#i think thats everyone. something is deeply wrong with me

[asyipyip]

hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims

#tma #kara stop blogging #thinking about the web. thinking about how it was his first mark #and how that mark how that unaddressed trauma so deeply affected him. #and how befitting that is for the web too- to tie someone up its strands for YEARS #thinkin about how almost every single decision that man makes is made out of fear #that motherfucker has never felt safe in his god damn life you can tell and im EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT #thinking about how so much of his fear response is CONTROL because of it. His ridiculous skepticism was him trying to control it #if he denies it if he refuses to believe in it it cant hurt him #about his paranoia and desperation for knowledge is so rooted in that fear of losing control #about his entire s4 arc and grappling with becoming inhuman. about not feeling like he has any kind of personal autonomy #and how so often thats written off as him making excuses (and dont get me wrong- he makes excuses too. im not saying he doesnt) but also- #like you look at what happened with his first leitner and its like. he couldnt move. couldnt do anything to escape #and then when the other boy got taken he couldnt do anything to save him either #of course he feels like hes never had any control #of course hes desperate for knowledge- if he had only *known* what couldve happened then he couldve prevented it. #the survivors guilt is so deeply part of his character #and thats what makes jonah targeting him so fucking insidious and scary #he took his man who is already so terrified- put him in a situation where he was so out of his depth #knowing that his fear response would be to desperately try and figure out what was happening- to keep asking questions-- #pulling himself deeper into the eyes influence and easily turning it around and making it Jon's fault #as if Jon isn't trapped like everyone else- it's just his fear response is so fucking perfect for the role the eye needs him to play #and then it leads to the ultimate trauma of ripping control away from Jon and forcing him to do something so fucking horrible #something he would never in a million years CHOOSE TO DO #how he's so terrified of being made a pawn and he is. playing a game against elias where he couldn't even see the board #locking him out of his own body...forcing him to open the door. like. FUCK #I MEAN FUCK DUDE. PETER LITERALLY SAYS “HE GOT YOU” WHEN JON ASKED WHAT HIS 'PRIZE' WAS #LIKE SCRATCH THAT!!! FUCKING SCRATCH THAT!! he wasn't even a player he was a fucking PIECE in the game #GOD!!! #GOD!!!! free my boy he did nothing wrong (he did so many things wrong)

[rin-enjoyer]

When Kaguya first wakes up, all the world bends to her will for one, glorious moment. The stars stand breathless, and humanity's collective breath hitches, and the waters of the planet curl towards her. For a fraction of a second, everything is as it should be.

It all falls apart rather quickly, of course. Humans are exactly as she remembers them- stubborn, haughty creatures. There are five of them still awake when Kaguya arrives. They fight and they fight and they fight, and it is pointless, of course, but it is still... irritating.

Well. Four of them fight. As Kaguya deflects a punch from a pink one and dodges a bolt of lighting from an Uchiha, the fifth human stands back, still enraptured by Kaguya.

Her face hangs- not slack, not unwilling- it is no forceful awe that overtakes the human. She gazes at Kaguya with adoration on purpose- she takes a slow step in the direction of the fight, eyes fixed on Kaguya, and-

She can use this.

"If you wish to join me," Kaguya says, her voice echoing over packed dirt and scorched sky. "You must be willing to fight my battles."

A small smirk graces the corner of the human's lips. "As you wish."

"What?" the other Uchiha says, whipping his head around to stare at the fifth human in disbelief. "Rin, no, she's trying to take over the world- she's going to kill everyone Rin, you won't achieve your dream like this!"

"Didn't you ever stop to wonder for one moment what my dream was?" Rin snarls, her red eye spinning into its Mangekyō form. "Obito, I may as well be in the genjutsu with everyone else right now. This is what I've always wanted."

Obito's singular sharingan narrows in either grief or anger- Kaguya doesn't have the chance to discern which it is before Rin leaps at him, water dancing at her fingertips. It aids her movements, flows with her hits, and as she dances in and out of reality she pulls the water within Obito's veins. He chokes, over and over and over, trying to fight two enemies at once, neither tangible, and Rin finishes the fight.

Kaguya kills two of the human children- the yellow one makes his escape before she can catch him.

"He'll be heading to Konoha," Rin tells her, stepping away from Obito's body. "If he can wake up the people there... it'd be annoying for you."

"Noted," Kaguya says. "We will peruse him immediately."

Rin looks up at her like she's the sun and the stars and the rest of the sky all wrapped up together. She looks at Kaguya like she's more than just an invader from the moon. She does not respect Kaguya because she fears her. She loves Kaguya because, for some ineffable reason, she chooses to.

Kaguya will use that.

-

Rin looks beautiful when her hands are stained in blood.

The thought surprises Kaguya, for a split second, but she pushes the feeling down, because of course it is beautiful. The blood represents another step taken towards her goals. When she sees the glistening red coat Rin's fists, highlighting every vein and scar, her heart beats faster. Rin turns to Kaguya, thick muscle evident in the motion, and meets her eyes. The mismatched scarlet and brown-

Kaguya turns away, and to her horror, feels a slight blush creeping across her face. The blood is beautiful, and her conquest is beautiful, but... From the corner of her eye, she sees Rin's face crinkle happily, and she has a sudden urge to grab it.

"Are you done?" Kaguya says, doing her best to swallow the... sudden realizations she has made.

"He doesn't have any blood left to bleed," Rin says, grinning like a shark.

"Good," Kaguya says. "Good."

Rin rolls her shoulders, and then lets her sharingan fade back to its base state. Kaguya cannot help but record every detail of the half-shrug to her perfect memory. All of a sudden, she is as enraptured with Rin as Rin is with her. Well- not suddenly. The more Kaguya reflects over the past weeks she has spent with her, the more she realizes that this affection has been building for a very, very long time.

"...you love me," Kaguya says, just as Rin is turning to leave, to hunt down the next of the scant individuals who managed to escape the infinite tsukuyomi. Her voice does not echo over the land like it usually does. She cannot bare to let it. The moment is too intimate to be used for intimidation.

"I do," Rin says. Her eyes search Kaguya's face.

"And I believe that I have come to love you," Kaguya whispers.

"Well, of course," Rin says, like she knew this would happen from the very moment she laid eyes on Kaguya. "I am the moth to your moon."

"My moth..." Kaguya says.

Rin tenderly moves to her, embraces her, and their lips meet, and-

-

Kaguya glances at her moth. Rin is holding her head high, eyes alight with the reflection of distant fire.

Rin stares and stares and stares, her eyes empty behind the carnage. Sometimes, Kaguya wonders if there is anything behind Rin's easy air of romance and violence.

