#i'm like. things are fine :)

[queerasflux]

man I wish people understood how much it sucks ass to be neurodivergent and trying to find the middle ground where people like/tolerate you. like, I'm either "boring" (trying to wait my turn in conversations, holding space for other people, taking a back seat to let others get some spotlight) or "too much" (too loud/talking too much, getting excited to share, trying to participate in group conversations/activities). No one really talks about how much of being neurodivergent is just sort of trying to make yourself palatable.

I feel like so much of my life has been spent trying to find this effortless sort of middle ground everyone else seems to automatically already know, and I'm always swinging too far one way or the other. I'm lucky to have neurodivergent friends who grok me, but goddamn I wish that I could just like, exist without the constant background script in my brain that's like "you're being too loud. You're not talking enough. you're being self-centered. you're being boring. you're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong." I feel like I'm back in high school trying to make friends but stuck as the eternal "weird kid"

it's just... lonely and sucks bad.

#I'm fine #just had a sort of blegh night with some people I'm playing dnd with #not a big deal but man the way I interact with neurodivergent people vs neurotypical people is like speaking two languages #except I'm only fluent in one of them and keep accidentally insulting people in the other #I'm just trying to make friends irl #flux's bullshuit #neurodivergent #autism #adhd #audhd #audhd things #audhd problems

[birdmenmanga]

I think there's no greater indication that disco elysium is sympathetic towards communism when it literally says "communism is failure" and then the literal gameplay itself rewards trying and failing. The most obvious one being the Shivers check at the FELD mural, which is an Impossible 20 check BUT opens itself up again and again the longer you spend in the world doing things, but even just looking at sheer probabilities, for any given white check, rolling first and THEN putting a point into that skill upon failure is more likely to grant you success than putting a point first and then rolling, but that would require failing first.

Other things too: Precarious world saying you'll 100% fail red checks no matter what (not necessarily a bad thing, btw!! throwing the boule into the sea is a success but like. in some other ways one would want a perfect petanque throw instead. but people wouldn't typically assume that failure is desirable sometimes from the start) persuading you to accept that you'll fail some things that is irrevocable, for a world where everything is just a tiny bit easier.

The faux game over screen when you faint after reading Dora's letter— emulating a sense of failure on the scale of the entire game. When it rolls up most people go "What?? Game over?? No way, what did I do wrong!!" and waking up after that, with no huge or lasting impact on Harry's health or morale really tells the player, "Sometimes things will seem so bad that it all seems like it's coming to an end, but it's not the end, it's really not the end, go drink so water, you can still go on despite this failure"

I'm sure there are other things as well that are eluding me but like. The literal gameplay rewards failing and succeeding far more so than simply succeeding every single time, and I think you get a fuller experience of Elysium that way too

#just thinking thoughts... #disco elysium #idk man when did we get so scared of failing!! #people never want to speak in class because 'what if I'm wrong :(((' #well then you are wrong... that is okay... it's normal to fail... sometimes saying the wrong thing is a great way to jumpstart a topic... #'getting a good grade in X is both normal to want and possible to achieve' #okay sure but have you made peace with the fact that getting a BAD grade in X isn't a bad thing? #a bad grade in being friends... okay... so you didn't check up on someone in 3 months... you failed... that's fine... #you can learn from it!! you can learn how to keep in touch with people. how to take care of them when they're sick. #how to resolve a dispute. how to communicate and compromise. these are all things you are not born with #and will fail first before succeeding at #Like yes I get that in the age of surveillance your failures may be recorded and preserved forever and that's not great #but if we don't normalize failure I really think we'll just suffocate and die

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[tofixtheshadows]

This is one of my favorite minor details in Dungeon Meshi, firstly because what in the femme fatale, but also because it's one of those little things that raises so many questions about worldbuilding.

The Occam's Razor defense attorney in me says that Ryoko Kui gave Kabru a boot knife because she wanted him to escape from his bonds here. And Kabru is a very competent swordsman, why wouldn't he have a boot knife, sure. He's already got a dagger, he can have this too.

And yet: the implications. Kabru, why do you have that? That is not remotely something that could be easily accessed or used in combat. Nobody is pulling out a pen knife from the heel of their boot during a fight with a monster. It's useless in the dungeon ... unless you're the type of person who isn't just worried about monsters.

I've mentioned this before, but I consider one of Kabru's functions in the narrative as being the character who fully brings the idea of human ecosystems into the story. There's a reason why he's always connected to large groups of people (Toshiro's party, the Canaries). He (along with Mr. Tansu, briefly) introduces the reader to the social and political forces working on the dungeon, showing us that none of this is happening in a monster-filled vacuum. His confrontation with the corpse retrievers, who very nearly kill Kabru's party permanently with their reckless murder-for-money scheme, reminds us that monsters are not the only things that prey on humans. Kabru understands the ways the dungeon causes people to put profit over human lives.

