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traumacatholic · 6 months

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Im on the verge of suicide and I suspect my two sisters are as well. While I don't think I will ever do it, because I'm religious, idk about them. And even if I won't do it, to live in such a torment ad the one I'm experiencing is unbearable and unimaginable. Logically I believe in the power of prayers, but on a personal level I find it unlikely anything will ever help me. But I'm still asking for prayers in the intention of us three staying alive no matter what.

I'm really sorry to hear that you and your sisters are struggling with suicidal thoughts. I don't know where you live, but please know that there will be crisis and non-crisis resources that you can access for support and pass on resources to your sisters (as well as to use for yourself). Suicide hotlines are just one form of accessing support. You can absolutely reach out to your local doctor, or see what other support services are in place. Sometimes you can access therapy groups which can often have shorter waiting list times and can often be offered for free or low cost. There are also a range of apps that are free or low cost that offer a range of coping mechanisms. I would recommend just putting in 'mental health' or 'suicide support' into your app store because sometimes it will also recommend apps that are ran by local resources to you.

As for prayers, something that you can try and do is use these prayers. You can say them when you get up in the morning, before you go to bed, or whenever you feel like anxiety/pain/etc is building up. You can pick up praying one of them a day, or whenever you're able, or using more than one. Whatever you feel is most beneficial to you (and also most achievable). I'm giving you a range of prayers under a readmore, just because some of them vary in length and you might find a certain length of prayer works best for you.

Lord Jesus Christ Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner

----

Good Saint Dymphna, great wonder-worker in every affliction of mind and body, I humbly implore your powerful intercession with Jesus through Mary, the Health of the Sick, in my present need. (Mention it.) Saint Dymphna, martyr of purity, patroness of those who suffer with nervous and mental afflictions, beloved child of Jesus and Mary, pray to Them for me and obtain my request.

(Pray one Our Father, one Hail Mary and one Glory Be.)

Saint Dymphna, Virgin and Martyr, pray for us.

----

Glorious Archangel Saint Raphael, great prince of the heavenly court, you are illustrious for your gifts of wisdom and grace.

You are a guide of those who journey by land or sea or air, consoler of the afflicted, and refuge of sinners. I beg you, assist me in all my needs and in all the sufferings of this life, as once you helped the young Tobias on his travels.

Because you are the medicine of God, I humbly pray you to heal the many infirmities of my soul and the ills that afflict my body. I especially ask of you the favor

(mention your request here)

and the great grace of purity to prepare me to be the temple of the Holy Spirit.

St. Raphael, of the glorious seven who stand before the throne of Him who lives and reigns, Angel of health, the Lord has filled your hand with balm from heaven to soothe or cure our pains. Heal or cure the victim of disease and guide our steps when doubtful of our ways.

Amen.

---

O my beloved Queen, my hope, O Mother of God, protector of orphans and protector of those who are hurt, the savior of those who perish and the consolation of all those who are in distress, thou seest my misery, thou seest my sorrow and my loneliness. Help me—I am powerless; give me strength. Thou knowest what I suffer, thou knowest my grief: Lend me thy hand, for who else can be my hope but thee, my protector and my intercessor before God? I have sinned before thee and before all people. Be my Mother, my consoler, my helper. Protect me and save me, chase grief away from me, chase my lowness of heart and my despondency. Help me, O Mother of my God!

----

Thee alone I follow, Lord Jesus, Who heals my wounds. For what shall separate me from the love of God, which is in Thee? Shall tribulation, or distress, or famine? I am held fast as though by nails, and fettered by the bonds of charity. Remove from me, O Lord Jesus, with Thy potent sword, the corruption of my sins. Secure me in the bonds of Thy love; cut away what is corrupt in me. Come quickly and make an end of my many, my hidden and secret afflictions. Open the wound lest the evil humor spread. With Thy new washing, cleanse in me all that is stained. Hear me, you earthly men, who in your sins bring forth drunken thoughts: I have found a Physician. He dwells in Heaven and distributes His healing on earth. He alone can heal my pains Who Himself has none. He alone Who knows what is hidden can take away the grief of my heart, the fear of my soul: Jesus Christ. Christ is grace! Christ is life! Christ is Resurrection! Amen.

#prayer request #prayer req #tw suicide

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animefighter1717 · 2 years

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i was scrolling through your fandom problems tag trying to find a specific post but as someone who is an anti, can i elaborate on the point of fiction affects reality?

take me for instance, i was sexually abused online as a child by a lot of different people. a few of those people used content proshippers endorse to show me what they were doing was okay. im not saying this is the fault of the person who made the content, its absolutely my abusers fault, but it existing and being treated as a normal thing was definitely part of why i normalised that abuse for so long.

also, certain mental illnesses can make it incredibly hard to tell fiction from reality. dissociative disorders, maladaptive daydreaming, psychosis, all of these could affect someones grip on reality enough for fiction to affect it in very tangible ways.

i notice you use proship to focus more on physically and mentally abusive ships are okay and not incestuous or paedophilic but some other proshippers I've seen use it to justify that.

i want to end this by saying i don't mean any of this as an attack, i don't immediately hate you because you're proship, i just wanted to say this to get it off my chest.

