#i'm just going to do what i know will work better for me bc it'll then work better for y'all in the long run too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 2 years

Text

One of the saddest tragedies of recent years has been the death of the good-faith argument (or giving the benefit of the doubt). The preferred argumentative style is not to argue based on a respect for the other's intelligence and thoughtfulness, but to assume that the other party must be either willfully ignorant, stupid, or hateful to hold their opinion. Yes, in some cases, arguing substance will do nothing--beliefs genuinely founded on hatred will not change if their lack of logic is highlighted--but most people don't hold their beliefs because of that. Most people, even people with whom you vehemently disagree, hold those beliefs because they have thought about and evaluated them and concluded they are true. Most people are not indoctrinated to the point where coherent arguments are useless. Most people are not willing to blindly accept whatever idea they are handed. And even though some people are, and do, the underlying assumption when speaking to people with whom you disagree should be that they are reasonable people who will respond to reason.

Furthermore, there's a lack of acknowledgement in discussions like these that we might be wrong. It's hypocritical to go into a discussion expecting the other person to change their mind without being willing to consider changing yours. We are fallible people--even if we're mostly right, there's a chance that at least some of our understanding isn't perfect. There's a chance we could have something to learn. That's the basis of all productive discussions, and it's strikingly absent these days, particularly in online contexts.

I write this because I've seen several posts just today on various forums that were deliberately misrepresenting the beliefs of certain groups. There's nothing to be gained from doing this: it will alienate those who are a part of those groups and make them unwilling to listen to you. That will not change anyone's mind. The only outcome of that will be to find others to reinforce your disdain for people with these beliefs. Does that make society better? Does that progress the ideals you would like to see? Or does it encourage anger and further division?

It's not as simple as we like to pretend it is. We are not "the good guys" and they are not "the bad guys." Yes, even them. We are all flawed, fallible people. If we wouldn't want people misrepresenting our beliefs for notes or views--if we wouldn't want targeted hostility directed at us for our deeply held beliefs--if we wouldn't want people being fed a twisted version of our views--why are we doing it to others? We're not better than them. We're different, and we think differently, and that is ok. Isn't that what acceptance is about? Isn't that what tolerance is about?

All this to say, when engaging with a viewpoint you think is false, or wrong, or bad, treat the person expressing it with the same respect you want to receive. They are people, just like you. Being intentionally hostile or condescending only serves to hurt and polarize people further. But, if you argue in good-faith, with patience and restraint, then the exchange of ideas may result in some change and growth--in both of you.

#i know this essay is very unprompted and is coming out of left-field for all intents and purposes #but i am feeling very deliberately misunderstood and attacked (albeit indirectly) because of this phenomenon #and i know it's not just me who has to deal with that #i don't know how to say it more simply than to say spreading hate is only going to spread hate #speaking from a position of infallibility is incredibly arrogant and harmful #why paint with such a wide brush? why generalize? why paint everyone who holds certain beliefs in a bad light?#it's easier that way sure. but does it accomplish anything really?#or does it just make you feel better and validate what you already think?#i'm repeating myself but it just bothers me when people misrepresent my beliefs (and those of others!) unapologetically #it's incredibly hurtful and frustrating #and it just leaves me thinking: why do you hate me when you don't know me? when you don't know what i actually believe?#one final thought. if you're reading this and thinking 'boy that group of people should really take this to heart'--#think about yourself. how can *you*?#kay can i just catch my breath for a second #and i feel like i shouldn't have to say this (see essay above) but i'm totally willing to discuss this and i'm not intending to be hostile #so if you want to respond go for it--but please do so in good-faith. thanks :)#kay has a party in the tags #one final final thing bc i have a feeling if anyone does respond it'll be with something like 'well what aboht this hate group?'#yeah obviously trying to logic someone out of deeply held hatred isn't gonna work. but remember they are still people #hating them and wishing they would die etc. makes you no better than them. the *only* way to overcome hatred is love #no you don't have to love the hate group. obviously. but never lose sight of the fact that although deeply misguided they are still people #and they are deserving of the same human rights as all the rest of us. if they aren't that sets a dangerous precedent #that's all folks

16 notes · View notes

deplcythebattery · 7 days

Text

vent tags

#we just got a bill for over 700€ for electricity. it's got two months of charge that it shouldn't #since we only moved in in september and the bill is from july on #and our contract is a yearly thing so it shouldn't even be a thing. but if the two months get taken off it'll still be around 500 #and no amount of budgeting will leave us with enough money to cover the entire thing #ri is pummeling headfirst into burnout so he can't work any more he shouldn't even be going to school #and i can't work i can't get any extra income for us #and it feels like we're drowning #i have never felt dread like i feel now i'm the optimistic one and i'm sobbing bc i can't see a way out #we'll figure it out we always do but things are worse than they have ever been for both of us and it's so fucking hard #i do not know what to do. i can make it work with the little we get from aid monthly. i cannot factor this into it #no amount of budgeting will make it up there is no money to pull from anywhere to cover several hundred euros extra #and we have a vet bill to pay it's only 57€ but it's due in may too on top of this #it will be okay. it has to be. it will be. i really hope it's a fluke and we don't have to pay it but #it's scaring the crap out of me there's nothing i can do to make it better #things seemed better mid month so i unpinned my donation post and now can't find it ugh

0 notes

prettyblondguys · 5 months

Text

Am I allowed to be negative on here about stuff for a minute? Pretty please?

I don't really think that things are gonna change for the better/ get better for me at this point tbh

#Like. I know things constantly change and nothing stays the same but I don't really think it'll get much better y'know.#Lik #I get paid 8.50 an hour to fucking wipe 3D glasses off and retrieve golf balls and get covered in gross mystery liquid bc im in charge of -#-- trash and I have to argue with grown ass men about a claw machine not working.#I don't really think that's gonna change and I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to move out of this house or live on my own or anything -#-- like that or start dating or be the type of normal I want. Just a lot of decisions leading up to me being stuck here forever and yeah.#Shit sucks #Tbc I'm NOT fishing for It gets betters or stuff like that. If I could turn comments off for this post I would lol I really appreciate any #-- concern and stuff but I am Okay #I'm still doing everything I'm still going through the motions even tho the motions suck ass. It's just that I'm constantly --#-- positive and that gets really really hard sometimes lol. Like. My mental health doesn't do well if I'm not forcing myself to be --#-- disgustingly positive so I am. A lot. But it's HARD and sometimes I just wanna admit that no actually it DOESN'T feel like everything --#-- is gonna be okay and that I actually do kinda not like my life lol #I'm good I'm fine I'm just bitching and moaning #I . Wrote this last night bc I couldn't sleep but sent it to the drafts of hell lol. Today's gonna be so fun /sarcasm #Besties I'm fine please please please seriously I'm good #Just pretend Tumblr has a Turn comments off feature lmao #Y'all can seriously ignore this #Will probably delete later but what's the point of Tumblr if not to embarrass yourself by oversharing lol

