#i'm not gonna call myself selfish for wanting to know what i did wrong lol. and i'm not gonna call myself selfish for having wanted to fix

[my-strange-attraction]

Man people really do be straw-manning you and then interpreting all of your arguments in the worst faith possible and acting like that makes them So Smart And Correct. I’m sorry you gotta deal with all these bozos with zero reading comprehension or critical thinking skills. Just wanna add because it’s been seriously bothering me and I don’t remember you ever bringing it up: one of the core tenets of the original op’s post that you responded to was basically ‘this identity is bad because I’m a lesbian and those people aren’t lesbians in the exact same way as me so they’re hurting the lesbian community because I don’t want to see them when they don’t share all of my experiences and (gasp!) talk about men and their relationship to men sometimes because *I* don’t want to hear about men’ and I just. Idk man if that’s what his argument boils down to its kind of a shitty argument. Even ignoring all of the terf rhetoric (which you correctly pointed out) I can’t even begin to understand why someone would want to be in a queer community where everyone fits into neat little boxes and everyone with your label experiences their orientation exactly like you. Aren’t they forgetting that the whole point of the queer community is that larger society attempted to put us in boxes we didn’t want to be in and categorize us into labels and lifestyles we didn’t want? Why would someone ever parrot the actions of our oppressors and do that to other queer people, when they know what it feels like? I can’t even fathom being that selfish and closed minded

>your argument is chock full of straight up lies  Love how this was said in response to your rebuttal of an argument that CONTAINED ITS OWN “STRAIGHT UP LIES”!! Like pot meet kettle lol. Specifically referring to that one bit that was like “uwu bi women tried really hard on purpose to distance themselves from the lesbian community” because that is straight up not what happened!! I haven’t said anything yet but it’s been bothering me for a while and that one ask has so much fucking Audacity that I couldn’t stop myself from Pointing It Out this time. Ahistorical bullshit and they’re accusing YOU of lying. The audacity of it all I can’t

Anyway these guys are just mad that bi lesbians get more bitches than they EVER will. I heart bi lesbians I love you bi lesbians I hope y’all stay winning mwah <3

I'm assuming these are all from the same person because of the timing? If not, sorry for not doing separate responses.

Yeah, this whole thing has been pretty frustrating to be honest. In a way it's even worse than actual terfs, because these are people who are philosophically not that different than I am, and if we met in real life we probably wouldn't even know that we disagree. I mean, I do talk sometimes about label anarchy with some of my friends, but we have to be close and you have to get me in a philosophical mood. It's really frustrating to be openly disrespected as a person for one opinion that, though it does happen to be really important to me, doesn't come up in my everyday life (or, likely, theirs either).

The whole pronoun thing really got to me too. I KNOW they were just strawmanning, and I KNOW it wasn't really a valid critique of anything I said, but the suggestion that I would even consider purposely using the wrong pronouns for someone is upsetting. I don't think he even noticed before an anon pointed it out as a way to invalidate my argument. I don't think it upset him (or the anon) as much as the anon said it did. I still apologized though because I'm not going to not apologize for using the wrong pronouns.

Also I know jack shit about history because it doesn't stay in my break but yeah actually I do remember reading about that! That's crazy, I can't believe they called me a liar when they don't know their history. I mean, I don't either, but at least I'm honest about it.

Thanks so much for sending these messages! Not gonna lie, I was going a bit crazy with all this and the only anons I was getting until now have been the hate ones that I've shared and a few hate ones that I just outright deleted. I know people agree with me because I've seen the likes on my posts, but it's nice to have someone defending me as well, so thank you <3

#ask #labels #queer #identity #cloudy rambles

[moriavamp]

Okay, you sensitive little princess. Let me lay this down for you.

You are the most complicated person ever, Terri. Oh I’m sorry!! I don’t fit your friend category, I can’t call you that!! Up yours. You identify with every gender ever and I don’t even know if that’s fucking possible and it makes no sense.

You claim to have DID, but got mad when an alter of mine said anything?? But when your “alters” were mean, it was okay!!

If anyone says one thing wrong, your little clan attacks. “Beloveds” is like an actual guard and it’s embarrassing. Imagine defending someone as horrible as you with their ENTIRE chest. You, Terri, are put on throne. You are not all that.

“Oh!! But they’re struggling mentally!! So it’s okay!!” Let’s not forget about the time they were the reason I almost offed myself because of how horrible you, your alters, and friends treated me. “They’re a people pleaser and wants everyone to be okay!!” Complete lies. You are FAR from a people pleaser. You are not selfless, you are SELFISH.

You’re literally a piece of shit who gets anything they want by playing victim. The amount of times you have vented to me when I never wanted you to/without warning. Stop being a bitch and own up.

Get wrecked Stan lol

A. I identify as non-binary. Not "every gender ever". I'm simply non-binary. B. I have NEVER said I had DID. I said I have a PERSONALITY DISORDER. And your alter called my friend a proshipper for shipping a harmless ship just because your "alter" got mad. That's just dumb. My plurals were only "mean" because you legitimately were putting so much stress on me that my health was at risk.

C. I don't control Beloveds. You expect me to keep them on a fucking leash or something?? They're not a dog, they have their own free will. I'm not gonna tell them what to do. I never said I wasn't at fault to some extent. I was, I'll admit that. You made me do this, honey. You're the reason for this. I banned you from my server and all this only happened because you can't understand the term no. I tried to come to an understanding but you wouldn't even consider what anyone but yourself wanted. I cried on a VC from the sheer stress of trying to make everyone have what they wanted.

BTW I vented ONCE. Full censored all of it too. Stop lying and playing the victim, you fucking hypocrite. You also called my plurals pets and followers, so fuck off. All you’re doing is harassing me, and if you’re trying to bully me off the internet, it won’t work. 

#Usually I'd fucking delete these asks and move on #But I know who this is and I'm fucking over this shit #I'm trying to move on #And you're just proving my point as to why this fandom is terrible #You are part of the reason I hate South Park and it's community #You complain that I wouldn't leave you alone #Which I did btw #You just kept bringing yourself into my DMs #It's been so long since all of this happened #And LOOK WHO THE BITCH WAS #Did I crawl into your DMs? No. #Did I leave you alone? Yes. #I don't need to be arguing with a thirteen year old. #I'm sorry you feel like this. But go fuck yourself. #I'm trying to leave this all behind me. #And you won't fucking let me. #Leave. #Me. #Alone. #I'm really sorry that you're so blind that you think I'm the only person who did this #But like legit #Get out of my asks #Get a life #I'm moving on #You should too.

[waltnut]

Yes, I'm a THIRSTY, HORNY and DEHYDRATED bicht. But I am proud of myself. Can I request more NSFW head cannons of our monster boyfriend? But don't make it dark, maybe add some after segg cares if you want? I LOVE YOU.

Don’t make it dark?? Don’t you know what I’m about??? I can’t believe this.

No I’m joking lol well damn, NSFW? Okay well, this is for the Monster Fuckers so kiddies look away. I’m sorry to those who don’t like NsFw. I will tag it as “NSFT” for Not Safe for Timeline but I also hide it under the cut. I’m sorry. I had fun with this...now I’m embarrassed lmao You guys seem to like these so...

The prompt has me thrown a bit, but I’ll just make some stuff up, I hope that’s okay.

NSFW Headcanons - Monster Boyfriend edition: Demon Lords, Vol. 1

Adult content. These are demons. If this disturbs you, then stop reading here. Otherwise, enjoy?

Lucifer

Level 3

He sheds his feathers on his body when he’s nervous. MC makes him nervous when he’s like this. What do they think of him? Is he ugly? Would they call him a monster?

He’s the most submissive in this form. Gentle touches make him shiver and jump. He feels the most vulnerable and actively moves away from MC if they try to be intimate.

But he wants the intimacy. It’s reassuring. He’s still wanted. He actually might cry a bit. He’s sensitive, be nice.

MC will have to do most of the initiating. After the first time MC had had intimacy with him like this, he will be more confident the next times they engage in any sexual activity.

Level 4

All the pride and confidence. None of that level 3 sissy business, he will have you.

He’s very grabby, and maybe grips a little too tight. He likes the power of being stronger than you. He wants you to know it.

He seems to always have his wings as wide as he can make them. It must be some sort of mating dance. He does have that part bird instinct in there somewhere. He wants to show off, maybe intimidate you a bit. Does he like fear?

Might use the feathers on his tail to tickle you to make you squirm while he has you. What fun!

Mammon

Level 3

He is very clingy. He wants to always be touching you. Even if it’s just the tips of his wings or tail, he wants to have the physical touch.

As he goes through this level, his ability to sense any Greed from the MC to be highly erotic. Talking about buying those new clothes you’ve been wanting? Turn on. Saying how you’re gonna share any of them with him? He can’t contain himself.

He loves pets. Brushes against his hair, feathers, scales, will make him coo. Bird noises, gotta love them.

Easy seduction outfit, should you choose to wear one, anything shiny. Gold chains? Perfect. Sheer black clothes but with gold edges and designs? Also perfect. He can’t resist the shiny.

Level 4

Don’t even think about leaving him, until he lets you. You’re part of his treasure now and he will preen and polish you accordingly.

Lazy in this form, expect lots of cuddling with the dragon. He’s quite warm. The texture on his underside is soft like skin even though it looks like lizard scales. Don’t be surprised when you feel surprise boners while laying with him. He may be lazy, but he’s not tired.

Touching the skin texture of his body is a great seduction tactic should you need one. It’s the sensitive side to his body while the rest is covered in feathers and scales.

While he will dress up MC in gold as a mating ritual, should MC do the same to him, it is the greatest indicator that you are accepting his proposal for intimacy.

Leviathan

Level 3

Two dicks. Look we all know it. We all agree. Moving on.

Touching the purple frills on his ears is like touching his junk. It’s a highly erroneous zone for him. But be gently, they are very soft and sensitive.

Do you even lift? Well you might need to because he is going to be wrapped around you the entire time. He’s quite heavy and good luck getting out of that one.

Laying with him in water is the best way to show any intimate intentions. Even if you think it’ll be a relaxing chill in the water, think again.

Level 4

Now if you’re brave and choose to sleep with a giant ass sea monster, you’re in luck because he can manipulate water to allow you to breathe in the water.

He is the largest of all the brothers in terms of monster size. He’s a giant sea dragon. So be careful when dealing with...well, his size.

He likes to flip you around in the water, so staying in one position is not an option. It’s like a dance!

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the orange fleshy bits on his sides. The more he glows the more you know!

Satan

Level 3

If you’re into having sex after yelling and screaming at each other then congrats! So is he. Angry sex is what he’s about. He’s wrath. I mean, come on.

Belittle him. No really. He’ll want to prove you wrong. Fuels the fire.

Extremely dominant. Don’t even try to top him. Also you just finished? No rest for you, you’re going again.

He’s gonna scratch and mark you. Bring some bandaids.

Level 4

Okay first of all, you really want to sleep with this? He’s terrifying. He is an actual hell spawn. Well okay, be prepared for selfish sex. He’s rough.

Want to know if he’s into it? Watch the flames on his back. Can you pass your hand through it without it burning you? You pass. It’ll grow brighter and larger the closer he is to finishing.

Most likely to choke you.

Will call you names during the act, sorry. The “not nice” kind.

Asmodeus

Level 3

Words are your biggest weapon. Constant love and adoration is all you need when he’s like this. You won’t even need to touch him to work the magic.

As the avatar of lust, he knows the human body of all genders. His genitalia resembles a males’ but it does have a clit on the bottom side of the head of the dick. You can get real creative with that.

Kiss and touch his ears! He loves it. They might flick at your touch, but he’s into it.

Is able to have his scorpion tails in this form if he chooses to, and he likes pushing and pulling you around with them.

Level 4

More of a Dom in this form. He also enjoys a good mess.

Don’t grab onto his tails, he’s not into it. But grabbing onto his mane? Go right ahead with that.

A little bitey. Vampire tendencies.

Most likely to try and sex you on the ceiling. Why? Not sure. But he’s able to do it so just roll with it.

Beelzebub

Level 3

Look at that long ass tongue. He’s gonna use it. Why wouldn’t he use it? You’re gonna want him to use it. The paralysis saliva he can produce is something he can choose to use.

Will jump on you out of nowhere. No literally, where did he come from? It’s 3 Am and everyone else is asleep. But a good smack will get him to stop if it’s unwanted. Bad puppy.

He might share his food with you if he’s offering intimacy. Like with his mouth. Like it might already be chewed a bit.

Chromeo lyrics: ((Don’t turn the lights on! I want to see you in the dark~.)) His eyes are sensitive, okay.

Level 4

You ever had sex with a Minotaur? You ever wanted to?

Will carry you off to a secluded area that he has found for himself. He doesn’t want to be disturbed.

The longer you go with him, the hotter his body feels. Just like when he feeds, he’ll have steam coming off his body.

Most likely to hump your leg.

Belphegor

Level 3

He enjoys you being uncomfortable. Emotionally or physically.

Sleep paralysis demon. Hey, at least you won’t be doing most of the work.

He’ll quietly hum a lullaby to you to see if you’ll accept his intimacy proposal. If you hum back, you accept. Careful, he might hum your favorite song.

His wool is so soft. Why is it so soft? You need to touch all of it.

Level 4

If you’re not banging irl, you will in your dreams.

You ever wanted to have sex in space? He can make the best magic Galaxy projector you’ve ever seen, and without the paid promotion!

His wool smells of soothing herbs and incense. So despite his creepy ass behavior, you find a way to calm your nerves.

You’ll have the best sleep you’ve ever had afterwards.

