#idk if i should delete all the past posts from here or not tbh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

melody-han-wayne · 4 months

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(OOC: Update + Apology—Long Post)

So I've been pretty much non-existent for the past 4 months or so BUT I can explain!

Basically what happened is that I emigrated to not just a different country, but a different continent on literally the other side of the world from where I grew up. And I left behind all my friends and family at home, meaning I came here alone and I'm still alone and probably will be alone for as long as I remain in this new country. So for the past few months I've been dealing with moving and settling down and making plans to secure my future in this new country—heck, just making sure I can have a future in this new country. I'm more or less settled into my new life now (except for the planning for the future part) but before that I kind of forgot about Melody for a while 🫥

So anyway the guilt ate away at my subconscious and Melody's voice came to me in a dream and berated me for abandoning her, so I woke up and quickly came to check on my baby. And I realise, to my utter mortification and horror, that I never paused my Tumblr queue, so all the half-baked ideas, the rough drafts, the tentative-but-not-in-chronological-order character development, had been posting itself while I was away 🫠. So if during the past 5 months you saw my blog degenerate into a bigger and bigger mess and wondered "What the heck is going on"—it's not you, it's me. Right now I'm just trying to salvage what I can of my blog (and my dignity) and reorganise everything I originally planned for Melody (tbh I forgot half of it but I'm sure the memories are in here somewhere, I just have to clean out the dust and oil the gears first).

Honestly I have no idea how many people follow(ed) Melody's story, I might as well be posting into the void for all I know. But like so many of the other RPers on this blog I started because I was bored and had some ideas in my head that wouldn't leave me alone, and over time I became attached to my OC and her story (perhaps unhealthily so). That's part of the reason why I decided not to just delete my blog and make my absence permanent. Because working on this self-indulgent project used to make me happy, and because I still have some ideas I want to share with whoever might be lurking around. Another reason is because of the community that welcomed me and that I personally watched grow. Even when this blog was at its 'most active' I probably didn't interact with other RPers as much as I should/could have (again, it's not you, it's me) but what little interaction we did have I truly did enjoy as we built and connected our own stories and characters while also interpreting the DC ones. I don't think I've said this before, and I don't think I'll ever say it enough, but really, thank you all for being willing to indulge me and play with me. This has been a lovely space to be in, and you guys combined are like 80% of the reason ❤️❤️❤️❤️

@florence-wayne-official @kit-the-nonbinary-wayne @that-one-gotham-kid @amira-wayne-al-ghul @warren-wayne-kyle @teagrayson + anyone I missed, knowing the rate at which this community grows there's bound to be at least one person I didn't tag (it's not a snub—again, not you, it's me and my bad memory—please don't be offended 🥺)

((idk if tagging everyone is proper etiquette after my prolonged absence, I was just going to say 'you know who you are' at first and leave it at that but I'm not sure if you guys actually know who you are 😅 so if I'm breaking some kind of unspoken Tumblr code of etiquette I apologise again))

(((I didn't mean for that above note to sound as rude as it did)))

ANYWAYS if you've read past the wall of text above to make it down here congratulations and thank you, I'll be doing my best to clean up/revise my blog and my OC and her story in the coming weeks and hopefully get some sort of continuity back on track :) I'm also trying to figure out what happened in the rest of the RP community in my absence so if I reply to a three-month-old post now: once again, it's not you, it's me, and there's totally no obligation to engage with.

Can't wait to hang out with the Batfamily again ☺️ plus all my RP siblings, half-siblings, future siblings, stepsiblings, undead siblings etc XD

#ooc

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syscourse-confessions · 1 year

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idk where to even begin, syscourse just gets me so upset

see, we've done the digging into our past, we've seen mental health professionals, we've spoken to people we trust about our childhood, and... we've come to the conclusion we are a traumatized endogenic system. we don't remember ever NOT being multiple, but we remember our trauma and what we were like before. (i feel like i should also mention we have been diagnosed with ptsd with dissociative symptoms after seeking mental healthcare for our trauma? not did or osdd.)

anyways. we feel like there's just nowhere we fit in. we support non-traumatized endos, but pro endo spaces are so full of misinformation and invalidation of trauma and disorderedness. and obviously we don't feel welcome in anti endo spaces, but it seems like most blogs we see that talk seriously and informatively about trauma and associated disorders are anti endo.

and while igss i could just say i'm traumagenic, that feels wrong. like, it doesn't matter that much that i can't interact with some blogs? it's not like not being able to reblog That One Post is a matter of life or death? also, i just don't like lying, especially not about such a fundamental aspect of our identities.

tbh i'm kind of afraid/anxious? i feel like if i talk about some of my opinions and experiences publicly either the pro endos will invalidate my trauma or roast me for thinking things like 'gee, maybe ALL systems should seriously look into the possibility of having trauma and consider how it can manifest even when you don't recall the source', or the anti endos will try to insist i'm "really traumagenic" or just flat out fakeclaim me.

i just feel like i gotta defend my own existence, like i had three whole paragraphs i deleted that basically boiled down to "please don't argue with how i choose to label my experience. i have done the damn legwork here over several decades. this is the label that best aids my mental health and recovery from my trauma." this is how bad syscourse got me stressed out from both sides.

i am also terrified someone will figure out who i am despite this being anon. since i don't know where else i'm going with this i think i'm just gonna end it here.

(Read tags)

#syscourse #the tag to block my posts is #syscourse confessions #the posts on this account do not reflect my opinions on syscourse

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vldkeith · 2 years

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(i have read the faqs don’t worry!! )

why is it that you don’t like the dirty laundry fanfic? is it just not your type of ff or?

gonna copy and paste my answers from some older posts bc i mostly still agree with what i said then!

from one post i made before:

the whole fanfic was written by a white person, so their intense focus on portraying lance’s family as homophobic is….kind of racist? like just because it’s something that actually happens doesn’t mean white people get a pass to write an entire story centering around it, a story that is honestly just angst porn wrt lance’s family. like. it’s one thing for a hispanic person to write a story like this, but quite another for a white person who has not experienced it to do so, because they’re kind of just working off of stereotypes. i dont think the person who wrote it is racist at ALL but i do think that what they chose to write and how they chose to write it kind of exemplifies the racist dynamic of america & how many white liberals view hispanic people as hopelessly conservative wrt things like homosexuality. it’s really not their place to comment on it. there are also hispanic people who agree that it is racist, so it’s not like im going against the grain here.

and from another, earlier post:

i read this like….back in 2017 when it was still semi-new (and was there to see it replaced with the bee movie script after it got so much flack, and then when it was deleted altogether) and i have to say…as literally the FIRST klance fanfic i read (i always sort by hits/kudos) it was such a BAD INTRO TO THE KLANCE DYNAMIC!! like! god ok i don’t remember it being written that horribly but the plot points were just WHACK like. kenzie mentioned yesterday the like car fight thing?!?! what the hell was that??? and lance’s family being homophobic?? lance not rly accepting keith’s “love letter” (writing the words “keith’s love letter” was painful bc keith would never DO THAT) but then trying to make up for it by like…serenading him in a mcdonalds or smth?! idk if im remembering right and tbh the most i remember from the fic was like, the roadtrip and even THAT i don’t remember a lot bc it was kind of boring and bad characterization but tbh it was just so overhyped. ppl were like “wow this is the klance fanfic this is what the fandom is founded upon” and i just don’t see it and even back then i don’t think i saw it, though i acted like i did bc i was 17 and just wanted to fit in. again it was also one of my first experiences with klance so i didnt rly have a strong frame of reference yet but man….idkidk i dont think it deserved the intense hate it got but the vaguely racist(?) (stereotypical might be a better word? racist seems a bit intense but i cant think of another word rn) undertones of how lance’s hispanic family was portrayed definitely rubs me the wrong way thinking back on it now and i just dont think the author was equipped to handle such widespread popularity given that.

i think i was actually too easy on it with this answer ^ from 2020 lmao.

it just plays into soooo many racist stereotypes about hispanic families/people and about the "drama" of gay male relationships (they get out of the car just to physically fight each other at one point like i mentioned up there) and if that wasn't enough to convince people it's just not a good fanfiction, the characterization of both keith and lance is very Off imo again as i outlined above. overall just a product of early klance fandom that is best left in the dark shadows of history, only to be resurrected as a demonstration of what you probably should not do when youre writing a mlm relationship between poc

#thanks for reading my faq gkfdshgdsfk #maybe i should include smth abt dirty laundry there ....#also thank you for the kind tone of this ask!#op💢

