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cute-sucker · 21 days

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now you knew that rafe was trouble, that wasn't the issue.

yet you liked the way he always seemed to know what you wanted. the bag you had been looking at for ages? yours. the cute puppy you always had wanted? yours. did you want that small top in every colour of the shade of pink? yours.

you liked the way he treated you. as if you were his little bunny, and you acted the part, coming to his office for his lunch, his heavy hand on your mini-skirt, and his hot breath fanning over your shoulder. you would beam at him, and he would smile smugly at you. people would sometimes look over to see you, a cute girl in his domineering stance.

this was the dream life. he got what he wanted, a nice life with a nice girl. you were wife material, no you were dream girl material. you didn't care that he was a bit mean, or that he would get in your face sometimes. no, he was your dream man.

after all, everything that he did was for you. the last time you had gotten in trouble with him, which ended up in a scuffle at a bar when a guy looked at you for too long. rafe hadn't asked you to change your outfits - some guys would have, after all, you were wearing a skimpy dress that bunched up at your thighs, and boosted your chest - no, rafe had simply told him to fuck off and to get some manners.

then he had told you to go to the car so he would deal with it. he had come back with blood splattered on his white shirt and a bruised hand. you had felt so bad for him, slowly reaching to hold his hand. sometimes he would brush you off at times like this, but instead, he let out a harsh breath, and let you hold his hand.

when the two of you reached your house, he had parked the truck to a stop, his steely blue eyes searching yours. his hands cupped your chin, and you felt your heart skip a beat, as you desperately gazed into his eyes "y'know 'm doing this for you? being proactive. being your man. it's what you deserve,"

that had scared you, but you willed yourself to be stronger and nodded eagerly. it was what you deserved.

as a kook, a trust fund baby, you knew you were going to get handed off to some man, some ravenous man that would take your body as your worth. when your father had told you that rafe cameron was going to be that fine man- you had cried for weeks on end before your blind date.

your friends had told you he was a hottie, sure but one with a cruel facade. he blew past girls like a chain-smoker would to a pack of cigs. he had that frat boy feeling, and he was older. not too old, but enough for you to feel like a kid compared him. and now here the two of you were, tethering on the line of being engaged and you were scared? sometimes you would stand by the edge of the country club's pool to watch him laugh and scour the area for girls. you would always hide before his eyes reached yours.

but now you couldn't reject him.

so, you forgot about that time. blocked it out. instead, you decided to throw a party with your girls, stems of cherries in your mouth, and a sweet facade laid out for you. your girls were linda and marry anne. you were the hostess, handing out the drinks, and trying to make sure everyone was happy.

finally, when things calmed down, you found yourself lying by the pool while mary anne recounted her story with the pool boy. the sun felt nice on your skin, as you felt yourself relax.

marry anne giggled, nails sparking in the light, her bikini top itty bitty as she shimmered closer, "i don't know what to think of him. he's so innocent. nothing like the men we have to cater to. i liked it." then she blushed, "what! stop, don't give me that look."

linda bit the straw of her drink, and shook her head, "you know what, i don't think the men are a drag, i mean c'mon you know she," linda murmured out dainty finger point at you, "she's had her fair share of men. and now rafe! how nice," she swooned fixing her blond curls.

it was here that the two of them traded a look. a look that was unwelcome.

you felt your eyebrows furrow, as you wiggled out of your position, and gave both of them a confused look, "what about him?"

suddenly things went dead silent, as linda let out a sharp giggle, almost uncomfortable. you felt the hairs on your arm stick up, "guys! what about him?" now you were demanding, as marry anne gave you a pointed look, as linda continued to shake out her hair.

"okay. well i think he's kinda of a dick? like remember that shit he pulled on in new years?"

you shook your head, sighing, "i thought you guys got over that."

"he got mad at you trying to kiss a guy for new years! he was practically having sex with that disgusting girl down by the bay." linda blurted out, eyes bugging out of her head. you found your arms wrapped around your waist, feeling defensive.

"well, i was kinda promised to him? y'know. i shouldn't have tried to kiss that anyway," you murmured out softly. at this linda let out a laugh, to which marry anne silenced her.

"listen honey, i think you should be careful. promised or not. you have freedoms, and rights as a girl," marry anne continued, with a raised eyebrow, "and me for one- i would not be able to handle a man like that-oh-"

a hand snaked behind ur shoulder, and you turned around to face the person a beam on your face. "hey!" you giggled out before realising rafe was there. he was wearing that white shirt that made you go crazy for him, and while you wondered why he was there; he had a strange look on his face.