#obey me #obey me headcanons #monster boyfriend #nsft

[mypoisonedvine]

Side Effects | Bruce Banner x reader

summary: you never know what might be in the beakers at another chemist's station. you never know which of your colleagues might come along just in the knick of time to become the only antidote to your affliction.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut! (dub con due to sex pollen), semi-public sex (because technically someone could have walked by but unlikely), guilt/hesitance, kinda pining??, fingering, creampie,

a/n: yes, this is an accurate depiction of emergency shower protocol in a chemical lab and yes it is every lab technician's worst nightmare. thankfully the other stuff is not an accurate depiction of any known chemical, lol.

You wiped your forehead with a tired sigh, staring down at the calculations in front of you before using your pen to scribble over them before tearing out the page and throwing it away.

“You still do that by hand?” Bruce interjected, making you look up at where he was leaning in the doorway to the lab, watching you work.

“Oh, Dr. Banner!” you greeted with a smile, wondering if it was too ecstatic. You weren’t so good at the ‘playing it cool’ thing like he seemed to be.

“We have all those fancy screens and digital whiteboards, you know,” he explained as he stepped in and looked around at your work. “Not to mention the computer can do that stuff for you.”

“I know,” you scoffed, “but I always feel better doing it myself, on real paper. Not that I’m having any luck at the moment…”

"Here, I'll give them a quick look while you take a break," he offered, glancing at the numbers from over your shoulder. "You just get up and stretch your legs for a minute, doc."

You always thought it was sort of silly for him to call you that when he was a doctor as well, but you didn't complain.

Regardless, you were about to tell him that it was fine and you didn't need a break, but he was leaning in closer to take your seat and the proximity was so intimidating that you hopped up and went along with it anyways. He sat down and pondered your calculations while you circled the lab, taking a moment to appreciate how nice it felt to stand up and move around after sitting for so long.

"Your handwriting is…" Bruce trailed off, adjusting his glasses.

"Feminine and graceful?" you finished sarcastically.

"Sure," he chuckled.

"Yeah, just like me—" you started to quip, but mid-sentence you (ironically) stumbled and tripped, using a nearby table to catch yourself— but you accidentally grabbed onto a beaker, which tipped over and smashed onto the ground. The liquid inside spilled onto the floor just before you did, and you winced as you fell into the puddle of the unknown substance.

“Shit!” you hissed as you scrambled to get up, looking down at your clothes and seeing they were covered in the fluid, which was beginning to evaporate, or steam, or something. Remembering lab safety protocols, you instantly began to strip, closing your eyes and wishing Bruce hadn’t come in just before this. As you shirked your lab coat, shirt, and skirt, you walked to the emergency shower, pulling the lever and gasping when the chilly stream of water poured down on you. Bruce looked at you with wide eyes before being kind enough to turn around as you shivered and removed your bra and underwear, now completely naked and weakly scrubbing yourself with your hands in hopes that none of the chemical had gotten onto your skin.

“What is it?” he asked nervously, turning his head back enough that you could hear him over the flow of water, but hopefully not so much that he could see anything important.

“I don’t know,” you answered, “it’s not mine. It’s something Dr. Sutherland was working on…”

“Is it… are you in pain at all?” he asked, even more concerned, and you tried to decide if you could feel any effects.

“N-no…” you answered hesitantly. You felt hot, and strange, and you were covered in rolling chills, but you figured that was just the situation you were in— naked in a tepid shower in front of your coworker who just so happened to be incredibly sexy.

“I should call poison control,” Bruce offered as he reached for his cell phone.

“No, I’m fine,” you denied as the water flow slowed down and you wiped your face, confident that you looked like a complete mess— but at least you saved yourself from whatever was in that beaker, right?

“Here,” Bruce offered an emergency blanket to you after pulling it off a nearby shelf, and it was not at all absorbent but it helped with the draft as you stepped away from the shower which was still leaking the last few drops of water onto the drain on the floor.

“Thank you,” you nodded nervously, shivering and dripping and looking back at him with no idea what to say at all.

“Do you feel alright? I should check you for burns,” he suggested. “I— I won’t look…”

“Please,” you sighed, pulling the blanket a bit to expose your chest and stomach. He brushed his hand over the skin there, making you instantly whine as heat burned just under your skin, clouding your mind and making you crave even more.

"Did that hurt?" he asked anxiously, pulling away, but you stepped closer.

"No it's… it's good, it's so good."

He furrowed his brow as he looked down at you, putting the back of his hand to your forehead. "You're burning up, doc, you must be running a fever of 105."

"Touch me more, please," you whimpered. It was like you were in a dream, everything foggy and distant, and the only time that anything made sense was when he touched you. Or maybe it was that his touch sent you further into delirium; you couldn't be sure.

He gasped when he looked at your quivering legs only to find slick arousal running down the inside of them, threatening to drip onto the floor.

"Oh," he sighed.

"Please," you begged mindlessly, "Dr. Banner, I n-need you…"

"No, you need medical attention."

You whined and grabbed as his shirt, humming at the feeling of his warm skin just beneath. If the forearms that he often left exposed in rolled-up sleeves were anything to go buy, his chest was probably toned and tanned, lightly dusted with dark hair… you were all but drooling at the thought. "Please, Bruce… just help me," you pleaded, looking up into his eyes which were swirling with conflict.

"I can't," he shook his head. "I'd be taking advantage."

He must have seen the heartbreak of rejection make you wince, because he tried to soothe you with his hands resting on your arms— even just that contact making you suppress a moan.

"I've wanted this for so long," he explained, "and you— you haven't. You're unwell, you need to go to a hospital."

You sobbed a little at the idea of being taken away from him and examined by strangers, when you knew the solution was right in front of you. "No, no Bruce they'll touch me! Nobody can touch me but you, I only want you."

He scoffed, but you heard the weakness in it and you needed him to give in soon before you melted from your own hear. "You're deranged— delirious," he reiterated.

"It'll feel so good, please Bruce, I'll be so good for you— anything you want, I'll do it, I'm yours."

"Stop talking like that," he winced. "I can't… I can't."

"I need to feel you inside me, Dr. Banner, I need it more than anything. It's just gonna get worse… please, help me. I want you. I trust you."

"You'll hate me in the morning," he asserted. "God, this is so wrong…"

But much to your relief, he reached down and hesitantly slid his thick middle finger through your folds, gasping gently as he felt how wet you were. "I should t-take you somewhere private."

"No, need you now— right here," you pleaded, trying to chase his touch with your hips.

"But if someone came by—" he began to fret, glancing at the door; but his attention was turned back to you by your hands weaving into his hair.

"Nobody else stays this late, god, Bruce please I just need you so bad—"

He cut you off with a sudden kiss, which was enough on its own to make warmth bloom in your gut, but then he started to move his finger again and you shuddered with a moan that was muffled by his lips.

"Maybe I can make you come like this," he offered as he pulled back just enough to whisper to you, "would that help you? It'll take the edge off."

You bucked and moaned against his fingers, just those subtle touches driving you wild. "N-no, it has to be inside! You have to fuck me, I need your cock."

He breathed through his teeth, like he was almost considering it, but then looked away. "I can't," he shook his head.

"Can't or won't?"

He frowned. "Won't. I'll get you off with my fingers, otherwise it would be… too selfish."

"Bruce, I'm literally begging you for it," you sighed, the irritated tone that you'd intended lost in the moans he elicited by rubbing your swollen clit.

"I know," he winced, "I know and it's killing me that I can't give you what you're asking for… I swear if it wasn't like this…" he trailed off as you looked up at him with your bottom lip between your teeth.

"What would it be like?" you asked lowly. "Tell me how you would fuck me."

For all his shyness before, there was a brief switch in his demeanor as he leaned in, breath hot against your neck as he whispered, two fingers sliding into your channel at the exact moment that he spoke.

"So fucking hard."

You whimpered, knees wobbling a bit as you tried to ride his fingers— but he wasn't pushing back, wasn't giving you enough force to balance against when you sought more friction. "P-please, Bruce— I know you want to, please, please baby I need it so bad…"

"I know," he breathed, free hand cradling your face as his thumb stroked your cheek, and it was so needlessly compassionate, so effortlessly soothing that your heart had no choice but to clench at his tenderness. Other parts of you clenched as well, in much more literal ways, but the heart thing was more important.

You gingerly reached forward and palmed his cock through his pants, moaning when you felt how hard it was. "You're desperate, too," you informed him with a little smile. "It hurts, doesn't it? It aches."

"Yes," he answered tensely.

"I'm hurting too. I'm aching, for you. Please, Bruce, help me."

As he pulled back and examined your face, he chewed his lip and contemplated. He couldn't stand to see you in pain, but he couldn't comprehend what he had to do to help you. Well, okay, that's not totally accurate because he had actually "comprehended" the idea of making love to you plenty of times. But that was just a fantasy, a very misguided one that he only indulged in in his weakest moments. And in those fantasies, shockingly enough, you were always completed lucid and of sound mind and body. He sadly could not say that for you at the moment, and of course he couldn't because of course when you were sober and healthy, you didn't see him that way.

Bruce prided himself on his logic, his integrity, his patience. Suddenly, those qualities were falling prey to a much deeper, carnal instinct that saw this not as a predicament but as an opportunity. Logic states, after all, that it would be wasteful to have everything he wanted thrown into his lap and to let it go to waste.

"Fuck," he groaned as he kissed you again, fucking you faster with his fingers. You moaned and went for his belt, barely managing to open it with your hands shaking so much; part of you had considered just trying to rip the leather off of him, and with the force of your need it seemed almost plausible.

Finally getting his trousers opened just enough to reach inside, you purred as you reached in and navigated past his boxers to wrap your fingers around his hard cock. It was so thick and smooth and hot and you almost wanted to drop to your knees and take it in your throat right then, but you had better plans.

He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, grinning against you at the way you whined, before wrapping his arms around you and quickly instructing you to jump.

It was infuriating, how easily he caught you when you wrapped your body around him. Infuriating and so painfully sexy.

He never broke the kiss as he walked the two of you to your lab table, sliding the papers aside and onto the floor to set you on it. You started on his aggravatingly-small shirt buttons while he pushed his trousers and boxers down the rest of the way, and god his cock was right there between your legs, so close but very much too far away for your liking.

You didn't have the time or energy to get his shirt off, settling for just running your hands over the exposed skin instead. He grinned and watched the path your hands made, hissing slightly when they wrapped around his shaft— for a second you swore you could feel it throb.

"Don't make me wait anymore," you whispered your plea, sighing a little when he nodded.

"Okay baby," he agreed.

"Been waiting so long," you whined.

"Me too," he nodded, and with a little push, his cock slid all the way into you and filles you to the brim. Even when you were completely drenched, the girth of him was so wide that it stung, that it tore you open, but you loved it. Your head fell back and just from him being inside you, you came. The substance had you so needy and sensitive that that was all it took. It wasn't enough yet, of course. You knew you needed more. But God, he felt so good you could hardly breathe.

"Baby," you heard Bruce gasp, his fingers digging into your hips. Your chest twisted when he laughed a little, breathless and just teetering on the line between complimentary and mocking. "Did you just come?"

You considered playing dumb, but nodded instead.

His smile was apparent when he pressed his lips just below your ear to suck on the delicate skin there, his teeth trailing up to nibble your earlobe lightly. You hoped he would leave a mark, you hoped he would leave lots of marks that you could remember this by for weeks to come.

"Couldn't help yourself, huh?" he asked breathlessly, whispering so quietly you could barely hear it over the beating of your own pulse which echoed in your ears.

"You feel so good," you justified, "so fucking good, Bruce."

"You too," he sighed as he finally pulled back and slid into you again, the friction making your back arch instantly. "Even better than I imagined."

You smiled and wrapped your legs around his hips, forcing him to push deeper with each thrust. When he pushed you to your limits it felt like you might just fall apart right there, but it was so worth it.

As if that wasn't enough, he reached down and circled a thumb over your overstimulated clit, grinning down at you at the sight of you writhing and bucking wildly in his arms.

"Fuck!" you cried as you tightened your hands on his shoulders into fists hard enough to risk tearing through his shirt.

"Too much?"

"More," you pleaded instead, crying out when he gave you exactly what you wanted with fast, rough thrusts into your drenched walls. "Yes," you sobbed, "yes, fuck— m'gonna come, Bruce, gonna come again."

"Go ahead," he encouraged, voice so much rougher than normal, "show me how good it feels, baby."

It felt like his words were the thin that pushed you over the edge, as if your body somehow both understood and obeyed his command. You could feel a renewed wave of slick leak out from you, enough that you could hear the wetness in each slap of his hips against yours. His name was somewhere in the litany of curses and praises that spilled from your lips, your mind too clouded with hazy pleasure to keep track of what you were actually saying.

"Just like that," he groaned, "doing so good, fuck, say my name just like that every time I make you come."

An easy enough stricture to follow, especially when it seemed like he was all you could think about. He looked so different with his clothes half-shorn and his eyes dark with lust. He hadn't taken his glasses or labcoat off and you weren't sure which of those you were happier about.

His lips and hands were all over you; you couldn't even keep track of everywhere he was touching you, that's how overwhelming it was. "God, you're so fucking perfect," he groaned against your skin, finding a hardened nipple as his tongue explored you and wrapping his lips around it. "You are so goddamn sexy, you know that? I love seeing you with your legs spread for me like a needy little whore. I love hearing you moan and knowing I'm the one making you feel this good."

He took a moment to look at you and soak in your shocked reaction to his words before leaning in to continue.

"I love feeling you come for me," he purred in your ear.

"Then you're gonna really like what I'm about to do," you shivered.

"Yeah? You can gimme another one already?" he smiled. "Such a good girl…"

You really couldn't help it, it felt like everything he did only enhanced your pleasure— his words, his hands all over you, not to even mention his cock inside you. As much as the hedonistic corner of your brain was happy to let this go on forever, the ramifications of constant orgasms were finally catching up with you as you wondered how much more of this you could take.