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bapswaffle · 1 year

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March 16, 2023

Hello. Here I am :) I think that was funny (regarding my last check in). I should be sleeping I have work tomorrow at Thornton but 🧍🏻‍♀️ here I am. I saw a few notes from my note in my phone and I thought what had happened also on my tumblr. Just an update, it’s funny how I mentioned schooling and carrington last post; well… that didn’t go well. Sometimes things happen for a reason and maybe I’m just not destined to do dental hygiene. All in all, sometimes things jsut don’t go according to plans. On my family, father dearest isn’t doing so well with his foot and hopefully things look up in the next few months for us. Last post, it was going all good and here we are first few months of 2023 and it’s not as good as 2022! As u can tell 2022 was really nice until it ended, but also mommy is doing okay with treatment just not how it was before.. but it’s okay everything will be okay! :) ate finally got together w the boy from gens👹 LMFAOOO, it’s so funny how 2022 is missing from these posts. I should’ve updated the tea 😭 but it’s all good. Robert is single and I’m unsure how his love life is going to go. Hopefully everything turns out good. Like I always expect, since we aren’t doing so well right now, it can only get better (hopefully!) maybe we can go to Disneyland this may 🥺 was going to go to edc but tbh that’s a lot of work :/ we don’t even have shuttles and stuff and hotels and 👹👹👹👹 so much work truly. Just quickly updating bc I honestly don’t even have time to sleep if I keep typing this :( but also the dog is still here, more gremlin and getting older :(((( she’s 10 now and she’s 16 pounds at her last vet. Hopefully we can see her live until she’s 16+ 🥺 and my boyfriend. Eric… Eric Eric 👹 as usual he’s still pretty good, love him a lot 🤭 can’t really live without him ❤️ o o o o o I finally got my license 🧌 LOL. Anyways thank u past me and future me for logging into tumblr to update life. Sometimes I just need a little bit of reminding. Also to compare me from before and current me. One day I’ll look back at this and be like “oh ur wrong” or truthfully I would love to say “wow I’m glad everything got better” fingers crossed, who even knows what if I get lucky 🤭 I’m in a good mood even though life is hard. But yk there’s a rainbow always after the rain 🧍🏻‍♀️ btw I got a little more in touch with my language and more fob after working at the dental offices 😭. Bro I keep forgetting I can edit this: I posted it and now I deleted the other one just so that I put it here… since I did it twice after this og one was posted… I’m trying to change my header but idk if it changed or not… OMG I forgot I kinda cut off Tania 🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️I only kept that header bc I thought I looked kinda cute in my arena days 😭 just changed it to me and ate bc yk what? It’s nice :) it’s nice to have a sister that loves me and that I live a lot! :)) I think to prevent this type of eh feeling, I’ll just change it whenever I think I got a cute photo to use on it!!! :) and that header was needed to be changed a long time ago 😭. ALSO ANOTHER UPDATE: bro I’m a little obsessed w my little doll…..

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asterism343 · 2 years

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Wait so. Hang on a second. You made that really deep post yesterday or so, yes? With the rainbow text? How'd you do that?

Okay so! Here's how you do it. This only works on desktop btw so sorry mobile users you're gonna have to switch if you want to try it. also it doesn't work if you're answering an ask or using the "chat" style of post

okay so first of all you need to be using the old post editor. You can toggle this with the switch in the top right corner.

now you need to have the text you want. you need a decent number of characters for it to work right, i'd say about 80 at least (not including spaces). how do you find how many it has? it's simple! paste the text into a google doc and use the keyboard shortcut ctrl+shift+c (or command+shift+c if you're on a Mac). this will show you your word count, and most importantly how many characters there are.

you need to cut the text in thirds, so now take that number and divide it by 3. I've got 54.667, which means two of the sections will be 55 characters and one will be 54. so i've done that. you might cut a word in half don't worry about it.

now you need to go to this website: https://www.stuffbydavid.com/textcolorizer. and you need to open three tabs of it. now paste each one into the text box here. you'll have three tabs, make sure to get them in order.

Now, if you want the exact rainbow i got, which is a pretty good one if i do say so myself, you need to do this: tab 1: set start color to #FF0000 and end color to #D1D107 tab 2: set start color to #D1D107 and end color to #0DC6FA tab 3: set start color to #0DC6FA and end color to #FA12F7

now what you need to do is (start with the first one) scroll down, find the box that says "HTML code for this text: (To use on your website)", and copy the whole thing into your google doc. or a new one it doesn't matter

then do it again with the second one, and the third one. make sure it's all in order. It's going to be pretty long, don't worry about it.

so now you'll have a google doc with this whole thing in it. and what you need to do now is get rid of all the semicolons. idk why they're there but tumblr doesn't like them. you can go and delete them all manually or you can do the easy way which i will explain now: use the keyboard shortcut ctrl+h (command+h might work but i'm not sure). then do this:

put a semicolon in the "find" slot, and don't put anything in the "replace with" slot. then hit "replace all". now it's semicolon free!

now to actually put it in a post. first thing you have to do is switch to the old post editor with the switch in the top right. you're gonna want to make sure that if your post has any images you put those in first, and any other text should ideally go in before the rainbow as well. you might want to mark where the rainbow should go with like [rainbow text here] or something.

now you need to switch to html mode. do it like this

this is what it looks like before (left) + after (right) switching to html mode.

Now, wherever you want to put your rainbow text, paste it from the google doc into your post. some of it may show up black instead of blue and purple, don't worry about that either it's just tumblr being weird.

Once you've put it in, you can hit the "preview" button to see how it will look after you post it! here's mine:

if you want it to be the small text, put <small> before the rainbow part and </small> after it.

the text colorizer does have a "colors of the rainbow" setting but tbh i don't like the rainbow that it gives you, you can barely see the yellow on a light background

oh yeah and one more thing! you can't edit the post after it's been posted, saved as draft, or queued without messing up the rainbow, unless you do this:

now, when you go to edit the post with the rainbow, it will start out in HTML mode. you should probably switch it back to rich text after though because html mode is kind of a pain to use

so yeah that's how you do it

#long post #gradient text

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djarrex · 3 years

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Hi everyone, just wanted to address what happened last night along with some other things from before that all tie in together.

There’s multiple parts to the following post - please make sure you read all of it if you’re gonna take the time to even start.

It was midnight and y'all were still jumping in on anon and telling me how I'm awful for not commenting, owning up, or taking responsibility - I should have been in bed. I have a life and job outside this app; and with the several of you in my inbox and it being too late at night to address each, I’m gonna do it now. I can’t not say something about all of this. I just can’t keep quiet and ignore the problem - it’s not fair to you all. Deleting one post already has you guys even more riled up and all I wanted to do was offer something better than a “half-hearted apology” (it was very late at night when I wrote that very short apology, and wanted a redo tbh).

I really didn't want to make a long post like this. I reached out to a select few on here because I care about them (there's more of you, but like I said, it was at the time after midnight and I was fucking exhausted). but I was being demanded for accountability. So here I am.

Allow me to be real with you all, if that's ok. If it's not, well, idk. First I wanna address all you anons, who, instead of speaking to me one on one about all this, want to criticize me and shame me and my writing when truthfully it feels like you haven't even read more than a handful of my work. I didn’t realize that I write the clones all the same way? That I always make them super aggressive and uncaring and dom? “you write every single clone as so dominant instead as unique individual men with their own personalities” Interesting. See, that right there tells me you haven't read nearly enough of my stuff for me to believe that's true. That's one accusation I absolutely will not back you on because I know it’s inaccurate - saying how I group the clones into some overly-aggressive, and uncaring category - that I always write all of them as mean in bed because they're men of color. And hey, if I do write rough smut - which yeah, it's out there and I write it, as do a lot of you - there are warnings at the beginning, aftercare, dialogue, reader sharing their feelings, and most importantly... consent between the two. That’s what warnings are for, so that you know what you’re going to be reading. That’s why I, as we all do, appreciate warnings listed at the tops of fics; honestly, write them sub or dom or switch or however you want but don’t come at me like that. I’m sorry if I'm coming across as rude because I'm usually not, I’m one of the nicest people you’ll meet, but I will not stand idly by while you chastise my writing (writing that is pretty much the same type of stuff a lot of you write & rb with the same characters) that you haven’t read enough of to back such claims.

Next: Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart,

I get it. Really, I do. I fully understand the problem of whitewashing in SW along with almost everywhere else, and I do not agree with it. It's a huge problem, and it needs to be rectified. Now just because I don't speak publicly about it and opt out of publicly shaming TBB, doesn't mean that I agree with what’s going on. Not everyone is comfortable with sharing their opinions on a subject, no matter what that subject is or which side they're on. You live and you learn when it comes to that.

It has never been my intention to fetishize POC in my writing, which btw, the same people who are saying that it is my intention are the ones claiming I portray all of the clones as the same, aggressive men, lacking their individuality. It’s a claim that is simply not true, and I know I have followers on here to back me up on that. I know what I've written; how about you check it out and tell me that you don't see the words "soft" or "fluff" or "cuddling" or “gentle” or “tender” within my work linked in my ML. Clone character being a good partner and father? Tender love making? Holding each others faces in their hands? “We/you survived” sex? Taking care of their partner? Saying “I love you” to one another? Confirming the safe word and going slow at first? Oh my - riveting and harsh stuff - totally unacceptable.

