#i watched it like back in april but. i was too Shy to make art

[avotuli]

this song is on loop in my house

#i watched it like back in april but. i was too Shy to make art #ofmd #our flag means death #edward x stede #i have no idea what their ship name is #blackbeard #stede bonnet #my art #digital art #the chain fleetwood mac

[all-risejd]

Innocent Manipulations

This turned out darker than we originally intended, but this was a lot of fun to write. I hope you enjoy it, comments, reblogs and likes are appreciated.

Warnings: manipulation, obsessive behavior, unhealthy relationships, controlling partner, submissive partner. 

Dom!Dom X Sub!Rhea

April 2023

In the quiet between pure night and early dawn Dominik can’t help but watch Rhea sleep stretched across their hotel bed, the slightly older woman fast asleep with a steady rise and fall of her shoulders, the blankets tangled around her, her dyed black hair inky against the crisp white of the pillows. Sitting in the high backed chair, he rested his chin on his hands, elbows on his knees, as he leaned forward and studied her. When the sun rose they had things to do, but this little moment right now, was his alone. He could plan and plot and choose the night's festivities - but he wanted to just watch his little masterpiece sleep. A true work of art once he’d managed to break down her barriers and gain her trust. His mean little brat, who needed someone in control, he had been more than happy to take the reins for her. A smile pulled on his face as he thought about the twisting game he’d played to get to this moment… 

August 2022

He’d known about Rhea Ripley for some time. But seeing her in the flesh gave him goosebumps of the best kind. She was feral and wild in the way caged animals were. He loved it. The problem was even from his distance he could see how alone she was, the only time she even remotely lit up was in the presence of Damian Priest, and while that made Dominik’s curiosity about her flare, he’d heard all the rumors. He’d also heard the end of her discussions with other females, she’d get snappy and closed off. He’d read the online talk about her (he was often looking out for things his haters would use against him, like the fact that he was builtfat and not one hundred percent muscle like Theory), and he hated how he could tell even from watching her across arenas she let the way those trolls talked about her sneak into her mind and tear her apart. The thing was, he could see, even before they were on the same roster, that she was meant to be more. His father always said he picked impossible goals.

He made Rhea Ripley his goal - either a conquest, a lover, or a friend. He wanted to possess some part of the powerful woman who would have undoubtedly made Chyna proud. It’s an accident, really, (a well-planned one) that allows him to catch her in the gym of their hotel in the early morning light, the frustration and overexertion on her behalf echos the pain he once felt - when he was a teenager and brutally teased for not being more like his father, for not looking like the other football players, for being too tall to be hispanic (whatever the fuck that meant). “Hey, Ripley.” She jolted and turned to look at him, “Wanna beat something up that might hit you back?” He watched her appraise him - before nodding. It’s the start of something, admittedly not the something he so desperately wanted - but something just the same. It becomes a habit, if they are in the same hotel, they find each other between two and three in the morning, and beat the shit out of each other - never going for faces, but leaving the impact bruises just the same. 

While they hit and spar, he draws her out of her comfort zone in another way. Dominik knows he’s got all the charm his father never uses correctly, he also knows there is a darkness inside of him, steadily growing, that he doesn’t mind. It only takes him two weeks to learn she’s forgetful for being a gym rat. She forgets protein, water, workout towels, and changes of clothes - she forgets the step that comes out after working your muscles to jello. But it works in his favor, his gym bag gets heavier, with the additions he makes, but seeing her shy smile as he offers her whatever it is she’s forgotten is worth it. August is a fantastic month, at least behind the scenes, they slowly share about their families - his hatred of being a nepobaby and the fact that everyone assumes he’s going to be Rey Mysterio 2.0, when in reality he wants to be more like Eddie Guerrero, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Raven, Undertaker - he wants to be the bad guy, and he knows he can do it, feels it in his soul, resonates in his very core. August in the ring is different - The Judgment Day are a pain in Rey Mysterio’s ass, they are a whirlwind of promised violence, and Dominik get’s it, all three of them are fighting demons, but they aren’t open about it. Dominik’s own relationship with his father is deteriorating - but that might have something to do with the almost arrest for Domestic Violence - Dominik’s not about to dwell on it. 

It’s late in the gym, mid-August, now that Rhea is officially back on the roster and in the ring, their routine has shifted slightly. They meet around midnight, and they avoid making eye contact at work. Not because he wouldn’t meet her gaze, but because she’s distracted. There are whispers (WWE superstars are the worst rumor mill he’s ever seen) that she’s having problems with her AEW boyfriend, it makes him wrinkle his nose. He’s never been a fan of Buddy, and they’d had a storyline together before that hadn’t ended all that well. Dominik grew irritated when Rhea missed three workouts with him - and had to remind himself that he didn’t own her yet. The third week in August brought Alexa Bliss of all people pounding her way into his hotel room, unapologetically at almost one in the morning, “I need your help.” Was all she’d said, before snagging his wrist and dragging him out of his room toward the elevator, “She said you were helping her, before.” Alexa continued, “I fucking hate that tool, he just…” She pushed the L button on the column in the elevator, “He cheated on her.” Dominik, somewhere between sleep drunk and confused, wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted him when Alexa drugged him into the gym. Rhea was on her knees by the weight bench, her forehead pressed into the seat, clearly sobbing so hard she couldn’t breathe, Dominik knew the signs of an impending panic attack, “She said you helped her before.” Alexa snapped at him.

It got him into action, he moved swiftly if not disjointed from sleep, to drop onto the floor next to Rhea, and haul her into his lap, a messy tangle of arms and limbs - she tried to fight him off at first, but Dominik was stronger, not that anyone would notice that about him. He managed to coil her up in his grip, tucking her head under his chin, then with a sharp exhale, carefully rose from his knees, balancing himself the best he could, “Get her bag.” He told Alexa, “And come on.” The small blonde did what he asked, having to almost run to keep up with him, as he headed back toward the elevator, softly promising Rhea she was safe under his breath, and that he was going to take care of her. Alexa slid into the elevator a beat after he did, and then they headed for the seventh floor, “Thank you, for coming to get me, Bliss.” He offered, as he stepped off, still cradling Rhea, “After you put her bag in my room you can take off.” He offered, giving no room for argument.

Alexa looked a bit miffed, but offered a quick, “She’s rooming with Liv, I’ll let Liv know she’s with you, just so she doesn’t worry, ok?” Dominik frowned as he realized one, they’d left his hotel door open, and two, Rhea had been so upset she’d opted to room with Liv instead of sleeping alone and he hadn’t known. No matter, she’d be in his bed tonight, and the foreseeable future if he got his way - and he was good at that, “Dominik, ok?” Alexa pressed, clearly a little worried about his answer. 

“That’s fine.” He laid Rhea on his bed, carefully, then turned and took her bag from Alexa, “Tell Liv not to bother us until nine ish, I’m going to order some food, and see if I can’t get her to shower and talk to me.” Alexa flicked her gaze between them, Rhea had calmed down the moment he squeezed her to his chest, so he was confident she felt safe enough with him. Alexa surprised him by diving into his arms and hugging him around his middle, “Her boyfriend is a piece of shit.” Dominik offered, as he kissed Alexa’s head, and untangled her arms from him. Alexa raised a brow at him and looked like she wanted to say something, but opted not to, she looked at Rhea’s form again (she was at least breathing calmly), then nodded her head and slipped out. Dominik made sure the door behind her was shut and locked, before he turned to look at Rhea himself, “You’ve been ignoring me.”

Her face was a mask of anguish and confusion, “I…”

“You won’t do it again.” Dominik told her calmly, “Why did Alexa have to come get me?”

Rhea pushed up to sit, her breathing hitching just a bit, apparently the change in his tone from soft and reassuring with Alexa, to demanding and charged with Rhea had been noticed by the beautiful tear stained creature in his bed. “It uh…” She wouldn’t meet his gaze, and that wouldn’t do. He made his way back across the room, standing and towering over her, he used his pointer finger to force her chin up, her crystal like blue eyes were red rimmed and clearly unsure, as she met his gaze, “Buddy cheated on me.” She forced the words out, her chest heaving as she said it, “With that… with his… with his stablemate.” Dominik’s heart clenched a little bit, he’d never understood Buddy but that girl in the AEW had nothing on Rhea. On the bed, Rhea had drawn her knees up to her chest, and had pressed her face down into her knees, and was softly sniffling.

“He is a complete idiot, and you broke up with him, right.” Dominik was trying to coax her to stand, “Why don’t you take a nice warm shower, querida, and let me get you something to eat, you can sleep in here with me tonight?” While it was posed like a question, he could tell when she realized it wasn’t. She nodded her head twice, and let him manhandle her off the bed and into the bathroom - he could have given her clothes from her bag, instead he dug out a clean pair of his boxers and one of his softest old football shirts, he waited until he heard her under the spray of the water to put the clothes on the counter. Buddy was an issue - and someday he’d take care of that over muscled piece of shit - but the man had unwittingly helped Dominik, so maybe he’d send him a thank you card of some sort. He ordered ice cream and dessert because he’d helped Aalyah through more than one bad breakup (ironically he’d shared ice cream with her the night she realized Buddy was never going to take her seriously, and that her crush on him was completely one-sided), and set about building a fort out of the spare blankets he always asked for - less for comfort and more because his father often bothered him in the early hours of the morning looking for a quilt or another comforter. To be safe, Dominik hung the do not disturb sign on the outside of the door - it was something he and Rey had agreed on after his last relationship ended. Rey wouldn’t bother him (and his conquest) when it was on the door.

Rhea emerged from a pool of smoke in the bathroom doorway, backlit by the dim lights of the overhead fluorescents on the mirror she looked ethereal - a bit water logged, but dressed in clothes that belonged to him, that no doubt smelled like him, she looked a lot like she belonged. 

Honestly, Dominik had never witnessed something so beautiful. They spent the night talking about failed relationships and eating the desserts that room service delivered, before the pair crashed out just after five in the morning, Rhea curled up in his arms, in the fort he’d built for them. They woke up to Liv Morgan’s voice - “WE ARE GOING TO MISS OUR FLIGHT BEEBS!” She shouted, and pounded. It was a mad dash to get dressed - Dominik just ended up throwing a pair of his sweets and a hoodie at Rhea, the pair both dressed as casually as they dared. Rhea’s clothes from the night before ended up in Dominik’s luggage, as the pair rushed out of the room and almost knocked Liv down - Dominik caught sight of Rey’s disapproving look from the elevator, as it closed.

“I uh, guess I should mention, I’m not the most adult human at getting to locations…” Dominik watched as Rhea sized him up, before nodding her head, grabbing her suitcase from Liv, and taking off for the next elevator. Dominik shot Liv a wink, the older woman snickered, even as Dominik caught up to Rhea, “Maybe you could be my travel partner? We already work out together…” Rhea shot him a disbelieving look, “Come on, you’d be doing me a favor, I’m helpless.” He pulled out the pouting lip and puppy dog eyes.

“Fine.” Rhea offered, then looked at Liv, “Are you ok with going back to traveling with Raquel?” Liv nodded her head, eyes going between the two of them, “It seems I’ve landed myself a new partner in crime.” It was that sentence that got Dominik thinking about it - he wanted to go heel, he’d talked to Vince about it only to be shot down, but he hadn’t tried his luck at Hutner. Smiling to himself as they rushed to board the plane - Liv and Rhea were sitting together, as Dominik dropped into the seat next to Rey, who was still giving him those dark looks. Yeah, his dad wasn’t an idiot, and would more than likely try to remind him that fucking business partners never ended well for anyone involved, but Dominik wanted, needed to captivate Rhea Ripley, needed to keep her on a metaphorical leash at his side, needed to apply just the right pressure to keep her exactly where he wanted her - and the best way to do that? Play dirty, innocently of course.

The next two weeks - through Clash at the Castle are messy. Really it can be summarized into three categories. 

One, Dominik and Rhea work well as travel partners, something Hunter was initially confused about, but now he’s just glad that Dominik is on time to things. Two, Hunter green-lit the betrayal and now Dominik is in The Judgement Day, which means he’s with Rhea Ripley all the time, even on their days off, because he’s helping her move her belongings (along with Damian and Finn) out of the house she shared with Buddy and ironically into Dominik’s San Diego house, it’s a lot of loading furniture, belongings and jazz in Tampa and shipping it via POD across country. Her pets are a bit of an issue in the onset, but Dominik came through to help her with that too, convincing Aalyah to not only watch over them, but handle the movers bringing Rhea’s things into his house. Sometimes, Dominik caught Damian watching him, and wondered if the older man knew exactly what game Dominik was playing. 

The third biggest hurdle came in the dynamic - the Judgment Day had been Finn, Rhea, and Damian against Edge for a bit; now with Dominik added in, he and Rhea agree for the kayfabe she’s got to be the aggressor (her eyes were huge and she immediately spiraled into a loop of I don’t wanna hurt you, you're my friend, this seems messy only to be silenced with Dominik promising he wouldn’t let it go too far), he and Damian work out a sibling like relationship quickly enough (one that rivals Eddie and Rey, and it’s sweet, sweet justice to see Rey’s face hurt by it sometimes), with Finn it’s both easier and harder, Finn becomes his surrogate father for the dynamic - and that’s the end of those struggles. 

September 2022

“Hey, Rips.” Dominik called as he dropped into the seat next to her on the plane, “You forgot this.” He handed her the new anime she was reading, technically she’d left it on the bedside table of the hotel and he’d have been able to return it before then, but watching her light up like a candle on a red-eye was worth it. It’s been less than two weeks since he was unveiled as the newest member of Judgment Day, everything Rhea owns is tucked away in his house, Aalyah is the most competent dog sitter ever, sending multiple updates a day on Berry and Luna, Dominik’s conquest to be in Rhea’s bed nightly has been successful. There is nothing they don’t share, the shock that it’s only been a month is enough proof to him that Rhea needs him as much as he deserves her, and honestly… They are dynamite together and he’s yet to get her naked, so he’s going to assume it might be death for them both when they do finally cross that barrier, although right now he’s hovering somewhere between best friend and crush, he can tell by how her body responds to him. 

“Thanks, Dom Dom.” She was instantly flipping the book open and back to reading, now curled into his side just enough to be comfortable, he let his hand span over her upper thigh - another thing he’d been tentatively adding to their standard relationship - touching her with no alternative motive. She twitched under him, but nuzzled closer. It started with sharing the bed, if he were being honest, from the night Alexa came and got him. He’d tucked her in, and held her just to keep her close, after that once they were approved road partners, he’d started soft touches, gentle pats to her side, rubs of her shoulders, his hands on her lower back, leaning into her when she was talking, kissing her cheek more than once, stuff that could be construed as friendly, but left an underlying notion of decidedly more. He’d learned how much she missed her family in Australia and had secretly purchased them a small nine-day vacation there (getting Hunter’s approval). He’d gently started reminding her to take care of herself a little bit better, just soft things, he’d even taken to packing their belongings into one rolling suitcase and one backpack - Rhea had been confused until Dom had offered, we share a room, a rental, and plane rides - might as well share luggage. He knew Damian had clocked the change, but the older man had yet to pull him aside and talk to him - Damian had his hands full with Finn as far as Dominik could tell. 

“When we land,” Dominik cleared his throat to get her attention, “We are going to the room first.” She bobbed her head in agreement, “Once we put our stuff down we can either explore, meet up with Damo and Finn, go to the gym or nap.” He’d also learned Rhea liked having choices - not endless options, when presented with the phrase you can do whatever you wanna do she froze up completely, overwhelmed with too many choices. Damian, when Dominik wasn’t nearby, seemed apt to answer for her, he was there to guide her, and Dominik’s worries about their relationship had changed in the last month - they weren’t lovers of any nature, they were twin flames, yes, but platonically. Rhea and Damian were two halves of a whole, and filtered between codependent and each other's biggest fans - he and Finn were quickly becoming that  as well. “Which would work best for you?” It also helped if Dominik phrased it as some sort of goal oriented trade off.

Rhea looked up from her book, contemplatively - he liked her best like this, no makeup, her dark hair sort of falling in her face, all of her jewelry in, his clothes on her frame, while he waited for her answer, he squeezed her thigh comfortingly, “I think it would be fun to do something with Damo and Finn, they landed last night right?” Dominik nodded his head, “Want me to text them and see about grabbing something to eat when we land?”

“That’s a good idea.” Dominik ducked to kiss her shoulder, affectionately, even as she smiled at him, “And, querida, are you cold? Do you need my jacket to rest on or?”

“I’m ok, Dom Dom, thanks.” She breathed out, then flicked her gaze around them, “Can I read some more?” They were in first class, with a divider between them, and still as close as they possibly could be. Dominik nodded his head, and smiled to himself as he watched her start reading again, she’d tucked one knee up into the seat with her, he stretched his arm around her shoulders, moving his hand from his thigh, to fan out over her collarbone, she shivered, he smirked to himself - another thing about his beautiful little conquest, she was touch-starved in a way he hadn’t expected. He’d seen her interact with different levels of affection with other people, but when it came to significant one-on-one touch, she was lacking. He had decided to fix that - and ignore the growing issues with his father (Rey had called Rhea a passing phase). 

