#i'd explain more about them but that is too much blocks of text in one post hopefully i can do a part 2 to this someday

[roboyomo]

I'm enabling you now go go go

UOU. SIGNAL UNDERSTOOD. Time for the big kenix and azrael rant under the cut!!!

So to start off, I'll briefly explain Azrael as a character since Kenix technically already had a brief character explanation

Azrael is also one of the "7 Deadly Sins" crew, just like Kenix, with his assigned sin being Envy.

For Azrael's case, Envy would be represented by his failures. Specifically failing his original protecting duties as a soldier in his past life, now envious of 'he' from his fantasies who has succeeded to protect others. The fact that he failed many times to live up to the version of him who has it all, driving him absolutely crazy. And as he does not have any idea how to deal with these feelings of anger and guilt, he only starts to blame everyone else around who had it better than him. Anyone who has managed to live up to their goals, being incredibly envious of them, to the point of purposefully ruining their lives. Ruining what they had so they could experience the same misery he felt this entire time, until it backfired and got him killed instead. (he is in misery but he doesn't want to be drowned in it alone, so he brings others down with him). He has failed himself by not meeting his own expectations, so the thought that there is a version of him out there that has succeeded to meet those same expectations and is now living better than before... makes him want to curse the entire world. Being extremely jealous of anyone who had the great success he wanted originally, now pouring out his misery as revenge on others, just to see them fall down the same way his entire world shattered in his eyes. The same misery now being turned into the poison inside his body, using it as a weapon against his enemy in the Afterlife. Now living as a cursed being that is forever bound to this insufferable nature, he tries to keep mostly to himself after becoming the 4th in line to join the sins crew. No roaming around the land with no end in sight, no contact, no relationships — only him and himself.

That is until Kenix himself has taken interest in Azrael. The interest was ever so the same as it was for the previous members of the crew. Attempting to get on semi-friendly terms with the others that are now just as miserable as him deep inside, since aggravating them would nothing good to both parties and he is aware of how fucked everything is for all of them combined, having the "false" feeling of empathy for them. But Azrael intrigued him the most because of how much he felt that their anguish was similar in a way. Both of their worlds were shattered and took it out on others because they didn't know how to deal with their problems in a healthy way, Azrael's case just got more extreme than Kenix's, who has only took it out on his surronding enviroment, which was very limited ever since he was young (and additionally taking it out on some of the Original timeline crew members/"The Warriors" after he was in the Afterlife). It was then when the suppressed desperation to feel something resurfaced. The wish to know what a connection between people is, the wish to have even someone by his side that would accept him as the awful person he is now. That desperation slipping through the the cracks of his facade of carelessness for others, having no feelings of remorse for his actions — he knows he can't go on for long without any sort of human interaction, that would only drive him more insane and worsen his state which would lead to his end sooner than expected. Not only is it because he knows that there is a higher risk chance if he will forever cut off everyone from his life, it is own wish to have someone finally accept him that has been born from the years of loneliness and isolation. He wants to, he 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘵𝘰 find some sort of companion for his own sake, something he never thought could happen because he truly believed that he would be better off without anyone. He doesn't think that he could ever become better, but the thought that someone, whose just as awful as he is, would accept him as this very same awful being, made him feel something that he has never experienced (Is it hope?? Is it the desperation for affection?? Not even Kenix knows that)

And that's when Azrael comes in. Nothing about Azrael said that the interest was mutual, but Kenix didn't stop attempting to engage in a first conversation with him. Azrael, due to his nature and the decision to distance himself from others, didn't feel like it. In fact, he also felt like Kenix shouldn't be trusted so there was this constant need to be cautious around him. Something about that attitude, that smile, the manner of speaking Kenix has,,, threw him off a few times to be honest. But when Azrael tried to confront Kenix head on about why the one kept trying to get closer to him, Kenix would only make up a shallow lie that Azrael's gradient hair looked interesting. He could 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 ever admit out loud that he desperately longed for someone who understood him, admitting to that would be a sign of showing weakness — and that is prohibited when Kenix's first desire was about being powerful and seem powerful. Additionally, it is not like he would ever take "my carefully built facade is slowly breaking day by day and my true feelings and desperate wishes for human companionship and physical affection have been shown to someone that I thought would finally be the one to help me get through this agony" well. he would probably spiral and worsen everything about his mental state and sanity even more and that means that he would meet his demise sooner. which is unwanted as he still wants to have a chance at life — not the best one, but a life at the very least.

It is where their relationships starts to build off from that point. Azrael slowly starts to show more trust towards Kenix and that made Kenix have this sense of hope, the hope that Azrael will become the one person Kenix wished to have by his side until the end of time. Kenix undeniably always has been fascinated by Azrael and with each interaction, the fascination for him grew only bigger. From Azrael acting annoyed at Kenix for being too bothersome to sincerely enjoying each other's company. Starting all those nice conversations between them about anything they share as interests until Azrael one day decided to hold Kenix's hand without realizing it himself. He pretty much realized it only by seeing Kenix's puzzled face. That is when he found out that Kenix has... almost no concept of what physical affection is shown through. No grasp on the idea of what hand holding is, or no idea about any other displays of affection. Finding out about just how isolated Kenix was that he has no idea about how it feels to be hugged or hug someone else was just shocking to him. Which made him start being curious about what various displays of affection Kenix has no idea about. and is it not surprising that he doesn't know about most of it. this man's past is probably the definition of loneliness and he never knew what it was like to be loved or show love to others so pretty obvious that this stuff will puzzle him as it is just this new thing for him even if he wished for it for a long time.

Azrael just holding his hand actually made Kenix crave that feeling more (because of incredibly touch starved this man is). It is "I never knew of this sensation but please stay with me like this for just a few more minutes I'll provide us with all the time in the world to allow us to just stay closer together for a longer while" kind of craving (at this point he is not able to hide just how badly he needed someone next to him at all times)

Now Azrael is just showing this guy with some serious unaddressed issues™ what it is like to be loved and Kenix tries to show love back with what is left of his heart. Usually successful but sometimes it is just gifting something made out of someone else. it is not fun to hear the screaming of thousands because you wear this ring he gifted you. They have still committed atrocities but now they are able to accidentally "fix" each other without realizing it

#kenix has so many issues that he hides behind a facade it is unreal #he wouldn't even know how to tell if he has romantic feelings for anyone he has never experienced any of this and is therefore #clueless. at least he got someone to help him now #i'd explain more about them but that is too much blocks of text in one post hopefully i can do a part 2 to this someday #anyways. please consider them i hold them very dear to my heart for over a year now #kenix MIGHT be experiencing something more than just fascination for azrael. just a thought though #kenix's heart doesn't have much capacity for love but he can do his best if he tries #his ability to love has been destroyed ever since childhood afterall. it will take a while to restore it back #azrael is patient enough to let kenix get more comfortable about sharing his past with him #yomo ocs?! #yomoart

[obey-me-disaster]

Ohoho, I've come up with a fluffy idea and figured I'd come dump it on you because I am too lazy to write it myself. >:)

Various brothers have a tendency to fall asleep in MC's room or within their vicinity. One day MC manages to take off their shirt while they're alseep and draws all over their chest / shoulders/ stomach, this way its not so everyone can see and they dont get embarrassed. They write little poems + hearts + compliments + words of encouragement and "I love you!!" + "MC was here" written everywhere. After MC drew on them they put their shirt back on and went back to bed like nothing happened. Later the brother of MC's choice takes a shower / changes their clothes and finds MC's "artwork". How would they react?

This is so cute??! With the way some of them act like MC's room is their room this can very well happen.

This ask really got me out of the writer's block so I think I ended doing just a little bit more than you asked, hope you'll still enjoy it ^-^

Demon brothers x gn!MC

MC who writes cute messages on their body while they sleep

Lucifer

A/N: This was inspired by a chat with drunk Lucifer.

The likelihood of normal Lucifer falling asleep in MC's room is low. The chances of MC writing on his body are even lower. Drunk Lucifer on the other hand...

MC was just chilling in their room when Lucifer stumbled in. They knew he was drunk due to all the affectionate messages he has been sending them throughout the night but they were not expecting him to show up in their room.

MC rushed to check if he was alright but he merely brushed off their concerns saying he just wanted to see them before going to rest.

There was not much going through his head at the moment besides regretting the 'who can drink the most' bet with Diavolo and wanting to see MC before going to sleep. Between wanting to check up on them and trying to leave the room he wasn't sure when he ended up in their bed.

Maybe it was when MC insisted that they should give him some water before going to him, or it was when he decided to wait for them and ended up falling asleep.

By the time MC came back with a glass of water and a light snack he was fast asleep in their bed. Sighing MC put down the water and snack and went to cover him with a blanket. It wasn't everyday he got to rest and MC was sure as hell not going to wake him up.

As they approached they couldn't help but admire his features. He had a slight flush across his face, probably from the demonus he drank earlier, that made him look quite cute. Paired with the serene look on his face MC couldn't help but take a picture, it was not everyday the avatar of pride looked so relaxed, let alone sleep in their bed.

They wanted to let Lucifer know how much they loved him, how they wanted him to sleep in their room on other occasions, not only when he was drunk and of course, how cute he looked. At that moment, it was not possible, in the morning he may be hangover. If they leave a note about it he may not see it and sending him a text about it may have the same outcome so they settled on the only rational decision their brain could come up with at 3 am, writing on his body.

At first MC wanted to write on his hand, it would not fit all the things they wanted to write so they slowly pulled his shirt up. They looked over at him to be sure he won't wake up, they didn't want to explain why they were lifting up his shirt while sleeping.

Once they were sure he wouldn't wake up they begun to write various messages with little hearts along his torso. Once they were satisfied MC decided to climb in bed and go to sleep cuddled up to Lucifer.

By the time they woke up Lucifer was already gone, probably to avoid his brothers finding him in their room. Checking their phone they saw they got a message from Lucifer. He apologized for the trouble he caused so late into the night and told them to come into his room in order to thank them properly. MC started to wander if Lucifer will ignore the messages on his body or not. Even if he did, this whole incident started to become a habit for MC every time one of the brothers fell asleep in their room.

Meanwhile in Lucifer's room

He woke up not long after MC fell asleep besides him. It didn't take long for him to put two and two together and decided to leave before any of his brothers would barge in and start a ruckus.

In his room he started to undress so he could change into his pijamas when he saw something written on his torso. Going in front of the mirror he started to read all the sweet messages MC left on his body. He couldn't help but smile at the gesture. He snapped a quick photo of all the messages before deciding he should really make it up to them the next day. Who knows, he may end up sleeping in their room again just as they wished.

Mammon

When is he not in MC's room? He might as well move there with how much he stays there. His phone charger, some of clothes and other junk can be found in MC's room.

Tonight was no different. He was sitting in his bed complaining about Lucifer while MC was finishing up a project for school. He tried to convince them to stop doing homework and spend time with him but to no avail. Frustrated he tried to give them the silence treatment. In his mind MC would come and beg for him to talk with them and stop doing all the school work, it was a full proof plan in his head.

What he didn't take into account was the fact that he would fall asleep in MC's bed and how could he not. The bed was so warm and soft and had MC's scent all over it. Add the fact that he was not being entertained by MC and they get a Mammon fast asleep, holding one of their pillows.

After 5 minutes of silence MC went to check on him and sure enough, he was fast asleep. The scene was all too similar to the one time Lucifer fell asleep, fact that gave them an idea.

They grabbed a pencil and went to pull his shirt up. He moved in his sleep a few times and tried to grab at MC but they managed to get away. No need to get beaten by a sleeping Mammon the way Levi did in the past.

With enough space for writing MC went to work. Small doodles of money and hearts and a few messages about how much they love him. They also snuck the words 'great Mammon' and 'first' here and there but they were not very noticeable.

Being satisfied with their work, MC pulled down his shirt and went back to finish their school project. It would take a while for Mammon to wake, late alone to discover MC's little surprise.

When Mammon woke up in the morning he realized that his plan to make MC beg for attention failed miserably but even with the failed plan he couldn't get mad. MC was holding tightly onto him.

He stayed like that for a while, trying to savour the moment for as long as he could. He didn't think to get up until he could hear his stomach growl, at which point he decided it's time to get up.

He slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom attached to MC room to change his clothes and wash his face in order to freshen up.

When he took of his shirt he noticed something written all over his chest and stomach. At first he thought that some witch did something to him and was on the verge to go wake up MC when he noticed some little hearts from the corner of his eyes.

He pulled out his phones and took a photo of all the writing so he could finally take a proper look at the writing. When he started to slowly read all the cutesy messages written in gold from his chest and stomach he nearly dropped him phone right there and then.

He didn't know whatever to go wake up MC or not so he decided to do the most logical thing in his mind. Go to his room and start spaming their phone with messages. He tried to put on his usual tsundure attitude during their texts but it was clear he was over the moon about the whole thing.

He made sure not only to take a few more photos of himself with the stuff written by MC but to fall asleep in their room more often with a golden marker right next to him. he couldn't be more obvious

Leviathan

Levi is an introvert through and through. Being around crowds drains his energy and he has to spend some time alone in order to bounce back to his old self. But just because he likes to be alone from time to time in order to recharge his social battery it doesn't mean he likes being lonely.

He often goes to MC room and plays or watches something on his phone while MC does something else entirely. Just being in their presence was enough for him to not feel lonely anymore.

It was one of those night where his social battery was below zero but he really didn't want to be alone when he entered MC's room and went to sit on their bed. MC merely waved at him and went back to whatever they were doing.

They knew Levi would come into their room. Earlier that day Diavolo hosted a party which exhausted Levi to the core. They prepared for him some of their softest plushies they got from various brothers for him to hold.

When they first begun to do this Levi was afraid it would get awkward. Sitting in silence and doing different things seemed like a recipe for disaster but it turned out completely fine. It made their bond stronger, Levi could swear his intimacy level for MC went up.

Levi made himself comfortable and started to collect all his daily logins from numerous gacha games from his phone. The only time anyone spoke was when MC asked if he wanted some snacks but they were met with silence. They softly asked again in case Levi didn't hear them but they got the same response.

They went to check on him only to discover that he has fallen asleep while holding his phone. MC couldn't help but go grab their phone so they could take a picture. It was the first time Leviathan felt comfortable enough to fall asleep in their room. Once they were satisfied with the number of photos they took they went to grab a dark purple pen to start writing on him. They already did that to his older brothers, it might as well become a tradition of sorts.

Pulling his shirt up was definitely way easier of a task to do than they thought. The hard part came when they started to write. Apparently Levi was quite ticklish so he would squirm every time MC's been would be tracing anything on his chest, torso and shoulders. They wrote various references to romance anime that they have watched and the inside jokes between them. They tried to draw a small ruri chan too but didn't come out too well. Once they were satisfied they pulled his shirt down and let him continue his nap.

By the time he woke MC was no longer in the room but they did leave him a note saying that they went to out to buy something. Seeing as he was alone he took it as his chance to leave since he felt pretty embarrassed for falling asleep like that.