All they have left is quiet moments together. The world has burned and bled, and she and her moth sit atop the ashes of it all, together.

In these quiet moments, Kaguya has come to appreciate how empty Rin is. She wears a mask of a moth, and Kaguya doesn't think she even knows who she is underneath the mask.

Oddly, Kaguya finds herself drawn to the Rin she has not seen. She wants to gently peel the masks off until she finds the wraith of Rin who doesn't pretend to be anyone. It's an odd feeling, but not more unfamiliar than any of the attraction Kaguya has been experiencing lately.

Rin turns to Kaguya, and something slides over her eyes, and her face sharpens into something hard and beautiful- like carved, painted wood, she smiles. That's beautiful, too, but there's something intrinsically wrong with it. Kaguya almost likes the blank stares better.

"Does something trouble you, my moon?" Rin asks softly.

The pet name sends shivers up Kaguya's spine. "...nothing that needs to be addressed now."

Rin raises an eyebrow, but Kaguya shakes her head gently. "We have all the time in the world, now. Let's just watch the fields burn, for now."

Rin relaxes, and the mask comes off, and Kaguya stares at every curve of her impassive face, her hooded eyes, and slightly parted lips, and burns it into her perfect memory.

#au of an au where rin and kaguya win and its just the two of them. forevvvver #in a world full of sleeping and then dead people. lol. #also i dont know what happens in boruto dont tell me. unless rin shows up. i need to be notified of my girls appearances. #as always kaguya pov of the kagurin pipeline goes #1- “haha wow this guys in love with me thats so weird. well whatever i'll just use her.” #2- “ohhh haha she's kind cute. messed up but in a hot way. ummmm maybe we should kiss a little about it.” #3- “wow i think i actually love her thats so weird. also i think there is something deeply wrong with her on a fundamental level.” #which is just. SO FUNNY. meanwhile rin is on a constant “well i love space adn she's from space so i must love her” #and then bases her undying loyalty on that. girl your unresolved childhood identity issues are showing #nohara rin #naruto shippuden #kagurin #tw violence #sorry its just the dynamic of kaguya murdering the entire world and then turning to rin and going “are you empty inside :C” #“how can i teach you to be a person. i want you to be happy like im happy.” #healing arc time boys!!!! dont worry about the corpses those are just. they're not the thing thats wrong #horrific! unrelated to 90% of rins issues #EVERYONE GIVE IT UP FOR INCREDIBLY EVIL YURI!!!!

[orowyrm]

laz's fatal flaw is that he, at his core, is very very very attracted to guys who clearly have a lot of pent up and repressed frustration and anger and are coping with serious deep seated issues with self worth and are coping with it by lashing out at everyone. like he's BEEN that guy so he Gets It, he knows what its like, and he is so goddamn skilled at getting under peoples skin and pushing their buttons and he KNOWS full and goddamn well that just like him theres usually a wire crossed somewhere in their head between fighting and fucking and he also knows that outright approaching them like 'hey. do you like men' they will immediately assume hes pulling their leg and probably get mad as fuck and he will fumble his chance, so he just bides his time and bothers them and tries to initiate physical conflict one way or another, either by getting them to like spar with him or something or by just bothering them until they snap. almost always lets them 'win' and then drops the bomb on them as to why he's actually doing this, and it ALWAYS works because again he knows the exact mindset and he knows theyre going to be chomping at the bit for any opportunity to be Wanted, especially now that the adrenaline is pumping because they were just beating the shit out of eachother and theyre gonna be prone to be impulsive and less likely to give in to self doubt and actually go for it. like it's in part 'i know this guy has issues and cannot be fixed, BUT i think if he got laid he might at least calm down a little bit. thankfully im just the man for the job' and also he genuinely just likes em wacky like he sees a guy who is absolutely insane and is like ohh i cant not fuck him . someone once said 'dont stick your dick in crazy' to him and he was like this sign wont stop me because i cant read

the 'flaw' part of this is that, because he is ultimately at his core just a chill friendly guy who has been very lonely for most of his life, he latches onto anyone he manages to make a connection with VERY hard and becomes genuinely invested in their wellbeing, so obviously if this newfound outlet for their issues accidentally gives them the opportunity to like, reflect and decide they do actually want to better themselves, of course hes going to be right there with them every step of the way and try to help or be supportive any way he can, because thats what friends do!!

so he is basically constantly getting himself into these situations where hes like 'this guy is hot i am going to start a fight because i want him on me' clearly just gunning for like a weirdly homoerotic rivalry or something like he is clearly not thinking this far ahead and then next thing he knows he is not only in love with the guy like genuinely but he is also like accidentally giving them secondhand therapy by talking about his own struggles and how he relates to them in an attempt to be understanding. he's the only guy in the world with 'i can fix him' disease who genuinely does not approach these interactions with the intention of fixing anyone it literally just happens to him and he comes home to rigel at the end of the day like 'baaaaabe it happened again 🥺🥺🥺 help' and rigel sighs and goes to see which pathetic loser guy followed laz home like a stray dog this time

#ocs #laz #thinking about him and god he really does have a type like between rigel and cav and now lodun like he is sooo predictable #its like that one fucking comic #'ohhh im a broken person. there is something deeply inherently wrong with me that cannot be fixed. everyone hates me but i hate myself more #-and im going to make it everyone else's problem. i have to lash out and push people away because i deserve it' #'thats kinda hot' 'OH. MY GOD.'

[fish-and-forbear]

Really just hope things will be okay. I know they will be, I know I have always done all I could with the information and means I had but.

Hindsight is 20/20 I suppose.

Just need to learn to forgive myself and move on, with many many things

- Fisher

#just thinking about a lot of things #I think we all just need a nap #drank water ate half a sandwich got blankets and a dog and the queue is full of funny and nice and thoughtful things #finally made a doctors appointment for my heart rate #didnt entirely destroy beautiful friendships so thats REALLY good #just thinking about. other relationships too (all kinds) and how talking so much and believing when people say its ok but its not #really end up hurting everyone. even though i try so hard to not do that #i need to learn to forgive myself #for a lot of things #because i did all i could to fix so many things and sometimes the most healthy and gentle thing to do is. just to stop trying #damn. thats really depressing. :c #i need a nap. everyone feels quiet and rattled. we just need to sleep and reset I think #i just. hate that I cause people distress by being myself. everyone wants me to be myself but time and time again no one actually stays #when they see what I am. #that doesn't feel entirely true. its just mean neurotypicals who do that. or. people who simply need more space #and thats never their fault. EVER. i just wish people knew I mean it when I tell them I want to support their boundaries and won't be upset #if something is wrong I just want to know so we can fix it... or find a better solution #just. need to learn to stifle my emotions a bit more. I've always been emotional and loved so strongly and felt so deeply. #this is all a mix of... sound reasoning and... just the tiredness talking. #i should just sleep and see how the world fares tomorrow #i just hope the people i care about who need space... don't entirely regret me meeting them. #my dear friend here at home seemed upset at us tonight for some reason and wont respond to my message #i hope she isnt upset for real. i am terrified that... some of the behaviors Grist has will remind her of a Bad Time #Grist means so well. but he can't meet her yet. That breaks my heart.

