#i’d rather just have 5 socks

[bandsanitizer]

whEN will 5sos release 5socks??? they can even capitalize on that shit and sell packs of five socks so people need to buy two sets in order to have an even number!!! like what are they DOING??!? sleeping on that?!?! 5SAUCE GIVE US 5SOCKS!!

#if max can release socks cos everyone thought that’s what the vinyls were mean that 5sos can have 5socks #gimmeeeee #alison speaks? #5sos #not that i support capitalism but they obviously do #i’d rather just have 5 socks

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

As someone who has kind of convinced themselves Izzy is gonna die at the end of S2, could you share your reasons why you think he won't? I'm sure a lot of us who think he's doomed could use some ideas as to otherwise. And who do you think is being buried in that grave scene in the Behind the scenes video? I'd love to hear your thoughts!!!

Hey, first of all, this is the first ask I’ve ever got, so thanks ☺️

Okay, so, there’s been so many posts recently with much more elaborate and better-argued takes than mine, and I can’t really take credit for anything I’m going to say here because none of these thoughts are original, really… but anyway.

I was surprised how quickly and strongly people seemed to have latched onto the “Izzy’s gonna die” train based on, as far as I'm concerned, nothing more than a couple of vague BTS bits and a general sense of foreboding caused by previous experience with stories like these.

First of all, the BTS pictures and videos. Namely the bit where Izzy seems to be lying down and the one with the grave. It’s a massive stretch at best. I think Izzy’s likely to get injured at some point, but this could literally be anything, we can’t even see what’s going on. This could be a fuckery. At one point Ed is holding out his hand stained with blood, but we don’t even know whose blood it is. Same for the grave. Izzy isn’t the only crew member missing from the ring of people standing around it. We know there’s going to be a big battle in E08, so it's not surprising someone would die, but there’s simply no proof and not at all likely it would be Izzy.

Also, think about it. Izzy’s a sailor. Sailors typically get burried at sea. The only other place I could imagine him wanting to be buried at is next to his family in England, but that might just not be feasible, so he’d most likely get burried at sea. The way I see it, he’d much rather rest on the ocean floor than some random beach in the Republic of Pirates, a place he claimed to hate in S01.

Another thing: the creators of the show know how rabid this fanbase is. They knew we were going to painstakingly pick apart and overanalyse every single frame of every morsel of promotional content we could get our hands on. So far they’ve gone to great lengths to avoid major spoilers. They even changed Ed’s line in the trailer where he said “and, more importantly, no more Izzy” (replaced it with “no more Stede”) in order not to reveal the plotline of Ed shooting Izzy, even though that line was pretty vague and could have been up to interpretation. So how likely is it that they would reveal a major character’s death in several frames of BTS material? Just not very likely at all, I’d say.

Then I’ve seen a few people argue that the writers want to get rid of Con because doing the CGI for the unicorn leg is too expensive and inconvenient. I’m calling bullshit on that one too. Admittedly, I don’t know much about CGI, but Con literally just has to wear a green sock over his boot or something like that, and it’s not that hard to frame it in a way that makes his leg less visible. So far we’ve had a lot of shots with him just sitting there, or where he was filmed from the waist up. I imagine it wasn’t easy for Con to mimic moving like he was missing a leg, but he nailed it perfectly, and he seemed to have an easier time walking around in episodes 6 and 7 compared to ep 5, so he won’t have to keep up the severe limping to the same extent. At this point Izzy is the third major character after Stede an Ed. There’s no way they’d get rid of him just because of a minor cinematographic inconvenience like that.

And then there’s the fact that nobody actually dies in this show except for the villains. David Jenkins took the “bury your gays” trope and turned it into “make your gays unkillable”. This is literally the show that gave us recreational gut stabbing. There’s only a couple of exceptions, but they were all very minor characters or, well, a bird… I really liked Ivan, but he was easily the least important character out of all the crew members, and probably the only reason his death was offscreen was because the actor quit after S01. There’s no indication that Con wants to quit, it’s obvious he’s having the time of his life with this role, so it’s very unlikely he would sacrifice it for some other project.

What OFMD does love, on the other hand, is characters appearing to die, only to end up surviving against all odds. That’s, like, its signature trait by now. None of us really believed Lucius was going to die, even though logically it was extremely unlikely he wouldn't just drown immediately. They didn’t even bother to explain it properly, that’s how little this show cares for realism. And we love that about it. Izzy himself has already had not one, not two, but THREE instances like that: the dream sequence scene, getting shot in the leg, then surviving his suicide attempt. If he happened to actually die for real now, that would just be bad storytelling.

Speaking of storytelling… That’s really the main reason I don’t believe Izzy’s going to die. I know a lot of people are hung up on the whole “his narrative arc is complete and he has served his purpose as a character” thing, and in any other show that might be true, but not this one. OFMD isn’t just a show, it’s a love letter to the queer community. Izzy is now a representation of a queer person discovering himself and being accepted into the found family. He figuratively embodies the spirit of the Revenge. The physical unicorn figurine was destroyed, but the crew managed to use something “broken” and give it a new life. If the show did this only to kill Izzy off right afterwards, that would feel like a slap in the face. It wouldn't complete his character arc, it would undo it. It would be way worse than another show killing off some character that simply happened to be gay. It would feel like killing a character off specifically because they finally found some happiness in being gay, right after reaching the peak of their personal development as a queer character. It would feel deliberately mean rather than merely thoughtless.

And it would make the very first scene of S2 kind of meaningless, too. That dream sequence specifically showed us what was not going to happen. Izzy wasn’t going to stand between Stede and Ed anymore. Izzy and Stede weren’t going to be enemies anymore. Ed wasn’t going to melt into Stede’s arms and immediately forget all that’s happened. And Izzy isn’t going to die. Simple as that.

#oh boy I've done it again haven't I #wrote a sloppy meta commentary novel #full disclosure this is roughly 80% my true objective unbiased opinion and 20% industrial strength cope #but we'll see #this rambly baby is gonna age like like fine whisky #you mark my words #izzy hands #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

[markhoffmans-certified-slut]

Older Brothers Best Friend 

Pairing: Corey Cunningham x f!reader 

Prompt/summary: You’d known him nearly your entire life, and at least half of the time you’d had a crush on him. Now that the two of you are older, the jokes started to get flirty between you when you were alone. When your parents are gone and your brother is asleep on the sofa, it’s the perfect opportunity to talk to Corey who’s also awake in the middle of the night. But when things go from lighthearted jokes to something more, how will the night end? 

Word count: 6.5K

Warnings/contents: Strong language, light fluff, smut: clit stimulation, fingering, oral, light nipple stimulation. 

Notes: I know a few of you have been waiting very patiently for this chapter and I hope that it meets your expectations! I started this off a completely different direction, but the inspiration wasn’t flowing until I thought about this story and it all seemed to just piece together. It was enjoyable to write, Corey needs more attention 😭

I proofread this, but it's also really long and I'm dyslexic, so... here's to hoping it's all right. I know I had to correct a couple small things.

<>~<>~<>

With a yawn, you rolled over in your bed and stretched your legs. You’d been curled up for the past few hours in the same position. Your shoulder ached from how you had been laying. With a soft grunt, you checked your phone and winced at the bright screen. It was 2 o’clock in the morning. By accident, you had fallen asleep around 7 o’clock this evening. Your stomach growled since you hadn’t eaten dinner. 

Deciding to get up and get a snack, you forced yourself from the warmth of your blankets and yawned quietly. You could hear the faint sound of the television on downstairs. Your parents were gone for the night, so of course your brother had invited Corey over and the two of them were watching stupid movies in the living room. 

You were quick to slip your socks and sweatpants on in an attempt to stay warm, but you shivered when you left your room. The rest of the house was rather cold, but the heater in your room kept you nice and toasty. Your brother always complained that it was too hot in there which meant for the winter months, he often didn’t come pester you. 

As quietly as you could, you crept down the stairs. You peeked into the living room and saw your brother passed out on the sofa, but Corey wasn’t there. Shrugging it off, you headed for the kitchen. You had known Corey since you were 5 years old, you didn’t think it mattered if you ran into him in the kitchen in the middle of the night. 

Sure enough, the man was in the kitchen getting something from the fridge. He heard you walk in and sent you a small smile. 

“Can’t sleep?” He asked, then he showed you the snack he had in his hand. “I brought it.” 

“Honestly, Corey, I don’t really give a shit if you eat our food.” He gave a soft laugh and stepped out of your way. “But no, I can’t sleep. I fell asleep super early. What about you, why are you awake?” 

“Your brother snores like the devil, how could anybody sleep near him?” You laughed this time and raided the refrigerator, though you were quickly reminded that you lacked a bra. “So, how have you been?” He asked, leaning against the counter across from you. “How’s school? How’s your boyfriend?” 

“School is fine. I’m excited to be done, honestly. As soon as this year is over I graduate. But that’s also kind of scary, honestly.” You sighed and shut the fridge with nothing in your hand. “And my boyfriend? He’s a cheating piece of shit.” 

“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry.” 

“It’s okay. I’d rather know now that he and my friend were secretly fucking the whole time than marry him and have to find out then.” You turned, crossing your arms over your chest beforehand, and looked at him. You sent him a small smile. “So, what about you? Any pretty girls you’re talking to?” 

“I’m talking to one now.” You laughed. 

“I meant in general, dingbat.” He gave a soft chuckle and shook his head as he looked down. 

“Not really, I’m not exactly the most popular guy in town.” You were quiet. “You, your brother and my parents are pretty much the only people I ever talk to.” 

“I’m sorry.” He shrugged. “Well, you know you’re always welcome around here. Even if my brother isn’t around, I like hanging out with you, too.” He sent you another small smile. 

“Well, I like hanging out with you, too. I appreciate it, really.” 

“Do you ever get lonely?” You asked, slowly walking beside the man and leaning against the counter beside him. “I’m sure it really… sucks.” 

“It’s hard to get too lonely. Your brother texts me a lot. I know that… not everybody hates me, but…” He stopped talking and looked down again. You decided to drop the conversation. 

“Well, I was supposed to go to this concert with my friend you know, but she’s a two-faced, backstabbing road-whore who blew my boyfriend in a Wendy’s bathroom at 2 in the morning, so… maybe you wanna go with me?” 

“Road whore, really?” He chuckled. “Sorry.” 

“No, it’s funny.” You shrugged. “Like I said, I’m just glad I found out now.” 

“Why don’t you ask your brother to go with you?” 

“Maybe… I wanted to go with you.” He raised an eyebrow at you. 

“Why would you want to do that?” 

“Because, I like you.” Gently, you bumped your shoulder into his arm and made him smile. “I know you were always kind of my brothers friend, but I feel like since we’re so close in age we started to kind of become friends, too.” Your cheeks flushed quickly. "Unless I was wrong—“ 

“God, no,” he was quick to cut you off, “You aren’t wrong. We’re friends, too.” Relief flushed over your whole body. “It just… isn’t great publicity to be hanging around me so much.” 

“Who fucking cares what those simple-minded dickwads think about you anyways, Corey.” You scoffed, shocking the man. “You’re a hot guy who rides a motorcycle now.” 

“I appreciate you a lot, and I really don’t want to sound like a dick, but you couldn’t ever understand what it’s like for an entire town to look at you like they wish you never came home.” His tone was soft, so was his sigh. “I think it would have been easier on everybody if somebody killed me in prison.” 

“It wouldn’t have been easy on my brother. Or me.” You added quietly. “My parents like you, they always have. One day things won’t suck so bad. You’ll be away from here eventually.” 

