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linniewrites · 11 months

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Good day ; we can fly off. | Meliodas

Meliodas x f!goddess!reader

Summary :

“Good bye, wipe off the tears

Good day, please believe in me

Wake up, the scenery is changing

Hey, we can fly off”

Words : 4,097

Warnings : crying, killing/death, fighting, language (fuck, dick, etc.).

Notes : the music always makes me cry when I hear it so I had to write something with it. i think im going to write a lot of this au where reader is Ellie’s sister, I really like it. I also think I might do modern au for nnt. Once more, let me know if you have any tips to get better. Enjoy <3

The sound of battle would always haunt you. Be it the sound of swords clashing, pained screams, grieving cries, people strategizing. All of it sounded awful, but no one you knew seemed to share your opinion, apart from your older sister. You had both understood a long time ago that as daughters of the leader of the goddess clan, you’d have no choice but to fight.

“___, look out !” You friend Nerobasta screamed at you, she had launched off towards you and eliminated the demon that had been aiming at you. You didn’t understand why though, it was only a small grey demon you easily could’ve talked off. Still, you thanked her and apologized.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it. We’re in the middle of battle, you can’t just zone off and risk both your life and the life of others !”

“Yeah, I know. And seriously, I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s up with me today.”

“I don’t know either but it doesn’t matter, focus.” Just like that she was gone, off to kill more demons.

“Jeez, what’s wrong with her today ?”

“Maybe Ludociel told her to stop sucking his dick ?” Elizabeth had settled next to you, and had her hands on her hips, eyes looking straight at the pink haired goddess.

“Ellie ! Don’t be so crude !” A group of demons came over to the two of you and started talking about how disgusting goddesses were and how they would bring your heads back to their princes as gifts. You and Elizabeth simply shrugged them off, trying to continue your conversation, if those demons wanted to attack you, you’d fight back, if they didn’t, you’d let them be. They finally decided to attack you, or at least they tried. Two of them went to you and your sister, they seemed pretty weak, one was a short weird ochre color demon and the other one was a taller copper one. You simply set off your feet to avoid them, but copper one tried to grab your feet which only resulted in both his arms exploding from a small Ark you had invoked.

“What, I’m sure it’s true. If someone was following me like that all the time I’d kill them.” Elizabeth closed the palm of her right hand, and with that, the core demon was no more. Literally, not even dust was left from its body. “Oh, look at these two.”

“And look at their friends, somewhere along the way I guess they got in the crossfire.” You pointed at the cadavers that were laying under you, there were about fifteen of them. It was true, you didn’t mean to kill them, maybe they were just so weak that such a small part of your power was enough to kill them.

“These lowlifes…” A demon that had the same appearance as a lion muttered under his breath, stopping everyone that was battling.

“We’re the Six Knights of Black, the most vile warriors of the demon race ! Bend down to us and admire our power !” A tall blue haired one screamed, shaking up the ground. Goddesses as well as demons fled, scared for their lives. Nerobasta joined you and your sister before whispering to you.

“We have to call Sir Ludociel. He’ll be able to help us.” You shook your head, if she wanted to go she could, but you weren’t going to flee a battlefield. Surely you could explain to them you didn’t want to fight them, and they understand.

“There’s no need for that Nerobasta. Don’t worry we’ll take care of it if you’re scared.” You smiled softly at her, you didn’t want her to do anything she didn’t want to, if she found comfort in Ludociel’s embrace than that was okay, but there was no need to drag more people into what was supposed to be a small disagreement.

“I’m not scared ! How dare you say that ! It’s just, he would take care of it way quicker than anyone else would.”

“There’s no need to bring any more people here. Go back to the realm, we’ll take care of this.” Elizabeth swiftly added, stopping Nerobasta who was about to say something else. The older goddess frowned, but left without more complaints, even if she was your friend, she hated that you were both of higher ranks than her, and that she had to respect you a way you didn’t have to do with her.

“Oh, is it only these two small children ?” One that was half man, half made out of what seemed like flesh said in an almost robotic voice.

“Leave it to me then.” The same one that had screamed earlier stepped in front of the rest.

“Nuh-uh ! Bellion, it’s not fair you always get the coolest fights !” The only woman in the group whined.

“Go back to the realm, and have them tell Prince Meliodas I’ll bring him the heirs of the hideous goddess clan.” The five demon complained loudly but with one look from the man, they quickly set off back to the demon realm.

“Wow, look at that guy. So much charisma into one mediocre appearance.” You sweat-dropped at what Elizabeth had whispered to you when she thought the man couldn’t hear.

“You, with the white hair and the foul mouth, you must be Elizabeth, and you, you haven’t said a word yet, so you must be ___. I have to say, it’s impressive to finally meet the bloodstained sisters of the goddess clan.” He let out a humorless laugh and jumped into air to aim at you with his large sword. The two of you easily dodged, which angered him, but not as much as when you ignored him to speak to each other again.

“Ellie, people are hurt. One of us should go heal them.” You pointed at the people on the ground, somehow, humans had ended up here, and although there were other goddesses around, you knew none would decide to help them.

“You think you’ll be okay taking him on ? I can finish off the rest of them before healing anyone.” You nodded at her, concerned, Elizabeth was usually the one that fought, and you’d stick to healing, so why she wanted you to take care of him was a mystery to you. She set herself down and left to finish off the weaker demons as you turned, still in the air, to the leader of the Six Knights of Black.

“You’re Bellion right ? The others listened to you immediately, so I’m guessing you’re their leader. That’s weird though. You claim to be the most vile group, and yet I’ve heard no word of you.”

“You wrenched goddess ! How dare you insult me that way !” He moved his arm, and with that, ruins from the battle flew at you. So he can control things with his mind, you’d have to remember that. You let the rocks follow you, and Bellion almost laughed at how pathetic you seemed, the strongest of all goddesses running away from a few rocks, and then you stopped when you ended up above a lake. With one swat of your wings, you were higher up, and the rocks had fallen down in the water, thus not harming anyone.

“You’ve avoided a few stones, so what ? Death Burn !” He swung his long blade at you and dark violet flames enveloped it before coming at you.

“Jonah’s Ordeal !” A whale made out of light raised from the lake and swallowed up the darkness from the sword. “Actually, I lied earlier, I’ve heard of you. Bellion, the demon that got rejected by his prince. You asked him to be part of the Ten Commandments, and he told you the harsh truth about yourself. You’re so full of yourself, you boast your strength everywhere, and anywhere, but the truth is, even your own race thought you’d be a bother to them in battle.”

“You-“

“Ark !” With a swing of your hand, he was gone, sent back to the demon realm, of course, the attack wouldn’t hurt him too much, it was just to get him as far away as possible. You flew all the back to where you had left your sister and everyone else.

“Ellie ! Is everyone okay ?”

“Yep ! The hurt have been healed, and the demons have been sent back to their realms.” She dramatically said, flying over to check you for any injury. She jabbed her finger on your left cheek, showing a scratch you hadn’t even noticed until now. “What happened to you ?”

“Ellie, it’s a small scratch… I think I got it while sleeping.”

“I told them jewels on cushions was a bad idea, I think I chipped my tooth on one.” You looked down and saw everyone going back home, you were glad, people were going back to their loved ones. “Well, let’s head back.”

You were sitting at your vanity, dabbing some moisturizer onto your face. Elizabeth was laying with her head hanging from your bed and her legs propped up the wall.

“So how’d you get the weirdo to leave ?”

“I didn’t think he’d listen to me so I fought him.” She stared at you, worried about how it might’ve gone on. “Don’t look at me like that, it was quick, one Ark and he was gone. I told him a bunch of mean things and I think that got to him.”

“You told a demon… mean things ? And he actually got hurt ?”

“Yeah, turns out he’s the one that the elder prince rejected.” She sat up, eyes wide and full of excitement.

“Shit, really ? If I’d known I would have fought him myself. How come you know all of the gossips and I don’t ?”

“Well you’re the one that told me a demon had been rejected by the leader of the Ten Commandments and I remember Nerobasta told me the same story, but she actually said the guy’s name.” You stood up and joined her on the bed giggling at her answer to that.

“Ey, Nerobasta knows all the gossip, I need to have lunch with her more. You did good today, I’ll let you sleep.” You rolled your eyes at how she was exaggerating such a little fight but didn’t say anything because you know she just did it because she cared for you. You stopped her before she could fully close the door.

“I’m gonna go on an early walk tomorrow. You wanna come with ?”

“I would’ve love to, but I’ve got a bunch of juniors to train, maybe when I’m done with that we can have dinner together though ?”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You haven’t been spending as much time together as you’d like. Your mother had insisted you focused on how to work administrative, deal with which battle was worth looking into, as if they were some sort of game and people’s lives weren’t on the line. Elizabeth however had a training focused on direct battle, she was so good she was training the younger generations. You sighed and got comfortable in bed, turned off the light and closed your eyes, allowing the tears that had pooled up to fall, and sink into your soft pillow. It was so tiring, of course, resolving conflict without violence was amazing, but most of the time, it didn’t work and someone would end up hurt, or dead. You rose up from your bed and grabbed a tissue from your bedside table to wipe your face. You laid back down, and prayed that your night would, for once, be free of those nightmares from the war.

Good bye, wipe off the tears

Humans have a lot on you, but flying is something you’re so happy to have. It makes you sad that they’d never understand how great it is to feel the breeze raking through your hair, or how small everything feels when you’re so high up. You stopped when you saw someone standing at the edge of a cliff and decided you’d come down to say hello. However, as you got lower, you felt your stomach start to churn, and you head started aching. Your breath got stuck in your throat when you ended face to face with the person on the cliff. It was a young man, with blond hair, and possibly the largest set of wings you had ever seen. Clearly he was a demon, and from the mark on his forehead you could tell he was a very high ranked one. He also seemed to stop for a moment and stare at your face intently. His curious stare turned into a glare when his eyes set on your white wings. He picked up the large sword that he had earlier stuck in the ground and launched at you. You shrieked and decided you probably would be able to avoid him if you flew up, so you let yourself fall a few meters down. To your surprise, that didn’t surprise him at all, and he just chased right after you.

“You goddesses are always here, lurking around, waiting until you find someone to sneak up on.” He spoke with pure hatred and disgust.

“No, I swear, I just wanted to sa-“

“Hellblaze !”

“I don’t want to fight !” You screamed at him, you didn’t want to, but if he continued like this, you’d have no choice but to fight back. When the flames finally caught up to you and burned your legs, you decided you couldn’t not defend yourself. “Fuck, Ark !” The Ark was big enough to engage him and bring him far away, but not enough to kill him.

“Fuck, why isn’t my commandment working on her ?!” He gritted through his teeth, it was loud enough so you could hear it before he was taken away. Commandment ? Blond hair ? Black marks all over his body ? Was this the leader of the Ten Commandments ? The next in line to be the demon king ? Meliodas The Love, is what you heard them call him. How you’d never met him was a surprise, but now he was in front of you, you were glad you hadn’t. Was it your bad luck, just yesterday you were beating one of his comrades, talking about how ruthless he was, and now you were the object of his wrath. You didn’t have time anymore, you felt the cold, hard blade graze your cheek, it was well aimed. He had intentionally avoided hurting you and only left a small wound on your face. Your head was bashed against the cliff and you could feel his angry breathing on your face.