Now: My admittedly problematic writings of Rex + Zygerria,

I went into writing that rp fic totally unaware and unknowing of the true implications. For that, I sincerely apologize. When I posted the NSFW alphabet, that’s when I was called out on that rp fic - not when I first posted it. Which the timeline doesn’t matter, I know that, but it concerns me a little bit that no one spoke up about it sooner - letting me dig myself deeper into a hole that I didn’t realize I was inside of in the first place. I've apologized once, and I know that doesn't negate what happened; I acknowledged my mistake back then, but I suppose that wasn’t good enough. I had asked you, anon, to message me to give me guidance, to teach me on what to do about the fic - you stayed hidden. Well, respectfully, what the fuck? I know we're all adults but don't lecture me and avoid me when I’d literally reached out for guidance on how to properly rectify the issue. I fixed my wording in some of my fics (the things I’ve caught upon rereading them) because I recognized and more importantly learned about and from my mistakes along with the unintentional negative implications of how I wrote those characters. Some of y'all wanna tell me that I "haven't learned"? Who are you, my personal blog police? My professor? My life coach? Are you even my friend? If I'm wrong and haven't learned, then fucking educate me. I worked hard on that rp fic, just like I do with a majority of what I write, but it doesn’t matter because I will delete it knowing that it’s harmful to others and I apologize for inadvertently romanticizing slavery with what I wrote - it was unintentional, and I’m truly sorry to those who have been hurt by it. I know it’s wrong, and there’s no proper excuse for it. Can’t go back in time, but consider it gone now.

Since that first wakeup call, I’ve been working hard to ensure I avoid using certain words and ideas when describing the clones in my fics. If there’s still something you see that isn’t correct or is inappropriate, please tell me! Don’t hold it in but then jump on the “attack M” bandwagon. Private message me, or come peacefully off or on anon, there will be no hard feelings. I don’t mind being corrected when I make a mistake - that’s just part of life, we all make mistakes and we live and learn from them. Making mistakes doesn’t = scumbag human. When you hold your breath and choose not to take the time to guide me, and if I appear to still be making the same mistakes, well, idk. I’m telling you right now that I do not mind if you message me with the good intention of pushing me in the right direction. When you come at me with hostility on anon, well, no thank you. To the anons that came without rage: thank you! I read what you wrote, and I have a better understanding as to how my writing had hurt the lovely followers of mine, and tried to address as much as possible in this post. See, angry mob anons? It costs zero credits to be kind and offer up your thoughts and advice with a good heart. I’m not going to hate you or block you if you try to correct me. I don’t block unless you’re a snoopin’ minor. Just don’t hold a knife to my throat.

Now: Why did I delete the tags and then my response to that anon ask?

Simply put: I felt awful. Deleting it doesn’t immediately mean I’m hiding from it and ignoring the issue. I wanted to come up with a better apology, explanation, whatever you wanna call it, because my followers deserve that. The ones who enjoy my work, the ones who interact, the ones who I call my friends, the ones who know that I’m a good person. Didn’t want to leave the tags/post floating around all night, giving more people time to sharpen their pitchforks and join the mob while I attempted to sleep. Trust me, I know saying that I had no ill intentions when tagging that post doesn’t make it better nor does it make it go away. I’m just trying to show you my point of view, that I knew immediately how I should not have tagged it that way, so that’s why I deleted them. I corrected my mistake. But y’all are too fucking quick I swear.

One more thing:

I know some of you who had called me out with the passive-aggressive inbox messages are still following me, and for what? You don’t like what I post, which is why one would follow another in the first place, so why bother sticking around? Do you feel like you need to police my blog? You want to be there the literal minute I make a mistake? I’m gonna turn off anon for a bit, so if you wanna discuss, message me. Just know that if you’re going to come at me with knives out, I probably won’t reply to you.

To conclude:

I’m sorry. Truly sorry for the entire Rex + Zygerria outfit + slaver ordeal with both the fic from a while ago and then the tags from last night. We can’t go back in time; the only option is to correct past mistakes that are able to be corrected, and then move on with new knowledge that’ll aid in me working even harder to ensure my writing isn’t inappropriate or offensive, and doesn’t hurt my followers nor the characters I write for. I’m still going to write self-indulgent filth and fluff, post-order 66 Rex, and other misc shit. I enjoy writing fanfic, as I know a lot of you enjoy reading what I write and love to talk to me about it. I hope that this didn’t come off as me being a bitch, because I’m really not. I enjoy interacting with the handful of people on here that I’d call my friends, and I love reading your reactions and tags to my fics when you’re excited and/or horny (LOL). It’s just after lunch time where I’m at, so I hope you have a great rest of the day/night/morning whatever for wherever you are.

#long post #m personal

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pr · 3 years

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between bisluthq and the swiftgron patreon podcast idk anyone else that has monetized their hot takes. BUT what I find really interesting is both of them starting to push the "Toe is real" narrative around the same time which makes me feel like they either got contacted or are involved with Taylor's team and are doing it on purpose. There's no room to discuss the possibility of Joe being a beard anywhere publicly anymore because people get attacked no matter which Gaylor pairing is discussed, and tbh it feels like a giant narrative/PR push from higher up than just normal fandom talk since it ramped up so suddenly. I've only been following this fandom for a few months (like 3 i think) and in that time I saw the number of people joining in slowly increase, until it skyrocketed around the Fearless announcement (specifically talking about the GaylorSwift subreddit getting new mods a couple of weeks prior to that, and then the number of followers for that sub going from 1.5k to over 2k in the month since - in fact, over 100 people have joined it in the past 5 days alone) but talks of Gaylor are getting seriously buried and suppressed from people attacking those that comment to posts and comments getting straight up deleted (and a lot of the people doing the attacking are relatively new accounts, and we know of fake accounts being used by Taylor's PR team already). Interestingly, the monetization of the first blog I mentioned also happened around the same time as all of this, while the patreon podcast had been going on since before I joined the fandom. What I'm trying to say is, everything smells way too fishy for me and it's highly suspicious.

I'm only posting this because my guy

I own the r/GaylorSwift subreddit

and we are absolutely not silencing the Toe not being real narrative lol. Like I literally just made three flairs - Toe disbelief, Toe plausibility, and Toe neutral discussion - because we are sick to death of watching each side tear at each other's throats each and every time. Everyone has a space to discuss their theories without being harassed!

Also I'm still hiring mods lol, the amount of shit we have to keep up with is shockingly insane. You should see the names we get called in Modmail just because we're doing our jobs. Ugh. So yeah that's why there's been a massive mod increase.

In addition to that, I am a public relations student and when we do social media audits, Tumblr is not a social media platform we even consider when laying out objectives and goals for our clients. Taylor's not even on here anymore (and for good reason), so why would they have any investment financially or strategically in what the like 500 of us Gaylors do? There is no way in hell anyone on here is connected to Taylor's team.

If it was gonna be anyone it would be ME, yes I am putting myself out there hi @tree-paine if you are on here, I graduate with a BA in PR in December and would love to discuss how we can monetize the Tumblr Gaylor fandom and push a Toe legitimacy campaign that increases engagement with Joe's social media profiles by 5% each month and by the end of Q4 in 2022 will completely eliminate us Unhingeds entirely, I'll send you my resume toodaloo~

#gaylor #asks #anons #needless drama

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lilolilyr · 3 years

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Tagged by @ongreenergrasses, thank you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Way over 300! Tho it feels like it's been at 300sth so long by now, it'll be weird to look at once it hits 400 :D

Btw, funny how this tag meme asks for so much stuff that can be looked up by just... looking at my Ao3... without asking for any commentary by me? Lol

Anyhow, rest under the readmore bc this is 20 questions and Long!

Personal post - do not reblog

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

995596 - just a few more ficlets or 1 longer fic, and I've got a Million! Hey, maybe I should try to write one with... 4404? (I'd need to ask a calculator xD) words exactly... not rly a hardship with how many drabble exercises (exact wordcounts, 100 is the most used, I also do 200, 500, longest was 10000 exactly lol) I've already done... we'll see!

Over 400k for this year alone, and over half of that is my actual writing (not translations etc), I'm so proud! Last year I only barely hit 200k and that included a lot of translating work

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Again, one could look this up in my works filtered - sorted by kudos? But all three of my incubus!jaskier witcher series are in it, part 2 of the series is highest with 1091 kudos, then a Venom halloween oneshot, and 'Belonging', a fluffy snake-crowley piece from my ineffable spouses series (yes, sth with under 1k words - 666 to be exact - is in the top 5... my poor longfics lol)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

...I try to? But atm I have 202 unanswered (and I always click 'mark read' on replies so these are all comments on my own fic) even tho I told myself I'd not let it get past 200, and now I'm doing a tag meme instead of replying to anything so ummmm

Edit: 203 unread now

But I do love love love all the comments I get! And while atm it's still semi-manageable, if it ever gets to the point where I really can't manage to reply to everyone cause it's too much, i'd rly take that as a compliment lol :D I'd still try to reply to the longer and/or more thought through comments tho :)

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

*thinks* I have an MCD fic? But not only is that very much a case of ~posting a draft version that's barely in complete sentences insgead of taking the time to turn it into a real longfic~, I also just killed off the mlm couple I only semi care about and left the wlw couple with a happy/hopeful (rly don't remember) ending, so... hm idk whether that counts for angsty ending

Apart from that... I dunno, I just prefer my babies to be happy and fluffy? *.* i remember a mirror milippa in the mirrorverse one where in the end Michael is worried about lying to Philippa about her identity... there are some angsty TOG and Gomens ones but I think they end happy-ish (my memory is. Bad. but looking through my 'angst' tag I just saw a lot of h/c and 'angst with a happy ending')

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

They're all happy???!?