“And what, leave you?” He joked. “You look cold.” He was simply changing the subject, but you worried he had seen your hardened nipples when you moved. You quickly tightened your arms across yourself. 

“A little bit.” 

“Why didn’t you get a blanket?” 

“I didn’t think anybody would be awake and it would be a quick trip.” You moved away from him and rummaged through the cabinets, grabbing a sleeve of crackers and getting a drink from the fridge. “You think you’re gonna be up for awhile?” Corey watched you until you turned around. 

“Probably. I was thinking I’d go to your brothers room. It’s at least quieter in there.” You gave a soft laugh and shut the fridge. 

“If you’re going upstairs anyways, could you possibly carry this for me?” You grabbed a second snack from the cabinet and gestured to your drink. Not only did you want to continue talking to the man, but you weren’t sure what you wanted to eat and both of the things you chose sounded good. 

“Sure.” He grabbed the drink and followed you, creeping quietly past your brother. Nothing had ever happened between the two of you, nor did your brother ever know about Corey’s crush on you or your mutual shared feelings for him (or the joking flirting that the two of you frequently engaged in), but Corey had always worried that your brother might not like the two of you spending so much time alone together. Especially not in your room. 

The two of you made it to the top of the stairs, then to your room where it was warm. Corey gave a soft sigh as he set your drink down on the nightstand. 

“God, it’s warm in here.” You giggled and nodded. 

“I get cold.” 

“I guess you do,” he teased as you rolled your eyes with a small grin on your face. “Do you need anything else?” 

“No, I’m good.” You smiled at him. “You know, if you want, you can stay. I was gonna watch a movie. If the heat doesn’t kill you.” Corey gave a soft laugh and looked at your bed almost hesitantly. “I don’t bite.” 

“I’m sure you don’t.” 

“What, do you?” You teased the man who’s face was quick to flush. 

“No.” He said with a slight laugh, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. Your cheeks were quick to warm now as a short moment of silence washed over the two of you. 

“Uh, well… I’m gonna watch something, so… feel free to stay if you want.” 

“And sit… here?” He asked, looking back to your bed. “Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Would… would he get upset?” 

“Well… I don’t think so?” You frowned. “You can always just shut the door if that’s what you’re worried about.” 

“That feels… sneaky.” 

“What, you’ve never been sneaky before?” 

“Not with you.” You hesitated for a second. 

“Well it’s not like you want to be sneaky with me, so it shouldn’t matter, right?” Corey stared at you for a second. “What?” He shook his head and turned to shut the door. 

“Nothing.” 

“Well then it shouldn’t be a problem, right?” 

“Yeah, yeah— no, I mean no, it shouldn’t be… a problem.” You raised an eyebrow at the man. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“No.” 

“How come?” 

“I don’t know, it’s stupid.” You patted the spot on the bed next to you. 

“You could tell me.” 

“I’ve never… been alone with you in a room with the door closed.” Instead of sitting with you, Corey anxiously shifted his weight to his other leg. 

“Okay…?” 

“I mean… call me crazy but there’s something… here, isn’t there?” You frowned. 

“In my room?” 

“No—“ he huffed, “I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong.” 

“Well, wait— explain it to me a little bit.” 

“Are we not always flirting with each other?” He seemed to blurt out. “Am I making it up?” You sighed and looked down. “Goddammit, now I made things weird.” He rubbed his eyes and gave a defeated sigh as his shoulders slumped. “Look, I’m sorry— I misread the situation. I’m just gonna go back to your brothers room.” 

“No, hey— wait.” You stood up and walked towards the man, but you stopped a few feet away from him. “Okay— yes, you’re right. We are sort of always flirting with each other, but I didn’t… I’m not great at this whole… thing.” 

“What thing?” 

“My boyfriend cheated on me because I don’t know how to do the whole emotions thing and she did.” 

“No, he cheated on you because he was a sneaky piece of shit.” 

“Okay, that too,” you agreed, “But… you get my point.” He nodded softly. “I wouldn’t have ever known how to just tell you that I thought you were attractive.” He was quiet for a second before he spoke again. 

“Well, you just did.” Your face was hot as you avoided eye contact with him. “I guess I’m not exactly one to talk.”

“We’re kind of a mess here, huh?” You laughed. 

“I guess we are.” 

“I didn’t mean anything weird by this, you know.” You added. “Bringing you in here. I didn’t want to… make you think anything like that. I think you’re cute but I really do like you, Corey. I know that… after everything happened you kinda pulled away, but I’ve never thought anything less of you.” 

“I know. But I still think maybe you should.” 

“That’s dumb. I’ve known you since I was 5. I think if anybody has good reason to trust you, it’s both my brother and I.” 

“Do you ever think that something like this would make you out to be a bad guy, too?” You frowned. “Don’t you already get enough shit for being friends with me?” Despite his now tougher demeanor, Corey reminded you now of the little boy he once was. “What you want to go out with me or hold my hand and then what? Everybody would hate you, too.” 

“I don’t know who you think I am, but I’ve never really given a shit what people think about me.” You spoke softly at the man that was slowly getting more emotional. “Come on, Corey— I was friends with someone everybody told me not to be. I dated someone that everybody called sneaky.” 

“And now what, you want to be seen with a murderer?” 

“Because I have a crush on some guy that has to immediately make it bad?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I get that it’s hard on you, Corey, but I don’t care what they think. About you, about me, about my brother, about my ex— it’s never mattered to me and I really don’t think that it ever will.” 

“You’re going to make a martyr of yourself.” You laughed. 

“That’s not how that’s used properly.” 

“You know what I meant.” 

“I know.” 

“Then just… stop it.” 

“What if I don’t want to?” 

“You should.” 

“Corey, since when in the 15 plus years of knowing me have I ever done what I should do?” He gave a soft laugh and shook his head. 

“Maybe once.” 

“Exactly.” 

“This could be twice.” 

“Or maybe you could just shut the fuck up and kiss me.” Things were quiet for a second, Corey looked shocked, you were almost about to apologize when he finally took a couple of steps closer to you and leaned in to kiss you. Part of you was shocked, but you were quick to grasp at his shirt and kiss him back. Corey’s warm hand gently cupped your face as he gave a shaky exhale against your mouth. 

It was a soft, quick kiss, but when he pulled back, Corey stayed close. So close that you could still feel his shaky breath on your lips. 

“I’m so shocked you had the balls to do that.” You teased the man who laughed and gave your cheek the slightest slap. 

“Shut up and kiss me again.” You gave a soft laugh before you did what he asked and pressed your lips to his. Corey gave a soft hum, and between kisses muttered to you. “You’re doing what you’re told to do. Shocker.” 

“Mmm, shut up.” You mumbled back between quick kisses. Corey gave a soft hum but did what you said, reaching his hand down to hold your waist when the kiss got more feverish than before. Your fingers held onto his shirt tight, as if he was going to pull away or disappear at any second. In consolation, the hand that held your face now rested on top of your hand on his shirt. A silent way of letting you know he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Corey pulled back and looked at the door. 

“You don’t think your brother is going to wake up, do you?” With a soft hum, you shook your head. 

“Usually when he’s out, he’s out for the night. But if you’re so worried you could always lock the door.” 

“Yeah, that’s not suspicious at all.” He joked, though he did finally let you go to lock the door. You sat on the edge of your bed as he turned around and looked at you. Sending him a smile, you seemed to entice him back to you as you rested back on your hands. He moved to sit beside you on the bed and gave a soft sigh. “Remember when I said I didn’t want to be sneaky?” You gave a soft laugh and nodded. 

“And look at you now.” You sat up and looked at him. “We could always just unlock the door, open it, and watch a movie.” 

“God, no.” You laughed again at the desperate tone he gave you and moved to straddle his waist. 

“Then I guess we’ll keep kissing.” You pressed your lips back to his, this time wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Corey immediately leaned into the kiss, grasping your waist with his hands and giving you a gentle squeeze. You decided to do something a little bold and leaned in close enough to press your chest against his. Corey gave a tiny sound into the kiss, inching his hand slightly up your waist. 

Despite how short of a time the two of you had been this close, it didn’t feel close enough. Your hand slid up into Corey’s hair and gave it a gentle tug. This time, he moved his hand up and cupped it around your bare breast over your shirt. You gave a shaky exhale into the kiss when he gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“Is this okay?” He asked quietly as he pulled back from the kiss. 

“More than okay.” You kissed him again. “Touch me anywhere you want.” Corey gave an almost embarrassed laugh into the kiss. 

“Don’t tell me that.” You smiled, reached for his hand and cupped it around your other breast. 

“Really, Corey— wherever you want. I bet I want it, too.” Corey leaned in and kissed you this time, giving your breasts a gentle squeeze and earning a content moan from you. He slid one of his hands down your body, then his fingers started to gently fiddle with the waistband of your pants. You nearly had a chill run down your spine at the thought of Corey’s fingers down your underwear. After all, you’d told him to touch you anywhere. 

You shifted on his lap as Corey slid his hand around your back and grasped at your butt. You gave a soft gasp into the kiss, earning a cute little chuckle from him before he kissed you again. This time he slid his tongue along your bottom lip. You leaned into the man, chest pressing back against him. Corey reached back and steadied himself back onto his elbows, leaning you backwards on his lap. You shifted against him and earned a soft moan from him into the kiss. 

Corey shifted onto his back beneath you, then slid his hands along your legs and up your shirt. Pulling away from the kiss, you leaned back and adjusted against the man. You purposely wiggled your hips a bit and earned a shaky exhale from him. You gave a soft giggle when he sent you a feigned dirty look. He gulped when you slid your shirt right up beneath your breasts. 

“Should I take it off?” He nodded, but you didn’t take it off. Instead, you gave a soft hum and eyed the man as if you wanted him to answer you— so he did. 

“Yes, take it off.” With a little smirk, you slid the shirt the rest of the way off. Corey sat up on his elbows and flicked his gaze between your face to your breasts. “Fuck, it’s getting hotter in here looking at you like this.” You gave a soft laugh and reached down to fiddle with the hem of his shirt. 

“Maybe you should take this off.” 

“I think I agree,” he sat up enough to strip his shirt off and let it fall to the side and off the bed entirely. You sent him a smile and leaned in to kiss him. His hand rested on your bare back as he kissed you back. “Your brother would kill me if he found out about this.” 

“Nobody said he had to find out about it right now.” Corey gave a soft hum and leaned down to press a kiss to your neck. “Or maybe ever.” 

“I’d rather he never find out I fucked his little sister when he was asleep on the sofa.” You hummed in agreement as he leaned back to meet your gaze. “I guess… we’re just kissing.” You smirked lightly at the man. 

“Nobody said we had to stop.” 

“You know what, if they did, you wouldn’t listen.” He teased. 

“No, I wouldn’t.” You leaned back in to kiss him again. This time, Corey was quiet. He brought you snug up against him again and pulled you back down so you were on top of him while he laid down. You wiggled your hips in an attempt to get more comfortable, earning a soft sound from Corey again. Your fingers fiddled with the sheets by his head while Corey gripped tightly at your side. 

Then, all of the sudden, you were rolled over and trapped beneath the man. You laughed as he pulled back and adjusted on top of you. He sent you a smile and wrapped your leg around his waist. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“I just can’t believe it.” You said as Corey leaned back in to kiss along your neck. “I think 13 year old me would be screaming right now if she found out I got to be half-naked beneath my middle school crush.” Corey gave a soft laugh and gently nipped at your skin, making you gasp. 

