#i want to listen to some fun stuff but if i do that i might just completely break the thread of Focus

[marabarl-and-marlbara]

hi i wanted to know if u have any good book recommendations? they can be about anything rlly i just want to become smarter

hi anonymous;

you:re as smart as you need to be, and really: you should read books out of passion (and fun) in lieu of pure raw erudition--mostly cause i think that is a fast way to burn yourself out by forcing yourself to read through dry garbage you don:t really want to read (this sounds loaded, but countering what i:m saying: if you are suddenly passionate about pursuing Pure Mathematics and want to just dive into math textbooks: then pursue that passion :-)) );

i do have recommendations, though! but i don:t think they:ll make you smarter; my favorite book as a kid was Howl's Moving Castle (hated the movie, garbage), it:s just a very fun fantasy book and it rekindled my love for reading after a long stint of trying-to-be-smarter by pursuing philosophical trash;

i really really really loved Squee! and Johnny the Homicidal Maniac as a kid, too; my dad sent them to me as a gift when i was really young & probably one of the only things he sent me that i deeply loved; i wish i still had those books, i:ve really been wanting to re-read them;

read Crying of Lot 49 this year and it moved me a lot--made me really interested in Pynchon as a whole; I'd rope a handful of American authors into this actually: Shirley Jackson's We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Flannery O'Connor's A Good Man is Hard To Find, Cormac McCarthy's Outer Darkness were all amazing surprises to me that just made me really appreciate American authors (sort-of doofy but I really did just appreciate this southern tradition of writers in an inspiring sort-of geographical way, like: I know these lands! I am soaked in this dust! I have this same odd bigotry in me!) -- but I think all of those works/authors are great and you probably can't go wrong with anything any of them have wrote;

I'm currently reading My Brilliant Friend by Elena Ferrante and really enjoying it; the cover/name makes you think of some harlequin romance novel but it's basically a femcel manifesto on hating someone so obsessively that it is indistinguishable from love; I'm currently listening to Stephen King's Duma Key and enjoying it--I'm listening through a lot of King books, just finished From a Buick 8 (loved it) (I'd rope King into the 'loving American authors' thing, cause he was a part of my culture growing up, you know? as doofy as it is, I'm kinda happy to have grown up alongside his career and output and it's been fun to finally delve into his stories);

also finished Nabokov's Pale Fire recent-ish -- if you like stuff like House of Leaves you might like it (it sounds sinful to compare that book to Nabokov but it's pretty apt, too); it's one of the few books I've read that actually made me laugh, and Nabokov is a beautiful writer, and Pale Fire is a book with enough depth that I think a reader could go through it several times and pluck out something completely new each time.

I don't think any of these would make you smarter; funny as it is: I think the KJV Bible is a beautiful read but I don't think I'd suggest it outside of attending church wholly because part of the poetry of the Bible comes from studying the context of a passage and all the lenses that come with it (I'd actually consider studying the 'academic biblical' analysis of the Bible as a church itself, not in contrast with church apologia); you can find a lot of odd inspiration in the works of prophets ala Mary Baker, Ellen White, various Catholic saints, Joseph Smith, Hubbard (wink, but sincere, I like Hubbard), etcetera--but I feel like inspiration or passion leads you to those works rather than some dull desire to soak up another persons passions in hopes that'll saturate you with something you've been missing. Ex: if you want to be a Christian Scientist: read Mary Baker; but likely if you wanted to, you'd already be reading--as circling as that sounds.

Take care, anonymous.

[practically-an-x-man]

my community theatre is doing Little Shop of Horrors in January next year (but the auditions are next month because there will likely be a winter break in the middle) and I was like "it's a fun show but I don't know who I'd go for if I auditioned, there aren't any roles that really suit me"

and my dad goes "I dunno, it could be fun to see you as Seymour"

so guess what I'm going for now

#i'm doing some makeup/tech stuff in the meantime but I don't have any other cast roles until january (if i get cast that is) #i mean i kinda doubt i'm gonna get it bc i'm an afab punk and definitely not a quiet geeky guy #but hey the wonders of acting. and i can be a pretty good chameleon when i want to #and if nothing else it'll be fun to try. i've never had a lead role in anything so might as well shoot for it #plus hey they listen to me talk about superheroes or star wars for more than thirty seconds and realize i was a supergeek all along #community theatre #little shop of horrors

[foxgirlmoth]

I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.

Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.

Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;

#Not to be too gay but I wanna build my life with my princess more and more #She's. So good to me and she's so pretty and she's so beautiful and attentive and she listens to me in ways I feel no one else has #She understands me so well!! And I hopefully make her feel the same #But yeah I've been a burden a lot to people due to autism (which I didn't know I had for fucking ages) adhd and physical disabilites #And she feels like she isn't taking care of me which is good because I'd honestly hate that #But she understands me and makes me a better person and that's exactly what I've wanted for forever. #And being demi/aspec is awesome with her since she's aspec too and there's no pressure for sex or sexy times but if we both want it #It can still be super fun!! We gotta figure more of that stuff out if we want but knowing each others kinks (and sharing a good bit) rocks #Idk its so so so so easy to love my wife Maxie #She's so dear to me and we've only been dating for 4 months but they've been 4 months I've felt the most alive and seen #Its so easy to be cringe but free with her too idk #She makes me better and I hope I do the same for her. I don't want either of us to stagnate yknow? #But anyways yeah this is just a big journal entry of some kind I might do these every once and a while #Not to like. Brag??? I guess. Or show my mental illness so much. Its just kind of nice if friends know where I'm at in my life I guess #And idk having outside input on thoughts can be good. If any friends see this and go 'Hey Runa this is real weird maybe tone it down' #I can look at that stuff a bit more #Gonna tag this in a way I can find it and others in the future too #Runa diary logs #But yeah you're not hearing this from me but I wanna be with Maxine for the foreseeable future more than anything. #Gotta get my degree and a good job too and she's ofc not the only person in my life (I have Sara who is so very dear to me too ;w;) #Nor is she the only 'goal' I have either. I wanna make games I wanna make art. I wanna make something that other trans people #And queer people and just minorities in general can look at or play or experience and just go. Life is worth living #I love my life right now and I'm so glad I've made it to my late 20's. #Its only uphill from here :3 #Wanna add on when I say she's not the only person in my life I mean that I have so many friends and people I love who love me too :3 #♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[todayisafridaynight]

the only real major difference between rgg and y7 arakawa's wardrobe is how he wears his coat + bling and the scarf but it's such a difference

#snap chats #like with jo it's pretty much an entirely difference guy not just design but personality wise (borrowing from the previous still tho obvi) #but masumi just tones it down in y7....... #'snap what got you thinkin a this. and why are you tapping yuor keyboard so fuckin aggressively?????' #FIRST OFF i'm COLD. fun fact after my dad decided to confront my mom bout cheating he had to sleep in the basement for months #before he moved of course. and now im really grasping how awful that must have been #LIKE BEING BOOTED TO THE BASEMENT FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG SUCKS ANYWAY BUT god im freezing #ironic... im down here cause i dont want to see my ma.... history repeats im just like my father etc etc ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT #SORRYYYYYYY MAIN POINT TIME. SORRY. MAIN POINT. #i wanted to draw arakawa with his rgg outfit more. like i already dick around with daigo's outfit when i draw him #it wouldnt even be dicking around if i did it for arakawa... just choosin to draw the previous outfit #at the very least i might steal the barcelets and his shirt because his rgg shirt is a different style #also it's more open. PEEPAW. #i totally forgot to mention on the last time i drew his outfit #but if you saw me using the same purple and pink i use for jo no you didnt. but you did look at it right now #every time i think of rgg arakawa's outfit though i just hear mirror b's theme from pokemon gales of darkness #this is a compliment because mirror b is ALSO incredibly swaggy oh my god i have to listen to his theme brb #my disappointment when i grew up and found out mirror b wasn't a girl though. because for some reason i thought he was a girl #and just ignored every instance of referring to him as a guy. #alright im done being insane i have to sketch a thing then im gonna uhhhhhhhhhhhh watch stuff the rest of the night :) BYE