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Ahahahahahhahahaahaha

Check this out

I need you to know that all the works in that collection take part in the same universe (or rather, multiverse), and are alltogether just scratching the surface of my gigantic headcanon multiverse that I've been building in my mind since I was like 10

Actual crossovers other than that I don't remember writing

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yeh but I only remember clicking 'delete comment', as it should be

Recently I've just gotten a bunch of 'you Need to continue this' and 'omg why isn't there more' or 'this shouldn't end' type comments, not hate, probably not meant maliciously, but So Annoying (maybe espesh bc I don't want to just hit delete on these, but I also don't want to pretend it's fine, but I also don't have the energy for a fight, and trying to explain why that behaviour is entitled and annoying and that I write what I want to write and nice comments should praise what I actually have written, and hoping that they understand and don't get mad is... hard.)

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Check out my rated E and rated M in my works

Mostly femslash lately, but I did also write other smut in the past

Most is a bit dominant/submissive play, but I do also like good fluffy smut with feelings! Best in combo, really :D

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not in the sense of pretending someone else wrote it (that i know of), but posted to other sites without my permission - writing 'don't repost to other sites' etc did Not help, they even copied those tags lol, so I just let it be, choosing my battles wisely etcetc, I'd prefer for my fic not to be cross-posted by others bc then I can't edit or otherwise influence the fic anymore and don't see everyone's reactions to it, but as long as it's not someone pretending they wrote it, I only semi care, not enough to fight it tbh

PSA: I Only post fics to Ao3 (and WIPs/prompt fills to tumblr&discord at times), if you see them somewhere else that's Not Me and you'd do me a favour by checking them out on ao3 and kudosing&commenting there instead :)

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup, one to Russian a while back, a floreleine (Gunpowder Milkshake) one to Korean just today actually, and I translated a bunch to German myself

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I made a TOG fic together with @cinnamonplums, well mostly I wrote and she made the art :D

Trying to remember whether I ever actually co-wrote anything... don't think so?

13. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Don't make me choose!!!

Atm Milippa is OTP bc I'm busy writing them for @discoveryfemslashfortnight (this is not a post to reblog for the fortnight), but I'm also still rly into Floreleine, Bering&Wells and Andromaquynh and Andronilynh, and I read a lot of Mirandy lately

All-time favs I'm not rly active in atm but will always be dear to me are the ineffable spouses, clintcoulson, heistwives, gosh so many more I'll stop here tho xD

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A Heistwives Kinda Job immediately comes to mind

I also rly want to finish at least one cohesive original-ish storyline for the lverse that I already linked for the crossover question above, but I just have so much backstory (it's been over 10 years!!!) and it's... hard...

And everything else that's still WIP and untouched for more than a few months will probably have the same fate lol

Also have a few that haven't even seen the light of day at all, most recent a Mirandy ~what if Andy had been pregnant when Miranda hired her and how would it change the entire storyline~ bit - I wrote it in bulletpoints in one go as quickly as I could, I know I had the finished product in my mind, I don't remember anything now and don't feel like going through the bulletpoints painstakenly filling in the blanks

15. What are your writing strengths?

Writing one-shots quickly in one go

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Forgetting everything about a fic if I leave it in a draft for a second too long

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

There are many ways to go about it, and I think they all work (depending on the fic and the length and relevance of the dialogue)

I tend to leave single sentences as is, and for longer and important sequences use cursive and 'they said in xylanguage'.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

The Hobbit apparently? I remember thinking that fic was so long lol, it's 3k

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Kat/Ana from Reef Break, they have Such Shippable Chemistry, and it would totally fit Kat's player personality to bang both siblings (she's canonically friends with benefits with Ana's half-brother)... but the ship has one (1!) fic on Ao3 *cries*

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

TOG Andromaquynh longfic In Your Stead has had the title since last year and probably for a while to come! I loved the story idea so much I really worked with several drafts and only! worked on that fic until it was finished so I wouldn't get distracted & forget about it, and the result was wonderful.

Tagging, if you want to do it, @sarah-fiers @purlturtle @cookie-sheet-toboggan @ussjellyfish @onaperduamedee @startrekgeorgiouery @rosalie-starfall @lonely-night @banashee @xvnot15 and everyone else who sees this

Questions to copy:

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? 7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? 8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? 9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? 10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 11. Have you ever had a fic translated? 12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 13. What’s your all time favorite ship? 14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? 15. What are your writing strengths? 16. What are your writing weaknesses? 17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? 19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

#tagging meme #tagged #mine #ongreenergrasses #ao3 tag #ao3 link #lilolilyrae #sept'21 #personal #Personal 2021 #28.09.21

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kiefbowl · 3 years

Note

this is random but how long have you been using this account? i remember you as some of the first people i followed when i discovered radical feminism

I had to look up my archive to remember but it looks like I started this blog in June of 2016, as long as I didn’t delete all post prior to June for some reason (I don’t really delete posts, it’s too much work lol. try not to go fishing for anything embarrassing I beg everyone). I would have been aawb then. Plus that timeline feels right, because I had to remake bc around that time ish tumblr out of nowhere reset everyone’s passwords and my email address was tied to a college email I didn’t have access too and there was no recovery. so I had a side blog for about a year or two as radfemeudaimonia, then tumblr reset people’s passwords, and I could only access that blog and my other blogs at the time via the app because that never logged me out. I did that for like 2-3 months, and then gave up and just abandoned those and remade a new account as aawb. Before making radfemuedaimonia, I had been on tumblr on my main account for like who even knows how long, but years. So I’ve been around on tumblr a long time. I changed my url from aawb to kiefbowl probably around nov/dec of 2017, which is weird to realize that because I thought I was aawb for a really long time, but I guess not and I’ve been kiefbowl for longer now. anyway, that’s my rambling history on tumblr, which is not really what you asked for, but I’m glad you asked because I had to look up and take stock of my history which is good to do from time to time and gd I’ve been here a long time lol.

If you’ve been here a long time with me, you’ve probably notice I’ve changed how I use tumblr a lot. Tumblr used to be so so so important to me in expressing my ideas and finding theory on feminism and connecting with other women. I was also younger, under employed, struggling, angry as fuck, and super depressed. I would spend a lot more time trying to get well written “discourse” posts out there and answered a lot more asks. I def think my edge has dulled a bit, for better and for worse. I’ve come to terms with the ways tumblr has also been very unproductive and unhealthy for me as well, and I’m just older. The need for validation was something I was blind to at 25, I realize how important that was for me in hindsight, and now it’s not that important to me. I know what I believe, I know how I act, I know what’s incongruent, I don’t really need strangers weighing in, even if I like them. I feel I know a lot of mutuals, but I also have come to terms we don’t really know each other. There are a lot of people on radblr (whatever that means) I admire for their posts or attitude or jokes, but I know we might not actually get along if we met in real life. Lately, I’m more focused on my immediate community. I’m trying to put a lot of energy into my irl relationships (including the men I know!) because I think that’s more worthwhile of my time and you have to put what you read into practice at some point. You have to see what the consequences of your words in real time, it’s at times surprising and humbling, which makes it worthwhile.

I have met a few people from tumblr in real life. some of it has worked out, some of it hasn’t. some of it not working is my fault, bc I had a lot of dips in depression over the past few years. I think about reaching out to them and making it better all the time, and I think I will once covid is done. I met up with someone once and I got creepy anons I ignored who knew about it at some point and then she published a couple anons that creeped me out too (I don’t know if she realizes it) and unfortunately that was one of the reasons I put some distance between us, not that I was conscious of it really but I see it now in hindsight, and became reeeeeaaaally conscious of what I said and posted here and who I met up with, which since has been one other person and no one else. These were people going “I’m so excited to hear you met up with x” and she got an anon she published that said “I think you and aawb should start dating” and I was like “okay there be freaks on tumblr” and since then I just really put a lot of distance between me and the non mutuals here. It’s very clear between me and other mutuals who are “big” (whatever that means tbh) that I’ve talked to it about that there are unwell people on tumblr who project a whole lot of shit onto you even if they admire you. Psychologically, that can wear on you more than dumbass misogynists who argue with you, because they’re just flash in the pan and to them you’re faceless, you’re anybody, you don’t matter. But people who are sycophantic think they know you (not suggesting you are anon, your ask seems completely reasonable. I ignore shit like that now, I’ve stop publishing those anons) and they say weird stuff that is like...dumb. like “you’re the smartest person in the world” or whatever and it’s like, obviously that is not true and it’s not actually appreciated. I’m just regular, we’re all regular people on here.

I’ll be real, I think about archiving this blog by keeping my posts I like and am proud of and deleting everything else, and not deactivating but bouncing. At one point or another, tumblr is going to phase out of my life. It’s probably going to happen sooner than later, I just feel old at this point and sometimes I find it a little embarrassing idk.

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my blog and I’ve helped you in whatever ways I have to help you find feminism. I hope you keep at it and remember to talk to as many women as possible as much as you can! :)

It was fun decompressing my history with this anon, it’s actually helped me a little gain some perspective, so thank you anon, even if that wasn’t your intention lol. I do what I want lmao.