- row

First and foremost I want to say that I'm sorry for what you went through and I hope you're getting all the appropriate help needed for you to heal.

Can fiction affect real life? Maybe. Should it? Of course not and most of the time I doesn't unless people allow it. playing ace attorney doesn't turn you into a lawyer, watching a slasher movie won't turn you into a serial killer and reading a smutty fanfics sure as heck won't turn you into an online predator!

As far as the whole mental illnesses making it difficult to tell reality from fiction, that's why there are resources to make that and the mental illness in general more manageable such as therapy , support groups and meds. (Yes I know they are stupid expensive especially in the U.S but that's a whole other discussion for another time) and if they're illness is truly so severe that the real ans fiction lines are near nonexistent, I don't think being on social media, especially this hellsite is healthy for them. I'm serious this place(and Twitter) will harm anyone's mental health far more than help!

The fact that you just assumed that 1. I'm a proshipper and 2. That I think that abusive ships are okay just ain't right. Don't make assumptions about people you don't know.

Obviously NONE of the above are or will ever be okay, I'm just not going to go out of my way to bully people for what they ship or don't ship like what I see almost all antis and quite a lot of proshippers do.

Truth is that I don't care much about shipping in general anymore I just believe that as long as people aren't being assholes or actively hurting others they should just be left to their own devices, not harassed,gaslit, bullied, or suicide baited; things I've seen almost every anti do hence why I have so much disdain towards most of them.

#answered asks #bunnisys #fandom problems #shipping problems

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nico-idc · 3 years

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random vent because i'm numb rn and feel like it

This is a vent post, ill probably talk about su!cide, self h*rm, eating disorders and depression. I’ll also cuss a lot, and things will not be censored. Also, this may seem insensitive to people experiencing any of this, sorry about that. Dont read this if youre triggered by that.

Also, this is my experience with mental health. Everyone deals with it differently.

So, If anyone doesnt know, I have depression and anxiety. And right now, I’m feeling numb as it’s often described by people with depression. But, numb isn’t a very good description. I can still feel. I’ll still smile if you tell me a joke, or if something funny is on a video. I’ll still cry if there’s something super sad. Emotion is just watered down. I feel it, but not as much as I should. Me and my boyfriend were talking, and i couldnt tell him I loved him. It’s not becuase I dont love him, but I just cant feel much of anything, so I dont want to tell him I loved him. Becuase If i did that, I felt as though I was lying. The funniest thing is, I randomly started crying. Still felt nothing, but hey, I had tears streaming down my face. Who fucking knows why.

I havent been doing to great for a while now, but this is the worst i’ve ever gotten. Ive never felt numb before. I mean, I’ve felt myself starting to go through the motions, but i’ve never gone completely numb before. And before this i’ve had a few mental breakdowns. Hell, I’ve sat in a corner twice in the past month or so doing nothing but sobbing and begging myself not to move so I dont grab something sharp and cut myself. (I did not relapse, don’t worry). and recently I completely broke down over simply eating a cereal bar, got through it, ate it. I’m good now.

Figures. That does seem to be my experience. Oh no, big bad issue one time, then magically I just talk myself out of my bullshit, and im fixed. Ha ha, yet I act like I have all these issues. I mean, I didnt even attempt to starve myself, just thought “oh, friends and family wont let me” and didnt. Had a breakdown about a year later, been fine since. Cut for a few months, went to therapy for a few months, stopped cutting. had a few breakdowns about a year or two later, then was fine. was suicidal for a while, went to therapy for a bit, was happy for months. Had breakdowns every now and then, fine now.

ha ha, first time I say alot of this is online. Figures. I’ve done that a lot too. My boyfriend has found out a bit about my depression through this site. Becuase I cant talk to my boyfriend about my shit, but hey random people on the internet! hear about my problems.

So on another note, I recently found a song that describes part of depression pretty well. It’s called “i’m not dead” by boyinaband. it’s linked below, I’ll copy paste the lyrics, and explain how I relate, and what the lyrics mean to me, becuase why not? (lyrics will be in bold)

undefined

youtube

I'm not dead

I'm not fixed, but I'm not giving up yet

Basically, this means that im still here, im still depressed, but I’m still trying to fight depression.

I'm sick of saying that I still don't have anything done

I hate telling friends I'm trying something just to give it up

I never commit to anything, I just say I’ll do something, then decide I dont want to.

