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#i wasnt going to actually put these thoughts to paper but everyone has been very nice in my notes so i was encouraged :) thank u.
lucabyte · 3 months
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messier doodle pages feat. mostly loop because i'm thinking about the body horror of it all... amongst other things.
... at least one of those things being. hey. unrelated to this doodle page. how many months was siffrin travelling with the party? It wasn't that many, right? How many loops would it take before they'd've been in the house longer than they had even been with them? Much to think about!
#i wasnt going to actually put these thoughts to paper but everyone has been very nice in my notes so i was encouraged :) thank u.#LONGER TAG RAMBLE BELOW THE ORGANISATIONAL TAGS. CLICK SEE ALL THANKS#in stars and time#isat fanart#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#isat loop#sifloop#isiloop#siffrin#isat#isat isabeau#isat bonnie#isat mirabelle#isat odile#lucabyteart#samdontlook#<- spoiler tag for my bestie dont PEEK#post a6 loop just rocking up and being supremely volatile and uncomfortable is what im here for. what if a guy could look so disquieted#anwyay. about the body horror of it all. SIMPLY PUT: I do not think loop is fully tangible in places.#especially not like. their head. i think that thing is impassable but not graspable or solid. i dont think it has much feeling either#the chest star being the same white is why im joking about it being intangible too but. thats also a Kaiba reference so#no blood no organs no nothing impermeable skin guy should be allowed to get frustrated about that. its fertile ground for thoughts#being punished for not valuing your body as a vessel for your Self enough by being reduced to nothing but is MEAN..... BIG FAN OF IT.....#anyway !!! kiss your local mouthless entity on the NECK!!! get CREATIVE! ! ! ! MUST I SUPPLY ALL THE NONSEXUAL INTIMACY IN THIS ECOSYSTEM??#UEAGH.#anyway odile would get on their collective asses so hard about the philosophical ramifications of this polycule. she'd tease them about it#also @ everyone who makes bonnie call loop 'lulu' i owe you my life.
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If Nasu wasn't a coward he would have done something like Sefar didn't kill all the gods, the remaining ones are just fragments and you have to fight actual pieces of gods. But no the man said my special oc has killed all gods in existence at the exact same moment in time.
incredibly i have also talked about this specific thing here b4. i also dont know why its being brought again now
anyway my largest issue with sefar is the fact that the timeline given for when it comes and kills all the gods doesnt match up with any of the gods its alleged to have killed. for reference, it is stated to have reached earth around 12000 BCE. the fucking problem with this is that none of the civilizations we are familiar with (or indeed, that fate mentions) EXISTED BACK THEN. for context, the person considered 'humanity's oldest hero' the guy that all other heroes are based off of even if their cultures were too far away for that bit to make sense, gilgamesh, has the first instances of his epic reliably recorded as having first being written down around 2100BCE. 10000 years AFTER sefar is alleged to have hit the moon and earth simultaneously (and indeed, been reported to have been killed/sealed). while its very likely that his tale existed in oral form prior to this i HIGHLY doubt his story was 10000 years old before it was first committed to paper in the fateverse and they simply never mentioned it (he mentions his father having met sefar and sefar spared him in extella so he is presumably contemporary to sefar, although this may be his typical grandstanding)
and thats just gilgamesh. sefar is also noted to have the sword of mars (specifically mars) that she gained from defeating him in combat, but rome itself was not founded until 753BCE and worship of mars didn't reach it's height until 250AD. Even if we look at his greek counterpart, ares, afaik he only first starts showing up around 1200BCE so he's off from both sefar date AND gilgamesh date. even zeus isnt a god until around 2000BCE, and if i can trust the internet greek religion as we know it wasnt properly established until 750BCE. other gods mentioned in relation to sefar have the same issue, although finding out when they first rose to prominance as gods is difficult- odin similarly seems to be exist by the 1st century AD.
ironically, when i was looking to see if ANY gods that show up in fate could potentially have existed in some form (even if under a different name) when sefar is mentioned to have landed it seems like shiva is a possible contender, as prehistoric paintings from pre 10000 BCE are thought to potentially be of him. and yet, the hindu pantheon is one of the few ones that ISNT mentioned in relation to sefar at all lmao
so like what does this mean? either:
sefar DIDNT land on earth 12000 years ago (because how can you kill gods that dont exist yet)
sefar landed, saw that everyone was still fully prehistoric and went dormant until civilization levels rose enough to start blasting (this doesnt align with what we know of her behavior)
fateverse human history started thousands of years earlier than ours but they never bothered mentioning it in anything and it hasnt effected anything of note
sefar landed and killed a bunch of paleolithic gods and nomadic tribespeople before getting killed and shes retoractively trying to convince us that no, i totally bodied zeus, just trust me bro-
sefar got jumped by a bunch of gods that no longer exist/exist under different names and like also shiva and they just dont want to talk about it and are just making shit up. shut up
sefar landed and got her shit rocked by a paleolithic human with a sacred sword (funniest outcome that had to have been the first metal object ever. we were literally still figuring out farming)
the writers either dont know shit about prehistory or they do and put this in specifically to annoy me.
i literally said i wasnt going to get into this bc ive already talked about this on this blog and wow. look at that. ive gotten into it again. anyway anon hope you like this ig
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kirazdaha · 1 year
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HAHAHAHA Every Turk Family has one of those names and unironically mine does too 🫡 Tell your mother thank you she is a very lovely lady
I know all of the artists you listed below because my dad blasts them on the radio everytime we go out... I call it old people music but hey I never said it was bad, they're awesome and I might have memorised some of the artist's songs from how much I listen to them... Barış Manço is a classic without a doubt! Fun fact my parents were able to go to his concert and got a signed picture with him I will always envy how lucky they were 😭 I love how women in the industry made the most iconic songs I hear them often in weddings too! Or clubs, even though I only went to one once I'm not very fond of them...
My questions were do you have any tips or inspiration with how you draw! I love your art and artstyle and it's honestly what I've been trying to achieve for a while, I can't believe I'm learning how to draw men because of a silly lawyer show it's a disease...
(We are just having a conversation at this point) (I feel like those people who speak out loud in public) (I hope you and anyone who's reading this is having a good day :) be kind to yourself and others everyone)
OH MY GOD i envy them too😭😭 also omg that sounds like heaven to me. the other day i went out partying and i felt sooo out of place because i only knew like 3 songs. omg it was so so bad.
hmmm tips and inspiration…. my number 1 tip would definitely be to look at a lot of other artists you like and analyze what exactly you like. and then try to emulate that in your own work. i try to look for inspiration everywhere - artists online, traditional artists, old masters, 3d artists, even theatre and poetry, etc. - doesnt mean that i am equally inspired by them all (because all these things at once sound so scary and big but they really arent!) but rather, i try to be open for anything and that helps me find inspiration :) 
ill try to explain my thoughts more under the cut because this got long:
for me for example, so far i only posted some art i made that was lined (which, i would say makes up maybe half of the art i draw - i mostly sketch and recently have been building up the courage to paint more) and one of my inspirations is meltow. i think if you go over and check out their art youll definitely see it lol. but also i love the clean look some comics have and my friends tell me my art looks like it belongs in a comic which, i guess yeah :) when it comes to colors and composition i LOVE this artists works. i still have a lot to learn and just looking at their works inspires me so much!!!
i will say i have ALWAYS struggled with lineart. its probably the worst thing in the world to me because it never feels right!!! i like lining on paper with harsh inks and stiff ink nibs that allow for like. very little variety in line weight, but i havent done that in over 3 years (i hope i can get back to that). but yes, something about lineart makes me feel so icky when i use any brush that reacts to the pressure you put on your tablet LOL i just hate it. ugh. i havent been able to work it out.
it was only in 2020 i think that i decided to try it out with a thick brush with some texture and no pen pressure. that probably was the first time i got actual lineart that (at the time) i liked done. and then later on, discovering that other artists are able to achieve beautiful drawings with similar brushes AND that lining with a very simple brush can feel so satisfying helped me evolve a lot! until 2022, i actually wasnt able to give my art the kind of finished look that i wanted. so what people consider my style is really just born out of my limits and working with them. that obviously doesnt mean that i dont try to challenge myself as much as i can. i do and i think everyone should! thats what makes art so fun
if theres any good advice i can give to a beginner itd probaaaaably be. okay this is difficult and i feel like im not really qualified for this. as a hobbyist much less so because a lot of the knowledge and skills i acquired was through an intuitive process (i could never stick with habits such as regular studies or warmups or whatever is meant to be good for you) which definitely isnt the most “productive” way but i mean it doesnt have to be. its just a hobby! you dont have to perfect art. but yes, i would definitely say dont stop drawing. youll always be your harshest critic and at the beginning, and especially if you begin at an older age because youve been training your eye your whole life but your drawing skills for only a relatively short time you will notice a lot of mistakes. and youll think you wont achieve the image you have in your head. and maybe you wont (because youll always strive for more and youll never really be satisfied as an artist bla bla) for a while. but you have to keep drawing! try out different strategies, find out how other artists draw, watch speedpaints, try out different papers and pencils, try everything that makes it more fun and keep going! it will all pay off!! 
in my eyes theres also no point in saying “i should wait till im better to draw this idea i have” because if inspiration strikes you you should use that. even though i still sometimes catch myself thinking like that. you can always redraw things later on!! if theres anything that will keep you drawing you should use that! like getting into shows and games that make me want to draw helps a ton LOL people are not joking when they say getting obsessed with one character is the quickest way to improve. i 100% agree!!! if you saw my first nachos you wouldnt even recognize him. not kidding wow this got long. thank you for the questions though!! i hope some of my rambling can help you. feel free to talk to me whenever!
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throwingmuses · 2 years
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need 2 vent about the shit show that was the doctors appt i had yesterday 🤩 cw for weight ment and other eating disorder stuff
ok so basically its been an extreme pain to get into this ed program because i need medical clearance (including blood work) before i can start bc the clinic isnt equipped to help treat medical issues. essentially i have to have a doctor order the blood test or else id have to pay out of pocket and order the tests myself (which i definitely dont have the money for rn), but the soonest appointment my doctor had available was over a month out. so i tried going to several of those walk in clinics and all of them gave me some convoluded answer essentially saying they couldnt help me. finally i found someplace that let me make an appointment with another doctor that was a bit sooner than my other one, so i went ahead and did that. i walked into it expecting it to be pretty brief, and i was confused at first why the doctor was doing a psych assessment when all i needed was a quick physical checkup??? but i was really tired and confused so i just went along with it anyways. from the second i walked in the doctor seemed very irritated and was acting rude for literally no reason. i tried to just let it roll off my shoulders because i desperately needed someone to just order these goddamn blood tests and sign a paper saying im good to go. but then, when she asked me my current height/weight, i told her that i was 5'4 and 120lb, to which she actually fucking responded by saying "Wow, you weigh more than me!" which was EXTREMELY TRIGGERING and has been fucking haunting me in the form of obsessive thoughts ever since. she also implied that my current therapist/psychiatrist wasnt very informed because shes a recent graduate when in reality shes the most knowledgable and up front psych ive ever had and this bitch who thinks shes the hot shit didnt even know that there were different types of bipolar disorder. clearly her "knowledge" of psychology as a whole is extremely outdated. anyways towards the end of the meeting, she told me straight up that the clinic probably wouldnt accept me because im at a healthy weight which is total bullshit because thats not how it works whatsoever and i was already ACCEPTED into the program regardless of my weight. ive had this issue a lot over the years with providers not believing that im anorexic because ive never lost a significant amount of weight and the worst medical issue ive had was having low potassium and almost passing out at work, and im forever fucking baffled as to why that is because i often eat less than 1000 calories per day. like im grateful for my body continuing to take care of me despite all of the hell i put it through, but just because im healthy on paper doesnt mean this shit doesnt terrorize me on a daily basis. anyways at that point i just fucking snapped (which is very out of character for me cuz im rather shy) and i told her that she had no idea what she was even talking about, that anyone with half a brain let alone a degree in psychology shouldnt talk to someone with an eating disorder like that (which she KNEW i had walking into this bc thats what the whole appointment was about), and explaining to her that the stress i have around food is ruining my life and preventing me from doing pretty much anything i want/have to do. after yelling at her she changed her disposition entirely and started acting like a dog with its tail between its legs which was pretty gratifying at least. i was like openly sobbing very loudly afterward tho and like everyone in the office could hear me which i found to be embarassing but Oh Well. then me and my bf talked to her supervisior and told them what happened and they were actually very receptive and apologetic so heres to hoping she gets fired (: also she wasnt even a fuckin doctor so the whole thing was pointless but luckily i got an earlier appointment with my doctor cuz someone cancelled But Yeah Ive Been Fucked Up Ever Since
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xgryffinwhore · 3 years
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september nights
request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught
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warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.
word count: 2118
before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.
through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.
“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 
he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 
he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.
he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:
“bill!”
his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”
smack.
your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.
the rest is basically history.
now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 
when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 
bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 
it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.
“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”
 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”
you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 
you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.
“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.
“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”
you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 
you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.
“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.
“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.
“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.
“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”
you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 
bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.
“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”
he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 
he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”
he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.
he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 
he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 
you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 
without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 
“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”
“i love you too bill.”
he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.
“y/n?”
“yeah?”
“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”
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glitterge1pen · 3 years
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Have You Ever Considered Craft Supplies Instead Of Drugs? Then This Might Be For You.
Kyōtani Kentarou x reader, sfw, fluff, 1,691word count 
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His room for the most part was clean. It’s main function was for sleep though. This was apparent. His clothes, which were mainly basketball shorts and blank t-shirts, were scattered about in a way that told you he threw them there when going to bed.
Kyotani had told you to give him a few minutes, while he was in the bathroom brushing his teeth and struggling with the cap of his eyeliner pen. You felt comfortable enough in his apartment to check the fridge and see if anything was worth your while. But still you felt a bit like an intruder in his bedroom, which is where you had wandered off to.
The walls were white, mostly bare. There was a poster up for some band you didn't recognize, and another one advertising the Sendai Frogs that looked like he had ripped it off one wall to get onto his. You smiled at the thought of him stealing the poster from the grocery store display window or stadium parking lot.
You give his room one last once over before turning to leave. On your way out you trip over a shoe box. You would have just ignored it but a few tufts of paper flew out from the lid. You bend down to collect them but find that these aren't just trash from the shoe box. Quietly, and with a tinge of guilt, you kneel down to gently put the papers back in the box. The little scraps of paper you had found were actually sticky notes, you couldn't decipher the writing on them because of how faded and old the paper was.
You get one quick glimpse inside the shoe box on Kyotani’s floor. There are dozens of papers, printed photos, receipts, tickets, and what you assume are old keys. You feel like you've seen something very private of Kyotani’s and when you turn around to find him standing in the doorway, you gasp in shock.
“What are you doing in here?”
He seems more concerned and confused about you versus the fact that you are in his room. You decide sarcasm is the best choice of action.
“What? You embarrassed about me being in your bedroom?”
“Shut up and get out!”
Kyotani puts his hands on your shoulders and tosses you out into the hallway.
“Hey, hey, what time is it because we might actually be late to the movie now,”
You say pulling out your phone to get a glance at the clock. There was only twenty minutes before you were supposed to be at the theater.
