#i wish i had a more normal brain

[saltycactusss]

they r so gnc af 

#i like this show...a normal amount...😄 #cuphead brainrot (real) #wish kd had more screen timeee #this show tickles my brain sm so glad i watched it during my break off school #i don't really like how i drew the devil in this style #might have to practice drawing him differently next time #cuphead #king dice #the devil #henchman #fanart

[obeymeow]

nightbringer lesson 14 FUCKED ME UP in several ways but primarily I've spent the last 48 hours making myself sad over the solomon backstory we got. specifically I have, for no reason, latched onto that one chapter in the Kids event where baby solomon cried because he felt so guilty over being responsible for that spell. and that just feels a touch more depressing in context

#nightbringer spoilers #obey me on side #went back and unlocked the event again because i could not get this out of my brain i know it's probably not that deep #but it is that deep TO ME. okay #baby solomon has been on my brain since thirteen told that story so that's probably why it's sticking in my brain so hard but whatever #in case anyone was wondering the other things to make me sad are: #he has such a deeply excessive amount of lights in his room in purgatory hall there are SEVERAL chandeliers and lamps #there's a good handful in his room in cocytus hall too (his horror dg showed it) if a more normal amount #but that with the 'dim and gloomy' detail. ☹️ #i've also always thought that solomon's loneliness wasn't all about the immortal angst but like. #having it confirmed that he's had reason to be lonely since he was a child- before he was old enough to know he was using magic- #totally crushed me girl why can't I be wrong #had emotions about lesson 14 in general but solomon backstory steals the show every time for me so i haven't gotten around to the rest #i'm enjoying the nightbringer story so much (not talking about the game design. that's a different thing entirely) but man #the pacing is WILD it feels like every lesson could be a whole lesson block at the least. it's giving me a lot of room to speculate #which I always love! but i do wish they would slow down a little and expand on some of these concepts they're bringing up #because the basic idea of the game alone is REALLY INTRIGUING and it'd be a shame if they raced back to the present imo #what was i even talking about. sorry my brain fast forwards as soon as i get into the tags there is not one sequitur to be seen #so curious about solomon's friend now too. like my guess is it's going to be lilith (and hopefully not in a popular fan theory kind of way) #because it's more than a little suspicious that they expanded on lilith's views on humans the way they did #in a way that SO PERFECTLY lines up with the expansion on solomon's views on humans #WHICH I HAVEN'T TALKED ABOUT YET BY THE WAY BUT LIKE. HE IS SO RIGHT AND REAL FOR THAT #it's beyond stressful to me that I think solomon is completely justified in his views and being completely reasonable about it #but that it would also mean war between the worlds presumably while the brothers are still recovering from THEIRS #you cannot give me that choice man. not even sure that the human world would be ABLE to win that fight if we're being real #solomon's 72 pacts are a lot yes but he's still only one guy who is NOT on good terms with the sorcerer's society #and mc is powerful but so so inexperienced. and that's IF they choose to side with the human world which #really i don't think the canon mc is likely to do. but anyway i guess solomon's friend could also be adam maybe? #that could be wishful thinking because i like adam though. even if his hair SUUUCKS #deeply offended by everyone thinking solomon got the fucked up hair when all signs point to adam be NICE TO HIM he's ugly already

[khihi]

hm. feeling annoying and embarrassing to be around today. dont like that.

#/vent #/personal #pls ignore if you're in a good mood i do Not want to be a bummer #dyou ever like... swing violently between extroverted and introverted?? #idk i feel like that's the only way i can explain it #while i'm in an extroverted mood my anxiety makes it feel like i'm on a rollercoaster #like pushing myself onto the ride (being social) is hooorrible but i've learned that it's worth it in the end and i have fun #but then when i swing back to feeling more introverted it's like #suddenly the most dramatic fucking crash #and every interaction i've ever had makes me feel sick to think about #even the good ones somehow #and i'm embarrassed about the fact i exist #like i feel annoying and embarrassing 24/7 even on good days but on bad days it's like it's eating my body from the inside out #wish i had a normal brain hahaaaa #uggh. anyway. sorry for this but what use is a tumblr blog if you don't document your decent into insanity.

