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astrodances · 4 months

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"Now I've had the time of my life No, I never felt like this before Yes, I swear it's the truth And I owe it all to you"

This is a very, very special drawing for me. ✨

In September of last year, I watched Dancing With The Stars' "Step Into the Movies" special again, at the end of which they recreate "The Time of My Life" scene from Dirty Dancing. And that sent me on a nostalgia trip back to my high school theater days over a decade ago now, where the drama club accepted my idea to do a "Time of Our Lives" theme, and a performance for that song à la Glee. Mind you, I was mainly the stage manager/techie sort, but I did some scenes for the showcases, and participated in this song with my then-boyfriend, along with two other couples.

And while we were hanging out in the green room backstage, a friend took some pictures of us. Including the one that directly inspired this drawing of Webby + Lena.

This started out as a memory remix of that photo, after watching the DWTS special, because I thought these two lovebirds would be really cute subjects for it.

But once I got going, it turned into a love letter, for many things.

As part of the remix aspect of it, I now picture myself in Lena's spot in the photo, getting to have the short hair I wish I had had back then, and getting to wear a suit and tie! (Yes, in the original photo, I am wearing the dress and red bow Webby's sporting here, and I have long hair. 🙈 Though I will say here that the little heart necklace she's wearing is exactly like the one I had, too! :)) Drawing this was really cathartic for my nonbinary self. 💜

And as for Webby, in this remix, she represents someone that, in retrospect, I wish I had shared this moment with from back then. In many ways, she really was the Webby to my Lena. 💜💖💝

(Literally) beyond the subjects of this though, this is indeed very much a love letter to a lot of things, to passions. The background is pretty much a replica of the drama classroom wall we were in front of for the photo, at least as far as layout goes, with a few direct recreations of things that were on the wall and on the table there. Everything else was me being a passionate (theatre) nerd.

(Details (many details) of said nerdiness and alternate versions below the cut!)

I've included un-blurred and background-only versions (and a version with drop shadow lines on the girls, because why not? it's a cool effect!) below, but I just want to point out the details, because I'm so dang proud of this.

The posters/programs for The Phantom Blot of the Opera, Featherspray, Chickago, and My Fair Dewey are obvious duck-parody references to their real-world counterparts (with the latter being the exact poster they use in DuckTales, in Dewey's dream in "Nightmare on Killmotor Hill!" So thanks, Dewey! 😂). The Featherspray one was also included because Hairspray was one of the shows we did in high school! And lemme just say, creating theater posters is really fun!!

The MJ the Musical poster and the half-shown Notre Dame de Paris "Duckbill" right behind Lena's head are particularly special to me, since they (along with Phantom) are my favorite musicals, and getting to draw those two was especially fun!

The L'Orange Theater poster in the top-right is a bunch of duck easter eggs in one - the L'Orange Theater is mentioned and seen in the very first episode of DuckTales 1987, and of course, there's Aquarioon from DT17! Looks like it toured in Duckburg a long time ago. 😉

And the sheet music is the DuckTales theme! (Or at least the left side of it :P)

The "Congrats" card, calendar (the whale for upper half was my own touch), folder, page of random backstage stuff behind Lena's head (which includes little Star Trek and Darkwing Duck references), and golden "Theatre" card (with my old director's favorite quote) are directly from the photo (or at least based on what I could see through its blurriness 😝), as is the very edge of a cast photo in the upper-right. The purple note (totally not with any secret messages whaaaaat) below that, the certificate of excellence, and the little pride heart pins everywhere are little garnishes/dedications. 😊

The stage/theater diagram below the certificate is really cool, because that's a direct recreation (+ another hidden message) of a project a friend and I did for stagecraft back in our freshman year - I was even able to copy my own handwriting for the labels! 😄😂

The "Time of Our Lives" poster is a reference to the showcase I mentioned above that inspired all this, though the real-life poster looked very different, from what I remember.

The green bag below is sorta a nod to the secret pal exchanges we used to do during shows. 😉

And finally:

The Glittering Goldie show poster is me just having an absolute blast drawing her once again and coming up with something for her Blackjack days! And bonus - I'll be posting a gradient-only version of Goldie tomorrow! Really happy with how she turned out!

And the "All the World's a Stage" poster is me combining all of my theatre nerdiness with my passion for space and a good pun! 😁

ANYWAY...

I learned a lot with this drawing, about creating and about myself.

And I just had so, so much fun with it - it was all love, all passion, all happiness for this one. 💜💖💝

Wishing the same for all of you. ✨

Love, Astro 💜

#DuckTales #Webby Vanderquack #Lena Sabrewing #weblena #my art #long post #I just have a lot of feelings for this one 🥹#(the post itself kinda is a love letter? for future me as much as past me and present me. yeah let's go with that)#for real though still cackling over my design for the Phantom Blot of the Opera poster XD

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iztea · 4 months

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How do you get the ideas for your backgrounds?

mmm ideas.... sometimes i draw the background directly from a photo reference (the happy case) so there's not a lot for me to change and i can have a rather peaceful painting process

othertimes, the BG is tied to the subject/concept/scene I'm thinking of, so it only makes sense that i have that as the background

for example, for this fem skk art, i knew i wanted to have chuu kneeling in a crater after destroying a city so drawing that background was just a logical follow-up because i already had the entire idea in mind

Here, I wanted to have Akiangel sit on a building, watching over the city. The ominous sign with "the day of salvation" and crow came later after I found this picture on Pinterest, so they helped further develop the concept, but the main idea was there and so on

The third background option happens when my painting doesn't depict a certain irl scene or landscape, nor do i have any particular references i can use. In that situation, I first and foremost think about the general composition, the shapes, how they flow with each other, how I can tie them to my main theme and what sort of symbolism or little easter eggs i can throw in there just to keep it fresh and interesting for the viewer ( aka the person reading this aha ;;) :-* )

For this piece, i started with a big circle for the background, and then I started breaking it up in pleasing, cloud-like shapes and swirls that constantly keep your eye moving around the picture (i mean hopefully lol). The composition was inspired by a) Dazai's Mayoi card ofc, that trad Eastern illustration style with the circle and then branches of trees, and also .. kazuha's splash art ok i admit it bshsj

for this one, the roses came much, much later. Again, I added that sort of golden arcade to better frame the focal point or the main subject of the scene which was ofc her face and/or outfit. Then, since it still felt rather empty, awkward, and directionless, I tried finding a pleasing, spiral line that would compliment the already existing shapes and that would, again, move your eye all around the composition. I figured since her outfit already had those small roses stuffed in her belt, those curvy lines could become some bloody, spikey roses and boom! here are the theme and elements for you: blacks-roses-blood-deadly-sharp-gold etc. I then had her crush some of those roses in her right (ik it's the left hand shut up) hand to balance out the busier left side

and a last example, sometimes I draw multiple character poses in one piece and they sort of become my background. Yet I still have some blank spaces left so i gotta figure out a way to fill them out. Here, since the pose where he's all curled up was inspired by the TDIPUD light novel, i drew him as a "corpse" in a pool of blood, and contrasted it with some nice flowery-ish patterns and swirls that sort of come from within that bloody mess ( someone also mentioned it looks like a womb which I found very interesting as well ). The cats also helped fill out the space. On the left side, i added that swirly black sun that drips into three squares that gradually fill up with straight blackness and raindrops falling below inspired by the "a conviction that the sun will never rise again" line. I don't think I should go into detail with the symbolism cause it's pretty obvious and not that deep so i won't but yeah, and that's my BG all filled up!

