#i want to leave the job im im because i dont like it

[the-kestrels-feather]

Anyone else have big dreams and no idea how to realistically achieve them and a fear of inadequacy so they're worried they're going to stagnate in their current situation because they're too afraid to leave it or is that just me?

#personal #inferiority complex #i have so much shit i want to do #i want to leave the job im im because i dont like it #i want to be using my degree for mkre than i am #i want to be working full time in theagre and/or film #and i keep applying for jobs and just get every door slammed in my fucking face every time #and now im almost 26 so i have to worry about any job i *do* take offering insuramce #and the job im in right now 'much as i hate it has insirance for when i turn 26 #and I'm afraid to leave because of that even though they don't even pay me a livable wage #if i wasn't living with my parents I'd probably be homeless or have 0 savings #and its not like i can really say fuck it and quit and move somewhere more conducive to what I want to do because I have savings #because I need a job somewhere that can pay me enough to support rent and has insurance and those are in short supply #i just feel like shit #i feel like im stuck in this rut and don't know how to get out of it and am never gonna get out #im just exhausted

[trans-estinien]

people really love to conveniently forget trans men exist when they talk about feminism. or if they dont they make us out as also part of the problem as if we somehow are able to have the same amount of privilege as cis men. absolutely wild

#“not all men” is a valid statement because its fucking true #like guys. seriously. not every single man is evil #feminism isnt about putting men down its about raising women up to be equal and getting rid of gender inequality #sorry im seeing a massive uptick in people hating on trans men for being men lately and its fucking stupid #like yall are doing a great job at making me feel ashamed to be a man who likes men. awesome thanks guys #i dont normally make posts like this but its been rattling around in my mind for a few days now #its always put out like. all men (trans or not) are Inherently Evil and all women (trans or not) are Inherently Victims #which is absolutely the stupidest shit ive ever seen #and they also leave out anyone who doesnt fit into the man/woman dichotomy. and if they dont its always seen as woman lite #which is also stupid as fuck #not every nb/agender/other person is feminine asshole #anways. case in point. can we stop demonizing masculinity while also discussing the effects of misogyny and the patriarchy please. #because both of those things are very real and very much do hurt people #but im sick of people lashing out at trans men as if the problem magically doesn't affect us anymore because we are men #because guess what! newsflash! it affects trans AND cis men too!! #i shouldnt have to explain it should be obvious but like. im tired man #sorry ill forever be annoyed at women who just hate every single man who dares breathe in their direction because they COULD be an asshole #if you hate someone because of their gender no matter what gender it is i Do Not Trust You #anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk. replies are off cause i dont want to argue with people i just want to express my opinion

[terrorbirb]

I'm bored at work so I'm seeing if I should report my old company for violating labor standards.

#totes bro #im so close but it is so obvious it would be me because i used to complain about this all the time #they dont inform their immigrant workers of their rights and so they dont like understand how their timecard works #and thr company advises them to take the least expensive insurance policy because they 'are healthy and don't need it' #but i know one couple wants fertility treatments but couldnt afford it because of that #they dont have the required posters #they also knowingly continue osha violations which i held a meeting over and was told this doesnt apply to us #which uhm it says it does on the Web site so i disagree #all of this is like why i left and what caused me to leave #and literally lying to me and another guy that we would get promotions for the work we did #and then they hired someone else to do the job making our promotions unnecessary and they were like hmmmm sorry #idk they like got a ton worse and i think the president got more reactionary which caused this #not sure how many of these count but thats not for me to decide anyway #oh and cleanliness standards but i actually fixed a lot of those..... fulfilling the role that promotion role that was promised #my coworkers here are like 'absolutely report the hell out of that place' because we do code violations lol #every time i say something they go 'that could be a violation :)' #they paid someone on a salary basis when they were under the salary pay and therefore should have gotten overtime

[sonknuxadow]

im generally not a fan of the idea of any of the early 2000s sonic games being remastered because i think those games not having the most updated looking graphics or the best voice acting ever is part of the charm i dont want them to be changed to look and sound exactly like every other sonic game thats come out in the past 14 years

#leave sonic heroes ALONEEEE #also when it comes to character voices i tend to prefer the voices from either back then or from the 4kids cast #we do not need those older games with perfectly good voice casts being downgraded like that come on #(no hate to the current cast though theyre just doing their jobs and i do like a lot of the voices. most just arent my favorite) #though when they remastered colors they didnt re record the voice acting #and when they made an animated short to go along with it they brought back tails' va from back then #so maybe they would try to avoid recasting everybody #some recasts would be unavoidable though if they tried to record any new stuff for it #because for colors only 1 voice actor was different from the current cast but for heroes its 13 different characters #and also eggmans va from back then died unfortunately. and tails and charmy were voiced by actual kids who are much older now #but its mostly just a few specific performances that i dont want recorded over by newer voices i like a lot less #i dont know why they have to remaster the 3d games in order to re release them anyway .. #why cant you just make a port with minimal changes #again this is assuming that the sonic heroes remaster rumors are even true . which im assuming theyre not im just talking hypothetically

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[kaiserin-erzsebet]

.