"mary anne, linda, nice to see ya guys. taking care of my girl? i bet you are." rafe muttered, turning back to look at you. you were practically ready to jump into his arms, a clear pout on your face. it was almost as if he knew that you needed him.

you sighed, and leaned into him, before whispering something into his ear. "don't wanna be here anymore."

at this, you saw rafe's eyes flash with anger, before grinning that snarky smile you knew so well. all of a sudden you were straddled on his lap, like a little girl as you played with his rings. he was inspecting lina and mary anne with a look of predators. "so, what are you guys talking about?"

linda quickly blurted out, "nothing! nothing at all. y'know what, i think anne and i should go. gotta an appointment at 5." mary anne looked close to rolling her eyes, but nodded before getting into more discussion. their smiles looked fake, as they gave you a quick wave, and ran as quick as their heels could take them.

you found yourself lying in rafe's lap, completely tired. he was brushing out the baby hairs out of your face, before softly dropping a kiss on your forehead. you exhaled, wiggling closer to him. he was never like this. so full of love to share.

"gonna make you mine, all right?" he whispered in your ear, before nipping at your jaw, "gonna give you my kids, a house full of them, and some better friends, bun. you're the sweetest."

and just like that any thought of leaving him was gone.

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zoekrystall · 1 year

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Got to all the dragon tear memories and noooo whyyyy did my guess with zelda doing it had to be right. More than dragon tears were shed oh dear hylia. Idk if I am just more emotional lately or if that close up with her dragon form crying got to me. She looks absolutely radiant as a dragon but whyyyyyyyyy. Idk if I like or hate it. It is interesting but my emotions </3 Let me at least get close to her as a dragon. I will fail but I will absolutely try to speed after her now.

#totk spoilers #Got to the last then her dragon flew by and I just said 'oh that looks way too close to zelda oh please not tell me I'm wrong'.#Went to the last tear but wasn't sure I was ready. Man.#There are still mems n story I wonder if that like changes or if she truly stays one and that's it #Hnnnnnnnn #Was smth w the last one I got being the 8 one w the three having a nice tea time #and then her dragon form flying above me and reveal the last one #Didn't cry much bc it's genuinely hard to let myself cry but nonetheless totk now counts as a game that made me #Which is an achievement #ganondorf sexy yadayada yes I agree but MY GIRL TURNED INTO AN IMMORTAL DRAGON SO THAT LINK CAN SAVE HYRULE #I might. Have stronger emotions abt zelink/zelda than I think huh.#I am an empath but only with fictional characters /hj #Link and zelda became like children to me. My darling daughter why did you do that. I get it but WHY #I could try to talk abt all this more eloquent all I say is I get why and support her decision. She knows what she does.#Link and me will not let it be in vain but ik you already have absolute faith in him #her dragon eyes truly mesmerize me they feel so full of emotions #a wild lux appears

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harrowharkwife · 4 months

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you ever think about wake's notes? about how her revenant wrote that "THE ONLY THING OUR CIVILISATION CAN LEARN FROM YOURS IS THAT WHEN OUR BACKS ARE TO THE WALL AND OUR TOWERS ARE FALLING ALL AROUND US AND WE ARE WATCHING OURSELVES BURN– "

" –WE RARELY BECOME HEROES."

only to end up a hero herself? 'cause i do. i think about that a lot actually

#she's became a hero to her people in the end. you can tell by the way everyone talks about her in NtN #the shrines in BOE headquarters! the portraits of her they bring on spaceflight missions!#i think they're on all the ships bc there was one aboard the ship that harrow finds cam cor and jody on in HtN #that line from pyrrha to we suffer haunts me. 'maybe i just like being around other people that knew her'#god. wake sweetheart you're keeping the spirit of the revolution alive even in death #if i think about her for too long I'll cry so I'm gonna stop myself now and go to bed #awake remembrance of these valiant dead #awake remembrance of these valiant dead kia hua ko te pai snap back to reality oops there goes gravity #commander wake #tlt #the locked tomb #should i get we rarely become heroes tattooed on my body yes or no. i feel like the answer is yes

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eiko-chatter · 4 months

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#is it weird that this feels worse than 'just'#grieving my dead friend #the set of things i'm feeling are so confusing and complicated rn #maybe it's just the sick brain but #i feel like i'm being washed with bleach on a high spin cycle #there's so much going on and it all feels like too much and -#and i feel viscerally like i'm failing the people i care about #i don't endorse a lot of what i'm feeling and that makes it worse bc #like what #am i going to dump it on the people who care about me when i don't even believe this shit?#i don't even feel okay posting this in my crying channel rn for reasons unknown to me so it's just #going to be here now.#sorry!!!!#tomorrow can be brighter than today!#today was. bad. so it's easier to believe that than usual actually #it all hurts and #and she's stlil dead!! and i still miss her!!! and keep thinking about ways i could have saved her!!!!#yep even in this post that starts “this isn't about my dead friend”#i'm coming in at the end with dead friend posting #i wish things were different ;-;#delete later maybe

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sga-owns-my-soul · 5 months

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lol my mom just texted me merry christmas and asked how i've been and i'm about to fucking break down completely on public transit bc of it!!!!