“Move, even just one millimeter, and I will have your cut up body sent to that cursed sister of yours.” At the mention of Elizabeth you froze, and before you realized, you had locked him in another Ark. This time bigger, brighter, stronger. He dropped his sword and screamed in pain, clutching his head, almost ripping out his blond hair. Your palm closed little by little until you couldn’t hear him scream anymore. You directed the Ark to land on the edge of the cliff he had originally been standing and let his now unconscious body fall. You sighed again, now it would take a while for him to wake up, you’d go pick up his sword -that had fallen in the water when he dropped it- heal him and when he woke up you’d explain that you were harmless to him. How he was going to believe you were harmless after rendering him unconscious, you didn’t know, but you hoped you wouldn’t have to fight again.

Getting the sword out of the water was a hassle, it was the largest and heaviest you had ever wielded. It now rested next to the healed man, he looked to be around your age, but he was the demon king’s oldest son, so maybe he was a few centuries older. Maybe once he woke up you’d ask him, you’d also ask him if he had siblings too, if he spent time with them. On cue, the blond groaned, and sat up, rubbing his head with his two rough hands. He didn’t notice you until he looked up and saw your worried face and small smile.

“I’m sorry about that. Your head doesn’t hurt too much does it ?” He was speechless, his head didn’t hurt at all, and he had a feeling he knew why. He ignored your question and apology, grabbed his sword walked away.

“Wait, stay for a moment.” He stopped and for a second you thought he’d turn around and answer you but he only just let his wings out to fly away.

“You’re Meliodas The Love aren’t you ?!” He turned around, annoyed, his commandment wasn’t working so he couldn’t even question you without risking anything. Why were you pretending to not know him ? “I don’t want to fight with you, I was just on a morning walk and I thought I’d come say hello.”

“To me ?”

“Yes, I didn’t really see who you were, but it doesn’t really matter.”

“So you just, walk around, greeting demons for fun ?”

“Yeah.” He flew away. “No, come back ! I’m not mocking you !”

Good day, please believe in me.

“You met who ?!” She raised her voice, closing the door quickly behind you.

“Ellie, don’t yell !”

“You’re yelling ?!”

“Right, sorry.”

“You met the leader of the Ten Commandments and thought, you’d say hello ?” She was speaking with a mocking tone, because she knew you were the only person that would think this way.

“I didn’t know it was him at first, but that didn’t change anything, why can’t I say hello to him ?” You pouted, people paid too much attention to stuff like race nowadays.

“You can, it’s just, you know how we get along with them…”

“Well if they find out about it, I can just tell them the truth. We fought and then he left.”

“At least you won.”

“Yeah I felt kind of bad, I didn’t want him to hate me for losing his sword or getting a headache. There’s no way he’ll want to talk to me now.” You threw your face onto your pillow, angry that the only time you could’ve had a calm encounter with a demon turned into a fight. She put her soft, comforting hands on you back and rubbed it up and down.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll meet him again, and when you do, maybe he’ll agree to speaking with you. Just be careful, okay ?” You yawned before answering sleepily.

“Yeah, I hope so. And if I do meet him again, I’ll be extra careful, he seriously could’ve hurt me with that giant sword.” She smiled, stroked your cheek and wished you a good night before turning around to get to her own bedroom, but not without whispering under her breath.

“He’s as small as you are, how can you two be so dangerous ?” Still, Elizabeth thoight about you, amazed, you truly were one of a kind. The only goddess that wanted to be friends with the prince of the enemy clan. She loved that about you, when she had those same thoughts, before she understood what was and wasn’t possible in life, she could talk to you without being judged. And you listened to everything she had to say, now, Elizabeth had gave up on those ideas for herself, but you, you were different, something about you was special. You’d change the world, shake up skies and grounds, and show people what real life truly is. Maybe things could actually change.

Wake up, the scenery is changing

A few days later, you had gone on another one of your morning walks, once again, Elizabeth couldn’t join you, so you decided to keep your promise and be extra careful. You took the same road you usually took, even after last time’s events. You flew past the same cliff you fought with Meliodas and since nobody was here, you decided to lay down on the grass. You set your palms flat down on the grass and let your power seep into the dirt. Flowers bloomed all around, bringing life to the usually dead looking cliff. You smiled and giggled happily, and closed your eyes, feeling the sun shine warmly on your face. Unbeknownst to you, the same demon you had met last time was staring at you from above. What exactly were you ? Since when did goddess try to have conversations with other races, especially demons ? Since when did they use their powers for something so trivial as flowers ? And since when were they so adorable ? He’d never heard one of them laugh like this, usually they were mocking people, laughing at their pain or sadness. He felt a few drops of water on his hair and realized it started raining. He heard you groan and complain about how you couldn’t just go on a normal walk without being interrupted. You raised your head and that’s when you noticed the blond demon that was staring at you, he turned around when you two made eye contact, his face warming up quickly.

“Oh, hi !” You waved hello at him and beckoned him over. “Come ! Sit !” He hesitated before slowly lowering himself onto the ground. “Hello. I’m ___”

“I know.”

“Oh. Well still, at least I’ve introduced myself.”

“I’m Meliodas. But, you knew that, no ?” You nodded and patted the space next to you, hoping he’d sit with you. He walked over to the spot, but didn’t sit, so you looked up at him, and for the first time in his life, he shied away and couldn’t stare at someone’s face. You didn’t seem to understand that he was flustered so you just stood up to stand next to him.

“So, how’s your life going ?” You hesitantly asked, looking around, nervous from his staring.

“I’m not doing this.” He turned around and you thought he was going to leave so you hurried to grab his shoulders.

“No, wait !” You released him, and calmed down. “I’m sorry, I just want to talk.”

“About what ?”

“Life. I just thought, since we both come here, maybe we could be friends ?”

“You want to be friends ?” From his voice, it didn’t sound like he was mocking you. He just seemed genuinely surprised, and also maybe, curious. “With me ?” He hated how weak he sounded, like no one had ever asked him for his company. Before he could stop himself, he continued. “Why ?”

“Of course I want to be friends. I know that our races don’t get along too well but I think it’s nice to know more people. I know that demons aren’t actually that bad.”

“We’ve always been at war, and somehow, you believe that we’re good guys ?”

“You’re saying so yourself. It’s a war, you’re fighting to protect what you care about, and I do the same. I don’t believe there’s a good or a bad in a war. There are just people, who fight for something, or someone.”

“That’s a nice way to think. I guess it suits your character.”

“My character ? You don’t even know me…” Maybe now, he was the one laughing at you, he says he wants nothing to do with you but then he acts like he knows you.

“The whole goddess character. How you guys tend to see the world like there’s nothing wrong in it.” He gestured to you, frowning when your face hardened.

“That’s not how we see it though. I think most of us see what’s wrong first, and then notice the happy things.”

“Yeah ? What do you see first ?”

“Depends, I like to think I see the positive in things. What about you ? I don’t really know what fits the whole demon character.”

“I guess I see bad things first, and then, when it’s too late I notice there are still good things.”

“Maybe, we can try and show each other how we see life ? You’d understand us better and I’d understand demons better. At least two of us won’t hate each other for no reason.” He didn’t know why the clear hope in your voice made him so vulnerable, but when he looked into your eyes, he knew he could only answer one thing.

“Yeah. We can try.”

Hey, we can fly off

#meliodas sds #nnt meliodas #meliodas x reader #meliodas #sds meliodas #meliodas smut #nanatsu no taizai x reader #seven deadly sins x reader #nnt au #sds x reader #sds anime

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hey-kae · 2 years

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Post-Victory

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x female reader

Request: After reading that 5 time orgasm I couldn't help but wonder if you wrote about other drivers too? Cause not gonna lie, I would sell my soul to see gentleman Carlos giving the ofc at least 3 mind blown orgasm written by you 🤤 If it is possible please make it enemies to lover or put some tension between them, it is my fav🥲 Thank u for your amazing fics and writing, they are perfecttttt

Warnings: fingering, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex

Sidenote: I’m not gonna lie, I don’t really like how this turned out but I’ve rewritten it so many times that i just gave up. I’m so sorry to disappoint!! I’m im such an angsty mood so that kinda explains it but it’s also the fact that i’m just not attracted to Carlos no matter how hard i try to convince myself to be ( don’t come at me please, he’s just not my type but he is good looking so yeah).

Life as a content creator for Ferrari was significantly easy on most days, just carrying a phone around, filming the right videos and posting at the right times. On other days, the phone was shoved into your hands and you were thrown in front of Carlos and Charles to film one of the now infamously silly tiktoks. Those days spent under the Spanish driver’s glaring stare were living hell, especially since most times, the looks escalated into snide comments you’d exchange until some other team member told the two of you to knock it off and get to work.

It was ridiculous, really. You and Carlos had absolutely no reason to hate each other, it seemed to come naturally for some unknown reason.

After the Silverstone race, you had to visibly fight the urge to roll your eyes dramatically when you were asked to meet with Sainz in the motorhome after he had won his first ever Grand Prix. Sure, as a member of the Ferrari team, you were happy about the victory, but had it been up to you, you would’ve enjoyed the win much more from a distance without having to get up close and personal with the winner himself. It might be an unpopular opinion, but it was yours and you would’ve stood your ground if had the choice to. Instead, you sucked it up and sulked your way back to the red motorhome, your eyes immediately going to search for Carlos, knowing he had already finished his podium celebrations.

You searched for him for several minutes, passing by every room in the motorhome, asking every person you passed if they had run into him.

There was no signs of him.

“Fucking hell, Carlos.” You cussed under your breath, climbing the stairs up to the level where the drivers’ rooms were, knowing that was you last resort.

Sure enough, his room was alive with sounds of him moving around it.

You stormed in, having had enough of him already even though you weren’t even in the same room yet. There he was, now dressed in a Ferrari shirt and some jeans, rummaging through the bag on his desk.

“Why the hell aren’t you downstairs, Sainz?” You spit the words out with so much anger.

“Because we need to film a video?” He responded with a frown, not understanding your attitude.

“Here? We’re filming on the main-“

“You know, a congratulations would be nice. It won’t kill you.” He cut you off, taking one too many steps towards you and reaching behind you to slam the door shut.

“Ok, great. Congratulations. Now let’s get this over with.” You gestured for him to hurry up and move along.

“You are unbelievable.” He shook his head in disbelief, moving away from you.

“Well, good thing your opinion about me doesn’t really matter.” Your words made his head snap towards you, anger starting to cloud his expression.

“I’d love to fuck that attitude out of you some day, preciosa.” He chuckled with pure spite, his look piercing its way through you.

The phone in your hand threatened to slip out grip as Carlos’ words startled you, to say the least, so in attempt to attempt to mask this reaction you had, you tossed the small device onto the desktop, the sound of the impact silencing the room.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Your voice was right up there on the scale of shouting at the spanish man.

“Oh, i’m sure you heard me.” He narrowed his eyes at you, moving back towards you until your back was flush against the wall, his arm reached beside him to slam the door shut.

“Why the fuck do you think you have the right to talk to me like that? You are such an entitled prick!” You spit the words out.

Every single one of your nerves was pulsing with feelings you didn’t want to feel, things that you thought were impossible to feel. It seemed like your blood was rushing too fast and your skin had gotten a little too hot. Before you even allowed yourself to consider the possibility of you being attracted to the man currently cornering you, your legs made the decision to leap out of the small space between Carlos and the wall.

The attempt to escape was a little too slow. Carlos’ hand slammed against the wall beside your head, blocking your way and caging you in.

“Go on. Tell me you don’t want this and I’ll immediately stop.”

Unexpected desire fogged your mind, leaving you staring at his lips and struggling to form any sentence.

“Tell me what you want, princesa.”

It took everything in you to say anything.

“Go fuck yourself, Sainz.”

It’s a shame, the amount of power you had to muster to say these four words, especially since they seemed pointless.