He’s been contemplating the best way to kiss her - the intricacies of when to do it, and how to do it. Realistically she’s not completely over the minefield left behind by Buddy, and it’s a big one - Dominik has been slowly and dedicatedly reassuring her that she is delicious and perfect the way she is, complimenting her on the small things (her pretty eyes, her ring awareness, her creative pins, the way she operates in the ring, her goddamn character work - which is frankly amazing), and the big things (how her clothes always fit her perfectly, how she always seems put together, and how she always takes care of everything domestic). So, back to the kissing - while she was growing stronger in her own ways, he was contemplating when it would be a good idea to cage her in and kiss her - ultimately he’s going to have to talk to Damian about it, because if anyone has any idea it’s him - but another part of him thinks it would be best to do it quietly, surprisingly. 

Somehow time marches on, easily and irritatingly. They make it almost to the end of September, with him steadily growing stronger in The Judgment Day (the fans fucking hate him which makes him smirk, the darkness in him seems to feed off the boos and jeers at his nature, the darkness always seems the most content when Rhea’s asleep next to him in bed - when he can study her form, and decide his next subterfuge of affection to secure her place next to his side, indefinitely). The kiss he’d been so worried about, handles itself, ironically. They’d just finished up a RAW taping - they’d kicked AJ’s butt, and had Edge challenge them to an I Quit Match, Rhea was giggling and happy, as she darted into his arms - freshly showered, Dominik caught her as she launched upward, and she still laughing pressed a kiss to his lips, his body reacted on instinct, he coiled his arm under her butt to hold her steady, and let his other hand move to cup the side of her neck, squeezing lightly, her arms had wound around him, legs around him, she seemed unsure as she pulled back eyes wide, “Bésame, otra vez, chica bonita.” She looked at him confused, “I’m going to teach you Spanish if it kills me.” He vowed, “I said, kiss me again, pretty girl…” Rhea blushed, Dominik took three large steps, to press Rhea’s back into the concrete blocks of the arena, and pressed his lips more firmly against hers - it’s not a french kiss, but it is a demanding press of lips. 

Damian cleared his throat, Finn on his back, the larger man rolling their suitcases, “Are you two ready, we have a flight to catch.” Dominik nodded, he didn’t let Rhea down, instead he shifted her to one of his hips, and grabbed the backpack and rolling suitcase handle, trailing along behind Damian, “So, we are flying back to Tampa where are you two headed?”

“I’m taking Rhea home.” Dominik couldn’t stop the possessive lit in his voice, Finn twisted to look at him a bit amazed he was being that bold, “We both wanna play with the dogs, and I think Rhea might want to unpack her stuff the rest of the way.” Dominik looked at Rhea, who nodded her head, and pressed her nose into his cheek, breathing out against his jaw. Dominik tilted enough to kiss her lips again, smiling into it, “And maybe I can show you around San Diego a bit.” He whispered, a plan already forming - he had a handful of friends she should meet, the main one however was his best friend - which was bound to cause a bit of tension, seeing as his best friend was female, but he’d drop that bomb on Rhea, later.

They said goodbye to Damian and Finn at the airport - the men headed for a Delta flight to Tampa, while they were headed for an United flight to San Diego. They changed planes once in one of the middle states, before landing in the early morning. Dominik let Rhea nap in the passenger seat, while he called Cat to let her know they had landed - he had arranged for her to drop off groceries and other provisions for them to be there three days, Cat was also supposed to pick up Aalyah, so when they reached Dominik’s house the only creatures to greet them would be the dogs. He also confirmed that she’d swing by later in the day for him to visit with his god-son, and that she’d dropped off all the roses he’d asked for. Honestly, Cat was the best friend he’d ever had, her husband, his other best friend, was in the Army and overseas more often than not. Cat promised she’d done everything he’d asked, which made him chuckle - when Aalyah had been called away from his house, Cat and Alexander had been more than happy to play with Luna and Berry. 

Dominik had carried Rhea in when they made it, because she was fast asleep - his poor little nightmare had worn herself out. He tucked her in and set about arranging the house the way he needed it - putting the roses evenly in every room, so no matter where she looked there would be red, white and black roses arranged in pretty splays. Then he focused on making breakfast for the pair of them, and starting laundry. Rhea woke up about two hours after they arrived, to find him folding their clothes in the living room with Xander playing with both Berry and Luna, Cat had returned because Dominik had a slight emergency - there were no paper towels in the house, Cat had begrudgingly bought some and brought them over, “You must be Rhea!” Cat smiled warmly, “I’m Cat, and that’s Xander. I’m married to Dom’s best friend Robbie.” She explained and warmly hugged Rhea, Dominik watched the way Rhea tensed for a moment but hugged back, “You're more beautiful in person.” She smiled up at Rhea, “And we are going to take our leave, because I know for a fact you’ve missed your furbabies, Xan, come on baby.” Dominik hugged his nephew and watched him run for his mom - three was a fun age, Cat scooped him up, “Oh, I almost forgot, you're going to be an uncle again, but I haven’t told Robbie yet.” She shot Dominik a smile, “So don’t go telling on me, he’s supposed to be home for the next Premium Live Event, and I think we are coming.” She grinned at him.

Dominik thanked her as he showed her out, then doubled back to find Rhea still standing stock-still from the hug Cat had given her, “That was…” Rhea trailed off, “I’m confused.”

Dominik laughed, “Cat and Robbie are my best friends, Xander is my nephew.” He said evenly, “When Aalyah can’t watch Berry and Luna they do.” He added, “For a while when I first started on the road, she lived here, because Robbie hadn’t been in long for them to have regular base housing, now she and Aalyah live together.” He explained, before looking at Rhea up and down, “Did you sleep good?” She nodded sheepishly, “I made you breakfast, and I finished the laundry, once you’ve eaten and had something to drink, I’ll give you a real tour and then we can work out.” She hugged her dogs for what felt like hours, eating her food as she rubbed their bellies and kissed their snouts. Dominik grinned, he’d shown her a bit of how he was with small creatures, now seeing her with the dogs - he knew he was right. Rhea was his match, now just to get her to agree… For the first time, that afternoon she allowed him to choose their sparing workout, and they might not have pulled the punches, bruising and marking each other up - but there was the added bonus of making out. 

From their sparring session they create a flexible workout, something that both of them can work well within, and that will work well on the road. Dominik hangs on Rhea’s every word, she knows more about fitness than he’s ever cared to learn - he exercises as needed, but she’s a devotee, and he’d be willing to bet that was due in large to Buddy, but now it’s a benefit for them both. The design works them out in a comfortable way, and allows for modifications in weights and rep count, but mostly it allows him to get closer to her, breathing in the sweet scent of her sweat, breathing in her prowess as she works - if ever Dominik were to be addicted to something, he has no doubt it is Rhea Ripley as his kryptonite, the kisses are rewards, and they fluctuated between soft presses of lips, to the harsh bite of teeth and the slide of tongues against one another. September ends, much like it begins, with him confidently melding into not only The Judgment Day but Rhea.

October 2022

October is the significant change - Dominik, while obviously devoted to Rhea, has been more than the driving force behind her violence. Back when they started this, he’d been the one to tell Rhea to make the abuse believable, from her choking him out in the ring, to him encouraging her to make him bleed before Clash at the Castle. Now he’s encouraging her violence against others, not that the outside world really knew that. Reddit has named him subbyDom and while he finds it funny, it couldn’t be further from the truth. The Judgment Day is more than gaining real traction and are actively feuding with not only Rey and Edge, but with the OC thanks to AJ Styles - actually most of the roster (except the Bloodline) are apt to want to kick them down a few pegs. 

Rhea, his little demon, is growing more and more confident - she’s blooming loudly and violently on camera. It’s behind the scenes that Dominik is living for, the moment the cameras are off she’s looking at him with big eyes, “Was that good, Dom?” 

While he hates the question, he always responds positively, painting compliments from nothing, and wrapping them around her. In return she offers him comfort, promises him the boos will subside eventually, but they both know that’s not going to happen anytime soon. Rey, while not one hundred percent understanding of Dominik’s recent bout of choices, is at least understanding of the fact that Dominik and Rhea are something, although he does continue to bring up the ‘mixing pleasure and business is bad’ almost weekly, his father is nothing if not consistent. Aalyah and Cat have wormed their way into Rhea’s life too, with text messages and picture messages, and updates on the dogs - Cat going as far as to send Rhea chocolates and small gifts every now and then - Rhea even has gifts from Xander. 

And Dominik? He’s upped his game.

On camera Rhea’s the one with hands on him, guiding. Back stage, the moment the cameras are off, Dominik backs her into the nearest dark hallway or corner, to press kiss her senseless, he’s patient and understanding but demanding and always has a hand on her. Under his touch she flourishes, she smiles wider, she blushes more, her laughter is back (according to Damian, Liv and Alexa). More than that, he’s taken over a bit more of her overall being - without meaning too, he’s not sure when it happened, but Rhea started asking him opinions on everything, he gives them happily, always eager to see how the choice being made for her seems to calm her down. He even learned to dye her roots for her, which was a fun experience that he’s sure he’s going to repeat multiple times. October also brings Rhea wearing more and more of his clothes - her room in San Diego remains unoccupied, as each trip back she attempts to sneakily put more of her belongings into his room, like he wouldn’t invite her if she asked - but he’s sure she’s not going to ask, so after the Halloween RAW, he holds her tight in the hotel room, pinning her against the door, “Rhea.”

“Dom?” She sounded worried, like she was in trouble.

“Why don’t we stop pretending, you should move into my bedroom at home.” He kept his gaze on her, voice steady, “You belong in my bedroom at home, at our home, do you understand?”

“Yes.” She started to look away but he caught her chin, “Dom?”

“You like how I take care of you, don’t you?” He could hear the danger bleeding into his tone, but didn’t bother to pull it back, she nodded her head quickly, “You want me to keep taking care of you, Demi?” He used her legal name which made her eyes widen, her pretty mouth opened in a shocked ‘o’, but she nodded, “Then you need to tell me when you want things, cariño, do you understand.” She nodded again, “I want you to say it, Rhea.” 

“I understand, Dom.” She whispered, eyes still wide, “I want… I want you to take care of me.”

“What else?” He pressed closer, pushing his chest to hers, caging her in.

“I want to be in your bedroom at the house, uh, at our house.” Her eyes widened a little more as she said it, Dominik rewarded her with a kiss that promised more if she were interested. She pulled back after a moment, exhaling sharply to look up at Dominik with a determined sheen to her eyes, “I want… I want you.” She said evenly, “I want…” She bit at her bottom lip.

Dominik had been waiting for this moment - three months of working hard, he knew he’d have more work to put in, but for a captivating demon like Rhea, he was willing to work his whole life to keep his prize with him, “Want me to what cariño?” He asked, curiously, daring her to tell him.

She flicked her gaze away, face flushing red, “I wanna be yours.” She finally pushed out, “Damian told me, he mentioned…” She trailed off, “You wanna keep me, right?”

Dominik would need to talk to Damian, but he dipped forward to kiss her again, “I want to keep you, I want you to be mine, but I want to be yours, too.” He promised her, “So, if you're interested, I’d like to show you all the perks of being mine.”  Rhea gazed up at him, as he towered a bit over her, still pressed impossibly close, her eyes had narrowed, like she was working out the layers to his statement - and there were many. Dominik had basically asked her to be his, to let him own her in a way that was probably scary, and in the same breath he’d propositioned her, he tilted to the side and flicked his gaze back toward the bed, “We can go at your pace, Rhea.” He promised, evenly, “I will never make you do something you don’t want to do, and I will never hurt you intentionally. I’m not you're past relationships, and I have no intention of becoming one.”

She licked her lips, biting into her bottom one, as she eyed him critically, “Forever then?”

“I would like forever, but I’ll settle for right now.” He offered, watching her carefully, she was breaking down in front of him, “Rhea, let me take care of you.” The power was racing up his spine, the darkness, he could feel it in his voice, in the way she trembled against him, how she pressed even closer, clearly fighting with herself, “Demi,” He said her name with emphasis, “Let me take care of you, I’ve always taken care of you, remember in July when you started to work out again, but no one wanted to spar with you because they weren’t sure about you're injury.” He touched her jaw, “I offered, didn’t I? I just want the best for you.” He assured her, “Let me give you my best, please?”

There was a stretch of silence between them, before she nodded her head, he narrowed his eyes at her and started to remind her to use her words, but she was quick to say, “I want that, I want, I want you.” She rolled her shoulders a bit, “Can we… can we do that now?” 

Check-mate. Dominik grinned, “Of course we can, cariño, I’ve been dying to put my hands and my lips and my tongue on you…” The statement made her giggle and flush again, even as Dominik softly backed off of her, and tugged her a little toward him, but away from the doorway, “But we have plans with our friends for clubbing, so it’s going to have to wait, baby.” Her pout should frankly be illegal but they do have plans with Liv, Damian, Finn, Raquel, Alexa, Askua, Seth, Becky, and countless others. “When we get back, cariño, I promise to reward you, ok? But you put this pretty dress on, and you're legs are delicious, and you already have my jacket on, which makes me wanna pin you against every surface…” Dom had donned dark jeans and a deep blue button up for the night.

Rhea pouted on and off for the next three hours, but she had fun with Liv and Alexa, even with Becky - always finding Dominik’s eyes across the room. “She’s yours.” Damian sounded beside him, “I’ve never seen her trust like she does with you, so you either did something incredibly right, or there is something about you I am missing.” Dominik shrugged, “I approve, as long as you keep her happy and satiated.” Dominik could agree with that, as he turned to say as much to Damian he found the man gone. 

November and December 2022

Hunter wanted them to up the drama, so they did - with tapings and attacks on Rey. That wasn’t the only place things amped up, their relationship was now running steady and fast, really Dominik couldn’t wait to introduce her to his grandparents but because of the messy Christmas recordings he’d had to wait until almost New Years. He met her family in Australia not long after that, he’d won her mother over with his kindness and eager willingness to help her in the kitchen, he won her sister over with tales of Xan and the dogs back at home as well as pictures of him with Cat and Aalyah, her father was a tough cookie, but he managed to win Mr. Bennett over simply by being his usual possessive self when it came to Rhea, which involved him and Buddy getting into a bit of an altercation in Melbourne, but whatever, he’d handled it. After Christmas they’d spent a couple days with Cat and Aalyah, Dominik had watched Rhea like a hawk, there, he wanted to see how she interacted with his sister and his best friend, when she met Robbie in early January, the pair hit it off - her and Xan were never far apart, slowly Rey and Angie came around, and started to invite Rhea in more. Dominik knew he was in love with her when he caught her cooking with both his mother and abuela.

April, 2023

His thoughts were interrupted as Rhea twisted in the sheets. The sun was well and truly up now in California. They had had a long night, coming of WrestleMania with her winning her match, but him losing his - he was proud of her and had literal years to deal with his Rey-shaped feud - so proud they hadn’t made it out of the stadium before their night had started, with him pinning her against a wall, and slipping his hand down the back of her pants as he kissed her until she couldn’t breathe properly, before trailing his lips down her neck and biting hard, she’d cum the first time there. 

Panting and weak even as he’d half carried her to the rental SUV - they hadn’t perfected any sort of sex in the rentals yet, they were both tall and it was borderline uncomfortable, usually with a gear shifter in someone's back or thighs - it was a work in progress. They had, however, managed to successfully find dark corners in most of the arenas they worked in, to either fuck or play - Rhea liked wearing his bruises, and the cute little Mami collar she had started wearing the rings he had bought for her, well he’d bought about thirty since she had a habit of damaging them, or breaking them. 

He quickly climbed back into bed with her, not wanting her to wake up alone, he curled around her, and nuzzled into her short hair, “Good morning, sweetheart.” Dominik kissed her shoulder blades, Rhea grumbled in her sleep, she hated waking up, especially after a long night of work followed by what she lovingly called marathon sex, he double checked the bedside table to make sure her fruit punch gatorade and her favorite cookies (brought over from Australia) were within her reach, “You look beautiful in this light, baby.” He promised as he kissed her shoulders again. 

“Papi, let me sleep more.” She begged, even as his kisses turned harder, his hands which had been innocently rubbing her sides to wake her up, had trailed lower to rub her hips, “Paaaapi.” She whined, as he laughed, and rolled her over. “Dom-” He cut her off with a kiss.

“I love you.” He whispered into the kiss, “Mami, please, let me love you this morning.” He muttered even as he pressed more kisses to her face, “I promise to be soft.” He added when she let out another little whine, he drug his nose along her throat, biting over her pulsepoint, “We have to do press in a little bit, I don’t want you to stress too much while we are there…” 

Rhea let out a pearl of giggles, as he ticked her side, “I love you too, Papi, please-” He kissed her again, he hadn’t told her yet, but he was going to marry her, he’d already picked out the ring, he smiled into the skin of her neck, and aggressively snuggled her. Dominik smiled harder, it was going to be a great day.