"F-fuck, are you close?" you asked weakly. "Want you to come for me, Bruce, please."

"I-I'll pull out," he suggested, although the way he looked down at his length sinking into you and pulling back out, covered in your abundant arousal, didn't exactly indicate that he was willing and able to actually make good on his offer.

"No!" you yelped, pulling him closer by his unbuttoned shirt. "It needs to be inside, Bruce, please come inside me."

"Fuck," he hissed through his teeth.

"Please, Bruce, please, promise you'll come inside."

"I will," he sighed, "fuck, I will baby, I promise I'm gonna fill you up so good, you're gonna have my come so fucking deep inside you…"

"Yes!" you moaned, completely unabashed as the unknown substance had apparently absolved you of any shame whatsoever. "Yes, I want it, Bruce, I want your come."

The moment you felt his seed start to paint your walls, you felt relief begin to wash over you. Your mind and body relaxed, the overwhelming heat under your skin subsiding into a comforting warmth, the desperation that had burned in your gut satiated at last.

And that left you staring up at him in realization of what you had done, just as he looked back at you with the same.

"God, I'm so sorry—" he shuddered, moving to pull away. Instinctively your legs wrapped around his hips again, holding him close.

"N-no, wait," you groaned, "it's okay. Don't go."

"You don't hate me," he said, the exhaustion in his tone making it hard to tell if it was a question or a statement.

"Never," you sighed with a weak smile, sitting up to clutch his face and kiss him again. "God, Bruce, now I'm just wondering what took us so long."

"Our lab safety is just too good, clearly," he smiled as he kissed you again, pulling back a little too soon to examine your face where he held it in his hands. "Are you okay? You should still probably go to a doctor…"

"I'm already with a doctor," you smirked, "and his treatment was very effective."

"Yeah, that was…" he trailed off, wide eyes as if he were reminiscing about what had only just transpired.

"Sorry for being so… desperate," you cringed. "I didn't mean to… um… impose…"

He just laughed and kissed your forehead, making you feel your cheeks warm a bit; ironic that with everything that had just happened, this was what made you blush. "A beautiful, amazing woman that I've been dreaming about for months begs me to take her in the laboratory… really inconvenient."

"I mean, cleaning up these papers and the broken glass is gonna be pretty tedious, along with the incident report," you frowned.

"I'll help you with it," he offered.

"Tomorrow," you decided. "Right now, I'm taking you to my place."

"Is that so?" he asked with a bemused smirk.

"Yep. We both are in serious need of a shower, and then I wanna go again," you grinned wickedly.

"I thought you said you weren't feeling the effects of the chemical anymore," he recalled, voice tinted with concern.

"I'm not," you reassured, "I'm just feeling the effects of you."

#bruce banner x reader #bruce banner x you #bruce banner smut #bruce banner x y/n

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Okay, leaving aside my hatred towards Endeavor for a moment, I must admit I love his existence in the narrative as a character who makes everything around him more complex.

I have some meta about him prepared, but unfortunately I based all of it on a non-official translation of the manga. What I'm gonna do is rewatch the anime and take it from there, but in summary, it's a total show to see how he sabotages himself over and over by not listening to what people tells him and only following what he thought they said, not what they meant.

(I ended up writing a LONG post about this anyway, lol. I'd appreciate if you keep reading).

His approach to trying to make up for all he did to his family was to pressure himself to be the best hero of the world. A hero good enough to make his children and his wife proud. When actually, what he family needed and needs is for him to fulfill his duty as a father and a husband. They need Enji Todoroki, nor Endeavor. They don't need him to become stronger or faster or win even more prizes. They need him to talk and share about their day, to cook and clean the house, to watch TV together and go places together.

Enji is so focused on the narrative he made in his mind that he's unable to understand where is he wrong, which is extremely selfish being honest. The reason why he suffers so much and makes others suffer so much is because he is unable to communicate efficiently. This is a constant in the bnha narrative, a theme that is in every plot and arc. Whenever a hero or a villain finds themselves trapped, they soon realize is because they've closed their minds and hearts and let others out, so they can't receive suggestions or advice, nor try new ways others can see but not them.

Endeavor is the embodiment of the tragedy that comes with not opening your mind and heart and letting people change you. It is the tragedy of the old generation of pro-heroes, in fact. That's the reason why the UA kids have evolved so much through the manga, but the pro-heroes haven't changed that much, with a few exceptions.

Let's analyze how it relates to Endeavor's quirk, shall we? When fire gets released, it generates heat and light and sound; it is energy. Endeavor most noticeable trait is his excess release of energy. He's always on fire, shouting and using his strength over the top. He does what I could call a total waste of his resources.

He works excessively, to the point his own light blinds him. The moments Enji is relaxed, truly relaxed, are few on the manga. He lives in a constant competition. Do you know what happens to any object that is continually pressured? It wears down, it breaks. Or in other words, what is constantly burning without rest will soon enough burn out and fade away.

He held his wife to his standards and then his kids. He forced them to keep a rhythm that broke all of them, just because he felt a failure himself. I don't know y'all, but if the man I admires calls himself a failure, with all he does, and I want to be like him and I'm unable to even reach a piece of what he is, I'm gonna feel fatal myself. That's what happened to Touya. He took everything his dad threw at him. The problem is not that Touya couldn't resist, the problem is that he learned too much from Enji. He copied every trait and behavior, his recklessness and his self-centered view of the world, his insane standards and perfectionism, his ignorance in terms of how much he could stand and his desperation to be enough, be more, please everyone.

Rei ended up in the hospital because she tried to keep up to Enji. The stress was too big and she made a mistake, burning her younger son and marking him forever. And Shouto also tried to keep up, with almost results in him becoming just as blind as his brother and father, if it wasn't for Deku. And what about Fuyumi and Natsuo? Well, we saw how Fuyumi took up the role of the mother of the house and how Natsuo, who has for me the healthiest reaction to it all, distanced himself and rejected all the pressure. But deep down, Natsuo trauma is more related to what he let his dad do to his family than anything else. He thinks is partially his fault what happened with Touya and Shouto, with Rei and Fuyumi. He got caught in the middle, feeling useless and helpless, like a ghost.

It could all have been avoided if only Enji stopped for a while, reminding his family that they were perfect as they were or that he was already proud of them. The issue with this type of family dynamics is that they didn't need a meteor to fall from heaven or a god to point the way, but rather they lacked the little things, the daily things. A kiss in the forehead and a story for the night, a picnic and a trip to the beach. Endeavor was too worry about the big picture that he forgot everyh paint is made with tiny strokes. But he didn't have time, he was too busy for a family he forced to exists. He wanted them, didn't him? Then why he was never truly there if he wanted them so much?

When he was there, they were filled with fear. Did he notice it? Or course he did. It's impossible to miss the type of stares Touya and Rei had in their faces, the cries of Shouto, the trembling of Fuyumi and Natsuo.

As I see it, Enji is facing a simply but not easy (for him) decision:

If he really wants to redeem himself in front of his family, he needs to devotee his days to being with them. He needs to make up for all the time he wasn't there, for all the wrong he did, he needs to take in flesh and soul the consequences of his actions.

And it'd be hard to do so if he is the number one hero in Japan, knowing he's gonna be busier than ever. Now that he has what he wanted so much, is it worth all the trouble? Touya and him are mirrors in that sense. If Dabi makes his family suffer and kill his dad and then dies himself, could he call that a victory? Would he feel okay or just less miserable? Now that Endeavor has what he wanted, did it fill his life like he thought it would?

Does he prefer to lose his family but be Japan hero number one or give up the title in order to take back the life he sacrificed for his dream?

For me, that's the core of Enji's conflict right now on the manga. You can see it by how he went to fight AFO and not Touya. Again, he picked his hero duty over his family, making Kotaro quiet right. After all, heroes hurt their own families to save total strangers all the time, don't they?

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #Endeavor #Enji Todoroki #Shan's mha opinions #Shan's bnha opinions #Bnha spoilers

[fictionkinfessions]

Right back @ 🍬👿 : no please feel free to 404 because after reading yours and quite literally tearing up (is that maybe weird to say ? Idk, when I first saw it I was just real emotional lol) so bad I needed a day or two, I don't blame you !!

I didn't mean to seem serious about the candy thing ; while it was mildly annoying at the best of times, and even aggravating at the worst of times, I figured, from your "story" you told us about, it was understandable to be a bit.. Not aggressive so much, but just really fond of taking them all before someone else could do it. Or to just, not have them be used as something to use you ; after all, if you had all of them, nobody could say there was no candy, or drag you along by saying you'd get some later. Again, I don't actually blame you for that, so please try not to feel bad about it !

I think we both tried to fit in to roles we really knew nothing about--for all that I tried to get Daozhang to listen to my concerns about you, especially after figuring out who you were, trying to do that when I was, quite literally, just Someone who happened to exist, was a little foolish. At least, that's how I see it now, because really, what was it that I was gonna do ?? I wasn't a cultivator like the both of you ; quite literally, I was in no position to even try to stop you, because I didn't have the means. Still, I'm glad once of us considers me brave for that !!

I wasn't happy that we knew each other, myself, back then. I always dreamt of what a life would've been like if Daozhang and I hadn't found you, or if I hadn't tried to steal from him, after the two of us met up again. Ultimately, though... We did have good times, suspicious as I was of you, when we were together. Despite everything, there were times I sincerely enjoyed being around you, both on our own (the times Daozhang left us on our own) and when we were with Daozhang. I was genuinely happy for a long time. I think my life wouldn't have been so... Let's say eventful, if I hadn't known you and Daozhang. And I do mean the "and", there. I can't imagine a life where I didn't know either one of you, even now. Pain and fear and what-have-you all, I don't regret or hate knowing you anymore (I won't say I never did ; I like to think I've grown up a little, in some ways, too, after all this time).

I think looking at it as a then vs now situation really helps me, yanno ? I can see, a little bit, why you responded and reacted the way you did ; was it right ? Maybe not. Likely not. But for who you were, and for what you experienced, it's understandable. I just couldn't see it that way, when it all happened. I think dying was the best for all of us, even Song Daozhang. If we hadn't, we may not have been able to talk like this.

I'll try to work on not blaming myself ! I can't speak for any Daozhang('s) of course, but the blame I still do kinda see as lying, partially, with me, since I couldn't just relax completely. Sure, in the context of things, like I and even you said before, it was for the best, I do find myself wishing I hadn't tried to pry, sometimes. That I hadn't found out who you were, when I did. I'm not upset with the fact that I ran into Song Daozhang, don't get me wrong, but like I said before... There were times we had together that were genuinely good. They were better than anything I'd known, back then. But, I've realized two things, since then, too ; for one, similar to what you said, the lie was, likely, never going to hold up forever. Eventually, something or someone would've slipped, and the truth would have come out. We really never were in a "what if we find out" situation, but a "when will we find out" one. For two, though, I don't quite want to say it's selfish of me to have hoped this because to call it selfish just doesn't seem to fit, to me (though maybe others might disagree), it just seems... Optimistic, I think. Far more optimistic than I think I actually was, especially at that time. And maybe it's not wrong of me to feel that way, but again, things would have been revealed sooner or later. We just happened to get it sooner. And that's okay, I think.

I said it up there myself, but I disagree with you on that--maybe we didn't have to die at your hands (or our own, in Daozhang's case), but we all had to. If we'd lived, I don't know how we'd have found it in ourselves to have seen things from a different perspective, least of all from yours. I think it's better now that we can at least see things from all possible sides and just attempt to understand based on it. And as for working hard on yourself, I totally support you in that !!! I would say it's already visible (I'm assuming you've started already, here, so bear with me now), but working on yourself is pretty lifelong, huh ? No matter what, from now on, you've got me at your back !! Even if it turns out I'm not the A-Qing from your memories (I don'thave too many myself, but when I saw your initial confession, I just felt I had to make it known to you that one of us doesn't blame you), you've got one of us supporting you !

Though... From the sidelines. I saw your reblog on your response and mine (and @ MPC, I'm sorry if this goes against a rule because I forgot to check beforehand 😭 I can resend this w/o this part if I need to), and while I did say I hoped we'd all be able to know each other again one day, talking to canonmates one on one, on a personal level, makes me nervous. It's literally a me thing so this isn't a "I don't actually wanna talk to you" sorta deal, but I've just never really tried talking to people like that. I'm actually gonna try to overcome that nervousness at my own pace, though, so, again, maybe one day I'll be confident enough to reach out to you on your blog ! I hope you understand, because for now, like you, just knowing you're here is enough for me. Knowing you and I are alive again, at the same time, is enough for me. And to know you're doing alright is better than you doing bad, so that's definitely something I'm happy about for you ! I hope nothing but good things are in YOUR future, too, from here on out !

(If there's something I can genuinely apologize for though, it's for the length of this post ; it's late where I am now, and when I get tired, I tend to ramble //head in hands. I hope it actually goes through the inbox 😭)

#fictionkinfessions #ask response #mod party cat! #long post #food cw #death cw

[belphegorbillickin]

Honestly, I love Mammon but I'm sick of his sweetness. I see him EVERYWHERE, and it's like the others don't exist. I like it when characters lose their calm you know? Esp that time when we reject Satan's pact, I really liked how he got worked up over such a thing lmao. And of course, most of the ones who tried killing mc had stupid reasons, except for Lucifer imo, but since when did demons make sense?

Alright, sure, they can still be sweet, but imagine if they ACTUALLY were dark characters. Corrupting human souls, selfish desires, blah blah. I'm not saying they can't love mc, ofc they can be sweet and lovable, but that doesn't mean they'd lose their normal habits and quirks. You cannot differentiate between them and normal humans now. The traits that would portray them as demons isn't there.

