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msnihilist · 2 months

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"I dont support it in real life!"

Then why write about it? If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume? Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life? You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not? I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits... And also no, I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain. Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.

Then why write about it?

I like to write dark topics because they provide interesting avenues down which to explore characters/people. Duh. Why does one character survive to the end of a slasher movie? Because the audience/writer enjoys seeing someone struggle and overcome obstacles.

Sex is thematically used for intimacy and vulnerability. Aren't You Sick of Sleeping Alone? features a child character "consenting" to have sex with a drunk adult, because I thought putting the characters through something like this and seeing how they'd react the morning after would be interesting. Whisper Your Love is about a victim of CSEM struggling to find sexual liberation — and failing! The Need To Be Loved is about heartbreak and the inherent beauty/pain of vulnerability. all flowers (in time) bend towards the sun is about me self-projecting my struggles with intimacy onto my comfort characters.

These fics feature underage sex and non-con. Here are some of the reviews:

"The most emotional smut I've ever read" — all flowers

"I ended up crying a couple times because of how close it hit to home" — all flowers

"I read this until late at night, burning with delight, then went to bed, slept for 3 hours, woke up at 5 in the morning in an incredibly brutal desire to READ THIS AGAIN. and I did it. everything here is so good, sensual and simply charming to tears." — all flowers

"i think my heart was ripped out of my chest" — NTBL

"Just all of it is so so good, so well-written, so captivating, so clever, so detailed. I love how tragically realistic his trauma is." — WYL

"I'm terrified of the next chapter but super excited- the deep dive with morality you did was so fascinating and you can REALLY tell how much thought you put into this work." — AYSOSA

"God, this was an experience. Hard to read sometimes just from the fact how this acknowledges how sick and fucked up the situation is." — AYSOSA

This is not "something that I support in real life," you fucknut. This is art.

And you have the nerve to ask me why? Why did the Greeks tell tales of Sisyphus?

If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume?

I am not writing any of this for coping purposes.

I post it online for those who ARE coping to find, and for others like me who have an interest in pushing characters to their absolute limits. Why does the Saw franchise have so many fans?

I don't know how to tell you this, but as long as it doesn't involve REAL children, it is absolutely zero of your business what "actual predators" may or may not get off to. Whether it's my fics, a flat-chested actress in a school girl outfit, or fantasies in their own heads, all of that is doing zero tangible harm. No one is getting hurt. Why should I care?

Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?

Please find me a single one of my fics where the underage sex is supposed to be romantic or is portrayed as a good thing. I'll even help you out — here is a link to all of my fics tagged with underage sex. Take your time, anon. Go ahead. I will wait.

I'll spoil it for you — there is none. You know how I know that? Because by the very act of tagging my fics — adding that big, red exclamation point! — I am saying, "WARNING, THERE ARE BAD THINGS IN THIS STORY."

As for why I "write them in a positive light," uh, because it's not real? It makes for an interesting story? I'm trying to get off?? The author doesn't owe you or anyone an explanation.

My characters aren't turning to the camera and saying, "Wow, all of this underage sex was a great idea and everyone should do it without care for any consequences!"

If someone reads my fic and comes away with the idea that underage sex is good, then I think that says more about them and their absolutely EMPTY head than it does about me. Media literacy and analysis is taught for all twelve years of your public education, anon.

And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life?

"usually designed to resemble an actual child," is so funny, haha. I'm currently rewatching Phineas and Ferb in my downtime — I don't think actual children have triangle or sideways-T shaped heads.

Unlike you, I have no problem distinguishing, say, Ciel Phantomhive (exceptionally intelligent, cunning, ruthless, vengeful murderer) from a real-life sixth-grader (kind of loud, mostly annoying, learning algebra, probably shouldn't have caffeine).

Child characters are tools. For the sake of the story, they are smarter than actual children, more capable, able to problem-solve and generate significant conflict, etc. Child characters can argue when they're angry and explain themselves when they cry (real children feel angry and sad, too, but generally lack the emotional awareness to explain why they feel this way, let alone in a healthy, relationship-defining way).

Child characters are functionally the same as adult characters, just smaller. You know why, anon? Because they are not real and only exist as a vessel through which to tell a story.

Jesus Christ, your English teacher must be ashamed of you.

You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not?

I don't find "fictional minors" attractive, actually. I find characters attractive. Their age is negligible. My favorite characters are my favs for their personality and their themes. I loved Ben Tennyson, for example, when he was ten, and when he was sixteen, and I love him when I write him in his twenties, and thirties. Age is just another part of the story to tell. (I can write about a teenager struggling to make time for their new relationship, and I can write about that same character as a thirty-year-old doing taxes.) It doesn't mean anything more.

As for why other people do... Because humans like things that are aesthetically pleasing, and a large part of character design is making the character appealing to look at. It's literally the exact same reason why people like sunsets or pretty buildings or dog-grooming videos.

I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits…

Anon, if you call people pedophiles over drawings, I'm going to rip your IP address from this brain-dead ask, find you, and shove that shoe up your ass so far that you'll have to open your mouth to tie the laces.

And also no, I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain.

I am using my brain. Are you?

Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.

No, it's not. Get over yourself and find a real problem to care about. There are wars going on in the world, anon. People are dying.

#ask #anonymous #anti nonsense #proship #profic #my writing #i wasn't going to answer all of this because tldr tbh but i like to talk about my writing :)

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sky-kenobye · 3 months

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Fic idea that I've been obsessing over in the last couple of days:

TLDR: Obi-Wan gets dumped on his wedding day, Anakin suggests they get married instead to save Obi-Wan the humiliation (and money), he agrees, they get married and nobody realises the stunt they pulled (except for the few people they told), and they both realise that actually it's great to be married to each other and that they wouldn't have it any other way, and probably get their happily ever after.

(A lot more details under the cut for those who are interested!)

Obi-Wan is getting married to someone (I was thinking Satine at first but I don't want to bash on her just because she's in the way of my ship so let's say an original character 🤷), Anakin is his best man, and it's a kinda big and traditional wedding and they did the 'you can't see your bride until the ceremony' stuff, so Obi-Wan is already at the city hall(?), while the bride will be coming later, just before the start of the ceremony.

It's less than an hour before the start and some early guests are already getting there. One of the bride's guest (Padmé?) is arriving when she gets a phone call from the bride, telling her that the wedding is canceled, sorry for calling at the last minute but she had to call all the guests and she was the last one. At the same time Anakin is coming out of the building for whatever reason and Padmé is like 'wdym it's canceled? The best man is here, and I can see other guests!'. The bride kinda panicks and hangs up, and Padmé flags Anakin down to ask what's going on.

He's also baffled because Obi-Wan didn't say it was cancelled, he's ready to get married and everything and he saw him about 10 seconds ago. They try to call the bride back but she doesn't answer, then they try to call another guest of the bride that Padmé knows. She answers and they learn that apparently the bride called in the morning and said that Obi-Wan had cancelled the wedding and dumped her at the last minute and they were each calling their half of the guests to tell them not to show up (which is clearly a bunch of lies from the bride).

They go and explain all of this to Obi-Wan who's confused and angry and heartbroken. He manages to get on the phone with the bride who properly dumps him, and by that time there's very little time before the ceremony was supposed to start. Most of the (Obi-Wan's) guests are there, and it's kind of (very) humiliating to have to go in front of all these people that he knows and tell them "wedding cancelled, I've been dumped, you can go home", and on top of that it wasn't a super cheap wedding so that sucks, and the catering is already ready so he'll have to throw away a ton of food? Not a great situation.