[ilwonuu]

Can I request a yeosanh x reader smut where she's a virgin and they go into really slow but he makes her squirt for the first time ever( If your ok with writing about that) and he keeps making her squirt and when he actually generates her she bleeds and she freaks out a bit and he takes care of her so well.

OMG THANK YOU FOR YOUR REQUEST!!! this is such a great idea thank you for sending it in!! i hope you like it<3

﹆ׂׂ ˖first time. k.yeosang

summary- your boyfriend is always telling you that you guys can take it slow. you finally tell him you are ready to take your relationship to the next level and he takes all the time you need to make sure your comfortable.

warnings- first time, fingering, squirting, slight blood!!(hymen breaking), sweetbf!yeosang, fem reader, grey sweatpants yeosang<3, softdom!yeosang, sub reader, protected sex, kissing, lmk if i missed something

authors note- this has been one of my favs so far <3 also reminder that not everyone bleeds their first time!!!

you and yeosang have been dating for around 6 months now. every second of your relationship yeosang has reminded you that he is not using you for your body. that he will wait forever to have sex with you if thats what you wanted. he truly cared and loved you deeply. he tells you everyday but you can tell how he feels about you daily.

you guys have tried a few things every now any then. you have gave him a handjob multiple times and he has fingered you many times, never taking it any further.

you decided that you want to change that, so one day you bring it up to him. “yeosang?” you ask him walking into your shared bathroom seeing him shirtless brushing his teeth as he is getting ready for bed after you. “yes angel?” he asks after finishing washing up turning to look at you. “can i talk to you about something?” you say nervously as you play with your fingers.

“yes of course angel. you okay? something wrong?” he asks quickly. you can hear the concern in his voice. shaking your head. “no no i just want to ask you something.” he nods before grabbing your hand and walking you to the bed sitting down beside you. “i’m listening to you angel go ahead.” he smiles not letting go of your hand. “well..you know we have tried out some things..uh sexually can we? i mean i want to do more.” you say not making eye contact with him. he smiles at how nervous you are. “how much more angel?” he rubs your cheek with his finger smiling.

“uh i want you to fuck me yeosang..” his eyes widen at how bold you are being. “really angel? you think you’re ready? want you to be 100% sure.” he says grabbing ahold of your other hand. you nod. “i’m ready. i even watched uh something to make sure im ready..” you smile turns more seductive. “oh really angel? look at you being all prepared. did you talk to me about this right now because you’re feeling needy angel?” he rubs your side slightly. “yea.. i want you so bad. i need you yeosang. i want to feel you..” his dick hardens at your words.

“okay angel. but we’ll take it slow alright? i don’t want to hurt my girl.” he smiles pulling you to kiss him. you nod laying back on the bed. he pulls of your shirt slowly. “so pretty.” he can tell you are nervous from your constant shaking and how you keep looking away from him. “you sure angel? i don’t want you to be uncomfortable.” he asks again moving his hands away from your body. “yes yeosang. im sure i want this.” he nods at you words moving back over to you. slowly shifting between your legs pulling your pants down. “i’m gonna prep you okay? just like we always do.” he smiles before moving your panties to the side.

he slowly rubs your clit causing you to reach for his arm. he pushes one finger into your entrance causing you to gasp. “you okay angel?” he asks slowly his movements slightly. you just nod your head as your eyes close focusing on the pleasure. his focus is completely on you. watching your face as he speeds up his finger fucking it into you quicker. “y-yes so good.” your grip on his arm getting tighter. “can i add another finger?” he asks looking at you. “please do.” you add throwing your head back feeling another one of his thick long fingers enter you.

“angel you are doing so well yea?” he smiles as he kisses up your jaw softly. he curls his fingers deeper inside you. “r-right there yeosang oh my god.” his dick now even harder than it was before. “my perfect angel doing so well for me.” he continues you to curl his fingers into you. “can you take one more finger angel?” he asks slowly his movements down but not stopping completely. you nod quickly whimpering out for him.

he slides a third into you, still not taking his eyes off your face. “angel you are so wet. you’re clenching around my fingers are you close?” he is fucking you so good on his fingers. “s-so close yeo..” he loves that nickname. whenever you call him that he has to fight not to get a raging boner. “cum on my fingers angel i want to taste..” he is now kissing you all over while he fucks you onto his fingers.

“y-yeo im cumming!” you scream out cumming hard onto his fingers. he watches your cum coat his fingers. cursing under his breath as his fingers fuck you through your high. “so good angel. you made a pretty mess.” he smiles slowly pulling his fingers out of you. he puts them in his mouth sucking on them.

“you taste amazing angel. you ready? we will go as slow as you need okay?” he pushes his sweatpants and boxers down pulling out his cock pumping it a few times. “condoms angel?” he asks you before you hand him one out of the drawer. he rolls it down onto his dick lining up his dick with you. “you 100% sure?”

“yes yeo i want this so bad.” he rubs your cheek again and nods. “if you need to stop tell me and we will stop immediately okay? traffic light system.” you nod quickly looking down between your legs. he rubs his tip against your folds before barely pushing in. “you okay?” he says grabbing your hand to comfort you. you nod as a tear rolls down your face. he pushes another inch into you looking at your face again. “yeo-“ you say grabbing his shoulders trying to focus your mind on anything but the pain you feel. “yes angel? want me to pull out?” he squeezes your hand softly. you shake your head. “n-no you can put it in fully. just slowly please..” he listens to your words slowly bottoming out before stopping his movements. “f-fuck angel. you feel so good.” he groans slightly. “tell me when i c-can move.” he rubs your hand in his and kisses your head. you wait for a minute trying to adjust to his size.

“i think you can move yeo..” he nods slowly fucking into you. “shit you’re so tight.” all you can do is moan. “please fuck me harder it f-feels so good yeo.” you feel high on the feeling of his dick hitting your g-spot over and over. “fuck fuck.” he just watches as you squirm under him.