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phantastragoria · 10 months

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do you have a favourite portrayal of a character in the gotg game!! who is it and why <3

Oh I think they're all great honestly!!! Part of why I love the game so much is that genuinely, the whole team + supporting characters are written with such obvious love of the source material and equal attention between them all. When I see comments of people saying who their favorite character was from the game and the answer always being different from each person I'm like!! That's how it SHOULD be!!! They're the Guardians of the Galaxy (plural) the focus shouldn't all fall on a singular character like most other GotG media usually ends up as 😭

The two (sorry I can't pick just one) whom I think benefit the most from the game though are Drax and Gamora because they're almost always sidelined both in-and-out of universe by most of the various writers (especially as of late) and in turn the viewers/readers. I've been told plenty of times that they're the most boring members of the "main" team, BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY! The amount of love the game versions get (by the few who've played it at least) proves that 🥺

I've never really liked 616 Drax shifting to being a complete clown during the 90s and such (and even less so when the MCU followed along 💀) So I appreciate the game taking a bit of his seriousness from the DnA run and just making him struggle with nuance and context clues in a less exaggerated way (autistic Drax I still believe in u) and I feel the focus put on him and how losing his original family + the aftermath deeply affected him hits pretty hard here because it's treated very seriously and shown in depth, especially with how his family (wife) gets actual focus. I cannot tell you anything about Yvette in comparison to Hovat, who actually seemed to have had a personality lol (AND she was on their village's council like omg imagine having more to you than just being The Housewife) Though I will say I flip and flop on my thoughts about Heather being disconnected from Drax's life in this universe... The TLDR is that I think his arc here specifically works stronger when he has to come to terms with losing his entire family and accepting the life he currently has with the Guardians. BUT!!! I very much appreciate that Heather is still confirmed to exist within this universe, even if that means her dad issues would have to be dealt with in a different context if we ever get to see her.

Also? Shoutout to the writers actually bringing up the intense paranoia that always kneecapped 616 Drax but having that be a turning point in his backstory here, with that conversation he has with Peter where he talks about how he was becoming so paranoid of everyone being a chitauri/Thanos conspirator to the point of literally turning into an obsessed maniac like Thanos, and realizing that he desperately needed to turn his life around, it's so ough.

Out of the already many great conversations throughout the game, I think the ones with him are the most poignant. My favorite scene in the whole game is Drax and Pete's little moment on Knowhere... makes me go wahhh

(l also love that out of everyone on the team, it's his headspace that we quite literally get to go into. You KNOW that if this was any other media it'd be going into Rocket or Groot's head and likely treated as a joke.)

And oh my god, Gamora...

I find it so extremely refreshing that her role in the plot doesn't revolve purely around the men in her life, and instead, it's nearly exclusively her connection with other women. Or in the most direct obstacle she has to deal with, being how she starts projecting to the millionth degree on Nikki's situation for reminding her of what happened to her and Nebula. I find that infinitely more fascinating as a reading of her character rather than just dating drama or her arc getting completely overtaken by a man's instead.

And especially in her friendship with Mantis, who, despite having all these futures she's constantly seeing and having to navigate, still makes time to do her best to help her 🥺 From saving her life and being the one who put her on the path to healing on Lamentis, to getting her to join the Guardians and still checking in on her when she's able 😭 Friendship between women can be so powerful... u love to see it (🏳️‍🌈)

I also find it nice that there's this emphasis on her recovering mentally, and the comparison between Thanos essentially teaching her to just Deal with the shit in her life through very simplistic meditation versus the priests of Pama actually teaching her something to help soothe the mind :^( and that she still has moments of relapsing essentially. I find that to be a realistic take on recovery because that's just part of the journey since healing is not linear... and I think it's very sweet that she finds comfort in collecting something ---girly--- like dolls. Love to see a person reclaim a part of their childhood that they weren't allowed to experience. And how she's allowed to make BAD JOKES?? Imagine a woman being written to have multiple dimensions, crazy and absolutely unthinkable, I know.

There's this extremely specific theme in relation to Gamora across media that's been rattling around in my brain since first playing the game. When near the end during the revisit to Knowhere, she's about to completely lose it when Peter tries talking -for- her on what she's so upset about before immediately shooting him down, and she explains what happened between her and Nebula and she starts crying. It really struck me right then that she's never given a moment to cry elsewhere (or in the 616's case, the quite literal inability to.) aside from her shedding a Single Manly Tear (Original Sin) or a single moment out of legit fear (MCU 💀) because she's a hashtag Strong Independant Woman who can't be vulnerable etc etc. But for her to cry in front of the people she's come to care about, It gives her a moment of true vulnerability that I don't think she's allowed ever in most other media.

That and all of the above hits hard and is what makes me genuinely believe that the writers cared about her in the narrative and tried to do right by her when every other bit of media really hasn't nor cared to the majority of the time since the 90s :'^/ Brings a tear to my eye that she's allowed to just... exist in the narrative on her own merits and not on what she can provide to someone else's story.