We only get hints of it in the story, but like any gold-rush-style economic boom, it's implied that there is a lot of crime and corruption surrounding the dungeon.

So yeah, it really makes me wonder why Kabru keeps a tiny knife in his boot, meant to be carried on him even in situations where he would otherwise be unarmed. Stored exactly in the place where it's easy to reach, even if, for some reason, your hands are tied behind your back.

#Dungeon Meshi spoilers #Kabru #Kabru of Utaya #using that tag even though I'm ethically opposed. it's fine #dungeonposting #musings with Dea #btw I'm genuinely not trying to imply anything weird here I really do think Kabru has Seen Some Shit #Kabru and his pre-canon pseudo-espionage lifestyle #this was supposed to be??? more of a joking post? but I talk too much #I mean I'm only thinking about it because it IS funny. Kabru. what the hell do you get up to in your spare time. #he didn't even stop to think 'oh no what do I do' #he was just like 'good thing I have a knife in my boot' #even if this was his first time being tied up it just makes me feel like he was prepared for this kind of danger #maybe Milsiril taught him this too

[redgoldblue]

'oh eddie getting jealous' this 'buck's first gay sex experience' that. what I want to see is, in the early days after Buck comes out, Tommy very gently pushing him against the wall in the lower level of the firehouse and sweetly but thoroughly kissing him goodbye before pulling back and smiling and leaving. and a 10 second close shot on Buck still leaning against the wall all blushing and giggly before we pan back to see half the Fam on the top level leaning over the railing as Chim wolf-whistles

#i'm kidding i'm fine with the first things. however i want this scene more than i've ever wanted anything in my life #i would also accept moving straight from the close shot to buck going up the stairs - only stumbling a little - and #hen just grinning and patting him on the back at the top #911 #kinkley #i've seen as the ship name we're going with? #personally i'm sticking to #buckard #but that's just bc it makes me think of cowboys and i like cowboys #9-1-1 #mine #911 spoilers #Evan Buckley #Tommy Kinard #tevan #bucktommy

[hopefulsapphic]

i'm an early seasons steve harrington apologist. sorry. he was not a bad person he was not a bad boyfriend he was literally just 17

#he wasn't even that bad. and he apologized when he was #also he literally thought his gf was cheating on him. with a guy who took sneaky pics of her like. valid actually sorry #and season 2??? why does he call himself a shitty boyfriend he was actually so sweet??? #a little emotionally stunted maybe sure but he was a teenage boy trying his best #every time i rewatch i'm like what was everyone on about he's literally fine. i think ppl blow his king steve phase way out of proportion #steve harrington #stranger things #thoughts from my brain #1k

[agir1ukn0w]

sorry but snow is such a well written iconic villain and donald sutherland performs him so fucking good it's almost hilarious how i start practically foaming at the mouth every time the man opens his mouth to say something deplorable in those movies, like he's so utterly and despicably wrong about almost every crucial thing from katniss and peeta's relationship to human nature as a whole and yet the second he starts talking about how hope is the only thing stronger than fear and how you have to allow a little hope but control it so its spark doesn't grow into revolution and how it's the things we love the most that destroy us you bet your ass i am on the floor screaming crying throwing up because that is my psychotic mustache-twirling villain RIGHT THERE

#every scene he's in is so delicious and i want it injected into my veins like heroine #as you can tell i'm quite fond of masterfully crafted villains whose monologues leave you breathless #also that part where he just tells seneca 'i like you...be careful' *EPIC CHEF'S KISS*🔥 #'hope...it is the only thing stronger than fear' #'a little hope is effective. a lot of hope is dangerous. the spark is fine as long as it's contained' #he isn't my roman empire but i do dwell on him from time to time and get shivers down my fucking spine #coriolanus snow #president snow #snow #president coriolanus snow #hunger games #the hunger games #the hunger games trilogy #thg #mockingjay #catching fire #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #seneca crane #suzanne collins #donald sutherland

[cozylittleartblog]

is this the tragic clown the sims warned me about

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #pomni #art #doodles #sketchdump #just kidding that's the other guy that got turned into the forbidden polygon spaghetti and eyeballs #artblock go brrt haha #''say the line cozy'' i don't like how this looks (crowd cheers) #maybe I'M the tragic clown #the first fanart is always the most intimidating i'm fine now probably #i also have to draw feddy fanart i just don't have any good ideas for that either #feddy movie is good btw. surprisingly. i have already seen it three times #anyway pomni is cute i like her. i hope nothing demented happens to her (so many demented things are going to happen to her) #once again scheduling this for when i will be asleep so i can't change my mind about it. which is how i post most of my art

[bongosinferno]

A devastating and confusing thing about the Fallout setting, when you explore the pre-war aspects, is what the creators think about pre-war America. In the first games we only get hints of the pre-war world, but they seem to be some sort of wild fascist nation invading Canada. In Fallout 1, the first thing we're introduced to of the pre-war society is seeing a soldier shoot civilians and laughing.