“y-yeo im sorry i think im gonna cum!” he groans at your words fucking you deeper but still not too fast. “mm its okay angel let go for me.”

yeosang has made you cum multiple times but none of them have been nowhere near how good this felt. your eyes shut tightly and you release what you assume is cum. “shit y/n you just squirted everywhere. you think you can do that again?”

his words startle you slightly not knowing you could do that. you open your eyes slowly seeing his abs and balls covered in your juices. “i-i don’t know i didn’t know i could do that.” you start to laugh as it quickly turns into a moan as yeosang kisses your neck. “can we try?” he smiles against your skin. “y-yea.” he fucks you deeper causing your body to shake as you see stars.

“fuck fuck im gonna cum.” his hips moving slower to stop him from cumming too quickly. you are sent over the edge. you cum hard ,squirting all over him again. he immediately cums watching you squirt on his abs again. “fuck angel that was so hot.” he pulls out kissing your head.

“yeo- there’s blood..” you say looking at your cunt. tears immediately fall from your face causing you to start hyperventilating.

“angel calm down for me okay? let me grab something i will be right back. he pulls his pants and boxers back off running quickly to the bathroom grabbing a warm towel and heading back to you on the bed. “can i help clean it up?” he asks. you nod quickly now sobbing in front of him. “okay angel.” he cleans you up so gently not trying to hurt you anymore that you might be hurting. “lets run you a bath okay?” he heads to the bathroom starting bath water for you. he comes back into your bedroom getting on the bed next to you.

“you okay my angel?” he is rubbing your side sweetly leaving kisses all over your face. “y-yea it just really scared me yeo.” he nods. “i know i know. don’t worry angel. we’re gonna get you in the bath and then we’re gonna rest the rest of the night okay. did i go to hard?” you shake your head. “no it was great! i-i don’t know why it freaked me out so much.” you sit up slightly.

“shh its okay angel. you have every right to be scared okay it was something new and you weren’t expecting that okay. no problem. now lets get you in the bath. ill give you a massage angel.” he lifts you up bridal style in the most gentle way. putting you down when you get in the bathroom. he helps you into the tub after asking you to check it the temperature is okay.

“just sit in here for a little okay? it will make you feel better. i will not leave your side unless you want me to.” he kisses your cheek sitting on the floor next to the tub holding you hand.

“i love you so much yeo.” you say pulling his face in to kiss him. “i love you more angel.” he smiles kissing back.

#ateez yeosang #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez fluff #ateez smut #ateez x reader #ateez scenarios #ateez #ateez imagines

[etoilesbienne]

out of curiosity, what are the common qEtoiles mischaracterizations, and the accurate characterizations you wished people used more? Sincerely, an English speaking fan who is re-learning French!

honestly i kind of consider it a mischaracterization when people like... make etoiles into this team leader who always knows what to do and move things forward. or like that he has a bad attitude to like... match his fighting skills. or like the dark knight brooding warrior. he says he is these things. these are lies. he lies about himself constantly. i wouldnt trust a good 2/3 of the things he says about himself to be true. you read him clearer through his actions than his statements.

in my opinion etoiles is more like. sturdy second in command. he's not there to lead, he's there to fill in the holes where they pop up. he's there as cover. he's quick witted in shortchange scenarios, but that is so not the same thing as a genuine strategist. in another expression, if someone is a leader, the leader is a doctor, etoiles's role is more like... the EMS team in an ambulance. He's not there to fix your problem, he's there to keep your problem covered until you can get someone else to fully fix it. but that doesn't mean his role is any less important when he's needed.

Etoiles is also, like, so very much a team player if he respects and trusts a person. And it is so easy to have his respect and trust. His trust starts at 100% for everyone. he's also so very very very good at reading people (gesture to the bbh clip where bbh moves his mouse slightly downward and etoiles calls him out on being depressed). He read Mousey as enjoying dungeons and pvp way more and wanting to hang out with her. He's also one of the only people who like continuously runs in the girlies group and makes all of them pvp with him and they all love it so he keeps coming back to pvp with them. Thats how he started his whole thing with Tina and pvping with her constantly. Reading other people also, he loves finding other pvpers so he attacks roier constantly now bc he knows roier can pvp.

What else OH Etoiles loves whining (and this is because Rayou loves whining) that dude will just complain constantly. You haven't seen an etoiles stream if youve never seen him whine. Can't say I'm not kind of endeared by it. With this too he loves over explaining things (RIP armor powerpoint wish you couldve been given...) because he wants to help everyone....

OH and he's very over exaggerated too in replying to people in a complaining way and a self deprecating way and also likes to try to push the envelope with people and he does all of that to try and get a laugh out of others. like he's well aware people find him going "Oh so you don't give a shit about me and want me to die ? you want etoiles to die ?" fucking hilarious and also loves complaining in the first place thats why he does that. if your etoiles isn't complaining and whining then it isn't etoiles. the self deprecating thing is... its interesting bc he does have full faith in his abilities but will never say it out loud unless its trying to reassure someone who is worried. pushing the envelope is so specific he won't do it too much and its like........... from what ive seen (correct me if im wrong) heavily directed at non francophones where if they laugh at something wack he's done he'll try to do it again to make them laugh more. shoutout to the time he made bbh laugh so much when he cursed he didn't get languaged by bbh so he kept cursing to try to make bbh do it again. the dudes a total people pleaser.

smaller thing ive talked about extensively already (u can prob find it in my q!etoiles tag if i remember i'll edit a link to the posts in here soon lol) etoiles hates losing he looooooves winning he's very intense about it lol. its cute!

on a final note even if you don't become deeply unwell about etoiles like i am i think this highlight clip video has like everything he's like condensed into like 11 minutes. You should watch it. It's a good starting point.

#qsmp #q!etoiles #asks #hope this helps. Ahehe

[nocturnowlette]

i have a really big thing for hypnotism in theory but in reality i can't actually be hypnotized and it's so upsetting :( like im sure i could be but i've never managed to focus hard enough and actually be hypnotized, not with actual audio or with text videos or with purely text scripts or anything and i don't know what im doing wrong or if im doing everything right and i just have an undiagnosed something or other

Alright folks, lets play a game of "trance diagnosis"!

There's a number of different common reasons that files (especially generalized files) would fail to hypnotize you. Let's go through them!

A. Being Afraid of Doing Things "Wrong"

One of the most common that I've seen is the idea that you need to do every suggestion and command the way the hypnotist intended and analyzing every commmand in order to do it "properly", and if they do not, the spell will be broken.

Simply put, the way you receive the command is the right way to receive it. Do what feels natural and don't read into it heavily, and just go with the flow. Trance is stubborn when you let yourself sink into it, and one or two commands or suggestions that don't work is not enough to shatter that unless you convince yourself that it is.