[1990danieljohnston]

tired of people thinking i have a “talent” with kids. getting along with children doesn’t require any special ability. it’s as easy as being understanding and patient. if you just stop and open your adult brain you might discover kids have very important and smart things to say

#stop thinking children are below you just bc you're an adult and start considering more the things they tell you! it's actually a lot of fun #i've had kids tell me more interesting and insightful things than many of the adults in my life #i think being a teacher has opened my brain a lot and i wish i could tell others how important it is #to be considerate to kids and listen to them!!!! literally that's the most important part as well as treating them like another person #and not just someone who's dumber just bc they don't know many of the things you do #don't dumb down kids! don't baby talk a 7 year old! talk to them like normal and listen to them god LISTEN TO THE FUCKING CHILDREN PLEASEEEE

[welcometogrouchland]

for the drawing requests luz dressing up as eda for halloween if u feel like it xoxox

I ABSOLUTELY FEEL LIKE IT this was such a delightful request omg. Featuring some bonus clawthorne/Noceda family doodles because they come as a set. Do Not Separate Them

[ID: three images of digital fanart for the owl house. first image shows Luz dressed up as Eda's season 1 design, with her hair slicked back. she's posed mid-twirl, holding her dress in one hand, saying "surprise! I'm you. What do you think?". Next to her is a cartoony doodle of an emotional looking Eda.

The next image is a doodle of Luz and Eda dressed up as each other, looking at each other happily from a side view, labeled "they're matching".

Third image is a sketch page of Luz, Eda, Hunter and Lilith. It features a grinning Luz leaning on hunter saying "hey there sibling! How's my best brother doing?". She's labeled as "being a shit". Hunter looks unimpressed but has a thought bubble that says "sibling..." with a heart. Eda and Lilith are smiling, dressed as Luz and Hunter respectively. Eda says "remind you of anyone?" End ID]

#the owl house #toh #luz noceda #eda clawthorne #hunter toh #lilith clawthorne #i forgot to add in mentions/ideas of halloween but it's fine. you get the gist #that image of luz dressed up as eda at the top was. genuinely so difficult for me to draw i redraw it more times than i care to admit #like scrap it and start over #but like. it was good for me it was character building and i think it turned out cute anyway #hhh i always feel the need to cut down my toh image descriptions because i got used to doing very detailed ones for podcast fanart #cause it was more normalized there and ppl generally had more patience for a lot of words in an image id #and i get so nervous that my lengthy descriptions put ppl off rbing my stuff #(NOT that it matters i am much less insecure in my need for online validation than i used to be- #-i simply wish ppl would take a chance on posts with length-ier ids. it's an accessibility measure and all that) #(but hey I'm not your dad and don't control what u do or don't do) #anyway NO I didn't forget abt me asking for reqs i just need to finish up the second one and that was enough to get my brain working again #there's juice flowing in there now! i have drawing ideas!! huzzah!! #which is all i actually wanted from this specific bout of drawing reqs was just a creative jumpstart #sorry if this is a bit sketchy- that's all i was really up for when i made this lol. i think it's cute and that's goof enough #anyway yeah I'm gonna go read before sleeping now byyyeeee <3

[caeslxys]

certain beloved members of vm and m9 are similar levels of morally ambiguous and unable to decisively deal with their personal shit that imogen temult is but only one them is constantly shit on for it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#cr spoilers #vaguely? I don't even wanna tag that bc this is a little controversial in tone #'but imogen's shit doesn't make sense bc she has a support system and still refuses to deal' #liam obrien had an evil caleb playlist READY TO GO like???? #taliesan has talked On END about how percy is a piece of shit #(affectionate) #god forbid the woman who had her entire life repeatedly wrecked from before the first episode and every five or so episodes after #be just like. a little fucking frayed. a bit on edge #also she repeatedly REPEATEDLY asked to just be told she was wrong all episode. she was BEGGING for clarity #not because she thought they were right. but because it's so hard for her to say that her mother is wrong #when she so badly wants to be able to save her and love her #she just wishes her mother wasn't involved how she is??? #oh I'm sorry I forgot she's supposed to just. get over that. in a totally believable and human way #this is the closest I'm gonna get to Discourse bc it's not worth it but keeping these thoughts in my brain is abt to make me explode so #also!! this is not me shitting on percy or caleb!! they are also The Skrunkly of their respective campaigns for me!! #and I don't think either is a bad person!!! #I do think they were given more incentive to heal in less episodes than imogen has been given all campaign tho lol #also yes I know that people exist who Do shit on these two for exactly this #even with that it is not nearly what I have seen go imogen's way #also the universal queer sentiment of 'she tried to show me a world that was peaceful if only I went back to being normal' #I just don't get it 😭

[ken-katayanagi]

Chronically embarrassed because uh…..I went to a local free console place and someone was using the console I want to use. And I felt judged for um…..standing? For a second? To process information. Yep. Normal brain.