“We’ll be fine, the trailers always play for too long anyways”
He says leading you out the front door.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
When the team wins a game and you head out to eat with the guys afterwards, your eyes don't usually follow Kyotani’s hands so closely. You hope that no one else has picked up on your new habit. But last week's venture into his bedroom has left you reeling in thought.
Kyotani doesn't really like to be hugged. During movie nights he sits separate from the pile of pillows and bodies. He tolerates head pats and high fives. When he hangs up the phone you can feel how difficult it is for him to say something like “bye I love you” platonic or not.
You hadn't really considered it before, at least not so intently in relation to Kyotani. Most people were easy to understand in their affections and how they garnered it. Or if they weren't so obvious, they made some sort of distinction, a simple “I don't like when people do this” or “I prefer this”.
Being friends with Kyotani you had assumed that he was content with what people gave him because he never asked for more. He didn't hug you when you two parted ways, and you never forced him to. He didn't ask or push on others boundaries but now after seeing that shoe box you wondered why he had never advocated for his own. You thought perhaps it wasnt that Kyotani disliked those other forms of affection or care, but rather he didn't regard those other acts as affections at all.
The sounds of the restaurant fade back in as your thoughts simmer down. You feel Tsukishima and Yamaguchi next to you. Enthralled in a conversation about some show they had been binging together. Apparently Yamaguchi had watched a few episodes without Tsukishima and everyone found the annoyed, bitter expression on Tsukishima hilarious, the table erupting in laughter.
“You good? You've been staring at nothing for five minutes,”
Kyotani said to you before taking another bite into his food. He sat across from you, his elbows propping him up over his plate of food.
“Yeah, just tired today,”
You say shaking your head as if trying to wake yourself up.
As the evening wears on, your eyes still follow Kyotani’s hands. Trying to catch the moment of thievery in action. To see if your contemplations are grounded in Kyotani’s actions or rather thoughts with nothing to hold as they pass you by.
But as everyone files out of the restaurant, the bill already split, the copy of the receipt abandoned on the table, you watch as Kyotani lingers for just a moment, to pocket the slip of paper.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
You couldn't remember the last time you had attempted to burn a CD. Was it you who did it or a friend? It was years ago though that was for sure. You had made three playlists on spotify, checking and double checking that they were private playlists. After arranging them and finding the songs that fit just right with each list you started finding youtube videos of each song. From there you converted the links to MP3 audio.
While your computer whirred and the audio filed loaded onto the disk you thought about decorating the CD cases. Of course covering the clear plastic case with glitter gel pen and cute stickers was very tempting. But you weren't sure that was Kyotani’s style. At the same time this was supposed to be a gift from you. You met yourself halfway.  Decorating one CD case like how you would have wanted, and the other with more of a Kyotani flair, the third somewhere in between the two.
When the CD’s were done you carefully placed them into their new plastic homes. Grabbing a black sharpie to scribble the playlist names onto each. You felt like wrapping them would be too extravagant so you settled for tying a ribbon around the two.
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
“What the hell do you want?” Kyotani says as he pulls up next to you on the curb outside your place. You had texted him earlier while he was at work, asking if could stop by after he got off. He has the window rolled down and you take it upon yourself to unlock the passenger door and climb inside.
"I wanted you to test these out"
You were hoping that you had done everything right with the computer.You hand him the CD's, he flips them over in his hands inspecting them.
“Is it cool if I take these ribbons off?”
You nod and he turns the car radio on to insert the CD’s. As the first song starts playing you turn to him.
“This is that band you like right? The one on that poster in your room?”
Kyotani is visibly flustered by this.
“Yes? Did you...did you make these for me?”
You throw your head back in a laugh.
“Yes, I made them for you,”
“Oh,”
He says in a rather soft amazed tone.
“Look, I didn't mean to, but when I was in your room the other day I tripped over that shoe box you have,”
You keep your eyes trained on the street outside the dashboard window. Unsure and a bit nervous to see what Kyotani is thinking. Tempted by curiosity though, you do look at him for a brief moment, only to find him also intensely staring off into the street. His face lit up red with embarrassment.
“I’m glad that I saw it though. Because that stuff is important to you and I want to know what you think is important”
The air in the car feels like it is clinging to your skin with tension. You think the pressure will start to crack your bones when Kyotani’s voice splinters the suspense.
“It's easier to feel something when its tangible, when you can hold it, it's why people still buy polaroids and go to museums and shit”
You nod, a jovial ease overcoming you as he continues to speak.
“I don't really like, uh, I guess physical affection or even talking or it’s not like talking, people call it words of affirmation or whatever,”
You hold the smile of your lips down, you don't want him to think you’re teasing him in this moment. You're just happy that he is comfortable enough with you to say such things.
“I know lots of other people like to have those types of things though, and I worked really hard to get used to stuff, but I don't know, this is what I like,”
He says gesturing with the CD case to you.
“I mean so like, birthday cards, post-it notes, bus transfers? Things that are directly attached to memories and people? Anything else you want me to know about?”
While it hurts a little that he’s struggling to talk about this matter, you can't help but revel in the unusual brash shyness of Kyotani. He does mutter something, but when you lean in closer to signal that you didn't hear him the first time he repeats himself.
“Event pamphlets. I know it's trash but I like it”
“Promise you won't get mad?”
You drawl your voice out and make it sweet so he knows you're messing with him.
“Hm?”
He says, eyebrow quirked in question.
“I think you'd be really into scrapbooking”
“Shut the hell up before I kick you out of my car”
☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙ ✩ *̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾
A/N: Took a break from my current writing obsession to spit this out .
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101 notes · View notes
tastyykpop · 3 years
Text
𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 2
Pairings: enemy, student, barista!jaemin x student, barista!reader, (very small) taemin x reader
Suggestive, slight angst (you have to squint), fluff
<previous- next>
Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming kinda, possessiveness, degradation, praise, thigh riding, choking a lot, pet names, jealousy
a/n : here we go again👨‍🦯
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"Is it true? Her and jaemin?" Students whispered amongst themselves and thats all you heard today, wondering why they were even talking about you and him. It was strange really, jaemin was nicer and there were very little pranks and even then, they weren't as bad as what they used to be.
"Y/n! Oh my god I can't believe it!" Yeri jumped with a smile plastered on her face, "Are you and jaemin together?"
You twisted your face in confusion. Is that what people think? "What!? No! Where did you even get that from?" You questioned.
Yeri smirked and leaned closer, "I heard from jeno that you both fucked." She leaned back, "is that true?"
"I- well thats not entirely wrong but what does that have to do with him and I dating?"
"Jaemins been nicer with you and there's rarely ever pranks. I mean, anyone with a brain could tell that something is up." Yeri pointed out. She raised an eyebrow as you glanced around, making sure no one can hear you.
"Okay yes me and jaemin did have sex, but seriously we aren't dating. And I'm just as shocked as you about the way he's acting." You whisper-yelled at your friend. She mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she nodded, then attempted to walk away until you grabbed and brought her back, "wait im missing something." You squinted, "please dont tell me everyone in the school knows."
"Okay I wont." She shrugged and tried to walk away again but your hand gripped her arm tighter, "Ow, did you get stronger?"
"Yeri I'm serious! No one was supposed to know and now everyone knows!" You slowly let go of her and stared at the ground, "i swear Im gonna kill that boy!"
Yeri snickered and patted your shoulder, "Dont you mean fuck him?"
"YERI!!"
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Order after order, customer after customer, you began to wear down after a hard days work. Irene stayed for a bit at yours and jaemins station to help since it was so busy. And it still wasn't fast enough for all the orders that just kept coming. It felt like you weren't going to finish and the shop closed at 8:30, it was currently 8:17.
"Ugh why is there so many orders at this time?" Irene groaned from exhaustion, jaemin snickered.
"Just be happy we get payed after this." He said and you all agreed.
Everything seemed to suddenly slow down at the cafe as it was beginning to close. Only a few orders were actually left and after that, you could close.
Irene and jaemin cleaned up the stations. Of course Irene left first afterwards, and you counted the money at the register. And since youve been working here for almost 2 years, counting money was just as easy as walking. But since its been super busy today, it took you a while to count some of the coins. Only once while you counted did you mess up, but you brushed it away and started again.
"Can you be any slower?" Jaemin commented, having just finished his part.
Putting the money away after counting, you put your hands on your hips like a mom scolding her child, "Whats the hurry all of a sudden?"
He only giggled and ruffled your already messy hair, "I wanna spend time with my baby."
You tried your hardest not to blush.
"No way." You swatted his hand off your head.
"And why not?" He quirked an eyebrow as you and him walked to an empty table in the cafe.
"Cuz you told jeno what we did last night and now the whole school knows. I'm kinda mad at you right now." Groaning, you hid your head in your arms trying to avoid his gaze.
You couldnt see him, but you heard the sigh and knew he was pouting at you, buy you didn't bother looking up.
"Why can't I brag about how good you were?" Jaemin questions, leaving you to groan louder.
"This isnt what I wanted..."
The boy shifted in his seat and pulled your head out your arms, his hands holding the side of your cheeks, "then what did you want?"
Your cheeks puffed as you tried to find the right words, "...to not have done what we did last night."
"So you regret it?"
You shrugged.
Jaemin leaned back and stared at you with a cold face. He has a hint as to why youre now suddenly saying this, not only because of him telling his friends, but also because of his past with you. If he wasnt pranking you, he was making fun of you, if it wasn't that, he'd make you flustered with his words or actions. Jaemin was annoying, yes, but your reactions were priceless to him. You got annoyed by jaemin and you hated him. He didnt blame you even after all this.
"I guess im not really mad at you telling him, just more confused on why you had sex with me." You started playing with a strand of fallen hair and waited for his answer.
"I did what I wanted to do from the beginning; fucking you dumb. If you think there's another reason, there isn't." Jaemin crossed his arms with a half smile.
You stopped playing with your hair and glared at him, "No no there has to be more! You're way to nice to me now for that to be it!"
"Do you think I like you?" He suddenly leaned forward. You didnt bother saying anything and sat back in the chair, "Why would I like you?"
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Its been a week since your last interaction with jaemin. Literally. Theres been no pranking or anything. It was odd, but you couldn't stop thinking back to what he said when you both were alone in the cafe. Something about that kind of stung. You dont know why but, you thought maybe, just maybe, he'd actually like you. And maybe, jimin was right about about you liking him.
"Hey how was work?" Jimin asked getting up from the couch. You noticed taemin was here too and it wasn't surprising anymore as he's been coming over recently this past week.
"It was a bit busy actually." You smiled, nodding your head in taemins direction to acknowledge him and he smiled in return. Cute.
Jimin came back to his seat on the couch and handed you and taemin a clas of iced tea, "Jaemin didnt do anything again huh?"
You shook your head, "You don't understand how weird this is. Like he completely stopped interacting with me." You sighed taking a sip and seat next to taemin before ranting again, "Wait...oh my god! Did I get played? Was he really just trying to fuck me this whole time?"
"Fu- what?" Taemin zipped his head at you.
"Its a long story-"
"No its not," jimin cut you off, "basically hes kind of a bully to her and hes always doing pranks and saying some provocative things, but magically," he started flailing his hands, "jaemin started being nice, said he wanted to 'fuck her dumb' and then she was in his bed."
"....so you just...let your bully fuck you??" Taemin squinted his eyes at you and you nodded slowly. "Interesting. "
"I dont even know why. Like it just happened." You stuck out your bottom lip and laid you head on taemins shoulder, "I can't believe I did that..."
"It was bound to happen." Jimin sipped his tea.
You lifted your head slightly off of taemins shoulder and stuck your tongue out, "You know what fuck you!"
"You both are like kids." Taemin said, moving to get up.
"Hm?" Jimin looked up from his iced tea, completely obvious to what taemin said and taemin shook his head.
"I need to get back home. Jimin don't stay up too late." Jimin whined at his friend as taemin got up, "y/n, be good." You gave him a thumbs up and watched as the black haired man left.
"Jimin hes cute." You frowned.
Jimin rolled his eyes, "tell him that next time then."
You rolled over so now you were laying on jimins lap and he gave you a look of disgust, but you ignored it, "Mans is too cute for someone like me to say something."
"Dude he literally called you cute the first day he met you." Jimin said a matter of factly.
"How do you know he wasnt lying?"
Jimin scoffed, "Taemin lying? Thats like me and you dating. It just doesn't go together."
"I dont know if i should be offended or happy." You glared.
"The latter." He averted his eyes from yours and continued watching the show on t.v.
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2 classes in and your were already tired. If you hadn't had stayed up so late with jimin, crying over some k-drama, maybe you wouldve gotten a good night sleep. But because of that you looked dead. You didn't even try to look your best this morning, only throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and brushing your hair back. You thought you looked okay to some extent at least. Maybe not your normal self but at least you were presentable.
There's was only so much you could handle in your class right now too. Trigonometry was definitely not your strong suit and you wondered how you even got in this class.
People were hunched over doing their work and you were struggling with question one. It was a bit embarrassing. You looked to your right for answers but they were just as lost as you, so your left was your next move.
"I dont appreciate you cheating off my paper y/n." Jaemin whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear him.
"Sorry I'm just confused.." you grumbled, placing your pencil down, jaemin gave you a look.
"Maybe if you used your head you'd get it."
"Im not dumb jaemin."
He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands, "Come over later ill help you."
You looked at jaemins partially completed paper then back at your blank one. You needed this if you wanted to pass but you also didn't want to be with jaemin at the moment and you weren't too sure what tricks the boy had up his sleeve.
"I dont think-"
"It wasnt a question." Jaemin then went back to his work, ignoring whatever protest you had as you were about to open your mouth.
It was at this point you even planned on not going later. The only thing is he really didn't like being disobeyed and you found him a bit scary when mad. It wouldnt be right to miss out on him tutoring you anyway because jaemin was a smart guy. With his help you should be able to pass easily given a few months.
The professor ended class a few minutes early. Jaemin and you both headed to your next class when someone tapped on your shoulder, making you curiously turn around.
"TAEMIN!" you leaped up and hugged the guy around his neck as he giggled with full cheeks. "What are you doing here?"
"I changed colleges since it was closer to where I was living, but I didnt realize you were here too!" He beamed.
Jaemin stood watching you both converse and giggle over small things. He wanted so badly to drag you away from taemin but he knew you weren't going to like him very much after that. But something about the two of you laughing and subtly flirting didnt sit right with him and he didnt know why. It wasnt jealousy because why would he be jealous with you? He didn't care about you in that way. So why was this making him angry?
"Y/n lets go to class." Jaemin interrupted the two of you.
"You can go ill be in shortly." You brushed him off as if he was nothing and began talking with taemin again. Jaemin despised it but listened to you and walked away.
You were happy taemin came to this school because now it gave you a chance to get closer with him. It was definitely the small crush that grew over the week that made you feel like a 14 year old girl whenever he said something remotely sweet.
Taemin and you stood just outside of the classroom door and you gave him a quick hug and good bye before heading into the room with a big smile.
Jaemin stared at you as you walked up the steps to your seat that was a few feet away from him. The smile plastered on your face made jaemin see how much of an impact taemin really had on you.
Seulgi and sana kept glancing back at you, snickering here and there. Something your not fazed by it anymore. Probably them planning another prank or something. You also felt another set of eyes behind you and looked back to see jaemin glaring at the back of your head. Wondering why he was doing that, you crooked your head to the side then faced the front again after not receiving any response from him.
