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frekydeki · 2 years

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Birds of a Feather

A/n | It's me again after months of inactivity! How exciting! Here's this angst piece that's been eating me alive for months now :)

Pairing | Midoriya x Reader, Bakugo x Reader

Summary | In which Midoriya is the love of your life, but you're not his. In this, you navigate the stormy waters of heartbreak, and at the eye of the storm, you find Bakugo... But you know what they say: birds of a feather flock together.

Masterlist

|✨ Part 1 ✨| Part 2 | Part 3: In progress |

His car pulled in the apartments full parking lot ten minutes ago. He was officially off work at five. The streetlamps have already buzzed on, and you watch him from your second story apartment window with a dull eye and thin-lined mouth. Suns been long gone, and again, you didn’t bother with dinner tonight. A thoughtless, smile flashes onto your lips before the weight of them tears it right back off. You know better than to bother with things like that. At this point, you know much, much better.

You clench the curtain tighter as the door of your boyfriend's car is thrown open, and he steps out. He eyes the windows of your shared apartment, and the look on his face while he does it makes your stomach burn and twist. A heavy frown, flat brows, a distant, almost resentful look in his darkened green eyes. You drop the curtain and wrap your arms around your torso. You’re tired of that look.

God you’re so tired of that look. At dinner, during a movie, while you’re out at friends, while he’s simply taking a phone call from you; you can hear the tone he makes when he makes that stupid face. Once, you were enraptured with the idea of discovering every expression he could make with that face. That was… What? Five years ago? Four solid years before he made the expression that would beat you down into the sad person you are now. A sad human who stood by the window of their cold apartment, staring at the street – trembling – pleading for his car to finally pull in. The person who, when he finally did come home, felt so raw that they wanted him to turn right around.

Your confidence is shot. You pace the carpeted floor in front of the door. Your goals and dreams have been misaligned, and you’re left staring at a blur of what you want. You begin to bite your nail and send glances to the light coming in from the lit walkway. First you thought it was you. It was your fault that you were so tired when you came home from work, so you went to bed earlier, took sleeping supplements, and vitamins to help convert the food you ate into energy. He stayed later at work, so you spent more time working into your hobbies, keeping up with the house; you were home longer than him, so it was only right you had the apartment clean as a whistle and dinner on the table by the time he got home. He started to drift away around that time, and you panicked. He’d be too tired to talk after he got home, wanted some time alone, would rather be out with his friends; it was your fault. You did everything you could to earn his attentions again. For the better half of a year, you desperately clung to him.

Everything you've done, you've done for him. It shows. Because now, at the cusp of losing him, you know damn well you're going to lose everything you've worked for.

When was it? July? Well, somewhere around that time is when you first saw her name flash onto his phone screen; Uraraka. Just a friend. Like a sister. From there, it was all pointed fingers, short sentences, and rare smiles with him. You’ve tried. You’ve blamed it all on yourself.

The door handle jiggles with the sound of his keys unlocking it. It’s always been your fault so far. Light floods in as he quietly opens the door, and purposefully closes it as quietly as he can. You bite the inside of your cheek as he shuffles quietly, removing his shoes and shrugging off his jacket, without flicking on any lights. Bad idea though, cause -

He curses as he kicks the pile you’ve left by the door; he nearly falls. With a frustrated growl, he flicks on the entryway light and takes in the stack of suitcases and boxes.

“What the hell?” He sighs to himself, “What’s she doing now?” Your eyes bite with tears at the aggravation in his voice; how can he already be upset with you when you haven’t spoken a single word to him all day? It’s always been your fault, but when he finally meets your eye, only one thing echoes through your mind:

This is all his fault.

“Y/n!” Midoriya quietly calls. “What are you still doing up?” You swallow, trying to remember the things you’ve rehearsed all night long. You had a long monologue of heartrending lines and final words, but it's all just gone. His attention is redrawn to the things piled by the door, and he shoots his thumb over his shoulder toward them, “What’s up with the luggage?”

“It’s your things.” You curtly respond. His head falls and he returns his hand into the pockets of his jeans. He nods slowly.

“I… Guess I knew this was coming.” His voice is somehow even quieter than it was just a second ago. Almost a whisper, but in this silent apartment, you’re sure you’d be able to hear a ghost walking. “Y/n I –“

“Were you with Uraraka?” His big eyes fling up to yours, and it sends heat through your body to see the tears already collecting in his eyes. Why is he the one crying?

“Yes. I-“

“You’re cheating, then?”