However you do it is correct.

B. Recursive Self-Analysis

This is related to the previous, but is the general idea of constantly analyzing your state of mind to see if trance is "working" and what effects are different than before. This takes your focus away from the session itself and almost dissociates you from it.

Just read or listen and try to vibe.

C. Pre-set Expectations for Trance

Trance will not take control from you, and it will almost certainly not feel the way you expect it to if you are new to trance. I have had sessions where I feel basically awake and was still deep in trance as well as sessions where I could hardly think or function.

Trance will not feel like anything else you've experienced exactly, and it is somewhat personal to you.

D. Believing You Cannot Be Hypnotized

Yes, believing you cannot be hypnotized does actually make it harder for you to go into trance. It's not impossible to (because trance is the natural consequence of several basic parts of our minds), but with something like generalized files, it can make it completely ineffective.

So far, I have never met someone immune to trance, from the deeply anxious to the deeply distractible. Every single one of them has dropped deeply for me. To be unable to go into trance would mean to be entirely unable to focus and for some part of your mind to be entirely absent.

Now, what are the solutions to this?

A. Learning How Hypnosis Works

In contrast to what you may think, learning how hypnosis works does not ruin its effectiveness, and, in fact, makes it more effective in many cases. The very first thing I do when introducing someone to trance is explaining, in full, how it works on the basic level. I do so while putting them into trance at the same time.

This clears up misconceptions and also leaves the subject more informed and more assured in themselves. It also has the effect of making them better protected against manipulation and abusive practices.

B. Finding a Hypnotist for a Personal Session

If you cannot seem to troubleshoot this yourself, it's best to find someone who knows how to tailor a session to you specifically. The person who asked this is anonymous so I cannot speak to you personally unless you reach out, but I myself could potentially help in some instances. That being said, I'm quite busy these days, so thats not a promise.

If anyone else has questions, do not be afraid to send in an ask, I love answering them. Have a nice day, everyone.

#owlette #hypnosis #text hypnosis #hypnotist #hypnotism #hypnotic #hypnotized #hypnok1nk #hypnosub

[mikaela-the-slut-expert]

rrriiight i was thinking of a hualian x reader thing. the reader is a bit cold and apathetic but caring of two certain people and had been all the way through with hualian like for example, had served xie lian when he was still a prince or helped hong er from time to time. but somehow they just vanished and never came back.

surprise surprise, whilst hualian and some other gods were on a mission, they got attacked let’s say (or were in danger) and guess who came to save them? reader! and thats when it clicks for hualian. that was you. you weren’t gone. so- they never let you get away ever again.

just an idea that came to mind :D

In the Back of Your Mind

Hua Cheng x gn!reader x Xie Lian

I'm so sorry it took so long! I try to put my life updates in my bio, but I've been very busy moving houses! So I'm rlly sorry and I hope this is good!

I didn't know if you wanted reader to be a ghost or a god but I made them a ghost

Because gods don't usually disappear for like ever? Idk uhm if you don't like that just tell me and I'll edit it!

Made up a scenario that puts Xie Lian and Hua Cheng at a disadvantage

Ignore grammar mistakes

Slight OOC!!!

Made up details about reader and their life

____________________________________

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are very happy with their relationship and their life

But something's missing

Someone's missing

They haven't seen you in a very, very long time

It's been centuries actually and you still haven't shown up

But they haven't forgotten you, even though you've been missing or maybe even dead they still think about you in the back of their head.

Xie Lian misses you dearly

You had served Xie Lian during XianLe and had always been by his side.

You took your job seriously and it was your first priority to keep Xie Lian happy

You served him well and fought for him too

Your loyalty to Xie Lian was deep and everyone could see it

Everyone knew you loved him besides Xie Lian of course.

Because it was obvious! You wouldn't utter a word to anyone else

Your presence was a cold force to anyone besides Xie Lian

You were always quick to create space with anyone who came near him too.

It seemed like you couldn't care less for anyone else's problems but Xie Lian's.

Not that it mattered to you, as long as you could stay by his side it didn't matter what you were

Whether you were his servant or guard, whether you were next to him or below him, whether he used you as a step or tool.

You never minded, you'd do anything for him even if he wouldn't do those things.

You stayed by his side when Mu Qing and Feng Xin disappeare

You stayed when his palace fell

When his parents died

When Xie Lian started on a bad path

When he turned meaner, rougher, and angrier so that he wouldn't be hurt by the world again

When he grieved because he had been done wrong

You stayed with Xie Lian for as long as you could, and you loved him deeply every second of it.

But then someone took you from Xie Lian.

You never came back

Hua Cheng misses you just as dearly.

You took care of Xie Lian so well and then you just disappeared

When Hong er as caught by Xie Lian obviously he couldn't take care of Hong er by himself

But when Xie Lian was busy, everyone else was too disgusted to touch him

And Hong er didn't want to be in anyone else's arms either

You were different though, even though you were a servant like Mu Qing and Feng Xin you reacted differently

You held Hong er gently, as if the mongrel child would fall to pieces in your arms

You wouldn't let anyone touch him or try to kick him out of the palace

Always quick, you would settle a cold glare on someone if they tried to pull Hong er from your arms

Taking care of Hong er was just as serious as taking care of Xie Lian to you

You spent a lot of time with His Cheng like that

So after Hua Cheng's first death he searched and searched and searched

He never found the two of you

When Hua Cheng had finally found Xie Lian he was so excited to finally see you both again!

Even though he doesn't want to reveal his secret just yet, he hopes the two of you won't find him disgusting for his actions

But. . . You weren't there.

Don't get him wrong Hua Cheng is very happy to see one of the loves of his life after searching so long but you have never left Xie Lian's side so where are you?

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng continued their relationship and their story without you

Which was unfortunate but what could they do?

They had both tried to search for you and found you no where

Things are always changing though

🦊🪷

It was just another mission, and it should've been quick and easy. Especially since Xie Lian and Hua Cheng tagged along. Hua Cheng was only here for Xie Lian though, no one else. The mission didn't go smoothly though.

Missions rarely go smoothly when you're in the dark woods, with lots of monsters, and a heavy fog covers the forest. Not smooth at all when lower gods are bickering with Hua Cheng and Xie Lian.

They all got lost and wherever they ended up in these dark woods, had a block on the arrays. Xie Lian can't call for help or reach the heavens and neither can the other gods. What's worse! Powers are blocked too! It's like they've all stumbled upon an area of complete silence as if they were muted.