So Anakin has an idea: what if they get married instead? It's crazy so Obi-Wan tries to argue against it:

We can't get fake married! Then let's get real married!

People will still know I've been dumped and I'm pathetically trying to save face! None of the bride's guests will be there so i doubt it.

It was still her name on the wedding announcement. Okay then, maybe she dumped you like idk a month ago and I took the opportunity to declare my secret love for you!

And we got married less than a month later? It's hard and expensive as shit to cancel a wedding on such a short notice so we took the opportunity! It's not so unrealistic for me and I could probably convince you to do it.

But then we'll be married. Yeah, so? There are worst things in the world.

Obi-Wan is skeptical but not saying no yet, and Padmé is like 'honestly coming from anybody else I'd think they lost it, but from you two? I can see it. Not even sure I'd be all that surprised tbh'.

Obi-Wan's not having a great time and getting married to Anakin sounds a thousand times better than telling people what actually happened so he says fuck it let's do it.

They form a quick battle plan: Obi-Wan will go talk to the officiant to change the bride's name to anakin's (is it legally possible in any country? Probably not but let's pretend it is and that the marriage is still valid), Anakin will find them new best men/women (probably quinlan for obi-wan and ahsoka for anakin? Or padmé since she's already in the loop) and brief them on the situation, and Padmé will find a ring that fits Anakin (she borrows one of the guest's, maybe Owen Lars'?).

Only a few minutes late, they come out in front of all the guests, do a quick speech explaining the unexpected change (with a few lies of course), and the ceremony begins. Everything goes smoothly, Obi-Wan improvises very moving (and actually 100% honest) wedding vows, Anakin is crying and forgot they needed wedding vows but manages to put a few sentences together which are equally as honest as Obi-Wan's and make people cry too (they think he forgot his vows because of the emotion). They put the rings on each other, kiss and all of that, and when they leave the building they're both beaming so wide that it doesn't occur to anybody to be suspicious, the grooms look so happy and in love!

Then it's time for the reception and everybody has a great time, the grooms have a very sweet first dance, and they're all over each other the entire evening, how adorable! And if they disappear for a little while (Obi-Wan may be happy to get married to Anakin but he still just got dumped, so he may want to have a few minutes to breath in a quiet corner and get a good hug) then everybody assumes they're making out in a closet or something. Owen laughs at them for forgetting the rings (which is what he assumes is the reason they needed his ring), and they get a lot of friendly ribbing for 'keeping their wedding a secret' from pretty much everybody.

And maybe after a few drink they do really disappear to make out and decide that marrying your best friend that you've always kind of been into without ever admitting it is pretty amazing actually.

#obikin #obikin wip #my writing #is it full of plot holes? probably #lets pretend it makes sense

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66sharkteeth · 7 months

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You might not be able to answer this without going into spoiler territory, but has the story or characters of City of Blank changed in any major or minor way since you started writing it? You obviously know how the story will end, but I'm just curious to know if you've stuck to your initial vision 100% from beginning to end, or if anything has influenced you to change certain things? If you have, it might be interesting to see a "What Could Have Been" section once the story has concluded.

The original plot is 100% and it's still ending exactly where I always originally planned, but we did end up taking a lot of different roads than the comic I wrote out in like...high school.

Things got rearranged, new characters got added (Christoph wasn't even thought of until around the end of s2), some characters were taken off the chopping block while others were added (obviously can't say who).

It also definitely got way more uh...personal? To me, and like not in a "these OCs are my babies" way I mean in...I started to use it a lot more as an outlet to get out some deep rooted feelings that came out the past few years. In addition to Rex's anxiety and depression that I...started to be able to write from much more firsthand experience lol, the past 5 years or so have brought out the worst in so many people and it really hurt to see how much a huge chunk of our world hates people like me and my friends just for wanting to exist. Rex was always going to be written to have a struggle between balancing his human and blank half, but in high school, it was much more of a like...just fun anime, kingdom hearts-ish type struggle haha. But as the years went on and I started to question my own identity and saw the struggles of certain groups in a system that actively just doesn't want them to exist...the themes in CoB became a LOT more than just haha fun anime blank monsters go brrr (I won't specify which groups to be clear, because I know many relate to it, but I do write it from my own perspective)

Episode 114 really says it all. That's my favorite episode in the entire series and probably will be even by the time it finishes. It's definitely the piece of media I've ever poured my entire heart into and just reading through the comments, I can tell a lot of people got exactly what I was saying in it.

Tbh, I kind of feel like that's a big part of what's missing in season 1 and why I kind of hate it? Because back then, it absolutely was written to just be fun anime adventure with no deeper meaning. I even remember telling people way back when "nah there's no deeper meaning." Which...it's fine for those exist to be clear... but I do think it's a key ingredient that I didn't start to sprinkle in until around s2 and fully include until s3.

So uhhh yeah. TLDR: Certain characters would be dead, plot points would have been different and probably equated to worse pacing, and it would have been a lot more probably lighthearted like s1 without ever getting into many deeper topics.

#city of blank

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noirrelite · 7 months

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So! Of all the Oc's you've created, who's your favorite? Like, is there someone whose backstory or personality or character design that are just so simply sublime that you can't help but giggle when you think about them?

Sorry for the super late reply! To be honest, I took AGES to finish answering this because I couldn't name just a SINGLE one if you put a gun to my head; I can't say I consider any of them full thought-out/developed and I actually love them almost equally Dx ...also I struggle to decouple what I love about them as a character from the narrative.... For the sake of my sanity (and mayhaps yours) I'll try to focus on Sierra for now (I'm still figuring her out tbh) TwT I did my best to omit *some* of the stuff that wasn't directly related to her so this ended up being more like a collection of stuff related to her that I think are neat and are very loosely in chronological order xD Let me just put this under a readmore cuz I'm a bit shy about answering these publicly TLDR: Sierra's a poor little meow meow who puts on a tough front but is an insecure, lonely mess inside and I enjoy that very much.

⦁ It wasn't intentional at first, but I really like that Sierra is a bit of a subversion of how Mesa (the archetype) is usually depicted/seen as? Mesa is generally depicted as this badass that's cool as a cucumber, confident in her abilities to the point that she handicaps herself with a bandana to "give herself a challenge". But the Lotus also introduces her as a vagabond/outcast, and I couldn't help but wonder why and wanted to put that into context.

⦁ Sierra is most of these things, but it's a front she puts on to act tough and reliable. She's lonely and insecure but would sooner gnaw her own leg off than let her vulnerabilities show.

⦁ She's confident in her ability to kill, but she has to be because it's the one and only thing she's good at and she can't stand the thought of making someone suffer. During the Old War, as one of the few sane autonomous warframes, she was often forced to put down her brothers and sisters that were too much trouble to keep alive because her abilities were perfect for the job, and since they were built to be durable, she often witnessed them suffering before dying, and cursed herself for it. The guilt became too much for her to bear and it became part of the reason she eventually lost her sanity and was placed in cryo for the rest of the Old War. As a result, she's very meticulous about modding her pistols, making sure they get the job done as fast and as painlessly as possible. ⦁ On the flip side, she's insecure about her abilities being nowhere as potent and as impressive as other warframes and felt inadequate in comparison to them. But it had never been much of a problem until The New War, when Tala went to face Erra and Ballas in her Excalibur instead of going with Sierra. Tala only intended to protect her, knowing how many Tenno were lost in the War at this point, but Sierra blamed herself for not being strong enough to be relied on, believing she could've saved Tala if she were there.