Ten minutes passed and the professor never came. Students were still all around the room talking to each other and the room was noisy. You decided to just ignore everyone and focus on any work you could, everything other than trig. You were saving that for jaemin.
"Hey nana," jaemin looked away from you and gazed up at seulgi who was now standing in front of him, "theres a party later at Wendy's and joys house. You coming?"
You put the pencil down and started biting your nails, wondering what he would actually say, not that he would ditch on you, but still.
"Im working later." He simply said, seulgi rolled her eyes playfully.
"Ill come pick you up after just bring clothes."
Jaemin raised a brow, "ill be too tired to go."
He was starting to get on seulgis nerves as she grit her teeth, "Then ill come over after school."
You scoffed and rolled your eyes wondering why she was trying so hard. Clearly the boy didn't want to go, or at least go with her. You didnt understand how she couldn't see that.
"Can't im helping someone with trig after."
She leaned over his desk, jaemin not really fazed by anything as she kept coming closer, "I have a feeling you're lying nana."
"Why would I lie?" He replied stoic. "Y/n is coming over for help."
Its the way that literally everyone in the room looked back at jaemin and you. Such a weird pair. Now they really would be questioning the two of you.
You anxiously looked back at him, seulgi was up in his face, nose flared, jaemin remained still and not intimidated by her or the class. But you were ready for someone to say something.
"Whats with you and y/n all of a sudden?" Seulgi asked. You could tell she didn't want you to go over his house, that was pretty obvious, but its not like she could stop you.
"Nothing, she just needs help in trig."
The class was still silent, even after a good 30 seconds. Now you just wanted the professor come in and talk about some WW2 stuff so people would ignore this. But your were pretty sure your professor just didn't want to teach and stayed home for the day.
"You dont need to help her." She faked a smile when she glanced back at you. "Shes a smart girl."
Jaemin was just about ready to get up and walk away, "I want to help her pass, now I do believe your seat is over there." he pointed over to the middle row of seats, just a few before yours. Seulgi actually took the hint and walked away. Her eyes were trained on yours and she looked as if ready to say something but decided against it.
God, now you just wanted to leave.
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Jaemin placed a notebook and an open textbook on trig in front of you. His eyes watched as you hesitated to do your homework. You would get ready to write then lean back in confusion. For you, something was just not clicking with the whole trigonometry thing. You even started to wonder why you were taking it.
"Look this is what you have to do." Jaemin sat up and took the pencil out of your hand and went through the steps. Despite him being shockingly good at explaining and teaching, you found yourself lost at his words and just started staring at his side profile. Admittedly, you had to say he was pretty. And his lips as he was talking made you hypnotized. They looked soft and you wondered if you'll ever be able to feel them again.
"Repeat what I had just said."
You snapped out of your thoughts and hesitated, looking back at the paper then slowly began going over what you remembered until you started stumbling over your words and then stopped when he placed his hand on your thigh.
Jaemin exhaled loudly, sounding very disappointed in you and the only thing you could do was wait for whatever he had to say, "Why aren't you paying attention to nana?" His voice remained the same, but his nickname was a complete contrast.
"Im sorry I was distracted..."
"Distracted." Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "Theres nothing here to distract you."
Although you wanted to say he's been distracting you, you most certainly didn't and spared yourself the embarrassment.
"Y/n whats distracting you?" Jaemin set aside the pencil and gave you his full attention. Yet you remained silent and let him figure it out himself. But he knew, you were pretty easy to read. This is why he tapped your thigh, trying to get an answer out of you.
"You already know. Why do I have to say it?"
"I wanna hear it come out of your mouth." Jaemin shrugged.
"Jaemin..." you mumbled staring at your blank notebook, "Can we just move on?"
"Say it first." Consequently jaemin only made things worse by moving his hand up and down on your thigh in a taunting manner. One way or another he'll make you flustered.
"Youre clearly the distraction now can we please move on. We only have an hour and a half until work." You blushed.
A playful smirk found its way to his lips as he hummed in agreement. His hand still rested on your thigh and he once again tried explaining the problem in front of you. Granted, your phone went off in the middle of his second attempt of explaining.
"Taemin texted me hold on." You reached to grab your phone but jaemin was faster. He took your phone and threw it on the bed behind him.
"Pay attention." Jaemin had said. But you decided to be a bit stubborn and decided to get up and grab your phone, but jaemin had other plans. Hence why now you were stuck in a death grip on his lap with a hand to your neck. You couldn't see his face, but you knew it was cold. Jaemin didn't like to be disobeyed even for a second. "You only listen to me when I make a move, so do I have to keep you in this position for you to do your work?" You quickly shook your head and tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but jaemin wouldn't let you go. Particularly because he figured you'd try and grab your phone again, which in that case, wasn't going to happen. If you so desperately wanted to pass, hes going to make you pass. Jaemin doesn't care even if he has to go as far as disciplining you either. As long as you pass, he'll be fine.
"You dont want to disappoint nana right?" You shook your head again. "You have a voice, use it."
"N-no.."
Jaemin hummed and let go of your neck, still keeping you on his lap. "Now be a good girl and listen. This is the last time I'll repeat myself."
So then you listened. Certainly because jaemin would not hesitate in making you regret any decisions you had.
After his third explanation, you understood the whole process a bit more and began doing your work. Jaemin was happy to see you do the problems, only pointing out a few mistakes, but praising you after for getting them right. You'd try your best not to smile or blush by putting your head down or looking away. Jaemin found it cute and couldn't help but smile himself.
"Lets get ready for work." Jaemin tapped your thigh for you to get up then he made his way to the closet to find clothes.
"Do you have a white t-shirt I can use?" You asked and jaemin threw you a shirt. Luckily for you the dress code was white on top, black on bottom so you didn't need to worry about the pants.
The both of you changed swiftly, not really caring about each others presence as you've already seen each other naked.
Without warning, jaemin dragged you out the his car, not bothering to give you a chance to say you wanted to drive yours. And you both were off.
It was a silent car ride besides the soft music playing on the radio. Jaemin kept you occupied with a hand resting on your thigh. He had a nice hand, you weren't gonna lie, but besides you gawking at his hand, it really did keep your mind focused. Not even the streets filled with so much activity could make you stop staring. It came to the point where you ended up grabbing his hand and played with his fingers.
"If you like my hands so much maybe I should use them on you again." Jaemin said, your breathing stopped for a second and you faced him.
"I just... find your hands nice thats all. Nothing sexual nana." You emphasized his nickname with a mocking tone. But in reality it was a very lowkey sexual desire to have him feel you up again, or even finger you. Whatever it was, you didn't want to admit it.
Parking the car, you and jaemin went inside the cafe to find it was again very busy. Irene was at the register helping a customer with their order and when she glanced up, you could've sworn she saw a ghost.
She finished the order and looked between you two, "Am I missing something?" She asked, pointing a finger at you guys as if accusing you, "you never come in together nor even walk inches next to each other."
"Y/n was at my house because I was tutoring her for school, so I drove her here too." Jaemin responded and you nodded in agreement. Still, irene found this crazy.
"Okay...just get to work then..." she squinted her eyes. Jaemin was the first to get to the stations, followed by you who made sure to look at the orders on screen.
After a while of making coffees, teas, and such you decided it was time for a break, so you asked irene if you can just take a seat for a bit to which she said yes.
Only a few tables remained empty, you took one near a window so you could see what was happening outside. Nothing different. Some teenagers fooling around on the sidewalk, couples passing by, and people rushing to get to their jobs. Meanwhile you never noticed someone sitting in front of you until they blew into your ear.
"Ahhh, what the fuck taemin!" Frowning at the sudden intusion, taemin laughed at your shocked face and sputtered many apologies. Many of which you knew he didnt mean.
"How long have you been sitting there?" You leaned over the table asking.
Taemin naturally leaned over too, getting closer to your face, "Just got here." He smiled, "I texted you that I was coming but you never replied."
You pouted in realization that that was when jaemin decided to discard your phone on his bed and not allow you to get it back. "Sorry I was being tutored for trig."
"Its fine." He pinched your cheeks, the smile never left his face once he finally saw a shade of red on your cheeks. Moreover, the two of you kept conversing for about 5 more minutes. Taemin talked about how jimin was bored all day from not seeing you at home so he went over to comfort him. You chuckled at the thought of jimin sadly laying against his friend and playing video games, trying not to feel bored. It made you happy that you had that kind of impact on him, knowing damn well no matter how much he said he said you weren't fun, that was a lie.
"I have to go. I'll make sure to come by later." With that taemin and you stood up and gave each other a hug. What surprised you was the lips on your cheek, giving you a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. "Bye y/n." Taemin winked and walked out the cafe.
Alarmed and flustered by what happened, you steadily walked back to the counter and just stopped there.
One might consider that to be a cute thing to see in a cute little cafe but jaemin thought otherwise and he was quite literally done with this.
"Come here." Jaemin made a finger motion to you and took you to the back of the cafe, away from the bustling people. "Whats with you and that taemin dude?"
"Why do you care?" You tilted your head up at him with a smirk. If you can manage to successfully push jaemins buttons and walk away with it, this would be the best day ever.
Jaemin took your chin in his index and thumb, bringing your face closer, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."
"I dont have to answer if I dont want to." You tried swatting his hand away from your chin but he only moved down to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sudden squeeze. Basically, jaemin was choking you out of jealousy. "H-hes just m-my friend." You stuttered as you told the truth expecting jaemin to now let go, but he only softened his grip.
"I hate him."
"You dont know him." You mocked back and jaemin lazily rolled his eyes.
"I dont care if I dont know him I hate the fact that hes with you." Jaemin growled, letting your neck go.
You took the chance to let out a laugh at his frustrated face. This was entertaining to you and for once you had the upper hand, "so youre saying you're jealous?"
Roughly, jaemin slammed your back against the building with his face only mere centimeters from yours. You could smell the scent of mint in his breath too. "Maybe I am." Jaemin pushed a knee between your legs. "Shouldnt mess with my girl. And you shouldn't have let him kiss your cheek." Jaemins lips hovered over your lips. His hands harshly gripped your hips, moving you them over his thigh. Hearing the sound of you moaning out in shock, jaemin captured your lips in a kiss, a rough one at that.
His anger was through the roof and he showed that. "Youre mine and only mine. I'm the only one who can touch you like this, kiss you like this." Jaemin kissed down your jaw, still grinding your core on his thigh. You tried silencing your whimpers by biting your hand, but jaemin was quick to stick his fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.
Without a moments hesitation, jaemin pulled away from your neck to watch you suck around his fingers and he laughed through an angry aura, "If only taemin could see how much of a slut you are for me, maybe he would back off." You whined around his fingers and he pushed deeper down your throat. Your hips stuttered a bit, but kept moving forward, trying to get more friction.
"Such a stupid little girl for nana." Jaemin ruthlessly began fucking your throat with his fingers, "Are you gonna cum out here? What if somebody walks out and sees?" Your eyes rolled back and jaemin hummed still keeping the pace with his fingers and helping you move your hips. "Aww but I bet you wouldn't care. Since your so eager to cum and all." You gripped his wrist becoming more and more desperate to reach your high. Indeed you were so close that you started seeing stars, but jaemin pulled his thigh and fingers away.
"Were you about to cum?" He laughed in your face sadisticly. Your face heated up in embarrassment. "Stupid girl."
Cooing at your red face, jaemin brought you into another kiss, much softer than before but enough to know who's in charge.
"Lets get back to work, yeah?" Jaemin tapped your cheek with his two fingers and walked away leaving you hot and bothered.
Naturally you wouldve followed but you literally almost came in your pants just outside of your work. What were you thinking letting jaemin do that to you? And why did he have such an affect on you to the point that you forgot about what happened with taemin. You couldn't stand out here any longer and went inside. Jaemin was calm as if you didn't almost just get off on his thigh and sucked his fingers off. God this boy was doing something to you and you couldn't take it!
Working next to him seemed even more difficult. You were a hot mess, plus you were horny and honestly jaemins existence wasn't helping. And now, especially now, you realized that lasting until 8:30 was going to be a train wreck.
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The school day was normal, yeri was hyper as always and cracking jokes making you spit out your banana milk. And her constant teasing about jaemin was nothing different. Of course you told her what happened the other day, she's your best friend, and she was blown away. Yeri wasn't expecting such news to be dropped on her like that and you couldnt blame her, only shrugging your shoulders and sipping your banana milk.
Stopping mid sip, you saw the boy you were subtly looking for; jaemin. Your reason? Well even you didn't know but your for sure were going to come up with something.
For the past few days jaemin never left your mind. Even when you saw him he always lingered. You could say you missed him. Besides that, taemin was never on your mind anymore. Just jaemin. It was like your mind needed him.
So you got up from your seat, yeri looked up confused and watched as your legs took you to your destination. Your heart was beating rapidly and you weren't even sure how this would go. Either you'll die from embarrassment or be the happiest girl alive. It was the anticipation.
You sucked in a deep breath once you got to him, jaemin peered up at you with curiosity, some other students even found your boldness interesting, until you spoke, "Wanna go out with me?"
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Note
Hey! I wasnt the one who requested it, but I loved your how would the Blue Lions react to killing their SO! May I ask the same but for the Golden Deer if its alright?
{That was actually one of my favorite requests to write! It’s been a long time so I might be a bit rusty, but let’s give this a shot :)} 
Claude: 
 He had accounted for the possibility of you betraying him. Your disappearance had not been something he took with ease, yet the lack of contact or declaration of death for so long had him thinking 
Emotions are fleeting...the human mind was complex. Your loyalty was never something he wanted to question but he could never put his complete faith in you 
Even when you stood at his side protecting the crests, befriended his people, treated him as a true partner...he just couldn’t completely put his faith in you. Not with so much on the line 
 He wonders if that’s where he went wrong. Heavy rain clouded his sight but the sound of your voice rang dominant across the field. As you stand at Gronder with your weapon focused on his friends- your friends; Claude could not help but momentarily reminisce over the times you instead showed him your smile. The one that temporarily alleviated the weight of his dreams and expectations from his shoulders 
He would be the one to get it back. The professor had already converted other students to their side so there was a chance 
One you didn’t want, as you aimed at their head with tears pricking your eyes. He dismounted his wyvern instantly 
“Was it all a lie? Tell me...is this what you want for your home (Y/N)? Come fight with us” He slowly begins his approach, but the words die out as you attack him this time 
 A shrill battle cry is all he hears before he watches an axe lodge into your side. He’ll never hear the answer, but he didn’t need to. It finally clicked
White hair 
You planned to die 
His brows pressed in further as Lysithea gasped at your fallen form. Before he would have killed to know more about the hidden experiments going on in the empire, but not like this. They’ll come to collect the body before Hanneman can conduct any research, but he’ll give them more. Much more 
Raphael: 
Raphael doesn’t like to think on the battlefield. It’s not that he enjoys pummeling people without a glance, but if he looks back then he won’t look foreword. He’s confided in Ignatz many times after being scolded for running ahead, but when thinking can cost you your life he prefers not to waste the effort 
 Especially because he takes longer to process complex emotions and thoughts compared to the others. He trusts them to be tactical while he uses his muscles to save the day
Back in the day he had a perfectly reliable head to think for him. He cleared their path and they took care of all the important business. The classic ‘brains and brawn’ duo that no one would expect to ever find genuine interest in one another. Aren’t they stereotypically supposed to fight and be at each other’s throats? Not in this case 
“Haha! THAT WAS GREAT! Nice Job (Y/N), I hope today’s menu has meat because you need brain food and I need to feed my muscles!” 