“I think she is right now and that’s why you’re acting this way.” Teasingly, he licked along your skin to your jaw, pressed a quick kiss, and then pulled back. “What do you think?” He asked, but you could tell he didn’t mean about your previous comment. “If you want, we can do more. We could also stop.” 

"I don’t wanna stop.” 

“Do you wanna keep kissing?” 

“Definitely.” 

“Do you want to keep these on?” He asked, fingers tracing past your stomach and curling around the waistband of your pants. With a gulp, you shook your head. Corey was waiting for you to speak like you’d made him do before. Flushed, you looked down at his hand. 

“I don’t want to keep them on.” He gave a soft sound in acknowledgment and moved a bit, hooking his other fingers in your waistband and easily sliding the sweatpants off when you lifted your hips. Corey sent you a wink when you realized he was taking your underwear off, too. Your teeth caught your bottom lip as he tossed them to the side. “Well, now what?” 

“Now I get to keep kissing you.” Corey said matter-of-factly, however he adjusted the pants that he was still wearing. They looked uncomfortably tight. This was the first time you had seen the bulge in his pants. 

“Maybe you should take those off.” You suggested, eyes still trained on the bulge in his pants. He chuckled and leaned in to kiss you. 

“You’d like that wouldn’t you.” 

“God, yes I would.” Corey hummed and kissed you again. 

“Then take ‘em off.” His fingers slid down your side and to your thigh. His fingers grasped tight at your skin as he wrapped your leg back around his waist. “Not gonna do it?” He pressed a kiss to your collarbone. “Too scared?” He teased, pressing soft little kisses down to your chest. 

“Well now I can’t reach you.” He met your eyes as he took your nipple into his mouth and gave it a gentle suck. You gave a soft whine at the sensation and shifted beneath him. “Maybe… you don’t really want me to, hm?” 

“And why wouldn’t I want that?” 

“I don’t know, why wouldn’t you?” He leaned back up to press a kiss to your lips before he grasped your hand and placed it against his bulge. 

“Then take ‘em off if neither of us know why.” Corey leaned back down to press a few scattered kisses to your neck while you blindly fiddled with the button and zipper. Your fingers were damn near shaking. His warm skin against yours was enough to drive you crazy. Feeling him was enough to drive you crazy. But seeing him? You weren’t sure what that was going to do to you. 

Finally, he pulled away and started to strip his pants off, though he did leave his boxers on. You seemed to huff at that and made him laugh. 

“You gotta be patient.” 

“Patience was never my virtue.” He gave a soft ‘hm’ and tossed his pants aside, but this tine he leaned down and wrapped your legs around his shoulders. 

“Maybe I should teach you.” Corey pressed a quick kiss to your thigh right after he said that. There was a sort of mischievous glint in his eyes that you had never seen before. Then, he turned his head to press a few kisses along your other leg. All the way from your hip to your knee, then back to your inner-thigh, where he suddenly gave you a quick, hard bite. You gasped and jerked against him, but Corey was strong. He held you in place and sent you a cute grin. “You alright? Maybe I should have warned you.” 

“I’m fine.” You peeked down at the mark on your thigh. “That’s gonna leave a little mark tomorrow.” 

“Looks like you cant prance around in those short little shorts that you like to tease me with so much.” 

“Oh, you know what I was doing then, huh?” You gave a small smile as he pressed a few more kisses along your skin. 

“I had a slight idea. You weren’t so keen on those little shorts when we were younger. Then your ass started filling out and it just kinda seemed like you wanted me to look at it.” You sent him a mischievous smile but quickly bit your lip to bite it back. 

“Me? Never. I’m innocent.” 

“Mhm, I’m sure you are.” This was it, Corey finally pressed a little kiss to your clit. Then, finally, he gave your clit and slow lick. You gave a soft whine when he pulled back. “An innocent little angel, but you’re not patient and you sure seem to be enjoying this.” 

“Quit that.” You giggled. 

“Quit? I don’t know if I want to.” 

“Are you gonna tease me all night?” 

“Maybe.” 

“It’s already so late.” 

“Well, you already said you weren’t going to sleep. And I sure as hell don’t want to go to sleep if I could instead have my face between these pretty thighs of yours.” Corey pressed a quick kiss to both of your legs before leaning back in and giving your clit another teasing lick. You shifted against the man who held you snug against his face now. When his tongue started to tease you, you reached down and grasped at his hair. 

Corey started to finally really give you the attention you were craving. Your eyebrows furrowed inwards and your head lid back on the bed as he gave your clit soft sucks and made you moan out beneath your breath. Your fingers tightened in his hair as he sucked on your clit and moved one of his hands to tease your entrance. You wiggled against him again, but this time he didn’t try to stop you. He teased you with the tip of his middle finger a few times before he finally started to push it inside of you. 

“Oh, fuck…” You mumbled, glancing back at the door. You were so paranoid that your brother was going to catch you, but as Corey curled his finger gently inside of you and started to tease you with his pointer finger as well, you nearly forgot that he was even downstairs asleep on the sofa. 

Corey shifted against the bed, pulling you close as he sucked continuously on your clit, occasionally teasing you with his tongue and making you whine for him to keep going. 

Eventually, Corey was easily pumping two of his fingers inside of you, occasionally spreading them a bit to open you up some more. You pressed your head back into the mattress and tried to stay quiet as you moaned. You were certain that you had never been this turned on before. Your nipples ached for attention that Corey wasn’t giving them, so you reached up with your free hand and gently rolled your left nipple between your fingers. 

Corey gave a teasing hum when he saw that, but he kept licking your clit and making you moan. He swore every sound you made only seemed to make him throb harder against the bed for you. Sometimes he’d adjust or grind against the bed for a little bit of stimulation while he was working to get you off. But truth be told, he didn’t care much for his own pleasure right now. 

“God, you are so fucking good at that.” Corey met your gaze for a second before you looked away again and laid your head back. A soft moan left you as you tugged on his curly hair. Corey didn’t seem to mind, letting you do whatever you pleased without even a grunt in complaint. Corey moaned quietly as he shifted against the bed. “I think letting the sexual tension between us build up was a good idea.” You joked. “I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment for forever and it’s just as good as I had hoped it would be.” He gave a hum in agreement and pulled back only to give a quick comment. 

“I have been waiting for this moment for forever.” You whined and shifted against him when he went back to teasing your clit. “God, you are so wet.” He mumbled against you as his fingers easily moved inside of you. Corey teased you with a third finger. “I think I could fit my whole hand in here.” 

“Then I’m sure the very large bulge in your pants will fit just fine.” He gave a soft chuckle and pulled back. 

“And what would you do if it didn’t?” 

“I’d probably cry.” He laughed, moving so that your legs were wrapped around his waist, and leaned in to kiss you. You were quick to kiss him back, pulling him down on top of you again. Corey, even after a whole day, still smelt fantastic. Slightly musky with a hint of cinnamon, you dared to guess. Corey adjusted himself against you and in the meantime gently grinded his bulge against your clit, earning a soft little moan from you against his mouth. 

Corey did the same thing again just to make you moan again. When he was successful, he continued to gently rub himself against you. 

“God, it feels so big.” He pulled back with a soft, content sigh, and sent you a sweet gaze. 

“What do you think you wanna do?” You chewed on the inside of your lip for a moment, taking a quick glance down before you met his eyes again. 

“Well, I could suck on it.” 

“You don’t have to.” He said, leaning in to press a kiss to your cheek. “I could just fuck you until you can’t breathe.” Your face went hotter than it had all night as you stammered out a meek response. “Is that a yes?” He teased. “Do you think you’re ready?” 

“We might need some of my lube. It’s in the top drawer of my dresser if you wanna get it.” He gave a soft nod and got up, feeling a little uncomfortable digging through your drawers. He was always taught to not go through someone (especially a woman’s) things. His mom didn’t ever want him digging around in her stuff. 

Corey found the lube, though beside it was a little vibrator. 

“I don’t suppose you’re against the concept of me using a vibrator on you since there’s one right here, are you?” You were noticeably embarrassed, but you shook your head nevertheless. 

“I’m not against it.” 

“Do you want to right now?” 

“Sure.” Corey slid your dresser drawer shut, bringing over and handing you the lube and the vibrator. Before he got back on the bed, he stripped his boxers off. Your jaw dropped before he caught your eye and laughed at you. “Jesus…” You mumbled, leaning up on your hands. “It’s huge.” 

“Biggest you’ve had or something?” 

“By far.” 

“Well, with that luck, we may need this extra help from the vibrator.” 

“Or it’ll just make me squeeze you tighter.” 

“Yeah, that works, too.” Corey grabbed the vibrator and turned it on the lowest setting. He moved closer to you, though you were still distracted looking at his cock. You attention was quickly brought to his handsome face when he pressed the vibrator to your clit. “I’ve never done this before. Is this good?” You gave a soft nod. “Maybe when I’m fucking you, you can use it on yourself.” You nodded again. “Does this feel good.” You nodded and gave a soft whine as he laughed at you. 

“Cat got your tongue?” 

“It feels so good.” 

“Yeah, it feels good?” He hummed, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your lips as you nodded again. “What do you think, are you ready for me to put some lube on my cock and fuck you?” Swallowing hard, you nodded your head. “Hold onto this for me.” You brought your hand down and held onto the vibrator while he grabbed the lube and pulled back. “You’re probably better at it than I am anyways.” He said, watching you close your eyes and wiggle your hips against the small vibrator. He sighed quietly and set the lube aside as he inched closer on his knees and grabbed onto your legs by the back of your knees. “Come here.” You let him pull you against him and laughed, making him smile as he lined himself up at your entrance. 

“Do you think it’s gonna hurt?” 

“I don’t have a vagina.” 

“So… maybe?” 

“I’ve never gotten any complaints, per se.” 

“Fuck, just do it.” 

“I’ll go slow.” He promised, gently pushing the tip of his cock inside of you. Your fingers grasped tight at the bedsheets beside you as you closed your eyes. “If it hurts too much, just tell me. I’ll stop.” You nodded quickly and moved the vibrator around your clit. Corey wiped the excess lube on his hand off on his leg and reached for the frame of the bed while he slowly worked himself inside of you. 

Every little sound you made and every time you clenched around him it made Corey ache for you. As he promised, he kept his movements decently slow as he got you adjusted to his size inside of you. You moaned out as quiet as you could when he fully pushed himself inside of you. He gave a soft exhale and sent you a smile. 

“You doing alright?” 

“I’m okay.” 

“Tell me when I can move.” You nodded gently and waited a moment to adjust before you looked back at him. 

“I think I’m good.” He nodded, staying slow as he moved, but starting to work towards pumping himself inside of you at a steady pace. You laid your head back and bit your lip, trying to stay quiet as he began to really fuck you. Adding the vibrator onto how much he was stretching you out and how deep he was with every thrust inside of you, it was hard not to want to scream his name out. Corey leaned in closer, pressing down onto his elbow and reaching to tease your nipple with his hand. “Fuck, Corey— you’re making it hard to be quiet.” 

“If you can’t be quiet then I’ll just cover your mouth.” He said simply. You reached up, finding another solution as you moaned out, and brought his face towards yours. You kissed the man who was quick to give into it without any complaints. Your moans were muffled against his mouth as he picked up the pace when he felt less resistance from you. It was obvious you weren’t a virgin, but you were very tight around him. “God, you feel so good.” 

“I was just gonna tell you the same thing.” He gave a soft hum and leaned down, pressing his forehead to your shoulder while your hand grasped at his arm. “Fuck, I think you’re gonna make me cum.” 