⦁ Vastly outnumbered by Narmer forces, she was desperate enough to resort to the Helminth system for healing and augmenting herself with abilities that weren't her own out of desperation, which ate away at her sanity over time. She also refused to open up to Drifter Tala, afraid that she'll abandon her (like she thought Tala did) if she perceived her as weak and unreliable.

⦁ She's aloof, distrusting and tries to keep her distance (especially when she first met Operator Tala and Drifter Tala) because she's afraid of becoming attached and going through the pain of losing someone dear to her again.

⦁ Sierra was the bastard child of a Dax and a commoner, and her hard work in honing her marksmanship (which landed her in the Warframe program) was so she could prove herself in the war and hopefully elevate her commoner side of the family to a better station and reunite with them, but the Old War and becoming a warframe made that dream impossible, and the scars it left made her close off emotionally, not wanting to hurt any further.

⦁ When she was rescued by Tala (who only went by "Operator" at the time) from Alad V, Sierra barely remembered anything from the Old War. Tala was convinced she was a Tenno despite their ship Cephalon not detecting any traces of void energy in her, because she was moving on her own despite being cured of the Mutalist infestation (mind you, Tala at this point also barely remembers anything from before the Dream, so she believes the Tenno were just beings that possessed warframes), and also because there was a time where Tala couldn't use her void powers either, so the two dumbasses convinced each other that Sierra was just an amnesic Tenno and she just needed time to remember. Tala would even try to teach her things like switching from one warframe to another, to no avail.

pictured: scrunkly, committer of warcrimes

⦁ In the meantine, Sierra took a liking to Tala's defective, diminutive Kubrow which had been given off to Tala because it was too small to be used for combat, and its presence also set her at ease. She really likes how soft they are to touch. (They'd eventually get more consigned kubrows later on.)

⦁ After some point Sierra recovers enough and warms up enough to the Operator to follow them around, sometimes accompanying them on their missions and observing the ordinary folk in the colonies when off-duty, but she's still afraid to use the guns connected to her forearms. For a while they were just two low-rank Tenno sharing the same barely functional Orbiter, bickering over which missions/bounties to take and arguing over the Tenno's values and their unquestioning loyalty to the Lotus. Still, they help each other earn enough to repair the ship and buy better equipment.

⦁ It's only until the events of the Second Dream happen (Kanami was entrusted with the mission and was personally targeted by the Stalker, but she called Tala and Sierra to assist), when they find out Tala's real identity and they fail to find Sierra's pod that Sierra begins to doubt her identity as a Tenno, but she hesitates to confide in Tala, not that she could find the time to tell her-- Tala's still shaken by the fact that the Lotus kept their real nature from them and struggled to take care of herself as a human after living as a warframe for so long that Sierra had to step in and take care of her, asking Kanami for help and even taking up cooking later on.

⦁ It took a long time for Tala to even transference into Sierra, because Tala always considered Sierra her own person even after she suspected she wasn't a Tenno, and wanted to respect her autonomy, especially knowing that Alad had controlled her against her will in the past. She transferenced for the first time with Sierra as a last resort after Kanami and Rouge tracked them down on Earth and the two of them working separately were no match for the vanguard-class warframe and operator working together. (Tala had gone AWOL earlier after losing all trust in the Lotus.)

⦁ Similarly, Sierra used her Regulators for the first time since she was awoken during the fight after Tala transferences into her, doing her best to deflect Rouge's incoming fire with her own to buy herself and Tala time, and Tala assisting with close quarters combat when Rouge runs out of energy and resorts to melee.

⦁ SIerra's memories only return to her in full when Rouge goes berserk from Kanami trying to stop her from killing both of them, having been kept under a tight leash for so long. Rouge's frenzy during the final confrontation with her reminded her of the crazed warframes she was forced to put down.

⦁ Even if Rouge pursued them relentlessly and nearly killed her and Tala in the past, Sierra couldn't bring herself to fully hate her; at some point, Rouge hesitated long enough for them to escape, and it reminded her of the fact that some of the warframes she had to kill weren't all beyond saving. (honestly the desertion arc and Kanami's complicated relationship with Rouge and their backstories is a whole other post xd)

⦁ While they were AWOL and roaming Earth on their own, they came across the spot that would be called the Drifter Camp later on.

⦁ Both of them returned to the fold when the New War broke out and proved themselves in Operation Scarlet Spear and Operation Orphix Venom, gaining a lot of combat experience in the process.

⦁ When Tala left to take the fight to Ballas and Erra directly and left her, Sierra damaged the Orbiter enough for Ordis to relent and prepare the backup landing craft, but Tala's void energy signature had already been gone by then. They're still making the Orbiter spaceworthy again to this day.

⦁ Sierra was much more ruthless when she was fighting on her lonesome against Narmer, not being able to afford being merciful, but also because she felt like she had lost everything she cared about. ⦁ Narmer never found Sierra despite her proving to be a thorn in their side for some time; Rouge had taught her in guerilla tactics and how to keep her tracks hidden, and she learned from Tala when they did covert operations together, but more importantly, Sierra wasn't a real Tenno and didn't have any void energy signature for Narmer forces to track.

⦁ Sierra was too injured to fight when Drifter Tala made the choice to go to Hunhow for help, but she followed after her anyway despite her weakened state, and she was given a new, stronger set of pistols after Drifter Tala was given the Nataruk.

⦁ When Operator Tala came back, Sierra took a moment to hug her, something she rarely does. ⦁ Sierra and Operator Tala act like rowdy siblings together living on their own, bullying each other, bickering about which missions to take, paying the bills, and repairing the orbiter from time to time, and Sierra appreciates that a lot because it makes her feel like nothing much has changed since she became a warframe. ⦁ Sierra isn't as close-knit with Tala's older self, but Sierra often takes her along on her trips on Earth while she tries to get Drifter Tala acclimated to the Origin System, knowing how it feels like to be in a world that's completely different than the one you know. That's all I can think of for now; if I let myself include more of the story this would be way, WAY longer...

#warframe oc #noir's warframe oc headcanons #mesa sierra #...:]#I went back and forth between wanting to describe Rouge and Kanami's dynamic and Tala and Sierra's dynamic #before I realized I could just talk about Sierra alone but I was unsure about some aspects of her at the time #i feel dum #I can't believe how long it took to answer this sob #anyways I hope you find some of these neat #but yeah I wanted to get this out of the way first before anything else. if you somehow still want to talk in DMs after this I don't mindxd

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fatalelity · 4 months

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oh yeah here's tav! addison (or as i like to say ... taddie. bc haha tadpole .... okay bye)

basic rundown ( spoilers for act i mainly ) :

she was born to a dynasty of surgeons, doctors, spellcasters etc in baldur's gate

she's a medical doctor — trained surgeon to be precise, but god she is not a cleric and will go on a 'not all doctors are clerics fuck you' rant

a lover of wine, literature, and just having a good time mostly

she's a pacifist at heart so you can imagine how she feels with what happened to the goblins (yes, my party's on permanent knock ppl out mode)

oh on that note, she became an accidental necromancer... hahaha

being a variation of tav, she's special in the way that she has an innate ability to turn back time (never forward) — if you're familiar at all with "reset theories" this is what i'm going for. for those who don't know, the tldr is that she will remember every event that happens even if she goes to another spot in time (aka reloading a save state). she can't will it to happen. it triggers upon intense emotional responses. it's only been triggered twice in game. it'll take a toll on her and she won't be able to rest for at least two nights

so, that being said she is a sorcerer!

