#i would like to state two things one is that i am gay dont come for me the next is that i do not think agent stone is a normal human being

[jamesbranwen]

#dr. robotnik #agent stone #stobotnik #thank you for coming to my ted talk #i would like to state two things one is that i am gay dont come for me the next is that i do not think agent stone is a normal human being #but he has the act down #king of masking

[gutsfics]

can you give specific examples of what happened to help people understand what happened

this is non-extensive, just the ones i think are the most egregious of what shes done and said

i'm not sure how much of this is stuff she's deleted, as these are all from screenshots i already had on hand, but i would like to say that deleting a post doesn't necessarily mean you no longer agree with what was said in it, especially if you double down on what was said when you're called out for it. which she has done Plenty of times

and for the record, this is not something i enjoy doing. part of the reason this took me a few days to post is because this is stressing me the fuck out and ive been trying to spend as little brainpower on this as possible

First point: queerphobia in the form of homophobic jokes, sharing panphobic rhetoric, and talking for transgender people on a topic she (as far as i am aware) has no

the pelicansexual "joke" was told at the expense of Ethan and Tobias during the "Ethan Bisexuality Canonity" argument she & i got into in June (which btw i would like to apologize for starting that up, i was frustrated w pb's coddling of the cishet part of the fandom & i was having difficulty phrasing it bc of how upset i was w it. i did not mean to attack the fandom specifically but intent doesn't cover for outcome)

the pelicansexual joke was a since-deleted tag on one of her posts which went something along the lines of "my Ethan and Tobias are now pelicansexuals, which means they have to break up with [her characters] as they are not pelicans". i dont have a screenshot of this unfortunately, but i do have a screenshot of her response to an anon calling her out on it.

in case you don't understand why her "joke" was homophobic, before gay marriage was legalized in the US in 2015, a common anti-homosexuality talking point was "homosexuality being legalized is a slippery slope to bestiality being legalized". while it is good she deleted her "joke", its frankly worrying to me that when called out on it she doubled down on how she was joking when she said it, instead of listening and learning. her bisexuality and queer activism do not mean that she is incapable of saying and doing homophobic things.

the panphobic rhetoric & her talking for transgender people are, if i remember correctly, both part of the same incident wherein she reblogged something panphobic and then, when called out for it, said something that something that most trans people consider transphobic isn't actually transphobic at all

screenshot 1: bisexuality and pansexuality are two very similar sexualities, with the main difference between the two coming down to personal preference for what term you feel like best. while bisexuality does mean "sexual attraction to two or more genders", some people prefer a term that focuses on the "or more" part. neither sexuality excludes transgender people. pitting queer people against each other because theyre not the "right" kind of queer does nothing but damage the queer community as a whole

screenshot 2: agreeing to delete the post, but doubling down on what she said and refusing to listen to anon simply because they're anonymous

screenshot 3: the highlighted part is what we're focusing on here. "We don't consider cis gay men who only date the same to be anti-trans". hi, I'm a trans gay man. Yes We Fucking Do. i don't understand why she thinks she has the authority to speak on this. what "we" is she referring to here?

Second point: lack of respect or understanding of boundaries in fandom spaces, including both blocks and simply not wanting to interact with someone

i'll be honest, i'm a bit unsure if the above paragraph is the right way of describing what i mean, but she has a bit of a history of being.... openly weird about people who have blocked her for "no reason", and not only that has stated she thinks that not wanting to take place in an event run by someone you are uncomfortable with is childish

i believe the first one is about my friend Jay, who has her blocked for similar reasons that i do. while it is perfectly fine for her to assume whatever she wants about the reasoning for a block, her phrasing of "all i ever did was be supportive" in a public post about it allows her to victimize herself over a boundary being placed. speaking of Jay, Elsa has, knowing full well that she's been blocked by xim on the "peonyblossom" blog- which, again, is a boundary that has been placed- decided to message xim on the choicespride blog xe runs

the second one is specifically about a tumblr user who i do not know personally and do not wish to drag them into this as they have left the open heart fandom. she was sent an anon about this user blocking her which, yeah, is really weird and suspicious. but this isn't about that, this is about her response to learning she's been blocked. she refers to herself as this users "biggest fan" and says that it "isn't normal" to block your biggest fan. once again she is victimizing herself over a boundary someone else has placed, only this time she has done it in a post talking about a person with their username in it. when you have a blog as big as hers, people are bound to go after someone in the name of defending the person they feel was slighted

& here's her essentially calling people childish bc they might not want to interact with someone who causes them harm. iirc this was either about certain event blogs in the fandom not disclosing who's running them bc they know full well that some people might not be comfortable interacting with them (hiding ur identity will not help with that) or about people choosing not to participate because they know that the person running the event is someone they don't want to interact with. this ones just bizarre to me. no one has to interact with anyone ever, and calling them childish for it is, frankly, childish

Third point: her callout post for Jeremy and her non-apology

to get it out of the way: i'm friends with Jeremy. i'll try to keep this as unbiased as possible, but i am deeply deeply upset and frustrated with everything thats happened to rain. also, just so yall know, Jeremy gave me permission to talk about this. i'm not just dredging up old drama for drama's sake here.

first- the callout post

the thing that started this was a post to the playchoicesconfessions blog where an anonymous user said- and i'm copy/pasting it here- "Ethan said he and Tobias were like brothers. Weird how many people in the fandom want to get with their brothers.’" essentially, this anonymous user accused people who ship Ethias as being into irl incest which..... we will not be getting into all the ways thats problematic here.

(as an aside, Elsa did at some point reblog and then delete this post, but her commentary was focused squarely on "ship and let ship" which is a sentiment i agree with but she completely ignored the blatant homophobia in this post. here's a version someone reblogged from her in case you're curious as to what she said)

Jeremy reblogged this confession post and added "i genuinely hope this person and others who think like this eat a fucking bullet holy shit" specifically in reference to the anon insinuating incest. in turn, anons on rain's blog assumed rai was referring to people who don't ship Ethais and sent rain nasty messages, which rai would respond to and get more anons who saw the latest response and again assume rai was talking about not shipping a ship they ship and not the actual genuine fucking homophobia from the original confession post.

one of these anons sent screenshots of rain's posts to Elsa, without the context, and told her rai was talking about her. rai was not. not until the post where rai (rightfully, ihmo) called both Elsa and another blogger (this one who also got a similar ask about being blocked by the user i mentioned earlier but who decided to put it in the open heart tags instead of keep it on their blog the way Elsa did. that's the only props i'll give to her in regards of that- yes it was shitty she posted it in the first place but at least she didn't tag it) for complaining about and villainizing someone who blocked them.

tldr version is- Jeremy was venting about anons that were being homophobic to rain, another anon sent screenshots of those posts to Elsa without the context who who rai was talking about and said they were about her, and Elsa, without bothering to verify in any way, decided the best course of action would be to publicly call rai out, painting rain as a bully who has been targeting her specifically and once again victimizing herself. on her blog with a bunch of followers. many of whom also chose not to verify, and instead just heaped more hatred onto Jeremy's blog.

this went on until September, when they talked to each other at first with a third party go-between, and eventually person-to-person. Jeremy explained the context of the vent posts, Elsa explained that she was getting the screenshots with no context from an anon and admitted she should have verified them herself instead of going full nuclear, and they both agreed to apologize publicly

all good, end of story, right?

no.

while in Jeremy's post, rai took accountability for their side of what happened in this awful game of telephone and apologized for rains part in the whole thing. if you want to read it, here is a version of it.

Elsa, on the other hand.... well she apologized, but to be honest I'm not quite sure what for.

she says there's been misunderstandings on both parts led on by one or more anonymous sources (no arguments here), says she understands that the posts that were sent to her were not actually about her (okay good) and says that its a tough world and that she's deleted her posts.

okay.... but that doesn't specify what she did at all to need the apology. which was publicly call out Jeremy on her blog with.... well, i'm not sure how many followers she has, but i do know that she's got the most well known blog in the choices fandom. by publicly calling out Jeremy in the way that she did, she (whether intentional or not) set her followers out to attack rains blog. she did not apologize for this. asking people to stop sending hate to rains blog is not the same as taking accountability for sending those people to rains blog in the first place

so. yeah.

again, non-extensive list, but i dont wanna mention things she's done without having screenshots or links to show proof that she did it, and i dont feel like finding more of her bullshit bc this just. really fucking stressed me out.

also this isn't me saying "shes a terrible person forever and i hate her and nobody should like her ever" this is me saying "hey, shes done/said some hurtful things in the past and it sure would be cool if she acknowledged any of it" but i think coolsville sucks or whatever.

also also most importantly: its possible for queer people to say and do things that are queerphobic. being queer yourself does not give you a shield from people calling you out for that. neither does real life activism. its great that she's done real life activism! but pointing back to things you've done in the past, or for a different group of people than the one youre in does not exempt you from the harm youre causing today, to the people you're interacting with.

i dont have a proper ending to this

thanks for reading i guess

#once again i am apologizing to my mutuals from my main blog who are following me here & not apart of this fandom #sorry yall have to witness me slowly tearing off my own face and eating it every few months

[toomanyfandomsorkinafs]

This is for you Bunny(I KNOW YOU SEE THIS, DONT LIE)

I have been collecting incorrect quotes from IRL, things online or my own self. Have at it. I have to many and I really want to share :D

“You know, I used to think that ** was a bad influence on you.”

*arm stuck in somewhere it shouldn’t be*“Oh?”

“Now I realize that you both influence each other to do equally stupid things.”

“What has the world come to?!”

“Depression.”

“You can't make everyone like you; you're not **.”

“What? Not everyone likes **.”

“Who doesn't like **?!”

“Uh”

***, gripping *'s shoulders with the intensity of a thousand burning suns “Names, *, now. GIVE ME THEIR NAMES”

**(female) struggling to to open something so asks ****(male) to help but **** can’t open it so they ask ***(female) to help and they open it

“See ****, you have to become more feminine”

“What-“

“Cause even with barely any nails or with long nails the girls can open it better then you!”

“What do we say to the universe when we’re having a bad day?”

“How dare you seek to inconvenience me. I have been through things that you can’t fathom.”

“Why does it feel like the world fights me in every turn!?”

“Eat good food, happy thoughts come soon”

“Where is **?!”

“At very time and moment that is illegal to share-“

Honestly doesn’t take much to confuse me. I’m just a simple lad.

“YOU'RE A MONSTER! I'm so proud.”

“WHAT is wrong with you. It is so attractive”

"We're not dating, but we're devoted toeach other, and get jealous if someone hits on the other, but we are just friends"

“i'll cut your throat open, that'll shut you up!"

"you're beautiful...”

“Seems like I touch a nerve”*touches their own broken nerve* “AAAAH-“

"** brought emotional trauma to a knife fight”

“How much longer are we going to wait?”

“Just... give it a few more minutes.”

*  ** continues to forcefully push at a door that says pull on it*

“I just drove thru a rainbow” -*

“am I gay now?” -*

“a gay drive-thru?”-**

“Cheers!”

“To what?”

“To my most beautiful and amazing boyfriend/girlfriend!”

“Huh? What? Do you have another one?”

“By the power invested in me.. gay”

“This is the best financial decision I’ve ever made”

“What colour you want? Red or white?”

“Thats blue and gold.”

“OH- thats a mistake!”

“What colour are the balloons?”

“Red(white), green(gold), purple(blue)”

“I thought you were blind but turns out your blind and colourblind”

(Extra)

“What?”

“I literally just ask what was next.”

“Huh?!”

“Oh so you’re deaf, blind, stupid and colourblind!” 

“Oh i forgot your deaf, blind, stupid and colourblind! What don’t you have?!”

“Colours.”

“**, what don’t you have?”

“Brains?”

“What is this?! Vomit green!?”

“It’s olive..”

“It a mistake, that’s what it is.”

“Are you excited for (school name)?”

“Why would I ever be excited about school?”

“In my defence, I was left unsupervised!”

“I think I’ll die actually. Let’s try it!”

“You have to upgrade from a bystander and become-“

“A bully!”

“What you got there?”

*Very dangerous person behind them* “A smoothie?”

“Ah, yeah, I’ve heard about that! Rates are crazy in the States, right?”

“I’m from Canada.”

“Oh.”

“** you don’t have to talk. I have to talk.”

“If you push me, I can push you back.”

“No. You can’t.”

*in the other room*“Can I come out?”

“You’re gay?!”

“No! I can out like that last year!”