So even Hua Cheng is struggling a little bit right? Can't break the blocking energy source if you can't find it! Of course the gods all split up, leaving Xie Lian and Hua Cheng alone. It doesn't matter to Hua Cheng if his powers have been weakened or not he'll still do everything he can to protect Xie Lian from the monsters in the woods.

The more time Xie Lian and Hua Cheng stand around in the fog the more things they see. The deeper they go, the thicker the fog gets. And the thick the fog gets the more people they start to see the more things they start to see. It's not a good thing though, it's all illusions and they figured that out quickly when Hua Cheng swipes at a humanoid figure that looks just like Xie Lian.

Xie Lian doesn't have the time to solve the problem because him and Hua Cheng have a big possibility of being hurt right now. E-ming and rouye refuse to move. Hua Cheng will happily use his body and hands to defend Xie Lian if he has to though. Xie Lian says that's silly and chooses to run, dragging Hua Cheng along with him. The foggy ghosts only chase, and it's hard to run in such thick fog.

In fact the fog is so thick that eventually after running so long the ghosts give up on running after them. Xie Lian thought they were safe now but when he looks back Hua Cheng is gone.

Xie Lian shouts for him and tries to look around but the more he looks around the fog the more humanoid figures he sees. they're just. . . Fog. If Xie Lian could see Hua Cheng right now and he still wouldn't know if it was the real one.

The fog is dangerous, creating illusions of people Xie Lian already knows or things from his past, trying to trick him. He's only more lost and he doesn't know how to get out of this mess. It's actually very stressful, how does the fog know all these things, how is it forming the people he used to know and love?

Hua Cheng is in the same predicament. He wanders around the fog and at one point he thought he found Xie Lian again but when his hand wrapped around Xie Lian's arm, the figure turned in vapor. They're both lost. They're both being surrounded by crowds of foggy figures.

Just before the foggy figures are able to touch them the fog disperses though. A loud screech Is heard in the air, a sudden cold breeze blowing past Xie Lian and Hua Cheng, then the fog settles down. It turns out they weren't that far from each other at all and Xie Lian has never run into Hua Cheng's arms faster.

When they both see a foggy figure again they get nervous. One, because the fog has dispersed so they thought they were safe now. Two, it looks like you. Xie Lian already hates the fog he's already seen awful things but he doesn't want to see you like this. Not the fake you.

He can't help but tear up when 'you' try to urge him to come forward, but with the fog gone so is the blocked energy. Xie Lian shoots rouye out, trying to make the awful sight go away by rouye wraps around a surprisingly very sturdy wrist. You grip on rouye and pull Xie Lian forward a little, uttering a small "Dianxia, Hong er"

They know it's you, even though it seems so unbelievable. Xie Lian is literally jumping on you and knocking you to the ground. Hua Cheng manages to act a little more suave but he'd be a liar to say he isn't astonished. It's just a big pile of tears, embraces, and "I love you's".

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng waste no time bringing you home, they cling on to you desperately. Even if you just want to explore Paradise Manor it doesn't matter, both of them are at your side. They absolutely refuse to let you go. As if they're scared, if they look away you'll vanish again. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng just won't let that happen! They love you very much and they've missed out many years of loving and caring for you. They plan to repay all the missed affections

____________________________________

Uhhhh here it is! I hope it's good 🤔 honestly I feel a little eh about this but let me know what y'all think 🖤I don't know if this is exactly what you were imagining anon but if it wasn't this make another submission in like deeper, exact details and I'll try again okay!

#tgcf #tgcf headcanon #hualian #hualian x reader #tgcf x male reader #hua cheng x reader #tgcf hua cheng #tgcf hualian #tgcf xie lian #xie lian x reader #mxtx tgcf

[suw4]

Realisations and Apologies

Kita Shinsuke from Haikyuu!!

an/tw: just kita being mean. and woahhh no way? a new update? thats crazy. okay have fun reading. sorry if my writing is a little rusty

Masterlist | Haikyuu!! Masterlist

It is known for Kita Shinsuke to have a strict routine. No matter what obstacles he may encounter, he will never let it disturb his peace. However, there was an annoying bug that had been flying by his ear. Disturbing his line of work. Putting all of this strict timely routine to break. This greatly frustrates the dual haired wing spiker more than the irritating behaviours from the Miya twins.

[Name], a libero whom he met from the volleyball club at Junior High. Someone who he deeply cares for and who returns the same exact feelings towards him. Shinsuke was never the one to like people pitying him. That's another thing that he hates. However, with [Name], it never felt like that. It was like the light that guided his pathway to success. It was normal. Everything felt normal. Maybe that was the reason why he accepted the [h/c] haired's confession.

Unfortunately for the wing spiker, it was a terrible add-on to his routine. No, [Name] is not even in his routine at all. The libero would change Shinsuke's routine frequently. Often asking him out for a date. For practice. For anything. Even if it means to get a small chance to chat with his lover. [Name] only thoughts were that he wanted to spend time with his boyfriend. For Shinsuke, it was disturbing his peace. The dual haired male never thought it would. Ever. Yet, it did. And it was frustrating him more than it should.

Practice just ended, and everyone was walking out of the gymnasium to get home. "Suke~, let's go on a date tonight! What do you think? We should get dinner as well. I'm sure you're exhausted from using that amazing brain of yours for the team," [Name] chuckled, walking side by side with his lover. Reaching down to intertwine his fingers with his. Unexpectedly, Shinsuke yanked his arm away from the other, surprising him. He stared at him in shock, including with a few teammates who were watching from behind.

"Quit it," he blunty demanded before continuing his walk out of the gym. "Ah- Suke? Is something wrong-?"

"Yes. It's you. You're disrupting my routine. Every time you ask me out, you ruin it. So quit it. We have gone to enough dates now," he snapped back. [Name] was taken aback by his boyfriend's sudden change in behaviour. But he tries to laugh it off. "What am I then if I'm not asking you out ever so often?" he teased with a lighthearted laugh. Only get shut down immediately. Completely shut down.

"You're my boyfriend who couldn't do well in the sport that he loves," Suddenly there was ringing in [Name]'s ears. He was left speechless. Eyes widening at Shinsuke's words. The other members were shocked by that as well. That was the first time Shinsuke has ever belittled someone like that. To make it worse, he was talking about his own boyfriend.