her main party at the moment are with shadowheart, karlach, and gale

she's definitely polyamorous. she has intense feelings for both shadowheart and gale, which is one of the points in the timeline that fucks her up the most

she really does like karlach, but probably wouldn't try to pursue a romance or whatever with her. they vibe. they get angry together. it's fun /*shrugs*

ACT ONE.

she accidentally got lae'zel killed by the tieflings who held her captive — she thought they'd leave the other in her hands but alas. they went into battle, rolled initiative and she wasn't fast enough to stop people... she still feels horrible about it

she's spurred events that lead to the druids attacking the tieflings twice — those were her two resets. she still feels guilty about it, even though the current timeline they are fine... mostly

needless to say, she did not side with the goblins. whilst she actively tried not to kill them, it's hard not to when you use magic and your self preservation instincts kick in

she didn't actually kill minthara, knocked her out real good and hoped she lived

she consumed a tadpole once and that was that

got beef with astarion, tbh they probably would've had hate sex or something idk man. it's a weird relationship she's either being really nice to him or roasting him alive

actively trying to get shadowheart the fuck outta sharran but like, won't judge her for her faith bc it's all she's got since her memories are literally taken away

she's learned to lie real well since travelling with the cohort

scratch, owlbear, arabella, plus mol's gang are her kids. do not fuck with them. i'm serious. she almost killed kagha during the first reset because of it.

unfortunately due to her being single minded of wanting to get the gang to baldurs gate and find answers, unless she sees your suffering, gets lost herself, and/or its something related to her personally she will not engage in the side quests

that being said, they did spend some time in the underdark but very briefly because they got lost and ended back in the camp

so instead, she opts to go through the mountain pass but again got lost and ran into ethel

she accidentally uses necromancy to make mayrina's husband er ... undead. needless to say she feels like a sack of shit for doing that and wants to undo it but this is ultimately mayrinas choice so she let's them be

since on the topic of necromancy, she does still have that cursed necromancy of thay book in possession. no idea what to do with it but yknow, it's not an active problem

in the mountain pass she will not make a detour to the creche, she will go straight to the shadow cursed lands

ACT TWO.

shes actively trying to not have gale go blow himself up... desperately.

there's some strain between her and the others minus karlach, her mvp ... the fires of avernus can sure be comforting in moments that feel so cold to her

I will say this : the decisions she makes here are NOT good. at this point she's mostly focused on keeping everyone alive and kinda forgot about the fact that halsin is Here to lift the curse

she follows kar'niss, does the whole cutscene at moonrise tower and reluctantly agrees to help balthazaar

she goes into his room and er, let's just say her party (NOT HER) took more than just the moonlantern

she will get lost because she's a rich girl from baldurs gate who never learned how to USE a compass ... anyways, let's say she does not go to the mausoleum first and ends up trekking backwards ....

before reaching last light inn, she meets the boy Oliver and plays only one round of hide n seek with him because she has a mission and that triggered the scene where she had to fight his family and pissed him off so royally that it locked her outta lifting the curse. oops. she doesn't know that though ...

when she finds dammon she will actually make the detour to find karlach her metal. she adores karlach. she wants her to live. she wants to give her a real hug.

during said metal excursion er .... let's say she finds her way into the house of healing and she found arabella's parents before arabella herself... the house of healing was where she did her first act of mercy killings outta the many

arabella obviously will stay in camp and tbh, she has this gnawing feeling so she looks around to see if there are any other surviving tieflings (there were not, she was distraught and during long rests the more restless companions can hear her cry in the corner)

i know she said no detours but she saw a night orchid by the cliff and HAD TO get it for shadowheart because God she would kill for some joy — shadowhearts little reaction / joke made her smile for the first time very sincerely

anyways, she finally finds their way into the mausoleum and ahahaha .... hahaha ....

the gauntlet of shar was probably one of the most painful things to witness shadowheart go through. she did not like it and in fact at some point she takes over and sacrifices her own blood

she ignores raphaels entire request lmao

uhm, I'd say what she did with balthazaar was er ... some misty steps, and she pushed him off a cliff out of self preservation

taps into shadowhearts goodness and let her lean into her own intuition which resulted in aylin being spared

after shadowhearts been exiled, she will literally do whatever means to comfort her oh dear God

jaheira does die in moonrise tower ... she feels like shit about it (lol what's new)

anyways, the big boss battle happens and they make their road to baldurs gate

ACT THREE.

say no to evolution god please. she hates the emperor and will do things to piss him off such as steal from the house of hope

she completes companion events in this order (as of now): shadowheart, astarion, karlach, wyll, gale

she didn't actively encourage shadowheart to kill her parents but shadowheart did; she DID actively encourage astarion to not ascend and free the spawns ... oops. monster hunters hate her so much rn

she's deeply tormented by orin. like i mean deeply. she's in despair. she wants it to stop so bad.

obviously she chooses aylin and isobel over some wizard in a tower

she wants to fist fight shar and mystra. so bad. she may be a healer but *cocks gun*

i will add more to this and then write a cohesive page as the game progresses here lol

#* 𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 : ooc #LISTEN THE BRAINROT IS SO REAL IM DEBATING WRITING [REDACTED] [ REDACTED ] AKA SHADOWHEART #the way how she's inspired by my dnd sorcerrer whos inspired by me rping addison its so wild the inspo cycle

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stinkbrat · 2 years

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This is too long winded to truly get into tbh but like I feel like.. a lot of my life I get stuck in this rotten little area where I figure something out (like being trans or autistic) just before the crux of the "so many people are this now, it's such a trend, it's detracting from ppl that are actually suffering" and every time it happens I feel like i personally am the problem and that i must be wrong and it holds me back from exploring or addressing things because im "probably faking it because im sure i would KNOW"

Like it just leaves me feeling like I have to either suppress what I now have access to and "bottle it up" or just know fully I won't be taken seriously, even in safe spaces, when i talk about it.

Specifically too though like... I am diagnosed with autism right I have my letter and accommodations (not that they get met) but like. Diagnosed! And yet the resistance of ppl treating it like it's trendy (it's not) and insisting that not this many ppl can have it (they can) instead of realizing it just means more ppl have been suffering from it and deserve the space to exist within it?? Idk my ass ends up seeing the angry ppl posting that ppl have to stop "treating it like its cute" and I get so flustered because I'm like "ur right I should have never sought out my psychiatrist and tricked her into diagnosing me with something that only other people suffer from because it sounded fun" when I'm one of the lucky few to actually get tested and diagnosed!!!! And if I'm still capable of performing mental gymnastics to villanize myself, then I know that younger ppl are going through it much worse and its gonna set them back 1000 years in their coping and recovering process.. Idk its not my responsibility but the conversation is extremely difficult between "I've suffered my whole life from this and always had the word to throw my hate and anger at so when you say you have it but don't seem pissed off or ruined the way i feel, I get upset therefore you all have to stop acting like it's a trend" and "I've suffered my whole life from this and since I wasn't diagnosed I didn't have a word to throw the hatred at so I just directed it internally at me being stupid and broken so I'm celebrating this thing that has largely made my life impossible and that probably seems pretty offensive to the ppl that had the opportunity to know what it was the whole time" without it sounding like you're patronizing the other group of people under your umbrella or acting like the other group is wrong or privileged (when neither are neither)

Idk It applies to so many parts of my life (ur not REALLY trans if your not trying to "pass" or have bad enough dysphoria) and I'm so so tired of seeing both sides without anyone bothering to represent the middle: some of the things are going to get cutesyfied due to the pervasive nature of social media and pop culture but taking it out on people that are fresh into discovering, exploring, growing, and/or learning about themselves and saying they haven't suffered enough to be able to talk about it openly is not the answer CHIEFS...