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haknew · 3 years

Note

pls talk about your thoughts about chanhee and also the other concepts!! I always have such a hard time interpreting music and videos but i love to read about it

“bestie pls share ur thoughts on make your own concepts specifically chanhee’s but any others that are ur fave too 🎤- mar”

omg mar thank you for enabling me all day today 😭🥺🧡 thenks bestie ily :,)) and thank you too anon ! i should preface that T-T i have not read any other theories or analyses so these are just my opinions / impressions but i hope it’s entertaining to read about haha :p ! (feel free @ anyone to add on or share your thoughts too ! :,))

HYUNJAE - okay so audio cues... if you listen to the beginning there’s a sound of a bomb going off before the music starts ? and that ties into the dystopian / cyborg aesthetics that jump out at me of course, but what i immediately thought of was their no air perfo ? like we know hyunjae in the no air mv got that shot where he’s laying in the bathtub filled with water but also their kingdom performance with it also had those underwater shots ! so i think it ties into that... i feel like we saw in gen z, he’s a very straightforward person he says things on his mind which can come off as blunt but he thinks it’s better than not saying it ? which is interesting bc i think that speaks to his self- determined personality, he’s much more inclined to do whatever it takes to get something done, which i think falls perfectly in line with the “make your own air” phrase that he gets, if it’s something he needs he makes it himself, in a situational sense methinks u.u

JUYEON - JUYEON’S DJSKHDG i’m waiting for dri’s essay but in essence we see the gen z “juyeon is not such a good boy” shot and these text bubbles that pop up that say “sexy” “you so hot” “such a bad boy” and tbh i like this ‘concept’ ? for him better than his gen z one ? it’s not bc of the concept itself but i like the idea that he can “make your own character” as in he has the capability and power to be whoever he wants to ! you see him throwing white paint at the gen z canvas and i think ?! that’s symbolic of like a fresh canvas ! of remaking himself to whatever he wants bc the canvas is now blank again thanks to the white paint and flowers usually indicate spring ? so renewal and stuff like that ! i really like his, it’s also fun word play on “character” which has been juyeon’s intro in tbz (bc his name sounds like main character in korean) but yea :o ! i really love his the idea he can just repaint / paint over a literal image of him gives it the possibility of becoming smth new and that’s so so cool

CHANGMIN - SCREEEEECH okie um oh boy um *windows shutting down noises* this was so so so very different from his gen z stuff but i actually think BOTH are equally perfect for him ? the way that he set up the sparklers and neon lights on this very obviously trashy and kind of rundown rooftop with the cityline behind him is so ?!?!? LITERALLY making his own stage as his tagline goes, sort of like how the physical stage itself does not matter but rather it’s changmin himself that makes the stage special ! i talked about this in gabi’s set that i rbed ;-;/ but changmin puts a lot A LOT of stake in his position as a dancer it means almost everything to him as a form of expression from what i can see ? so he’s always trying his best to put forward the best performance possible and seeing this segment makes me feel like he’s doing just that ! pouring himself into it to make his stage pls i care him

HAKNYEON - god i’m a jusadan but just u.u rest in peace me, i’ll ... T_T be kind of honest this one confuses me a little ? i have assumptions and i feel like i know ... quite a bit about haknyeon (LMAO) my best guess is it has smth to do with self assurance ...? the way he’s framed and the fact that he’s sitting on a bed in the middle of a church surrounded by candles gives me christ figure symbolism (where my ap english takers at :/) and the light that perfectly frames him in a halo gives me angel vibes too, but the tagline of “make your own romance” paired with him kissing his reflection makes me think it’s about self love ;;;; from what i can tell haknyeon has always been someone who really likes feeling validated and praised for the stuff he does well, which he does for himself a lot of the times too ! but sometimes i think the self assurances he compliments himself with is more for reassuring himself rather than bragging (which i think people misinterpret) so it’s more about becoming the person he wants to fully love and being happie with himself which *tears* i might be reading too much into who knows i just love him ok ... U.U

KEBINNN - i know !!! dri mentioned this in my gifset tags but ! kev on kpop daebak (? was it) or smth mentioned how he strives to keep a childlike wonderment for the world around him, which is a reason why i think he loves drawing and sound / music production, he talked in a fancafe post once about an artist who turned mediocre everyday objects into art and he said he really loves that sense of wonderment so peter pan who “never grows up” is actually perfect for his worldview ahhhh T^T also kev really likes disney lmao, the way he’s doing this outside in this “neverland” garden on a balcony which is a part of this very typical apartment backed by a typical city bg also i believe ties into this turning a mediocre everyday thing into smth wonderful through his sense of childlike wonderment and his tagline of “make your own fantasy” (i also care him a lot this concept >>>>>>) and keeps to his referencing movie plotlines like he did in gen z jddkfj

SUNWOO - i also mentioned this in my tags on sunu’s set but this gives me 100 degrees vibes which i still to this day think is one of the most “sunwoo” vibe things ever, it’s a lot of him having fun and doing his own thing, and mixes both more mature and youthful aspects together in a way that i’d only ever describe as sunwoo vibes LMAO like the roller skating around and all the soap bubbles ! cute and youthful ! the crop top and celine wasitband (don’t laugh at me we all noticed) more mature and a callback to his gen z look methinks U.u, think sunwoo has always been a more go-with-the-flow or do whatever he feels like doing sort of person and so “make your own vibe” fits well with him in that sense to me

SANGYEON - .... *silence* *more windows shutting down noises* *jess.exe has stopped working* OKAY i feel like ! sangyeon’s is also more self explanatory :p i love the juxtaposition of boxing AND the arcade type fighter games ?? like both require very different sets of skills i feel like one is more physical the other is more mental ? but both require adapting to changes whether in the game or the boxing ring which as leader sangyeon would know a lot about, esp being flexible and quick to respond to different situations, and the “make your own glory” i feel is maybe more on the nose, but tbz are this man’s pride and joy you can see it literally anywhere and for him, as leader, to have made it this far with tbz, winning rtk and building their popularity through their hard work and efforts really is building his own glory and i just HHHHHHHHHH

YES EYYSFDHSHF CHANHEE YES - i said it in the tags of my srb before deleting it so i’ll just repeat it here but CHOI CHANHEE !!!!! this detail i didn’t quite process first watch was the continuous flashing of lights in all his scenes, like ... from the shots and the set it looks REALLY empty ?? but the flashing seems to indicate cameras and photos being taken of him despite there being no people we can really see in any of the shots ? WHICH IS SO COOL i think the implication is like “all eyes on him” type which SO TRU i love that idea, like i said the walking past the wedding dresses ? v heavily implies fashion designer which i think you mentioned mar :o ! and i see it in the sense of his tagline “make your own stereotype” bc white wedding dresses are the very traditional / typical choice and obviously feminine in stereotypes, whereas chanhee is wearing a SUIT which is all black in a very clean b/w set with no color which i feel is very stereotypically MASCULINE and the glasses too, it’s such an interesting contrast of his “stereotypically feminine” features (in my view) with very masculine symbols, like glasses we usually associate with more soft hearted / meek stereotypes ? but the geometric shape of the windows and again his suit seems to indicate the very opposite ? it’s a mixing of stereotypes which i think is the point, by putting those together he quite literally makes his own stereotype and puts on the crown while the cameras continue flashing while pointed at him AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOUNGHOON - okie might have less to say about this one :o i feel like both hak’s and younghoon’s i don’t see the connections quite as readily but ! i think it’s interesting that his tagline is “make your own classic” but then in the scenes itself he has a flip phone ??? with an antenna (okay boomer /j JDHFKFG JK PLS) and a teddy bear while in PERIOD stylized clothing and setting where those two things are more modern / contemporary in origin (but also not modern enough bc ,,, it’s a flip phone LOL) like 90s kid vibes ? you know but as an emperor in the joseon era haha :p while eating shrimp chips and reading a (comic ?) book, like idk too much of what it means but it’s a cool dichotomy LOL, think it might also tie into actor ! hoon bc it’s make your own classic and i think acting has become a very important aspect to him :o after seeing what he’s capable of in love revolution and his atbz video so it’s interesting u.u (need help w/ this one)

JACOB - think my explanation in han’s set’s tags didn’t really make sense so lemme ... reexplain LOL,,, so ! similar to his gen z video ? like he’s talked about how difficult it is to open up about his own feelings etc. and he said it’s less bc he realizes he needs to but rather just to make other people feel more comfortable when it comes to understanding him, and like the whole breaking the mirror with his reflection in the wanna be angry jacob, it’s about freeing himself to the point he can express the emotions he wants to ! in gen z it was about being able to be angry when he felt that way instead of being tied by his image of being just nice ? and in the video with his pilot uniform not only does he control the ride but he also rides on it himself ! quite literally making his own freedom (symbolically), a sort of realizing he can free himself ? from what’s been tying him down and i think the really big smile he has while riding it just comes to show how he wants to feel :,))) (jacob bae i care you)