I'm still unsure of my emotional state

I'm still incapable of focusing lately

I don't feel like creating

I'm tired of asking Google how to find motivation

I’ve been on break from writing for months now. tried to get back to it, lost concentration. I think this is self explanatory.

I don't think I've ever made

Something that's as good as I'm capable of

Ha, I dont put in enough effort and commitment to make something as good as possible.

I hate not having a reason to look my best

I only ever take care of myself with the intent to show the internet

I mean, I dont try to show the internet, but I only take care of myself when other people will see me.

If what made me successful was an imposed sense of stress then

I am so so glad that I hated myself

The only thing that makes me do things is extreme stress.

I didn't luck into this position

I struggle with decisions

I mean, im not in any high position, but I do struggle with decisions.

I wouldn't be my own friend

I'm too inconsistent

I’m inconsistent as hell. I’m in like 10 group chats, don't talk in any of them for months, then just show up like “hi, havent talked to you all in ages, but hi”.

Without immense pressure nothing ever gets finished

If these words make it to your ears it'll be a fucking miracle.

Yep. I went on whole rant about this on wattpad. Without pressure to do something, I don’t do it.

I'm fortunate to know more good people than most do

I wish I had more friends I could be physically close to

I dont personally have a lot of friends that dont live in my city, so the last line isnt an issue, but I do know a lot of good people”

I'm pretty good at like 20 different skill sets

At the expense of never being great at any one of them

I’m good at quite a few things. Drawing, math, even writing. But im not great at it. I’m average.

I wish this beat hit harder

I wish more syllables rhymed

I know 99 percent of people really don't mind

I dont personally relate to this, seeing as I dont make music.

I think collaborating forced me to finish things

'Cause I was terrified of wasting famous people's time

Oh yeah. Group projects would not get done if i wasnt scared of wasting my partner’s time.

I wish I could focus on what I define priority

I wish I was as grateful as I want to be

Dont really relate to these things

I wish I knew more people who were mentally stable

But if I did,

I wouldn't let them waste their time on me while I'm disabled

Oh yeah. Id love to have a friend who isnt depressed, but I wouldnt let them see that im fucked up becuase i dont wanna drag them down.

I feel alone

I know I'm not

I have a lot of friends, but I still fell alone in this world

I used to talk to lots of people.

Lately I've stopped

They didn't deserve it,

I've been a terrible friend.

But I couldn't bear to let myself become boring to them

I ignore group chats all the time. no reason. Probably shouldnt.

I don't let myself get my hopes up.

I love people who do.

Something good happens? what could go wrong? that is my thought precess.

I never know if what I say I feel is the truth

I have no damn Idea what I think, so its so hard to know what the truth in my head is.

I wish I didn't instinctively try to be less specific

So more people could relate, when they read along with the lyrics.

Not lyrics, but if i write/explain something, I immediately generalize things so its relateable.

I can be happy in the moment

I am not when I reflect

I smile watching youtube, but then I look back and think about how I wasted time.

I distract myself with gaming, waiting to get better

I hate it

Youtube will cure depression right? /s

I wanna do the most good, and prevent the most hurt

But I've gotta put on my own oxygen mask first

This is just an important phrase I try to remember when I’m down. for people who dont do well with metaphors, he’s saying that if you want to help people, you need to help yourself first.

I can't predict what I'll do.

I can never be sure

I am terrified of making promises any more

I can't face my work,

I feel sick from the word

I genuinely believe I'm capable of changing the world

Don’t relate much here, except for the more positive, upbeat tone the song takes on, and i feel that this part, the part above and everything below is dave fighting his depression.

I still think I can get better

I’m holding onto hope.

I still think I can create and get pleasure from it

I hope so, I want my art and writing to improve.

I'll keep aiming to make my emotion and my logic agree

The eternal stuggle. I always try to get the two to line up, it rarely works. I try to use logic more often though.

And become the best version of me

Always trying to improve myself.

I don't want to stop!

There’s alot this could mean. I dont want to stop creating. I dont want to stop fighting. I dont want to stop getting better. I dont want to stop living. I relate to all these things.