#Dominik Mysterio x Rhea Ripley #Dark!Dominik Mysterio #rhea ripley #the judgment day fanfic #wwe fanfiction #mondaynightraw

[phantomram-b00]

So I realize I never did an introduction before, untillll now as spooky season is here so why not make-

Boo!

Gotcha >:) but as I was saying, I thought why not make one now, (and maybe one day I might make those meet the artist, let see)

Soooo, spooky to meet you, I’m Phantomram…BOO

Sorry had to again. But you can call me Phantom or Ram; whichever you prefer or all together, hey, the world is your oysters. Or ostrich. Just a shy yet very talkative ghost that love to talk about good omens. If you ever wanted to talk, you can just please be mindful, I am shy and not the best with conversations but I’m happy to talk. And uh, if you ever want to ask me question whether to get to know be better or ask anything about good omens, Ahh you can ask in the ask my anything box ^^ but I will reveal info here starting now!

About me:

-Age: 21 (or as my family member say, I’m old.)

-Zodiac: I’m an April Aries!

-MBTI: INFP

-🇵🇷

-height: 5’3 (I’mma fun-sized ghost)

- just to add as I wasn’t comfortable at the time but now I am, I’m autistic ^v^

My scary interest:

-GOOD OMENS! (I love this show and also the book as I’m slowly reading it. I’ve watch this back in 2019/2020? And I love it and waited when the second season came and it did and now I’m loving this show and now going to wait patiently for season 3. But for now, this is my main hyperfixation, and I can’t get enough of it. I love it. But I promise I do have other interest to so let continue 😅)

- Art/drawing/(sometimes) writing

- magic/fantasy

- music (my music taste is haha complicate.)

- books (I love them, I wish my attention span a bit better but I do love a good read.)

- horror movies

- dnd

- oversized jackets! (Specifically the one with the zippers) or trench coats.

- mythology.

- Halloween

-Broadway/Movies/Shows

Shows/movies/books/games I love:

- Good omens (love love love!)

- Little shops of horrors

- Soul eater

- Coraline (I do wanna read the book tho)

- Star Wars (I seriously still need to catch up to watch Ahsoka aahhhh! 😭)

- Transformers

- Sally Face

- Percy Jackson (haven’t finished reading but I do like it so far and I can’t wait for the show coming up)

-murder drones

- FNAF (yes I’m excited for the movie coming out, I’ve been waiting for this movie since middle school-)

- MK (mortal Kombat)

- owl house/Amphibia/ducktales/Svtfoe

-TMNT (edit: because I forgot to add this Idek how I forgot this)

And more that I can’t think of. I can’t collect them all, I’m not ash Ketchum or any Pokémon trainer. I’m just a ghost on the internet let me have this.

Four random fact about me:

- when it came to doing the MBTI test, my introvert was almost 100%.

- despite being Latine/Latinx I can’t speak Spanish to save my life 😅

- my mom once banned coraline because it was “too scary”

- I learn about zodiac because of animal crossing of all things

“Can I use the ask me anything?”/dm you?: yes! You can ^^ I know some used it (for the ask me anything at least), but if you want to ask me anything go right ahead. I’m happy to answer (almost) anything you like. As for the dm, sure, especially if you’re a mutual I have here, you can ^v^, just all I ask is please be respectful and be mindful. That literally all I ask from you :))

However what I do not allow on this page and imma make this very clear: if you are racist, homophobic, transphobic or just bottom line don’t care about humans rights or any rights at all. Please go and do fucking better and leave me and my fellow ghostly pals alone. Please and thank you very much.

‼️BOUNDRIES: please do not use my ama for donations ask as scammers are using this tactic. If you disrespect this, I will ignore or delete your ask. Please use my AMA for anything else. Any questions. Please don’t cross this boundaries ‼️

And uhh, I guess that’s all. Have a spooky Friday 🤭

#intro post #introductory post #hi 😅 #this was probably long overdue but it here now #hi tumblr #phantomram-b00 #might make a meet the artist

[spacelion-loveshermulletson]

Okay! So I was making a post before about making playlists etc about Usagi's relationship (both platonic and romantic) with each turtle brother. Leosagi and Donsagi are both easy as I'm a huge fan of both and the there's a lot of great fancontent that help me too.

However, I am lowkey stuck when it comes to Raphsagi and Mikesagi as I haven't thought about them as pairings before really (and usually I put Usagi as closer friend with both Leo and Donnie as well) and there's not much fancontent either to get inspiration from. Not romantically NOR platonically.

So I am a bit curious now, are there anyone with any thoughts/headcanons for these pair-ups? If so PLEASE send some my way! It would be so much fun to imagine possible dynamics with them.

I have a few and I will put them under the cut:

Hope to get anyone jumping onto this too~!

I haven't fully decided to the Rise!version of Usagi yet, I have a lot of different versions of him honestly, so he will be different for both of these kinda. 2 different versions I have that each fit a little better with different turtles lmao.

First, Raphsagi:

1. I'm imagining this Rise!Usagi to be close to the Miymoto Usagi version, slightly more mature (compared to Yuichi for example) but still joining in on goofy stuff etc. and can be a good match for Raph in his older sibling role and be a source of calm an comfort for the oldest brother to turn to at times.

2. He'd still have a close relationship with Leo (it is basically a LAW that those 2 are friends at this point! I refuse to skip it!), but maybe it will be closer to a training buddy and bestie/extra sibling like April, or something similar.

3. Raph would probably be a bit uncomfortable around Usagi at first due to his fear of rabbits (specifically the doll, but the trauma left scars and he's working through his phobia), however with time Usagi will become a comfort for him and then basically becoming his therapy-cuddles partner. Imagine that!

4. THAT SIZE DIFFERENCE THO??!!! So cute, love it. I love the thought of Usagi cuddling in Raph's lap or hanging off of his arm or back etc. Idk why I am so amored by this dynamic for characters BUT I AM.

Next, Mikesagi:

1. This Usagi might be similar to Yuichi or simply just a younger, more shy version of Miyamoto.

2. He's easily excited, but tries to kerp it in as he doesn't think it's fitting of his Samurai(-to-be) role, however he easily gets dragged into whatever shenanigans the brothers wants to do and is especially attached to Mikey and his bubbly personality. He also looks up to Leo as a swordsman and the 2 often spar together.

3. He really enjoys keeping Mikey company when he cooks or does art and crafts. And he likes hanging out in Donnie's lab, simply watching the older turtle work with things Usagi simply does not understand. It's interesting though so the rabbit sticks around and tries to not get in the way of things.

- The more mature version of Usagi would adore Mikey as his own younger brother and he'd probably let him get away with a lot of stuff he would normaly give Leo/others side eye for.

Well, that's what I have.

I need to come up with way more of a dynamic with both of these. Wish me luck!

.....

.....What have I gotten myself into?

#tmnt #rottmnt #usagi miyamoto #rottmnt usagi #rise usagi #rise!usagi #usagi and the turtles

[fatuismooches]

Hello smooches, its been a while. I hope that you are doing well (also pls don't push urself too hard) 🙏 sorry for disappearing (again) and not answering ur question since i'm taking the past few weeks to recuperate from my illness, and now i feel a lot better! The doctors said that i can finally go back home around mid-April to early May after 6 more examinations (i really want to go back home, i'm dead bored staying in this glass room 💀 bcs i can't do anything besides watching doctors and nurses going back and forth, reading fics, watch yt videos and play games on my phone)

Okay, now back to ur question about "have i watch the theory about Capitano being the Bloodstained Knight" and the answer is yes, i watched and read a LOT of that theory around the internet. Its really fascinating! Also, there are some theories that Capitano is Imunlaukr from Sal Vindagnyr (iirc its from Dragonspine?) One of the founding clans of Mondstadt. And then there's "Menogias (the Geo Yaksa) = Capitano" Theory too. There are a lot of theories about him still going around to this day 😂 and i just consume all of it

Also //leaks\\

have u seen some Capitano crumbs on Mika's character story going around lately? When he saw Capitano, even with that helmet of his, it is described that Capitano have "eerily dark blue eyes that 'glows' with an uncanny aura". His EYES literally "GLOWS" 😶 at this point, is he even a human now?? 😭 mans got that "glow in the dark" eyes. That is REALLY cool but also very scary.

Just imagine u were walking in Snezhnaya's forest at night trying to find some wood for ur kitchen fuel and then u accidentally came across this man, looking straight into ur soul with his glowing dark blue eyes 💀💀

I think i'll have a massive brainrot over this newfound info about him omg u give me a small 🤏 crumb about him, i'll go feral and unable to sleep at night and will thinking about him non-stop for WEEKS 😭 (i think i understand why my siblings wanted me to stop playing Genshin until i fully recover lol 😅)

Anyways, i really hope u have a very nice day and don't forget to take care of yourself smooches 🛐💞 i can't wait to see more of ur works and random rambles with other anons and users!

-🥝

HI MY LOVE!!

I’m so glad to see you in my messages again💕🙏 And don’t even worry about it, I’m very happy you’re doing better and don’t push yourself either☺️☺️

Hehe I should have known you watched it, you are literally the Capitano connoisseur 😅!! I never heard of those over two theories until now, I read a bit up on them and I would have never thought of that… I still like the Bloodstained Knight one the best. It sounds the most possible to me…

*Mika Character story leaks below (it’s just one detail abt Capitano tho😭)

I actually didn’t know until you told me😭😭 I’m surprised no one is really talking about it BECAUSE IT’S LITERALLY AMAZING???!! CAPITANO CRUMB HELLOOO? I’m so glad we know his eye color now, it’s only a little piece of info but I still devoured it🙏 I genuinely cannot wait for an official art/cutscene with the glowing eyes, he’ll look so majestic! And tbh, I’m not sure, I think he may be human but with an extended lifespan? Either way he’s so…😍😍 But yes you’re so right I’d be panicking so hard if I just saw him staring at me like that.

But ahem… imagine those eerie eyes become soft when he looks at you 🥺 I can’t help but think about his normally narrowed analyzing eyes that usually scares everyone become gentle with you. At first he didn’t even know he did that until you pointed it out 💞 He gets embarrassed about the things he does unconsciously around you 💞I also have this random hc that when he gets shy he clears his throat embarrassedly 

I’ll definitely be brainrotting with you over this 🥝 anon omg he’s so cute🥺. But WAIT MAKE SURE TO GET YOUR SLEEP OKAY YOU NEED THAT!!😭💗💗ILYYYY I HOPE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY TOOOOO <33

#smooches talks #🥝 anon #the no.1 capitano lover <3333

[maudfs]

It's that time again for the summary of art! 2022 is on its way out and it was certainly a year...

This was the year of the water tiger in the Chinese Zodiac. I enjoy using Zodiac things as prompts AND my birth year was of the tiger, so that is January's image. I used the lasso tool for a lineless look, it was fun.

February's image is a bunch of air type raptors of a species I have been thinking of for a while. I was trying to flesh out what markings they would have and what kinds of color morphs might exist. (front to back: rare (sunset), common (blue-jay), melanistic (dark), leucistic (light), and albino) Of course they are not finished (I guess headworlds are never really finished) but I would like to someday update my websites bestiary with all the characters and species I've created and these would be one of the featured ones.

March's image is for an Ovipets challenge that I won! It is a Catus with butterfly wings looking at butterflies in a field of clover.

In April I made a bunch of shuffle-style icons and little sprites for my characters for things like their toyhouse pages or my website... so basically a bunch a stuff that won't get posted by itself.

For May here is a sketch of Fulvina from Spectrobes (the thing my Fulvina is named after! I had to draw it eventually, but) I didn't finish it at the time because I was having trouble with the lines, though I do plan on finishing it. Spectrobes as a whole could use some more love!

June's image is Amdy as a Unicorn, as I was seeing Junicorn challenges but didn't want to draw something every single day. I also chose this because well, why do I have so many so-called shapeshifters yet I only draw them in one form? I should show what else they can do!

July is ArtFight month and this time around I found some very cool characters to draw including a dragon named Colors! This was very fun to draw.

August I created a character called Daemon, seen here. Haven't really fleshed him out much though XD.

September Flight Rising released a gene called Soap that makes the dragon extra shiny, and I knew I had to draw it. What better than a vaporwave dragon? Flight Rising has released a LOT of stuff this year now that I think about it!

For October, a WIP of Alban... didn't finish much this month. I wanted to draw some Halloween images and make a bat-sona but that didn't happen in time. Somewhat related, this is the third year in a row I started to feel depressed beginning in October and into the winter, DESPITE loving Halloween and colder weather, so I'm wondering if that's a sign of seasonal depression or something? Yeah.

November's image is more Ovipets, this time dogs (Canis and Lupus) playing in fallen leaves. Used lots of different CSP brushes in this one. (For the single purchase version, of course... as if I'd deal with a monthly subscription for an art program... I don't know who thought THAT was a good decision)

December I finished this piece of Cygnet. I was going to try to draw more for December, but the sheer cold of this country wide snowstorm(!) seems to have put me in hibernation mode, so I'm gonna go ahead and finish with this.

Now's also a good time to say that I still don't mess with ΝFТ's or АI art, (I don't consider either of these things to be “art” and I don't have the energy to argue about it) so I've been experimenting with new watermarks to try and combat that in a subtle way... still watching Twitter catch fire. Still wearing a mask (end date: undefined). Still love playing Legends Arceus... STILL too shy to socialize!! Come on, that's gonna end up being my new year's resolution for like, every year! Gosh XD But I must continue to try... I must..!

As always, thank you for coming by and reading. :3

#maudfs #summaryofart #summaryofart2022

[camillewasthere]

april 28 2024

It's 10pm and I'm about to get high. In a few weeks i'll be 32 years old. What a wild time.

When I got back from the gym today I was looking at baby pictures of Jannika and I. I look at baby version of me and I get kinda sad. I'm looking at a girl with not a clue what's in store. I want to protect the baby version of me from the world. It's sad to realize how things happen. That in order to be a well rounded person, you have to experience all things.

One memory I think about a lot when I was a child was when I got little papers, scissors and random art supplies and put it in a little ziploc. I wanted to hide it for some reason. I don't know who would want to look for a ziploc bag of art supplies. I decided to hide it on top of my uncle/grandma's vanity which was high as fuck. Probably a foot awat from the ceiling. When I tried to hide it, the bag fell. And I never found it again.

I was such a shy child. I always made sure to be mindful. To be aware. I was always watching everyone else. Always conscious of the space I took. Never feeling part of the crowd. Somehow always fake. Just observing. I love baby me. And I think if baby me knew the person I would become, she would be proud. She would want me to be happy and chose the road that brings fulfillment. She would probably think I was pretty. She would probably watch me do my makeup. She would be content with just being there with me.

I have been in my head a lot lately. Constantly strategizing. Thinking about what's next. What move is the right move. It's funny how much it consumes me. But how little I convey on the outside. People only see the product but never realize how long the process took.

Moving up to the bay area has been weighing heavily on my mind. Last time I went to visit I remember how much I liked being there. It felt more home-y to me.

Cons: It's colder Bears on hikes lol Probably more expensive Miss Daniela!

Pros: Better food Paid more Shady hikes Probably find the loml lol New cities to explore Easy way to go north or south to go on trips Less white people lol

Wow putting it out on a list like this actually makes it seem way more desirable. I can't wait to find a place I can furnish. With a washer dryer. No carpet. I'm so excited.

Before I end this I do want to at least talk about how i've been feeling.

It's been almost 6 months since the break up. He's still living here until our lease is over at the end of June. It's a conflicting feeling. Every day that gets closer, the more nervous I get about the plan with the dogs. But when I think about him being gone, all I can feel is excited. It's like I can finally be free of that energy. I can't wait to fix up my space. To be in my thoughts alone at home. So happy I have the dogs to protect me and keep me company. I don't really feel lonely. I know that will likely change once he's actually out of here. But for a long time before we broke up I was already doing so many things alone. It's liberating to be single honestly. I have almost zero desire to be with anyone. I say almost because I continue to be intrigued by the idea of Lori and Bre's friend and I being together. I don't want to imagine this as something more than it is, which is literally nothing lol. But it does seem like a possibility. I have to let my mind leave it at that. Old me would continue to obsess. New me wants to focus on what is good for me. What will make me happy. Because ultimately I want to be able to be so content with myself that anyone who seeks after me will only be an addition. I've settled for soooo long with too many guys that weren't right for me, whether they were good or bad. There's a reason they all didn't work out. Including long lost air force man. I need to allow my brain to understand that concept. The common denominator with all of those relationships is me. My physical self would constantly make deals with my emotional self that would lead to me staying for longer than I should have.

What's wild is, despite all the break up's i've had, I think the one with flannel mustache boy was the worst of the worst. Thinking about that relationship makes me wanna throw up to be honest. He was so handsy and gross. So flashy. Literally i'm barfing right now imagining how others saw us.

Anyway, yeah I'm stoked to be on my own. I love being home alone. Having a space all to myself is gonna be such a nice little vacation.

xx me

[lizzylucky]

I posted 335 times in 2022

That's 309 more posts than 2021!