It wasn't until later that night, when he was preparing to take a bath that he noticed all the writing. He quickly went to a mirror and when he saw all the messages left by MC he nearly fainted right there and then. He felt like the protagonist of some romantic anime, or even beyond that since he has never seen a scene like that in anything that he has watched.

Even when he would try to deny that MC felt like that about him, those thoughts would quickly go away as he would stare down at the proof that MC truly love him.

He stood for quite a few minutes, thinking on the best way to preserve all of this when he realized that MC, in order to leave all the cute notes and doodles, would have had to lift up his shirt . That was the last thing he thought about before his brain started to malfunction.

Satan

Whenever Satan would feel angry at something and needed a way to calm down he would either go read a book, pet some cats, take his anger out on something in the forest or go stay in MC's presence. This situation was quite similar to Levi's, where he would go to MC's room just to spend time together in silence, while they would do different things.

And in the same way MC would prepare some plushies or snacks for Levi, they would prepare tea or sneak a cat in the HOL. While Satan reading in the presence of MC wasn't a rare thing, him coming into their room to read in order to calm down didn't happen too often. As much as Satan appreciates MC looking out for him and enjoys the small things they do for him, he wouldn't want to be angry in their presence too often. Especially during the times when he feels he doesn't have that much control over his emotions.

This time tho, it wasn't that bad. He couldn't say he felt truly angered, just annoyed at how badly the day went for him. When he entered MC's room they immediately could tell why he came, so they welcomed him in and excused themself to go bring some tea for him and something to drink for themself.

He really couldn't thank then enough for all the things they do for him, so he just figured he would think of a way to surprise them once he is fully calm.

After MC came back with their drinks, both of them settled in a comfortable silence, doing their own thing. This went on for a while and before he could even realize, he fell asleep while hugging the book.

Being used to this by now, the gently took the book from his hands and put it on their, making sure to put a bookmark on whatever page Satan was on. After making sure everything was out of the way they grabbed their phone to snap a few pictuers of him and a marker and went to work.

While lightly lifting up his shirt wasn't that hard, MC got stuck on what to write for him. They made sure to write something unique for each brother and they wanted to do something like that for Satan too. Sure, they could draw a cat and make some cat puns, but Satan's range of interests went way beyond his love for felines.

A shiver from Satan snapped MC out of their throughts. If they kept his shirt up for too long he would wake up from feeling cold, so they had to act quickly. They started to think of all the love poems they heard Satan talk about and quickly searched for them on their DDD. While these wouldn't exactly be MC's words they would still carry the same sentiment.

As they start writing down various small love poems, MC made a mental note to actually think of one for the next time this happens. After thet made sure everything was written down, they made a small drawing of a kitten and pulled down his shirt.

When Satan woke up he was none the wiser about the surprise MC prepared for him under his shirt. He apologized for falling asleep like that and excused himself to go back to his room. All of his brothers could tell that he left MC's bedroom so much calmer than when he went in.

He went straight into his room to take a shower so he could properly go to bed after as he still felt quite tired despite the nap that he took. As he was about to step in the shower he noticed the writing across his chest and stomach.

As he went in front of a mirror to read he quickly recognized both the writing and the poems across his body. Those were all poems that Satan has talked about or from poets he has showed to MC. Across his chest there was a small message that said 'Despite them not being my words they carry the same sentiment. Next time I will come up with something just for you.'

If he, by some slim chance was still angry, this would have gotten rid of any and all negative emotions. He made sure to carefully read all the poems. He already knew them by heart, but since this was MC's hard work, it would be a shame to not appreciate it. He really had to come up with something to express his gratitude to MC as fast as he could.

Asmodeus

Sleep overs between MC and Asmodeus happened quite often. Sometimes they were planned well ahead, sometimes they were on the spur of the and this one was of the latter kind. Both of them came back from a party and since neither of them felt like going on their seprate ways, they decided to have a sleep over in MC's room.

The first part of their sleep over was just taking of any make up and accessories they bad followed by changing into their pijamas. While in theory it may sound like this would be done in 10 minutes, it took them an hour, or at least it took Asmo an hour to officialy be done.

He would have been done way faster but he kept on stopping to tell MC about the latest gossip he heard. By the time he was finished getting into his pijamas he was beyond exhausted. All the hype from that party that kept him awake was gone and replaced with need to cuddle up to MC and fall asleep.

He wanted to stay awake and talk with MC a little bit more but he knew all too well that his body was drained from all the partying. Despite slowly falling asleep, he continued to tell MC about the latest drama his fans caused while holding their hand.

When his breathing became even and he stopped from talking, MC saw it as their chance to get up from bed and get a pen ready. They made sure to pick a glitter pink pen just for him. MC made quick work of his shirt, it was honestly shocking he was wearing clothes at all since he likes to sleep all natural. They started to write as many cutesy messages and draw hearts all over him. Asmo would softly laugh in his sleep here in there, probably being tickled by MC writing on his skin.

Once they have deemed that they wrote enough messages MC put the glitter pen away and went back to sleep, this time cuddling Asmo properly.

When morning came Asmo got out of bed way earlier than MC and went back to his bedroom so he could start his skin care routine which would take a while. Before all of that, he wanted to take a bath first in order to relax, but as he undressed he noticed something across his body.

He went to one of his many mirrors and started to admire MC's handiwork. He tried to recall to any time MC showed signs of being into body writing but he couldn't recall any specific moment. He couldn't wait to show MC his appreciation for their little surprise but before that he had to make sure to take a ton of pictures of himself with the writing on him to share on Devilgram. he lowkey started a new trend

Beelzebub

Since MC's room was right next to the kitchen, Beel would often end up in their bedroom in the middle of the night after one of his late snacks and this time was no exception.

After having his fill more like emptying the fridge he decided to pass by MC's room since he felt like seeing them. He slowly opened the door,as to not wake them only to find out they were wide awake, watching a movie. Since he was already there MC invited him over to watch the movie with them and share some of their snacks.

Beel didn't need to be told twice and immediately crossed the room and went to sit next to them on the bed. As the movie went on and the snacks started to disappear, he could feel himself starting to fall asleep. With MC right next to him and with the room being mostly dark, it made it easy for him to fall asleep.

The only reason MC noticed that the demon besides fell asleep was from hearing him snoring. It made for quite the cute and MC decided to play with his hair. As their hand reached his head, Beel grabbed their hand and started to lightly nibble at it.

Quickly MC retracted their hand and got up to pick on of their pens. They were no longer in the mood to finish the movie so they figured it was just the right moment to write something on Beel.

MC gently lifted up Beel's shirt and tried to avoid being grabbed by the sleeping demon. They took a moment to admire his body. It was far from being the first time seeing him like but MC still couldn't help but take a moment to appreciate his body. Since he was the biggest out of all the brothers ment that MC had more space to write all sorts of compliments and words of encouragement. After making sure that his chest and abs were covered in all sorts of messages and small doodles, MC pulled down his shirt and went to sleep like nothing happened.

In morning Beel woke up and left the room while MC was still soundly asleep. He felt bad for falling asleep during the movie, but decided to think of a way to make it up to MC after his morning work out.

When he entered his bedroom he went straight into changing himself into some clothes ment for working out. As he took his shirt off he noticed there was something not only across his chest but across his stomach too. At first he thought he got some food on him from raiding the fridge but when he looked closer he realized there were words written on him.

He took a picture of them and started to read. It didn't take him long to realize it was MC's doing so he didn't waste any second and went back to in their room so he could express how happy he was to wake up with all those compliments on him. He didn't bother to put his shirt back on, there was no need to cover up MC's little surprise for him. imagine waking up by a shirtless beel picking you up in order to hug

Belphegor

MC's room is one, if not his favourite places to sleep in. Not only did he get to sleep surrounded by their scent, but if he got lucky he would get to sleep all cuddled up to MC. It was a win in his book no matter what.

To MC's dismay, he doesn't always announce his presence, so there were quite a few times where MC sat right on top of him without meaning to. To make matters even more difficult for MC, the bastard would require them to cuddle him in order to make up for the hurt that they have caused. If MC didn't know any better, they would think he was doing it on purpose.

Because of that, MC got in the habit to check if there was anyone in their bed before even thinking of trying to get on it. While the habit was a bit weird it finally payed off. There he was, the avatar of sloth in all of his beauty, sleeping and hugging close to his chest one of MC's plushies.

He looked quite adorable in his sleep. you wouldn't believe he was capable of murdering you MC tried to gently shake him awake but he wouldn't budge so they just gave up on the idea all together.

Since it looked he was not going to wake up MC went to pick one of their pens. In a way it was quite ironic that the person that sleeps the most in their room was the last one to get compliments written on him.

MC moved his body so that he would lie on his back. It turned out to be way easier than they would have expected. It honestly felt like Belphie himself moved so MC would have an easier time writing on him.

Lifting his shirt they started by drawing small constellations here and there, followed by some compliments and other cute messages they could think of.

Once satisfied with their work MC tried to get up from the bed when a hand suddenly grabbed. When they looked down they saw Belphie having one of his most insufferable smirks on his face.

At that moment the realization finally hit MC and made them feel quite silly for forgeting such an important detail. Belphie is often aware of what is happening around him while he is sleeping. That's the only reason he has grades high enough to rivale Satan despite doing nothing but sleep during classes. That also explains why he was so easy to move around a few minutes prior.

It was too late to be having regrets tho. MC was being held thightly by Belphegor and they just knew they are about to be teased relentlessly by him.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me x mc #obey me x reader #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer x mc #obey me mammon x reader #obey me mammon x mc #obey me leviathan x mc #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x mc #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus x mc #obey me beelzebub x mc #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me belphegor x mc

[imaginecolby]

Friends with Benefits || Part Six - The Scare

"y/n, i cannot believe you are still coming to work." your friend said to you as you were returning to your office after your lunch break.

"i used up so much of my PTO at christmas, i'm trying to accumulate some more so i can have some extra time for my maternity leave." you laughed as you sat back down at your desk.

"you're better than me. i would've been out of here as soon i could." they laughed. they returned to their desk, and you got back to work.

a few hours passed, and you were making your way through the day like normal. returning emails, making phone calls to clients, putting out fires in the department you oversaw. everything was going as well as you would've expected. until it wasn't.

all of a sudden, you felt the beginning of a contraction.

"oh no, mister man. it is too early for you to be coming." you groaned through gritted teeth. you coaxed yourself through the contraction, and is passed after about a minute. you went on about your day for another few hours, before you felt the pain return. you paced your office, which seemed to help contraction go away. after about the third or fourth occurrence, you figured you needed to call your doctor.

"i'd recommend you come in and be seen. i have an open appointment in twenty that you can take." your doctor said to you over the phone.

"perfect. i will be there." you said to them. you luckily were able to get a ride from a friend, and your doctor's office was only a few blocks from your job. you text colby while you were on your way, and let him know what was going on.

"i'm sure they're just braxton hicks, but my doctor just wants me to come in for some monitoring for a little bit. i'm on my way to the hospital now." your message read.

"i will be there as soon as i can." he replied. you pulled into the hospital parking lot, thanking your friend for the ride. you checked in and were immediately taken to a room. you waited just a few minutes before your doctor came in, explaining that they wanted to monitor your vitals, as well as your baby's.

after about twenty minutes, there was a knock on the door. you called for them to come in, and colby fell through the door.

"y/n! is everything okay?" he sighed, falling to the floor next to your bed.

"yes. everything is okay." you said, brushing his hair back from his forehead. "geez, did you run over here?" you teased, wiping his sweat from your hand.

"practically." he laughed awkwardly. just then, your doctor came back into the room.

"alright you two, or should i say three," they paused to take a seat. "everything is still as great as your last check up. baby boy is just getting a little impatient in there."

"are we at the point of bed rest yet?” you asked.

"not quite. i do recommend taking it easy, so you're not overly stressed. but not complete bed rest." they advised.

"okay. i can do that. work isn't too busy at the moment, so fingers crossed it stays that way." you said, rubbing your belly.

"perfect. let's get you set up to head home." your doctor said to you. you collected all of your things, got your discharge paperwork, and headed home. fortunately, your work day was almost done, so you didn't miss to much of your day.

you were in contact with your boss as soon as you got home to work out a plan for a lighter work load, and potentially starting your maternity leave sooner. they were fortunately very accommodating for your needs, it was lucky that you had such a good relationship with them.

once you got back to work, you were mainly working half days for the last month and a half leading up to your maternity leave. on your last day of work, your coworkers threw you a small baby shower for your last day. 

“i cannot believe you all did this for me. this is all too much.” you said through tears, as you continued opening your gifts. 

“you deserve it! we love you and we cant wait to meet your little one. we wish you and colby luck, and are sending you all the congratulations in the world.” one of them said to you.

“did i hear my name?” you heard a familiar voice ask. you turned and saw colby walking into the conference room where your festivities were being held. 

“what are you doing here!?” you asked gleefully, getting up to walk greet him. you gave him a hug and pressed a quick to his lips.

“oh, you know i never miss a good party.” he teased. “no, f/n text me and told me you were gonna need some help carrying things to the car.” he said.

as the shower was winding down, colby began taking things to the car, meticulously packing everything as to not damage any of the gifts. you thanked your friends again, gathering up the leftover food to take home. you made your way out to the parking garage to meet colby, walking with a few of your friends, the ones that actually planned the event. you thanked them profusely again for the shower, and for all the gifts. 

once you got home, you helped colby as much as you could with helping bringing in the gifts. once they were all inside, you began to unpack and clean up, placing them around your home in the places where they would be most used. you had so many blankets, clothes, toys and bottles. your baby was going to be well outfitted for his best life.

you stood in his nursery, which was finally all put together. colby had spent numerous hours in this room, putting together the crib, the dresser, and all the other furniture. he’d arranged it wonderfully, and you couldn’t believe how much this room had changed from your boring guest room. you stood there lost in thought for a while, before they were interrupted by colby’s voice.

“hey, there you are. you okay?” he asked, wiping away a stray tear from your cheek.

“yeah,” you said softly. “now that im out of work, it’s really starting to set in. in a few weeks, we’re gonna have a baby.” you said, rubbing your belly.

“i still can’t wrap my mind around it. seeing you grow every day has been so mind blowing, and seeing how big he’s gotten on his ultrasounds. it’s been kinda crazy.” colby laughed, placing his hand on yours on your belly. “but im excited.”

“me too.” you said, smiling up at him. he kissed you softly before leaning down to press a kiss to your belly. you couldn’t believe you were coming up on the end of your pregnancy, but you really were excited. especially knowing that you had colby on your side. you made a great team, and you knew you were gonna raise a wonderful kid.

#colby brock #colby brock imagine #colby brock fanfic #colby brock fanfiction #colby brock imagines #colby brock x reader #fwb

[peopleiveghosted]

anti-hero is not "overrated" it's actually just that good, an essay of sorts

so. earlier today, i was talking to myself (as you do), and while pacing my sister's living room floor, my imaginary conversation partner had some Bad Opinions about taylor swift's "anti-hero". and i was so mad at myself for not being able to immediately put to words why this song deserves all its hype, is a lyrical masterpiece, and means a lot to me, that i immediately sat down and almost gave myself carpal tunnel while typing out this line-by-line analysis of its lyrics. nothing i say could ever be as eloquent or well-put as the lyrics themselves, but nevertheless, in case anyone needs to be validated in how much they love this song, or doesn't understand why this song is such a hit with so many people, here it is. here goes.