I do this with most of my BGs, it's mostly just abstract shapes; I'm very fixated on making the overall composition look okay and for the piece to send a message ( most of the time ), so i don't think of backgrounds as a separate entity, they are part of an already existing idea, generally speaking.

This kinda turned into a composition discussion midway......... sorry about that....... To be completely honest with you, I have plenty of BG ideas, they kinda just spawn in my brain so i'm not exactly lacking in that department. Having to draw them and finding refs is the hard part for me

#long post #what's new #i genuinely enjoy talking about this so thanks for the question #i hope it helped?#bottom line is - direct refs - already existing ideas - abstract shapes and symbols that work well together #ask iztea #this is nothing new under the sun im aware it's just what i do

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mrghostrat · 4 months

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i wanted to say thank you for normalizing (for me) tracing refs and models for things, i'm from the deviantart era of "using references is cheating" which set me back YEARS lmao so to see you unabashedly using references so directly makes me feel so much better for when i do! i need to better realize that you still have to be a good artist to make a traced photo look good, and there's SO much you add to a drawing that isn't from the reference, so it's not like i'm lying or secretly a bad artist just cuz i use the csp 1.0 models for poses sometimes....... so thanks for sharing your process!!

of course!!! and 100% agree! that's what i have to remind myself whenever the imposter syndrome sets in: there's so much you gotta add to a thing beyond the traced pose, and the reason i can do it how i do is because i'm at a very comfortable stage of my artistic development. but man i've gotten so much better at freehanding so many poses and limbs and fabric details since i started tracing more frequently, it really does help your muscle memory and help build the skill!!

and. it's just, fun. when you want to turn your brain off, like that richard ii sketch i posted. sometimes i wanna draw just for the fun of it, for the tactile experience of putting down lines and making pretty shapes appear. tracing is a godsend for that. just be transparent about your process ✨

i have all kinds of opinions abt when and where tracing is helpful as u develop as an artist, but at the end of the day everyone's art journey is their own, and they should be allowed to use whatever tools are available to them. remember that artists and animators have been tracing as part of their professional workflow since the photograph has been invented.

#ask a rat #addon: i also used to be insufferable abt this #like NO ! TRACING!! IT'S!!!! ILLEGAL!!!!!!!!#but jfc man who cares #who #cares

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mellific · 10 months

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where/how did you learn how to draw cats? i LOVEEE your style

ahhh thank you so much!!! my method which i DO recommend was to get in deep parasocial relationships with all my friends' cats and do nonstop fanart.... here's a bunch from last year:

you can kind of see i'm still figuring out shapes.... sldkfjs also IN BETWEEN the b/w batch and the current batch (several months?) i fully forgot how to draw cats and did a few iterations on the very first cat drawing to decide how i wanted them to look:

also a huge fan of (as with basically any art i do!) looking at how other people draw/simplify the subject and trying out pieces of it for size!! (like, "oh this artist i like does cat faces in THIS way, can i apply that to this photo ref") uh and i definitely use reference heavily, the poses are pretty directly pulled from the photos folks sent in!

i know sometimes anatomy study (skeleton, musculature, etc) is recommended & i FULLY believe this would be helpful in understanding poses and drawing cats without photo ref but i'm.... distractible & easily bored.... slkfjds so i have a lot more fun approaching from a "how do i stylize THIS specific photo" angle

#i think my number 1 strat IS just ''draw the same photo ref a bunch and see what works best''#anyway ldskfsj grain of salt i'm making all of this up as i go!!!

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leviathans-watching · 2 years

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carving pumpkins with the brothers

includes: the brothers & gn!reader (no pronouns mentioned)

wc: .6k | rated t | m.list

warnings: mention of and use of a knife to carve a pumpkin

a/n: happy halloween to those who celebrate! enoy some #fall content from yours truly. my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come talk to me!!

please reblog (with pics of what you think the brothers pumpkins looked like)

“i’m gonna try to carve your face,” mammon says, and you burst out laughing.

“good luck with that,” satan says drily, bent over his pumpkin, spoon in hand. somehow, unlike asmo beside him, he’s completely spotless, with not a hint of goop on him anywhere.

“yeah,” belphie adds, “because your art skills can actually make that happen.”

mammon pouts, waving a handful of pumpkin guts through the air threateningly. “you guys are so mean to me! i could do it.”

“yeah, right,” levi chimes in. he’s got his brow furrowed in concentration as he outlines the shape he wants to cut out in marker, checking his reference picture every so often to make sure he’s on track. it doesn’t escape your attention that his reference photo, is in fact, a ruri-chan chibi.

“hey, beel, put that down!” belphie slaps beel’s hand just before he puts a seed into his mouth. “mc said we’ve gotta cook them first.”

“we do,” you confirm. “beel, i promise the wait will be worth it.”

he sighs, but nods. “fine. but i’m so hungry.”

“you’ll survive,” lucifer tells him, showing no mercy. he’s got his sleeves rolled up and is elbow-deep in the pumpkin, apparently haven given up on using a scoop. it’s nice to see him let go a little bit, and you’re not going to lie, the faces he’s been making at the texture deserve to be memorialised.

“okay, i think i’m ready to carve,” you say to no one in particular, and in an instant, several different carving tools are being held out. you choose one of the kitchen knives, not trusting yourself to manage anything fancier. you’ve gone for a very classic jack-o-lantern and only hope you can do it justice. carving neatly has never been your strong suit.

but isn’t that part of the fun? getting messy and goopy and having everything look a little bit wonky? you certainly think so.

“be careful not to cut yourself,” mammon warns, and you flash him a grin.

“thanks, i will.”

carefully beginning with the eyes, you begin to cut out your face.

“i’m done,” beel announces, and you look over to see his pumpkin. it’s one of the largest ones you could find and what he’s done with it is comical. a small, friendly face sits directly in the middle, disproportionately sized to the rest.

“i like it,” you say, fighting a laugh. “if you want to begin sorting the seeds from the goop, then we can cook them faster.”

beel nods, seriously and begins to do what you say. you finish up your carving in the next few minutes, proudly setting it aside.

