#idk man I think I’m just sad but still

[chrollohearttags]

and if I said I wanted to leave—🧍🏾‍♀️

#this place is literally shifting to Twitter and WattPad 2.0 #which is like the final boss of hellsites #and I’ve been MIA on writing #for many reasons #but mainly because I’m tired of seeing a so called want for long detailed fics and fluff #and then looking at the notes on the ones I do write be ignored #and y’all trying to shame ppl for writing smut #and I really have had my fill of discourse #y’all spend more time arguing than writing and it’s so nauseating #idk man I think I’m just sad but still #cherry chats 🍒 #y’all treat writers like content creators #get to unfollowing as soon as we don’t pump out 15 fics per second #it’s always a part 2 instead of meaningful commentary— #need I go on?

[saltpepperbeard]

:(

#EXCUSE THE LITTLE SPIRAL HERE QKDJWJS but I just want to talk it through as a crew #Feeling very very gracious towards David’s lovely message #But also feeling sad #Because I was happy to see him being so quiet and being so secretive #Because to ME that seemed like a good sign that negotiations or some kind of discussions might be taking place #And that there subsequently might be some sort of intense NDA #But now with THIS… #Idk it just feels like we just took so many steps back #Like to me it reads as though there are NO current negotiations #And that we’re actually still just suspended and have BEEN suspended #Which…jakdwjdnwjdwkdk #And no I don’t understand how all of this works so who KNOWS what’s really going on the background #But idk man. Idk. #Not to be such a negative nancy either when I’m usually so energized #But I was just sort of taken aback and wanted to see what yall were thinking too #Things just feel a little more…DIFFICULT again #praying for some hope and ALSO praying that jac makes a thread for additional clarity AKDJWJ

[goldensunset]

surprise art attack!!! here’s @deityofhearts ‘s cashmere, everyone’s favorite whimsical tiefling

#pose taken directly from the kikuomiku4 album cover bc i’ve been listening to UFO on repeat for idk how many days now #finally gave me the inspiration i needed to do something like this it’s like both sad and super whimsical #actually tbh it gives me more wishful vibes now that i think about it but 1. idk what wishful looks like and 2. cashmere design my beloved #kikuo just in general has a lot of whimsysad and/or fundark which is why i love him #tbh ufo has quickly shot up to one of my fave songs it’s the iconic accordion and the tempo being unstable in places #uh anyway ignore me being a kikuo nerd again #wahhh this was fun to work on it has consumed me these past three days #jumping up and down hehehehehe #glad i finally cut to the ‘it’s done *collapses*’ stage of the arting process bc i’ve been having trouble finishing pieces lately #man i WISH i could come up with poses this good on my own. idc i’m still proud of this #my art #ok yeah i just got the time total. 12 hours #i knew it would be a long time but i didn’t think that long #tbh a lot of that was spent inefficiently bc i kept having to resize the image up when i realized the pixels were too crunchy #and when you make an image bigger the lines get blurry so then you have to redo them. yeah i had to do that TWICE. like a dummy. #12 hours used to be like par for the course for me but i’ve finally gotten faster. or maybe i’ve just stopped doing as many full figures #lol

[marimbles]

i miss being in my tmsidk era. what was i on back then. where did that girl go. come back ho why would you abandon me like this

#me getting writer’s block 4 chapters into my wip. hemming and hawing over my outline #weeping and wailing that it’s not funny or interesting enough #good grief. #i was so strong back then….. #actually tbh I’m sure it was just as hard writing has always been and will always be so so hard for me lol #agonizing. excruciating. it just feels more appropriate when you’re agonizing over a long dramatic AU vs something rly dumb and silly. hddjd #literally tho when I think abt how I wrote something that long I’m still flabbergasted. i don’t even READ fics that long. hdjddn #but MAN it was a good time. I miss it. I miss the fandom from those days too #I sound like such an old geezer rn lmao. the fandom just feels different now idk. smaller maybe. less active in a lot of ways. #it’s a little sad I guess. but there is still great stuff going on! #anyway. I sleep now #maybe when I wake up I’ll know how to write again🫶

[ricketycr1cks]

Watching new sunny and missing Mac doing karate moves and project badass and standing up to Dennis and being treated as an equal in their friendship and everyone being really, really scummy like not just saying stupid shit but genuinely ruining peoples lives tbh

