#i'm really interested in this again lmao

[cappydoodle]

rereading my own fic and yeah I'm a comedic genius I think

#pokemon #ingo #emmet #akari #hisuian sneasel #submas #subway boss ingo #subway boss emmet #my arts #id in alt text #aaaand know what im making a new tag #my fics #ehehe i've never promo'd my own writing here i'm a lil nervous but it's fun tho! #self care is rereading your own writing and having fun doing it <3 #if ur interested in the fic it's called tag-along and yknow it's a post-pla submas reunion fic #ingo brought akari and a sneasel with him and emmet found them in the subway tunnels and now they're trying to get akari home #it's still a wip that i am slowly chipping away at again (got sidetracked cause of college bleh) #this scene in particular takes place in chapter 5 and it legit caught me off guard cause i did Not remember writing this lmao #fr i really do love writing this fic cause i get to have big emotional goodbyes and reunions and also the Pizza Argument #tag along au #2k

[aeb-art]

most normal interaction on a subway (another earth bot has invaded my sketchbook)

cat belongs to @8um8le

#2024 #stellar city #sc cataclysm #sc ash #self insert #late evening scribbles once again just for fun #okay so it is so interesting to think about how really tall bots are normal so public transit is probably larger to accomodate #so then lil ol me looks more like a kid than i normally do in the subway car built for giants #anyway i'm thinking about how jarring it must be to only know geo and then see cat lmao #unknowingly meeting your coworker (crush)'s prototype on your evening commute home :x #…wait hang on it would be really funny to confide in cat about having a crush on geo #gives me the most batshit advice that somehow works #i really just keep doodlin ballad's guys huh? i wanna draw the rest of the cast tbh they're all fun

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

#doreens monthly bl breakdown #thai bl #bl drama #upcoming bl #update #bl news #decided to do my likes/dislikes in the tags in case some entitled 'fans' are coming for my throat again #my Monthly Like goes to My Stand-In because sorry but the first ep slapped #the story is really interesting also i missed my boy Up so much??? I havent seen him in like 3 years 🥺 #Ming is a red flag lmao but up is doing really well and I also didn't think he would act again since he's been producing lately #but I'm so happy he's back!!! #and I really hope the show stays at that level bc the 1st ep was more than solid #the other guy is pretty good too #another Like is going to the gmmtv lineup bc I feel really good about it!! #so many promising projects it makes me excited 😊 #my Monthly Dislike goes to Love is Like a Cat bc wow it's terrible lol #good to know that Mew's lakorns aren't paying his bills anymore lmao #I dropped it instantly #its SO bad #kinda sad for Mew though #in other news this korean skam situation is confusing me so much lmao #like there was supposed to be an adaption but that got cancelled for whatever reason so now they're making a new show that's.....the same? #make it make sense lmao #also what up with all those gmmtv tranfers lol #whos next?? #dmd hand over ur gays jhgkfd #or maybe dont #can u imagine the dmd boys at gmmtv #they would get fired for public indecency #jhdsfkd

[lgbtlunaverse]

I don't think we talk about xiyao exes to lovers enough. I understand that in canon the "breakup" ended with death and imo it was never going to end any other way (I have a lot of feelings about how jgy is doomed from the start) but even in aus where survival is an option I barely ever see their full potential realized. The fact that there is this heartbreaking gap that is between them now, and yet that, despite it all, they can't stop loving each other. When you have drama this good, why is the conflict relegated to outside threats and we end up with little to no exploration of internal strife, of the fact that these guys have been living a domestic lie for a decade (I cannot stress this enough, the amount of parralels between xiyao and jgy's marriage to qin su are staggering.)

And let me be clear I will NEVER begrudge anyone their hurt/comfort and wanting their faves who are denied happiness and peace at every turn to find it. god knows I need that sometimes. Or even the less healthy but so emotionally devastating fics where the caring isn't good, and it doesn't fix anything- might only make things worse, actually- and xichen ends up recreating his father's fate. I love all of those things. But. Man. This divorce was over 11 years in the making it should take AT LEAST that long to resolve. What do you do when the person you trusted the most lied to you for years? What do you do when the only person who's ever believed in you loses that faith so completely they'd hurt you over a lie without hesitation? I need me some xiyao who try to get over each other for 20 years and fail. I need them to meet after not seeing each other for years and have it hurt like no time has passed at all. I need arguments where no one raises their voice but that feel like a screaming match anyway. Do you see my vision?? Do you see what we could have?