“I am a mosaic of every person I have ever loved”

“You Know other men/woman/gays and didn’t tell me?!”

“So, how did you two meet?"

“...You know, we actually legally can't answer that."

“As a members of the high gay council, he is gay.”

“Shout out to (person), gotta be one of my favourite genders”

“We'll blow up that bridge when we come to it."

"Nothing is getting blown up, **."

"The bridge is!" 

OR

“Not with that attitude”

“Remember guys, pain is just weakness leaving the body”

“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade, make life take them back.”

“Aw, he’s cute and stupid. I’m keeping him.”

“He- he almost killed like half of us with that shit!”

“Shush.”

“Hey ** do you know about the autistic monkeys?”

“Wha- *laughs* N-nO”

“Good.”

*laughs* “that’s so funny, the autistic monkeys”

“I said Arctic Monkeys”

“Oh- *laughs* Y-yEah, I know the band”

“What- I mean monkeys that live in the arctic”

“Oh- we were not on the same page for this entire conversation”

“I DID IT! I MADE HER/HIM CRY!”

“In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”

“I- thanks?”

“Who needs hygiene when you got cake?”

“Your horrible and I love you”

#incorrect quotes #i have to many #A lot of these happened irl #Some I got from friends #The rest are from stories/videos #The Autistic monkeys are me gaslighting my friends #Great memories

[dani-ya-dig]

THE ABIGAIL VIDEO!!! I HAVEN’T TALKED ABT MY WIFE!

Ok so like chronological order bc I have listened to the audio like a million times at this point lmao. And I WILL talk abt it bc everyone needs to be obsessed with this channel like I am it’s SO GOOD GUYS PLS I SWEAR!!! Kk

Glenwood’s magic is doing its thing, and I’m really glad that plot point keeps getting brought up. Like ofc right now most of us are definitely more focused on the romance between Abby, Wielder, and Rose (which same. Love my ladies) but also like HELLO??? Abigail, a nonwielder, was the first person to really think there was something behind how strange glenwood was! And she is actively trying to investigate it (with Wielder and maybe Rose), and now she has even more resources for that!!! Like I just love that Miss Castle is making sure we don’t forget abt this bc I think abt it all the time.

Abby knowing her mom was gonna get on her ass about buying shelves from Amazon rather than thrifting some >

Abigail apologizing every time she swears in the voicemail >>>>>

Also I wonder how far away Abby lives from her family now? She obviously misses them a whole lot regardless of how far away they are, but it makes me wonder if they are just like the next state over, or if this is an across the country situation. (Aka, Dani is desperately trying to figure out where Glenwood would be geographically so I can get more info). I think Rose mentioned something about her flying??? Unless I made that up. But if I didn’t that would mean her family is likely too far for Abby to be able to warrant driving there.

Abby telling her mom about her channel even if she doesn’t fully understand makes me wanna cry. ITS SO CUTE GUYS I SWEAR!!! imagining Abby sending pics of her streaming setup to her mom is fucking adorable and if you don’t see it idk what to tell you.

Also the audible cringe in Abby’s voice as she prepares herself for the knowledge that she would have to deal with everyone asking why she didn’t being a date to the wedding. So Harper coded lmao.

Maybe not a plus one… but a plus two???

“And they’re…. hah mom they’re really cool” IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM!!! THE WAY HER VOICE WENT ALL SOFT IM COSBSOXSBHDKDKCJC GOD IM SO GAY HOLY SHIT

“Please don’t play this for Sammy, when he comes back home, please Ma…” makes me giggle so hard because yeah, that sums up what having older siblings is like exactly, if you slip up once they will NEVER let it go

It makes me so fucking happy to hear Abby going all soft talking about how she had made a home in Glenwood, and how she feels safe with Wielder and Rose. Especially after she has dealt with not feeling like she fits in and, no doubt, bullying for most stages of her life. I’m just really happy to see the silly little gay people talking in my headphones get to be happy.

I NEED WIELDER AND ROSE TO MEET ABBY’S FAMILY ASAP! I know that they would both just be so overwhelmed with love from Abby’s (most likely) massive family. Rose especially would be so flustered from all the attention and love, having not come from a home that gave that love freely and unconditionally. It would probably be so refreshing for her. I KNOW Abby’s mom is gonna be feeding all of them well, too!

OMG IMAGINE!! Abby’s mom doing the usual embarrassing family stuff like pulling out baby pictures, and telling embarrassing stories, and Abigail obviously red in the face but still taking it on the chin until her mom pulls out the voicemail that Abigail had sent her when she first moved to Glenwood and all of them lose their shit in very different ways. Abigail is embarrassed beyond belief, Rose is also flustered from the “going at it” bit, and Wielder can’t stop laughing hysterically.

UGH ITS A NEED! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

#castle audios #castleaudios #castle audios Abigail #castle audios Abby #castleaudios Abby #castleaudios Abigail #castleaudios library trio #castle audios library trio

[fatedtruths]

❝  i dont want it ! dont you bloody see ? i am not like you . i can't afford to be reckless. i dont have a family who will support me. i don't go about shoving who i am in everyone's face and dreaming about a career in fucking politics, so i can be more scrutinized and picked apart by the entire godforsaken world. ❞  --- book

 [  ❝  for christ's sake alex for once i wish you could see me for who i am and not who you want me to be . sometimes i dont think you know me at all . i'm not like you . i cant afford to be reckless. i wasn't raised by a loving supportive family like you were. I have centuries of history bearing down on my shoulders. my life is the crown and yours is politics and i will not trade one prison for another. ❞  ]   --- movie

 ❝   i can love you , and want you, and still not want that life . i'm allowed. all right. and it doesnt make me a liar; it makes me a man with some infinitesimal shred of self-preservation, and you dont get to come here and call me a coward for it.  ❞  --- book & movie

the best part of this speech boils down to TWO major things : 1. henry's fear here is about his future being a political figure rather than a fading into obscurity royal and not about coming out as gay . and 2. he feels like alex doesn't see him, like he hasn't been listening to him at all the entire time

number one . crown vs politics instead of coming out .

henry has known he was gay for as long as he can remember , he is incredibly confident in that fact about himself and has never shied away from being with men . what henry does fear is his family and their long term abuse and they have made it perfectly clear that as it stands he is not allowed to come out BUT given half a chance he would, after a bit of worrying , come out in a heartbeat . it's simply that his chance may be twenty or more years in his future , it definitely wont be soon and he has long accepted that .

henry is acutely aware that he is the spare to the throne . which means philip will eventually have children and those children will eventually over take him as second in line  ( and then third and fourth ect ) and with every new niece or nephew his proximity to the throne lessens . which means that his importance lessens . he fully expects , by the time he is in his mid-late thirties , to begin his fade into obscurity as philip and his royal brood are the ones wanted at events rather than him . christ . he knows eventually he'll lose the prince of wales title and he's looking forward to that too . he is counting on this happening . he's got things he wants to do when he becomes a lesser royal , he wants to do a PhD, he wants to travel , he wants to walk through ancient cities without being mobbed by crowds because only obscure royalists and reaching paparazzi still know who he is . he cannot wait for it .

alex's future , as far as henry knows from everything that alex has told him , looks like law school and congress and the oval office and alex will achieve that . henry has absolutely no doubt that that man is incredible and so impressive and so smart and he will achieve it.  claremont (diaz) is going to be the new dynastic political family in the united states . henry can tell . and he would be so proud of that . but he cannot be a part of it . he refuses to be a part of it . otherwise just as he's expecting to shift into his obscure best life his future will look like the partner   ( or husband )   of an american congressman , or a sitting american president , and there is nothing obscure about that . christ .   if anything it is more invasive than his life already because at least there is an understanding that he will not answer questions on religion or politics or tense topics , at least he has the protection of a firm that has existed for centuries, and has centuries of experience of controlling the narrative . as much as he thinks the crown is obsolete , and as much as they are responsible for most of his issues , they do protect him as much as they exploit him . they are the devil he knows , the devil he understands , politics is not . in his mind , politics is worse .

but this should not be a problem , it doesn't matter that he has loved alex the entire time because alex will eventually get bored and move on . at least that is what henry thinks , that is what he expects . instead , alex begins to talk about holding hands in public and building a future together and henry doesn't even remember how he builds to the emotional almost confession , but he remembers how the panic built in him because he cannot give alex that , not when alex is so fixed on his future being politics .

so he runs . he tears his own heart out with his bare hands and cuts alex loose because he cannot be that for him and he will not be that for him . instead he will watch him and want him and love him from a distance and will make himself content in existing like that .

number two . how alex sees him .

alex's speech in texas frustrates henry when he thinks back on it because alex's words imply that the only reason that they are not out already is because of the building election . it ignores all of the pressures and stresses that henry has bearing down on him , it ignores his abusive and homophobic and racist family , it ignores how they have convinced him he will not be accepted as a gay prince , but mostly it ignores every fear and truth he has ever told alex about his life .

long story short, alex hits a nerve .

alex who initially hated him for four years because of a simple misunderstanding where he did not even think to consider that he might not be perfectly charming only a few months after his father died . and henry who is so used to people jumping to conclusions about him and forgetting that he is someone with thoughts and feelings and fears that he's overly sensitive to it . in that moment and in the thinking on it afterwards henry realises the ache in his chest comes from not being considered . alex is once again projecting who he wants him to be onto him and henry thought he had been so clear and honest and open with him about who he was on him . he thought he was clear that just because he is confident in his sexuality doesn't mean he wants to come out . especially not in the next year and he never indicated that he wanted to come out with alex .

once again , alex just assumed , projected onto him this image of someone who is itching to get out of the closet and show the world his sexuality just because alex realised he was queer a few months back and is now ready to scream it to the world does not mean that the man who has known his his entire life is ready to as well . he isn't. he's not there yet .

#[ HENRY — headcanons ] #this is long as balls and i am not remotely sorry. i have had THOUGHTS and FEELINGS about it all day #im not saying that alex's line about how queer people have the right to not want to come out at all #is directly a way of him saying he /gets it now/ to henry. esp while he cant see or talk to him #except that is exactly what i am saying

[demadogs]

Of course the Duffers knew how everyone would be freaking out. Out of all the battles in Stranger Things, the one in which Stranger Things is sort of an ace under Netflix's sleeve against Disney gotta be the biggest one and Netflix is just trying to keep on top of Disney, making ST a trend topic is just the way to do so, even more because Disney just premiered Obi-Wan. Both series premiered a day apart, that's probably why s4 was cut in two too... and the thing is the feud with Disney is one of the main reasons i believe they might go through with Byler. Disney has been cowarding about having lgbt characters and will erase them from existence if they can (which - spoiler - happened twice just in Dr. Strange 2). On the other hand Netflix gets a bit of backlash about havibg so many queer characters, but they are more open to lgbt characters getting what they want (cue to the success of Heartstopper and how they renewed it for not 1 but 2 more seasons already only a month after its initial release). I know ST is way too mainstream at this point and a lot of people who watch it might not care about the lgbt community, but the fact that Will may be gay was thrown into the story from the very beginning which means people still watching came into season 2 already expecting something could happen on that matter. It only grew stronger as the seasons went by. Not for nothing many are complaining about Mike's cold behavior towards E* this season. It's the little things that make me believe this might still happen.

yeah i guess there is a whole other business side to it that i never considered but i dont agree with all of this. i dont think the duffers had any of netflix’s competitors in mind when deciding to go through with byler. i think if that was true then all the queercoding we’ve seen wouldnt have been there because it would be a random marketing decision, not a progressive character arc. and disney has nothing to do with why they divided it up, they did that because 13 hours of content dropped all at once would be a bit much.

the rest of this ask has nothing to do with byler i just kinda went off about gay media and couldnt stop.

disney is pretty shit when it comes to lgbt characters. when the force awakens came out people loved the idea of finnpoe and even the actors stated multiple times that theyd be so on board with that but when the last jedi came out if i remember correctly i think they barely had any screen time together? i think there was one kinda wholesome moment at the beginning and then nothing the whole rest of the movie. and yet they had two unnamed girls kiss for one second that was edited out in multiple countries and had the nerve to call it “representation”.

that being said, i do have beef with netflix about their lgbt representation too. every single one of my favorite wlw shows on netflix has been canceled. the mlm ones fucking skyrocket but they always cancel the girl ones and it pisses me off. i am not okay with this, everything sucks, one day at a time, trinkets, like fucking COME ON!!!!!

i will never be over them canceling ianowt and everything sucks. both have very appropriate names for how i felt about them being canceled. ianowt had such a cool supernatural plot and i loved the cast so much and everything sucks was just fucking adorable with the super popular girl getting with the nerdy shy girl in the 90s. i loved it and it had so much more potential. they also canceled one day at a time which is such a fucking funny show. it’s a good comedy that casually has a lesbian lead and its just genuinely hilarious. i wrote a paper about this show my freshman year of college.

another thing was in the end of the fucking world. listen i LOVE this show with all my heart. i did a semester long project on it and i have the comic its based on, but in season one there was a whole lesbian cop side plot and they completely threw it out in season two!!! you didnt even see those characters again!! its so fucking annoying thats my only complaint about that show.

i know not EVERY wlw netflix show has been canceled, but too many of them have. i’ll always be pissed about ianowt because that was supernatural and lesbian and theres just not enough shows that have that. give me more superpower lesbians.

thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#im not even gonna tag any st tags cuz i really just went off about wlw shows and didnt even mention byler huh #eden answers

[strangeswift]

One of the arguments that gay!Mike truthers use is that the show 'focuses more on Mike's lack of interest in girls than it focuses on Will's lack of interest in girls'.... which is, blatantly untrue?