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#there should be a word for when youre talking around the tightness of tears #speaking against something that hurts #laughing specifically to undermine the seriousness of the statements youre voicing #the worst of both worlds. help me help me hahaha im not even joking hahaha but listen to the lies in my tone. dont focus on the words. #i want plausible deniability. but also i want u to understand my pain and give it a voice. speak it into existence because i cant say it #but if u do i might cry. that sounds hard that sounds like a lot. i kno i know. shut up. keep talking. do u think i dont feel it? i do #but if i split myself in two i can watch myself and suddenly it becomes funny. im not sure why. but i have a bad habbit of laughting at #inappropriate moments. because if its not funny then its just sad and what am i supposed to do with that? #i dunno. thats all to say my dad called bc i was looking at housing stuff and i was explaining some of the stuff im doing rn #and thats hard to talk abt without crying bc ive always been a cry bby but i didnt. and i love my parents theyre great #but they dont understand bc i havent told them all of it bc theres nothing they can do so y make them worry. and idk i also think they #think im less competent than i am. and part of that is just bc im their kid. part of that is bc there r things thst most ppl can do but i #struggle with. but its also not fun to hear: oh yeah i was surprised by how professional u sounded. or i think ur mom found u those #connections. when no. i did that. i made those things happen. i promise i can do things sometimes. but sometimes i cant. i dunno its just #it is what it is. whatever. decisions to b made. do i room with roommates for lower rent #or do i take an expensive place for a year for a single room? i dont want roommates but ill take them #i mean all the single places r like 950 at the very lowest without any utilities or anything but most r well over 1000 and like on a grad #student salary? i think not. not without losing money on net. i can deal with roommates. i have in the past. i wont b able to relax ever #but its fine. ya kno #just annoying. hah my dads sage advice was ah dont let it overwhelm u. go exercise. bc hes an endurance runner guy #and im like bro when i get home i have 1.5 hrs of daylight. but alas hes right. i do gotta run out my angers and its not enough #ugh. one more week. itll work out. and eventually ill walk into a counselors office like bro i just want u to tell me whether or not i have #0cd bc whatever the fuck it is that makes me do these things is absolutely destroying me. name the beast 0cd or 0cpd. tell me what box #i fit into. not that it matters but i feel like i cant complain until someone else rubber stamps me. actually then ill probably just obsess #abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times #i gotta shake shake shake my sillies out. and wiggle my waggles away. bc i never could let my kids songs go haha #unrelated

[mothram]

#diana's music diary #good arfternoon I feel pretty nice today despite some nausea and brain fuzziness n.n #don't know what I'll be doing today... I might draw since yesterday I finished writing what I needed to... #I had the idea to do drawings for said writing which might be a fun idea... will have to see... I was visualizing as I wrote so... #it would translate well I think... whether or not I do full drawings or phone doodles remains to be seen... #I think the messiness of drawing on my phone would fit but I think I could do some neat visual stuff if I do a full thing idk... #wouldn't want to waste the idea on just phone drawings but I guess I could do a practise run on that or something #I'm rambling a bit... anyway yeah yesterday was writing listening to this album and spending time with my partner... so I feel v v good #this album always brings me to tears.. you can feel every ounce of emotion in the music.. it leaves my heart pounding and me breathless... #Jvne is such a good artist... might honestly be my fav... I hope she is okay after everything... it makes me sad thinking about it all... #love you friends... let's make today good...

[quietwingsinthesky]

You really have no idea how long it takes to make a podfic until you do it yourself

#this isn’t like a jab or anything it’s an observation. #the same way someone might look at a finished painting and not know the hours of work behind it #unless you’ve done that yourself you know? #I stand by podfics being an important transformative work in fandom. for accessibility and for just the joy of making them. #and highly recommend giving it a try to really understand how much work goes into giving you fanfic audiobooks lmao #but actually okay you don’t need to try I have some numbers right here if you’d prefer #so uh the one I’m working on now. it’s a fic about 1.7k words long. #which was about ~22 minutes of recording. the recording is the easiest shortest and. usually the most fun part. because saying words is fun #but anyway that 22 minutes got edited down to around the final runtime of 13 minutes. #(this is before I go through it again to see if I should re-record a line or two.) #(usually only do that if something got Monumentally messed up because it’s sometimes hard to make two different recording sessions sync up #and sound similar enough to not throw the listener off. for me anyway. I’m not the greatest editor rip.) #anyway so. 13 minutes of podfic. #so want to guess how long the first round of editing took? #about an hour. give or take. #this stuff is time consuming! worth it! but time consuming. #so what im saying is if you see podfics that are multiple hours long. salute your troops.