“Jesus, it’s been so long I think I might, too.” 

“Then you should definitely cum inside of me.” You said. “It’s fine to.” He hummed softly, acknowledging you, yet only giving a soft moan by your ear a second later. Everything he was doing was making it hard for you to think as you wiggled against him and turned your vibrator up a speed. “Fuck,” you mumbled breathlessly. Your hand reached up to grab at Corey’s hair and gave it a light tug. “Oh, fuck— I’m gonna cum.” You were trying to be quiet, but you gave a few whiny moans as he edged you close to an orgasm. “Fuck, Corey, fuck— I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” You bit your lip hard and laid your head back, hand holding tightly onto Corey’s hair. 

A few thrusts after you had cum, Corey came inside of you. He gave a heavenly moan by your ear as he did, giving you a couple soft thrusts before he stopped and took a moment to breathe. He pressed his forehead against yours and gave a soft chuckle. 

“I can’t fucking believe I just came inside of you.” You laughed and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. One he leaned into even after you pulled back. 

“I can’t believe it either, but god am I happy about it.” 

With a soft sigh, Corey laid down beside you and pulled the sheet up onto both of you. You moved closer and leaned into the man who nearly immediately wrapped his arm around you and let you get as close as you could. 

“Well, that was fun after all.” 

“That was a lot of fun.” You looked at the clock on the wall and frowned. It was late, but you didn’t want him to leave you yet. 

“Hey Corey?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Will you stay with me for a little bit?” 

“Of course I will.” 

<>~<>~<>

A soft snore came from beside you as you shifted awake. With a soft groan, you looked at the man beside you and smiled lightly. The lights in your room were still on, you were both still naked, and Corey was still holding you just like he had been before. 

You shifted against him and stretched your back out, seeming to stir the man from his light slumber. He yawned, reaching up to stretch his arms out with a groan before he rubbed his eyes and looked at you. 

“Fuck, it wasn’t a dream.” You laughed and shook your head. 

“It sure wasn’t.” 

“What time is it?” You gave a soft hum and reached for your phone. 

“Oh, shit— it’s 8.” 

“AM?” He nearly jumped out of the bed. “Fuck—“ Just as he went to grab his shirt, your door handle jiggled. 

“Hey, (y/n)? Are you awake?” Your brother called. “I can’t find Corey.” You looked at Corey who was trying to put his clothes on as quietly and quickly as possible. “Is he in there? Do you know where he is?” You quickly tossed your pajamas on while Corey finally put his shirt on and went to open the door. You feigned a yawn, as if he had just woken up as Corey headed for the door. 

“I don’t know why the door was locked,” you said as you opened it. Your brother looked between the two of you real quick and then smiled. 

“It’s okay. Watch a movie?” 

“Yeah, guess we fell asleep.” You said stepping out of the way for Corey. 

“What’s up?” 

“You wanna go get coffee and donuts? You can come, too.” He said, giving your shoulder a slap. 

“Yeah, that sounds good. Let me brush my teeth and I’ll be right down.” Corey agreed. 

“Sound good.” Your brother turned but then hesitated. “Hey, you know Corey, you should really put your shirt on the right way next time.” You looked at the man beside you and sure enough, his shirt was on backwards. 

“Fuck.” He mumbled. 

“See you guys downstairs.” 

#halloween ends #halloween franchise #halloween 2022 #halloween #hlloween ends corey cunningham #halloween ends corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham x female reader #corey cunningham x female reader smut #corey cunningham x female reader fluff #corey cunningham x reader #corey cunningham x reader smut #corey cunningham x reader fluff #corey cunningham #smut #mature #fluff #slashers #slashers smut #slashers fluff #slashers x reader smut #slashers x reader fluff

[lysol1201]

This Time We Make A New Start

Rookie/After Re2!Leon Kennedy x GN!Reader (mostly platonic, but can be read romantically)

Roommate Series

Summary: The daily routine of you and your roommate, Leon Scott Kennedy.

Takes place in modern time, not in the 90s because I felt like it and you can't stop me.

Word Count: 1050

Genre: Can be seen as fluff, just some fun roommate stuff

TW: profanity, mentions of depression and suicide, reader takes medication (self-indulgent type shit), if any others plz lmk (not beta read, we die like luis)

Inspired by: Does Anybody Have a Map? from Dear Evan Hansen Light Behind Your Eyes by My Chemical Romance

++++

5 am every morning. The most annoying alarm going off every. Single. Morning.

No snooze either. Your roommate wouldn’t let you.

“Y/N! Wakey wakey!” He screamed from the hallway of your apartment. 

How could he be such a morning person? He was 22 and being trained to death for some secret agent organization or whatever. Well again, so were you.

When Raccoon City went down, the same thing happened to your city, which was a small bit away from Raccoon. You were the sole survivor. You and Leon were both recruited and became partners. Due to training a lot and getting along, you chose to live together. It’s not like you had anywhere else to be, your home was gone, and you needed a new place to stay near the training grounds. It had been one year of you two living together. It may be chaotic, but if it weren’t for him and if it weren’t for you, who knows where you two would be? Depressed? Suicidal? Dead? You were all each other had.

“Yeah, yeah, I know!” You shouted in response, jumping out of bed quickly. You put on some socks and slippers and left your room and made a path to the bathroom. 

The door was closed, so you knocked. “Ocupado!” Leon spoke from the other side of the door.

“Hurry up, I need to brush my teeth!” 

Soon after, you heard a flush and the sink turned on. Then, the door opened. “It’s fine, I just needed to piss,” He smiled at you and stepped aside, letting you in. “I gotta brush my teeth too, so you have to deal with me.”

“Fine, fine,” You agreed, squeezing to the left side of the sink while Leon went to the right. You both grabbed your toothbrushes, then Leon reached for the toothpaste to put some on your brush and his. “Whoever finishes first doesn’t have to make breakfast,” You challenged, immediately starting to brush your teeth after.

“That’s not fair!” He squeaked, quickly getting to brush his teeth. 

You won.

“Cook!” You bumped him, rinsing your mouth and putting your toothbrush away. Walking out of your room, you hear Leon finish and catch up to you.

“Take your meds, dumbass,” Leon elbowed you in the side. “Can’t have you crying at the training grounds,” He chuckled with a wink and sped up his pace to get to the kitchen to avoid the backlash.

“Oh, shut up! That’s not how it works!”

“Just swallow them, gobble them already!” You heard him laugh from the kitchen while you walked back into your room to both take your meds and get dressed.

You got into the standard training clothing that was provided for you and some running shoes. Once finished with all you needed in your room, you quickly exited and rushed to the kitchen.

“It’s 5:30, hurry up and eat or else we’ll be late,” Leon spoke, putting a plate of eggs and toast in front of you. “I’d rather not have to do non-stop fights until I win 5 in a row again. Some were fucking knife fights. I’ve been here for a year, jesus fucking christ,” He complained while he sped through eating his food.

“Hey, I had to do agility training for 8 fucking hours straight! If I failed a chase, I’d have to start from the start and lose all of my progress,” You groaned and took a bite out of your toast. “They’re trying to get is fucking killed.”

“I guess that’s to help us survive in whatever… else happens to us,” Leon sighed. 

You could tell he was thinking back to Raccoon City. His face had dropped and he had gotten quiet. It was times like these that you knew you two needed each other here. “Don’t worry, one day I’m sure you’ll be able to beat the shit out of Krauser, and it’ll be the most satisfying moment of your life.” You chuckled and hoped to bring the smile back to his face.

Leon let out an amused huff. “Yeah right,” The smile slightly returned. That was all you needed.

You stood up to go to the fridge for some milk, but once you opened it, there was no milk. “Leon, did you drink all the milk?” You turned to him in annoyance. He looked away and pretended to not hear you. “You’re paying for the next gallon!” He leaned back in his chair and groaned in response.

“Oh fuck, we gotta go. Traffic is being shit right now according to the news,” Leon stuffed down the last of his eggs, standing up and rushing to his room to get dressed.

You grabbed your bag that sat by the front door that you had already put fresh water and spare clothes in and waited for Leon. “If you don’t hurry up, I’m leaving without you!” 

When you finished your sentence you saw Leon rushing from his room basically hopping on one foot while he tried to slip on his other shoe. “Hold the fuck on, geez!” He finally got the shoe on, grabbed his bag by the door, and the hung up car keys. “Got everything?”

You saluted him. “Yes, Agent Kennedy.”

“Oh, shut up,” He chuckled, opening the door and letting you out first as he quickly followed behind you. 

It wasn’t perfect living that way. Knowing what you were doing for a living, being forced into this, having to go through what you two went through. But without each other, that light in your eyes would have faded a long time ago. You weren’t sure how long that light would stay there, knowing it was fading day by day, but you knew with Leon by your side it would take a bit longer. And he knew that with you by his side, he’d have more hope to hold on to.

It had hurt to say goodbye to all your friends, all of them had met their tragic ends. All the people you wanted to save, and with every passing day you felt that survivor's guilt and the feeling of missing them all. 

For them, you didn’t want to lose this fight. But you couldn’t do it alone.

You two needed each other, to save the light behind your eyes.

#resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil 2 #resident evil 2 remake #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy resident evil 2 #leon s kennedy x reader #leon kennedy

[lemmetreatya]

Eren bringing home the skrunkliest cat who he lured out of a storm drain with a hamburger and who he has now declared your child in spite of the fact this man can barely take care of himself.

HSJSJS PLEASEEE!

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

he’d be so adamant to look after it and everything despite barely being able to have a scheduled sleep routine or eating more than 2 meals a day😭😭 you would go out and try find its mama bc no way was this lil baby doomed to have jaeger as it’s guardian 🤨 but your look was to no avail so eren would think it’s then free real estate to keep it

“I’m naming him Timothy Chalameow.”

You look up from your phone with a perplexed expression, a pause in your google search for a registered cat shelter.

“Timothy Chalameow?” You repeat.

Eren nods as he glances across at his phone propped up on the kitchen window seal which is currently playing a youtube video on how to de-flea kittens at home. He looks back towards the rather soggy kitten and follows the instruction of softly rubbing a ring of washing up liquid around it’s neck.

“Yeah. I’m naming it after that famous actor tha—”

“I know who you’re referencing, Eren. It’s just…why?” You ask.

“Why?!”

Turning back towards you, the brunette makes a weird expression, although you know he’s secretly been wanting for you to ask that question the moment he came up with the name.

Picking up the kitten from the shallow bowl of soapy water like a prized possession, Eren softly squeezes the water out from it before hovering it in your direction.

“Just look at the lil guy! He looks exactly like him!”

Taking time to look at the kitten, you made a concerned face as the baby’s head bobbled, it’s eyes seemingly Kubrick wide and pitch black. The fur surrounding it’s head looked even more crazy and einsteinian as the rest of it’s body was matted down and wet.

With a sigh, you looked back in your boyfriend’s direction.

“Eren, I hate to break it to you but you are literally one curl pattern away from being mistaken as Timothy’s twin. Like, if the kitty looks like him then it sure as hell looks like you.”

Rolling his eyes, the man huffed.

“Yeah well i’d call him Eren Jaeger II if I could but i’m saving that name for our first born child.” He says matter-of-factly before dunking the kitten back into the water again.

However, concerning his comment, you decided to entertain him.

“What if our first borns a girl?” You pry.

Eren’s back was to you now as his focus was back on washing the kitten. However, once he registered your words, he made a loud dry laugh.

