How many TLG Outlander incorrect quotes have I done? Here’s more anyway
Sumu: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Kuumwa: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face :)
Sumu: …..201
Alternatively
Kenge: I know over 200 ways to kill a man
Sumu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face
Kenge: …..201
Cheezi: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Cheezi and Chungu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Goigoi: Our turn, Sumu! One, two, three- vanilla!
Sumu, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
Mzingo: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right
Janja: Looking right because you left
Reirei: Looking up cause you let me down
Kiburi: Looking down cause you fucked up
Jasiri: What is wrong with you guys
Janja: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Cheezi: What?
Mzingo: That you're a child.
Chungu: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?
Sumu: Can I be frank with you guys?
Goigoi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.
Chungu: Can I still be Chungu?
Tamka: Shh, let Frank speak.
Kenge: Why are Shupavu and Njano sitting with their backs to each other?
Sumu: They had a fight.
Kenge: Then why are they holding claws?
Sumu: They get sad when they fight.
Janja: How did none of you hear what I just said?
Chungu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Cheezi: I got distracted about halfway through.
Nne, as Tano nods: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
(Royal Mjuzi au)
Kiburi: Are we really going to let Nduli keep Mwamba?
Neema: We kept Tamka.
Jasiri: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life
Mzingo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!
Kiburi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!
Janja: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!
Reirei: My moral code, is that you?
Jasiri:
Jasiri: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?
Tamka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Wakali: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Neema: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Nduli: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Kiburi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
Janja: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Reirei: Janja no.
Kiburi: Mistlefoe.
Reirei: Please stop encouraging him.
Ucheshi: If you had to choose between Makuu and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?
Kiburi: That depends, how much money are we taking about?
Makuu: Kiburi!
Ucheshi: 63 cents.
Kiburi: I'll take the money.
Makuu: KIBURI!!!
Kiburi: I trust Janja.
Reirei: You think he knows what he’s doing?
Kiburi: I wouldn't go that far.
Janja: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Reirei: Alright.
Janja: TraitorSayWhat?
Kiburi: Excuse me?
Janja: What?
Reirei:
Janja:
Janja: No wait-
Goigoi: Reirei, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Reirei: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later
Goigoi: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask one of the kids.
Chungu: What if mayonnaise came in cans?
Cheezi: That would suck cuz you can’t microwave metal
Janja: Good morning to everyone except these two furbrains
Ucheshi: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.
Makuu: I almost died.
Kiburi: That... was my favorite memory.
Reirei: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.
Janja: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.
*Jasiri walks in*
Janja: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.
Janja: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—
Jasiri: Hi.
Janja: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*
Kiburi: I'm not doing too well.
Pua: What's wrong?
Kiburi: I have this headache that comes and goes.
*Makuu enters the room*
Kiburi: There it is again.
*Kenge and Sumu are planning to break in somewhere*
Sumu: We need to distract the guards.
Kenge: Right.
Sumu: What are we gonna do?
Kenge: I'm going to break their elbows while you poke their eyes.
Sumu:
Kenge:
Sumu: Deal.
Human/Zootopia-esque au: trying to use the family/Kiburi’s computer
Dogo: “Password clue: Favorite child”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, sis. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Kijana: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied*
OR
Tamka: “Password clue: Best friend”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, man. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!
Nduli: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied* Aw :(
The Outlanders trying to draw Jasiri:
Janja: I think I made one eye bigger than the other
Mzingo: I was going for a feeling
Reirei, with a perfect drawing: Honestly, I can’t even draw a circle
Kiburi: *shows his picture*
Janja: Okay Kiburi, you just drew yourself
Kiburi: I like me
Jasiri: Dammit, Janja!
Janja: What?! It wasn't me!
Jasiri: Sorry, force of habit.
Dammit, Mzingo!
Mzingo: Not me either.
Jasiri: Oh... Then who set the Outlands on fire?
Njano: *whistles*
Janja: We need to get through this locked door. Reirei, give me your credit card.
Reirei: Here.
Janja, pocketing it: Thanks. Kiburi, kick down the door.