#actually npd #npd safe #this is an narrasasists only post #‘it’s narrsastic to say that-‘ yeah. see above. #idk why it embarrasses me so much that I like sat down and wrote a whole tumblr post about it #wish I had normal brain and not everyone on tuned into the reality show of my life and they hate me I need more imaginary brain twitter stan

[purecommemasolitude]

rereading dracula and watching tos at the same time was a mistake. I'm not done either but already my vocabulary has shifted into a bizarre mixture of 21st century internet user and average victorian with a healthy side helping of spock

#i already talked a little silly now I need to edit half the stuff that comes from my brain for me to say #two seconds ago it was “convey to your brother my best wishes” in a conversation with someone my age that i had to change because i don't #know them that well and that's not A Normal Thing to say #like it's Fun it's a Fun way to talk but i can't use it conversationally more often than not #og #me #personal #dracula #star trek #<- for blog organization purposes

[running-in-the-dark]

a super fun thing that my brain is really good at is hearing a random fact and remembering it forever. but only if it's bad :)

#the reason I'm thinking about that right now: I wish I had never read that having a crease on your earlobe means you're more likely to have #heart disease. #scared me so much that I read a whole paper about it #but it's been years now so I don't remember the details #just that that's a thing apparently #and guess what my brain does with that information? oh yeah of course I have to obsessively look at the ears of everyone now! does that #do anything helpful? nope! just makes me very very anxious :) #it's just like when I was a kid and I got nightmares about scurvy every time I didn't eat a potato for a week. #like. wow I could be so smart and everything if my brain wasn't constantly focused on random bullshit that is completely irrelevant 😭 #also this thing specifically: I've always been weirdly fascinated by ears and this made that a million times worse and also very scary. #like ooh that's a nice ear :) oh no death exists and this person is going to die and #yeah it sucks. #specifically choosing not to mention any names in this context because my god this shit is on my mind all the time already I really don't #need to say it where anyone can see #it's embarrassing enough #though anyone who has looked at my blog in the past month already knows who I'm talking about. #like. I really shouldn't allow myself to like anyone over the age of like. idk 45. #it's so unbelievably exhausting. #but annnyway I'm totally normal and fine :) #oh yeah I also have creases on my earlobes lol so that definitely added to the scariness (and THEN my mother randomly mentioned recently #that EVERYONE on her side of the family had/has heart disease. bitch WHAT the fuck. anyway so yeah guess we know what's gonna kill me #haha isn't that fun :) ) #ALSO the fact that my memory is very very bad means that I remember absolutely none of the details about shit like this. so it could very #well be completely irrelevant and harmless but i wouldn't remember that part. #and I think even if I found out more it wouldn't help. it's been an obsession for so long. I've never had one go away that I've had for #this long. so. guess I'm just fucked. #personal

[afniel]

AH I REMEMBERED WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY EARLIER but it's kind of stupid, lmao.

So my partner is getting into brewing beer and I got them a Tilt, which is a Bluetooth hydrometer. It measures specific gravity and temperature, which are things you want to know so that you don't kill your yeast or whatever. Except the sensor's Bluetooth range is super short, and it basically runs via a phone app, and the temperature we're logging currently is the crawlspace, accessible via the staircase closet. So they were like, wait, what do we do about this, because I can't leave my phone in the closet, that's my alarm clock.

In a kind of ridiculous turn of life imitating art, I was like, hold up, I got just the thing right at my desk. Bam. Old phone. We just needed to scrounge up a charger because the battery is so dead that after charging just enough to power on it claimed it was at 53% (to be fair to it, there is a very real chance that it's correct, and it just holds no charge at this point so the capacity is just THAT low) and now it lives in the closet logging sensor data.

And I was like, you know...didn't I just solve a major story detail with a much larger version of this...yeah, no, this is all vaguely familiar somehow, power supply issues and all. Kind of cool that the concept works though. Kind of weird that it came up at all?

We are not gonna talk about the fact that I still have at least two more ancient-ass phones in a drawer where that came from because look, man, sometimes you just need a camera/mic/mini computer with Bluetooth and wifi that fits in a pocket, and people just get rid of these things, but not me. I actually could build a shitty security system out of them if I was reaaaally inclined. I mean. I'm not. But it's technically possible.