#lex thoughts #gotg thoughts #universe: eidos game #gotg2008 #sorry for asking for a question then immediately disappearing for a month 💔 I'm on the most stressful roadtrip ever #i 🫶 you for asking about them though the Eidos gotg are my everything and i won't shut up about them if given the chance #very funny to me that all these important moments happen on Knowhere. Strange things can happen at the end of the universe.#The end page of W&tIW 09 is the only other Gamora moment of vulnerability across media that i can specifically pinpoint #But it's more self reflection in a way of a heavily traumatic experience that I don't feel ever truly got resolved within the 616 IMO #And I find it a specific point to be made when Gamora is/isn't allowed to feel or literally denied things that are stereotypically-#-categorized as -feminine- (which is dumb to assign gender roles to a simple human emotion such as CRYING.-#-But you get what I mean I hope) We play fast and loose with gender around here pardner I think all of the gotg should cry more #but in Gamora's case specifically it Hits Different knowing her past and treatment throughout media #i could also heavily go into the way the game adapts Peter's character in relation to his element guns but that's an essay for another time #just because -i- find that extremely fascinating doesn't mean i think he should particularly be the main focus (and he isnt)#bc pete rocket and groot are the ones that already get all the attention (even if i dont agree with how they're written elsewhere)#i just find it more engaging for the other two main characters of the team that always get sidelined by the writers actually being put in-#-the spotlight with equal attention given to them for once to be sooo -shakes fist #sorry for the intense word salad i hope i make sense lol ESSAY/RANT OVER .🤐

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barkingangelbaby · 4 months

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I feel like such a broken fucking person lol

I talked way too much in the tags don't read them

#fighting off the ideation like my life depends on it!! bc it does!!!#been good about not thinking certain phrases but F U C K am i feeling it. i want to turn into a pile of dust #i am so desperately trying to work on myself and change my patterns and bad habits and perspective but it feels like i always fall short #i try not to talk about it online but I'm just. having a very hard day with N because we experience our feelings in different ways #i isolate myself bc i struggle with regulating my reactions and tones when im having an episode but she needs me to talk through things and #i sometimes just. can't. bc I'm not done experiencing the negativity and am not in a place to have a productive convo bc shame spirals etc #we just spent a long time talking and being patient and i thought i was understanding and explaining myself well but i just. idk.#i don't know how to explain that of course i love her even if I'm isolating myself. of course i love her although I'm nonverbal today. i jus #t can't *make* myself talk when I'm like this i don't want to be nonverbal i don't want to isolate i don't want to be a distant partner i do #n't want to fall back into these patterns related to my grief i want to be better i am trying to be better i am working so fucking hard on #being better. i just feel so defeated bc this all spiraled from me not wanting to decide what to get for lunch n using a poor tone about it #I'm about to talk with her some more but I just. kinda don't want to exist right now. fuck dude. it feels so fucking awful when i upset her #like i love her so much she is so important to me and it breaks my heart that our entire day is shot bc i was tired and cranky #i just don't understand how that equates to me not loving her bc she is my whole world dude. I'm going to throw up #i also don't know how to explain to her that scrolling on tumblr is comfortable to me I'm not ignoring her it's just the SM that i scroll on #like we're hanging out watching tv together I'm gonna scroll a little bit. it's just not insta or anything #idk my mind is scrambled I'm crying I just want to be a better person who can calmly communicate my thoughts and emotions #today has just beat my fucking ass dude. i isolate so those feelings don't get translated into my interactions with others #i don't even know what i typed in these tags I just don't want to off myself or think about it I'm fighting myself so much 2day #rAMbles

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froggieknight · 3 months

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i do one mean thing and feel sick ajdkfk she was just there AGHHHHH SOMEONE TELL ME ITS GONNA BE OKAY BC I LIVE WOTH HER AND IM SCARED IM NOT SUPPOSED TO :(

#i was having an intense conversation with my ex litteraly crying bc yk THATS HOW IT GOES #and she can obviously hear this and bounds up the stairs all happy so i say 'piss off name wait no please leave i'm begging you i'm #emotional right now' or something like that and she was all 'that's not very nice bla bla' but in a bitchy way and oooooooh boy i said '#'i'm not very nice' and she was all 'ha (cruelly) i gathered bla bla' and i just wanted to talk to my ex but ajdkfkfk I FEEL BAD / SCARED I #UPSET HER #this doesn't seem like a big thing but i promise it is bc im fragile and feel like the whole world will collapse

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fortes-fortuna-iogurtum · 1 year

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side notes from my last episode of Miss Scarlet that didn't fit into the other post I just made:

-- DETECTIVE FITZROY. THAT BOY. for real I don't think anything could BE cuter than his little grin at Eliza when they're standing the doorway at the end of the case. AAA. LOOKIT THE SOFT BABIES.

-- I appreciated the complexity with Detective Phelps!! he wasn't reduced to a stereotype *or* just a simplistic subversion of a stereotype!! he was interesting!! I think I actually may like him as a character now??