ERIC - last one :p AHHH this is one of my favs too, the quite literal “make your own pride” I LOVE IT ! sooo i think the biggest takeaway i got was that of course in this video his “pride” is symbolized by the hot pink car (that he’s going to pick up his christmassy date in of course u.u if he has a license which he does n- his driver’s license in this was literally his aaa / boy version of reveal photo which in no dmv anywhere would a license picture be allowed to look that good-) and LITERALLY when he finished and takes it for a joy ride while sitting on the roof he’s STILL covered in the dirt and grime stains ! from working on it ! which i think is so symbolic ! it’s my favorite detail actually, he literally put sweat into this car which is his pride and now that he’s finally riding around in it, it feels accomplishing ! his pride ! love that, also when he’s grabbing a stub from that flyer i noticed he chose “youth” over the others (which was like .... ca$h, beauty, ice cream, hamburger...) which i think also just indicates that despite all this hard work he put in he still cherishes his youth and still lets that be a huge part of who he is (i mean pink car so of course) so idk i think it’s very neat go bestie mwah

#sunnew #anon #asks #not tbz #jess.replies #be your own king analysis #I WROTE SO MUCH PLS #even more than my gen z analysis i think #anyway if anyone reads all of this oof thank you #HHHEEELP #i just did all of them ....#my weakest ones are def hak sunwoo yh #idk but i like what i came up with for the others ! ^^#i've seen a few twt threads but haven't read any lol #wrote the most about chanhee but no one is surprised of course

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fragile-heartt · 3 years

Text

omg hello all. @divine-mistake tagged me in a cute lil questionnaire that I thought I might do because why not?

1. why did you choose your url?

Well. I guess I'm a super emotional person and a lot of the time I feel kinda fragile emotionally? Like I will break into tears pretty easily over a lot of stuff. So. yeah. I've got a fragile little heart. that is me. But I'm thinking of changing it having it convey how I am completely unhinged, sexy as hell, and also sleepy as a motherfucker. So if anyone has any ideas on a username that would embody all that, lmk please.

2. any side blogs?

HAHAHAHAHAHA nope. All my chaos is right here, in this wonderful little blog.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

ohhhhhhh boy. I was first on tumblr in 2012? I think I started this one though in 2014 though because I let a boy I dated follow me on my old one and I couldn't figure out how to block him bc I was only ever on mobile and it was just a mess. I also didn't know how to delete my blog so it's still out there. lmaooo. so I just made a new one and here we are. So I've been here for a long, long time.

4. do you have a queue tag?

#queue queue queue

but it is important that you know to say it like the star wars blasters sound effects, like a good pew pew pew

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

Tbh I don't know. I must have heard about it, seen people post tumblr posts on instagram or twitter or something, and then decided to make my own account on here? idk idk.

6. why did you choose your icon?

so it is a picture of me that one of my exes took that I think is kinda nice and doesn't have my face in it bc wooo boy I'm self conscious. and also if anyone i know in real life found my blog i think i would die. i should probably find another icon tbh this one is too obviously me lmao

7. why did you choose your header?

i am a slut for space. i love stars and shit. pluto is my main bitch tho. i love her. so maybe i'll change it to pluto? not sure.

8. what's your post with the most notes?

it is my pinned post, and coincidentally the first ever original post i ever made on this website. and i only made it two months ago! it already has a whole 7 notes so watch out world, big things will be happening here at fragile-heartt

9. how many mutuals do you have?

I actually have no idea. I only talk to a few, but I cherish each and every one of you

10. how many followers do you have?

472, but I'm pretty sure a solid amount are bots? idk

11. how many people do you follow?

591 and growing every day HAHAHA I think I've only unfollowed a few people since 2014? So this is 7 years worth of follows

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

not in the technical term, i don't think? actually maybe? but probably not. i think i've only made like... 5 posts total ever. so

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

uhhhhh anywhere from i forget about it for a week to a solid 7-10 hours in a day? I read a lot at night and I've got insomnia so sometimes I'm just reading from 11pm to 6am plus all my scrolling during the day

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

I've only really started interacting with people on tumblr the past two or so months? So no. And I would never want to, anyway. I left my internet drama days behind me once I graduated high school.

15. how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?

I have blocked them from my memory. When I see them, no I didn't. I seriously cannot even remember the last one I came across or what they even really are about? Like is it trying to raise awareness for a social justice issue/current event and stuff like that? I seriously don't know.

16. do you like tag games?

yes omg. please tag me in things. I love interacting with all you guys

17. do you like ask games?

again. I love any interaction. i have never played an ask game? like i've never been able to host one and have people send me asks. but i love sending people asks for ask games! always a fun time

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? bro idk. tumblr fame seems like such a strange concept to me. They all deserve to have lots of followers though, and lots of interaction on their posts and stuff bc they're all amazing and talented and I love them all

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

OMG DO I. I've got the biggest crush on all my writer mutuals. YOURE ALL SO TALENTED I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AHHHH MY HEART IS SO FULL WITH ALL OF MY LOVE FOR YOU GUYS. I would smooch each and every one of you

20. no pressure tags:

@loving-bucky-is-easier @mallowswriting @waytoomanyships @werepup-sweetwolf @steppedoffaflight and anyone else that wants to bc why not. i would tag a bunch more people but i am nervous! do all you guys like me? do you still remember you follow me? idk idk! I am an anxious mess hsdfbhsdbfhb

ANYWAY if you're reading this and you made it through all this nonsense, I love you. you're the best.

#tag game #i was tagged!#about me

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icharchivist · 3 years

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I have finished winter troupe debut episode! It was very dramatic lmao. Was enjoyable though. Winter troupe all had very interesting characters and It's nice to see a troupe that is all adults.

Since I complained about spring troupe issues being solved by not talking about it. I have to talk about how winter troupes issues were solved by literal outside forces trapping them or letting them read peoples minds.

I'm guessing they did this because unlike the teens who are more willing to be open about themselves and pester others,,,, adults are a lot less likely. (Before winter the adults were, sakyo, and itaru? cause the uni students aren't really adults yet. sakyo opens up to Izumi because he knows and trusts her. Itaru. Hasn't really opened up yet but he's getting there.) Whereas winter troupe is a group of strangers and the two who know each other literally are in the middle of massive misunderstanding/fight?/idk mutual disappointment.

(Also misumi just getting trapped in random time loops???? Holy shit is he ok???? Like he was able to figure it was tsumugi and tasuku this time but what if he doesn't know the people? I have so many questions)

Ok rant over. I have accepted that magic exists in a3 and all it wants is for people to get along and understand each other. But yeah once I crawl through the events and next act I have to rewatch spring hahaha. I definitely wasn't fair to them.

Homare oh my god. Just. Holds gently. I want to protect him. No one deserves to be called a broken cyborg :(

Gahhh all of winter troupe I just want to protect.

Also I saw fuyupoly is a thing? Because I'm excited to see the troupe develop more.

(you said you had a Google drive of the inbetween acts events :eyes: should I message you or something?)

tHEY’RE SO DRAMATIC I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.....

And yeah tbh when you talked about Spring having communication problems my first thought was “oh BOY you haven’t seen Winter yet” DLKFJDLFKJDFLKJDFLK

I. think about Winter much more than i should but yeah, pretty much it’s the fact they’re adults and strangers and just. are extremely conflict avoidant, all of them, for various reasons. Tsumugi because of his crushed confidence, Tasuku because he struggles to convey his feelings and he lost Tsumugi in the past, Hisoka because he litterally has no past and it freaks him out (Homare was spot on when he said Hisoka knew he couldn’t defend himself), Homare because he’s scared he’ll mess up again, and Azuma because he spent his life keeping people at armlength. They’re all adult and agreeable people, and they are also all pretty understanding in some way, so they let some conflict pass by hoping it will be over soon. Some of them like Tsumugi, Azuma and Homare are also pretty analytic of people on a psychological way so they can try to navigate with what they know.

But in the end without communication it’s not going very far, but they don’t really know how to do it when all of them are adults who have got used to it.

so yeah, like you said it’s really that they’re adults and that unlike the youngest ones i think it’s just. they’re all used to compromise and compromise a part of themselves as well.

but yeah the magic being the thing solving it cracks me up all the time i’m just. Like. okay. Okay cool okay. Normal. Like. Thematically wise i think it’s because Winter is a season that’s so cold and sad but there’s a bit of magic in it (like the magic of christmas) and i think that’s what it is meant to echo but that’s. so out of the blue DLKFJDKLFJDLKFJLDF that said once that just accepted i really love the way the three magical events reflects the characters (Tasuku and Tsumugi needed to reconnect and find back the comfort they had with one another and plushies are considered comfort items that helps transition into a safer place, it’s also linked to childhood and those two are childhood friends. Homare and the loupe are pretty straight forward, he needed to see closer, deeper. Azuma and Hisoka both were locked into a room, isolated, just like their past (or in Hisoka’s case what his flashbacks implies) make them feel isolated, having experienced loss).). I am FASCINATED with Winter. i just. akjhfkdhfkdjfmldjfmd?? sljhfjldk.

but aah i’m glad you enjoyed the ride so much i’m so happy!!

and god yeah please someone check on Misumi i worry for him wtf

and Homare’s arc yeah!! yeah!!! his arc is one of my fav arc i just. really love how it all plays out. It’s really rare to see a story goes “here’s a character with low empathy: and he’s the most loving and kind character you can imagine”. The way he struggles from it, how sad it makes him, this way to see himself, everything makes me want to cry for hours. I want to hold him so bad.