Carlos pushed his body up against yours, his every move oozing with confidence. He wasn’t clueless and your reaction to him wasn’t exactly subtle.

“I’d much rather fuck you so tell me if you want it before you lose the privilege, sweetheart.” He smirked.

The fact that he thought sex with him was a privilege made your blood boil, and your thighs clench but you weren’t gonna give that any attention.

“Fuck you.”

“Alright then.” He raised his hands in surrender, taking a step away from you.

Nothing in this world would’ve explained your next reaction, but for now it didn’t matter. You weren’t even trying to understand it.

You grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and crashed your lips against his without thinking about what you were doing.

That was all it took for him to pin you up against, his knee nestling between your thighs, his hands firm against your body.

“You might be annoying but i always knew you were smart, preciosa.” His hand wrapped around your neck, forcing you to look up at him.

“Shut up and fuck me. I’m not here for you to evaluate my intelligence.” It was fucking amazing, how he was still able to get on your nerves even when his lips were against yours and his tongue was discovering your mouth.

“Alright then.”

Your Ferrari shirt was tossed onto the floor shortly after that, his also following yours immediately.

Carlos’ lips kissed down your jaw, down to your chest, slipping your bra’s strap off your shoulder and kissing its spot.

While his kisses busied your mind, his touch slipped down your stomach, down to the front of your pants. He was suddenly eager to undo your pants, quickly slipping his hand into them.

“You were trying to push me away when you’re this wet? I’m disappointed in you, sweetheart.” He smirked as he felt the dampness of your underwear.

“Carlos, i swear to god if-“ Desperate to shut you up, he pushed your panties to the side and thrusted a finger into you.

The words you were planning to throw at him quickly got lost and you caught yourself moaning as another finger stretched you out.

“I like these sounds much better,” he removed his fingers to strip you of your pants and underwear.

Once they were thrown onto the floor, he resumed his actions, his thumb rubbing your clit as well this time.

“Fuck.” You arched your back off the wall, eager for more friction of any kind. Carlos was quick to take notice of your reaction so he added a third finger, eliciting a moan from you.

“Say my name.” He slowed down his hand’s movements.

You gave him no reply.

“Say my fucking name.” His movement stilled completely.

“Is this some ego thing? ‘Cause I don’t mind finishing the job myself.” You challenged him, moving your hand down to try and prove your point.

Carlos didn’t allow you to do that. He pushed your hand away and glared at you.

“Trust me princesa, you’ll end up moaning my name anyway. I was just giving you an easy route.”

His whole attitude changed after that. His movements against your clit were almost aggressive and his fingers were fucking you so hard, it made your body shake.

“Oh shit.” You moaned as you clenched your pussy around his fingers, feeling your orgasm just seconds away. When you finally let go, releasing your cum onto Carlos’ fingers, you made it a point to avoid moaning his name no matter what.

That enraged him, to say the least, so he didn’t give you time to come down from your orgasm. He immediately kneeled down in front of you, pulling one of your legs over his shoulder and latching his mouth onto your clit while keeping up the thrusting of his fingers. It made you groan and whimper in unprecedented ways.

“Oh my fucking god.” The expletives kept spilling out of your mouth as Carlos slowly sucked on your clit and licked every part of your pussy, his nose making you shiver every time it brushed the right spots.

You looked down at him, the sight almost making you cum on spot. He was eating you out like a starved man, the sounds his tongue was making only being more proof of how much he was taking his time with this.

Your hand fisted his hair, tugging of his dark strands as his teeth grazed your sensitive clit, igniting a feeling of warmth all over your body. Concluding that you liked that, Carlos kept repeating that move, making the feeling building up in the pit of your stomach stronger.

Soon enough, you eyes squeezed shut and your body shuddered as another orgasm aggressively ripped through you. It left you breathless, fully relying on the wall for support as Carlos let go off you, standing up to watch you with a sense of pride.

The uneventful moments didn’t last long.

“Bend over the desk.” Carlos ordered as he took off the rest of his clothes, revealing his hard cock.

The sight made you comply so fast. You wouldn’t admit it out loud but you couldn’t wait to have him buried deep inside your wet pussy.

“You’re a good girl when you’re about to get fucked.” Carlos pointed out.

You looked over your shoulder to find him with his hand wrapped around his dick, guiding it towards your entrance.

“Shut the fuck up.” You turned back around, fully expecting to feel him push into you any second now. Instead, you felt his tip press against your clit, making you weak.

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you, princesa.” He circled his dick around your sensitive nub of nerves, making you close your eyes as he began rubbing your clit the same way. He moved his cock to trace the sides of your entrance, teasing you by pushing in the tip slightly into you before quickly pulling back out.

He teased your hole for long enough before redirecting his attention back to your clit. He moved himself faster against it, teasing himself and bringing you closer to the edge as he relentlessly rubbed it with his tip until you felt your walls clench onto nothing, your legs shaking as the third orgasm blinded you.

Your eyes were still closed and your mouth was still agape when Carlos thrusted into you, filling you up while your body while still shuddering from your release.

“Oh fuck, Carlos. I can’t…” you moaned.

“Now was that so hard? Was saying my name so hard?” He taunted, his hand pulling in your hair as he started pounding into you, feeling you squeeze your walls around him.

“Say it again.” He rubbed your clit.

This time, you were to far gone to argue, you mind already not thinking of anything besides the way Carlos’ cock was perfectly stretching you out. You just gave him what he wanted, moaning his name as his hips met yours repeatedly im mercilessly thrusts.

“Sounds so good, princesa.” Carlos moaned, giving your ass a slight slap before his hands griped your hips for leverage.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you felt his cock brush against your g-spot, making you fist your hands.

The sensitivity was starting to catch up to you, making you feel vulnerable under Carlos’ touch as he pounded into you from behind.

You knew you were seconds away from cumming and judging by Carlos’ grunts, he was just as close too. Therefore, you let go, whimpering and softly moaning as Carlos continued his movements until he spilled his load inside you and pulled out.

A minute later, you pulled yourself up to find you clothes but found that Carlos had already picked them up off the floor for you.

“Thanks.” You said as you grabbed them out of his hands. The word hang weirdly between the two of you.

“I don’t hate you, i hope you know.” He calmly said as he pulled his pants back on.

It shocked you for a second but quickly started to make sense. Nothing happened between the two of you that made you hate each other.

“I don’t hate you either but you’re a bit annoying.” You smiled at him and he returned it. That was probably the first time you had ever smiled at each other.

“So, would you allow me to annoy you on a date sometime?” He awkwardly asked, his hand scratching the back of his neck.

It weirded you out that you were considering it. It was even more absurd how quickly you agreed.

“Sure. As long as you act just as annoying.” You joked and he laughed.

“C’mon, we still need to film that tiktok.” You reminded him and he groaned.

“There we go again.” You said with a playful tone as you finished getting dressed and reached for the phone.

It’s safe you say that this one tiktok was the easiest but most interesting to film. How wouldn’t it have been when the two of you weren’t sending each other death glares for the first time ever?

#carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz one shot #carlos sains imagines #f1 smut #f1 imagine #carlos sainz x reader #f1 x reader

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trickstarbrave · 2 years

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big improvement i would put in the elder scrolls story wise if we rebuilt it would be an actual dragon cult faction. no you dont have to be able to join it (though i would like that and think it would be cool lol) but i feel it would make sense and add more to the setting.

currently the dragon cult is made up of just undead. draugar and dragon priests etc. people entombed since the merethic era waiting for their gods to come back. i think it would be better if real people just up and decided “fuck it. i hate everything going on right now. i hate the war, i hate the thalmor, i hate this empire now, and i hate the stormcloaks. let alduin come back. if he wants to rule the world or end it so be it this place sucks” and just decided to start the cult back up. or maybe its villagers in small settlements who give tribute to dragons in exchange for not being turned into charred corpses--the empire and stormcloaks sure as shit cant supply enough soldiers to keep them safe, and all they have to do is hail the dragons and give them some cattle to keep from being the next helgen.

because as it stands right now the dragons arent imposing or scary they just seem like big monsters that show up to destroy shit for no reason. everyone stands around after you killed one going “wow the dragonborn” and then goes on with their day. they dont even run and hide inside during a dragon attack consistently without a mod. dragons are just annoyances. i think it would be better to see the real effects of them. have them be basically a third faction like in the civil war, they start claiming cities after alduin brings them back. have to keep hushed about being dragonborn there. be able to talk to dragons in those settlements who have their own opinions about you being dragonborn and about alduin in there.

also i think the civil war should have been more important. have patrols along the roads. if you progress far enough they attack you on sight in enemy territory. taxes, screenings, etc. forts should be important strategic points and not just bandit dens. bridges could have been destroyed and rebuilt in the conflict and you can see evidence of it. have different ways you can go about doing it, like you can be a spy, an open fighter, an archer, etc etc. gives a lot of replay value if its not just picking which npcs you wanna install in cities and who you wanna take orders to but instead its own challenges and ways of accomplishing taking a city. each questline should also involve real issues each faction has, like how the empire cant spare more troops so they need to make due with what they have and stormcloaks having limited supplies so they have many soldiers to feed and not enough metal and food to arm and feed them.

basically everyone suggests redoing skyrim in the way of gutting the dragons and making the thalmor the big bad and stopping the civil war altogether or whatever. i think the bare bones is fine the biggest problem with skyrim is that Nothing Ever Happens. random encounters mean nothing. dragon attacks except for the tower and helgen Mean Nothing. dragons are just big monsters and bandits are just random enemies and you can only talk to like 3 dragons in the entire game and you dont even really get to understand dragon culture and morality. the civil war doesn’t feel like a war and everything is more filmsy than a disney park. giving some remote realism, branching options of things to go to accomplish the same things, and more depth would go along way to help the game not feel dead and shallow. because an RPG should have. role play in it. choices you make. those choices at least SEEMING like they actually matter when you think about it longer than 5 minutes

#skyrim #the elder scrolls #the elder scrolls skyrim

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ill-corpses · 4 months

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Some Thoughts on Saiki K(Anime)

Watched Saiki K recently

Hopefully will look at the manga soon and watch the dub

I don’t necessarily ship Saiki with anyone but it’s definitely implied that he likes or has some type of interest in Teruhashi

Again I’ve only watch the anime so I could be wrong but I kinda wish Teru started showing a bit more of her true personality and then maybe I would like the ship more

Kinda already know Aiura probably wasn’t even a contender and just seemed plopped in kinda wish she had more screen time and was more of a rival to Teru

It’s a gag anime so I actually don’t mind the tropes for once maybe it’s because it not a serious story if that makes any sense? Don’t get me wrong Teru brother and absolute vile freak💀 maybe it’s because I don’t see him often

I hate pervert tropes but I enjoyed this anime again I think it’s because it’s a gag anime that’s why

My only lil gripe is how dark skin / black characters are shown as per usual (I’m aware that Aiura is tan and a gyaru, I am also talking about the one black character in the background, always a damn jump scare , sucks honestly)

I also think Aiura should of also came to the realization of what Saiki type is and be true to herself if she’s intended to also be his love interest

Even though it’s obvious he and Teru would be together in the end I still kinda wish for more for my girl

(Also don’t really get the Teru hate, I’m aware why but to some ends it seems a bit extreme imo, again I would like Teru x Saiki more if more of her true personality came out and didn’t always have to be so perfect at least around the gang)

(Also kinda want to head canon Aiura as blasian 🫣, again I’m aware it’s a gag manga but I kinda want a sub plot where she possibly struggles with the negativity surrounding gyaru culture and maybe darker skin. Idk I think it would be a good plot for her and Saiki to be a bit closer and a little more understanding between the two, I’m just spit balling here)

The discussion of how Black and darker skin characters are viewed and written in media is a topic for another day just wanted to share my thoughts

Any thoughts or headcanons you guys might have?