I’ll expand on this more later, it’s too late now for me to continue this

#cussing tw #swearing tw #tw suicide mention #tw self harm #tw eating disorder #vent post

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fairycosmos · 4 years

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Sorry for bothering you angel but I have noone else to talk to.I really dont know what to do anymore. I'm so suicidal that I don't know how i'm still alive,how i'm able to breath it just doesn't feel right being alive.My mind keeps telling me to do something to end it all and I'm just numb.The worst thing is that even the closest person in my life doesn't know how bad it is bc i'm always the one to help them with their depression and im so drained.I'm just here to help other no matter how broken

hey love, i’m so sorry to hear you’re going through such a difficult time right now 😞 but you’re not bothering me at all, so don’t worry about that. firstly i really hope you’re currently in a safe environment and that you remain there, above all else. you were able to send this and reach out for some form of support even anonymously and that’s a really good sign. i’m proud of you for being here and for making it to this point, and i want to thank u for being so open with me because i know it’s not easy. secondly i really want to stress that you can’t believe anything your mind is telling you right now, seriously. one of the biggest illusions of mental illness is that it convinces you to think in black and white, to believe that everything negative is permanent and that there’s no way forward. but that’s never the case in reality. there is so much that can be done to change your habitual thinking patterns, your sense of self worth and just the general situation you’re in right now. in fact, change is inevitable if you stick around long enough to see it. it’s happening constantly, even when you don’t realise it. and so is healing and growth, even when you’re in pain too. it is entirely possible to recuperate, for happiness and peace to become a consistent theme in your future. yes, you. i know it’s probably impossible to believe in this moment but i hope you can still accept the sentiment anyway, because it’s true. and what’s more than that, you deserve it. you’re able to give your time and energy to others who are dealing with what you’re also dealing with, and that’s wonderful, but you are COMPLETELY worthy of receiving that same energy and love. i promise. if you need to take some time to focus on your own mental health rather than on those around you, then that’s perfectly fine and there’s no shame in that. it can be hard to internalize everyone else’s grief, and quite emotionally exhausting at times, so don’t let your mind make you feel bad for needing some space. it’s the most natural, human thing in the world. and i’m sure those that care for you want to hear what you’re going through too, i’m sure they want the chance to return the favour and to be there for you. you can give them that by opening up. no matter how hard it is to actually reach out, please please know that the option is always there and that you are never as alone as your mind wants you to believe. another tactic of depression is that it wants you to isolate yourself so you don’t feel the comfort of other people and their perspective, so the only thing you can believe is your own bad thoughts - but you CAN choose to subvert that urge, to talk to those around you about whats going on in your head. it’s okay. if not them, there are a lot of suicide/mental health hotlines available 24/7, and there’s also the option of talking to your doctor/a therapist/a support group to see if they can help you implement a treatment plan (if you haven’t done so already.) even if you have to force the words out, just tell them what you told me. it doesn’t have to make sense, you just have to let it out. sometimes mental illness is just as serious as physical illness and it needs real medical attention in order to overcome, and that’s alright. it’s something a lot of people go through, and it looks different for everyone. but just picking up the phone and making that appointment or talking to a loved one can make a massive difference. there is so much that can be done in terms of therapy - identifying the root causes of why you feel the way you do, giving you the tools to fight the episodes in a healthy way when they do arise - but at the end of it you CAN learn to live a happy and full life despite those days where you just want to give up. it’s a matter of time, finding the balance that suits you and getting through each day long enough to see the results of your progress.

i know it all feels like too much effort, and i’m not saying you have to do any of this right now. or that talking to someone will solve everything. and i’m very very familiar with that debilitating brand of numbness you’re describing - it makes everything genuinely feel beyond hopeless and so far away, it is so so heavy and i don’t blame you for being exhausted. but it’s also so possible for the feeling and the presence to return back to your life, one area at a time. i often think of it like my souls got pins and needles and i need to massage the numbness away with care and patience. you said you don’t know how you’re still alive - it’s because you’re supposed to be. it’s because some part of you, no matter how tired of all this shit you are, recognizes that there is a lot worth holding onto. even if your brain isn’t allowing you to see it in this moment. i hate to be cliche, but when it really comes down to it nothing would be the same without you. you exist and see this world through your unique perspective and love in your own specific way because you’re here. and no one else is you and that is more than good enough. there is so much waiting for you, man. recovery is possible in so many forms, and i’m not just saying that at all. i would fucking hate to think of you acting on your temporary emotions and only regretting it when it’s far too late to go back, and unfortunately i think that occurrence is very common in people who suffer through this sort of thing. as a person and as someone who has been given the chance to experience this world for a fraction of a moment in human history, i hope more than anything you can simply allow yourself to do that. and that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have bad days, or to hate this world sometimes because i absolutely do too. it can be hellish, and we have a right to be in pain. but that doesn’t mean we’re beyond hope and help. it doesn’t mean there aren’t a million different ways to make this all feel more manageable, one step at a time. some days getting through one minute at a time counts as a great victory, and you’ve done it a million times before. so please, if you feel like you’re in danger, please just call someone. don’t listen to your mind anymore, don’t feed into it. just get yourself to safety even if you have to act on autopilot. it’s going to be so worth it so much sooner than you think, im serious. you need some rest, maybe to practice some mindfulness and to focus your brain on some low energy positive coping mechanisms, and to let someone know how you’re doing if possible - all of this will allow you to stop spiraling inwards and start focusing on whats going on around you. i’ll leave a few links that may be of some service to you. please know that i care and that so many people do, that your life is so much more than this moment/what you’ve been through so far. if you need a friend or if you want to talk about this properly, please let me know. i’m here and i understand a lot of us do. sending so much, please stay safe above all else love. that’s all you gotta focus on right now x

https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/security-and-privacy/global-suicide-hotline-resources/