1 note · View note

imafoolishfragilespine · 8 months

Text

i'm just like ugh i gotta figure out where to get this x ray and when i should do it this week and i'm just worried about walking in without an appointment even though it says you can and like them not having the machine or a person to do it or whatever since i went into one place on the list already and they did not have x-rays

and then i've got this birthday thing which idk where it's going to be so idk if i should take a lyft or not and then i'll have to either exercise in the morning or choose that as my skip day

and then i'll just be worrying about my test results and not knowing if the doctor is going to call before my follow up or WHAT is going to happen and i just. cannot relax.

i just want to be done with doctors i really fucking do like just tell me what's wrong and let me be DONE like this follow up is gonna be the eighth fucking time i've seen a doctor in some form since all this weird shit started and if i don't get any answers i'm gonna be mad. i mean i'd rather not get bad news of course but i figure things are already mildly crappy in my body so like it's not like i can't get used to that i just can't stand the idea of it getting worse

#personal #like it'll be nice to see my friends but idk i'm just like too stressed #i thought it would be okay to say yes bc i hadn't gotten horrible news yet #but i just have that ugh i don't feel like being social rn especially bc i know people are gonna be asking what's going on #and i really don't like talking about it bc if i DID have answers it might just be like ah well it's not that bad #but since i don't have answers i keep thinking of how horrible it might become and everything it might take away #including my ability to say yes to plans every time they come around which already is a rarity #like how much less could i end up seeing my friends when this is the only person who ever actually asks to see me #i feel so bratty but like. why does no one else include me in anything except for their birthdays if that #this one friendship that i kind of assume is over doesn't really bother me but at least i sometimes got invited to hers with everyone else #though there were plenty of hangouts that i knew happened seemingly often without me #but yeah at least when she was in the mix i had a chance even if they weren't hangouts i particularly enjoyed #like it was better than nothing #and this year has already been so hard that feeling like i'm even more isolated than i was the couple years before #just makes it all that much more impossible #i just want to be thought of and like i know i do plenty of thinking about loved ones without reaching out #so it stands to reason it works the other way around #but the thing is i very rarely initiate plans so i know i'm not like inviting one person and never another or whatever #whereas SOMEONE has to be making the plans and i'm virtually never invited #i used to have the luxury of being invited often enough that i didn't have to go to a random hangout if i wasn't up for it #and now it's not like that and i have to say yes when i'm too mentally exhausted. who knows what the physical limitations are gonna be now

0 notes

nondualiber · 7 days

Text

real useful things i've realized about loa while i was "resting" from tumblr & overconsumption:

• stop gaslighting yourself, make actual change instead. you know when you're not doing it right. if you spiral, get desperate, dwell in the old story... well, i've got some news. -- this might seem obvious but for me it wasn't. i was super desperate, giving like 1 step forward 50 steps back but i still played blind bc i thought that if i just said "oh no but my mindset doesn't matter" that would solve all my problems. damn

• WHAT WORKS FOR YOU. ik EVERYONE says this but omfg. i can NOT stress this enough. actually find what works for you. i used to think that my key (decide once n keep going with my day) was not a "correct" way to do it bc it made "no sense" or wtv, but now i've manifested a lot of things with that method & i'm so proud of myself for doing so :,,) wdym with "works for you"? whatever makes you confident enough to not spiral, to believe you actually have what you want, to not pay attention to the 3d & doesn't make manifesting feel like chore but something that comes naturally for you is the correct way to do it. trust your feelings, your intuition, yourSelf; they don't lie

• work on your manifesting concept, a.k.a trust in law. we talk a lot about "self" concept but not about "manifesting" concept. for me, i (kind of) believed i could manifest, i just didn't believe 100% in law. i still don't, but i've gotten considerably better!! my best tip to build trust in law was to start manifesting things that were "easier", more archivable, but not happening on a daily basis so i'd know if it was my manifestation turned reality

• stop consuming. not over-consuming but just consuming, literally. don't read neville, don't open tumblr, don't listen to edward nor any other coach! again, this one was obvious to everyone but me. trust me, you already know everything you need. "but i actually put in practice what i read!" yeah, but which one? you read 100 methods everyday. consuming is thinking from the 3d, and long-term it will demotivate you. trust me

• and last one, forget about deadlines. "when will i have it?" now. "where?" here. now and here. keep that mindset, and tbh in one week it'll be done

#4d reality #affirm and persist #it girl #law of assumption #law of attraction #loablr #manifesation #manifesting #neville goddard #shifting #edward art #loa blog #loassumption #loa tumblr #success story #mindset #manifestation #sammy ingram

661 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

AITA bc I hate my dog?

My live in gf and I got a puppy. I never wanted a puppy. I told her many times I don't want puppies for the same reason I don't want kids: they need too much and I get overwhelmed. I have a cat and that's exactly the relationship I want with a pet. My cat will cuddle with me while I work but she doesn't impede my ability to work. The puppy is the opposite. Everything is about the puppy all the time. The only time I feel like I can think is the brief periods throughout the day when the puppy is in the crate. Apart from that it's constant. The puppy is eating the furniture and the carpet and harassing my cat and potty training isn't going well. I have to watch the puppy every single second to avoid disaster. It's so draining.

My gf meanwhile is in love with the dog. She plays with it and it's much better behaved for her than for me. I do everything she says I'm supposed to to keep the puppy from biting me, to assert myself, but none of it works. Taking care of this dog is my personal hell.

I know the dog will grow up and grow out of this phase so I'm trying not to let my gf see just how angry I am. But I'm angry. I'm angry by how much time this dog takes up and I'm angry about all the stuff it's destroying, and I'm angry that my gf is apparently having the time of her life. We haven't even had sex since she brought the dog home because she spends every second with it. It used to be we'd cuddle on the couch or in the kitchen and things would progress from there but now she's just focused on the dog 24/7 and I can't even get close enough to cuddle her on the couch. This dog that's peeing on my floor and eating my dresser gets more affection from gf than I do.

I told her about the sex thing and said I was a little hurt that we haven't been intimate recently and she told me I was being a dick and that I should just know puppies are a lot of work and that it'll all get back to normal eventually.

So AITA for telling my gf I feel like she likes the dog more than me? AITA for being so upset about this dog and wishing we never got it?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

961 notes · View notes

lowkeyremi · 7 months

Text

That's my man atsumu x fem!reader

notes: I needed to write smthing for my baby's birthday. fwb tsumu does smthing to a me (it'll end up with getting together bc im silly like that), the samu ver is here

Content: slight language, slightly suggestive, fluff

He smiled at her with those sex eyes of his. Yes, he's giving them to her and not you. Atsumu makes everything so hot and cold, it's hard to tell with him.

She giggles and he laughs too, entertaining her for some pussy. The 'why' is something you will never understand, not when you've had that man down on his knees, eating you out like he was on death row and you were his last meal.

Your hope is that both of their stupid asses feel your heated glare towards them. They don't notice it though, mainly because you're best friend pulls you out of your thoughts.