My brain needs more content lol could be about ships and why you like them too just be respectful

You can actually send some to my ask box if you want or just replies

Please help me feed my brain

Also kinda sorta want to make an oc🫣

Probably will never post it but just to give myself more content

Edit: Oooh also when Teru and Aiura swap styles

I wish that maybe Airua not jealous of how Teru looked but how she’s perceived if you know what I mean

Aiura will always acknowledge that Teru looks good no matter the style that’s a fact, but I think she would notice how different she’s treated

Like Teru is trying to copy her style but no one really treats her differently than before and that kind of sucks you know?

Styles that are usually look down upon and always get hate but then get praised when a conventionally attractive person by society norms does it and then its cool and trendy. Maybe Aiura notices and feels some type of way

She does not hate Teru

Maybe I’m projecting but it happens a lot especially when it comes to black culture and it’s frustrating(yes I’m aware she isn’t black just something I noticed)

#ILL TALKS #saiki no psi nan #saiki k #Saiki k fandom #kusuo saiki #aiura mikoto #teruhashi kokomi

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dreamkidddream · 1 year

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Bad Luck || Mammon

I AM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE 😭 I have just had no time to do literally anything but I didn’t want to let you guys down (and I miss writing </3). Reader is gender neutral!

Dream’s Spooktober 2022 👻

Mammon could sense that someone was following him.

He could feel someone’s eyes peering into his back, but whenever he turned- no one was there. Was it one of the witches looking to torture him again? Or did Lucifer finally gain wind of his new debt from the casino? Either way, he didn’t want to wait and find out, already hurrying to get back home.

But the small pitter patter of steps left him feeling uneasy and annoyed. Fine- if they were gonna try to get the jump on him, he’ll just have to do it first!

Whipping his head back, he had his mouth open to yell at them to back off-

Only no one was there.

No one but a small black cat with its back hunched, wide eyes staring into his own.

He’s honestly grateful that no one was around, because how could he explain that a little cat had him on edge?

“Oi, what gives? Are you lost or somethin’?”

All the black cat did was blink at his question, meowing loudly as if they was answering his question. He couldn’t help but laugh a bit, squatting down and rubbing behind their ears hearing their purring.

“Well either way, I can’t take you with me. Lucifer would find a way some crazy way to punish me, and Satan wouldn’t ever let you go if he got his eyes on you.” He felt the cat tense beneath his fingers, stopping their purring and meowing even louder.

“Listen, I don’t like it either, but I can’t get in trouble- I can’t take MC out if Lucifer got me strung up again!” Mammon felt a bit ridiculous talking like this- it’s not like this cat can understand him anyway- but it felt good to have someone listen to him, even if it was a runt like this. “Besides, I need all the luck I can get to score some more Grimm- can’t start getting bad luck now.”

But even as Mammon stood up and his hand left the kitty’s hand, he couldn’t tear his eyes away from them. The cat was pouting, pulling him in further- and he was falling for it.

“Oh no- you’re not pullin’ me in with that look!” Mammon turned from them, arms folded and eyes closed tight. You already suckered him enough as it is, he’s not dumb enough to fall for it again- but he still peeked open his eye to see them.

The cat looked downright pitiful- and it wasn’t helping when they practically leaped at him as a clap of thunder resounded in the air. Luckily he was fast enough to catch them, feeling the rain drops fall harder and how much they were shivering in his arms. The cat’s once sleek coat was now growing damp, and Mammon knew he couldn’t just leave them like this.

He shrugged off his jacket and wrapped the tiny animal inside of it, “Fine, you can come with me tonight- but don’t expect this special treatment to last forever, got it?!” His words held no real bite, even as his drenched locks were sticking to his face.

The cat meowed once more, happily snuggling into the little warmth they were provided. Even Mammon couldn’t help but crack a smile at how bright its eyes lit up at his words.

They reminded him of you for some reason.

—

Sneaking the little cat in wasn’t an issue for Mammon, but his mind was focused on other matters at the moment- like why weren’t you answering him.

He couldn’t help but feel a bit of jealousy- was your magic lessons with Solomon that important that you couldn’t shoot him a quick text? He knows that it’s important, but you could at least say something to him. He’s your first man after all! He’s been there for you way longer than that old wizard- what makes him so special that you had to ignore him?

But he also knew that you‘re not ignoring him on purpose- didn’t mean that he couldn’t be annoyed by it though.

He sucked his teeth as he tossed his phone aside, “Whatever- who needs ‘em? They’re gonna be begging for my attention as soon as they get home anyway!“ Though his words were petty, he really was a little bit worried. You’ll usually send back a sticker if you couldn’t text, and you didn’t even do that!

Something light crawled on his chest, and he soon felt something soft kneading at his pouting cheeks. Looking down, his golden-blue eyes locked with the cat’s- which strangely reflected the shade of your own eyes that he would get lost in so much (not that he ever say that out loud). Even the reassuring look that the cat was giving him resembled you-

But he didn’t stay on the thought long enough as he felt the cat rub alongside his neck, purring.

“Alright, alright- enough already ya runt!” He choked, trying to hold back his laughter from the sensation. “You don’t have to make me feel better, alright?” He held them up gently, “I know that they’re busy but…I can’t help but miss them, y’know?”

Mammon chuckled when he felt the cat lick at his hand, and then brought them back down to his chest where they crawled back to his face, touching their nose with his. He could kinda understand Satan’s obsession now-

And he didn’t know why he was pouring his heart out to them- but what else did he have to do? Maybe it was because of how attentive they were to him? It really did feel like they were listening to him.

“They mean a lot to me, and I wanna do right by them. That’s why I’m planning to take them out tomorrow as a surprise! I’ve been saving up my Grimm and staying out of trouble just to make it happen- a night with just the two of us.”

Just hearing himself say the words out loud made his cheeks dust red, but he still held the dreamy expression on his face. Was it cheesy? Of course, but imagining the beaming smile you that you would to him and only him was enough was enough to make his heart race.

“It was a hassle planning it but…MC’s worth it-“

Mammon couldn’t finish his words as a puff of smoke filled his vision, and something suddenly falling on top of him, sending him to the ground.

He choked as he tried to figure out just what the hell was happening. When the smoke finally disappeared, he froze when he locked eyes with you. Not the cat, but you, still brushing your nose with his.

It was a long silence as he looked on in a mix of confusion and horror, while you looked embarrassed, cracking a weak smile as you laid on top of him.

“Um-“ you sat up, frantically waving your hands. “Don’t freak out- I can explain!”

Mammon seemed to be in a trance, still trying to process everything. “You’re…the cat?”

You nodded.

He blinked, “Does that mean…you heard everything I said?”

You nervously wrung your fingers together and nodded again.

All he could do was stare at the ceiling in disbelief, defeated. So much was running through his mind-

You felt immensely guilty that you pretty much broke him, but it was a complete accident! You weren’t expecting the new transformation spell to turn you into a cat of all things, and losing track of Solomon didn’t help either. Being surrounded by figures who look like literal giants had you nervous-

But when your eyes landed on those familiar white locks, you immediately felt safe. Even more so as he carried you back home in the rain.

And hearing how much he wanted to do for you when he already does so much warmed your heart, even if you couldn’t say it at first.

“Hey,” you gently cradled Mammon’s face, his golden-blue jewel eyes avoiding yours. “You know I love you right?”

“Of-Of course I do.” He sputtered out, cheeks darkening. You chuckled, not surprised at his actions.

“And I appreciate everything that you do for me.” You kissed his forehead, then his cheeks, and you heard him coo a bit. “And I still wanna go on a date with you, even if it isn’t a surprise anymore.”

Mammon was still pouting, but you could feel his resolve crumbling.

“This isn’t going to ruin spending time with my first man, is it?”

“As if!” He shot straight up, almost knocking you down to the ground before you felt his arms wrap around you, steadying yourself on his lap.

It was so different being this up close to Mammon back as a human- much better too. He’s always been someone so beautiful to gaze at, and you could only imagine if this is how his fans felt just looking at his magazine covers. It was a view you always found yourself getting lost in-

And it seemed that Mammon shared the same thoughts, with the way his eyes kept flickering at your lips.

Your noses brushed once more, both of you leaning in closer and closer.

“Let’s keep this our little secret.”

#dream queued this!#dream’s spooktober 2022 👻#dream rambles about obey me 😈💜#obey me x gender neutral reader #obey me x reader #obey me mammon x reader #mammon x you #mammon x reader #obey me x you

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linkstem · 6 days

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Introject Ask Game!

1. What's your name and source?

I'm Blue from the The Legend of Zelda: Four Swords manga

2. What type of introject are you? (Fictive, factive, etc.)

I'm a fictive

3. How connected do you feel to your source?

All of it happened to me and stuff so like,,, really connected I guess. I think it really helped us as a system cause it can be interpreted as a really nice DID metaphor... Even though we had no idea we were a system when we read it

4. Do you have any exomemories? What's your favourite one?

I remember my whole sourcce but I dunno about a favorite,,,

5. What do you think of your source's fandom?

I FUCKING LOVE THESE GUYS

6. Do you have any sourcemates in your system?

Red, Green, and Vio!! There's some Zelda fictives from other games/aus I dunno if they count

7. Have you ever met any sourcemates outside your system?

We're friends with a BOTW Link and Zelda, and we know a Saria, we wanna meet more!

8. Have you ever posted/sent a sourcecall anywhere? Did it help you find sourcemates?

I never really felt the need to

9. What do you think are your biggest differences from/similarities to your source?

Uhh it's not really a difference cause I still did all that stuff but I kinda cringe looking back on our source cause I was really different when we first drew the Four Sword. I don't really know how to fight and stuff anymore too, so that kinda sucks

10. Do you like being compared to your source?

Yeah, I mean, that's me!!

11. What's your favourite thing about your source?

I guess the characters, feels kinda weird to call us that, but yeah! The five of us are my favorite thing about it, our interactions make us happy

12. What's your least favourite thing about your source?

FUCK THE GERUDO YOURE SO COOL BUT WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO RACIST FOR JUST STOP BEING RACIST

13. Any funny exomemories?

This one time Green was playing with paper boats in the water and Shadow pushed him in so we all had to jump in after him and try to pull him out!!

14. Does your appearance differ from your source's appearance?

I have more dirty blondeish hair than my canon hair, and the side part is styled kinda different? And I wear blue earrings!

15. What other role, if any, do you have in the system?

We're still figuring all that out, I think I might be a caretaker though.

16. If you could go back to the life you had in your exomemories/source, would you?

HAHA FUCK NO I have a super cool boyfriend and extended found family now

Seriously though? I miss the castle and stuff, if I could take him and all my other friends with me I would totally go back, Hyrule beats this place any day

17. Does this universe differ at all from the one in your exomemories/source?

Yeah theres fucking weird new technology and sland i DONT understand and there's a SEVERE LACK OF COOL SWORDS AND HORSES AND SHIT

18. What's your favourite clothing item/ accessory that the system owns?

I like our blue scarf!

19. Do you have any merch of your source?

We have Toon Link and Toon Zelda plushies...