31 posts created (9%)

304 posts reblogged (91%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@silverdragonms

@massk

@twink-between-worlds

@telemna-hyelle

@bokettochild

I tagged 209 of my posts in 2022

Only 38% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 91 posts

#linked universe - 62 posts

#lu - 53 posts

#linkeduniverse - 47 posts

#lu four - 44 posts

#fanart - 39 posts

#rottmnt - 27 posts

#lu hyrule - 16 posts

#art - 15 posts

#four - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and then decided that i liked the art style ao much on its own that i would rather acroll through everything until i found this piece again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

My friend reminded me that I haven't posted this on Tumblr yet, so 👉👈

I drew a Four like a week ago and then coloured it the other night because Drawing Four Makes Things Better Always and he's just my favourite so why NOT

99 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#4

Dot might be my favourite Linked Universe Zelda... So I decided to draw her for the first time, and digitally to boot...

THIS TOOK ME 10 HOURS. But man, if I were the only one who liked it in the end I'd still call it worth it ✨

122 notes - Posted May 23, 2022

#3

So I finally gave in and bought Encanto's Three Sisters book. (it wasn't even $10 if anyone was thinking about it)

And OH MY GOSH IT'S SO CUTE!!

I'm not even half done reading it, but there are already so many little things it talks about that aren't obvious (at least to me) from watching the movie.

For example, it clarifies that Antonio is just SO shy and quiet all the time, up until he gets his gift. All three sisters have thoughts regarding this that sum up to the idea that receiving your gift in the Madrigal family just helps you to be *more* yourself, and believe it helped Antonio open up.

Mirabel, much more often, and in thought, feels remorseful about not having a gift. Isabela views recieving your gift as a sort of qualifier for being a Madrigal, like you can't truly be an integrated member of the family until you have yours, but even then counts Mirabel as an exception.

And, man, I can't even TELL you... Poor Luisa!!! She's so busy and stressed and anxious all the time!!! During Antonio's day, she's sent to set up fireworks around back, but she has to clear the area of brush and leaves first, and then some of the foliage needs trimming, and she's spending the entire afternoon between chores and taking people's wagons and donkeys to the side of the house for the event, and she has to bring in seating and set up furniture and decorations, and Abuela TOLD her to put the piano in the courtyard, and THEN told her to take it upstairs, and she is literally just busy, busy, busy until her Mother calls her for the start of Antonio's ceremony, feeling out of the blue because Luisa didn't realize how much time had passed through all that. Two or three times she thought maybe someone wanted a hug and then actually it was another chore or a prank or something and she's just so disappointed.

Not to mention the following day; reroute the river, fix the leaning house, move the church to the left, actually back to the right, now find the donkeys... Of course we know those already, but then one of the donkeys literally pees on her shoe, and apparently someone wanted the plaza repaved and Alma VOLUNTEERS Luisa without the poor girl even being there for it.... Just give this girl a break and a hug! It's all she wants!

(She literally has the best hugs, this isn't even a theory, she mentions it like twice just to this point 😭)

Also, can I just mention the fact that Isabela made a daisy chain necklace for Mirabel on her 5th birthday? And a little flower crown for Luisa on hers, too, because she was stressed out?

Furthermore, Isa isn't portrayed quite so stuck-up as she appears in the first half of the movie. I'd like to think that this is just a matter of perspective and none of what we see her as is really how she is, because she's just so nervous and stressed... Like, she loves her sisters! But she genuinely feels so nervous about how her Abuela sees her, and to no particular fault she just thinks that the things Mirabel goes on about, like cracks in Casita's walls, are made up, and she even envies how much more useful a gift like super strength is compared to her own, or how much less would be expected of her if she simply didn't have a gift.

Really, she does love her family! She wanted to comfort Mirabel when Abuela went to see the nonexistent cracks in the courtyard, but was scared that it would be misinterpreted and she would be judged harshly for it. Yes she cares very much about her image, even turning down a messier treat made by Julieta in order to keep her dress clean, but she does this because she was the first grandchild and knows that Abuela expects her to be the perfect forefront image of the family, something that is stressed all the time.

This isn't even the half of it, and I've not even *read* the half of it! I'm telling you, there are so many new details that the book adds to what we know of the characters and I love how much more depth it provides with a simple change in perspective. I could just go on and on, really.

123 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

#2

Last of The Six Old LU Pencil Arts! One more Four (favourite? No I don't pick favourites pfft), this time in battle stance. This one was actually based on a panel from the Comic, so I had a reference to go on. I wanted to practice poses and study Four's structure a bit. So, Ta-Da!

134 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Minish Four!!! Just because I can 😃

I HAD TO

Little paws and little feather tail and big ol' ears 🥺😭

314 notes - Posted May 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E133 (April 13, 2021)

(Little distracted tonight! Please excuse any and all omissions.)

Tonight’s guests on Good Morning Quebec are Marisha Ray and Travis Willingham!

How are Beau and Fjord feeling about their leadership responsibilities among the Nein? Marisha: “Beau has always admired Fjord and respected his ability to speak like an adult. It does feel like-- are Beau and Fjord the only adults in the room?” Travis points out Caduceus and Caleb’s leadership as well. “In that conversation, at least, just because I want it to be a tiny bit meta, a lot of it’s just mindset. Fjord knows that Beau is a world-breaker, can kick that ass, and the idea that part of the focus would be diverted towards how can we get out here, it was feeling a little bit more like we’re done for rather than we can do this. It was his way of doing the old coach reminder of stop thinking of the ways you’re going to get out of this and start thinking of the ways you’re going to dominate this.” Marisha mentions that Beau and Travis are kind of the two who aren’t saying goodbyes, and yet they’re two of the only ones who just have the Nein. “Even Caleb was allowed to say goodbye to his cat! We don’t even have that. It’s just the Nein. They are the ultimate goodbyes for us, if it comes to that. But hopefully it won’t come to that.” Travis: “There’s a certain drive that comes with not having wrapped it up in a pretty bow.”

On Fjord’s decision to have the Rangers engage: “Yeah, that one stings. I was suffering from the good ol’ regurts almost as soon as it happens. I realized it was just Essek and Fjord, and he was just asking me, and boy there were a lot of horseshit RP things going around my head.” He kept in mind that the captain has to be decisive and focus on his people. “I in no way thought of Dagon at all. Fuck, did I send Dagon to his death? Did that headstrong dude go, nah, I’ll do my own thing and get out of there? I hadn’t really experienced that kind of instant regret in a gameplay situation yet. But in leadership moments, or when you have to make a decision like that, sometimes it’s important to take a fucking minute and think about what you’re doing. Even in D&D. I wish I had taken a moment to say, how far away are they? If you engage them from afar, can you slow them down long enough? Set an ambush if you can, but at least be at max.”

On Beau’s meditation attempt that ended in contact with Lucien: “I think I know exactly what he was trying to do. He was trying to put another fuckin’ eye somewhere on me. I was remembering Keyleth putting her hand in the spinning black orb of death under the Ziggurat and I rolled a natural twenty.” Travis asks if she thinks she and Caleb are “next up in the queue” now that so many of the Tombtakers are dead. “Yeah. I’m gonna get turned.” Travis: “I’ll kill you real good, Beau. I’ll take Caleb first because he made me promise, but I’ll get you good, too.”

On Fjord now having more information about Vandren: “I love it. I feel like such a fuckin’ moron. It never occurred to me for one second that a shipwrecked person that survived would have maybe just wound up on the nearest island. Nope. Didn’t even bother to do the Castaway grid and check the nearest body of land. I’m a fuckin’ terrible D&D player.” Fjord washed up extremely far away from the wreck. “I love that he’s there. I cannot wait to go find him and have a conversation. I just don’t know which will come first: going to Darktow and confronting Sabien or going to see Vanden. But both of those things are on the list, for sure. Just for closure, I mean, damn.” Brian asks if Fjord is okay with Jester having reached out. “Yeah, totally. Fjord is a big dummy in a lot of ways.” He mentions that Fjord has a lot of ideas in his head about what it means to “be a man” that keeps him from asking for help when he needs it. “When Jester did that, it just reaffirmed his feelings for her and how she feels for him. It’ll take those kind of people in his life to help him along to the things that he wants when he’s too stupid or shy to acknowledge it himself.”

How about that alliance with Essek? Marisha: “Here’s the thing. Beau wasn’t like, ooh, allying with Trent, that’s icky because of moral reasons. It’s not that. The more allies, the better in this moment. Teaming up with Magneto kind of situation. But Beau’s whole concern was is this going to distract you from the overall mission. I couldn’t imagine walking alongside someone who had just tortured me in the way that Trent has. We spent so many episodes watching Caleb have these post-traumatic flashes of when he lit his family on fire. Caleb’s a shotgun, he’s such a good damage-dealer, and if he can’t cope with it. That was Beau’s concern.” Travis: “And just to go along with your Magneto reference, Essek is one powerful person. Trent brings the acolytes. But we recognize that if we stop the Tombtakers and Lucien then we probably have to stop Trent and the Vollstruckers. But I wanted to open it to Caleb, because we gotta face that motherfucker at some point.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Yasha! (krisjaded on Instagram, photography by adambenfer on Instagram)

On Beau’s plan to put a possible eavesdropper off their trail at Pumat’s: “I mean, everything is a long shot.” Taliesin suggested the idea. “I said Darktow because I thought, hey, if he tries to follow us to Darktow, he’ll probably get murdered. He’ll never make it back. We have no idea. It could have been completely transparent, or maybe he’ll be stupid enough to actually try it.”

Fan Art of the Week: a lovely Caduceus! (by arcanum.dice on Instagram)

How’s the relationship with Yasha been going? “It’s so new! And fresh and weird, and she’s trying to remember to be like, oh, that’s right! You’re my girlfriend! I owe you some attention, that’s right. It’s nice to have somebody. We were talking about not really having anyone to say goodbye to in this round of goodbyes, Beau is looking to the future and those relationships are keeping her afloat.”

On seeing more of Aeor, looking forward to it? Travis: “I really want them dead first. If collections of explorers and expeditions from the Cerberus Assembly and the Dynasty have turned up stuff they don’t know what to do with yet, what the fuck are a bunch of chuckle-dicks like us going to do with it?” They’re interested in a distant sort of way - there are bigger issues at hand.

Travis mentions that he’s never been quite so emotionally invested in the game before and notes that was at the root of his competitive attitude at the end of the last episode. “The lines were so blurred in that way. It’s just a testament to the never-ending learning process that comes from this game that I underestimated my entire life.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[moxfirefly]

This comes as result of an idea and going through some hard times as of late. The reader here has their issues but hey we aren’t inherently perfect and I like getting into that mindset and seeing what comes up. So consider this somewhat introspective piece when a ‘relationship’ maybe isn’t the best.

Mikey x Fem!Reader

Rated Mature/Angst/Feels (18+ Only)

“I am human and I need to be loved”

A lifespan isn’t enough to understand that love is a complicated emotion. It’s addicting caress can remain in ones soul for ages. Love is kind they say, but what of those moments where it’s not? When the heart strangles itself and you choke on desperation?

Love isn’t perfect, that very imperfection glued us to those we worship. That hurt can be addicting as well.

He’s aware of it, he knows that his innocence only hides a questioning.

Because Mikey has gotten so good at hiding those dark parts that linger like shadows in his brain. There’s pain behind that smile, there’s sadness hidden beneath the foundation he’s lain.

You see it, you’re aware of it.

You can’t help but feel ashamed you’re the cause of it.

You want to take ownership of it but every time your mouth opens that tightness in your jaw increases. Before the words can be processed you’re doing most of the speaking with your hands.

And your lips.

Mikey’s never denied you, the thought of rejection paralyzes him so profoundly he aches. But it would be unwise to state there isn’t any trace of doubt. He’s mindful of your distaste for love, that you aren’t a believer. He’s mindful of what cracks inside of him when you flirt your way through the day. He’s at the forefront but he isn’t unwise to the way you linger a hand on Leo’s arm or how your eyes light up when April walks into a room.

Your eyes have that same bright hue when he’s the target. When it’s the two of you and your fingers map out a path on his thigh. It’s so palpable in the air that surrounds the two of you when you suddenly crash into him and swallow his soul whole.

You’re greedy.

The first time you had kissed him he swore there was no way he could verbally describe what erupted inside of him. He remembers it clearly like a fond dream, the way you had pushed him into a darken corner. Your hands on his waist, pink tongue tasting orange crush and sweets.

He had been so shy it had melted you. His hands tentatively resting on hips. Lips merely following your lead. When you had stopped with your lips lingering so closely to his, you had simply giggled and asked him where the night could take you both.

Mikey knows what whiplash feels like, but emotionally this was his first time. He let it go, slowly watched whatever this had meant leave his grasp.

He lets you lead.

You’re so greedy.

He can’t blame you as much as he can blame himself. This isn’t the only time naturally, he could switch the memories like tv stations, often settling on his favorite ones.

He tries to avoid the ones that hurt.

You want to blame life, blame all past events that led you to develop a thick skin. It’s so impenetrable, but the dents are here and there scattered across two decades. Mikey sees the road map of damage, it hides behind your smile and your nonchalant attitude towards the tomorrow. He kinda likes it though, that you can build up a wall for whatever tries to infiltrate your barrier.

He’s addicted to the fact that you allow him in, that your guard goes down when he’s there. Mikey just wishes he had a clearer read, that whatever is happening could have a description a fucking name tag maybe. But soon enough you’re jumping into his open and awaiting arms, pressing yourself so flush against him and whispering how much you just missed him.

Mikey doesn’t miss how you stick like glue to him one particular night. The gangs there, everyone watching some horror flick that Casey had brought over. He can’t keep his eyes straight when you’re so warm next to him, tracing lazy circles on his palm before gripping it like it was some habit.

You were a habit basically, a tick that comforted him and somehow kept him grounded into this plain of existence. It’s a rush of blood to the head. Something that swims inside of his soul, wraps around him like ivy.

You wish it could be simple, to face up and just accept the cards laid out. But you were never one to just take it at face value. Easy just wasn’t in your vocabulary and well, it’s obvious that it’s not in Mikey’s wether by proxy or his own doing.

So when you quietly excuse yourself and feel Mikey’s blue orbs follow you, you obviously text him to come with after a minute or so.

The minute he follows into his and Raph’s room and finds you sitting on his bed with your legs crossed looking pleased as punch, he knows he’s so utterly screwed. Cause he’d do anything to have that image frozen in time and place, just you and that beautiful smile that robs him of thought and oxygen. Even as you beckon him closer with a gleam in your eye that means trouble and a hundred more questions for Mikey to stay up all day and night over.

He follows.

He comes to the foot of his bed and almost overloads when the tip of that beckoning finger runs a path over what would be his navel. Mikey swallows hard, breathing through his nostrils.

It guts you how he reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Mikey honest to god admires you like living breathing art. He takes a sharp inhale when you press your face to his clothed crotch and moan at the sensation that greets you. Mikey can’t erase the image of you, looking up at him as you push down his shorts, lust and what he registers might be love in your e/c orbs.

Much less when you take him into your mouth and the heat rushes down your body to your core. Your red cheeks hollowing in and creating such a tightness that Mikey whimpers, one hand gripping the back of your head and the other somehow interlocking with yours. It’s the intimacy of it, with your eyes fluttering closed as you take him as deeply as you possibly can. How his fingers play with yours.

Mikey tries to mumble something coherent out, he wants to tell you that he’s close and he knows it’s proper etiquete to tell you. It’s actually sweet and you almost giggle with a mouthful of him even when you feel nails dig into the back of your head as Mikey tries to not moan too loudly.

The way your throat bobs, lips swollen with a sticky sheen to them. He’s punch drunk, loves struck when he cups your cheeks and kisses you, tasting himself and falling further down into the rabbit hole that’s become the two of you not questioning this.

And god he should question it before his mind keeps running every possible scenario that’s caused this to be so unidentifiable. Because after that night he’s got radio silence from you for four days. He feels like a ghost floating around his brothers, going from motion to motion until he decides to take that step.

He shows up at your apartment, contemplates knocking on that window for fifteen minutes but what can he say? What does he want to ask? What if it drives you and whatever this is away?

He caves, eyes not so bright when you pull apart the curtains and he’s met with the same look he’s been sporting these past few days. You do smile though, that smile that digs nails into his soul. You let him come in, already putting on a mask that fits too perfectly.

“What’s wrong...Are you mad at me?” Mikey asks tentatively like peeling a hangnail. You freeze on your way to the kitchen, looking down at your bare feet like the answer might sprout from beneath them. “Nothings wrong, was just busy is all” It’s a pathetic excuse and not entirely truthful because you’ve been stewing in your apartment knowing full well that the boy behind you has planted roots in your heart.

And it scares the shit out of you.

So you turn, that shield up so high that Mikey notices and the whiplash is hard when you close the distance and wrap your arms around his neck. “What? Miss me that much?” Your scent hits him like a fresh hit to an addict. Four days without the warmth of your skin burning him. Mikey wants to test that shield, destroy it with his bare hands and find the real you in there, he pulls back far enough to look into your eyes and drown in them.