[waywardsalt]

drawing is difficult for me and writing is something i’m considerably better at sooooo…

written list of ideas i have for a humanoid design for bellum bc i think im finally zeroing in on something after a few uhhh years of brainstorming

(if you read this and have like. some ideas you want to share or some possible [constructive] criticisms go ahead and share them if you want)

Not actually properly humanoid; he can take on a fully human look but it isn’t his default and requires a bit more energy

Therefore, he usually lacks ears (they’re just. holes), finger or toe nails, a navel, an adam’s apple, or basically any kind of human detail that could be easily overlooked at first glance (maybe leaning into a bit uncanny?). He does have these traits when he actually puts the effort in to pass as human

The traits shared between his usual humanoid form and the more explicitly human form are: an eyepatch over his left eye (he doesn’t have a left eye or eye socket in either form. it’s like one-eyed willy in goonies), yellow hair (actually the same color as link’s), a lack of a nose (effectively like it’s been torn off, just leaving the nostril lines/openings), and a lot of large scars pretty much everywhere (some are just normal looking scars, like one across his face that looks like items from a wound that cost him his nose, while others vaguely resemble the markings on his body when he’s in demon/normal form), so either way he’s going to draw attention

In his usual form (more obviously nonhuman) his left eye is his usual black and orange eye, and he has sharp teeth, but he can switch those to appear more human if he’d like

He’s below the average height and appears to be only slightly muscular, logically more built for flexibility or with the build of a dancer, but his demonic strength remains, though his speed and flexibility is limited by the form he takes

His hair is a mess and mostly short, and if he’s in the more demonic-leaning human form, it’s usually got streaks of black (black is in there in some way, how it appears is still a wip) in all of the yellow

Clothing can vary but most commonly he chooses something loose and casual, he doesn’t particularly value his clothes and doesn’t really have anything to hide and so pick stuff that won’t drag him down or get snagged in a fight, flimsy loose clothes are good

Other times he’ll wear boots and gauntlets and gloves in a more serious context, usually opting for designs and materials similar to what he gives his phantoms, he doesn’t fully lean into the phantom-style of armor or fighting unless he needs to focus on defense, however

In either of his human forms, he’s still capable of fighting (and in his more demonic form he can use his tentacles, the come from his back), and doesn’t so much as have a fighting style as he generally just kills with whatever seems most convenient or entertaining at the time, ranging from creating a weapon for himself to use to just bashing a guy’s skull in with his bare hands

He’s very violent but can talk just fine and can be just about eloquent if he wants but usually leans into being more chaotic and acting the part of a brutal ruffian if the job can be completed using force, so a lot of the time he doesn’t even bother with looking explicitly human most of the time

He greatly prefers his demonic form and uses the human form for specific reasons, and can’t actually use it if he’s too weak

#bellum height is weird bc my idea of a tall/short ph realted character got skewed bad when i decided linebeck is 6’ 8” #now that im writing this out ive realized that im reasoning thst bellum’s human form looks the way it does to lure in prey yknow #he tries to look normal and friendly and unassuming and then he fucking kills you brutally or just by turning you to stone #it’s less like. gijinka or whatever and more just a form he can temporarily take if he wants and half of the time doesnt bother passing #he takes human form to more easily communicate or to directly get info from people or if he wants to do some brawling or whatever #timeline of humanoid bellum’s nose: went from vague nose shape to missing half the nose to just missing the whole nose #bellum having the same hair color as link is something i use to my advantage. he absolutely abuses looking related to link #im mostly having fun with his human design but it is something i need to figure out bc he does use it in a lot of my aus #this is a mess but its fine just wanted to share what ideas i have bc good lord this is hard #its harder to create a design for an existing nonhuman than to just whip one up for an oc obviously but still. man #listen unconsciously assigning 21st century schizoid man as my bellum song was good and bad at the same time #amazing vibes for this character fantastic now i have to work on the now-inherent prog/jazz rock vibes bc that doesnt fit the setting #also mixed dirty little animals in there so now we’ve got this crude and raucous scrappy demon who starts bar fights to bare-handedly kill #this kinda just turned into 'bellum w/ a human form headcanons' but ig its hard to talk abt visuals without. visuals #he changes depending on au cuz its the idea of like. immortal being learning from and adapting to their changing surroundings kinda thing #i think my personal fears abt this stuff is that then bellum comes off as v. like. edgy #also might be a bit of over-designing or whatever but idk???? accepting constructive criticism for a reason #loz #legend of zelda #phantom hourglass #bellum #salty talks #really putting this out there huh. ew. lol. #shoutouts to bellum's human form and my oc damien fletcher for finally getting somewhat stable designs after actual years

[kendev]

first post..