#man I just #don’t get me wrong I still love the show but #i miss when Dennis and Mac seemed a lot more like equals #and Mac not primarily being characterized by being gay #but also its like I keep thinking about Mac talking about it all the time because he’s making up for lost time #so I can’t even really be mad about it #still though I feel like they have stripped a lot of his neurodivergent traits and it’s making me sad #and I just feel like his characterization has changed a bit #maybe it’s my autism idk #give him back his trauma and let everyone be extra evil and miserable the way they used to be #i hope this doesn’t read as me being like well back in my day #anyways I’m done being a hater #iasip #it’s always sunny in philly #mac mcdonald #dennis reynolds #macden #frank reynolds #dee reynolds #source: iasip #like I wanna see some rickety cricket shit again I miss them being gasp inducingly evil and not just calling people woke #adding that I still do love the show a lot and the new seasons I just had to get that off my chest #he’s still my bbg ofc #I might delete this I don’t think a lot of people are gonna agree with me on this one idk #I think seasons 1-9 just have a special place in my heart and some of the changes are making me go a little insane #and obviously Dennis still loves Mac they are best friends #but it just feels outwardly like their dynamic has changed a lot like if you look at Mac and Dennis break up to now #okay i’m spiraling

[seokwoosmole]

Ngl I’m kind of a mess rn…

#I wish I could say I was surprised but I’m not fully #I was rlly just holding onto the slightest bit of hope #idek how to feel #rowoon is my ult and my gateway into sf9 and kpop #I’m still gonna stan sf9 #of course #that’s not even a question #I don’t think I could ever leave a group I stan just cause my bias isn’t in it anymore #I love the other members so much too #but idk #I might be on a small break from them #at least until their next comeback #fuck I feel so silly cause I’m about to go to work & im bawling my eyes out rn over some man making a career choice #idk I guess I’m sad I’ll never get to see sf9 perform as 9 ever again too #not will anyone for that matter #ahh idk this just hurts #I’m happy for seokwoo if this is what he wants #and I’ll always be happy for the members if they’re pursuing what makes them happy #will definitely be a sad fantasy for awhile though #sf9 #rowoon #sf9 rowoon #Kim seokwoo #last thing - to all my rowoon biased fantasy #hang in there - sending love🩷

[angelfrogs]

For weeks now I’ve been telling this joke (mostly to myself) that’s just “I love it when people ask me if I like jjk because the honest answer is no” because I carry these little jjk figures with me everywhere and it’s true I don’t really like jjk that much BUT NOW I CANT POST THAT JOKE BC PEOPLE WILL THINK I AM JUST UPSET ABOUT THE NEW CHAPTER SPOILERS AND I AM BUT THAT ISNT THE REASON

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #kind of I’m hinting at them #I stopped reading jjk at chapter 209 bc I was literally making myself sick with stress #I also refuse to watch the anime for this reason #I think jjk is well written and I think it tells a very compelling and honest story about the dangers tradition can pose #but honestly about midway through I just felt like I was dragging myself through the series for the sake of completion #and I still feel that way #but I still interact with the fandom and stuff idk I really shouldn’t #also I know the whole ‘jjk is making me too sad’ is RICH coming from number one chainsaw man enjoyer #but it’s different and I really actually want to write a whole thing about why bc it’s very interesting to me #I love story structures and meta analysis #anyway tag rant over byeeeee💕 #read my terrible words

[fexicoded]

+

#I feel like I’m getting to the stage of grief where thinking about angus’s death doesn’t hurt quite as much #and it does make me a bit mad and a tad scared #but also… I never knew him in real life but yet he was a constant ‘fixture’ in my life #and ill feel pain about his death and random things about him but it doesn’t hurt as much and idk… it hurts #I want to continue to be sad about his death but I know it’s fruitful to continue to do so due to the parasocial relationship issues #like today I kinda laughed reminiscing about the Sunday spottings and watching all them waiting to see if he’d show up and when he would #we’d all be like ohh that’s insane he’s famous enough to be part of the deuxmoi Sunday spottings #or the time my speculation about him and dru made for a blind about him #man… it’s still so hard to believe it’s been over a fucking month since he left earth #and yet i still vividly remember everything about that day and how that date will forever mare my future feelings #wish he was still here #anyways #just thought I’d update my grieving process incase others needed something or felt the same way and as a way to just give words to stuff #and like block me if you hate me now with my bs ramblings

[rosicheeks]

-

#literally all I can think about is that stupid fucking ticket #can’t think about anything else #that’s the only thing on my mind #I’ve been kinda researching it a little bit #but my head hurts now #I’m still 50/50 if I want to fight it #obviously I just want it to be over #so paying and being done sounds nice #(I mean I’ll have to do a payment plan or something cause there’s no way I’ll be able to afford an extra $368) #but I also really don’t want it on my record #everything I was reading said you should fight it mainly just to get it off your record #cause of course now that I’m looking for a job that shit will be on my background check #such #a #fucking #HEADACHE #I wish I could go back to that day and redo it #I’m constantly anxious #and sad #idk what to do man #if anyone has fought a ticket before (speeding or weed related) lmk how it went #I just don’t want to pay for an attorney or whatever cause lol money #if I can’t afford food #I can’t afford this stupid ticket #and I definitely can’t afford an attorney or defender or whatever the fuck they’re called #ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh #I feel so hopeless right now #shut up rosie

[genderfreakxx]

If people could stop using the term “transmasc” as synonymous with “trans man” that would be fucking phenomenal.

