#i wish i hadnt fucked this up

[empty-meanings]

i shouldn’t be this sad this young

#i’m only 19 #words in my head #spilled feelings #spilled thoughts #spilled ink #i wish i hadnt fucked this up #alone #writing #heartache #i want to be enough #words i wish i could say #i wish things were different #poem #from a book i'll never write #i want to be loved #i feel so unloveable #i feel so lonely #i want to live #writeblr #sad poetry #just a thought #excerpt from a book i'll never write #a letter i'll never send #how do i fix this #heartbreak #i #late night thoughts #sad

[fiendishartist2]

guess who just watched this years fourth of footwerk

#idk why it hadnt occurred to me how easy it would be to make my own fin fin #i was watching the youtube upload of the stream and wayne started talking about how he wishes he had a fin fin plush #and i was like wait a minute......... #bc like its literally just a bird body with a fish tail. i just frankensteined like 3 patterns to make him #i love him <33333 #he looks better in person i just have a shitty phone lol #rtvs #fourth of footwerk #fin fin #teo the magic planet #amigurumi #man my wrists are not happy that i was crocheting oh my god. they're cracking and stinging like crazy #i was sewing the other day so they were already a little fucked up but doing tiny crochet projects like this are the worst for my wrists #its worth it tho like look at him :3

[yuudamari]

remember birdmen and how eishi literally dreamt about takayama like he was thaving dreams about jesus christ himself i will never forget that. gay ass......

#white out one of my fave chapters bc i love the full white double page of eishi seeing takayamas white wings #and looking so happy #anyways i should reread birdmen #i wish the end hadnt felt so rushed i really loved it but bc the ending felt really qucik and like it had more to say and didnt i kind of #like left it there. but i should reread it. #tbh my fave part of birdmen is up to white out #the rest is like . ITS GOOD of course but hte beggining of it til takayama leaves is just Too fucking good

[incorrect-league-of-villains]

Dabi: What doesn’t kill you makes you adopt a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humor.

Hawks, muttering: …stand a little taller, doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone…

#incorrect lov #one time i made a plan for a what doesnt kill you makes you stronger animatic with lov #and it was so fucking good i wish i had the artistic capability to make it #i also wish that it hadnt been at 11 pm which is one of my designated 'desperately tries to sleep but cant' hours #like man im just trying to sink into the unconscious void and that fuckin animatic made me shoot out of bed like FUCK why now #if bnha was a musical toga would totally start singing it in order to cheer the whole league up #dabihawks #dabi #bnha hawks #takami keigo

[jirai-kei-freak]

why does it have to be this way

#Why #I was doing so good this past year #There were times I was literally crying tears of joy because I haven’t felt as happy as I was in years #Now shit’s coming back and I don’t like it #Every fucking time man #“Well life is supposed to have its ups and downs” HAVE YOUVE WENT THROUGH WHAT I WENT THROUGH #summer through all the way to the end of 2023 was one of two of the most miserable times I ever went through #I was almost never happy #Had cheap laughs for like 20 minutes then back to misery #There wasn’t a single day were I didn’t wish i was dead #Literally I would wake up and i immediately wanted to start crying #Thats how bad things were #You could see it in my face how lonely and miserable i was #I hadnt felt that empty for like a good few years since then #It was to the point where I thought there was never going to be light in my life ever again #I went through some fucked up shit and now im traumatized 10x more then i was before #The first day of school was a weak after some extremely traumatic stuff happened man #Then the new year started and everything was starting to get better #I started taking medication #I was much more happier #My self esteem boosted up #I started working on myself and became a better person #I dont think i ever had a period of my life where i felt THAT BETTER #Like I said i was crying because I had felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders #It literally felt like i saw the light #I legitimately thought things were getting truly getting better #It’s just gonna be the same damn cycle over and over again huh? #For several months I feel depressed as shit #Then for a few months things start to clear up #Then suddenly and abruptly things go back to the shit

[yourcalamity]

im so tired of being human wallpaper

#wish i was genuinely important to the people most important to me #for every sacrifice i make i just get empty promises i cant take it i feel so alone jn everything #and i always get my hopes up like it hadnt been proven time and time again nothing i think or feel actually matters #suicidal as fuck snd im gonna go fold laundry about it

[pyrriax]

peace and love on planet earth.

this fic is. going places.