-

VERSE 1

I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser

bam. open with an absolute BANGER of a line. this line does one of the things that taylor does best, which is flipping a well-used and overly trite phrase on its head. how many times have i heard the phrase "older and wiser"? and how many times have people told me that those who are older don't actually have their lives together, don't actually know what they're doing any more than i do, and that they're just as lost no matter how much more "life experience" they have? this line also sets up the theme of feeling like you'll never learn, and continuing down a road to ruin because you don't know how to do anything else, which becomes very prevalent throughout the song

Midnights become my afternoons

line 2 continues along the same vein of flipping things on their head. older doesn't equal wiser, midnights are actually afternoons. the theme of the album comes in (things that keep her up at night). in plain words: she's wide awake at midnight

When my depression works the graveyard shift / All of the people I've ghosted stand there in the room

okay i really didn't want to say "cmon. it's self-explanatory." but CMON. IT'S SELF-EXPLANATORY. that's a fucking GENIUS LINE must i REALLY explain it? if i MUST, it's following the last line (about how she's wide awake in the middle of the night) to say that her depression is what's keeping her up, and when her depression keeps her up, the people she's "ghosted" (if you're not a native english speaker/are unfamiliar with the colloquial definition of this word, it means to avoid/ignore someone, often with no explanation. not replying to texts, ignoring them on social media, not answering their calls, blocking them, etc.) are like actual ghosts, haunting her, standing there and watching her with accusatory gazes in the middle of the night. aka she cant sleep because she's thinking about all the people she's hurt or cut off in the past.

-

PRE-CHORUS 1

I should not be left to my own devices / They come with prices and vices / I end up in crisis (Tale as old as time)

okay. quadruple rhyme? all right, taylor, i see you. spitting fire. continuing the story from the first verse, she's by herself (left to her own devices) and going down a late-night spiral, and when she's left to her own thoughts bad things happen. and i'd argue the second part of the line (they come with prices and vices) is ambiguous in who she hurts. the last part (I end up in crisis) implies she's the one hurting herself when she's left to her own thoughts, but "prices and vices" doesn't say who's paying the price (her or the people around her?) and when someone gives into their vices, they often hurt their loved ones too. this line is mainly about self-destructive tendencies, late-night spiraling, bad thoughts, the consequences of bad thoughts, but i'd also say that combined with the fact that it immediately follows "all of the people i've ghosted" this line is also about how she's self-aware of all the people she's hurt. and that's the source of her "crisis" (though, of course, it could be a nod to 'existential crisis' which has become a phrase that's well known amongst our generation). "Tale as old as time" --- she's not special. everyone has experienced this. but also, she's done this so many times, but she never learns (gotten older, but not wiser)

I wake up screaming from dreaming / One day, I'll watch as you're leaving / 'Cause you got tired of my scheming (For the last time)

ANOTHER QUADRUPLE RHYME. here enters the elusive "you" she's addressing. they seem to be a partner, or at least someone very close to her. the idea of taylor "scheming" or being a mastermind/manipulator is one that's existed in media and is acknowledged/addressed throughout this album, but even within the context of just this song, it nods to the fact that she likes to overthink, is anxious and overplans, stays up all night. she's obsessive, and she thinks she'll end up alone because of it (meeeeeeeeeeeeee)

-

CHORUS

It's me, hi / I'm the problem, it's me

memeable. catchy. a very simple line, but that's what makes it such a gut-punch. the epitome of what someone who literally can't sleep at night because of things they've done or at least think they've done says to themselves

At teatime, everybody agrees

she's imagining everyone she knows over afternoon tea talking about how she's the problem and how they hate her. i have also done this. i think most people who are anxious, especially socially anxious, have wondered if everyone actually secretly hates them, and are just too polite to say so to their face.

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

another "c'mon it's self-explanatory" line. my jaw literally dropped when i first heard this line. she'd rather blind herself, hurt herself by staring directly at the sun, than face her own reflection. she can't bear to look at herself. self-loathing at its peak

It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

this can very easily be read as taylor talking to her fans: it must be so hard being my fan, when i'm the "anti-hero" aka someone who lacks all the traditionally heroic attributes. but in other words, outside the specific context of taylor and her fandom, this line can read as "i'm the opposite of everything people like or want to champion. it must be so much work, loving someone like me."

-

VERSE 2

Sometimes, I feel like everybody is a sexy baby

"sexy baby" is meant to be an oxymoron here. she thinks everyone but her has found out how to be both "sexy" (mature, attractive, confident) and a "baby" (innocent, young, blameless). knowing taylor, it's likely specifically a nod to the stereotypically (but not necessarily exclusively!) female experience of having to be both sexy but not too sexy as to be a slut. you have to have it, but not flaunt it. you have to be physically mature (have that hourglass figure, tits and ass, etc., and be aware enough of it to know how to look good but not TOO good) but mentally pure (like a child, untouched by the world, not jaded, still full of wonder despite everything). i've heard people say this line makes them feel uncomfortable, because the idea of "sexy babies" is weird and off-putting to them, but that's kind of the point. it's an uncomfortable idea because it shouldn't exist and mixes two concepts (sexiness and babies) that people don't often put together, thereby showing how society puts an impossible, unnatural, and perverse double standard on people (particularly women).

And I'm a monster on the hill / Too big to hang out, slowly lurching toward your favorite city

she thinks she's the opposite of the idealized "sexy baby" expectation that, in this moment, she imagines everyone else has managed to achieve. she's just this big monster. "too big" to me clearly speaks to body image issues. and it might be easy to be like "it's taylor swift, what does she know about body image issues?" but that's like. kinda part of why this line hits? even taylor swift has these problems. and the image of something large and unsightly and inelegant, moving in such a way that's more like "lurching" and coming to destroy everything you love…and the fact that that's how she sees herself, at least in this moment? more self-loathing, obviously. that's the theme of the song

Pierced through the heart, but never killed

continuing the monster metaphor. she's the monster, so people attack her, and it hurts. it pierces her straight in the heart. but it never kills her. and in the movies, in this story, people always want the monster to die. the monster is the antagonist. so not only does she have to live through and suffer this pain, this pain that pierces her straight through the heart, she thinks no one wants her to live, that no one's on her side, that no one's cheering for her. she's attacked over and over, but she always gets back up, and that's a bad thing, because she's the monster. her efforts to keep going is to the detriment to everyone/everything around her, she's a blight just for existing.

-

PRE-CHORUS 2

Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism / Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)

triple rhyme! sorry for constantly pointing the obvious out, but it amazes me that not only does she manage to eloquently state these complex ideas in very few words, but she manages to rhyme at the same time. i'm so bad at rhyming, so this just blows my mind, even if here the last one is more of a slant rhyme. it's still close enough to work and be satisfying. the opening words are "did you hear" which again, refers to how she's imagining what everyone must be saying about her. and the covert narcissism that's actually altruism? like…i have this exact fear. "am i really altruistic/a good person? or am i only pretending to be a good person because i'm a narcissist who wants praise and attention, only doing it because it looks good to other people rather than out of any innate goodness (like a congressman just trying to win an election)?"

I wake up screaming from dreaming / One day, I'll watch as you're leaving / And life will lose all its meaning (For the last time)

she has a fear of losing that important person and having nothing left. and this time, she won't survive it. following the second verse, to me it also means that she won't get back up this time, it's the end of the line, the monster will finally be slain (and isn't that what everyone wants anyway?)

-

CHORUS 2 (repeat)

BRIDGE

I have this dream my daughter-in-law kills me for the money She thinks I left them in the will The family gathers 'round and reads it and then someone screams out "She's laughing up at us from Hell"

okay this part actually took me quite awhile to figure out. but once i got it, it absolutely destroyed me.

i (me, the person writing this analysis) have these things i call "fear fantasies." basically, if you think of a nightmare (a bad dream you have while sleeping) and a daydream (a happy thing you imagine while ur awake), then a "fear fantasy" is a nightmare/daydream where you're awake, but your mind just spirals into this nightmare of an overly-specific, self-punishing, weirdly gleefully masochistic imagining where something terrible happens to you or someone around you. i feel like a lot of people with anxiety will know exactly what i'm talking about. but if you're lucky enough to not count as one of those people, just know this: some people spin stories of worst-case scenarios in their head that are highly specific, highly unlikely, and very terrible for no decipherable reason other than perhaps self-torture and an inexplicable craving for suffering and self-punishment. it's irrational, hard to explain, and mostly, not under our control. it just happens.

that's what she's describing here, though she does describe it as a "dream" instead of a "daydream" so it's not an exact match with my "fear fantasies". basically, she has this dream, and it's a dream where she hypothesizes about something terrible happening. it's overly-dramatized, probably unrealistic, definitely a case of catastrophizing. in fact, in the music video, she plays it for laughs, like she's making fun of her own imagination. but in actuality, when she's imagining it in the middle of the night, or dreaming, it probably feels very real.

and what is that worst-case scenario?

the worst-case scenario isn't even that her family hates her so much they kill her because all they really want is her money. it's the idea that that's all that will be left of her legacy, which she didn't even bequeath to anyone, because she lived knowing she was unloved and hated. "what if, after everything i've achieved, it all amounts to nothing because i have no one to share it with? and what if that was my fault? what if, at the end of it all, i have nothing left in me but my spite, so i die hated by everybody while hoarding my money?" it's not just "what if i had a daughter-in-law that hated me" it's "i put no one in my will out of spite, because i hated them too, i was the problem, and maybe even, i deserved to be killed for being so horrible and petty, and so, my death is not a cause for grief, and my only revenge is their outrage." it's "my existence is one that's so loveless that all i can breed is hatred, amongst those closest to me and within myself." it's "i'm so profoundly lonely, and i can't think of a reason for why i'm so alone except that something must be very wrong with me, but i don't know what it is or if it's even possible to fix it, so i'm just going to lie here and imagine what the end of such an existence would look like: ugly, nothing but petty drama, inconsequential, ultimately forgettable, and full of hate, just like the rest of me."

-

and then the song begins to wind down with the breakdown of "it's me, hi, i'm the problem it's me" repeated over and over until she hisses "everybody agrees, everybody agrees" just to drive home that idea of literally everyone hating her, including herself.

and finally, the chorus one more time. ending with "it must be exhausting, always rooting for the anti-hero" aka, as i said, "it must be so hard, to love me" (which is why no one does, not even myself)

#taylor swift #swiftie #anti-hero #midnights #lyrics #lyrical analysis #song analysis #meta #clod wishes she could shut up #i might do this for my other favorite taylor song #which is my tears ricochet #i cannot decide which of these two is my favorite taylor song #maybe after i write out a complete analysis of both i'll be able to decide #or maybe not #my post #hashtag not projecting at all #clearly i am Unwell #and im not saying that's taylors fault #but she DID write the song /j

[hyunnieshannie]

Ex

Chapter 1: 'Will you marry me?' Pairing: Han Jisung x Fem. Reader Word Count: 5,405 General Synopsis: Your ex? Shitty. Your family? Worse. Your best friend? Left for a tour in the middle of one of the worst times of your life. How are you meant to deal with planning what should have been your wedding, dealing with your family, and pretending like you're not falling apart all on your own? General Warnings: Idol!Jisung, mentions of other Idols (P1Harmony/Seventeen), all views on these idols are purely fictional. Idol AU. Mentions of cheating, mentions of smoking and drug use (weed and cigarettes), Mentions of drinking, angst, self esteem issues, depression. Y/N is older than Jisung. (I'm sorry for the jokes that come out of this) (any tags I missed please feel free to let me know! More tags to be added as the story goes on.) ⤵ A/N: Truthfully, two days ago I had a thought about a conversation that would be held between best friends, and at first I brushed it off but the next day it kept going. So I wrote it down thinking not much would come from it but as I started writing I couldn't stop and all of a sudden three chapters for this fic was written out. I tried to proof read it but I don't really have many people I'd have sent it to for a bit of help so bear with my writing. I sincerely hope you enjoy this. Welcome to "Ex" (im sorry for the cheesy amount of times i mention skz songs thaaaaanks)

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“Will you marry me?” The question was sudden, and you felt your heart clench as he knelt there on one knee clutching a beautiful rose gold ring with a large princess cut diamond placed delicately on the top. You looked at it, you looked at him; biting back the tears you desperately wanted to cry out. This was something you had dreamed of for years, and in any other circumstance you’d have been one of the happiest people in the world. But no. Not today. Today you felt nothing but the sadness and anger that boiled within you.

“Yes!” Your sister Leah exclaims, she was overwhelmed with happiness and though you thought you’d have moved on  from it all. It’d only been six months and part of you believed this was all too soon. He’d only left you seven months ago. Left you for someone you considered the closest person to you, your best friend at that. At first during the breakup, as he explained why he was leaving, you were hurt and angry; you shut everyone out, blocking your sister, your absolute best friend out of your life completely, but after that initial pain passed and many nagging texts from your family; you realized you could not control who people fall in love with. He started dating her a month after and now six months later he knelt there asking her the question you once thought he would be asking you. You had waited five years to hear that question leave his lips, but it never came. Instead it came seven months after your breakup to your sister that he’d only been with for half a year. You walked out of the dinner after that. Congratulating them with a fake smile, swallowing the thick lump in your throat as you choked out a simple ‘I’m happy for you two’ as they stood beaming at each other, before being dragged away by the rest of their guests. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“You’re smoking again,” your roommate Keeho sighs, his blue hair blowing softly in the wind as he wrapped his arms around himself to shield his body from the cold of the midnight air. He slowly made his way to you as you leaned against the railing staring off into the forest that lined your backyard. “What happened tonight?” He asks softly as he leans forwards against the railing joining you in the act of blankly staring out. Lifting the cigarette to your mouth and holding it between your teeth, inhaling slowly, holding the smoke in as it burns the back of your throat; before exhaling it all from your lungs slowly. 

“He proposed.” You mumble, Keeho’s head drops, shaking it lightly. 

“And then?” 

“And then I said congratulations, and left.” you sigh. Keeho wasn’t usually one for talking about the dramas of life. Typically he’d move on with a smile, or a joke. But tonight it seems he wanted nothing more than to hear your true thoughts about the situation, 

“A little soon is it not?” He asks, as he runs his hand through his hair standing straight and turning his attention from the forest to you. “You okay?” 

“I shouldn’t have gone,” 

“No, Y/N you went because your family asked you. If they knew it was going to happen they should have warned you!” he says, 

“When have they ever cared about how I felt? The only reason I started talking to them again is because my own family told me I was being selfish.” you mutter, Keeho stares blankly at you. He didn’t know they’d forced you back into their lives, how could he when all you’d told him was ‘no one controls who they love, I shouldn't hold it against them.’ 