 You knew Raphael and how to predict his movements, and he had complete faith in your judgements. Even at the monastery you both made the most efficient team to do chores  
 Instead of trying to change him, you worked to match his pace and became his partner. On the field and in life. Raphael knew he didn’t have to second guess with you at his side, and he felt what he wanted to feel.
He loved you. Your brains, your laugh, your heart, your cooking no matter good or bad...you. It was an emotion that came easy to him.
Though sometimes he berated himself for not thinking. Sometimes you’d get in trouble if he broke equipment or did something else out of line. Yet you remained patient and calmed him down at the same time.
It was difficult to adjust to fighting without his partner. He essentially had to relearn everything through experience, but he had full hope that you’d come back 
That hope clouded his judgement when he saw you conversing with the professor at Aillel. He was so overcome with joy that he mindlessly pushed aside enemies to get to you without actually examining the scene
His fury took over when the professor’s sword went straight through your stomach.  He tackled them to the ground and it took both Lorenz AND Hilda to pry him away. 
“You idiot! They’re the enemy!” Hilda shouted at him as he settled down. He couldn’t process it. They wouldn’t hurt their family, him.
 Yet, they wore red. Red that grew darker as their blood seeped in 
 Ignatz: 
“Can you paint my portrait?” You asked him one evening long ago. After a particularly grueling training session with the rest of class he had snuck off to sketch the trees by the market. The year was young and he still wasn’t too familiar with all his classmates 
You were new and he had took to your appearance instantly. He could replay your introduction mentally over and over. Your smooth words, slight bow, and the way your feet glided effortlessly to the closest seat you could get to the window. He was of course too shy to approach a new student since he wasn’t the social sort, but luckily he did not have to do much. 
You took the liberty of following him to his painting spot. He was flustered at being found, but you merely plopped at his side and began to eat your lunch. Where you had it stashed beforehand? He still doesn’t know 
 He had never been more aware of another’s presence, and his art showed it as the paper crinkled in his grasp. Yet somehow you seemed enamored at the picture forming on the page, so much that you asked to model 
He grew anxious instantly and decided to head back for his own meal. With no given answer you had left the topic behind, and from then on he began to find you nearby often. From acquaintances to friends, and from friends to ‘lovers without definition’. No confession was ever spoken but he knew you made decisions easier, life joyful, and the rest of his peers agreed as much as he. 
He drew that portrait. He drew it over, and over, and over, and over because he refused to forget your face. He would remember you and fight twice as hard to make up for what you couldn’t give. He swore that to Claude and everyone else when you were pronounced missing in action.
 and now? His eyes glisten as a body fitted under a white tarp lays yards away. You hadn’t tried to harm him but you were healing the enemy. It was decided that you were not with the Empire, but instead travelling through and became swept in the battle. Perhaps you didn’t know? Perhaps you simply decided to help whoever needed it no matter their side? 
He clutches his bow to his chest. One arrow, and you were down. He didn’t know 
He didn’t know but the pictures would never let him forget. The pages never felt the same from then on 
Lorenz: 
Relationships should never be formed unless you have something to gain
It is a nobleman’s duty to protect the weak, the poor, the sick; yet, there must always be distance.
A nobleman must always carry themselves with a sense of professionalism. They must not display weakness, and a true leader is born of being able to separate their personal affairs from that of those they govern. 
 One day Lorenz will be the head of the Glouscer territory, and soon the Alliance as a whole if he has his way. Death must not phase him and he must be willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of his people
He follows the laws of a noble. He knows them on paper, but not in practice. 
 Only as he grew during an age of dispute and fighting did he begin to learn that actions differ from voice. All that he pledged as a young man held no meaning, because gradually he began to realize that he is not the most fit to govern Fodlan. He was incapable of completely tossing aside his personal desires or making the best decisions with certainty. Yes, he was well educated and would make a great right hand
Yet the title of leader would never be his. Why? Because he is a noble by definition 
The professor was a noble by heart. A true leader who let actions speak for them and selflessly protected the entirety of Fodlan instead of one singular portion.
 Lorenz is a noble in name, but in nature he is a man. He is a solider, a son, a friend, a politician...a human. One not immune to temptations or the grievances of loss no matter what face he may display for the public eye.
 There was a soul he once found vibrant. They were a mere commoner yet full of dedication. He placed a barrier around them immediately, one he was not allowed to cross no matter how tempted. They did not fit the criteria he sought
 Yet the night of the ball he allowed “them”  the curtesy of a dance. Their warm hand on his own, their body held tightly in his embrace, and lighthearted small talk being tossed between quips about their poor dancing skills 
They left his mouth dry as he bid them farewell to their next partner. He allowed the barrier to resurface as he went his own way
“You must rethink this (Y/N). How could siding with the empire lead to any promising future/ They will kill us all and then themselves in the process! Please, join us” 
“Spoken like a true noble, Lorenz. This social hierarchy has divided people for too long and you would realize that if you’d only look beyond Alliance borders!” 
If only he had grasped their hand longer- listened. They were the first to show him a world beyond his bubble, if only he popped it sooner. 
 Hilda:
You really annoyed her in the beginning. The way you carried yourself like some kind of prophet, or how you’d question everything the professor taught. Was it so hard to just do what was needed and move on? Even with something as simple as weeding the courtyard you always had to add your own two cents
It was like always being under analysis. She got that enough from Claude and didn’t need two people trying to read her. On many occasions she tried to gain traction over you, but somehow her efforts never bore fruit 
For a try-hard you were very accepting of her shortcomings. So long as what you were tasked with got done, the performance of others was never a secondary priority 
If only she could be that carefree about other people’s opinions. Maybe then living would be easier? 
Perhaps you were what she wanted to be? Satisfied with who you were enough to question the world around you while remaining secure with what you had 
Someone with the ability to step beyond your comfort zone and make your own decisions. Respected, knowledgeable...loved for who you are. Maybe that’s what drew her to you and lead to her envy forming into adoration 
and that adoration being trampled by sorrow 
“I still love you so no hard feelings, okay? I can’t back down” is what she told you. It was a taunt, but she did not expect your smile 
“Of course. I’m glad you’ve decided to show your backbone, just think of this as a spar like old times”
The casual talk did not fit the clash of blades that followed. Nor did it suit the battle roaring nearby 
A spar- just like old times. It was a familiar battle but this time her axe did not halt before delivering the deciding blow. 
Her hands shook as your body fell, yet you still appeared at peace despite the gash adorning your back. Perhaps you knew this would be the outcome before the day even began
Hilda did not cry, but asked for you to be buried on alliance soil. If anything she owed you that curtesy
Leonie: 
She would never forgive you. Not today, not ever. 
How dare you choose to side with the people who killed the captain? He never did anything to anybody, and if you chose to betray everyone than Leonie would return the favor
She decided that any history between you two was nonexistent the moment you lifted your weapon. Mercy was a word you forgone long ago when instead of defending Garreg Mache, you slaughtered it’s inhabitants 
She thought you felt the same as well. Yet, fate always liked to twist in ways to hinder justice 
She watched from a distance as the professor approached your fallen form. They had insisted on trying to sway her old classmates, but she scoffed at the mere thought 
What made them think traitors would be good allies? Did they want to be stabbed in the back like their father?...like the captain 
She ignored the sting in her chest as you swatted their hand away. You had some nerve to reject their kindness and it pissed her off. She wanted this entire situation to simply end but- 
Her feet moved on their own
“Why are you such an idiot? Were you always this irresponsible?” her words cut deep, clearly shown by how you turned away. She could only grit her teeth at the stubbornness and reach for her lance 
You made your choice, and clearly it was up to her to deliver justice if no one else would 
So she did what she’s always had to do, the brunt work. With one swing it was over and you were just another count among the others 
She doesn’t know if the captain would praise her for remaining strong or scold her for remaining indifferent 
Lysithea: 
Everything always boils down to one thing: people cannot be trusted. Each and every time Lysithea has allowed someone close it has blown up in her face 
and somewhere deep down, she knew this situation wouldn’t have ended any differently. The world always found new ways to crush what she cared for 
The only question that remains is how much longer will she have to endure? How much longer did she have to fight? 
because now she had to fight for two. She had to find a cure or die trying 
During the battle for Garreg Mache many had been taken prisoner. She hadn’t the empire to conduct unethical experiments; maybe torture, but nothing like what she was witnessing. 
It was a fever dream one couldn’t fathom, but the mindless husk killing without remorse kept her in reality. What had they done to you?
She noticed the white hair in an instant. One of her worst fears had come to life seeing you at the death knight’s side, but the way you hadn’t even flinched when she called your name made her terrified 
Not even a whack of thoron could snap you out of it. She began to lose hope...were you even there anymore? Is this what they had planned for her if she didn’t flee?
“Say something you jerk! Don’t tell me you’re letting some petty magic keep you grounded, fight it!” 
No matter what anyone said it did nothing. When moral dwindled the only solution left was to free you through other means 
The death knight escaped after you fell. Next time...next time he would die at her hand. 
Lysithea instantaneously moved to further her research after your burial. Not for herself, but to find out if you were gone long before they found you. She needed to know if your death was peaceful, if you could see that she tried 
If you would forgive her 
Marianne: 
“This is Nova. I have to leave for a mission, would you watch him for me Marianne?”
 Bright blue eyes bored into hers as she gingerly took hold of the bunny. It’s fur was soft, well groomed. She took notice of how it snuggled into her arms as if it feared no human. Marianne knew instantly that the animal was well loved and cherished. The though made her almost refuse the favor in fear of hurting it, but her classmate’s insistence wasn’t something to fight. 
  Despite her warnings (Y/N) never listened, and at some point Marianne gave up on pushing them away. Their company was appreciated yet she would never say it, and the cuddly creature in her arms truly proved their trust in her 
 She could only nod in agreement as they skipped off to prepare the bunny’s necessities to bring to her room. Marianne hoped she could care for the animal properly, and that nothing would happen to it
She worried for the wrong reasons, as (Y/N) never returned home. They were sent to face Solon and avenge the death of the Professor’s father. Marianne was asked to remain and help in healing injured soldiers from the most previous confrontation. 
·If she knew that would have been the last time (Y/N) would show up in her room, she--no, she wouldn’t have done anything. She may have tried to convince them to stay home but Marianne knows she would have not confessed anything
  Not that she valued their friendship or that she worried for their wellbeing. Not that she was grateful they trusted her with Nova, or that they help her care for her horses. She wouldn’t have even thought it. 
 She didn’t think of it afterwards either. Her fondness for her deceased friend wouldn’t have been noticeable at all if not for the bunny. Despite everything she cared for it as if it were (Y/N) themselves. 
When she sees a familiar figure take charge at Gronder, time freezes. She remembers the bunny sitting in her dorm without an owner. She wonders how abandoned it must have felt to never see it’s best friend again. She feels for the bunny because it’s how she felt.
Without thinking she shoots a blast of magic their way and watches them crumple on the floor 
Why did they abandon their precious bunny? Did they give up on it? Did they give up on her? 
Did you...finally realize you had befriended a monster?
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wtfgaylittlezooid · 3 years
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I’ve lost to temptation so here it is
My interpretation of magolor lets fucking go
So first section: How this bitch works
So Magolor is from Halcandria, a planet who’s core is essentially magic. There’s so much magic on this single planet that it leaked into the life and even some objects that could contain it. Magolor is no exception. Magic energy is essentially stored in a second heart (tho it’s more of a container than a heart), and runs through the body very similar to blood. It’s created and flows through his body, and allows for things like his eye glow, floating, and obviously powers. When he’s asleep, it regenerates. If there’s already enough magic energy while he’s asleep, it disposes of the old magic mostly by floating in sleep or by more severe means like insomnia aka magical overdose (which I’ve gone over before).
Next, is the glowing eyes!! Why he have that, I’ll tell ya. It makes it easier to detect other halcandrians as well as make it easier to detect light such as fire. Which is very useful when you need to look through ashy clouds and make sure a giant rock isn’t about to slam into you from above. It’s also a way to show the health of a halcandrian. Though the eyes glow yellow, they have a brown color very similar to their fur. If they’re sick or very unhealthy, they lose their glow and it slowly reverts to the brown color.
As a side effect of the master crown though, Magolor’s magic energy got boosted by the crown so he didn’t just die instantly by overwhelming power. It sounds like a good thing on paper, having so much energy to the point where he can fight non stop without getting tired magically, but magic overdose due to him not being able to deplete enough of it fast enough is a bitch. He gets sick a lot easier, bad insomnia, as well as occasionally using magic without realizing. So this clears out how he works and shit!! Now onto...
Before RTDL
So before RTDL Magolor had little social skills or experience with interacting with other people that wasnt lying to them to get them to do stuff. It was just how Halcandria worked. People kept to themselves and if you needed help you’d have to twist the truth in order to convince them. Relationships of any kind are very rare in Halcandria as well.
So when he met Marx, it was weird. He originally planned to let him stay until he got better and told him about why he was found in a Nova’s wreckage, so he could hopefully get Marx to lead him to something else he could use to defeat Landia. It didn’t go as planned. Marx was an unpredictable dude who immeadiatly fell for Magolor (but mags didn’t notice cause he’s never experienced someone else crushing or a crush) and due to that Marx spent a lot of time with Magolor during recovery and grew on him. He also ended up showing Magolor what friendship was, and honestly: magolor liked it. He liked having someone around. It was a nice change, and it was nice to have someone around to help (and rarely give him affection). So, Magolor wanted Marx to rule the universe with him once he killed Landia. He didn’t want Marx to leave. Though things started going downhill when an accident happened one time while exploring and Magolor was distracted, leaving to Marx having to use Nova’s power to make sure Magolor was safe.
And Magolor was fascinated, and god he was excited. He pried Marx for questions about his wings, constantly stared at them when they were out, and started talking about if he and Marx used their combined powers they could finally kill Landia and get what they want. But Marx didn’t want to. His want for power by then left, and he knew the consequences. He was happy just hanging out with Mags, and didn’t want to risk his life fighting a dragon with a crown of infinite power. But Magolor, despite liking the change of company, was used to being a loner and believed he could do it again since he’s halcandrian. He said Marx could leave if he didn’t want to, and that was when Marx started to see just how desperate Magolor was for the Master Crown. It was all too similar to his own desperation with Nova, and all words were useless and failed to change Magolor’s mind. So Marx left, and Magolor continued. He felt a little bad (and lonely) but pushed it down and decided no turning back and opted to modifying the Starcutter more like a weapon and attacking Landia that way, but failing.
Though he had a backup plan, thanks to Marx. Which brings me to..
The Betrayal
So this is RTDL time, before the betrayal. His back up plan was going to the pink hero Marx ranted about and using them to get the crown. After all, if they could defeat someone with the gift of Nova’s power, they could defeat a wyvern with a crown. They landed, and Magolor met everyone, but he couldn’t stop thinking about a certain someone. Chilly, who volunteered to stay with him while the others collected the spheres and parts (tho it was because he was suspicious). Mags didn’t know this, and assumed he was being nice. So the second person who (he thought) was being friendly with him enough to stay with him, and fill that hole Marx accdientally left by leaving him. He couldn’t not get attatched. He became REALLY REALLY clingy, and did as much as he could to keep himself focused as well as make sure they were friends. It backfired, making Chilly agitated most of the time, but it also semi worked later on. Most of his time between the betrayal and his crash landing was spent monitoring everyone’s progress, and trying to get Chilly to like him so he could do what he had to do during the betrayal.