And perhaps yes, routes would've been fun. Right/wrong answers? Seems legit lmao. But like you said, the characters could've been done so much better.

I liked them at the start, now that I think of it asmo was never really what he seemed to be at the start, but in the recent events to me, at least, he's all but that. Diavolo, Barbatos, they have potential to be dark characters lmao. Asmo too, esp abt Helene, he sure was manipulative. Seeing Satan just be about cats/books upsets me bcuz he's one of my favs, and like you said, I feel he could've been a MUCH better character, plus idk he seems like he could be dark too. Other than beel & mammon, and I really don't know about belphie since he's become pretty sweet now, I feel everyone else could be written as characters with darker, more fitting demon personalities.

Though I love how we can go on about one topic for ages lmao. Lmk if my rambles become too annoying lol – 🍹

Don't worry about it, I really enjoy talking about it and I'm the queen of rambling lol. It's actually kinda hard for me to be concise when it comes to things like this.

And yes! Satan's reaction to rejection was exactly what I was thinking about when I mentioned that. I don't doubt most of the others would've reacted the same either tbh, but the difference between his reason for wanting to kill MC and his brothers' felt very different imo.

I'm kinda repeating myself, but I think people really overlook how cold Asmo was regarding getting MC killed. In that sense I can see how they get along with each other so well. I think I huge part of that is people coming in knowing that they're all gonna love MC and MC can't die so they don't even think about threats or subtle manipulation, but he's one of the most malicious imo since it was so cool-headed and planned.

Kind of like the theories about Barbatos and/or Diavolo purposefully sending you to a traumatic death because executing Belphie would cause the brothers to revolt. (Which I believe to extent btw.) Those four stand out as a lot more demonic imo because they can't be called crimes of passion. I miss the days where they both just casually admitted to taking part in a torture dungeon.

Personally I love the idea of unavoidable demonic corruption. Like the "tragic lovers suffering from fate" trope but where the demon isn't just an innocent victim that can't control it at all and MC doesn't just take it happily without consequences.

I'm not against MC suffering the consequences of a demon boyfriend, far from it, but even if you don't go the direct route there's so many ways to do it.

Even just slowly losing your morals because all the demons (and old-ass human with some most likely odd moral quirks, if only from being alive so long in horrible times) around you treat horrible things as something as mundane as breathing. Even if they snap back at least acknowledging it is a huge step up.

I'd be terrified and paranoid 24/7 knowing everyone around me wants to literally eat me and has eaten humans before. Even if they hated the taste or something knowing they're capable of it is scary af.

Like a Beelzebub who truly doesn't mean to hurt MC but doesn't think twice about breaking their beloved pet's bones right in front of them. A Beelzebub that finds it just as hard to avoid eating humans as he did in the intro even when he knows he shouldn't harm MC's family.

Or even just a Beelzebub so wracked by guilt and light on morals that can't bring himself to not always enthusiastically take Belphie's side even when he knows it's hurting MC. A kind of parasitic relationship where Beel guilts MC into staying and helps Belphie trap & manipulate them in ways Belphie could never do by himself.

A Leviathan that finds it increasingly hard to keep his jealously inwards now that he has someone to fight for and can't feel secure unless he can feel their envy. A Belphegor that slowly manipulates MC into abandoning all of their responsibilities and friends until their life is ruined and they have to depend on him.

I get that some of them are a bit harder to do without reminding people of irl abuse they may have faced, namely Satan, Levi, Lucifer, and ofc Asmo, but there are ways to make it more supernatural and less mundane. Besides there are way, way worse otomes out there that don't even market themselves as dark like Obey Me did.

I find it interesting that so much of the fanbase absolutely hates those kind of themes when they're so hard to avoid in otome and it was kind marketed towards people who like it. Like I genuinely wonder how they heard about it and got through demons insulting & trying to kill them in the early days of Obey Me before you knew they got better.

In the end though none of that can really happen without routes imo. Those kind of storylines can't be done well in the 10 seconds of individual interaction we get, even a whole lesson is too little time. And again even people who like darker things might freak out when Asmo's the one doing it or get turned off by Levi so they won't risk their money. It's so frustrating seeing the lost potential and knowing it's probably never gonna happen.

Speaking of I always thought Mammon was pretty robbed too. Not only did he never have the same freedom to harm MC as the others, but he was also directly responsible for their safety. Like sure they'd all be punished, but you have a different mindset when an authority figure constantly makes you aware and you have more chances to bond.

I think even cannon Mammon would've been more dangerous and a lot more rude if he wasn't their babysitter. The others, except Satan & Belphie ofc, probably would've been "nicer" and more controlled knowing Lucifer was breathing down their neck too imo.

Like he does seem less violent and hot-headed than the others, but they're not the same circumstances. Even a while after the pact he'd probably sell MC in an instant if he knew he wasn't going to be severely punished.

A lot of his possessiveness feels like a dog guarding a bone rather than true jealously imo, even when they're doing it as endearing thing. People automatically assuming he was lying when he said he'd rather MC die than be saved by someone else, but was he really at that point? Just because someone is tsundere at times doesn't mean they're incapable of being honest or not that into someone.

That's also kinda what I meant by infatuation too. Like sure they could like a human, but that doesn't mean they'll be that upset when they die or will never get bored. It's kind of like those people that immediately get a new pet after theirs dies, or even before so they don't have to be without a dog for a single second. Or the kind of demon that wants to "ruin" you with their sin until you can't go on as the ultimate act of love, even though they know it'll kill you.

#asks #personal

[petitelepus]

Hi! May I get a dead by daylight match-up for a killer please?

(You matched me with a survivor before and let me just say your writing.....is immaculate! Also I saw your post about not wanting to write dbd match-ups due to using other peoples art and stuff. You don't have to give me a picture or anything but if you still don't want to do it then I completely understand! Also I do match-ups as well so if you'd like one I'd be happy to write you one! :D) Anyways tysm in advance and I hope you have a good day/night!

So I'm straight (might be bi) but for now I'm gonna go with straight. I use she/her pronouns, my top 3 zodiacs are Leo sun, Aries moon, and Leo rising. And I'm a ENTP.

So I'm kinda short I'm 5'4, super skinny and petite, I don't weigh a lot and I get made fun of a lot for it, and I have pale skin and freckles all over my face and body. I have brown thick hair that goes down to my mid back and brown eyes! I'm not very curvy I have the body of a cereal box but hey I have some nice hips and thighs I guess?

When people first see me I look intimidating due to my resting bitch face but if you talk to me I'm pretty nice and warm! Once you get to know me better I can be very sarcastic well no actaully about 99% of everything that comes out of my mouth is sarcastic but hey I just love some good sarcasm! And I can be very reckless and goofy!

I'm also very feisty and if someone even looks at me wrong then it's on....like I will not hesitate to put you in your place. I can be very stubborn and competitive as well. I also live by the saying "Fake it till you make it". Because thats literally what I do lol.

The other side of me is basically really bitchy and cold I kinda have trouble with feeling empathy torwards people sometimes and I tend to shut people out and isolate myself. I hate talking about my feelings and I cover those up too and I act fine but usually I'm not. Also anxiety sucks......and I have that really bad. I also push myself really hard with certain things to the point where it's just unhealthy and I can't stop myself usually other people have to step in and make me take a break for a while when that happens.

I love dry and dark humor that cracks me up a lot. And dad jokes too....I make a lot of those!

I loves 90's and 80's rock but 90's is the best and grunge music is just immaculate ✋😩. But I love anything under the rock genre basically. (Honestly I wish I lived in the 90's)

I also have a grunge style like I love flannels, band t-shirts, combat boots etc.

I hate spiders I have a phobia of them and will literally die if I see one. And I love horror movies!

WAIT, REALLY? I don't remember, I tried to look it up but I'm blind...! @c@

Y- You would really match me? ALRIGHT, I WILL MAKE EXCEPTION and Match you because you sound like such a sweetie. Remember others, that my Matchups are currently NOT OPEN.

I match you with Ji-Woon Hak aka Trickster!

Ji-Woon couldn't be any more drawn to you than he is already. You're a feisty and not to mention extremely cute little thing and he enjoys watching you, but he wanted you to know that he had his sharp eyes on you.

So when you're running away, he throws a knife at you and it hits the tree bark right before your face, forcing you to make a quick stop. There is a piece of paper wrapped in the knife's handle. You take the paper and quickly read it.

'Meet me at the Fog if you wanna have a good time'

What the Hell did that mean? You considered leaving the message be, but the invite proves to be interesting so after the trial, you wander away from the safe fireplace and into the cool Fog.

You don't know where you are supposed to go until you hear singing. It's not Huntress, but a man, and the voice comes closer until you see the Trickster himself.

"My darling, you really came?" He sounds extremely pleased, like a cat who got its paws into the cream.

"You promised a good time. What the fuck was I suppose to do?" You said and the Killer chuckled. "I knew there was a reason I wanted to see you more... Regularly."

"Meaning?"

"Haven't you dated anyone before?" Ji-Woon asked before grinning, "So innocent."

"Fuck you."

"I love you too."

The singer absolutely LOVES how sarcastic you can be. He could live purely by listening to you slay people, both Survivors and Killers with your razor-sharp tongue and quick witty mind. That's just one of many ENTP traits you have.

Also, your grunge style? Cute. You try to be fierce and powerful and he can respect that, but otherwise, he won't take it so seriously... Until the day you are actually wearing HIS band shirt and he is all smiles as he calls you good looking with a good style.

He can tell when your anxiety is taking over your head and he is that selfish that he thinks his singing would make you feel better. It does, but not as much as The Legion's music does. Good thing that Ji-Woon is on good terms with the young killers.

They will borrow their records to the Korean and he gives them for you to listen to. You cheer up in the manner of 6 songs and you're thankful that Ji-Woon went through the trouble getting you music that you like.

Though, you need to kiss him for not liking his songs as much. His songs are his life and he thrives when you listen to him sing.

Ji-Woon can handle it when you are acting bitchy and such and he doesn't mind it if you don't talk about your feelings. He is a little drama queen himself so he won't hold it in if he is feeling bad.

He understands that you don't really empathize with him and doesn't blame you for it. Also, he is ready to come between you and make you rest and while you may curse at him for it, he doesn't let it stop him from tucking you down so you can rest. He knew what he got into when he threw that knife with a note at you.

BIG YES TO DARK JOKES. He loves them and isn't afraid to 'throw' some at you also! Get it? Throw? I crack myself up.

He also finds your fear of spiders hilarious, but bring him a cockroach and he screams like a girl. This man does not like bugs that need to be burned before they will finally die.

Horror movies? Sure, why not but be warned, this man lives for gory movies where people scream. Reminds him of the home back in Korea before the Fog and Entity. But it also reminds him that without those two, he wouldn't have met you. His spicy little grunge girl.

#matchup #dbd #ji-woon hak #dead by daylight #the trickster #trickster #insane-horror-movie-addict #MATCHUPS ARE CLOSED

[hippityhoppityyourenowmyproperty]

Just gonna come out and say it: Rachel Pidgley is a pretty unsympathetic character when you take a closer look at her and the fact that the fandom at large is ignoring her creepy and obsessive behavior is kind of alarming. Most people see her protectiveness and devotion to Hyde as cute, but I beg to differ. She's entitled and a bit, well, delusional.

She displays time and time again an inability to face the truth when it comes to accepting the fact that Hyde isn't an innocent, helpless kitten and has in fact done some very shitty things that put a lot of people in harm's way.

She should know that the dude she's defending has set a street on fire which resulted in the lodgers almost being thrown in prison and a lot of people ending up injured or homeless, yet when confronted with the fact that the image she created of him doesn't really fit realitiy and is quite chamerical, she pulls this shit.

This is a full grown adult she's talking about. I don't know where she got the idea from that he "has never had to take care of anything in his entire life" other than from her own delusions. We as the readers know that Hyde never truly had to take responsibility for himself or face the consequences for his actions, but there's no possible way that Rachel would know that.

From her point of view, Hyde is some random guy who she met two years ago and who shows up in the night to make a bit of small talk and then goes off into the night to cause trouble. Basically, she knows nothing about him other than that he's a bit dorky. Taking that perspective, she should assume that Hyde is absolutely capable of getting out of trouble and looking after himself, otherwise he wouldn't be able to visit her every night without letting people whom he pissed off beat him up or catch him. She created that helpless, weak version of him by ignoring all things she really knew about him.

This obviously has to do something with her brothers and having to watch them get taken away from her or losing them to their lives of crime, but that doesn't excuse her behavior or her unwillingness to face just how far from reality she has gone. Hell, she even admits that he isn't as innocent as she claimed, yet she still refuses to stop defending him.

This is Rachel admitting that what she's doing is for herself. "I don't want to lose him." The trouble is, she's willing to let other people suffer through his actions as long as he is safe. She flat out said that she knows that he did/does bad things, but it doesn't matter to her. It doesn't matter to her if he hurts other people as long as he doesn't have to face the consequences for his shitty actions. If you don't want to take my word for it, take Sabrina's.

This is extremely selfish and one-track-minded behavior on her part. She's willing to throw other people under the bus for him even though she knows that he's a jerk who doesn't really care about anyone but himself because she won't face her delusions and because she doesn't want to suffer emotionally.

"Yeah, well, I like him, and I see him as a sort of reconciliation to rid myself of guilt, so please just ignore all the suffering he's caused and probably will continue to cause, 'kay?"

That's really cold hearted and callous when you look at it that way.

Oh, and speaking about throwing your friends under the bus for someone you barely know,

Rachel really doesn't run short on examples there, either.

I really don't know how this collectively flew over the head of the fandom, but this is really fucked up.