#car alarm 🚨 #at march 15... 5:55AM... well cheers to new beginnings and progress i suppose #still not really sure how to go about showing what i want here without showing too much OR losing steam.... #well i guess its a good place to outline it right here... #1) will be doing devlogs. like i did on patreon. tho tbh i had no one there to see them at the time so updates came to a halt.... #can start doing those again tho since it did keep me on track with working for awhile... #2) may share wips and progress stuff like sprites. chibis or potential promo ideas. not sure abt ingame cgs or bgs yet tho #cuz then yknow. giving away a bit abt certain things. but i'll see... it really will just be an in the moment decision kinda thing #times like this i wish tumblr had the spoilering option like twt/disc does cuz then at least ur makin a conscious choice to unspoiler yknow #3) and finally. still not sure on this but might share some situations/scenarios or text post edits ive made of characters? #i think theyre fun... they help me flesh out the characters more... i am my own first supporter with fan content fr #additionally: not rlly a guideline. i have these little spotify playlists of the charas i made that i listen to when i write? might share? #might not? just a glimpse into my dark sick and twisted reality of how i both view the characters and see what i think they would listen to #anyways thats it for now #im out 🚪🚶🏿‍♀️

[toonfinatic]

Ok speaking of creepypasta, i was one of those kids that LOVED anything related to horror or cryptids or paranormal and actively seeked content that would scare the Shit out of me and then had trouble sleeping and being alone at home

Like i was absolutely terrified of smiledog but searched the picture on purpose every once in a while and then when i tried to sleep the picture would be fresh in my mind and make me unable to sleep. Stupidest idiot of all time

#i still very often listen to stuff on youtube that will make me a bit spooked #i just really enjoy that feeling of being scared. it makes me feel very alive! i love rollercoasters for the same reason #a little bit of adrenaline is awesome #its not fun always like its 3am and you cant stop thinking about a ghost story you listened to on youtube #but even thats kinda funny looking back #I LOVE HORROR i dont get horror fans that dont get scared. what do they get out of horror then. whats the point #i need to be scared a little in a controlled environment every once in a while its fun its great!! #i just want to go on a roller coaster again sighhh #honestly i think this all might be some undiagnosed adhd shit

[ghostprinceiii]

"You're going to need a compelling reason to gain entry to Inazuma..."

My compelling reason is I need wood from there to make a purple bed for my teapot house.

#ghostprince posts #Genshin Impact #videogames #Very behind on story stuff obviously but after several days of avoiding it I finally finished the Dainslief quest (by using Amber to solo a #Ruin Hunter. Took forever but I'm proud of her) saw the Lumine reveal and now we're finally on our way to the next region! #Gonna be 2024 by the time I get to Sumeru since I still want to 100% Mondstat and Liyue + I don't wanna do the regions out of order/go to #Sumeru without it being time for it in the story. I've already technically done some stuff out of order since I did the Chasm before #Dainslief's quest and event cutscenes + character stories have been on a timeline thats innacurate to me + assumed knowledge of events/ #characters/regions/etc that I don't (/canonically) have. #We're sort of getting on track though! #Glad I stopped playing this game when I did since it was causing problems for me. But also wish I'd started again sooner cuz I've missed so #much. But also glad I started again now since it gave me another chance to pick up where I left off in getting my favourite character and #being able to play as him has made this a lot of fun for me outside of the story elements. So... one step at a time in trying to just #enjoy myself at my own pace and hopefully ward off the stress of missing out on various limited-time events/rewards/characters. #+ I'm maybe in a bit of a better position to self-regulate what the problem was in the first place now? Let's assume I'm 'more mature'? #I have a lot of issues but I'm... maybe not working on them but I guess trying to not be overcome by some specific ones? And also trying to #stop spamming the discord server with updates about my every move in this game or go off about it to anyone who's willing to pretend they'r #listening ahaha. Trying to be less annoying basically. Might start talking outloud to the cat again. But! For now: New region that I #actually haven't seen any of the gameplay or visuals of (I don't think) so this should be interesting! #And purple :) #This has been my videogame update on Tumblr.com

[bmpmp3]

and you will listen to my halfway unmixed vocal synth covers. you will. my final message (dies in your arms)

all the virvox guys in voicevox humming! yume no tobira piano ver vsqx by leah ocarina and the instrumental is by 友紀!