#haunted ecosystem #my day can be summed up in : two shitty conversations that i hated & one nice comment on asomatous #and also shaking like a sick dog. but thats unrelatedly related #idk i was gonna make an actual post about this fic then i opened the vault and felt nauseous so nvm about the original point of this post #i drew something? i dont think it really counted as drawing but today has been. a day. its 2:50am. why am i awake #pro tip go the fuck to sleep when it gets dark. you arent going to make good choices when its dark. #i have an ending for artificial stars? i have the idea for the other main fics of the series. i have an ambition that'll kill me one day #remind me to delete this later #im gonna go watch some random videos and hope this feeling passes. it's going to be okay and there is love in the world. #there is so much love you cannot even imagine. you'll learn about it when the time is right. there is love there is love there is love #there is so so much love and it exists for everyone out there. especially the people who are hurt / hurting. i love you. forever. #i care and i will listen to your woes and hardships and i will be there god damnit. stay. stay just a little longer #i learnt i write hardships that i wish i hadnt had to overcome alone. i write love ive never understood. i write the world the way i see it #so brimming with life and beautiful. its so beautiful. #goodnight tumblr. so much love <3

[justinefrischmanngf]

people tend to compliment me when they’re apologising to me and like i appreciate their apologies and it’s sweet of them to compliment me, but it’s also just like, i don’t want to be the bigger person here. i don’t want to be like yeah great i have this skill and you don’t and because you don’t you’ve hurt me but awesome! i’ve got it! like idk i’m just feeling very petty and sad and full of Emotion and i’ll get over it but idk. i have this real desire to be so cruel and i won’t act on it but idk it’s this horrible part of me that wants to be like well fuck it EYE want to be the one fucking up and hurting people and making things complicated !!!!!!! and that’s not ok!

#this is not to say i’ve never fucked up or hurt people because i definitely have and i deeply deeply wish that i hadnt #and i’m obviously not going to go out and start being rly cruel to people and honestly people are very rarely cruel to me #these things that i’m talking about have never been to deliberately hurt me #so it’s not like it’s a big deal. #i’m just angry & sad. and have had a weird week. and my room is a mess. and i need to shower. #and this is all so silly because nothing’s rly a big deal like GENUINELY if i was in a better frame of mind it wouldnt matter #but i’m not and so it does ! and i’ve been connecting so many dots lately which is just not rly all that pleasant i cant lie #anyway. i live a very good life and i need to remember that

[solaaresque]

.

#reze stfu #sometimes i think there is something wrong with me and i am a terrible person #like im a shit daughter and a shit older sister adn like im sorry #im sorry i didnt mean to be this way #i dont know why im so fucked up and why i cant love people properly #im so selfish because i only care about myself and no one else and i hate myself for it #i keep distancing myself from others but im so lonely and idk what to say. please like me please love me #god its so pathetic. ill do anything to have someone who cares about me #i love my family but sometimes i wish they hadnt messed me up so bad because #i want to know what being normal feels like. i wish i was born second or third #better yet i wish i wasnt born at all. wouldnt that be fun! #sorry. sorry. i think im going to drink some warm milk and idk. do something #i wish i could talk to someone rn... #idk. maybe ill call my best friends #<- his ass WILL NOT #because his ass feels guilty all the fucking time #hahahaha #tw vent

[fetabathwater]

Hildegard is the next eso houseguest NPC

I WAS GONNA ASK FOR SOURCE BUT. I CHECKED THE DATAMINING SITE. THATS MY BABY GIRL THATS MY DAUGHTER AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#REPLIES #ASKHFLAJSKDHFSDKJ I WISH YOU HADNT SAID ANYTHINGNGNGGDFJKGHDKJGH #I MANAGED TO HOLD OFF ON BUTYING THE FUCKING. SHIP HOUSE. #BY STRAIGHT UP DELETING ESO. #HUGHTGUHUFHDGUHDFG

[humanmorph]

watching more escaflowne (i watched episodes 1+2 a week ago or so, and haven't since) and its so. Every scene theres something new and incredibly cool that had me like. wait hold on. wait. this rules. no dont move on already i want to see more of this. like As i was typing this:

Destiny Prognostication Engine!!! giant machine that this person (the emperor?) literally seems to be plugged into! alright!! fuck yeah!