It's fucked up that I have to point out how fucked up this is. This is a physical threat of violence. This is her showing that she would murder both Robert and Henry if it meant helping Hyde. This shows just how obsessive and ruthless she is, and the fact that the fandom reacted to this with: "Haha look at her, so devoted to Hyde, lol Henry yeah you better tell her" is really concerning.

I mean, c'mon guys. She literally held a knife to the throat of her friends. This isn't cute or adorable. She's incredibly entitled, posessive and creepy. To threaten someone with deadly physical force like that, to overpower and to frighten like this is really obviously not right. You know what this says?

"Tell me right now/do what I want you to do right now or I'm going to kill you."

You want to read some of the comments that were left on these exact pages?

(Chapter 6, Page 29. Yes, It's really the one where Rachel pulls the knife on Lanyon. Rachel threatens to kill Lanyon, yet he is the one who is being described as villain-like and not trustworthy.)

(Chapter 7, Page 6. Ah yes, confronting someone about their enabling attitude and their obvious reality dissonance is definetly way more contemptible and morally wrong than brandishing a fucking knife on two people you consider your friends.)

How come Rachel gets a pass even though she went nuts and behaved this shitty, but Lanyon is somehow seen as worse by the fandom? How come people are willing to interpret and theorize the fuck out of his words and behavior, yet when Rachel does something very, very obviously fucked up that could cause some serious harm, it's seen as cute and acceptable?

Also, on another note,

If a person I spoke to every day for like five minutes of small talk whom I had no other connections with told me they asked criminals to stalk me because that person didn't see me for two days and because I seemed a bit dorky they assumed I wasn't able to survive on my own despite the fact that I was a full grown adult, and despite the fact that the person knew I was perfectly able to live my life without their help for over two years without difficulties, I'd call the fucking cops on them. That's something an obsessive stalker does, not a friend I trust.

#rachel pidgley #tgs #the glass scientists #henry jekyll #robert lanyon #edward hyde #you can still like her just please be aware who this character really is #long meta #meta rant #the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde #dr jekyll and mr hyde #jekyll and hyde #the glass scientists jekyll

[redphienix]

The thing about being a shallow asshole from time to time is that I want compliments and validations for the dumb shit I say, post, am, or think.

I mean even this, this isn't a ground-breaking thought, why the hell did I start it with "the thing about" like I'm enlightening someone, I'm just being a vain bitch because I'm not in a great mood.

This ain't some unique perspective, everyone likes those things, I'm just being "actually I'm special and need kind words uwu" about things, for a plethora of reasons really.

At least there's that. I don't feel the worst for feeling like some needy asshat since there are discernable reasons, some of which I can address and have been, the rest kind of, you know, pandemic and life stresses related.

Only part of the problem is me being utterly selfish or attaching importance to something I shouldn't due to getting used to receiving such attention in previous life-stages or situations I went through.

A great deal of the problem that makes me miss the attention (I'll call it that) is the perceived ease of life I had when I was gettin' it in the past.

(things are fine! this ain't a call for help. A vent if anything with a slight dash of self beratin' and centering myself against the unnecessary shit.)

But yeah, I was in a good headspace, relatively speaking, when I was running multiple blogs, talking and making friends, and getting kind remarks from anons- both times I ended up in that scenario even!

A hell of a lot less stressful than what life is through a pandemic and enduring being unemployed for my own safety which feels selfish and risky because money is a thing and all that jazz.

So a good part of why I crave such small kindnesses is my associating the quality of life from back then with those compliments and anons and me thinking "What if... get now? Things better?" like some caveman running a blog.

I'm just lonely and not from relevant means, like in my head lonely. My gf and I are going through stressful shit, her especially, so there's not much time to chat in our already long distance relationship so I'm moping at my worst and pushing through at my best.

Anyways, gonna avoid mentioning such a thing for quite a while after venting it out like this.

Mostly because I don't want people enduring my sad sap BS, especially THIS kind of sad sap bs which is low level- I'm fine as can be, I've felt worse.

I'm loved, supported, all that jazz, just letting stress peck away at my self worth and demand reinforcement from others when THEY are bareing their own stresses- often much more than my own! So I'm feeling vain wishing for the light kindness I once had from strangers as some sort of band-aid to that self worth which really needs better addressed by ME, not others.

Dumb thing to feel lol.

Not to give the wrong impression that it'd be because she'd have more time to talk, but I'll probably feel a hell of a lot better once my gf's stresses lighten up because I worry about her more than anything :( Those worries go- my mind can relax- I'll probably stop pecking away at my self worth, lol.

#shit red doesn't want read

[johnnyscancerstick]

Chap. 9

Warnings: feels, death, cursing.

Characters: Dallas Winston, Johnny Cade, Ponyboy Curtis, and a few random doctors and policemen.

Notes: @watermelon-chapstick , this is what I was talking about. I should let y'all know it takes a lot to make me cry. Teared up while writing this, and I think that means it's good enough to post. Lol, I'm well aware this was meant to be a shitpost, but I don't care. I wanted to write something feelsy and you damn know well I did and tried my best. I might make more of these in the future if people like this. Or, if people want more. I decided to post it on my own, not just a repost. I still put a lot of time into it, and I wanted it on my blog on it's own! This extra note is the only thing that's different — I didn't change anything else.

Word count: 1903

As quickly as it had started, it was over. Had this really happened? Or is it some fucking fever dream because of all the painkillers those hospital people had given me? No, it couldn't be. Dreams can't simulate this kind of stuff, we just beat the Socs!

‘I can't beleive they were gonna do this without me,’ that's not the only reason I wanted to do this, that's not the only reason I threatened to stab a bitch. Multiple. It was the only one I wanted to beleive but I know it's not.

I look down at Ponyboy, who was bleeding like hell and the rest of him looked even worse. He couldn't have been used to fighting solo, clearly. I shook my head, not going to ignore the situation any longer. I could miss my chance if I did that. I bent down and grabbed his collar, turning and yanking him up a bit after I started on a dead run. “Come on!” I couldn't hear myself. “We're goin' to see Johnny.”

Pony wasn't in any shape to be running but I could just remember Johnny's voice. He wanted to see everyone, but I knew there wasn't time. Ponyboy, if he could choose anyone to see it'd be him, wouldn't it? They were such good friends, and he's the one that will cooperate the most. Goddamnit, move faster! “Hurry! He was gettin' worse when I left.” don't think about that. “He wants to see you.”

I'd taken Buck's T-bird here and I didn't plan to go any slower than 110 to get back to the hospital. I got into the driver's seat and rhe second Pony was halfway in he car, I got into gear and slammed on the gas. I almost hydroplaned it across a curve and then I heard the sirins. Great, out of all the times. Think of something, Winston, think of something.

I don't even turn to the boy in the passenger's seat, but I find myself slowing down the car. “Look sick.” I say stiffly, furrowing my brows and narrowing my eyes. This could work, I don't have time for a police chase right now. “I'll say I'm taking you to the hospital, which'll be truth enough.”

The policeman said something like ‘Where's the fire.’ I wasn't paying attention. I glanced at him, I cant express how mad I was that he was slowing us down. Johnny only has so long!

“The kid.” I stayed cool, or at least I think I did, pointing at Pony. “He fell over on his motorcycle and I'm takin' him to he hospital.” Pony groaned a little, and I can't tell why.

The guy by the window looked nervous and glory, this was taking too long. “Is he real bad? Do you need an escort?” Oh, hell yeah, this could work. “How would I know if he's bar or not? I ain't no doc.” I fight a smile at how good this worked out. “Yeah, we could use an escort.”

The fuzz are really stupid, these days! “Sucker!” I hiss, he went back to his car. Now we didn't have to worry about traffic, or other cops. I don't know what I was mumbling about that entire ride there, I know I was talking about Johnny.

Once we were at the hospital I slammed the door shut and ‘helped’ Pony out of the car, but the second that police officer left, we were gone down that hallway. I heard yelling but I didn't even acknowlage them, I couldn't think of anything but Johnny, to the point where I let Pony's wrist go and I know he fell far behind. I didn't have time for an elevator, I raced up the stairs and almost clipped a wall a few times.

It felt like an eternity but I finally got to Johnny's room and I was going to break down the door if it wouldn't open. “I'm sorry, boys, but he's dying.” just those words sent horrible aches in my heart and I felt my chest tighten.

No, no, no. This isn't happening, he's not dying, he's not! Johnny can't die, he can't, this can't be happening. I take out Two's switch, whipping my head toward the doctor and jabbing it in his face. I didn't flick it open until I opened my mouth and started talking. “We gotta see him.” I said, my tone scared me even more than I already was, I hadn't heard myself like ths in a long time. I cleared my throat, furrowing my brows. I tried to be intimidating, I'd never had trouble with this before but now I was all trembly and it was visible, I could barely keep my hand still. “We're gonna see him and if you give me any static, you'll end up on your own operatin' table.” I sneer, I tried my best to keep my voice down.

This dude didn't even bat an eye, the little... Oh how I wanted to tell him off, I wanted to tell him just how much I needed to get into that room.

But he took me by surprise. “You can see him, but it's because you're his friends, not because of that knife.” I wasn't going to press, he was letting me in and for once I didn't want to fight. I put the switch back in my pocket and pushed the door open, I ran only for a few seconds before I swore something stopped me. I stumbled forward and made sure I didn't fall, and I could see Pony walk into the room out of the corner of my eye.

Johnny was white and looked still, I couldn't tell if he was breathing or not and I felt tears well up in my eyes. I gritted my teeth and shut them tight, it's not the end! Johnny isn't dead, he's not! He's just.. He's just asleep, he'll wake up any minute now. I took a few steps forward and wiped the sweat off my lips, “Johnnycake..?” my voice was low and hoarse, and I couldn't see even though it opened my eyes. I could barely hear anything else, everything else was shut off and didn't exist at that moment. Nothing was real, this wasn't what was going on. This really can't be happening.

Johnny didn't respond and I had to say something else. I had to prompt him again, this isn't how this ends. “Johnny...” I felt the hope drain from my whole body, but that little bit came up again when he moved. “hey..” his voice, god, that tore through my soul harder than anything else had.

I walked toward him after glancing at the Christopher around my neck, “We won.” I was out of breath and it was hard to get it back, I couldn't comprehend this and I just wanted to get him to say something. “We beat the Socs. We stomped them—chased them outa our territory.” I said, I was desperate at this point. Johnny's eyes were barely open and I couldn't tell if he could see the tears welling. I bit my lip as he just gave an unsatisfied hum, “Useless...” he croaked, “Fighting's no good...” he was so white, and I felt panic rising within me again.

No, he's dying and this isn't going to be the last thing I say to him! I gotta tell him something, something that'll make him smile, I've been keeping so much in about him all this time, how hard would it be to tell him now? When I literally have no other chance..!

I licked my lips and tried to find my voice through all the emotion, “They're still writing editorials about you in the paper. For being a hero and all.” I tried to keep my voice calm, I didn't let it break, I didn't want to cry in front of him. That would make this even worse, that would make him feel awful, that would just be the worst thing I could do right now. “Yeah..” he hadn't responded yet but for the sake of my sanity I had to act as if he did, “They're calling you a hero now and heroizin' all the greasers.”

I couldn't say it, I just couldn't, it was too hard, I tried so hard but I couldn't.. Hopefully he'll get he message. “We're all proud of you, buddy...” I managed a smile, I felt hot tears run down my face. I tries to wipe them off, but they'd just look like dweat and I wasn't going to take my eyes off Johnnycakes.

He looked so happy, his eyes lit up. I let out a half sob and kept my composure, I took a deep breath and was about to day something else, but he spoke. “Ponyboy.”

I backed up. I wasn't going to take it away, I'd forgotten Pony was there. I'd forgotten anyone was there. Johnny wanted to talk to Pony, he'd already talked to me, danmit I'm so selfish.

I don't know what he said but as I stepped closer, he just...

I broke into a grin and felt more tears fall down my cheeks. I was trembling, I could barely keep myself up, I felt like the world spun around me and for some reason, I wanted to laugh.

I reached a shaky hand over and brushed his bangs off his forehead, “Never could keep that hair back.” I could hear I was under pronouncing any soft sounds and I saw everything blur around me. “That's what you get for tryin' to help people, you little punk...” reality was setting in and I found it hard to breathe. Johnny wasn't... He.... He was.. He's not.. No. He's fine, Johnny is fine, nothing happened, nothing's wrong. I took a quivering breath, the smile faltering. I tried and I tried to keep it up, I know this wasn't what was going on, I know he's... But no, no I won't believe this. This is NOT what's happening, it's not it's.. It's not... It can't be... Johnny can't be dead, oh he really can't be... “There what you get..” I couldn't get the words out, I whipped toward the wall and punched it as hard as I could.

“Damnit Johnny..” I didn't have the energy, I couldn't have screamed if I wanted to. I ground my fist and hit the wall again, grinding my teeth and trying to do anything but think of him.

Don't think of how he used to be

Don't think of what happened

Don't think of what happened to him behind closed doors

Don't think of what he did for those kids

Don't think of him not wanting to die

Don't think of him only being sixteen

Don't think of him never leaving Tulsa

Don't think of him...

“Oh, damnit, Johnny...”

Don't think of those mocha eyes and how they lit up whenever I smiled at him.

“Don't die..”

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he was-

Don't think of how brave, persistent, and strong he is

“Please,”

Don't think of how he would have turned out.

Don't think of how good of a person he would have ended up being.

Don't think of all the things I could have told him

Don't think of all the things thst would have made him happy, thst would have made him smile.

“Don't die...”