#wip #vocal synth #voicevox humming #i will never stop posting unfinished covers!!!! never!!!!! #hfkjdjgskfdsd in my defense its because i get like 90% done a cover pretty fast #and then that last 10% takes me MONTHS HDJFKSJFS #and i have a feeling im gonna be messing around with these dynamics for. a while LOL #so listen to how it is now~ its not bad for someone who doesnt know what they're doing <3 #i think some love live songs might be particularly good for voicevox humming like specifically the more 00s idol-y sounding ones #like some earlyish u's ones and such. because like theyre great and fun songs but theyre also #like less focused on super fancy voicework and more focused on like. charm. probably because they werent sure if it the #franchise was even gonna take off that much at the time and they were working with limited budgets and just kinda #figuring it all out? obvs there was so much talent front the get go. but in different areas #dance comedy acting singing pr etc. some vocalists had a lot of experience and some didnt have as much #so theres like this like. charmingly clumsy edge to some of the songs. less worry about pure vocal talent #and more focus on sounding like ur a cute anime character having the time of ur life LOL #in general thats been a big focus of the sound of the franchise -> sounding like ur having fun and #filled with passion above all else. which is why i think these songs might work for these guys pretty well! #(although u can definitely hear the noise. and how much these guys HATE su zu and tsu HJKSHJDS they're doing their best) #my beloved off-key makeshift boyband LOL you have to be nice to them. they're speaking synths pretending to be singing synths <3 #dont ask how the lyrics about youth (seishun) pertain to the 50 year old man. its okay. dont bother him #also no tuning credits cuz. u cant tune in voicevox. so its all just the program LOL i thought about doing pitch correction #in fruity loops or smthng but i am le tired so i didnt <3 its part of the charm i say now. its the charm #i did go in and mess with the vsqx to change the timing and lengths of different syllables five separate times tho LOL #but thats because there are 5 dudes and i did Not want them to sound TOO much like theyre playing back the same midi 5 whole times #even tho thats what they are doing. you know how it is with this stuff HJKSHJKFDS

[reploidbuddy]

Man sometimes I wish ao3 had some DMs

Not all the time but today absolutely

((oh my god I rambled sm in the tags I reached the 30 limit oh my GOD JFBSJCBJD

#Found this new bookbinding tutorial #one that FINALLY explains the logistics of printing the text idk why I couldnt find one before #and while my old method was extremely simple and fun the minute you have smthn a lil bigger it's hard to open #like At Hope's End is MASSIVE for the simpler technique #and even though I knew how to play with my pages enough to make it all functional it #*it's hard to open and feels like it might break or you see the prong and idk #it's a great trophy but the functionality is meh #but yeah found an understandable tutorial on the sewing thing and I'd like to make one like this at least for At Hope's End #bc it would benefit most I think #AND SO THE POINT I WANTED TO DO WAS: #The tutorial gave the brilliant idea of putting art in some pages and stuff #and like listen I got 1 single fanart through the entire journey of Light on the Horizon #by dragonswirl on DA and insta (go look at their art btw it's pretty) #and BOY. #I LOVE IT #it was the reason I smiled all week #I showed it to anyone that had heard I write fanfic/like sonic #heck it's my phone's home screen #I go look at it sometimes randomly bc AGH IT LOOKS SOSOSO GOOD #I'll do just 1 copy of it as trophy but like a functional readable one #but I'd love to put that fanart in it #like at the beginning where in published books theres some random stuff #just put it there all like LOOK AT IT even if it'll end up being @ myself #idk I'd like to ask them if they're okay with it #and if so like actually have them know how much I love that one art and want to put it in there #IDC IF IT'S BEFORE EVEN CHAPTER ONE IT'S AMAZING AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY OK /positive /lighthearted #so yea they dont seem to have tumblr so there isn't really a mean to ask sadly #rambling #light on the horizon #at hope’s end

[tidepoolalgae]

.