"O-Oi, Kita. You can't talk about [Name] like that. He works harder than all of us," Aran called out to him, trying to stop these lovers before a quarrel starts. But it only seemed to add more oil to the fire. "And why is that? With your sloppy receives, there's a reason why you weren't cut out to be our regular libero. Akagi is better than you. You lack intelligence and plays. That's what makes you a bad player. Hence, Akagi is more talented in that area. You just exist to be an unsuccessful subtitute that will drag us down for future roads to nationals,"

A sense of dread filled [Name]'s whole body. Wondering why Shinsuke was saying all this. But it annoys him because it's true. After Junior High, [Name] could not bring out his full potential like he used to. He looks down to his arms, seeing all the red marks from receiving powerful spikes from Aran and the other wonderful hitters in the team. He stayed silent for a moment until another third year spoke up.

Akagi jolted when he heard his name being mentioned. Upon hearing what the team captian had said, he came to [Name]'s aid. "Kita! You shouldn't be harsh to [Name]! He genuinely works hard! Just like the rest of us. He always asks tips from me. He's pretty determined when it comes to his position!" he encouraged the [h/c] head. Patting his back as a way to say that he did well. "A substitute libero," the captian retorted.

"Are you saying that I'm not good enough for this team?" [Name] blurted out. Everyone seemed to visibly shake hearing that. Then, the substitute libero let out an exhilarated sigh. "You're right. I should've worked harder. Sorry, captain',"

"Also," Shinsuke started. Facing the front where the grym doors are. "I would like to break up with you. So please. Don't ever come to me again," he proposed. [Name] could only bite his lower lip harshly. "Woah, isn't that too much, Kita?" Suna furrowed his brows a little. Shinsuke actively ignores him and takes a step forward. Leaving everyone to go home.

The ones left in the gymnasium looked at [Name] in pity. All of them came to his side, trying to comfort him to their best. But [Name] could only brush it off. Pretending that it was one of Inarizaki's harsh critiques.

The very next day, it was lunch period. Both Shinsuke and Omimi were taking out their lunchboxes to eat in class. Omimi looked over to the other. "Are you not going to eat with [Name]? Usually, you two eat together somewhere quiet,"

"[Name] and I have separated," he replied, lifting the lid open. "So it's true then. You guys have broken up," he took a bite from his bento. "So I've heard from [Name]. I've also heard from coach that he had stepped down from volleyball. He said he would rather focus on his studies and that he wished us good luck for nationals,"

"Good for him,"

"Are you not surprised? You two may have broken up, but don't you still care about one another? He relies on you a lot,"

"I know that very well," that puts a tense atmosphere between them. Anyone else in the classroom would feel suffocated. Omimi stared at the other in disbelief. "I misjudged your character, Kita. I never knew you would be this heartless," That was the first time he was ever described by something so negative.

A week has passed and after school practice came around. Everything was going well. Except something was missing. Someone was missing. However, Shinsuke maintains his observation with his current team.

The coach entered the gymnasium with a piece of clothing draped over his arm. He let out a sigh and called the boys for a short meeting. He had informed them that one of the third years had stepped down. "As some of you realise, [Name] has stopped coming to practice. The reason is that he had decided to step down from the club. Due to him studying, he won't be able to be here and watch you guys play at Spring High. I'm just here to deliver a message from him. He only wishes all of you the best for the nationals," he announced. Aside from the boys being freaked out by it, Atsumu was the first one to speak up defensively. "What?! There's no way we can continue without [N/n]!! He's the only one who could receive this guy's spikes!" he argued, pointing at Suna with his thumb. Suna glared at him in return.

"Seriously, why the sudden leave? Is there another reason? He loves volleyball! It's so obvious that you could see it in his face," he continued to ramble on. The coach only shook his head, saying that there was no other reason. Though a few may think they knew the answer. But everything is alleged. The only true reason will come out once [Name] says it with his own mouth.

Everyone took notice of the clothing that their coach had. It was a jersey, freshly washed and dried. They read the number on it. Number 16. The number that [Name] wore. For some reason, that made everyone's heart feel heavy. While a certain someone felt extremely guilty.

There Shinsuke was. Standing in front of his ex-boyfriend's house. It has come to a realisation how [Name] would rarely allow him to get into his house. He has been there once. Never been there again. It felt a little foreign for the male. But that's not the main reason why he's there.

He stepped forward and gave a couple of knocks. Footsteps came fading it, making blood rush through his body. A little tinge of hope that the [h/c] head would answer. The door clicked, and a long screech sounded. It wasn't [Name] who answered the door, but his father.

"Kita Shinsuke? What are you doing here?" the male asked with a raised brow. "Is [Name] home?" he took a bow before asking. "Yes. He is. Studying his in his room. I'm so glad he stepped down from volleyball. Surely, who wants their son to go through something he can't do? Sure, he used to be a prodigy, but it's better if he focused on his studies. I'm also glad that you were able to get him to leave that club. How did you do it?" he smiled, placing his hand on his hips. That only made Shinsuke eat his guts. He couldn't say much from that. He didn't dare to explain how much he hurt his son from saying unnecessary things.

The dual haired shook his head. "Can I speak with [Name] for a moment?" he politely asked. "Of course. He has been in his room for all day long right after he came back from school. He has been quiet as usual. I'm sure he's tired. Oh. Speak of the devil," he trailed off, hearing someone climbing down the stairs. "Oh. Kita?" [Name] mumbled, walking towards his father. He gave him a look as a signal for him to leave them alone. After the older male left, he smiled at the wing spiker. "What are you doing here?"

"I would like to talk to you, [Name]," Shinsuke fiddled his fingers a little. His body seem to be itching to move. "I'm sorry, Kita but--" the taller male was about to deny but the other leap himself into a tight hug with him. [Name] was a little dumbfounded but didn't return the hug.

"OHHH MY GOD----"

Everyone now was in [Name]'s bedroom. Everyone meaning the whole volleyball club members. Apparently, all of then were stalking Shinsuke and ended up there. Currently, they were kneeling on the floor while Shinsuke and [Name] sat on the bed. "We're sorry, [N/n]!!" Atsumu wept. "We? Who's we? You dragged us here!" Osamu exclaimed, hitting his twin's head with his fist. The others seemingly nodding in agreement. "[N/n]... Why did you leave us? Don't you love volleyball anymore? Do you hate us now?!" the blonde twin whined while crawling up to the older's legs. He sighed heavily and glanced to the side. "I don't hate you guys. I left because I rather focus on my future,"

"Volleyball isn't part of your future anymore?" the younger ask. His shoulders fell, exhausted. "Volleyball is no longer fun if you're not good at it," Some of them furrowed their brows at that statement. "Of course. For the ones that happened to be there that day, no, it wasn't because of Kita. He only made me realised how much I hate volleyball," he paused for a moment, sensing his ex's subtle shift on the bed. "Some of you think Kita breaking up with me was wrong-"

"YOU GUYS BROKE UP??" Atsumu yelled. "You idiot, obviously they are. [N/n] calls him Kita now," his twin shoved him. The rest only sighed heavily in annoyance. "As I was saying, I agree with you. It was horrible. Never felt so shitty in my entire life. At the worst time of my life too," he sighed, rubbing down his thighs. That piqued everyone's interest. Questioning onto their senior's life.

