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butterflysonnets · 4 months

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yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing...#the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice…#fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too???#love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO...#like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

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tumbly-s · 11 months

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As soon as i saw this tweet, i knew I had to do it

#caitlyn kiramman #arcane #caitvi #league of legends #lol fanart #arcane fanart #i still dont really understand how tags work #do people even use them #idk im gonna keep trying #wanna see some of that engagement but gotta break out of this noname bubble first somehow #artists on tumblr #maybe that can help idk #tumblysart #gotta remember that one

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slavhew · 2 months

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Hello!

If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?

There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?

OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts

No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:

This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.

Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning

Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.

And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!

Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)

This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that

#not art #admin answers #paranatural #pnat #richard spender #pts-fic-notes-and-blog #before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them #this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell #he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those #to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness #has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count #to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said #also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats #sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him #its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF #which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him #so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time #TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol

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f0xgl0v3 · 28 days

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I did something again guys.

Uh, that’s Camp Half-Blood Mercury (uh, Mercury lore- she is technically a Greek demigod and cannonically does have curls. The magical world where she doesn’t straighten them to hades and back lol-) and @percexe’s really silly oc, Sawyer. They live in my head now, they are so silly.

Uh- it’s too late for me to re-line this and uh, finalize it and colors (I have school tomorrow) but, here’s some warm up I did to try and get used to drawing Sawyer for consolation :3

(It is also, sadly unfinished)

#hehe :3 #uhhh #Mercury is a silly-#idk how to tag this #pjo hoo toa #pjo ocs #?#can anyone tell Sawyer is my favorite lol-?#I like Ollie too I wish I had the will power to draw a little of Ollie-#oh well #I don’t really like the first two panels(?) Sawyer’s face looks off #just didn’t draw them enough to get a sense of how I’d stylize them-#I’ll work on it-#okay bye #(I was tired and therefore they got to stay in the same poses and that’s why Chiron has the ominous waiting for the principal set-up lol-#)

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turtleplushi · 3 months

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Some drawings I made earlier and yesterday

#reposting this because god that was way too many tags last time #i really like rambling but wow that was a lot #well its gone forever now (whoops)#noir max #sam and max #max sam and max #leonardo rottmnt #leo rottmnt #hello kitty #uh.. gooey??#idk if i want this in the kirby tags lol #oh by the way if anyone knows who made that how to draw leo tutorial please let me know #their art is so cool but pinterest sucks and didnt credit them :[#turtle's art hoard #tw guns #violence against rats #ok bye bye

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fluffalpenguin · 1 year

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the mean girls of duel academia

#yugioh arc v #yugioh arc-v #arc-v #fusion four #fusion gang #idk i cant decide on their group name so i'll just use both #there's also the wip of them playing mahjong on twitter but its too unpolished to tack it on here #ahhhhhhhhhhh i need to draw them more i love this combination so much #they're all outcasts in a way in DA so i think they'd be really good not-friends... frenemies?? idk #what about grace and gloria i hear you say well theyre in their own non-student mean girls group with edo the third tyler sister #anyway time to infodump on these!!!!!#maids (and butlers) are from a long 20 page comic about DA opening up a maid cafe to earn money to pay for war reparations #i finished the storyboards and script 2 years ago but i just never got around to it again lol #i need to rework it anyway because shun and dennis were oddly cordial in that one for some reason #the standard uniforms ones are when they're sent to standard to pose as undercover students #i drafted some pages where yuri reveals himself to be from fusion in this sick costume change #it's pretty cool if i do say so myself (i do)#the comics centered around sora were also meant to be a multi paged project on how he gets closer to everyone from academia after the war #i just (gets emotional) want to see them all getting along theyre such interesting characters and even more so when interacting together #oh yeah character tags #sora #serena #yuri #dennis #edo #grace #gloria is not here

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katkat030 · 2 months

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I used to watch Grian way back in Hermitcraft S1 so seeing you post about it actually makes me insanely nostalgic lmao. Nice to hear about people I haven’t watched in years :)

I can only imagine the nostalgia you must be feeling, omw - S1 was over a decade ago, from what I gather Hermitcraft has changed soo much since then

Thanks for sharing that nugget of information, my mind is genuinely blown

#I hope you don't mind me adding tags to this? <3 #hermitcraft #hermitcraft smp #hermitcraft season 10 #hermitblr #asks #I picked up HC around the very start of season 7 (the season after Grian joined) when my sister recommended his and mumbo's channels to me #I guess you would have watched Grian's building content then and/or early hermitcraft?#I wonder if you ever watched Evo actually it'd be interesting to know about how long ago you stopped watching those kinda creators #thanks for sending in the ask btw! I really enjoy answering them #Oh yeah forgot to add #Grian #idk if it’s even worth adding hermitcraft season one lol