#i try not to complain that much about podcasts on the first episode #but i cannot believe this one led with speaking about curating a world famous medical oddities museum like its a dead end job #like lady if you dont want that job then leave and let a historian of science or medicine who would love that collection do it #it doesnt help that im quite familiar with the museum theyre talking about #and its such a monumental part of the history of 19th century scienxe #it's actually an incredibly valuable collection that makes people uncomfortable because It's 19th century collections of bodies #which comes with a lot of complicated curitorial questions about consent and colonialism and race #but that doesnt make it a spooky sideshow #which seems to be what the writers think historical medical collections are

[milf-harrington]

where im at mentally these days: my mum hugged me and said im doing a good job and i burst into tears <3

#i mean it was a little more fleshed out than that #i asked for a hug and she asked if i was okay and i didnt say anything so she said something about me feeling like #untethered. just kind of floating through life. and i said yeah. and she told me im doing a good job like. getting through the day basically #and i cried about it because i dont even know why its so hard #and i feel so shitty all the time because i just feel like a shit person like i dont try hard enough with my nephew #and hes so little and so smart and im so awful and every day im worried hes going to stop liking me bc im still learning how to be. gentle. #because i grew up with yelling and a locked pantry and an older sister who had to raise me #so i dont know how to not yell and not escape into my own world when i cant be bothered #and i have really good days and really terrible days and hes not a Job hes my nephew and i want to treat him like my nephew #and it feels so selfish to say im tired and that its hard and stressful and i dont know what im doing #bc my sister has to do it too and she doesnt get breaks like i do #she doesnt get to just decide to leave for the night - and i mean i dont do that but i have the option #and everyone keeps. like. telling me im doing good and im helpful and my sister especially tells me often shes grateful for me #and it makes me feel Awful bc i feel like i dont do enough and that the stuff i DO isnt good enough and just argh #anyway #vent over i need to go to bed its 1am and i have to get up in 5 hours #captain speaks

[astrogenica]

people claim to understand that progress isn't linear and recovery can take a long time until it becomes personally inconvenient to them and then you're just a stupid lazy bastard to them no matter how you behaved before you became outwardly sick or how hard you've been trying to get better. and i will be mad about that forever

#text post #vent #venting #vent post #chronic illness #mental illness #progress is not linear #recovery takes time #ive only been diagnosed and trying treatments for my autoimmune disease for 1yr #ive been sick for closer to 5 #i just got covid for the second time in january and its fucked up all the progress #that i was making #and now rather than try to support me through a major setback #everyone is acting like i just dont have my shut together and im not trying #meanwhile i am doing my best to keep up when walking a single flight of stairs is still hard for me #and there are very few people who meaningfully recognize how hard this is for me #i used to work three jobs while going to school full time seeing my family frequently #AND having a social life and maintaining my ltr #now im married yeah but i only do one wfm full time job barely engage with my hobbies #see my family and friends infrequently and tbh barely leave my house #and its not for any lack of wanting to #its because i CANT #and even fewer people are making am efforts to accommodate me #so i force myself to occasionally go out and see people #and then need to recover for two weeks #and they dont even appreciate how HARD it is #so much of the effort disabled put into their interactions with abled or just differently #disabled loved ones goes completely unnoticed because its expected as the bare minimum another can do #but rhe bare minimum to them is the absolute best you yourself can give #and nobody cares

[eternal-brainrot]

Broke my streak of not crying at work lol B)

#help i am hiding in the back becausw the only other pwrson on shift is mad at me for messing up an order lol #cant figure how to turn on the dishwasher because ive never had to turn it on before but if i ask him hell be pissed cuz hes the only one on #the coffee machine so cant leave it #a customer tried to be nice and hrlp me eith something but that just made it so much worse cuz like im not doing my job properly #20 mins until someone i know comes on shift who i can ask for help from but idk wjat to do until then brcause i cant do the washing and the #other guy doesnt want me on till and i cant go on till until ive pulled myself together and stopped crying :/ #this is so embarrassing #luckily i dont think my coworker noticed but im like 90% sure some of the customers did fuck