Now during the betrayal! The closer he got to achieving the crown again, the more desperate and ooc he got. By the time he was at Halcandria, there’d be no way to talk him out of it, since he was THIS close. But there was still one thing wrong that he assumed the crown would fix: he couldn’t go back to being alone. He assumed he would adjust, since that’s how it’s been for his whole life. But now, that he’s actually had two people really close to him (and one leave) that showed him affection and didn’t only use him like in Halcandria, he didn’t want to go back to being alone. He couldn’t. But he came too far to turn back, and continued anyway (not like he ever changed his mind, but he did have moments of doubt). He told Chilly to stay in the Starcutter, wanting to keep him safe, which obviously didn’t go well for him when Chilly responded with freezing the ship from the inside to stop Magolor from using it in its attacks.
And of course, when Magolor sees this, he has a moment of “oh shit I can’t let him do this. I can’t lose someone else.” And tries to convince Chilly to join him. He talks about the two of them ruling and even giving Chilly Popstar to rule. He means it. He wants someone with him, somebody that he genuinely loves and treats him like a friend. He assumed that if he didn’t force Chilly into working with him like Marx, he would join in the end. And like any person with common sense, Chilly denies, loyal to Kirby and Popstar. THIS was the moment Magolor became truly desperate, he tries to convince Chilly to join him but he can barely get any words other than “but you were only friend” out while crying (in the middle of battle lol). Kirby and everyone take this chance to attack, while Magolor is just kind of broken. He fucked up again.
And he’ll be alone.
He has one thing left now, and that’s the power to rule the universe.
And he’s desperate to have this one thing go right for him, and he uses the remaining power of the Master Crown... which brings me to the next topic!
The Master Crown
Full section for the master crown let’s go. It gets its dark power from a leader/creator of dark matter (think 0), and is sentient. It only knows to shroud the world in darkness, and will do whatever it takes to get it. It’s powers are held at bay by Landia, who is Halcandria’s guardian and can resist its powers due to being a magic guardian. Magolor however, isn’t a magic guardian, and can’t resist. To him, it’s a shiny piece of jewelry that’ll make him strong so things can finally go his way.
The way it works is by drawing people in, like a venus fly trap. It just amplify people’s interest in it, as well as bring out the more negative traits about them that makes them easier to control. The most common traits is desperation, impulsiveness, frustration, and determination. And once the crown is on their head, it locks on and is irremovable and works like a parasite, basically completely erasing whoever put it on and molding them to the perfect puppet. Magolor essentially just sped up the process completely by using the last of its power in a desperate attempt to get what he wanted.
After the Betrayal
Magolor, after the betrayal, is left just floating around Another Dimension. He’s exhausted, in a lot of pain, and completely magically drained. He couldn’t even float if he tried, and that uses the bare minimum of magic. He’s stuck here for a long time, and at first, he’s extremely frustrated and upset. He spends a lot of time replaying the events in his head (not magolor soul, he has no memories of that aside from snippets that come into his dreams that are partially due to the master crown’s lasting effect) and just getting more and more angry at everything. He was so close to having control over EVERYTHING, and he lost it over himself the second he used the rest of the power. He was infuriated that he manged to let that stupid puffball beat him, along with their friends.
He cries, screams, shouts, but it doesn’t matter. Rage can only last so long, and it’s not much before he’s just exhausted and tired. He’s given up on escaping, knowing he can’t. He cant form a dimensional portal strong enough to pull him out of a dimension. He only has the skill to use it for teleportation. After a few days, he’s accepted what happened, that this is his fate. He hates being alone, floating in space with no silly jester to crack a joke or scratch his head, and no snowman who’s bell jingled with an adorable tune whenever he laughed and even gave him hugs. He ends up getting habits of scratching his head (despite the pain because of master crown injuries) and hugging himself as a way to fill that hole the two left when leaving. He misses them, and starts to regret going after the crown in the first place. He comes up with scenarios in his head to pass the time as he basically waits for himself to rot. He imagines apologizing and having his friends back. He imagines Marx somehow finding him similar to how Magolor found him. He imagines not being alone, and being happy. Not plagued by agonizing exhaustion and self fury. He even comes to miss Kirby and their friend one he actually realizes the kindness they showed him, since he was too focused before to realize.
He spends a few days in the hell dimension before he finds something. He ends up finding an energy sphere that floats past that was lost during the battle. He grabs and clings to it, now having only one thing from before. It doesn’t make the loneliness any better, but it does make things a little less bareable. But of course, energy spheres are a sphere doomer’s favorite snack, and it doesn’t take long before one comes along really wanting it.
Magolor at first, pushes it away desperate to keep this one thing he had before, and the sphere doomer keeps coming back desperately wanting its food. Eventually, Magolor and the sphere doomer form a slight bond since this was when Magolor started slowly regaining magic again and tries attacking it with his revolution orbs, but it’s just a treat for the sphere doomer. The sphere doomer keeps coming back for more treats and another attempt at a snack, and Magolor feels a little less lonely. Over time, he actually gains enough of its trust to pet it and even talks to it. He names her Lor II.
Lor II is the reason he gets out of Another Dimension and back to Halcandria, via opening a rift. Lor II basically gives Magolor a second chance to make things right, and he immeadiatly takes it. Of course, he has to steal the Starcutter to do it, but he makes his way to Popstar to apologize, because he REALLY regrets his major fuck up and at the very least, he can make things better (and maybe get a chance at being less lonely).
So that’s all I got lmao hope you enjoyed
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wisherbysharlight · 4 years
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WHAT IF... SANDERS SIDES BUT MAKE IT A TROPEY TEEN BEACH AU
Endgame!LAMP. Dukeceit, Remile
Just 2k stream of consciousness words from a plunny that grew legs TW for v slight underage drinking, one joking mention of violence, and a non-specific discussion of intrusive thoughts
-Janus has just moved there because his parents wanted to start a new "adventure" and he is a Stereotypical Teenager. Very "ugh MOM I wanna go back to my FRIENDS for my LAST SUMMER BEFORE COLLEGE"(most of his friends suck. He should not spend time with them. He does not know this)
His Parents buy him a surfboard and tell him to try it out as a way to get him to Shut Up
Hes a Skater Boy(cue music) so he picks it up super fast from like,,, youtube videos
 -He gets told to Get a Job if he wants to like, keep buying surf gear?
All the local kids work at like one restaurant/yacht club type place right on the beach
Janus gets hired as a host
 -Logan is a beach badge checker, Patton, Roman, and Remus are beachfront restaurant waiters but Roman just Really Wants To Surf, Emile and Virgil are Lifeguards, and Remy is a bartender
 -Janus is Very Good At Customer Service because Fake Smiles
Patton recognizes this Immediately
He shows him the Rage Closet which is a tiny room with an arm chair that locks from the inside where you can punch a pillow on your break when it gets to be Too Much
-Janus is Attached now and there is no getting rid of him
Patton Fully Endorses this and introduces him to the rest of the group
Janus Knows Immediately that LAMP is In Love but says nothing because he aint no snitch
-Remus surfs, but he also always wear a thong while doing it
Roman wears a full wetsuit and somehow still gets Board Rash. Remus is somehow immune and it infuriates him
 -Janus, not knowing that the twins live right on the beach cuz they are RichTM: Hey Ree I kinda wanna learn how to surf would you be able to teach me 
Remus, who religiously watches Janus surf every morning, but is absolutely willing to play this game: Yeah absolutely
Patton, later: “lets rinse off at the twins they’re right here” Janus: theyre.... What?!
 -Meanwhile, elsewhere, Virgil and Roman are double teaming Logan to drag him into the water with them cuz he’s pouting about losing a debate with their manager about how he didn’t really be mean to the dudebro who wanted to get his buddies onto the beach without paying, he was just enforcing the rules. And if the dude was so offended by Logan’s Very Accurate Dragging that he complained to management then, well, that’s his problem not Logan’s
 -Logan is never without a book. Ever. And its always a different book. Janus is starting to think he owns a library
One day he is just... reading a Physics textbook. Not taking notes or anything. Just reading. 
Roman is Very Very Alarmed by this because he is Gay and Math is Scary
"Roman I'm also gay that is not a determining factor"
"Yeah but you can't drive"
"...fair"
 -the first time janus has a shift with the twins, he cant stop staring, not just because hes like,,, super attracted to Remus but also because they are like Chaos Incarnate and yet somehow get the most tips??? He doesn't understand???
It's just cuz they are both Huge Flirts and Flatterers and the patrons dont care that they're not-so-subtly beating the shit out of each other right there on the dining floor because theyre just so charming
 -one of the bartenders gets aggressively snapped at by a customer and called "sweetheart" and before Janus can even begin to react Remy is there, sunglasses off, fire in his eyes, telling them to settle their bill and get the fuck out
Janus, used to City Restaurants- "Wont you get in trouble with the owner?!"
Remy, who knows Nothing Else But This- "What?? Not likely I only did it cuz Thomathy wasnt here to do it himself"
 -the restaurant is closed Monday and Tuesday so that is the Pseudo Weekend for the staff where everyone hangs out at the beach
Emile and Virgil take Tuesdays off but still work Monday’s cuz they feel better being the one watching over their friends
 -Roman, staring at Virgil on the lifeguard stand: ugh he’s so pretty I almost wish I was drowning just so he could give me cpr 
Janus: you wanna potentially get your ribs broken just for lip contact? 
Remy, staring at Emile on the lifeguard stand: listen, if that’s what it takes, I’ll take it
Remus, immediately going up to the lifeguard stand because he has 0 impulse control: hey my brother and cousin want you to break their ribs 
Virgil and Emile: excuse me?????
 -Patton will literally spend hours in the water. Logan physically drags him out to put sunscreen on him every two hours to the minute. Patton does not admit that he purposely "forgets" just so Logan will do so
Logan is Dark and has never used sunscreen ever but Patton is so pale and he just gets so concerned about him. Patton thinks its adorable
He has pages of research on proper spf determination.
Roman and Remus use spf 15 just on their faces and have never once burned in their lives
Logan wants to submit them for scientific study because that shouldnt be possible
Virgil calls Logan out on the fact that he also should be wearing sunscreen and Logan like... blue screens he cant believe in all his research he missed that
 -Patton is like... a ridiculously strong swimmer. Virgil still has a heart attack every time he goes for laps when there is the slightest hint of an undertow
Patton Knows This so he tries to stay in Virgil's sight line for the most part if there is an undertow. Or just dives over the waves again and again.
His nickname is Ariel. He thinks its just cuz of the swimming and the fact hes a red head. LAP all separately also tack on that its the swimming, the red hair, and the hnng pretty 10/10 would follow out to sea ala Prince Eric
 -first beach bonfire Janus goes to Remy is Fully In Emile's Lap like... half an hour in
he has had like maybe a sip of a beer
Remus says he still claims this is because he is a Clingy Drunk
no one will call him on it, least of all Emile
 -there is truth or dare. Roman may or may not skinny dip you have no proof
 -Logan gets infuriated that he cannot roast a marshmallow properly
Patton does it perfectly every single time but its ok cuz he shares and Logan eats it right from his fingers and Roman and Virgil are just in the background Trying and Failing not to be the Most Jealous
Patton thinks theyre upset they didn't get marshmallows and makes some for them too and there is lots of Significant Eye Contact involved
Janus is going to spontaneously combust if they don't get their shit together
 -Janus is out walking on the beach one night on a full moon cuz he cant sleep with everything so quiet around here when he sees a bright green patch out in the water and goes ...wait
he calls out to Remus and he comes into shore and is like "waves are perfect at night you should join me" so janus goes back and gets his board and they surf and chat for like the entire night
Janus finds out Remus couldn't sleep cuz intrusive thoughts were keeping him awake
Janus listens and doesn't judge, just lets Remus talk it out
They go back to shore and fall asleep on the sand next to each other like mid sentence still talking, now about whatever creative business idea Remus had, and get woken up by Logan's morning rounds like "come on guys you know you're not allowed to sleep out here" but they dont care theyre both just *blushing emoji*
-Logan Always Has A Notebook right? And a regular book he reads. And everyone assumes they are like Notions and Observations, but no, it’s actually blank paper and he uses it to sketch and then one day he leaves it behind and someone either Virgil or Patton finds it and flips through it and it’s all sketches of them and Roman and they’re like??? Actually really good? Anyway that’s how they find out Logan is actually minoring in art even though he’s majoring in something Very STEM 
And he never told his best friends because like almost all his pre college art is Them and he doesn’t want to be caught having Feelings and by the time it gets to college it’s been too long and he can’t tell them now 
Roman takes one of the sketches of him surfing and makes it his profile picture on All Social Media He Has and Logan is so flustered he nearly breaks his damn phone
Patton is so offended he didn’t get invited to Logan’s first showcase that he doesn’t talk to him for like two whole hours 
Virgil quietly asks if there is any art of all four of them, finds out there is, and makes a print and keeps it on his bedside table
 -They are all Pining Outwardly Now and its Worse
 -Remus : you have known them since pre-k please ask them out I beg of you 
Roman: You just dont get it 
Remus: I asked Janus out after 4 weeks what is your problem
 Emile: Virgil, I love you, you are my Partner in Anti-Drowning but you are so stupid 
Virgil: What???? All I said is that you and Remy are really cute and I'd love to be in a relationship like that 
Emile: I am not a violent person, Virgil, but I have the strong urge to smack you
 Patton, in the Rage Closet: They're all just so hOT and ReSPEctFUL 
Janus, waiting for his turn, trying to act like he cant hear him: I Am Looking Elsewhere
 Logan: I just don't understand why they were more upset that I didn't tell them than that I'd been making art of them for years?? Shouldn't that second part be worse??
Remy, who has been partial to Every Single One Of AMP Waxing Poetic About Logan: Yeah, no idea /s
 -the twins get into a surfing competition as a pair and everyone goes to see them and support them
Thomas airs the competition on every tv in the restaurant cuz he’s Proud of his Bois
They WIN cuz they are Creative and Talented and came up with all sorts of crazy tricks while they were fucking around in the water but it earns them Major Bonus Points for originality
 -Roman does the run off the podium and into Love’s arms trope with just like... whoever’s closest lets go Patton because he is a Waif and forced himself up front so he can see
The other two are Devastated because well shit but then Roman pushes through the crowd, still holding Patton’s hand, and gives them this smile and is like “remember in like second grade when we said we’d do everything together and made a pact on this beach”
Analogical: uhhhhhh yeah
Roman: holding you both to it. No take backs. This counts. Now kiss me, dammit, we WON and they DO MANY TIMES AND ITS REAL CUTE
 -Meanwhile dukeceit have Mysteriously Disappeared and No One wants to be the ones to go find them. They show back up, eventually. Janus has a branch in his hair and remus' hair is sticking straight up and when he opens his mouth roman glares at him and tells him in no uncertain terms that they do not want to know
 AnYWaY these are my children and I will gladly answer any questions about them. I left out Janus Backstory and Creativitwins Angst and Many Individual LAMP Scenes and Remile/Dukeceit getting together and Epilogue but can absolutely provide such things on request
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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years
Text
party planning committee marcus moreno x reader
+++++++++
this is a story in four parts, youll see what i mean when you read it but i wasnt exactly sure how i wanted to do this at first and thats just sort of what i landed on. but i think it kind of works.