20. Do you ever get homesick? If yes, what do you do to deal with it?

Not reallyy, I mean its better but I dont really dwell on it, the people matter more than the place and I have all the people

21. What songs remind you of your source?

Those Hyrule Lofi things are cool

22. What activities/things remind you of your source?

Playing Breath of the Wild? That kinda feels like cheating though

23. Do you like engaging with your source/ content about it?

Yeah!! Everyones so funny and sometimes fan stuff helps me remember things I forgot

24. Have you ever created content related to your source? (Art, fanfiction, etc.)

Yeah, our host likes to draw so we make a lot of drawings and stuff, I like doing whiteboards with our friends. We also used to "roleplay" before we knew we were actually just plural

25. How do you feel about doubles?

I mean, there's already four of me so I'm kinda numb to it, I've met other Blue kinnies and stuff, they're cool!

#legend of zelda fictive #fictive ask game #dissociative identity disorder #link's house #blue 🫐#FUCK YEAH I DID IT #some of these were hard #this was fun though

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apocalypticavolition · 8 months

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Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 33: The Dark Waits

Here be spoilers! Not just spoilers for this whole book (they don't resolve every conflict in this one) but spoilers for the whole damn book series (at least some characters are definitely alive or dead by the end). If anything more explicit than my entirely unsurprising parentheticals would bother you, go read the books and then come back!

This chapter has another heron-marked sword icon, which is rather interesting this time around! Rand's sword is primarily a liability this time, something he keeps hidden from prying eyes now that he understands just how much it makes him stand out, but it's also something he won't let Mat take from him out of fear he'll lose his connection to Tam.

Maybe they were all townsmen and local farmfolk. Does that make any difference?

Rand is definitely succumbing to the paranoia of the situation. I wonder if the little tastes of the taint he's been getting are helping him along on that front, or if it's purely a natural reaction. It certainly is understandable either way.

Mat turned on the seat beside the farmer and leaned back until he found Rand’s eyes. The scarf that did duty for dust, when need be, shaded his own eyes, folded over thickly and tied low around his forehead.

God these scarves make everything confusing. So, chapter 31 started at the end of this three chapter sequence but Rand reflected on getting the scarves. We then jumped back to the immediate aftermath of Whitebridge when they did not have the scarves and continued forward in time through chapter 32 to the escape from Four Kings. Then (now) we've jumped a little forward, to when they do have the scarves, and will shortly be jumping back to where chapter 32 left off. They'll get the scarves then. At the end of this chapter we'll catch up to... *drinks*... the start of this chapter, and then we'll skip ahead to where 31 started the flashback.

I hope my explanation made sense of the chronology for anyone still confused though I fear the reasoning for this bizarre presentation of events in an order that Homestuck author Andrew Hussie would call "fucking needlessly convoluted" is lost to time if it ever existed at all.

“Queen’s Guards,” Master Kinch said around his pipe. He kept his eyes on the road ahead. “Won’t go much further than Breen’s Spring, ’less they’re called for. Not like the old days.” He sucked on his pipe, then added, “I suppose, these days, there’s parts of the Realm don’t see the Guards in a year or more. Not like the old days.”

Understatement of the year. Master Kinch wasn't even alive the last time the Guards might have been in the Two Rivers! His grandpa may not have been alive then.

Rand wondered what Master al’Vere would say if someone told him the Two Rivers was part of some Queen’s Realm. The Queen of Andor, he supposed. Perhaps the Mayor did know—he knew a lot of things that surprised Rand—and maybe others did, too, but he had never heard anyone mention it. The Two Rivers was the Two Rivers. Each village handled its own problems, and if some difficulty involved more than one village the Mayors, and maybe the Village Councils, solved it between them.

Some - like myself - would argue that if the Two Rivers is so completely divorced from the realm that it is completely oblivious to its status, receives no benefits from it, and avoids the cost, that they aren't part of the realm, no matter what any old map says. They absolutely deserve their independence and it's a travesty they didn't get it. And yes, I'm going to complain about this every time it even tangentially comes up.

Makes me wonder though if there are corners of the other nations that are as oblivious as the Two Rivers to external affairs. I mean, Altara is obviously a state in maps only, but what about the others? Will they ever get their independence, or did the Dragon's Peace damn them to eternal bondage under monarchies that don't give a fuck?

“How would you know what Darkfriends look like?” Mat demanded. He backed away from the cart, and his hand went under his coat. “What do you know about Darkfriends?”

Finally, Mat's showing some paranoia that's actually alarming.

“Rand,” he said, “you won’t leave me, will you? If I can’t keep up?” His voice quavered. “I won’t leave you.” Rand tightened his grip on his friend’s hand. “I won’t leave you no matter what.”

Rand and Mat have a better-written romance than virtually every other couple in this series. Change my mind!

When he turned back, Ba’alzamon’s outstretched hand had become a fist. “You are mine, youngling, alive or dead. The Eye of the World will never serve you. I mark you as mine.” His fist opened, and a ball of flame shot out. It struck Rand in the face, exploding, searing.

I think on my earliest readings I assumed this dream of Rand and Mat's was supposed to line up with Perrin's somehow, but chronologically speaking it absolutely does not. Perrin's been captured at this point. I wonder if he is getting a dream at this point, or if his close association with the wolves led Ishy to rule him out.

“My eyes! Oh, Light, my eyes! He took my eyes!” Rand held him close, cradling him against his chest as if he were a baby. “You’re all right, Mat. You’re all right. He can’t hurt us. We won’t let him.” He could feel Mat shaking, sobbing into his coat. “He can’t hurt us,” he whispered, and wished he believed it. What protects you makes you vulnerable. I am going mad.

F- f- f- foreshadowing! Also more on the Rand/Mat front. These two boys are practically closer than Frodo and Sam.

“If I was a good man,” Mull said, “I’d offer a couple of lads soaked to the skin a place to dry out and get warm in front of my fire. But it’s hard times, and strangers . . . . I don’t know what you’re running from, and I don’t want to. You understand? My family.” Suddenly he pulled two long, woolen scarves, dark and thick, out of his coat pocket. “It’s not much, but here. Belong to my boys. They have others. You don’t know me, understand? It’s hard times.”

Damn these scarves. They're so poorly knitted they tangled up time itself!

The innkeeper was as clean as his inn, with a gleaming white apron around his bulk. Rand was glad to see he was a stout man; he doubted if he would ever again trust a skinny innkeeper.

It's true, if you're skinny and in hospitality you're clearly evil! Or at least your establishment serves shitty food, and in a way, isn't that the same thing?

“Hey,” Mat exclaimed, “I can see!” He sat up on his bed, squinting around the room. “Some, anyway. Your face is still a little blurry, but I can tell who you are. I knew I’d be all right. By tonight I’ll see better than you do. Again.”

Enjoy it while you can, Mat, because you're ironically setting up your own injury later down the line.

Light, when I see Moiraine again, I’ll kiss her!

Ah heck, I'll ship this too. Rand's already canonically an easy lay, I'm just widening his net to obscene proportions.

“My name? My name. Ah . . . call me Paitr.” His eyes shifted nervously. “Ah . . . this is not my idea, you understand. I have to do it. I didn’t want to, but they made me. You have to understand that. I don’t—”

Paitr isn't quite the poster child for why being a Darkfriend doesn't pay, but damn if he's not going to be an effective demonstration. He's also not remotely competent, is he?

Paitr seemed to take the threat seriously. His face grew pale. “I . . . I heard what happened at Four Kings. Some of it, anyway. Word travels. We have ways of hearing things. But there’s nobody here to trap you. I’m alone, and . . . and I just want to talk.”

Dana from the TV show is kind of a mishmash of every antagonist on the road (especially since it's really clear that they'd hoped to have another episode for the travel but couldn't get it and had to trim even further). Where Paitr only hints at it, Dana's much more explicit: orders are being transmitted through the World of Dreams.

Maybe Paitr already knew about it; maybe Gode had told Ba’alzamon, and Ba’alzamon had told Paitr; but he did not think so. He thought Paitr had only the vaguest idea of what had happened in Four Kings. That was why he was so frightened.

In particular, I think Rand's suppositions aren't quite true here. Gode is dead and so not a useful informant; he's nowhere near connected enough to offer anything more than a few parting words on his way out the door. But I don't think all of Gode's men died and I do think they were all Darkfriends, so Ish was able to get a barebones account from somebody. However, either the witnesses wouldn't be able to explain much and Paitr is thus left with only vague impressions or Ish was able to piece together that Rand was channeling... leaving Paitr genuinely concerned for his life.

Images spun in his head. The Trolloc, Narg, leaping at him in his own home. The Myrddraal threatening at the Stag and Lion in Baerlon. Halfmen everywhere, Fades chasing them to Shadar Logoth, coming for them in Whitebridge. Darkfriends everywhere. He whirled, his hand balling up. “I said, leave us alone!” His fist took Paitr flush on the nose.

Rand's already got that tasty, tasty PTSD. Poor boy.

Twenty Darkfriends had held a gathering in Market Sheran. Men with twisted bodies, and the women worse, all dirty and in rags. They could make your knees grow weak and your stomach heave just by looking at you, and when they laughed, the filthy cackles rang in your ears for hours and your head felt as if it were splitting open. He had seen them himself, just at a distance, far enough off to be safe. If the Queen would not do something, then somebody ought to ask the Children of the Light for help. Somebody should do something.

It's terrifying that the tale grew this much in the telling and genuinely sad that the wagonwright is the sort of guy who would lie about being an eyewitness and want the Children to step in.

It's also funny because the Queen absolutely won't do anything about Paitr and the Children do.

From the way the serving maids scurried between the tables with harried looks—and the landlord, too—it was a larger crowd than they were used to.

Okay I don't wanna mention Jordan's gender norms every time they come up but in every town since Four Kings it's been serving maids and landlords. No dudes waiting tables on the road at all, nor ladies running the establishments. Not very equal! (At least the cooks have some variety; in Four Kings it was a lady but the one in this inn is a gent).

“Not a bit of it,” Mat said. He was trying to sound cheerful, but Rand could hear the hidden worry. “He was scared the other folk would find out there was somebody sick in his inn. I told him if he kicked us out, I’d take you into the common room. That’d empty half his rooms in ten minutes. For all his talk about fools, he doesn’t want that.”

This chapter shows what a beautiful friendship these boys have. They're all kinds of traumatized, including supernaturally, and here's Mat refusing to leave Rand's side or let him be denied shelter anyway. And since Rand's having his channeling chills just a couple days later, we're very close to his internal death clock going off - and frankly I'm not at all sure when he resolves it. No later than Asmodean's tutoring, I would say, but it's possible he'd figured himself out by Tear.

The night deepened, and the stable shifted in the flickering lantern light. Shadows took shape and moved on their own. Then he saw Ba’alzamon striding down the stable, eyes burning, a Myrddraal at either side with faces hidden in the depths of their black cowls.

Moiraine doesn't explicitly mention crazy hallucinations as part of the sparking process. Are they common, something unique to Rand's situation because he's sparking in such a miserable state of affairs, or something that's relatively common to dude sparkers because they're reacting to the taint on top of everything else? Is Ish reaching into his mind again? This is the first time that Rand hears the term "Black Ajah" - Elyas mentioned it once to Perrin, but otherwise the only color he's heard discussed is red.

“There’s nobody but us,” Mat said. “Here, let me take that.” He reached for Rand’s sword belt, but Rand tightened his grip on the hilt. “No. No. I have to keep it. He’s my father. You understand? He’s m-my f-father!” The shivering swept over him once more, but he clung to the sword as if to a lifeline. “M-my f-father!” Mat gave up trying to take it and pulled the cloaks back over him.

Mat must be so hella confused but he's just helping his buddy.

But the worst was Tam. Tam stood over him, frowning and shaking his head, and said not a word. “You have to tell me,” Rand begged him. “Who am I? Tell me, please. Who am I? Who am I?” he shouted.