Like. Will's lack of interest is girls is the main focus when it comes to Will's sexuality. We literally see multiple scene on the show where Will just disregards and is weirded out by girls' attraction to him. In Snowball where it's obvious as fuck that he's faking through it when the girl asked him to dance, and the more blatant example in S4 class scene where a girl was hitting on him, and the narrative literally focuses on Will's lack of attraction to girls ''it is not my fault you don't like girls'' which is about referring to Will's obvious lack of interest in girls. Will isnt even interested in what girls would like cue S2 and S3 moments. It is actually a blatant contrast to Mike and other boys in fact IMHO, Mike actually wants and desires to impress a girl (this is stated by the Duffers and Finn himself) he is interested in impressing girls/getting a GF. It is Will who isn't interested in anything such, that is why S3 moment is such a big thing for Will's character because he's being left out and he cannot relate to Mike and Lucas who are all about girls now.

Will's being gay is written in a sense that he truly is blatantly uninterested in girls in every way. I feel like I am being gaslight when I read about other Bylers' theories, it is like flipping the characterization. LIKE. Bruh. The whole thing with S3!Will is that his lack of interest in girls is the main reason why he's left out.... while his other friends are moving on and just... growing up but Will cannot because he simply isnt interested in girls like that, and he cannot relate.... That's really the thing and the sole difference between Will and the other boys. That's the narrative literally.

Also I dont really vibe with this whole 'Mike has a crush on Eddie, roller rink guy, this guy from Nancy's club' etc 'theories'. Honestly, I don't think his actions/behaviors are meant to be read as such and most people are taking things out of context in those scenes. Theorizing about Mike's queercoding is one thing, but then just..... taking things out of context to prove that is another thing which kinda borders on being unintentionally homophobic too as if Mike has to or intended to look at every guy he sees with attraction. I dont think those scenes are meant to read that way honestly.

Hi anon! I'm gonna break this up just cuz it makes it easier to respond to.

Here we go:

"One of the arguments that gay!Mike truthers use is that the show 'focuses more on Mike's lack of interest in girls than it focuses on Will's lack of interest in girls'.... which is, blatantly untrue?"

I agree that this is untrue. I haven't personally seen anyone make this argument I don't think? If they do, maybe just... don't listen to that person. 🤷‍♀️

"'it is not my fault you don't like girls' which is about referring to Will's obvious lack of interest in girls."

Agree, but this also reads as projection to me so I would argue it also is implying Mike's lack of interest in girls. That's just my interpretation though, either way your original point still stands so it doesnt really matter in this context. I just wanted to throw in my two cents here.

"Will isnt even interested in what girls would like cue S2 and S3 moments. It is actually a blatant contrast to Mike and other boys in fact IMHO, Mike actually wants and desires to impress a girl (this is stated by the Duffers and Finn himself) he is interested in impressing girls/getting a GF. It is Will who isn't interested in anything such, that is why S3 moment is such a big thing for Will's character because he's being left out and he cannot relate to Mike and Lucas who are all about girls now."

My personal interpretation is that Mike is experiencing compulsory heterosexuality. He's redirecting his feelings for Will onto El. That's the source of the conflict.

"Will's being gay is written in a sense that he truly is blatantly uninterested in girls in every way. I feel like I am being gaslight when I read about other Bylers' theories, it is like flipping the characterization. LIKE. Bruh. The whole thing with S3!Will is that his lack of interest in girls is the main reason why he's left out.... while his other friends are moving on and just... growing up but Will cannot because he simply isnt interested in girls like that, and he cannot relate.... That's really the thing and the sole difference between Will and the other boys. That's the narrative literally."

That is indeed the narrative. I just happen to think that Mike is also struggling with his sexuality at this time, it just manifests differently.

The thing is, being gay doesn't mean you never show any interest in the opposite sex. Compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia are powerful things.

"Also I dont really vibe with this whole 'Mike has a crush on Eddie, roller rink guy, this guy from Nancy's club' etc 'theories'. Honestly, I don't think his actions/behaviors are meant to be read as such and most people are taking things out of context in those scenes. Theorizing about Mike's queercoding is one thing, but then just..... taking things out of context to prove that is another thing which kinda borders on being unintentionally homophobic too as if Mike has to or intended to look at every guy he sees with attraction. I dont think those scenes are meant to read that way honestly."

I don't think the scenes are meant to be read that way either. I definitely don't think these scenes should be used as any kind of proof about Mike's sexuality. (I am a Mike has a crush on Eddie truther but that's more of just a headcanon.)

I do think it's fairly harmless in fanon to say Mike is crushing on a bunch of boys. I don't really see it as homophobic, teenagers have a lot of crushes. I had crushes on a lot of girls as a teen. Full disclosure I made a post about how the idea of Mike crushing on a bunch of boys is kind of hilarious to me, because it sort of flips the Mi1even's "Mike is the straightest character to ever exist" narrative on its head. But I do understand how it can be viewed as reinforcing negative stereotypes so I'm not trying to invalidate anyone who thinks it's kinda homophobic. I just... don't think that.

#byler #asks #abby rambles

[private-bowling-ball]

i keep talking about this but the 4kids yugioh dub is so bad and i like the noises that my keyboard makes so im gonna start ranting and blabbing about yugioh gx and stuff, i dont kow what will come of this i cannot forsee it. in the yugioh gx 4kids dub they got rid of a WHOLE ASS SEASON!!! and i was like, "they fucking killed judai? that make no scense?" bc 4kids doesnt kill people i think and also the 4kids on piece dub, im not even going to say anything i hate it way too much i cannot express it in words. and also a little bit gay i think bc yubel is a spirit and therefore has no gender so is gender nutreal or non'binary i dont know muck about the lgbtq community and differences between certain things sorry. but they cut out the entire season 4 wich gives alot more johan who i have a massive cruch on and i bet that whoever is reading this f anyone does than they'll be like wouldnt that make you gay? well im a gay 16 year old male and im actually bi wich means i like both genders and i laugh when i see torture and gory scenes in anime like when kaneki was being tortured by yamori i just thought the concept of a toe bucket was funny bc he was putting kanekis toes in a bucket i really like typing about things on my mind and it feels really good bc i like the keyboard noises and i already said that but no one is gonna read this so aklso hwenebver i watch a anime i set my heart on a ship at the very beginging if their's anything promising and then i see the chareters evolve a nd see if it would still work or work better and i thing that in bl animes should be more direct some times and when the seaon two of yuri on ic ecoems out im gonna fucking die bc the people making it might make ships more cannon and my gay ass gets to see more of pilitski and is it just me or when yuri is wearing his glasses does he look kinga like fiuery from fma and fmag im aware that i spelled his name wrong but i dont know how to spell it so that sucks for me i keep writing about loosely related topiccs and i looked into yugioh gx 4kids dub more and i found out that they were dubbing it wthout paying or without concesnt and then htey got sued by the original company making the yugioh anime so they had to cut off seasson 4 and give i ta shitty ending and i really hate sho hes a stupid asshol and hes stupid and also theirs a guy in beyblade name sho i think and he did a thiing with his hair one time and that made my 9 yer old self feel gay wich i am 16 now i just watched that when i was nine and i was denying tthat i was attracted to a male charecter and i ememebetr when i was twleve i watched death note for the first time and i thought misa was hot and i was thibking that ii wanted to band her so bad, i was a really impure child wich i sitll am a minor but my best frieng jessie s two years older than me so he isnnt and also yknow judai from yugioh gx? well hanako from toilet boung hanako kiuns blue ghosty orby thingy is called haaku-joudai or somehing like that and i fing hanakos mental state very interesting to rad about and im buying the manga nad im so damn exited i read it onling eaarlier on crunchyroll nd i dindnt finish the manda but ive seen he anime three times and i noticed that hanako has the same sub voice actor as izuku midoriya from my hero acedamia and i thought that that was cool and i should stop ive been writing for over tn minutes and i keep a little record of my anime ants and me typing about stuff on my phone wich is difficult to type on bc its an old flip phone wich reminds me of this old show i used to watch aboutdragons that ate flipphoes and i forgot the rest but im using my family's computer rn and im not on my account so i should fuck off by :)

[winderlylandchime]

Hello! Hope you are doing well. My brother has officially introduced Brian the cat to his therapist today. I walked into the living room to find him sitting in front of the computer holding the cat up close go the camera and then, i guess his therapist logged on or something and he was waiting for him because out of nowhere all i heard was a deep sigh and ‘so it’s gonna be one of those type of sessions again, huh? *long pause while my brother continues to hold the cat to the camera* hey, (brother’s name) whatcha got there?’ And then my brother went ‘(his therapist name) meet Brian! He is my new best friend. Since the real deal isn’t available to me, i had to improvise.’ And then i guess his therapist started writing something down because my brother suddenly went ‘hey, nothing i said or did should make you write for this long, man.’ I did leave the room after that but the last thing I heard before i left was the therapist saying ‘be honest, did you steal the cat like the last time?’ And I obviously had a reaction to it and my brother screamed at me ‘IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! They all look the same so i took the wrong one home *and then he turned to his computer and went* and for the record it was a DOG not a cat. And dont be silly, Brian came to moi by choice’ I asked our mom and turns out he accidentally took the wrong dog home from the groomers and she did confirm the dogs were the same breed and even had the same type of white patch on their fur. However she thinks he should’ve realized something is up when the dog was shy and terrified of him.

Also the cat has officially gotten nicknames, the obvious one is Bri Bri, Bri the Cat, Bri/an the second, Brian Kinney Taylor (that one lasted a day), Bri the mad cat (after 2x01 and its only used when Brian bites him), Mr Bri the second and Brian-Baby-Sweetie-Kinney. He very briefly tried calling it Brian Justin Honeycutt Kinney but it didn’t last because he felt like the cat hated having two names and a last name.

He also has managed to piss off our mom because he’s been rewatching old episodes this week and he’s been sending her long voice memos of complaints about it (mind you he did that already so she’s having a deja vu moment) and my mom tried to bribe him to stop and be normal for at least a day. Which immediately flew out the window because he asked her if she loved him if he was like Brian. She started to ignore him so he instead started to annoy our dad. It started very simple with “normal” questions such as: ‘if i had cancer would you still love me?’ (The answer was ‘what the fuck type of question is that?’) ‘if i was gay and in love with myself would you still love me?’ (The answer to that was ‘(his name) I’m in a meeting right now if this is your way of coming out can you wait 10 minutes?’) then my all time favorite question ‘if I randomly got a buzzcut would you realize that something is wrong or would you just let me go?’ (Answer to that was ‘send me a picture of yourself right now!’) and the last but not least ‘would you help me take down a dirty politician and a violinist?’ (And the answer to that was ‘fucking hell, this is about that show isnt it?!’)

So the three main people who judge his mental state (only one professionally) for sure have to be a bit concerned.

Hello dear sweet anon! I’m sorry about taking so long to respond to your messages from yesterday. I got my covid booster and by the time I was done with work for the day, I felt like I got hit by a truck. Far far better than getting covid but the vaccine always takes me out for a day or two.

Your brother’s therapist has lost all patience for him. But also - your brother stole a dog!?! By accident, but still!

The whole point of a pet’s name is to generate nicknames. My pets only get called by their full names when they are in trouble.