“whoa, mc, that looks really good,” asmo cheers, and you lean over to wipe a bit of pumpkin guts off of his cheek. how he’s gotten so messy within is completely beyond you, but hey, at least he looks like he’s having a good time. “do you think you can help me with mine?”

“no way,” levi says. “we all have to do our own!”

“ugh, fine.”

“lucifer, how is yours going?” you ask, peering at his pumpkin. he’s got a pen in his hands now and seems to be considering what kind of face.

“good, except i can’t think of what to draw,” he replies, and you spread your arms.

“but there are so many options!”

“and that’s the problem. i work better when there are fewer choices.”

“maybe look up some inspo pics?” you offer helpfully, and he nods, pulling out his d.d.d.

“mammon, let’s see yours,” satan says gleefully, and mammon jumps, covering it with his arms.

“no way! it’s not ready!”

“but you’ve been drawing forever!”

“mc’s face is kinda hard, okay?” he defends, still not letting anyone see.

“that means you screwed up,” belphie intones, and mammon flushes.

“nuh-uh!” he pauses. “but um, on a totally unrelated note, are there any extra pumpkins?”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

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inkwingart · 3 months

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Three skills you need to make beautiful art, in order of importance:

observation/perception

taste/creativity

coordination

Note that these are skills. They’re not gifts bestowed by some divine entity. And skills can be improved through practice.

Note, also, that I rank observational skills highest, even above creativity, because without strong observational skills, you won’t be able to identify your own mistakes. It’s also not intuitive to train.

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started:

Pick an aesthetically pleasing photo or artwork that doesn’t have obvious lineart. Turn up the contrast a bit if the colors are muddy. Print it out or import it to your choice of drawing software.

Put some tracing paper over it or turn down the opacity and make a new layer. Don’t use tracing paper that is *too* transparent.

Trace out the areas of light and shadow. Don’t get hung up on details, just the broad strokes. Fill in the shadows, try to stick to just 2-3 values of shadow. Try hard NOT to outline “objects” in the image. Try not to erase.

Now view your trace without the original image. Can you still recognize the original subject? Can you see where you messed up/want to make changes?

Now do it while looking *at* the image rather than tracing directly from it.

Compare your referenced drawing to the traced one.

Repeat steps 1-6 with new photos/images.

Once you feel confident, try drawing from a reference without tracing.

This exercise will help you learn how to use light and shadow to define 3D forms as 2D shapes. Questions you should ask yourself during this exercise:

Can you tell where the light is coming from?

Is it a strong or weak light source?

Is there more than one light source?

What kind of materials are you observing?

How does light interact with shiny surfaces versus matte ones? Soft versus hard? Round versus angular?

Where are the edges of light and shadow? Are they soft or hard edges? Is the transition gradual or abrupt?

How would you use these observations to depict something from your imagination?

#taste stems directly from observation #and coordination comes from physically going through the motions #imo coordination is the easiest thing to train #observation and perception are much harder #tracing is a valuable exercise for study #and shouldn’t be used to pass off something as your own work

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meraki-yao · 2 months

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TN Candies Part 4

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

As promised, a new candies post to get through the week! This time it’s much less shippy and a little more of a compilation of just some generally sweet moments between them, so I’ll forgo my disclaimers this time, but there are a few more deliberate points at the last section.

Nick’s Affection Towards Taylor

1, In the Cinemagna Interview that was shot during RWRB filming and released in August, a few days before the movie, Nick was asked about working with Taylor, and right as he started to comment on Taylor as a person (as opposed to just working with him), he smiles very sweetly

2, In numerous interviews and editorials when asked to comment on working with Taylor/about Taylor, Nick often brings up “funny”, which implied they talk to each other quite a lot.

3, In the Variety podcast interview, when asked about his chemistry read with Taylor, babygirl straight up giggles a bit before saying they knew immediately they were gonna mates

4, His impression of Taylor in the GQ quiz is actually spot on: “What’s Up, I’m Taylor Zakhar Perez”, spreading his arms, loves to surf, that’s really how Taylor is: Nick really does know Taylor

5, In the recent Hits Radio interview, the question was what is something about Taylor that the public doesn’t know; Nick proceeded to praise Taylor as a person, as opposed to sharing like one of Taylor’s quirks or commenting on working with Taylor: They have a personal connection.

6, Nick tends to be a little more hyper than usual when with Taylor, as seen most prominently in the UK VS US draw-off video

Book Signing War (this isn’t even necessarily candy it’s just a fun thing that’s going on)

1, During the Vogue World event last September, Taylor originally wasn’t gonna sign anything, but saw the books and signed them anyways, quite happily so.

2, Starting from his China trip, Taylor started drawing moustaches on Henry/Nick’s face, starting with the Firstprince PR photo. I don’t think he’s ever missed a chance since lmao

3, During Milan, Nick’s first public event since Taylor started this little war, he first refers to Henry and Alex as “I” and “Taylor”, then said he’s been hearing that Taylor’s been signing on his face, which implies Taylor pops up on his social media radar. Babygirl retaliates by signing over Alex’s face (not even Taylor, it’s book Alex, he really just sees firstprince as them)

4, When the book in 3 was given to Taylor and the fan explained what Nick did, he, with a ???? (like seriously I don’t know how to describe that fucking tone) voice said “Oh he noticed”, and it totally might be a lighting/angle thing but if you look closely at that video, it might seem like he started blushing a little after the fan mentioned Nick

5, During the M&G red carpet, Nick offered to sign a fan’s firstprince card before they could ask him, and immediately went “Taylor’s face is getting signed”

SAG-PGA-Spirit Award Weekend

1, (This one was exclusively observed by the Chinese fans so kind of tin hat, take it with a pinch of salt) When asked about working with Nick on the SAG carpet, Taylor’s immediate reaction is somehow exactly the same as Alex’s after “I think we should make love tonight”: “Oh”, enlarged pupils, quick successive blinks, the first sentence that follow is said with a slight frown (you get the implication, but truthfully imo it’s just that Alex and Taylor share the same shock reaction)

2, For the Spirit Awards, Taylor worn a RED suit with a WHITE undershirt to a BLUE carpet, and WORN A FUCKING PINKIE RING

3, A bit more on the Cartier Watch from part 1: Taylor wore it to the Spirit Award, and Nick wore it to the Vanity event a few days ago. Now here’s where what I read on Weibo and what I read here are in conflict, for simplicity’s sake this time I’ll just directly translate what’s on Weibo for now :

“Oh, I’m so touched. But I saw his stylist (Jason Bolden) tagged Cartier, could this be a partnership with the brand?”