“No, Y/n, I never… We never did that.” He closes the space between the two of you, reaching out to touch you, but you pull away, “We never did…” A loud breath spills from him, and his quavering voice finishes his sentence, “Anything.” You watch him; if he didn’t cheat, then what’s the problem? You could stay with him… But the feeling bunching in your stomach eats away at your mind; he’s not telling you everything.

“Tell me the truth, Midoriya.” Your tone is dry, flat. You’ve cried enough, so you steel your lip and eye to him. The young man sends you a defeated look as his shoulders slump and he brings his shaking fingers to rub his eyes.

“I wouldn’t cheat on you, Y/n. I couldn’t do that to you…”

“But you’re not telling me everything. I’ve been with you for five years, don’t think I don’t know what you look like when you’re hiding something.” You say. You’ve studied him closer than any other person in this world. No one knows this superhero better than you, and the way he can’t look you in the eye without dropping his head afterwards tells you everything you need to know.

“I…” A sob racks his body and you grind your teeth – why the fuck is he the one crying? “I love her.”

Oh.

“I didn’t want to…” Midoriya has dissolved into sobs before you. Sputtering and spitting excuses and justifications. “We just spent so much time together at work… An-“ His voice cuts out and he finally brings his eyes to you, “And before I knew it…”

“You’re making such a big deal over it…” You whisper. He loves her... So what? Your knees run numb and cold, and your hands and elbows soon follow. With tingling at the back of your head, you move to sit heavily on the couch. Midoriya stays rigid in his spot.

“I tried so hard to ignore it. But she just kept taking up more and more of my mind. I loved her again before I knew it. I don’t think I ever stopped loving her… Not since highschool.” He sniffles, “I never should’ve looked for her in you… I’m sorry.”

“Why the fuck did you stay with me then?” You snap with narrow eyes. You rarely let the feeling tightening your chest get the better of you, but this time, you don’t care to fight it. You want to hurt him. You want to watch him shrink the way he made you. Oh, if only you could inflict half of what he did to you…

“I couldn’t hurt you!” He cries. “You were so invested in the relationship I felt horrible-“

“You felt horrible? You didn’t want to hurt me? Midoriya fucking look at me! Do you think that you didn’t hurt me?” He grimaces at your words, face twisting into another sob; God you hate that he cries so easily.

“I.. I’m sorry, Y/n.” Is about all he can seem to blubber to you.

“What about Bakugou?”

“Uraraka is going to leave him.” The shame is heavy on his shoulders as Midoriya finally takes a seat farthest away from you.

“He’s your best friend, Midoriya!” You scoff. “Do you know what you’re doing? Did you think about any of us?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I… You know what?” You surrender your hands while standing quickly and taking up the keys he left on the coffee table. Removing the apartment key, you say, “I don’t think we have anything else to say to each other. Everything you own is in those boxes.” He stands and accepts his keys from you.

“Y/n-“

“Make sure to lock the door when you’re finished taking everything out.” You send him a firm, stone cold look before turning on your heel and marching toward the door at the end of the hallway.

“We can’t stay friends… Can we?” You stop in your tracks. Why would you ever do that? He has taken every piece of strength you had over the years, left you a shell of the person. It’s not like he did it on purpose, but the way he made you feel strangled the person you once were.

“No, Midoriya.” With that you quickly speed into the back bedroom and slam the door shut. You rest your back against the door for a second before you crawl into your bed; it’s so comfortable. You nuzzle into the blankets, wrapping them over every inch of your body, and listen to the shuffling of Midoriya removing his things. You watch the way the streetlamp illuminates the ceiling of your room without a thought in your mind. Until you flinch at the sounds of the entryway light being turned off, and the door locked.

He’s gone.

Your eyes flutter shut, the tears that you have been fighting to keep in the whole time finally start slipping over your cheeks.

…

It was a long time coming. You had months to prepare yourself for the end that you saw clear as day – you did prepare a little bit, evident of the dry cheeks you have at the bar you've found yourself skulking at five hours later – yet you still feel tense and trapped under the weight tearing a hole in your chest. That must mean that you love Midoriya a hell of a lot more than you thought; your head falls quickly.

This bar – grimy and dim, air polluted with rolling smoke from cigarettes and blunts, music quiet but voices loud – is the perfect retreat from the apartment you had shared with Midoriya these past years. The walls had closed in on you, so tight that you came to in a ball on your kitchen floor, sink still running, and moonlight dripping in through the curtains. None of the patrons bother you much; the thing these bearded and heavy-set men know best is the look of a person who just wants to stop existing for a little. They gave you forty-five minutes of complete ignorance before the bartender taps your glass with his finger.

