#i would tag skeppy as well but hes barely there so how about no | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thesnailkiwi · 8 months

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1, 2, 8, 12, 17, 18, 19, 22, 23, and 25 for traffic life?

1. The character everyone gets wrong

Okay, see, I know people have different ideas and opinions and headcannons, but OH. MY. GOSH. DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED.

The MCYT fandom makes me want to scream half the time. I'm gonna say it. Everyone gets BadBoyHalo wrong. Skeppy, Tommyinnit, JSchlatt, Stressmonster, Niki, and a bunch more, too. Half the time I want to explode in this fandom, so I stick with fanart, unless it's flower husbands. Because most FH shippers can read the characters well.

Musical theatre. People always (well, okay, not *always*) get Heather McNamara wrong when acting. I've seen so many awful versions. And Jenna Rolan from Be More Chill, especially when writing fanfic. Though, lemme tell you, all the characters in Be Less Single (BMC dating sim fan game) were spot on. Perfect, I tell you.

2. Compelling argument why my fave would never top or bottom

OKAY SO LISTEN UP, FUCKERS. MICHAEL MELL IS A SWITCH AND I STAND BY THAT.

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

8. Common fandom opinion everyone is wrong about

I'm overthinking. This could either mean opinions ABOUT fandom or fandom discourse. I'm assuming the latter.

I dunno man. I don't pay attention much to other people's opinions. I mean, if they badmouth my blorbos, I will have a compelling argument why the are the best being to exist. Headcannon-wise? I mean, okay, I really don't want this taken the wrong way *at all*. But I don't like it when people include [insert character] is trans/queer/pronouns/mental disability if it doesnt have anything to do with the fafic/story that's being told. I understand if you project or write a vent fic or whatever, because those are things to get out of your brain, or if you headcannon this or that, I get it. But if it has no relevance at all to the story, *if it isn't even mentioned*, DONT PUT IT IN THE GODDAMN TAGS.

It's not really a heated opinion, but I needed that out there.

I don't really like to shit on other people's headcannons. But if the opinion is "glup shitto is a bad character", OR FUKIGN WHATEVER THE FUCK THE MCYT SPACE DID TO NIKI, then I will fight you.

WAIT WAIT DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON TOMMYINNIT X HERMITCRAFT. OR TOMMYINNIT X EMPIRES. UGH. I HATE IT SO MUCH.

12. The unpopular character I like and everyone else hates

Okay. Listen. Purpled. Barely anyone paid attention to that guy because he wasn't a "main character" (there were none in the DSMP, people.) And everyone doesn't like his character after what he did to Slime. But I feel like he's a super deep character that gets overlooked. Quackity literally blew up his house and forced him to go live in Las Nevadas. Quackity also took a lot more from him, too. And when he killed/kidnapped Slime, he was projecting and let all of his grief out on the thing that Quackity cared about, since everything Purpled loved was taken from him.

17. There should be more of this type of fic/art

Okay okay okay. But like, guys. Coffee shop au's. It's simple, right? It's one of the most well known. BUT JESUS, BMC FANDOM, THERE ARE LIKE 5 TOTAL ON AO3. SOULMATE ONES, TOO.

Speaking of soulmates, the Hermitcraft/Life series doesn't have that many non-canon function ones. Like, I want to see timers. Or strings. Or the characters see color for the first time. Or the place their soulmate touches them first changes colors. There's not many.

18. It's absolutely criminal the fandom has been sleeping on...

The MCYT fandom has been sleeping on a bunch of damned bricks, don't even get me started.

There's too much to put for the MCYT fandom.

The BMC fandom has been sleeping on the wholeass line of "If Christine likes me in the end, will I be able to pretend I didn't fail my one real friend?" And all of the hidden stuff in the music. Like how in the broadway version, in The Play, the backtrack plays LGW when Jeremy gives Christine the Mtn Dew Red.

19. I'm mad/ashamed/horrified that I like...

I'm not answering this one. I apologize, but these heinous words do not need to be said to the entire world.

22. The favorite part of Canon everyone ignores

MCYT: everyone ignores smaller creators and literally the entire Canon. So all of it.

BMC: okay, listen, the silver hair the squip has is an absolute banger, okay??? And let's talk about that entire couch scene where Christine rejects Jeremy.

23. The ship I'm unwillingly coming around to

Majorwood. Kill me. I hate it so much omg but like, it slaps.

25. Annoying common fandom complaint

Uh, guys, it's okay to like the Era when ranboo and tubbo were friends. It's not taboo. I still go back and watch vods.

Sorry that one genuinely pisses me off whenever I see people like, "I wish that never happened". Like, guys, don't ignore important parts of what got ranboo to who he is and where he is today. Educate the young boobers. It's not wrong to like when two people are friends.

Then I hate it when people complain about shipping convex and are like "they're brothers!" No, they're not. That's your headcannon, not mine. Same with Grian and Jimmy. They aren't brothers. You can ship them if you want, just don't make it weird.

Anyway, thank you as per usual for sending me the ask, trash the beloved

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dreamcatcherrs · 3 years

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can u do streamers with a plus size reader? ty i love ur fics ♡

+ reminder! every body type is beautiful in its own way, and I’m sure that all of the mcyts would want to date a person of any size! hope you enjoy<3

++ I also added a couple of insecurities that are common for a lot of people cause I felt like it ^-^

dating a plus size reader; mcyt x reader

dream:

dream is an absolute softie for you

he will literally carry you anywhere you go

even if you insist for him not to

he just lifts you up into his arms and runs off with you

as I’ve mentioned before, he loves squishy places of the body

especially the booty ;)

so expect a lot of grabbing whenever he’s near you (with your consent, of course)

always tells you how amazing you look

even if you’re only wearing sweatpants and a basic tee and feel like absolute shit

and he would definitely have you pose for pictures of his merch

georgenotfound:

he loves resting his head on you

uses your chest as his personal pillow

he thinks it’s absolutely crazy how you’re able to make every outfit look good

like, you could wear a plastic bag and still look like a model to him

you two go out to eat fast food at the most random times

some days midnight, some days at 5am

admires your confidence

sapnap:

THIGHS THIGHS THIGHS

he loves your thighs sooo much and always has his hands (or eyes) on them

he almost holds your thigh more than your hand

and he just thinks you’re so gorgeous and can’t believe he can call you his

but when he finds out you don’t think so, his mind is blown

like... what?

are you blind????

he tells you how “you’re so fucking hot” every day until you start thinking so yourself

badboyhalo:

loves baking cakes with you

and makes sure you’re always well fed

he absolutely adores your stretch marks!

he loves just tracing his fingers over the lines

following them around with his fingertips

and gets very focused about it to a point where he stops listening to you talk

he makes sure you never feel down about something as natural as stretch marks

and makes sure to kiss every place you're insecure about

technoblade:

techno literally doesn't care what you look like

he only cares if you're happy, cause he really hates seeing you sad

especially when he can't do anything about it

so when he catches you one day looking at yourself in the mirror with a look of disgust

his heart crumbles in his chest

sits you down to talk about it

and gets more touchy afterwards along with spurring out compliments more often

wilbur soot:

wilby is also a big sucker for thighs

he’s not super grabby, but he gets his point across;

that he absolutely loves every part of your body

to be honest, like techno, I see wilbur as someone who literally does not care what you look like

if he likes you, he’ll love the way you look either way

he is very appreciative of soft, fleshy parts of your body

that he can just cling onto when he wants

jschlatt:

fuck, does schlatt love to have you on his lap

like he might not come across as someone who’s cuddly

but I’m telling you

he is super cuddly

he just wants someone to hold and to be held by

he needs that physical touch and he just can't seem to keep his hands off of you

he’ll tell you “you look so stupid right now”, laugh, and then give you a big ol’ bear hug

jokes aside, he makes sure you know just how dizzyingly beautiful you look 24/7

corpse husband:

fishnets, legs, fishnets, legs

even if you don't like wearing fishnets, he’s just all; legs, grab, thighs, squish

no but seriously he loves your legs so much

they just catch his attention and immediately make him go soft

without you doing anything you’ll just hear him giggle at you

and then realise he’d been looking at you for a hot minute, just taking in how absolutely stunning you look

and he doesn't fail to let you know that :)

karl jacobs:

like wilbur, I think he just genuinely doesn't care and loves you regardless of what you look like

we all know that karl’s way of showing affection is through touch

so he loves cuddling up to you

using your chest as a pillow and engulfing you in his arms

and he’ll be whining within a second if you even a much as try to move away from him

something he doesn't realise he does, but you do, is that he will just randomly hold on tight to a certain part of your body

even if you're just talking

his hands will be on you without him even noticing

and it’s really cute

skeppy:

I’ve mentioned this before, but I think that skeppy really likes the way skirts look on you

or tight-fitting jeans

anything that compliments your body, really

though he does like the way you look without any clothes on

anyways, he fucking loves your body so much

and any person who thinks differently is not his friend

he’s always hugging you

or brushing his knuckles over your arms lovingly

small touches are his forté

fundy:

he can never seem to keep his eyes off of you

no matter how hard he tries, you’re just too gorgeous

isn’t the touchiest of the boys, but when he’s in the need for some physical touch, he’s very obvious about it

will start off by holding your hand

and then maybe move onto hugging you from behind

comes off pretty clingy once he needs that love and affection

he just loves touching you; maybe cause your skin is soft? he’ll never tell you (it’s his little secret)

quackity:

MMMME GUSTAAA

he looooooves loves loves how, and I quote, “thicc you are”

and he gets so clingy, too

makes grabby hands at you if he needs to to catch your attention

and definitely, without a doubt, uses your chest as his personal pillow

he’s also a squisher

your thigh’s kinda become his little stress toy

alex will fully commit to being a complete simp for you - he does not care at this point

can get blushy sometimes when he catches himself looking at you for too long

punz:

if you thought that sapnap would be wild when it comes to thighs, let me introduce you to this man

luke is a massive sucker for some thick thighs

and don't even get me started on the flesh on your hips

he lowkey has an addiction to constantly keeping his hands on there, but it’s not like you mind

it’s like his hands are glued onto you sometimes

holding on tightly or gently, doesn't matter

and sometimes he’ll even get lost in the way his fingers dig into your skin

can't fathom the fact that you're all his

awesamdude:

sam is literally the cutest🥺

gives you compliments all the time

and literally always has a hand on you to gently caress your skin

and he is always gentle with his touches

and I mean always

drawing circles onto your back or arm using his thumb

placing small kisses on your temple

he always posts pictures of you on his instagram and twitter

has like one or two pictures of himself, and the rest are of you :]

slimecicle:

literally smothers you with love and affection

he loves the little dents in your thighs from cellulite

finds it sooo attractive

loves to trace his fingers over the dents

notices immediately if there are changes in your eating habits

and will confront you the second he notices cause he can't bare the thought of you eating less than usual

makes sure it never happens again

eret:

they have a special seat for you right on his lap

if you were comfortable with it she’d love for you to sit with them in his streams

SHOWERS you with compliments

constantly

and leaves trails of kisses everywhere

even if you whine about it being too much or distracting you

he ignores it and continues

can't believe she’s ended up with such a god/dess as you

jack manifold:

jack was completely shocked when he found out you were insecure about your body

what was there to be insecure about?

to his eyes you were completely perfect, and he just couldn’t understand how… you couldn’t see that?

makes sure you now how absolutely stunning you are

can't help but to show you off to everyone (he is a leo after all)

and also let’s his hands roam all over you - with your consent, of course!

adores you so much

tommy:

tommy had seriously never thought of it before you’d said that you didn’t want a piece of cake after he asked

and he goes; why?????

and you’re like; I shouldn't eat it

and he’s even more ???

doesn't know what why or when you decided you “shouldn't” do something as normal as eating

it’s so very obvious how soft he is for you when it’s just the two of you

and even succumbs to his soft side in front of others if he gets too caught up in your beauty

tubbo:

tubbo just… doesn't care

like, at all

but of course he notices the absolute beauty of you, and will simp for you

doesn't shower you with compliments, but gives subtle signs

a common one is squeezing your hand

or calling you cute or adorable

brushing a strand of hair out of your face

simplicity is his thing

ranboo:

lots of hugsss

unintentionally squeezes too hard so you have to tap his shoulder

and he just giggles

he likes resting his head on practically any part of your body

cause you're so comfy

wants to constantly fondle you in his arms

he’s become so used to clinging to you, it’s just by instinct at this point

____________________________________

tag list✰

@zayenz @terribletoothbat @0t0n1n @0125cm @yukiuheh @shinee-is-5-forever @regularnoceur @b01nk-b0w@christhebish@nutritious-emo-crackkk@bookishreid@giavanna-707 @reddiesmcdonalds@cosmins@vixxzial@autumnpleaves@paradigmax@meaganjm@shiningsunrises@moralofwalls@username1212131@gxldentaestuff@innitdream @televisionpresent38 @bubblyanis@zurami @highoffhockey @popinjaytaylor@196os@livsbaby@doubts-of-gold@bunlina@retrav @mcyt-is-my-life@aleaisntcreative @my-shitpost-of-writing @my-shitpost-of-writing @clownsdrowning @pissbabywastaken@shiningsunrises @tie-dyed-dumbass @death-by-rats@simpfordraco @bippity-boppity-boopa@neongreendaydreams @vibin-by-myself@littlepotatos0w0@christhebish @pipp-poppz@btsiguess-kpop@prettysmallfries@hiyoko-kos@kenmxskitten@fudrudy@weepingartanimespy@rhino-zucchini@goldenstarofthunderclan@melonmarz@ubeicecreamisthebest@polaroidinurroom @ady-yoo@isimpforeveryone@edenhollandd@ineedtogetoutofhere@glitter-night @hamilsandersfam@mothheart-witch @wrong-exit@trashcanfullofdork @hellfirepheonixx @marshmallow-babe@isimpforeveryone @ky50621 @randomcloud@wormie4k@dinonuggies50 @p4rty-t4ttoos@aspenthegremlin@book-of-anarchy @jeyacore @thetattooink@gogywasfound@millavalntyne@junob1ade@ubeicecreamisthebest@karida @i-have-paws-love@drvgonraja@eatasslikegrass@creamofweep@venusomega@lunarfedora@rowe-n @wreny24 @vincent-stargogh @floatingplanets @vernon-dursley @childhoodgrunge @fivxss @hexagonclash @crazyjuls12 @littlebabysandboxburritos @shifted-dreams@lenamarie666 @reinyrei @sozvuchiy @weaslvy-mxlfoy @aiofheavenandhell @honeyglaazed @carisle-mikealson @ineedtogetoutofhere @twist3dtinkerbell@cracraforfandoms@angel-dazey @leia-starly @smiithys @squiddyyyy @c0wc0ww @animeweeb019284 @m00-bl00m-k0le @stqrs-thoughts @jenlouvre @uhhhguiltypleasures @trappedchest @punzrights @trashgremlin36 @cyberrsoot @elebeleb @k3nn3dis-crap @karlshoodies @rascal-in-banishment @heartbroken-writer @bartok-the-magnificent @ihavenoideashelp @goldiefox1 @bethybop @helluhru @venuzblr @pha5ed5tar50 @cscooop @bethybop @lunareclipse-13 @http-strawberryy

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arts-and-drafts · 3 years

Text

MCYTTOBER DAY 7: Hunter

(Yeah I'm still doing this. I had a lot of fun with this one!! I'm not good at battle scenes so apologies if things are a little scattered ^^;; What's going on here? No clue! Hope you enjoy anyways!)

Bad was a killer.

You would know it by looking at him: intimidating build, shadowy form, glinting fangs and piercing white eyes. But if one ever interacted with him for the first time, they would assume there had been a mistake.

He cried when he got too upset, and always greeted someone with a dazzlingly wholesome smile. He baked to relax and scolded others for swearing and gave the best hugs.

In truth, Bad in person was very different from Bad on the job.

He was part of an assassin's agency known simply as "The Hunters". Him and his three associates, Sapnap, George, and Antfrost, were a well oiled machine of death. Their target was quickly disposed of 9 out of 10 times.

The one outlier that drove Bad crazy was Dream. No last name, no known family, no known contacts. He was barely visible on the radar as is, and he was infuriatingly adept at avoiding the Hunters no matter what they tried. Traps, arrows, bombs, even direct melee attacks; Dream somehow found a way to escape every single time. It made Bad want to tear his hair out.

However, their client had put more money on Dream's head than Bad had ever owned in his life, so they kept trying, no matter how frustrated they got when Dream always seemed to be a step ahead.

They were giving chase, again. Dream had the nerve to smile as he started to run from the assassins, as if they were playing a game of tag. Bad grit his teeth and ran faster.