“Taylor could have chosen to just wear the necklace or wear another Cartier watch from a different series, but he worn this one which matches with Nick’s, it has to be a deliberate choice”

“Nope! All the brand for his other accessories were tagged in his(Jason Bolden’s) post, he even tagged Cartier for the necklace, but not for the watch. Cartier only reposted it in their IG story, If it’s an actual collaboration with a brank, he would deliberate pose to show off the watch like he did with LV and TAG Heur, but on the red carpet he hid his Cartier watch, the two photos are from the Vogue photographer”

“Also the celebrity themselves, the brand, and the stylist, all parties would deliberately wear different pieces from the same brand, especially for relatively less pricey watches like the Cartier Tank series (the watch in question). On top of that, they know that Nick’s been wearing this watch for these past couple of months, the night of the Academy Museum Gala where Nick and Taylor stuck by each other’s side the whole night, Nick wore this Cartier watch. Also if it’s an event or partnership with the brand, Taylor wouldn’t have to hide it ”

That’s it for part 4! I think from now on I’ll try to post a candy post every Sunday night (for me). There’s a whole September timeline I need to organize (a lot happened in September but it’s very very tin hat so I’m also trying to filter through what I’m comfortable with posting and what I’m not)

Also if you sent me a candy in my inbox I read it! Thank you for it! If I haven’t posted it yet it’s because I either want to fact check some of the details or want to figure out how to respond

Tagging a couple of folks:

@lfg1986-2 @tal-vez-o-quizas @na-18dia @mylucayathoughts @androgynoustriumphclown @hopefulblizzardsublime @whattfisausername @leimons @ghostwithatophat @badhimboi88 @pippin-katz

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #taylor zakhar perez #alex claremont diaz #nicholas galitzine #henry hanover stuart fox #henry fox mountchristen windsor #firstprince #taynick #meraki essay #meraki translates #also fingers crossed we'll get them for glaad #if that happens then I'll have a lot to write and translate but I'll happily type my hands off if I can see them tgt at glaad

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catsharky · 4 months

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I've just discovered your Rolan x Tav comic.

It's SO neat and accurate, in matter of deign and details!

In case you don't mind, of course, I have some questions you maybe have answered before:

What software do you work with? What kind of pencils do you use? How do you manage to set so neat and clean results? Do you need many references for that or is just a gift you have? How many years have you been drawing to achieve those results?

I don't mind at all! And I don't believe I've answered any of these questions before, at least not since I started doing my comics.

For software I mainly use Clip Studio, though I do also use PaintTool Sai (v2) for certain things that I feel it does better. All of my Mass Effect comics are lined in Sai, for example because things like armour have a lot more inorganic shapes and require long, sweeping, unbroken lines, and I like the pen stabilization in Sai far better than CSP's for that sort of thing.

For how long I've been doing art, I've been at it basically nonstop since I was 9 (so 20 years now, jeez). I was in an art program throughout highschool, went to college for art/animation for 4 years, and I'll have been working professionally as an animator for 8 years in May! So there's a lot of practice there for sure.

And yeah, I use a ton of references. Usually a good chunk of the time I'll spend on something is just collecting or making the reference material I need for it.

I'm putting the rest under a read more because it's pretty long:

(Tumblr keeps eating my formatting so sorry if this is a little scuffed)

Because I'm normally working full time and doing this stuff in my free time after hours and on weekends, if I know I'm going to be drawing something a *lot*, I'll usually put together some kind of reference for myself in 3D so I can take some of the brainwork out of it and get more out of my evenings even when I'm feeling fried. It also means I put as little extra strain on my wrist as possible because I injured it a number of years back and it gets angry at me if I go for too many hours in a day.

But to give you an example, for Ember I have a Sculpt of her head that I can use to reference any angle I want, or to draw directly over top of for tricky angles. How I draw her isn't quite 1:1 to the model, but it gives me a base structure and landmarks I can build on top of.

My basic workflow is to take the angle I want, draw over it using the model as a guide (while picking and choosing where to stay true to it and where to say fuck it and do what I want), then I get rid of the 3D and do another pass, tweaking and redrawing anything I'm not totally happy until I'm satisfied with how it looks. I draw Ember with a slightly softer, more rounded face than the model has, for instance. Just because something looks right in 3D doesn't always mean it looks right once translated to 2D and I don't care if something is technically "correct" if it doesn't feel right or isn't conveying what I want it to properly.

I'm also always checking reference screenshots to make sure I'm in the right ballpark of how something should look. I actually have a wall of photos next to my desk and while I didn't put them up for that purpose, it has come in surprisingly handy for quickly checking face or hair details when needed. I also just have a big folder of screenshots and other saved reference material.

I don't have a problem noooo~ 😅

Additionally, if my art has a background these days, there is a 100% chance that's a 3D set I built in Blender because I hate drawing backgrounds, but I do like building them in 3D.

Here's two examples: the area around Astarion's bed, which I built out of some of the in-game assets like a lego set (this was a pain in the ass, it probably would have been faster to just build it from scratch based on screenshots 😩) and a closet I modelled for something that's still a WIP.

I'll get the angle I want, have Blender generate some linework from it and then grab a basic render of it to slap into CSP so I can draw the characters over top of it.

And as for brushes: the main brush I use in CSP is just the default 'Real G-Pen', with opacity effects turned off and these pressure settings: (I like to keep it simple, and I have a bit of a heavy hand so the altered pen pressure just helps me get a smoother taper). I change up the stabilizer settings depending on what I'm doing. Lower for things that need short, quick lines like hair and higher for most other things.

For Sai, I use a 9B pencil I found a number of years ago on Deviantart (I think?) and I wish I could link you to the original post I got the settings from, but Deviantart's search is... bad and I'm unable to find it again.

I hope that answered all your questions! If not, feel free to ask more!

#not sharky art #jlbilu #sharky speaks #process talk

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habken · 1 year

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How do you think up poses? Especially full body 💀

The best way to think of poses, is to already have an idea of what you want in mind, not just going in blind. Everything from action to emotion influences what a pose will look like, so think about what you’re trying to convey before you start drawing.

Don’t be afraid to use references and don’t be afraid to look at other artists’ work for inspiration! You don’t have to pull a pose out of thin air, it can be influenced by outside sources.

Practice A Lot, it becomes much easier to think up and churn out poses when you've already done it thousands of times lol. Life drawing sessions are great for building up your understanding of anatomy and offer you the chance to draw poses while directly referencing a real live model, which I personally find is better than referencing from photos. There’s tons of other resources for figure drawing/posing out there on the internet as well!