“What’s next?” Your eyes dart up to look at him.

“Same thing.” He nods curtly.

“On the house.” A small smile flashes onto your lips for a mere second.

“Thanks.” You watch his skillful hands mix together a tall drink for you and accept it with a grateful bow to your head.

“I thought I’d find you here.” You freeze with the glass just touching your lips. You know that gravelly voice anywhere. That means that the man you almost dread to see more than Midoriya is sliding into the barstool next to you. Your neck pinches painfully as you resume the slumped position you’ve been stuck in all night.

“How are you, Bakugo?” You’re surprised to not hear him scoff. There’s no cuss words sloppily strung together and thrown at random. It’s complete silence next to you as he orders a whiskey – he never drinks when you’d all meet at the bar – and taps his fingers against the scratched up bar.

“Tonight was a little fuckin’ much.” He lowly says. He doesn’t need to elaborate. You know what he’s talking about. You probably understand him better than anyone else in this world.

“’m sorry.” Another beat of silence between you two.

“Thanks,” Bakugo takes a large swig of the drink the bartender just slid him, “I’m sorry too…” Bringing your eyes up to Bakugo’s face, your shocked to find his ruby eyes reddened, but as dry as yours are. Mouth in a heavy frown, brow furrowed, jacket hastily thrown on, and crimson eyes so distant you almost get sick looking into them. You might understand him best right now, but you think he must be much more crushed than you… Midoriya was his best friend, after all… And Uraraka was his fiancé. To lose both in one night…

Your eyes prickle with tears as you stare over at him. He flinches as he notices your gaze.

“How could they do this?” You slap your hand over your eyes, rubbing away the wetness and simply smearing it over your cheeks. How could they do this to Bakugo? To you? Bakugo takes his eyes from you and hisses in a breath between his teeth. He only takes another drink and weakly shrugs his shoulders.

“They ‘love’,” He spits the words out and makes quotations in the air, “each other.”

But Midoriya swore he loved you. You take in a sharp breath and grip your drink tightly. Helplessness begins to quake in your body; what can you do? You have no control over it… You can’t make him love you. Even if you fell to your knees and begged. Even if you dedicated every waking breath to him… He said he loves her now, and you can’t control that…

"Well, their definition of love is a little wonky if you ask me." You mumble to him. Midoriya said he loved you for five years, and Uraraka loved Bakugo when they first started dating back in high school. Is it really love if they can just throw it aside like that?

You down the rest of your drink – the cup still three-fourths full – and earn a few praises from college students down the bar. You ignore their hollering and clench your jaw to get the revolting taste lingering across your tongue out of your mouth.

“How do you fall in love with someone when you’re already ‘in love’,” You make your own exaggerated quotations, “with someone else?”

“Couldn’t say.” Bakugo finishes off his own drink and waves down the bartender, “You got a tab?” You nod despondently. “Keep ‘em coming.”

“Sure thing, boss.”

“If it was that easy for them to do it…” You mindlessly wonder to Bakugo, “Then it should be just as easy for us to.”

“You’re saying some exceptionally dumb shit already tonight. Are you drunk?” You don’t respond. Are you drunk? You feel… You’re not sure how you feel. “How many have you had?”

“Um… Two? Maybe three?”

“Ah, got a head start, hm?” He leans forward and catches your eye. “Don’t fool yourself, Y/n. You loved Deku earnestly. There’s no way you can just fall in love with someone else that easy.” He holds your searching gaze steadily. Hearing him say those words almost makes you want to crumble again. To hear someone else say that you truly love Midoriya, and knowing that you’ve lost him forever…

“What about you?” You whisper to him. Is he hurting as terribly as you? Does he love Uraraka as much as you love Midoriya? His jaw tightens and, accepting the drinks from the bartender and sliding yours into your hand, his head nods loosely.

“Yeah… If I could just fall in love with someone else that easily, I wouldn’t have wasted my time in the first place.” You knew that… You’re not even sure why you made him say it out loud. You turn back to face the bar and stare down into the murky liquid in your cup. Here you both are at the bar because you both can’t stand to be at the place you were building a life with those bastards at. He and Uraraka have a house together…

“You got a place to crash?” Bakugo smacks his lips and pulls his phone from his pocket. Checking the screen, the number of notifications is almost mortifying to you; and they just keep coming.

“I asked Kirishima, but he’s not got much room in his house.”

“Well, he does live with Denki and Mina.” In a two-bedroom house at that. People have to fight tooth and nail to get a damn place to sit at that place when they have little parties or gatherings.