He quietly accepts his fate right then and there, ready to hand over his heart into your hands and watch you squeeze. And you see it all, your chest tight and jaw set, you run a finger across his cheek in such soothing slow motion. You want to tell him that this isn’t worth the heartache and headache, that you won’t come around any time soon.

Instead, you start to strip off his gear, bit by bit, each carefully taken apart. You untie his sweater from around his waist, hands lingering and maping out every detail you want forever engraved in your brain. You grab his hand and put them on you, a silent agreement for him to do the same. Mikey strips you out of your hoodie, finding a sports bra beneath it, eyes glued to new skin as he kneels and hooks his fingers in your shorts and slides them down slowly.

You walk him to your room, hand tightly clasped around his and there’s no hesitation in your steps because you want this and he wants this but every question that’ll come from this will just have to wait. You truly do go about things the wrong way.

The innocent touching makes your heart twist, the way his blue eyes run over you like you’re stolen art and he’s got dibs on it. It’s so sweet, asking his permission with a look to strip you of your bra, to run his hands towards the newly exposed flesh. It guts you so deeply when he pulls you close against him and just holds you, cause it dawns on you that Mikey has never held somebody this intimately. You shiver with the way he circles your back in ghostly touches, just basking in what it feels to feel your skin so close to his.

“We don’t have to do this” ‘I don’t want to hurt you’

“It’s okay, I just...Don’t disappear on me like that please” Mikey feels you tighten your grip on him and it takes every inch of his resolve to not crumble and just say that he loves you, that he’s loved you from the moment you rested your head on his shoulder, from the moments you’ve kissed him and made his head so clouded with questions of ‘If’ and ‘maybe’ but he knows he won’t be met with the same words.

Maybe not now, or simply not at all.

So he holds you close, even as you start to tremble, feeling tears on his shoulder. You can’t say anything, you can’t say a single damn thing.

See I've already waited too long

And all my hope is gone

#I wanted to post it even as my heart keep breaking but I wanted all of you to have this #tmnt bayverse #tmnt michelangelo x female reader #tmnt michelangelo x reader #michelangelo tmnt #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt mikey #tmnt mikey x reader #mikey x reader #michelangelo x reader #angst #ns*w

[itsamejin]

this love || yoongi angst

Summary: A story through the years detailing your relationship with Yoongi and all the ups and downs that came with dating an idol. 

Warning: cursing, sexually suggestive content

Genre: angst, fluff, idol!yoongi, artist!yn

Pairing: Yoongi x female!reader

Premise: Based on the song ‘This Love’ by Taylor Swift. Reader is an artist.

Commission Request: @minyoongail​

Word Count: 7,681 words

—

You met Yoongi when he was just a trainee, ready to take on the world and bursting with energy to get on stage. He had visions of grandeur- him living in a beautiful mansion, wearing name-brand jewelry, cruising in rare sports vehicles. When times were simpler, he’d promise that you’d be there with him, indulging in the glitz and glamour that came with his fame. He’d be an idol and you’d be his muse. Yet under all those pretenses, under all those empty promises, he was just Yoongi.

He was a guy who walked in and out of your life as easily as ocean tides come and go on the shore. He taught you how to fall in love, fall out of it, and rekindle it all the same. It was a sort of beautiful asphyxiation, being wrapped up in his lifestyle and learning to accept the consequences that came with dating a celebrity.

You wonder even now as you search his name on the internet, if you had any regrets. After all, you lost too much to be with him.

—

April 2013

A first meeting meant everything to you, especially when it came to your clients. You didn’t accept jobs from weirdos who didn’t respect your craft and you definitely hated impatient ones who badgered you to finish your pieces as quick as possible.

Big Hit was a happy medium and had hired you as a contract employee after reviewing your portfolio. Although the style of work they wanted from you was not at all what you specialized in, you were happy that they treated you like an actual employee and not some sort of machine. Plus, the pay was good.

You were asked to work on some cute animal characters for an upcoming boy group that you weren’t terribly familiar with, maybe stumbled on a vlog of theirs that you forgot about. You were intrigued by the slew of trainees that sat in front of you, their palms clenched out of anxiousness.

“I’m [Y/N], one of the digital artists that will be working with you guys from now on,” you introduce yourself politely to the seven bright-eyed boys in front of you.

You were in a room with other staff members, discussing the concept of the “Hip Hop Monsters” your graphics team was working on. This was a planned project lasting over a span of years and would eventually result in collectors edition items. It made you giddy just thinking of the royalties you’d earn from it all.

“I’d like it if the animals took after us,” one of the boys suggested shyly, slightly intimidated by the large number of corporate employees there were in the room for something that seemed so trivial. “I think our fans would like the characters more if they kind of resembled our personalities and stuff...”

You nod along to his suggestions, staring at his jersey to notice that the member who spoke up was Rap Monster. It was cute how they all wore clothes with their names on them. That’s one way to attract attention, you suppose.

“Any other suggestions you guys have for us?” you ask, jotting down notes and making rough sketches as they talk amongst themselves.

“I’d like it if,” a somewhat husky voice starts and you can’t help but stare into the guy’s eyes as he speaks, “my character was a turtle.”

You burst out into a fit of laughter along with the other staff members. He had said it with such a straight face and with so little enthusiasm, yet you could tell from his slight blush that he was serious. He was cute in the way that he wasn’t trying to be.

“You resemble one,” you grin at him, drawing out a small turtle with a cute beanie on your iPad, like the one he wore in front of you. You show it to him. “Something like this?”

“Exactly that!”

He breaks out into a gummy smile, one so bright that it hurt your heart to stare at him for too long. Now you were the one left flustered. He realizes how enthusiastic he was and got embarrassed once again, scratching the back of his head to avoid eye-contact.

“S-sorry, for shouting. It looks good.”

You bite your lip from forming too big of a grin. You still had to remain professional after all.

“You’re welcome,” you smirk slightly as he goes back to trying to look cool. You can’t help but doodle his name on your iPad even as the other members shared ideas for their own animals.

Suga, Suga, Suga.

You smile to yourself. It does have a ring to it.

—

June 2013

Yoongi sees you in the hallways sometimes and wants to say hi, but he can’t because other people are watching. Though, that isn’t the only reason.

He tells himself every day that he’ll muster up the courage to go talk to you, but every time he sees your face his legs turn to jelly. Yoongi was busy with debut stages recently, but he found some free time in his schedule to approach you.

Yoongi was never the shy type, more reserved if anything else, but you had something that enamored him- intrigued him. He wanted to know who you were other than the cute girl he was stuck in meetings with from time to time.

As you sat there on your desk, Yoongi lingered in an area nearby. He would give you his number today and if things didn’t work out then that would be that. There was no need to be all shy about this; it’s not like this is his first time asking someone out.

He strides over to you with feigned confidence and you look up after a minute, not noticing how his shadow loomed over you. He sees that you’re working on realistic portraits of the members and not the cutesy characters he usually sees you drawing.

“Hi,” he says curtly, trying to seem disinterested though he was the one that approached you first.

“Hello,” you smile up at him.

Suga.

“You draw really cool stuff,” he says to break the awkward tension. “You should show it to the CEO. I’m sure we’d have cooler concepts for our albums with your work.”

You look up at him, a happy glint in your eyes. He was complimenting you, although avoiding eye contact to seem a little less nervous than he really was.

“Well, I’m just a contract worker so I don’t think I really have the authority to start up new projects out of nowhere,” you say with a smile on your face at how flustered he looks. “I feel like you’re here to ask me for something. Am I right?”

He looks away for a split second, coughing to alleviate his nerves. He was a grown man for fuck’s sake, why was this so difficult?

“I was actually wondering if you could come give me some opinions about some art that I drew,” he lies through his teeth, just trying to find a way to get you in a more private area than the corporate floor teaming with watchful gazes. “I’ve been trying to start a new hobby.”

You chuckle slightly, seeing right through his words. You stand up to amuse him.

“I’d be happy to.”

He leads you to a studio filled with whacky knick-knacks and dim lighting, not necessarily the best place to draw. You know by now that he just said those things as an excuse to be alone with you.

“So where’s this masterpiece?” you tease slightly at his nervous expression. How did a guy who looked so deadpan have such a giddy personality?

“Well actually,” he starts off, palms already sweaty. “I-It’s not here right now, but I think I left it at the dorms. Maybe if we exchange phone numbers I can text it to you.”

He tried to appear nonchalant, but his hands moved as if he was doing a public speaking presentation. Yoongi thought he was doing great, though growing a little more nervous at how you were giggling.

“You know, Suga,” you start teasingly, “My number is in the company directory. Feel free to text me anytime.”

Yoongi slightly cringes hearing his stage name. He loves it, don’t get him wrong, but he didn't like hearing it come from you. He didn’t like the unfamiliar aspect that came with using his stage name- like you two only went by professional terms.

“Call me Yoongi,” he says with genuine confidence this time. “I like it better when my friends call me Yoongi.”

You nod, relieved that you could finally know this cute guy’s name. Truth be told, you were snooping around his conversations with other people to figure it out.

“So we’re friends?”

Yoongi nods, sitting down in his rolling chair.

“I’d like to be,” he grins, patting the sofa, hoping you’d take a seat with him.

And you do.

—

Present

It’s hard to work efficiently when you’re no longer in a corporate space. There’s no boss to check up on your progress nor is there a nosy coworker trying to see what you’re doing from the corner of their eye. You missed the hustle and bustle of an office floor, but it was nice exploring your creativity through freelance work.

You tap your digital pen onto the table repeatedly, looking at the reference image over and over again. It was a sick joke played by the universe to have been commissioned to draw your ex-boyfriend’s idol group, but you couldn’t refuse the hundreds of dollars the ecstatic fangirl was willing to give you. Truth be told, she might have offered too much pay, but you took up her offer anyway. Money is money.

Yet a face you’ve touched so often, a person you’d been with for years felt so unfamiliar to you. It wasn’t like you were drawing him realistically either. The client wanted anime-style figures that resembled them, looked enough like the boys to display it as her Twitter header. In the end, it’s still too difficult to draw. The rest of the members were lined up and sketched perfectly, but there was a blank area where Yoongi’s face should’ve been.

Your wrists hurt from the constant drawing and erasing so you set it down to massage your hand from cramping. In moments like these, you hated your job.

Ting.

A message notification popped up on your phone that laid beside your iPad. You usually left it silent when you were working, but you opened yourself up to distractions when drawing this particular piece. Whoever thought it was a good idea to specialize in celebrity artwork? You pick up your phone and smiled softly at the text.

hey, can I come over?

—

March 2014

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Yoongi, happy birthday to you~~”

You cheer on with the rest of the boys in their cramped dorm. Somehow you had gotten close enough with them to be at this level of comfort, sitting crisscrossed and shoulders touching with Jungkook and Seokjin. Yoongi blows out the candles and claps his hands, a little sad that another year passed by so quickly. He kept glancing at you who was focused on cutting the cake like the perfectionist you were.

He couldn’t help but feel like time was running out, like if he didn’t confess to you now then it would never happen. Yoongi took off the beanie he wore and ruffled his hair. He was feeling anxious all of a sudden.

“Dude don’t do that your dandruff is gonna get everywhere,” Hoseok whines. “The cake is gonna be decorated with your dead skin cells.”

“Go wash your hands,” Jin commands and Yoongi could only roll his eyes.

“Relax, I don’t even think we’re gonna have cake anytime soon when this slow-poke is taking forever to cut.”

He flicks your forehead as you glare up at him.

“I could so easily throw this in your face, but I choose not to,” you stick your tongue out at him and he scoffs.

“I’d like to see you try.”

All the members groan out of annoyance.

“Oh my god they’re having a lovers quarrel again,” Jimin yawned. “Aren’t you guys sick of arguing?”

Yoongi freezes at his words. Lover’s quarrel. That was a nice way to put it.

“They’ll stop arguing when Yoongi finally-”

Taehyung was cut off as Yoongi swipes three fingers worth of frosting from the cake and lathers it all over Taehyung’s face.

“You talk too much,” Yoongi shakes his head and soon chaos descended. Cake flew in places it shouldn’t have and ended when Namjoon knocked over a glass of water, managing to break it on the floor tiles. In the end, no one got cake.

Yoongi and you were laughing amongst yourselves at the kitchen sink, washing off some of the bits that got onto your shirts.

“I’m so sorry about your cake,” you say through your chuckles. “I’ll make it up to you some time.”

Yoongi only smiles.

“Yeah, you can treat me on a date,” he replies a little too boldly. You look at him in shock, not quite processing his words.

“A date?”

He nods.

“We should go out sometime.”

You purse your lips to prevent the huge grin about to be displayed on your face.

“We should.”

—

Present

It was subtle, the way it all started. You trace over the features you drew so far, only getting to his eyes. Yoongi and you were innocent lovers for a while, keeping your trysts a secret from everyone in the company except his managers and the members. A few of your friends knew, but none of them knew BTS well enough to be all that surprised. It wasn’t all that rare to go out with a celebrity in your line of work.

You almost miss those days when he was unrecognizable. After your friends realized who he was after he hit it big globally, you felt like a secret of yours was displayed to them. Your love was supposed to be private, but his fame left very little room for privacy. You missed when you were the only one that knew of him and maybe it’s selfish to think that way, but you were past the point of being selfish.

You text back.

yeah, can't wait to see you

—

Jan. 2015

Yoongi lays you down on the couch gently. His hands caressing your sides underneath the thin material of your shirt as he pulls you in closer to his kisses. This felt different from other nights, different in that there was nothing around to stop what would come next.

He pulls away from you slightly, panting from the lack of oxygen.

“Are you sure?” he asks, drawing circles on your hip with his thumb. He was only supposed to come over to help you unpack some stuff for your new apartment and here you were, pinned on the couch and sweating from the close contact.

You nod back in response, not finding the right words to get him to continue. He pulls your shirt over your head, peppering kisses on your neck and atop your breasts. He fixates on your neck languidly, biting as he sees fits.

There was a pause as you felt him press up against you and you knew then that there was no making it to the bed. You would have your first time with him on this newly moved-in couch.

The clothes dropped to the ground as his touches get more impatient, more desperate. It all passes by like a blur and you could only remember the pleasure that came with his long fingers, the satisfaction you felt when he was inside you. The climax of it all made you realize that you loved him, truly and without regret. He holds you in his arms when you come undone, flashing a satiated smile as you look up at him. It’s like the stars were in his eyes.

“How do you feel?” you ask him, worried he was already drowsy. You didn’t want to have to sleep on the couch naked.

“Satisfied,” he says with a smile on his face.

You can’t help but swoon, his eyes fixated on you. At least for now, he was yours He wasn’t Suga, a rapper. He was Yoongi, your boyfriend.

It didn't matter to you that he was struggling to make a name for himself in this cut-throat idol industry or that he would spend countless nights cursing as one of his numerous tracks get rejected. None of that was in your mind. Only he swam through your thoughts. Only him.

“I love you,” he sighs out. He was the first to say it.

“I love you too,” you reply back and he holds you tight against him.

He’s nuzzling himself in your hair, his chest pressed up against you so his heartbeat can synch with yours. He loves this, can’t get enough of it. He catches your lips and once again you are whisked in the pleasure of it all. This is it. This is what love is.

—

Present

The piece is finally finished and you send it off to your client, hoping she doesn’t ask for revisions because you can’t handle another second of drawing his stupid face. His soft skin, his tiny moles, his gummy smile...

It's not like you hate him. It’s just... a certain contempt lingers after a breakup from a long-term relationship. It’s the type of resentment that can’t really be explained. You don’t want to see him, but you catch yourself watching his videos on Youtube. You don’t want to think about him, but you hope he thinks about you. You don’t see yourself ever getting back together with him, but you don’t have his phone number blocked.

It’s a sort of paradox you catch yourself in and you wonder if you could ever get out of it. Will Yoongi ever escape your mind?

can't wait to see u too babe

—

Aug. 2016

Yoongi hugs you from behind, his face scrunched at the nape of your neck where several marks were made from last night’s events. Your eyes stayed focus on the TV in front of you, still impressed by your own ability to afford one in your bedroom at your salary.

“BTS' SUGA drops new music video for his song and mixtape Agust D...”

The news anchor drones on and you could barely hear her through the sounds of Yoongi’s soft snores. His hold on you grew tighter as he hears his stage name from an unfamiliar voice and it makes you giggle slightly at how different the edgy music video being displayed was from the same person wrapping you in his arms so tightly.

“Babe, wake up. I have work to do,” you whisper into his hair and he only shakes his head back in response.

“No,” he mutters, pulling you into him closer. You roll your eyes, managing to pry off one of his hands as you sit up on the bed.

“Don’t you have studio stuff to do today?” you ask him, searching for a shirt to wear.

He shakes his head as his eyes start to flutter open. You both reeked of alcohol since you opened a bottle of wine last night to celebrate the release of his first solo work. He was proud of it and you were proud of him.

“Can you turn that off, I’m getting a migraine,” he whines, covering his head with a pillow. You opted to wear Yoongi’s shirt instead of your own since you couldn’t be bothered to walk to the other side of the bed to find it. You smiled at his laying figure, cooped in a fetal-like position. He was still naked, but you were with him long enough to no longer be phased by that sort of thing.