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/suicidal.htm

https://www.healthquality.va.gov/guidelines/MH/srb/OvercomingSuicidalThoughtsandFeelingsFINAL.pdf

https://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/depression.htm

https://www.mind.org.uk/media-a/2960/suicidal-feelings-2016.pdf

#tw suicide #tw self harm #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicide mention #anon

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asking-jude · 4 years

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I'm just a bit of a mess,. i think i have adhd. I've done lots of research n stuff n everything, and I mean EVERYTHING fits, the rsd, the executive dysfunction, hyperfixations, etc. but i can't really go anywhere or get checked, bc in my place it's really really hard to get a psychiatrist or a therapist, and when I told my parents they said I'm just too scared or that I'm faking it. and it just feels so frustrating bc i constantly hate me "faking" but it's the best explanation imo 1/? -💛🌿

(ask continued) ...i feel so fake bc no one thinks I actually have problems, bc I'm "too smart" or just too "hypochondriac" but i know that this all makes sense, it's all me, and it explains why I feel so differently from my peers, but i also dont want to disrespect the adhd community bc I'm self diagnosing/not official. i used to be hyper focused on school before, and get amazing grades, but now I'm honestly burnt out, and i have no motivation, I'm constantly demotivated

and i always feel burnt out and im forgetful and I'm careless and im stupid, but it must be that I'm "just not trying hard enough bc we know you're smart, you're just too distracted with social media and you're faking being r*tarded for attention or to get extensions and stuff" and i feel like such utter trash but it's true, isnt it? i don't even know anymore.

Hello, I am so, so sorry that people are invalidating your feelings and experiences. It must be incredibly difficult to have to deal with negative opinions and lack of support on top of everything else you are going through. I want to tell you that, despite what others are saying, your struggles are very real and valid. You are not a mess; you are just misunderstood and hurting. Rather than seeing it as something being wrong with you, you should try to see it as your brain being wired differently. I am not qualified to confirm your self-diagnosis, but I can suggest some ways to go about lessening your ADHD symptoms. First and foremost, it is so important that you get proper sleep, eat a nutritious diet, and exercise sufficiently. These things can greatly impact mental health. Moreover, individuals with ADHD often find it helpful to stay manage their symptoms by keeping a planner with to-do lists and schedules. Break your day down into small chunks of time. This can help declutter your mind by getting any tasks or ideas you have onto paper. In addition to decluttering your mind, it is also important to declutter your physical space. This will help calm the mind and increase productivity/wellbeing. Practicing self-care is also of utmost importance. Attend to your physical/mental needs and be sure to incorporate activities that make you happy into your daily routine. Here are some more extensive tips on how to cope with ADHD: https://www.additudemag.com/dealing-with-adhd-80-coping-strategies/ https://www.additudemag.com/slideshows/13-adhd-coping-skills-for-organization-time-management/ https://psychcentral.com/blog/12-best-tips-for-coping-with-adhd/ https://www.nami.org/About-Mental-Illness/Mental-Health-Conditions/ADHD/Support You mentioned that it is difficult to find professional help in your area, so I highly suggest you try out online therapy. Some popular virtual counseling services are TalkSpace and BetterHelp. These provide regular, individualized support for people who do not readily have access to in-person services. I also recommend you read the following article to figure out which type of therapy is right for you and how to access it: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/therapy/how-do-i-find-a-therapist-near-me/ I've also attached some links on finding ADHD/mental health support groups, both online or near you: https://chadd.org/affiliate-locator/ https://www.meetup.com/topics/adhd/ https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-online-community https://add.org/adhd-support-groups/ https://addcoach4u.com/us-adhd-support-groups-list/ It sounds like this is really taking a toll on you. If these feelings become especially overwhelming, you should reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-8255 or the Crisis Text by texting HOME to 741741 (in the U.S.). These are 24/7 services for individuals who need someone to listen and support them through whatever they need, whether that be difficult times or suicidal thoughts. Once again, I am so sorry that you are going through this. You are so strong for persevering in spite of these unfortunate circumstances. Believe in yourself and keep fighting. Things will get better, I promise. Stay strong, and I wish you all the best. Much love, Siriveena

Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.