“A couch is a couch, though. Better than sleeping in the car.” You watch him quietly. “But maybe if I crash in the car I can get some damn peace and quiet. With those three nutjobs in the same room I’d never hear the end of it.” Yeah. So soon after he found out ahout the situation himself; it’d be painful to have to listen to everyone else’s input on it. Somehow, you feel a slight sense of gratefulness that you still have the apartment to yourself.

“You can stay with me.” You blurt. You have an empty apartment now, and the room that was Midoriya’s office will be an empty shell soon enough. “If you want, that is.” You add as his silence drags out.

“Is it really okay if I crash on your couch tonight?” You worry your bottom lip between your teeth. Frankly, you were dreading having to go back to that dark, quiet, and empty apartment since you flopped into this stool. To face the reality of that silence, and accept that even though everything looks almost exactly the same, it’s all completely different now. You don’t want to face that alone. So when you nod, you wonder if you’re being a little bit selfish in inviting him to stay with you. Sure, you want to give Bakugo somewhere comfortable to rest his head tonight, but you’re well aware that, in the end, you’re doing this for yourself.

“Please do… I don’t think I want to be alone tonight.” You quietly say. Maybe if you admit your motivation, you won’t feel so silly. A chuckle falls from his dry throat, and he wets his throat.

"Even if it’s me there?” He teases. You send him a sharp and hardened glare. Your friendship with Bakugo was strained in the beginning – that’s putting it lightly – but you’ve both warmed up to each other over the years.

“I think you’re the only person I would invite right now.” Bakugo’s smile faulters as he gazes at you before a grin stretches onto his lips.

“We bonding over mutual heartbreak right now?”

“Yeah. Just wait until heartbreak becomes revenge.”

“Revenge?” The word almost looks like it sends a shiver down Bakugo’s back the way his eyes glaze over with a warm sparkle. That, or the alcohols touching him already. You haven’t been keeping track of the shots and drinks he’s put down, but the bartender sure listened when he was told to keep the drinks coming. “Sure sounds nice… But we’re not kids. What’ll you do? Send ‘em a cake that says ‘Fuck you’?” You giggle, and he does too. “That does sound like something you’re capable of.”

“I might not have very evil ideas, but I have you for that… The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and seeking revenge is better done in pairs.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” He mumbles over his drink.

“Anyways… No one knows what you’re going through better than me… ‘N I don’t think anyone can know just how awful I feel,” Your head has fallen, “’cept you.” He watches you before his hand pats heavily down onto your shoulder.

“You really are drunk aren’t you? You’re getting sappy.”

“Wanna start talking revenge instead, then?” He pushes a shot – you have no idea what the liquid is sloshing around in it – to you with a grin breaking onto his lips.

“Preferably. You know I like my drunks prickly and not gooey.”

“Step one of revenge: We have to get drunk as hell tonight, forget that we ever cared.”

“Well check that one off your list.”

“What ‘bout you?”

“Give me a few more shots and I think I could show you how to do the moonwalk.”

“You can do the moonwalk?”

“No, but I’m sure I could.” A laugh bubbles past your lips.

“Let’s get you a few more drinks, then!” You order another whiskey for him and a fruity drink for yourself… Really, you know you should stop, but you’re hoping that a little more of this and Bakugo’s low, quiet laughter, and you might feel a little lighter.

“What’s step two?” He drags you back to the topic at hand.

“Step two?” You hum as you consider and cross your arms over your chest. “Step two: We wake up tomorrow and eat our favorite breakfast. That’ll lead right to step three-“

“-Baking?”

“Being happy.” He watches you with a quirked eyebrow. “Our stomachs will be full, and we’ll have our dear friend with us-“

“Who said you were my dear friend?” He barks.

“Shut up.” You don’t miss a beat in continuing on your evil plot, “We won’t be alone like they made us. Step five-“

“Step four.” He corrects.

“Fine, four, whatever. Step four: we get the cake.”

“You are so evil. Who raised you?” Bakugo teases you yet again with a small smile sticking on his lips. The weight of tonight still deepens his red eyes, you can see it the way his are lidded, but the smile is still genuine. Your chest lightens a litte as you grin back at him.

“Step five: after taking our anger out through the cake, we’re free from it all! We are happy, and okay without them.”

“I’m astonished.” He watches you. “You plan to take revenge by showing Midoriya that you don’t need him?” Your mouth drills shut. Watching Bakugo, you try and tame the wavering of your lips and blink away the tears blurring your sight; that’s your plan. That’s all you can do.

