transactional, at least it’s starts off being..maybe barty’s a little more into it than reg thinks they are.

Peter/Bertha Jorkins — I like to imagine they dated for awhile during hogwarts — until Bertha got bored of him and dumped him. Peter never really got over it and was still bitter.

Peter/Sybil — oooh I remember this one was trending on marauders tik tok awhile back but I’m still not over it. Happens after Bertha/Peter. Sybil breaks up with Peter maybe coz she gets a prophecy that he becomes evil. Peter is confused and heartbroken.

Snily — ok hear me out!! I don’t care for their portrayals in a lot of fics coz I think the pro / anti Snape bias is always there — but I would be open to exploring the complexity of their dynamic in a fic when snapes actions aren’t justified or excused, but he’s not portrayed as a one dimensional bad guy. And I think it would be interesting to explore more of Lily’s character and why she stuck by him so long.

Ok, now onto ships that I only enjoy in aus:

Marylily/macevans — by far my fave ship in aus. Best friends to lovers >>>> also half the marauders edits saved on my phone are marylily edits lmaoo they’re just so cute!!

Jegulus — requited this time!! If it’s an au and James is not reduced to a generic sunshine people pleasing character, then they’re a little cute I’ll admit. Not the biggest fan of the 'best friend's brother' trope but the drama is entertaining at least.

Mary/Dorcas — I don’t think they’re a very popular on here but I personally like it. In a way they’re opposites but they’re motivations are a lot more similar than they realise.

Pandalily — so, so cute. Fanart is spectacular

Dorlily — so academic rivals to lovers coded

Prongsfoot — specifically in aus where James and Sirius are on opposing sides, for example, slytherin!Sirius au

Wolfstarbucks — James and sirius share everything!! Including their lovers apparently. Mostly enjoy it as a crack ship tho.

Well this was fun!! I love multi-shipping <33

#marauders #marauders era #marauders hcs #remus lupin #wolfstar #james potter #jegulus #unrequited jegulus #sirius black #regulus black #mary macdonald #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #lily evans #peter pettigrew #evan rosier #barty crouch junior #narcissa black #bellatrix lestrange #andromeda x ted #marylene #nobleflower #dorlene #rosekiller #emmary #pandora x xenophilius #pandora lovegood #prongsfoot #bartylus #marylily

[mouschiwrites]

Heyyy ich loveee your Wirtin sm and i would love to See a Kai x Reader story so like they are sitting on a house or something and they both don’t know who they are like u don’t know that the red ninja is Kai uk?

Anyways so Kai is telling about the girl in school he has a crush on and that would be y/n but he doesn’t know that he is telling her and in School they are like enemies so y/n would never ever think that it would be Kai telleing her . And like they often meet as Nina’s but don’t know their idenetie so they kept going to see eacht other and they got reallyyy close and y/n got even close with the other ninjas and they know Kai likes her at then at some mission y/n got hurt and Kai is saving her and then he like know who she is idk if it makes sense but after that like at the next day or something then they meet at the spot they always met and he tells her who he is and then they like fall in love 😻

I would love that 😍😍

Ooh yess!! This gave me miraculous ladybug vibes! :D

Word count: 1.6k

Ninjago - Falling for the Mysterious Red Ninja

You were on the rooftop with the red ninja. That’s all you knew him by; you didn’t know his name, nor did you know what he looked like under his mask. And he knew no more about you; beyond your f/c mask, you were a stranger.

Despite this, you got along pretty well. Fighting crime together is apparently a pretty good bonding activity. The long periods of peace between crimes permitted you to speak with each other; get to know each other, joke around, whatever you fancied in the moment.

Tonight, you somehow got on the topic of love.

“There’s this girl at my school,” the red ninja was telling you, “who I’ve got a huge crush on.” You could see the tops of his cheeks through the mask, and they turned pink as he spoke.

“She’s really cool. Spunky. We like to argue.”

“Like to argue?” You giggled.

“Well, I like it. I like seeing her get all passionate. Man, you should hear her insults—they’d make an old woman faint!”

“She sounds like a riot.”

“Oh, she is. She’s pretty, too… h/c hair, e/c eyes…”

He was interrupted by the blaring noise of an alarm down the street. Springing to your feet, you abandoned the conversation and rushed into action.

You didn’t get to continue your discussion. As soon as the cops came to collect the crooks, the red ninja saluted you and sprung away into the darkness, and you went home.

Pulling off your mask, you stared at yourself in the mirror. H/c hair, e/c eyes…

“Wait a second…” You leaned in, pursing your lips. “But he couldn’t have been talking about me. He doesn’t know what color my hair is.”

Still, you couldn’t help but wonder if it was you that he was talking about. The mere thought made your heart flutter. Though you hesitated to admit it, you had developed a little crush on the red-masked hero. His charming personality was just enough to win you over, but your genuine conversations made him beyond alluring to you. And perhaps that air of mystery about him was another quality that attracted you.

You could’ve spent the whole night mooning over the thought of him liking you back, but you had school in the morning, so you forced yourself to catch a few hours of sleep.

The next day, your face twisted in disgust when you boarded the bus to find all the seats but one filled. The single empty seat was right next to Kai, the boy you hated more than anything in the world.

“Starting the day off on the wrong foot, I suppose,” Kai grumbled as you plopped down next to him.

“Shut up before I cram your pencils where pencils are not meant to go.”

“Yikes! Not even 9 AM and she’s already plotting to kill me!”

You gave him a harsh elbow to the side, which finally shut him up. Finally, you had the quiet you needed to think about last night.

Those reddish brown eyes gazing at the moon, the stars reflecting in them like freckles of light, the breeze carrying the scent of fast food joints from the street up to the rooftops… the way his smooth voice talked, enchanted, about this mystery girl… This mystery girl that you hoped, prayed, was you.

Lost in your daydreams, you didn’t notice the pair of reddish brown eyes next to you, quietly admiring your thoughtful expression.