Tldr that one meme with the mirror about calling ppl ugly when it only affects the ppl around you, not the people that are going to do wrong no matter what you say. Ultimately There's no right or wrong way to suffer or to cope and you're always going to alienate someone when you try to talk openly about it but talking openly about it is all there is to do so....I guess we will just die

#5hats so many words ive just been #processing #i have unfortunately not been able to attend therapy anymore so i have to do this all on my own now

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cj-the-random-artist · 6 months

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🌗 & ⭐️ for the ask game?

Opinions on the Watcher lore

Honestly, I don't have a super strong opinion about the Watcher lore for the most part?? Like I watched Evo (not until after it was long finished as a series lol) and I've also watched most of Martyn's POV of the life series, so I have a concept of what the Watchers are, and I think it's interesting. I think Secret Life makes it feel a lot more "canon", so to speak, just because the Watchers were basically the viewers, and viewers have the option to send in tasks and such in Secret Life and I think that's really interesting and cool. Not that it wasn't canon already, at least in Martyn's POV. Again, I don't have particularly strong opinions, but I think the Watcher lore is quite interesting. Notably, I'm not super caught up on fanon interpretations of the Watchers (and I'm not the most caught up on the canon stuff either tbh, despite watching Evo and Martyn's Life Series) so I'm just kind of like "oh that's cool" mostly in passing lol.

(TLDR I think the Watcher lore is fascinating but I don't have really strong opinions on it)

Do you think of the Life Series as separate from HC / Empires, or connected?

I lean towards connected, but in a largely they-just-happen-to-exist-in-the-same-universe-but-they-aren't-hugely-"plot-important"-emphasis-on-the-air-quotes-around-plot-important, if that makes sense. Like, occasionally they're all taken from their home servers and have to spend a few weeks in a death game and then they chill for a bit and relax and vibe and then go home or something lol. I kind of feel like Witchcraft SMP is related to why I think that...? Not that I had only started thinking that since Witchcraft, because this was kind of my line of thinking when 3rd Life started, but I think Witchcraft kind of... confirmed it for me, personally?? Because Witchcraft is confirmed related to Empires because of Shubble's finale, and Cleo in Witchcraft kind of confirmed the existence of the Life Series in Witchcraft because of their Witchcraft finale, but also because of the Hermitcraft / Empires crossover Hermitcraft is confirmed to Empires (and well also Gem), which means by some stretch Life Series is (theoretically) canon to both Hermitcraft and Empires. But ALSO- Scott in Empires during the Hermitcraft / Empires crossover couldn't remember who Impulse was which suggests that he doesn't remember the Life Series but Impulse does so maybe the players all remember different degrees of what happens or something.

That was a huge paragraph but suffice to say yes, I think HC / Empires exist in the same universe as the Life Series, I've kind of always thought that but for some reason Witchcraft SMP and the Hermit / Empires crossover kind of "confirmed" it in my brain in a very "conspiracy board meme guy" way

(TLDR I do think the Life Series and HC / Empires are all in the same universe)

Those were long answers, enjoy those TLDRs if you didn't read my long rambles lmfao :D

#cj the random artist says words #ask game #trafficblr #i know these are unreasonably long but for anyone who wants to read those long af paragraphs. enjoy :D

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magioftheseas · 2 years

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What is your theory as to how Hanako changed the future ? Everyone say it's because of the Nene wish tag time-travel , but I can't help but wonder if there isn't more to this. Amane's original future was being a teacher in that school, but he wouldn't have lived that long had Tsukasa not made a deal with the Red House thing, and yet his future in his book accounted to that. Nene and Kou interacting with child Tsukasa also count as time travel, yet Tsuchigomori doesn't mention Tsukasa's book.

Tsuchigomori could've just lied, lol.

In all seriousness, I'm not really sure. The whole "future book" thing hasn't made a lot of sense for a while now. Like, Nene is supposed to go on a date with a guy who tells her "I can't date radish legs" or smth within the next year and everyone's just completely forgotten about that. Like what the book accounts for EXACTLY has never been made clear, just that Amane SOMEHOW averted it.

Tbh, realistically I'm not going to expect an answer that's consistent and sensible. It just wasn't a very well-implemented element to begin with. Hell, I made a post about it way earlier, buuuut...

Nene's book records that she graduated which, going by Hanako's timeline...

...isn't possible, since she's still in her second year. Did she graduate months early or what? I don't even understand timelines at the best of times. :V

So, it's really up in the air how things are gonna go. The simplest and most logical explanation is that Tsuchigomori lied for whatever reason, but there are a lot of gaps that make any theories feel inherently like leaps. AidaIro could always just throw in a curve ball with little if any decent setup (hello Red House), so it's. Eh.

tldr: no clue, anon. I'm earnestly expecting a plot hole.

#Magi answers #anonymous #jshk spoilers #meta #I guess #critical #mild but whatever

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killingbill · 2 years

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It's gonna be a double ask since I don't wanna spam your inbox, soooo from the weirder asks: 23, 26 and 43

Aaaaaand your top 5 Schneider looks 👀 (I'll be looking respectfully)

of course! although please feel free to spam, send as much as you want. i honestly?? want questions so, honestly i'm open to anything. i really appreciate anyone who stops by my inbox.

23. how do you feel about chilly weather?

um, in all honesty as a canadian the answer should be something positive - but i'm 100% sick of it, & i mean.. i get the stereotype where canadians have adapted to cold. i basically go out in winter wearing slides & sandals and ... tbh this last winter i basically got by with sweaters. i also never wear hats or gloves. as a smoker particularly it's fucking gnarly, but you bet your sweet ass you'll see me on my front stoop sucking down a ciggy in 15 below 0 in flip flops & a hoodie, where i've carved out a place to stand in the snow.

26. a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

when i was a kid my best friend (who is still my best friend to this day) was dating some girl from his high school named jenna. jenna didn't like me very much because, surprise surprise, i'm a girl and he's a boy & that must mean we're secretly fucking or something. meanwhile both of us are still grappling with the old sexuality, & uh, at the time he would be getting in fights with her for even being around me. he told her he wasn't going to stop hanging out with me, & idk they lasted a bit longer. though, it's funny that we're both in same sex partnerships right now. but LOL TLDR!!! I used to fantasize about telling her off, like every night. i wanted to beat her ass. also, meeting Schneider.

43. what’s your take on spicy foods?

so good, oh my god. my favourite? jalapenos and uh, sriracha are my favourites - but i eat jalapenos on basically anything, and i'll just keep adding spicy shit to anything. at this point i have a pretty strong palate, lmfao.

okay SO AS FOR THE SCHNEIDER ASK!! i did this response already, which is pretty much the same - so, here's that for reference. I'll go over my #1 again, and some honourable mentions i couldn't choose but am still thinking about!

Zick Zack Schneider. 100% not changing my answer, yet. the little cutout, with access to his stomach? so good. His fucking confidence was on fire, somehow? and it made him look femme so i was so into it. 10/10

HONOURABLE MENTIONS:

Amerika (shirtless and/or tank top w. the little black tie around his neck) boy, you can't flaunt that belly around me and get away with it. also, the little -- ascot thing he was wearing makes me feral, especially when he takes his shirt off?? fuck ME up.

