#abt how. actually. theyre wrong. ay fun times

[jewpacabruhs]

I was reading your tags and please, for the love of God, write a Mafia AU. I haven't been able to find any good ones.

i wanna so bad! i find organized crime fascinating, & i’m also a big movie nerd, with crime films being my fav genre, so im super into that sorta thing. definitely would love to see it, but o boy, maybe ill jus write it myself?? gotta do everythin myself haha

i’d def go the historical route, so it’d be interesting to try to both apply characters that are firmly rooted in 90s/2000s behaviors & beliefs, and stick them in the 1900s. oh, boy, writing historical stuff is a pain. so much research. worth it tho, if it’s done well. aye, and it’ll be cool to try to keep it as nonfictional as possible. like, attempting to insert the kids (as adults, obvs) into crime history. i wonder if i could do tht? it’d be fun. it’s definitely uncharted waters. there’s a lot of potential there.

but, hmm, i think mafia aus are so rare in fandom (not just the sp fandom, but across the board) bc they contradict everything that’s popular in fanfic. mob aus would feature violence, business, finances, and corruption. whereas fics prefer cuddles, leisure time, a world where money aint an issue, and wholesomeness. and considering the majority of fic is written by horny and/or love-starved teenage girls who dont know or care about the aforementioned subjects, it makes sense. kinda a bummer, but understandable. in the defense of like everyone, lmao, those sorta fics take a lot of planning, & aint nobody got time. so i get it.

oof i think a major thing too is how gay-centric fic/fandom is, when the mobster world is undeniably a heterosexual one. thats an issue. shit, i wonder how many gay characters i could get away with while keeping it realistic. i mean, im sure there were gay mobsters, in fact i’ve read about a couple, but the lifestyles did not go hand in hand, lol.

IM STUPID NO ONE CARES ABT THIS DUMB SHIT HERES IDEAS

i’m thinking 1940s new york. im inclined towards kyman, as u probs kno, but again, the gay thing. huh. maybe i can figure it out. maybe theyre young bachelors, and theyre business partners & fuck around sometimes. we’ll see. anyway. if we’re gonna include all characters….

cartman would pull a goodfellas - he’s of, what, german descent? hell, considering his parents, he probably wouldn’t even exist in this universe. eh. well. he’d def be from yorkville, manhattan, cuz tht was a german neighbourhood. anyway he’d weasel into the italian mob, bc he’d be into the idea of 1) exorbitant amounts of money, and 2) being feared/respected. his authoritah! psh. and someone would notice how smart he is & mentor him, regardless of nationality. he’d quickly make enemies, though, because he’s rude & brash. he’d also quickly become one of the most respected young dons (would he reach that level, without a family? doubt it. he’d have to become a made man, which i believe is reserved exclusively for italians ….. ehhhh ill figure it out. maybe he’d branch out, start his own crime family. that’d be interesting. ooo.) damn, ukno, i think the 40s would make a real interesting character out of cartman. huh. yah, that’d be cool to explore, how that time period would shape him. like i said, he likely wouldt even exist. did the denver broncos exist back then? doubt it

kyle would get wrapped up in the jewish mob (which existed, and which i’d personally l o v e to be a part of lol - if i was born 100 years ago), maybe while trying to protect ike from getting involved? that’d be cool. maybe he’d demonstrate his brains & be offered a job as an accountant or an attorney, and he’d be forced to comply, either bc 1) his fam was threatened if he declined, or 2) his fam was doing bad financially & needed it. maybe both. hell, maybe he avoids the jewish mob & gets involved with the others. MAYBE IKE IS THE ONE IN THE JEWISH MOB & WANTS HIS BROTHER BACK FROM THE ITALIANS. OOOOOOOOO also they’d be from brooklyn, likely, bc that’s where jews were primarily located back then. u kno there was 400k jews in new york in 1899?? including my great great great grandparents. that’s a shit ton of jews lol. lil fun fact for ya. 