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religiously-abused · 6 years

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Hi, specific question, I hope it's okay to ask. Do you know how to stay safe when leaving will never be an option? We/I have dissociative identity disorder from religious trauma, and one of us refuses to leave the church/faith. So I guess I'm just always stuck. Do you know of ways to at least ease anxiety while attending? Or ways to recover after having to go to a sermon, even if there was fear during it? (1/2)

I dont think he will ever change his mind, and I cant do anything abt it, I’m only a kid alter myself. I guess if you happen to have any tags about how to stay safe physically and mentally while unable to leave, that would be really awesone… thank you..!! -c

I would greatly discourage thing thinking that “leaving will never be an option” as through healing and communication, it is still very possible this alter will change. Especially if therapy is eventually a part of your recovery plan. In the case with DID/OSDD1, nothing is ever forever. Alters are dissociated parts and thus exist in flux whenever they experience the world, just like any other consciousness, and i as an alter can attest to that. I’d highly recommend non-church-loyal parts to start branching out to non-church communities and non-religious activities as that can be a huge step in the beginning for a system to eventually leave.

In the meantime, here’s some ideas for managing your current situation:

one major step our alters took in the early days of distancing ourselves from the faith and managing attendance triggered symptoms was not sitting directly in the main gathering space. we would often sit out towards the sides or in the back where mothers with babies would sit. this allowed us to still be in attendance but put space between us and the “performance” of attending church. it was also much quieter and less crowded which really helped reduce anxiety

journalling while in attendance (easier if you are sitting in the separated area) or immediately in the aftermath can make recovering short term much easier. the sooner you get the thoughts that are plaguing you out of your head, the sooner you will be able to process them objectively.

in journalling, remember to try noting why the thing plaguing you is not logical. this is hard to explain but writing where the contradictions in the faith are can help reduce guilt, anxiety, and self-blame.

bringing something to fiddle with can be really helpful. stim toys are a bit obvious, but spinner rings are both church appropriate and anxiety reducing, and can give you a much needed distraction during the service

not that i should encourage forms of mental escapism, i think it is okay to mentally escape in some circumstances. however, to avoid worsening dissociative conditions, i recommend doing some sort of active thinking. mental puzzles can be really helpful and keep you from fixating on the service itself. try reading a riddle before attending, finding some topic you would like to write an analytical piece about, or some other thing you can actively think about. this way you are not totally gone during the service, but are not experiencing it as mentally directly as before. this sort of separation can also be good for parts trying to break away from the faith

(i want to note that my personal experience limits my answer here. i was not the alter, or even part of the group of alters, that broke away from the church, and i split much later. my memory regarding how this was done is foggy at best. i do know that distancing ourselves from the church occured first by sitting farther away from the central activity, then attending slightly less frequently, then branching out to other communities that made us realize how messed up stuff was. around then, parts split specifically to help us escape, so its hard to know what exactly happened. im sorry i cant give specific instructions on how to help this alter understand the circumstances better. perhaps as i learn more, ill be able to write something informative about it)

-Mod L

#advice #religious abuse #did/osdd advice #leaving #Anonymous

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darlingvita · 2 years

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hey, im not really on tumblr anymore but it seems like my cfs diagnosis is imminent (maaany things have been ruled out and my doctor basically told me it almost for sure was that) and i remembered that i first heard of the condition because i was following you on here. i don't really know like, anybody, at all, irl who has this and i'm feeling extremely lost and disheartened so i was wondering if there was something that helped you to cope with this thing when you first realized (1)

what was happening. the cfs subreddit makes me extremely anxious, some youtubers do help and i've been going to therapy but it's still unbearably hard sometimes. also please feel free to not answer!! you absolutely have the right to not think about being sick for a while djdjdjkd just knowing that there is somebody who went through this who is my age and kinda relatable (a crazy orphan black phase at 16 Is a big thing to have in common) already helps a lot!!!

oh this message just made me smile so much 🥺 i’m so sorry you’re struggling, of course, but knowing that i could help in any way/that we have so many things in common made me so emotional 💕 it’s definitely hard to come to terms with at first! i attended a clinic that helped a lot in terms of acceptance (not so much actual symptom management) because seeing and meeting other people with the illness made me feel less alone. if there’s any sort of CFS/ME groups available near you i’d recommend going! i also recommend trying to avoid reading about the horror stories. CFS/ME comes in varying forms of severity and i found i made myself more anxious by reading about cases that are worse than mine. it’s good to be informed about your illness but not to the point where it’s detrimental to your mental health. i found it easier to live with once i stopped panicking about what could be in my future. it’s a very “take one day at a time” type of diagnosis. i’m always here to rant about flare ups and particularly awful symptoms if you ever wanna drop me a DM 🥺 and i wish you the best of luck with the diagnosis <3