The couch interview in the Amerika documentary. His floofy hair, his smile was so cute that day. he looks very good in long sleeves, and we don't see it often. He just made me super happy, there.

Angst (i'll call it the bane mask) idk man it's still doing stuff to my lady parts whenever i think about it, and i have zero ability to explain.

Radio! Mmm fuck, i mean - literally whenever he's in a suit. But he looked very classic, and he cleans up so well.

The scene in deutschland where the boys are wearing drag, but chris is wearing that suit + sunglasses combo.

DRSG 95. don’t talk to me. The collarbone. The chest. The baby.

#; answered

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thisselflovecamebacktome · 7 months

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Update time:

As per usual I'll put the tldr before the cut and longer rant surrounding my feelings under.

I'm going to have very limited internet from October 13th to 27th, like to the point of probably only having internet for 2 of those days maximum (likely the 16th and 25th but we'll see). With that in mind, please feel free to continue to send messages but just note that I may not answer until the 27th.

There's a good chance that I am going to start blogging again around November 4th.

If I do come back, it won't be as actively as before (but more than now) and there's a good chance that I will veer towards being more of a multifandom blog than mostly a Taylor one.

Okay so longer thoughts around this all... So when I took my break, I wasn't sure how long I planned it to be or even if I could do it at all. Like I had been wanting to for so long that I expected to fall back into old habits within a week. So the fact that I have made it this far, and like with ease, has been incredible. But the truth is that this break had three major goals and I feel like only one of them has been even somewhat fulfilled.

Firstly, and the one that has been somewhat fulfilled, was proving to myself that I could use my time doing something else. And I say somewhat fulfilled because like realistically I'm still online more than I would've liked, just on like Duolingo or whatever relearning Japanese. And don't get me wrong, I still feel like that's better than being on social media for 15 hours a day and it has somewhat helped me manage my time better. Likewise, I do have a ton of offline activities coming up, but they're all temporary holidays. And it may sound weird to remedy that with coming back online but that leads into goal two.

The second goal was to feel more connected to people. Realistically, I still feel the same (very positively) about my offline friends and just feel more disconnected to the community I had here. And now that I think I can balance my time better with social media, I'm willing to try find a better balance for that.

And then there's the elephant in the room, which is tied with the third goal. The third goal was to get away from the noise because honestly? I've had very mixed, but more rapidly negative growing emotions about being in the Taylor Swift fandom since Midnights' release but especially this year, like more so than ever (which, those of you who have been around since 2015 know, is saying something). I had hoped that time away would somewhat subdue the negativity, especially because my expectations for Taylor have been far lower since 2019 than they were previously and I found my way back to her then. But honestly? It only reinforced it. I'm not saying that I hate Taylor or her fandom now. Like I will still go to eras in February and I love you guys, but I can't pretend like May didn't happen or that it didn't have real world/offline effects to people who I love including violence from others and self harm. And more so, I can't pretend like it doesn't make me resentful that despite god knows how many posts and tiktoks and whatever from Taylor Swift fans saying that they've also faced offline harm, people are still acting like this was just a chronically online issue that was 'overreacted' on. And like honestly? This year, and the acceptance that this stuff likely isn't going to change, was the straw that broke the camel's back with that stuff, not the whole issue.

Like my whole view of being a fan has changed; everything from engaging in her music purchasing her music (Speak Now TV was the first time I hadn't preordered it and only own it now because I was gifted it, the same will go for 1989 TV and tbh have barely listened to her music lately), to other media where I'm not as motivated or scared of FOMO as to feel the need to see everything straight away or get more eras tickets (I'm likely going to cancel the accommodation I had for the city I was going to get resale tickets for) and I no longer feel comfortable reblogging any photos that Taylor hasn't taken/approved herself. And that's led to a place where ultimately I feel like I am here more for the community than even being a fan if that makes sense. Like again, I love you all and I don't hate Taylor, it's just more than she's now at the level of just say The Weeknd for me where I appreciate the musicality more than stanning her as a person as opposed to it being both like before. And I've had a lot of fear around that, particularly earlier in the year because I may not be able to have the community without being as involved with the factor tying us all together, but I'm in a far better headspace now where I can trust that that won't be the case but also be fine if it is.

Anyway that was a rant and a half, but the point is that if and when I come back, which may or may not be sooner than I thought, I'll be looking at following more non-Taylor blogs. I still haven't made a choice on level of personal posts though, but I do think it's going to be more of a balance of positive moments in my life and leaving most of my negative ones for myself because while I'd like to think that I've been an honest influence by showing my struggles, a large part of my conflicting feelings about being online is just how identifiable I've been through posting those struggles, especially in a country where any onus of defamation is on the person making the statements. It's honestly a big reason why 99% of my biggest struggles from last year weren't posted, because unfortunately, with how uncommon some of my issues have been, posting them plus the selfies I have over the years (and tbh even without the selfies) has led to feeling like I have a target on my back and I just can't do that anymore. So yeah, this is another rant but while it's not set in stone, if I post anything about my life, it will be more manufactured and 'best of' rather than the whole picture... ironically given I feel like tumblr has often been my diary/venting space for the worst moments lmao.

But anyway, I've ranted enough and it's after midnight here now, so that's where things stand atm.

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usertiff · 9 months

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i thought you said once you were jewish but you talk only about being indigenous and white?

sorry for the delay in answering this i had to mull over how strange it was at first to have someone like analyzing my ethnicity or remembering aspects LOL but im going to assume possibly you're someone struggling with your own identity or smth??? and answer

but tbh if you're looking for help with rediscovering being jewish, i am not the one to ask and the reason for that will be clear below. if you need help reconnecting to indigeneity however, that's a different story.

long story, bc i weirdly am giving u way too much background info for an anon LMAO but a tldr is included

to begin, my ethnicity is as follows: norwegian, german, chatiks si chatiks, niitsitapi, and well, ashkenazi jewish

so, yes, i'm ethnically ashkenazi jewish on my maternal grandma's side (indigenous on my maternal grandmother's side as well, my great grandma was jewish, my great grandpa indigenous). however, i was not raised with the knowledge of it. i did some digging, talking to my my grandpa, my mom and my aunt's (who knew all along but are gen x'ers and a boomer, and just... didn't really care at all except my mom and one aunt who also felt kind of sad about it), and they all said the same thing: my great-grandma chose to whitewash us (and therefore didn't even tell her kids, including my grandma, until later in life) because her mother and father did as well, for mostly safety reasons, but also fitting in reasons, because where i live was where most germans settled. (like for example, my paternal ancestry is literally just norwegian and german. my dad is half norwegian and german lmao, my paternal grandma immigrated from norway, and my paternal grandfather's was like a 2nd-gen immigrant or smth, they came over quite awhile after my cousins side of the family came over a loooong time ago idfk it's stupid i dont really care about all that.) and it might be silly to some but it was important to my grandparents i guess, especially because one of my grandpa's was a general(??? something???) in ww2.