-- (I mean he's still going to keep being a jerk to both Fitzroy and Eliza, I'm sure. and I'll hate him for that. but he's multidimensional and interesting now, he's not just 'The Office Bully With Seniority'. and I can understand a little better why he is the way that he is. and I always appreciate when writers give us that in characters.)

-- ok this one's gonna be kinda long:

on the one hand, of course I wanna be irked at William for courting Arabella. but on the other... I cannot blame him? she's got a lot of what he's indicated he would want in a potential wife, and while I do believe that he loves Eliza anyway... she's resisted all of his attempts to court her, or even to move their relationship past anything beyond friendship((+ """secret""" unspoken pining)). he directly asked her whether she would ever want a family of her own the last time we saw them interacting together, and she dismissed it immediately. as far as he's concerned, she's fully indicated that she's got no interest in being courted by him or having any sort of formal future with him. or anyone else, for that matter.

basically, I'm just thinking... there's no commitment between William and Eliza. they've already formally agreed to keep their official relationship to 'old friends/professional working partners,' even if there are other, more complicated emotions under the surface. and sure, it's kind of angering that he's so attracted to the one person Eliza Can Not manage to get along with, or even to like. the one person who always made her feel Inferior and Disgusting and Worthless at school. but... he has no real bond to Eliza. not right now. and there's nothing that's stopping him from courting Arabella. and I don't see that it's wrong for him to do it.

-- it IS wrong for him to make Eliza cry at a distance while watching them together tho so I shall once again renew my vow to break the nose of this fictional character immediately

#ok actually that last one is slightly a joke bc I *do* stand by what I said in the second-to-last point #I just think that it makes sense! and I cannot logically be angry with him!#even tho it hurts my heart a little and it definitely hurts Eliza's even if she won't admit why!!#i'm still not over her crying all the way from his office to hers bc she thought he'd left and she'd missed him at the end of last season #gurt says stuff #miss scarlet and the duke #random thoughts #I need to make a tag for all the random brain vomit stuff I come up with while consuming new media tbh #bc I feel a little bad putting all this under the main tag for the show #given that it's not constructive or beneficial content in anyway. it's not like. actual meta or something. :')#literally just all my thoughts semi-organized and vomited into a tumblr post and published for the world bc I do not feel like putting them #in my formal diary

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nimbus-tatze · 10 months

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my therapist disMANTLED me

#i love her #but i felt like a lego set being pulled apart section by section #it's gonna really hurt once she starts moving the legos out of the way piece by piece #cracked me for sure #and i dont like it bc i dont want anyone to know about the ugly things inside of me but i know me not liking it is good actually #she is getting to the bottom of it #gotta sit with these stupid feelings #imma go eat lunch now #food after a good cry hits different #like its really nice #feeling like a moody toddler that is exhausted from all the big feelings #i'm gonna eat #personal

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adhdvane · 1 year

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Okay but the new gbf event, literally going to cry. I stayed up to read it last night (er this morning at 3 am), bc I was excited about it being a sequel to Together In Song. I loved Together in Song, that event fucking crushed my hear (also shipping Elta with Caro). This new event was SO GOOD. I LOVE CANTATE. WHAT THE FCUK WHAT A BABY. HER PASSION AND ANGER AND FRUSTRATION AND STRUGGLE AND LOVE. What a wonderful character. I really wanted to start crying when she was so happily and excitedly info dumping about violins and Selfira was genuinely interested and enjoying listening. I need to ship this so bad. Like, I usually don’t go to hard for ships that seem mostly wholesome, but god. You can’t tell me not to hc Cantate as autistic, like there is no way I won’t. I want Selfira to meet Cantate again and for them to make music together and fall in love and ;ojlhkgjhfdghjhjgfdsfgh

more under the cut because i take issue with some of the ending of the event and started ranting about it lol