Nighttime couldn’t come quick enough. You waited on the rooftop where you always met the red ninja, but he was certainly taking his time. You tapped the tips of your feet together impatiently.

“F/c!” A familiar voice—not the one you were waiting for—came from behind you.

You whirled around, smiling under your mask. “Zappy!”

“The others are taking care of a gang fight a couple blocks over. Wanna patrol with me while they finish up?”

“You know I do.”

The blue ninja was another close friend of yours. Not quite as close as the red ninja, but you’d still call him a good friend. It was strange, the way you befriended these masked heroes without knowing a single thing about the people under those brightly colored masks.

It would be several more nights before you’d see the red ninja again. Though you appreciated your time with the other ninjas, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t anxious to see him again. Somehow he always managed to be off on a different mission, leaving you with another colored ninja for the night.

Your dissatisfaction was exacerbated by a certain pig at school. Seeing Kai every day was like a punishment; as if being deprived from your red-clad crush wasn’t enough. Your luck really seemed to turn for the worse when you were assigned to work together on a group project.

“Just let me do my part, and I’ll leave you to do yours.”

“Can’t you do my part, too?”

“What, are you gonna be too busy desperately flirting with every female you can find?”

“I’ll have you know that I am not desperate. There’s only one girl I’ve got my eye on.”

“Eugh, spare me the details. I pray for her, whoever she is. Poor girl.”

“And I pray for whoever you have a crush on, if there’s anyone so unlucky in this world.”

Your cheeks reddened a little as the image of the red ninja flashed in your mind.

“Wait, do you actually have a crush on someone?”

“No! Shut up!”

You buried your nose in your textbook, trying to hide your darkening face. Through the pages you couldn’t see the crestfallen expression of your partner.

So you really liked someone… He should’ve seen it coming. You were a stunner; you could get anyone you wanted. Of course you’d set your eyes on someone. You probably had full intentions of asking them out, too. Kai sighed, following your lead and burying his nose in his textbook. The words were like abstract symbols to him; he was falling too deep into despair to comprehend them.

He was grateful to be back out on the streets, taking his frustrations out on hooligans who deserved it. His anger fuelled him; he ran faster, jumped higher, punched harder, all in an effort to drain the rage of knowing his love had eyes for another.

He barely noticed you joining him. You had noticed him fighting a gang in an alleyway, and, perceiving that he was far outnumbered, decided to jump in. I’m like his knight in shining armor, you thought with a smirk. The smile diminished as you realized that he wasn’t even paying attention to you.

This upset you a little. Weeks of not seeing you, and this is how he acts?

You were distracted. The man you were fighting pulled a knife out and slashed at your face. You dodged, but not quick enough to completely avoid the attack. You let out an anguished yelp. Luckily it wasn’t enough to knock you over; you bounced back and downed the assailant in a single blow to the head.

You were bleeding. You could feel the fabric of your mask growing wet and sticking to your face. You touched your cheek, wincing as your fingers brushed over the cut.

“Woah, that looks bad.”

“So now you notice me,” you chuckled, turning to face the red ninja.

“Sorry, I was… preoccupied. Here, sit down. I have some gauze in my first-aid pouch.”

You resisted, but the thought of having his hands gently touch your face was irresistible. You slumped down against the wall of the alleyway. He crouched down before you, examining the wound with those brown eyes you adored so much.

He moved his hands towards your face, but hesitated. “I… I’ll need to take off your mask.”

Your heart pounded. Was it time? Was now the moment you’d reveal your identity to him? As the questions swirled in your head, your hands seemed to move on their own. You pulled off your mask.

His eyes went wide. He was frozen there, crouched before you, hands halfway between you both, for a solid few seconds. Then, you heard him whisper, barely audible through his mask: “Y/n?”

You could feel the enchanted look in your eyes extinguish. Did he know you? Did you know him?

Before you could voice your questions, he ripped off his own mask.

“Kai?!”

“I’m… actually really glad you’re the f/c ninja. I don’t think our connection at school is exactly romantic.” Seeing your baffled expression, he elaborated rather bashfully. “Uh, you know that girl I was telling you about a while ago? That girl is Y/n. You.”

You chewed your lip. “You know how I kind of implied that I had a crush? Well, that crush is the red ninja.”

“Me,” Kai breathed, a smile spreading on his lips.

You always hated that smile, but this time there was something different about it. You cocked your head, bringing a hand up to hold his cheek. There was a certain quality to his face, a face you spent years of your academic life hating, that now seemed irresistible. You moved your hand to the back of his neck and pulled him in.

The kiss was tender and gentle, but short. Kai pulled away first. You were about to ask what happened when you noticed the splotch of blood on his cheek.

You laughed, wiping the blood off with your thumb. Kai placed his hand atop yours, kissing your knuckles before returning your hand to your side.

“Now let me patch you up, my flower.”

Thank you for this fun request, anon! And thank you for reading! <33

(divider by saradika)

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago x reader #kai smith #kai smith x reader #kai x reader #kai ninjago

[midnightsslut]

the whole cardigan/Peter parallels are messing my head can u explain

okay so peter is actually one of my favorite songs on the album for this reason! I think it has parallels to a lot of other songs, not just cardigan. the first thing to get out of the way is the cardigan lyric about peter and wendy: ‘tried to change the ending, peter losing wendy.’ now, that line doesn’t make a ton of sense because peter losing wendy is the ending of peter pan (idk I’ve never seen it and never thought I’d spend this long thinking about them), but I think what she’s saying is that he tried to change the ending of *their* story to peter losing wendy. peter loses her because she outgrows him, while he remains a ‘lost boy’ forever. the cardigan demo has an alternate lyric where peter actually *leaves* wendy. this does not happen in the original story, and to me, it reads like betty (eh, I don’t think those characters existed when she wrote that song, but bear with me) is accusing him of trying to change their fate by leaving her. peter is meant to always come back to wendy. *she* is the one who eventually leaves him. either way, cardigan ends with them together. yay for betty and/or taylor.

now, peter was written 3-4 years later, and it is the conclusion of a story about outgrowing someone despite truly wanting them back. the ending was not, in fact, changed. she did outgrow him. very sad. I actually want to go lyric by lyric, but I’ll put a cut just in case.