#dallas winston #johnny cade #ponyboy curtis #outsiders #jally #nooooooo #nooo #... #no. #i mean #i might make more #i'm not crying you're crying

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Where'd you go? You can come back now if you want Buster: Dad's gone Rio: How'd it go? Buster: Better than I reckoned it would Buster: I'm still standing Rio: One of you is losing your touch Rio: but good Buster: He's going soft, obviously Buster: Missed my chance Rio: Unlucky Rio: Comes in threes, yeah? So you've only gotta field off one more Buster: It's the worst one though. I've gotta tell my sister eventually Rio: Yeah Rio: Seriously, good fucking luck Rio: How are you even? Buster: Cheers, babe Buster: Right now I ain't even Buster: Mum reckons I should wait for the DNA Rio: I guess that makes sense Rio: Don't wanna lol jks on it Buster: Exactly Buster: And we both reckon Chlo will behave enough not to tell her before I do so Rio: Yeah? I hope so Buster: Me too Rio: Do you feel a bit better, like Rio: now they know Buster: Yeah Buster: They have that effect Buster: Neither of them are gonna take any bullshit from me or her Rio: Good, you're in safe hands Buster: For real, get yourself a mum who thinks she can do anything Rio: I do Rio: God bless 'em Buster: She was gonna fight me for shouting at you Buster: That's another story, like Rio: Ha, what? Rio: Well, I'd like to see that if she's still offering Buster: Shut up and eat your fruit she's about to deliver in thanks Rio: Ooh, that'll be 🔥 Rio: It's one thing posh people do well, the gift baskets Buster: I'll take your word for it 'cause I ain't getting one Rio: Wait for the babyshower, like Rio: Sorry Buster: Or you could just share with me while I fend for myself here in my hotel suite Rio: You really wanted some room service huh Buster: 'Course Buster: Who can sleep without a mint on their pillow, like? Rio: Idiot Buster: No argument here Rio: That's why you're staying in School, babe Buster: Nah, they need me, I don't need them Buster: I make them look good with my results, babe Rio: Hmm Rio: Take your word on that one Buster: You don't believe me? Rude Buster: I'm such a good student and you know it Rio: Don't make me laugh rn Buster: Actually offended. Don't let the extended absence fool you like, I really love school Buster: Also, I've gotta. You look so cute when you laugh so Rio: Duh, I know you're a 🤓 Rio: Don't need to tell me Rio: Or say that Buster: I know you love a reminder though Rio: 'Course Rio: How long are you staying? Buster: I don't know Buster: How long do you want me to? Rio: Just answer, Buster Buster: I just did Buster: I can't tell you what I don't know Rio: Ugh Rio: Fine Buster: I thought you'd be happy that I'm here Buster: What's wrong? Rio: What's wrong? Really? Buster: Rio, what the fuck? How does it make any difference to what's happening whether I'm there or here Rio: It doesn't Buster: Then why are you getting mad at me for staying? Rio: I'm not Rio: You do what you want Rio: but happy about it would be a stretch Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Do what you've got to do Buster: I literally am, why are you being a bitch about it Rio: Fuck you Rio: I still get time to deal with this myself, and for myself Rio: just because I care about you and making sure you were okay Buster: Fuck you Buster: I've had a shit day, why can't I be happy that we're still in the same fucking country for once instead of just feeling bad about everything Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: Okay this might be happening to you but it isn't all about you Buster: Tell me something I don't fucking know, alright Buster: I've spent the whole day telling everyone else about this Rio: Yeah, me included Buster: And what you're all talked out now are you? Poor you Rio: Seriously, fuck off Buster: Fine Rio: I'm going to go away so you can have Dublin to yourself Buster: Fuck that Buster: I don't want it Buster: Just talk to me Rio: About what Rio: What is there to say Buster: How you feel, what you wanna do, what happens next Buster: any of it Buster: Don't just fucking leave Rio: I feel fantastic, about as good as you no doubt Rio: What happens next is you're going to be a father Rio: so whatever I wanted to do is irrelevant Buster: Stop Buster: No it isn't Buster: Nothing that you want or don't want is irrelevant Buster: I fucking love you Rio: Yeah, it is Rio: it's hard enough doing this now, you said so yourself right Rio: how do you think it'll work when you've got a kid Buster: 'Cause I'll make it work Buster: It's always been hard and we always did it anyway, we still can Rio: If you think this is hard then you have no idea Rio: you're going to have uni and a kid and a social life and somehow find the time to come see me? Rio: I don't think so Buster: Well, I'll prove it then Buster: Wait and see Rio: You'd be better if you moved on Rio: Save yourself the hassle Buster: Don't Rio: I'm serious Buster: So am I Buster: That's such bullshit Rio: You feel that now but once you leave for uni and now this Rio: you're gonna feel different Rio: I know Buster: Don't tell me how I'm gonna feel Buster: You don't know that, you can't Rio: I can guess Rio: You'll meet someone else Buster: Fuck off Buster: I don't wanna meet someone else Buster: Who the fuck are they gonna be? Buster: I want you Rio: I don't know Rio: Someone more like you, smart and whatever Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: I'm punching above my weight with you already Rio: So you reckon you can't do any better, yeah? Buster: No I can't, babe Buster: You're perfect, you know Buster: Don't let a shit day make you doubt it Rio: Do you actually mean that or is it something you just say Buster: Of course I mean it Buster: Do you need a list or what? Rio: No, shut up, make me sound conceited Buster: Do you really think I'd still be here, fighting this hard to get you to stay and every fucking thing else, to just chat shit? Rio: I guess not Rio: I just, I don't know Rio: it's a lot Buster: I know Buster: But it's always been a lot, yeah? Buster: I'm not my sister it wouldn't have got this far if I didn't reckon it was worth it Buster: You are Rio: Yeah Rio: I just can't help but keep thinking Rio: how fucking stupid we'd look if we went to the trouble of outing ourselves Rio: and then just got over it Rio: it's so much upheaval and Buster: We don't have to tell anyone Buster: I'd rather have it this way than not at all Rio: But we're already sick of it Rio: I don't know what to do, this is why Buster: I can't answer that for you, babe. I wish I could Buster: You've gotta do what you've gotta do too Buster: You either wanna keep trying or you don't Rio: Of course I do but there's so much more to consider than what I want Buster: Right now, it's all that matters to me though Rio: Buster Buster: Yeah? Rio: I love you, you know that Buster: I love you too Buster: It can be enough, can't it? Rio: I want it to be Buster: Me too Buster: Not only 'cause I don't have anything else to give you Buster: I want you to be happy, you know Buster: If you can't be with me then you have to move on Rio: Big ask, babe Buster: Yeah well, it's been that kind of day Buster: This isn't gonna work if you're waiting for it to end. I know that's my fault, 'cause I fucked it up before and I can't promise I won't ever again but Rio: Yeah, 'cos my life is so perfect, please Buster: Last I checked you didn't impregnate an actual psycho though Rio: That would be impressive though Buster: Don't make me laugh Buster: I'm trying to be serious and heroic Rio: Aren't you always Buster: You wish Rio: 'Course Buster: Solve all your problems, like Rio: Ha, feel free Rio: Can't offer the same in return but you know Buster: Like you said, big ask Rio: Bit rude Rio: don't point out all my problems like that Buster: I ain't gotta call myself out like that Buster: I know I'm your biggest drama, babe Rio: You reckon? Rio: Not gonna hurt your masculinity by suggesting otherwise Buster: You can't kick me while I'm down Rio: Okay just so we know, that ain't actually flying as an excuse Buster: Come on Buster: Be nice to me Rio: I'm always nice to you Buster: But you could be nicer Buster: Stay with me while I'm here Rio: Babe Rio: I don't know if I can Buster: Why? Rio: Because it's nearly my birthday everyone's going to be all up in my business Buster: Indie'll cover for you Buster: As far as everyone needs to know you're just at the flat chilling or whatever Buster: You're at work too much for them to question that Rio: Why are you so convincing? Buster: 'Cause I'm so selfish Rio: I don't know, maybe I don't need much persuading Buster: I don't mind if you do Buster: I'm tired but I'm not that tired Rio: Surprised you've got any trust left in you though Rio: or you got the trojans like Buster: Not funny Rio: Nah Rio: but honestly Buster: If this is your way of telling me that I'm not a DILF then like Rio: Awkward Buster: Dump me now honestly 'cause that's the biggest lie you've ever told if that's what you're saying Buster: I haven't even had a single sleepless night yet, I look great, cheers Rio: If you're that worried about your beauty sleep I won't come over then Buster: Please Buster: You know you will Rio: You better hope Buster: No need, only gotta wait Buster: Are you at work or what? Rio: No Rio: Just avoiding you Buster: Come over then Rio: Going by keep your enemies closer, are we? Buster: Shut up Rio: I know you wanna make me Buster: I really don't Buster: I want the opposite Rio: Yeah? Buster: I'm not gonna waste a hotel room by being quiet in it and neither are you Rio: Would be a shame Buster: Not to mention all the time we could be spending together too Rio: I just want to forget about all this for a while Buster: I can help you Buster: Just let me Rio: Promise Buster: I swear Buster: I'll make you feel better, just me and you and none of this will even exist for as long as we want Rio: We can do that, yeah Rio: Just one more time Buster: 'Course Buster: It's what I'm good at babe Rio: Can't disagree Buster: You know I need you too Rio: Tell me again Buster: I need you Buster: Right now Rio: Okay, I'll come over Buster: [sends his fancy ass hotel deets] Rio: Of course you are Rio: no premier inns here Buster: Even purgatory doesn't come cheap the way I do it Buster: Down but not out, babe Rio: 🙄 So inspiring Buster: I'm just trying to survive my exile Buster: It's all in the thread count Rio: Sure that's how Napoleon did it, like Buster: I don't have to do anything the way that tiny cunt did it regardless Rio: 😂 Rio: Why are you dissing him Buster: Didn't realise he was a fantasy of yours like Buster: Trying to feel tall, babe? Buster: Still not as small as you I don't reckon Rio: He wrote a good love letter but you know Rio: Only got eyes for Josephine Rio: Gutted 😕 Buster: And I'm the nerdy one, yeah alright Rio: Shut up, had to make history interesting somehow Buster: Better than fantasizing about the teachers, I'll give you that Rio: Oh god no Rio: You'd get it if you saw our history teach, no thank you Buster: Whatever gets you off, babe I'm not judging Rio: You're dumb, he never got that raunchy Rio: Mozart was a freak though 👀 Buster: I see why you bought me that fancy pen now Buster: Which is it, love note or symphony? Rio: 'Course Rio: expect 'em both about the time I get my 💍 yeah Buster: Obviously Buster: Tell me about Mozart then Rio: Boy you don't even wanna know 😂 Rio: 🍑💩 Buster: 😂 Rio: Got us all feeling vanilla Buster: Got me thinking that you're an absolute 🤓 Rio: You love it Buster: Oh do I? Rio: Yeah Rio: Wanting me to talk nerdy to you Rio: I see you Buster: I'm just trying to get an education, make up for the one I'm about to miss Buster: Don't get it twisted Rio: Yeah Rio: Using me for my brains Rio: so believable babe Buster: 'Course Buster: Everyone knows you're a huge swot, like Rio: They'll know you out ya damn mind I know that 😏 Buster: It's how you've got me Buster: I'm not mad about it Rio: Better work on your lines if you're writing me that letter Buster: Don't be rushing me Buster: How long did he spend on his? Rio: Oh he wrote her all the time, and would get mad when she didn't write back often or fast enough Buster: Bullshit Buster: You're making that up Rio: “I have your letters of the 16th and the 21st. There are many days when you don’t write. What do you do, then?” Rio: Direct quote Rio: along with calling her a slut, shit you not, boy was mad Buster: 😒 you wouldn't think it was romantic if I hit you with a double text before you had chance to reply Rio: When my names your last word even though you remarried, then we'll talk Buster: Who else am I putting a 💍 on? Stop playing Buster: His game is weak compared to me Rio: Maybe you'll be feeling the need when I cba to write back Buster: Shut up Buster: You couldn't ignore me if you tried Rio: Sure I could if you were pissing about all over Europe Buster: Been there, done that, babe Rio: 😂 You really gon' compare yourself to Napoleon? Buster: Fuck no Buster: But like, I have traveled extensively, deal with it Buster: Turning heads everywhere I go Rio: Bitch, me too Rio: Not gonna make me jealous on either account Buster: First time for it Rio: 😒 Buster: Don't make that face Rio: Why not Buster: 'Cause I like that you are and how bad you want me Rio: Of course you do Buster: I feel it too, you know Rio: Yeah? Buster: It drives me crazy like Rio: Not giving you much to be jealous about these days Rio: Tragic, honestly Buster: You don't have to do anything Buster: You're so hot everyone wants you anyway Rio: Okay, slight overstatement Buster: It's not Buster: Everyone's looking at you when I'm trying not to make it obvious as fuck that I want to Rio: I wouldn't know Rio: Only looking at you, clearly Buster: Well, yeah Rio: That's why this is so shit Buster: One of many reasons Rio: I know you were drunk and everything but Rio: the thought of it still boils my blood Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I literally did push her away earlier in the night, I don't know what happened after Rio: I know Rio: it's not like I even had any right but still Rio: you felt like mine Buster: I am yours Rio: Not all mine now Rio: I have to share with her of all people Buster: We don't know that yet Buster: And you never have to share me with her anyway Rio: you won't get protective and noble over her Rio: that's just for me Buster: I was nearly sick in my mouth at the idea so no Buster: She's never had me like that and she never will Rio: Okay Rio: Good Buster: You're special to me, like it or not and believe it or not Rio: I do believe it and believe me, I do like it Rio: Too much, I don't want someone coming in and taking my place now Buster: I love you. She can't make me stop and neither can anyone else Buster: Nobody's been in your place never mind trying to take it Rio: I love you Buster Rio: Always have, always will 😜 Buster: It's gonna be alright for us, whatever I have to do Buster: I didn't wait years for this for her to ruin it in a night, yeah? Rio: I believe you Rio: Me too Rio: Iwant to be with you Buster: You're all I want Buster: I don't care about America or any of it Rio: Really Buster: I'm still going to uni obviously, but I don't wanna go if it means being further away from you Buster: There are other decent schools that are full of less yanks, like Rio: I'd move there if you wanted but now Rio: Probably not, but you've got plenty decent on your doorstep Buster: Maybe we could still go, we don't know for sure that Chlo's trapped me here Buster: But I don't know, I was thinking about it before this, how far away that is and how much your fam needs you to mother them all Rio: Yeah, I would miss them all Rio: but I'd survive, I can't deal with not being with you any more Buster: But I'm not trying to make you give up things, I'm trying to get us things, you know Rio: I know, if the younger ones were a bit older but Rio: they all still need me right now Buster: Exactly Buster: And I can do what I need to do here Buster: Might actually have to Rio: We'll see Buster: All I know is my mum told me to fight to make sure things I don't want ruined by this bullshit aren't, so that's what I'm gonna do Rio: Solid advice Buster: She was good Buster: Like how I remember from being a kid Buster: Before I turned into this idiot Rio: You'll get it back Rio: Everyone has to have their rebellious 'fuck this family' phase Rio: you'd be weird if you didn't Buster: I have to get it back somehow Buster: Like even Nance knows about how the Chlo thing went down now, that I wasn't like trying to fuck her over or fuck Chlo either so Buster: It's gonna be shit if she has to stick around but we're in the same boat of neither of us wanting her too, right? Rio: Yeah Rio: It'll sting but she knows it wasn't remotely your intention and that it's as shitty for you with added consequences so Buster: I just keep thinking, if someone did that to her, how Chlo played me, it's so fucked Buster: Or if I did that to some girl, you know Rio: It is Rio: I am really fucking sorry it happened to you, you know that Rio: Even if my own petty shit gets in the way sometimes Rio: it was wrong on a lot of levels, like Buster: It wouldn't even matter as much if she recognised that it was but we all know she doesn't and won't Buster: No child should be raised by her, mine or not Rio: Sadly, can't stop her or other cunts breeding Rio: unfortunate Rio: if it is yours, it'll be alright, you'll do right by it, I know Buster: I'm still hoping her parents will step in when they know, not that they can force her to do anything but Rio: Maybe they'll talk sense and she'll listen but yeah Buster: Let's not talk about this anymore Buster: For tonight at least Rio: Fine by me Buster: My final word on it is that I'm sorry for how all this went Buster: My mum has a point, I shouldn't shout at you Buster: I'm not sending you more fruit though Rio: I know you are, I promise I do Rio: Damn, so close Buster: Probably should send my veggie loving sister some crudités or something Buster: I can think of better ways to make it up to you though Rio: Tell me more Rio: not about the raw veg, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Not a kink of yours? Buster: Good to know Rio: I have enjoy sex toys that I don't need to raid the pantry Rio: sacrilege in my household Buster: You're funny Buster: And that is genuinely comforting that I don't have to hit up room service with that kind of request Rio: Oh they've had worse Buster: Sure, from me on previous visits is likely Buster: But I'm 😇 now so Rio: 😒 Rio: without me? Buster: Do you think there's a fancy hotel room in this city I haven't fucked in? Rio: Well don't tell me that Buster: 🤐 Rio: Honestly, why do I gotta get you when you're all reformed 🙄 Buster: 'Cause I only am as far as everyone else is concerned Buster: For you I'd do anything Rio: Interesting Rio: I plan to test that bold claim Buster: I hope you do Buster: Try me as much as you want Rio: I hope you weren't here to rest Buster: 'Course not Buster: I'm here 'cause it's nearly your birthday Rio: Oh yeah Rio: Almost forgot Buster: I'm not gonna let you Rio: Spoil me? Buster: Try and stop me Rio: Nah, it's allowed Rio: Get to be 👸 for one day, like Buster: I don't care if it ain't. It's happening Buster: For all the days I'm here Rio: 'Cos I'm your princess, yeah? Buster: Babe, come on, you're a queen Rio: 😋 You're so cute Buster: You're fucking beautiful Rio: Shh Buster: No Buster: You are Rio: I don't know what to say sometimes you're so Rio: nice Buster: You don't have to say anything, I'm not that competitive, like Rio: I can't say nothing when you got me feeling this good Buster: Just show me how you feel when you get here Rio: Done Buster: Good