wait ok so oof this is hard now, bc the mob was primarily divided into three chunks - the italians, the jews, & the irishmen. there was also the puerto ricans, but that was, like, a different division. i’m mentioning this because nationality was important to mobsters, to all organized crimes groups actually, but south park doesn’t make a habit of mentioning what countries each character’s ancestors came from, lol. so it’d be a lot of writer interpretation. and that’s cool and all, but doesn’t give me much to work with, considering most of the kids are white and likely german/england-descended. 

i could make kenny & butters irish. that’d work. i think kenny’s last names irish, actually. they could be from hell’s kitchen, which had a p hefty irish-american population. maybe i could make stan irish, too. wendy might be able to pass for italian (little italy manhattan??? maybe the bronx??? im tryna think geography lol. for scale.). that’d work, if i wanted to put some stendy in there, bc i love making stan the token het guy, haha. maybe wendys dad marries her off to stan to form an alliance between the italians & irish. that’d be interesting. maybe cartman was rallying to get wendy to marry him, bc he needed to marry someone bc of, like, societal expectations, & she was the only girl who caught his interest. maybe he declares war on stan, to win back the bride he wants. maybe kyles best friends w stan, tht happened somehow, & interjects. goes to meet cartman to discuss a way out - ohhhhh theres my kyman babay!!! oooooo!!!

omg. plot forming. this is def an interesting concept. maybe i can use it as a chance to write a plot-oriented fic that doesn’t rely heavily on ships. that’d be awesome. i’ve wanted to do that for ages.

maybe we can squeeze christophe in as a french immigrant, maybe an associate of someone. same with gregory, but, like, british. that’d be fun. craig & tweek can be somewhere in there, too. associates of cartman or something. maybe they own a brothel. oooh. who else. bebe! maybe she can be a cabaret dancer who someone falls for. nothin wrong w hetero nonsense if it’s done right & if it aint nonsense. yah? maybe she can be ken’s love interest. also maybe token & nichole can be in there somewhere, from harlem?

this sounds fun as fuck, though, def. im really obsessed with new york right now, so maybe writing this could be a love letter to its history. that’d be dope. ooh, and im from las vegas actually, born & raised, so maybe i could do a chapter set there, considering the mob was very influential in the strip’s development. that’d be rad. holy heck. im excited abt this now. gotta finish oboitd asap & get into this, haha.

o shit. i jus realized, like, just how much research i’d have to do. like, not only about organized crime, abt 40s slang & dress, abt new york, abt everything. oooh boy this is a Project

ill get on that eventually haha, im into it now. it’s 4am rn tho so ima sleep, gnite anon

#anon #fics #ref #save

[ceceliapegasus]

girl excessively bitter, no one cares

lmao so im just high key bitter abt my relationshits in life, u read tht right, and im just here to complain yet again

aye i made dat b on my tests doeeeeeeeee

so my childhood “friends” which i will refer to as “childhood friends” for the sake of clarity, and everything will be fact unless stated otherwise

-did not invite me to go to a con the first year they started going when literally everyone else was invited

-second year i coincidentally met them walking down the hall and suggested we hang sometime, to which 2 people turned and ignored that i was present, the present boyfriend, one whom i did not know, texting on his phone bored-ed-ly ( ? ) and the girl promptly replying to my “oh! we should totally hang or something later! if you have time.” with “yeah, uh, we can hang out of my friends arent doing anything and im bored later, later!”

-excessively tries to convince me, an extreme introvert with massive social anxiety, “you just gotta put yourself out there to make friends! i’m outgoing and weird so its not hard for me to make friends! just do it!” whilst, yes, physically quoting the meme... me: “thats just really hard for me, you know? haha...i mean i try but--” them: “well that’s how you make friends so.”

-me, the year after their first con: “hey, we should totally room together! it’d be fun!” them: “oh, sorry, i already made friends at (previous con) so we’re staying with them.” me: “oh okay, next time!” them, literally: “nah, if my friends dont go i wont go”

-before spawn of their first con, them: “yeah if you need room we have some space.” me: “cool, yeah! i have a friend from out of town thats coming in so could she stay with cause she’s with me ??” them: “no, sorry, i dont trust anyone ive never met once before, even if she’s your friend, she could be a serial killer or something, you know?? haha.”

anywei the above are multiple verbal accounts of me being shut down and im just a bitter hag b/c i can deal with “nah” or “i hate you so, you cant bunk with us” or any iteration of such but being brushed off and ignored drive me up the wall to no end especially with such high hypocrisy rates i could form it into a knife and commit suicide.