Over the treetops, through the mines, underwater, on and on Dream lead the Hunters. They always got a few hits on him, after all they had practice with Dream's moves now, and this time was no exception. A well aimed shot from Sapnap hit Dream in the calf and he stumbled for just a moment, a precious mistake that allowed Bad to get even closer. His heartbeat roared in his ears as he kept Dream in his sight, and a frenzied smile lit his face when he realized Sapnap's arrow was slowing Dream down.

Then, the endgame. Dream had run straight into a dead end tunnel in the mountains, more or less a ravine by the time they hit the cavern's wall. Bad prepared himself; Dream never backed himself into a corner on accident, and that meant he was right about to turn and attack all four of them with an unexpected skill and ferocity.

As soon as the thought crossed Bad's mind, Dream was already turning, a glimmering axe blessed with enchantment in his grasp. He moved to swing at Sapnap, the closest in range, and Bad's blood went cold as he realized it was going to be a critical hit.

Before he could move, a streak of bloody red flew past Bad's vision and connected with Dream's chest, what was now recognized as a potion bottle shattering on impact. Dream let out a horrible choked scream and jerked to the side, his axe whiffing over Sapnap's head harmlessly.

Bad turned to see Ant, still poised from the throw, his fur stood on end in a perfect representation of Bad's own panicked feelings over Sapnap being in danger. A slow smile spread over the cat's muzzle as Dream collapsed against the wall, the effects of the potion sizzling against his skin and making him cry out.

Bad allowed himself to grin, and made his way in front of Sapnap to tower triumphantly above Dream's convulsing form. "Nowhere to run now, Dream." He reveled, drawing his diamond blade from its sheath on his back.

Bad opened his mouth to ask Dream for any last regards, but a sudden movement from behind his peripheral distracted him. "STOP!!"

Bad stepped back as George suddenly threw himself between him and Dream, arms splayed out in a hazardous attempt to shield Dream from view. A whirlwind of emotions spun in Bad's brain as he watched George's terrified face; mainly confusion, anger, and more confusion.

"What the honk are you doing, George?!" Sapnap exclaimed from behind, voicing the question Bad was struggling to form.

"You can't--you can't kill him." George said in a shaking voice, locking eyes with Bad. "What--George, he's our target!! What the muffin are you talking about?!" Bad replied, finally finding his words.

Tears filled George's eyes as his arms began to tremble, his feet firmly planted between Bad and Dream. "I--I love him." George said quietly, his voice catching on the last word.

Bad blinked. "...What?"

A look of guilt and shame twisted George's face at Bad's tone, but he didn't move away. "I--I've been giving him information so h-he didn't get caught." George whispered, looking at the ground. "H-He--he's innocent, Bad, you can't," George pleaded.

Bad wanted to be furious with George. He wanted to yell that it didn't matter if Dream was innocent, he was their target, and that was that. He wanted to scream at his friend for betraying them, for giving their information to the very one they were trying so hard to kill, how DARE he?

But he watched as Dream shook violently on the ground, watched George's face as he finally turned from Bad to look at the man he was supposed to kill with raw fear and desperation and love written all over his expression.

Bad remembered his Skeppy, how he looked at him the exact same way when Bad came home nursing wounds from Dream's latest escape.

Bad dropped his sword, the metal clang against stone echoing through the walls of the ravine. He heard Sapnap and Ant make vehement noises of shock and confusion at his action, but he ignored them.

George snapped his head around at the noise, wide eyes flicking between the sword and Bad's face as he realized what just happened. Bad sighed and closed his eyes.

"...Help him up." He stated, turning away. He couldn't shut out the sound of George immediately collapsing to Dream's side as soon as Bad seceded, tearily shushing Dream's cries and talking to him in a fervent whisper of panic.

"George--" Dream choked, his voice trembling with the weight of Ant's potion tearing through him. "I'm here, I'm here, Dream," George assured, biting down a sob of relief. "You're gonna be okay, you--it's gonna be okay."

("You'll be okay, Bad." Skeppy would say with a smile, planting a light kiss on the freshly bandaged wound as Bad tried his best not to wince. "I'm here now.")

Bad sighed. He was a very different person than he was on the job, and right now that meant Bad's true self as a friend to George was stronger than his desire for the money that would come from Dream's head.

Bad was a killer. What he wasn't was heartless.

END.

#tw injury #minecraft manhunt #mcyttober #day 7 #meraki post #dreamnotfound #loved this one #skephalo

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fallingappleshurt · 4 years

Text

My Best Friend in Blue

Hey so the creator of this AU is @antarctic-bay !! It’s really amazing and I want to say that I things I write are not canon! And my writing style is very weird in this I am so sorry, I can’t form cohesion sentences for shit

That being said take this shit

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Best Friend in Blue

Techno didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, it wasn’t something that really upset him, he had his brothers and everyone else was either annoying or just didn’t seem to like him. He didn’t care, he was perfectly fine on his own, he was quiet, more reserved with a cold demeanor, loud things were distracting and got on his nerves, so how’d he end up with this guy?

It started when he was 10, he was at the park with his brothers, Wilbur was on the swings, Tommy was on the playground equipment and Phil was making sure Tommy didn’t fall off of said playground equipment and Techno wasn’t sure what to do so he wandered the park until he heard a loud voice say,

“I can SO do magic! Just watch!” Techno looked over to see someone his age, dressed all in blue, chest puffed out. He stood in front of two other kids, Techno stopped to watch. The boy pulled off his bright blue beanie, it had a stupid face scribbled on it with marker.

“I’m going to make this hat,” He paused dramatically, “Disappear!”

He spun in a circle, throwing the hat behind himself before stopping in front of his friends, waving his hands, “See! Magic!”

One of the blue boy’s friends gasped but Techno just rolled his eyes. “You didn’t make it disappear, you just threw it behind you,” He pointed out, crossing his arms. The boy whipped his head around rapidly before spotting and making direct eye contact with Techno.

“No! I made it disappear! You’re probably just jealous you can’t do it!” He said, voice raising slightly.

“No you didn’t and I’m not, you just threw it over there,” Techno said,not unkindly, pointing to where the hat laid, bits of mulch stuck to it.

“No! It- I was-Ah!” The boy frowned before yelling, “Shut up!”

Techno just raised an eyebrow and walked away.

He had started fifth grade, walking into school everyone told him that the fifth graders were the oldest at the school so they were the role models, they had to set good examples for the younger kids. That made Techno think of Tommy, he wondered what stupid thing his little brother was doing. The teacher told them to find the desk with their name and sit down.

The desks were arranged in groups of 4, Techno found his and sat down, fidgeting nervously. He took a deep breath, trying not to let his anxiety get the better of him, he decided to look at the names of the people who would be sitting around him.

‘Milo’ was in front of him, ‘Hannah’ was next to him and diagonally was someone named ‘Skeppy’. Milo, Hannah, Skeppy. He repeated the mantra in his head, maybe they would get along, maybe he could make friends.

His thoughts were interrupted by a familiar loud voice and a chair screeching across the tile, it was the blue boy from the park. Of course it was, why wouldn’t it be. He sat at the desk with the name tag ‘Skeppy’ and he was still wearing a blue shirt and the beanie with the scribbled on face.

Techno froze and looked at his desk, refusing to look up, his anxiety spiked. He wanted to make friends but this would definitely ruin it, Skeppy would tell the others what he said and how much of a jerk he was, why did he say that at the park? He was so stupid, Skeppy wasn’t doing anything wrong, he was so stupid, this is why he didn’t have any friends-

He was ripped from his spiral by other voices, Milo and Hannah had sat down and Skeppy was introducing himself. Techno took a breath, made a fist and started running his thumb across his knuckles, maybe if he just laid low, Skeppy wouldn’t notice. His plan worked for like two minutes before Skeppy said, “Is that a pink pencil case?”

Techno jerked up as Skeppy leaned over his own desk to look at Techno’s, “That’s so cool! It reminds me of my friend-”

Techno just sat there in shock as Skeppy babbled on about his pencil case, unsure on what to do. Skeppy continued until he made eye contact with Techno.

“Wait, you’re that kid from the park! The one that doesn’t believe in magic!”

Milo and Hannah gave him a weird look, not cruel, just confused. Techno didn’t know what to do, he just quietly stammered it was barely more than a whisper. The desk clump stayed like that until the Teacher started talking loudly, Techno wrapped his arms around himself, feeling nauseous.

This was going to be a long year.

For the first few weeks of school he barely talked to the other students, he didn’t see the point, he answered questions in class and finished most of his work early, gaining the quiet, smart kid title from the rest of his class. His teacher had told him if he kept this up he could make it into honors classes in middle school. So even if he didn’t have any friends, he still had that going for him.

Until the dreaded;

“And for this assignment you are going to need a partner!”

