ideal location [ch.11]
Nathan Hale x F!Reader
To be honest, once again, you weren’t completely sure how you ended up here. You’ve found yourself saying that a lot lately, and while the confusion was there, it somehow just happened and you had no arguments.
“You are entertained by this?”
In reality, you weren’t really expecting him to be scared of the film. He was a soldier, a spy-he’s probably has seen a lot more bloodshed than you’ll ever see in a lifetime.
But for him to be so close, so uncertain over a classic such as this, nearly in your lap as he stiffens at every jump-scare.
You’ve seen this movie more than a few times, it’s your favorite, and you’ve already messed with him by quoting some lines every now and then on perfect cue. If he didn’t think you were absolutely insane before this, he definitely thinks such now.
“Yeah, it’s not really about the gorey stuff for me, I like the cheap tricks. The silence and then a loud noise, yanno?”
“I do not understand how anyone would find this kind of genre to be something to enjoy.”
Nathan sniffs, startled once more as a knife falls to the ground on the television screen.
“Well, there’s plenty of other movies, you can have your pick—“
“No,”
His arm has come round the back of the sofa, but hasn’t quite touched your shoulders yet. You’ve barely noticed it, because he’s gotten so much closer to you over the course of the hour. It’s here, in the dim light of the tv light, you can notice his prominent features he has so graciously told you the stories of.
The scar that he received from gun powder exploding in his face, the mole on his neck.
You love them both. They’re both uniquely him.
But you also get to appreciate his freckles. His blue eyes, the way they flick back and forth to watch the main character get chased by the killer. His flaxen hair, since he’s let it out of his short ponytail, the way it frames his face.
He’s beautiful, and every time you look at him, you’re reminded of the thought.
“Does no one survive, y/n?”
Your eyes snap back to the screen, horrified he’s caught you staring.
“No…not really. There’s like six of these movies, always new characters and always the same killer.”
“So grotesque.”
Now, you’re certain he’s doing it on purpose, the way his hand casually drops down to sit in the crook of your neck.
You thought that was a twenty-first century man’s trick, but it really seemed to be the oldest trick in the book.
Beside you, Nathan is sweating. This, he’s decided, would be a simple, yet finite test. If you reacted negatively to the minuscule act, he would forget his affection and move forward without a word of it.
This, just makes things more complicated.
You don’t react, you if anything, move even more close, nestled into his side, albeit the pillow between you both.
Lord, you were going to kill him.
When the movie ends, you turn to go switch the television off, but his voice stops you.
“Are you tired?”
“No, why?”
“May we watch the second film? You said there are six,”
You laugh, feeling a tint of red cross your cheeks.
“You just said how disgusting they were, Nate. Not really in the business of making you watch stuff you don’t like, nor stuff that will keep you up at night.”
He looks mildly offended, arm retreating back to his side.
“But you enjoy them, no? I’d like to watch the rest.”
He catches himself.
“Well, not all of them tonight. But I would not mind another.”
What was it about this guy? Why was he…just so much better than any other person you’ve been in a relationship with?
He cared. A lot.
“You’d really sit through another two hours of cheap horror…for me?”
He appears confused by your question.
“If it is something you want, why not? This is new for me, I would like to enjoy them with you.”
Nathan shrugs.
“Maybe I will have an affection for them, too.”
Once more, he’s gotten you heart beating in your chest, pounding, making tears well up in your eyes just by his honest words.
“Uh—! y/n?! Why are you crying?”
Worried, and concerned, Nathan leans forward to better see your face in the horrible lighting from the television.
“No, I’m okay. Sorry, I don’t know what came over me—“
What man would sit here and watch a movie you love, even though he doesn’t? Why would he do anything with you at the drop of a dime?
He could have just abused you and your resources, up and left here the moment you couldn’t help him immediately. But he’s stayed.
Was your ex that really of a shitty person, that he makes Nathan look like an angel?
Well, yes. But, Nathan Hale really is, a genuine, kind, and loving person.
“Let’s start the second one.”
You insist.
“Alright…If you are certain.”
He is not convinced of your terrible lie, but decides to table it for the time being. Instead, he smiles to no one but himself as the title screen for the second movie appears.