Now, for the first 2 games and New Vegas we don't really know much. What we know is that there's a fascist military group known as the enclave who were a sort of US deep state even before the war, and that the government teamed up with corporate interests to preform vaguely MKULTRA-ish experiments with the Vaults. Basically, the government was an extreme version of the 50s American jingoism and McCarthyism.

This is well and dandy, I guess issues come up more when we get to the later games, especially 4, where it seems like none of this extreme plotting and societal civil unrest which would exist is seen. The society as presented in 4 also seems quite progressive, gay people are featured in the opening, and none of the baggage of say, civil rights not existing are included. Now on a baseline, I don't want settings to be more conservative, homophobic and sexist etc., but it becomes a very confusing setting when it's displayed both as this jingoist extreme thing with fascist tendencies aswell as a progressive place where everyone is seemingly equal. If you're focusing on the 50s as your setting, and American nationalism in the 50s, then you can't have McCarthyism spoofs and anti-communism as a societal paranoia norm while also general equality is the norm without misunderstanding why McCarthyism and nationalist jingoism is bad. A massive harm done in anti-communist paranoia is how it degrades and vilifies any progressive movements (women's rights, civil rights, homosexuality) as being morally un-American and therefore connected to communism. To ignore this just makes any critique of MacCarthyism and jingoism weird!

Basically, pre-war America in Fallout 4 becomes this both sides thing where America is both pure and equal and white fences in every instance that we see as the player (the intro), while also supposedly being this dystopic MacCarthyist hellscape that's broadcasting gladly about their war crimes in Canada, and wants to root out communism. I guess the only fix for this issue without getting into the fine print like they had to do is just not to focus too much on the pre-war world.

#fallout #fallout 1 #fallout 2 #fallout 3 #fallout 4 #fallout new vegas #fo1 #fo2 #fonv #fo4 #I'm almost half-way through the show #it suffers from this too but whatever I'm just going to count it as it's own thing #it gets a pass or whatever. telling a video game story and telling a tv-series is completely different #they can do what they think is useful. #We see a bit of what the I'm talking about in New Vegas with mr house being able to be that rich etc #but new vegas cares more about the fallout of Fallout 2 + new ideas than some pre-war America. The most we get is like Poseidon energy and #Raul. but Raul doesn't really care that much about the details of the past world #his life seems pretty normal. it's not that important. #dead money and owb did this like... Okay. wasn't too bad it was fine. I don't like those DLCs too much. Dean Domino is whatever

[originalartblog]

don't be fooled they're both fully relaxed

#i have to make the skk content i crave i know it's fine it's ok i'm ok it's cool #turning my skk feelings into doodles to cope #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #skk #soukoku #bsd nakahara chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #nawy's doodles #i have a thing for putting these guys on couches what is this like my 4th one or something #skk cuddle series

[donelywell]

February 29- March 2 2024

The first time Sonic went Super in Road Trip wasn't exactly as stunning to Tails as other au's and stories.

Tails is like maybe 5 here (I'm not actually that organized on the timeline for this au yet, I'm getting there though, things are getting in order.) and he wasn't forced to grow up and be a hero in this au. So he's a bit more childish than canon Tails because he doesn't feel as pressured to mature and grow up fast. Plus, he genuinely thinks Sonic is going to die and this is the last time he see's him, so tears are bound to come down.

Part 1

#roadtrip!sonic au #sonic the hedgehog #super sonic #dadnic #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic fanart #wholesome sonic and tails wednesday #Okay- I'm gonna ramble a little bit about the dialogue and behaviors here you can skip the other tags if you're not interested #First- Sonic immediately tells Tails that he's fine first before asking if Tails is okay. This isn't Sonic putting himself first- #-but him trying to comfort Tails because even if it's cheesy- Tails will only feel okay if Sonic is okay. #Apparently it calms children down if they listen to their parents heartbeat (melts my heart when I remember that) so Sonic put- #-Tails close to him not only so he could hear that Sonic is alive- but also to try calming him down a little more. #Small thing I started incorporating way too late- Sonic will call Tails Big Guy if the kit is smaller than him and- #-Little Guy if the kit is larger than him. #Sonic changed his pattern color to be blue like Tails' eyes after he points out that they are both yellow (it's not colored here- #- but you probably remember that Super Sonic has golden fur.) #Sonic is constantly rubbing a thumb on Tails' hand as a comforting gesture. #That's my ramble- I know it's just pretty bare bone stuff that anyone reading might get but I freaking love explaining stuff (I gotta stop)

[itsnotacostume]

we as a fandom do not talk about this scene enough. what the fuck is this. why did he feel the need to install this? so he could stare at his boybestfriend all day without having to get up?