Also, I often do upwards of five poses before I get to the final drawing, I don’t usually ever go with my first idea because often my first sketches suck lmao, for instance, the bunny bkdk stuff I made:

I did a lot of exploration before settling on poses I liked, and these few are just the ones I didn’t end up deleting :’) You won’t always have a solid idea the first few times around, so don’t be afraid to do copious amounts of sketches until you have something you like

tldr: have an idea of what you’re drawing already in mind, practice over and over again, use the resources available to you, don’t think you have to come up with one single finished idea

#Hope that helps ? I’m not always the best with advice lol #but I hope that what I’m saying makes sense and answers your question a bit #ask #art advice #art tips

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mysticdragon3art · 3 months

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Faebruary 2024, days 1-9. Experiments in learning to draw chibi Ballister Boldheart fairy.

2 days ago, I finally remembered the Faebruary drawing challenge, which I always look forward to (because I like drawing butterfly fairies), but I always forget (because it's February). So I tried to cram in a bunch of catch-up drawings.

Every Faebruary, I draw chibi butterfly fairies of my current OTPs. This year, it's Goldenheart.

But I still need to learn to draw both Ballister and Ambrosius. And I'm still testing out which of my Copic colors to use for them. I'm especially having trouble drawing Ballister's hair, from a front point of view. I keep wanting to draw the upturn at the back of his hair, even though it's not visible when he is facing directly straight ahead. It's really hard to not draw the upturn, after those years of drawing Claude von Riegan.

This time, I've chosen real life butterfly wings to base theirs off of, instead of making up my own designs. Because Ballister's comic book name is "Blackheart", I'm basing his wings off the "Uranothauma nubifer" or "black heart" butterfly. Ambrosius Goldenloin's wings will be based on the "Wallace's golden birdwing" butterfly, because that was the first butterfly with the word "golden" in its name that appeared in Google search.

The problem is that I think I might have referenced the wrong pictures for the "black heart" butterfly. A Google search shows many different looking "black heart" butterflies. It's difficult to know which pic to reference. I initially went with Wikispecies's pic, since it was specifically labelled "Uranothauma nubifer". But it's also labelled "Uranotauma nubifer, as Lycaena nubifer Trimen", so it might be a different variation of that butterfly. Maybe??? I went with the mostly solid brown wing from Wikispecies's reference, since that would be easier to draw/color. But I later found several other websites specifically labelling photos of the "black heart" butterfly, which look completely different from Wikispecies's mostly solid brown wings. They're mostly gray and tan speckles on white. So I tried to stylize a design based on the more speckled "black heart" butterfly wings. I'm still trying to simplify it in a way that is easy to draw. And I'm still trying to figure out colors that don't get confusing when juxtaposed by Ballister's skin or clothing.

I usually draw my fairies without shoes, but I wanted to practice drawing Ballister's (and Ambrosius's) full outfits, since I'm just starting to learn to draw them. Also, their regular clothes are close enough to the "medieval fantasy"-inspired fashion that I usually draw my fairies in.

I was unsure about adding Ballister's cybernetic arm. How would a fairy get a tiny cybernetic arm? Does their hidden fairy society in the woods, have a whole system of technological equipment and supplies? Does a human use magnifying glass spectacles and miniature cybernetics to make a tiny robot arm for him??? So I skipped the whole subject by not drawing his robot arm.

2/8-10/2024. No pencil underdrawings. Platinum Preppy fountain pen, using Noodler's Ink. Colored with Copic markers and a Daiso Fluently marker. Some corrections made with white-out, Gelly Roll white gel pen, and digitally with Krita.

#faebruary #faebruary2024 #fanart #chibi #fairy #fairies #ballister boldheart #netflix nimona #pinkfluidnf

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thejessc0de · 8 months

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Do you have any tips for someone who is trying a more realistic aproach for their art style? your painting and lighting are so good that I had to ask 🤠

Thank you!

So this question is actually pretty hard to answer, mostly because I still consider myself a beginner/hobbyist, and I'm pretty sure a lot of my technique comes from the ~5 years of classical art training I received in middle school and high school, and that's so fuzzy I can't tell what's intuition or muscle memory! I can go over some of my workflow/thoughts though and hopefully some of it is useful!

The first thing is that for realism, You. Need. References. It is impossible to replicate the level of detail in a realistic painting without a reference. I usually pick a reference, try to draw that reference exactly, and once I have the proportions correct, I'll change it to match the character/scene I'm drawing (move an arm, tilt the head, add a hand, make the eyes bigger, add anime hair etc. haha). Over time you'll get more comfortable moving away from a specific reference and piecing together a bunch of references into something more unique.

Here is an example of a recent post that was fairly simple. I take the reference image (link to reference here) and try to match it, and then I change it to match the character details, in this case, Kashimo.

As for the lighting, when I first started, my colors were a mess! I already know basic color theory which helps, but it didn't help enough haha. What I think helped me learn the quickest was color picking - in krita you can select a color directly from an imported reference figure. So I'd find a reference that I really liked the lighting on, and color picked from it while paying attention to the actual color I was grabbing (how warm it was, gray it was, what the typical skin tones were, etc).

Later on as I started to learn what types of color palettes I really liked working with, I'd open the reference photo in Krita and tweak the image's contrast and sometimes completely change the lighting and colors. However, at some point I started using it as a crutch and my skills stagnated, so you need to be careful! However, now I've progressed to the point of doing a painting in black and white and adding the colors later (with no color picking!), sometimes even without a reference for the color. This was a slow and painful process, so don't expect things to make sense overnight!

Also, don't forget that you don't have to make the colors perfect in one shot. Usually I'll color things using a color layer with minimal detail and basic color tone (Itadori's hair is soft pink, his hoodie is bright red, etc), and then create shadows and lighting with multiply and overlay layers (blues and purples for night, etc.). Eventually I'll build up the color and merge all the layers together, and then add details in full color. I can color pick from other parts of the painting to maintain consistency. Then to finish things off, I almost always tweak the colors and contrast using filter layers.

Here is an example from that same Kashimo painting, going from black and white to full colors using color, multiply, and overlay layers, and then ending with full color details.

As a side note, starting out in black and white can make things so much easier. When you're only worried about values, you can really focus on shadow depth and the shapes of things. It's so much easier to explore rendering when you're not trying to do color on top of everything! Don't try to do everything at once.

The rendering style I use is based heavily on trying to replicate the feeling of actual oil painting. I use the (free!) art program Krita, and my favorite, most used brush is from a free pack I downloaded from deviant art (here). I use the brush called R T Masked4 (shown below) for basically 90% of any painting I do. I use about 4 brushes total on a typical painting (R T Masked4, that same brush but tweaked to be narrower for hair details, a smudge brush that I discovered maybe 10 days ago that I'm now obsessed with, and sometimes a scratchy brush for additional texture).