“Jeonghan’s a fucking dick anyways, I never liked him.” Keeho says as he wraps his arm around your shoulder, “He was a little prick, and he hurt my best friend.” he hugs you tightly, 

“Ke-” 

“Don’t ‘Keeho’ me. You know I'm right.”  he sighs, 

“In that case, Stephen Yoon, do not say those kinds of things, he wasn’t all bad and you know it too.” 

“Woah woah woah there buddy there's no need to be sassy and, government name me!” He laughs. Even though he hadn’t said much, Keeho always seemed to make you happy when you were upset simply by being present. He never failed to make you laugh, and despite not being much said he still managed to make you feel just a bit better about the whole situation. You let out a small sigh as the cigarette burns the tip of your fingers, its embers slowly reaching its filter as you watch it slowly burn out. “I know,” Keeho whispers, “I know.” 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

As you lay in bed you stare up at the ceiling, thinking of memories you hope that one day will be forgotten and fade along with the rest. You wondered if Jeonghan had always felt this way towards your sister, and wondered just how long he’d been in love with her. Had they secretly gotten together while you were still with him? Had they spoken of their love for one another behind your back? You’d never asked, and simply accepted the fact he no longer loved you, and continued about your life. Your brain tries to process each thought carefully, but your heart can’t help but ache as you remember the good times with him. The times he’d taken you to fancy dinners, or the aquarium dates you loved so much. How he’d wake up in the morning with a smile on his face and kiss you softly. You missed him, but now there was nothing you could do but force a smile and say that you were okay, that everything was fine. You knew in a matter of days someone would message you, someone would reach out. But not to check on you, but rather to ask about wedding details. Details you wanted nothing to do with but, she’s your sister. And thus it is your responsibility to suck it up and help her plan if that’s what she wanted. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The night came and went. And you slept awfully. Too many thoughts wracked your brain to be able to sleep calmly at all. You spent the night twisting and turning in bed as terrible dreams haunted you. You wouldn’t go as far as to call them nightmares but, you definitely did not enjoy them. “Y/N/N!” Keeho calls from the living room, “Y/N/N wake up!” he yells again. You groan as you force yourself out of bed, wandering out into the hallway as you rub your eyes to clear the morning haze.

“What Keeho, I’m busy!” You groan, finally walking into the living room. Keeho laughs loudly as you enter the room, his speaker loud playing music as he prances around the room holding a bowl of strawberries. 

“Busy? What moping in bed? Not on my watch babe,” he laughs, “We have plans!” 

“Plans?” 

“Yes, we’re going out, I’m not letting you get all sad again, not this time!” He smiles, you know he’s just trying to make you feel better. After the break up you had moved out of Jeonghan and your shared apartment, and Keeho took you in. Keeho’s old roommate had moved out and he was in need of another, luckily you were available. So he helped you pack up and move in. But directly after you moved in you fell into a depression. Being in a relationship for five years, moving in with him and living together for three years just for all of it to come crashing down harshly around you throwing you into a violent depression. You didn’t leave your room for weeks. Keeho, having been one of your best friends for years, did what he could to cheer you up but unfortunately, nothing seemed to help. So he did what was best and gave you time, while simultaneously reminding you that you had a support system. Him and his group. After about two weeks of sulking you began to feel better, not completely yourself again but good enough to leave your room. The second Keeho saw you his instinct was to hug you, bringing you into his warm embrace, before laughing and telling you that you were in desperate need of a makeover. And so he did everything he could to continue giving you distractions from the unfortunate events that had transpired.

 He took you shopping, to get your makeup done, he did everything in his power to make sure you felt beautiful, cared for, loved and most importantly; distracted. This time was different, he wasn’t giving you time to wallow in the depression that was your sister marrying the man you thought was your soulmate. In Keeho’s head it was best to start distracting you before you became depressed, because nothing broke his heart more than seeing his best friend sad, and nothing made him angrier than the thought of not being able to tell how shit of a boyfriend Jeonghan really was before everything happened. But it wasn’t his fault, he didn’t know Jeonghan would hurt you so badly, and when it came forward of what he had done, and why. Keeho found no issue with dropping his friend. They weren’t the closest of friends anyways, and you were much more important than (in his opinion) some dick head who couldn’t see the rarity that was you. “Go on you gremlin, get changed!” he huffed. 

Reluctantly you spun on your heels, and marched back into your room. Quickly picking out a comfortable outfit, and loosely tying your hair up without a real care for your current appearance, unfortunately for you when you opened the door Keeho stood there with his arms crossed, and a disapproving look. 

“I knew you’d do this, for god's sake Y/N do I need to do everything myself?” he frowns as he pushes past you entering your room. “JESUS, Could you be any more of a hermit?” he laughs as he draws the blinds letting the light from the late morning sun seep into the room. He opens the closet door, and rummages for a few moments before pulling out a black hoodie, and a pair of black skinny jeans, “If you want to be comfortable thats fine but whatever the fuck you’re wearing right now, aint it babe.” You stare blankly at him, before he wanders his way into your bathroom; pulling at a few accessories and placing them down on your night stand. An indication that he’d like you to wear them with the outfit he’d picked out. He dives back into the closet searching through your shoes before settling on a nice pair of black combat boots. He stands back and admires the outfit he’d chosen. “Oh,” he mutters. “That black leather jacket, bring that too it’s gonna get colder today,” you roll your eyes at the ever excited Keeho, who skips out of your room and back into the living room to wait for you to finish. 

Once more you change, dreading the idea of going out, much less now knowing the temperatures would drop to a shocking negative ten degrees celsius.  

ꕀ❀ꕀ

You step outside, and quickly pull out a smoke as Keeho locks the door. Typically he’d have said something along the lines of ‘you’re going to stink up my car’ or complained how unhealthy it was of a habit, but he let it slide for now. A part of you felt guilty smoking in front of him, he’d worked for months helping you slowly stop. He dealt with the withdrawals, anxiety, anger, and everything that came with it. He didn’t mind the idea of helping you through it again, though it did bother him a bit knowing you’d done so well for the past six months, but he did understand why. You never had the best coping mechanisms, most if not all violently destructive. But no one knew you better than him, which made him (in his mind) the most suitable to help you through hard times.

 He patiently waited for you to finish your smoke before guiding you to the car, and opening the door for you. He was being unnecessarily kind today, and your gut told you something was up. “What did you do?” you say flatly, as he finally starts the car. The heating blasted through as he turned it to its max power. 

“Why do you assume I did something?” he scoffs, bringing the parking break down and allowing the car to gently roll down the hill of your driveway. You studied his expressions, nothing seemed wrong; and he certainly had no tell if he was going to do something wrong, but either way your brain persisted. “Anyways we’re almost late and it’s still about an hour drive.” 

“Where are we going?” 

“The city.” 

“Why would we go into the city Stephen?” 

“You need to stop calling me that,” he groans. 

“Well you were Stephen to me back home before you left.” you pout, 

“Does this look like Toronto to you bestie? No.” He focuses his attention on the road as he speaks, his phone connected to the speakers blasting loud music from his group as he drives, occasionally interrupted by the sound of the thick Australian accent he set for his navigation. Occasionally you’d mimic the woman as she told him where to go, and he’d laugh telling you how he would make you record all the sayings so he could set a ‘Custom Y/N Navigation Voice’ for his maps. You laughed at the idea, and once again your mind felt at ease. No one but he could make you feel so calm. 

“I kinda want to go home,” you sigh, his head snaps towards you staring at you with wide eyes, 

“Like, to visit right?” you shook your head, “Wait, you wanna go back to Toronto for good?” he asked, focusing on the road once more. 

“Perhaps. Don’t get me wrong, I love it here, But-” 

“But your sister moved here chasing you, is marrying the guy you dated, and your entire family flew here knowing what would happen and then made you witness it.” he sighs, “Yeah I know. But Y/N what does Canada have to offer you?” you look at him confused, freedom from being trapped seeing those two all the time was a start. “Listen Y/N, I love you; and I was happy he dragged you out here, but I’m happier you stayed even after to live with me because I love you, and I’m not gonna let you go back to waste your life away in Toronto just because of some guy, hell! You’re in your twenties, have some fun!” 

“Ste-”

“Wrong name.” 

“Kee.”

“Wrong Nickname.” 

“Well what do you want me to say!” 

“I’m offended.” he laughs, trying to brighten the mood. 

“I’m not saying it.” 

“Oh please won’t you say my favorite nickname?” 

“Only if you stop playing your music and let me play mine.” 

“Are you saying you don’t like my singing?” 

“I’m saying as your hostage you should let me at least enjoy my own music, and I like Taeyang’s voice better thank you very much.” “Ouch baby, very ouch” he laughs loudly as he hands you his phone,  you unlock it quickly and scroll through spotify before opting in to typing in what you were looking for, 

“Play that NCT song you like so much,” 

“Acting like it wasn’t you who screamed it so loudly your voice was lost for a day, I swear Taeyang was gonna kill me.” “I’m their leader, they listen to me” he says jokingly,  “and you realize you can just call him Theo,” he laughs. 

“He introduced himself to me as Taeyang, therefore I shall call him as such.” 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The two of you continue to listen to the music you play, a variety spanning from your favorite third and fourth gen groups, to pop punk, and a few anime intros. Your music taste was a mess but the two of you sang loudly to each song. It was about half hour into the ride before Keeho had gotten off the highway, pulling into a nice neighborhood and parking the car. He cleared the back seat of his car completely, throwing whatever unnecessary things he had into the trunk. You went to turn the music down as Keeho plopped himself back into the driver's seat looking at you as if you were about to commit some heinous crime. “What?” you ask, 

“How dare you turn the music down!” he giggles, turning it up even more, the vibrations of the base passed through your body with a low hum. “What are we doing here Kee.” 

“Waiting.” he smiled, 

“For?” 

“Taeyang, and Intak and a member from-” he paused as the song swapped and began to play the familiar tune of one of the groups you had liked for a while, a song you couldn’t help but give your absolute best performance to. “Stray Kids” Keeho laughed, “Fitting!” you unhooked your seatbelt knowing that both Taeyang and Intak fully know the extent of your love for this song, your mind completely erasing the fact that you would be introduced to someone from another group.

In your time being in Korea, you had only cared for Keeho’s own group members, you often sat out on whatever party he’d invite you to. He had left for Korea much earlier than you, and the only reason you had even met Jeonghan was accidentally online on some dating site when you were roughly nineteen, during a vacation while you visited Keeho. Safe to say your teenage brain was too madly in love with the stranger from across the world to think about the long term repercussions. 

You never cared for the life of idols, but you did enjoy the music. So it worked out, the boys of Keeho’s group could be comfortable near you knowing you’d do nothing to hurt Keeho or them, and you got to see the insides of their world of music making, which benefited you as a music major in college. You only cared for them on a personal level.

Enjoying other groups' music was one thing, but you didn’t need to see them live, or meet them. From Keeho’s complaints the life of an idol was hard enough, it’s hard for them to trust people as a whole and you being you didn’t want anyone of his friends being uncomfortable with your presence. Keeho did often offer to take you to concerts, which you refused each time because all you needed was your favorite group of boys. Them.

You were mid-performance, of Cheese making faces at Keeho as you asked him the questions sung throughout the song, he laughed as you lowered your voice mimicking Felix’s tone to the best of your ability as you sang proudly, “why’d you gotta say it like that?”. 

You loved the song, something about a group reacting to hate by creating a diss-track that involved every element as to why they were getting hate; now THAT was iconic to you. The back door flew open as you prepared yourself for your favorite part, now why it was your favorite part you couldn’t tell but you definitely liked mimicking that one part of Han Jisung’s rap. 

You turn to face Intak who laughed as he scooted into the back seat, you looked him in the eyes as you sang out loud “hyeosbadag shotgun jangjeon, click-clack, bang!” he laughed hard as you turned back to face Keeho, using your phone as a makeshift microphone. 

He had his head on his steering wheel as he laughed so hard you could see the red in his face, he’d never laughed like this both of them knowing how you get whenever one of your top five performance songs comes on. Taeyang finally gets in the car and as the second closest person to you, he should already know what to do, but instead of singing; he sits the with a wide grin, concealing a laugh, 

“You didn’t tell her, did you?” Taeyang laughs, you stop your performance and lean over your chair staring at the two boys in the back seat, as Keeho struggles to breathe from laughing too hard in the front seat, 

“Tell me what?” you say looking between the three, then it hits. Taeyang and Intak are squished together, as the seat behind Keeho lays empty. “Oh, is the other friend weird about me being here?” you ask, 

“Not at all, but if you’re going to do my rap I need more energy from you.” Han fucking Jisung. Oh great I just belted his fucking groups song in front of him, and looked like a total moron. 

“What the fuck is he doing here,” you said in a panic, “OH SHIT- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to say that outloud- I- I’ve just never- Wait, I-”

“Calm down Y/N/N!” Taeyang says, as he reaches forward placing his hand on your own “Breathe,” he smiles sweetly at you. Telling you with his eyes that everything is fine. 

“It’s fine honestly,” Jisung smiles widely, “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Jisung.” 

You turn back in your seat as the song finishes, concealing the utter embarrassment of having Jisung hear your performance to his own song. Keeho smiles at you as he starts the car back up fully, 

“Surprise?” he says with a mischievous smile, you hit him lightly on the arm which causes him to fly back dramatically, pretending as if you’d punched him at full force. “Y/N! How could you punch your best friend!” he cries out, 

“Keeho sleeping in the dog house tonight,” Intak chirps, 

“Keeho clearly Y/N/N likes me better give it up, you’re not her best friend anymore!” Taeyang laughs as he watches Keeho flail his arms, 

“AND NOW YOU’VE REPLACED ME WITH MY GROUP MEMBER? THE BETRAYAL!” He laughs, 

“Jesus Keeho you’re just as bad as Hyunjin with the dramatics!” Jisung grins at Keeho who slowly turns back in his seat to stare at him, 

“I…. Am…. Not!” Keeho  mutters, as he throws his empty water bottle at him. The two toss it at each other in a laughing fit for a moment, before Intak finally cuts in

“Anyways, what took you guys so long?” Intak laughs as he watches Jisung fumble with the bottle. Keeho turns back around and sets in the new destination handing you back the phone to continue with your music, 

“As Y/N’s personal stylist, I had to make sure she wasn’t gonna come in those god awful sweats she had on earlier,” 

“HEY! What’s wrong with my sweats!” you let out, 

“Nothing, when we’re at home! But you were really gonna show up looking homeless to an outing with Taeyang and Intak? Please. Not on my watch!” Keeho says smugly, “She looked like her little gremlin self, you guys should have seen it. I had to force the blinds open today!” you pout as you look at him, music blaring as he drives and the three in the back laughing. 

“Y/N/N is no gremlin you fool! Even in sweats I’m sure she’s still prettier than you,” Taeyang giggles, “This is why she likes me more,” Keeho eyes him in the rearview mirror, whispering a small ‘suck my dick you heathen,’ as Taeyang bursts into another laughing fit. Because whenever you’re with these three boys, the laughter never ends. Usually.

ꕀ❀ꕀ

The boys spend time talking as you stare out the window, enjoying the view of the river through the drive. Your phone buzzes, pulling it out of your pocket; you read the message. 