[buildingcrumblingwalls]

Mom. Dad. I'm transgender.

This week I decided to use the same subject matter as my mom did with her blog. My coming out story. I'm still debating whether or not to share my experiences of coming out to my wife, those are much more.....personal?? Here's my experiences coming out to my parents. I don't particularly remember the date, but I know my parents do. February 12 2016. I woke up and got ready, same routine as every day off; get up, love on and rough house with my fur babies, feed said babies (let's face it they're so spoiled they cry in front of their bowls and push them around the house as if they're fed once a month), shower, get dressed, go have lunch with the love of my life. Today, though, was a detour for lunch. MC had to work but mom and dad were in town and I'd made plans with them. Let me regress a second, at this point in my marriage MC and I had just celebrated our first anniversary. One we struggled to get to, it was only 6 short months before today that I had come clean to my wife. I could no longer hide or deny the fact that I was transgender. I'd be lying if I said it was an easy thing for her, for me it was and still is simple...transition or die. But for her it was more than just having fallen in love with a woman, her identity would change, who she struggled to come to terms with (when she figured out she was a lesbian) would change in societies eyes. She is still very much a lesbian, what??!! Crazy I know, but just take it at face value: Gender and Sexuality are two COMPLETELY different things. I am still happily married to MC and we are pushing for anniversary #3 after the new year arrives. Fast forward again to February 12....I had been going back and forth all day and night, I think I even managed to sleep a few minutes. As I pulled up to the restaurant I still hadn't decided, do I tell them face to face or do I wait?? Do I ruin their visit? If I decided to tell them will mom start crying? Will I see her heartbreaking?? Will dad leave?? Will he get angry?? What about....?? Or this...??? Fuck this is hard.... I sat down at the table, mom and dad were so happy to see me and I was comforted that they couldn't tell just yet...there's still time! Shit. Mom asked a short time later, "what's wrong with you??" -"Nothing mom, I just didn't sleep well so I'm grumpy" -"are you sure?" -"Yeah mom, I'm alright" ....why do I keep lying?! I. Am. Not. Alright. This is so hard. We ate, I attempted to eat, we went to a park just down the street from where we were and sat and talked. About everything in life really....but I couldn't tell them. They left and had I gone home, I told my wife I couldn't do it. That I had chickened out. Admitting that angered me, but not in a bad way (does that even make sense??)...it angered me because I had every opportunity to tell them, face to face like I had planned. When does anything go as planned though? I text them to see if they had gotten home, with so many thoughts racing through my mind I was determined to tell them today, they were home and relaxing. I decided as face to face as I could handle was a FaceTime call, I knew they'd be skeptical. I never call, texting is so much more convenient. But I was calling this time. They answered, and I dove right in. Everything was a blur as I expected with so many emotions running hot, but I remember saying "there's no easy way to say this so I'm just gonna say it............I'm.......*deep breath* mom, dad...I'm transgender. What that means is I've spent my entire life (ya that long) not feeling at home in my body. Ever. I will be medically transitioning to male soon." I'd already socially come out and was using male pronouns at home and with friends and work. If there ever was an "a-bomb" dropped on a family this was it. I knew what I had just done and there was no going back, not that I had ever wanted to. I did, in fact, see my mothers heart break. I saw my fathers face turn red, his jaw clench, as it had many many times growing up when we screwed up, and yeah...his heart broke too. I wasn't even worried about my brother at this point. I had literally just torn my parents world apart, and it tore me apart. With MC sitting next to me and her hand on my leg she squeezed it, as if letting me know she was with me and to stay strong and finish up my "speech". I told them I was transitioning with or without their support, but I'd hoped they would tell me "we're with you". I never heard those words, but I can't be mad or upset about it, I just told them I was essentially killing their daughter. Instead they said we love you very much, but we need time to process this. We hung up and I lost it. Grieving the loss of self isn't any easier than grieving the loss of your child. Which is my parents reality. How selfish of me?!! I had to be selfish. Transitioning is selfish, but it is also a RADICAL act of self love....something I think human beings struggle with in general. I loved myself enough to free this man I locked away years before I even knew there was an LGBT community; I loved myself enough to tell ET that she had done everything she could to be happy, to fit in the "norm", to be the ideal daughter and sister; I loved myself enough to choose LIFE! February 12, 2016. That day will forever remain one that is beautifully scared. A tattoo if you will of my life; former identity really. It was a terrible yet liberating day; it was relieving but I didn't feel any better. I still struggle to accept the hurt I caused my family. But I will never apologize for loving myself enough to live and not die. Do Mom & Dad and MC & myself have the perfect interaction now? Hell no, but we all understand the struggle. We all know what each other are going through, at least I try to give them an idea, but we all are moving forward TOGETHER. As a family. Is this hard? Absolutely! I wouldn't change a thing though, we will get through this TOGETHER. As a family. Why? Because that is what this family does. We don't give up on each other, we don't abandon one another, we love harder and stronger. I don't think there is ever anything that I can do that will make my parental unit love me any less or differently. I still love squeezing the heck out of dad when I see him, I don't care who thinks otherwise. I still love getting the warmest hugs from mom, and of course squeezing her too! Your child will not change inside. Personalities don't change. Confidence will skyrocket! Physical things change. Material things change, but my being and everything that was a part of developing my character didn't change. I still love watching any and every Disney movie, I still love being a mommas boy at 30 years old. I still love watching the Cowboys and Spurs while my dad is yelling at the tv, but now I yell too lol and it is so funny to me when MC looks at me with her eyes, I could get lost in them for every second of every day, and says "You are just like your father" 😱😱 how dare she?! I am not at all my fathers child 😂😂😂 I am the newborn son, well I just turned "1" again, of cradle catholic parents who I adore and would do anything for. We are taking this day by day and I couldn't ask for anything more.

[imarkson]

nah gurl, I'm listening, tell us about your crush!!

ffhdfjhas okay I’m gonna try and make it lik e not too long but I’m sOOOOoooooooooooooo draggy so I apologize in advance but like!! okay idk if u’ve read the other crush story but his code name is n1 so this is another (lmao issa hoe!) and he is called n2 nyways,, kk so school started 2 weeks ago (its currently the third week of school) and we have Thursday classes tgt so like we’ve had class tgt twice lulz but hes so cuteeee.. we’re currently teammates and on the first day I kept teasing him about his height LOL bc he’s like 1cm taller than me so he isn't all that tall. after our group ended up staying back to do homework together in the classroom and like during break he bought Milo nuggets so whilst doing our work I asked him if he was going to eat his snack and he was like “u can just take the whole thing” n bih I was shook bc idk I wouldn't give someone I just met my entire packet of milo nuggets um I'm a selfish bitch.. anyways ya so bla bla n we talked a lot and then the next week he bought milk tea during break and offered some to me and I was like oh okay thanks and then when we were back in class he was like “just take the whole cup” and when I was like omg no he told me that I shouldn't refuse things that are given to me lmaoooo okay so I took it (n ended up getting freaking sick bc he was recovering from a flu.. I like deadass had a nose that was running like tap water and the worst headache the next day sigh... oh oh and Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol 2 just came out last Thursday and I really wanted to watch it bc I love chris pratt lol and I already asked all of my friends but they were all too busy over the weekends to watch with me so as a last resort I asked my groupmates if they could go and like they said they were busy but n2 said he could go on sunday so I was like omg okay but like eventually we got another guy to come with us for the movie on sunday and it was so fun omgggg the movie is so good wtf.... and um should I make a separate part for sunday its gotten so long.... k wtv but like we bought tickets for a 2.30pm movie and we were there at 1pm so we decided to just window shop so we went into h&m and all that. n theyre both boys right but they were super nice about following me into the shops I wanted to go to lmao it was cute.. so then I went into Lovisa (its a jewellery shop) and the other guy with us didn't want to enter it lololol bc he felt too awkward so he deadass stayed outside the entire time but n2 followed me in and while iwas going “omg so pretty omg so pretty” he was next to me agreeing n pointing out some stuff too dksjdjhfk it was so cute wtf... oh n when Justin Bieber started playing he was like “eh ur favourite singer!! wait is he ur favourite singer?” bc he remembered me saying I love Justin..... and then we went to VS bc I needed to get new perfume n I asked him to smell my fave scent and he was like “oh yeah!! I like this smell!!! the one the promoter sprayed made me dizzy but this one is nice” nd I was like ohh dab bitch!! oh fuck this is legit so long I'm so sorry please delete me I promise I wont talk about it anymore okay.. when we were lining up for popcorn Demi started playing like just the introduction of Confident came on and I started freaking out (bc if yall didn't know,, the one celebrity I love more than got7 is demi Lovato my actual queen) and he was like “oh confident?” I was so impressed he could name the song so quick omg... and during the trailers idk how but we started talking about FB and that somehow led to the fact that we both watched Boys Over Flowers (which is my all time fave drama yall know this) but I didn't think he would rmb much about it but um I was wrong... he named the main characters n we started discussing the scenes n he was so cute going “u know what made me angry!!!! when gu junpyo’s best friend kissed the girl!!! what the hell its ur best friends girl!!!” and just as I was about to bring up my fave scene, he brought it up first dfhjshdj the part where junpyo remembers jandi and went into the pool to save her omgggg I was like fucking smitten that he knew so much about bof... n then during the movie I was the only one who bought popcorn so he had to lean near me to take my popcorn n I was like !!! lol... AND THEN AT THE END OF THE DAY RIGHT,, I texted thank u to both of them for accompanying me and u know what the other guy texted me..... I'm gonna quote word for word “should have have just let u n n2 watch the movie! u guys look so cute tgt! (legit) I don't wanna be thirdwheel with u guys again” jfhdsfdkhsja fuckkk why did he say that idk bc now my hopes are high but I'm pretty sure ive established myself as a brochacho to n2 😭😭😭😭 and that is finally the end if u read the entire wow ily hahahahhahaah thanks for listening to me ramble.... u a true friend.. ( I just checked word count its almost at 1k words omg.. rlly to those that read,, true mvps)

#hey look i've got mail #anon

[joannalannister]

Is there any chance of a happy ending for the Lannisters? I know they are awful people but why develop their motivations and give each of them a genuine moment of compassion if they are just going to murder each other? Every other POV gets a moment of truth/redemption why not the children of Tywin/Patriarchy/Aerys and Disability? I'm a bad person myself so I need to believe the Lions can defy themselves and prophesy and overcome their nature or what's the point? Not all of us are born Starks.