“You know, if I ever went back…I do not think I would ever be able to explain this is what the future is. The future exists, the future we fought for…”
His voice trails as he catches you staring, your eyes bleary but sparkling all in the same moment.
“What would be the first thing you would try to explain? The television, or the toaster?”
He hasn’t heard a word you’ve said, because the only thing he’s looking at is your lips, and the way they move when you talk.
Sitting down, he can admire you. Relatively the same height, to his advantage, here, he can follow the way your eyes move, catch the rosy hue on your cheeks, and see the soft laughter lines that come out with every smile you give him.
From either side, the action was done at the same exact moment. He leaned down, you crept up, and as your hand falls to his chest, his comes to cradle your cheek.
And you aren’t entirely sure why, but it was the most magical moment you’ve ever experienced in your entire life.
Beside you, Nathan isn’t entirely sure why he didn’t do this any other moment he’s had, because it was the most amazing moment he’s ever experienced in his entire life.
you kissed.
[a/n: THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER tO DATE. THIS IS MY FAVORITE THING I’VE EVER WRITTEN.]
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ideal location [ch.14]
Nathan Hale x F!Reader
Now, appears a moment of weakness that Nathan Hale dares not speak of to another soul. You, who knew too much of him, yet not enough, would be the only bearer for this momentary lapse of better judgement, noted that you wouldn’t be awake to see it so.
He was wide awake once more, even after lulling into a peaceful sleep prior. It would only be for an hour, but for the man, it felt as if minutes melted into days.
Feeling so vulnerable is a emotion that he’d rather not revisit. The notion of being so exposed is what made him stand out, mission for Washington in his left shoe, and his Yale diploma in his bag.
In Latin. Latin! The worst way to code anything—if he had known what he knows now, he’d turn and high-tail it out of that tavern.
But he doesn’t. The last thing he remembers, he…
He shudders.
“y/n…”
It’s hoarse, hand coming out that was once tucked neatly under his head. It hovers, willing to push some hair away from your eyes, yet, never moves.
His mind is begging you to wake up, because he’d never gather the courage to wake you up himself. Nathan hates feeling so hopeless, yet, every time his gaze shifts to you, the sensation alleviates.
He can’t help it, wanting you to comfort him. The way you do it makes him feel so validated in his own feelings, just as emotions were exchanged easily between he and his own brother, as well as his best friend…
Memories meld, and it’s harder to bite back the tears of anger that rise. If Nathan was adamant about one thing, it’s that you would never have to see him deal with such frustrations. It wasn’t about being a man, no, quite the contrary. Tears shouldn’t be a form of weakness, they are a way of expression.
It’s the worry that he cannot stand, he’s seen it well up in your eyes far too many times for his liking. When you look over at him, his chest just about tightens until he feels like he has to gasp for air.
These horrible memories, nightmares, whatever they may be, are all just in his head.
It’s his own mind playing horrible tricks on him, remembering some things so vividly, and others, as if they weren’t ever really there.
“Why is this happening?”
He asks to no one in particular, whispering a rhetorical question to the night air. He’s so torn he could scream, and then his eyes move to you once more.
The impression seizes, just by the way your chest rises and falls. If you could see it, you’d call him a creep with a playful shove to the arm.
No, he will be alright. Fate is what steers him. Fate urged him to join the war, fate saw him to his mission, fate brought him here.
To you.
Things will change, things will get better.
You are the living proof of that.
When he blinks his eyes open, you aren’t next to him anymore. It’s an immediate rush of panic, hands darting out across the mattress as if you had just moved away from him, just out of reach. When he still doesn’t find you, he’s sat up straight, eyes roaming around the room to locate you.
Is he…?
No.
Stubbornly, he would never admit that that was the best night of sleep he’s gotten since he’s been here. It felt refreshing to have had slept almost fully throughout the night, and not waking up to deathly memories or painful nightmares.
“y/n?”
It’s firmer now, a question he immediately seeks the answer to.
Wandering into the hall, he finds a light, your bathroom door was open, and when he retreats from the bed and pushes the door open fully, you are brushing your teeth, pulling your hair back away from your face.