"The sooner you get over him the sooner my life becomes easier." Your best friend jokes. Their attempts at lightening your mood are ineffective. How could you be in a better mood when the man of your dreams only wants sex from you? You want him, badly, but he doesn't want you.

This was something you were aware of before sleeping with him. Yet, you took it lightly, and now here you are, pouting over him being with another girl.

"I know, it's just-"

They cut you off, "'it's different between us, he treats me better than his other fucks.' I've already heard the whole shebang." Your friend rolls their eyes with a quick smirk.

"He's a college frat boy, there's no way he was serious if he said something in bed. It was probably to set the mood." You know they're right, you're just being delusional. You want your relationship to be something it's not.

The rest of your day was pretty foul. Just as you thought it couldn't get worse it did. You had to present your presentation, because your partner who was supposed to do it has covid, and your other partner is so bad with public speaking that she freezes up.

Your favorite coffee is the only thing that brings you some joy to your day. You're seated in your favorite booth at your favorite cafe. You take small sips and check your social media feed. It's then when you hear your name being called out.

You don't bother to turn to look because you know who it is. He sits at your booth, unaware of the anger you feel currently.

"Don't you have someone's pussy to be buried into?" You ask with venom.

Atsumu gives you that cute little chuckle, you hate it so much right now. It feels like a tear to your pride.

"Only if it's yers." He suggests with a smirk.

"I'm really not in the mood right now Atsumu, why don't you go entertain that girl from bio." Shit, know he'll know and tease you. He'll probably cut things off with you and-

"Oh her? I was just tryin' to get her to do my presentation, but she turned me down." He says casually. This is probably the only time you'll be thankful for Atsumu's obliviousness.

"I could have helped you with it." He knows you're smart, and he would have asked you...

"There was no way I woulda asked ya. You always make me do the work, and only give me commentary on my work." He says sighing. You watch as he places those big rough hands of his under his chin.

He's so pretty, volleyball has not failed him once. Even though some of your friends hate his hair; you think it's cute.

Those eyes, so pretty and brown draw you in to him. Also his muscles are just right, he's not too buff but he's also not thin to the point you can't see anything.

"Yeah, it's called improving. I really hope you didn't think you'd get through college with a pretty face and money. College isn't just one big party. At least not for me." You lecture and Atsumu listens, he always listens.

"For starters I do my work now, I ain't slept with a teacher since freshman year which was almost two years ago. Thank you very much." He replies to the shade you send his way.

"Anyway, what is it that you wanted?" You ask with a sigh.

"I wanted to check up on ya s'all. My cupcake seemed a lil' outta it today." Fuck his perceptiveness.

"Just tired is all." Atsumu's eyes narrow at your response. Why'd you think you could lie to one of the biggest liars you know?

"The way ya were acting today wasn't as much 'oh gee im tired' but more like 'my sweetie pie tsumu-bear hasn't been paying me any attention.'"

"If you knew, then why where you trying to force it out of me?" You roll your eyes and look back to your phone as to avoid his gaze and your embarrassment.

"I just wanted to hear ya say it because yer so cute." Atsumu is going to be the death of you. He annoys you to no end.

"Just so ya know, I ain't been sleepin' with anyone besides you, sweetheart."

"How do I know you aren't a big fat liar?" The way he smiles when you hiss at him has your heart melting. Why? Why you?

"I'd be an idiot to sleep with someone else when I got the most beautiful girl in my bed all the time." It's so sweet and sincere, his voice is honest you can tell. It feels like a weight has been lifted off your chest, and that Atsumu shaped hole in your heart is slowly being filled.

"Yeah? What're you trying to say, Tsumu?" You peek up from your phone screen to look at his dark eyes. It catches you off guard slightly, the way he looks at you, like you put the stars in the damn sky.

"I knew ya were kinda clueless but this is something else. I want ya to be my girl."He clarifies and you stop breathing for a second. When you'd fantasize about this you'd never thought his confession would be calm. Atsumu is loud and obnoxious, so this quiet, calmness has caught you off guard.

"Is that a question or a demand?" You ask.

"Not a question, m'already confident in ya wanting me." He's prideful and sometimes it sucks but right now.. it's so hot.

"Okay then, I'm yours." You whisper quietly trying to grasp what you've just said.

"Good, best decision you'll ever make, cupcake." Cockiness is laced in his tone and you roll your eyes.

"I said to stop calling me that," You finally drop your gaze back to your phone, but you aren't even paying attention to the dimly-lit screen. Your brain is exploding right now.

"You're my man now." It finally registers.

"Sure am."

#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu x you #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu #hq atsumu #miya atsumu fluff #atsumu fluff #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff

642 notes · View notes

illustromic · 1 year

Text

My thoughts on drawing wings (an unofficial tutorial)

Do you want to get better at drawing your favorite winged character? Do you have winged OCs? Just want to learn something new? I can't promise this post will help, but maybe it'll give you some helpful tips.

I know, I knowww, wing tutorials have been done to death. I don't care. This was initially inspired by a conversation on twitter, but actually I've wanted to write down my notes on the topic for a long time lol. Basically wings are one of my special interests so it's very important, for me, to draw them both nicely and also realistically.

On that note, let me first show you my resume *distant sound of floodgates opening*

Like what you see? Read on! (Oh, and I will only be covering feathered/avian wings bc those are the type I know best.)

Now, I'm not here to give you a step-by-step guide on wing anatomy and aerodynamics, because there are plenty of other resources that cover this already, and I'll list my faves at the end of the post. Right now, I'm going to give you some easy guidelines and tricks that I wish more artists knew.

1: Wings do, in fact, have bones (crazy, I know) and are actually very rigid because they have to support the weight of a living creature. There are some positions you cannot physically force a wing into irl.

2: Flight feathers are not placed willy-nilly on the wing, because then they wouldn't catch the air properly. Again, like the bones, they are rigid and strong, so don't draw them like fur or ribbons. All wings have the same pattern of feather placement, with slight variation depending on species. If you learn the feather sections, it will automatically improve your drawings a lot.

2.5: Feathers overlap each other like a handful of playing cards, and this looks different depending on which side of the wing you're drawing. They always do this unless they're extremely untidy.

3: The size of the wingspan is important if you're going for a more realistic design. There is no "scientifically accurate" measurement when it comes to fictional creatures, but my general rule is when in doubt, you probably need to make them bigger. Personally, for my original winged human species, I give them wings that can be up to 12 feet long each (the artistic sacrifice is that it's really hard to fit the wings on the dang page lmao, so make your own call).

4: Get used to drawing folded wings. Most of the time, birds keep their wings folded because it prevents them from getting damaged and it conserves energy. The trick is to get good at visualizing how the joints bend and overlap (look at plenty of photos!) In general, they can fold much tighter than you think.

5: Wings and feathers take a lot of patience to draw, but the results are worth it. I've seen so so many incredibly beautiful and skillful artworks that are---well, maybe not ruined, but still negatively affected by a pair of wings that look like an afterthought, or not even like wings at all. You have no idea how much a little extra time and practice will add to your work until you see for yourself.