He asks for your help to plan missy's birthday party since he still really has no idea how to do the whole girl party thing
Song: island in the sun by weezer
tag list: @cynic-spirit
+++++++++
i moved to knock on the door when i heard a loud crashing sound, startling me. i knocked quickly and loudly after that, waiting for a moment before opening the door.
"marcus?!"
i yelled, looking around the living room.
"missy?"
i asked, stepping further into the house. when i made it to the kitchen i sighed in relief, my hand going to my chest as i saw marcus stood over the sink with a mixing bowl in his hand, a few other stainless steel appliances strewn about.
"marcus?"
i asked lightly and he jumped, looking to me and breathing deeply.
"jesus y/n, you scared me."
he said shaking his head. i walked closer to the counter.
"i knocked but i heard a loud noise and got worried. im just glad to see youre not hurt."
i stated, turning one of the bowls upright. he shook his head.
"well my pride is a little hurt but im glad youre looking out for me."
he said, looking from me to the paper sat on the counter. i furrowed my brows, looking over the island to see what it was. i laughed when i realized he was trying to make a cake.
"marcus what are you doing?"
i asked, picking it up and shaking the flower off of it. he sent me a bashful smile.
"well, i was trying to make a cake for missy's birthday but i guess that ship sailed a while ago."
he said, looking around to the mess he had worked so hard on. i shook my head, waving my hand in the air and everything picking itself back upright, the empty bowls stacking together and the powders on the counter making their way into a pile.
"here, let me help."
°°°°°°°°°
"Okay, now that the cake is done, what else did you need help with?"
I asked, wiping my hands on the kitchen towel and looking to him expectantly. He sighed.
"All of it actually."
He said, shaking his head and walking to the table. I raised a brow and followed him.
"Marcus you make it sound like you've never had a birthday party for missy before."
I said with a laugh and he sent me a look, turning his datapad on.
"I know but I never did any of this, it was always her mom. And last year be both just agreed on no party, just take time to be together instead."
I nodded as I sat beside him.
"I know how much you both miss her, hell I find myself missing her sometimes too. She really was the best part of the team, even without powers."
I lamented, looking to my hands now folded in front of me on the table.
"I just wish things were easier."
He said and I nodded in agreement.
"I'm sure they'll get there, one day at a time. But you gotta work at it, like today. You've already successfully made a cake."
I pointed out and he laughed.
"Yeah, and without your help that probably would've ended very badly."
I laughed too, shaking my head.
"Baking really isn't for everyone."
I said and he side nodded, opening a planning sheet in his tablet.
"You can say that again."
He mumbled, turning it to show me.
"This is what I have so far, and everything she wanted."
He said and I nodded, reading through it.
"This is her twelfth birthday, and she's finally made more friends, thanks to the heroics program. I just want this to be a special one for her."
He said and I sent him a small smile.
"So, did she give you this invite list, or did you make it yourself?"
I asked and he looked at me funny.
"Both?"
He asked and I laughed a little bit.
"Okay, that's good, I guess. Cause it's her party so you want to make sure you're inviting people she likes to talk to and hang out with."
He nodded in understanding.
"Right. I did run it by her but i sent the cards out already, time wasnt really on my side for this one."
He said bashfully and I nodded once.
"thats Okay, it looks like you at least have a theme done. That's good. List of essentials. Oh okay. now let's look at what you have planned."
I scrolled down and stopped, sending him a look. So far he just had 'sleepover?' he let out a nervous laugh, scratching the back of his neck.
"A sleepover?"
I asked and he shrugged, slouching a little defeated.
"Yeah I don't know. It just seemed like a good idea. She used to have them all the time. But again, I never really did any of that stuff."
I nodded, tapping the screen and deleting his idea.
"Here, how about this: a pool party. I know you're a master of the grill, you could invite all the heroic kids and their parents over and have a barbeque. The kids can swim. It'll be a good time."
I suggested and he nodded, a wide smile on his face.
"That actually sounds like a really good idea y/n."
He said and I sent him a knowing smile.
"we can run that by missy too, just to make sure, we only have a few days after all and we need time to notify the guests that weve changed things."
°°°°°°°°°
when the big day finally came i was awoken from my spot on the couch to missy jumping down the stairs excitedly, a wide smile across her face as she dug in the fridge for something for breakfast. i had spent the night to help marcus decorate and was definitely regretting staying up as late as we did.
"morning."
she said in a chipper tone and i offered her a smile as i sat up.
"morning."
i said a little groggy, looking back over to the stairs as marcus trudged down them too, a tired look on his face.
"morning."
he groaned, going straight to the coffee pot and pouring a cup. i laughed a little at him as i stood up, stretching out.
"ready to get cooking?"
i asked, pulling my sweater on. i hadnt expected to sleep over so i was still in the clothes i had worn over. he just sent me a look, missy eating at the table now and nodding quickly.
"why did we make this thing for one oclock again?"
he asked playfully and missy sent him a look.
"youre the one who agreed to the pool party."
she pointed out and he made an 'o' shape with his mouth, making missy and i both laugh as i joined her at the table.
"alright, let me go get dressed and then we will start cooking."
°°°°°°°°°
when the party was finally over and everything was cleaned up i looked to marcus, drying the last of the dishes and putting them away quietly.
"what ya thinking about?"
i asked, leaning into the island and watching him intently. he frowned at me for a second.
"do you think she really had fun today?"
he said, looking over to the couch. after all the guests had left missy had showered and changed, and after having aloe applied generously to her sunburnt face, fell into a deep sleep sitting on the couch. i smiled, remembering what she had said to me earlier when she came in to get a drink.
"well considering she thanked earlier for making her birthday a special one for both of you im gonna go with yes."
i said, him finally smiling back at me as he put the last dish away.
"she really said that?"
he asked and i nodded.
"it was mentioned."
he sent me a look.
"she had said that not only was she having fun, but she was just happy to see you enjoying yourself again too. all the heroics laughing and having a good time next to their kids also having a good time; you really made a difference today."
he shook his head.
"okay, and what about you?"
i raised a brow.
"what about me?"
"did you have a good time today?"
he asked pointedly and i sighed out a laugh.
"yes Marcus, i had a very good time today."
i confirmed and he nodded once.
"good, because i would feel so bad if you hadnt. youve helped me so much here lately, i think you deserve it the most out of all of us."
i shook my head at him amused.
"thanks, but i doubt that."
he swallowed hard, furrowing his brows.
"no no don't say that, you work twice as hard as the rest of us. i just wish you could see that."
i looked to the ceiling for a moment before standing up and stretching.
"well if thats true then i think i deserve some sleep. though it has been fun, it has been one long day."
he nodded once.
"want to stay the night again? you can sleep upstairs in my room tonight if you want, i think missy has kind of taken over your spot."
he said with a laugh.
"i probably shouldnt, i need to get home, i gotta get my mail water my plants, all that jazz."
he watched me with a light gaze as i gathered up my things.
"well, im glad you could come over. and if you want to come back tomorrow for lunch-"
"id love that marcus."
i said and he smiled at me, a small blush visibly rising to his face.
"its a date?"
he asked, walking to the door with me. i thought for a second and nodded.
"yeah, its a date."
i said, his smile getting wider as i stepped outside.
"ill text you what time ill be over."
"ill be waiting."
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Note
Oh! What about a classification universe where everyone takes a test and gets their classification (little,neutral, caregiver). Everyone gets what was expected (Virge and Ro little and Pat, Lo, and Janus are caregivers). Everyone expects Remus to get neutral but he gets little. He tries to hide it for a bit until Logan walks in and finds out! (Maybe Pat could be Virgil's cg and Janus could be Roman's? What ever works for you!) Thank you!
Warning: there be a few cuss words here babies.
Remus fiddled with the corners of the envelope he held between his fingers. The friend group had all taken the tests together so they could find out their classifications at the same time. And now here they were, all sitting around in Patton's living room.
He wasn't nervous of course. He knew what everyone including himself would get. Patton was literally the dad friend so of course he would be a caregiver, and if Patton was the dad friend, Logan was the stricter, more cautious mom friend. Then there was Janus who was also a mom friend, but a little more relaxed. He would bet money that Virgil and his brother were littles. Vee already exemplified basically all of the traits and he and Patton pretty much already had a caregiver, regressor relationship going as it was. Then of course Roman was just childish and creative. But Remus? Remus was all crude jokes, chaotic energy and innuendo. He would not be a good caretaker and definitely not a regressor. So he was okay with being the only neutral in the group and told them all as much.
"Now kiddo, we havent even opened our envelopes yet! We dont know what any of us are going to be. Don't make assumptions."
Patton wagged a finger at him playfully.
Logan straightened his glasses. "Actually the true answer lies between both of your responses. While we technically dont know what our results are yet we can make an educated guess based on the traits we exemplify and how likely it is for us to be sorted into each category baised off our traits."
"Ugh! Let's just do it already! I'm tired of waiting!" Roman said exasperated before practically ripping into his. He beamed at the results. "We were right! 'Regressor: 4 to 7 headspace!" He cheered. Janus rolled his eyes with a smile. "Now that one was obvious." There are cheers and congratulations from around the circle and they move on to the next person. Janus is of course a caregiver, as are Logan and Patton. When the circle reaches Virgil he shrinks in on himself and fidgets with his envelope, looking at it like it might come to life and bite him.
"Here kiddo," Patton offered, holding out his hand "would you like me to read it?" Verge nodded and handed it to Patton, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking down.
Patton carefully opens the envelope and scans the contents before breaking out in a smile. "Regressor: 1 to 4 headspace!"
He immediately pulls Virgil in for a hug, likely to comfort him and quell any panic that might be arising as everyone else congratulates him. Virgil of course latches on like a sea monkey and rests his head on Pattons shoulder with a small smile, giggling as the dad friend whispers some joke in his ear, almost assuredly a pun.
Finally only Remus is left. With all eyes on him he smirks and tears open his envelope, ripping out the paper only to stop dead at what he sees in print. He only has a few seconds to think quickly, keep his poker face and turn it into a smile as he tucks his paper back in the envelope.
"Well no fucking surprise here! Nuetral!" Patton reprimands his language but they all smile and clap for him, although Janus looks at him a tad suspiciously.
"Well we should all probably get home. It is getting rather late." Janus commented.
Roman gets a ride with him and Virgil decides to sleep over at Patton's place. That left Logan and Remus.
"Do you require a ride home Remus?" Logan asked.
"Nope! Just gonna shove a broomstick up my butt and fly home on it like a witch!"
Logan looked unimpressed.
"...yeah I could use a ride."
"Well alright then." Logan smiled and grabed his keys. The two waved to Patton and Virgil before heading out the door. They got in the car and Logan double checked to make sure Remus had his seatbelt buckled. He hadn't forgotten the time he almost flew through the windshield and got glass in his forehead because 'seatbelts just take all the excitement out of driving'
Remus rolled his eyes but complied and satisfied Logan began the drive to Remus's house, playing some nerdy music on the car audio.
Remus didnt look at Logan the whole drive. He just stared out the window and felt his stomach turn as he recalled the actual contents of his results.
A regressor. But he couldn't be! It had to be wrong! Roman was the childish one with his disney and cartoons. Remus was...punk, feral, deranged some might even say...he was the furthest thing from a kid.
A few minutes later his thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing and he sighed. It was Roman telling him that Janus had agreed to try out being his caregiver and he was going to spend a few days at his house instead. He was going to have a few very lonely days ahead of him. But that might be for the best as he has to process everything.
Before he even realized it Logan was pulling up to his house. He thanked him devoid of his usual energy and walked inside. Missing the concerned look Logan threw his way.
The first thing he did was hide his letter under his mattress and then he stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out how this could have happened.
He came to the conclusion that he wasnt a regressor. The tests were wrong. Or at least he wasnt going to be. He was Remus for satans sake and he intended to stay that way. And if he ever started to feel SMALL. Well then he would just ignore it until it went away. That shouldn't be too hard right?
Wrong. It had been three weeks since they all got their classification and Remus felt like absolute shit.
Both Roman and Virgil had regressed a few times and were settling in with their caregivers. They seemed...happy. but Remus? He was just tired. Every once in a while (especially when things seemed to get ovewhelming) he would feel his head start to go fuzzy and he would begin to feel an odd sense of calm and a sinking feeling. However he was always able to push it down and shake it off before continuing on with his day like it hadn't happened. The only problem was it seemed to be increasing in frequency. It had gone from happening a few times a week to a few times a day and truth be told he was starting to get overwhelmed.
Then it happened. The worst episode hit him while they were all hanging out at his house. The others were having some sort of conversation but he couldn't focus on what they were saying. Too busy trying to get rid of it. It wasnt working though. He subconsciously leaned into the nearest person to him for comfort, which happened to be Logan. He raised an eyebrow at this as Remus was generally not one for physical affection. He wraps an arm around his waist anyways. If Remus needed him he would oblige. "Are you quite alright Remus?" He asked causing Remus to jump and realize what he had been doing. He had to get out of there. Now.
"Mhm! Yuppers, fit as a fiddle...I'm gonna go lay down. Bye!"
And with that he scampered off to his room. Curling up in his blankets he took his envelope out from under his mattress and glared at it as if that would somehow magically change the results. But of course it didn't. All of a sudden his emotions were alot harder to suppress and he was just so confused and upset and angry all at once. He felt something warm on his face and realized he was crying which made him cry harder, he stuffed a blanket covered fist in his mouth to try and muffle the sounds and hugged a pillow close to his chest.
There was a knocking at the door then. "Remus? Are you quite alright? You left rather suddenly and I thought it best to check on you." Logans voice drifted in from outside his door and part of Remus wanted to open it and launch himself into his arms and just stay there, cuddled up while Logan comforted him. But he didn't. He wasnt a baby, he could deal with this on his own.
When no answer came Logan tried to knob and the door creaked open. Remus cursed himself silently for not locking it.
Upon seeing remus curled on the bed, teartracks down his face and obviously upset, logan rushed over and laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Remus? What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
That's when his eyes caught on the envelope on his bed and he picked it up. Remus emmiting a high pitched whine when he did.
Logan looked confused for all of a second before he put the pieces together.
"...you arent actually a neutral, are you?"
He shook his head sadly and Logan sighed, sitting on the bed with him.
"Remus, you didnt have to hide this. We're all here to support you." He rested a hand on his shoulder again and Remus leaned into the touch, giving Logan an idea.
"Remus, may I hold you?"
He practically jumped at the offer and noded vigorously. That's all he wanted right now.
Logan smiled softly and crawls on the bed, leaning up on the headboard and pulling Remus against his chest, where he instantly relaxed. He hummed softly to him and rested a hand on his back.
"May I see your results?" He asked and Remus nodded slowly. He trusted Logan.
Logan nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of Remus's head as he opened up the envelope and took a look at the contents inside.
Regressor: 3 to 7 headspace.
Logan nodded to himself and slipped it back in the envelope.
"Thank you for letting me see that Remus, can you tell me how old you are right now?"
"M seventeen." He mumbled and Logan sighed, changing tactics.
"How many times have you regressed in the last three weeks?"
There's a long pause and Remus shifts awkwardly against him.
"Remus?"
"....none." he whispered. He knew it wasn't good to suppress regression but he had done it anyways.
Logan pursed his lips, but honestly he had expected this.