“From one bottle of wine?” you tease slightly. “I think you’re losing your touch, Agust D.”

You chuckle as he throws the pillow on top of his head towards you.

“Don’t call me that,” he pouts, “It feels like you’re making fun of me.”

You stand up from where you were, stretching out your back as you make your way to the door.

“That’s because I am,” you smirk, “You know you’re saved on my phone as Sugar?”

He gives you a glare.

“It’s Suga,” he says, attempting to add some intimidation to his voice. It doesn’t work because all you do is stick your tongue out at him.

“Whatever sugar.”

He chuckles lightly and watches the silhouette of your figure exit his view. Yoongi can’t help but mindlessly follow after you.

As you exit towards the kitchen, you can’t help but hear the television from the bedroom.

“Suga has recently been caught up in a dating scandal with Suran, the solo artist, who sang with him in a song...”

Your head snaps up from those words, your skin crawling with goosebumps. You make it into the kitchen but with a heavy heart and no appetite.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, passing by you to pour himself some water.

“Nothing,” you say, though you sounded bitter. He caught on quite quickly. You were jealous again.

Yoongi heaves out a deep sigh and sets the glass of water down. He comes over to your angry figure and gives you a soft hug, laying his head on top of yours as if to comfort you. You try to pull away but he keeps you close.

“I’ll tell them to drop the rumors, okay?,” he says, genuinely enough to make you believe him. “I don’t want us to fight so early in the morning.”

“You promise?”

He pulls away.

“I promise,” he says, brushing a hair away from your face. “Let’s not think about those rumors right now. You and me both know they’re not true.”

You were never one to forget so easily.

—

It was around 2016 when you had stopped working at Big Hit. They halted the Hip Hop Monster brand and your contract was expiring with them anyway. You went from living a kush office life to struggling freelance worker in a matter of a second. It also meant that Yoongi and you would be spending less time together. His busy schedules couldn’t permit him to stay with you longer than a few hours and his presence slowly started to disappear from his side of the bed.

It was like a sinking ship, what you had with him. The pain starts off slow, unnoticeable. You’ll still laugh and keep up appearances as time passes, but you could tell there was an ominous atmosphere that wasn’t initially there in the relationship. Your screams start to grow silent as more problems start to stack on top of each other. It’s then when you hit the iceberg. It’s then when it all starts to fall apart.

He was still good for you, you convinced yourself, even as the currents swept you out under your feet.

—

Dec. 2016

“What the fuck do you mean you’re not coming?” you yell through your phone. You were sitting on the floor of your living room, holiday decorations strewn around the apartment. He promised he’d come spend a day off of his winter promotions to be with you.

“You know how hectic the end of the year gets with promotions,” he says in quiet hushes. “I can’t do anything about it. This is my job.”

You suck in your cheeks to prevent yourself from yelling. From the sound of it, he was in public.

“Yoongi, I called out of talking to a really high-paying client,” you say through gritted teeth. “And I still came home. Why am I the only one making sacrifices?”

He sighed at the other end. He didn’t have the patience to deal with you today.

“Look, can you stop being so fucking needy. I don’t need this right now.”

He couldn’t tell from the phone call, but your heart broke at the word. Needy. He thought that you were needy.

“I’m already stressed out as it is,” he continues through the phone. “I don’t need you up my ass all the time.”

“I’m not gonna wait for you,” you reply, tears threatening to spill over. “I’m going to sleep and you’re gonna get rid of all the shit you have in my apartment. I’m sick of you, Yoongi.”

He scoffs.

“I’m sick of you too.”

Yoongi hangs up, about ready to hit the wall when Jimin comes to calm him down. Small things that were never meant to be taken seriously built up until it was ready to crash down.

When Yoongi comes at night to visit you, he sees that you’re asleep on the couch. He sits next to you, pulling you into his arms.

“I’m sorry baby,” he whispers quietly. “I’ll do better.”

You nuzzled closer to him, comforted by words you forget the next day. Even when you woke up with a bad neck and Yoongi snoring onto your skin, you couldn’t find a way to stay mad at him. You knew, deep down, that some way or the other you’re gonna find yourself arguing about the same thing next week.

—

Present

Junghoon comes to pick you up. Junghoon, your boyfriend.

He’s a little uptight and too stern for his own good, but has a good heart and a knack of giving great gifts. You met him from working in the same industry, a 3D graphics designer for several video game companies. He was a new addition to your life, your relationship only about three months old.

You were warming up to him slowly, thankful for finally having a consistent presence in your life. He always made time for you, never used work as an excuse, and didn’t act cold just for the sake of acting cold. Junghoon was sweet in the way that Yoongi used to be when he wasn’t such a massive celebrity.

It was a relief to have someone like Junghoon in your life that didn’t walk in and out of your door without much of a thought to even say goodbye. Your life with him has been a tad bit dull, but you don’t mind all that much. Junghoon’s made you feel secure in ways that Yoongi couldn’t.

—

May 2017

“Your boyfriend is winning a whole ass award across the world and you’re having ramen with me?” Chaerin sighs. It’s typical for a best friend to judge the actions of the other.

“Yeah and?” you reply snarkily, swirling your chopstick around to find the perfect clump of noodles. “I’m not the top social artist according to Billboard, what’s it have to do with me?”

She rolls her eyes at you.

“I don’t know, you could at least watch him win the award?” she suggests. “The live stream is literally happening right now. Your boyfriend is making history and you don’t even care!”

You look at the clock on the restaurant wall. It was nearing 2 o’clock and your client meeting would be starting soon. You were in high demand as a graphic artist recently and as far as you were concerned, that was the only thing on your mind at the moment. You stare back into your bowl, suddenly losing your appetite.

“The apartment is lonely without him,” you admit sadly.

He bought one for himself and had you move in. ‘It’s easier to not get noticed by the tabloids,’ he convinced you. The modern sleekness of his penthouse was a nice change to your lifestyle, but you missed the comfiness of your small studio apartment. It was often too cold when he wasn’t around.

“You could watch it with me?” Chaerin suggested. “Yoongi’s probably so sad that his own girlfriend doesn’t even want to watch him win such a major award.”

You bite down on your chopstick harshly.

“Well he didn't even want me to come with him so I don’t wanna hear anymore about him from you.”

Chaerin squinted her eyes in your direction.

“Well I mean I get where he’s coming from. He’s still an idol, [Y/N],” she scolds. “It would be a massive risk to take you with him.”

You shook your head disapprovingly, pushing the bowl away from you.

“I’m not an idiot, Chae. It’s not like I was asking to be on the red carpet with him, I just wanted to be there waiting in the hotel room after the show. Two nights ago he suddenly backs out and says I shouldn’t come.”

Chaerin’s jaw dropped out of shock. That wasn’t what she was expecting at all.

“Did he say why?”

You stare down at your nails, your heart growing heavy as a long pause of silence takes place. It would be better to be honest, right? You shouldn’t have to pretend like everything’s okay when it clearly isn’t.

“He said he wants space,” you say, careful not to get choked up. “So I’m giving it to him.”

You clutch your thigh instinctively, remembering how Yoongi had brought that up with you just nights before. You two weren’t happy and that he needed to figure himself out before the relationship gets any worse. It’s just a break or whatever bullshit he spouted.

She scoffs.

“What is wrong with you two?” she asks, genuinely concerned. “You are not the type of person to take a break in a relationship.”

You stare bitterly into the reflection of your soup.

“I just don’t think I’ve been happy for a while,” you reply, taking a sip of your water that was left untouched for a better half of the night. “I don’t think he is either.”

—

Sept. 2017

The break lasted for months and you wondered if it was really even a break at all. It felt more like a break up if you were honest. He’d text once in a while and video call you when he was free but other than that it felt like he became a stranger, just another celebrity billboard you walked past on your way to a client’s workplace.

You’d draw sketches of him countlessly, in fear you’d forget how his face looked in real life and not through a low-quality screen. You etched every baby hair, every small blemish he’d hide with makeup. It was your method of not forgetting who the real Yoongi was because honestly, you didn’t know anymore. You didn’t know him.

Trrrringggg.

The sound of your doorbell could be heard all throughout your apartment. You stood up from where you sat on the bed, leaving the sketchbook of his face on the comforter. You weren’t expecting any visitors, but surely enough, Yoongi stood in front of you with a lopsided grin on his face.

“Hey.”

You let him in, not uttering a single word. He looks different now. His hair was black, thank god, but his face was a little softer than you were used to. You remember him being so paranoid about turning bald just a few years ago and here he was, no bald spots to be found. He looked healthy.

“It’s been a while,” you respond, hugging your arms close to your chest, uncomfortable that he was in your presence. It was his apartment technically, but you lived in it more than he did. He opted to stay in the dorm ever since he issued that idiotic break.

“I miss you,” he says in a lowly voice and you almost believe him. Almost.

You scoff.

“It seems like you’ve been having fun without me though,” you say through gritted teeth. “I thought you still wanted space?”

He shakes his head and brings his hand to touch your arm.

“No,” he swallows his saliva. “I miss you.”

You could feel his sincerity, but you can’t help but not trust him. He’s been viciously cold to you, but you find yourself pulling him closer anyway.

“Don’t ever do that again,” you threaten. “It’ll really be over then, Yoongi.”

He sighs into your hair. He loves you. He does. But he doesn’t know why it’s so hard to express it.

“I promise [Y/N]. I won’t leave.”

—

Aug. 2018

He buys you flowers, your favorite kind. It’s a small gesture, but it has you jumping into his arms all the same. It shows that he still cares somewhat. It’s been a while since he’s last shown it.

He holds you closely, appreciating the softness of your body and how you curl perfectly into him.

“I want to stay like this,” you say mindlessly, just relishing in his presence.

You’re not mad at him today and he’s not frustrated with you. It’s a high point in your relationship.

“Me too.”

His words are simple but it warms your heart nonetheless. Yoongi looks at you with twinkling eyes and for a moment you think that this could last forever and that it will last forever. You kiss him slowly and he reciprocates.

It reminds you of your first time, slow and careful- like you were the last person he’d ever want to hurt.

His love, although painful at times, was good to you when you needed it to be.

—

July 2019

Yoongi’s gone again. He’s on tour, as usual, and not giving you any updates. You were getting sick of it. The constant waiting, the constant insecurities that ate you up inside. You weren’t built to endure this kind of torture.

Suga. Suga. Suga.

It rolls off the tongue but it feels disgusting coming out of your mouth. His stage name, a persona. He starts to resemble that name more and more as the days go by. You hear it so much now that it no longer registers as an actual word.

You call him.

He doesn’t pick up.

Again.

No answer.

You’re about ready to throw the phone at the wall until a soft ring was heard from the small device. You take the call immediately, smiling as if you passed the hardest difficulty of a video game. The grin would soon be wiped away, though.

“Why’d you call?” he grumbles from the other line, loud music blasting in the background.

“Why weren’t you picking up?” You sound bitter. You don’t care.

“I’m out right now,” he says, exasperation laced in his voice. “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

Clearly, he just wasn’t in the mood to talk to you. Yoongi was at a party or a club or wherever he could possibly be in the streets of Shizuoka at 10 p.m.

You just wanted to chat, check on him as a good girlfriend would. He’s been complaining that you haven’t been in a while. You thought this was what he wanted- for you to care.

“I just wanted to see if you were doing okay,” you sigh. “How’d the concert go?”

“Good,” he says, clearly distracted. “Some of us snuck out of the hotel rooms to let loose for a bit.”

You nod as if he could see you.

“So you’re partying?”

You could hear him laugh at the other end, but it wasn’t from your comment. Someone else was making him laugh. Someone with a light and dainty voice, whiny as she got closer to Yoongi.

“Yeah, I guess you could call it that,” he says, clearly distracted. “Listen I’ll call you back, okay?”

You feel a lump stuck in your throat. There are no words left to say. The foreign girl on the other end giggled harder at whatever Yoongi was saying and it felt like you were invading their privacy- as if she was his girlfriend and you were nothing. You hung up, your mouth feeling dry as the tears poured down.

You see a text from Yoongi just a few seconds into your wallowing. You sniffle as you read it.

don’t misunderstand. nothing’s happening rn i'm just having a bit of fun.

This time you really threw your phone at the wall.

You go to your iPad that’s sitting untouched on your desk. You open your drawing app and just let the anger in the stylus take you from there. You draw a rough sketch of a couple on the edge of a beachside cliff. The woman seems to be falling into the water as if she was pushed. The guy’s hand reaches out to her, but you can’t really tell if he was trying to grab her or if he was the one that let her go in the first place.

As the tears spilled onto the cool surface of the iPad, you sob harder. Nothing could be fixed and everything still felt broken. It was meaningless, sleeping in his bed and wearing his clothes when he was all the way in Japan snuggling up to girls that were probably much prettier and much more willing to understand his lifestyle.

You look around the penthouse he had bought for the two of you, beautiful wide panel windows and modern furniture. It mostly looks empty, everything nice and tidy as if no one lived here. It had such a stark contrast to that of his old life when he shared rooms with other members and had no place to really put his keyboard except the studio. You smiled at the memory of you all hovering around the small coffee table in the cramped living room eating ramen.

Maybe it was your fault for falling behind, for letting the world around you build up and not follow in Yoongi’s tracks.

—

Present

You guess it was then when the relationship had passed a point of no return. When everything that felt right had started to feel incredibly wrong. You tolerated his presence rather than bask in it. You heard him speak but couldn’t bother to listen. Maybe you were petty, but more than anything you were angry.

You were angry that he could break you that badly and you would still forgive him for it.

You stare over at Junghoon who’s cooking you up something on the stove. This is what you needed.

—

Nov. 2019

Yoongi was back from some big-name award show that you didn’t watch. You heard he won Artist of the Year or whatever, the accolades that he’s collected no longer having meaning as the days pass. Why be happy for him when he himself showed no signs of excitement? This was routine. He expected the awards at this point.

You walked towards him. Yoongi looked angry, though you have no idea why.

“Hey, I made dinner to celebrate,” you tell him. Yoongi’s sitting on the couch, scrolling through the congratulatory messages he received from other industry stars. He looked like he needed to get something off his chest.

“I’m not hungry,” he mutters. “Just leave it.”

“Are you sure?”

He scoffs. It was a simple question.

“Not in the mood.”

You give him a pointed look and sit next to him.

“Why are you never in the mood for anything?” you ask him. “It’s just food Yoongi. I just want to eat with you.”

You don’t see it properly but he rolls his eyes.

“Just drop it okay? Today’s a good day, I don’t need you to ruin it.”

You suck in your cheeks.

“Ruin?”

Yoongi sighs heavily.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he starts, facing you. “Why do you have to be so dramatic over everything.”

You grit your teeth.

“Dramatic?” your voice quivers. “I didn’t know feeling hurt was being dramatic.”

His gaze softens and he touches your arm lightly.

“Sorry, I didn't mean it like that.”

You shake your head, feeling your eyes dampen at his words.

“I hate your apologies, Yoongi,” you say in a hushed tone. “They don’t mean anything anymore.”

He’s shocked, not really sure how to respond. You were never one to confront him, especially when he was angry. Instead, he holds your hand softly. He was terrible at comforting people.

“Yoongi are you really sorry?” you ask abruptly. It was a question you’ve been meaning to ask for years now.

His grip on you tightened and you can’t quite read his expression, but you can tell that it’s not a positive response. He looks conflicted and he shouldn’t have to be if he really was. You force him to let go of you.

“I am,” he says, knowing he answered a little too late for his words to not seem suspicious.

“I don’t think you are,” you reply sadly. “You say sorry more than you-”

say I love you.

He doesn’t let you finish the sentence because he knows. He knows what you’re trying to say.

“I am,” he says with more sincerity, but he looks at you with an unreadable expression. “I just don’t think it’s enough at this point.”

“What’s not enough?”

You were confused. Is he still talking about whether he's apologetic or not? Or is it something entirely different?

“I do love you,” he says with a certain conviction in his voice, “and I always will, but it feels like nothing’s working out.”

Yoongi doesn’t look at you and focuses on the leather of the fancy couch. He doesn’t say anything but you know what this means. He’s about to stand up, but you grab onto his wrist.

“This is your apartment,” you say before he could say anything to break your heart even further. “I’ll leave.”

“[Y/N], no,” he says. “You don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m just gonna stay over at the dorm. I just...”

Your eyes get blurry from the tears. Even now it felt like he was looking down at you. Nowhere to go. It was like he pitied you.

“...need to go clear my mind,” he finishes the sentence, standing up to grab his coat.

You shake your head and stand in front of him. He’s usually like this. A coward. A bumbling fool who would rather avoid problems than face them head on.

“I need you to stay, Yoongi,” you cry out. “I need you to actually stay for once and comfort me.”

He looks at you, mouth open but no words come out. He smiles sadly and walks toward you, kissing your cheek.

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, [Y/N],” he says and you watch him leave as easily as he walked in.

It’s not like he ever comforted you in the first place.