#rosa rambles #i loooooved the mechs with the invisibility cloak and the attack in the 2nd episode. So fucking cool #going hard as hell immediately. the first ep was mostly set-up and THEN... #tbh i didnt even know this was an isekai like thing until a few months ago. i almost wish i hadnt known it at all! #that wouldve been fun too

[szczylpierdolony]

they should invent a suicide that doesnt inconvenience ppl around you

#i need to find friends who are as stupid and annoying as me i think #bc talking to ppl ik friends with now makes me want to die all the time and it’s not bc there’s anything wrong with them or how they act #they’re all great and really nice and smart and cool #but i feel so inadequate all the time why why do i have to be this fucking stupid and annoying #and always behind everyone on everything #and why did there have to be sth intrinsically wrong with me #abt how i look and how i act and how i talk and how i think #and i don’t even mind being stupid but being constantly surrounded by ppl sm smarter and more interesting is so exhausting #but i also never met ppl who didn’t make me feel like this #and i have hard time already befriending ppl so maybe i just wasn’t meant to have friends in the first place #it’s not for me ig and it never was #anyway idk if i really don’t want to inconvenience anyone when killing myself or if it’s just an excuse #i’m so tired and done and i still have an essay left and now this exam i fucked up #and all my friends who after writing it weren’t happy with it either apparently all got insanely good grades #so if i’m the dumbest one once again #i wish i hadnt been born and i wish i could just die on the spot and i wish to have never had existed in the first place

[infizero]

i may get shot for this but personally i dont think theres really anything wrong with death note's female characters

#the worst thing is rlly just that there arent that many of them. but i dont think thats like unforgivable #i like misa and i think shes a great character. i keep seeing ppl being like she deserved better i wish she had better writing etc #and thats valid but also i. dont ger that at all personally. i think shes a really good character imo #like yeah shes sort of a stereotypical The Girl but thats not like inherently a bad thing. girls like that exist #and like yes her whole thing is she only wants to be of service to light. but like.... thats ADDRESSED. its treated as a bad thing #it'd be bad if her only purpose was to serve light and that was just not addressed. but thats like the whole point of her character that #it sucks that she thinks thats all shes worth and that she has to encounter light who only plays into that and makes it worse #to the point of her being completely dependent on him and killing herself once hes dead #shes a tragedy. that if she hadnt met light she wouldve probably survived and might have been able to work past her issues #but light fucked all that up #i think thats super interesting and cool and like yeah shes not the greatest character ever #but idk i dont get that complaint. her only purpose being to serve light is the whole point. its viewed as a bad thing #BTW THIS IS NOT ME DEFENDING THE AUTHOR. i know one of his later works has some extremely blatant and awful sexism in it FUCK HIM! #but idk with death note specifically. in a void apart from its author #i think the few female characters it has are fine. idk #serena.txt

[aux-array]

can people PLEASE stop acting like everyone who got a neurodivergence diagnosis as a kid automatically got the help they needed and never got shamed for their symptoms and never faced any trauma as a direct result of the diagnosis?!?!?

#this isnt @ anyone specific #i just feel so alone in this sometimes #like idk! idk if i wish i hadnt been diagnosed #but i sure as fuck wish that i hadnt been abused and infantilized because of the diagnosis! #and fucking. publicly humiliated #hot take! the 'help' that parents and schools provide for adhd is not actually helpful and is often actively harmful! #fuck! i grew up fully believing that i was inherently a few years behind my peers maturity-wise #and that was used to excuse so much of my abuse and social isolation! #i deserved to be treated with basic fucking respect as a human being!!!

[kinglypup]

tell us more about that friend of yours 👀if you want ofc

ive said pretty much everything at some point ! im not giving his name or anything but hes my age, we met in high school doing theatre at a community college! hes a great friend first of all, ive known him for years, but hes also hot and a GREAT kisser holy shit skbdjdjd :) idk ! if i had actually fucked him id have more to tell but i was a pussy about it lol. we spent like an hour on the couch occasionally making out while we "watched" that gay harry styles movie and we were both grinding on each other's thighs till we went to bed and then made out again the next morning skbdksj it was a lot of fun

#he truly is a really good kisser he knows what hes doing djhdks #i do wish i hadnt chickened out lol but its fine #i have no chance to see him again till maybe the summer if he comes back up and if he does ill fuck him then #maybe ill actually fuck him lol id have my harnesses and toys #anyways lol. im totally normal about it #asks #anon #That Friend