Finally, some notes on "stylized" wings: Of course it's perfectly ok to draw more simplified/cartoony wings if that's your preference!! BUT there is a difference between a stylistic choice and a lack of effort/poor understanding of the subject matter. Even cartoonists have to learn the fundamentals of realism so they know how to make their designs logical and appealing. Here are some examples of more stylized wings that I feel retain the core principles of anatomy/aesthetics:

And last but not least: A list of helpful links I use personally for reference and inspiration!

I made this pinterest board for general artsy inspo, and this board to curate my very favorite tutorials/refs/information, focusing on the scientific aspect of wings and flight in general. Feel free to use both! (I also suggest pinterest in general for pose refs and such, but try to only practice using photos at first and not other drawings.)

I highly recommend this blog and this blog if you want examples of artists who draw more realism-based winged creatures!! They are both huge inspirations for me and I think you should totally follow them even if you don't plan to draw wings lol <3

If you're REALLY serious about it, my favorite ref books are: Winged Fantasy, a lovely drawing book by Brenda Lyons; Proctor & Lynch's Manual of Ornithology; and Angelus vincens by R. Spano, which is essentially an artbook by someone who (I believe) designed biologically plausible "angels" for their senior thesis.

Ok, idk how to end this lol but I hope it helped! I know it's not my normal kind of post but I'm super busy with college stuff rn and this was all I had time for. If you guys have any questions or feedback, please let me know!!!

-Aloe <3

#my art #wings #drawing #tutorial #the way I could've talked for so much longer haha #but it's 3 am for me and I am fading fast so GOODNIGHT