Forgive me Peter

My lost fearless leader

In closets like cedar

Preserved from when we were just kids

Is it something I did

the song starts with taylor trying to figure out what went wrong. did she do something wrong to crush these dreams of theirs? she kept him in a closet of cedar (where unmarried women kept their belongings that they would want to take with them after getting married) in her mind, but things didn’t work out anyway. the first line being ‘forgive me, peter’ indicates that she is the one who pulled the plug, and she’s apologizing for it. again, she isn’t entirely sure what went wrong, which, to me, is a clear parallel to how did it end.

The goddess of timing

Once found us beguiling

She said she was trying

Peter was she lying

My ribs get the feeling she did

when they first met, the timing seemed to be perfect for their relationship (‘the goddess of timing *once* found us beguiling’), but that didn’t last. the goddess of timing claimed that she tried, but nothing could save them. taylor even wonders if she lied, which suggests a lack of faith in higher powers like fate or deities. this verse introduces timing as a major conflict in the story. ‘are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?’

Said you were gonna grow up

Then you were gonna come find me

Words from the mouths of babes

Promises, oceans deep

But never to keep

peter went away, but he promised to come down once he was ready for a relationship. yes, this kind of applies to both of the main storylines on the album. you could take this to mean that they actually broke up a decade ago but promised to get back together, or you could assume there was some sort of break to their relationship, which she and joe did have. i kind of took it to mean that he wasn’t fully committed to the relationship, but he promised to be eventually. again, the renegade lyric, but also ‘i’m a fire, and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm if your cascade ocean wave blues come’ and ‘I’d hold you as the water rushes in,’ both of which are grand promises that neither party could keep.

Are you still a mind reader?

A natural scene stealer

I've heard great things Peter

But life was always easier on you

Than it was on me

he is charismatic. his magnetic field is a little too strong. he can read people. but he’s also fragile and inexperienced (‘he was a hothouse flower to my outdoorsman’). he may be able to read people, but things have been way too easy for him to ever understand a truly hurt person fully.

And sometimes it gets me

When crossing your jet stream

We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon

In different galaxies

And I didn't want to hang around

We said it was just goodbye for now

this is the thesis statement of their relationship to me. obviously, there’s the call it what you want parallel, but more importantly, it shows that the two people really wanted this to work. they just came from completely different places in their lives and perhaps the entire universe. this verse seems to reference the epilogue (‘resentment rotting away galaxies we created’ / ‘some stars never align’). they learned the right steps to different dances, if you will. she knew he needed time, so she left temporarily.

And I won't confess that I waited

But I let the lamp burn

As the men masqueraded

I hoped you'd return

With your feet on the ground

Tell me all that you'd learned

Cause love's never lost when perspective is earned

she does get with other men, but she keeps longing for him. she wishes that he would return with a grasp on reality and be the man she needs. if anything, the time away would give him the perspective he needs to ground himself. interesting parallel to ‘I said I don’t mind / it takes time’ in loml.

And you said you'd come and get me but you were 25

And the shelf life of those fantasies has expired

Lost to the lost boys chapter of your life

Forgive me Peter, please know that I tried

To hold onto the days when you were mine

But the woman who sits by the window has turned out the light

this is just devastating to me. well, first of all, both matty and joe were 25 when they first met her, which, lol. the dreams they had together have expired now. it’s been too long. she cannot keep holding onto a love from almost a decade ago. he took too long to return. he lost his lifelong dreams to what was only supposed to be a chapter of his life. she tried to hold onto the days when he was hers, and everything was right, but she had to turn out the light at some point. this is the moment when she gives up on their relationship. she apologizes for abandoning the ship, but she must do it.

overall, I think peter is a story about two people who genuinely did everything they could to be together, but their needs and their growth no longer aligned. there’s a sense of acceptance and lingering fondness here. she did everything she could not to bolt, but the ending was the same.

#peter #loooove this song #cardigan #ttpd

[beanghostprincess]

If you’ve seen the part where Winry gives him her earrings… you’re really close to another super emotional, gut wrenching scene that gets me every time (from Ed’s pov).

Personally I don’t ship either of them with anyone else because their scenes are just so… like it’s so obvious they’re so completely and irrevocably in love with one another that I can’t imagine them loving anyone else or even just crushing on anyone else. Like on one hand they’re two very well written characters with their own interests and passions unrelated to the other, which is great to see because I don’t like when characters only exist within a ship, but on the other hand, at the same time they love one another so much that it’s like the other is their world? In a way? Like the other is always on their mind and they’re always worrying for one another and wanting the other to be happy. I’ve always thought Ed has actually loved Winry since they were kids and that Winry fell for him as a teen, or at least that she realized she loved him when she was a teen. But the thing with Ed and Al arguing over who would get to marry Winry someday when they were kids, and Ed being the only one still thinking about it and being so flustered when he asks Winry about it, is a pretty big sign for me that he indeed fell for her back then and has kept on loving her all along (trying to hide it from others and failing miserably) while Al prob had a small crush on her as a kid, and eventually moved on and saw her just as a best friend and as a part of his family.

Idk I’m just rambling sorry hejhfkds I love seeing your FMAB posts, it’s always fun to see the first reactions of someone to a piece of media you love, especially when they’re as positive and wholesome as yours have been. So thank you for sharing that with us (and good luck for the incoming scene I mentioned… and for the finale. They might ruin you… but in a good way lol)

Yesterday I watched the scene in which a pipe (or a beam? Whatever that thing was) fucking goes through Ed's body (disgusting. Thank you. I almost died of a heart attack) and he almost dies and only gets up and fights against it because he "doesn't want to make her cry for something so dumb" and I think these two are going to be the death of me (also Winry screaming for Ed when Al doesn't respond. I am throwing up. I can't do this).