Hannah and Milo reached across their desks to shake hands, so both of them were out. Techno bit his lip and stayed seated for a moment, before getting up to ask the teacher if he could work alone.

“No, this is a partnered assignment, could you not find a partner?”

Techno shook his head then immediately wanted to die as the teacher did that thing where she loudly asked who didn’t have a partner, basically broadcasting to the class that he was a friendless idiot.

She didn’t say that exactly but he knew she was thinking it.

“Okay, look, go work with Skeppy, you guys should make a good team!” Techno nodded and swore under his breath, apparently the universe just wanted him to suffer.

He walked back over to his desk only to find that Milo was sitting there and had pushed his stuff over so he could work with Hannah.

“Just take my desk for now, since you’re working with Skeppy,” Milo said, before going back to work.

Techno sat down stiffly as Skeppy looked him up and down, “Look I don’t want to work with you and you probably feel the same way so let's just do this on our own, okay?We can just turn it in at the same time.”

Techno nodded slowly, turning to his own paper, it was a math worksheet, he breezed through it effortlessly.

Techno had finished half of the first page in about five minutes, he looked over to see Skeppy still struggling on the first problem.

“You’re still on the first one?” Techno asked, trying not to sound rude.

“Yes! Shut up! Not everyone is as smart as you so just shut up!” Skeppy snapped, erasing aggressively.

“The teacher explained it though,”

“Yeah well the teacher did a bad job!” Skeppy stuck his hands in his hair, tugging at it.

Techno gently laid a hand on Skeppy’s shoulder, “Do you want help?”

“No from yo- Yes!- But- I don’t know!” Skeppy snapped.

“Here let me see,” Techno looked at Skeppy’s paper, he looked over the work before saying, “You’re dividing too early.”

“What?”

“You’re dividing too early, you gotta add this part first, then divide,” Techno said, pointing to the different parts of the equation.

Skeppy moved slowly, then started on the problem, solved it, then looked at Techno nervously, “Did I do it right?”

Techno scanned his work then nodded, “Yeah!”

“Wait really?”

“Yeah! You did it!”

“That’s awesome! I can’t believe it!”

Techno grinned, maybe this year wouldn’t be so bad.

He grunted as the same jackass from his class ‘bumped’ into him again, making him drop his stuff.

“Heh, my bad!” Jacob, the jackass, said in his stupid cocky voice, then continued down the hall as Techno stared daggers into his back, he wasn’t allowed to swear at school and he was supposed to be a role model, those were the only things stopping him from cussing the taller boy out.

It was the next day as he walked down the hall, he could hear Jacob’s shoes squeak against the tile, Techno tightened his hold on his things, bracing himself only to see Jacob flop on the floor next to him.

Techno jumped back, surprised as Jacob groaned, he looked to see Skeppy standing behind him, adjusting his beanie.

“Heh, my bad.” He said grinning at Jacob, then he looked up, “Come on Techno we’re gonna be late!” And with that, they took off, Techno smiling softly to himself. This was just the start of a blooming friendship.

He was walking to the middle school with Tommy to wait for Wilbur, when Tommy asked, “Are and that loud kid with the blue hat friends?” Techno thought about it for a moment, then “Yeah, he’s my friend,”

Tommy gave him a weird look, “That doesn’t make sense!”

“How so?”

Tommy looked deep in thought then declared loudly, “No wait it does! Because you like pink and he likes blues, so even if you guys are opposites your colors look nice together so it still works!”

“Really? That’s how you judge friendships? By each person’s favorite color?” Techno asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah! That’s how me and Tubbo are such good friends! Red and Green just go well together!”

“Okay, whatever you say.”

“Yes! Whatever I say!”

They were 12.

“You’re seriously telling me that you don’t know how to play kickball? When you live with that little ball of energy?”

“I don’t hang out with him and his friends,” Techno defended himself, “Okay I gotta teach you how to play, come on!”

“Can you help me with this worksheet?”

“Of course.”

“You haven’t seen that movie? How? It’s a classic!”

“I don’t know!”

“I can’t believe you actually dyed your hair blue!”

“I know right! I’m so happy my mom finally let me!”

They were 13.

“I don’t know Skeppy, he just gives me weird vibes, there is something off about him!”

“There is nothing wrong with him! You’re just jealous of the fact that I have been sending more time with him!”

“I’m not jealous of that nerd! I’m just trying to warn you!”

“I hate to be the one to break it to you Techno, but you are not God, you don’t know everything even though everyone tells you do you! I’m not going to stop hanging out with him! He’s my friend!”

“I don’t think that, jackass! I just want you to know-”

“I don’t care! Now if you don’t mind, I’m going to go hang out with my friends!” And with that he was gone.

Techno was quietly fuming, which made the walk home with his brothers hell, his whole demeanor was angry. He walked quickly and quietly, glaring daggers at anyone who dared to look at him.

They were half way home then Wilbur joked;

“Listen, I know you broke up with your boyfriend or whatever but could you atleast-”

“Shut up Wilbur!” Techno snapped back, Wilbur actually jumped. He looked between Techno and Tommy nervously.

“Okay, wow, I’m sorry geez, just trying to lighten the mood,” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, “Touched a nerve there,”

They were still friends, of course they were, but they didn’t spend as much time together, Techno focused on school, his classes were harder now and Skeppy had gotten a job and spent more time with Bad and some other guy that gave Techno weird vibes.

They still talked. They were still friends.

They could never not be.

They were 14.

“You dyed your hair pink?”

“No, my brothers did as a prank.”

“It looks amazing!”

“..Thank you..”

“Look at us! Pink and Blue buddies!”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Pink and Blue do go together nicely.”

They were 15.

Techno was working on homework when he got a call from Tommy, who was at a practice.

“Hey man, uh, Skeppy is sitting on the roof of the school, I don’t think he’s gonna do anything stupid but he won’t respond to anyone else, even when we throw stuff up there.”

“Is he okay?”

“I’m not sure, he won’t answer me, but he’ll probably talk to you,”

“Probably, okay, thanks for telling me, I’ll be right there.” He hung up before hearing Tommy's response and pulled on his shoes before starting heading towards the school.

He had heard rumors at school. Skeppy’s former friend, spreading rumors and other things about him, lies, trying to ruin his reputation. Techno had debunked and told everyone he could otherwise but that damage had been done.

He rushed around the school until he found Tommy, who pointed at the roof, “He’s up there!”

“Thanks for calling me,” Techno scanned the building, “I need to get up there.”

“Well I don’t know how he got up there but what if we got on the dumpster and I boosted you, you might be able to get up there.” Tommy suggested, Techno nodded, not taking his eyes off the roof, “Yeah lets try that.”

Both of the brothers climbed onto the dumpster, Tommy cupped his hands together and boosted Techno who grabbed the ledge of the building, pulling himself up.

“Thanks Tommy!” and with that he set off across the roof, looking for his friend.

Techno found him sitting on a vent, looking across the horizon. He didn't move as Techno sat down next to him. They sat in silence for awhile until Skeppy said;

“You were right.”

“That doesn’t matter,”

Techno put an arm around his shoulder. They sat in silence, staring at the sky.

“I thought he was my friend.”

“He acted like he was,”

“I’m such an idiot,”

“No you’re not.”

“I can’t believe I defended him,”

“It’s not your fault.”

Skeppy leaned into him, “Thank you, for being here.”

“Of course, we’re friends.”

Skeppy laughed lightly, “Yeah, Blue and Pink.”

Techno smiled softly,Blue and Pink always went so nicely together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Skeppy?”

“Yeah?”

“How are we gonna get down?”

“Oh shit-”

#technoblr #sleepyboysinc #sleepy boys inc #technoblade #wilbur soot #tommyinnit #tommy is a fucking gremlin #philza #ph1lza #fd au #FD!AU #sbi au #mcyt au #mcyt #family dynamics #skeppy #Apples Writing

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deathordemise · 3 years

Text

kachow hello everyone here’s a writing piece i’ve been working on since god knows when. i started it when tommy was still in exile, so the recent events kinda threw it into the non-cannon compliant, lol. anyway , this entire thing is based off the concept of dream wanting a ‘family’. dw, turned on auto cap to write it lmao. send asks regarding this if you wanna :)

here’s the one person who wanted to be tagged : @head-fullof-clouds

trigger warnings: looking down on someone based of age, imprisonment, gas lighting, one sided family dynamics (?), forced found family (??)

mainly tubbo and dream centric, but mentions of others. there’s more under the cut!!

Dream stands with his hands on his hips, surveying his past hours of work.