2K notes · View notes

continent-of-wild-endeavor · 1 year

Text

After a reply on my petty weaving-in-ends post, I have realized you all need to know about the glory of

~~~~TECHknitting~~~~

What, a blogspot site, in this, our year of 2022? Yes.

Look, are you just getting into knitting, and you've followed a couple of patterns or tutorials, but you don't really get why things go a certain way? Or are you an advanced knitter looking for refined techniques, ways to smooth some things out? Perhaps, like me, you want a clear explainer of a certain cast on/bind off, so you can clearly see how it works while you do it, and you can't stand learning things from a video you have to keep pausing, the fast forwarding, then going back to that one part you needed to see again?

TECHknitting is for you. The writer is a very experienced knitter, and better, a curious one, who develops and improves techniques, and makes the best, clearest, color-coded diagrams of the hows and whys and which ways of knitting. An archive of articles 16 years deep, each as good as the last. There's even an index by subject.

A taste:

Here is an exhaustive explanation of my favorite all-purpose cast on, with diagrams of what to do with your hands, tips for variations/improvements, and links to other relevant posts.

A thorough exploration of why your stockinette scarf curls, while garter/ribbing/seed stitch don't, due to the nature of the stitches & their relation to each other. A multi-part series, with solutions that don't work and why, and ways to modify patterns & existing items to fix it. Like do you wanna really understand the fabric you're creating, & why it behave the way it does? This is the shit.

A whole series on knitting better bands & cuffs

Posts about how to pick up stitches properly, where "properly" means "so it'll look the way you want", ie not just bc the knitting gods said so, but how and why it'll affect the fabric you're making, so you can choose the outcome you want.

Basic crochet for knitters, and how crochet techniques can be used to improve your knitting.

A favorite (complicated) bind off, and a way to fake it. And, as usual, why/when you'd want to choose one technique over the other, and technical details on how and why the two bind offs act the way they do.

Different ways to match your cast on to your bind off.

I could go on; in fact I'm having to force myself not to just keep reading these all afternoon. Seriously, it's so good.

#techknitting #techknitter #knitting resources #knitting #fiber arts #diy #needlework

2K notes · View notes

cormorant-red · 2 months

Text

I played 999 recently at @xivu-arath's recommendation, and I had so much fun that (inspired by that one polygon video) I illustrated my liveblog about it!

If you haven't played 999 and you are even a little bit intrigued by a puzzle/mystery visual novel with multiple timelines that all guide you towards wild plot twists...probably don't read the text! 999 is the kind of story that is best experienced with no knowledge besides the basic premise.

Transcript below the cut:

Cormorant: characters in this game really just say shit like "have you heard the story about the crystallization of glycerin?"

as a matter of fact i haven't, june, please enlighten me

Storm: "I know we're stuck in a freezer but. let's talk about weird mythical science!"

Cormorant: it's also killing me that junpei is dressed like marty mcfly and isn't sharing any of his jackets

-----

Cormorant: this game is leading me to arrive at mathematical concepts on my own. what the heck

Storm: kshgushhsg

I take it you're having a good time then

Cormorant: trying to check lotus's work and it turns out that no matter what group i arrange to take through a door, the people left behind will always have the same digital root

so to get through door 7 with snake missing, i could either send a group with sum 16 (junpei, ace, clover, and june) or with sum 25 (clover, june, seven, and lotus), but it doesn't matter because the remainder always have root 9 and can't get through doors 3 or 8! wild!

Storm: yeah the numbers and which doors end up barred to you is so cleverly deliberate

-----

Cormorant: i'm glad i finally checked what novel mode meant, because this is way more fun

Santa cocked his head to one side, like an inquisitive bird, and looked at them.

After several long moments, during which it became apparent that Santa had no idea what the cards meant, June took pity on him.

i'll have to go back and redo the beginning after i get to the first ending

Storm: oh yeah! as I recall that was done differently when it was originally a dual screen game... but it's much better when in novel style. gimme all the descriptions

-----

Cormorant: I had a long day of sitting though presentations and so I entertained myself by calculating digital roots

I discovered that adding 9 or any multiple of 9 to a number has no effect on the digital root, which is awfully interesting bc I got to the part where snake gets killed. Assuming door 3 was opened with 12 and not 21, the options are 7+3 (motive?), 6+4 (they’d both have to be REALLY good actors), or 9+1. And if bracelets work without a body attached, and if ace picked it up in door 5…

That would be a really useful tool to get around the 3-person minimum without altering the digital root

I’m also very intrigued by the theory that zero is also in the game but I don’t know what to do with that yet

Storm: forlornly having to keep myself from saying literally anything

Cormorant: Understandable, please don’t give me any hints! I’m just calling shots for the joy of being wrong

-----

Cormorant: and how do you know that, my traitorous friend?

Santa: “The RED doesn’t need a person, you know.”

Santa: “All I need is the bracelet.”

-----

Cormorant: y’know what i think he’s bluffing. he does need June specifically and that’s why he refused to consider leaving her when they first found door 9. if all he needed was a hostage, he could have grabbed junpei and forced ace to come along, and then he would be dealing with two people under duress instead of three

i peeked at a guide and apparently i found the ending adjacent to the true ending(?) first, oh well. time to see the others!

santa: i said i don't want to leave seven alone

me: bud you can't do a heroic sacrifice too, it'll mess up all the math

reader, he was not doing a heroic sacrifice

-----

Storm: got any character opinions or theories to share so far?

Cormorant: hmm I’ve got soft spots for santa and lotus maybe just because they were in the first group I went with. I like that the game makes a point of showing that lotus is quick with the math/technical knowledge. I warmed up to clover and seven more than I expected to! I have no evidence to mistrust ace….but I don’t trust him

Snake died before I before I could say two words to him

Or…didn’t. Forgot clover said he didn’t

I got info about the previous experiments from clover and I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?

Again no evidence i just wonder where the pseudoscience is going

Storm: santa was so my type as soon as I started playing that I just picked all rooms with him on my first run skugrhsghu

Cormorant: AHAHA that makes me feel better about going “yeahhh door 4 I like the cut of this guy’s jib”

-----

Cormorant: “the bracelet comes off when your heart rate reaches zero” interesting then that we’ve brought up cryostasis

-----

Cormorant: i simply don't trust him not to have a spare bracelet in his pocket!!!

They climbed into the elevator and Junpei listened to it creak and rattle its way to the bottom deck. Only Junpei, Ace, and Lotus were left.

As the elevator rumbled out of sight, Ace spoke.

Ace: “Lotus, would you be so kind as to go with me?”

Cormorant: “bad end” YEAH I’LL SAY

Storm: lkksghr yeah there's a few of those!

Cormorant: santa was really quick to declare that he, june, and seven needed to go with clover. waht's his game

june and ace could have done it just as easily

Storm: they could have! good catch

maybe he just thinks seven is cooler than ace,

Cormorant: i'm imagining clover taking all her grisly trophies to the door only to find it already engaged, because lotus needed no persuading,

and regarding the true ending requirements, it's also funny that santa's like "i hate this bookmark! get it out of my sight!" and this is a huge help in junpei befriending the girl who's otherwise about to snap

Storm: load bearing bookmark

Cormorant: good thing you threw that tantrum bud or you would have been killed with an axe

-----

Cormorant: in my suspicions i forgot a critical detail, which is that he didn't actually go into the door with the body this time

of course seven has been propping doors open, so it really could have been anybody

-----

Cormorant: "where have these 16 boys and girls disappeared to?" eight for each game and then an experimenter? again with the idea that zero might be in the game...

-----

Cormorant: bad endings complete! on to the normal ending, which hopefully has less of junpei getting stabbed to death

puzzling over who could have done all those murders, especially in the sub ending...or did everyone get killed? clover thinks that snake's death was faked. or did snake do all the murders, since he was the only one unaccounted for?...and then i remember what kind of game i'm playing. can't discount the ice mummy as a suspect.

Storm: you truly cannot ignore the possibility of the ice mummy

-----

Cormorant: ah no, so santa's sister was the kid that died...

i can't figure out the connection between events! why did the last games have the veneer of a science experiment, while this one has no context given? why was it all kids last time, and a random mix of ages this time, with some repeat subjects?

-----

Cormorant: called it!!!!

Junpei: “Ace, Guy X, and the 9th Man’s bracelet.”