This is more proof to me that Rand's in denial about his circumstances, with the fever dream showing his true state of mind. He knows he ain't Tam's biological son.

She was about the same age as Nynaeve, he thought, but she was no village woman. The pale green silk of her dress shimmered as she moved. Her cloak was a rich, soft gray, and a frothy net of lace caught up her hair. She fingered a heavy gold necklace as she looked thoughtfully at Mat and him.

You can tell that Mili isn't an Aes Sedai despite Rand's uncertainty by the way that she isn't wearing black despite being a Darkfriend. Made her very unhappy, not being able to channel.

Licking his lips, Rand stared at the tableau above him. Even if he had not been so weak, he did not believe he could have moved. Then his eyes fell on her dagger, and his mouth went dry. The wood around the blade was blackening; thin tendrils of smoke rose from the char.

So what's up with Mili's dagger? Is it a power-wrought weapon of some kind? I don't think it comes up again - the wiki doesn't mention it on Mili's page nor does it include it in a list of items with articles in the page for chapter 33 - but weird shit like this is supposed to be hella rare! I want to know more... I just doubt I will. Can anyone with an extraordinary memory for trivialities fill me in if I'm just blanking?

“She tried to kill me, Rand. She’d have killed you, too. She’s a Darkfriend.” Mat spat the word. “But we’re not,” Rand said. The woman gasped as if she had just realized what Mat had intended. “We are not, Mat.”

Mat being so blase about killing a woman must be the dagger's influence in much the same way that Rand's madness will lead to him killing that Darkfriend gal on the road in a couple books.

Also, while like most people I hate the "If you kill me you'll be just like me," trope, I'm absolutely here for the "If we kill them we'll be just like them" variant.

The man blew a streamer of smoke from the corner of his mouth. “Going to Caemlyn, are you? Was your age, I expect I might be off to see this false Dragon myself.” “Yes.” Mat nodded. “That’s right. We’re going to see the false Dragon.”

Funny how it's a lie now but won't be a lie for Rand by the time all this is done.

In any event, this is another chapter done. Chapter 34 will finally have us resuming linear time, thank goodness. Damn those scarves!!!

#let's read #wheel of time #wot #robert jordan #wheel of time spoilers #wot spoilers #rand al'thor #mat cauthon #ishamael #paitr conel #mili skane

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tincanton · 5 months

Text

my thoughts on jrwi ep 110 :DD

- THEY FUCKING EXPLODED????

- NOT THE FUCKING STICK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

- LET THEM HAVE THE STICK YOU MONSTER

- honestly glad chip cant get another deal because thats double fucked

- erm i dont think you should let niklaus decide when the dread queen comes back maybe its just me but that seems. KINDA BAD :DD

- dude not. dont call him papa possibility :((

- CAPTAIN ROSE CAUSED IT??????

- THE STICK 😭😭😭

- yeah chip lost something valuable alright THE STICK. oh yeah and his heart too I Guess 🙄🙄

- [looking at his exploded friends] u alright? ._.

- theyre speaking spanish :> my beloveds.

- augh chip and queen hug :(( i love them so much :(( also WWHO TF IS QUEEN need their backstory asap

- OH MY GOD AAAUGH THE REFERENCE

- "nice forearms. and nicer staff :))" "did you just walk up and say that to me???" 😭😭 (did not even listen to the entirety of the old campaign) (like one episode at most)

- "M̶͈͉̌͐Y̵̼̆͂ ̵͕͆͆T̸̩͖͌͆I̶̘̐̇M̸̭̲̔̇E̵̯̜̍͒ ̶̝̀H̴̲̹͊͌Ą̷͌̅Ș̴̛̉ ̴͚͝Ċ̴̬O̷̻͚̊̕M̴̲̭͐̉Ë̷̢͉́͘.̶͈̰͐̀" "should we call them back who was that :}" gilly my silly

- awh chip and jay conversation :(( jay feeling guilty because chip had his heart taken away because she didnt get her limbs taken off (girl its okay nobody wants to be amputated) and chip reassuring her that its fine even though its definitely not fine

- get that leg fixed goddamn. dont hide it no-

- Tree Powers Activate >:D [tree powers do not activate]

- "that barrel you sleep in? thats made of trees!" "but... it doesnt have any branches..."

- starts weeping sexily

- what is happening. i cant keep up with their silly banter this is so funny help

- "H̴͔͌͊Ę̵̢̂̔Ẻ̴̯E̷͓̓͛Y̸̱͂͑Y̴̤̹̅Ỹ̷̧̪Y̷̘̆͝Y̷͓̙͆." "omg i didnt know you were chill like that."

- idk if anyone noticed but gillion is my silly. my favorite little guy if you will. gilly. he is my everything. he is bantering with a tree.

- HELP JAY AND CHIP ARE JUST STANDING THERE

- GOD DONT LET GILL ASK THE TREE AHAHAHHSHDHSHD

- "do u like blue color or red color more?? :∆"

- HOW MANY TREES ARE THERE??? NONONONONO GILLY DONT DO IT-

- "what do they call you?" "how long until you die :3"

- HELP GILLION WIKI. LISTENING TO JRWI IN PUBLIC IS SO HARD IM SO GLAD I HAVE A MASK BECAUSE I CANT STOP SMILING OMG

- Gillion Motherfucking Titty Sucking Tidestrider

- omg the prophecy lore pls i need the truth too

- i did not understand any of that but cool

- "who are you without your titles?" "i dont know" ow. okay.

- god i hate how jrwi can go from so funny to so emotional so quickly. i love it. i hate it.

- albatrio my beloved. my found family

- "if the world explodes, at least we get exploded together :))" aw... i think...

- "what do you see in these fishy eyes 0-0" "what color are gills eyes?" "Bloo :]"

- GRAGHH GILL ASKED WHAT THEY SEE IN HIM. THEY SEE A FRIEND. THEY SEE FAMILY. THEY SEE A GOOD PERSON. HURGH. IM GONNA THROW UP. THEY SEE SOMEONE WHO WILL LAUGH WITH THEM WHEN THEYRE IN DANGER. GOD IM GONNA BE SICK.

Gill: What if there's nothing?

Jay: Have you enjoyed it?

Gill: I think I had a pretty rough start, but yeah. Even the worse parts. Maybe more than I should have. Yeah I have.

Chip: Then fuck it.

Jay: That's all that matters.

OH SO YOU WANT TO HURT ME. OH SO YOU WANT TO KILL ME.

- "Even if its all inevitable I'm glad we got written in the same story." Dont. Dont do this to me.

- HELP NOT THE INTERVALS OF GILL JUST BREAKING DOWN IN BETWEEN SENTENCES

- NO LITERALLY DO NOT GIVE ANYONE THE DECK OF MANY THINGS PLEASE

- noo haha chip dont pull a card from the deck of many things youre so sexy hahaa (i already made this joke befo

- "gambling is not destiny"

- woah theres a wicked looking sword in the corner

- BABY BLADE????? yeah were movin on.

- dont eat chip's hotmode swords pretty please

- charlie has made nuh uh and yuh huh a part of my vocabulary this sucks

- istg if "it is what it is" becomes the new "it is my destiny"....

- naw gill trying to defy the gods by not sleeping 😔😔 bbg just go sleep

- they gotta get outta here man i dont wanna know what happens if they get too many corruption points jays ALREADY AT 5...

- WHAT DID THEY DO TO EARL???? HELP LMAO

gill: Oh Well you know if you need anyone Else to cast the spell for you... Maybe theres like a PALADIN or someone-

chip: i can try :))

gill: *fucking leaves*

- chip jumpscaring igneous for a bit is so silly of him please use chip being dead as a prank more lmao

- hnnghhnghhnb star saying that they have to make their own hope while holding zamia hrrrghhr oh theyre In Love in love

- "Life keeps going on. And so do the holes. In the sea. And they call to us." - Jay Ferin

- "he was there one moment and then he turned to dust and died. Wait im thinking about the tree. Green is fine :))"

- he gave gill his seed. yuh huh. yurp.

- gill has two moms that share custody of him :] and also theyre gods :]

- "i have ceremony prepped if you want to make it official :>" HAHSHAHDHS GILL #1 SUPPORTER OF STAR/ZAMIA FRRR

- ZAMIA BLUSHING PLEASEEE

- BAHAHAHSHSH "not a big deal ive officiated a wedding before :)) NOT THAT IT WAS HONORED 👀😒😒🙄🙄"

- TIL DEATH DO US PART. AND CHIPS DEAD. ALL IT TOOK WAS TAKING CHIPS HEART TO GET DIVORCED.

- "ive seen this before :DD do you guys wanna get married?" lmao so this is why i saw some ship art of chip and igneous.

- "i share my finances with them already [gesturing to gill and jay]" is this supposed to imply that you are married to your captains chip nolastname. chip jrwi.

- jay: nononono we're not adding another Person to that though. oh so you ARE in a polyamorous relationship huh. huh.

- gill: i never thought of it like that ._. (he was in the poly and he didnt even realize)

- wait so have they just decided that if they both roll nat 20s they would get married. ermm. chip i think you. i think you forgot smth... (/hj)

- chip got 0 game just go to your fish man already

- "as a cleric i feel obligated to stop y" "no dont." "sure ._." dang they really want to go into this hole dont they.

- nonono no mold hallway no please no no

- lol did they just forget to mention the literal teleporter they have that can bring them out of the black sea at any point.

- honestly i love that the riptide pirates are just bad at being pirates. like go off and make friends and throw your money off the ship.

- igneous part of the riptide pirates :DD (literally run away from these dumbasses)

#jrwi #jrwi riptide #jrwi liveblog #sort of #tincantext #jrwi ep 110 #jrwi spoilers #are they spoilers???#its already been out for like.. 2 months..#oh well

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jordanstrophe · 2 years

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Hello! Zuko 5 croissant anon here! Would you consider writing about a mermaid whumpee that either gets caught by Whumper or rescued by Caretaker? Only if you want to!!

Here are your croissants!:

✨️🥐🥐🥐🥐🥐✨️

ribbits at you (I'll admit, it took me a second to get the Avatar reference. Also this mer-whumpee theme is very new to me, it was quite fun, thank you)

CW: Non-human whumpee, wounded, stern caretaker, defiant whumpee, hurt/comfort ending

Caretaker squinted at the water’s edge; they swore they were looking at some washed up log on the beach, but it also looked like it was-... moving. At first it was only a twitch; but the closer they got, the more it looked like it was violently thrashing.

It was a heavy net beached at shore. Caretaker grabbed a handful of the material and ripped it off, worried some animal was suck underneath-

-But when they peeled the final layer, they were met with a face. A fearful, horrified face. They weren't human, their lower body faded into scales with a long, scratched up tail. Despite that, their expression was more human than ever. They were wounded and in pain, heaving for air like it wasn’t there.

“Oh, oh no- oh for goodness-” Caretaker snapped out of their initial shock and realized what they were. They reached down to pull out some kelp stuck in their hair, but were met with a heavy flinch and an aggressive snap of their teeth.

Sharp teeth.

Caretaker barely jerked their hand away fast enough. They exhaled a sigh of relief, holding their spared hand to their chest. They pulled off as much of the net as they could safely reach, before hovering their hands over the creature’s tail.

“Now listen-... even though you probably don’t understand me... I’m not going to hurt you, but I do have to drag you back into the water, alright? So please, don’t fight me...”

“Or bite me.”

They firmly gripped the base of their tail just above their fin. Whumpee immediately gasped and began thrashing and recoiling in panic. No matter how hard they tried, their tail was just long enough they couldn’t quite reach caretaker as they carefully began to drag them to the water. Each time they hoisted them another foot, whumpee whimpered and huffed as they were dragged through the sand.