(if fics that do exacly this are out there, recs are of course welcome)

#mdzs #meng yao #xiyao #lan xichen #jin guangyao #rs: i wish it could've been you #this might make some people really mad #at the idea that jgy has any right to have grievances with xichen but uh... #i'm not interested in arguing with jgy antis. go scream at a wall #or a different camp who DO like xiyao but who are like 'but xichen was lied to jgy wouldn't blame him' #the fact that it was a lie makes it WORSE you guys know that right? #some of you have never been the proverbial boy who cried wolf #and had people assume everything you say is a lie because you've lied in the past #and good for you! You SHOULD be honest with those you love i'm very happy for all of you #but also. lmao. you have no idea how that feels. #i have read aus where they break up and get back together of course #but i always end up feeling like people see the conflict as an obstacle? a thing to get past so we can get them back together #and not.. you know. the most interesting part. the selling point #I think in a slightly lower stakes au xiyao should wait a few years get back together because they love each other and then break up AGAIN #when they realize that the old relationship they had with that easy trust is gone forever. love isn't enough to bring that back #you can build something new. including a new kind of trust just as potent. but that old easy kind is gone. #and i think they should try to get it back because it was the best thing they ever had #and get fucked up about it when they realize they can't #and it should take them well over a decade to mourn it until they're ready to let it go and try to make something new of it #PLEASE let me talk about the xichen qin su parralels please let me talk about how rusong is nmj-coded #not in personality but in the function he has narratively as someone that can never stop haunting jgy. #the fact that nmj's death and rusong's birth were likely extremely close to each other timeline wise LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

[charcarts]

Here was my entry for the 2023 Digimon Illustration Competition; I had a lot of fun drawing Agumon having a yummbi treat! Sadly didn't make it past round 1, but congratulations to everyone who did :D

#digimon #agumon #デジモン #me like one week b4 the art contest deadline with nothing actually drawn yet: Ah.... #(this is the second time that's happened the first was w/ pkmn LMAO and i only managed to get my 3x submissions in b/c #im familiar with that franchise whereas im kind of a newbie to digimon lol) #please go look up the 2023 semi(?)finalists its a really cool batch of art!!!! #hope they host this again in the future i'm definitely interested in applying again hopefully this time w/ better time management ORZ

[doodleodds]

royalty & fairy tale au’s are meant to be mixed and u can’t change my mind

Late shuake week 2022 day 3 - Royalty AU

#shuakeweek2022 #akechi goro #kurusu akira #I JUST REALLY LOVE SLEEPING BEAUTY OK #or well. i love the idea of 'sleeping curses.' idk why! they've always fascinated me #i used to be obsessed with aurora and snow white for that reason #and so here i am! as always! projecting this interest of mine onto my favorite characters :) #also for reference because i just realized how weird it reads: goro's gonna be in the tallest tower when he's cursed #that's why akira's got a reason to climb it. so. yeah #also in case you were wondering why i said 'see you tomorrow with more art' and then proceeded not to post for.....four days: #1) work decided that i'm going to be doing more hours so i now have very little free time; #2) i decided to actually try my hand at coloring again like an IDIOT and now here we are. sigh. coloring is hard #i was trying to hard not to just overdose on comic dots again lol & it resulted in this nonsense. me and my one very textured stone wall #ANYWAY lmao even though i missed like. every single day of akeshu week so far i'm still gonna be doing the prompts #just at my own pace! so. hopefully expect more art. soon. ish. hopefully not with another uhhh 2 month gap like last year lol #also quick fun fact since you made it this far in my tags! that second page originally wasn't supposed to be there! #i drew sleeping goro just cause i could and i was just gonna stick him under a read more but then i got attached lmao #and now he's in the main post! :D yayyyyyy goro #ANYWAY that was super long. thanks for reading & i hope u have a lovely day!!!!

[waywardted]

Believing in rom-communism is all about believing that everything is going to work out in the end... Now, it may not work out how you think it will, or how you hope it does, but, believe me, it will all work out.

#ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso #otp: you liven up the place #mine #m*ne: lasso #i like don't want to tag this with anything i'm having a thought exercise lmao #this is the tip of the iceberg for real i really do think it's their movie #and on an emotional level i'm devastated by this and on an intellectual level i'm just. fascinated #if we take the end as endgamey (though i'm partial to hannah canon ha) #within that endgame the universe gives her a consolation prize of a ted #and i don’t even think that’s my biased reading like his name means the same thing he also is from another country is also divorced also has #a child who evidently can be moved around more easily maybe cause she’s younger and amsterdam is closer #plus all the other similarities we’d talked about after amsterdam #and all the little moments that fatefully lead rebecca to this moment are moments with ted #ted walks away from her and she walks out the door to find this man again #it wouldn’t have happened if she didn’t need to say goodbye to her soulmate #with all of that idk it seems like they added this man not just as love interest but so that he'd be specifically #filling the void ted left in her life and in their romcom #to invoke sleepless in seattle like that when there is a very clear fated soulmate relationship at play #and then to give the ending to another character #like no shade to matthijs he's a fine man but #it just seems intentionally to say the hero of this story has to leave #so 'god's gift' is this substitute #is it the 'it just doesn't happen twice'?? is ted like the maggie of this situation??? #is it 'the dream of someone else' which kinda seems like hannah's reading?? #you can't always get what you want (the romcom ending the way you think it's going to) but you get what you need (them ending up with their #respective families and possibilities for the future)??? #it's just that isn't it. just a completely heartbreaking realization of ted's romcommunsim speech #it's bananas and on purpose and i'm in pain

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd 114 #is this meta? i don't know #more like just incoherent rambling lmao #i just don't want Nikolai to die man....... I really don't #i get that people are hyped up on the juicy tragedy of it all but plssssssss it's too soon for him to go #we need so much more of the enigmatic clown...... he's too interesting to lose just yet!!! #i'm sad at probably losing the outcomes i always hoped for him and fyolai but right now i just want More Of Him #he can't die so soon when he's barely even had pagetime #it COULD be fascinating to see Fyodor's reaction to taking over his body but....... i don't think he'd /have/ any right now #they need more time together before one of them dies #i always thought/hoped Fyodor would die first and Nikolai would be left alone to angst lmao but ugh........ #now it's really feeling like it'll be the opposite #which again doesn't HAVE to be a bad thing depending on how Asagiri executes it........ I just think this is way too soon for it to happen #i'm gonna be so mad if Nikolai just dies offscreen without us ever hearing from him again because Fyodor possessed his body #poetically cruel and tragic? yes. but also so anticlimactic at this moment in time #never getting to hear from him again......... #ugh i blame all the Fyolai fan creators; they've raised the bar too high 😭😭😭 #idk maybe i'm just talking out of my ass though. i probably am. i just feel conflicted about all this and need to see where it goes

[raiiny-bay]

my favorite edits - 2023 edition 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

#ts4 #simblr #once again i don't know how to tag this so... #i'm just gonna use the same tags i used last year ig #2023 was apparently the year of the monster boyz #only 3 of these are not mb posts & i'm ok with that actually #ik i've said it a million times already but #i had soooo much fun doing mb stuff this year! #i'm really excited about all the stuff i have planned for the AU tbh #like. i have a list #i'm hoping................... to get the origin stories done at some point. #probably gonna do some writing here soon ish. #i've gotta make all of the side characters still & finish the character page so idk. i'll figure it out. i have a lot of ideas #i really wanna start sharing more about the story & the boys' actual personalities so that's probably what i'll focus on this next year #edit-wise i mean. like doing lore edits & stuff. idk #making cricket's was really fun so i think i'll like making stuff for everyone else too #i just have to not try to do a whole story bc then i'll lose interest. it'll be like the degenerates all over again lmao #idk why i just hate making story posts #lore posts are fine but story posts? mm no. not for me. idk how but they are different in my brain ok #n e way #i rambled. sorry. bye lol

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

THE BEST OF THE NORMANDY SUMMIT

Featuring: Cmdr. Sophie Shepard, Primarch Adrien Victus, Dalatrass Linron, and Urdnot Wrex With: Comm. Specialist Samantha Traynor Commander, you need to keep Cerberus at bay- I can't overstate what a victory a treaty between the Turians and the Krogan would be for the Alliance. We need all the help we can get... Mass Effect 3: Legendary Edition (2021)