I ship Ed with Ling and Winry with Paninya because I have the magical powers of a multishipper, but I do agree on the fact that they're indubitably in love and I'm 100% sure they're together in every universe no matter what. They love each other so so much it makes me melt every time. The other day I had to pause the show to scream about them (sometimes I pity the friend that watches the show with me because he has to deal with me doing a character analysis every fucking time something happens).

And please!! Keep rambling about Fmab whenever you want in my inbox (without spoilers ofc until I finish this) because I just love talking about it. It's becoming one of my favorite animes for sure <3 I'm so so glad you like seeing my opinions on this!!

#i'll read the manga once i finish the show probably #because i am loving everything about this #and i need MORE #fmab #fullmetal alchimist brotherhood #winry rockbell #edward elric #edwin

[marimbles]

I know this is super random and like a year late, but as the consummate marichat fan, what were your thoughts on Elation?

first of all, apparently there are two definitions of the word “consummate” and until now i only knew the first one. HDNSND

second, i have many thoughts about elation but they are honestly kind of mixed and jumbled!!! On one hand, WHAT AN EPISODE!!!!! it still feels like a fever dream lmao. marichat fell in love and went on a cute little date and he took her up way in the sky with his baton carrying her princess style and then they tango’d over to andre’s and wanted to get Love ice cream and then they had the CUTEST KISS EVER!!!!! nose kiss cheek kiss lip kiss combo are you kidding. Are you KIDDING me. then he was trying to be respectful and not take advantage??? 😭 and she got AKUMATIZED bc she wanted to keep kissing him so bad??? HDJDJD and then the angsty second kiss to break her free omfggggggg people died (im people). the little moment at the end too when they agree to go their separate ways but hug like good friends who are in love. Waaaaa my heart. It was all really really good. I loved it. When I first watched it I kept having to pause and pace around like a madman fhsndn

On the other hand, it was so different from my personal vision of marichat that I wasn’t totally sure how to feel! The essence Marichat to me has always been a friends-to-lovers slowburn, so “sin ship” stuff or fics where they very quickly fall into a relationship against their better judgment have never been my cup of tea. And this episode felt like sort of a tamer, canon-appropriate version of that? It came on so fast and was over just as quickly. marichat ended up being just a one-night fling, basically. which is fine because I i always figured it wouldn’t play a big role in the plot—we got wayyyy more marichat than I ever expected to get! So I’m grateful! I don’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth haha. But at the same time I couldn’t help but feel sort of disappointed in how it all played out. because while I’ve always been rooting for reverse crush development, I never truly wanted a “love square flip” in the sense of them completely switching love interests from ladrien to marichat. That idea never felt super authentic to the characters to me. I feel like OG crush is so baked in to the love square, you know? This probably sounds rich coming from such a loud annoying marichat stan lmao but I always think of them as still being partly in love with OG crush underneath it all, even if marichat are together.

Anyway, i guess I just had a hard time processing it at all because I had a very specific vision/preference for how I wanted the love square to play out—which was basically, reverse crush develops simultaneously with OG crush and they have to figure out how to deal with being in love with two people at once, and then at the reveal they get the relief of knowing it was always the same person all along, and of course they fell for them twice. Idk to me that would be the most satisfying culmination of the love square—one of the most interesting romantic plot elements I’ve ever seen! And that’s not how the show writers decided to go. Which is OK. We got so much good love square and there will be more to come. I really have been trying to let go of what was always just my personal preference for the LS. But at the time I couldn’t help but feel it was sort of wasting a lot of potential by going in this direction. And that did kind of sour my experience watching elation. marichat was set up and discarded so quickly, as if to both satisfy the fans and also shut them up lol. like “here, you got your marichat, you animals. and now that door is permanently closed bc we just proved how it would never work.” Hahaha. And tbh maybe that was a necessity! Like the closure of that possibility.

All in all elation was an amazing episode. It just made me sort of sad at the end, watching marichat die within minutes of becoming canon. also at the time there were a bunch of marichat stans being kind of obnoxious and salting on ladrien which also dampened the mood a lot for me. So I felt weirdly sad for a while after watching it, even tho it was such an exciting ride that I’d been looking forward to. I guess I just keep thinking “yes this is what I wanted!! …except not like this tbh”

lol I’m so entitled Im sorry….we ate SO good. Elation will always be iconic. Weredad is still my all-time favorite episode though! :)

#anon #ask #marichat #ml elation #ml

[gracie-rosee]

Thoughts from an Elriel at heart who loves all ships and characters.

I’ve gained a bunch of new followers lately so… idk. Hi? This is the only post I will make about this btw. The only time I will share my thoughts on ships and the state of the fandom. My blog is a pro-positivity blog! So step into my mind for a brief minute before I bury this post on my blog and eventually delete it lol. I don’t tolerate negativity or bullying on my page at all. It’s an Instablock.

TL;DR: I love my elriel forever and forever. But all ships are hot regardless of canon and I don’t think it’s cool to police people around in fandom when we are all just here to have a good time. My blog is a place for everyone.

If this post isn’t to your liking in any way, keep scrolling and have a great day!

Okay it’s honesty hour. I genuinely think Elucien and Gwynriel could happen. Now listen.

I think that given enough time, their relationships could turn into true, deep romances.

But as of right now, where the series is at, there is no room for time. Koschei has been teased for like three books now and has made an actual appearance in the last book. He’s definitely going to be the villain that is fought in the next book (or two.) Plot wise, I don’t think there will be a big waiting period, meaning the next book will pick up almost right away. And considering it’s a romance book mainly, the actual romance has to start then too! Right away!

And I think Elain and Azriel are the only ones who have that build up to convincingly lead a romance book together.

So yes. I think Gwynriel has the potential to be a great couple. I think Elucien would be amazing.

Just not in this universe. Not right now.