Hey! So it’s gonna take me a few minutes to answer your question, but I promise I’m gonna get there.

In one of the other shows I watch, an actor commented on the banality of evil. He said that evil is something commonplace. Given the right circumstances, great acts of evil could be committed by your neighbors, or your friends, or you, or me. Because evil is so easy. “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” You needn’t be a monster like Gregor to commit evil; you need only be human. 

As that actor said, it’s very dangerous to think “If they do something evil, they’re a monster, because regular people could never do that.” But regular people could do that, and they have, throughout history. But in fiction, we like to other evil. We like to say, “Those are the bad guys, see their uniforms? They’re not us, they’re not on our side.” It becomes very black and white, and it’s one of the reasons for the enduring popularity of a certain type of movie. “We’re attracted to it because of its moral certainties.” For the record, I really like that genre of movie. But we should be asking ourselves why. We as human beings prefer to simplify and distance ourselves from evil, and to ignore or diminish our own atrocities, which we rarely make movies about. It makes us feel better about ourselves to ignore the bad parts of ourselves, and to play the hero. Even Cersei does this; think about Cersei’s revisionist memories of what happened to Melara Hetherspoon.

GRRM doesn’t want his readers to have an easy time distancing themselves from evil. ASOIAF is never, “Here are the Bad Guys in their Clearly Marked uniforms with their Bad Guy flag flying high.”** In fact, GRRM even said that he deliberately wanted the Night’s Watch, the people fighting on the front lines of the Other invasion, to wear black because he wanted to mix up the color symbolism in fantasy. “Before you can fight the war between good and evil, you need to determine which is which, and that’s not always as easy as some Fantasists would have you believe.” 

(Tangent, but an interesting thing about Jaime imo is that he doesn’t always know where he stands in terms of good and evil. Sure, he knows that things like rape are wrong on an individual level, but on an institutional level, he thinks nothing of the institutionalized rape of Sansa Stark or Jeyne Poole, and he legitimately thought Tysha was just a gold digger. He doesn’t think House Lannister as an institution is bad, so he willingly does things like kick the Tullys out of their own home. There’s this narrative going around in fandom that Jaime’s actions during the FeastDance are things he’s done against his will, but Jaime participates willingly, in thought and deed, and he actively wants to keep Tommen on a throne to which the boy has no right. Even in ADWD, Jaime still thinks, like, “Well, massacring a whole family takes care of the problem.” If you’re looking for someone who actively criticizes and rebels against the Lannister regime, both in his thoughts and in his actions, that’s Tyrion.) 

SO ANYWAYS, grrm doesn’t want you to be able to say, “Those are the Bad Guys over there. We’re gonna go fight them and kill them.” (He actually says the opposite tbh: “Those are brave men. Let’s go kill them.”) 

GRRM wants you to pull those Bad Guys in close and have them put their head on your shoulder as you whisper softly, “I understand. I know this pain you’re in. It’s my own.” And then, after you’ve smoothed their hair and made them a nice cup of hot cocoa and gotten them comfortable and maybe had a good cry together, you’re supposed to look into that character’s eyes and say, “WTF is wrong with you? Look at your life; look at your choices. I’ve dealt with these same issues my whole life and I never became a mass murderer or did any of the other horrible shit that you did. You need to shape up, or else you’re going to be fucking doomed. You don’t get to keep digging this hole deeper for yourself and think it’s gonna come out ok!! You’re literally in a fucking GRRM novel ffs, do you even know how high that guy’s kill count is???”

(This is literally like Sandor Clegane’s story. On the Quiet Isle, he figures out he needs to shape up. He no longer works for the Lannisters. Not everybody’s story needs to be about redemption, though. Some stories are tragedies.)

If the Starks are the characters you should aspire to be (and lbr, the Starks are who you should aspire to be; there’s a reason everybody in canon wants to be a Stark, from Robert to Theon to Barbrey etc)

then the Lannisters are the warning against who you could become, if you aren’t careful. You came to me saying, “I’m a bad person myself.” idk if you wanted me to tell you, “That’s ok, it’s all going to work out” but I’m not gonna do that. That’s not how it works, in either fiction or real life. 

I see a lot of myself in House Lannister. Selfishness. Avarice. Pride. Shame. Perfectionism. These things resonated with me when GRRM wrote about them in the Lannisters, precisely because he made the Lannisters so real. In other fantasy stories, sure, the villains are proud or selfish or whatever, but they’re so clearly the Evil Bad Guys that they were never relatable to me. 

GRRM brought so many of his antiheroes / anitvillains / villains so close to home that I couldn’t ignore them. I couldn’t other them and dismiss them. The Lannisters called to me. They demanded I read and write fanfiction, even, to explore these issues further. The Lannisters showed me who I could be, and what terrible, terrible things I might be capable of, in the right scenario. GRRM turns it up to 11, but still. The Lannisters warn me: don’t be that person. 

That’s why I get so happy at the idea of the Lannisters being brought down. It’s a very personal victory; that ugly, horrible person I could have been was defeated. 

Cersei has her moments of truth in the narrative where people tell her she needs to shape up, and she ignores them. Outside the sept of Baelor, the people tell her they don’t want vengeance; they just want to live their lives in peace. And Cersei doesn’t listen. If you’re heading for a trainwreck and you don’t heed any of the warning signs, I’m sorry but it’s not going to be okay in the end. For Jaime and Cersei, I think their story is about existential tragedy - they will ultimately be unable to rise above their Lannister ideology, and for that the narrative will demand their deaths. And that’s ok. The Bad Guy characters can crash and burn, but you don’t have to if you heed the warnings they ignored. 

The other thing I will say, after reading other works written by GRRM and getting a feel for his endings … it’s not about whether you live or die. We all die. Every single person who reads this is going to die. It’s not about the happy ending, either. Winter – the bad times – come for us all. Maybe the bad times will come again only after 10 years, or 20, but they will come. (lol at theories that the seasons will be “normal” in ASOIAF at the end.)

What matters in GRRM’s stories is whether the character took a stand. Did they fight for what was right? Did they do that good thing when they had the chance? Did they achieve that existential victory? I think this is the part that applies to Tyrion especially. 

Tyrion is GRRM’s fav and he’s one of the greyest of the greys. He does horrible unforgivable things in the books. But there’s going to come a pivotal moment when Tyrion has to choose, and I think that he will make the Good choice, even if it kills him. (Perhaps especially if it kills him, in the ultimate self-sacrifice.) Because it doesn’t matter if he dies. Like I said, we all die. What matters is what you did with your life. Were you victorious in that moment when you had to make a choice between Good and Evil? 

And that’s something that I love about ASOIAF tbh, that GRRM brings the War for the Dawn home. It’s a war inside each of his characters (#body as battleground, im gonna keep saying it), it’s in the conflicts of the human heart, in the choice between good and evil. 

“The war has been waged since time began, and before it is done, all men must choose where they will stand.” 

“It hurts, boy,” he said softly. “Oh, yes. Choosing … it has always hurt. And always will. I know.”

The point of art isn’t necessarily the art itself but how we respond to it. How did it make you feel? What did it make you think about? What did you do, after you put the book down and went out again into the real world? 

As we ride around in these characters’ heads, the War for the Dawn becomes our war too. It’s our fight between good and evil. It’s a war that’s more real than a battle against orcs and monsters. (Think about Jon Snow’s choice to let wildling refugees in through the Wall, and how many senior Night’s Watch officials oppose what he’s doing. Think about it.)

Like I said above, not every story is a redemption arc. I don’t think Jaime’s story is a redemption arc, for example. Some stories are tragedies, where the character dies in the end, because they couldn’t overcome their nature (like Jaime as the valonqar). It’s not the death that’s the point, but the journey you went on with that character. How did it make you feel? 

I mean, GRRM is literally making you feel empathy for murderers. 

Would you be half so concerned with what’s going to happen to the Lannisters at the end if GRRM wrote them as Pure Evil™, without any of those sympathetic moments? In other words, how do you feel about Gregor? Will you care when Gregor dies? I know I won’t. GRRM wrote the Lannisters the way he did, with complex motivations and heartbreaking moments and compelling backstories, because he wanted to breathe life into them and make them real. 

GRRM wanted to make you care before he kills them, so that their deaths will affect you more strongly, so that these feelings, these critical thoughts, these lessons you learned will linger looooong after you turn the final page. (Have I told y’all how much Fevre Dream and With Morning Comes Mistfall HAUNT me??? Oh god do GRRM’s stories linger. Y’all think this is all gonna be over and done with after we turn the final page of ADOS and Blood of Dragons and D&E. Heh. I know better. I know better. ASOIAF is for life.) 

If the thesis of ASOIAF is to recognize our common humanity and to understand that dehumanizing people is wrong, your sympathetic emotions toward the villainous Lannisters go a long way toward supporting GRRM’s thesis on a meta-level. 

**The Others are clearly evil eldritch slavers, but the focus of the story is never on them. We’re almost exclusively focused on what humanity is doing, for 5 books now.

***Also, I’m not sure why Aerys is included here when referencing Tywin’s children, but I’m going to overlook that and point you here: #A plus J does not equal T

EDIT: I think I said this better over here so I’m just gonna paste it below:

GRRM brings the war home when he writes about the conflicts of the human heart. It implies a personal battlefield inside each of us, a perpetual fight of Good versus Evil, consisting of all those choices we make, each and every day. (Even the choices you make about ASOIAF. Doesn’t that make you feel … idk … bigger … more important … more involved … as a reader, that one of the great battlefronts of the War for the Dawn is located inside your head, in terms of your opinions about and reactions to ASOIAF?)

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #house lannister #heatherlanntheclever #replies #the meaning of asoiaf #lannister thoughts #endgame

[wetpapert0wel]

mmmmm

#flick ticks #listen.........i know i keep saying i'm done talking about him.........but this is an important discovery i made lmao........ #so towards the end of our relationship i was Actually Trying. i was Actually Trying Really Fucking Hard to get better. i can recall Two #breakdowns that i brought myself down from- one i apologized for once i was calm and the other i had a hard time with bc i kept like. #realizing what was happening lmao (it was . one of the times he tried to break up with me lmao......) but i could get myself down for a #little while at least!! and the very last big breakdown i had i just. i literally just needed him to sit with me for 3 mins and hold my hand #and take some deep breaths with me and tell me it was ok. that's it. i just needed 5 minutes. but i guess at that point he was so fuckin #done with me and my shit that he just wanted to leave (granted also i wanted to go with him but like. damn. nothing for me when he was goin) #(he was going camping for a week at that time) and like.........yeah i did need more. not from him necessarily but i did need More Help #because god FUCK i was practically a pile of dust from being broken so much sgfnsvgksjfhs #sighs. i just?? i really wanna know like.....how he feels abt everything. like i have No idea what it feels like to hate someone So #Passionately- to be so scared of someone that even their name makes you sick. i have no idea what it's like in his shoes and god Fuck #i just wanna fuckin. understand him and his position lmao.... i myself would've forgiven myself already but he's not me and he doesn't Ever #have to forgive me. that's fine. i've moved on. (and yes i have moved on this is just smth i'm thinking abt and wanna get out lmao) i just #wanna know like. what he's thinking and how he's feeling. i wanna be able to read his mind i guess shfksvgnbdbfdjs- i guess i wanna know how #he's feeling so i can like? further analyze myself and like. work on myself more effectively i guess lmao. idk #i'm not gonna call myself selfish for wanting to know what i did wrong lol. and i'm not gonna call myself selfish for having wanted to fix #shit ❤️ because it's not ❤️ it's me feeling awful about the shit i did and not wanting to lose my friend(s) ❤️ #god. i am super curious as to like.... what all of them feel/think about me..... ah well. it's whatever lol #anyways i drove around town w/ my sister-in-love yesterday & it was fun! she only screamed a little SNFKSBGNS #i wasn't paying attention to the road for Two seconds & i almost hit a light pole SBFNSBFNDBFSMS #i'm gonna try driving myself to therapy today :) #my brother's car sucks to drive in bc it's so fckin loose LMAO #like. his gas and brakes are fuckin SLIPPY like- if i press Either of them *slightly* too hard the car fckin Jerks sbfbsjgbsjgbs #anyways i'm having a lot of fun driving :D one day i'll be able to drive to the mall sbgsbgds #i need to get better at multitasking w/ my eyes tho- i have a hard time focusing on the road and also peeping my mirrors to see if there are #ppl next to me/behind me that i cant see lmao. i'll get there one day tho :) i have a game on my phone that tests my reaction time & i might #use that to like. improve my ability to look around quickly idk sbfjsvgnsvfjss #we'll see! i'll just have fun w/ it all :)