“Would you like Ranboo to room with you guys as well? You and him get along very well, and it’s nice to see you hang out with kids your age other than Tommy.”

Tubbo shakes his head, sitting on the edge of his bed. The adult sighs and shrugs.

“Okay, if you’re so sure.” He turns back to the other barrels full of things . Tubbo finally speaks up when he begins to assemble another bookcase.

“ I don’t want Tommy in here either.”

Dream straightens immediately, looking genuinely confused.

“But you guys are best friends! I would have loved sharing a room with my best friends when I was younger. I know you boys had that little fight during his exile, but surely you’ll get over it? I mean, I did spend all this time decorating his side of the bedroom.”

“This isn’t a bedroom,” Tubbo stands up and lunges at the bars. He grips it in an attempt to shake them, but the metal poles remain sturdy. “Dream, this is a prison cell!”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He scoffs. Tubbo remains glaring and hostile.

“You know I’m right. You know you’re making us all prisoners. It doesn’t matter how nice you make the cells, how good you make the meals, how lovingly you hand stitched these blankets. You’re holding us here against our will, with no escape. You’re nothing but a jail guard.” His tirade is cut off when Dream slams his fist into the crafting table.

“Stop!” Dream pauses to collect himself. He shudders, voice cracking is desperation.

“Stop it. You’re twisting my words. You’re making it wrong. You’re making it ugly.”

Dream finally takes a seat, pulling off his mask in the process. He sits with his back against the wall, facing Tubbo again. His head tilts back and he presses the palms of his hands against his eyes, then smooths his hair back.

“Why do you guys always have to make it all ugly? This is my land, you know? I can deal with you guys terraforming, I expected it. I can deal with you guys building whatever the fuck you wanted with my permission. I could have even let the whole drug thing slide! But then there was the thing with the discs.”

“Tommy’s discs.” Tubbo corrects,but he doesn’t acknowledge the teen’s input.

“It was such a simple thing to do. Hand me the discs. Maybe I would have given them back eventually. But you had to fight back. You had to separate yourselves, and start a war. You made it all ugly, and by making me the bad guy, you made me ugly too. I don’t understand. I just wanted you guys to listen to me.”

“You wanted to control us” Tubbo protested, “Like puppets on a string. You wanted us to bend at your will. We’re our own damn people, Dream. We’re not dolls for you to play ‘house’ with.”

“I know you’re too young to understand.” Dream sighs, giving him a small smile.

“It's okay . I forgive you. I forgive each and everyone of you.”

“What about George and Sapnap? Do you think this is what they want?” Tubbo switches tactics, desperate to make the man see reason. Tired of gripping the metal, he too sits on the cold netherite floor.

“George and Sapnap don’t know what they want.” Dream snaps irritatedly. Seemingly hitting the nail on its head, Tubbo plows on.

“Oh,really? Do you think Bad would let you do this? You think he’ll come in here willingly?”

“He goes wherever Skeppy goes.” He waves dismissively.

“Ah,yes, because Bad is so down with Skeppy being tossed into jail.”

“I’m not tossing Skeppy into the jail! Tub- Tubbo, you know this isn’t a jail, right?”

“Then what is it, Dream? What is this, with the iron bars and doors and obsidian? Sam himself built it, and he says it’s a prison. What is it?”

He doesn’t reply at first, fiddling with the cracked and damaged mask in his hands.

“I’m pretty fond of the moniker Pandora’s Vault.” He smiles softly at Tubbo, sending a chill up his spine.

“Vault?”

“Yeah. A vault is where people store valuables.”

“I- I do know what a vault is! That’s not my… did you just completely miss the part where I said we’re people? We’re not like those shiny things that you’d stuff into an enderchest.” He sputtered indignantly, at an almost loss for words. Dream wheezes and hauls himself up, dusting off his pants.

“Enderchest is actually kind of a cool name for it. I might just consider rebranding! I like to call it a vault, Tubbo, because a vault is where you store precious things. And to me, there’s nothing more precious than family.”

He walks back over to the crafting table, unaware of the other slowly losing his composure.

“You’re not my family.” He whispers.

Dream picks up on the dread and terror in Tubbos voice. He sets the planks back down gently.

“Remember when we were in the same team competing in MCC?” and how can Tubbo forget that? Standing side by side with your sworn enemy, wearing the same colours with undeniable pride.

“Remember how I helped you train? How we trained together, and I gave you advice and support? Didn’t you like that ? I was like a mentor to you, like an older brother! Don’t you want an older brother? You won’t have to be alone anymore.”

“I’m not alone! I have an actual family, Dream. I don’t need you. I’ve got my whole cabinet. Do I need to remind you that I’m the bloody president, not some weak baby you need to soothe? I’ve got Phil, and Wil-Ghostbur, and I’ve got Tech… I’ve got Ranboo and Niki, and Tommy. No, not…I don’t…” he protests.

“Tommy? Wilbur? Technoblade? You think Technoblade is better than me ? The people who destroyed your country ? Some fucking family you got there. You know what? Fine. Fine! They’re going to be in here with you anyway. I don’t fucking care. We’re going to be one big happy family whether you like it or not.”

“You’re not my fucking family!” Tubbo screams.

“And you are a child!” Dream roars.

“You’re a little boy playing dress up! Do you think you can fill Wilbur’s shoes? You can barely even measure up to Schlatt! At least Schlatt did something. What have you done with your presidency, Tubbo? What have you done ?”

Tubbo finds himself cowering on the floor as Dream's figure looms above him, face pressed against the bars, jeering.

“Answer me, Tubbo. What have you done ? What have you fucking done?!”

Tubbo sobs.

“I’ll tell you what you’ve done,” he continues.

“You’ve exiled your best friend. You’ve surrounded yourself with a so-called cabinet full of people more kniving and ambitious than you. They think you’re an idiot, no, they know you’re an idiot. You weren’t the first choice, you weren’t even the second.”

Silence reigns once again as Dream walks back to the crafting bench. Tubbo manages to haul himself into the bed, trembling the whole time. He only looks up when the iron door swings open and a shadow is cast over him.

“Hey.”

He’s calm again. He’s kind and gentle and nice again as he holds out a wooden box like it’s a peace offering.

It’s a bee hive.

“I know I broke your first one and killed all your bees but I really didn’t mean to.” he sounds apologetic, as close to a ‘sorry’ as Dream can get. When Tubbo doesn’t take the box, he sets it down on the beds edge and then clambers on as well, sitting next to him.

“I didn’t mean to raise my voice either. I was just,” he gestures vaguely “,frustrated.”

He smiles when Tubbo picks up the bee hive and fidgets with it, looking everywhere except for Dream's face.

“There we go! I hope you like it. I’ll pick up some bee’s for you later today or tomorrow, yeah ?”

“Yeah.”

Dream laughs, pulling the teen into a quick side hug.

“It’s gonna be okay.” He reassures.

“Everything’s gonna be okay.”

#mcyt #dreamsmp #dreamwastaken #tubbo #seth don’t look #wilbursoot #tommyinnit #georgenotfound #badboyhalo #jschaltt #technoblade

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inkribbon796 · 3 years

Text

What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 3: More TV Listings, Nothing to See Here

Summary: Friday TV Guide Listings:

6:00 (PST) Manhunter (CC)—Game

(2) (3) (12)

Contestants compete to hunt down Dream ( :) ) and try to win for various prizes.

Tour de Force (CC)—Drama

(6) (16) (24)

Singer-performer Nate (Nathan Sharp) and his band of supernatural investigators battle against various paranormal threats including the enigmatic Big Q (Quackity) and his casino mafia.

The Grand Convergence (CC)—Drama-Action

When a group of scientists give life to artificial intelligence, things begin to fly wildly out of control.

(2) (6) (18)

A/N: WARNING for android death, it is temporary but it is there.

And now he’s more TV Listings for your enjoyment. But ignore them, we’ll get to them later.

7:00 (PST) Movie (CC)—Sci-fi-Drama

“Space with Markiplier.” Marc Iplier.

(2)

Movie (CC)—Fantasy

“The Antarctic Empire.” Technoblade, Philza.

(6)

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 6

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

[Camera cuts to Badboy Halo who is sitting for an interview]

“Well,” Bad smiled. “Everyone knows that Dream the only thing Dream cares about more than himself is George.”

[CUT to Bad setting up a box and rope trap with a headshot of George inside]

“Yeah,” Bad smile grew even bigger as he surveyed his world. “I think I got this.”

As if Dream had been watching and listening in, and he was, he tagged Bad in the back with a foam rock and knocked him to the side as he ran past.