Which is fine. I know, I just know the part of my heart that roots for these couples would be crushed by the story they would have if they were rushed and crammed into the next book. I’m already really wary of SJMs writing from the way she handled acosf and her re-write of Hofas. I don’t trust her with these ships to be honest. I think no one can write gwynriel and Elucien better than the incredible INCREDIBLE fanfic writers we have in this fandom. (I love you guys!)

I think in the canon world, they need more development. I need to see Elucien form a bond not influenced by their mating one first! I need to see Gwyn and Azriel’s healing on their own before they get together.

But Elain and Azriel? They have a story that’s already rolling. It’s been building since the moment they met, before Elain met Lucien and before Azriel started training with Gwyn.

So unless SJM kills one of them off, Elriel will own my head, heart, body, soul, and entire conscience LOL. 😂

But alas, Sarah is a very emotional writer. And I cannot NOT fall in love with almost every character she gives us. Years from now, one of these couples will be canon and I’ll still be reading fic and drawing for the others.

And isn’t that the point? It makes me sad that this fandom has developed the mindset that you’re not allowed to like multiple things. That there is a right and a wrong. That you have to pick sides.

Where are the people who love these books as a whole, not just those who are here for one couple that’s up in the air? Maybe I’m just old, but normally fandom is a place where everyone comes together for the love of all of it, not the hatred of part of it. 🤷‍♀️

#acotar #just one tag #because im hoping this reaches the casual/first time readers brave enough to venture into the acotar tag on tumblr dot com in this age #my blog is first and foremost a safe space for EVERYONE #all ships #all people #all fans are welcome here #I sincerely swear I will never bash anyone’s opinions regardless of my own #that’s low behavior #I love all of you guys here #talk to me about anything #my dms are always open

[jamietarttownsmyheart]

please i need colinjamie headcanons or prompts i’ve been deprived of them for too long

i am. so so sorry for how late this is. and how uncoordinated the rest of this will probably end up being, but, just, ima unleash random colinjamie thoughts on u and hope it makes sense lol and that you enjoy them, but since idk how long it'll end up ima put everything under the cut

random hcs

colinjamie have definitely watched the owl house at some point. maybe this is fresh in my head since the final episode just came out a few days ago, but i definitely see colinjamie watching the owl house together. two options:

maybe colin was chilling with his niece (i want colin to have a niece or a nephew so bad, he gives uncle vibes and also i want jamie to interact with the kid at some point too) and she was watching it and he got invested. and then jamie got invested via colin. OR. henry was visiting the stadium on spring break and mentioned the owl house to jamie, who was curious, watched and episode, and then got invested. flash forward to colinjamie fwb era and colin dropping by one day and finding jamie losing his shit over the episode hollow mind. jamie needs to lose his shit with someone and colin is the poor soul who came over for a hook up but ended up having to watch two seasons of a disney cartoon.

that being said, i also think that jamie, if he ever watched avatar the last airbender as a kid, only ever watched until mid season 2. life got more complicated and he was more concerned with playing well than "lazy" things like cartoons. he never got to zuko standing up to his dad. he'll get there someday, it's gonna be great

colinjamie have a unique sense of style that they somehow make work, it drives so many people mad

colin had a crush on lightning mcqueen when he was a kid. (11 years old? idk how old colin is, so im putting him at 28 in s3, making him 11 when cars came out) he thinks about this childhood crush and figures its pretty telling that he's got a speedy car and a cocky but talented boyfriend

jamie is dyslexic, and when he realized audiobooks existed, he was thrilled. still, his favorite way to experience books is to have colin read them out to him.

that being said, his favorite way to enjoy drake is to have colin rapping along

colin takes jamie along to theater performances, musicals, and the ballet.

jamie found the "whose the worm now" moment so hot. he can't let colin find out

random prompt

prompt #1

so this might be because i just re read the seven husbands of evelyn hugo, daisy jones and the six, and carrie soto is back, as well as binging all of the daisy jones and the six show, and have been listening to taylor swift all month, but i am craving something specific?

like, i am so here for an au with actor or pop star jamie (have y'all heard phil dunster's voice?) and richmond player colin hughes. its giving posh spice and david beckham.

just the different flavors of it all. if we have it in modern times, as in, the time ted lasso is set in the show, we can do so much. (we can also have a colin who is not actually a fan of his bf's music. it's not that he hates it, it's just not his style. jamie knows this, and writes songs about colin anyways. colin loves listening to these songs regardless of them not being his style.)

then of course there is the other option--i am so bad at timelines and math, so dont come for me when this is all wrong, but i, on my 7 husband of eh kick, was like omg?? give me hollywood star jamie tartt and football player colin hughes who are "roommates."

prompt #2

im a sucker for vampires and vampire hunters. i think it can go either way for them in terms of whose the vampire and whose the vampire hunters.

prompt #3

a canon divergence au where colinjamie were dating s1. jamie and keeley were dating prior to his loan to richmond and stayed friends after their breakup. he really did love her, but still hadn't learned to be accountable yet. keeley still comes around to the club bc she's jamie's best friend and wants to test the playing field with roy.

#colinjamie #jamie tartt x colin hughes #colin hughes #jamie tartt #answered asks #Hartt

[takeshitakyuuto]

Trigun Book Club Update Trimax volume 2

Oh sweet Jesus just look at what I have to deal with here

These are THE SCANS. KMSSSSSS

Also, despite being intimately familiar with reading right to left, the fact that the next arrow is still the right one instead of the left one completely breaks my brain. Let’s see how this goes. Although I will say that this is a slight upgrade in that the last volume scanned two page spreads separately so I kinda had to imagine how they were supposed to look put together. I should’ve just bought the books

Ch 1. That’s also how I feel whenever I hear the saxophone my dad was a jazz saxophonist, I have a degree in classical oboe performance. How did this happen? idk

Jesus being crushed to death by the weight of other humans is a horrific way to die

Ch 2. Eat like a dog, Kaiba

Sorry I’m incapable of thinking about media outside of the contexts of other things I’ve read or seen, it’s in my nature. Remember that part in Hiraeth The End of the Journey where even though Hibino had a side cart for his motorcycle, he refused to let anyone ride in it because he was saving it for his soulmate? Yeah.