“I’m in a meeting right now if this is your way of coming out can you wait 10 minutes” I AM DYING. Your poor mom and dad are really going for a ride here.

#ask winderlylandchime #dear sweet anon #queer as folk #a straight man watches qaf us 2000 in the year of our lord 2023

[someguynamedraeburn]

Discussing politics amongst friends.

So, i started this whole page mostly as a joke and partly out of spite of some ridiculous post going off about how some one wanted to feel special to the point they tried to ruin others fun and a good pastime.

since then I have on several occasions, conversations and topics that have arisen, I’ve been tempted to come back and just throw my thoughts to the void. i dont expect, want or even think anyone should interact with anything i post here. if some one does i’d like to think that i would respond and try to have a discussion with the. if today is anything to go by however, i’m not sure that would serve the purpose i’m looking for.

why am i telling you all this? im not, im just vomiting words out onto a screen into a void. why I’m doing this however, that’s easy, PEOPLE NEED TO TALK.

I was having a discussion in general about politics with a couple of friends when the conversation turned to the idea of early education about the LGBT in school and Florida’s “dont say gay bill” that was passed, and while discussing such topic one friend then asked me “what do you think they’re going to do with the bill and how they’re going to implement it.

to which i simply responded “i don’t know, break it down for me like i dont know the situation.” which was my way of trying to give them an opening to explain and express their fears about this bill, to which they simply pointed to a bunch of rhetoric about the LGBT being groomers. and then they immediately shut down the conversation by stating matter of fact like that i was “standing up for people who very much are trying to hurt people like me.” they then followed this up with a couple examples of people using rhetoric of the LGBT being gromers.

I wasnt defending them nor was i even given a chance to respond before they simply dipped out of the conversation. (Note; i do not hold this against them, i believe at any point if you feel that you find yourself going around and around in circles that you probably need to take a step back and maybe MAYBE try again later.) i wasnt afforded any such situation to make myself clear nor was any question i asked about it answered by this friend, just pointing to people going “but they called the LGBT groomers” doesnt answer the questions i was asking because i never asked about the people being pointed to, i was simply asking for what they think was going to happen. I never got an answer.

onto the other friend in this conversation, they do or at least appear to agree with our first friends comments, but were willing to at first glance continue having a discussion about the topic. so for only a brief moment i thought that there might be a chance i could be educated on this further, maybe clear up my misunderstandings that i had, 

unfortunately this wasnt the case as it once again just rolled back around to the arguement of, “well they are going to use to some how abuse kids. I don’t know how teachers not being able to give specific information to the parents about the kids (in relation the being LGBT) can be abused. Maybe some one who reads this eventually can tell me. All i can be certain of was that i wasnt going to get anywhere with these two tonight, so i called it and went about my night,

So, this is what this will be for the most part, Me just yelling into the void about: well probably anything and everything., probably mostly just things i need to say and dont really need anyone i know to hear, (to the one person i know knows this exists... this is your chance to get out,)

until the next time i need to scream into the void, take care of yourselves, look out for one another, and try to educate people when you can, don’t just walk away when some ones asking questions. They might be genuine and you might make an ally in your fight,

Signed

This Asshole on the internet.

[relaxxattack]

hi im asking u this bc u seem to be bee duo enthusiast so

ive been calling c! beeduos relationship platonic because i thought that was what their cc’s said, and i thought they had said that they were uncomfortable with ppl shipping the characters. But ive seen a lot of posts that say their relationship is canonically romantic? and i absolutely do not want to come across as homophobic by watering down a mlm relationship to just friends because that happens so much in media so.

what is the canon state of their relationship / ur opinions on the platonic thibg

dont worry abt answering if u dont want to!! i see a lot of differing opinions and i trust yours :)

aw it’s totally fine, im flattered you asked me about this!

let me put it simply: it’s a whole mess, lol.

first im going to talk about what’s happened fandom-wide that caused differing opinions, and then i’ll explain my own opinion/interpretation. :]

(this got really fucking long im so sorry)

ranboo and tubbo initially proclaimed the relationship was romantic, specifically in argument with the wiki editors who had set it as platonic by default. (you can see this in the vod where they decide they’re canonically married— it’s very funny. chat tells them the marriage is already on the wiki, they check, tubbo is jokingly offended that it says platonic and asks if he needs to up the romance).

tubbo also makes jokes about adultry, which sort of implies the relationship is not necessarily a platonic one.

(theres definetly more in that stream alone but it’s been a long time since i watched it so i don’t remember a lot of it.)

the wiki, because of this, suffers from going back and forth on platonic and romantic, seemingly unsure where the joke ends and the canon begins, or if its canonically a joke! a mess, as you can already tell.

this gets more complicated as the marriage bit goes on: outsiders, such as phil and scott, both at one point say “platonic marriage”, which then ranboo and tubbo agree with. however, when chat asks them if they’re platonic, they say the opposite. so there is a lot of confusion there.

there’s also the difficulty of being able to tell streamers and characters apart. ranboo and tubbo both don’t like being shipped irl, and that’s their boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed. (they’re also minors, but tbh when they’re 18 in a year i will still be following their boundaries regardless of their legal age).

due to people not wanting to be accused of minor shipping, they started adding the platonic tone indicator to most of their drawings— basically a way of saying “no homo”. meanwhile, tubbo frequently on stream flirts with ranboo and makes quite a bit of nsfw comments towards him that are frankly hilarious.

this goes on for a while with nobody really sure what’s canon, but a lot of people assuming it’s probably platonic, until: the drama of the mods night. a few mods dmed all the wiki editors telling them ranboo wanted his canon character relationship officially set to platonic.

unfortunately for those mods; the very same day, a few hours later, ranboo on stream makes fun of puffy delivering him and tubbo “friendship flowers”. because, and i quote, “bruh. we’re literally married. this must be how the ancient greeks felt.”

in case you don’t know, the internet often jokes about how historians will call ancient greeks ‘very good friends’ when they are quite obviously gay. so in this context, ranboo is joking that people will call him and c!tubbo, who are married, “close friends”, when he doesn’t think they are.

basically, ranboo canonized romantic bee duo, the very same day the mods told everyone he’d wanted a platonic one.

chaos and drama immediately erupted everywhere. on tumblr, we were talking about how weird it was of his mods to do something like that without asking him first. we ALSO talked about how weird it was of them to assume that ranboo can’t make his own decisions, or assume teenagers cannot be in relationships without it being sexual. twitter did the same thing but in the opposite direction: called ranboo mods homophobic, or said they were mad ranboo felt pressured into making a romantic relationship canon ‘just so people could have mlm rep.’

i dont want to go into detail about the drama that happened that night because apparently official people follow me and i dont want to stir it up or have them come “clarify” things. im just saying what we talked about.

ranboo in typical ranboo fashion apologized quickly and seriously. he was deeply sorry for possibly offending anyone with how he’d portrayed his rp relationship with tubbo, and he also assured everyone the mod thing was just a miscommunication.

he said he would talk to tubbo and they’d decide once and for all whether it was platonic or romantic, and then announce so everyone would know.

it’s now been a few months and we've had no word from them on that development. we still have no clue.

-

now, here’s my opinion:

i want to take ranboos word for it that it was a miscommunication with his mods, but... we had it on good authority from people on the wiki team and people in the discord with the mods that (while it was happening) they were really going after the wiki admins, and also made some weird comments about it. that combined with the way ranboo seemingly had no clue (considering he canonized their romance that very same day).... it’s very. sus of the mods.

then there’s the canon we’ve got since then. although occasionally adults in the room have called it a “platonic marriage” and tubbo once (back when it first started) called it a “plankton tectonic” marriage, in roleplay it’s been... kind of not that. tubbo and ranboo make nsfw jokes about each other in character, and their characters also share a master bedroom and bed in the mansion. there's also the way c!tommy really thinks it’s a romance between them as well, and they agree with and play off that— for instance confirming that they “fell in love” when he asked, or ranboo confirming that they “make out on occasion”.

people will still put platonic on their art and posts, imo, because they’re worried about breaking ranboo and tubbo’s irl boundaries by looking like they ship them. or even just being accused of shipping real life minors. and that’s a valid fear to have.

the thing is though: c!bee duo are not cc!bee duo. they’re roleplay characters. cc!bee duo are not okay with being shipped, but they made their characters get canonically married, and call each other “husbands”. so it’s okay to write the word “husband” in your comic without adding “platonic” to it, i promise.

telling the ccs that their characters have to be platonic is... weird. it comes off as not only babying them, but also as saying teens can’t date without it being gross. which isn’t true.

(this is why seeing people overuse “platonic husband” so much bothers me. like, they ARE husbands. you can just say it. what are you trying to hide...?)

-

do i think they’re canonically romantic? ehh, its likely. it’s still okay to interpret them as platonic, because again, it’s hard to tell where jokes end and roleplay begins. like, maybe it’s jokes in the rp too, and c!bee duo are just friends. friends can and should be allowed to make jokes like that with each other! aro & ace marriages exist!

or, maybe it’s actually part of the rp, and they’re very much romantic. we don’t know!

some people say they could be a qpr (queerplatonic romance), which i could see. (a qpr is a relationship that fluctuates between, or can’t quite be sorted into, “romantic” and “platonic”. people in a qpr can do romantic things while having platonic feelings for each other). in my opinion this is a very valid interpretation as well!

-

CONCLUSION (sorry this got so long omfg):

are c!bee duo romantic?

its likely, but you can still interpret them however you like!

should i put /p on bee duo content?

ehhh? i find it annoying when it’s overused (as do others), but if you’re worried you can. its up to preference. putting it too much is weird though

should i put /p on things cc! bee duo do?

no. you’re not the one saying it so you can’t decide the tone tags for that. imagine you said something to your friend and a random stranger came up and was like “haha but that was /p right...?”

can i ship c!bee duo?

mmm. i’m not sure on this one. they are canonically married and very flirtatious, but the ccs don’t like being shipped and they’re close enough to being the ccs that actively shipping might be against boundaries.

can i treat c!bee duo as romantic?

yes. literally just don’t be weird about it. it’s not that hard! you can understand that two characters are husbands without making it weird

here’s the most important thing: boundaries. cc bee duo still haven’t told us what their preferences and canon is about this whole thing.

right now, i am assuming based on what they already show us they’re comfortable with, but! the second they give us any more info! all these opinions will change!

i am only going off what they do. i would never want to cross boundaries at all. i just wish they would make theirs a little more clear.

..... i hope that helped anon, i went way off the rails... i need to go to sleep.

#it’s late im so sorry for how much i rambled and wrote #i hope this helps you #bee duo #og post #there’s probably so many spelling errors i need to go to bed #i tried to fix some spelling so reblog this one ig #and not the old one

[oro-e-diamanti]

Quiet Music: Scherzo (Chapter Six; Part One)

In collaboration with @bethanysnow

Dreams turn into reality on smokey breaths. Inner turmoil melts away with the touch from warm skin. Promises make the evening decisions go from complicated to deliciously easy.

Content | Fluff, slight smut warning, tw soft drugs (marijuana)

Pairing | fem!Reader x Damiano

Word Count | 4421

Taglist | @damianodavide @lizstans @unitersmoonshine @its-afucking-mess @ethaneskin @dont-let-me-drown-in-you @vampirtet @lividisuigomiti @juststalking @tabi-toast @ethan-torchio-angelo @cheese-toastie-11 @thewitchinthemountain @ethanesimp @sofckinelectric @man3skin @daddydamiano @finelinejpm @superchrystaldrug @ginny-lily @everythingisdefinitelynotfine @nientedaridere @rainbowmarta @tiaamberxx @shaunthesheesh @enjcltaire @rocketqueen @aleksanderwh0r3 @damianodavidhands @megann-duff @teatrodellavita @coven-daddy  @till-you-scream-and-cry @solasullabarca @fanfictionandfluff @makapaka11 @slave4yourlove @geklutst-ei @marriedwithmarktuan @bookish0918 @mehrmonga @kanevill @butterfly-skinnylegend @lidiyabest @killerqueen1985 @ccweasley @bluscryn @deluxeplanteater @ohtorchio @messyhairday-me @bidet-and-legolas @maybanksslut @katyldamusic​ @fuckim-so-gay @demoiselle-en-detresse00 @petit-poussin @fedorable-killjoys​ @luvbadass​ @buttercup-beeee​ @navs-bhat​ @etaerealboyv​ @tryymebitch​ @mell-bell​ @fenhakwe​ @solacestyles​ @softforlukescurls​ @vicsangel​ @theimpossiblehologramtree​ @alina-exe​ @cherricola66​

***

Soft skin against his fingers. A hand running down his chest to his pants. Heavy breathing filling the room. The flesh underneath him felt warm and welcoming, hot to the touch and begging for more. Her perfume filled his senses as she pulled him close. Nails running down his back. Whispers of "amore mio, just like that", "keep going,” “cara mia, vita mia, please".