Junpei: “That was all you needed to open door [3].”

Cormorant: called it before i even got to an ending ehehe

what i’ve been saying!!

Ace: “(9) is a potent ally in the Nonary Game.”

Ace: “Adding (9) to any set of numbers won’t alter the digital root.”

Ace: “As you can see, (9) is a very useful number here.”

Ace: “With it, one can go anywhere, with anyone.”

Ace: “It is, I suppose you could say, a game changer.”

-----

Cormorant: okay, normal ending finished! junpei did not get stabbed but we also didn’t resolve much…I’m now thinking that ace with his pocket drugs could have easily played dead in the sub ending

glad to see that snake is okay and hopefully can stay okay in the true ending. where did clover get that riddle, and will she still have it?

0=6. how much do I read into this

still don’t understand how we get from here to santa hostage situation. he’s been so consistent about not even considering betraying or abandoning people, so either he’s a better actor than ace…or it’s staged. are he and june in cahoots

Storm: augh so close now!! soon I can actually say things

-----

Cormorant: O FUCK

Seven: “Santa’s always in the room with her. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?”

Snake: “Yes, that’s right.”

Clover: “What about it…?”

Snake: “That’s quite simple, really.”

Snake: “You told me that the first time you came to this room…”

Snake: “…Santa was the first to refuse to leave June behind.”

Snake: “Now, doesn’t that beg the question “why?” Why would Santa do such a thing?”

Snake: “The answer is easy.”

Storm: B)

Cormorant: i've been thinking of them as a pair because it makes the math easier! if you've got 3 + 6 + 8, just cross out the ones that make 9 and don't even bother with the addition, your root is 8

Storm: B) B) B)

Cormorant: but god!! they are a pair, do not separate (or the jig is up)

Storm: they hid it soooo well

-----

Cormorant: was wondering when we would see the last cradle guy and oh duh, he was guy X

i did think it was odd that santa phrased it as "i need to leave two of you behind" rather than "i need three of you to come with me," but if he was responsible for everything (most things?), he knew that snake was there, and he was setting up a group that could follow him. excited to see where this is going!

[dreamy sigh] this game is so elegant. what a little puzzle box

Storm: yeah it is, it's just so wonderfully crafted. so little is wasted!

-----

Cormorant: oh boy [akane vision label]

"through the morphic fieldset we were resonant, and we were as one" i don't think i've mentioned it before but i'm constantly pleasantly surprised by the narration in this game. it's not flashy but it's evocative in a way that's really working for me

Storm: this is where the port falls short a bit of the original version... the ds really worked well with this aspect

-----

Cormorant: the number of times i thought "this will be totally wrong but i'll say it to storm anyway"

hello??? [arrow pointing back to the message “I wonder if we’re like…reenacting the past somehow? Experiencing morphogenetic resonance with the last voyage?”]

Storm: Y E A H

Cormorant: laser-guided spitballing

-----

Cormorant: man i said that 4+6 would have to be really good actors if they were the ones that opened door 3...and while they didn't kill snake, i sure underestimated our queen of the stage akane kurashiki

the baseline was NOT where i thought it was

Storm: no one does it like her

#zero escape #999 #999 spoilers #'i'm calling shots for the joy of being wrong' <- girl who just correctly identified the murderer #i wanted to include more back-and-forth but i didn't have enough notes and illustrations to pad it. storm still got the last word in hehe #talk tag #THIS is what the waiting until the ink is dry post was about.#i went and got a new kneaded eraser because my old one was fossilized. are you all happy

184 notes · View notes

betasquads · 3 months

Text

JEALOUSY, Niko Omilana

(part two)

part one here –> jealousy, niko omilana (part one)

———————————

summary: It has been weeks since you left his apartment, crying and devastated, desperate to know why he never came back to make this all right. You in your own mind, you felt like it was over since he wasn't coming into conclusion that he was in the wrong. You try to move on by going to an all influencers party, and that's when you're met face to face with Niko.

A/N: I had to write this twice because it was deleted TWICE. anyway sorry if this doesn't meet your expectations as my writing skills aren't in store since I havent written in a while 🫶🏻 (it was a little rushed bc of that reason, so you'll see some changes in the future just to make it better)

warnings: bad language? I think, slightly gets heated but no smut

You wipe your tears and walk up to Sharky's car with a wide grin on your face, opening the door and getting inside.

"So, how'd it go?" Sharky questions as he starts driving.

"It went great. I honestly just forgot that we had to postpone the entire hangout for another day." You come up with a lie smoothly.

Sharky seemed to be disappointed with the answer so he just nods. "Alright then, you're okay right?"

"Mhm. Thanks Sharks." You awkwardly say as you look out the window, observing the world passing by.

"Of course." He says dryly which makes you not wanna speak again, which you were thankful for.

You were trying so hard not to cry again, all you could think about was Niko. Whatever that had just happened up there, that was not like him.

He never treated you like that, and mostly, you never thought he would just let you go like that.

—

* present *

"You have to go. It happens once a year and guess what? You we're invited. Which means you have to go otherwise you'd look like you're terrible without your boyfriend." You hear your best friend Aella ramble while you were doing some work on your laptop.

"Ex boyfriend. Don't ever mention him as my boyfriend." You correct her while your eyes never leave the screen.

"Right. You're ex boyfriend. You're fans will make a big fuss over you not going. It'll be obvious. And we don't like-"

" "And we don't like obvious". Yeah I heard this stupid phrase like 10 times this past hour. I get it. I still don't wanna go. " You cut her off, annoyed.

She shrugs her shoulders and grabs your hand aggressively. "What– Aella you have to let me finish this!" You exclaim angrily.

"No you don't. You've been auditioning on different shows for an hour. Can you just let go for once? Now that you're all famous it's your chance to shine and show that you aren't miserable from the break up." She grips both of your shoulders as she looks down at you since she's slightly taller than you.

"Alright. Fine. When is this stupid influencer get together?" You sigh loudly, pinching your nose between your fingers.

"It's in an hour."

"What?! You want me to go without no clothing options? I have nothing appropriate for this event–" Your rambling continues, but then, you realize Aella wasn't even standing infront of you which makes you pause.

"Where'd you disappear off to?"

When she comes back, in her hand, she has a black dress that had gold straps in the back, and it had a huge slit.

"Since when did you get this?" You slightly gasp at how expensive it looks. There was no way you'd wear this. It'd bring too much attention towards me. That's what you thought.

"Well, let's just say I already knew that I would know how to convince you last minute. So I bought this dress when you were asleep. Guessed your size." She shrugs at her last sentence.

"There is no way I'm wearing this. It's too revealing." You refuse and you walk back to your room to see what you had in your closet.

"I mean its a party. Thats how its supposed to be. And you wouldn't reuse the same dresses, would you?" Her voice trails off and she has a slight smirk on her face.

You knew there was absolutely nothing you could wear to this event, and you know there were going to be much more famous people than you. So If you wore anything from your closet, you would look too under dressed.

You sigh when you find absolutely nothing, and you turn around to look at the dress that was in Aella's hand. You anxiously bite the skin next to your nails and you nod.

A shaky sigh falls from your lips when she squeals and lunges forward to hug you.

"I will make sure you're having the best time of your life!" You nod anxiously at her words.

You probably thought you were going to regret this.

—

Y/N Y/L/N

Liked by chunkz, ohnosharky, 178,013 others

Y/N Y/L/N: @aellasterlings girlfriend took this photo on our balcony! And a really fun fact for you, there was nothing in this wine glass because we were running late.

View all 2,834 comments

aellasterlings: I think I have a crush on you.

^ Y/N Y/L/N: 💋💋

ohnosharky: gorgeous 🙏🏾🙏🏾

^ Y/N Y/L/N: thank you best friend ❤️

^ zqzxmark: I think he's trying to get with her 😭 also why is he talking to her? bro code?

^ kennyswife: just because Niko and y/n weren't seen together recently doesn't mean sharky and y/n's friendship is over and it doesnt mean hes trying to hit on her. Get over yourself.

^User021838: LOL. He just got friendzoned.

betasquadd34slover: she's going to the influencer get together and niko is aswell... omg.

^ y/ny/l/nsbiggestfan: @betasquadd34slover you do know it was never confirmed that they've broken up or fought?

^ betasquadd34slover: we haven't seen them together for WEEKS. it's safe to say they're done for. We all know they're always clingy together, but there's no content of them for literally quite a month.

y/nslover: If niko doesn't want her then I do !

—

You both were running late, but there was nothing wrong with being fashionably late, right?

Your head was resting on your hand as you watch the world go by while you both drive to the location. Whenever silence was filled the room or any place you were in, your mind would always go back to him and his accusations.