“Good morning!”
Your chirp, waving to him in the reflection of the mirror. The Captain walks behind you, standing so he can stare over the top of your head to see your expression in the mirror.
“Y’alright, Nate?”
You ask, cautious, wondering if he even remembered what happened last night.
“Yes, good morning.”
It’s not clear how he should be acting, having just slept in a women’s bed he was barely courting. His father would be furious, yet, he can hardly find it in him to dwell on it much.
It was the best thing that could have happened to him last night, regardless of the precedent.
“Wanna make breakfast here? Or maybe we should…get you some fresh air…hey, what’s wrong?”
You put your toothbrush down, watching his anguished eyes in the mirror.
“I…”
Nathan’s tongue comes out to wet his lips, briefly, voice trailing as he can’t seem to quite articulate his words.
“Nate…?”
You ask after a few moments too long.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost—agh, that’s bad analogy.”
Your palm smacks your forehead, but if it phased Nathan, he does nothing to show it.
“Um, but you look pale, and you’re kinda scaring me with this whole—uh?”
What you weren’t expecting, was for him to lean towards you, dropping all of his weight on you in a hug that made your chest hurt.
“Thank you. For last night, I…I am indebted, but sincerely, thank you.”
Concern floods easily, wondering all this was coming from. This isn’t one of the three Nathan’s you know.
There’s happy-go-lucky Nathan, the one who makes you laugh, and is mischievous-the one that has that charming smile of his own that melts your heart.
There’s downhearted Nathan, the one who gets frustrated at his life, at his situation, the one who retreats to the sofa and doesn’t talk much.
The third, that would be softhearted Nathan. The one who holds you like you’re the only person in the world, knows when you are in need of his presence.
This Nathan…you do not know. He’s despondent, far away, and his words aren’t convincing enough to let your worry slide.
“Nathan Hale, what has gotten into you?”
You return the hug, happy in his hold, but all he does is squeeze you tighter.
“Not a single thing.”
He smiles into the crook of your neck, hand coming to cradle your head.
“Think of it as nothing. It means everything to me, but you needn’t to know. Not yet. I am a little guarded, I will get there eventually.”
You raise an eyebrow, thinking that this may be a part of the story from last night.
“S’not a race, Nathan. You take all the time you need.”
He just nods, and you pat his back reassuringly.
“We all get where we need to go, regardless of pace.”
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How are things going post-move? How many boxes left unpacked? Anything hung on the walls yet? What’s your kitchen like? Said hi to any neighbors?
So far so good! Bébé's new daycare starts Monday, and I think things will feel a lot more normal and relaxed once we're all truly back in our routines and her various grandparents (who have been heroically covering childcare for the last three weeks) clear out.
There ARE some things hung on the walls, but mainly because the previous tenants left a number of nails and hooks behind, most of them in convenient places. The walls are plaster and I've been finding it unexpectedly difficult to hammer new nails in so far, so we're gonna see if the handyman can work some magic there.
The boxes question is complicated because there are some things we're just not planning to unpack, like gardening supplies (our current landladies are responsible for yard upkeep) and clothes and toys and things Bébé has grown out of but that we'd like to hold onto in the eventual event of a younger sibling—not necessarily in this house, though. Fortunately, we have a TON of space and had planned on storing such things, so nothing's feeling cluttered.
The kitchen is a good size and our stuff seems to fit! It hasn't been updated/renovated in a good few decades, so while I think the appliances might be newer, there's no island (an old IKEA table is doing that job) and generally it just needs some zhushing. But it's comfortable and serviceable.
That's been the case with the whole house, really—great for the year or two we intended to live here but not something we'd want to own, or deal with renovating in its entirety.
We've met a few neighbors (including the landladies, a married couple who live around the corner), and every single person has been lovely and welcoming! One next-door neighbor also has a very friendly gigantic black lab puppy, and Phoebe has seemed to enjoy racing him with the fence betwixt. (Benedict is big enough that I actually think she's more comfortable that way.)
Perhaps also of note is that there is a positively aces corner café literally three houses down from us on the main drag! We have all but moved in there as well.
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