TLDR anyway, long story short, my grandparents hid who we are, didn't raise their kids as jewish neither in religion nor even by telling them their ethnicity til they were older. SO i don't feel comfortable claiming my jewish ethnicity? like... idk it is weird because since finding out i am jewish, i feel this weird sense of heartbreak that 1. i partially don't know who i am, 2. that my grandparents were so desperate to fit in they literally hid a major part of themselves, 3. i lost out on a lot of culture because they simply chose to omit this part of our lives, idk i could go on???

so while part of me wants to try and reconnect what it means to be jewish, there's another part of me that feels uncomfortable doing so, as if ... idk... like i'm not allowed? it's a much different feeling than being indigenous and reconnecting, especially because i grew up knowing i'm indigenous and already having bits and pieces of that culture.

unnecessary information of me rambling on below

and as for my indigeneity, there wasn't really any hiding the color of my great-grandpa's skin. even as our genes have been passed down through my family, while some of us (me, a few cousins) ended up white as hell (for me it's thanks to my snow-white scandinavian/germanic father) others, such as my sister, have my grandpa's complexion, his eyes, his hair. it's beautiful. it sounds privileged as hell to say this, because i understand i have white privilege to the max, but i am a lil jealous of my sister. she's just so beautiful in my eyes, and really represents the ancestry in my family. it's lovely to me.

anyway, congrats, u have way more info than u needed

#answered #about #stop talking tiff *#this feels weird to actually EXPLAIN publicly but ??? here i am

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ragnarlothcat · 2 years

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1/? So I have this idea (& it’s kind of sad tbh!!) that anakin growing up in the temple didn’t have a lot (or any) friends. & even as a knight the same can be said- like he has a small group of people that he loves unconditionally & is fiercely loyal to but he isn’t mr.popular. But anyway! My idea is that it takes a while for Obi wan to realise this. Obi wan is definitely aware that the first few years for anakin in the temple are difficult. Because of his upbringing he’s wary of strangers, he’s

2/? quick to anger & super defensive & prickly since he’s coming in late & therefore behind his peers & feels like he has to prove himself but I feel as if Obi wan thinks this situation will rectify itself as time goes by & anakin no longer feels as if he’s going to be kicked out of the temple for not progressing fast enough etc. But in my mind, because anakin doesn’t interact with his peers & isolates himself from them from the beginning &continues to do that as time goes on, they just come to

3/? accept that he’s a loner. & I don’t mean it’s malicious or he’s bullied but I definitely see a situation where he gets along with people his age but isn’t necessarily friends with any of them. Obi wan only starts to become suspicious when anakin is in his late teens maybe because this was the time that as a padawan Obi wan used to be trying to sneak out to the lower levels to go drinking or making out in the room of a thousand fountains & anakin just doesn’t seem to be doing that?? For a

4/while Obi wan thinks anakin is just incredibly good at sneaking out (but Obi wan has seen anakin on undercover missions & the boy doesn’t understand the word subtle so he’s definitely confused how he’s never once caught anakin stumbling back to their apartment drunk). So yeah. By all means, anakin SHOULD be popular. He’s tall, good looking & is like the Jedi version of a jock when it comes to athleticism, but he spends all his free time hanging out with Obi wan or at the temple’s hangar,

5/ tinkering with droids or bothering plo koon with questions about djem so (shout out to plo koon! I love him and I feel like he’s one of the few masters who is patient and kind enough to see past anakin’s mercurial nature to the kind hearted boy beneath!) tldr: anakin was and continues to be the super intense loner kid ✌️ps I hope you don’t mind these long head canon asks. You seem to get a lot of them & I genuinely love reading your answers/thoughts about these characters. I appreciate you!

Oh this is a bit sad! The worst thing is I think you might be right. I've mentioned before I haven't read any of the Star Wars books but from what I've been able to glean from fanfiction and other people's tumblr posts, Anakin didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I imagine a lot of factors would have contributed to that, but it sounds very lonely.

And I agree, Anakin has lots of things going for him. He's very passionate and capable of great kindness. I often write him as friends with Aayla but I don't really know what I'm basing that on other than my desire for Anakin to know more than three people.

I appreciate the Plo Koon shout out, always, he is absolutely one of my favourite characters. I think Anakin ends up with a decent relationship with a lot of the other Jedi (until he very abruptly does not)? He, Obi-Wan and Luminara work together and that seems pretty fun. I assume everyone likes Kit Fisto. But maybe that only happened once Anakin was knighted? I can definitely see Anakin's padawan years being a bit isolated. Especially since Obi-Wan wasn't his friend yet, he was still his master, and that's a different dynamic.

Anyway I love when you send me these head canons, they're so interesting to read! I do have one fic on the go that is a deep dive into Anakin's character and some of his struggles which makes this especially valuable to think about. So thank you so much, this is a delight 🥰

#asks #anon #anakin skywalker #i had this tagged as obikin for a second but we didn't quite get there!#also i think with a nudge anakin and mace could have gotten along great #i have a soft spot for their relationship

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isa-ghost · 3 years

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How do you hold onto hope that anything will be done with Anti or any of Sean's Egos? I fell out of love for JSE and his content about three years ago due to.. I guess just growing up? But I used to check back in from time to time because he used to promise that "Big Thing's" we're coming for his Egos. (Mind you this was before the pandemic took full effect so there wasn't that as an excuse.) I just recently checked his channel and saw he has taken a step back (Good for him and his mental health if he needs that!) from making content. Did he burn out? Is he ever going to do anything with the Ego's? I don't even know why I care at this point? I guess I just want logical answers and you are the smartest JSE fan I know? Anywho. Sorry for the rant. I'll get out of your asks. 🌶

Oookay unpacking this ask time.

Anon thanks in advance for sending this because as feisty as I felt at first, it helped me get out a lot of things I've wanted to say in this regard for a Long Long Time so, yeah. Thank you.

1. Personally I don't like the term "grew up" in reference to CCs or much of anything tbh, because you're rarely too old to enjoy the things you love. But I get what you mean regardless. Just wanted to plop out my take on that topic in general. Never think you're too old to enjoy something harmless though. :)

2. I've been shaky on hope lately, to be honest. He's not been doing a ton of videos in general lately, minus some strays and the Deltarune Chapter 2 series (I genuinely didnt expect him to play it bc he hadnt played another recently released big game I wanted to see him play but he did, and I'm super grateful bc it was killing me lowkey). Which obviously the decision not to make a ton of content at the moment is okay. He's very burnt out, he's been having severe health issues both physically and on/off mentally. The lack of content and low energy he's had lately is just disheartening if that's the right word idk. BUT!! We DO have a MASSIVE Thankmas stream coming in December to look forward to!

I miss him and some days I get kinda,, idk, bitter? About the radio silence. But unlike a lot of people that have been in and out of the JSE Community between 2018 to now, I respect his health and the fact that he's a whole ass human being and has a life and other things he is more than free to do instead whenever the fuck he wants. TLDR I think have better critical thinking skills than some people on here and Twitter lmao. And the last few years have been shit, both in the world and- at least on here -in the community (dare I mention the t*ablogs). Though lately the community is quiet and very very peaceful and enjoyable again. At least in my corner here.

The thing is, I'm not and was never here ONLY for egos. I love Sean and everything about him to bits. He made one of the worst few years I had in the 2010s infinitely more bearable and gave me an explosive amount of inspiration for creativity that I'd not really experienced before. And friends I'll never let go of.

I miss ego content. I want it to keep going. I'm extremely sad it might not continue. But as an artist, I know why he was promising big things once upon a time. When you're a creator and you have a story like this, you want to flesh it out. The motivation and muse is high. People are excited and you want to deliver. The difference with Sean is that he wanted it to be as high in quality as he could push for after all our excitement and incessant thirst for more. And his plans involved a budget and more than just himself and none of it was his main focus. It was a fun side project.