#mira makes gifs ✨ #sophie shepard #urdnot wrex #samantha traynor #mass effect #mass effect 3 #me3 #mass effect legendary edition #dailygaming #finally got around to gif'ing the sur'kesh footage and i ended up splitting it in half bc the summit just had too many good wrex moments #by best of: the normandy summit i really just mean best of: wrex bc this is literally just every wrex moment from the summit LMAO #i was gonna stuff this in with the priority sur'kesh set but literally when i had like 10 gifs of just the summit i was like #sur'kesh is getting the mars split bc wrex has too many good moments to just start cutting half of them out tbh #also victus in his fancy primarch robes with THAT VOICE??? i'm not down bad for most turians but DAMN victus #maybe we talk about how fucking real he was for hearing wrex say that the krogan were the ones who spilled their blood to stop the rachni #and immediately looked at the dalatrass and said that wrex was fucking right #and then said that the dalatrass was helping wrex or she'd never see another friendly turian again?? like he's a fucking ICON for that tbh #and soph in the dress blues????? HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT (mass effect women in uniforms and armor 😍) #her angy face coming back at the dalatrass to defend wrex is everything to me #and wrex's expressions during the summit are so fucking good #there's so much raw emotion on his face that you can see and you can tell how like angry and frustrated he is with the dalatrass and victus #and how much he's holding back!! especially when linron insults him!! when she basically calls his people useless!! #like there's just a thousand+ years of pent up krogan rage about the genophage just boiling behind wrex's eyes #and he somehow manages to keep somewhat cool during the summit? like obvi wrex isn't a thousand+ years old but he's his people's rep #he's such a fucking interesting character especially during this scene when you think about a thousand+ years of the genophage #bc you get to watch him balance keeping his cool in a political situation he's a leader in #vs. remembering he's a krogan in the presence of the leadership of the people who literally created a sterility plague for his people?? #and the raw emotions of that for him??? #wrex my love you deserve the world for dealing with the summit in the cool-headed way that you did bc it was 100% bullshit for you #canon soph would have thrown the dalatrass off the normandy so fucking fast for insulting wrex and his people and you cannot change my mind

[emblazons]

So this started as a post in response to this by @mel-hyperfixates but turned into a whole thing so. I'm gonna quote them & then go into...what has turned into an analysis of El's S4 narrative through episodes 1-3 in regards to Mike lol.

The basic premise was this:

i don’t think i’ll ever be over the fact that mike literally jumped off a cliff at 12 years old because of bullies, el saw it and literally saved him, and then 3 years later she’s like “you don’t know what it’s like” when mike tried to open up to her about being bullied as well

—and I wanted to expand on why that might be, so here we are.

forewarning: this is a very anti-mileven post. Also...YES. Its much more complex than just this. I'm just talking about a side of this breakup subtext we gloss over a lot lmao

In regards to El not having any thought of how Mike was trying to relate / how it seems as though she "forgot" he was also bullied...I feel like that's the thing. If you've ever been ready to break up with someone, you know exactly what El was going through, because when you're checked out of your relationship, all you focus on is the negative—even at the expense of the other person, and regardless if there is evidence to prove the person isn't as bad as your mind is making them (at least historically).

From the second we see her this season, El had stopped being vulnerable or honest with Mike entirely (see: her lying in all her letters) and had probably emotionally distanced herself before he even got there. The entirety of the first three episodes of S4 we are watching her care very little for Mike or his feelings because she is already distancing / distanced from him in her own mind—their relationship was on its last legs in El's mind even before we got to see the events of the season, but you need to look at the context clues surrounding her words and actions to see it.

-

From the very start, El was doing + saying things that were her last ditch attempts to throw herself into being invested in Mike by lying to him and herself ("I want this day to be about me and you, all her over-affectionate behavior, on top of how enthusiastic she sounded in her letters), but from minute one of them together we already see her honest emotions about their dying romantic relationship show up in her expressions (a theme with all characters this season)—

—and the SECOND things start getting real (see: Angela bullying her at Rink-O-Mania) the facade El was trying to maintain (in regards to her investment in her relationship, among other things) breaks down.

Even after her lies about enjoying Lenora + being friends with Angela are exposed, El isn't interested in being genuine with Mike at all, and doesn't ask Mike to protect her or even be present with her after she is bullied—she only comes out from hiding to demand Angela help her put her facade back up, because she doesn't want to be vulnerable with Mike even after he finds out she was lying.