AND THE POINT OF THIS SUPER REDUNDANT POST, BECAUSE GOD KNOWS IVE COMPLAINED ABOUT THIS SO SO /SO/ MANY TIMES, IS THAT IM FINALLY HITTING AX FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IM SO HAPPY BUT THIS GROUP OF PEOPLE ARE ALSO GOING TO AX AND LIKE.... I DESERVED IT FIRST ??? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLllllllllllllll

MY PARENTS FINALLY LET MY CON BAN GO PROLLY B/C IM IN SCHOOL DOING WELL BUT IM JUST SO BITTER ABOUT THESE HOES CAUSE 2 RIDE COATTAILS, ONE IS BACKED BY HIS RICH PARENTS AND THE LEAD GIRL IS ( PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE @ ME & ) AN ENABLER B/C SHE HAS THE MEANS AND THEY MAKE DISGUSTING JOKES AND HAVE NO BOUNDARIES AND UPSET ME AND THE ONLY REASON IM BITTER AND I KNOW IT IS THAT THEYRE SUCH PRIVILEGED PEOPLE WITH THE ABILITY TO DO WHAT THEY WANT WHILE IM BOUND TO MY HOME 90% OF THE TIME AND ONLY WHEN I USE THEM AS AN EXCUSE CAN I DO SOMETHING I WASNT ABLE TO BEFORE

AND I DESPISE THEM FOR IT

all of my childhood friends had older siblings that got along and connected them while i had nothing and i feel like my problems stem one from another and i just hate hearing about them and how they’re all together 100% of the time and doing shit together and going places together and “why dont you hang out with them” “because i wasnt invited” “invite yourself!” “how do i invite myself to something i didnt know existed” AND ITS OBVIOUS MY PRESENCE WASNT REALLY WANTED ? IF I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE and their con/cos start was for all the wrong reasons and i know just b/c something started out “not good” doesnt mean anything /now/ but all i do is think and hate and nobody hates them or knows these things that murder my emotions and stability from the inside and it kills me inside that i can be insulted and pushed aside so easily by them low-key but its not a thing i can just tell people and have them share my self-pushed hatred because its not right and its just a thing that happend conicidentally with a snowball effect to me only because of how we related and these people are jUST so popular in the community and so well known and i encounter them ridiculously too often for people who OBVIOUSLY ? want nothing to do with me b/c nobody in god’s name uses your friend is an actually possible murderer when there are 30 other excuses or ill ttyl if im bored and alone lmao or im just fucking stupid, who goddamn knows

i dont think they realize they did these things to me in hindsight and its so awkward i try so hard to be friendly and relate and shit but im still so awkward and theyve known me so long it doesnt really slide where new people are “so happy” and “youre cute” but so im just extra baggage who talks to thin air and gets to go out impromptu during get togethers btwn our parents when its a requirement to drag me out somewhere so they dont look bad ( and this also adds fuel to my fire ) and like i try to be nice and i always get really sarcastic answers to realistic, hopeful questions and theyre literally always in the neighborhood but i just , dont get it honestly lol

this pointless situation literally causes 35% of my stress levels and it consumes me because i have no ways to cope--nobody to vent to, no “regular con friends,” no freedom, nothing. im probably gonna give myself ulcers but i mean if i dont who will lmao

my life is honestly just a moot point and i just want people to like me and enjoy my company and be with me etc etc and i feel like im close to that buts its like 1 step forward and 2 steps back kinda job and im just LOL

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anyway better question after the 40m it took me to cry abt this bullshit: if i only have a carry on what the fuck cosplays should i bring to AX.....i only realized today that i have like 3 school uniform cosplays with gray blazers of different design omf

#ami pls stfu #u dont wanna read this tbh lmao