“Who said Eren Jaeger II was strictly for a boy?”

absolutely laughing now tho because i can imagine eren wouldn’t hesitate to cut up a good pair of socks he still uses to make a makeshift kitty bodice to keep it warm (not even like an old sock or one he wears around the home — he’d use a proper sport Nike or adidas sock. NOT BOTH PAIRS. just one sock)

but i think he’d be great with the kitty! he still isnt able to look after himself for SHIT but mostly because his time is now consumed with spoiling this kitty, he forgets that he needs to look after and feed himself too :”)

#thanks for this it absolutely made my night loool #eren x reader #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren imagines #eren scenarios #eren headcanons #lemmetreatya #Timothy Chalameow

[janeleclerc]

: ̗̀➛ JANE’S CHRISTMAS PROMPTS LIST

my christmas prompts list! all the prompts and info needed below the cut. you will have twenty prompts.

☃️ request in my asks!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧

✎ PROMPTS:

1- “Not to panic you or anything, but we’re standing underneath a mistletoe.”

2- “Come to my Christmas dinner party, yeah? I’d appreciate it.”

3- “No, don’t put the red star, use the yellow,”

4- “Look at these designs of Christmas cookies... don’t just nod, you know I want us to bake them.”

5- “Love, I’m coming back home for Christmas,”

6- “Look... it’s snowing,”

7- “I’m definitely not your secret santa, what do you mean...?”

8- “Did you receive my Christmas present?”

9- “Let’s make some snow angels!”

10- “Hot chocolate with marshmallows in front of the fire looks amazing at the moment.”

11- “Could you help me arrange the Christmas tree?”

12- “I asked for you to help me with decorating the house, not turn on Mariah Carey and dance around!”

13- “Look, I got us matching Christmas pajamas and socks!”

14- “Better get the cookies and milk ready for Santa,”

15- “If I don’t end up on Santa’s nice list, I will be deeply offended.”

16- “Wake up, it’s Christmas!”

17- “This folder contains all of the Christmas movies, pick one.”

18- “Why are you laying down in front of the Christmas tree like that?”

19- “Open your door, the Christmas presents are heavy,”

20- “This is our first Christmas together, so I wanted to make it rather special.”

✎ RULES FOR REQUESTING:

1- You can pick up to maximum five prompts per request.

2- I may write requests for anyone who isn’t mentioned in the list below, request them and I’ll see if I can.

3- I won’t write heavy smut, but I may write a bit of NSFW.

4- Open to write about families and kids.

5- Please specify in my asks that the request is for the Christmas prompts list.

✎ WHO I CAN WRITE FOR:

─ * means I may write NSFW for them. If the * symbol isn’t included beside the name, then I won’t be writing any NSFW themes for them. If it’s someone not on the list that you have requested, I most likely will not be writing any NSFW themes for them.

Lewis Hamilton*

Charles Leclerc*

Carlos Sainz*

Daniel Ricciardo*

Arthur Leclerc

Trent Alexander-Arnold*

Kostas Tsimikas*

Darwin Nunez*

Mason Mount*

Jude Bellingham

Fabio Carvalho

🎄 I will stop taking requests for this prompt list on December 15th, 2022. Feel free to request up until that date!

#lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagines #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz imagines #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo imagines #arthur leclerc x reader #arthur leclerc imagines #trent alexander-arnold x reader #trent alexander-arnold imagines #kostas tsimikas x reader #kostas tsimikas imagines #darwin nunez x reader #darwin nunez imagines #mason mount x reader #mason mount imagines #fabio carvalho x reader #fabio carvalho imagines #jane’s christmas prompts

[tyrannosaurus-trainwreck]

I cannot stress enough, from the bottom of my fucking heart, that life is too goddamned short to be out here buying shitty potato peelers that hurt your hands and don’t really work that great for $5 when $10 will get you a sturdy, comfortable, very effective one.

Just in general, if there is something you’re out here using on a very regular basis, especially if it’s for a chore or task you already don’t like that much, it’s 100% worth it to get the “nice” version.  If you’re broke, it’s something you can ask for as a birthday/holiday/just-because gift from loved ones who aren’t broke.

Like, you know how Disney parks have what they call “touch points,” where if it’s something guests are interacting with in a big way, they want it to be as nice as possible to give guests a really good impression?  That is in fact a thing that works.  It can in fact make your life better, or worse.

I know sometimes it can feel dumb to spend the extra money, effort, or time to get the good version because no version of this tool exists that’s going to make it fun or awesome to peel potatoes or clean the litter box or mop the living room.  Unfortunately, it is not dumb and will in fact improve your life.

I know most people don’t think of it in terms of “Oh, ha ha, it’s not worth spending the extra $5 to get a good kitty litter scoop.  I’d rather use that five bucks on a single fancy cup of coffee on the way to work and spend every day for the foreseeable future fighting with this flimsy piece of garbage that can barely stand up to the job and that I have to handle just so or it will snap in half on me.” Unfortunately, that’s about what it boils down to in actual practice. 

Also unfortunately, it’s unbelievable how much mental energy is sapped by being surrounded by stuff you hate using because it’s the cheapest version of the thing that wouldn’t spontaneously combust when you touched it, or it’s busted but not completely busted yet, or it doesn’t work great but it hasn’t absolutely fallen the fuck apart on you.

Plus I think we’ve all got that socks-and-underwear-giving relative who’d be like “Finally, my time has come!” if you asked them for a sensible gift like non-scratchy towels or nice sheets, so you’re making your life materially better and also letting them fulfill some weird primal nesting instinct by proxy.

#for extra psychic damage the slightly more expensive stuff also tends to last five times as long as the cheap shit #and tends to be way easier to take care of than the cheap shit #life advice

[lady-of-imladris]

Results of the "Where would you hide a Silmaril" post!!!

Hello everyone, sorry this took a while. But here are the results of this post. PLEASE READ THE UNHINGED RANDOM ONES. I will put them [HERE] in a separate post, as well as at the bottom of this post.

There will be charts for nice data representation (I used pie charts because I was taught NOT to use them and... fuck the rules)

We had a hot total of 127 people who either commented or reblogged with their opinion in the tags. Thank you to everyone who participated!!

Here are the numbers

31: give it to them

1 draw a sad face on it

1 in exchange for marriage proposal

2 in exchange for money

1 “I’m not dying for Feanor’s kidney stone”

1 in exchange for protection

11: body of water

5: people who accused me of having a silmaril

9: eat

after 23 hours

eaten by dog

6: volcano

7: NSFW edition

my ass

“up my… no I shouldn’t say it… the ocean”

“… either they wouldn’t look there or I’d have a good time while they’re looking

“I can’t bring myself to say it”

“In my pussy. Those gayboys wouldnt have the guts to retrieve it. Thank god Celegorm isnt in the picture”

“In my pussy. Sorry but 2 fine af war criminals in my house??! sorry not sorry daddy”

“I’d rather not say what my first thought was”

4: nope, not touching that

And now for the unhinged answers:

Here are the numbers:

54 unhinged answers:

5: Higher entity

“Give it to melkor because good luck getting it from that guy”

Ulmo

Tom Bombadil

Bilbo [Yes he counts as a higher entity]

Yavanna

3: Mess

Brother’s room

Wardrobe of the boys’ room (underneath lego)

Deepest darkest part of the woodshed

5: object permanence (it will disappear on its own)

parents’ basement between tomato sauce and baked beans

“I’d probably just lose it anyway”

“Wherever my left sock is”

“One of my “safe places”. It magically disappears within 24 hours”

“My special powers would kick in and it would never be found”

4: Proximity (hide it where they least suspect it. Close to them.)

Reverse pickpocket one of them

Maedhros’ underwear drawer

Near a Feanorian house

Under their own floorboards

2: cast it into the void

11: Urban

Hospital storage room

Toronto union station (a literal maze due to construction)

Go to a carnical and replace one of the lightbulbs with it

Gravel mine

Archives of a museum

“School or McDonalds, neither of these places feel like they exist on the mortal plane”

Bell tower

2: Ball pit

The trash

A random train station

Flush it down the toilet

4: Angband or Valinor

Bury it underneath the roots of the two tees

give it to Cirdan so he ships it off to valinor

3: Wear it

2: Wear it as a necklace

“Wear it and pspsp the Feanorians, dying in the process of trying to pet them”

RANDOM

Rig my house with cameras, assemble all light sources and plug them in, hide the silmaril inside a lamp, withdraw to a friend's place and watch them wander through my house like confused moths. Optional popcorn #noldor enrichment

Bury it in the garden with the potatoes. Good luck with the geese

Hide it in the middle of millions of other shiny rocks and run. Probably after drwaing a smiley on it

Feed it to a chicken and throw the chicken into the depths of khazad dum

Drive into a random direction and chuck it into a landfill

gollum-style underground, wrap it in a dozen bags and dump it into a deep but narrow crevice

Panic, try to eat it, spit it out, panic, dig a hole, throw myself into hole, panic, climb out, wait for them, throw it in their face while panicking

My pocket

Inside a washing machine, they would never look there

Wheel well of my heelies

Behind an army of therapists with a burning commitment to family gruop therapy. Either we'll scare them off or make some progress

Hand it to a little kid on the street

Inside a water mellon and say I gave it to a friend

British museum, god knows they'll never give it back-.

Box of tampons under the sink

inside a large rubber duck

Give it to deadpool

Buy a wedding dress and wait

Bring it to the shire. Even the Feanorians can't come after hobbits without looking like total dicks to a level even they aren't okay with

#I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT POST YOU GUYS #lotr #lord of the rings #the silmarillion #the silm #silm #tolkien #silmarillion #maedhros #maglor

[silentcartoonist2018]

CU Epilogue AU Chapter 3 and 3 1/2

Chapter 3-The Clown

*drip*…….*drip*

He didn’t know how much time had passed, but it felt like hours. Krupp was lying down on something hard, like the tiles of his office. 

*drip*………..*drip*……..

His vision slowly began to regain focus. He didn’t quite remember lying face down on the floor.

*drip*………..*drip*……..

He didn’t quite remember his office having a leak. 

*drip*………..*drip*……..*drip*………..*drip*……..

In fact, he didn’t even remember there being three doors in his office.

Three?

Krupp raised his head and looked around. “This isn’t my office….”

The doors he saw belonged to three small structures around him, no bigger than the size of a large phone booth. There were two booths in front of him. One was titled “SUPEREGO”, and the other had “I” and “D” on it. The dripping sound seemed to come from one of the booths, most likely the I-D one with water leaking out the sides. And behind him was a booth labeled “EGO”.

The rest of the area was surrounded by water and a bunch of nothing. The air was neither too hot nor too cold. The sky looked like it was splashed with some kind of oily substance.

This place isn’t even Earth.

Krupp reached to scratch his scalp only to feel that his toupee was firmly attached to his head. No, it was more than that. He could feel each follicle being firmly attached to his scalp. His toupee felt like real hair! 

“Wh-what is this!?” He exclaimed only to feel that his clothes felt different. “W-where are my clothes??”

A rather unfortunate question he asked out loud on multiple occasions once upon a time he’d rather not remember. Though this time, his clothes were different and his shoes and socks were missing. Instead of wearing his usual green work pants, buttoned white shirt, striped brown tie, and his brown loafers, he was wearing something to the equivalent of…pajamas. Just a simple perfectly sized green shirt and loose fitting green pants, both of which actually fit him perfectly and felt incredibly comfortable. 

In light of his current circumstances, he couldn’t help asking, “Where the heck am I?”