One last thing - don't be afraid to use tracing! Block in a reference photo to get the head and shoulders in the right place!! Trace a few hands to see how it feels!!! Obviously don't trace somebody's art and present it as your own, and it should only be rough approximations of shapes so you learn how to break down the body into parts. Otherwise, it won't be helpful at all. I only use photographs for tracing, including pictures I've taken of myself. One of the more helpful things I'll do is free hand my drawing and try to make it match the reference as closely as possible. Then, on a separate layer, I'll trace the reference photo (again, no details, just general positioning/shapes), and compare it to my original drawing. I can immediately see the issues, and I'll use the liquify tool to get things in the right place. I've learned that my horizontal spacing is usually pretty good, but I struggle with vertical spacing, especially on faces. So now I triple check my work for those specific things!

This kinda turned into a book, I'm sorry! I hope some of this is helpful and doesn't sound like the 10:30pm ramblings of someone who didn't get enough sleep haha.

#tumblr asks #art process #realism sorta #digital art #krita #drawn with krita

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adorkastock · 3 months

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Hi! I have a bit of a weird question. So I’m using a different reference for a picture I’m working on but the character I’m drawing has wings and I’m using one of your models picture references from the wing pack for the wings. Should I still tag you? I just want to ask so I know what to do. Thanks so much! Sorry if this doesn’t make sense

Credit and notification are required when people repost my images or use my images directly in their new work (like a photo manipulation).

Credit to me is always optional for referencing! If you're just looking at my reference and drawing a picture on your own from it then feel free to tag me if you want! But it's not required. ♥ I do like to see the art and I do occasionally reshare. In this case it would be optional since you're looking at my image and drawing a new thing from it. ♥

#ask adorkastock #terms of use

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writersblockedx · 2 years

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The Side Effects of Curses

Pairing - Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader Summary - While hunting a witch, Y/n gets a rather harmful curse placed on her. Slowly, the people around her begin to forget her existance - Dean is the last, and only, person who remembers, stopping at nothing to lift the curse. Warnings - ANGST, general violence, death Words - 4.1K

A/n - I don’t know what it is about me writing 4K fics full of angst, but here’s another one

Part Two / Visit my masterlist

Y/n had a certain hatred for witches. They were tricky creatures, always slipping through your fingers just before you were able to slice their throat. In this particular case, Y/n had been so close to get said blade at said throat, but a few utters of Latin and suddenly she was thrown across the room and, as always was the pattern, the wicked witch slipped right through her fingers.

In a blurred haze to figure out what was going on, the girl tried to pull herself up, soon feeling Dean crouching at her side. "Hey, are you alright?" He questioned, already inspecting her health: pressing his palm against her temples and scanning for any physical signs that she was hurt.

She nodded, though she still wasn't 100% sure in the fact. Her arms reached at her shirt sleeve, pulling in backwards to reveal a mark that the words of a Latin must have left her with. Both her and Dean were puzzled, glancing at one another. "Do you know what it means?" The boy lightly shook his head before pulling the girl up from the floor.

He kept one hand around her waist, her's around his shoulders, as they headed for the exit. Their timing had been perfect when they wandered onto the front porch to find the witch's blood on Sammy's hands and her limp body below him. "Everything alright?" Queried the younger brother.

Dean looked to Y/n to answer. "I don't know yet."

They stuffed into the impala that night, driving straight for Bobby's, while they continued to question the curious symbol that painted Y/n's wrist. Dean was too busy with his hands on the wheel to pick up a book, but Sam sat with his father's journal and Y/n with the laptop in her lap. It had been an hour; they had found nothing.

"Let me see the symbol again." Sam instructed and she followed, putting her arm over the leather of the front seats. The boy inspected in, referring to the drawing that was situated in the book, brows narrowed. When he was certain (and by that I mean, absolutely certain), he let out an, "Oh no."

One expression that had erupted panic over the historic car. "What?" Snapped Dean as his eyes darted between his brother and the road ahead.

Sam didn't look to his brother. Instead, his gaze found Y/n who was sitting doe-eyed in the back seat. He read over the words in the journal to, once again, be utterly sure in what was about to happen to the girl. "Be careful when gaining this curse from a witch. From the moment the spell is placed, the target will begin to be forgotten." He paused, eyes flickering between the book and Y/n. "To start with, those who are not well acquainted with the target, will forget they ever even existed. Photos of them and any written documentation that exit will soon begin to fade. Friends and the people closest are the last to remember them until it's as if they don't even exist at all."

It took a moment for the words to seep in. A long moment. "Okay, well that's enlightening." Y/n huffed as it hadn't just frightened her to her core just at the idea.

"How do we reverse it?" Dean asked.

There was anxiety in Dean's tone, which prompted a fast response from Sam as he read directly from the pages in front of him: "To reverse the spell, the witch of whom casted it must reverse it and create a protection bag for the target..." His words kept coming and it only made the stone in Y/n's chest heavier.

She pushed the laptop to the side, leaning over the seats, her elbows rested against the leather. "It say anything about if said witch happens to be dead already?" She questioned, hiding the terror that was sitting on her tongue.

Sam shook his head and that terror grew ten times. "Nothing."

"Then we'll find something." Dean objected.

The car was silent. They had weaved their way out of many things, but the timer was already running out and they had no idea what to do. "Dean-" Y/n had started her argument but the boy was already past listening.

"No. Bobby will have something. He always does." He assured.

While her brain ran with the thoughts of 'what if he didn't', she sat quietly in the back and waited until they returned to the hunter's home for the lost. The idea that people may already have forgotten her was beginning to infect her mind. Following that, was the idea of being completely alone, of having no one to hang onto. No more Sam or Dean, no more Bobby. Her future had been stripped away in an instant, and in it's place, was a lonely road she wasn't certain she was ready to walk down.

Dean pulled into Bobby's in record time, a pace in his step as the three of them rushed to the front door. He banged against the wood - sure to anger the older man at this time of night. "I'm beginning to think you boys needs a key." He grumbled, swinging the door open. He was about to open his mouth again. Then it shut and his gaze focused on Y/n. Oh no, she seemed to think. "Who's this?"

She couldn't speak in that moment. The timer was like quicksand - and Y/n was falling through it quick. Her eyes darted to Dean, begging silently for him to take this one. "Bobby, this is Y/n. You remember her right?"

As if a light had just been switched on in his head, realization faded over him. Then confusion. "What the hell do you do this time?" And like that, he turned and stormed back into his home, leaving the trio to follow behind him.

"It wasn't what we did, Bobby." Y/n started as they came into the kitchen, Sam going to the fridge for a beer. "For once anyway."

"One word," Sam started as he retracted from the fridge, bottle in hand. "Witch."

The girl screwed up her sleeve to showcase the symbol that now littered her skin. "People are going to slowly forget me. Obviously, some already have." She explained.

Sighing, Bobby took a seat at the kitchen table, Sam joining him. "Well, have you even looked at solutions?" He questioned.

"The witch needs to be alive to reverse the spell." Sam informed as he kept his eyes on the table.