A “Dami, fuck” leaving her lips as his hand started gripping her thighs. Running between them, as she threw her head back, fingers tangled in his hair, pulling on it. Biting her neck. Coaxing more moans out of him, on a mission to make him lose his mind. She was heaven on earth. Supple breasts moving with every breath as he let his mouth descend on them, one at a time, desperate to consume all of her. Kissing every inch of her, exploring her until he knew about every curve, every ridge, every little spot of her body. He wanted to know all the secrets she ever had. Drawing noises out of her that he wanted to keep hearing for the rest of his life. Her hands on his shoulders, on his back, on his arse. Pulling him further into her. Letting his mouth wander lower, getting wrapped up between her legs. She looked at him with dark eyes, nodding, and he was ready to suffocate in between her thighs.

Wait, was he actually suffocating on her thighs?

Damiano woke up with a start, face pressed deeply into the pillow, restricting his breathing in a way that was much less sexy than the one in his dream. A circle of drool had escaped his mouth and dropped onto the pillow. Well, that's embarrassing, he thought to himself.

He was in the middle of pushing himself up and out of bed, highly aware of the situation in his boxers - only to be interrupted when a knock on the door startled him. Trying to wrap the sheet around him, suddenly overly self-conscious of his state, he hastened to the door, almost tripping several times on the way. When he finally unlocked and opened it, he just about let his head appear in the opening, awkwardly hiding between the door still. Y/n’s face was painted in confusion. He forgot how stunning she really was, his brain not even coming close to painting her image in his dreams.

“Yes, hi, good morning, I’m up! I’ll be down in an hour!” He was rushing to finish his sentence, not giving her a chance to reply before he let the door fall back into its lock. A deep breath out. Her face instilled in his mind like a photograph, unable to be separated from the extremely vivid dream he’d just had. He felt bad. He had essentially slammed the door in her face while wrapped up in a bedsheet. Not a very good impression considering he liked the woman behind the door. This was going to be such a long day.

***

“Why are you so awkward?” Victoria nudged Damiano as they had settled on a couch on the bus. He had been looking off since she had first seen him that morning, which was odd. Especially considering he was usually more of an early bird than the rest of them. “Sleep badly? Bad dreams? Good dreams? Or did you scare Y/n away again with another morning wood incident.”

Damiano’s face burned up as if suddenly ignited, making Victoria gasp.

“Oh my god, did you?!” She smacked his chest with her hand as she let out a gasp.

“I wasn’t even aware you knew about the first time,” Damiano mumbled, slumping down deeper into the seat. Crawling into the shirt he was wearing. Anything to get out of this conversation.

“Word travels fast on tour, you should know that by now,” she giggled, repositioning so she had her legs spread across his thighs. “So what happened?”

“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” he scoffed. Victoria’s grin only spread further, though. She was loving this side of Damiano more than she would like to admit - shy, awkward, unsure of himself. He was one of the best people she knew, an amazing frontman, a talented musician, a loyal friend. Yet with one little addition to the team he had turned into a quivering mess.

“You know I’m just going to ask Y/n what happened, right?”

“Yeah good luck with that, she didn’t even notice. At least I hope not.”

“Wait - so you hid your boner from her? I mean, at least you didn’t traumatise her again. What happened though, did you have some good times before the wake-up call?” She once again nudged him obnoxiously, loving how uncomfortable she was making him. “Did you have a wet dream? Did- Oh my god, you’re blushing, you did have a wet dream! Tell me everything! Was it hot? Did she go down on you or something? Did you see her tits?”

“Fuck off Victoria, I’m not telling you anything, now stop! It’s no like-”

“Hi! Attention, everyone! I know it's early and everyone is probably still asleep. But - announcements! That includes you Thomas,” Y/n said pulling the curtain of the guitarist’s bunk back so he could listen too.

Victoria noticed how their assistant didn’t seem spooked by Damiano’s presence at all - it seemed like he had been right after all. She hadn’t noticed a thing. If only those two would stop playing cat and mouse and finally do something, anything, she thought.

"Now, I know we're all excited about going to Amsterdam today, and I'm not looking at anyone in particular here," she explained as she shot a pointed look at Damiano that no one missed. "But I have one ground rule: no weed before the show. You got tomorrow off, so whatever you do after the performance tonight is none of my business. But god help you if I find you with a joint in hand any time before that."

She smiled, but Victoria had no doubts she would be deadly serious if it came to it. Y/n passed out a map of the local area, highlighting the Leidseplein in the middle of town, and in red circles were the venue, the hotel they were staying at, restaurants, and several coffeeshops, all within easy walking distance.

“Do with that what you like,” she concluded. ”As long as you do it after the show.”

***

The band had gotten to the venue straight after lunch, excitedly discussing some new covers they were thinking about playing that night. Soundcheck consisted of a number of conversations all at once, trying to figure out how to change the setlist. Damiano found himself participating less, instead, staring down at Y/n sitting in the audience. She was busy writing in her notebook, the seats next to her taken up by her bag, folders, and laptop. He knew she needed a break. They all worked extremely hard all the time, so it wasn't difficult to spot the signs of a fellow overworked person. He made it his own personal mission to get her to go out with them that night. Spend some time outside of work, see the city, anything that made her put her phone down.

As day turned to night, the concert loomed on the horizon. As soon as they hit the stage, it was clear it was going to be a good night. Amsterdam was the best kind of crazy. Going from Zitti e Buoni into Billie Eilish's Bury a Friend, the crowd went wild. Damiano noticed with amusement that Y/n was absentmindedly dancing along from her spot on the side of the stage as well. His attention had only been diverted towards her for a second, he was sure, but it was enough to suddenly feel something hit his head. Soft, red fabric.

"Was wondering when the first of those would come around," Damiano chuckled into the microphone in between songs, swinging the bra around a few times, before draping it across his mic stand.

Yet as much as the energy of the audience rubbed off on the band, all of them felt like collapsing after the show, feeling like they'd given it more than their all. A perfect chance to unwind for the night, in a way only Amsterdam really knew how. It was legal, after all.

***

“I am absolutely not getting high with you lot.”

Everyone was gathered in Y/n’s hotel room more or less uninvited. It seemed like they were dying to drag her along on what was supposed to be one of the best nights out on that tour. After getting ready, they had simply stormed in as soon as she had opened her hotel door. Now they were perched on her bed, her desk, and her armchair, trying to convince her.

“I gave you all a map to see where you could go. I, for one, would like to stay in my room, just me and my bed, and sleep till my alarm in the morning. That sounds like a brilliant time in my book.”

“Boring!” Thomas shouted, hurling a pillow from the bed at her that she quickly caught and threw back with much less force.

“If you come out with us, we’ll be ready before your wake-up call for the rest of the week!” Victoria tried to bribe.

“If you come out with us, we’ll have breakfast ready for you every day!” Y/n shot a look at Thomas, knowing fully well this was not going to happen. The idea alone made her laugh.

“If you come out with us, you can keep me company while the other three go crazy?” Ethan finally offered. She knew she was close to giving in, no matter how wrong it seemed to blur the lines between working relationship and friendship. She barely even agreed to drinks when she was on the job, and technically, she considered herself to be on the job 24/7. Yet these four had grown close to her heart so much more than anticipated.

Out of nowhere Damiano appeared next to her, slinging his arm around her shoulder. The way his fingertips brushed her neck as he did so left goosebumps. “Come on, darling, I promise I’ll take care of you.”

It turned out, that was all she had needed to hear.

***

The coffeeshop didn’t differ much from the usual pubs and bars; people stuffed in every corner, a low murmur of talk with the occasional loud laughter over the music playing in the background, tables full of glasses and bottles. Only the smoke lingering in the air, its distinct smell, and the relaxed atmosphere let on that it was a slightly different kind of place. Y/n made short work of weaseling through the crowd and securing a table at the far end of the place, just enough space to accommodate all of them, as the others went to order.

“Do you want one as well?” Damiano asked as soon as he had let himself fall onto the couch next to her, already preparing to roll a joint.

“I think I’m getting a second-hand high just sitting here. Maybe take a puff of one of yours, but I won't be able to finish one myself."

Damiano nodded, licking the inside of the blanks as he prepared his joint. Victoria came bouncing in like a tidal wave - her usual fashion - and crashing into the others already sitting down. As soon as Damiano was happy with his creation, she snatched it out of his hand, making short work of lighting it and taking a drag.

“Hey, that was mine!”

“Make another one,” she grinned, obnoxiously blowing the smoke into his face. Rolling his eyes, Damiano quickly prepared another one for himself, everyone now happy and content with their smokes, until only Y/n was left holding at a glass of water.

She preferred to observe the scene from her little advantage point in the corner like she so often did. The mellow music in the background was loud enough to underline the atmosphere but quiet enough to easily talk to everyone around you without having to shout. She liked this much better than loud bars in the evening. Most people were minding their own business, in small groups or pairs, some on their own. Victoria was quick to start chatting to a pair of girls sitting at the table next to them. She wasn’t going to lie - while not her usual spot, she didn’t exactly feel uncomfortable.

A hand appeared in front of her face, seemingly out of nowhere, and it took her a second to realise it was Damiano, trying to pass her his joint. She hesitated - still not convinced whether she should be smoking at all, but one look into his eyes only proved to her that she was weak to his suggestions. Parting her lips ever so slightly, she let him push the blunt between them, his fingertips grazing her. She took a drag, careful not to breathe in too much too quickly, before releasing the joint. Damiano pulled it back towards himself immediately, putting it back between his own lips, and she felt hypnotised. The moment came to an abrupt end when a cough took hold of her.

“Easy, easy,” Ethan soothed from the other side, his hand on her upper back. “Breathe.”

Everyone around the table seemed to be looking at her now, but she quickly got her composure back, holding up her hands in a gesture that was meant to signal she was fine.

“Fuck,” Y/n choked, taking a drink from her glass to wet her throat. “This is why I don’t smoke.”

“Wrong,” Thomas threw in. “This is because you don’t smoke!”

Y/n shook her head, giggling at the guitarist and the know-it-all look in his eyes.

“Up to try again?” Damiano whispered in her ear as the attention had finally ceased to be on her. She found herself staring into his eyes once again, a fluttery feeling erupting in her stomach at having him watch her so intently, at being able to capture his attention so easily.

The look on his face was enough to get her to try again. And again. And again.

She couldn’t tell how much time had passed, but for once, she genuinely didn’t care. The people around them had changed, old ones leaving, new ones arriving, but the music stayed the same. She wasn’t quite sure what the joke Thomas was telling them was about, but she found herself giggling along nonetheless. This was the best she had felt in forever.

Unaware of what she was doing, she leaned back, finding Damiano’s arms carefully wrapping around her, holding her softly. To her own surprise, she was sinking into him.

“Having fun?” He asked in a voice so low she barely heard it. A voice so soft it made her heart melt. She nodded, slightly twisting around in his embrace to look at him again. She couldn’t get enough of his face. She’d stay and study it for all of eternity if he let her.

"Have you ever seen brown zircon?” She suddenly asked out of nowhere. “It's a gemstone that looks like they made sparkly salted caramel bonbons from rock. They mine it in Tanzania, I think? Your eyes sparkle just like that." She grinned at the man beside her. "I can attest to that from this angle at least. It’s like the one scene in Aladdin! 'She's got these eyes, and this hair and…’ Ah oh god, what am I doing?" She couldn’t help but laugh at how ridiculous she was being. She found her face resting on his shoulder, completely content. His eyes never wavered from her face, listening closely to what she had to say.

Then Y/n watched her hand brush Damiano’s hair to the front, attempting to style it in a slightly different way. “Did you mean to look like Eren Yeager or was that some sort of subconscious coincidence? Not that it doesn’t look good, of course.”

“You watch Attack on Titan?” Dami looked down at her with surprise.

“No I don’t, but my friends do. So you learn the names of the people they yell at through the TV screen very quickly,” she laughed, remembering the way her friends would huddle in the living room, shouting at whatever the characters were doing wrong in their opinion.