The only issue I had with the story was the ending with the “see the price is important so your instruments will be bought by professionals who can play well and bring joy to listeners.” Like whoa, I’m sorry lol, hold the fuck up. Please tell me why conflating wealth with skill (and talent as much as I hate the word talent, bc it’s often used to overlook the hard work people have put in to honing their skill lol) is a good and accurate idea. Like people who are poorer are incapable of being extremely skilled in music, what the fck gbf? Like I get the issue of don’t price your skill so slow because you put so much work into your ability. Your skill’s have value and unfortunately in a capitalistic society money is required to survive. It is her profession. In a perfect world it could just be a hobby and I think there should be zero issue letting her give instruments away for as cheap as possible. Let her do what she wants. And it was important for her to learn that letting someone thank you with materials things is not a bad thing, and it can be insulting or hurtful to refuse their gift (and explaining that there’s a cultural barrier here too that’s causing the conflict, which was great). I feel for Caro about not being sure if pushing her in the direction to leave the island and sell her instruments will make her happy. It did selfish to think of it like but all that waisted talent. Like cool, but maybe just let her do want she wants? I guess the idea was supposed to be like, well she wants to give more people a voice and doing that and helping her reach her goal means spreading her work beyond the island. I guess there was some level of, she also really needs to price higher for the sake of not being taken advantage of??? But the story insisted she was really good judge of character??? So like I guess in the end I think the only reasonable reason that I think should of been why she should price her instruments higher is that leaving the island means leaving her apprenticeship, means needing money to support herself, and the prices she was trying to charge before did not accurately reflect the hours of labor she was putting into each instrument. Like the island mentions that price of material sometimes affects the cost but did not say anything about the time that is put into making an item. I think the first part of the argument that she should value her ability more was a better argument than, you need to make your instruments more expensive so random people who cannot play them to their full potential don’t buy them all. Because professionals only care about the monetary value of an instrument. And also only professionals should play her instruments that’s literally not what she wanted. Idk that last bit came off really elitist/classist. Like let her make beautiful instruments for anybody who wants them, like fucking boo-hoo people who aren’t professional are playing them which means its a waist of such a good quality instrument, like fuck off with that. Low supply and high demand meaning only wealthy people get nice things is fucking messed up, lets not pretend it’s a good thing. Especially when the person suppling wants to let anyone be able to play. It’s fine to put value on the experiencing of listening to music but trying to gatekeep people out of playing via price is still shitty, you know. I’d rather we didn’t frame that as a “good” thing. So yeah, I agree that she should consider pricing higher because she needs desperately needs to value her own work more (and just value a lot of herself more, sob). But I don’t agree we should just pretend it’s totally good thing that society believes that high quality = most expensive and that the people who can afford them are the people that deserve them the most. :\\\\\ It’s a complicated subject and I think gbf fumbled on the end in that respect but I give them props for the, please value your work, bc there are a lot of young artists who underprice themselves because they don’t think about the amount of time they put into a piece and the amount of time they spent honing their craft. (obv the real solution lies in paying people more, a reasonable fucking wage, so people can fucking afford shit. and not letting .01% hoard money and not put it back into the fucking economy because they underpay their workers and [froths at the mouth]. anyways... it’s more complicated then that but I’m not here to have the discussion, it’s just relevant to mention with the topic of this event.)

#sammy liveblogs about granblue #sammy be quiet #regardless i love cantate #and i very very very much enjoyed the story #like tbh i don't fully read all that many gbf events because i'm usually mostly interested in a few characters #and gbf has a massive cast #and i tell myself the event story will go in my journal and i can go back and read it later #but i loved the previous event so i went in planing to not skimming it #and was very glad i did #tbh i like selfira way more now i was super indifferent about her before bc i am 100% guilty of skimming her fates #and i completely skimmed her previous event and she didn't do a whole lot in together in song #like elta was little more focused on in that event and i already like him bc he was sweet baby and had watched his sr events #bc when i was baby player and for a while when i did run sr teams for the pendents i used both his wind sr and light sr so i cared about him #im glad selfira got to shine more in this event and i do want to go back and read her other event #bc god also when she started crying about feeling like she ruined her great grandmothers legacy uhg it hit me in the chest #im very interested in her now <333 #okayyyy i need to shut up now #im done i swear #OKAY ONE LAST THING #I JUST WANT TO SAY ITS NICE TO HAVE AN EVENT I ENJOYED THE STORY FOR AFTER DESTROYING MYSELF WITH GW #i needed some of my faith for why i love playing gbf so much after farming to the point of frying my brain #bc god do i really love some of the story in gbf (and i adore so many characters)#yes i'm a hopeless farming addict but i can burn out on that #and the reason i kept playing gbf was not just the gameplay loop but the story too #lol ''gameplay loop'' you mean farming hell]

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lestatlioncunt · 2 years

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i was tagged by @nuclearstorms @morvaris and @arklay to do this quiz for some of my ocs, thank you so much everyone!! i’m giving all of you a kiss

not sure who did this already so feel free to ignore it! i’m tagging: @cultistbase @ianeiras @aelyosos @montliyets @faarkas @reaperkiller @keevan @swordcoasts @steelport @camelliagwerm @avallachs @jacobseed @denerims @shadowglens and whoever else wants to do this!

WHAT GOD ARE YOU?

– VESPER MOXLEY: Mirror God

You are a reflected God, trapped by a curse. Changing form as interesting things pass your little window into the world. You emulate the beautiful faces you see as they get made up and powdered before airing on television. You emulate the quaint little farms that run on commercials for cranberries. You copy these bits and pieces of media, these TV people, these ideals, into an identity. You know you are something quite different.. but do not remember what you were or what you liked before becoming a reflection. You know one day you will leave this mirror and you will not look the way you wish to, it scares you. Why does it scare you?

(+ i took it twice for vesper because i was so hmmmm about the result and now the two combined are making me sob)

Void Ghost

You have not yet been born into belief. Why don’t you believe in yourself? It's very critical to existing at this stage. You're floating around, for now, looking for your place in the new and rapidly changing world of humans.