People like to focus on how Mike wasn't paying attention to El / call him a bad boyfriend (and lets be real, he is lmao) but...in doing so we are glossing over how El is contributing absolutely nothing to sustaining her perceived closeness with Mike, or meeting Mike in their relationship in all his attempts to reconnect either.

Like, sure...we get Mike not looking at her in the van + being petty at the dinner table yes. But we also get El stonewalling him by not talking to him at all before their fight in The Monster and the Superhero, when she storms off at dinner, not sad, but angry—

—only to go to her room to mull over how she feels about herself...while making comparisons to Mike saying "what have you done" to Brenner, thinking back to several things that happened in the lab that she (at that point) thinks she did (because she had no memory of One)...aka her struggling with thinking she's a monster.

No matter how deeply you think she loves him at this point (highly debatable, no matter who you are) this is hardly the stuff of the surface level interpretation of it being at all about Mike specifically for her, never mind as shallow as something like "My main issue is I'm sad my boyfriend can't say he loves me." In fact, all of these things point not to Mike even being her primary concern at this point...even before they get into a fight about how he isn't saying I love you.

By the time the fight in her room happens, she's shutting down even his most genuine attempts to relate (see: admitting he was bullied too) because what El is actually struggling with wasn't (and never was) about him.

What starts the actual argument is her trying to say "I'm thinking I'm a monster" and him not understanding that its not about Angela, the roller rink, or even him being a shitty boyfriend, but her identity crisis over something that happened before she even met Mike, and that Mike has no experience with or even knowledge of—

—only she is unwilling to let Mike into her headspace about any of that, because (as I said before) she's already checked out of both honesty and emotional intimacy their relationship.

By the time we get to the "care" and "you don't love me anymore" part of the argument with those those letters (the secondary part of her concern), El has already put Mike on the defensive by 1) moving the conversation away from his perception of the issue without clarifying the real problem and 2) latching onto him saying he cares & putting him on the defensive by undermining his attempt to connect with her—going back to that idea that she's not been invested in telling him the truth or being close to him since the very start of the season.

Now, I don't absolve Mike of any of his wrongdoings in regards to their relationship(of which we all know there are many), but...the irony is that El isn't saying anything that would show she is invested, trusts or loves Mike either, to the point that her accusing him of not caring is borderline projection.

By the time we get to him calling her a superhero, we see that she's even more displeased than she was at the start—not even necessarily because Mike is saying something, but because 1) she doesn't feel like a superhero, and 2) he's not hearing her...because she's not communicating what's going on in her world anymore.

Mike doesn't understand what's going on with El because she's not telling him...and she's not telling him because she doesn't view their relationship as worthy of either her honesty or vulnerability anymore which is especially ironic, considering she's always cared a lot about the idea that friends don't lie.

(Maybe I'll follow this up with a "this is how El transformed when she was gone" + "why Mike saying You're My Superhero after what happened with Brenner / Vecna was literally the nail in the coffin post-Nina," but. For now, we can just stick with how the breakup / distance context was build into their relationship from minute one...and not only because Mike was trying to be "normal." In truth, El has been checked out from her relationship, emotional closeness and honesty since the first seconds of the season...and nothing Mike could have said would have brought her back into it).

#anti mlvn #el hopper #mike wheeler #my st commentary #LIKE. SHES DONE. SHE'S BEEN DONE. AND IT HAPPENED LONG BEFORE THAT GD PIZZA FREEZER LMFAOOO #like I'm sorry if you're still holding onto this idea that she's interested in them being close again but #her actions and the writing really don't support that lmao #anyway #stranger things #the me tag #st analysis

[zenmai--jikake--no--komoriuta]

ok so Pteromon's line is actually really dope, they all look awesome and Fluffymon is an instant fave......... LOOK AT THIS BOY

BEHOLD THE BORB

#actually didn't think I would be interested in liberator but these designs are really neat #this is the most interested I've been all 3 hours of digimon con so far............ a big improvement over last two years LMAO #bandai pls fund my favourite series I'm begging you it's getting so tiring having 7+ years of no new game and ''we'll have info soon'' #no you won't lol..... you say that every year hrbghbgdrfhndsk #digimon #digimon con 2024 #rambling about digimon again

[maddy-ferguson]