‘I want you to be my maid of honor,’ the message read. You’d expect this. You’d expected for your family to message you about the wedding. Just not so soon, not literally the day after your world collapsed. 

“Y/N?” Taeyang says in a loud whisper, you’d been in the front seat staring down at the message for a rough ten minutes, as your second favorite ‘performance’ song played throughout the car, “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” you squeak, jumping up from the realization that you had just completely zoned out. A lump in your throat building up into an unbearable ball which you had to choke down to save yourself from further embarrassment, especially from the new person you’d only just met. 

“No you’re not.” Intak says as he reaches his hand over, placing it on your shoulder, “I know you’re not.” Keeho keeps his eyes glued on the road, unaware of the message you’d just received. “Y/N, talk to us.” 

“I’m perfectly content!” you whisper, 

“You’re not singing. This is one of your songs. You never miss a chance to sing Slump. Not once in the entire time I’ve known you, never ever have you not sung to an anime OST.” Taeyang leans forward bringing himself between the two front seats, “And I know you’re not holding back because of Jisung.” Jisung sat in the back quietly letting the rest of you speak. The air in the car filled with an insufferable tension which you wished would dissipate. 

“I have a wedding to plan.” you sigh, bringing your phone up and handing it to him. Taeyang takes it leaning back, allowing Intak to read it thoroughly. 

“He fucking proposed?” Intak says aloud, you hum in response. “When?” 

“At dinner last night with my family.” 

“HE DID IT IN FRONT OF YOU?” 

“That fucking prick.” Taeyang whispers, “I’ll fucking ki-”

“No. It’s okay,” you choke, tears are threatening your very existence, plotting to drown you in your spot. “Can’t control who people fall in love with, she’s a good match for him.”

“Good match my ass, she’s petty and not even half as interesting as you are!” Taeyang’s voice only gets louder as he gets angrier, 

“Guys,” Keeho sighs, he’d wanted to distract you from this situation yet somehow, and in someway the universe had decided fuck that and threw this untimely obstical in his way, “Let’s just drop it for today okay?” 

“It’s not my place,” Jisung says softly, as he twiddles his thumbs. “And I don’t know what happened and I have very little context, but I think it’s bold of you to be so mature about it.” 

“Thanks.” you mumble turning back around in your seat, because of course this kind of thing would happen on the day Keeho introduces you to someone new. The rest of the car ride was a blur, your mind was much too occupied with finding ways to politely decline the offer, while also reminding you that she was your sister, and it your duty to be there for her.

 You’d always been there for your sister, the two of you since children had been inseparable until you moved to Korea three years ago. You’d been there for her during her heartbreaks, you’d been there when she didn’t get into the college she wanted. You’d been there through her pregnancy scares, and shitty friends, and you’d been there for every good time as well. When she had heard you’d be moving to Korea, dropping your entire life in Canada for your boyfriend she was devastated. She’d thrown tantrums left and right during his visit to introduce himself to your parents, and after you’d left she saved up for two years to move here to ‘Be with you’ because she ‘couldn’t be without her best friend’, more like without my boyfriend. Soon enough you’d realized the pair had gotten close, and you had convinced yourself he was being friendly because your little sister had no one other than you in Korea. She had no knowledge of the language, or area and often spent time in your apartment even after she’d found her own three months after moving. Had it been then when he fell for her? While she lived with you? Once more the intrusive thoughts begin to whirl around in your brain, leaving nothing but the destruction of your mental state in its wake. You never wanted to know if he’d cheated, but the signs were all there. 

ꕀ❀ꕀ

“Kee,” you whisper as the other three boys walk in front of you into the restaurant, “I don’t want to be with someone new today. Do you mind if I take off?” 

“Jisung is nice Y/N”

“How do you even know him?” 

“You meet a lot of people in this industry, he’s not gonna bite.” 

“I’d rather go home.” Keeho stops and turns to you, looking into your eyes as he holds your shoulders, 

“Babe. I can’t let you go home, first the cab would cost a fortune, not that I have an issue with it. But what I do have an issue with is you going home alone, to cry in your room. I’m sorry, I know you’re hurting, but I can’t leave you to your own thoughts. I can’t see you hurting again, so please let me distract you today; and if you still need time alone after I’ll give it to you, but today let's ignore the rest of the world, fuck your sister, fuck your family, and fuck his stupid ass. Let's laugh, and have a nice lunch with our friends,” he pleads, “plus Ji.” reluctantly you agree, he’s planned this outing for you because he knew exactly what you’d need to keep you from wallowing in the darkness of your room. He didn’t expect the small bump in the road, but he was prepared to do whatever it took to make sure you went over it smoothly. He guided you into the restaurant, it was cute. More like a cafe than anything. It was nice, large windows covered the front wall allowing it to be lit mostly by natural light, it had soft music playing and plants everywhere. It seemed like a fitting place to read, or draw; or have a nice lunch with friends. The perfect place for you. For sure Keeho had thought of that when planning the outing, and you appreciated the effort he’d put into it. 

As you make your way to the table Taeyang waves you over smiling to you as he pulls the seat beside his out, “You saved a seat for queen gremlin, and left me to sit between Intak and Jisung?” Keeho pouts, “Two betrayals in one day,” 

“Well Y/N/N shouldn’t be put between two people, she deserves her own spot and you do not!” 

“Why!” 

“Until you stop calling Y/N a gremlin I will not be giving you any special treatment!” 

“You should respect your elders,” Keeho huffs, 

“And so should you now beg, tell her Y/N noona please forgive me for my rudeness!” Taeyang laughs, 

“Noona?” Jisung asks, staring up at you as you take your seat beside Taeyang, 

“Oh no, don’t get all excited Ji!” Intak squeals, as he holds his laughter in. His cheeks puffing up before he slams his head down onto his arm that lay on the table, tears coming down his face as he laughs, 

“I was eighteen let it go,” Jisung sighs, 

“How could I when you started the song off with jeogyo-”

“Please, don’t say it.” Jisung says, lowering his head onto the table, his ears red from the embarrassment, his body cringes as he remembers the lyrics. 

“Yeah, Y/N is older than all of us, but like hell am I calling her noona or unnie.” Keeho says with a smile. The conversation dies down, and a new one picks up. Everyone talking about different things together, as you waited for your food to arrive. Suddenly Taeyang wraps his arm around your shoulder, leaning forward to block your view to the outside, raising his hand slightly to get the waitresses attention, 

“Would you mind if I lowered the blind here? It's a bit bright.” he says nonchalantly, the waitress smiles and lowers the blind completely. Once its down he removes his arm, and leans back in his seat, “Sorry there was an unpleasant sight outside,”

“What was it?” Intak questions as he pulls at the blind, Taeyang kicks him lightly under the table “Oh,” Intak says, “Mm yes that dog is having a great time, what a conversation killer.” Intak you idiot. Taeyang thinks to himself.

#han jisung fluff #stray kids fluff #skz fluff #han jisung x you #han jisung x female reader #jisung x y/n #jisung x reader #jisung x you #han x reader #han x y/n #han x you

[uuchanjustice]

Ekubo Week Day 4 - Final Form

(Dimple, Mob and Tome, word count: ~700)

"Mob!!!" Tome burst into the office with windswept hair and her cell phone in her hand. "They're showing the ORIGINAL Aliens Vs. Zombies Vs. Salarymen at Fennel Theater tonight!!! They're gonna have snacks and sell keychains and it's gonna be so fun- oh, sorry, Mr. Serizawa..."

Mob was grimacing and gesturing at Tome to stop yelling, but she realized her mistake too late as the stranger in the office jumped out of his chair in surprise.

Serizawa smiled ruefully at Tome, then turned his attention back to the startled client whose cursed plushie he had just exorcised. "Sorry about that! She's my, uh, niece... so, 5000 yen?"

"You have to come, Mob!!!" Tome whispered to Mob as Serizawa ushered the client out. "This movie is the ultimate cult classic!!! Everyone says it's best experienced in a rowdy theater full of nerds! Who knows when we'll get a chance like this again??"

"Uh, Tome..." Serizawa returned to his desk and fixed the picture frame the client had accidentally knocked over. "It sounds fun, but... isn't it a school night? You should be responsible with your schoolwork..."

"I don't have any homework today!" Tome shot back. (It was half true... she didn't have any homework due tomorrow at least.) "And I bet Mob doesn't either!"

Mob nodded. "She's right, I don't."

"But that's not all," said Serizawa. "You also need to get a good night's sleep before school, and..." Tome tuned him out and sat down at her and Mob's shared desk, huffing. She gave Mob a Look that meant "we'll discuss this after work" and hoped he would understand what she meant.

---

"So there's something else," said Tome once she and Mob were a full block away from the office after closing. "We have to go with an adult to supervise us, it's the theater's policy or whatever. I was going to ask Mr. Serizawa, but apparently he's too 'responsible', and no way are we asking Mr. Reigen..." She took a deep breath. "I know you don't like breaking the rules, but we're gonna have to sneak in. We could maybe pass for adults with different clothes, I can-"

"Tome." Mob's voice cut through Tome's chatter. "I want to go. But we don't need to sneak in." He smiled. "I know someone who could take us."

---

"I still can't believe you never mentioned this," grumbled Tome.

"It never came up," responded Mob.

A seven-foot-tall, muscly green figure walked next to them, wearing a poorly fitting T-shirt and sweatpants bought from a nearby thrift store. Perched on top of his head was a wig of curly hair.

"Really, I'm more surprised that Dimple agreed to this," said Mob. "He usually doesn't like being asked favors..."

"Are you kidding?" Dimple waved a giant hand flippantly in the air, in a way that he would never admit was influenced by Reigen. "I'd never get in the way of you breaking the rules, Shigeo."

Officially, Mob and Tome were on a job with Reigen and Serizawa. Dimple had called Mob's parents from Tome's phone and done an impressive impersonation of Reigen to explain the situation. Tome's parents only needed a text. She was going to make a great adult one day; she was already living the carefree young adult life.

They approached the run-down theater. Most of the attendees were already inside, so they walked right up to the ticket booth and Dimple slapped the 3000 yen Mob and Tome had given him onto the counter. "Three for the zombies," he said casually.

The attendant looked at Dimple for about one second before deciding that he wasn't paid enough to ask questions. "Go ahead. Concessions on the left, no outside food or drink."

Tome skipped into the theater, dragging Mob alongside her. "Kids, right?" Dimple cracked at the attendant, who was pointedly not making eye contact.

---

Two hours later, the group staggered out of the theater, surrounded by teens and young adults hopped up on soda. Tome's eyelids were drooping, and Mob was clutching his stomach. "Why... did I eat... so much... popcorn..." he groaned.

Meanwhile, Dimple was as energetic as ever. "You were right, Tome," he exclaimed, clapping a hand each onto the kids' shoulders. "That was an unforgettable experience."

"Haha, just wait... the sequel is even..." Tome trailed off and slumped onto Dimple's shoulder.

He shook her gently. "Kid, wake up. We gotta get you home."

Mob gave him a Look that Dimple understood perfectly. He rolled his eyes and lifted the sleeping Tome onto his back. "You guys will be the death of me, I swear," he complained.

"But you're already-"

"Don't go there, Shigeo."

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #ekuboweek #ekubo week #mob #dimple #tome #its late i know...... but its here and its something!

[loublu8]

can you just ramble? ramble for as long as you want. as a fellow late 00s brit who's into some of the same interests as you (specifically vida the vet, charlie and lola, me too, balamory, abadas, and literally just any other cbeebies show i grew up with) i'd love to hear it!

if it's a ramble you want, a ramble you shall get. In other words here's like, my complete history with CBeebies. As a 08' kid, I was born in a weird transitional period for the channel. This was one year after they introduced the now iconic blocks of Get Set Go, Discover and Do and Big Fun Time, and Chris and Pui were going to move on from pres in 09' to work on Show Me Show Me. Postman Pat was just fresh from it's big SDS overhaul, which people either loved or hated (I think I liked it as a kid but looking back on it, it's nothing to get worked up over IMO, I just don't get why Pat can do James Bond-esque stunts now and is perfectly content riding a motorcycle.). Oh, and there was this little show about a garden of the night that began the year prior, I doubt that you've heard of it. Yeah, In the Night Garden was probably the first major CBeebies show I remember getting obsessed with, and looking back at it? I honestly don't know why. It's not a bad show at all, don't get me wrong, but I don't know why I was so obsessed over it to the point of having this dancing Igglepiggle toy as a kid.

Also, I remember loving the Hahoos as a young'un, part because a CBeebies magazine I got ages ago had little Hahoo toys. I took them on holiday to Turkey with me, yeah can you tell I'm autistic? I don't think I have them anymore, and if I do they're probably all scuffed up and missing paint. But that's okay, I can easily buy them on eBay to fill a place in 2 year old me's hear- HOW MUCH FOR 5 SMALL PIECES OF PLASTIC?

Yeah I didn't know these things were going for this much until my mum saw someone on Facebook ranting on how stupid expensive they are nowadays about a year ago. Anyways, on the topic of CBeebies' Bedtime Hour (and A Quarter nowadays), there's one elephant in the room I must discuss, the closedown screen.

This slightly green thing telling you to get some sleep absolutely terrified me as a kid though, it wasn't on the same level as the Eastenders theme's doofs and Christmas crackers if I remember correctly, but it still gave me PTSD for years on end. (Hey, at least I wasn't around for when the channel started, I really wanna meet whoever thought it was a great idea to make this screen bright blinding pink right after the goodnight song settled everyone down, just so I can tell them how dumb that idea was.)

Like all things I was spooked of as a kid, I got over it when I was getting nostalgic for the brand. Speaking of closedown screens, how is the closedown screen for the 2023 rebrand really good? Like, it would make a great screensaver without the text. You can say what you want about the new logo (which I think is fine, it fits in with the rest of the modern BBC branding so it succeeds in that aspect), but you gotta admit they did a really good job with revamping the idents for the channel.

Anyways, onto more of my favourite CBeebies shows. Charlie and Lola is easily up there as one of my favourites. It'sMy mum distinctly recalls taking me to the live stage show (which, live stage shows are a whole other can of worms I can talk about), and I couldn't remember much about it so I researched it, and it looks like they did a ridiculously good job of translating the show to a stage play while keeping the show's unique artstyle.

Balamory, obviously as a CBeebies viewer prior to 2016, I know what a Balamory is. I don't need to explain it. Though one weird memory I have is I remember going past the local barbers one day and seeing a Balamory rerun airing. I dunno why they showed CBeebies in the barbers of all places. On the other hand, Me Too!, which to me always felt like Balamory, but a wee bit worse (because that's exactly what it was!), and I don't remember my exact feelings towards it as a kid, but as a teenager, I became obsessed with it after found the Me Too! YouTube channel after I was pretty much done binge-watching Abadas. It quickly became my main comfort show, like if I'm not in the mood for anything else, just stick an episode of Me Too! on, there's like 150 episodes and I'm not sure if I've even seen over half of them. I've seen more MT! eps than Balamory though, probably cause it's more easily accessible. With Balamory, you gotta go on the internet archive for episodes of that. Abadas was one of the shows I distinctly remembered the intro for, though I misremembered it with Baby Jake of all shows (they came out around the same time). I went and revisited it one January day in 2023, around the time I was starting to put my Bubble Guppies hyperfix on the backseat as the show was about to end, and instantly fell in love with it. Really wish the production company behind the show didn't go bust as there was a lot of cool supplementary material with the show as well, they did a bunch of shorts on Vimeo which I happily recommend.