*The group is getting into the car*
Janja: I’m driving.
Cheezi, out of view: Shotgun!
Chungu, turning to face Cheezi: Aww! But you had it on the way here-
Everyone except Cheezi: WOAH-
Cheezi, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*
Fuli: What do you think Bunga will do for a distraction?
Kion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Explosions and several car alarms go off*
Kion:....Or he could do that.
Goigoi: And now it’s time for... WHAT’S. IN. TAMKA’S MOUTH?
Never try this game. Ever
Tamka: Agahhhagg
Nduli: oh oh oh! It’s those napkins from that one chicken wing place!
Tamka: Uh uh
Chungu: Oh! It’s the entire country of China!
Tamka: *spits the thing out* No! It’s a piece of dental cotton!
Cheezi: From five weeks ago?
Tamka: Uh huh!
Cheezi: And now it’s time for Janja’s poetry beat
Janja: Eh, I don’t wanna
Chungu: But it’s your thing!
Janja: No, it’s not!
Cheezi: Yeah, it is. That’s why it’s called “Janja’s”, emphasis on “Janja’s” poetry beat!
Janja: Why don’t one of you do it this time?
Chungu: You don’t like my poetry!
Janja: Sure, I do! Come on
Chungu: Okay.
I sat down on the ground today
Baobab ball I was to play
But instead of rolling north or south
How’d it end up in my mouth?
Janja: You’re right. That sucked
Chungu: Will Shakespeare my butt
Kiburi: (on one line) Hello?
Tamka (on the other line): Hey, what’s up?
Kiburi: I need a little help, can you come over?
Tamka: I can’t. I’m buying clothes
Kiburi: Alright, well hurry up and come over here
Tamka: I can’t find ‘em...
Kiburi: What do you mean you can’t find them?
Tamka: I can’t find them, there’s only soup
Kiburi: ...What do you mean “There’s only soup”
Tamka: It means there’s only soup
Kiburi:Well, then get out of the soup isle!
Tamka: Okay! You don’t have to shout at me! (walks into another isle) There’s more soup
Kiburi: What do you mean there’s more soup?!
Tamka: It means there’s just more soup
Kiburi: Go into the next isle
Tamka: (goes into the next isle) There’s still soup!
Kiburi: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!
Tamka: I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP”?!?!
Tamka: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!
Kiburi: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!
Tamka: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!
Kiburi: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!
Tamka: FUCK YOU!!!!!
Kenge: I’m not worried about silly things like labels. Animals can call me whatever they want. They could even call me little…..
Kenge: NEVER CALL ME LITTLE!!!!!
(Nduli leans in towards a sleeping Tamka)
Nduli: Tamka..Tamka...Tam-zebra.
Tamka: (wakes up) Gimme the leg! I want the leg!
Makuu and Ucheshi: (staring into each other’s eyes)
Kiburi: (rips the leg off of a kill)
Makuu: We’re having a moment
Kiburi: I’m having a snack
Goigoi: The good news is I named my nickel “Phillip!”
Janja: What’s the bad news?
Goigoi: It’s a girl nickel! :D
Janja: YOU BET ME FOR A NICKEL?!
Cheezi: But it was a shiny nickel!
(Hodari saves Njano’s life)
Njano: Bro... 🥺
Hodari: Bro... 🥺
Kenge: Can you guys stop making out and go get the chimps?!
Neema: [Could I give Tamka a -2?]
Tamka: For what?
Neema: [Just for being you]
Jasiri: You assaulted a 94-year old animal!
Kenge: He sassed me
Mzingo: Ooh, you have some pie! Would you mind if I have a piece?
Janja: Uh, sure. (gives Mzingo a piece of pie)
Mzingo: Can you pass the cool hwhip?
Janja: What’d you say?
Mzingo: You can’t have a pie without cool hwhip!
J Cool hwhip?
M: Cool hwhip, yeah
J: You mean cool whip
M: Yeah, cool hwhip
J: Cool whip
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHip
M: Cool hwhip
J: You’re saying it weird! Why’re you putting so much emphasis on the h?