—

The break up happened silently over a late-night phone call a few days after he disappeared on you. You packed up your things, stayed over at Chaerin’s house, and braced yourself for what was to come. It should’ve happened sooner, you admit, but your heart still sinks when he speaks.

“I just don’t think either of us is willing to try anymore,” he says solemnly. “We’ve been on and off for the past few years and I don’t think it’s healthy for either of us to continue.”

You agree, just wanting the call to end quickly so you wouldn’t have to hear his voice any longer. It hurt to have to listen to him rationalize breaking your heart.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, [Y/N],” he says, not even a tiny bit choked up. “I think we’ve... outgrown each other.”

You knew what Yoongi really meant. He’s outgrown you.

“I think so too,” you say rigidly. Short and simple. You left nothing to be desired. “Let’s break up.”

Yoongi looks at his phone, slightly disappointed. He wished you would fight back, maybe rekindle something in him that he’s lost over the years. Yet you were silent on the line and he just had to accept it- that there was nothing left to be saved.

“Take care, okay?” he says softly because in the end he still cares- he just doesn’t want to anymore.

“I will,” you reply, ultimately hanging up the phone. You collapse onto a bed unfamiliar to you. Yoongi would no longer sleep beside you, no longer reach over to hug your side and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. He was gone and you had to accept that maybe he was never yours in the first place.

His last words replay in your mind.

Take care.

That was the most concern he’s ever shown you in the past few weeks. You almost scoff at the absurdity of it all. You don’t notice how truly broken you were until the tears start streaming down your face. You see the image of him through blurry eyes and you wonder how you could let Yoongi leave such a permanent scar on your heart.

—

Present

“Do you like your eggs runny or no?”

Junghoon asks as you approach his figure. You hug him from behind and smile at his warmth. Safe.

“Just a little runny,” you reply.

He smiles and nods, turning off the heat and grabbing some seasoning from your cupboard. You detach yourself from him when you realized what he was grabbing.

“Babe that’s not salt. That’s-”

Sugar.

You stop yourself from saying it and Junghoon looks at you with concern. He chuckles at your stoic state and ruffles your hair.

“Cat got your tongue or what?” he asks, grabbing the right container this time. “Maybe I should’ve asked if you like your eggs sweet instead, huh?”

“I’ve never tried that combination before,” you say teasingly. “Why don’t you test it out for us.”

He clicks his tongue at you and splashes some salt on your face.

“I’ll pour sugar all over you if that’s what you really want.”

You laugh half-heartedly. A simple word shouldn’t affect you this much but you find yourself get more teary-eyed as it repeats in your head. It wasn’t fair to Junghoon that you were thinking of your ex in his presence. It wasn’t fair to you either.

You feel a vibration from your pocket and you pull it out to serve as a distraction from your wallowing thoughts. It’s a text.

From Sugar.

—

A/N: This was so hard to write because my mind has just been empty these days but I’m so glad it’s done now >_< Thank you to @minyoongail​ for requesting this story. I’ve been bumping to the Taylor Swift song now because of this commissions T^T I recommend you all to listen to it. I tried to write this in a different style from my other works so I hope this is still readable for you all LOL

I’m closing commissions temporarily to focus on the ones I have now and to also start writing my own stuff. Let me know how you feel about this, I appreciate all types of comments and criticisms <3 Look forward to Part 2!

#yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #bts angst #bts fluff #bts scenarios #bts scenario #suga angst #suga fluff #suga scenarios #suga scenario #yoongi scenario #yoongi scenarios #bts imagine #bts imagines #yoongi imagine #suga imagine #suga imagines #angst #fluff #kpop angst #kpop fluff #bangtan boys #bts #min yoongi #yoongi #yoongi x reader #yoongi imagines #bangtan angst #bangtan fluff #bangtan scenarios

[captain-ross-poldark]

Poldark’s Aidan Turner on playing Leonardo da Vinci

Ed Potton

Friday 2 April 2021

Aidan Turner takes on the role of Renaissance polymath LeonardoJUSTIN SUTCLIFFE/EYEVIN

I’m trying to work out where Aidan Turner is Zooming from. Is it London, where he moved to in 2017 after his Ross Poldark became the drooled-over king of Sunday-night television? Dublin, where he grew up, trained as an actor and returned to spend the first lockdown with his parents? Or Rome, where he shot his new series, Leonardo, in which he plays a young Leonardo da Vinci?

“None of the above!” Turner says. “I’m in Toronto.” The enigmatic charm, feline eyes and gleaming locks that he deployed so mercilessly in Poldark, The Hobbit films and Being Human are all there. “My missus is working here,” he explains, and so is he. That’s the American actress Caitlin FitzGerald, his partner of three years, whom he met when they starred in the 2018 film The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot. At first I assume the “missus” is laddish affectation but it turns out that it’s official: Turner and FitzGerald, both 37, got married in secret in Italy in August after filming finished on Leonardo. You can almost hear the sighs of disappointment ripple around the world.

Turner won’t say any more — he is famously guarded about his personal life — but he looks insanely happy in the couple’s rented apartment. FitzGerald — whose grandfather Desmond was a CIA agent and organised several plots to assassinate Fidel Castro — is shooting a series, Station Eleven, in Toronto while her husband works on another project that he’s not allowed to talk about. In their downtime they’ve been watching I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, an HBO documentary series about the Golden State Killer, and, on a lighter note, Ottolenghi and the Cakes of Versailles. They share the apartment with Charlie, an ebullient Norfolk terrier that Turner has to eject from the room halfway through our interview when he starts yapping. “I’m surprised he behaved for so long,” he says.

Eight-part series Leonardo has been criticised for warping historyPA

Like many of his fellow thesps, Turner has been doing a great deal of lockdown painting. “We have a roof garden here and the light has been really good,” he says. “I probably shouldn’t be saying this because I don’t know if the landlord knows. It’s not messy work anyway!” Unlike some of his peers — I’m looking at you, Pierce Brosnan — he has yet to unleash his daubings on the world. How would he describe his style? “I struggle to say abstract, but I haven’t quite figured out what it is yet.” Did it help with playing Leonardo? “I don’t know. If you saw my paintings, you’d assume very much not,” Turner says. He has a studied line in self-effacement, honed after years of “sexiest man on TV” questions.

Leonardo premiered in Italy last month and was watched by seven million, many of them doubtless keen to see Turner brooding in a succession of smocks. The eight-part series has been criticised for warping history, having the artist accused of murder and featuring an apparently fictional muse, Caterina da Cremona, played by Matilda De Angelis from The Undoing. Luca Bernabei, the chief executive of Lux Vide who produced the series, defended it stoutly. “Matilda De Angelis’s character did exist. She was a model Leonardo asked to paint,” he said. “We have been really careful in our research. But this is not a documentary, we are not historians and this is not a university history lecture.”

And if the history pedants are spluttering, the art pedants should be happier — the series goes to considerable lengths to make the painting look authentic. Each episode is themed around a different masterpiece, from the portrait of Ginevra de’ Benci to The Last Supper to the Mona Lisa, and the candlelit cinematography is often sumptuous. Turner’s research included a private view of a Leonardo exhibition. “I spent some time alone with the actual paintings, which was brilliant,” he says. “They’re just like high-definition photographs. I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that a human had done this.”

Aidan Turner attended an artist’s boot camp before filming startedVITTORIA FENATI MORACE

The series opens in Florence in the 1460s, with Leonardo a pupil of Verrocchio, played by the veteran Italian actor Giancarlo Giannini. Before the shoot Turner and his co-stars went on an artists’ boot camp (brush camp?) supervised by professionals. He says the hardest part was learning to paint, as Leonardo did, with his left hand. He compares it to learning to ride a horse for Poldark, which he pretended he knew how to do before going on a crash course when he got the part.

Brushwork was the same, he says. “I realised I had to get good quite quickly and look like I knew what I was doing with my left hand, which is more difficult than you would think. It’s keeping it steady — you find it just moves around a lot. Leonardo was very slow and precise — I think I got it down. After a few weeks you start picking up the brush with your left hand, it becomes natural.”

Leonardo was a vegetarian, Turner tells me, “and apparently later in life opened some sort of vegetarian restaurant”. He was also gay, something that, despite reports, the series does not shy away from. Was this Turner’s first time kissing a man on screen? He laughs. “Of all the things I was expecting you to ask next, that wasn’t one of them! In a lot of ways it was just another love scene. The fact that the gender was different — that was never a thing. No, it felt right. It didn’t feel any different at all. But yeah, to answer your question, that was the first time, which I’d never really thought of until now.”

What did feel weird, he says, were the Covid protocols. “Suddenly people are wearing masks and shields and hazmat suits. We had a big sanitisation machine as we walked in that would spray us. You take off the mask when you shoot the scene and it’s a bit strange for a second. Then you realise it’s the first time you’ve seen your co-star’s face that day. It’s not conducive to a very creative environment, for sure. But we made it work and nobody got sick.”

With his wife, the American actress Caitlin FitzGeraldREX FEATURES

Turner spends a chunk of the first episode painting De Angelis, and both actors know what it’s like to be ogled. She has been asked endlessly about her naked locker-room sequence in The Undoing, just as he has been reminded of his shirtless scything scene in Poldark. Before that there was his lusted-after vampire in Being Human and his sexy dwarf in The Hobbit — branded a “dwilf” in some quarters — although that “definitely wasn’t the intention”, he says. “I think I just had less prosthetics on my face. My make-up call was 20 minutes and everyone else was sitting in the chair in the morning for three and a half hours. It wasn’t good to be around the other dwarfs in the mornings, that’s for sure.

“I get why people are interested,” he says of the ogling. “It’s just when it keeps coming up.”

We move on. According to a recent survey Cornwall has overtaken London as the most desirable place to live in Britain. Does he think Poldark played a part in that? He laughs. “Maybe we nudged a few people in the right direction. I think people forgot how beautiful that side of the world is. One of the first reviews of Poldark we read was like: ‘We can’t believe that this is our country, it looks like the south of France.’”

Could Poldark return, and would Turner be in it? If they stuck to the chronology of Winston Graham’s books they would have to leap ahead a few years. Maybe he could play an aged-up Ross Poldark in latex and fake paunch? “I don’t know if I’d be keen on the ageing-up thing,” he says. “It never really works. I don’t know whether they need to be too strict with that gap anyway. There’s the possibility someday, maybe. I enjoyed working with everybody on Poldark, from the writers right down to all the cast and crew. It really is like a family. So I’d be open to chat about it. But not for a while.”

Turner with Eleanor Tomlinson in PoldarkMIKE HOGAN

Before that he will appear as the apostle Andrew in The Last Planet, the forthcoming biblical epic from Terrence Malick, revered creator ofThe Thin Red Line and The Tree of Life. Well, he doesn’t know for sure if he will appear. Actors of the calibre of Rachel Weisz, Mickey Rourke and Jessica Chastain have seen their performances in Malick films vanish during editing.

“You want what’s best for the film. And if you don’t fit into it, you don’t fit into it,” Turner says in the tone of hair-shirt devotion that actors tend to use when talking about Malick. With a cast including Ben Kingsley and Mark Rylance as Satan, the movie is meant to tell the story of Jesus through a series of parables. Turner doesn’t really have a clue, though.

“You don’t necessarily know what you’re signing up to. You’re signing up to Terrence Malick,” he says. The director has “a great way of working. Everything is around ‘where is the sun’ at this particular time. That’s our natural light and it’s all we use. So things happen fast. There’s no trailers, hair, make-up, we’re just all together. You don’t know from day to day what you’ll be doing. It’s quite renegade stuff. That’s the way I always wanted to work.”

It’s closer to the immediacy of the theatre, which is where Turner started out. The son of an electrician, Pearse, and an accountant, Eileen, he represented Ireland at ballroom dancing before falling into acting. After studying at the Gaiety School of Acting in Dublin he acted in plays for five years and in 2018 he returned to the stage to rave reviews in Martin McDonagh’s The Lieutenant of Inishmore in the West End. Rave being the operative word — his performance was bracingly unhinged. “I can’t wait to get back to the theatre,” he says. “That’s what we’re looking at probably next.”

Turner’s character in The Lieutenant of Inishmore was an Irish freedom fighter, but he is reluctant to talk about the prospect of Irish reunification (“So I don’t get shot when I get home,” he told one interviewer). Culture is safer ground, and his native country is going through a purple patch with Sally Rooney in literature, Fontaines DC in music and the likes of McDonagh, Jessie Buckley and Denise Gough in drama. “It tends to happen in waves,” Turner says. “Coming out of drama school, Colin Farrell was such a big thing. When these actors really make it you can feel some of their light begin to shine on the industry back home.”

Like Farrell, Turner is an international star, although it has mainly been in period roles: Poldark, Leonardo, Andrew and his breakout turn as the 19th-century poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti in the 2009 series Desperate Romantics. It must be something about the hair.

That could be about to change, though. Toronto often stands in for New York, which suggests that his current mystery project has a contemporary setting. Does he yearn to act in jeans? “Yeah, you’re right,” he says with a laugh. “After Leonardo, I think tights and knee-length boots are out for a while.” Many would beg him to reconsider.

All episodes of Leonardo will be on Amazon from April 16

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/poldarks-aidan-turner-on-playing-leonardo-da-vinci-wnmqhxqxr

#Sunday times #aidan turner #Leonardo

[newmusickarl]

Album & EP Recommendations

It’s been a quiet week for new album releases, as it looks like everyone’s been saving their album drop for the end of April. This means unfortunately there’s no new recommendations this week, but on the bright side the next couple of weeks are looking very busy indeed. In the meantime, here’s a recap of some of the albums I’ve really enjoyed in the last month:

The Line Is A Curve by Kae Tempest

“I had a hunch from the teaser tracks that this was shaping up to be my favourite of Kae’s records and one of the Albums of the Year so far, and it seems indeed that my gut was right. Stunning, exquisitely crafted instrumentation and delicate, spellbinding lyrical majesty.”

Listen here

Fear of the Dawn by Jack White

“This man simply doesn’t know how to make a boring record, and like his other work this one is well worth your time. Fear of the Dawn will have you glued to your headphones, with mind-melting guitar work and astonishing sonic wonderment aplenty.”

Listen here

Never Let Me Go by Placebo

“The songs are some of their most accomplished and memorable for a while, and they don’t shy away from tough, hefty subject matters either. Die-hard Placebo fans will of course be ecstatic with this one, but I think even those familiar but maybe not completely invested will also be left pretty damn impressed.”

Listen here

Melt My Eyez See Your Future by Denzel Curry

“Denzel has outdone himself yet again, serving up his most artistically nuanced effort to date and easily one of the finest hip hop projects of the year thus far. Hugely cinematic with each track seamlessly segueing into the next, brilliant songwriting and A-list guest appearances from the likes of Slowthai, Thundercat and JID, it’s a frequently awe-inspiring front-to-back listening experience.”

Listen here

Present Tense by Yumi Zouma

“This is gorgeous, string-tinged dream-pop that will frequently move you and whisk you away to some place magical, with Mona Lisa, If I Had a Heart for Chasing, In the Eyes of Our Love, Haunt and Astral Projection just five of the many highlights here. So spare 30 minutes and give this one a spin.”

Listen here

Also out, also great: Ramona Park Broke My Heart by Vince Staples (read my review for Gigwise here), Reborn by Kavinsky (read my review for Gigwise here)

Tracks of the Week

Heart Attack by Editors

It may have been quiet on the albums front this week, but thankfully we were gifted a tonne of great new tracks to tide us over, led by this excellent new one from Editors.

Heart Attack arrived alongside the news that award-winning electronic artist Blanck Mass has now joined the group full time, following 2019’s Blanck Mass Sessions, which featured reimagined versions of their last studio album Violence. He is not wasting any time making his presence felt either, as Heart Attack is a pulsating, synth-driven mini-epic, but with a typically Editors’ style anthemic chorus to keep the old school fans happy too.

It’s a sensational track, but it’s elevated even further by the mind-melting and utterly hypnotic AI-generated video that accompanies it. Created by pioneering director and visual artist Felix Geen, it’s a psychedelic, colourful and utterly dazzling work of art that simply must be seen to be believed – probably my favourite music video for a long time.

Watch the video above or listen to Heart Attack here

Free In The Knowledge by The Smile

The project from Radiohead’s Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood, as well as Sons of Kemet drummer Tom Skinner, has been creating a wild buzz ever since their electric debut on the Glastonbury livestream last summer. With great track after great track continuing to drop since, anticipation for the upcoming album has been locked at fever pitch for a while now - and thankfully we now have a date for its imminent arrival.

On the 13th May, their debut album A Light for Attracting Attention will finally be made available, with all previously released singles - Skrting On The Surface, The Smoke, You Will Never Work In Television Again and Pana-Vision (which recently debuted on the Peaky Blinders’ finale) - all making the final tracklist. Alongside the album news, the band also gifted another track, Free In the Knowledge, which may just be the best one yet.

Acoustic-driven with some hugely atmospheric and spellbinding orchestration, it arrived alongside a cinematic video filmed by director Leo Leigh – son of legendary filmmaker, Mike Leigh.