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 24

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

“Boys, boys,” Big Q smiled as Nate and Phantom were dragged in front of the mob boss by Sam and Purpled. “I thought we were done with all this.”

“Maybe if you weren’t causing trouble we would be,” Nate spat as he and Phantom shrugged off the people dragging him in. “Where’s Mad and Mare, you sick sadist.”

“Oh gentlemen,” Big Q grinned. “I haven’t done anything to them. Haven’t even touched a hair on their heads.”

“Bull,” Phantom told him, the vampire’s eyes turning red in anger. “You’ve got five seconds—”

“Easy now, big guy,” Big Q pulled out a thin stake of wood twisted from long wild rose stalks. “Let’s not get too hasty. I’ve got a job for you boys.”

“What is it?” Nate asked hesitantly. Even thinking about taking a job from Big Q made his skin crawl.

“Well, you see,” Big Q smiled as one of his associates, Fundy, raced in with a white fox right behind him to hand the individual some papers. “Oh thanks, kid.”

Fundy smiled brightly as Big Q looked back at them. “There’s this little group that’s been causing trouble for me for a while now and—”

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 2

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

“Well I didn’t suspect this would happen!” The Director spat at Google.

“Well maybe you should have stopped at making the first one!” Google spat in return.

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

Outside the bubbles, as the light and rubble cleared enough for the heroes that hadn’t been snatched up by the bubbles, were standing in the ruins of the gazebo. Each of the bubbles was at least the size of a house, the biggest were the size of a five-story building.

“The fuck was that?” Silver shouted. He was standing with J.J and Jackie.

“Silver!” Oliver was running over to them with Mini’s drive. “I can’t contact Bing!”

“You okay?” Silver asked, flying over. Mini came out of his drive and looked around frantically.

“Yes but Bing is off our network, along with the other Googles,” Oliver told them.

“That’s probably because none of ‘em[1] have any type of service or connection.” Someone was calling down to them from the top of the ruins of the gazebo. He was in a white hoodie and was looking down at them.

“Great,” Jackie spat as he braced for a fight. Two other people emerged from seemingly nowhere, someone with a red and white cameo mask, and a woman who had roses physically growing out of her hair. “We’re busy.”

“Name’s Punz,” the man in a white hoodie gestured to himself. “These are Ponk and Hannah.”

“We’re fookin’[2] busy,” Jackie spat. “What part ‘a that didn’t yeh Servers fooks get?”[3]

Punz sighed and rolled his eyes, “Well normally I don’t care what you chumps do, unless I’m paid to care. But my paycheck just got sucked into one of those bubbles and I want to get him back out.”

“Who, Dream?” Silver asked. “How long has he been here?”

Punz sighed. “Some of us happened to be in the area. Most of us are still in the Serve though. But Dream and the others who were nearby during the ceremony got grabbed.”

“How many?” Silver asked, looking at the bubbles.

“About half of us, if you include Techno and Phil, and Dream does,” Punz told him. “Okay, look, I don’t care about your team, the issue is that Dream pays me, and I like having a job so I’m going to drag him back out so he can keep wiring me money. Besides, my brother’s in there.”

“Okay so we’ll start tryin’ ta pop those fookers,”[4] Jackie decided, Silver flew up to try and get inside the closest bubble but it just bounced him back.

“Ponk,” Punz called out.

“I’m no Skeppy,” Ponk said, a book appearing in hand, “but I can make do. ‘Sides[5], Foolish is in there somewhere.”

J.J walked over to Ponk to look at the book, his pocket watch in hand as he anchored himself in a spot to start turning back time if he needed it.

The mute hero was signing to Ponk as the mage was starting to cast spells. “Hmmmm~ That one?” Ponk asked and J.J nodded.

“Who’d you find?” Punz asked, looking at the bubble.

“Don’t know, but there are four people in there,” Ponk said. “It’s not the smallest but it’s already weakening.”

Oliver seemed to realize something. “Wait, Host gave me something right before the wedding.”

“So he did think somethin’[6] was happenin’[7],” Jackie frowned.

The yellow android pulled out a box and opened it to see a note and the blue solid state drive that they had seen a couple months ago helping to power a generator with Logan’s soul inside.

On the note read:

Replace Bing’s drive with this. The bubbles are little small realities. Target weaker ones to make the stronger bubbles pop.

“That’s not good,” Oliver told them, his voice sounding rattled. “Why would Bing need his drive replaced?”

“What does his drive do?” Silver asked.

“Bing’s central drive is like a human brain, it can’t just be switched out and I don’t know what’s in this thing.”

“So let’s find Bing and figure out what’s wrong,” Silver told him.

“Okay,” Ponk spoke up. “I think I can get it open but I don’t know what’s going to happen when we get in there.

Hannah circles her hand and the ground turned into a massive rose as Ponk and J.J opened up the bubble. It didn’t pop, but it was open just long enough for them to jump in.

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

CHANNEL 2

//////~~~~//////~~~~//////~~~~//////

It was a dark, neon-lit city that looked like Egoton. But the group appeared in some official-looking military room.

Google was arguing with the Director with Red and Green right behind him.

“Oliver?” Green gasped in surprise. “You’re alive?”

Google rushed over to Mini and forced a power down and stowed his drive away.

“Where’s Bing?” Oliver asked.

“This cretin factory reset Bing!” Google glared at the Director.

Oliver looked at them in horror.

“What?” Oliver took a step back.

“Yeh[8] what?!” Jackie spat in an absolute fury. “He was a person! Yeh[8] killed him.”

“He was a faulty computer program who wasn’t even doing his job,” the General snapped.

Google hit his limit and shot the Director right between the eyes. All the organic beings in the room startled and yelled in surprise.

“What did you do?” Silver stared at him in horror.

“That was for what he did to Bing!” Google snarled.

Oliver pulled out the drive he’d been given from the Host, “The Host gave me this, he told me to replace Bing’s drive with it.”

“Why? What’s on it?” Google demanded.

“I don’t know, but if Bing’s already been reset then it couldn’t harm him anymore than the humans already have.” Oliver was desperate, frantic.

“Let’s just find him,” Silver said, glancing down at the Director and he realized he wasn’t sure if the man was real or not.

Fortunately, the group didn’t have to go far because Bing came to them. Or at least what was left of him. It was Bing as he normally looked, minus the dark sunglasses, his eyes a glowing, angry orange. His usual stance was far more upright and tense, and any humor was gone.

“Bing?” Oliver whispered fearfully.

“Memesis Alpha, Beta, Gamma, and Delta,” Bing said in a fully robotic tone, his usual way of speaking was also gone, “you will submit yourself for a factory reset or be terminated.”

Silver looked around the room, it was too enclosed, there were too many people. When the Google androids didn’t do what Bing wanted he moved to attack them, Google moving in front of Oliver to protect him.

Jackie tried to race in to help and was barely fast enough to avoid getting his leg crushed by the malevolent android.

Silver was trying to keep Bing off of Jackie or anyone else more breakable but he realized something with grim certainty: Bing was going to start killing people.

Silver flew back to get some distance and speed and then snapped forward in an instant the bubble popped and they were back on the ground where they had all started. Bing’s mechanical body arced and jolted as Silver held the mangled and destroyed remains of Bing’s central drive in his hand.

“No!” Google shouted in horror, everyone just staring at Silver in horror. The android raced forward, aiming to crush Silver’s neck in his hands but Silver flew out of the way.

“We have a replacement drive,” Silver reminded him. “I wouldn’t have done that if we didn’t have that drive.”

“I don’t know what’s on that!” Google roared, pulling out lazers and trying to murder Silver.

Oliver came behind Google and began looking Bing over, a look of panic and fear on his face.

“He was still physically there, if that drive doesn’t contain his personality there’s no way to rebuild him,” Google snarled.

“The rest of his core is intact,” Oliver announced, “we just need to fix some wires.”

Google stopped and looked back at Oliver, trying to not look at Bing’s remains. “Fine, try it.”

Then the android glared at Silver, “If this doesn’t work, Silver, I will destroy every atom of your body.”

“Right,” Silver told him but still kept his distance.

“The only thing this world had going for it was that Bing loved it,” Google told him as he knelt down next to Oliver who was frantically trying to repair the frayed wires and crushed metal.

Google pulled out the drive and just stared at it. His nanites helped to print and construct materials.

Jackie raced over to Silver, keeping an eye on Google. “We need ta[9] find Logic,” Jackie told Silver, “maybe if we do he can help—”

At that moment, there was a little sound and Bing’s little orange accent lights came online and everyone braced for another attack but after a couple more minutes, Bing got up and looked around.