#the discourse with voting in american politics is so exhausting I really don't wanna have to see all that #considered blacklisting 'vote' and 'voting' for now and I might end up doing that but i also might miss some tumblr polls #and those are a fun thing #like vote for sure there's more than one issue but the meanness toward people for being angry at the current administration is so wack #'but remember to vote blue! the democrats are more likely to listen to you! we live in a two party system you have to be realistic!' okay?? #federal dems are so annoying with their whole villain of the week charade and weaponized incompetence can you actually blame people? #imo you're better off convincing people to vote .period. instead of also taking time to shame them into voting blue #in the middle of a time where most americans disagree with the actions of the current administration #like.. is this gonna be the strategy forever?? it's exhausting to do the whole 'but the republican guy is worse!' every. single. time. #if the democrats continue to lose it will be their own fault for not choosing to stand for something #they can blame the voters all they want but maybe they should try wielding power they gain effectively? just a thought #it's tough because they do some good things but then they really drop the ball on others and you're left sitting there like wtf #luckily it does look like some people are putting their foot down.. look at that governor from kentucky that won recently #to be clear you SHOULD vote if you can it's one of your rights in this country and there's so much on ballots besides the presidential race #and it's not like who's president isn't important I'm just ranting because the 'vote blue no matter who' crowd gets on my nerves SO MUCH #the discussion IS worth having.. biden will be better on some things but also others won't change much between biden and trump #and you can't just glance over that stuff like democrats tend to do #the moral grandstanding can get so petty I'm just so tired of seeing dumb internet fights #hot take maybe idk #BLEH #I hate it here #😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 #vent #sorry if you read this and it doesn't make sense I've read too much about us politics to be normal about it

[keeps-ache]

i have two youtube accounts open as well as youtube music and each of them have a different playlist open and each playlist has like the same song in them that i keep replaying but in a different playlist

#just me hi #'why?' because i don't like scrolling to the bottom of my main playlist in ytm >:T #this thing has 200+ songs in it do you know how long it takes to load? #not long! but my patience is nonexistent for ytm lolll #+ also i keep playing the same songs even though i don't want to because i'm trying to pay attention to writing here hvfbshf #it works! but also i am So bored fshfbd #so i end up leaving the doc and sort of strolling around my computer before going back and writing 3 words. then deleting them and repeatin #i want to listen to some fun stuff but if i do that i might just completely break the thread of Focus #even though writing This has already kinda done that... hm....... #dunno! #/also want to draw right now but this is a rare moment of me actually being able to write loll #and i've gotten incredibly far! if we're referring to my personal record hdfhv #and also i don't know what i want to draw. .-. #i did a dooble page yesterday but the readability is Not great hfvs #/whyyyyyyyyyeyeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy #//i really can't tell when my tags are gonna get cut anymore like Hello !! why are they bubble-wrapped fshvs #i've said that before ik but listennn where is the Line here #//also been thinking of actually trying to make and finish an animation #i want to learn to do that but i do not like the idea of drawing the same thing 1400 times hbhvf #//OH it's gotten cooler recently!! super cool very sick :DDD #downside is that now when i run for a lil my lungs decide they're going to collapse on me for the Audacity of running in slightly chilly #weather lolll #which would be fine but man i wanna play with my siblings ffffffffvshfhh #i have to say no all the time cuz i know i won't be able to breath comfortably. sigh #which would be fine but it aggravates my cough too so ! :') #and listen. i am NOT losing a game because of some “”breathing issues“”‚ alright?? #once i'm at that point it's all or nothing. these kids are GOING down #plus side though: i am so scary playing tag because i will just walk after them and still catch up #and there is nothing more fun than going slasher mode on your siblings‚ trust me hfbhs #//okey now i'm going to finish this chapter

[autism-corner]

I have a new tattoo in mind that I think is very pretty but I have to 'be smart' and 'sit on it for a while' (according to no one but me) so rn I'm making myself wait till December :(

#if my parents approve that is. #bc this one will be at least hand-sized (palm AND fingers) and on my forearm. #but im hoping to convince em by talking about how itll cover up some not-fun scars =w=bb #yippeee #its so pretty tho im very excited. #sillyposting #listen they dont know about my fishie yet. i think. and are generally pretty opposed to this stuff. so. #i sprung the fact that i was getting snakebites on em like a week in advance. #but its very hard for me to do it any earlier due to anxiety etc. #i told my mom id applied for my first (also still current) job after id done the intake interview. lol #listen its not perfect but its either that or 20x times the anxiety for me. i know which is better for me. #i dont want them to say anything negative which might cause me to not get it at all so. this is better bc they are things i want.. #yipppeee