Ngl, I really think that these bylers that are crying 24/7 about "purity culture" or whatever, are playing dumb when they start with their "but Nancy and Steve were 16 and 17 in that scene of s1!!!1" like... We got introduced to these characters at that age and the people playing them were already adults. So yeah, sorry but I think it's easy to see why most viewers would be uncomfortable with a more sexual scene of Mike and Will and it's not automatically homophobia, I think that would be the case with any of the kids since we got introduced to these characters when they were 12 and the actors were babies as well. We literally saw those kids grow. And I'm not saying byler should only get to peck or hold hands, It'd be cool if they have their epic kiss or whatever, but Will hasn't even had his first kiss yet and some of these people are already talking about sex scenes, like... Be for real 😭

funny you should say that...because i've used the nancy was 15-16 in season one argument (last tag) before while also saying that i understand why people find the sex part of their sexualities uncomfortable to discuss. and i wanna reiterate that, again, i totally understand that people feel like they've seen them grow up etc etc and that they still think of the actors themselves as children even thought they're not anymore.

i don't think it's all homophobia because like you said, people would probably feel the same about lucas and max and discussions of sex (i don't know if anyone is discussing that because there's much less discourse to have there and you can't argue that people are homophobic if they disagree with you) but i don't think it would be justified either. the "but we knew the characters when they were little" argument makes me think me of an ancient disney channel/abc show that old people and girl meets world fans who watched it for the first time in the 2010s will know, boy meets world (1993-2000). classic comic of age show, look at these kids. and eric in the back (he's fifteen).

they're eleven at the start of the show and then, what happens in any coming of age story happens, you guessed it...

they grow up. this is them in the later seasons, when the main characters are still in high school i think. they grow up, they talk about sex and about having sex at prom in season five and then they don't have sex right away because they figure it's not the right time yet or something like that, and then they have sex later and get married, the details don't matter. but my point is, who watches a show for five seasons, over years and years and gets upset at the main characters having sex because "this is crazy they used to be children"? isn't that the point of coming of age stories that cover multiple years or that focus on the latter years of adolescence, that they're not children forever and that at one point the characters "come of age" which usually includes their first sexual experiences?

i don't think the having sex part is particularly important in stranger things but also it doesn't have to be for it to be portrayed (see jonathan and nancy), teenagers have sex, it's just the way the world works. i'm not advocating for sex scenes of any kind especially because stranger things isn't a show that features a lot of sex in general, the only "explicit" sex scene being nancy and steve in season one with cuts to barb dying, but i genuinely don't think the duffers would have any qualms about portraying teenage sexuality in general with the party. if they did, they wouldn't have included erica threatening lucas to tell dustin what she found under his bed (it wasn't the communist manifesto) and they wouldn't have had max looking at a shirtless steve for an amount of time that's supposed to make the audience laugh. it's been 7 years. if they do a time jump, the babies will be about 17, played by actors who will all be around 20, the age natalia was when filming season one. the characters are teenagers, babies grow up. it happens to the best of us. i get why people would find it uncomfortable and maybe i would find it uncomfortable too but i wouldn't be scandalized. the duffers had no problem having a child actor portray everything will goes through in seasons one and especially two, i really feel like sex is fine and...not traumatizing or hard to watch compared to every single thing will's gone through lol. and again, i'm not even expecting them to have sex lmao, but i wouldn't cry myself to sleep if they revealed that everyone in the party actually knows what sex is.

last question: do we have any indication that jonathan had talked to more than one other girl (the girl at the halloween party being the one girl i'm counting for him) before he got together with nancy. i'm just asking because of your last sentence, because if we don't he should have slowed down also😭

#yes i'm back to calling people old for no reason. <3 #saying that they will all be around 20 isn't a stretch because noah's turning 19 in 4 months and they haven't begun filming yet. thank you #i'm not mad at you anon sorry for not really agreeing with you and again i get where you're coming from and i don't even expect them to #have sex and if they did i would expect it to be implied like jonathan and nancy but yeah #what i mean when i say it's not particularly important in st is that i don't think they need to have sex for will's arc to be complete or #anything😭 #i would've been happy with jonathan and nancy only kissing in s2 like idc yk it's a detail #i'm not advocating for sex scenes means HERE in this case i'm not anti-sex scenes in general lmao #i didn't watch bmw over years and years i watched it in like. a month and a half maybe i really was not crying when cory started wanting to #have sex and i was 15...an impressionnable kid who knew what sex was...disheartening i know💔 #<- that wasn't me making fun of you anon lmao again i get where you're coming from i just respectfully disagree #i looked up the episode where they have sex and (spoiler alert lol) cory and topanga end up only having sex on their wedding night i think? #and that's not the episode in s5 i'm talking about but they consider having sex and talk about it so still bringing that one up #i found an article about something rider strong (shawn) said about not liking this episode because while they talk about sex at length they #never talk about safe sex and he even talked about his concerns to the showrunner because he thought it was irresponsible since yk young #viewers and all that and he was like maybe you don't get it different generations mine grew up with aids and everything this is really #important and he brushed him off! i thought that was interesting. this has nothing to do with st #ask