“Well, do you have any better ideas, hotshot?” You snap at the man grumbling at your side. What else can you do?

“Get with someone else.” You gawk at him. That’s his grand idea of revenge?

“Bakugo, that’s basically the same thing as what I said.”

“No, it’s not. You’ve got a whole five step plan. Mine is just one. Get with someone else.”

“You said that you and I can’t do that.” You quietly counter.

“I said we couldn’t just turn around and fall in love with someone else… But getting with someone and falling in love are completely different things.”

“What about the other person?” You wonder to him.

“What about ‘em?”

“You’ll just be doing what Uraraka did to you, to them.” His lips pull into a thin line. He’d just be using them, wasting their time; that’s not something Bakugo could do. He’s an asshole, just not that kind of asshole. “Maybe you’ll get lucky and find someone who’s willing to help you take revenge.”

“You did say revenge takes two.” You smile and nod mindlessly before your body goes rigid. You could help him take revenge! You just so happen to be trying to get revenge too!

“Bakugo!” You gasp. He jumps, eye widening and staring at you. You press your hand to your chest. “I could help you!”

“How?”

“You could get with me!” He blinks at you. A laugh pushes from him before the smile falls.

“You’re drunk… Maybe we should turn in for the night?” He waves the bartender down.

“I can help! You won’t be wasting my time because I’m not looking for a relationship, but we can both still get our revenge.”

“Revenge isn’t what we need.” He stands, waving down the bartender and getting out his wallet.

"Who else is better to help you than me? I'm your friend," You begin to count reasons on your fingers, "I know what you're going through, I have no expectations, and we want payback on the same people."

"Really, Y/n... I don't need payback. Sure, sounds nice to see it all flung back in their face but..." He trails off, his eye becoming distant again.

“You’re the one who wanted to talk about it.” You pout as you lean back and turn your attention away.

“I was just kidding. There’s no way I’m going to do something so childish as ‘get revenge’. There’s nothing to avenge.” He pays the tab and gently pulls your chair out. He cages you between the barstool and bar with his arms and levels his eyes to yours. “Relationships end like this all the time. There’s no rule saying they can’t fall in love with someone else…” He clenches his jaw and pulls back, looking away. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he adds in a rough tone, “We just have to accept it.”

Your chest twists again.

There’s no one to blame? This just happened to you? Things like this – being shattered into pieces – happens all the time, for no reason. The thought that there’s no one to blame for how horrid you feel, no one for you to blame for taking everything away; it just happened, and you’re powerless against it?

Before you can think better of it, your body is quaking, lips trembling, and tears spilling over your cheeks. You stare up to Bakugo obstinately.

“I don’t want to accept it.” You breathe. You just have to accept that you lost everything in one night? That it just so happened to happen? That there was nothing that could’ve been said or done differently to spare you the pain? That everything is exactly as it should be?

“Fuck, Y/n.” His shoulders slump slightly as he looks around to hand out dangerous looks to the onlooking bar patrons. He closes in on you, and you stiffen when you feel his strong arms take you into them. “Don’t cry.” His own voice is hoarse.

“I don’t want to accept it.” You repeat.

“I know…” You can feel Bakugo nod from where he rests his chin on your head. “But, let’s head back to the apartment for now and get some rest. We can plot the rest of our revenge over step two in the morning.” You nod; the more you think about being out of the dense crowd and in the quiet comfort of your apartment, the deeper your desire to leave embeds itself into your limbs.

Bakugo and you stumble from the bar together and to his car.

“We can send them their least favorite foods.” You mindlessly blurt as you stare blankly our the passenger window. Bakugo chuckles dryly.

“Not a bad idea.” You’ve got no control over the words spilling out of your mouth, and your head is spinning too much for you to think twice about them.

“If you ever need someone to get with for revenge, come to me first.” Your head lolls to try and find his dark figure. “I will help you.”

“Thanks, but like I said; let’s plot revenge tomorrow.”

“I know you said that but you have to promise me Bakugo.” His lips pull into a thin line, and his hands tighten on his steering wheel. He’s quiet as his jaw clenches and unclenches. “Bakugo, promise me.”

“Okay.” He sighs heavily. “Alright. I promise.”

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#mha x reader #izuku x reader #mha bakugou #bnha katsuki bakugou #bakugo katsuki x reader #reader insert #fanfiction #fanfic #x reader #Bakugo x reader angst #bakugo x gn reader #midoriya x reader angst #honestly I hate doing this part #tags suck #i’m just gonna leave this here

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