#anonymous #answered #cfs blogging

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bugie78 · 6 years

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Hey! Just a quick response (knowing me, it will probably get a bit longer anyway, but well...) to your post regarding self-diagnosis because there's something I wanted to add – another reason why I absolutely agree with you. I'm not in university yet, but I've spent the last four years absorbing everything I could find about psychology in general. One of the first things I learned regarding mental illness: You cannot accurately observe yourself. You're biased. (1)

Anonymous said Just like the people you are dear to. And of course, even the best therapist/psychiatrist isn't immune to prejudice. However, they are trained to deal with that and they'll still have an easier time "objectively" (as far as that's possible) looking at possible symptoms than anyone with a personal relationship to you (including yourself). (2)

Anonymous said:That doesn't mean you or the people around you can't suspect you suffer from condition x. Otherwise, how would you know you need to go see a doctor? But that's what it should remain until you can get a pro-diagnosis: a suspicion. And you should treat it as such. (3)

Anonymous said:Regarding the community and resources thing: If you don't have the opportunity to get a pro-diagnosis, that's totally alright. What stops you from beginning your research/looking for resources & people with similar experiences on suspicion alone? For example: I highly suspect I have or at least had a mild form of depression. (And there've been times when I've been so much worse.) It runs in my family and a few of my relatives've got professional diagnoses. Still, I don't tell/never told (4)

Anonymous said: people I suffer from clinical depression because: no official diagnosis. When talking about it to someone, I usually narrow it down to symptoms I experience or to a simple "I think I might've (had) depression". To go further would be to discredit official diagnoses & the severeness of the disorder. And, let's be honest: It hasn't stopped me from recovering. It's been a long, long way, but I've learned to manage what I perceive as symptoms of depression. By learning about it. (5)

Anonymous said: By talking to people with similar experiences. By getting to know myself better, etc. At this point, I don't feel the need to get an official diagnosis anymore. Whatever I have/had, I can live with it just fine now. So, self-diagnosis (as in: being "sure" without checking with a professional) really isn't a requirement for getting into a community or whatever. (6)

Anonymous said: God, I need to go now, haha. This has already turned out way longer than anticipated... and I could still say so, so much about this. One last thing, though: There's another reason why a trained professional's perspective is important when it comes to diagnoses. Not just because of the bias-thing. As a layman, it's easy to get the wrong idea about a condition, to not understand something correctly or see things where there are none. Say, you strongly believe you have x – then it's possible (7)

Anonymous said you overinterpret stuff to suit your image of yourself. Or even develop symptoms you didn't show before. Of course, that's not always the case. There's definitely people out there who've self-diagnosed correctly. But it's not as rare as one would want it to be. What it burns down to: Professionals make mistakes as well, but FEWER and they usually have a deeper understanding of an illness. That's their job. But well, that's the main things I wanted to point out (in addition to your rambling.) (8)

......

I AM SO GLAD YOU AGREE WITH ME ANON CAUSE HONESTLY I WAS A BIT SCARED WHEN I GOT THIS MANY ASKS FROM YOU BUT SO GLAD IT WAS AGREEING AND NOT DISAGREEING. wHAT A RELIEF.

I know right! You make some excellent points! People who self diagnose and then refuse to go see a doctor and just put a label on themselves are the ones that bug me the most. I know a lot aren’t like this. BUT there are people who I have seen who are like this. Some people say “well some of us don’t have the time, energey or desire to go see a doctor” And I am like no if you really suspect you might have something you will make time, and have the desire to go see a doctor.

I remember my doctor told me once that a kid came in, and his mom demanded that he give the child meds because he has ADHD... but my doctor knew better and knew that the kid certantly didn’t have it. So he refused which somehow pissed off the mom... like wouldn’t you be happy your child doesn’t need to rely on meds to keep focus...

And I saw ppl put in their blog “im self diagnosed autism” and it just doesn’t work that way. Self diagnose Autism isn’t a thing... being just diagnosed with Autism is.. if your self diagnosed and then go and tell ppl that you have it, it’s just like putting a label on yourself... which being autistic or having asperger’s is wayyy more then just having a special interest and not being able to make friends. Hell, I have many friends and I have Asperger’s. And they all know I have it. Even my boyfriend knows and he accepts it. I have a hard time knowning how to socialize with others but I really do try my hardest.. probally why I am better at this is cause I gotten group therapy to help me on this. And if I just self diagnosed myself, then I wouldn’t be able to get group therapy...but since I had a legit diagnoses done I was able to get group therapy which helped me a lot.

So yeah sorry ranting again but thank you so much for agreeing with me!