“Googs? What are— Where am I?” Bing looked confused, his voice back to normal, before he looked alarmed as he checked the day’s date. “The drive?”

Google began to fret over Oliver, “Do you have any faulty programs? Glitches? Did that drive have any malware attached to it?”

“I’m running a diagnostic right now, dude,” Bing told him. “Give me a minute.”

“So what was the deal with that drive, thought Logic would have broken that thing?” Silver asked.

“Dunno,”[10] Bing shrugged. “Host had me use that drive that Spade trapped Lo in, said I would need ta[9] make a backup of myself an’[11] that it had enough room. Guess he was right. Might need ta[9] be filled on everything that happened for the past couple ‘a[12] months.”

Ponk and J.J tore open another bubble, a rumbling shock rippled out towards the other bubbles.

“Show time!” Punz called out.

“Bing is staying with me,” Google ordered. “And if you can find Logic I want him here too.”

“Yeah, havin’[13] all the brainiacs together is prolly[14] fer[15] the best,” Jackie agreed.

“Let’s go!” Punz said and Hannah began to construct another rose to jettison them up, making Silver and Jackie race after them as they jumped into another bubble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. them

2. fucking

3. What part of that didn’t you Servers fucks get?

4. Okay so we’ll start trying to pop those fuckers

5. Besides

6. something

7. happening

8. You

9. to

10. I don’t know

11. and

12. of

13. having

14. probably

15. for

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deadcactuswalking · 5 years

Text

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 9th June 2019

Okay so full disclosure; I haven’t been enjoying writing this show for a while, mostly because of how I’ve been barely been able to keep up with life yet alone new music as it comes out each week... but let’s not get into detail. This isn’t what I’m here for, I’m here to ramble about pop music that probably isn’t all that interesting anyway, in this case a lot of British hip hop.

Top 10

“I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber is unsurprisingly still at the top after being at first place running on the chart ever since its debut four weeks ago.

Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus hasn’t moved since last week either, still at number-two.

In fact, the whole top 10 is stable and kind of stale. To exemplify that, only number-five has moved from last week. Hence, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is at number-three.

“Vossi Bop” by Stormzy holds on at number-four.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” actually moves a singular space up to number-five.

“Piece of Your Heart” by MEDUZA and Goodboys, however, has not at number-six.

“Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi is at number-seven.

The late Avicii’s “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc is at number-eight. I’ll be up next week thanks to the album’s release.

To my surprise, Ed Sheeran’s “Cross Me” featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock is still at number-nine off of the debut last week. I’d like to add that this is an Ed Sheeran song with a producer tag. Huh.

Shawn Mendes’ “If I Can’t Have You” rounds off the top 10 by not moving at #10.

Climbers

Well, there aren’t many climbers this week, especially since it’s busy in terms of new arrivals, but there are some increases here. “Wish You Well” by Sigala and Becky Hill zooms up 15 spaces to #24 (Methinks it didn’t have a full tracking week last week as this sudden increase seems odd), whilst “Falling Like the Stars” by James Arthur continues an unfortunate gain up the charts as it’s moving up 10 spaces to #25. Other than that, we have nothing. However, it’s a different story with our Fallers.

Fallers

We’ll have to do what we usually don’t have enough fallers to do anymore and split it into genre categories, especially as pretty much everything in the second half of the Top 40 is in freefall.

In terms of pop, rock and EDM, “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy and Macklemore is down six spaces to #40 off of the debut, “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man continues its fall down six to #39, “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike is sadly down five to #38, “Late Night Feelings” by Mark Ronson featuring Lykke Li is down six to #36, “So Am I” by Ava Max collapses down 10 spaces to #35, “Easier” by 5 Seconds of Summer (Featuring Nine Inch Nails, simply because it’s funnier this way) is down five off of the debut to #34, “Talk” by Khalid is down six to #28, “Here with Me” by Marshmello and CHRVCHES is down four to #20, and that’s about it.

For hip-hop and R&B, we have slightly less notable hits, with “EARFQUAKE” by Tyler, the Creator featuring Playboi Carti and Charlie Wilson continuing its unfortunate fall down 13 spaces to #37, “Fashion Week” by Steel Banglez, AJ Tracey and MoStack falling down five spaces to #33, “Guten Tag” by Hardy Caprio and Digdat dropping down four to #27, right next to “OT Bop” by NSG collapsing down nine spaces to #26 off of the debut. We also have “The London” by Young Thug, J. Cole and Travis Scott down four to #22, “Keisha & Becky” by Russ and Tion Wayne down four to #19, and that’s all.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Well, streaming cuts have snabbed “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi of its longevity as it drops out from #14 – no, I’m not complaining – and the same could be said for “Your Mrs” but JAY1 out from #37 but I’d argue that’s just because people are starting to realise the song is awful. Otherwise, well, streaming cuts have hurt “Sucker” by Jonas Brothers as well out from #20 and “Just You and I” by Tom Walker is out from #36 (There will be a rebound), but it’s not like I didn’t expect the Skepta album bomb of sorts to get rid of competition, as “Motorola” by DaBeatfreakz featuring Swarmz, Deno and Dappy is out from #38, “No Diet” by Digga D is out from #32 and... “Earth” by Lil Dicky and Friends, which isn’t competition for Skepta but would have been out from #40 anyway. There is one returning entry but we won’t be covering it in this section, because it’s time for the new arr—

ALBUM BOMB

Skepta – Ignorance is Bliss

New section time, I suppose, even though there won’t be any new content for the most part. This is just a separated space for me to talk about mini-album bombs as they don’t really exist in the UK, but they allow three songs from an artist at once. Hence, Skepta is currently charting three songs from his highly-anticipated album Ignorance is Bliss (Which I haven’t had the time or motivation to listen to, as with most recently-released albums), two of which are completely new and will be at both ends of the chart. There is one returning entry however, as “Greaze Mode” featuring Nafe Smallz, despite being pretty awful, reaches a new peak at #18 after dropping off last week.

#32 – “Bullet from a Gun” – Skepta

Produced by Skepta and Ragz Originale

Now, the BBC usually censors any objectionable material on the album covers and replaces them with a picture of the artist, but Skepta flipping the bird and holding a gun was fine here, I suppose. This song was actually part of the double A-side single Skepta released to promote the album before its release, but it never charted in the top 40 until it ended up as the opening song on the tracklist, as well as having a video pushed. Now, I hated “Greaze Mode” so hopefully its less accessible counterpart will be better, and, well, it is, but not because this is of insane levels of quality. The instrumental’s eerie synths here are hypnotic like most of Skepta’s self-produced synth loops but the infectiousness of the beat doesn’t translate to the vocals and content here, as his oddly low-mixed vocals under the trap percussion don’t go into any detail until the verse where he talks about how he can’t make any sorrowful songs mourning his father because he’s only thankful for him and how he has rubbed off on Skeppy himself, and then he actually goes into a pretty emotional verse about facing demons and considering seeing his daughter’s face every day as a blessing, with a rapid and blunt flow, because he can’t be sure every day that he’ll be alive to see the next morning, not because he’s still involved in gang violence as he’s matured from that experience but because he’s paranoid of those we are supposed to place our trust in most, the police. That’s only a few bars though, and while they connect and they are pretty powerful lines, it has to be book-ended with Skepta taking your girl because it was just your turn and not learning his lesson by shooting you as that’s just how the world works. I mean, this isn’t bad by any means, but staying on topic would be appreciated when you emphasise such heavy subject matter for as many bars as you do but completely abandon it by the end of that one extended verse. The beat’s great, though, and Skepta’s delivery has always been pretty aggressive on these types of beats, so for what it is, it’s decent and it works fine for Skepta’s 13th Top 40 hit. Next.