#I’m transitioning because I want to have more masculine traits just by default #but I don’t consider myself a binary trans man. the binary makes no fucking sense to me. fuck the binary #this is I think why I feel so sad when people get angry at ‘transmascs’ for relating to and having gender envy over Gerard way #because I absolutely have gender envy over Gerard- but it has fuck all to do with ‘being a man’ #Gerard isn’t binary. they don’t like labels but they’ve expressed admiration for they/them pronouns and said ‘I’ve always liked he/they’ #and they do a hell of a lot of relating to she/her pronouns and girls in their music #no fucken part of me is envious of Gerard in a Man Way™ #because neither of us are binary Masc-y McMascerson men #I admire g for their entire vibe in every way they’ve presented it to us #just because I’m transmasc doesn’t mean I only admire men. I’m nonbinary #I admire queer people in every form. I’m hesitant to call g queer because idk how they feel about it #but you get what I mean #if Gerard came out as a trans woman tomorrow I would still have gender envy for them. I have gender envy over cis women sometimes ffs #I love them (parasocially yada yada) however they identify. I love them even more because they hate fucken labels. ME TOO #I just love the way they put themselves out there. #I’ve just seen a lot of folks hating on transmascs for relating to Gerard and I think it’s a misunderstanding tbh #it’s all pure love and admiration and inspiration #I can’t speak for everyone but I would never want to push a label on G when they clearly fucken hate it. #that being said; I think the way they express themselves and the art they create is inspiring as hell!! #for me gender envy goes deeper than just surface level aesthetic sometimes #wow this has been a rant. and idk if I’ve even gotten my point across actually #oh well! #gender #blithering on

[peapod20001]

Haha don’t pay me any mind oho

#vent #ok. so #I was! fine for the most part today! but then! idk what happened! #I’m like sad now! depressed? like. I kinda don’t feel real #I think I was giving myself anxiety over thoughts. got really clammy. literally shoveled goldfish crackers into my face #now don’t judge me but #I’ve been looking at things that make me feel bad for like. at least 4 hours now haha.. #I dunno man it’s the adhd I got one thought about thing that made me upset and now I’m hours in and my emotions are fried #and. shh don’t tell anyone I feel things but I know have a fantasy of someone I can cry around #whehe how pathetic is that. scraping the bottom of the barrel here looking for another human just let me cry @ you #hmm. how did I go from thinking up poems for valentines only to. feel so cold and alone #I’m not crying. but. I definitely need to later haha maybe this all kickstarted from my two whole hours of sleep last night 😎 #mhm so uh. if your reading this with the most cold unfeeling monotone voice then you are exceptionally accurate!i am currently not all here #can’t sleep now tho gotta. do other shit I guess #I’m laying in bed for a second though. my legs were very cold to the touch. unfeeling unhuman #oh and I might be balding potentially but that’s still just a theory. my dad noticed and pointed it out #haha what would I be withought my hair? another germ just populating this Earth? #oho ahh. hm. I’m just a trying to say I don’t fell right now if that makes sense. anyways

[milo-is-rambling]

Don’t get high and then watch the only team you care about lose

#was this Bergerons last season? I don’t want him to leave. we were talking about missing tukka too and it was so sad and I love our goalies #so much. I’m excited for next season bc it won’t be so fresh with all the shit with my dad bc I basically ignored the team until playoffs bc #it made me so fucking sad bc he’s the one from Boston who loved hockey and we all watched it together and now he’s not a part of that #and it’s just so sad man. I do get really happy at the idea of me living on my own some day and watching bruins with friends and drinking #and smoking and laughing and cheering together and being sad and angry together it’s truly so incredible #one day I will be on my own and I will carry traditions dad made with me even if I don’t have kids I will have so many friends to watch #hockey with and they’ll have friends to watch hockey with and I will host a watch party bc I like hosting and having friends and so I’ll #host a hockey watch party in my shitty little apartment and I’ll apologize to my neighbors ahead of time bc the game is on and we might get #loud #ahhh daydreaming about a shitty apartment anywhere back up north with hearts in my eyes and love in my soul #I am high. and thinking about hockey. and life. and time passing. things change but they stay the same. huge players leave and new players #join but it’s still the same team and it’s got all this history #but just ughh idk #I’m having big feelings in my small tired heart and man’s can’t express #edibles that make me cry why are you making me cry stop it #literally 5mg goes right to my crying holes it’s ridiculous body stop making me cry