"Come on love," he coaxedRemus out of the bed. "We're going to get you out of the house so you can regress without being around everyone. Is that alright with you?"
He noded and followed Logan. They left with some excuse about running an errand and get in Logan's car. He made sure Remus was buckled and started the engine.
"Where we goin?" Remus asked curiously.
"The store." Logan responded. "I assume you dont have any supplies?"
Remus blushed and nodded his head. No use buying little gear if you told yourself you weren't going to regress.
They pulled into the parking lot of a store for that purpose a few minutes later and Logan took his hand as they walked through the parking lot which only served to make him feel smaller and push him further into regression.
When they entered the store Logan took him down a few aisles, stopping when they reached the toys.
"Okay, you may pick out two toys, I'm going to go and get you a few more things. Stay there alright?"
Remus nodded, in awe of all the options the toy isle held. While Logan was off shopping he picked out a nerf gun and an octopus plushie, running up to the cart excitedly to drop them in when Logan returned.
He smiled. "Did you find something you liked little cephalopod?" This caused Remus to nod and giggle happily and Logan chuckled back in response. He had filled the cart with other supplies. Sippy cups, pacifiers, a couple of snacks and small foods as well as some assorted juice boxes.
Remus looked at them all in excitment. And Logan led him through the checkout. Buckling him back up in the car with his octopus, the rest of the bags in the back.
Remus swung his legs happily in the passenger seat while he clutched his new stuffie. Gaining a small smile from Logan.
"Are you alright if we go back to my apartment cephy?"
Remus nodded happily and they made their way to where Logan lived. He was the oldest and so he lived on his own in an apartment just off his college campus.
He quickly unloaded all the groceries and picked Remus up, carrying him inside much to his delight.
The two spent the rest of the day together. Remus ate dinosaurs nuggets and ketchup for dinner which he used to create a whole mess that Logan rolled his eyes fondly at but cleaned up. Then they watched cartoons and snuggled together and Logan watched as he used a new coloring book. Praising every drawing even if they were slightly... unorthodox. Eventually Logan announced that it was bedtime for little boys and while Remus pouted when he was set down on the soft bed he couldn't help but look at Logan like he put all the stars in the sky and he gathered up the courage to ask him his question.
"Lolo?"
"Yes Chephy?"
"Will you be my caregiver?"
"I would be delighted to."
The day ended perfectly for both of them, cuddling on the bed until they fell asleep.
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vr2 · 3 years
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haha anyways genshin must be on some wild fucking shit if they think theyre gonna try and drag out their main story for like 2 years. on god having like half a year between main chapters of its already weak spindly little story is like mindboggling decision i do not trust your storytelling skills at all to make any of the hype worth it but i also think thanks to the general playerbases inability to read they will continually feel disappointment at how poor genshins main story content is and how it is purveyed to the reader especially in comparison to the lore which is completely jarring in quality of delivery.
in the archon quest at the end of liyue chapter you get a lore dump from zhongli where he just stands there and gives you like 3 quest prompts about shit that exists for no reason other than idk “they needed to put the plot threads in there asap and they forgot they had an entire world to do it in” and then that mf disappears. forever. literally exiled from the overworld unless you pay like ninety quid to summon him on his banner. not to mention every single other npc you meet will never appear again outside of their instanced quests. it’s such a weird jarring end point that you’re left stranded in and its not only a frustratingly awkward delivery, it honestly just seems pointless. why couldn’t there have been an extended epilogue that involves talking to the npc character FROM inazuma, talking to beidou who is a pirate with an electro vision about idk ... travel and her ELECTRO vision being granted which is a feat she in known for in the lore of liyue folk. it could even be someone from the qixing like ningguang who surely would know about the status of foreign nations or keqing who has an electro vision and would absolutely have something to say about baal’s stance on things and her condescension towards humans. god it could still even be zhongli just space it out, let him invite us to dinner and chat over liyue cuisine and let inazuma come up naturally thgouh paimons huge appetite to eat new things. not only would the pacing be better, the plot threads be put in a way where you dont immediately forget them because they’re being rapidfire talked at you, but it would be a great way to make the character seem like theyre people with lives and not just trying to move the plot along and be on their way.
conversely, the story of arundolyn and rostam, the legends of mondstadt and the ordo favonius, the lion and the wolf, the building hints towards the cataclysm of khaenri’ah and what kind of nation earned the scorn of the gods -- its all slowly fed to you piece by piece linked through artifacts, world lore, in-game books, weapons and sometimes the world itself. you uncover things as you explore and the more thoroughly you explore - the more you discover! it’s rewarding, it feels natural and its some of the most fun you have piecing together stories and building out this strange world like some kinda anime historian and it encourages theorycrafting rather than a concrete set of events and characters being straightforward. its genuinely interesting that theres a whole society and cast of characters from the days of yore who are intimately connected with our current cast and the world we live in but also very much their own interesting characters who hold their own legacies and wills, carving them into the stars for ill or good.
its almost as if the main quest writers and the lore writers are completely separate, work on different floors and they dont ever meet because why ... why on earth would you deliver critical parts of the main story in such a blatantly poor way and make it have none of the nuance and intrigue as the worldbuilding? in a game that is designed for the express purpose of making people sympathetic and invested with characters to spend silly money on them? you think your paper thin story is going to let you do that? no gacha game is allowed to have storytelling subpar to the most average middle of the pack lightnovel and get away with being a gacha game. your story has to have at least a few moments where i am dazzled, daresay fucking delighted, at least a second where i have to stop and say ‘this is cool as hell’ or ‘FUCK ITS HAPPENING’ or else it is well and truly expendably worthless non-product! you have to be a little more ambitious than making some normie shit and try and make the story have a little heart! i dont doubt that they can do it, im sure there are talented writers there since i like a lot of the characterisations but man, let em free you need them no more than ever
the only thing i can think of that explains how watered down the story feels in comparison to lore, is a fear of making people ‘read too much’ in the main quests which honestly doesnt seem to be much of an issue to them. lanternrite wasnt that long but the sheer amount of npc dialogue feels staggering because its all ultimately ... inconsequential. we have no investment into these npcs and theres like 15 odd quests of it, it goes from cool world flavour text to genuinely feels like its taking up space all because they are trying to endear you to the lives of these generic npcs when you’d rather know like even one thing about chongyuns life and daily routine or xinyans performances. being able to see kaeya for one second even was the most fun and even then i was still disappointed cause its like bro? you didnt even let him do anything and it was JUST him? in the world there are so many characters explicitly referenced but never utilised and it makes their complete absence even more noticeable and frankly fucking baffling? not even fate episodes for all of our 12 SRs? actually nevermind, even the character stories are somehow unforgivably generic!
honestly i feel like the best event so far was the unreconciled stars event but by my standards it definitely felt like ‘solid gacha game event story’ with a touch of something more interesting with the inclusion of scaramouche’s lore insight. i was hoping this his how events would be in genshin, i really thought that this was the ‘standard’ but for some reason, its beginning to seem like that event was a bit of an outlier? i would gladly take less events and have them be more like the unreconciled stars event, with character interactions and slowly improving and hashing out who these characters are over never-ending carousel of random events that are mostly fetch-quests or fluff.
idk man its just a strange mess of me enjoying genshins world and theorycrafting, loving playing the game and exploring but feeling like the ball is not bein dropped but violently slammed into the ground by the sheer lack of character content whilst being praised by everyone under the sun for ‘story’ and ‘characters’. m*hoyo do better bitch! you already made such a good roster of characters now fuckin do something with them! stop releasing new characters without bothering with any of the existing ones! i beg of you!
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onewfantaesy · 3 years
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Taemin is adjusting well :D does he ever get the courage to go visit his guardian angel parents in prison after a few years? Write them because he still loves them? Or is he advised by sooman and his therapist to completly block them out of his life?
Upside Down: The Letter
(tw abuse, kidnapping)
Taemin is advised by both his therapist and Sooman to not seek out any contact with the couple who kidnapped him, at least not so soon. It might do more harm than good right now, they told him.
They’re in jail for a long time, but not forever. Fifteen years. Taemin had been told that was a lenient sentencing. He didn’t think it sounded very lenient.
It wasn’t hard to find out how to contact them. A private browser and a few searches later, and he had mailing addresses for both of them, for the two separate prisons they were in. It still made his heart ache at the idea of his parents being in prison. Like criminals. They weren’t criminals.
He can’t go visit them. There was no way it would work. He’s a minor and the supposed victim and he would no doubt need Sooman to sign him in, not to mention how he would even get there?
So he decided to write a letter. The same one to both of them, pretty much.
Hi Mom,
It feels really weird writing you a letter and not being able to just talk to you. But a lot of people told me I can’t talk to you yet, so I can’t even try to call you and it sucks a lot. I want to visit you so so bad but I know no one will let me. I just want you to know I miss you a lot and I want to see you really bad, but for now all I can do is send you letters. It’s better than nothing I guess. I hope you’ll write me back.
This has been the absolute worst year of my entire life. Every time I thought it couldn’t get worse, it got a million times worse.
The people they sent me to, my “parents,” were the worst. They were evil. Completely evil. Then they said I was actually fourteen not sixteen and they wouldn’t even let me go in the right grade at school, they would get all pissed whenever I said I wasnt supposed to be in first year, and they made me repeat it. I hated it. My new school was stupid and gross and everyone was stupid and gross.
I won’t tell you what else happened because I don’t want to make you upset. I ended up getting taken away from them after a few months. I was happy to be away from them. But I thought it would mean I would get to go back to you, but it didn’t, and it just made everything worse. But they’re not my parents. You and Dad are my parents. I just want you to know you’re still my parents. You’ll always be my parents, I don’t care what anyone else says. Everyone else says I have Stockholm Syndrome. I don’t even really know what Stockholm Syndrome is but I know I don’t have it.
Then I ended up at this group home. It was called a boys home or something. Like forty other teenage boys all in this one big gross house and there were four of us in each room and it was the worst. I’m never gonna complain about the SHINee dorm ever again.
Then I got sent to another new school and they still put me in first year and I hated it even more and no one would listen to me at all. And my roommates were crazy and evil.
But then Lee Sooman visited me and he promised everything would be okay. I thought he was gonna say he found a way for me to go back to you and Dad. But he said I had to wait. And to fight back if anyone hurt me.
So I fought back but then I got in a lot of trouble and so I ran away. I went to the company building. And then Sooman adopted me. He adopted both of us. And I hadn’t seen brother at all and I missed him so much but he’s here now. I still can’t believe Sooman adopted him too. He’s really nice. I think he’s a good dad.
And I still don’t really know what’s going and everyone still says I’m only fifteen and it all feels like a nightmare.
I miss you. I miss you so much. Please write me back because I miss you more than anything and I still feel like I’m in a nightmare.
I told everyone I think you and Dad are my guardian angels. Because you didn’t kidnap me, you saved me. Right? Because you love me.
I love you. Please write me back.
Love,
Taemin
Taemin includes both the address for the dorm and for home for them to write him back. And for weeks, Taemin checks both mailboxes religiously, to best anyone else to them, so no one will see if he gets a letter from a prison. It has to be a secret. It has to be a total secret.
But when he still hasn’t gotten any letters after three weeks, he loses hope. He gets frustrated and upset and angry, and he thinks he’s never going to hear from his parents ever again.
Until he comes home after school one day to find Sooman sitting at the kitchen table holding his head up, a letter in front of him. Just a single letter, still in the envelope. Unopened.
“Are you mad at me?” is the first thing out of Taemin’s mouth.
“No,” Sooman says immediately, and he sits up straight and motions for Taemin to come sit down with him.
So Taemin goes over, sits in the furthest end from Sooman as he can, and he keeps his backpack on his lap to hug close to him.
It’s a letter from his mom. Sitting there in the table. Staring at him.
“Can I open it?”
Sooman sighs and runs a hand over his face, but he pushes the letter over to Taemin.
“You can open it,” he says softly. “But I want you to read it here first. With me.”
“Out loud?”
“No, not if you don’t want,” Sooman says. “I just would like to be with you while you read it.”
Taemin tears into the envelope with eager fingers, rips the paper out, and unfolds it so fast he almost tears it in half.
And the first thing he does is run his fingers over his name written in his mom’s handwriting. Because it’s something so simple but he missed seeing it, reminds him that she still exists, that she’s still there and still thinking about him.
But not even halfway through the letter, he’s gripping the paper too tight and he’s got tears in his eyes. Because she’s telling him he’s wrong. The one person in the world who should be agreeing with him, who should think exactly the same as him. And she’s saying exactly what everyone else is.
Taemin, your father and I love you more than anything. We took you in because we love you. But we aren’t your guardian angels. And we never were.
What we did was wrong. We wanted to help you and we wanted you to be our child, but we did it the wrong way. And we will never regret taking you or your brother, because we will always love you, but that doesn’t make it right.
“She’s wrong,” he argues through fresh tears, shaking his head. “She’s wrong. They are my guardian angels, they are. I know it.”
He’s crying and his head is dipped low, the letter crinkling in his hands.
All Sooman does is move into the chair next to Taemin, and he puts a comforting arm around Taemin’s shoulders, squeezing his arm. Taemin tries reading the rest, tries to get through the end of the letter, but the tears are blurring his vision and the sobs he refuses to let out are wracking his entire body, and he just can’t.
“I think now,” Sooman says softly, letting Taemin turn into him, hugging him back, “you understand why we said it was too soon to try to contact them.”
“But why?” he asks, his voice muffled. “I don’t - I don’t understand.”
“I don’t either,” Sooman says. “They may not even understand.”
“I just - I can’t-” he stammers, “If they’re not my guardian angels, then - then what are they?”
Sooman is quiet. Doesn’t answer for a few minutes, just continues holding Taemin close. And Taemin is sure he’s going to get lectured or yelled at about how his guardian angel idea is stupid and childish and he’s been told before that it isn’t true so he needs to stop believing it.
Instead, Sooman’s voice is soft and reassuring as he tells Taemin, “They were your parents. And in many ways, they will always be your parents. Because I do truly believe they loved you. And they loved your brother. And they loved the family you all were together.”
It surprises Taemin, because it’s not really something Sooman has ever said, not really something anyone has said since all of this started.
“But I want you to know,” Sooman says, “that you have a family right here that loves you, too. And we all only want what’s best for you.”
Taemin nods, tears still falling from his eyes.
The letter is put away somewhere safe. Somewhere Taemin can read it again later. When he’s ready. And when the letter from his dad comes, Taemin asks Sooman to keep it with the letter from his mom.
“Just until I’m ready,” he says.
“Just until you’re ready,” Sooman agrees. “And you can tell me whenever that is.”
It helps. Taemin is glad to know they’re in a safe place, even if he doesnt know when he’ll be ready to finally read them.
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koyurim · 4 years
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it’s okay to not be okay 7-8
ive been holding back on saying this drama is perfect because i didnt want to jinx it, but at the halfway mark, i have no choice BUT to say, IT IS PERFECT.
we hit the halfway mark and both of our leads have cut off their leashes. what’s brilliant is that these moments feels so earned and we can see the hard work that both have put in to get to this place. both have come to a place where they’re willing and learning to step into growth, and they’re supported by one another so well. moon-young has to be the one to cut her hair, but kang-tae is there to help her trim it. kang-tae decided not to apologize for his actions because they were truly what he wanted to do and moon-young is there to take him on a trip afterwards (she’s also been taking care of him so subtly as well). 
the two of their relationship is so well crafted. in these two episodes, we got the most emotional growth but they were in these smaller, less dramatic moments of intimacy and comfort. the stairwell scene was so casual but clearly showed the ways they’re willing to accommodate and open up to one another--kang-tae loosens up around her and she holds back for him. i love the way that their feelings for each other is growing because it feels so natural that they are slowly opening up to each other and leaning on one another despite being in complete denial. everything between them is so raw and real! even their interaction when kang-tae gets jealous is layered with a real fear that she only sees him as an object to desire. 