– FENIX HAYES: God of the Unused Fireplace

You are a very powerful fire demon (you think so anyway). Since this house was built in 2008 with an electric heater, the occupants have never called upon you. You wonder what you would do if they lit you up (burn the place down probably). You want to roar ferociously and combust into a fire the size of the sun! For now, you lay in the hearth invisibly next to unlightable decorative candles and wait.

– DANIEL MOXLEY: Gust God

You were born free! As free as the grass grows! You could go in so many directions right now you might pull yourself apart trying. There are kites to fly and wheat to whip through and birds to knock around and- Oh no, you’ve tornadoed an old woman’s garage sale sign away. Go pick that up!

– VIOLANTE WAESPHINE: Void Ghost

You have not yet been born into belief. Why don’t you believe in yourself? It's very critical to existing at this stage. You're floating around, for now, looking for your place in the new and rapidly changing world of humans.

– ZEFYR: Force of Flood

It’s torture. You feel every blade of grass, every kitchen tile, every little set of running feet as you consume the land. You don’t mean to! You’re so angry! Why do they treat you this way!? You were an ocean spirit once, calmly sending waves and rains inland. The people were happy, you were pristine. Now every summer they have only built more, dumped more, stole more from you, WHY COULDN'T THEY BE HAPPY WITH THE RAINS AND GRASSES? "I WILL WASH AWAY YOUR ROADS! I WILL SOONER WIPE YOU FROM THE EARTH THAN SUCCUMB TO YOUR SLOW POISONING!", you bellow from roiling brown flood plains.

#tag games #for now i put the ocs banners on timeout bc i don't like them anymore but i have no time to do them but i also wanted to this so yea <3 #i will proceed to scream now. like we all do.#VESPER RESULTS HAVE ME SOBBING TEARS. but also Thinking u know? i'm like. this makes sense if you think of the whole johnny problem slowly #killing her and erasing her. so THROWS UP. but in general i feel like ves sometimes is so focused on OTHERS that sometimes she forgets she's #a person on her own too and mmmh urghhh i gotta think of this. fenix result is sooo good. just let me say that this man could be way more #unhinged than what he shows. i think that if he Snapped for good smth terrible would happen. let's leave him to chill really..#daniel well..he's free. he really is but the tempest he brings with his freedom can be scary and bring disaster and like ok funky little man #we enjoy to see you end up in trouble but what if one day your actions will bring consequences to your loved ones? ever thought of that?#violante being void ghost...won't go into here bc i might cry. she never had a place where to belong i'm uGH WE WILL NOT TALK. and zefyr..oh #zefyr my beloved...they are just a complete vulcano of rage and death and this is already too long but i sooo see this with their background #and just I SEE THIS PERFECTLY. YOU GO FUNKY LITTLE TIEFLING MAKE EVERYONE SUCCUMB!!#also was i the only one to get void ghost for my ocs?? DID I FUCK THEM UP THAT BAD THAT THEY ARE VOID GHOSTS?? HELLO????#oc: vesper #oc: fenix #oc: daniel #oc: violante #oc: zefyr

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sheerioswifties · 1 year

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#so today i broke down and fully cried over realizing the reality that i probably won't be able to go see Taylor on this tour #and i felt so stupid for it like crying over not getting to see a concert seems so trivial and i mean so many reasons but like #and like i don't cry much anymore like I've been through and am in so much pain and horrible stuff constantly and so much stress and trauma #but I've built up strength to not cry over those things like if i did I'd just be crying nonstop so i channel my emotions into trying to #solve the problems and like still I'm so unbelievably stressed but like also as an empath i feel everything really deeply but usually lately #the things that make me cry are more like sweet animal rescue videos acts of kindness touching stories or really deeply inspirational or #relatable things in books etc but so like I'm like mad at myself for crying over this but #i checked the stubhub like prices for what tix are going for and it's fucking over 500 a pop for nosebleeds i just #it's infuriating the scalping and how many hard core fans are unable to go bc of that but rich ppl who aren't really fans i just. 1000 bucks #for 300 level is just no I'm sorry that's not ever gonna happen and i just #i really thought I'd just find tickets over time closer to the event like that's how I've done several concerts but then i looked and saw #that and I'm like oh my god and that's before fees and then there's the gas to get there the repairs that need to be done to the car to get #there all the other fees involved and in realizing oh my god like I've been overconfident and now i don't see a way and I'm so sad and i #just broke down its i know iy seems stupid but first this feels like something that might not happen again anytime soon if ever the way the #world is going out could be last chance and rep tour was the first time I'd been able to see Taylor to begin with and the experience was SO #amazing it's like the one thing i looked forward to this year that lifted me up in really dark times and again i feel shitty when there's so #many fans who never get to see her international too i just. I'm sorry I'm just like this breaks my heart on levels and like #i hate how money dictates everything i hate that i went to eds last tour tickets in the same venue were 30 DOLLARS and even the Taylor ones #i think were like 75 and now it's so high bc only scalping it's so fucked up and like I'm already in a really bad hole money wise bc of #an emergency issue that happened and I've got some scary medical things going on waiting on tests and having trouble with rent and food and #gas so like i can't even try to be like. you know? like justify trying to save up that much even when i got all this #i just.