"What are you thinking about there?" You were startled when you hear Aella's voice interrupt your thoughts.

"Hm? Nothing." She sends you a side glance to tell you that it wasn't worth lying to her because she already knew.

"Fine. You already know who I'm thinking about. No need for details. It's enough you're forcing me to come with you."

She ignores your last remark, "Who?" She asks as if she had no idea who you were talking about.

"Aella."

"What? I just wanna know the name." She says innocently, though you could catch the small smile on her face.

"Niko." You finally speak and you could feel a huge amount of wind leaving your chest, happy that you finally got his name out of your lips.

You hear her chuckle, "Already knew it. You can't just get over someone who you were clingy with. Its disgustingly cute." She scoffs but in a mocking manner.

You slap her shoulder playfully and you couldn't hide the wide grin on your face whenever someone mentioned Niko.

"Well I don't think him and I will ever be a thing again. He's a prick and doesn't care about me anymore." Your voice is barely audible when you speak, hurt that he hasn't reached out to you.

"You gotta be kidding me, y/n." She looks at you like you were an oblivious girl who had no idea what was going on in the real world. You furrow your eyebrows, confused.

"You are one oblivious girl." You hear her chuckle at her own statement. What did she mean by that?

"Me? Oblivious? He ended things–" You were about to continue your sentence, but you were cut off.

"You did, actually. Well he was wrong for what he did, but you're the one who ended things. And for your information, I am so sure he isn't over you. Like at all. Trust me, he wouldn't let his jealousy control over your relationship with him. He knows better than that." She corrects you, shrugging her shoulder as she makes a turn to find a place where we could park.

You felt like you were left dumbfounded by what she meant. How was she defending him? Aella was never really accepting of any of your ex's. She always defended you, even when you were in the wrong. This had to mean something.

"Come on, let's go." She mumbles and gives me a grin, opening the door as we both leave.

The cold air hit your skin once you left the car, feeling too exposed. You couldn't wait until this night was over.

You began walking to the entrance, but Aella grabs your hand before you walk off, "I got to tell you something, but promise me you won't get mad."

"That sentence alone just gets me mad."

"Just please!"

"Alright fine. I won't get mad."

"Niko and the rest are here." She mumbles all these words together, but you immediately understood what she was trying to say.

"And you didn't even bother to warn me?" You whine. This night couldn't get any worse. The dress, how cold it was, now you had to see Niko there?!

"I told you to not get mad. Also, I found out from your comment section before we left." She says with a small smile to convince you to forgive her.

You sigh deeply and nod, "Alright, whatever. Let's just get this over with."

She intertwines your arm with hers and you start walking but a guard stops the both of you. Before he could even say a thing, Aella shows him the emails. He immediately opens the curtains makes an entrance.

"He didn't even know us. He needs to humble himself." Aella immediately tries to cover your mouth because you were still close to the guard but you couldn't careless.

"Be respectful." She narrows her eyes at you.

When you went inside, immediately the warm air hits you. The least you could say is that you were shocked with the amount of people that were here. You didn't even know there was going to be loud music and partying.

"I already want to leave. I don't like this it's hurting my ears." As you're saying this, Aella pulls you into the crowd and you recognize some influencers, but didn't have time to greet them since Aella was pulling you too fast.

She stops you infront of a bar and gives you a look to indicate what she was trying to tell you. You immediately get the message and shake your head, "I don't drink." You say like it was obvious.

She rolls her eyes at you, "One margarita please."

You awkwardly shift from side to side while you wait for her to get her drink, already getting uncomfortable. You never liked big crowds or a place with too many people, you always felt like everybody was watching you.

And the only person who knew how anxious you'd get in parties like these, was Niko. He'd always wrap his long arms around your waist and give you sweet and comforting words that reassured you it was going to be alright, and the music and the rest of the people that would be around you would fade from your mind. You would just be focused on his sweet words and soothing voice.

The words like, "It'll be okay, baby," or, "Im here. I'll always be here." always made you feel fuzzy from the inside.

His touch would electrify every part of your nerve cells and the feeling of fear from being surrounded by people would fade away.

You were suddenly interrupted from your deep thoughts when you hear a familiar voice, "Hey girl, didn't know you'd be here tonight!"

You turn around to be met with Nella which results a huge smile appearing on your face, "Hey Nells! It was a last minute plan." You shout over the music and she hugs you tightly.

Your genuine smile was on, happy to see a familar face here, "You are so beautiful and outstanding! I love the slit." Nella compliments as she breaks off the hug.

"I could say the same thing to you!" You compliment back. She really was killing it.

"Do you wanna come sit with the rest? We really missed you! I don't want you to be all alone here." Your heart immediately drops and you politely shake your head.

"I'm actually here with my best friend, Aella." You point over to Aella who's back was only shown. She turns around and immediately her smile widens.

"Aella! I didn't know you were here! You both are really pretty girls." Nella compliments as she hugs her, Aella smiling at her welcoming techniques.

"Are you sure you guys don't want to sit with us over there–"

"Well the party just started a few minutes ago. We'll let lose and think about coming over!" Aella says and you could feel your heart beat becoming normal once again, happy that she covered it for you.

"Alright then, I'll see you both around!" You nod politely and immediately Aella begins drinking her margarita.

Knowing that Nella welcomed you like that with open arms means that Niko hadn't told anyone or even disclosed the fact that the both of you haven't been seeing each other at all. Nella wouldn't do this to you on purpose.

"This is going to be a really long night." Aella says.

"You're telling me?" You almost say a little too angrily, but she just shrugs.

"Guess you'll have to see him at some point." She says with a huge grin, and walks off to the crowd. You roll your eyes and follow her.

You were damned if you actually see him.

—

You could feel your mind starting to fade away, all the thoughts you had earlier were vanished. Every little thing that made you worried about tonight, wasn't really there anymore. It was all replaced with happiness and joy.

Now you were in the crowd dancing along with the rhythm while Aella was behind you dancing aswell like there was no tomorrow.

"Enough drinking, you're stumbling everywhere already." You yell over the music and she nods while small giggles fall from her lips.

Confusion slips on me when you hear her laugh, "What? What is it?"

"Look behind you." She slurs a bit of her words, but you still understood the message.

You turn around, confused. You furrow your eyebrows as you try to look where she was looking, and your heart drops when you see Sharky waving and giving you a sign to go to him.

"Fuck. You have to come with me." You tell your best friend and you give her your pleading eyes.

"Not my buisness. Besides, this is just sharky. I don't see Niko there." She smiles.

"Fine. Give me the keys. I'm scared you'll lose them." You demand her and she listens without fighting.

"Have fun!" She sends one of her teasing grins and continues dancing.

"Whatever, Aella. I'll be right back." You shake your head, annoyed.

You push yourself through the crowd and now you were starting to feel your anxious state rising again. The music felt like it was puncturing your heart, and the people that surrounded you made you feel like you were close to being trapped. Once you've made it out of the crowd thankfully, a familiar face appears infront of you.

"y/n!" Sharky says and your smile was so wide it started to hurt, immediately engulfing him in a hug.

"Sharky! God i missed you so much." You say againist his black tee shirt. He wraps his arm around your waist and both your arms are around his neck.

You felt really safe knowing that your own best friend was here tonight. Your eyes are shut as you enjoy this hug, but it opens for a moment.

Your heart drops when you make eye-contact with Niko Omilana, who had his jaw clenched, and a distasteful look that he sent. He had some of the group talking to him, but he seemed to not be interested at all.

Instead, his eyes were on Sharky's every movement and on his arms that were laying your waist a little too comfortably. He finally disconnects the hug and leads you to the group, and you could feel your nerves building up by just how his eyes never leave, it was only focused on you.

It was the first time you've seen Niko since the day that you left his apartment, crying and devastated. The anger inside of you began bubbling once again.

"y/n!"

"I'm glad you made it!"

"That dress is super goals. I can't get over it." Nella says.

"Right. Looks like im stealing your gal for tonight. Sorry Niko." Chunkz jokingly says and you gulp, looking over at Niko for his reaction.