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#theres this feeling i get sometimes. i find it very hard to articulate. its part despair and part awe. dispair at how beautiful the world is #all those intricate little process coming together to organize the chaos. i dont kno y i feel it so deeply or y it hurts so much #because its just. no matters what horrible things r going on in the world. ur body is this miraculous collection of chemicals and reactions #mobile containers of water with a history that spirals back billions of years. and you can hear and see and experience and reflect #and when you die the world goes on spinning without you. if we as humans destroyed this planet past the part of our ability to inhabit it #it wouldnt even matter. there would be continued life past humanity. cosmically we r tiny and insignificant and we dont matter #but were beautiful and wonderful and infinity complex and knowing that leaves me in agony. because i want to kno everything right now but #mind is too small and i walk around with the disorientation of someone whos just been hit in thr face ans i cant focus enough to read #cant make the words make sense and i cant justify the time it would take to try. so i sit on my deck. in the sun. crying as i think about #how the light hit the grass in my front yard the last time i was home. how the cliffs in the backyard are ringed with red lines of iron #separated out as the water leached through the sandstone. how every avaliable surface is stained green as organisms reach upward toward #the sun. and its beautiful and i dont kno y im crying. maybe its bc i cant just throw everything aside and chase that feeling. im not #allowed to feel it. im not allowed to talk abt it in the way i want. bc im afraid no one cares as much as me in the same way. bc when i #talk abt what i study its obscure and academic and so far from what most ppl think abt that they get intimidated and dont try to understand #so i just try not to talk abt it. or maybe im just afraid. bc i have my 1st TA meeting tomorrow and i meet with my new advisor friday #and im worried and im afraid i wont b able to do this in a way that doesnt make me feel like im dying. bc i like to b busy and i like having #a strict schedule but if u throw me that knife im going to stab myself with it bc i dont kno how wield it as a tool without hurting myself #sure ill get the job done. but at what cost? whatever. ill try to b better this time. try to hold tight to the wonder. but that feels like #reaching out into forever. knowing ill never make contact. not knowing what im reaching for. #the closest approximation to the feeling i can find is that scene in the terror. where go0dsir is asking if god is there. any god. and it #doesnt matter bc he can see god in the landscape. in an environment that's so harsh and barren that its killing him slowly in the worst of #ways and its beautiful. its still beautiful to him. there is wonder here. and im wasting my time laying in a dark room crying bc i put #myself into a container so constrictive that the surface snaps and i come spilling out as an angry liquid. smearing away into nothing #unrelated

[alexanderpearce]

im having a breakdown over finishing my undergrad this year

#im NOT going straight into honours i dont want to do honours at my fucking university and i need to save money before i move so its gap year #time. i need to look into getting a job at the uni library because i literally CANNOT lose access to it in 5 months. like i cant #i use it so much. anyway i dont know who i am without uni im ngl. i dont know who i am without study #aghghghhhhh. its literally been four years and i dont wanna leave (even more insane if you know how shit my uni is) #shut up ulrike #uniposting

[yourcalamity]

that post is so true but i didnt want to add to it anyways people want you to be okay with shit they wouldnt be okay with and also will get angry at you for not going out of your way for them in ways they never have and never will for you and the absolutely most hilarious people dont care about what youre going through until theyre in the same situation and suddenly its real

#everyones a hypocrite really but like its so much more common than you think esp if you assume everyone is good #im coming to terms with the fact that most people will choose to be good when given the right circumstances and convenience #but the reality is most people exist for their own comfort. whatever that comfort is yours only matters because it contributes to theirs #its not a reason to not be a better person but it is a reason that when im struggling like i am now i am genuinely in physical danger #this shit just makes me suicidal and it makes me want someone to prove me wrong #and no one ever will because they have their own shit to worry about and i am not a priority #daily emo post but yeah. thats where im at #also people will see you insanely depressed hollow with lifeless eyes and be like you should get a new job #you should get new glasses you should fix your phone you should do xyz #idk maybe you should give me a reason to believe that yall cannot live without me because i havent fucking existed in years #maybe i should leave all my shit where i am rn and walk whatever direction until im lost forever #daily thoughts i have that i communicate and its just not a big deal dont worry dont change anything at all