Eventually, I fell out of CBeebies around 2014 or so as, well, I was getting older and was ready to move on to more grown up shows (this is coming from the same kid who kept actively watching Nick Jr. well into his teenage years). But then I was channel surfing at my nan's around October 2019 or so and decided to stick CBeebies on for fun after deciding whatever was being shown on Challenge was too boring, I guess. Something Special was probably the show that launched me back into my CBeebies hyperfix, yea of all shows. Completely forgot the show used Makaton and as someone who was interested in sign language I went on a binge-spree to study all of Justin's signs. I became fairly competent at it. I got into Hey Duggee for a a bit as well, known as every parent's lifeline apparently. The game show episode is one of my favourites, mostly due to all the fun references they crammed into the episode. As a fan of the shows we people call game, it was a fun surprise. I also rediscovered some of my old childhood favourites that were still getting reruns. Swashbuckle was a bit too recent for me to have recalled watching it as a kid but my brother was certainly around for it and Tree Fu Tom, which was still rerunning at the time. Charlie and Lola still aired reruns, and back in 2019 I kinda just glanced at without much thought before realising a few years later that it was actually really good. Night Garden made me cry of nostalgia, and I also thought Baby Jake was the biggest feverdream ever conceived on television. I even was one of the weirdo's who listened to CBeebies Radio, though honestly there's no point in listening to it live as you can find all it's content on the Sounds app. Admittedly, I haven't gotten super into Bluey. Y'know, the most popular preschool show of this decade that didn't begin in this decade? Yeah I watched about 10-15 episodes of it, said "wow, this is one of the best preschool shows ever crafted", and then moved on to watching the same 40 Blue's Clues & You! episodes again. I'm sure if I force myself to binge watch it more I'll fall head over heels in love with it though. So if I haven't gone crazy for Bluey, what modern CBeebies shows have I gone crazy for? Funnily enough, two that released within the span of around 5 months. The Game Catchers was the first one I got into. I just kept binging episodes and instantly fell in love with it. Always thought the show's main concept was really, REALLY good. Teaching kids about outdoor games in the day and age of iPads is a really smart move. Don't really see many people in the fanbase yet unfortunately, it's certainly one my favourite CBeebies shows from the last 5 years. Also it has absolutely ruined me as any time I hear or say the phrase "so cute" I immediately have to connect it to Nina.

Vida on the other hand I pretty naturally got into. I checked it out, watched the first few episodes, and thought it was pretty good, but never intended it to become my next big hyperfixation. I was sooooooo wrong. I've always had a soft spot for shows with cute animals (Was a big LPS 2012 fan way back when) so naturally this was always destined to be a show I'd fall in love with. I also love all the characters in the show too. Pippen's my personal favourite, but Zigzag is a REALLY close second though. She's a cute bunny who canonically has ADHD. What's not to love.

Okay I think I've talked enough and I've been typing this out for like, 2 hours, I really need some sleep. I could talk about all sorts of other CBeebies shows I enjoy (LazyTown, Tish Tash, JoJo & Gran Gran, Carrie & David's Popshop's a more recent one I've binged from the days of old) but I've talked enough so yeah.

#not gonna tag this with every show i mention cause yeah #louie's answers to questions #louie's random ramblings #cbeebies #louie's VERY long rambles

[wrenreid]

Just Acting

18+ content in this story. all chapters in masterlist

Chapter Six

For the next two days, you're going to be off work. As much as you complain and curse in your head about getting up at morning's ass crack, it's more fun than being bored and alone in your apartment. Sometimes, you think you should get a puppy. But you remember you'd get separation anxiety and end up taking it to set every day. Maybe a plant would be nice, but you'd probably forget to water it and it would shrivel up and die in your dark apartment.

Today, you decide you will binge some Netflix and bake cookies. Because why not? You preheat the little oven and grab the store bought roll of chocolate chip cookie dough out of the fridge. You dance around your kitchen in plaid pajama pants, bunny slippers, and a black sports bra because it's still warm. The Vampire Diaries plays from the living room as you use your big girl knife to slice away the plastic wrapping. You're normally not one to love unrealistic teen drama, but this show is like a guilty pleasure and a part of your workaholic self longs for a dangerous love like Damon and Elena.

You chop the cookie dough into circles and lay them on a sheet. This circle is smaller than the rest, you think at the last one. You eat it, not really caring that you just consumed raw egg. (Salmonella who?)

You plop them in the oven and sit your happy ass on the couch where you watch Silas take over his doppelgänger's life. You sit, hitting your knees and enjoying watching tv. You had covered the window over the kitchen sink with curtains and the blackout curtains on the window in the living room are constantly closed, blocking the hot Los Angeles sun from the apartment. You're not entirely sure what time it is, but it can't be any later than 2pm.

30 minutes later, the cookies are ready to cool off. You turn off the oven, because no burning down the apartment today, and let the sheet pan rest on the counter for a bit. You grab your phone off the coffee table and check any messages. One is a weird meme from Matthew that you chuckle at its stupidity, and the rest are from Aisha, Jess, and your sister Lola.

You text a "yes!" Aisha asking if you wanted to hang out with her and the rest of the girls next weekend. Jess is gushing about her new crush Jacklyn, and Lola is attempting to get insight on the new season so far.

You're really happy for Jess, you just hope she isn't falling too hard too soon. Last time, she rushed in and the girl ended up breaking her heart bad. You can't stand to see her get hurt again.

You tell Lola just a little bit about your character that isn't really insight at all, and she is pleading for more. You have to explain that you don't actually know a lot and just got the script for episode 10.

You set your phone back down and grab a few cookies off the counter and plop back down on the couch to find a hot Ian Somerhalder on the screen. The chocolate chip cookies make your taste buds and tummy happy and you debate on eating more. You made 11, so why not? You eat one more, and your stomach is starting to yell at you for only consuming 3 cookies today and nothing else.

You find yourself wanting to be surrounded by your castmates, you love being alone occasionally but sometimes it just feels kinda sad. You'll be fine though, it's just a little thought that burns in the back of your head that you need to always be busy.

There's a knock on your door as your getting a glass of water from the kitchen. You shimmy your way over and open it, thinking it's just a neighbor saying your tv is too loud.

"Hey-" Matthew's eyes get a little wider as he notices you're not wearing a real top.

A flush creeps on your cheeks immediately, and you feel the need to cover up. You put your arms over your tummy. "Yes?"

"You left this on set, thought I'd bring it to you." He hands you your marble printed planner.

"Uh thanks." Your face is awkward as you take it from him. So is his.

"Okay well uh bye, Y/n."

"Bye Gubler."

"Nice slippers by the way, and thanks for letting me see you naked!" Matthew says making his way down the hall. Everyone of your neighbors had to have heard it. What an ass.

You felt insecure opening the door in your bra, and it made it worse that it was Matthew. He'd probably find a way to flip the story and tell everyone it.

What doesn't make sense though is why he brought it to you? Sure you don't live entirely far from him, but you could've just gotten it Thursday when you go in. He probably figured you'd be super gripey if you didn't have every plan written down, which isn't entirely true but that's how everyone most likely sees you. An uptight bitch. Which isn't true, some people, like Gubler, just get on your nerves. And some times you just like to be in control.

___

You're almost done with season 5, which means you watched a shit ton of episodes today. You decide to stop when you reach season 6 and go to bed.

You take off your bunny slippers and lay down, cuddling up with your cream colored comforter.

___

You decide to go shopping for a new outfit today. Your date it on Friday night and you want to make sure you dress to impress. Or dress to look good for yourself.

You walk on the concrete outside the 'strip mall' seeing all kinds of stores. You decide to head into one and look around for a bit. For this date, you're not really sure if you want a dress or just some nice clothes.

You've seen a few pictures of this guy and have talked to him a bit the last week. He normally dresses in a nice shirt, jeans, and some cool sneakers. So maybe you should be a little less uptight and fancy?

You spot a white blazer with a black grid print. It's classy and fun at the same time. It's not entirely too expensive, so you decide to buy it.

You go shoppings around for a bit more and buy a new pair of white sneakers that are slightly different from the other pair you have. (literally me with 4 pairs of white shoes)

By the time it's 12pm, you're getting hungry. You decide to get some food at a little Chinese restaurant a few streets away. You eat your egg rolls and rice with chicken as you scroll on your phone.

When you get home, you hang up your new blazer and put away your shoes.

You call your mom and talk with her for a bit about life in LA and how her and the family are doing. You talk to your dad sometimes, but really only a few times a month through text. He comes into the room where your mother is, and you can feel the tension. He loves you obviously, but he's not the happiest that you're an actress. Which is completely stupid, because you're 33 years old and can do whatever the fuck you want.

You change out of your blue top and jeans before slipping on some pajamas.

(added chapter 7 in here)

It's mid Thursday morning, aka your second and last day of filming episode 9. You wake up and make some coffee. While it's brewing, you slip into high waisted skinny jeans, your usual and casual white sneakers, and an oversized black 90s band t shirt that you don't remember buying.

You pour in a little bit of caramel creamer into your excessively large cup of coffee, grab your things, and head out the door. You've begun keeping everything go take to set in a grey backpack, it's one of those small ones but fits a fair amount of shit.

Most people are at work by this time, so the streets aren't entirely chaotic at this fine time of 11am. You drive your way to set, driving past the palm trees, tourists, and possibly some crack beads. Good ole LA.

You finish the entire thing of coffee by the time you reach hair and makeup. Today, they decide to let your natural hair shine. Kylie combs through your waves with her fingers, applying some gel that makes bit piecey.

Ronnie does Delilah's usual makeup routine, which takes about 20 minutes. Then, you head to wardrobe per usual. Today, they have a more casual look for you. You change into the white body suit, light jeans, black cardigan, and black booties. Delilah's outfits are most of the time what you'd wear yourself.

You're filming a scene with Matthew again of course. It's sort of a sadder scene to be honest. Spencer and Delilah have started to get closer and closer as friends so they're starting to open up.

Spencer and Delilah are talking while both finally having some time off of work:

"My mom, ya know trying to get her mind of Dad's death, is trying to set me up with God knows how many people. It's pretty annoying about it too. I've had some bad experiences with exes."

Spencer looks down at his hands.

"Sorry. I'm rambling."

"No it's fine, get it off your chest," Spencer says.

"Seems as if there's stuff on your chest too."

He sighs. "Just work I guess. And the ex thing you said."

"Oh, want to talk about it?" Delilah also looks down at her hands as they sit on the park bench. She's not really used to talking about feelings, but for some reason it's not too bad with Spencer.

"I..." he pauses, trying to think of what to say, which doesn't happen often at all. "They just didn't end well."

"I'm sorry, Spence."

“It’s okay,” he looks sad, a look in his eyes that wasn’t there a moment before.

"It's nice to get out here, huh? Take a break from blood and guns and law things you do. I know I'm happy to be out of the office."

"Yeah it's nice," Spencer gives a small smile, looking out at the joggers and kids playing in the park.

"How've you been? With the headaches..."

"They're getting better."

"Really?"

"Sort of. I'm trying to trick myself into believing that not thinking about it makes it's go away, but I guess I'm too smart for that."

Delilah gives him a chuckle. "Probably, mr genius. Maybe sleep would help."

"I think we both know we don't do that often."

"Hmm accurate, but we should.”

The two hold eye contact for a moment before Spencer looks down again. He looks sad still, but something in him seems to have brightened up a bit.

It only takes about an hour to finish up the scene (director's note, blocking, trying new ways, and camera angles).

Matthew look your director right in the eyes and says, "So when are we gonna fuck?" Then he looks to you says, "Our characters of course."

You nearly choke.

The director just laughs, "Take that up with the writers." He walks away to see the footage.

"What the fuck, Gubler?!"

"What? You feel that tension don't you?" He grins.

"Yeah the tension of me wanting to slap you."

"Rude. Anyway, they'll end up together. Just wait and see."

"I'll be damned if I ever have to kiss you."

"You'll love it."

"In your dreams,” you say with an eye roll.

"Obviously." Matthew's smug little smirk is enough to make you want to yell and punch a wall.

You have one more scene to film. Which is pretty upsetting. It's not until a bit later though, so you run through the script a few more times and chill in your trailer while they film other scenes.

After about two hours, AJ knocks on your trailer door. "Hey girl, I haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?" she says when you let her in.

"Pretty well. It's mostly been a chill week. How are you doing lovely lady?

"I'm great. Also Matthew mentioned something to Glenn about a 'magical kiss scene'?" She looks at you questioningly.

"Of course he did," you roll your eyes. "He seems to be convinced that our characters will fall in love in love of some bullshit."

AJ laughs. "I mean they have been talking about that."

"What now?" You raise your eyebrows.

"I don't know. It's just an idea the writers and Jeff had. They think it'd be a cute couple. I agree honestly."

"Okay maybe Delilah and Spencer, yes. But me having to kiss... Matthew. That's a whole new level of nightmare."

"Oh come on he's not bad."

"He's a dick."

"Okay you're kinda right. But he can be sweet,” she says.

"Sure sure. Maybe to the rest of you, but for some reason his life goal is to annoy me."

AJ laughs again. "Well I wish you the best of luck then."

"Yeah, thanks,” you groan.

___

You go to wardrobe once again and change into a more business style outfit for the next scene. Kylie puts hair in a half up half down style while Ronnie touches up your makeup.

Delilah sits in her father's former office. She is clearly distraught while she looks at a picture of him holding her as a child.

"Am I doing okay, Dad? I feel like I'm failing you. This is so much work and I wish there was a way to know if I was doing it the way you'd want."

She can't help but feel guilty for his death. After all, she was the one kidnapped and he tried to help her.

She rambles on a bit out loud, not sure if he can even hear her. A few tears have fallen from here face, she barely even realizes.

Her receptionist knocks on Delilah's door, shaking her out of her aloud thoughts. She wipes away a tear quickly before asking her receptionist what she needs.

You change back into your normal clothes and let your hair down before heading out of you trailer.

"Hey Y/n!" Aisha says excitedly, walking beside Matthew.

"Hey!"

"You don't come in tomorrow, do you?"

"Nope. Three lovely days off for me."

"Ooh any plans?" She asks, Matthew seems to be ignoring you.

"Yeah I have a date tomorrow night,” you breath through a smile.

"Oh that's right! Exciting!"

"Yeah. And nerve wracking. I haven't been with anyone in a while,” you tell her.

"Well maybe he'll be a keeper. And hopefully you'll get to take him home," Aisha winks causing you to blush a bit.

Matthew seems to have choked on his water. "Y/n's sex life. I think I'll pass on this conversation."