Caretaker hadn’t bothered taking their shoes off or rolling up their jeans when they reached the water. It was up to their waist by the time they felt they were deep enough whumpee could swim away.

“This is as far as I can go. Good luck out there.” Caretaker smiled. They hoped their comforting expression at least told them their intentions, but it was hard to tell when all whumpee did was stare at them with pure horror.

Caretaker let them go and darted out of the water. It wasn’t very fast, but they couldn’t shake the feeling that all whumpee had to do was grab their ankle and take them with them. Yet, they safely made it back to land untouched.

They wiped sweat from their brow and tried to catch their breath. They turned around, half expecting to see a ripple of water from whumpee zipping off free into the ocean; but... they were exactly where they left them. They remained laying in the shallow water still staring at them wide eyed, unmoving, unblinking, panting heavily.

“Go! Go on now, you’re free!” Caretaker tried to shoo. The only response they got was a flinch back and another whimper.

-And that’s when caretaker noticed it, the stream of blood trailing from their hip into the water. They knew they were cut up and bruised, but... that was a lot of blood they hadn't seen before.

“You can’t swim, can you?” Caretaker asked. They took a step closer as whumpee still made no effort to swim away. They sighed, taking their jacket off and rolling up their sleeves.

It looks like they needed a little more help than to just be dragged back into the water...

It’s dangerous to go alone, here, take this~ ♡ @grizzlie70 @lave-whump @amethysts-sideblog @whump-it-like-its-hot @thingsthatgowhumpinthenight @yet-another-heathen @whatwhumpcomments @hamiltonwhumpdump @as-a-matter-of-whump @whumpasaurus101 @lonesome–hunter @digitalart-dwa @mabledonut @myst-in-the-mirror @melancholy-in-the-morning @anonintrovert @sunflower1000 @shywhumpauthor @dont-touch-my-soup @batfacedliar-yetagain @uvanuva

#non human whumpee #mermaid whump #whump #whumpee #caretaker #caretaking #whump drabble #whump writing #rescued whumpee #wounded whumpee #hurt comfort #injured whumpee #whump angst #rough caretaker #stern caretaker #defiant whumpee #biting whump

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polyamorouspunk · 7 months

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The allegations thing is something I'm really interested in in general as well. Personally I feel like who made the art literally doesn't matter for art, because art stands on its own and it's a decision to try to incorporate the views of the artist into your interpretation of it. And it's a valid decision and one that can help you understand art better from some angles, but that doesn't mean it's the ONLY way to look at it or vibe with it. Sometimes I stop listening to a certain song if I find out the writer wrote it about a specific thing I don't agree with, but other times *my* interpretation of the song is better and I just don't see a reason to stop listening to it because the writer was a bitch ass who wrote it about something that sucked. To me, that's the same as anyone else listening to the song interpreting it as about something that sucks. Like the writer doesn't get to just reach into your head and say "the song is about this forever and you CAN'T THINK OTHERWISE" just because they wrote it. They released it to the public so it belongs to the public now and we can interpret it however we want. And I think that can be empowering in some ways, like taking a song and making it about gay rights when the writer wanted it to be interpreted as about Christians. That's fun and empowering and we get to say FUCK YOU to the writer for being selfish and egotistical and assuming their interpretation is the only one that matters. I hope this was an interesting read for your psych data, I like sharing my thoughts a lot and I like being studied like a lab rat O__O xD

HAIDHSKAJA fuckin’ same honestly. I love surveys. Since the option that’s winning right now is the obligatory “it depends on what the issue is” option I had to put, I’m kind of curious to do another actual like survey after this. Like “it depends on the issue” is so true but to what degree. What are you okay with and what are you not. Where do you draw the line. Yk? I’m glad at least someone is enjoying this because I feel like a lot of times when I’m like “hey guys I wanna talk about this really controversial thing” people are going to be like “why is this even a debate why would you even talk about this” which I don’t really think has ever happened but I’m just so paranoid someone’s gonna be like “SO YOU THINK LISTENING TO A BAND WITH ~ALLEGATIONS~ IS OKAY THEN?” When a lot of the times it’s a case of like “oh I’m surprised more people aren’t taking issue with [thing]” or “is this really as big of a deal to most people as some people make it or are they a loud minority?”

Outside of music, there are podcasts I listen to whose opinions I don’t always agree with. One true crime podcast I listen to is a “back the blue” kind of podcast, and like I get it even though I don’t agree with it. There’s another true crime podcast I listen to that hammers in “don’t talk to cops, cops are not your friends” but also makes fun of “blue-haired liberals”. It’s not enough to make me stop listening to their show because the cases they cover are important and I try to have the mindset of “not everyone has to agree with my opinions”. Like it’s actually good to listen to people who don’t hold the same opinions as you on everything. It’s good to not be a monoculture and step outside areas where no one is going to challenge your opinions, etc. Even true crime itself is really controversial and I know a lot of people on here take issue with the genre but I personally believe it can be covered respectfully and in the past I was donating to a fund that tried to help identify potentially trans/nonbinary/etc. John and Jane Does through an organization I found through a true crime podcast.

#punk gets mail #let me know if anyone would be interested in a follow-up survey I love collecting opinions and analyzing the results #it’s a good thing I’m going into research psychology

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sadasspisces · 11 months

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A secret no one knows about me, it's me. No matter how close I get to someone I can never be me. Because who I am is never enough. How I act, how I talk, how I love, the things that intrest me... it's never enough to make someone stay. Friends or lovers. I have been and always will be a disappointment to everyone I meet. I will leave this world alone. Without a single person to miss me, because they never truly knew me.

i understand this so much lol. it's almost as if i typed this, very close to things i say on the regular.

i'm going to give you some advice that i need to take myself but won't lmfaooo, um so i know it can get incredibly lonely, and idk about you but i have abandonment issues through the roof and it sounds like you might as well. ive found an odd comfort in my own company due to feeling how you described, but again it does get lonely, sometimes you wish you had at least someone to just have to like share things with or just genuinely like you for just who you are and what all comes with you. but there are people that can come around, that won't go and i'm trying to realize that. it's hard when all your life people have literally left. and i'm sure you do have someone that would miss you, my own family don't even know me personally, like no one in it but i know a few that would actually miss me, not many but a count on one hand if that. and tbh that's enough, you don't need a whole lot of people.

there are maybe like a total of 3 people i can say really know me, like the real me. things i like, things that make me cry/sad, my interests, me as an individual. i don't open up to many people ever, because same, the fear of them leaving. but you will find people that will be open to knowing you as a friend/lover. like its possible but you have to shift your mind a bit and also stay true to yourself, don't get too wrapped up when accepting someone in. like i try to give trial runs first, the people i consider "close" i didnt properly open up too until maybe months to years later lmfao literally every year they learn something new about me cause i have problems ofc lmfao. i'm an open book but i'm not an open book, like i won't read my book outloud if you get my drift. but yeah i feel it all starts with you first.

i can definitely relate though, and idk but i feel its a mental health thing. no ome truly knows me and i feel if i was to leave too, no one would truly miss the real me because no one knows who i truly am. so i get it, but try to start with yourself first, find some peace in yourself somewhere. 🧡 sorry this was super long but i hope it helps you some lol alsooo you could always message me, i suck at responding because my own mental health is poor lmfaoo but i will get back to you eventually but yeah take care i'm always here ☺️

#anon answered #anonymous #anon ask #send me anons

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jimkirkachu · 2 years

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Hey Jim, I'm really proud of you for coming out to your family & I'm sorry they're not making the effort to help you understand yourself. I know how difficult it is to settle into your identity is when you have to figure it out yourself & having people repeatedly misgender you makes it even harder. I also hope you don't take the negative AO3 comment to heart & just delete it. I'm sure if you read the rest of your inbox, you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Oh my friend 🫂💔😭💙💛 thank you so much for your encouragement. You're so kind and good to me and I don't deserve it but I love you so much 🫂💜😭😭😭

(gender stuff, fandom-related insecurity/paranoia/self-pity ahead)

People have told me before that it's okay for me to vent here because nobody is being forced to read this crap or follow me, but I still feel like a douche canoe any time I complain here about anything that has to do with my "real life," because I'm so incredibly fortunate and privileged. At least outwardly, my (closest) family has accepted my nb-ness / questioning and I'm overwhelmingly grateful for that. I haven't been disowned, or kicked out of the house, or laughed at... like I said, enormous unearned privilege/good fortune. And ironically, having a few people "in the know" who are still talking to/about me the way they did for 31 years, while frustrating, has genuinely been helping me better understand that I definitely don't identify with my birth-assigned gender or its pronouns anymore, if I ever really did at all. 🤔 It seems to be a matter now of "how long can I continue to pretend the misgendering doesn't bother me when it's coming from my parents," because, lest we forget, I'm still intensely nonconfrontational, afraid of being an inconvenience or a burden to others, terrified of taking up space or standing up for myself, and thoroughly convinced of my own utter worthlessness. 😬

As for the ao3 comment that I have no doubt blown way out of proportion 🤦😣 I'm... I don't know. It has finally taken a backseat in my mind to other concerns, so that's an improvement. But it's going to take a long time to dust myself off from all of this; the comment in question was really just the straw that broke my back after spending the last 2 years having an extremely prolonged existential crisis in regards to my "place" (or lack thereof) in the fandom. I've been feeling really bad/lousy/insecure about my work and my ability to "fit in" or contribute (without also annoying people to death) ever since an incident in the 2020 big bang discord server got under my skin and has just kept on burrowing into my mind and soul like a poisoned splinter ever since.

I don't write fics that are appropriate / desirable / worthy of inclusion in zines or rec lists or what-have-you. I don't know anything about any of the new Trek series or characters or timelines or whatever the hell else because I went and got my ptsd triggered while watching season 1 of Discovery and had to promise myself not to watch anything else produced by the current franchise-runners in the interest of self-preservation. And original series K/S is my only ship, my only fandom interest, the only [hyper-]fixation I've had for at least 6 years now. The harsh fact that I'm simply out of touch and irrelevant has been making me question why I'm even still trying to maintain any kind of online presence at all... and yet my fics and my online friends here have been essentially the only things that have motivated me to keep Living in the last 4+ years. 🤔 So... I'm a mess all over, and not just because of that comment (it clearly didn't help matters any, though). 🤦🤷 (And yet and yet... being a mess is my Thing, like, it's the one thing I'm consistently good at. So although it sucks, I'm also accustomed to it, in a lot of ways. 🙁😬👍)

Thank you, as always, dear, for being my friend and saying such sweet, generous things. I love you (and everybody who has put up with the pain of knowing/interacting with me 💜), and given the especially difficult past few months (both personally and in regards to the state of the US and the world), I'm just really, really grateful to know I'm not alone. 💜🫂💜🫂 Take care, you. 🖖🫂💛💙

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angelic-din-mortem · 1 year

Text

I guess I should clarify something after talking to some people, but putting it on this blog for reasons.

So I know a few things I do on here are a bit...odd? Be it how I follow people, interact, send or in many cases don’t send stuff, or my rping style, or even why my muse is the way he is, or my activity habit. So let me just explain a bit and get it out of the way, not being forced to do this, just that sometimes people don’t get the right idea for why I do things.

Following people: I usually NEVER follow people first, on ANY of my blogs. Simply because I am not sure if my muse is wanted or not, or myself for that matter. Some people prefer being followed by certain muses or fandoms, so to not cross their comfort I usually don’t follow first. Sure I may follow back if they followed me, if I am comfortable or interested enough and its a character I can see myself rping with, yeah...