M: What are you talking about? I’m just saying cool hwhip! You put cool hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with cool hwhip
J: Say “whip”
M: Whip
J: Now say “cool whip”
M: Cool hwhip
J: Cool WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
J: COOL WHIP
M: Cool hwhip
Janja: YOU’RE EATING FUR!
Actor AU: Deleted scene with Scar and Jasiri
Director: Action!
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: No…
Scar: Do I look. Stupid. To you?
Jasiri: *starts laughing* I’m sorry 😂😂
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *starts wheezing* I’m sorry! *recomposes herself* I got it. No no, just do it again. I’m fine
(Cut to next take)
Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?
Jasiri: *pointing* YES! *laughs*
Scar: This is the fifteenth take, I cannot work like this. I will be in my trailer…
Jasiri: I need a break
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Okay. This post is gonna be about Bart Allen, and all the Thawne-Allen stuff.
Tagged bc we both love Bart’s Thawne Allen problem: @themaybewoman
This is what I’ve gathered so far about his existence is hopefully comic accurate, but maybe not continuity accurate:
It starts with Iris West. Apparently, it’s recently revealed to me (today) that this girl is actually from the 31st century. Because of the semi-dystopian era of her birth, her real parents sent her back in time to the 21st century to keep her safe. She was adopted by the Wests, but she doesn’t know her future origins until later on.
She meets Barry as a news reporter, and they marry. When they were thinking about having kids, Reverse Flash/Eobard Thawne comes along and murders her because his likes to make Barry’s life as miserable as possible. But because she’s from the future, her parents found some magic comic book science to “revive” her, thus placing her in the 31st century to live her life.
Barry finds out she’s alive in the future, and basically goes into retirement to live with her in the 31st century. He passes the mantle of The Flash to Wally West. Why he doesn’t just get her and bring her back to the 21st century, I’ll never know. Or he just wanted her to be with her real parents (which i would assume she barely knows lol).
I was trying so hard to find out why Barry decided to raise their children in the 31st century, but we have our answer there. Iris is future girl. Their children, Don and Dawn Allen, later operates as the Tornado Twins much like Barry did as the Flash. In Central City, I’m assuming. There was some clashing with the Legion of Superheroes, basically the 31st century’s version of the Justice League, but whatever. Not really important to Bart’s existence.
Dawn Allen marries Jeven Ognats. They have a daughter named Jenni Ognats, who later joins the Legion of Superheroes as XS. Jenni is Bart’s cousin.
Don Allen marries Meloni Thawne, and that’s where this gets more complicated.
Meloni Thawne is the daughter of Earthgov President Thaddeus Thawne, who irrc is a direct descendant of Eobard Thawne. When President Thawne learned of this marriage, the dude’s pissed because the Thawne-Allen feud is still on in his mind. He disowns his daughter, indirectly has the Tornado Twins killed via Dominators, and then kidnaps Bart.
Idk where Barry is in all this, maybe he went into the Speedforce and just chilled there through all this?
Now Bart had this hyper-accelerated aging thing going on as a side effect of being born a speedster (I think). Like nearly a teen by two yrs I think. Thawne grandfather stuck him in this VR so he can grow up “normally”, intending to make him a living weapon against the Flashfam. I’m pretty sure Meloni was locked up or something during that period of time too? Otherwise she would’ve done something about this.
Iris kidnaps Bart, and takes him to the 21st century via the Flash Museum’s Cosmic Treadmill (how they used that idk), hoping that Bart would have Wally West as a mentor. Instead, Wally ditches him to Max Mercury to be trained, and it plays on his low self esteem. Wally was pretty mean to him at some times, like when he gets recruited for the Teen Titans as Kid Flash.
But, hey, Wally did run him around the world fast enough to fix his accelerated aging problem.
Anyways, he gets some visits from his other cousin, Jenni, and his mom in the Impulse 1995 series, which was so fun to read. It was so cool to read them talking to each other in Interlac he Max being all confused.
This all makes me wonder: was Meloni ever Don’s lightning rod? As to Iris is Barry’s lightning rod?
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