fandomfan315

[fandomfan315]

the only reason why ten year old girls are destroying stupidly overpriced products at sephora to make “skincare smoothies” is because they aren’t being given access to a yard with a variety of mud, sticks, rocks, puddles, and old ceramic planters to make potions in. the children yearn for the apothecary

[fandomfan315]

6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.

[fandomfan315]

[fandomfan315]

I appreciate the sound effects they added in.

[fandomfan315]

I love the old timey phrase "you forget yourself". bro that was so impolite like do you even know who you are rn

[fandomfan315]

"This fic was ai generated—" Cool, so lemme block you real quick

[fandomfan315]

I can't explain how much I love baguette child. I would protect them with my life.

[fandomfan315]

Yay, unsolicited advice time! Or, not really advice, more like miscellaneous tips and tricks, because if there's one thing eight years of martial arts has equipped me to write, it's fight scenes.

.

Fun things to add to a fight scene (hand to hand edition)

It's not uncommon for two people to kick at the same time and smack their shins together, or for one person to block a kick with their shin. This is called a shin lock and it HURTS like a BITCH. You can be limping for the rest of the fight if you do it hard enough.

If your character is mean and short, they can block kicks with the tip of their elbow, which hurts the other guy a lot more and them a lot less

Headbutts are a quick way to give yourself a concussion

If a character has had many concussions, they will be easier to knock out. This is called glass jaw.

Bad places to get hit that aren't the groin: solar plexus, liver, back of the head, side of the thigh (a lot of leg kicks aim for this because if it connects, your opponent will be limping)

Give your character a fighting style. It helps establish their personality and physicality. Are they a grappler? Do they prefer kicks or fighting up close? How well trained are they?

Your scalp bleeds a lot and this can get in your eyes, blinding you

If you get hit in the nose, your eyes water

Adrenaline's a hell of a drug. Most of the time, you're not going to know how badly you've been hurt until after the fact

Even with good technique, it's really easy to break toes and fingers

Blocking hurts, dodging doesn't

.

Just thought these might be useful! If you want a more comprehensive guide or a weapons edition, feel free to ask. If you want, write how your characters fight in the comments!

Have a bitchin day <3

[fandomfan315]

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

[fandomfan315]

the 3.5mm headphone jack was the wound through which light entered your phone it was a little cave for angels to live in inside your phone and big tech got rid of it cause theyre scared of God the wrong way

[fandomfan315]

dating simulator where it starts normal but it slowly becomes clear that all of the romanceable characters are attempting to cover up an extremely specific murder they committed a year ago before you arrived

[fandomfan315]

i love six o clock because the clock looks so stupid. "|" like get real

[fandomfan315]

I think Sam Reich needs to do just one regular, normal, vanilla version of Game Changer randomly so that when it ends Brennan never feels safe.

[fandomfan315]

🤭

[fandomfan315]

it’s easy to forget, so I’ll remind y’all: you can make fantasy versions of anything. yes even things you might not think about. like soil types. I am thinking of fantasy soil types right now

[fandomfan315]

genuinely offensive that human bodies are designed to urinate. bitch you are in constant need of water. you are made of water. it is your basic building block. you utter whore i just watered you and now you're pissing it away???? and demanding MORE?

[fandomfan315]

Please appreciate the absolute clownery that is this fight scene