"And which of you idgits killed her?"

Dean pushed himself from the counter he had been leaning against, unusually quiet. "It doesn't matter." He exhaled deeply, wandering into the study area as everyone's gaze followed him. "There has to be something in one of these many books that tells us how to fix this." Dean was certain of it. Because, if he wasn't so certain, then what else did he have to rely on?

Sam and Bobby shared a look. The sort of worrisome look Y/n wasn't supposed to catch when it happened. The one that silently said, they weren't sure she was going to get through this one. It made that terror grow like vines wrapping around her thoughts. "Then we should probably start reading." Y/n suggested.

Her and Dean took the couch, Bobby at his desk and Sam at the kitchen table. And they read. Dean researched like he never had before, breathing in every word. But there was a lack of anything related to this curse. The time was running out and they had yet to make any moves at all.

Y/n shut her book, the heaviness of the text causing a thud that sounded through the walls. "Maybe we should get some sleep." She suggested through an uncertain tone. "Fresh start in the morning."

They all stared back with blank expressions. It wasn't until Bobby huffed when the silence was finally broken, "They won't say it, so I will." He paused as he debated over the right words. "You do realise that if we sleep, we may not remember you when we wake up. I'll be honest, I have to keep reminding myself why I'm reading this. Not to mention, I can tell my memories are fading."

"So what? You want to stay up all night, staring at the same books and come to the same conclusion that the answer isn't here?" Bobby's library of books was big, but it wasn't everything. Sometimes they just had to figure another way out of things, find another book and find another expert on the subject.

"We can't do nothing." Dean stated through a stern expression.

She glanced over at him, his eyes sharing the same amount of terror that was bubbling in her stomach. "So you forget me, I'll probably work faster finding a way to reverse this alone anyway. And once I reverse this, everything will be back to normal. I'm sure you can last, what? A week at the most without me?" The thought of having Y/n completely wiped from their thoughts was daunting, but they trusted her enough as a hunter to get the job done.

Sam was the first to open up to the idea, "So we just go to sleep...hope when we wake up we still have some memory of you?"

She shrugged, "Unless you have any better ideas." Which none of them did.

Sam and Bobby gathered from the living room for the sleep they were truly craving. Her and Dean were more slow, as if wanting to savor this moment they knew he would forget. "If it's any consolation, I think this plan is terrible."

She smiled over at him as he towered over her. "It's the only plan we have."

"Doesn't make it any more bearable." He paused and for a moment they simply stared at one another - again, savoring this moment. "Just promise me you'll fix this curse? Even if it takes months, years. I can't lose you."

She took a slight step closer to him, her palms cupping his cheeks. "I promise." That moment lasted a second too long. Many words could have killed the empty silence. Many words Dean had been yearning for the courage to tell Y/n for far too long now. Alas, they settled in the silence until Y/n's hands dropped from his skin and they joined Sam and Bobby in the trip for sleep.

It wasn't a rarity for Y/n and Dean to share a bed. They had done it several times in the many dodgy motels they had once been forced to call home. And even shared the back seat many nights in the Impala. Sometimes it was simply due to practically - Sam being far too large to share a bed with. But, there were times, special times, where they shared the space of a bed for the need of comfort. And knowing by the time you woke, your best friend may have forgotten your entire existence, well that called for some comfort.

Both of them tucked beneath the sheets, they turned on their sides as to face one another. At first, they pretended to try and sleep - knowing it was no use. It didn't take long till Y/n plucked an eye open to catch a sight of Dean and see if he had fallen into his dreams yet. To her surprise, her eyes met his stare. "You watching me sleep?" Her hoarse voice said through the quiet rustling of the night.

His stare never dropped. "Trying to make sure I remember what you look like."

"Way to make it depressing." Dean didn't reply, but still never dared to tear his gaze away. Maybe he truly was trying to keep the image of her in the forefront of his mind. "Dean, I'm going to fix this, you know?" She seemed to have to remind him.

He struggled to find the words to respond. "I know." It was just that small what if that was running riot around his thoughts. What if there was no solution to this curse? What if Dean would forget about the girl he had been in love with for years now?

"Hey," She spoke when Dean looked as if he were falling down that hole again. Her hand reached over his own, beginning to draw circles against his skin. "We've beaten worse than a curse." She reminded him before leaning up in the bed to press a gentle kiss to the boy's forehead. "I'll see you in the morning, Dean." Y/n said as she returned back.

"Night." He flashed a smile that he had barely been able to produce.

She let her eyes drop first. Dean waited. He waited as long as his sleep-deprived brain would let him. Until finally, in the midst of the night, he dropped to sleep. Her hand still tangled with his and the two still facing one another. Maybe by morning, Dean would assume he had drank too much the night before and the beautiful girl in his bed had been the consequence of said drinking. Or maybe, as he preyed, he'd wake up and remember every effect the girl had on him.

Y/n didn't know whether to be pleased or terrified that she was the first awake. She'd lingered between the sheets for a moment too long. She watched Dean and wondered if he might stir awake. Alas, he sat stable, sleeping like a baby. So she dragged herself from bed and wandered down stairs for some food.

She was halfway through frying an egg when a familiar set of steps followed through. At first, Y/n wasn't sure what to do. But she figured everything would be fine. "Who the hell are you!"

Y/n gasped at first, holding in her squeal as she faced the barrel of Sam's gun. When she didn't answer, he flicked the gun around as if reminding her of the threat. "Sam-"

"Bobby!"

Another set of steps followed. Shit. "You really just got to hear me out on this one."

Sam scoffed, "Uhuh, start talking then." He demanded.

It was then Bobby came to join the party, "Sam, what the hell-" The man stopped in his tracks. Within half a second, his gun was too pulled on her.

"I can explain." She flashed a grin she hoped might win them over; it didn't. So she resulted to her next option. "Dean!" She yelled. There was a bit of hope that maybe Dean hadn't joined the other two in forgetting her completely yet. So maybe he might just be able to save her from this interaction.

"Oh," Sam said as if in sudden realisation. "You're here with Dean."

The thought of what Sam was insinuating made Y/n shake her head, and in the spur of the moment she blurted out, "No!" Which, if she were to deny that, it still left the question as to what she was doing here. So, she decided to go with it. "I mean, yes. I'm here with Dean."

Sam huffed and put his gun away, Bobby following as the oldest Winchester finally joined them in the kitchen - far too tired for any of this. "Next time any of you wake me up before I would like to, someones going to get hit." He stopped completely when he realised everyone was staring at him.

Y/n stared at Dean as if she had suddenly become mesmerised by him. She was waiting for the pin to drop. To know whether the boy in front of her would be the one to remember. "Dean," She called to him as to bring his attention to her.

As if in an instant, it all came flooding back. "Y/n." His expression turned worrisome once more, wanting nothing more than to just reach out and protect her from this curse that had her memory doomed.