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pangyham · 3 months

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GAH LONG POST..

xingqiu and chongyun have insanely good potential for angst my god. xingqiu in particular is so fun to think about in the context of chongyun. what do YOU know about chivalry boy

thinking about how he and hu tao kinda operate on similar notions of justice and all that shmick except hu tao is more strictly averse to disrupting the Natural Order (incredibly vague and generalized concept rn sorry) whilst xingqiu sets his principles more arbitrarily. chongyun's presence somehow foils a lot of his notable character traits. gestures hands vaguely in the air but sth sth hu tao would not approve of xq's moral infractions

perhaps im just reading too deep into this but shrugs ill admit something's changed in Me the last 2 years and coming back to xq and cy has me like. scratches head now hold on im not entirely sure if i even like the way xq treats cy. its kinda one of the main points of their dynamic- the whole.. pranking this oblivious guy who i really adore etc. but its deeper implications leave me a little unsatisfied and a little troubled (?).. in the long run i personally dont really see anything substantially appealing about their (leaning towards romantic in this context) relationship other than like ?? the tropes that mhy imposed upon them. they were created as a compatible Duo ykwim. they reference each other a lot in their lore and even in-game but.. idk maybe i just view them separately instead of a joint unit that anaylzing them individually revealed a lot of crevices and cracks in their ship that's built upon their mainstream appeal

but anyway i've thought a lot about them as a duo and is it nuts to say i like them as a romantic ship but if they were unrequited. i can see them working out but it necessitates a complete subversion and reconstruction of xingqiu (chara development basically LOL) on my part that i would totally invest myself in but im not entirely sure how to execute it

i like xingqiu a LOT as a flawed character. i wouldnt go as far as to say hes toxic, just very conflicted and insecure. hes a fun character to think about. re: the hu tao bit i mentioned above, i think they would have a really fun, witty, and transformative friendship

but anyway. yes i like xq and i still like xy. theyre just a bit more complicated now aha. im still capable of enjoying fluffy ship dynamics but lately ive been in a Character Study Mood ... mmm.. ive yet to organize my chongming thoughts

#tangy talks chongyun #tangy talks genshin #xingqiu #hu tao #chongyun #on my cf list i specifically wrote:#“ive destroyed whatever palate i had for them(xy) 2 years ago and developed a new one that's more sour” LOL #it's true rip i was going thru my old art it's really funny how much ive changed since then #i feel like i just.. developed different outlooks ..? aka me realizing i might be aro #ive been much more qpr inclined w my ships aha. im also in love with all my friends. i like projecting my values of love and intimacy into #my favorite characters eeep.. shoutout to the raven cycle #i think the only ships i have that r conforming and exhibit conventionally romantic attitudes are uhm.. my bard and shadowheart ..and ..#natasha and pierre from war and peace BAKFBAJG #idk though i dont really like labeling relationships and Love and whatnot. just using categorical terms for convenience #wow these tags are long as hell #sorry im just rambling here but. i want the best for chongyun okay #im not rly sure if anyone shares the Same vision for xy but welp i☝️ will die on this hill #i talked vaguely here my bad #that was on purpose though lest i. idk. link a pdf #as for chongming i need to marinate gaming in my head more #can anyone tell i take my ships seriously LMFAO mfs wont settle for surface level bonds. i WILL excavate their pysches #ignore typos sorry.. typing this in bed #tangy talks Vaguely #using that tag so ill remember to elaborate on these umbrella topics later

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pekoeboo · 3 months

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okAY SO I CAN EXPLAIN xD

I know normally I don't end up drawing this kind of content, because romance is never something I'm super into in stories and all, but it did come about in the Stardew Valley AU idea that Khalan and Leah...? end up getting together as a couple??? :0

at first I wasn't really for the idea because again, I don't care much about this sort of thing. but idk the more I thought about it, the more I realized how cute it could be xD my boy deserves to find love, honestly. he's always wanted that deep down inside, but this silly AU is really the only time it'll ever work out for him ;; so that's kinda part of why I decided to make it canon, haha.

anyway, yeah.... I've had this art drawn for several months now, but I figured Valentine's Day was the perfect day to finally post it! :D yay!

please do not remove caption or repost. also on deviantart

#oc #khalan al shariq #stardew valley au #stardew valley #sdv #stardew leah #leah sdv #valentine's day #oc x canon #idk how to tag 'ship' stuff honestly lol #tbh this AU isn't really one i've ever taken all that seriously tho #so that's why i decided to just kinda have fun with it and go along with this kind of idea #doubt i'll ever draw them again but at least I pulled myself out of my comfort zone a bit when I did #which is always good imo!!