“The more I get to know you, the more I’m convinced you’re my kinda woman, you know?” he mumbled, a smile grazing his lips. The more she looked at him, the more she felt her brain shutting off and her heart taking over. Or was it the high? She wasn’t interested in trying to differentiate.

Once again, he pushed the joint between her lips, holding the eye contact and it felt so much more intimate than it should have. It felt like her nerves were on fire. When he pulled his hand back again, she wanted to grab onto it, keep him in place, keep the moment.

I could stay in this forever, Y/n thought to herself.

"Also, I'm not religious by any means, but whatever God was responsible for creating you sure took their sweet time doing it…" The words spilled from her mouth before she realized she was talking, eyes flicking back and forth between his. "You know?"

She caught herself looking at his lips. A small blush grew on her face as she looked away. Staring out into the room, out at the people sitting next to them at other tables. Something distracting to take the rising heat off.

***

Damiano could feel his defenses wearing away. All ideas of staying away completely vanished into the smoke that lulled them in as he was holding her in his arms, her back leaning against his chest. He could feel her breathing, giggling at nothing at all, or maybe something Victoria had said but he hadn’t heard.

“If anyone’s been made by the angels, it’s you, amore,” he mumbled more to himself than anything, but she had heard him. Another chuckle running through her body. The atmosphere was fogging up his brain. He watched in amusement as he let a finger run up her arms, from her wrist to her upper arm where the fabric of her shirt began, and goosebumps appeared as if standing tall in a row. He tried it again on the other arm, getting the same result.

“What are you doing?”

She was turning around in his arms, just enough to look at him without removing herself from his embrace. He wondered if it was the dim light or if she was always this radiant. His hands travelled to the elastic that was holding her hair together and carefully removed it, eyes on her. Her hair fell around her face, framing it beautifully in its typically wild manner.

“I…” Her eyes seemed to twinkle as the light of the bar reflected back at him through them. “I don’t know.”

He looked away, suddenly insecure. What was he doing? He wasn’t sure. All he knew was that he couldn’t keep his hands off her, now less than ever. He wanted her. Wanted her all to himself. Wanted to keep holding her like this forever. There was no denying that.

“You’re sweet.”

Her voice took a second to get through to him, but as it did, he turned his head as if in slow motion. All he had wanted to do was look at her again, but that wasn’t what happened. Instead, her lips were on his.

***

All Y/n had done was lean forward to press a kiss against his cheek. Now their lips were meeting and she didn’t know how she had gotten there. She wanted to pull back - no, actually she didn’t. But she thought she should. Though the spirit was willin - to pull away, that was -, the flesh was weak. Delving deeper into his arms, she found herself kissing him like she meant it. Her hands found his chest, feeling the rising heat from his skin. Being closer to him than ever before was driving her crazy. His soft, warm lips against hers. Just the tiniest movements, as if he was afraid of breaking her. She let herself enjoy it. For a moment. That was all her brain allowed before switching back to the rational part. She pulled back in surprise.

She moved out of his embrace, stiffening at the contact. All of the twinkling lights of romance that had just appeared around them now popped as the kiss ended.

I just kissed my boss. I just fucking went and kissed Damiano! I am so, so fucked.

Yet, she couldn't deny that she wanted to kiss him again. And again, and again until they ran out of air to breathe. She looked back at him and the expression on his face said it all. His lids lowered, a small smile appearing on his face. Eyes twinkling in the soft light. He hadn’t wanted the kiss to end either. Either that or the weed was affecting him more than she had thought.

But as cold air started to seep in between them he blinked a couple of times, only now noticing that she had pulled away.

"Sorry - about that. I was trying to- I wasn't trying to kiss you. Well, I was - but not on the mouth. That would have been very forward of me. I would never. That's not me. I don't know how that happened - sorry." Y/n rambled on, unable to stop talking.

Damiano smirked, pecking her cheek. "Y/n, it's fine, you're fine. I turned my head and we kissed. It happens." He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. As if this was some sort of common occurrence. As if she was panicking for nothing. Was she?

***

Damiano desperately tried to hide the turmoil inside of him. It happens?! Damiano, what the hell are you thinking! Not the right thing to say in this situation! Now it just looks like you’d kiss anyone, great. He looked down at his hands, fumbling with his rings. Trying to get his breathing back under control. He needed to be cool.

"I mean - not that I didn't enjoy it. You kiss good!"

You kiss good? What the? That wasn’t even English. He was well and truly losing his mind.

***

Y/n took a deep breath, sitting back in her seat, making sure not to be as close to Damiano as she had been before. Victoria and Thomas had migrated to get more drinks and Ethan was deeply entrenched in some conversation with a man next to him. Luckily the rest of the band hadn't seen what just happened. Grabbing her glass once more, the cold wet condensation gave a stark contrast to her warm skin.

The kiss still left a tingly feeling on her lips. Quickly looking at Damiano, she met his eyes. He had not looked away yet, it seemed. She watched as he bit his lip in contemplation. Whatever was playing on his mind, Y/n didn't know. His words left her believing he wasn’t quite as put together as he tried to pretend. He certainly wasn’t making much sense. Although, she wouldn’t dismiss his compliment of her kissing abilities. She wondered if he would think similarly if they did it again, or did more than that…

Her wandering thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a loud crash. The culprit was quickly spotted. The middle of the coffeeshop, which had been empty of people until then, now had Thomas lying on his front, surrounded by liquid and broken glass.

Y/n didn’t hesitate, jumping up to offer her aid. The worry only lasted for a second though, until Thomas turned on his back, giggling maniacally. She barely managed to kick some shards out of the way before he could roll onto them.

She let out a deep sigh at the state of the guitarist, before quickly apologizing to the people at the bar.

“Everyone help me grab Thomas, I think this is our sign to call it a night.”

***

Y/n thought she’d have an easy time going to sleep. The effects of the joint were lingering, plus, the day had just been plain exhausting. Yet, as her head hit the pillow, she felt restless. Her mind kept circling around Damiano. The way he had looked at her. The way he had looked in general. She had seen him basically naked at this point, but she still thought about how it would be different up close and personal. She wished she had been able to read his eyes more. Had he been thinking about the same things she had? Had he wanted to kiss her again and again, get lost in that bubbling excitement of finally being close, finally let his hands wander to new places? She wanted to pull his hair. See what kind of sound would leave his mouth when doing so.

She wanted his hands and his lips, all of him really, badly. She wanted to know what he felt like when he really kissed her. What his fingers would be able to do to her. Biting and moaning. She desperately needed some release, wishing it would come from him, but knowing there was no chance, at least not tonight. Her hand wandered between her legs as she let her mind run wild. Imagining it was him instead, letting his fingers run along the inside of her thighs, exploring every inch of her. How he would treat her just right, hit all the right spots, do so much better than her own fingers ever could. The words he’d whisper in her ear, seducing her with his mother tongue, breath fanning her skin. How he would kiss her senseless. Feeling the rhythm of their bodies take over. Watch his tattoos start to glisten with a sheen of sweat from what they would be doing.

She found her release almost embarrassingly quickly, burying her face in her pillow. Her body felt more at ease, although her heart was still craving something more. She had almost calmed down, getting her breathing back under control. In a moment of clarity, she checked her phone to see when she had to wake up the next day, when the sound of a moan caught her attention. One that definitely wasn’t her own, but seemed to come from the room next door.

Damiano’s room.

#maneskin fiction #damiano david imagine #damiano david x you #damiano david x reader #damiano david fiction #maneskin imagine #maneskin x you #maneskin x reader #quiet music #bethanysnow #mywriting

[snootsnoot-fiction]

I Heart You

Pairing: Denny Duquette x reader

Warnings: Mention of death, reference to sex (this was meant to be an aftercare fic but turned into general fluff mostly)

A/n: This is another birthday gif for @lemonboy-milo​ its officially been a year since i wrote my first ever fic as well, all for this gay boi, I hope your day is as good as can be

Summary: Denny can finally really look after you since his surgery...

It had been a long, and difficult few months to say the least. A heart transplant was no small feet. Nor was everything that came after. There was always a chance of the host body rejecting a new organ.

You were scared for weeks after Denny’s operation. You were more than grateful for his second chance of course - he was almost at the end of his rope on life before receiving this heart - but you were also way too aware that things could be snatched away when you least expect it.

Needless to say, no matter how strong you tried to stay for your man, it was you that ended up needing most comfort. Denny, as much as he hated the idea of leaving you, had personally made peace long ago with the strong possibility of death. 

You had your moments of course. Moments when visiting in the hospital where you would be stronger than ever. It broke you to see him as he was, but you loved him with everything you had. So long as Denny Duquette was alive, you were okay. He was fighting for you, it was only fair you fought for him too.

After the transplant operation, Doctor Burke had gone over what was to come with you and Denny. The average recovery from a heart transplant was at least six months. So, when the man was finally able to go home a few weeks later, you took time off work to make sure you could do anything and everything for him at such a pivotal time. He was no longer in the hospital, and you didn’t want to take any chances.

Denny Duquette tried to get you to relax at times. Of course, he wouldn’t always succeed, but whenever he did, he made sure to promise to not do much. The amount you cared for him and his healing was something he would absolutely never take advantage of. Plus, the sooner he recovered, the better.

The man hated not being able to look after you. That was his one job in life - make sure you were alright. In all the events that occurred thanks to his bad heart, however, he had eventually learnt that taking care of himself was taking care of you. Naturally, he still had his bad times, but it was all worth it to prolong your life together, and keep you happy. 

You had met Denny at the Seattle Grace hospital. He had struck up a conversation while the both of you were waiting in line at the coffee cart. His heart problems were mentioned, and ever since then you had been worried about him and anything relating to his heart. The man even gave you his coffee so you didn’t have to buy one after you expressed concern. 

The two of you had been in intimate situations before, but never full on intercourse. As much as you wanted it at times, not only were you scared about his heart, but you were shy. All that mattered to Denny was that you were comfortable and okay. ‘When you’re ready darlin’ he would say. When his heart got worse and he got his new one, you would suggest you’d be ready when he was fully recovered, but he’d always gently turn you down, insisting you had to be ready. To be comfortable. To truly want it.

That being said, it happened so naturally. It was perfect and everything you could have imagined and more. It had been about seven months since the surgery, and the man wanted to treat you. The perfect indoor date, just the two of you. He went all out, even pretending to drop you off back home at the bedroom door. It was in that moment, as you looked into his loving eyes, emotion swelled up inside you like a hurricane. Before you knew it, you had pulled him in for a passionate kiss. 

The rest, as they say, was history. At least it was up until now. You were laying in Denny’s arms, completely naked and content for the first time in your life. All your worries, in this moment, were nowhere to be found as this man held you to his bare chest. 

“How’s my Y/N?” He asked softly as his thumb rubbed circles into your arm and he placed a kiss upon your head.

“Mmm great…” You murmured softly as you watched your own hand just sitting on his torso. “How are you?” You asked after a few moments, looking up at him. He knew you were thinking about his heart.

“I’m fine baby,” he spoke with a smile as he lifted one hand to cup your face, “more than fine. I love you so much dollface.” His words made you blush and you began to look away, but he gently grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger, making you look at him again. “You’ve done so much for me this past year.. I am more than thankful for that.” All you could do was smile shyly and blush harder. He simply chuckled. 

“What are you doing?” You whimpered when Denny slowly started to move.

“I’m looking after you.” He stated matter-of-factly as he gently laid you back down and stood up from the bed, pulling his underwear back on. “Uh- no no no!” The words came out firmly as he leaned over to press a hand to your shoulder when you started to move.

“I should be looking after you…” You pouted at him.

“Baby doll you need to relax okay?” His hand moved to cup your cheek again. “You have been looking after me since we first met, let me really look after you for once, yeah?” He waited, not wanting to let you get up. You could see the seriousness in his eyes. The love and desire to be his normal self again.

“Okay..” you eventually managed to mumble as you laid back as you were. Smiling, Denny’s hand brushed down your arm, grabbed your hand, and pulled it up to his lips for a kiss. His eyes sparkling with happiness as he looked at you.

After another moment, the man let go as he grabbed the sheets to pull them over your nude form. You grabbed the sheets eagerly, hugging them up to your chin.

“You need anything?” He questioned as he stood straight again.

“Just you.. cuddles..” your words made him chuckle softly.