For real though, If I pick up any stupid maker projects I still high-key am thinking about slapping Bluetooth into a necomimi headset and running that through an Arduino and learning to code just enough to let me skip songs/change the volume on Spotify with my brain, because it's entirely doable, and I mean yeah I could do that on my phone remotely too, but that's not funny, now, is it. I'm just not sure it's $350+ of parts funny. Kind of a big investment just to prove the point that haha look I am the extremely ADHD type of lazy where I would rather solve a problem via the most convoluted and complicated Rube-Goldberg type ass machine way possible rather than just perform a single simple action.

YEAH I'VE BEEN THIS SCATTERED ALL DAY AND I REALLY SHOULD GO TO BED SHOULDN'T I. I started playing Satisfactory. Mistakes were made. I'm going to dream about conveyor belts again and I did it to myself...

#you know I used to mostly blog about witchcraft and paganism #and now I'm like. you know what I want to do? chain an EEG sensor to the Spotify API and skip songs with my brain. #it's kind of like magic when you put it like that. maybe things haven't actually changed that much after all #the headset idea actually came about bc I'd gotten so far into the writing zone that I literally just. tried to skip a song with my brain. #because I had so much reploid characters on my mind that it just sounded like a normal course of action I should be able to take #obviously it didn't work and cue me sitting there for a full 3 seconds going 'why didn't it. wait. why did I think it would?' #followed immediately after by 'YEAH BUT I PROBABLY COULD DO THAT ACTUALLY' #because you just Cannot write a character like Glitch without it rubbing off on you a little bit and WWGD kicked in real hard lmao #well obviously he'd [ridiculous chain of ideas ending in 'anyway I installed some shit and now I can control Spotify with my mind'] #and I gotta say I do not like the idea of sticking a sensor on the *inside* of my skull. sounds very bad. #but it doesn't have to be on the inside to work soooo there's that! #I have a friend who for quite a long time had a rare earth magnet in one finger so he could find live wires by touch #he ended up removing it for work eventually but when I say I was jelly. man. but also kinda squeamish about it. #I do not like sharp things and I am Very funny about my fingers as an artist/writer/used to be musician. #but man that sounds cool. I want the magnet senses. I don't think I want them enough to have a magnet under my skin though #I think I wouldn't use them enough for that to be helpful actually lmao #anyway do I even need more senses? probably not. mine are already unfiltered and loud as shit. #'boy I wish I could sense magnetic fields' says idiot guy who can hear the mains hum even with no electronics currently turned on #like when the power goes out I can FEEL the fucking difference in the air and it's unnaturally quiet and kinda spooky #I do not think I need help on this front actually. I think I got it handled pretty okay lol

[iwantyoursexmp3]

need to log off early because social media is making me irritable but like i will just never get the memes anymore that are so popular about how much writing is Not Fun and Daydreaming And Everything That Isnt Writing Is! like i get writing is hard and we should talk about that but it should be fun?? i get a joke here and there but if you actually don't look forward to writing then you need to actually confront and unpack that?? like the first post on my fyp was a joke about how Not Writing sparks joy but actually writing for a bit does not spark joy and idk i just find it weird how these jokes are like. one of the most popular types of content on WRITEBLR

#on the side blog cause i KNOWWW people are like. just being jokey about it like its not that serious #but also i do fear about the mindset it unintentionally perpetuates #also framing things as not writing as procrastination when they are actually necessary parts of the process for a lot of people #isnt gonna make people feel better abt writing #like am i crazy am i taking it all too literally like the autistic person i am or is it weird #i feel like the more you joke about these things the more you are letting the mindset have space in your brain. even if it feels harmless #i had such a doom pov about writing in 2021 because i didnt take the active steps to confront and unpack my negative feelings about writing #because ppl acted like it was so normal to hate writing and for it to be this gruelling up and down unstable isolating thing #like yes there are hard parts to it but also it really doesnt need to be Like That! #also not to be petty but i kinda hate how low effort low brow 'content' like that can get thousands of notes #like its not about the notes i just wish writeblr felt a bit more aligned to like. actually talking about writing in a positive way

[eti-mun]