"No one wanted you in it anyway, hun." You say the last word sarcastically.

He rolls his eyes, clearly annoyed by something, and walks away. Which is fine by you.

You head home after talking to Aisha for a bit.

chapter seven

tags: @pauline5525mgg @theintimatewriter @lilibet261 @greysviolets @jazzymariexoxoc @one-sweet-gubler @thatsonezesty13 @necromaniackat @awhoreforspencerreid @sebs-oxygen @crynroom @scarredelirium @reid1nspiration @bts-sugaplum @awesomeness1679 @yazzyuwusposts @cynbx @kicknamestakeass1 <3

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid fanfiction #mgg x you #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #mgg angst #mgg fic #spencer reid and reader #dilf spencerreid #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid series #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x self insert #matthew gray gubler #matthew gray gubler x fem!readr #matthew gray gubler x fem!reader #matthew gray gubler x you #matthew gray gubler angst #matthew gray gubler x reader #matthew gray gubler fic #matthew gray gubler x original female character #spencer reid x original female character #criminal minds smut

[stardustedknuckles]

So I woke up to the power out. No storm. No indication of a fried squirrel. I sent a very carefully worded text to my dad who lost his job last month asking if the utilities had gone through, and seemed like they had. With no computer to work on and nothing to shield my ears from the sounds of the cats self administering their morning baths with gusto, I decided to go for a walk.

Now. I'm of the belief that there's nothing wrong with leaving the door unlocked for ten minutes to walk around the block. My father, who believes every stranger is a potential threat, drilled it into me early on in our move here that the front door needs to be locked on every walk, no matter how short (unless it's to the mailbox). He has a doorbell camera, so he knows if I don't. Whatever. I lock the door. I don't have to bring my keys (which was the biggest reason I left the door unlocked) since he got a keypad for the garage door. I can come back in that way and have for about three years.

Well. Those require power.

I pulled the front door shut behind me this morning and immediately cringed. My heat intolerant ass was outside, legs already feeling weak, without a wallet, morning vitamins, water, or food, and no knowledge whether the QT a mile away would take tap to pay on my phone (which I had to set up as soon as I got to the park, and thank the gods my cashapp card has an app function that lets you see its information so I COULD set up tap to pay).

I've busted the door open at my mom's with a credit card a few times and figured I could probably do it our front door, if I only got a card. It was 8 in the morning though, and I wasn't sure who was up.

(On the way to the park I passed a lady getting into her car with a giant dog. On the way back, I saw her front door was open about a foot and two cats were outside. I stopped and called out into the house. No response. I knocked, called again. Nobody home. The cats went inside. I shut her door. I really hope those were her cats.)

My nosy neighbor was out and about to leave, and though it would cost me friendly grilling about my life, my dad's life, and any potential lives that might intersect with ours, I thought she might have a credit card she didn't care about. She at least had a dog, which I got to pet while she explained she doesn't carry any cards she doesn't use and she doesn't give her information to credit card companies because big data is coming for us all.

She's not entirely wrong, but the faded trump/pence bumper sticker on her truck had my visibly queer ass nodding a bit more enthusiastically than I might otherwise.

When I finally extricated myself from her (no, I'm still not interested in essential oils, I have allergies to them, thank you for thinking of me, uh-huh, you too!) I checked the mail. I've been home alone Monday through Friday for weeks since dad got a new job and took the car, and I'm not very good at keeping up with the mail, so I hoped to find one of those fake cards they send you in hopes you'll call and get a real one. No dice. I was proud of myself for that idea and everything.

By then, we were hitting the low seventies and the morning mist was dissipating. The sun wasn't fully out yet, but it was unmistakably warmer, and me in my pants with an antihistamine in me from yesterday (they cause greater heat intolerance). There was a man loading his truck a couple driveways down. Never met him before, but I'd seen him. I approached, gave him my name, and sheepishly relayed the morning to him. Thankfully everyone else's power was out too, so I didn't sound too much like I was asking for him to aid and abet a break-in.

He agreed to help but wanted to be the one to do it - as in, "I'll walk with you" and didn't want my paws on his card. He gave the front door a really good try, but privately I still feel like he gave up before he could get it. Still, I was grateful for him ruining a card trying to help me and we tried the shittier door that led to the inside of the garage. Deadbolted. Goddammit dad.

Fast forward to him showing me a trick on the sliding glass door with a screwdriver - we had built up something of a friendly bond through adversity by then, though I never did get his name - which didn't work but reminded me that even though I'm really careful to lock windows (no cracks for spiders to get in that way) I might have left the kitchen window unlocked from when I opened it for my cat. We both tried using the bricks of the house to hop up and see if the latch was shut before we would try prying off the screen.

The latch was shut, and as I dropped back defeated onto the cracked concrete slab that could and had been very generously described by realtors as a patio, hot and starting to sweat, I put my hands on my hips and squinted up into the yellow porch light. And in a very rare DC 10 perception check, I REALIZED what I was seeing.

I must've made a noise, because neighbor guy looked to me with a little confusion. I pointed. He looked, tipped his head, processed. His whole face cleared. He wasn't the sort to laugh easy - gruff, built like an electric foreman, which is to say like my stepfather - but he shook his head with a little smile and made sure I could get in the garage before pushing up the bill of his cap with a finger and wandering off back to his day with his screwdriver.

My day hasn't even started yet. The email my dad (2.5 hours away) forwarded me before my walk estimated it would be four hours before the power came back. I knew it wouldn't take that many, but I didn't dare hope it would only take two. I told my supervisor then that I would keep her updated and I've still got two hours before that time hits. I spent half of one writing this, and I'm going to take ten more to eat something, and then I'll hop online and get busy.

But man. What a morning.

#I should also uninstall tap to pay/turn off my nfc again #I have a headache #I wrote this from my bed where I am horizontal because stress made me need to be horizontal #I did confirm with nosy neighbor that the one lady did have two cats #And I figure if they were feral they wouldn't have run inside #One had a collar indent #There was an empty bucket of litter outside so it's probably fine but wow that was weird #Mundane adventures

[purefandomonium]

Unused Snippet from Connection

I came across this while working on the next couple chapters. I forgot all about it, but it's not something I'm going to keep in the story. So I figured I'd post it because it's still a decent "chapter." I think I wrote it kind of early on but ended up scrapping it because it didn't really fit in how I wanted. Anyway.

RED: I don’t think I ever asked, but what’s it look like out there?

RED: Outside, I mean.

Leann hummed. “That’s kind of a tough question. I guess it depends on how much you understand certain concepts.” She inspected the screen, curious as to how Red perceived that virtual world of his. She doubted he fully understood weather, or sunrises and sunsets, or temperature. The bare minimum she hoped he knew was light and nature, otherwise she was at a loss.

“You, uh, know what plants and stuff are, right?”

RED: Of course.

Something about that particular block of text emitted sarcasm.

RED: I know what the sun and moon are, and what animals are too.

“Do you?” She was genuinely surprised. The sun and moon made sense, but Red knowing about real world animals was odd. “I wouldn’t have thought any previous players would have sat you down and told you about the literal birds and bees.”

RED: I don’t know everything, but I do understand they’re essentially like Pokemon but with no special moves.

She could almost hear the ‘whoosh.’ Unable to stop the grin, she said, “Yeah, that’s sorta right. It’s just… Pokemon aren’t the most scientifically accurate example. And making animals fight is hella illegal.”

RED: …That’s strange…

“How so?”

RED: Do people… want animals to fight?

“Er… no, not usually.”

RED: Then why make a game entirely about making fictional creatures attack each other until one of them passes out?

Leann’s brain failed at conjuring an answer. She sat there, gently spiraling into life-questioning territory. The more she thought about it, the more disturbed it sounded. She couldn’t fathom how Red must feel. After all, he spent many years gathering innocent creatures against his will only to be forced to sic them on others until they beat the opposing creature into submission.

RED: Do you think they feel?

Leann was tugged back to the conversation at Red’s chime. Oh boy. It wasn’t hard to see where this was going. “I… I don’t know, Red. Do you think they can? You’re the one in there with them.”

RED: How would they even tell me if they were like me? The only sounds they can make are those blasted “calls.” Even if they were trying to tell me something, I wouldn’t be able to understand it.

RED: …Maybe they think I’m their tormentor. Maybe, to them, I’m this horrible monster who makes them fight for my own enjoyment. All they want is to run free and I’m the one holding them prisoner.

RED: If I can’t understand them, how could they possibly understand me when I tell them I don’t mean it and I’m just as much a prisoner as them?

She could feel rising panic at the words. “…Red, no. That’s not… For what it’s worth, I don’t think that’s the case at all.”

RED: How can you be so sure?

“Because if I know anything, it’s code. And the code for the Pokemon and the code for you are not the same thing. I don’t know what’s so different about you that you became self-aware, but I do know there’s no chance the Pokemon are.” She didn’t know that. She hoped Red wouldn’t call her bluff. “They’re just… How do I explain this?” She needed something believable. Suddenly, “They’re just placeholders. All they are is a stored sprite and a single sound. That’s it. They can have certain moves attached to them and that’s it. They aren’t designed with anything else in mind.

“You, on the other hand, are the player character. Of course you’re more important than the Pokemon. There’s way more code going into you than them. Besides, if they were sentient in any way, don’t you think you’d have noticed something different about them?” She let that sink in and hoped it would calm him down.

The panic she felt hadn’t been her own.

Red said nothing for a long while. He thought back on all the years he’d been trapped in the game, all the time he’d spent lamenting his fate, and not once did a single instance crop up where the Pokemon had done anything different. Even the glitched ones, though chaotic, had a set pattern they tended to follow. None of them ever deviated like he had.

RED: You’re right. All this time, they’ve never changed. They can’t be like me.

He wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he was being.

Leann was silent for several moments. “Is there a reason this bugs you so much?” This was the first time he’d ever mentioned the Pokemon to her. On the rare occasion they did come up, it was because she was telling him stuff about the current series or whenever she told him about an animal one of the creature’s designs were heavily based off of.

At best, Red seemed to harbor disinterest about the ones in his game. Seeing him get so upset over them now was bizarre.

Though he kept his true self hidden in the void, he could feel Leann’s gaze on his avatar. He sighed to himself. Sometimes thinking just sucked.

RED: It’s just… I always wondered why it had to be me.

RED: No one else became sentient. No one else sees this world for what it is.

RED: I’m surrounded by mindless drones.

“You sound like you got lonely,” she offered, tone gentle. She couldn’t blame him for getting so worked up. Being in his position would be agony for anyone.

RED: I used to love Pokemon. I didn’t really have a favorite, but I used feel a bond with each and every one I caught.

RED: I took pride in my team. I considered them friends. Before I…

“You hoped that maybe they’d be like you, right? Because they were friends to you before everything changed.”

RED: I tried to save them. I didn’t want them to suffer like me. I didn’t wanna make them fight each other, let alone things they had no hope of beating.

RED: …I know it’s stupid.

RED: Out of everything… I always thought they were the one thing I could choose…

“Oh, Red, I’m so sorry,” Leann said around the lump in her throat. The GameBoy felt heavy in her hands as she rubbed her thumbs along the sides, contemplating what could even be said to remedy Red’s mood.

RED: You don’t have to be sorry, Leann. Like I said: it’s stupid.

RED: Once I saw things for what they were, making them fight felt wrong.

RED: But I couldn’t stop it. And even though I knew they’d always come back after resets, it still hurt to watch them get torn apart by the same forces that tormented me.

She felt guilty for ever playing the game the way it was intended. She couldn’t look at the franchise the same after this. She remembered the whole thing with PETA, and while it was still the most ridiculous argument she’d ever heard of, it did carry a bit more weight to it now.

#connection #my wriitng #glitchy red #pokepasta #my oc #snippet

[prettyboi14]

Imma vent for a bit so um, yeah, I'm gonna use this post as my safe space rn 😭

It's hard to describe just how lonely I've been the last few days/weeks/months. Time has been going so so slow yet so fast at the same time. 2 months ago, a whole 2 months ago, the last two or 3 days of August, I lost all of my friends. And I mean, all of them. Even my best friends of 3 years. And a guy who I actually loved, a lot, told me to kill my self. This guy was one who had been with me when I was very much struggling. He helped me through what I assumed was something similar to a panic/anxiety attack, he had similar mental health to me so we bonded a lot over that. So for him to tell me to kill my self, meant a whole lot more then if it would have been anyone else. I think about that everyday and it's been probably 2 months since that happened. I can't get it out of my head. I keep seeing that text message in my head and I genuinely don't know how much longer I can deal with it. I loved all of my friends so much. And I hate that that hate me and that I hurt them. Those friends helped me find myself, they watched me grow up and find myself, and I watched them grow up too. I know friends grow apart, but it still hurts.

Along with that. I haven't told anyone this, because I just haven't. I've wanted to tell my bf but I haven't really spoke to him since it happened and it's not something you would usually say over text. I didn't tell my old ana coach when it happened and I told him actually everything. It happened multiple weeks ago, but I've thought about it pretty much everyday since. To explain, I was at this thing with my mom, it was like outside, and there was booths for like selling stuff and shit. My mom was on one side of the booth thing we were at, and I was at the other, she wasn't really paying attention to me, and I was just like looking at the things at the booth, it was a candle booth. I was standing pretty close to the table as to not like block the way. however, a pretty old guy, like if I had to guess, like 50+, on the heavier side too, walked up behind me, put his hands on my shoulders, and then in my waist/hips, and squeezed them as he slid behind me. But here's the thing, there was plenty of space to walk behind me, like, there was at least like 4+ feet behind me for him to walk. I was super uncomfortable and weirded out when it happened, when I mentioned it to my mom, she just brushed it off, like she usually does, so she doesn't really know what happened, she just knows, someone else grabbed my shoulders as I didn't get much further into saying it before she started talking. The entire day, I was uncomfortable. And It was like I could still feel his hands on my waist and shoulders. It still feels like i can. I thought I'd get over it that day, but clearly I haven't. I keep thinking of it, it keeps like replaying. I keep feeling his hands. I know it's like, nothing, but I hate it. I want to forget it.

This year has been a complete hell hole. I want out.

I'm tired of feeling like I'm constantly trying to dig myself out of the hole yet end up just breaking the tension of the dirt and making more fall. I feel like I'm buried underground in a coffin and I'm just wasting my air and energy banging and yelling for help. I'm tired. As much as I don't want to go on, I know I have to, I can't leave my bf. Plus, I promised myself i wouldn't die a virgin. I've kept that promise this long, I can keep it longer.

I've stopped trying to live though. I don't care about living. Even if I were to try, I still wouldn't be living, or alive. I might not be dead, but that doesn't necessarily make someone alive. I know it's gotten way worse then I probably think it is. I've mentioned it before, but it's gotten to the point where even my mom is worried. And she doesn't notice shit.

I picked up my floor for the first time in 2 months. It didn't make me feel better. It just reminded me of when I had my friends. Last time I had a clean room, I had friends, who I loved. And I was blissfully unaware that my [now ex] bf was a complete difference person and was lying to me.