Totally obsessed with Raidei’s outfit

They say don’t bring a knife to a gun fight but they said nothing about a sword!

Ooooohhhhhhh it’s the last page of chapter two and I finally figured out that it’s supposed to be Raidei the Blade. I was like braid? Why braid what’s that supposed to mean?

Ch 3. Loving the title page art for this chapter

I will not make dirty jokes about Vash’s arm gun, I will not make dirty jokes about Vash’s arm gun, I w

Ngl, this fight reminded me of (oh god im doing it again) the coliseum chapter of Kino’s Journey. I’m leaving it at that but it seems like I’ve got a penchant for human-loving gunslinging protagonists

Ch 4. Chapter called Wolfwood? LETS GOOOOOO

Vash: I don’t kill people

Wolfwood: I do, get out of my way

The more interactions between Vash and Wolfwood I read, the more I understand why people ship them. Who doesn’t want someone to put your gun to their head and tell you to shoot them

Meryl and Millie! 🥹 It’s been so long!

They say lost technology a lot but this technology certainly doesn’t seem lost

Ch 5. Nico nii chan :3c (side note: totally forgot his first name was Nicholas for a second and thought it was a joke on him always smiling)

don’t click

I really do love how large of a role family plays in the story and the characters’ motivations and personalities. I still feel like we’re in the “early” part of the series, but to be already picking up on so many of these themes and motifs is really cool, and I’m definitely keen to see how they all come to a head in the series.

Love when there’s a kanji near the page fold and the scan makes it look like ▉

I’m still not sure what Y is... it seems like a group of bad guys? Maybe? Is it Kaiba’s group?

Ch 6. Gung Ho Guns just loves toying with Vash’s emotions huh

Ch 7. Sorry I’m laughing at Wolfwood’s sultry little pose in the chapter title art here

I’m on the verge of wringing the puppetmaster’s neck holy shit just speak Japanese for once please. All of you reading a translation- know you’re lucky

Final thoughts: This was definitely a lot more interesting than the last volume, and the pace seems to be picking up. I’m still kinda waiting for it to get out of “villain of the week” type plot, but at least we’re getting more depth out of it. Also, it seems like we’ve completely abandoned those twelve coin assassins at this point? There are some things I’m still unsure about, like Y, but I also know that I struggle to pick up on more indirect things in my second language, especially when it’s referencing something that we’re just supposed to figure out. So that’s my assumption on Y, but I still don’t have any ideas on why Wolfwood has such strong ties with it. Also, I feel like my thoughts were pretty short for this volume, but that’s also definitely because there was lots of action and fight scenes this time around, and my brain just kinda shuts off for those lolol

#trigun #trigunbookclub

[zero-braincells-left]

not a vent post but idk if anyone actually wants to listen to me talk about romance and my gf and. my confidence in my romantic attraction shattering right in front of me lmao. anywho

tldr: hmmmmmmmmmm hey i might be lithromantic. but first let’s go on several unrelated tangents that only barely go together to prove whatever point i was trying to make??

ive kind of felt like i feel romance. wrong ? like i know there isn’t a wrong way like this and whatnot but it’s still just. idk. first of all like,,,, i just don’t get the concept of falling in love (romantic). what being in love would even feel like. but most definitely not in an aromantic way, no, i 100% do have crushes. i am. extremely sure about that part. but that’s just liking people. i feel like im too young to be in love, but everyone else announces such. last time i used the word love romantically was fucking forever ago when i was in 4th grade with my very first crush. that, in fact, was not love. love is just a strong word.

(after writing everything else im unsure where to put this where it fits, but also, I haven’t really been able to imagine myself in any sort of long term, romantic relationship. i don’t want to get married, and i can’t see myself dating someone for, like, life.)

but i love my friends. because that’s platonic. love is a perfectly acceptable word to use for platonic or familial things in my mind. just not romance, at least not for myself? like i get the thing of having a partner and being able to say “i love you” and i mean. cmon. with all the ships i have I’ve imagined that with characters plenty of times. but like

i love my best(?) friend so, sosososo much more than i “love” my girlfriend. because, with dating, i just like her. romantic . and she knows that and the feelings mutual because love is just too strong a word for a relationship both of us know isn’t forever. but. do i even like her (romantic.)? i think so? i had a crush on her for like. half a year. and i know that was a crush, for sure. and that day on Halloween when we started dating i was happy, i was excited. but something about calling her my “girlfriend” felt so. weird. ive never dated anyone before, not even a shitty 3 day long elementary school “dating” kinda thing, so i just kinda chalked it up to that. i still can’t pinpoint what it is but right now. yeah, okay, we’re dating. whenever i think about that fact—I like the thought of it but i don’t like that it’s real. that it’s happening. the thought of being ‘romantic’ or holding hands or anything feels genuinely uncomfortable if i think about it now, even when it used to be a nice idea. and in practice, before either of us knew the other liked them, and we had all sorts of “fake” flirting bullshit, i was also perfectly fine and even happy (and flustered) by the closeness because. i liked her. and now with a relationship, even if the idea makes me really uncomfy, in practice I don’t really mind. it’s just, kind of, neutral.

speaking of which, I’ve made several “if you say that again im breaking up with you” or when she does something dumb/silly and goes ‘oh yeah? what you gonna do? break up with me?’ “yes” jokes. and like. she’s fine with that and we both think it’s funny but. i genuinely don’t not mean it, like, the idea of breaking up with her doesn’t bother me (well, it does a bit.) and the idea of staying with her, still dating, also doesn’t bother me (well, it does a bit). again im just completely neutral on it, and she knows this. but i feel like im only here because she likes dating me more than i enjoy it. i cant tell if I like this or not.