"Oh, so she has a name?" Sam taunted his brother with a certain light-heartedness that made Y/n feel as if she were suffocating. The boy started walking back, patting Dean on his shoulder as he passed and whispering to him: "I'm proud of you. You don't normally remember their names."

"Shut up, Sam." The older boy huffed before he and Bobby left the kitchen to let the pair talk things out. While they were under the belief this was an awkward interaction after a one-night-stand, they could never remember the severity of the situation.

Once they exited, Y/n couldn't help but crash into Dean, his arms seeming to wrap around her like a layer of bubble wrap. She pulled away and asked one simple question: "What do we do?"

Dean hadn't thought this far ahead. His thoughts had been flooding over the idea that he may not remember the girl in front of him. And now that he did, he was struggling to move forward. "Library. Could be something there, in the archives maybe." He suggested.

Y/n wasn't convinced. "And do what? We couldn't find anything in Bobby's books, I doubt they'll be anything in the library."

"So we just sit and wait until the curse reaches my brain too?" He argued with aggression in laced his tone.

She shook her head, "I'm not saying that." She paused and watched Dean's expression carefully. He was a protective one, who would stop at nothing to make sure her, Sam, Bobby and anyone else he had ties to were safe. "Why don't we get some food?"

"Yeah, we can fit that in between getting your hair done and a trip to the mall." He mocked as if her idea had been one of a joke. "We don't know how long it'll be until I forget you completely."

"That's my point, Dean." She took a step closer, easing her palms around his cheeks. In a wave, the boy seemed to calm, that fury that once settled in his pupils seeming to dissipate. "Like we said last night, once you forget, I've got to figure this out on my own. We don't know how long that will take, weeks, months, years maybe. So I'd like to enjoy what time we have left together." She paused for a moment. "Please." She added with her wide, puppy dog eyes.

"Fine."

And so they dressed for the day, got in the Impala and drove to the nearest diner for their last supper.

Eating greasy food in a cheap diner was a normality for the pair. But as they were served their hamburgers and fries, it seemed like it would take an army for them to begin eating. Y/n picked up the bun, yet, before she took a bite, she glanced to the boy beside her in the booth. "Dean," She said through uncertain teeth.

He turned to her, "What is it?" His voice entwined with worry.

Her breath was shaking as she put the burger back to plate. "I'm going to miss you." She finally spat out as if the words had been waiting on the tip of her tongue. "I know maybe that's stupid to say, but-"

"You'll figure it out." He cut her off. "Because if you don't, I'll kill you." The words brought light smiles to both their faces, hiding the terror that still plagued them.

She nodded as the space between them began to close. So much so, she only had to speak in a whisper. "I know you will." And like that, Dean couldn't help himself. Maybe it was the emotions that overwhelmed him, but before he knew it, he was leaning into her lips to savour his first and (possibly) final kiss with the girl he adored.

When Dean pulled away, he certainly hadn't expected to meet Y/n's teary pupils. She stared at him for a moment longer, wishing they could stay in this booth forever and never have to worry about this stupid curse. "We should probably get going." She suggested, forcing a grin to her lips as if that was going to hide her glossy eyes - it didn't.

Dean nodded, surprisingly not putting up any argument like he had been doing for the past 24 hours. "Okay."

Y/n shuffled out of the booth, "I'm just going to the toilet." She informed him.

"Looks like I'm stuck paying the bill then." He joked.

She raised her brows, "Looks that way yeah." And with that, she left the boy.

She should have known. She should have known that when she wasn't right in front of Dean, then there was no reminder of herself. And that was a risk with the curse that plagued her skin. She should have known not to take that risk. But it all came crashing over her once she exited the toilets.

Her best friend (whom she had just shared a kiss with) was paying his bill, leaning close to the blonde waitress and batting his lashes with the familiar puppy dog eyes Y/n knew all too well. She was at a complete standstill. She couldn't move. Her gut had dropped and, even though she saw this coming, it didn't stop the pain that stung her.

"See you soon I hope." Gleamed the overly eager waitress as Dean winked and gathered himself from the booth.

He flashed his goodbye smile, tucked his wallet into his back pocket and left the diner - unaware of what he had forgotten. Y/n stood in the same spot. She didn't move. She just watched as the boy seamlessly entered the Impala and drove home. Just like that, she was on her own until she found a cure on getting her memory back.

---

Even the promise Y/n had made to Dean, assuring him she would never stop looking for a way to end this curse, hadn't stopped her. The first year had been the hardest. She found herself in denial, repeating to herself that they had gotten so far and never not had a remedy for something. Now, almost four years later, she had come to accept it, come to accept her new life. While it was a life she lived completely alone - it was life.

She still hunted. I mean, it seemed to be the only job she could do. With no one able to remember who she was, it wasn't as if she would be able to keep a 9 to 5. So, she got her own car, took her own cases, made her own fake FBI badges and killed all by herself. Of course, she still thought about the brothers, wondered whether they ever questioned the empty space in the pictures. But it was mainly the dull ache in her bones that missed them both deeply.

"If you happen to remember anything, no matter how weird, just give me a ring." Y/n flashed a smile to the vic's wife, passing over her face FBI business card.

The sensitive women nodded and took it gratefully. "Thank you." She responded before walking away.

Y/n planned to leave then. But, when she turned, she faced the sheriff. "Got two of your partners as well." He said.

The girl peeked her head over his shoulders, catching the familiar shaggy long hair. The only reason she could see Sam was due to his rather excessive height. And while she knew Dean was likely standing next to him, their eyes didn't meet until the sheriff budged to the side. She was, once again, at a standstill. They, on the other hand, were nervous that they were about to get caught. "Agent," Said Sam as a way of greeting.

She shook her head as a way to bring herself back to the moment. She glanced to the sheriff first, "Would you excuse us?" He nodded and wandered off to complete some police duties.

It was then the brothers were convinced they had in fact been caught. So it came as quite a surprise when she said: "I know you're hunters."

Dean looked to his younger brother before he began to force out a laugh. "What? Hunter?" He giggled as if she had just made a joke. "No idea what you're talking about."

Y/n's eyes rolled before she pulled back her blazer a tad: showcasing the demon knife she still possessed. "And you are?" Asked Sam with one quirked brow.

"Y/n." There was no recognition in either of their eyes. And honestly, to face that had been more painful than anything in then last years she'd spent alone.

"How come we've never heard of you, Y/n?" Dean questioned as if it were an interrogation like she weren't to be trusted.

Another wave of pain hit her. So hard she thought one of them may note the tears that were building up behind her pupils. But she pushed it as far down as she was able and pretended as if the two people in front of her weren't once the closest thing she had to family. "Suppose I'm just not that rememberable."

–

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