God I wish I could stop getting so fucking attached to people

it's exhausting

#the moment they start showing some sort of hint of not being as close to me as they used to my brain just short-circuits #i try to cling to them thinking im never gonna see them again and it tears me up and just causes them more stress #just like 'why did it change!!!! what did i do!!! i can be better! i promise i promise!' #god it wouldnt surprise me if i had fucking BPD with the way my brain just unhealthily obsesses with certain people #i wish it wouldnt fucking do that i wish my brain like #knew that eventually everyone i meet leaves and gets replaced with another one just #*beats brain with broom* STOP GETTING ATTACHED! STOP GETTIN ATTACHED! #and those people can reassure me all they want that its fine they still love me and love my company and stuff #BUT MY BRAIN WONT LET ME BELEIVE THEM AND I JUST WANNA SCREAM AND TEAR APART MY CHEST #just please PLEASE be fucking normal #i want to lay down #its even fucking worse that i cant ever properly explain how i feel because im TERRIFIED of running them off #for once can my brain just attach to someone that will conisistantly feel the same about me

[jackalxhearts]

to be honest inconsistent work with kind people who pay you as much as they're able (a living wage usually) versus inconsistent work with callous people who pay less than a living wage has been so much better for my mental health despite the periodic unemployment

#the finances even out anyway. #do i wish I had more money for my IRA and healthcare? yeah #will the callous corporations ever give it to me first without me damaging my brain and body? absolutely not #will the kind people ever give it to me as soon as they're able to with only the normal work they ask for in return? absolutely yes #if i learned anything from my parents its that money comes and goes but your health (if you're lucky enough to have some!!!!) #is one of THE MOST valuable thing you have. EVER

[lichdolly]

Thinking back to childhood it was such an odd thing for adults in my life to say “boys are intimidated by you because you’re smart!!” when like… smart boys didn’t like me either lol!! Other children didnt like me baceuse i was autistic and would tell them that decay starts to happen instantly when you die and not as like an edgelord thing as a like “hey did u know” casual conversation because i did not fucking know better!

#fucked up snd thinking of how my life wouldve been improved by knowing i was autistic #mainly i wish i had learned to be more socially appropriate at a younger age wkth peers of my own age #idk i think i deserved to know. that yknow. my brain’s fucked up #oh to have had more normal special interests also #talk about not being able to bond with ppl… like yikes. nobody wants to hear about how mummies are made #nobody wants to hear about the shmptoms of bubonic plague!! especially not other kids!! #and nobody still wants to hear abojt those things but at least i understand that!! #eden speak

[greg-montgomery]

.

#i had a dream that one of my guy friends took me in his arms and kissed my forehead and like held me Help this is concerning LMFAOOOO #like i knew i was touch starved but 💀 #i do wish we hugged and all that but if i initiate it he’ll take it as me hitting on him :( #i think it’s bc he pet my hair a few times when we were out and my brain picked up on it like 🚨 affection 🚨 #it’s genuinely just platonic tho i just wish it was more normalized to hold your friends :(

[cherrysnax]

I once heard that dreaming about someone constantly means that they’re thinking about you. Maybe these people miss you too?

kneejerk reaction is that I hope they’re not thinking of me tbh

#is that the truth? I’m not too sure. I just think it’s be easier to be okay with the concept of everyone forgetting me forever than to sit #with the mortifying possibility of being known and remembered #I don’t remember my hs self fondly so I don’t see why anyone else would yknow #I was already kinda convinced everybody hated me before I vanished so I guess. if ppl are thinking about me it’s negative #it’s scarier if it isn’t lmaoo #I don’t know what’s wrong with me #but yeah I don’t think it works like that nonnie or at the very least I hope it doesn’t <3 #I think I’m just a weird guy whose brain is trying to hold on to idealized memories of the past because he’s afraid of growing up #n wishes they had the insight they do now back then. if I had known I was a nb lesbian dealing w massive comp het #if I had known abt the bpd I could’ve realized that I split on ppl and myself #i was so excited to have friends and be cared about man #I hate that little guy I was but I don’t blame them for being stupid and not understanding shit. I wish I could slap my younger self on the #back of the head and be like “’be normal dumbass ur friends like you’’ #I uhh often focus on hurting myself more than not hurting the people around me and it was rlly bad back then #asks #nonnie #this is all to say that I think that the constant feeling of instability and academic stress is causing me to subconsciously wish for the #the days I perceive as being easier. it’s a mishmash of real events and things that possibly could’ve been if I was normal #I believe I want a feeling of control or something? idk. idk that contradicts everything #dreams are just dreams. I’m probably just regretting how much of senior year I lost and that’s it