Interact: Simply put, I am a people pleasure, I want make everyone proud and happy and all that...but last few years on tumblr and FF14, etc, I was used and abused in so many ways then I care to admit, making me VERY paranoid and uneasy around others, doesn’t help I am naturally shy, and not one to care for a lot of attention, so sorry for not reaching out first usually... Usually interact more with friends and people I talk to in ways that I can be comfortable to reach out to them, ic or ooc, but I sadly can’t do this with everyone and every day... so sorry...

Sending stuff: Pretty much above reasons, fact that Idk if people would want a meme from me so I just don’t send one unless asked or told I can in person, I just don’t want to annoy or make people feel required to answer. And I get super nervous if its appropriate to send, so usually only do this if confident enough and or comfortable with the person.

Rping style: Thing is, I am rarely on, fact is I was gone a lot the last few years trying please people on FF14 to point that was all I did. Got so bad and blew up in my face so hard I was so scared to come back here, afraid they bring the drama here, and they did in a sense, but not as much. So I am rusty from being gone a lot do to drama and health reasons. Also I am dyslexic, both reading and speaking, my grammar sucks, due to these things and being so rusty with rping, I know my writing can be unreadable, making it hard for people want to continue, and usually write with people comfortable with my writing or asking me for understanding, luckily my best friend and rp partner can read my stuff very well so least I got that going.

My muse: He is actually pretty mellow and quiet and not so much of a sore thumb guy, but he wants to be because it’s important for him be out there for people at times. I am usually very secluded and quiet myself, Angelic helps me cope and be more happy and carefree and relaxed from writing him. He is a very complete character that pretends be very simple because people can handle simple and straightforwardness, though he may not seem so forward in speaking. Lol. He is a prized muse I wrote for over ten years in all kinds of fandoms, he used to be very popular in a lot of them, now, most people moved on, and as for myself and my breaks, well... He is just a muse I want be one day, a lot of things I have experienced and seen I put in him, quite proud of it, he’s far from perfect, but doesn’t stop him from trying be the best he can, I look up to him for that.

Activity: I have health issues...what more...I am still recovering from years of abuse... To be quick, I am a mentor in FF14, all my classes are 90 (ALL CLASSES), I have over ten accounts, I am used to helping one to six or more people in things. I rarely ate or slept, hell I missed a lot in the game due to being told to speed through or else... fun... Being the people pleasure I am, I tried everything, crafting and gathering and helping with story to savage content to helping with rooms and clothes and rping and you name it, probably did it. My like was consumed by FF14, more so by people I wanted to please and be proud of me...It was...bad...didn’t eat or sleep really... mind none stop focus on wanting help and be useful and wanted...it...was...BAD...so bad I had friend demand and plea to take breaks and rest and stop doing any FF14 for a week or more... Yeah... It blew up in my face, severely, three times specifically... Luckily majority left my life, still tries stir drama with me... but whatever... Hence why I was gone a lot here as well because some used to rp with me...I am a lot better, but I have a lot of health issues still (always will be), and just...yeah...recovering... so that’s why I am so sparse, some great days and some good days and weeks or even months I am gone, lol. That’s me. I don’t tend to promote my blogs now because honestly, I am tired... And I just...well...I want people naturally come to me because they are interested in me and my muses, be it Angelic or some other...may mention muses on other blogs and here but yeah...Idk... I used to be very popular on a lot fandoms and now I just want to rest after everything. LOL... Look at me being a old retired person mentality. Hahahaha! But yeah, just..hah... Yeah...

So yeah there you have a general idea of things. I won’t mention stuff like this usually if at all, as I try keep most things privet these days unless they are pertinent to the muse or something important enough, but yeah. Anyway back to rping.

#ooc #tw: mental health #tw: eating disorder #tw: mental illness #tw: abuse #enough negativity now.#going try and have some fun.

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ask-dcf · 2 years

Note

*the bottle forms two new notes, ready for reading.*

----

*Chara's note reads as follows:*

"Honestly? I understand. I understand completely. Its scary, yknow? Love is scary. But you deserve it- sides, there aint no going wrong with Frisk, right? Theyre the kindest person, in both your universe and mine.

As difficult as it is, we're all kinda 'chained' in our own way. Trapped. Its a part of life. But whats important is how we handle our prisons, or whatever. Like...decorating a prison to become a home. Idk if that makes sense? Lol I can't exactly think with everything going on, to be honest.

Take as much time as you need, honestly. But don't let personal chains hold you back forever, okay? Trauma sucks, but honestly, i've found that treating it like an asshole animal you're stuck with as a pet has helped. Does that make sense? Should I even be writing this letter right now? Frisk says no but idc youre getting this anyways

Has anyone told you that you're really cool? cuz you should know that. i think so at least. You have snazzy clothes too. You look very suishable. I kinda wanna squish you. maybe someday we could meet in person? idk if thats possible, but yknow.

Rock on, and fuck those buttercups lol

-Chara"

---

*Frisk's note reads as following:*

"So cool to be hearing back from you!! :D its always nice to make a new friend!

Firstly, I wanna say! Chara can hate humanity, without hating you! Sure, you're human, but...cmon, do you REALLY think she isnt at least fond of you? I heard that she sang to you! Only someone that really cares sings to you! And she blushes a lot around you, too! Thats suspicious to say the list :p

And hey! You arent a weak nobody! You're a frikkin Frisk! The savior of Monsterkind! Sure, Data and Chara helped (which is very cool of them :D) but!! You're one of the ones who saved monsters! That DEFINITELY is more than a nobody!

Besides!! You dont have to have committed some giant act to be a 'somebody'!! Everyone's lives have a meaning, no matter what anyone else tells you. That includes yours.

My big sister Celest told me once 'your value is not what you can do, or how well you can do it. it is who you are. And as long as you are something, whether big or small, you are valuable. Even if that 'something' is just being an everyday person.'

And shes right!! You are valuable, and so am I...even if...its hard to understand or remember sometimes..but if we keep repeating that, someday, we'll believe it with our souls, right? so keep your head up!! or cry if you need it!! both are fine!!

You and I both have people we still want to save. I don't know what will come of either of our situations but...at least we will have each other to tell! ^v^

Sincerely, me! <3

(Ps: tell your Chara that my Chara is delirious, which is why their note might be weird =~=)"

*They read their letters. Confused and slightly flustered as they write their responses*

To Chara (Me): *multiple cross outs as if not sure how to respond to some of these* Thanks… I will need alot of time to think, but i appreciate the support…. And well. what i went through was way too much for me… So it will be hard for me to deal with it. Also thanks, good to know i am cool with my poncho (even though its color is different now) and uuhhh not sure on the squishy thing. i dont think i am… And uh. yeah would be nice to meet another Me thats not a murderer. -signed Other you

To new Friend me!: *couple scribbles aswell unable to respond* I genuinely think she more or less tolerates me the same way she tolerates an aquiantece…. i at least want her to see the outside and know that humanity isnt all bad. Maybe if i show her how peaceful it is then maybe ill have more confidence in being her-*big harsh scribbles* Forget that. As for the blush thing i think she is just shy around another human… maybe… And the singing uh…. no comment… haha… And well… its debatable of the save thing… I…. I also had help when i wanted to save the monsters. its hard to explain what i saw but it did involve Data again… I appreciate Your sisters words of wisdom… while i still dont feel confident i…. I want to at least make Chara see the good in humanity… despite its flaws…. maybe that can be enough for me to be happy…. even if in the end… she… doesnt…. you know…… And yeah. good luck on the people you wanna save, ill try my best myself. stay safe. -Frisk

*they put their notes in the bottle. and it teleports. Frisk looks down sad while Chara looks at them with a bit of worry.*

#undertale #datatale #datatale au #frisk #chara #ask blog #ask dcf

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no-shxme · 2 years

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if you feel like giving a stuck writer advice.... how do you get inspiration when head no work right or produce the right words

hey anon, sorry to hear about mush brain :C my advice is scattered but i'll list what helps for me. it's long because im verbose, i hope you dont mind. skip around or whatever (SOB)

something that might help is literally writing about that shitty writer's block feeling. i dont know about you but when i write i usually have to write towards something. usually i have a fragment of a sentence or scene that i want to get to, or just a mood, etc--as specific or unspecific as possible. Then its simply a matter of spewing enough words to get there. I'm not sure what you're trying to write (or maybe you dont have an idea, i'll get to that) but if you're looking to warm up and loosen some brain cells and you can't think of where to go with your words then you could always write about how your head-no-work. cause that's a very powerful and potent feeling in itself. i dont worry about a full scene or anything, just spitting some words on the page about how im feeling, or a character that's feeling the same thing, is often enough to spark more. i think too often people get stuck in their writer's block bc it understandably SUCKS, but there's often something to be explored there, in a good way.

sometimes to get inspiration or get out of a funk i have to really switch things up. i listen to new music or stuff that i haven't listened to in a loooong time. i'll read a book or a comic or ill go look at some pretty art and see if anything clicks. adding to that, a break can really help. a day or two or a week or whatever where you tell yourself that you're absolutely not allowed to write anything. a break! usually i can do that for a day or half a day and then i'll be good to go. (that's also because i write every single day so writing is very much a habit for me, which helps. if it takes longer then that's okay.)

opposite of this, sometimes i'm especially desperate to get something done so i just brute force it. i dont really believe in only doing something when inspiration strikes, (though inspiration is helpful and so are breaks) so sometimes i just throw up all over the page. the worst dogshit ive ever read. and that's ok, because at least it's on the page and not trapped in your brain. even if it's literally just a summary of what happens in the scene. you can always go back later and add more/flesh it out/etc.

back to idea generating. sometimes if im out of juice i literally just take something i already like (movie, book, trope, for example: indiana jones) then plug characters into it (ff or otherwise), and then just twist said material until it becomes its own thing. usually the characters will do that themselves. for example. if i inserted sett and talon into a jungle traversing indiana jones au i know just based on their characters that there'd be friction, so we'd already be looking at conflicted allies (since i want them to be allies). but then you ask, how would they even be allies in the first place? logically i decide that they must want the same single objective in order to work together in an uneasy alliance, even if i havent yet figured out what that objective is. that's a start. then i can begin thinking about that dynamic and how itd work and how i can still generate tension. thats how i end up with the idea of them handcuffed together, both fighting over the same objective even tho they both don't get along. that was a really long winded way of me saying that sometimes writing character focused stories/fanfiction can get you bogged up because it's hard to get your character to do something. it can feel like a slog. dunno if you're having that problem or not but sometimes i gotta take a step back and figure out if there's a better way for my character to do things. i try not to force anything and think about how a character would actually approach a situation and then a scene pretty much writes itself. for comparison, my train of thought for building scenes isn't "character Y is going to do xyz and abc." instead it's "these are my goals for character Y, now how do they GET there?" and designing the plot around that. which i guess doesn't' seem like that much of a difference but,, imo it's a big one. maybe that doesn't apply to you, in which case ignore it lksfdjjklfsd.

uhh i know i have other tidbits or crumbs or whatever but this is what i can think of off the top of my head. i know those mucky muddy brain times are such a struggle so maybe something here can help. just know that it'll pass, eventually! whether you take a break, brute force it, fight it, etc. everyone's different, don't be discouraged! and remember that even dogshit on a page is better than nothing. there's no rule saying you can't revise your own stuff 15 hundred bajillion times. good luck anon!

#shx answer #long post #i know i word vomit but i hope it helps dsfjkljkflsdajkflsd #or at least is useful in some way #AHHHGHH feel free to lemme know if something else works im curious okay

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