(i think moon-young is only JUST beginning to consider ‘love.’ desire, attraction, lust? yes. but love? it seems like it just crossed her brain in the beauty and the beast class). kang-tae’s denial of his feelings (and himself) is full blown, but as moon-young encourages him to loosen up and let go, she’s building a special place in his heart. when kang-tae finally lets go, he’s forced to confront what he truly wants and we see that everyone expects him to just hold back. however, moon-young is the first to really see him and care for his wants. she’s been slowly working on loosening his safety pin, and turns out, just by being herself (standing up to a-reum’s abuser) she manages to undo his safety pin. 
obviously, there’s still so much growth ahead now that they’ve decided to free themselves from their past, but i’m so fucking PROUD of them and am looking forward to their continued growth. they look so much freer and relieved, our kang-tae is actually smiling and moon-young finds herself being comforted by his warmth. i also think that during class, moon-young might have had a moment where she realized how she coerced kang-tae into living with her was manipulative. i really hope the show decides to dive in and have her apologize for this. 
sang-tae and moon-young fighting over mang-tae (kang-tae) is so silly and cute and i’d enjoy it more if i wasnt eminently worried about the impending conflict that kang-tae will face in being forced to ‘choose’ between sang-tae (repression) or moon-young (freedom). i have a lot of confidence that the show writers will handle this well and develop the relationships to a point where kang-tae doesnt have to hold back and can have healthy relationships with both his brother and moon-young. i like how this love triangle is shaped by sang-tae’s fear of losing his brother. while kang-tae has spent his whole life infantilizing sang-tae, sang-tae does feel a sense of ownership to kang-tae. the two have stated that they each belong to themselves, but actually living out those assertions in real life is much different; the two are very co-dependent and probably have never not lived in the same room as each other. change is hard and sang-tae’s probably unsettled by this change in dynamic. nonetheless, i’m looking forward to having my heart ripped out by these brothers. 
when it comes to family, i absolutely was emotionally crushed by the themes of motherhood that came with episode 7 “the cheerful dog.” in the second episode, moon-young states that the painful memories linger longer and this helf true when kang-tae realizes he’s forgotten those happier moments of love with his mother (kim soo hyun’s eyelids just twitch and i am a MESS). the way the show revealed these moments didn’t erase the hurt that kang-tae experienced or justify his mom’s actions, but provided another layer of our understanding of mothering. kang-tae has a hard time connecting with folks outside his brother and we see that his mother was in the same position. she still hurt him, but she was also trying her best. there are so many sides to parenting. i thought jae-su and ju-ri’s mom brought different viewpoints that were equally valid when they were comforting kang-tae. 
the visual storytelling to convey all these points continues to be done in the most elegant and moving way. moon-young holds the umbrella over kang-tae. she cuts her hair in front of distorted mirror (she’s supposedly a reflection of her mother). kang-tae’s shirt is literally SO worn because he doesn’t take care of himself. my heart!!!!!! cant take it!!!!!! but i love it!!!!!
our side characters are so fun! while on paper they seem pretty normal and mundane, but they’re interesting and fascinating in their own right. ju-ri’s a great second lead because despite being so normal; she is very self-aware and now that she’s been rejected, she hasn’t been going out of her way to impose on kang-tae. i find her outburst while drunk hilarious and telling that there’s something more under the surface. i enjoy that sang-in is courting her now but dont necessarily know that i needed him to full on move in with her for this to happen. we also got a little more of jae-su’s history! i was glad that they allowed jae-su to be mad at kang-tae because kang-tae’s actions do impact those around him outside of his brother. jae-su’s also so insightful in noting that kang-tae needs a friend (and so does sang-tae!!!). 
theories: moon-young’s mom seems to haunt her dad and moon-young. i think for separate reasons though? it feels like both of them had a hand in her death and disappearance (moon-young probably more on the part of her inaction/choosing not to save her mom). i believe that moon-young’s mom and kang-tae’s mom’s death are connected by the butterflies. moon-young destroys butterflies for the same reason that sang-tae is afraid of them, but what is that reason exactly? 
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hardyimagines · 5 years
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Scarred
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Hi there can I get anything to do with season 5 alfie feeling insecure about his face and thinking his s/o would no longer love him😫can be fluffy or nsfw or both🌚it’s honestly up to you, thanks! xx
( not my gif, credit to the rightful owner )
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“I thought the doctor said the bullet wasn’t even close to your brain?” You murmured from your knelt position on the tattered sofa. Hunched over your boyfriend, you sat on your knees with your fingertips lazily tracing the length of his soft skin. You were caressing the parts of his face that weren’t injured, careful not to get too close to the tissue that was still healing. Alfie was speechless now, merely furrowing his brows in a cute expression of pure confusion. He pressed his lips together, beard poking out just a little further than normal because of the action. When you made no movement to speak any further though, the man adjusted himself on the sofa beneath you, grumbling incoherently before he spoke up audibly.
“You fucking what? Bullet, yeah went through my cheek, here, didn’t it, yeah, so..” Alfie lifted his hand. Placing his palm over the scarred part of his face, he set his elbow on the arm of the furniture and pretended to be leaning instead of merely hiding. His want to finish his sentence was cut short when you parted your lips and began to talk over him.
“Well you’re asking foolish questions so I’m just trying to make sure a little piece of that bullet didn’t somehow hit your brain.” Lifting your hand to the side of his head, you brushed your thin fingertips through his soft locks, lazily stroking his scalp before you grabbed ahold of his wide palm and removed it from his face.
“Pet,” Alfie’s voice deepened considerably. “I made a fucking statement, right?”
“Then you asked for my opinion.” You pointed out. Shaking your head because the man was actually beginning to frustrate you, you laid your hands back on his cheeks and turned his head toward you fully. “I don’t think you’re ugly in the slightest.”
Prior to this, Alfie had been shying away, poorly attempting to hide the scar on his face because he knew what he looked like — he knew he was hideous. He wasn’t sure why you were pretending to still find him attractive or why you were sitting at his side, knelt so close to him with that doe-eyed look.
“You wouldn’t fucking tell me the truth, right, why on earth would you agree to that. See, yeah, because you’re fucking dating me, I can’t hear you agreeing to me saying I look fucking disgusting. Right, and I wasn’t exactly the most handsome beforehand so this fucking scar has really gone and fucked me over hasn’t it?”
It was almost impossible to swallow down the amusement bubbling in your stomach. Alfie really was an idiot.
In all honesty, you didn’t see a damn thing wrong. Of course, you preferred Alfie without the bullet wound — but that was only because the scar was a reminder that he’d been shot by someone he’d considered to be a mate for a while.. someone who could very well come back and try and finish him off. It reminded you that Alfie lived a very dangerous life and he could be taken from you at any given moment. Your fingers twitched and then tensed, falling from his warm cheeks instead to the thick fabric of his coat. Clutching on to it, you wiggled closer. Appearance wise, it didn’t affect you at all. You knew it ordinarily should’ve, you should’ve been somewhat repelled by the scarring that lined half of his face.. you knew anybody would be a little hesitant or distracted. That was normal.. what wasn’t normal was finding the man even more handsome. There was still no flaw, despite the one staring you dead in the face.
The realization of why you still found Alfie to be as attractive as he was dawned on you. And it simultaneously scared you and excited you.
You loved him.
The space between the two of you vanished. Placing your small hands on the back of his hot neck, you drew him forward and into you so you could kiss his rambling lips. He went silent instantly, apart from the little hums of enjoyment that escaped him subconsciously. Alfie relaxed against the cushions, tense muscles growing to be loose. Your mouth was slow, soft, careful as it moved against his own. He could tell you weren’t just kissing him, you were trying to tell him something without having to use your words. He almost smiled against your lips, but found it easy to bite back when your tongue pried past your plump, pink mouth to venture into his own.
“I’m sorry.. Mr Solomons?” The woman he’d hired to keep his home tidy poked her head into the small den. Accidentally ruining the little moment the pair of you had been sharing, she brushed her fingers along the length of the doorway — a shy action to relieve some of the awkwardness her presence had created. “I’m all finished.” Right after the accident, you’d hired Emily to help out around Alfie’s. He wasnt capable of making dinner or keeping his house clean, he was always so tired from the medication he was on and stressed because he worried about Cyril and his business. You were busy with work on weekdays so it was really only at night, when you shared his bed, and on weekends that you got to spend a lot of time with the handsome man.
Prying yourself out of his secure grip, you brushed your fingers through your hair and inhaled deeply before looking in the woman’s direction. You’d helped pick her. She was very sweet, kept to herself, did her duties and then went on her way. Alfie let out a hoarse grunt before nodding his head once in her direction. His thick fingers ran along the length of your back, caressing it before he stood from his slouched position on the sofa.
“I’ll be paying you tomorrow, yeah, instead of on Friday. Going out of town that day, remember, fuck ton of stuff I need to get done.” The man shoved his hand into the deep pocket that lined his trousers. Dragging the gray slip of paper which had all her hours written on it, he shook the flimsy thing before setting it down on the desk so he could write down her hours for the day.
You shuffled on the couch. He wasn��t going anywhere. You thought it was cute, how much he wanted to go back to work and resume with where things had left off, but that was too risky. You weren’t going to let him go off to Camden Town, tell everyone he’d returned from the dead and then let Tommy Shelby show up announced to put another bullet wound on the opposite side of his face. Your lips twitched south, heart sliding down, down, down and into your tight stomach. The second Emily had confirmed he’d written down the right amount of hours, she grasped her coat from the rack in the corner and sent a short wave in your direction. You tipped your head toward her sweetly, but the kind gesture didn’t match the worried expression on your face. You didn’t want anything to happen to Alfie.
Rising from the couch, you crossed the length of the room without hesitation and while the man was tucking the piece of paper away in his pocket, you slipped your arms around his waist and nestled your front against his broad back, catching him offguard. Alfie stiffened for a moment before peering over his shoulder and down at your sweet face. Your lower lip was pouted, eyes big and watery as you gazed up at him. Try as he might, you both knew when Friday came around, he’d be lounging in the armchair and you’d be perched on his lap — no care in the world to hold your own job if it meant ensuring Alfie wasn’t getting into any trouble.
He twisted around and locked his strong arms around your small shoulders. Holding you against him securely, his mouth skimmed the top of your head. He’d never be able to understand why you cared about him so much or why you were so eager to stick around. His unanswered questions though, were about to be answered. Those three words were burning the tip of your tongue, but you took your time blurting them out.. your heart was beating so fast and your tongue felt swollen.
Alfie, in all honesty, hadn’t expected you to hang around after he was pronounced dead. Nobody else had come around, banging on the door of a deceased man. But you had. And you’d come daily, hitting the wood with your tightly curled fist in order to just be around Alfie’s belongings. The scent was comforting, the familiarity of his home. He was in the hospital, unbeknownst to you and you were curled up on his sofa, unbeknownst to him. Before he had a maid, it was easy to sneak into his home, knocking cautiously beforehand to ensure nobody was inside — cleaning it out, ridding of his things. Then one day, you’d come around and when you’d knocked, the gangster had answered. He was stood broad and tall with a hard expression on his face. He looked worn and exhausted, much paler than you’d remembered. You’d both been speechless for what felt like forever.
“Pet?” Alfie drew you from your thoughts. The words you’d been about to confess were forgotten for a moment. He was staring at you with such care glistening in those enrapturing blue eyes of his. You sent him a soft smile before leaning up on your tiptoes to steal a very soft kiss. “Alright?”
“Hm?” You nodded. “Why wouldn’t I be?” You felt like you were suddenly floating. The man in front of you was all yours and it was only hitting you now what that truly meant. Before this whole ordeal, when Alfie was going to work and his face was void of any scar, things had felt like they were just for fun. The pair of you fooled around, despite where you were, on the job, at the park, at home, it didn’t matter. Course, it didn’t feel like your relationship was strictly sex, but you hadn’t exactly envisioned being tied down to this man at any point. Now here you were, swallowing thickly in order to silence the heavily hammering beat of your heart. Nothing had ever been casual between the two of you. The minute he’d invited you around, it should’ve been a given that your heart was being given over to him. You didn’t do casual things. Casual sex wasn’t who you were. You were too emotionally invested in people. In him.
“Alfie,” You whispered breathily, when your head was beginning to pulsate from all the raging thoughts. You tipped your head back in order to see him fully, stomach twisting nervously despite the fact that you were sure he returned the feelings. “Alfie, I love you.” You told him softly. The whisper was almost inaudible, but he’d heard you clearly. His hands was delicately tracing your warm skin, absentmindedly caressing your soft flesh before he stilled at your confession. His mouth ran dry and his face felt hot. He knew the words weren’t too surprising, he’d been waiting to hear them for forever.. but now that you’d actually said them, it made everything all the more real. He blinked once and then twice, before his fingers resumed their soft strokes. You shivered beneath the warmth of his fingertips and the cold graze of his rings.
“Bout fucking time you told me, innit?” He joked. The man’s grip tightened in only the slightest so he could securely drag you into him. Your chest hit his silently as you lifted your arms in order to wound them around his neck. He grunted breathily, hunching forward in the slightest so his mouth could brush your cheek. “I love you.” He murmured. His breath tickled the side of your neck, and his words made your heart skip a beat. You let out a quiet sigh of delight before turning your head and catching his lips for a slow kiss.
His pink lips were warm and wet as they moved against your own. He laid his hand on the back of your head, holding you in place so he could kiss you as deeply as he pleased. He always took the lead and you always followed his every movement with your own. Alfie took a small step back, waiting patiently for you to follow along with him. It didn’t take long at all, your body was practically glued to his own, desperate to remain close and refusing to part for too long. He fell back on the arm chair and you collapsed instantly on his lap. Straddling his thighs with a slow smile and a shaky exhale, you broke the kiss long enough to sit up. Setting your hands on the arms of the furniture, you peered down at the man before biting on your bottom lip. Nothing felt as nice as telling someone you love them, and being told they felt the exact same.
Your fingertip lifted to the scar on his face and without hesitation, you caressed the tender space. He didn’t wince or flinch, for he felt comfortable and safe beneath your touch. You felt him stiffen momentarily, a sign he wanted to turn away and hide the impossible to remove patch of skin. You leaned in and kissed the space, reminding him that though he may feel self conscious about the injury, it didn’t bother you at all. Kissing up to his forehead, you drew his head forward and into your chest, cradling him as if he were a small child. You kissed his brown locks, ruffling them momentarily. His hair was shorter than it use to be. You used to almost suffocate between his shaggy brown strands when the pair of you made love. Now, it was short and easy to escape when you brushed your face against the top. Smiling to yourself, you pulled him in just a little closer.
“I love you.” You whispered into his strands before drawing back and hiding your face against his shoulder. He locked you in his embrace then, securely trapping you in place. You didn’t mind, neither of you going to be willing to move for a while.
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A/N: I feel sick, and I know this is absolutely shitty.
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