#gregory house i know what you are. #does this even ever get mentioned again? #like oh yes this Totally Straight Man spent actual days around very loud noise (which he loathes) but he's adding something totally cool to #the office right?? it's gonna be so so fun and great right?? to make all that hell noise worth it??? #like in the eps before that the sound of the ortho saw things drove him insane #but this? totally fine #because it's worth it! #i mean come on. how are we supposed to take this. “oh he just wants to piss wilson off” WRONG. #wilson seems mildly annoyed at best. he's used to this. this is Normal just another day of being friends with house #but look at house's pleased little face. his stupid smile. i'm going to commit atrocities #house md #hate crimes md #james wilson #gregory house #hilson

[aroaceleovaldez]

one of the really underappreciated facets of the PJO series to me is that the first series (and TKC) are in-universe explicitly published series. Their own books exist in their universe. Percy is a published author in the riordanverse! The Kane Siblings recorded their adventures on tapes and in-universe Rick Riordan transcribed their messages!

Like, there's so much you can do with that! Characters in-universe having encountered the books before actually meeting Percy and learning that everything in the books are true. An adaptation where instead of having their adventures transcribed, Percy and/or the Kanes make youtube vlogs describing everything and splicing in random shaky footage of them fighting monsters and running away and using their powers and their audiences just think they're really good at editing and effects. I mean, even in canon already Austin Lake is established to run a successful youtube channel!

Give me demigods on social media who mortals just assume are like tumblr's wizard roleplayers but no literally everything they post is 100% true.

#pjo #riordanverse #percy jackson #give me a Percy who awkwardly posts videos on youtube like ''Hey guys welcome back to my vlog channel'' #''you might have seen me on the news recently. yeah i got the whole gateway arch thing worked out dont worry i'm fine'' #''i actually got a SICK gopro shot of me falling - i'll put that here in post-''

[fizpup]

valentine, you're a horse ❤️

#my little pony #mlp g3 #wish-I-may #wish-I-might #ok so. I'm gonna ramble for a sec #normally when I post on valentine's day I complain in the tags about being single. but I won't this year! #I've recently realized I'm definitely somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. and that I'm perfectly content without a partner #in the past I've described myself as 'emotionally unavailable' or having 'commitment issues' but neither of those things were ever true #I'm a very loving and loyal person! #I've always been extremely affectionate with friends and family but unable to have the same level of love for potential partners #unsure if I'm just demisexual/demiromantic or actually aroace but I'm definitely not the default settings type of gay lol #I'm a big fan of romance and sex in fiction! but irl? 😅😬 idk about that fam! idk! #hypothetically I would like to have a gf one day and maybe fall in love but now I understand why that may not happen #or atleast is gonna take a while. and that's fine :) #tldr; if your top song on spotify last year was Cupid by Fifty Fifty it's time to do some soul searching lol #happy valentine's day!! 💕

[wistfulwatcher]

#just a knight looking to her queen for approval

#yellowjackets #yellowjacketsedit #mistynatedit #otp: you should be thanking me #otp #mine #edit #* #evidence* #category* #p r o o f #i love parallels #parallel* #2k #1k #me before the finale: i'm fine with no real teen mistynat dynamic tbh #me after the finale: UNFOLLOW ME RN THIS IS ALL I'M GONNA TALK ABOUT FOR A YEAR #literally like...they CAME FOR ME with the knight/queen dynamic #tbh i still don't think knowing this really changes how i've thought about them or their dynamic #(bc esp with the 'first' antler queen thing like i don't see nat being special to misty as BECAUSE she was queen) #but i LOVE that the seed of it was like a literal pledge of loyalty #anyway i wanna write 5000 fics about misty seeking approval from nat #(also this knight/queen dynamic is giving me MAJOR sq vibes and i'm emotional)

[thesandlorde]

you should know I could never make it work

it's pretend, really // do you like the way the water tastes?

it's like gunfire

#my art #lupin iii #lupin the third #jiglup #or evil jiglup i guess #deftones came on at work and i had to get through like four things before i could draw something for this song #its one of my all-timers for sure #the limbs dont make sense and thats fine btw #i'm tired and feel very mentally ill tm today