it’s like, knowing my feelings were reciprocated and being able to date her like I wanted to, made my feelings go away or at least. lessen (cause i still, I guess, do like her? sort of?)

anyways i guess I might be lithromantic then ? i already know of that label AND I’d considered it before.

for long as I can remember now, I guess, whenever I have crushes I can get over them really quickly. it’s just having that closure that’s fine. hell, earlier this year I liked one of my friends so i told him, got confirmation he didn’t like me back, and then got over it the next day. that was just a few months of crushing though—a couple years ago, i had a crush on one of my main friends at the time for one whole year. December to February of the following year. my feelings didn’t weaken over that time, either. then i got peer pressured into confessing, got confirmation it was a no, and the VERY. NEXT . DAY. i was over him. i knew it was a no so I didn’t dwell on it.

it’s just always been like that, I guess. i can get over anyone if I have the closure.

but nobody’s ever liked me back before. what happens if that ‘closure’ is a yes? i thought about it one time maybe a year or so ago and thought that, yeah, maybe I’d stop liking someone if that was the case. and now it… sort of is. i don’t know how I feel about my gf or what to do about it and I don’t know how to talk to her about it. i know she’s understanding of that so it’s not that im scared she’ll think im weird or wrong for it, just. idk. i dont even know what I’d say, but I might try tomorrow.

im fine dating her, i honestly don’t mind it, i just feel like being able to. express how i do feel about it at least haha. and i feel really guilty that this might be mostly one-sided on her end.

i have another thing to say actually but I’ll rb and add it on cause I want to end this specific thought here

#zero’s irrelevant thoughts #gf.. #uhhh hh #idk man

[mangoposts]

Long ass rant about a boy

So there’s this boy that i’ve liked since 7th grade but i’ve known him since kindergarten. We became really close friends in middle school because he was in most of my classes but then covid hit and i kind of branched away from him. He would always check up on me but for some reason i would constantly give him absolutely nothing. 8th grade year i just stopped talking to him until january i actually realized that i liked him and i told my friend and she ended up telling him. We ended up texting a lot that year but one day he told me i was beautiful and i got scared and i stopped talking to him. 9th grade year I went completely mute, i don’t think i spoke a single word to him that whole year. He also started to become “cute” to all the other girls. 10th grade year he ended up being in one of my classes and we sat at a table together. We played roblox together in class lmfao (Like we use to in middle school) but of course nothing ever happened. There would be some days where he would show some signs but i am so scared of getting a boyfriend i didn’t react to them. Now it’s 11th grade year and this year i decided that i wasn’t going to wait anymore!! So legit after the first football game he scored a touchdown, (keep in mind we haven’t texted since 8th grade) I texted him good job and he responded within seconds and we started talking. In my mind i was sure i finally had him in the bag and that this would be the year we finally get together (Ppl would randomly tell me we would look good together??). Lmfao then i got left on delivered for 2 days and i was so confused ?? Like i thought this would be my year ?? Well no he started talking to one of my best friends friend (we were mutuals and would hang here and then but that same girl also had a massive crush on my brother a year prior) It was weird. She would talk about him everytime he we were in a hang out together and i would try not to flinch everytime i heard his name bc mannnn he was suspose to me mine i thought!! They broke up not long ago (Oh yeah he never stopped snapping me even when they were still dating and i would leave him on delivered for weeks) And i took that as a chance and just started snapping him more and he did too. In class we play roblox together still Lmfao. but nothing else really. He talks to me here and there but like bro i am shy. I am not talking to you first. He looks at me alot idk. I don’t know i was hoping he would maybe ask me to prom or something but he’s taking someone else ??

I’m just so bored and annoyed at myself for how long i waited for him bc now it seems like i am never gonna get him back ever and I just realized it’s all my fault

I fear you missed your shot 😭😭😭 I’ve been through the same thing before tho and i regret it all the time LMAO the only way you could fix things up is if you bite the bullet and talk to him yourself, waiting around won’t fix it

#🥭

[esidolmail]

Dear Izumi..

I don’t really know where to start, this is pretty long.. so, for a long time, I have been struggle physically mentally, and socially. I used to crush and suffer all the time because of a lot of things. They were so overwhelming (and still is.)

I have been misgendered and verbally harassed for being feminine and looking cute / girly naturally despite being amab (and having a deep/ normal voice that sounds annoying and disgusting which I have become insecure of.) my family calls me “gay” in a teasing manner and they treat and judge me by the stereotypes. (I don’t even care about my gender. I just want to enjoy my life.)

My parents, and most of my friends misunderstand me and don’t see me the way I see myself. My parents think I’m some shut in that’s lifeless and addicted to my phone. Most of my friends think I’m this wild crazy annoying person (yes I am wild and crazy /pos, but without the annoying.) I mean.. I don’t try to be annoying.. (well considering I am heavily implied to having adhd since childhood but I’m not sure) idk.. I do get a but hyper sometimes, but I always try to be nice and supportive to my friends. But whenever they do, they think I don’t have any problems in life since I act annoying when in truth.. I’m just really silly like that.

One of the main reasons why I can’t really be myself (cute but chaotic but soft) is mainly because I’m insecure about my appearance and voice..? I wish I was thin, had naturally straight hair, perfect skin, no excess fat, and was able to have makeup. That thinking was really toxic but I’m over it now. I really wish I was cuter had a cuter face and had a cuter voice. I thought that, that way, people would think I am too innocent, and I wouldn’t be called annoying when I tall, my family wouldn’t keep calling me “gay” as an insult even tho I’m not. I am currently trying to be better but I’ll continue that later.

There were really a lot of problems, especially around a dozen months ago. My parents, insecurities, bad habits, and even more stuff. However, you were there. To be honest, ever since I started to like you, it wasn’t that bad. It was still bad, but at least it wasn’t that horrible anymore. Whenever I would shut myself in my room and cry in frustration because of everything, I would simply imagine you trying to comfort me until I was better. When I was about to hurt myself, I would imagine.. “what would Izumi think? He’s be worried.. he’d be sad” sometimes, I even imagined you stopping me.