I want my life back.

I could say a whole lot more, but this is already a lot longer then I planned.

[sixstepsaway]

Wanted to say you're absolutely right about a lot of these Izzy criticisms ending up seeming like frantic excuses to find a justification for their instinctive distaste for him as previous reasons crumble. And yeah, I've seen how certain people throw around fetishize for everything nowadays. In other news, I am touched by my tag! I'm special now! Btw, the only reason I mentioned the asks I sent with the Daddy Dom in it is because I thought Tumblr might have deleted the first due to formatting fail, and sent another. They're two different versions of the same ask with some tweeks. I suggest you delete the first one (Sunday) and keep the second (Monday), if you like! Feel to answer or not answer whenever and if ever you please. I just wanted to check whether I'd ended up sending you two asks, neither, or one.

I got all your asks just now! I thought you'd confused Monday and Sunday and just pasted the wrong ones, but this makes more sense! Monday is officially Matt Bomer in my brain right now, and I still want the real...Sunday, if Monday is really the con artist?

I'd like to just clarify that having criticisms of Izzy isn't a bad thing, it's just the black-and-white mentality and the way they ignore the very deliberately written show to justify their takes as Inarguably Correct. Most of these people prefer to use buzzwords to argue that we're all bad people for liking Izzy, rather than either talking about their own feelings about him and explaining why they feel those things, or, if that's too much for them (which is also fair), blocking his name from their social medias.

If someone reads Izzy as a homophobic, racist fetishizer and he makes them uncomfortable and unhappy, I'm not one to tell them to go fuck themselves. I just get annoyed when they act like everyone else should agree, regardless of text (racists actively being dealt with the moment they're shown as such) and word of god (izzy is in love with ed) and so on.

(I also think a lot of them forget that there are often Doylist reasons for scenes, such as Wee John sitting down because he has a back injury, not because in-universe Izzy let the white people sit, especially after it was the white guy (Lucius) Izzy spent all of 1x05 telling to actually work god damnit, and he doesn't punish nor scold Fang for letting Lucius off his chores to sketch his dick in the captain's cabin. Which is hysterical when you frame it like that.

My headcanon is also that Wee John also has a back problem much like the guy who plays him, and Izzy was good about it, which is also why his punishment for being a little bitch is no rations for a week rather than something like labor. Izzy was on the ship working with the crew long enough he'd know those things.)

And yes! You are special! You can sign your asks with that if you'd like, so I know it's you, if you're not actively sending messages about Izzy's daddy doms that day :)

#izzy's dd anon #ask

[hangon-silvergirl]

D (just something you wished for & you almost missed ), F, H, I, M, S?

Hi Ariana! Thanks for the ask. 😊

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with just something you wished for & you almost missed?

Yes! The chapter title is from a bonkers Christmas song by the New Kids on the Block called Funky, Funky Xmas. You can listen to it as part of the playlist @majicmarker and I are curating as the chapters are being posted.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

One of my favorite dialogue scenes I've written is the library scene in Chapter 5 of Marigold. I'm proud of it because I think it does what I intended it to do; it's an inflection point in the story, and it's where it shifts into being a love story, a romance; a slow-burn over the course of what is, honestly, an affair. It's built largely on feelings, especially Chrissy's worry, but the way they talk to each other is fundamental. There are a lot of lines that I really like in that section, but I think that this is my favorite bit: The kiss lingers longer than it should given they’re technically in public and that these sorts of encounters should really be more clandestine considering the nature of the thing between them. Eddie alludes to as much when he pulls away, says, “We-- We should probably set, uh. Some ground rules? I don’t-- I’ve never had… Illicit… Uh, you know. Not in a recurring sense. What do we even… No, wait,” he grins. “Tell me, Chrissy Cunningham, what would you call what we’re doing? Hanky-Panky?” “Eddie,” Chrissy says, almost warningly, but genuinely she’s too amused and too well-kissed to really get indignant about his teasing. “Shush. As opposed to what, anyway? What would Eddie Munson call it? Skullduggery?” “What am I, a Hardy boy? Nah. What about a dalliance?” Chrissy scrunches up her nose. “No? Alright, well fling implies that I’m going to give up without a fight, and fat fucking chance Cunningham, so be warned. Love affair makes me feel like I’m feeling up Lady Chatterley, so that’s out.” He’s rambling now, but she doesn’t interrupt, because he’s too cute to be allowed. She bites her bottom lip. “In being upfront about my affections, madam, I’ll say that I pretty much wanna romance the shit out of you, ya know?” Chrissy sighs, brings a hand up to his face. He leans into her palm. “Can we call this a Maybe, maybe? A Could Be, Should Be?” Chrissy swallows hard. She doesn’t really know how to answer without flipping her life like it’s a table. So she kisses him again. “Maybe,” she cautions breathlessly once she pulls away. “I can work with Maybe,” Eddie replies. He gently moves her hand from his face to his chest, over his heart. “Feel that wild beat? Va va voom,” he says, then he takes a deep breath. “I might be, ah, drunk on post-coital reverie still, or like, recovering from whiplash, but. You rocked my world before you helped me rock my van, sunshine, ya know?”

H: How would you describe your style?

Descriptive, predominantly. I have very clear visuals in my head when I'm setting a scene, and I want it, to the extent that it's possible, to be immersive for the reader.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

For writing it's Modern AUs, and especially romantic comedy. I love writing texting in fics (which is not everyone's cup of tea, I know), and I've definitely leaned into the coffee shop AUs. I also love writing character studies. For reading? A little angst is fine here and there, but I love it when a story makes me laugh. I much prefer funny over serious.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Aw, man, I've got so many WIPs on the go. I want to finish a couple of more of them before I start exploring other things, but: - I have a rough outline of additional stories for the Last Chance to Run universe (runaway bride), which will more or less flow like a 90s sitcom style - I'd love to explore these HCs further: Pandemic Roommates, Hollywood Celebrities, and Fake Dating Ahem, I also may or may not be plucking away at a one-shot inspired by this post, where OPs mom met her dad by taking out an ad in the newspaper (and they dated for 3 months over the phone)? Because I have no self-control, I guess. 😅

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Idiots in Love. Pining. Soulmates. Self-aware codependency.

From the FanFic Ask Game. Happy to answer more.

#dash games #ask alie #hellcheer fanfic #hellcheer fanfic: jsywfyam #hellcheer fanfic: marigold #alie's hellcheer headcanons #hellcheer fanfic: the scandal of it all #lunasink

[caught-the-lovebug]

So there is a guy I've been crushing on for years since high school. We recently graduated from college, and one day, I texted him anonymously from a fake Instagram account that I created a few days ago. The conversation at the beginning was smooth. He seemed interested to talk and wanted to know where I was from. I couldn't tell him because I didn't want to. He didn't stress on it, and we talked a little more before I ended the conversation bidding him a good day. I kept thinking and re-reading our conversation. I cringed badly. I wrote him a message blaming it on my cousins that they were the ones who made me text him, and I apologized for the inconvenience. He replied back with "cool." After that, when I asked him a few more questions, he replied bluntly. I finally confessed to him that I had a crush on him for quite a while and appreciated him for his personality. He thanked me with a ☺️ emoji. I even wrote that I was sorry for not texting him from my main account and that texting anonymously must've weirded him out. To which he replied: "You have a main account? I can follow you. What is your account. Tell me." He kept insisting, and I denied saying that I'd be embarrassed if he followed me. He wrote "cool" and didn't see the last text from my side that was "okay." It's been days since he has yet not seen the text.

The thing is I want to keep talking to him but don't want to reveal my identity. He is the most popular good-looking boy. I feel like I just want to be friends online.

Is there an advice as to what I should do about it? My feelings are too much to bear

Straight up, I don't know where you think this can go if you aren't willing to be honest about yourself with him.

Crushes are exciting and scary and we do silly things when emotions run high but what you're talking about sounds a lot like catfishing. And maybe that's not quite correct but it's still not really fair to him.

He wants to get to know you but you're hiding from him. You're pulling him in all sorts of directions, "sorry my cousins made me message you", "but I really like you and have for a while", "sorry for messaging from a random account", "no, I won't share my main".

If a guy was doing that to you, how would you feel?

I, personally, would feel really weird. I might even block them if I felt put off enough. Especially out of high school. As a high schooler, I would have gone along with a lot. But after graduating and a few years out of high school, I feel tired just at the thought of trying to have a conversation with someone being so sketchy.

My advice is to take a breath, ground yourself. Good-looking popular people are just that, people. They have rich inner lives and worlds. Treat them like you would anyone else. With the same grace and kindness. Don't put them on a pedestal, don't treat them like some celebrity.

And my nugget of wisdom is that any relationship, including friendship, thrives on honesty. You don't have to tell people Everything. But I would want someone who is saying they've had a crush on me for a while, to explain how I know them. Give him Context.

#fox gives advice #anon ask

[steellotus54]

This is how you do a pinned post right?

Hiya! I'm Marisa, but you can call me Mari. I've been lurking about for a while now, and I figure it's time I changed that!

Literally everything is below the cut, on account of there being so much text.

My Tags

Whoops, I left this empty on purpose! I’ll add tags here as they become necessary, so check back every once in a while.

What I do (and want to do)

Worldbuilding (Been doing it in some form in my spare time for as long as I can remember. No idea how good any of it is, but I’ll occasionally post about it nonetheless - I love talking about the stuff I make.)

Pixel art (I've lost track of how long I've been doing it for, but nevertheless I'd like to think I'm at least decent at it.)

Game Development (I have too many ideas and must make them. With Godot, of course.)

Make music (Of the chiptune variety specifically. I got famistudio a while ago and I have no clue what I’m doing. I’ll figure something out though.)

Stuff I Like (in no particular order)

Splatoon Franchise (I'm a series vet, played since the first game's testfire!)

Celeste (One of, if not the best example(s) of video games as an art form. I can and will die on this hill.)

Terraria and Minecraft (I'm a sucker for sandboxes where you can build shit. Granted, I'm mediocre at actually doing so, but what can I say.)

Mindustry (The best game you can play on a phone. And it's on steam + itch. And it has official mod support on all platforms. And it's still receiving content updates. And- Dies)

Ultrakill (Sensory overload: the shooter, but it’s fun so I don’t care.)

Octopath Traveler 2 (I'm Very Normal about Castti. I'm totally not obsessed with her what could you possibly be talking about.)

No Man’s Sky

Noita

Slime Rancher

Cult of the Lamb

Electronic and Chiptune music (I fucking love this stuff and I cannot explain why for the life of me.)

Where to find me (and not find me)

You can find me on cohost (where I post my art) and youtube (where I rarely post video devlogs and whatever else comes to mind). Relevantly, you will not find me on tiktok or instagram - I choose not to use either of these platforms for a variety of reasons, and I will not expound upon them.

Boundaries

This list is not a DNI. It describes how I will act or respond regarding certain situations or kinds of people, because that’s how boundaries actually work. Also note that this list is here for transparencies sake and is non-exhaustive. I can and will make liberal use of the block button for reasons not listed.

I block TERFs, radfems, and bigots of any other variety on sight. This is your first and only warning.

Additionally, fuck JK Rowling. If you interact with her works, you’ll get blocked.

While we’re on the subject, don’t refer to me with traditionally masculine terms (dude, bro, and the like) or he/him pronouns - I don’t care what your reasoning is. If you do it once unintentionally as a force of habit I won’t be particularly aggravated, but repeat occurrences will result in a block.

I don't mess with gacha games (or any others that are microtransaction-heavy for that matter) as I believe them to be predatory and unethical. If you recommend that I (or anyone else) play any on my posts, you get blocked.

I'm here to have a nice fun time, NOT to have arguments with randos. Try and pick a fight with me, and you’ll get blocked. Quote: "I am not interested in discourse. I am right."

If I didn't put something here and/or you want clarification about something, I encourage you to ask, but I request that you respect my decision to not disclose information about myself. To state this more clearly: Do not pressure me to post (or otherwise make public) information about myself. If you do, I WILL block you. Who I am offline is none of your business, end of story.

Don’t ask me for donations or to boost a donation post. I understand that finances are tough for a lot of you, but I don’t have the money to spare, nor is this the correct blog to be asking for this kind of assistance from. I will block you if this occurs repeatedly.

Last, but certainly not least: If your blog is untitled and/or lacks a profile picture, I will block you if you follow me. You look like a bot in that instance. I shouldn’t have to explain this.

That just about covers everything! I hope you find my little corner on this hellsite at least somewhat enjoyable to pass through. May good fortune find y'all!

[enteisabo]

guys not to get all up on a high horse but like, you should be telling people what you like about them/their content/their style/etc. genuinely and profoundly, i feel more excitement now about people than i used to when i didn't comment on everything i liked. i started this post thinking more along the lines of content, like fanart and fic and whatnot, but like. i was trying to explain it and realized that all of this came from a much bigger change than just my attitude about art and other people's efforts. so i'm gonna talk more under a read more about that, but like. tl;dr: when you seek out reasons to compliment things, it literally changes your mindset about those things and even yourself. it stops being an active search. you just start seeing the beauty. (cw; mild talk of racism)

the two things that made me make this change were this: first, i hit a point when coming out of my judgmental adolescence where i realized that the things i'd said to people i loved were just mean instead of "friendly ribbing" like i'd treated them. i was a bully as a teenager. secondly, and this is where the habit began, is that i started my journey into activism and anti-racist mindsets. i lived close to one of the big inciting incidents of the BLM movement in america 10 years ago (like, was passed on the highway by the cops responding to riots and took in people nearby to keep them safe), and what i saw made me start noticing patterns in my own thoughts. that despite being in a heavily mixed-race area, i was disproportionately judgmental on a subconscious level. i didn't like what i thought, so every time i found myself saying something judgmental in my head about someone, i complimented them out loud. sometimes they didn't hear me, sometimes i got a quick and awkward "oh, thanks," but sometimes their whole demeanor would shift. it was beautiful to see people just suddenly, genuinely smile. some specific instances are burned into my mind just because of how much it made me happy to see them happy. then it turned into just complimenting people without the negative thing to overwrite. i've never actually talked about the whole "dismantling personal prejudice" thing being the inciting thing for this behavior. but it translated outside of these things too. i started sending asks/DMs/comments telling artists what i felt about their art, and i started to comment on fics more when i read them. people respond to these things. they remember them. and i remember that they remember them, because they've told me and shown me the differences they've made. i know that comments i've left about people's art have gotten them through art block, and things i've said about people when i know they needed to hear encouragement have been put on their walls as reminders. there are a thousand other things that people have probably forgotten, but i know that some of the things i've complimented people on have stuck with them and healed and encouraged, and i fucking THRIVE on that now. i FEEL the lights dim when i shut myself away and say nothing for too long. so just. compliment people. i know it can be scary and awkward; start over text, start online. but it gets easier to compliment people the more you do it, because you see more things to compliment. and when you're seeing more things, that means you're enjoying things more deeply. so tell your favorite writer what you love about their writing or point out something in someone's art that made you swoon. they deserve to hear it and you deserve to experience it.

#charlie rambles