[leofrith]

lol remember when eivor was like "i will not be captive to another man's gaudy design. my destiny is mine to weave." and then she. proceeded to be captive to a man's idea of what she should be and did not, in fact, weave her own destiny because she was too busy following the old god in her head despite having previously expressed blatant disinterest (and that's putting it mildly) in doing so. and then after finally finding safety and comfort among her people after a lifetime of scrounging and clawing for every ounce of happiness she ever got she then proceeded to die alone on the opposite side of an ocean from everyone who ever loved her and who she loved in return.

#normal and not at all ooc!! nothing to see here!!! #are we all just being hit by The Rage at the same time? cause that's what it feels like lmao #hahaha girlbonding (gn) #i don't remember who it was but someone said something that i'm definitely about to misquote #about the way that this ending makes more sense for male eivor (havi) than canon eivor #like a man who decides to abandon everything in the pursuit of knowledge with his past self who was also a dude? yeah sure! whatever #still sucks!! but i can almost see it #but eivor spending the rest of her life obsessing over her past life in which she was a man? feels bad!! #and they could have done some really interesting stuff with exploring eivor's relationship with her gender (gnc king) but they didn't #this was not that. like it was very clearly not written with that intent #and eivor abandoning everyone she loves in service of havi's own ends denies eivor agency in a way that feels soooo fucking gross #and it reeks of 'man writes ending for a character arc that would make sense for a male character' #idek if i'm making sense but like once again #i never wanted or expected a perfectly happy ending for her but jesus christ i feel like not wanting her to end up alone was not a tall ask #ac valhalla #eivor varinsdottir #eivor varinsdóttir #ky posts text #ac.txt

[citnamora]

I'm reading the Raggedy Ann book series written and illustrated by Johnny Gruelle. Yesterday I watched Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure. Immediately after, I stayed up watching Raggedy Ann: The Musical Adventure [the bootlegs of the show that were previously lost media(?) from what I recall].

...I think I have a new hyperfixation, LOL.

#raggedy ann #raggedy andy #raggedy ann and andy #raggedy ann & andy: a musical adventure #raggedy ann and andy: a musical adventure #raggedy ann the musical adventure #hi hello I'm a little less than midways through the second book but I really really like the whimsical light hearted writing style #there's a charm to the books that keeps me reading for hours at a time. if I read this as a kid it would have fundamentally changed me #the whole aspect of the dolls being alive and mature but silly and still a bit childish is super cute #and the fact the dolls can communicate with animals too. like. it's such an interesting idea. I really love these books so far #the sibling relationship in the movie was so so sweet. then seeing them in the musical was jarring LMAO #also just the music and the characters and the ANIMATION AGGHGGHH. I am in pieces #also oh my gosh can. can we talk about raggedy ann and raggedy andy having the same painted smile. meeting again fifty years later #AUGH. #these books are just nothing but fluffy and fun and I LOVE IT

[yellowloid]

FINALLY managed to make some progress on my wip thank GOD and all the saints in heaven for this christmas miracle

#it's kind of a funny story btw. life has been so hectic since the end of october i haven't really had time to write as such #only editing stuff that was already written and ready (the first two chapters of my fic that i posted) #but over the past few days i've gone back to reread the next parts and i've made some interesting discoveries #one of them being that i miscalculated and i don't in fact just have the 3rd chapter ready. i also have the 4th lmao #so that was a nice surprise #anyway. the other day after rereading the whole thing and making a couple of edits here and there i closed the doc and called it a day #that's what we call progress 🥰🥰🥰 #(was procrastinating as a result of being irrationally afraid of writing again after two months) #but yeah long story short. i FINALLY got back to actually writing tonight #made some actual progress on the 5th chapter and i'm so proud of myself for that you have no idea lmao #we're SO back baby #writing stuff