You really were able to protect me. You really are like a knight, I thought. When I felt like the world was breaking apart, you kept it together with me. When I started being open about shipping myself with you however, I came across more problems. People would harass and hurt me online even if they know that you are trying to help me get better. They told me that I was “delusional and cringe” and even worse things, and that you would choose someone else. It was bad.

But I got over that. I knew that they didn’t matter, and you would like me anyways. Present time, I am still frustrated. I have good grades, but my appearance only improved by a small percentage. (I know I will look cute if I tried. It’s just that I need to research more. And me being amab makes it harder because of my parents wanting me to be more masculine instead.) I always wanted to sing as a child, but got conscious of how disgusting my voice is and people would say I sound annoying. And how I can’t dance, and I can’t even color my artworks properly. I am still insecure about some things, and frustrated about things.

There’s more things I want to say but can’t put in words. But these days, I feel like I have improved a lot. I know I just started, but I will become better at the things I do, and my appearance. And I’m not that insecure about my voice anymore, and I’ve become a bit more strong mentally.

And you helped me get through all the times I was hurt and sad. I don’t know how else I can repay you for this, as I can only give you my love. I’m so thankful you give me happiness and motivation to do better everyday. When I reach my goals, you’re gonna be there with me. I honestly don’t know where my life would be right now if it weren’t for you. You’re the best knight ever, Izumi. You protect me from all these bad things and make me happy.

Thank you.

I love you so much, Izumi 💙!

Love, your Princess/Prince Fu-chan/Fu-kun

#ensemble stars #enstars #ensemble stars letter #enstars letter #esidolmail letters #izumi sena #sena izumi #knights #knights enstars #izumi sena letter #sena izumi letter

[llycaons]

I saw les mis live today (special treat). I’ve seen the show in high school and read the book a few times, but not recently

it’s such a gut punch to think that the social issues the books addresses are still a massive problem. idk about france but at least here in the us

I haven’t been listening to any music recently so when they started singing I was like “oh shit! this is great! cool how they do that!’

I didn’t cry, but at the beginning and at the end I got very close. ‘look down’ is such a fucking visceral song series

I forgot they have a live orchestra so halfway through I noticed the conductor and went ohhhh yeah there’s people down there playing instruments. sweet

my first les mis experience was the 2012(?) movie, which may have been bad musically speaking (didn’t love the valjean) but I have a lot of fondness for javert’s nasally voice and samantha barks’s eponine

I always had a crush on eponine when I was younger because barks was that beautiful, and in the books the ways she was described really appealed to me because I was 15 and didn’t think about how tragic her life was and sad it was that she’s been hardened by her experiences at such a young age. but I also think I connected with her loneliness a lot...leave marius and I’ll treat you right etc.

the theater songs are slightly differently delivered than in the movie, which I found sounded unnatural. they really have to sing fast, wow

live theater is really cool!! I haven’t been able to see any in years, and the lighting, effects, design, etc. are all so different from film and tv, they have so many more limitations but also unique opportunities that tv doesn’t. and I really loved to see how they put together each set right there on stage and how nothing looked *realistic* but the performance has its own character because of it

les mis has some of my favorite theater songs of all time, but also some of the most boring :/ ‘bring him home’ and ‘drink with me’ barely have real melodies. also im sorry but all the lyrics to ‘I dreamed a dream” are very juvenile. I get that fantine is young but those lyrics just sound ridiculous

but I really loved master of the house and lovely ladies, those are SUCH fun songs. I think the thernardiers were some of the first villains I saw onscreen who were just really fun with it

so fucked up that they killed gavroche. SO fucked up. I think his death scenes, in both the movie and the theater, were just gutting. I get why they did it! it was a good choice! but wow

I like how the movie had javert give gavroche that medal in recognition of his courage, but why did they actually have rain during ‘a little fall of rain’? the point was that eponine was so soaked in her own blood she just thought it was raining

the movie is the most pared-down version of the story that can still be comprehensible. it’s impressive how condensed they made events. the theater had several scenes I remember from the book that couldn’t fit into the movie

watching made me want to read the book again, it had so much detail that i really enjoyed when I had energy to get through it

god, anyone remember the les mis fandom ca. 2012? naturally people would flock to the shippable college students with one-sentence personalities and repeat the catchy songs and make memes rather than actually consider the social messages in the book or talk about the actual main character

speaking of messages, this is the only story where I watch it and feel I kind of get people being into catholicism to which

even so something that drove me crazy about valjean was in the books he would just not enjoy himself or let himself be happy. catholics will love to suffer. catholics will present suffering as a noble thing to do in life so you get rewarded in heaven. drove me up a wall. in the book he literally had no reason not to be with cosette he just felt unworthy of her or something and would just stop visiting her even though they missed each other so bad

oh wait it’s because he told marius about him being a convict but not about anything else in his life and it made marius cut him off because he thought he was evil or smt even though valjean later revealed that his wealth was from an honest idea he had and they reconcile just before he dies. so what was the fucking point, anyway? be as miserable and noble as you can die and then get to heaven because you were Good (tm) ugh

also, why didn’t valjean just tell marius who he was? he knew cosette loved marius back, what need was there for him to do this elaborate sewer crawl after marius was injured? what if marius had been shot dead, huh? like I know the character reasons for his determination to do everything in the most secret way possible but it would have made things so much easier

don’t love how women and sex workers are treated about by any of the versions or how cosette is treated by valjean or marius like she can’t handle the truth but for 1860s, not as bad as it could have been?

but the themes of just...kindness and second chances and forgiveness and sympathy for the most oppressed and mistreated members of society and doing right by others and loving them is so fucking good anyway

#up next is cats in march #haven't seen the movie don't know anything about it #the one song is catchy #cor.txt