Listen and watch the video here

Sidelines by Phoebe Bridgers

The woman who continues to do no wrong – to coincide with her performances at this year’s Coachella in which she was joined by 2021 Mercury Prize winner Arlo Parks for a couple of duets, Phoebe also released her typically stunning new track, Sidelines. Taken from the soundtrack to Hulu’s new adaptation of Sally Rooney novel Conversations With Friends, it sees Phoebe further broadening her sonic landscape and offers fans possible insight into where she may be heading on her next record.

Listen here

Down by Hot Chip

Elsewhere this week, Dance heroes Hot Chip announced their new album Freakout/Release, due to drop this August. The first teaser for the album is the opener, Down, which features an addictive groove reminiscent of their early hit Over & Over, but with some added soul-influence provided by a brilliant sample of Universal Togetherness Band’s More Than Enough.

Listen here

When We Were Young by Architects

Shortly due to embark on their first UK Arena tour, metal behemoths Architects have dropped an anthemic new single this week. Their first new music since last year’s apocalyptic metal opera For Those That Wish To Exist, the band have hinted this is the start of their new era rather than an off-cut from that project. If it is the start of the next phase, then they continue to be as hard-hitting as ever, with the track boasting a huge singalong chorus and pummelling heavy riffs.

Listen here

Memory Fracture by nothing, nowhere

Another heavy one, as emo-rap superstar Joe Mulherin (AKA nothing, nowhere) dropped this brutal banger this week. With melodic rap verses, but gut-punching, heavy rock swells and distorted vocals on the chorus, Mulherin’s music continues to have no boundaries. This is another excellent track from him and with each new release he continues to showcase his talent for innovative, emotive, genre-bending songwriting.

Listen here

Morbid Fascination (Piano Version) by Blood Red Shoes

And finally, one of my favourite tracks of the last twelve months has had an ambient makeover this week. With the original song taken from their excellent 2022 album Ghosts On Tape, Blood Red Shoes have now re-released the album’s lead single as a haunting piano ballad and it’s, somewhat incredibly, even better than it was before – stunningly atmospheric and completely jaw-dropping.

Listen here

#new music #best new music #new music 2022 #album recommendation #song recommendation #kae tempest #jack white #denzel curry #yumi zouma #placebo #editors #heart attack #blanck mass #the smile the band #radiohead #thom yorke #jonny greenwood #phoebe bridgers #blood red shoes #nothing nowhere #hot chip #architects

[tmnt-mags]

Raphael x Fem!Reader

Reader is April's little sister and meets the turtles through her. I changed the ages and timeline a bit just because I don't feel entirely comfortable writing the turtles as 15 year old kids. SO the turtles are 18 the reader is 17 nearing 18 and april is 27.

Warnings: some mention of parent death, but nothing else!

Part 1/ ??

Im still pretty new at writing fanfic and have only done a few and this is my very first tmnt one. Constructive criticism and nice things only please!

I didn't remember my dad. My mother gave birth to me a month before his death. I didn’t remember him but my big sister April did. She told me everything she could about him, all kinds of stories and old home videos. It's almost like I know him but I don’t. Sometimes it's sad and I wish for nothing more than to have some memories with him, but I’ve had a good life and have a great family. I’ve lived with my sister since our mom passed 2 years ago from cancer. I miss her a lot, but I like living with April and I love our apartment.

We both have a deep love for media. She is a reporter with Channel 6 and I started making youtube videos right around the time mom died. It was like a video diary back then and has since turned into something completely different, though there are the occasional personal diary type videos.

I was wearing my favorite oversized sweater. It was a deep forest green and nearly reached my knees. It was worn and a bit tattered in some places, but it was the coziest thing ever.. I was barefoot in the kitchen listening to April talking about the latest Foot Clan activity and thinking about the questions she was planning for some guy who worked on the docks. She had convinced her camera guy Vern to take her over there before they shot her morning segment.

“You’re gonna be late!” I called into the living room while putting some breakfastt in a container for her to take on the road.

“Thank you shorty,” She rushed in and gave me a kiss on the cheek as she grabbed her breakfast and rushed out of the kitchen again to grab her bag “I’ll either be back for dinner or late!”

“That's really specific April,” I mutter as a lean in the kitchen doorway and watch her check her purse. “Do you have your touchup bag and your toothbrush?”

April let out a small gasp and rushed back to the bathroom. She came back out with a bag, gathered her things and blew a kiss as she ran out the door. I let out a laugh and went to eat my own food.

I spent the day editing a new video. I just hit 700k last week so I was making a special video to celebrate. It had some songs that I had covered laid over a video of me painting a portrait of my mother and father. It was taken a year before he had died and they had gone on a weekend getaway in the Appalachian mountains.

I didn't look up until April burst through the door. It was already dark out and I hadn’t even noticed.

“I just witnessed a Foot Clan attack!” she called as she walked through the apartment.

“What? Oh my god! Are you okay?” I practically jumped up and followed her as she began pacing around the living room. “April? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine! There I was at the docks trying to get some answers and then BAM! They were there!” She went on about the attack and then started about some kind of vigilante that fought them off.

“Vigilante? Are you serious?” She didn't answer, she just went into her room. I sat back down on the couch and tried to process what she had said. In the end I shook it off and went get some dinner ready.

Over the next few days April was hard to find. She seemed to be constantly on the move and didn't answer her phone. She came home talking about dad's old experiments and giant turtles, and over the next 2 days seemed to just be gone. The spire on the Sacks building fell and The Shredder, who was the leader of the Foot Clan, was arrested and Eric Sacks was revealed to have been working alongside him the whole time. It was a wild time for New York, and April was suddenly quiet about the vigilantes.

Time began to move on and April started talking about these 4 new friends she had that were brothers. They seemed like a fun nice group, and the stories she shared were great.

“So,” I started as we sat together on the couch, “when do I get to meet the brothers?”

April choked on her glass of white wine. “What? Meet them?”

“Yeah, You talk about them all the time! I would like to meet them. They’re all you’ve been talking about for like 3 weeks.” I said as I pushed her with my foot.

“Ummm,” April stopped to think and had a vague look of concern on her face, “I'm not sure actually. They’re pretty busy guys.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “Uh-huh. If you don't want me to meet them just say so. I was just curious.” I turn my face away from her.

“No it's not that, It's just they’re kinda shy. They don’t really like meeting people.” April's face said that she was telling a lie.

“Okay.” I left it at that clearly something is bugging her about me meeting her friends.

April-

April went to spend some time with the boys, but couldn’t stop thinking about them meeting her little sister. How would she react? She thought to herself, ‘I fainted when I met them, and there are still times when it kinda freaks me out a bit. I don’t want my baby sister to get scared and I don’t want the boys to get hurt because of it.’ They had tried to act like April’s reaction didn’t hurt them, but she knew it did. ‘I just want everyone to be happy.’ She was sitting in the lair watching the boys fight and Mikey brought up their Christmas pop album again. She smiled, (y/n) loved music and often performed covers on YouTube. She was really good at it. She had even written her own songs but at this point refused to release or talk about them on her channel.

“April, is something troubling you?” The brunette turned, surprised to see Master Splinter.

“Oh it’s nothing really.” She paused, “Actually could we talk? I am having some trouble.” Splinter nodded and gestured for her to follow. Not answering the questioning looks of the brothers, they went into Hashi.

“The boys avoid this room as much as possible,” Splinter said with a chuckle, “they will not listen in in here.”

“Makes sense,” April laughed and sat down on a mat with Splinter while looking at the odd structures in the room, “I’m having some trouble with my sister.”

“Oh yes, little (y/n) she had only just been born. I believe your father brought her down to the lab twice in those last weeks.” He thought back fondly on the small soft baby that looked so tiny in the arms of her father but so big compared to him then. “ what is it that is wrong?”

“She wants to meet the brothers. She doesn’t know that they are turtles, but she knows I have new friends.” April said looking down, “ we are very open. We’re the only family we have left so we always know each other's friends. It’s a safety thing I guess.”

Master Splinter hummed and looked at April, who continued.

“She wants to meet them and honestly I want her to too! I think they would all get along so well and I think the boys would adore her. It would also be nice to know that there are 4 ninjas who would look out for her.” April sighed and looked up at the ceiling.

“I just don’t want the boys to get hurt. What if she is afraid of them? What if she screams and calls them monsters or freaks? What if she passes out or cries. It would hurt them so much, and I don’t want to see my sister frightened anyway.” April’s shoulders slumped and she lowered her face to look across at Splinter.

“You know your sister well? Do you think she will react this way?” The rat questioned.

“I don’t know. This isn’t exactly a situation that has ever come up before or one I ever thought I would be in.” She played with her fingers in her lap and she watched him stroke his beard.

“I think you know your sister well and know what would be the best course of action.” He smiled, “I think the trouble now will be convincing the boys to risk meeting her. I have no doubt that it will be a split crowd.”

April nodded and gave a kind of exasperated smile. She knew exactly what he was talking about. Mikey and Ralph would agree, Donnie was iffy, but Leo would say no.

“Thank you Splinter. That does actually help. Do you mind if I stay in here a bit longer?” She asked.

“Go ahead child. Take your time.” Splinter got up and left the Hashi.

April sat and thought about what he had said. She thought back to everything she knew about her sister and what she knew of the boys. If her sister could be accepting she knew that they could have a great friendship. The boys were half a year older than her and they didn't know anyone their age. It would be nice for them to have that she thought. She knew Mikey would be super friendly right away, maybe even too friendly. Donnie would be polite but wary at first and a bit excited. Raph would be happy just to meet another person, but Leo would be cold. She feared that he would be distant and unapproachable and she knew her sister well enough to know she wouldn't be able to handle that.

She took her time and eventually rejoined the brothers. She brushed off their questions with a simple: “I needed advice.” She sat down with them as they all talked and joked around. Finally Donnie brought up the perfect opportunity.

“April you're lucky you don't have brothers.” He said as Mikey bombarded him with insane ideas for gadgets.

“Well I don't have any brothers but I do have a baby sister.” The turtles all turned towards her clearly shocked by this news. “She's actually about 4 months from turning 18.”

“Woah Angelcakes, We didn't know you had a lil’ sis. Is she as beautiful as you?” Mikey said while batting his eyes at her.

“I think she is absolutely gorgeous, and she sings and does art. She’s about to be a senior in high school.” April said while leaning closer to mikey. “Shes shorter than me and has curves for days. She used to be on the dance team actually.” April laughed and Mikey threw himself back and fanned himself with his hand.

“Why haven't you mentioned her?” Leo asked.

“You never asked if I had any siblings. She was born a few weeks before my dad died.” April smiled sadly at that “She actually asked if she could meet you.”

The boys seemed to freeze at that, and suddenly all eyes were on her.

“You told about us?”. Raph asked.

“Kinda. I might have left out the part about being ninja turtles, but I told her about my new friends and she wants to meet you guys.” Raph scoffed at her answer.

“So you didn't actually tell her about us.” He almost snapped at her.

“Cool it Raph.” leo warned.

“I don't wanna be looked at like a freak. She won't want to meet us when she sees us.” he stood up and walked off. April looked at the others who all looked like they wanted to disagree and agree with Raph at the same time.

“Sorry angelcakes, I'm sure baby angelcakes is great though.” Mikey shrugged.

April sat in disbelief that they all basically said no. The lair was quiet after that and she left after they ate some dinner.

She got home only to remember her sister was spending the night at her friends house. So she had the place all to herself. She let out a sigh and poured herself a tall glass of wine and sat on the couch thinking about the events of the day. She came up with a plan as she finished her cup and decided that by the end of the week they boys will have met her baby sister. She grabbed her phone and invited the boys to come hang out at her place for once this upcoming weekend. They didn't even ask if her sister would be there.

(Y/N)-

April had gone out to pick up some pizza for a late night dinner. I had school, homework, and some video editing to do and forgot to cook. April came home late and said not to worry about it and would grab some pizza. Her new favorite place didn’t offer delivery so she went to go get it. I decided that a nice hot shower sounded good and went in. I got out as I heard the front door open and close. I made my way to my room about to throw on my favorite green sweater only to remember that It had been washed and was in the dryer. So, I wrapped my towel back around me and opened my door to head out into the living room. I walked out and looked up only to meet with 4 pairs of eyes.

“Oh my bad,” I said, turning to go back to my room only to stop and turn right back around. “Ummmm…” I trailed off not sure what to say as I stared at 4 very large, very green, oddly human like turtles, all while in a bath towel that left most of my left hip exposed.

“Oh hi (y/n). I forgot to mention I had friends coming over.” April said walking into the room. “You might wanna put some clothes on though.”

“Yeah…” I said not able to look away from the very large turtle creatures sitting in the living room.

#tmnt #tmnt x reader #tmnt imagine #tmnt 2014

[dfrdfza]

Council Trenholm to finalize plans for her NAACP workshop on campus that weekend

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[hopeshoodie]

Thank you to @mango-does-art for tagging me!

1. What do you prefer to be called name-wise?

Anne works 😊

2. When is your birthday?

April. Idk what day it is because it’s really hard for me to remember numbers and also we didn’t celebrate it growing up, but it’s late April. You know how many times me not knowing it without looking at my license has been an issue at a traffic stop/TSA check/bar? Too many lmao

3. Where do you live?

Midwest babeyyyyyyyy. I hate it here<3

4. Three things you are doing right now?

‘working’ re: waiting on people to get back to me, trying to clean out my google drive, and drafting a trust agreement. Am I doing any of those things? No, I’m on tumblr sksksks.

5. Four fandoms that have peaked your interest?

I mean obviously LITG, right? Mango’s right, HPHM slaps but I’m not really in the fandom for that at all. The Golden Sun fandom will own my heart literally until I die, and I love the Wheel of Time fandom even though I never post about it. Same with TMA, I don't contribute to the fandom but I do lurk in it a ton.

6. How has the pandemic been treating you?

Pretty okay, considering? I got COVID back in the fall (probably during the George Floyd protests or a state park but I’m still not sure) and like nearly died, but that was because I had a bunch of other stuff going on. My office is an ‘essential service’ which is bullshit, so we’ve been mostly in the office like nothing’s changed. I’m a hermit, so not going out hasn’t been an issue, and I’m autistic so I fucking love wearing masks. So yeah, I’m doing okay.

7. A song you can’t stop listening to right now?

Not to be a basic fucking bitch, but the Hopelessly Devoted to You Talkbox tiktok audio has been looping in my head for days. It’s that, The Wellerman, and Line Without a Hook, back and forth, constantly.

 8. Recommend a movie.

I finally watched The Ruins after reading the book like a year ago and oh my god did I enjoy it. I’m not normally one for gore, but it was so scary 10/10. I’m kind of cramming to get through all the horror movies I set out to watch this year, so It Follows is next babey. I watched Annihilation again last week (I love that movie and book series so much oml) and I cannot recommend it enough. It’s not so much scary as it is unsettling, but the characters are so compelling and the visuals are so good and aaaaa I love it so much.

 9. How old are you?

22

10. School, university, occupation, other?

I’m a paralegal, but I have a bachelor's in history.

11. Do you prefer hot or cold?

COLD. COLD COLD COLD COLD. I literally hate the heat, if it gets over 80 degrees I get so cranky.

12. Name one fact others might not know about you

Idk I’m lowkey an open book… Um… I have an illegal snail ALLEGEDLY.

 13. Are you shy?

In large social settings yes. Like I would rather die than go to a party. But in artificial settings like business meetings/shopping/whatever it’s super easy to mask and seem outgoing.

 14. Your pronouns?

Honestly? Any. Like I want to be a he/him lesbian so badly, but like it’s not realistic. They is fine. She is what I normally go by so, that’s fine too.

15. Biggest pet peeves?

People!! Who don’t!!! Return their shopping carts!!! Also just in general people who are unkind on purpose- shit like stepping on bugs after someone’s said they want to take it outside or making fun of something that someone’s excited about makes me so mad.

 16. What is your favorite “dere” type?

Idk what this means. Is this an anime thing? If so, I’m too pretty to know what that means *flips nonexistent hair*

17. Rate your life from 1-10

Right now? Like a solid 7. As a whole, it’s been pretty shitty so probably 2 or 3.

18. What’s your main blog?

@hyperspacial

19. List your side blogs and what they’re used for.

Ooooh I don’t want to out my other sideblog because it is toxic as fuck. But this is my LITG sideblog, that’s my main, and I have @michaelavenatti for reblogging ~aesthetic~ stuff. But yeah, I only have the 4, and I barely use 2 of them.

 20. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?

I’m bad at consistently doing things like communicating regularly or keeping up with fics/games/weekly updates. Tbh LITG was hard for me to keep up with- I need to be able to focus and binge a thing all in one go, otherwise it seems like a chore that I’ll forget to do. So like if I ‘ghost’ you, it’s not you- it’s that I forgot that message existed entirely.

I hate tagging people so aaaaa do this if you want and tag me I love learning about mutuals. Thank you to @voile-de-lune for also tagging me- I'm sorry if someone else tagged me, this was awhile ago and it's been lost in my activity page.

#anne lore #not lithegame #i think? those three posts were the tag games i was sitting on? #theres definitely a music rec one that i cannot find