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noxtivagus · 1 year

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i'm so sleepy

#🌙.rambles #really wanted to do so much more today but. i did a lot #i'm really happy w yk yeah bio n literature earlier n then #earlier hehe me n apollo were chilling in our parents' room bcs our dad was playing the 1975 music out loud. bonding over music c:#n then. talking w my friends a bit but.. specifically i'm really happy i managed to. hmm. hopefully those words reached her #i know my friends well i think. more than it seems on the outside #so i really want to do things for them n i know how to convey it in such a way that it wld at least resonate with them more #but i really do hesitate that i'll do it wrong yk? or i'm low on energy myself #but. i'm just. personally proud that tonight at least i managed to tell help her a bit. i really had a feeling she hasn't been doing well #for. the past months. i'm so sick of hesitating i just want to reach out but i really get afraid sometimes n i'm sorry #sincerity n authenticity n honesty mean a lot to me but. my friends aren't usually. as Open yk #goddamn i can't write it well enough bcs i cld write how i perceive it specifically for each n every single close friend of mine #n i really just want to help in any way i can bcs i really do care #i'm. also just really for the friend i said earlier. i really just.. know how it feels to have that hope crushes n for it to #ah. i don't know how to write it but the words are in my head. i really wish i cld just call or hug my friends anytime to just reassure #them or listen or just be company. bcs i know how it feels all too well n when i'm managing a bit better like i am right now i just #want to make the most of it but.. sigh #i'm more. yk more of a writer than your average person. but #writing is just so hard at times isn't it? but i really want to do as much as i can #n then. i don't know i think i need to cry i think. i want to do so much #yk that horoscope.co thing. i'm not too big on astrology i just find it interesting but w scorpio sun & capricorn moon (bcs that's me)#read it again n it a bunch of not rlly resonated with me :^) ffs i just want to do so much n it hurts #bcs i want to be kind to myself but i'm in a constant battle of. yeah really trying not to push myself but it's so hard #when people are put in the picture. humans are social beings. it's inevitable n. it's just so.. it just feels so helpless for me i think.#bcs there's so much in me that wants to just be freed like. i want to be who i am with no restraint but.#there's just.. a lot too but.#thinking of earlier today n how i overcame my anxiety. n we. we bought the tickets. for the 1975. doesn't feel real but my motivation rlly #yeah. n then. fuck the pain i'm channeling that energy to my motivation instead but #i really.. need to sleep. i'm sorry i can't do more right now. i really want to. tomorrow. i hope. i will do more. but i'll rest now.#..n tonight somehow maybe telling you to rest wld reach you somehow. probably not but i'll just leave this here.

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fangsup-cobrastyle · 1 year

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when you accidentally miss a shift at work and have a nightmare that your manager is putting you on probation and basically telling you that she can never trust you again but then you wake up and she tells you not to worry about it and that she appreciates you and that you can come to her if you need anything 😭

#i have been. mistreated by so many people in my life #most bosses i've had have yelled at me for getting sick on a work day #and i spent most of my life with friends/partners who only liked me for what i could do for them #so idk how to accept genuine love from people #and i'm literally crying over this bc i feel like i don't deserve ppl like her #*gerard way tweet in my header* idk why i shared all of that info

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sensazioneultra · 1 year

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man i'm so 😞 it's the last day of one of my coworkers

#she's kind and headstrong and full of life despite everything #and it's been sad to see her lose a bit of that liveliness in the last few months #i wish her all the best in the future :(#she wrote a really sweet message in the coworkers chat and i'm this close to crying #idk.. it's just sad. tho it's also nice to see how like #everyone really does support e/o and is kind and always ready to help #she said she was happy she found coworkers like us and that she knows she might not find such a genuinely nice and supportive environment #in her next workplace #and yeah i agree everyone is just v kind and ready to stay behind and help put stuff away or clean your desk if you're running a bit late #and we always laugh and joke around but also vent and encourage and #idk man #it's just a nice environment overall and i'm glad she could feel that too at least since the experience strictly work wise didn't work out #and i just feel very emotional #bc it's nice to find people who care and who don't want to bring you down but lift you up #it's sad it won't last forever for/with everyone and who knows how long it'll last for me #there's still so long til my contract expires but i do already worry about the after or if they'll renew it etc yeah it's early but #when you are so comfortable and feel good somewhere you worry that it won't last don't you. wait maybe you don't but i do #anyway like.. sorry i'm rambling but good luck c i hope your future is bright and you will find more good people along the way

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