At first there was silence. But it was cut by a rather jovial voice. “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!”

Krupp turned around, but saw no one. It was until he was urged to look down did he see a rather dwarfish red clown in plain looking clothes, and a 5 o’ clock shadow. 

“Didn’t think I’d see you wandering this place again!”

The last thing Krupp wanted was to be near a washed up circus clown. Why is he here? How did he get here? Krupp doesn’t know and doesn’t even want to know.

“EYYY, It’s your favorite clown mascot in this unimaginative wasteland! Haven’t seen ya in like, what? 4 years? How’ve you been, buddy?”

Krupp pretended to ignore him and proceeded to open one of the doors.

“Ok, sure, go about your business,” the clown continued. “Dreamland is that way. Just leave me alone to wallow in the dark as usual.”

While the clown was rambling on his own, Krupp was busy trying to open one of the doors. 

The first one he tried to open, The EGO door, was unfortunately out of service. 

Ugh..they really are Porta-Potties… He thought. 

Surrounded by Porta-Potties, Krupp figured that the exit may very well be off the platform somewhere. 

He crept up to the edge of the platform and dipped one of his toes into the water. Oddly enough the surface seemed solid enough to walk on. So he made a beeline towards a random direction away from the platform. It was a bit strange that he’s able to dash miles in such a short time without getting tired. 

As the platform disappeared from the horizon, Krupp found another platform straight ahead. But as he got closer, he saw the same three porta-potties, same clown. “I-I’m back where I started??”

“Whaddya expect? It’s a closed space.” The clown replied.

Krupp continued to ignore the clown and ran in another direction only to yield the same result. He ran again and it was still the same. 

Maybe the clown knows something after all. He thought to himself.

“Of course I know something! I’ve been in here watching your soul wander this dreamscape for the past four years!”

Krupp changed his mind, he didn’t expect the clown to actually read his thoughts. 

“Of course I can read your thoughts! I can read the narration too!”

“Will you just SHUT UP??” Krupp roared.

Krupp looked around and there was no clown in sight. 

Finally. 

Krupp decided to go back to opening the doors again. Maybe one of the Porta-Potties are actually vacant.

“Hey, wait a minute!”

“GYAAAHH!!” Krupp was taken aback and found the clown floating in front of his head…too close.

“HA! You actually heard me! This is a first! No more spectating for me, anymore!” The clown exclaimed as he zipped this way, that way, and all around Krupp.

Krupp was at his wit’s end. “Look, I don’t know who the heck you are, but I’d rather find an exit out of wherever this place is than stick around for a circus!”

“Ooooh, that burn would actually hurt if only I were a REAL clown.”

“I don’t care.” Said Krupp coldly. “Where’s the exit?”

“Since you asked nicely,” the clown adjusted his trousers. “It’s through one of these porta-potties of course!”

Krupp dashed over to the SUPEREGO door, still occupied. He tried the I-D Door, Vacant.

“That’s the ID door. Sounds like ‘lid’ but minus the ‘L’. It’s flooded, by the way.”

“I didn’t need to hear that!” Krupp yelled.

“Also, I wouldn’t go in there if I were you unless you wanna get deeper into this mess.”

“Then which one’s the exit?”

“The one you fell out of, the EGO door.”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT EARLIER??”

“I’m sorry,” Said the clown sarcastically “I thought you were ignoring me!”

“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!” Having lost all his patience, Mr. Krupp grabbed the handle of the EGO door. 

*SNAP*

Suddenly a resonant finger snap echoed everywhere and rang loudly in Mr. Krupp’s ears, which made him wince. Everything started to warp and melt around him until he could barely recognize the door. Sadly the handle to what he’d hoped to be the exit twisted and turned out of his hand. 

“What’s happening?” Krupp had one hand on his head as it started to spin. His thoughts turned into such a jumbled mess that he couldn’t make sense out of it. 

The clown examined his melting surroundings. “Looks like your real body has been staring at the ring for well over an hour now.”

“Ring? Real Body?”

“When that happens, it’s gonna automatically put you to sleep.”

“Wait, what?”

*SNAP*

Another snap echoed in the air and Krupp winced again, but this time, he was feeling weaker. He looked around to see where the snap came from only to follow it back to the clown. “You’ve been the one snapping?” He said. 

“The ring’s making me do it. It’s a trigger from the last time you were hypnotized that’s supposed to put you in a trance. Or in this case, asleep. But so what? No big deal.”

“SO WHAT?? I got work to do! Got paper slips to fill, meetings to go to, s-students to punish, taxes….bills…and tonight…..…tonight….I….”

Krupp suddenly started to feel strange. His mind was spinning fast but his thoughts started to slow down. He tried to shake it away, but it seemed to make him dizzier and dizzier. 

“Sounds like an awful lot of work” said the clown, his tone starting to change. “But you don’t really want to do them, do you?”

Krupp was taken aback. “What do you mean by that?”

“Wouldn’t it be nice if all that went away?”

*SNAP*

All at once, Krupp felt a huge weight lift away. It was a relief but he felt as if something had been shoved out of his head.

“Huh…? What was I…?” He tried to recall something. Anything.

“Don’t think too hard about it.” The clown continued “You’ll remember when you wake up. For now, just breathe slowly….in…..and out….In….and out…nice and slow….”

Krupp’s breathing became slower and heavier. 

“Now focus on my voice…and let yourself relax…” The clown started speaking at a much slower pace and started to sound like an echoing drone in the back of Krupp’s head.

Gradually, Krupp began to feel a vague tingling sensation spreading out from the back of his neck and moving throughout his body. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but it didn’t feel bad either. In fact, it felt like a massage.

“Good, that’s it….While you’re breathing like that, notice how you’re gradually becoming more and more relaxed….relaxed to the point where you’re becoming drowsy.”

“Wha…? No I’m…”Krupp protested, but before he could finish, his voice trailed into a big yawn and all of a sudden, his body began to feel heavier, even more relaxed. 

“Drowsier…..and drowsier..…”

Bit by bit, both of Krupp’s arms fell to his side, dangling lazily from his shoulders.

“That’s it…feel the rest of your body falling asleep…”

Krupp felt his awareness drifting away. The world around him, along with the clown seemed to fade away into the background. Everything to him felt so tranquil his eyelids drifted halfway closed and eventually, he was left standing in a deep trance….

“Now, how about a place to lie down?” The clown continued to snap his fingers again and this time, the landscape began to change. It was as if he were transported to a vibrant night sky.  

“You’re surrounded by a large field of soft and drowsy clouds. Some are trying to billow up high, but they keep falling down, barely able to stand up anymore…and staring at them makes you feel even more sleepy too, doesn’t it?”

Krupp’s blank stare sluggishly turned his attention towards a dense patch of clouds forming by his feet.

“Before you is a cloudy bed for you to sleep on,” said the clown. “It’s so soft and comfortable that once you sink into it, all the rest of your worries and stress will drain away and disappear…Doesn’t that sound nice?”

Krupp’s posture began to sway and tilt towards the cloud, only to be held back by the collar of his shirt.

“Not yet…not until I count from 10,” the clown said. “By the time I reach zero, you’ll be fast asleep, and you can relax on that cloud for as long as you want.”

The clown began to count down slowly, and with each passing number, Krupp’s sleepy eyes began to droop even further. 

“10…..more and more relaxed with each number…..9……8……too tired to move……7……6……..5……..sleepier and sleepier……4…….3…….you don’t want to think anymore……2……almost there…..1…..so tired, so sleepy…….zero.”

*SNAP*

The clown let go of Krupp’s collar, finally allowing Krupp to fall into the cloud, eyes fully closed like heavy doors. 

It was more comfortable than his bed at home. It felt like he was sleeping on top of a big, giant pillow. More than that, it was gently cradling him and hugging all of his insecurities away. Full of thoughts of falling even deeper and deeper into a peaceful slumber, he felt his mind gradually shutting down. 

“There we go…Don’t you feel so much better now?” The clown asked.

“Yesssss……” Krupp replied in a sleepy whisper. 

“Perfectly relaxed and sleepy….?”

“…..s-sooo…..s-sleepyyyy…..”

“That’s right….Let your mind drift away…..”

In one last push of effort, Krupp just barely managed to open one eye and saw something in the clouds. A shadow of some sort. Something or someone familiar. But he couldn’t quite make it out. 

Unable to recognize anything, he finally closed his eye and passed out, drifting in his mind, embraced by a soft cloud of sleep.

……………………………………………………..

Chapter 3 1/2—A Dream Within A Dream

He remembered falling. 

Slowly as if He were sinking to the bottom of a body of water. 

Everything was black.

But there was air around Him.

Something that He thought was air.

After a gentle hover… 

He landed on what He felt was the ground.

Everything was quiet.

Dead Quiet

At least at first.

In the inky darkness

He could hear a distant rustle 

And a gentle wind 

Starting to pick up speed. 

When He turned, He saw a large white leaf rolling by His feet. 

Upon picking it up…

He realized that it wasn’t a leaf…

But a sheet of paper… 

With a picture on it. 

There was a pair of hands ripping up a comic book.

Another sheet rolled by.

It was His school building.

And another.

A pair of students with blotted out faces.

And another.

The faces of the people who worked with Him, 

With only one person smiling.

He instinctively knew that these were His memories, without question.

Just His ordinary life. 

The wind blew stronger and this time a sheet of paper blew right into His face.

He pulled it off.

It was an amorphous monster with metallic arms.

He could feel a tinge of fear as the sheet began to turn red.

The wind was blowing a bit stronger and more sheets of red paper blew by.

One sheet had a pair of hands pulling a robot in half. 

He didn’t recognize this one.

Another blew by.

There was a purple lady with multiple green arms.

And another.

A cranky old man who piloted a robot. 

And another.

A giant angry hamster.

They all looked familiar, but He didn’t recognize them.

He could hear the wind starting to howl.

“Make it stop……make it stop…..make it stop….”

His instincts told Him to run. 

Suddenly the papers that blew towards Him started blowing in the opposite direction.

It was a mix of red and white sheets of paper.

Accumulating into something large. 

A tornado.

It was coming after Him.

And so He ran.

He ran.

But He couldn’t move.

He was practically running on a treadmill.

The wind was screaming in His ears.

It would only be a matter of time before the tornado would catch up to Him.

And it did.

It lifted Him up into the air. 

Paper was flying everywhere.

Depicting all sorts of monsters He didn’t recognize.

The monsters started to jump off the pages.

They were all after Him.

He covered Himself with His arms 

As they started closing in.

He couldn’t escape from this.

He was trapped.

He was scared.

“MAKE IT STOP!!!”

All of a sudden, a red light started glowing inside His chest.

His heart started pounding.

But it wasn’t His heart. 

It was pounding from the inside.

Something was inside His chest.

Trying to get out.

The light pulsed even brighter

And forced the monsters to retreat.

Before long the tornado began to dissipate.

And He was on the ground again.

He thought the turmoil was over.

But the light was still pounding in His chest. 

Harder and harder.

It made Him turn in a specific direction

Where He saw a shadowy figure

Walking through the paper that fell like snow.

He couldn’t see who It was.

But something about It felt VERY familiar.

It reached out a hand towards Him

As if It wanted something. 

He felt Himself being pulled towards the figure.

He tried to pull Himself back.

But He kept moving forward.

The gap between Him and the figure was closing by yards.

Feet.

Inches.

The pounding and pulling finally stopped.

Along with the paper that fell around them. 

Everything was still for a while.

The figure motioned Its hand again. 