[pebblezone]

who’s up making sound effects ☝️☝️☝️

#talkingcore #realizing that the little pshooo noise I make when moving an object from one place to another can in fact be heard and perceived by others #purely on the basis I don’t hear anyone else making sound effects… you’re telling me I’m supposed to just push elevator buttons in silence?? #like when you’re looking for things you don’t do like a lil choochoo chugging a long situation? okay… 👁️👁️💥💥💥💥 #hot girl walk backfired I am so sleepy fuck this group project I can’t do anything til other people put info in…. I want to sleep #they pushed it off an extra 50 minutes pls let’s just get it done so I can go to sleep peacefully at like idk 8:30 (this is unrealistic) #I can sense the stress and disappointment. so sad so sad #maybe I’ll wait to post so I can have as much of my woes in one place (I am so sleepy) #this is hell I forgot we had a floor meeting at 830. the dude whose work I’m waiting on is not done. I’m feeling like the Arthur dad #tip: I am so fucking mad though the mad is really just Tired it’s due at 9 am tomorrow I do not want to be thinking about this past 10pm #it’s 8:49 maybe it’ll be good soon Please I need Slumber though also there’s Clunking going around who’s clunking #919 literally no progress this is super hell. DUDE WHERE SRE YOU GOING WE ARE ALL WAITING ON YOU AHHHHHHHHHHHH #man…………….. this is twisted. and sick :(((( #THEY FINALLY FREED ME 9:37 GOD DAMN… AND THEYRE STILL NOT DONE IM JUST NOT TRAPPED ON ZOOM #this is my attack on London for Realsies we already had an extension it should’ve been due this morning. ass cheeks up for Real for real for

[appreciatingtokrev]

okay so i.. just gotta vent/rant. don’t read if you’re uncomfy? also brief tw! suicide mention in the 2nd last paragraph

i can’t exactly tell you why yet, but god, i’m not okay right now. i’m angry. sad. hurt. i feel played. yk, my ex is abro & genderfluid? i think? at least their insta says that, tho idk how often they update that. but his whatsapp pfp currently has an mlm & a trans flag on it, so, at least rn, they’re trans mlm and i think he goes by he/they? and, like, i’m happy they’re comfy in his identity and all that shit. like, pop off, ig. nice you can be you. but i feel so fucking played by this goddamn bitch. at least i’m now 100% sure that i’ll never ever go back to them no matter what?

when we were in a relationship (that was uh 8 months in 2020/2021, from october until very early june) he basically forced the label 'woman' onto me. back then, they were a non-binary lesbian going by they/she, i think. not too sure about the pronouns, but that doesn’t really matter. the problem was the label lesbian. they knew well before our relationship that i identify as demiboy. and for me, there was nothing lesbian or wlw about that. i identified as omni ace, with a pretty big mlm lean. they knew there was zero girl in me and still identified as a lesbian, saying i’m an 'exception' and all that stuff. tbh, i don’t think he ever saw me as anything that doesn’t include girl or is heavily male. and, idk, i’m just fucking angry. because, now, after a year, he’s fucking gay. they’re identifying as a person that could be attracted to me with labels that i’d be okay with in a relationship. (like, idc if you’re lesbian & attracted to me. kinda contradictory with my identity, idc tho. but as soon as we’re dating & you’re a lesbian, i’m not comfy.) it’s fucking with my head, fr. why?? why could he never be gay for me??? why did they have to be lesbian?? i forced myself to be genderfluid for them. we called our relationship lesbian because he wanted to. i ignored all of me and tried to identify as a non-binary lesbian for them, just so he’s comfy. and now, suddenly, he’s fucking mlm.

i know they aren’t at fault for identifying the way they do, but it fucking hurts. like, i made myself out to be a whole other person for 8 months!!!! eight!! while not comfy at all!! and 4 out of those, i wasn’t even happy, and only stayed bc i was 99% sure he’d go kill himself once i break up and i was so fucking afraid of that!!!!!

i can’t fucking put the shit i’m feeling right now into words. i’m not livid. i’m not bawling my eyes out. i guess i’m just angry. pained. disappointed. hurt. idk. but not happy, not happy at all.