“Is my baby thirsty?” The man gave you a firm look, making you nod ever so slightly. “I’ll just get you some water, okay? Then we can cuddle.” 

You listened to the sound of his footsteps and the clink of glasses as he retrieved one from the cupboard. A grin creeped on your face as the seconds passed and you expected him to walk back in. The tiniest squeal left you when he reappeared, causing the widest smile yet to spread across his face and yet another blush to spread across yours.

“Here.” Denny moved to sit on his side of the bed before handing you the glass. He watched as you downed the water. “Very thirsty.” He commented as you placed the glass on the bedside table. You wasted no time in holding up the bed sheets and patting his spot, silently commanding him to now cuddle. “So impatient!” The man chuckled again as he slid under the covers with you.

Instead of cuddling right away, he laid on his side facing you, grabbing your hands and holding them to his chin. 

“How did I ever get so lucky huh?” Letting one of his hands go, Denny stroked your hair with such affection you could have melted and fallen into a puddle on the floor. 

“I don’t know..” you squirmed slightly, not used to someone caring for you like the man in front of you did.

“C’mere…” Letting go of your hands, he opened his arms. You squealed excitedly again, causing him to chuckle, as you turned around and wiggled back into him. Little spoon that you were. His arms closed tightly around you as he pulled you further into him as he breathed in your scent and let out a long, satisfied sigh. 

“Y/N… I dont think you know just how much I appreciate everything you have done for me, especially over these last few months,” he whispered into your ear. You could hear everything he felt hanging on his every word. “I haven’t been able to look after you as well as I would’ve liked, but now with this new heart, I can do that and love you twice as hard as I ever did.. So I hope you know what you’ve gotten yourself in for darlin’.” He nuzzled his face into the back of your neck.

“I love you too Denny baby.” Your words portrayed how soft he had made you feel. This man, who was unable to be the man he usually was for so long, had every intention of looking after you in every sense. You stuck with him all this time, helped him through all the bad, and now he was back to full strength, he was going to do the exact same for his precious baby doll. 

#Jeffrey Dean Morgan #denny duquette #jdm #greys anatomy #denny x reader #denny duquette fluff #jdm fluff #birthday present #aftercare

[fixielixie]

look i never thought when i first created a tumblr account back when i was like 13 that id ever reach the point where i would be sitting down to make a post on how a fictional character being a DomTop and indulging his partners noncon kink does /not/ somehow destroy his characterisation but here i am.

so the incense burner chapters... admittedly, i can understand why theyre not to everyones taste but ive seen some wild takes on how it "destroys lwjs characterisation and boils him down to a stereotypical top" and tbh i just wanna defend lwj.

as a disclaimer, i just wanna say that personally, i think porn is one of the hardest things to translate well. like porn is already so hard to write well in the first place, so having it go through a translator is always gonna change the quality. so i feel like we should all take that into account before we start the whole "mxtx cant write porn" shit, because maybe her porn slaps but we arent getting the full experience (if any chinese speakers out there who've read the incense burner chapters in chinese wanna correct me on that, feel free to do so).

okay so the first point i wanna hit is that wwx, in contrast to popular belief, had stated his interest in CNC before the incense burner chapters even happen (i would nearly say that him bringing it up might have influence lwjs subconscious in a way). in chapter 115, wwx has a clear fantasy of what he thinks rape play should be, and tries first to insinuate it with lwj. when lwj makes no interest in being the reciever here, wwx offers himself up to which lwj enthusiastically responds.

what this scene does is basically set up a roleplay scene between two consenting parties that they eventually follow through with. an almost foreshadowing of whats to come if you will.

then we have the first incense burner dream. here we see two different vision, wwxs domestic haven and then lwjs fantasy of him and wwx in the library. now, to be fair, lwjs dream is told in a lot of detail and if youre anyway uncomfortable with noncon at all, of course you would find this a very uncomfortable read. to wwx and lwj its just a fantasy, in the same way that when wx first had sex, wwx told him that he should have just forced himself on him in the first place. its clearly a concept wwx in particular thinks a lot about.

but my point here is that lan wangji fantasising about something like this doesnt destroy his character, for the direct narrative sequence it follows, it actually makes sense that he was fantasising about this. especially when so much of wangxians sex dynamic is wwx pushing and prodding at lwjs restraint until he snaps. its clearly a dynamic they both enjoy and eagerly participate in. anyone is perfectly within their right to not like these chapters, but it also probably means you dont like wangxians sex scenes in general considering nearly all of them hold a similar tone, just not as intensely as the ones in the incense burners.

in the second incense burner chapter with a young lan wangji and an older wei wuxian, you actually see wangxian doing the bare minimum of setting up a cnc scene. wwx teases a younger lwj, unsure if its his one of just a dream one like the pervious dream. he wakes up and finds out lwj was actually playing the role of his younger self. both of them with that knowledge enter the dream a second time and then we have the infamous bichen scene.

idk i just feel like people want to make these moments into something theyre not. personally i think wangxians bedroom dynamic fits them perfectly, gay men are allowed to like topping without it being some hidden hate crime. let wangxian do their cringey role play and be freaky. god bless.

#mdzs #wangxian #incense burner chapters

[littlx-songbxrd]

Chain of Iron:Death theory

As the awaited release date for Chain of Iron approaches and the fandom decends into pure madness, I want to put in my last two cents of overthinking before I stop having coherent thoughts

So we all know this is a second book, and second books bring the absolute pain in the shadowhunter chronicles. There is likely going to be a death from the mains considering the theme of this book, and I am here to throw my theory and reasons as to who I think it might be. Im here to sadly theorize about why I think Christopher Lightwood might not make it past the last hours

1. Tatianas revenge

Right now, Tatiana wants revenge after all our main families: the carstairs, herondales, fairchilds and both branches of the lightwoods. For the lightwood-collins theres barbaras death. For the herondales her daughter has been manipulating their son for over 6 years. Theres a theory that the fairy poison Mathew bought that caused Charlottes misscarriage could be traced back to her. And there are other theories that Elias dissaperance between chog and choi could have something to do with Belial. As of right now the only family who is yet to recieve any permanent damage or tragedy are the lightwood-herondales. Which is really ironic considering its the only family that has two bloodlines Tatiana wants to harm. Not only that, but theyre also the children of who Tatiana blames directly for her fathers death, Gabriel. It seems fishy to me there hasn't been any permanent damage in their family, and I dont think that is gonna last for long

2. The family tree

The family tree states that Grace Cartwright (Aka Grace Blackthorn) marries Christopher Lightwood and theyre the ones who continue the line that leads to Alec and Isabelle. Now Cassandra has said varius times the family tree can be misleading, and I am a firm believer this is one of the misleading ends. Why this lie was created, I'm not sure, but lets analize some things. As of right now there are 5 lightwood children. At least 3 of them can pass down the lightwood name. Of those three, if we take into account that Thomas may not have kids due to being gay, that still leaves two branches of lightwood kids that may continue on. As of present time we only have word of one line, Alec and Isabelles. And Robert isnt said to have any cousins, theres no mention in the future of another lightwood line. So the idea that both Alexander and Christopher have kids is pretty unbelivable considering theres only one lightwood line in the future. Unless Alexander goes on to have only girls and Christopher has only one boy, it seems more likely the family tree is wrong. Isabelle and Alec are confirmed as of the bane chronicles to be decendants of Gabriel lightwood (Isabelle makes a reference to looking up her great great grandfather Gabriel Lightwood and telling magnus he was hot in the last story of the book)

So its already confirmed they're a) the last decendants of the lightwood line and b) that line stems from Gabriel. If we based ourselves solely on the family tree and Christopher being the one carrying the line, that would have been believable enough not to raise any red flags. Christopher IS the son of Grabriel Lightwood, able bodied and seems to have a general attraction to women (I mean, we all know hes aro/ace but lets stick with canon). There isnt anything pointing to him not being able to marry and have kids. Where the red flags raise for me is with Alexander

Alexander wasnt in the original plans for the family tree, he was added when Cassie started writting the last hours. If you take into account his role in chog, there really was no reason to add Alexander Lightwood. He doesnt seem to do anything, hes a 3 year old kid, you can very well delete him from the narrative and nothing would change. So why did Cassandra add him?? Why did she decide to make Cecily and Gabriel have another kid ?

To me, it seems a lot like the baby carstairs situation . The family tree says Alastair carries the carstairs line, Alastair is a gay man so he cant have biological kids, theres another unplaned baby to carry the line. It seems to me Christopher carrying the lightwood line is a lie, and Alexanders role is to carry it in his place. I even found a little info from an ask wayy before chain of gold came out where it said Alexander had green eyes, but in the book she changed it to blue eyes. The exact same shade the modern day lightwoods seem to have. A trait hes more likely to pass down than his lavender eyed brother who supposedly "marries" grey eyed grace

3. Character Arc

Characters in literature need goals, things to work for or work towards through the story in order for them to develop. We call those things character arcs, and it seems we have all ignored how christophers may have indirectly ended. If you read his short story, or just overall analize his character, his main goal is simple. He wants to create something that will help the nephlim through science. His personal character arc is that he wants to prove himself and his skill to the clave using his passion to be a hero.

An arc that could have been expanded all through the series, and ended with him using his skills in the end to defeat belial in some way, proving his passions worth. Through the story we could have had a glimpse at his struggles, how he was put down, the failed attempts, fustrations etc. This all could have rounded christopher as a character, and brought more satisfaction to the end goal of his arc which is proving the value of his science. But instead, his arc in book seemingly already ended? Because he did it, he figured out a way to combine science with his duty and saved the entire enclave from the demon poison. He is now acclaimed a hero for his skills. All the other characters have things to finish going into chain of iron, Christopher doesnt. Why would she end an arc that could have taken through the entire series in just one book? Christopher is the only secondary character with a defined personality and a lack of arc to look foward too in following books. This could all point that his arc was rushed because it was being cut short

4. Lightwood blood

There has been a lot of theories going around about Thomas being the one who gets killed in this book, which is resonable considering the unerving amount of forehsadowing we've had to him getting himself caught up in something. But I raise you this, why would CC be giving us so much assurance that Thomas was going to get hurt if she was going to kill him? Not only would she be reaveling one of her most devastating murders, she would basically be spoiling a very big part of her own book. Thomas death would affect everyone, if she WERE to kill him she wouldnt be indulging us in our Thomas death theory as much as she has. Itd be too expectable, I actually believe that by giving us all the info she has she has more or less confirmed he wont die.

I believe this is all a decoy. Shes giving us foreshadowing towards something bad happening to Thomas, to cover up the very big reality shes planning to kill someone else. Theres a very big chance that for the resurection, theyre gonna need Jesses families blood. Same way Malcom needed blackthorn blood to raise Annabel. As of rightnow there arent any blackthorns (by blood) left alive, the only blood relatives Jesse still had are the lightwoods. So we already know Thomas gets captured by the murderer (referenece to the art), but it is most likely he gets rescued. People speculate he most likely got captured for the resurection Tatianas trying to do, because of his lightwood blood. But if Thomas escapes, Tatiana still needs her families blood. And I'd like to point out this is also where the fact she hasnt taken permanent revenge on the lightwood-herondales would come in. Theres a good chance that if the murders are releated to her, and she cant have Thomas, she wont stop at just Thomas.

5. Story relevance

In all sense of story, Christopher is the perfect candidate to kill. As hard as that is to say: he's a secondary character, who has a well defined personality, loved enough by the fans that there would certainly be a shock factor following his death, important enough to the story that there would be a big impact to the narrative, and interwined enough with the main characters to cause emotional distress in the story. His arc is indirectly done, this author has a history of killing lightwoods, there isnt much to discourage the possibility he might be killed besides the faulty family tree. And as I said, that tree has been stated multiple times to be misleading

Bonus prove

6. Christophers cut-out

Same way were analizing the hell out of a broken spear, why are we not talking about the skull on christophers?