[soldier-poet-king]

ofc the one day im wfh because i have a medical specialist appt i get back from the hospital to check my work email and see that one of the FEW ppl who actually talks to me at work is “no longer with [organization]” and im just??? OUT OF THE BLUE????? she wasnt contract like me???? had been at [organization] for about the same time as me and i thought shit was going well??? 

and my boss probably isnt in tmrw so theres no one to tell me what’s going on bc no one cares about the stupid child archives assistant in the basement

#franposting #yall workplace politics are wild and i work for a small mostly chill org #what is HAPPENEING #IT WAS SO SUDDEN #and in previous times when ppl have left theyve usually had pizza or a lil smthn for them #this is just #ugh. anyway #i go to work do my job all by myself and leave #tbh how i prefer it #lots of ppl are like. u have to have a certain temperament for archival work #bc it's very isolating esp in small orgs #and im like. yes. yes this is what i want #i am happy to be a department of two and do all my work on my own and self manage #i mean a larger archive would have better tech resources and id love to work in dig preservation as a specialist #and not my current jack of all trades archive work #but i do like my little lonesome corner office where no one talks to me or bothers me #that's mostly bc everyone thinks im a literal child and treats me accordingly tho #not because im unfriendly #IM TRYING. most ppl dont even know my name. I SAY HI EVERYDAY

[vosquitransitis]

jesus christ why is being an adult so scary all of the goddamn timeeeee

#like im sorry for calling technical support lady but my sink is leaking and i cant fix it #how do i tell the very friendly people from my bank that i dont want to invest in fonds with the bank because banks are evil incarnate to m #ahhh #everyone leave me alone unless it is to give me a billion dollars to do whatever i want forever #vosqui.txt #why cant their roles be switched #why cant the bank people be rude about it so i can tell them no leave me alone and the technical support be like ''oh no im sorry well send #someone to fix it right away when is it convenient for you'' #im sorry to her im sure her job sucks ass and im grateful she doesn't it but please dont be mean to meee

[summerlycoris]

Guess whos potentially working a triple tomorrow?????????

Im going to transform into my final form if this shit keeps up i swear to god.

#summerly talks #im just. gonna have to tell my boss that. effective immediately. i cant work the weekend anymore #sad because its good money #but this is becoming a fucking pattern and if it does i may actually dive into a fission reactor while singing meltdown ;_; #like. i was okay with the double? my coworker called in because her baby was sick #and she promised me if i couldnt get anyone to cover for my am shift tomorrow she would take it #then at like 9pm i get a text saying. she cant. her baby wont let her leave #and i feel selfish because. she has a baby. but i have cats and luckily i was able to drop by today to pick up my sleepover kit #and also make sure minty had food. (fieldie has an auto feeder so hes okay) #and i just. want to go home #the reality is i cant. i cant go. not unless one of the people i texted gets back to me saying theyll come in #and no one has yet. its 11pm. no one will at this point. #im tired im tired im tired #i dont want to end up like i did at my ladt job. giving away entirely too much of me and destroying myself #ive already lost most if not all of my passion for this job #and when i was younger i dreamt of working with disabled people. i burnt too quick and now im a shell of what i was #but this is the only thing im trained for that would allow me to like. keep my home #maybe if or when i move to brisbane i can look into a different job. do an it course idk. something where there's less people skills needed #i better try to get some sleep orz tonights gonna be a bitch of a thing

[transgenderdragons]

never coming home, never coming home!

extras^^^^^

#ray toro #the ghost of you #mcr #my chemical romance #i KNOW the main focus is gerard. but ray was the one HOLDING MIKEY while he DIED ok. im normal about it #it was HIS JOB to save mikey it was HIM who had to see the life leave his friend's eyes. whatever. whatverwhateverhwtaevr I DONT CARE #and now he has to deal with the weight of that. hundreds of people die in war everyday but none of them were his friends. #because that would never happen right? because when this was all over they were all gonna go out for drinks again. #they were going to laugh and cry and hold each other and be together. be whole. #and now. something's missing. someONE is missing. #and no matter what anyone says. no matter what anyone tells him. in his heart. he will always believe it was his fault... #ANYWAYS. WHO CARES NOT ME. #tried to give him a thousand yard stare sorta look thats why his eyes have so much highlight i wanted them to look very empty... #the proportions are alittle fucked bc this was originally just a sketch but i liked it enough to color it so. love wins? #the bg is an edited screenshot from the video btw #my art