#answered #anon #self diagnoses #anti self diagnoses #autism #rant #long rant #Anonymous

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fairycosmos · 4 years

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and it's hard because I don't know how to grow on my own when i'm dealing with my body issues and stuff. i don't talk to anyone, i don't have any friends and i'm super lonely all the time so i'm sure that doesn't help lsdakjflksdjf but i'm trying anyway, i'm sorry for venting. love u chloe, i hope you're having a nice day

hi baby, im so sorry to hear that 😔 it sounds exhausting just reading about it. im proud of you for continuously trying and for being here. i can relate a lot to what you're saying. for many people a big aspect of their eating disorder is not feeling like it's 'serious' enough, but this is simply another trick 'that' part of your mind is playing on you.... it's trying to get you to continue pushing your boundaries, trying to convince you that "well at least ive never passed out" is sound reasoning. it's not. cause then when you do pass out, it changes to "at least i havent had a heart attack." you lose your sense of accurate judgement when it comes to this sort of thing, and it's important not to believe everything your brain tells you. it's not reliable. the fact that you feel this way at all is a pretty good indicator that you need and deserve help, as we all do at times, even if you don't want to accept that fact. point is, if you suffer from disorderd eating consistently then it IS harmful, it IS traumatic and you don't need permission to feel the weight of it on your shoulders. the extent of it is just a minute detail in the grand scheme. cause the longer you use that as an excuse, the worse it gets. you don't have to be on deaths door to be at serious risk. emotional pain alone is enough of a reason to seek what you need.

that relationship with your ex sounds very stressful and i can totally understand why you're still feeling weird about it, even now. there's truly no rush even if it's frustrating to constantly think of her. i think something we have to let people go over and over again in our minds. another symptom of an ed is constantly being in competition with those around you, even those you love, which is so tiring. and it's not your fault at all. it's part of the illness. you didn't ask for any of this. just cause she was struggling doesn't mean you were struggling any less, you know? her pain didn't diminish yours. you still went through all that. you're both absolutely entitled to your own experiences. it can sometimes be v toxic for two mentally ill people to be together and the mental repercussions of that may take a lot of energy and growth to overcome. it's allowed to hurt, and you're allowed to cry. to miss her, and to not miss her. maybe it will always feel awful to look back on it, but it absolutely won't always feel like it does right now. where you're at in this moment is not where you'll always be. it's absolutely valid to want to run away and become someone else, i don't fuckin blame you at all. but even if you stay in your town, you're going to evolve. you may not even notice it at first, but the fact that you made it through the breakup speaks volumes. you got through today without her. you've had small victories since then. that relationship is a very tiny part of who you're growing to be. you're much more capable than you realize, and im not just saying that... every day you're learning to cope, even subconsciously. and that's really all you can ask of yourself.

isolation can definitely worsen your symptoms, can fuck up your perception of yourself and the world and your problems. but i think a lot of us go through phases of loneliness especially when we're struggling, and it's not an indicator of whether or not you deserve friendship. you ALWAYS will. it's just really difficult to come by. there's nothing wrong with you as a person, no matter how much your insecurities tell you otherwise. though i don't doubt that love is waiting in your future, dude. but interpersonal relationships aren't the only form of support out there. you said it's been five years since you've been stuck in these cycles, and you have the self awareness to know that it's not right. so do you think maybe it's time to look into professional help, if that's an option and if you haven't already? of course your brain doesn't think it's that big of a deal but the fact that it's lasted this long and caused so many problems for you just proves that you need to take action. whether it's your doctor, a counselor, a support group in your area, even just a hotline to begin with.... you're not doomed to a lifetime of mental compulsions. there is so so much that can be done, through therapy and building a network of healthy relationships and mechanisms, seriously. of course it's a scary prospect, and you don't even have to like the idea. but you said you want to grow, you just don't know how. acting on your self hatred has only made things worse. so how about you try the opposite to disrupt the cycle? positive change really does spur from putting yourself first, even if you have to force it. it's completely normal to be afraid, but being honest about what's happening will never be as bad as you think it'll be. these professionals will let you work at your own pace to figure out the root causes of why you developed these behaviours, and how to fight the urges when they do arise. reworking your perception of food and your body is so so possible if you let the vulnerability in.

i understand that it's incredibly daunting and overwhelming. so even if you just begin with researching self help techniques and implementing them into your daily life, or accepting that you're allowed to feel pain, or crying instead of binging. forcing yourself to eat a piece of fruit instead of starving. these efforts are practices that will absolutely get easier with time. and not every day has to be good or successful. but as long as you're just trying to do what's right by you. it always comes back to knowing that you're going to be yourself for the rest of your life. might as well try to be your own friend. it's too exhausting not to. anyway im sorry this got long, i know words don't change anything and there's only so much i can say but.....i just hope you're able to get to a place where you don't feel guilty about what is beyond your control, and where you're able to put your mental well-being above your feelings. getting there may be a process, but it's supposed to be. and i really really believe in u!! you're not as alone as you feel. i love you and i'll be here if you want to talk, feel free to drop me a message. take it one day at a time luv 💖

#tw eating disorder #tw binging #tw starving #anon

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