Fuyupoly is definitly a thing yeah. Fuyupoly my beloved. I adore Fuyupoly so much 😭 but Winter is honestly a slow burn, especially in comparaison to the rest of the teams.

I actually didn’t think much of them at first read (Azuma and Hisoka were already my favs though, i’m so soft for them)(also i say that but i know i found back screenshot of me crying about fuyu on first read so i did feel a lot but it didn’t hit me until late, how much i actually cared), and now i legit can’t stop thinking about all of them. I don’t know how much it says about their slowburn or what it says about me but; Winter.

ANYWAY congratz on finishing the main story of act 1 :3c and yeah, i’d prefer if i could share it in private (bc it’s, a lot of content and if i provide it in public this is clearly piracy and DLKFJDF i know a3 tends to take down some of this content and i’m trying to be stealthy).

Though if you don’t want to come off anon, you can tell me in another anon’s ask, i’ll link you my drive, then you’ll need to send me an ask to tell me you got it so i can delete the post, if you prefer?

anyway the drive is up and ready anytime. i just didn’t update some of the latest act 2′s events but act 1 is filled and that’s the priority. so you know also this drive includes 1) Story events, 2) the songs linked to each plays (which tells the story of the plays, def recommand it), 3) All the backstages from limited time cards i could get. Backstages linked to specific events are inside their specific event files, else the cards which didn’t come in an event are in the “Scouting file”. What’s important to read plotwise is the Event stories. The backstages are very good and i def recommand it but it may be overwhelming so you can skip them and come back later for them DLKJFLDKFJFD it’s really just the main plot of each event that you should watch.

(also i should mention only the first two events are fully voiced, the rest are just with some voicelines here and there, but i still recommand watching it bc of the mood with the music and the sprites and all)

so yeah ready to send it anytime you want !! :3c

#ichafantalks a3 #Anonymous #ichareply

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thedreadvampy · 3 years

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Like idk what you want from me here. If you want to engage me in a specific question about ace/aro identities, as I've said several times and nobody has ever actually done, then ask me the specific question. Don't fuck around with vague gestures at Points of Discourse and then get cross with me because I haven't answered the Exact Question you Didn't Ask But Expected Me To Intuit.

Preface: If you don't want to answer any of these because you are allo/allo and don't have a say because its not your place, say that. In fact, I'm asking these because you seem to do have opinions on things you shouldn't based off things you have said in the past.

I also want to state that I agree fully with your points about Martin- minus the blatant aphobia. Not just acephobia, arophobia as well.

1. Do you think qprs are problematic? I believe you once made a post saying roughly that qprs are just normal friendships, or something like that, that has since been deleted. What is your current opinion?

2. Are het aros lgbt?

3. Are het aces lgbt?

4. Cis aro/aces lgbt?

5. Cishet aro/aces?

6. Do the spectrums and micro identities exist? You've implied in the past they don't, in the post about how they were supposedly created from sex positivity

7. Can aros be in or desire romantic relationships?

8. Can aces have or desire sex?

9. Does the split attraction model exist and does it benefit people?

10. Can teenagers identify as aro/ace or do you think they're too young?

11. Can you be, say, an aroace lesbian, or an aroace gay, aroace bi, etc. Idk how to phrase this one but like can you be aroace and still id with another orientation?

I could send another anon detailing the aphobia in the post, because I at least am certainly not upset about Martin being sexual, rather it was the very blatant aphobia. It could have stemmed from ignorance, and if that's the case I don't mind explaining it.

Ok this is a lot of questions, some with quite involved answers, so I'm gonna answer them chunk by chunk so it's a bit more manageable, and then I might come back to some of the surrounding message. This isn't gonna be an immediate bang bang bang, but I'll try and work through them over the next couple of days.

Question 1

1. No, I don't think qprs are problematic. I don't necessarily understand them but I don't need to understand them to understand and respect that they're a thing that's important to a lot of people. I don't know what post you're referring to, but I'm surprised that you say it was deleted, because I very rarely delete posts except, occasionally, reblogs where people have flagged up misinformation or dogwhistles or which I reblogged by accident. tbh I'm the messiest online presence I'm way too lazy to delete past posts or block people even when I probably should bc I don't like to feel like I'm ~hiding evidence~. So I'm not saying you're wrong, you're probably totally right, but I'm surprised.

I'm thinking about what posts I've made that you could be thinking of, and obviously I don't remember everything I say on here bc I say A Lot and I actively post to get things out of my head so 🤷‍♀️ but I do remember making a post a while ago where I said that it was a normal expectation of friendship to have some friends close enough that you'll live with them, raise kids with them, etc, and I'm wondering if that was the post you're thinking of? I did have qprs in mind while writing that to a degree, but only because I think 'you wouldn't do this with your friends' is a very common argument people put forward about qprs and I think it's a weak argument, because many people have different definitions of friendship, and the only argument I think is needed for any sort of I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing is...I Have X Emotional Relationship To This Thing. Like you can't offer a universal materialist definition of the differences between romantic, queerplatonic, sexual and platonic relationships, because the boundaries are very personal and it's really an emotional and experiential difference. so if that is the post you're thinking of, I wasn't criticising The Concept Of QPRs as much as saying that I thought trying to put hard lines around What Friends Do Vs What QPPs Do was a) counterproductive when arguing with someone who thinks QPR is Just Normal Friendships bc. if they do those things with their friends then saying NO THIS IS A QPR THING just reinforces their existing belief that you're talking about the same thing as they mean by friendships and b) to me seems to set a painful expectation to young people that you can only get these kinds of close friendships occasionally and in the form of a QPR and it will be stigmatised and misunderstood (and depending on how people talk about it, is only accessible to aspec people and allo people should only expect it to come through romantic/sexual relationships), when in fact most people of most ages I know have friends with whom they can share things like housing, deep feelings, futures, finances, who they miss if they don't see for a few days, who are mutually supportive and vital to their wellbeing. I don't think that's mutually exclusive with the existence of QPRs though - like I personally don't know what the difference is between a QPR and a close friendship, but I also don't know what the difference is between a romantic relationship and a close friendship but I know there is one and I know it's not a question of What You Do but a question of How You Feel And Interact, and that's pretty hard to define in unambiguous terms.

Like generally I don't Not Think QPRs exist, and I think it's a dick move to try and tell people they're wrong about how they experience and define their relationships because???? how are you meant to know that better than the person whose relationship it is??? but I do think the way people talk about QPRs (both from the perspective of defending them and from the perspective of attacking them) is pretty rife with problems and I don't think it's invalidating the reality of QPRs to talk about where the arguments and language around them potentially falls down or has unexpected consequences.

On the other hand, I don't know if that actually is the post you're referring to - the reason I'm calling back to that is that that and a few resultant asks are the only time I remember talking about QPRs on here in the last year or so. So like, several of these questions reference past posts, which is very fair, but I do need it to be clear that, since I don't really tag anything and I don't have a great memory, I can only really speak to What I Think Now In This Context, not to what I posted in the past and what I was thinking when I posted it. Like, this isn't too deny responsibility - I reckon I'm responsible for what I post even if I don't still agree with it, which is why I don't tend to delete my own posts on purpose - but just to deny capacity, I guess? I don't really KNOW what I've posted so if you talk about it in vague terms (and I do understand that if it's been deleted there's not a lot you can do but that) I may not necessarily be responding to the part of it that's worried you, so if I'm not speaking to something specific I've said or done, it's not because I Don't Want To, I just don't necessarily know to.

I'm waffling about this because looking through your messages there's a lot of "you said X" and like. given that the intended message of the post that's kicked this off was very different to the message people have taken from it, it feels important to me to know whether if I looked at the posts you're referencing I'd be like "ah yeah I did believe that but now I believe X" or if it's more a situation of "oh right I can see how you took X from that but my thinking was more Y".

(also sometimes when people say "you made a post" they mean "you reblogged a post" and I am a compulsive discourse scroller so sometimes I reblog a random post to bookmark my place on someone's discourse blog or I accidentally longpress the reblog button while scrolling - I try to delete reblogs that I don't agree with but sometimes I miss some, all of which to say if there's a post on my blog that doesn't seem to reflect what I say in my original posts then it doesn't necessarily mean I'm a crypto-whatever so much as I'm very lazy and messy with my blog. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be held accountable for reblogs but it's useful to know if we're talking original content or reblogs bc I'm unlikely to fully accidentally make a post. but I quite often accidentally reblog stuff. I doubt this is the case with this sitch just bc of your phrasing but I want to cover my bases)

anyway tl;dr: no I don't believe that QPRs themselves are inherently problematic, nor do I think I have at any point believed that, but I do think that a lot of the language and ideas used to talk about them are based in miscommunication or absolutist ideas about relationships and can have damaging knock on effects.