He had nothing to give. 

It motioned again.

He still had nothing. 

At long last the figure pressed Its finger against His chest.

Above the spot where the light was.

Everything glowed red.

And faded to white.

#captain underpants #epilogue au #wiseguy the clown #mr. krupp

[thessalian]

Thess vs Burnout

I should have booked my upcoming week off for next week, not the week after next. When booking at least 50% of my annual leave (which HR demanded we all do by the end of June, possibly to stop Scruffman taking random half-days with no notice whenever he feels like it), I knew I needed a break fairly soon but I wanted to give as much notice as possible. Thus, first week in July. But I underestimated how burned out I currently am and I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of this week, never mind next week. Yes, I know tomorrow’s Friday; the point stands.

That whole “Violet does the long typing and Temp does the short typing” deal is still affecting me in unfortunate ways. I mean, it’s bad enough that Violet only takes them one at a time and works at them at a snail’s pace, which means I get a lot of them regardless of the supposed deal. Thing is ... Violet is elderly and a bit fragile, health-wise. She winds up being out sick a fair bit. But when she’s away, does Temp go, “Well, the deal’s moot since Violet isn’t here; I guess I’d better do some of the longer typing”? NOPE. Which is what it looked like today. There were many, many long ones, all by people who have no idea how to format the damn things, who do the “Oh, hey, could you go back to the first bit and add an important thing I forgot?” thing in the middle of the block key, and who also have no idea how to make sure their recording equipment is in working order. Two of the trickier accents in the building and they fucked up a setting so that it was using the built-in mic on their computers rather than their headsets and it sounded like they were talking at me from one end of a long tin pipe half-blocked by a three-week-old athletic sock. The problem is that I know how Scruffman feels about this; he has made it perfectly clear how he feels about it. How he feels about it is, “As long as I don’t have to do anything”. He doesn’t want to have to talk to Temp about this. He doesn’t want to have to police Temp about it. Most of all, he doesn’t want to annoy the one who is actively in the office who might give him dirty looks about it. Meanwhile, I’m the one who can’t take this shit because of a physical disability, but since he doesn’t have to watch me suffer, it’s fine.

Of course, shit continues being shitty in the rest of the world. Turns out the “We’re going to halve inflation by December 2023″ bull Sunak was spewing awhile back is ... well, just that. Interest rates have gone up to 5%, and odds are good that they’ll be raised to 6% come Christmas. But none of this is going to hit up the rich people, because all they’re going to do is protect their bottom lines by fucking the rest of us over. Landlords aren’t going to tighten their belts and pay the extra on their mortgages out of pocket; they’re going to raise rents even higher than they already are. As for supermarkets ... well, since the triple-whammy of Brexit, Covid, and Ukraine, the cost of actually producing the food and getting it from point A to point B has reportedly gone down but the prices in the supermarkets keep going up. They say they’re raising interest rates and risking a recession because inflation is such a bad thing, and I keep wondering ... why are you not pointing at the people who are causing it? People decide what everything is worth, and when that starts going up further than it should, you have to start looking at the people who set the fucking prices. And all of their increases are in the wrong place. If they just paid decent wages, more people would be able to buy the things they’re offering, and ... I mean, selling cheaply to many is a tried and tested way of doing business. It’s not huge profits, but it’s enough to keep going. The problem is that profit is not enough for these people. They not only want HUGE PROFIT, they want HUGE PROFIT now and EVEN HUGER PROFIT next year and ever-increasing. So they feed inflation by raising their prices to insane degrees, particularly if it’s a needful like ...you know, food. Meanwhile, to make their profit margins look even better, they understaff their workplaces, and underpay those few overworked staff they have. So the interest rate shit is all on them. But there’s going to be no windfall tax on the wealthy because apparently “that’ll just make inflation increase more”. Which is actually honest, given that the wealthy would raise their prices even higher and say, “We had to do it because of how much you’re taxing us! We’re losing money!!!”

They’ll lose a lot more when we can no longer afford to buy their stuff.

So the summary is that I am entirely burned out and everything is pretty depressing and I should have booked my week off for next week but I have to get through one more week of Temp’s bullshit before I can get enough rest to face ... well, this mess.

#Thess has a day job #Thess on economics

[ahiddenpath]

I’m Back from Vacay/Life Update/Writing Update

Gonna getcha up to date on Hiddenland beneath the cut!

Vacation

I returned from the US Virgin Islands, St. Thomas yesterday.  We were there for 5 days.  I’ve never been, and I’ve also never taken a “do nothing” vacation, so it was an adventure, lol!

We stayed near Red Hook in an air B&B.  The internet basically persuaded me not to try a resort, citing crowded resorts, lack of privacy, etc- also, a lot of resorts don’t really provide easy access to a beach.  Our unit had its own pool, which was a huge selling point...  But unfortunately, it was fed by ice cold spring water.  Literally, when we hurt our feet, we put them in the pool to reduce the swelling.  So...  Well, I was disappointed by that.

But the beaches were stunning, with turquoise water that you could walk into- it was fairly warm, I mean, not “ooof ughh coldcoldcold!”.  I guess the trouble was getting out, since there were constant breezes on the beach, enough for kite surfing in some places.  

So if you know me, you might know that I have anxiety and that I’m...  Busy brained?  I was so antsy the first day of the trip, thinking-  Is this really fun?  Wouldn’t doing something be better?  But after about three hours of sitting on the beach, my brain flipped off like a switch.  I never felt like...  “Ahhhh, so relaxed.”  Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt that.  But my brain did go quiet, and I read three books in five days, lol.

We also went on a turtle snorkel and sunset sailing tour.  We did see one green sea turtle, and thank goodness, because snorkeling in St. Thomas was nothing like snorkeling in Hawaii, at least not where we went.  In Hawaii, there’s always something to look at, all kinds of colorful fish.  In St. Thomas, I saw one turtle and a handful of sea stars.  The sailing was nice, though- I’ve never sailed before.

I also got horrendously sunburned the first day.  You know how it is- that first day, I’m all cute in my swimsuit, feeling great.  The second day, I’m wearing a swim shirt, swim trunks for ladies (truly the best thing ever), swim socks, a hat, sunglasses, and visible regret.  Seriously, I really hurt myself, I was in agony.  I applied and reapplied the heck out of my 50 SPF sunscreen, too, so I’m pissed.

If you want more details, let me know, because I learned a lot on the trip about vacationing in St. Thomas.  Overall, I’d say it was a nice lowkey experience, but damn the sunburns and the ice pool were upsetting.  

Also, my shy cat recognized me right away when I came home, which was a relief!  On my last trip, she treated me like I was a stranger wearing a Hidden suit for a few days x_x

Life Update

I feel like I’ve just been...  Adjusting?  To a new life?  The last few months.  I can say that my new job really is a mental health improvement over the last one.  I also get paid more- like appreciably more, and it turns out that this also reduces stress (who knew, right? /sarcasm).  But it is still a huge adjustment, and I’ve already found some of the new problems in the new place (mainly that they are hiring more people than they have space for, and they just... keep... hiring and telling us to deal with it however we want).

I’ve also been focusing on health, particularly exercising and reducing my resting heart rate.  I already reduced it by 2 bpm in about 6 weeks!  Taking better care of my physical self truly is possible, like in quantifiable ways (which makes my scientist brain happy).  It just helps to have small, manageable goals, and to focus on health rather than weight.

Writing News

So for most of camp digimonth, we had daily 45 min sprints for our writers and artists on the discord.  It was really fun to create together, and I’m so proud of everyone!    

I hate to say it, but I basically wrote or finished two new chapters, and barely touched my nanowrimo draft.  I also completed an artwork and am mostly done with another.  Er- basically, I did a lot, but also not...  What I...  Thought I would?

Soooo I am thinking that updates to PdA will start again in late February or early March, to give me more time to make a ready-to-post content buffer.  

And on that note, I’m going to go write!  Much love, mwah!  I hope you’re all doing amazing.

#hidden's life

[jimilter]

💌 profile tag game!

— thank you for tagging me dearest jen @jeonqkooks, precious mindy @parkdatjimin and my ridzietta @taegularities <3 ily guys <3

name: ash

sign: sagittarius 🏹

height: 5’6 (:

time: 01.30 shhh

birthday: december 7th!

fav bands/artists: off the top of my head we’ve got - bts, shawn mendes, taylor swift, doja cat, lorde, camila cabello, halsey, maroon 5, lana del rey, ritviz, mitraz <3

last movie: free guy! 

last show: dark (ya girl finally caught up 15 years later...)

when i created this blog: june 16th, 2021 <3

what i post: fics + occasional moodboards + random screams + life updates ig?

other blogs? a recs sideblog here, @jimilter-recs | i also have a harry potter + mcu blog which can be found if you really hunt, but i’d rather not mention it | @livingforshawnscurls which i haven’t touched in a year (:

do i get asks? yes 🥺 all of y’all are so kind, thank you, i love you 🥺

followers: a number i never though i could get to! the milestone we hit in june has doubled in number, y’all ): i’m gonna cry...

average hours of sleep: this question is always put in just to bully me :| 4-5 hours, okay, and that works for me, let’s move on.

instruments: i used to play the guitar...but i haven’t touched it in like 18 months </3

what i’m wearing: no u should be asking what i am NOT wearing bec - a thermal shirt, a regular shirt, a hoodie and a sweater on top over everything that is baggy enough to cloak the layer (: + thermal leggings and woolen pajama bottoms (: + woolen socks (:

dream trip: brooooo europe 🥺

favourite songs: right now, it’d be the entire indigo + team by lorde + vigilante shit by tay + no body, no crime by tay + cardigan by tay + megatron by nicki minaj + doin’ time by lana del rey + burn it by agust d 

tagging: @sailoryooons @gimmethatagustd @kth1 @jeonjcngkook @opaljm @ugh-yoongi @park-jimin-isnt-real @ahundredtimesover @daechwitatamic @astralmono @missgeniality @jjkeverlast

#c: tag game #jeonqkooks #mindy 💟 #ridzie🥺 #the feeling is mutual 💝

[sbwrites]

Eddie Munson headcannons bcz I haven’t finished the kinktober post yet

Definitely listens to queen only bcz Brian is one of his favourite guitarists

Used to babysit the kids in the trailer park when he was younger for some extra cash before he started selling drugs

Will only sell to over 16s and not to any of his friends

His main stims are jumping and headbanging

His main hyper fixation is metal

He will tell you everything about his favourite bands or book if you let him

His mum & dad are in prison because of a crime they committed together, he doesn’t care when they get out or if they do

Trans!eddie definitely named himself after eddie van halen & iron maiden’s mascot

He only wears soft pj pants & band t shirts around the trailer

Only gets dressed if he really has to because sometimes his clothes make him over stimulated

Refuses to get a corporate job and said to Wayne “I’d rather deal drugs for the rest of my life than waste away at a corporate job with a stupid boss”

Never knows what to get Wayne for any holiday so he buys him mugs because they’re cheap and thoughtful

Over charges jocks & people he knows have money

Saved up for almost three years to buy his guitar and amp because he refused to let Wayne buy it

Got his acoustic guitar from a yard sale for $5 because a string broke

All his rings/ accessories are from yard sales

His leather jacket used to be Wayne’s when he was a teenager

Saved up good money so he could go see Metallica in ‘85

His van was a 16th bday present from Wayne but the whole trailer park pitched in

Accidentally fell asleep in the back of his van one night and woke up to hopper banging on his van door bcz Wayne filed a missing person report

Only went to jail once bcz he beat up a guy at the bar for trying to drug a girl

Gareth bailed him out

Has boxes under his bed filled with things from past hyper fixations

forgets to return movies so he has a piece of paper on the fridge and on his wall with all of the return by dates on

slept at some of his friends houses and go back to the trailer before wayne woke up for a bit when he first moved in because he was scared he was overstepping

when wayne found out he gave him a hug and put up some Metallica posters up with him

the only time he asked wayne to help him is when he spray painted the corroded coffin banner

He only wears certain types of socks because other ones over stimulate him

Has a massive hyper fixation on space

Wanted to be a scientist when he was a kid

Used to win science fairs in elementary and middle school

Can cook a really good mac & cheese and spaghetti bolognese

Loves the sound of rain but would rather die than get any rain on him

Only does laundry once a month because he hates the laundry mat

Hates being cold but hates wearing scarves and coats so he layers up under his regular clothes

He’s not mean he just takes a while to warm up to people because of the bullying he’s been put through

Had always been bullied because of who his parents were but it got worse when he started expressing his love for his hyper fixations

Got a buzz cut because he got some bad knots in his hair and tugging his hair is overwhelming for him

#eddie munson #sb.eddie munson #stranger things #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things volume 2

[justmybookthots]

Once Upon a Broken Heart / A Ballad of Never After

1.5/5 stars

What can I say about this series except that it was so terribly disappointing? 