But he doesn't even acknowledge his remark, his eyes were too busy scanning every part of your body. You could pinpoint the hunger and the lust swarming in his eyes.

"Not blaming you at all." You hear sharky from your left say.

Niko glares at him, but he knew he couldn't say anything. You weren't his anymore. And that scared him more than he would admit. He couldn't get over that Sharky had his chance, yet he also couldn't get over the day he let you go just like that and made his jealousy control him. That wasn't like him at all.

You grin at everyone hyping you up, a little flattered, but everything felt a little awkward. You hoped the night would just go smoothly.

"Isn't this the part where Niko and y/n exchange bacteria with their mouths?" Aj genuinely asks and Chunkz nudges his shoulders as he laughs like there was no tomorrow.

"I'm not interested." Niko mumbles loud enough for only you to hear, his eyes never leaving yours.

You felt humiliated as no one noticed what he said to you, but you knew he was trying to mess around. And it absolutely broke you.

You felt mad at how you once loved the man across of you, and now you both weren't a thing anymore. You hated standing across of him and not doing anything about it.

You wanted to do everything to him, kiss him, yell at him, flirt with him, and everything else that falls under the topic.

You hated how this night had to continue just like this. But you knew you had to deal with it.

—

You were sat on a barstool as you didn't have any energy to dance or do anything since you hates crowds and loud music. Afterall, you came for your best friend.

You stand up for a little since you've been sitting for an hour and you move around while looking around. Something catches your eye and it was in instinct to look back, because it looked too familiar.

It was him.

Niko Omilana chatting with a stereotypical blonde, his boyish grin on sight, and one inch was left between their bodies. You could feel your body freeze. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

His eyes was intently observing her blue eyes as if if he took his eyes off of her, she would vanish from the face of the earth. You could feel the exact same feeling that you had felt the day you ended things with him.

You couldn't even get over him. You knew you had to, but it was so difficult. Especially that in your eyes you saw that he had moved on already.

Wasn't I good looking enough for him? Or wasn't my personality in his theme? Did he ever love me? Did this relationship even mean something to him? Did he even care at all?! All of these thoughts ran in your head that you didn't even notice the tear that went down your cheek.

He was laughing so hard he almost couldn't breathe. He's laughing with her. Did I ever have the same effect on him the same way she had an effect on him?

He looks around as he's laughing but it quickly disappears when the same pair of brown eyes that you've grown to love, was staring right back at yours.

He didn't seem to look shocked that you were here observing the entire interaction. Infact, he looked like he already knew that you were watching. He wanted to make you feel miserable.

You were completely wrong about assuming that he might've wanted time to come into conclusion that he was wrong. You felt stupid for always assuming the best.

You felt like you were close to falling apart and right infront of him, so you turn around and mutter an, 'excuse me' to two couples that were making out infront of you. You wanted him to run after you and give you his comforting kisses that he'd give you all around your neck and your face. You wanted the same words that exactly had a huge effect on you like, 'It's all going to be alright, baby.' or, 'It's okay, im here.'

But he didn't care, did he?

As you're pushing yourself through the crowd you could feel hot tears streaming down your face and no one seemed to notice at all.

You finally spot the exit but before you actually leave, someone grabs your arm. Of course, it had to be the person that shattered your heart twice this month.

"Let go off my arm, Niko." You say sternly through gritted teeth and shake your hand off of his grip, exiting out of the party.

Your hands were covering your mouth to stop the sobs, but you just couldn't. Choked sobs were heard and sniffling as you make your way to the car.

"y/n–" He sounded desperate and scared , but that could just be you trying to make everything justified. What if he wanted to follow me to mock me again? What if he wasn't desperate?

You couldn't even tell anything by his voice anymore. You couldn't read him anymore.

You turn around hesitantly, "What do you want?" You voice sounded completely broken up by the way it wavered.

He's about to open his mouth, but was completely silenced when you spoke before he did.

"Do you wanna scoff at my face and disrespect me again?"

"No–"

"Or slam the door to my face?" Your voice wavers and that was it. You reached your breaking point.

"I–" He was cut off with the loud cries that was from you and you cover your face from how humiliated you felt.

"Please don't cry. I don't want you to cry." His voice is hushed like he was also about to start breaking down at any given moment. He cups your face with his large hand and you push it away, looking to the side.

"Why are you even here? You clearly didn't wanna speak to me that day." Your voice breaks and when you finally look at Niko, he had a layer of tears in his eyes.

His mouth is slightly opened but no words whatsoever forms on his mouth. "Don't hate me–" He finally breathes out, but his jaw tightens when he hears you interrupt him.

"Hate you? Niko– you aren't serious are you? I'm deeply affected from what you've done that day and you bring this word into the conversation? What the hell has gotten into you?" You're about to turn around when you hear a sentence that stops you in your tracks.

"I'm really sorry for accusing of such thing. I can't bear the thought of you leaving me. Please, i'm begging you to forgive me." His voice wavers and you could tell that he was trying to hold himself infront of you so you couldn't see him falling apart infront of you.

You stood there for a minute, trying to choose whether to leave or not, but you felt your body heat up when you feel a warm body behind you. Your breath catches when you feel the familar large hands wrap your waist, pulling your closer into his back. The sensation makes a sigh fall from your lips. His touch might've changed everything you were close to deciding.

"I'm sorry, for everything." He says in your ears. You know he didn't even mean it in a way, but it drove you crazy.

You turn around hesitantly, his hands still on youe waist. He clumsily pulls out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and displays it infront of you.

* Forgive me? Ü *

That was what was written on the paper.

"You planned this beforehand?" You ask in shock. He nods genuinely with a worried look. You began laughing so hard, his lips mirrored yours and began laughing aswell.

He wipes the almost dried tears off your cheeks. His eyes were studying each part of your facial features, the way your eyes slightly close as you laugh, and how your cheeks turn into a faint red. God, how he missed it. How he missed you.

When your laughter dies down, there was a comforting silence that lingered in the air. He swallows nervously, and places the piece of paper back in his pocket. "Does that mean we're okay?"

You hum with a slight nod, distracted by how much you missed looking at his face. You noticed that he was staring at your face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" You chuckle nervously. For some reason, you felt nervous just standing infront of him. You not even knowing it, he was aswell.

He clears his throat and shakes his head to get him off of the trance, "Nothing um– you're just very pretty. I miss looking at you."

Your lips are slightly parted at the compliment, taken aback by his sudden forwardness. You forgot how much Niko used to always compliment you.

"Come here." He sighs out and you comply without a discussion, his hands wrap around your waist gently and yours around his neck.

After a while, he disconnects the hug and the cold air was replaced with his warmth that fell on your body. You almost frowned at the loss of contact, but it was already made up when he cups your face gently and brings his lips to yours.

You sigh out, you almost forgot how good his warm lips felt good against yours. His hands tug on your hips and brings it closer to his body.

You bite his bottom lip playfully and a whine emits from his throat. He smiles and so do you.

He disconnects the kiss so he could hug you again, his arms that made you feel safe were now back, and you were never more happier. You lean more into him as you wanted any warmth.

"I miss you." He says after a few seconds of silence.

You chuckle, "I miss you too."

"Can we not do this again? It was torture." He whines.

"Are you serious? you're the one who started this. You're a man child." You narrow your eyes at him.

"No I did not. It wasn't me."

"Well it most definitely wasn't me–"

"Shush. Let me enjoy the presence of my girlfriend for a minute." You grin so widely your lips started to hurt. You took the advantage of enjoying his presence aswell and the silence that came along with it.

None of you had to say anything, you just both knew that you both loved each other and nothing would ever separate the both of you.

—————————————

#beta squad #niko omilana #betasquad #niko omilana imagine #nikoomilana #aj beta squad #aj shabeel #beta squad imagine #chunkz #king kenny #niko x reader #niko #beta squad x reader #beta squad niko #beta squad chunkz #chunkz beta squad #niko omilana x reader

207 notes · View notes