#i recognise that your past ask implied that it was somehow evasive to answer in long form #so sorry but this is gonna get loooong #but I'd rather be long and honest than say something snappy and absolutist that doesn't reflect what i actually think #so yeah this is gonna go ooooooooooon

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dicennio · 4 years

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When you get this, you must publicly post something nice about at least 5 different people you follow, then copy and paste this in each of their ask boxes :^)

*cracks knuckles* let's begin

@lijeneel I thought you delete, I don't tag your art blog bc I feel that's your professional self. Thanks for what? 8-9 years? I honestly can't conceive my life without you, I know how annoying I can be and yet you're still here w me, I can say thanks but that won't be enough, it's been years and you're still my favorite person and I don't think that'll change tbh, I love you.

@svmeragi Rorosmoke Zoji-san hope life is treating well ~ pffftt Anjali you're so fun to talk with, I love teasing you a lot I should feel guilty but I am not. It's been years of following each other I can't conceive dumblr without you.

@kishitan-iis Kida's been my pleasure to share all these years w you, freaking out about Gintama, talking about Gintama, eating Gintama, dreaming w Gintama, have u noticed our conversations are basically just Gintama?? sharing x or y fanarts or crying over x chara/event, we're such a losers hahaha

@lieberts Lena you're one of my fav blogs at this moment, idk how to explain it but you're the blog I go to if I'm lacking things to reblog bc I know I'll find good things there, it's impossible not love it. Flawless content, flawless fanarts, flawless owner, the best? I discovered we can be bitter together.

@maki--ta Mila come here, let's have a drink and talk about everything and nothing. Man, I can say the ugliest shit to you and you'll get it or come back w something worse, we talk about our unbearable existence one minute and the next we're just being clows , perfect dynamic.

@sirleorio Rey of sunshine you're such a cool person, idk why seeing you on my dash always improves my mood for good, it's your charm, you and your blog have a place in my heart.

@krshima Emery I'm here cheering for you, I read a lot of things are happening there right now so I'm sending my best vibes, thanks for being such a caring person with all of us, your works, your voice, your blog are top quality just so u know.

@levizs Sophs I read ur twitter rambling about how you don't consider yourself a kind person I'm here to tell u, yes, you're in fact a kind person, with a shit ton of talent to share, I know I've said before but I'm glad u managed to come back tu dumblr, like really glad.

@naoamaya we don't talk at all bc I'm bad at it but I read your tags, I've seen how supportive you're with every content creator here and it's a bless knowing you're being kind not to please everyone but bc you're just genuinely kind. Thank u for that

@welcometothenhk your taste ma'am, your taste. we've been mutuals for years and your blog has been one of the best sources for everything, you not only make beautiful gifs but your blog per se is full of quality content, you're amazing.

@zuura Anto you're other of these genuine people who leave lovely comments in everything we made, idk how to explain but it's a nice feeling seeing someone being this kind naturally + I love how your confidence went up so u can now share your works w us all.

_______________________

@qvalcuno then again: thank you for your kindness and your support in every small thing we upload, support in these trying days is vital so from the bottom of my small heart: thank u very much

@alice-chan-chan Your editing style is so unique, I love the way you crafted it alone and I really enjoy seeing you improve progressively, you're an exceptional case bc your work is so unique, I've seen nothing like your works around and you should be proud of that.

#replies #im officially deceased #bye

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tonyglowheart · 3 years

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I genuinely don’t understand people who say aspecs are queer BUT NOT kinky people. If you’re into BDSM, if you’re polyamorous, if you’re celibate, if you’re hypersexual, if you’re in an interracial relationship. It’s all related. These are sexuality/relationship/lifestyles that don’t meet our society’s standards and are underrepresented or represented negatively and so i think they are all queer

Anon I am having thinky thoughts but also I lowkey don’t want to get into this too majorly bc I got into this several years back during said campaign I mentioned in the tags on that rb post lmfao and it resulted in a whole Thing and I like... don’t have the energy to get into internet arguments with people anymore because I’m old and tired and can’t deal with the back and forth of me making points, them ignoring the majority of my points in favor of some strawmen or appeal to extremes, me addressing that and also some points including maybe where they DO have a point about some facet I failed to consider but have now, them ignoring that and repeating their same talking points, me addressing their points again & pointing out their ad hominems that usually have come out at this point and other logical fallacies, them ignoring that to repeat- and ultimately, we’re kind of talking past each other and I’m mostly appealing to whatever audience might be around. (I think I might have priv’ed or deleted a bunch of posts from back then but some may still be up somewhere in my archive lmao.....).

So on that kind of note I don’t... necessarily want to get into an argument or debate (not necessarily with you, possibly by some other anon passing through who is much more inclined to picking a fight with me about the Affront to Them Personally as well as the sanctity of the movement) on whether or not being kinky itself constitutes being “queer” per se bc I think the terminology is a sticking point and I do kind of see the perspective of “kink doesn’t make you automatically queer” **HOWEVER** yes I do also agree with that post I rbed that like kink/fur do rather constitute “queer subcultures” even though not every single person in there is LGBT+ in a more “traditional” sense - such as speaking more towards like sexual orientation & gender identity - and that these kinds of “alternative” lifestyles do present a “queering” (*a* queering) of ^ sexuality/relationships/lifestyles or whatever we might term that. And maybe that’s what I was struggling to articulate all those yrs ago lmao, when I was young and full of the energy of the Youthe and could get into internet arguments with ppl. The like respectability politics of trying to be sanitized enough to be “acceptable” to a hostile and rigid mainstream while alienating queer subcultures, which just results in the queer community at large cutting off parts of itself to try to be/remain “acceptable” but that just leads to self-harm to the community at large vs addressing more global/bigger picture issues.

Hrmmm okay I think what this whole issue of terminology and what gets to be called “queer” kind of gets to: they’re related, as you say, but that being varying shades or scopes of marginalized, but that doesn’t necessarily make it all “queer”? Because.... tbh I can see why the full-stop is a sticking point for people, and I do kind of think operationalized terms have more value when they ARE applied with scope instead of trying to generalize it too broadly, and queer does mean something quite specific (or.. maybe not specific, but rather that “queer” DOES have parameters, tho they may be more of like a soft-shaded parameter as opposed to some kind of hard fence)?

But I do agree that usually a lot of the language people against various other kinds of marginalized identity aspects uses, mirrors, & parallels language used against other things, like language against queer people/queer relationships & interracial relationships, and that communities would be served better with solidarity rather than trying to excise or disavow other communities - ESPECIALLY communities which have a lot of overlap with the queer community and also are historical and current allies - in a futile attempt to be “respectable” enough for the hostile mainstream and its evermoving goalposts.

..But maybe I’m just quibbling a point here, because while I don’t know if I’d call kink/fur/etc “queer” and the term “queer subcultures” seems to fit better for me, this does point to “these subcultures have room within queer spaces and in fact were there at the inception of ‘queer spaces’ as we kind of conceive of it today in USmerica” (idk fur but the kink community was definitely there). And then this gets into a more philosophical question of “well if it belongs in queer spaces is it not then ‘queer.’” This may be a “this topic is complicated and multifaceted an these different arguments based on different needs and with different axes of foci can coexist.” Ultimately, I think it does come down to “exclusionary rhetoric against a marginalized identity/community - especially one that is aligned, if not overlapping or otherwise part of the “core community” at the heart of this issue - is more harmful than helpful because the goalposts of respectability will never stay put and the language used by the hegemony against one group often is reused/paralleled/mirrored in language against another marginalized group, and can very easily be turned again back against you.”

Speaking more towards the arguments re: the 'coming out' campaign backlash, like back then I was fairly active in the m/m romance GR community & more in touch with ppl who were part of kink communities who were part of the m/m GR comm, and like based on what they told me/we talked abt following the whole backlash against “coming out kinky,” is that ppl DO in fact lose their jobs get disowned get evicted etc if they're 'outed' as kinky. Which then directly parallels the vanilla queer experience. I think a sticking point back then was that 'born this way' rhetoric was more prevalent back then, and ppl see kink as more of a 'lifestyle choice' and less about something 'inherent', and also some ppl were just flat-out like 'um ew it's sexual harassment'. But I think if you look at various dynamics of kink there's like lifestyle kink which isn't necessarily inherently or always sexual so like I don't think it's automatically a sexual harassment thing, ig for me it's like... ppl reacting with SUCH backlash against the idea that kink could/should be allowed within the concept of queer spaces and that echoes that post about assassination of queer subcultures, and like coming out isn’t always “I fuck xx” or “I fuck in xx way,” like if you come out as gay you’re not necessarily describing in explicit detail to your mother the ways fuck, you know? I think for me the “coming out” thing also was kind of like... is it safe for you for people to find out x aspect about you? And I do rather think there’s greater hostility towards these kinds of subcultures, which would then perhaps elicit or illustrate a reason why we might want to normalize or educate people better on what exactly constitutes the precepts of the subculture, vs whatever popular idea of it is prevailing at the time?

..I think ultimately we go back again to “this topic is complicated because there’s many intersectional issues as well as competing needs so there’s not a one-size-fits-all ‘answer’ to the questions/issues brought up”

#queer tag #Anonymous #asks answered #long post

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