HOWEVER, big projects like this get interrupted by life, smaller projects, distractions and other things. Sean got SLAMMED by all of the above non-stop these last few years and then hit a bad burnout. I think that through it all, he hit that dreaded wall some artists with big, long term plans like the egos story hit and lost motivation. It got overhyped. Pressure got too crushing. Any plans he made to FINALLY continue the ego storyline got murdered by Covid more than once (which.. personally the term "excuse" sounds kinda shitty in reference to that imo but I digress). Making promises only to have outside variables beyond his control break them was killing him, so he just stopped promising. And people who have no respect or patience got annoying and some got straight up inexcusably vulgar, immature and hateful before dramatically fleeing the community in a tantrum like he'd personally come to their house and betrayed them. It was infuriating to watch go down.

But no matter how much it might hurt or be disappointing to see it die out, I'm here for Sean and his journey no matter where it takes him. I'm not sitting here being a stubborn beacon of anything. And I also recognize and (no matter how reluctantly) respect that we aren't OWED ego content. Never were. It was not an obligation no matter how many promises he made or how much hype he stirred up. And to be fair? We drove the hype a million miles further than he EVER did and we can't blame him for that. I hate the people who do. I'm grateful for the ego content we got and I'll cry if we ever get more. But if it's done, it's done and we just have to accept it. I, as sad as I am to, accept it. And we can always make our own.

And finally- thanks for the compliment. Idk if I'd say I'm the SMARTEST but that means a lot either way. :')

I hope this gave some answers even though it came out more of a vent/rant and PSA??

Obviously any JSE followers and mutuals please feel free to reblog this. But don't start any fights, not that I really expect there to be any?

#jacksepticeye #jse community #jse egos

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tsukidrama · 2 years

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Hey I was wondering what Annie and the reader relationship was like pre post dating along with how and who confesses first?

oh, do you mean like, in the beginning? tiny baby 13 year old Annie and reader when they met in the training corps?

from the start, there was a little bit of a crush (both ways, but i don't think that Annie recognized it as such since she pushes her feelings down so much). reader eventually breaks through by sitting next to her at meals and giving Annie her dessert.

once Annie accepts her friendship, it's actually probably her who seeks out more contact. she would NOT consciously act on her feelings, though. the entire process of friendship and then later on feelings and eventually love, is super riddled with denial for her. it's so ingrained into her that everybody she meets on the island is an evil subhuman that whenever the relationship progresses, she starts to panic. she wonders if having those feelings makes her "one of the bad ones" so she tries to pull away at every step.

as for a basic timeline. their friendship started in the first couple of months they met, mostly because reader just chose Annie to sit with because she's quiet (also because she's very very pretty). romantic feelings wouldn't come along until later. age 14/15 maybe is when they'd start sneaking around to meet and kiss & everything else they do.

reader is definitely the one to make all the moves. Annie shows clear signs of being interested ie: staring, blushing, touching legs, looking down at her lips. she'll even like, lean in, but she's too scared and ashamed to initiate anything for a while. tbh like the entire point up until she goes into the crystal.

part of why please be my alibi hurts my heart is because from reader's perspective Annie has finally gotten over that, and to her, that interaction feels like a sign that she really does return the feelings. and after she finds out that it was a way to keep her quiet about what she'd seen, reader spirals and wonders if the entire relationship was just Annie manipulating her.

it wasn't, but Annie cannot respond and tell her that because she's in the crystal 🥲🤧 it's true that she used the fuck out of reader to hide after she killed the two titans, but she really did care about her. ldliblkerfjen i can't say much more without spoiling fic that hasn't been posted yet but i hope i answered your question!

feel free to follow up if there's something you want me to elaborate on or if i didn't answer your question all the way

tldr; at first Annie is cold and tries to push reader away, but then as her feelings la Gabi "there are no demons here" come along over time and she makes friends, she starts to cave in and falls hard. she just doesn't say anything because she doesn't see their relationship as a real option since she knows she's going to go back to her dad someday. she just doesn't want reader to die.

trnt is fun because it's everything that they never thought they'd get to have together. IT HURTS SOOOO GOOD.

#at this point in my life i like . don't even really remember what it's like to feel like that alksdlskj #i dont rmr what its like to be afraid of making a move i guess?? sorry i know u were probably expecting a drabble #i just actually don't think i could write this right now. if i had a crush i would simply tell her and like idk flirt and shit. I DON TKNOW #i've also never been rejected before and the constant 'no's Annie would give to any affection would. BREAK ME. it happened in their canon #I JUST CANT WRITE FIC BOUT IT BECAUSE IT MAKES ME SAD #tsuki answers #cottagecanon #trnt annie #annie-isms

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kalopsiadaemon · 2 years

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Hi tumblr, been a while!

I rarely post here now compared to how much I used to and I'm sorry about that.

So I've decided to make a post to let you guys know, who are still following, what I'm up to right now!

Work update:

For the last year I have been working full time as a freelance animator working on a new League of Legends game! Pretty cool right? I haven't been able to share any of the work I've been doing due to NDAs but as soon as I have the go ahead to share things I will! I'd love to show you all the cool stuff I've been doing!

However after today I will be done with that contract and back to being self employed again. So for anyone who may have been wanting to request a commission during my long break from them, you should have a chance to soon! I will be taking a short week break from any work though before I do to take some time off but I'll update here when they're open. And to those I've already been in contact with about commissions, I'll reply via email with an update!

Also because I was working full time this year I haven't had much time off to work on any personal art, fanart and projects so that's why posting on my socials have been super spotty! So I'm hoping to start posting more again soon.

Health update:

To those that don't know I'll give a short TLDR; basically I have had chronic knee pain since I was 13, so 10/11 years ago, and in 2020 it got drastically worse to the point where it effects my daily life and I am in constant 24 hour pain. I'm have been in the long process of having my knee examined and have seen many different specialists with no real answer. But I may finally have an answer now that makes sense and am on a waiting list for an MRI to verify it! It's taken a very long time to get to this point but having a solid answer as to why I have daily chronic pain, and then possible avenues to start getting better is a huge relief.

Once the diagnosis has been verified I will update you all on what the result is and what further treatment I may need, including possibly surgery.

But for now, thank you to those that have sent me words of encouragement on this over the years, it really means a lot!

Other health issues I have, including my fatigue issue, have been put on the backburner this year due to my knee being more serious of a concern, but tbh it has been a lot better! And it may actually be directly linked to stress from my chronic pain. But we'll see when it comes to getting treatment, how much that'll improve.

General life update:

On a more happier note, for those that don't follow my twitter where I update most often, I actually moved out this year in May and have been living in my first apartment!

It has been such a huge change that was much needed and I truly have been thriving here. And I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for everyone who has supported my creative endeavours over the years so honestly, thank you guys so much <3

Also I have been on a bit of a witchy/spiritual journey this year too and have thrown myself into tarot! Which has very eye opening for me and a really cool experience. And I may have some fun creative projects in mind...such as making my own tarot deck...so stay tuned for that if that's up your alley

So after that huge update, if any of you guys would like to ask me anything or just say hi, please feel free to send me an ask! I would love to connect with you all again. I've really missed it here~

Also if you'd like to support me on other platforms, I am most active on twitter @kalopsiadaemon! And occasionally post to insta. But from now I'm hoping to be more active over here and on my other platforms!

Thank you all again for still continuing to support my art over here despite my practically year long absence. It really truly means the world to me. I hope you all are doing well <3

#jo talks #update #life update

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