#idk just a rant/vent #i fucking hate them. i hate them!! i hate him!!!!!!!!! #i hate him so much. i hate them! i hATE THEM!!! I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!! #sorry that felt good. that was very good i wish i could’ve screamed it #man i’m so. fuck i hate him so shitty fucking much!! there’s not enough swear swords to describe it #i could fill books with all of the things i want to tell them but i don’t think it’ll ever be enough #it makes me very sad too. we had an amazing relationship as besties #(at least before i noticed how toxic he actually was all the time lol) #ngl i don’t think i was a lot better but i can’t remember any of my actions so i’ll never know for sure #also. no. i’ll never forgive them. and i’m okay with that #and no. i don’t think talking it all out is an option. i don’t think we could ever work together again #no matter in what relationship #i want to tell him all of these things but i don’t even know where to start #maybe i should really just write books lol #also look at me trying to gender him correctly and use the correct pronouns. they’re a fucking ass #but ig he still deserves the basic right of not getting misgendered #and no this isn’t me trying to look like a good person #this is me trying to get people to understand that misgendering is never okay #unless it’s a cishet transphobe who misgenders you on purpose. but yeah #no misgendering people you hate ty

[firekick]

can’t sleep and i’m still thinking about the scene where liu tells cole abt how he got his arcana

#uhhh brief tw for brief and vague mention of implied sa in the tags #idk if anyone here needs that but just in case #still thinking about the ‘i chose to take [his mark] from him’ #also thinking abt how he was found ‘half dead’ before being brought to the wu shi academy #ALSO the phrasing ‘[the man) was a purveyor of rare things. children. orphans. Like Me’ #movie are you trying to fuckin imply something #i still stand by my thought of liu being sent to bring the man back to the temple bc he had a mark but liu chose to kill him when he found- #-out who he is and the fact that he trafficked children #but was it personal??? am i overthinking it???? #i mean liu got his arcana Immediately after he got his mark so clearly he was emotional (as a young adult would be after killing a man) but #I JUST KEEP THINKING ABOUT THE CAREFUL PHRASING AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE AND I JUST #MOVIE ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPLY THAT LIU WAS A VICTIM BEFORE HE WAS FOUND??? #FUCKED UP IF TRUE I DIDNT EXPECT THIS DOGSHIT MOVIE TO MAKE ME SAD?? #anyway i’m going to bed now i’m just like. //holy shit????// #i hate this movie but fuck it if they’re not gonna give us more than vague and flat backstories then ig i have to put in the work huh #the staggering difference between liu in mk95 and liu in mk21 continues

[okcoolthanks]

How to stop feeling like an awful person after accidentally crossing someone’s boundary even though you talked to them about it and apologized and know you won’t do it again and they understood it was an accident and it’s fine and you two are still on good terms

#god I just #Ughhghhg #I can’t stop THINKING about it it wasn’t even that bad they said i was doing a bit and it was getting annoying #and I said i was sorry like multiple times and I said I won’t do that but again and they were like ‘no you can! it just got a little annoyi #ng it’s fine!’ and I still feel like a terrible person #I think I’m tired that’s gotta be it #or I’m mentally going through what I went through with my old friends and how I got mad at them and lashed out when I shouldn’t have and #refused to apologize and got into a big argument and then had one conversation about it and got mad again and then lashed out AGAIN and then #texted that I didn’t want to be friends any more and then I cried for weeks and every time I’d see one of them I’d want to throw up and I wa #s constantly miserable I didn’t want to go to school and I did everything that I could ok the comic because it was a fun distraction but it #also made me sad because I wanted to finish it and show it to them but they weren’t ever actually interested in it and I never got to show #them and I even made two characters in it based on two of my best friends in that group at the time and now I don’t know if I should delete #them entirely or keep it or change the characters???????? I don’t know #fuck #oh yeah one of those best friends basically took the plot of HBD and changed it a little and is gonna make a fucking short film with it #it’s a stupid fucking plot too it’s one of those like coming of age stories where the main character wears a ghost sheet and it’s actually a #metaphore for being socially anxious because he has a bad home life but then! then he’s walking to class and someone steps on the sheet and #it comes off! and they become best friends and they work through their problems! #Jesus fucking Christ I can’t believe her #I told her it was similar and that she should change it but we were gonna discuss that the week I texted I wasn’t coming back so #If she makes it I’m gonna sue her I don’t fucking care I told her I fucking told her and later that fucking day she ‘came up with it on her #own’ fucking Christ man get a life #I need to stop typing and go to sleep idk why I did that #sorry for the rant!