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yanderespamton78 · 17 days

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ive already shown this to anyone who actually cares pretty much loll (anyone following the addison arg) but i might as well post it on here

this is actually the first proper animation ive done :'D like other than this ive animated a ball bouncing but that was more to test the software than anything,, lucky for me i consume animation memes more than i consume water so i know the basics B)

#i need to drink hmm #ok im gonna ramble in the tags about the process because i like rambling #that frame where hes looking down and saying “we're coming” was actually the first frame i did #this was gonna be a stupid meme wtf happened #i can show you the first image it was just joking about how quickly everything had escalated lmao #then i drew that and was like #“woag;;;;; ook so like what if i animated this”#twas GRUELING #it may not have seemed like it bc i didnt mention it when i was wokring on it but i wanted to keep it a surprise lol #anyways im finally free from this stupid animation I CAN DRAW PIN!!!#i ended up redrawing the first frame once or twice because it looked really really bad #then the last ones im still kinda unsatisfied with but i couldnt be arsed to change them #im still unhappy with the way he jolts his head back it feels weird #thing is because of my insistence to keep that one really cool frame in there i had to do it #basically i needed a way to get him from hunched over to back straight looking down with his face hidden at one point #and it ideally had to look very unnatural that was the general goal #but idk i thought that line where Slick called Addon blue bell was really FUCKING COOL #also in a voice message Turnip acknowledged the static #SO PROUD OF MYSELF FOR THAT URUAHGH GURAH GH GHH #YES!!! THE STATIC!!!! I DID DO STATICCC!!!!!#also i know thats probably not what Slick possessing Turnon looked like but thats how i visualised it lol #I was binging tawog while watching this B)#OK actual tag time woag #animation #beginner animator #addison oc #turn off the lights arg #not my oc #addisons deltarune #my eyes hurt

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jakeperalta · 6 months

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I literally think being in the taylor fandom is making me a worse person like I am so not a hater at heart and yet I just get so irritated by the fandom that it makes me feel like the most negative bitter person :/

#my previous tags on that ask about how kelsea has similarities with taylor this year has really made me realise #like i see kelsea being very public in her post breakup relationship and doing things like lyric changes on stage or kissing after a show #and i'm like 'aw that's nice for them :) if they're all loved up why not show it :)'#and then i see those things from taylor and i'm like 😐😒🫤#and the difference is that with kelsea i can see it and move on but with taylor i know i'm gonna see a million posts about it #and weird overly invested takes and analysis and annoying jokes #and it's meant that my automatic reaction is annoyance even though i'm annoyed at the fandom and not taylor #anyway this is just one example but i'm just realising that this fandom is like.. not a good place for me really #but it's tough when i've been so embedded in it for years and it's been such a good fun community at times #i'm trying to slowly retreat but idk it's not working that well #also doesn't help when my other fandoms are all quiet/on hiatus currently so there's no escape lol #talking

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thimbleb3rries · 4 months

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Drew myself...kinda! I got a little silly with it

I draw myself a lot, whether it’s making sona’s for things I’m interested or just like doodling :D

I enjoy it but it’s also kind of odd because I contemplate my appearance a lot. I like drawing myself as a cute little silly guy tho that’s fun!!! ALSO STAR SHAPES I love stars

#don't really know how to tag this one lol #non fandom #sorta idk i mentioned neopets lmao #neopets #i had fun with the colors!#I've been doodling myself as an alien for like a whole week now i love it so much #i dislike drawing myself with glasses #i can't imagine living without them but drawing them is annoying #self portrait

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theflyingfeeling · 6 months

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💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia.

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him.

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him.

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet.

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself.

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

#blind channel fanfiction #blind channel rpf #ollixallu #24 days of gift-giving by theflyingfeeling #<- that's the tag i'll be using for these btw #everyone stop and look at the banner!! 🥺💖#it's not QUITE like the original one ju made first but maybe one day you'll get to see that masterpiece as well 😏#but ooff the way i've gone from having 'a plan' to having 'a better plan' to having 'no plan whatsoever' with this? 😂#so yeah idk what kinda fics/posts there'll be in this series... stay tuned and see for yourself! 🤭#some of them might be in the same universe/plot. others may not. who knows? not i 😌#(...but as you can see from this fic the door for a multiple-part story is definitely open 👀)#some of the fics may not even be based on a prompt though if i'm not feeling like it. honestly i'm curious to see how this will turn out!#(and if this ends up being the only post i ever make that's alright too! i refuse to bully myself with a hobby i'm doing for free <3)#however: i'm not taking requests per say BUT feel free to snoop on the prompts for each day and send me your ideas or hopeful wishes 👀#there are certain ones i'm more drawn to but i haven't really set anything in stone #one could say i'm just going with the flow. fuck around and find out if you will ✨#also: not sure if/when i'll be bothered to post any of these on ao3 #probably i'll just see how many fics i manage to actually finish and dump them all at once on ao3 on christmas day lol #anyway! enjoy & let me hear from you <3

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