#14 – “What Do You Mean?” – Skepta featuring J Hus

Produced by Skepta and iO

Now this is Skepta’s 14th Top 40 hit over here in the UK and J Hus’ sixth (In terms of top 20 hits, it’s Hus’ third and Skepta’s fourth). J Hus, recently released out of prison, delivered a consistently fire and really impressive feature verse on Dave’s “Disaster” last time we had a British hip-hop album bomb onto the charts, and has performed with Drake hours after he was released, but honestly a lot of the time I find J Hus to be uninteresting in his solo work, and his last album was droning and honestly pretty dull. This, on the other hand, is a complete banger. Skepta’s self-produced beat is equally as menacing and eerie as “Bullet with a Gun” but I see it takes some steps from ‘90s G-funk with that synth line, backed up by strings and plunging 808s. J Hus’ Auto-Tuned chorus is really slick, and he shows a lot of swagger in his funky yet relatively mellow hook, before Skepta comes in bouncing with a pretty intense verse. Is the content anything interesting? No, but it’s not trying to, and when the beat is this interesting of an amalgamation of trap, G-funk and freaking banjos in the second chorus, as well as smooth as hell flows delivered by Skepta, you don’t need insane lyricism. I love how the multi-tracked vocals from J Hus transition perfectly into Skeppy’s verses as well, and both ride the beat fantastically. Not much to say about this one but I’m glad to see some trap with an actual groove to it that doesn’t overstay its welcome, as well as performers who know what they’re doing spitting on it. Oh, and the vocals are actually mixed decently this time. Seems like Skeppy’s mixing may be a bit inconsistent especially on the vocal side, as the bass and kick here are much louder than they need to be. I love this, though, so check it out.

Oh, yeah and J Hus crooning “North Korea” is hilarious to me.

NEW ARRIVALS

#31 – “Mother’s Daughter” – Miley Cyrus

Produced by Andrew Wyatt – Peaked at #10 in Hungary and Slovakia, #54 in the US

Miley Cyrus has released another absolute trainwreck of an album a la Dead Petz, but this time it’s harder to swallow as it’s just an EP and all tracks take on a different style of music, despite being primarily trap-influenced. That sounds like it’d be an interesting venture into the Cyrus psyche but nope, SHE IS COMING is just as awful as I and many others expected, but the breakout single, her 16th UK Top 40 hit, doesn’t exactly make that evident, because instead it’s just mediocre, almost painfully so. This starts with a scratchy guitar mumble before exploding into a synth-lead trap beat, complete with high-pitched vocal samples, but it seems really lightweight, mostly because all these pop princesses that try their hand on trap beats can’t pick a beat with any bass or intensity, especially when this song is about playing up a archetypal villain role for the media, I assume, and despite the distortion on her vocals she still has the country twang, can’t flow for the like of her and belts a post-chorus that is pitchy and hard to listen to. Really, the whole song is just one big mess, not even mixing wise as it’s completely fine on a technical level (Although the lack of much noticeable sub-bass to speak of concerns me), but the messiness of the songwriting really shows in the bridge, which essentially takes away the gliding synths and places the scratchy guitar groaning in its place, whilst Miley rapid-fire spits an incredibly janky flow. The final chorus also has these “Oh, my God” lines as filler to replace the lines in the chorus, which doesn’t break up the monotony of this song at all. The cringeworthy outro aside, this is just boring – and it looks like I won’t get a break from dullness anytime soon.

#16 – “Bruises” – Lewis Capaldi

Produced by Lewis Capaldi and James Earp – Peaked at #19 in Scotland

When I said that Capaldi had streaming cuts, that may not have been entirely accurate as Capaldi has debuted his fourth UK hit in the top 20 to replace “Grace”, so seemingly the three song per artist rule has kicked out the lowest performing song. Now Capaldi’s success doesn’t surprise me, because there’s no one making breathy, low-key ballads that Sheeran specialised in – well, there are, they’re just not gaining real traction – so we need to fill a hole while Sheeran’s off partying at a party he doesn’t want to be at with Justin Bieber and PNB Rock. I am, however, incredibly disappointed by his success, because he and James Arthur make me want to throw bricks at squirrels. Now this is actually his first official single as it was released independently (And on his label) back in early 2017, but thanks to inclusion on his newest album, has had a boost two and a half years late, and we weren’t really missing anything. I’ve heard this before reviewing the charts this week, I feel it was an advert, and it really does seem like a song for melodramatic commercials. I’ll give it to him, Capaldi has strength and he has a lot of power in his young voice, with a rock edge I appreciate that Arthur doesn’t have, but this instrumental is painfully simple, to the point where it’s so minimal that it can’t work, especially with Capaldi’s multi-tracked falsetto nonsense crooning, as that would make much more sense with an actual drum beat instead of just soul-less piano notes being looped under Capaldi essentially vocally riffing. By the final chorus and bridge, you’d expect some strings or something, surely, but, no, it stays as it was until the last second, where a secondary piano line plays... and it just plays the vocal melody from the chorus, once. It’s not worth it at that point, and there’s not even a stylish finish to the whole thing. To be fair, it’s the only Capaldi song I’ve heard that isn’t excruciating. Doesn’t mean it’s any good though.

#15 – “Shine Girl” – MoStack featuring Stormzy

Produced by Ill Blu, TSB and Levi Lennox

God, I really don’t like MoStack. I’ve never heard a chorus or verse from him that’s compelling in his five Top 40 hits (and three Top 20 hits) since “No Words”, and most of his singles are Auto-Tuned faux-dancehall faux-grime nonsense, but he’s just released a 40-minute album (Delightful) with features from J Hus, Dave, Fredo and of course Stormzy, who has propelled one of the STACKO tracks to the top 20, becoming his 14th Top 40 hit and his seventh Top 20. Is it any good? Well, actually, it’s much better than most of MoStack’s stuff, mostly because the twinkling synths in this Afrobeats track are actually fitting as instead of attempting to be threatening, menacing or intimidating, it’s a love song. Stormzy’s hook, despite being somewhat overly possessive, is somewhat cute and the multi-tracked harmony backing vocals are really nice... MoStack exists though, and the content here pretty much chalks up to having sex with other girls despite the fact that both Stormzy and MoStack are always talking about how they love the sex from this girl in particular. MoStack is nasal and irritating as usual, although I do like the completely irrelevant line where he asks why Stormzy’s high

Wait, Stormzy, why you look so damn high?

It’s offbeat, drenched in Auto-Tune and reverb, and mixed below both the instrumental and Stormzy, but overall, MoStack is mostly a non-presence, so that’s cool. I like Stormzy’s hook well enough, and the piano dwindling at the tail-end is pretty excellent, so, you know what, Stacko, you get a pass for now.

#13 – “Never Really Over” – Katy Perry

Produced by Zedd and Dreamlab – Peaked at #4 in Scotland and #15 in the US

So, she’s back. Katy Perry has been existent for a while now but she hasn’t released that big comeback single since her waning success with the Witness era, so she’s come back with a bang... except it’s a Zedd production and it’s only in the top 20. To be fair, I’d accept anything if I had just experienced that trainwreck of an album cycle. Did you guys hear about how Zedd doesn’t actually produce or compose his own beats, though? Yeah, that’s pretty dreadful, apparently he can’t play piano in a note other than C. I don’t believe that for a second personally, but the dude absolutely tears into Zedd, it’s hilarious. Anyway, is this Katy Perry song any good? Well, it does take me back to the days where Katy Perry was massive, with the cute yet simplistic synth line and finger-snaps making up a vibe similar to the introductions to a lot of her earlier hits. It is familiar overall actually, I swear I’ve heard that vocal melody in the pre-chorus before. The rattling percussion adds some bounce but may be a bit too stiff and unnatural, as a lot of Zedd’s production is. The snares and even Perry’s vocals are clipping over the cloudy synth mix in the chorus, however, and the lyrics are repetitious and somewhat meaningless... but who cares? That drop is incredible. The song could be a Chris Brown song featuring posthumous vocals from XXXTENTACION produced by Tay Keith if it had that fun, 80s-reminiscent drop which Katy Perry essentially triplet-flows over. The way it carries into the bridge as well makes it very manic and it works as a damn good post-chorus. Oh, yeah, and that ticking clock is annoying, and only made sense in “Stay” and “The Middle”. I’d say stop using it, but Zedd doesn’t exactly have much control over his compositions so I’m gonna say it’s Dreamlab’s fault for implementing it if anyone. It’s really jankily pushed into this song and doesn’t make for a good outro at all, there’s literally a clock solo. Oh, yeah, and this is Katy Perry’s 28th UK Top 40 hit. That’s insane.

Conclusion

There’s not much really to go home about here, although Best of the Week is probably going to Skepta and J Hus for “What Do You Mean?”, with the Honourable Mention going to both Skepta and Katy Perry – yep, it’s a tie – for “Bullet with a Gun” and “Never Really Over”, while Worst of the Week is easily going to Miley Cyrus for “Mother’s Daughter”. In fact, I’d be hesitant to give ANYONE, even Reviewing the Charts nemesis Lewis Capaldi (and MoStack for that matter), a Dishonourable Mention of any sort. Hence, follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings, sarcastically quote-tweeting Piers Morgan and I’ll see you next week.

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