The most vexing part was that I actually found the first book decent - not very good, but it was decent, and I enjoyed it. Also, a lot of people said that this book was much better than Caraval, so I’m kind of scared of / morbidly fascinated by how bad Caraval must be now.

But anyway, that is beside the point. The first book is decent, with a very pretty writing style and a simple but engaging plot. The writing was very redolent of a fairy tale; it actually reminded me a little of Enid Blyton’s writing in her children's stories. However, it did give me the feeling that the story was a little vapid at times - maybe I just needed more grit, blood and strife, and less focus on true love ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Not that there wasn’t any in the story, but the conflict rang kind of hollow, and I can’t exactly pinpoint why. I felt as if I were reading a series of tropes and mechanisms rather than an actual person going through all those things.

I must say that I disliked Evangeline, even in the first book. Here is a picture of her:

Before I elaborate on why she looks like that, let's start with the early parts of her I disliked. She was naïve and stupid, and had some real Main Character Syndrome (to be fair, she is the main character, but she's not supposed to know that). I cringed when she entered the North and immediately dreamed of marrying Prince Apollo, when she didn’t even know him yet, all for the expectations of a happy ending for herself. The secondhand embarrassment was at its peak when Apollo stepped towards the girl he would choose for the first dance, and she stepped forward, thinking he was about to choose her.

He didn’t. 

:)

I should probably talk about Jacks, who is arguably the heart of the story. Or the broken heart, because he, uh, is the Prince of Broken Hearts. 

I hate him. 

See, it's a pity because I actually liked him in the first book; his characterisation was intriguing, clever and to my taste. I thought he still had a lot of untapped potential, though, because I’d barely scratched the surface with him in Book 1. And with BookTok wanking him to oblivion - someone chose him over a gazillion book boyfriends - I had hopes that the sequel would blow my socks out of water. (Yes, yes, my misplaced faith in BookTok's credibility is my own vice)

Well, it did! Without a doubt, the sequel certainly blew all my hopes that this story would ever be decent 👍

Jacks is a coward. That’s all he ever is, and does. How does one do cowardice, you might ask? Well, you run and hurt the person you’re supposed to love, over and over again. Because he’s afraid of hurting Evangeline, he, uh, hurts her. Yes. And he spends the sequel being an ass - he flirts with girls frequently, while rudely barging in the moment Evangeline strikes up a conversation with another man. My teeth were grinding when she caught him in that deserted corridor with that girl, about to kiss her after spending the evening constantly sabotaging Evangeline’s attempts to get over him with other men.

If you don’t want her, fine. If you’re too much of a wuss, whatever. But what you don't do is stop her from starting something with someone else. You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.

And Evangeline? She actually started the book writing a letter to herself as a reminder that she must never fall for Jacks because he was dangerous. And how does she spend the last half of the book? Spoiler: Mooning over Jacks and acknowledging she’s fallen for him (which I was… very unconvinced about because the build-up to their romance SUCKED) and telling herself she was going to save him from his fear of love.

My dear, you are not Bob the Builder. No woman should be for any man. I think you should go fix your head first.

The last nail in the coffin for me was when Jacks revealed that all along, he was planning to turn back time to be with another girl (whom he didn't even love, but hoped to score a second chance with). 😂 Hilarious. You could turn back time to before the curse befell you, and you choose to go back... for some chick you didn't like? I get his theme is wanting to find true love, but I always found that so frivolous, and of course, so insulting to poor Evangeline. And after she “died” and he decided to turn back time to save her life - which, by the way, does not redeem anything for me. This girl practically risked her life to help you get the stones to help you find your true love. This is the least you can do, loser - he was such a rude ass to her to “protect her”. 

For once, Evangeline grew enough balls (it lasted for about as long as the dialogue went before she lapsed back into Bob-the-Builder mode again) to tell him this after he yelled at her:

EXACTLY. 

Anyway, I have ranted enough about this book. I don’t want any part of it anymore, and will not be abusing myself by reading the next book. I MAY read Caraval, mainly because I want to see just how bad it is. And also, I want to be sure Stephanie Garber is really a lost cause before I write her off completely. 

- 15 July 2023

#booklr #books #reading #once upon a broken heart #ballad of never after #romantasy #bookish

[fullmetalcarer]

I posted 11,312 times in 2022

73 posts created (1%)

11,239 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@akasanata

@beatrice-otter

@l-p-r-o-c-k

@insertmeaningfulusername

@turtletotem

I tagged 9,360 of my posts in 2022

Only 17% of my posts had no tags

#cherik - 1,030 posts

#stucky - 485 posts

#snort - 213 posts

#bucky barnes - 190 posts

#james mcavoy - 188 posts

#chris evans - 157 posts

#sebastian stan - 143 posts

#art - 138 posts

#charles xavier - 125 posts

#the winter soldier - 124 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#last time we traveled to america i bought so much health up insurance because i was terrified of the huge medical bills we’d be hit with if

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Erik and Charles saying their goodbyes “you’re psychic Charles you can convince me to do anything” wow erik you slut

11 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

#4

if anyone ever wonders if it’s worth leaving a short comment on an old fic yes it is coz I just got one and it’s got my day off to a great start :) <3

14 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#3

watching blake’s 7. Avon is climbing rather cautiously down a ladder into a bunker. Meanwhile, up top, people in silver suits are being attacked by people in gorilla suits

16 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

#2

garden’s looking good - I’ll need to water tonight as it’s v dry and v hot

18 notes - Posted July 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

So it’s midnight and I’m lying in the sofa idly scrolling with horrible bosses on the tv - no, I don’t know why either - when a van pulls up outside - I can see the light thru the blinds - and I hear low voices and then a couple of torches (flashlights) are heading for my front door. What do I do:

a. Go upstairs, wake my partner, see if we can see what’s going on from the bedroom window?

b. grab my phone ready to call the emergency services and maybe a knife from the kitchen or that heavy candlestick from the cabinet?

c. Unlock the front door and go running out in my socks and old cardi and chase the van until it disappears round the corner?

If you guessed c. where I show a total disregard for my own safety and forget that I’m not enhanced therefore cannot catch a van on foot and even if I did wtf would I do then, well, you’re right.

Some sense returned to me and i went back home only to find a bag of pastries on our front door step. We have a weekly milk delivery and we’d ordered danish and they’d run out so they said they’d deliver mid week.

I’d been pursuing a couple of milkmen.

24 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #wow that’s a lot of cherik #not exactly killing it with my original posts lol

[godmerlin]

thanks @90soldsoul you know i love answering these haahaha

Are you satisfied with the way your life is right now? Unfortunately, no.

Do you drink enough water?: I probably need to drink more than I do somedays, but I try.

When was the last time you ate at Burger King?: the 1990s. lol

Do you prefer the beach or the mountains?: Hmmm...Maybe the beach? If it’s private at least. If not than I choose mountains. but I live in the mountains and honestly it’s annoying AF.

How do you usually feel when you wake up on a morning?: ANnoyed that I woke up. lol

Would you rather take someone on a date, or be taken on a date?: Be taken on a date because the other involves me over thinking and anxiety inducing thoughts like “will they like it!?” I’d rather be let down by something subpar than be the one who lets the other person down lmfao

When was the last time you wore high heeled shoes?: I don’t remember. I can’t walk in them because of my knee.

Vodka or wine?: Wine I guess. But I RARELY drink.

How often do you cry?: lately? like 5 days out of the week at least. Since my mom died things have been rough.

Ever had a crush on a teacher?: ahaha Once! he was the band teacher lol

Can you wire a plug?: I don’t believe so since I have no idea what this is lmao

Do you wear socks to bed?: Only, and i do mean only, if im frozen solid from sickness. I hate socks in bed ugh

What is currently bugging you?: Making a choice between 2 objects. I want them both but only have room for one so I’m like, which one do I *need* more?

Where were you when you got your first period (if it applies)?: Ah....it was 9/11 lmao and I think I got it at school but it didn’t register what it was til I got home. I had hurt myself badly during gym that day and was going to hop into the shower with my sister so she could wash my leg down It was covered in cuts and gravel and it hurt too much to do it myself lmfao anyway when i took down my pants she noticed and yelled for my mom who came in and they explained to me it was my period (i had had sex ed before this but I still didn’t think to think that lmao) and I just started crying so hard sobbing that I didn’t want to be a woman. LMAO my mom would tell like EVERYONE this story for YEARS she thought it was so hilarious....and my sister still does to this day. Lmao god.

Can you change a car tire?: Not anymore. my dad taught me how to when i was little but i forgot how. lol

Have you met more than ten celebrities?: Yes, I have!

Do you sleep naked?: No....i hate the feeling of bare skin lmao

What was the best music gig you’ve ever attended?: Robbie Williams live in Las Vegas. I don’t think any other musician will ever top that for me lol. because i never thought I’d ever see him live. I feel like the only musician to top that will be Rob himself, if I ever get the chance to see him again. lol

Have you ever had sexual feelings for anyone you follow?: nooo

Do you think Benedict Cumberbatch is hot?: Yeah, I do. but he’s not what I refer to as “a fave”.

Favourite Disney princess?: Jasmine!!!!

Favourite city?: probably new york, im biased i guess. the vibes are just me. But for out of state.....Los Angeles was quirkier than I thought it was so I’ll go with that.

Can you drive?: Yes.

Cigarettes or alcohol?: alcohol...

Excercise or healthy eating?: i mean you need both but im probably more apt to excersize than eat healthy...Lmao I do eat healthier than I did before but it’s hard because i have issues with certain foods.

Favourite and least favourite accents?: i love the irish accent! any of them! and a scottish one...ANd a british one......from anywhere in the countries. Ahahhaa my least fave is gotta be Boston. LMAO sorry Chris I love you anyway!

What are you looking forward to?: not too much really, things are grim for me. I’ll say eating pizza tonight. LOL

Did you play Red Rover when you were a child?: yeah lol

Are you more attracted to men or women?: Men. but i do find women attractive sometimes.

Do you like 1980s fashion?: it depends on what type of fashion you mean, there’s so many different kinds from one decade alone. Lol. But I like fashion from every decade of the 20th century so I’ll say yes.

#about me #tagged in #fun things