(Sorry couldnt get better quality pics)

The truth is, I hate this theory as much as everyone, Im genuinly hoping chain of iron proves me wrong. But there are 5 deaths comming, and not all of them can be side characters. Cordelia Lucie and James all have main character protection. I already explained why Thomas dying is unlikely. Anna, Ariadne and Alastair have gay protection (and I think some asks about Alastair dying were pretty much answered with a discreet no)

If there are mains dying, Christophers the most likely to go

#Trust me I hate this as much as everyone does #CHRISTOPHERS MY FAVORITE LIKE DO YOU THINK I WANT HIM TO DIE- #BUT IT MAKES SENSE #AND I HATE IT #tlh #tsc #chain of iron #chain of gold #the last hours #cassandra clare #chain of thorns #choi #christopher lightwood #lightwoods #chain of iron theories #the last hours rant #the last hours theory #tatiana blackthorn #belial #gabriel lightwood #cecily lightwood #tw: death #theories

[leedosbunnyboy]

Yang Hongseok; Wallace In Wonderland

Table of Contents | Chapter 1

Warning(s): cursing, death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, mention of self harm scars, pills, mentions of rape

♤•♡•◇•♧•♤•♡•◇•♧•♤•♡•◇•♧•♤•♡•

"Levantate mijo, you have to get to school."

"Mom, I'm 20. I'm going to college, not the 1st grade." I explained to my mom.

"Yeah, 20 and can't wake himself up, apurale." My mom chided as she made her exit.

I laugh at her joke and get up.

Wish those times could've lasted.

"Ma, did you take your medicine?" I asked her.

"Yes mijo." She said and showed me her pack of pills, the required daily amount missing.

"Okay, I have to go, love you." I say and peck her cheek on my way out.

Wish I could've spent more time with her.

"Where is she?!" I asked as I rushed into the hospital.

"She's in there, but..." The doctor trailed off.

"But what?!"

"The cancer has spread. We thought it would stay in her chest, but it's moved to her brain." The doctor hesitates to finish his sentence.

"She's not gonna make it." He states.

I only nod and head into her room.

"Ma...?" My voice cracked as I quietly called out for her.

"I'm sorry mijo." She sadly said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked as I sat in the chair next to her bed.

"I didn't want to worry you." She said.

"Well now I'm even more worried." I sob to her.

"Don't cry." She weakly reaches out and wipes my tears.

"How am I supposed to not cry? How am I supposed to go on without you?" I wept.

"You'll manage. You're my son, I raised you strong." She said.

"But if you still need something to remember me, here." She handed me a small necklace with a playing card embroidered on the charm.

"What is this?" I ask her.

"A token." She simply said.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked again.

"It'll help you make some new friends to take care of you." She said.

"Mom, what do you mean? You're making no sense." I tell her.

"You'll know soon-." Her sentence was cut off by a fit of coughs as sirens began to ring.

"Mom, don't go!" I cried as I knew what was happening.

Doctors ran in and two pulled me away from her.

"Sir, we're sorry." One said as we had made our way outside the room.

♤•♡•One Month Later•◇•♧

I sadly look at the charm while thinking about what she meant.

"I'll know soon my ass." I say and throw it af the wall.

The only thing that accomplished was add more mess to my disheveled apartment.

Packs of ramen and mazapan litter my floor.

Along with the wrappers, a bottle of pills stands out to me.

"Maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea." I think.

I stand up and grab the bottle.

I open the cap and pop a few into my hand.

"Don't hesitate. Don't think about yourself you selfish bitch. Don't you wanna see mom?" A small voice says in my head.

I sigh and return the pills to their container.

I think back to what she had told me; "You'll manage. You're my son, I raised you strong."

I head to my kitchen and decide to finally eat for once.

I roll up my sleeves and I'm meet with dozens of cuts decorating my arms.

I put it off and start boiling water for the ramen.

Once I'm done, I add the ramen and just sit around waiting for that to cook.

"Just take the damn pills. You know you've got nothing left to live for. You dropped out of school, cut off all your friends, and lost the last family member you had." It continued to pester me.

I ignored it to the best of my ability and turned off the stove as the ramen has finished.

I stared at the bowl of fresh noodles and began to realize how unappealing it seemed to be.

I tossed the ramen and made my way back to my room.

I picked up the bottle of pills and hurriedly opened it.

I took as many pills as my hand could fit and quickly swallowed them.

Before drowsiness could overwhelm me, I noticed the charm shining amidst the clutter of mess.

I picked it up and laid down in bed.

I smiled contentedly and let the feeling of sleep wash over me.

♤•♡•◇•♧•♤•♡•◇•♧•♤•♡•◇•♧•♤•♡•

"He's waking up!"

"Shh, you'll startle him."

"Says the giant."

I wake up to the sight of three guys looking at me curiously.

"Umm... Hi?" One says.

"Hi?" I says and begin to observe my surroundings.

Everything is brightly colored and I spot... flowers singing?

"Where the fuck am I?" I blurt out.

"What do you mean?" The tall boy asks.

"I mean, where am I. What is this place?" I rephrase.

"Wonderland; where else would you be?" The boy with blue hair answers.

"Wonderland?" I ask in shock.

"Well yeah, what kind of places have you been to?" The tall boy asks.

"No, you've got to be fucking with me." I defensively say.

"How would we be 'fucking with you'?" A short man with a top hat says.

"Wonderland isn't real. It's just some place my mom made up to tell me stories as a kid." I exclaim.

"Well, I don't know what your mom's told you, but Wonderland is real." The top hat man says.

"Say, don't you think he looks like Auntie Lupita?" The tall boy asks.

"Now that you say it, yeah." The blue haired boy says.

"How do you know Lupita?" I ask them.

"She used to visit us and take care of us when we were little." Blue haired boy says.

"How do you know Lupita?" Top hat man counters.

"She's- was my mother." I retract my original statement.

"Woah, really?!" Tall boy says.

"Come to think of it, Auntie did always tells us about her 'original world', but I always thought she was just telling tall tales." Blue boy says.

"You don't think this boy's Lupita's son from some other world?" Top hat asks.

"I mean, it would be the only logical solution. He did kinda fall from the sky." Tall boy says.

"What's your name kid?" Top hat asks.

"(M/n)." I answer.

"Well I'm Jinho." The top hat answers.

"I'm Yan An." Blue boy asks.

"And I'm Wooseok." The tall boy answers.

"I must be insane. I'm talking to the Mad Hatter, March Hare, and Dorm Mouse." I quietly exclaim.

"Who?" Wooseok asks.

"Nevermind. Do you guys know a way out of here?" I ask them.

"Sorry, but no. We don't even know how you got here." Jinho says.

"Would you like to come with us since you don't have anywhere to go?" Wooseok offers.

I stare into space conflicted.

Yes, I dont know them, and they could possibly just be rapists luring me into some trap.

But that wouldn't explain how they know mom, and I'm assuming this is what her cryptic last words meant.

"Okay." I sigh.

"Yay!" Wooseok and Yan An cheer.

"Come on (M/n)!" Yan An says and takes my hand as we make our way on a blue and pink road.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To Hui's house." Yan An explains.

"You'll meet him soon." Jinho says, already sensing my confusion.

I nod and we continue on our way towards this Hui's house.

"(M/n), may I ask you a question?" Wooseok asks.

"You kinda already did, but yes." I respond.

"You don't seem like the standard Korean I've met, are you foreign?" He asks.

"Kinda, my dad was Korean and my mom was Hispanic, but I've lived in Korea all my life." I explain to him.

"What's Korea like? Lupita always told us about it, but I just assumed it wasn't real." Yan An asks.

"It's like a little slice of Heaven. Does it have many flaws, yes. But I wouldn't want to live anywhere else." I tell them.

"What do you mean flaws?" Wooseok curiously asks.

"Well, as someone who's mixed, I do face alot of racism. And the fact that I'm gay doesn't really do me any favors." I tell them.

"Well you wont have to worry about that here. Everything is inclusive, and I dont think I've ever met a straight person." Yan An says.

I laugh at his last statement before my gaze lies upon a house made out of a giant mushroom.

"We're here." Jinho says.

He knocks on the door and a man holding a cigar answers.

"Jinho. Did you guys find out what that thing that fell out of the sky was?" Hui asks, colorful smoke leaving his lips.

"Yeah, it was just some kid who says he's from Auntie's world." Jinho explains.

"He also Auntie's son!" Wooseok announces.

"This kid's Lupita's son?" Hui asks.

"Apparently." Jinho sighs.

"Come in. I'll call everyone else." Hui says and invites us in.

His home is decorated with small trinkets and pastel wallpaper.

My eyes are attracted to a tea set used as a centerpiece in his kitchen.

"It's a beautiful set isn't it?" Hui asks me, obviously noticing my admiration.

"It really is." I say.

"Chamomile or Jasmine?" He offers.

"Jasmine please." I tell him, and he heads to start the brew.

He finishes quickly and comes back with a cup of tea.

"Here you go." He hands it to me.

"Hey! I want tea too!" Yan An whines.

"I only offered it to...?"

"(M/n)." I tell him.

"Only for (M/n) since he's my guest. You come here to leech off me every day." Hui scolds him.

Yan An sits and pouts.

"It's amazing." I say after I took my first sip.

"I do pride myself on my tea making." Hui smirks.

Once I finished I brought it to the sink.

"(M/n) there's no need. I could do it for you." Hui offers.

"It's fine really. My mom always told me to clean up after myself." I say and begin delicately cleaning the teacup.

A knock on the door grabs everyone's attention.

"They must be here." Jinho says and heads to open the door.

Four men step inside, each continuing to fit the the descriptions of the characters my mom told me about.

"So this is the mystery boy everyone's talking about." A man resembling the White Rabbit offers me his hand.

"The name's Kino, pleasure to meet you." He says and kisses my hand.

"Hi, I'm Yuto." A deep voiced man greets me.

"And I'm Shinwon." A rapsy voiced man greets me next.

I assumed that these two were the twins Tweedledee and Tweedledum.

"I'm Hongseok." A man with cat eyes shakes my hand.

"And you are?" The Cheshire man asks.

"I'm (M/n)." I tell him.

"So this is the guy who fell out of the sky?" Kino asks.

"Yeah, he's also Auntie's son." Jinho says.

"Wow!" Yuto and Shinwon exclaim.

"You mean he's from the 'other world' Auntie always told us about?" Hongseok asks.

I nod.

"And I'd really like to return there." I say.

"Well, lucky for you darling. I happen to know a way out." Kino says.

"Really?!" I exclaim. Feeling excited for the first time in a while.

"I hate to inform you that it won't be an easy trip though." He continues.

"I don't care. Anything to get home." I say.

"I don't mean difficult as in a tiring trip. I mean, it's possible you won't make it." Kino sadly says.

"Then I'll be willing to make that sacrifice." I boldly state.

"With that kind of determination, he's definitely Auntie's kid." Hui says

"Well come on darling, and we'll begin our journey." Kino holds his hand out for me.

I take it, and we're about to exit when..

"Where do you two think you're going... without us?" Wooseok asks.

All of them nod in agreement and stand up.

"Why are all of you so eager to help me?" I ask.

"Because your mother gave us so much, and while we never got to directly pay her back. We're gonna make sure to repay her by helping you." Yuto says.

I nod and make my way outside.

"Hold your horses kid!" Shinwon exclaims.

"Yes?" I ask.

"Calm down kid. Let us prepare and we'll start our journey tomorrow." Jinho says.

I nod in acknowledgment head back inside.

"Where will I be staying?" I ask.

"That... is a good question." Hui pauses to think.

"He can stay with me." Hongseok blurts out.

"Would you be fine with that?" Hui asks.

"As long as Hongseok is." I say.

"Alright, head to bed everyone. We'll sleep early to get a head start on our journey." Hui says, and everyone heads to their respective rooms.

"Come on." Hongseok says and grabs my hand.

We step in, and I admire the violet and magenta aesthetic of his room.

"You don't have to worry about anything. I'll take the couch." He says and begins to set up the couch.

"Thank you for this." I say.

"You don't have to thank me. I honestly see this as an obligation." Hongseok says.

"What do you mean?" I ask him.

"Although everyone else had a nice relationship with Auntie, I always distanced myself. I was always quiet as a kid, but I also didn't want to just accept her into my life so easily." He explains.

"Why not?" I question.

"After my parents had died, I was left all alone within Wonderland. I don't know what your mother told you about this place, but it's not all bright and nice. I had to survive by myself in the woods until Auntie found me. She brought me back here to meet everyone else, and I couldn't thank her enough for that. But I was still a lost, angry, and confused child. Now though, I realize she was the best thing to every happen in my life. So now, I'm gonna be your personal bodyguard." Hongseok says.

"Thank you." I say.

Hongseok smiles and ruffles my hair.

"Get some sleep (M/n). We'll get you home soon." He says and turns off the lights.

"Goodnight Hongseok." I say.

"Goodnight (M/n." He replies.

And with that, I look forward to getting back home.

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