"My parents have never been so supported of me playing Volleyball. Everyday they discourage me but I had every one of you to keep my spirits up. Until as of late. Exams are coming close and my parents has bugging me excessively about quitting the club. It was getting to me to the point I couldn't play as how I used to. So when Kita told me that all of that, it felt like I didn't have no ways to move on," he ended his explanation there. Silence dominated the atmosphere.

Arms suddenly wrapped around the older's neck. It was Shinsuke's. Pulling him into another hug. "I'm sorry, [Name]," he uttered, tightening his embrace. The other exhaled as he melted into the hug, wrapping his arms back. "I shouldn't have said that about you. You are an amazing volleyball player. An amazing libero. An amazing boyfriend too," he mumbled into the crook of the [h/c]'s neck. The male could feel his skin feeling a little wet.

That was the first time in a while where Shinsuke said more than one sentence. Other than the time when he literally berated his own boyfriend right in front of his teammates. Overwhelm filled [Name] as he grabbed a fistful of the back of other's jacket and began sobbing. This triggered the boys to tear up as well. One by one, they stood up from their spot and hug the two. Slowly building up a group hug.

In the end, everyone went home. [Name] and Shinsuke called. The dual haired initiated the call first. Apologizing and apologizing. This time he was careful with his words. The two finally made up and got together again.

The next day, [Name] showed up for the team's practice hours. However, he was only there to send Shinsuke to the gym since he had already made the decision to stop playing for the team and focused on his education instead. He had to leave right after but Atsumu had found himself clinging onto him. Begging him to not leave. [Name] eventually gave in and watched them play for a few minutes.

Shinsuke stood by his boyfriend with a water bottle in hand. He silently slid his fingers in between the taller male's. Locking it in hold. He didn't say anything but [Name] could still feel the guilt radiating off of him. Then he felt weight leaning onto him. Shinsuke laying his head onto his shoulders. "Are you tired?" he asked. The volleyball player only nodded. He hummed softly. "Okay. If you don't mind, I will pick you up once it's finished. Or do you want to keep sticking to your routine?" A gentle squeeze from their connected hands gave him the answer that he needed. So, he hummed once more. "Okay then. I'll pick you up once it's over," he says, turning to look at his lover and leaned down for a simple peck on the head. A small smile reached Kita Shinsuke's lips.

#x male reader #top male reader #male reader #fanfic #haikyuu #haikyuu x male reader #haikyuu x reader #kita shinsuke #kita shinsuke x male reader #kita shinsuke x reader

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for the way I dated people in high school?

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥 so i can find it later

I am like pretty sure I'm TA but I would like second opinions on this because a lot of factors are complicated and makes me wonder if i was 100% in the wrong or not.

When I was in high school (14-17NB) i had dated three people.

(I know for sure that I had been TA with my first girlfriend M because when we dated i liked her a lot but not enough to feel anything romantic and as soon as I realized I didn't like her as much as she liked me i broke it off to spare her any long term pain. We remained friends, but I think she and eventually my ex friends held some sort of resentment against me for being fickle.)

The main issues were with my second and third partners.

Firstly, I dated my second partner A (we were 15 then) out of pity because her ex treated her terribly. I didn't like her back, nor did i really pretend to, i just wanted to be the one to take care of her because it seemed that no one else in her life was looking out for her.

Then a mutual "friend" S (14M) told me she cheated on me. While I was not into A romantically I still felt betrayed for some reason I am not sure i understand even now. When i confronted her, she told me this mutual friend was unreliable and wanted to break us up. I believed this because S was a creep towards the both of us. (Later, S would stalk me for about 6 years but thats a different story).

But then A asked if we could have an open relationship, and I got upset but agreed because i was too much of an idiot to say no.

After more time, A and i grew apart and she started expressing interest in other people in front of me that i tried at every opportunity to break up with her because i was just over it. But everytime I'd almost bring up the subject she'd do something romantic and sweet to me and i felt like an asshole for wanting to break up with her, so i didn't. Eventually, I just updated my online profile to single to be done with it, which i know for sure was a dick move.

Later, A and I (both 17) met someone online named Y(19NB) who was nice enough, but i didn't feel anything romantic for. Instead, i was interested in another person named R(17M). But R didnt return my feelings and i felt really sad, so A pressured me into a relationship with Y and i agreed because I was still an idiot I guess.

I was still thinking about R, so A flirted with R to "get me to focus on Y". I will not say what exactly happened between them but it was horrible enough for me to feel deeply betrayed and hurt. Obviously, I could not focus on Y and because Y's friends were cyberbullying me and threatening my life because they assumed that I would naturally hurt Y's feelings due to my dating history that i just decided to be a massive dickhead and break it off with them shortly after.

When Y started to cry and everyone was calling me a villain for doing that I gave up and just let them assume the worst of me. (Later on it turned out that Y and all their cyberbullying friends were all accounts run by one person claiming to have DID but thats another story).

I still want a romantic relationship but I worry I'll mess it up for being fickle so I havent entered any since high school. I wouldn't do some of the things I did back then. I am much more honest now about rejecting people. I guess my fear of saying no was to blame. But I would like to know if I was in the wrong 100%.

So AITA?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[magnoliasandbeardedtooth]

thinking about the relationship between sif and the universe, and related theories / headcanons aka I listened to a song and I need to get these feefees out of me

this is a lot of prelude for something that can be shown with just the video clip, but I want to include all the strings that make up this knot

Its not explicitly stated, but I believe it's pretty clear that whenever sif repeats something three times while hoping for something (sharpening the keyknife, carving in general, praying to the change god statue in dormont), he is performing wish craft.

however, he doesnt repeat anything three times when getting the keyknife. he doesnt even need to pray to get it at all, the change god just gives it to him. they say themselves that they dont care for rituals. they never even take credit for the stat buff, they only take credit for the keyknife

when sif changes how they pray at the change god statue, their method more strongly resembles the ritual to make a wish at the favor tree (picking the one you like best), and as a result the buff gets better. it is the wish craft ritual that is the important part of the prayer to that statue, not the change god

one thing that IS explicitly stated is just how powerful wish craft is for those who know the rituals, and how dangerous it is in the wrong hands. between the disappearance of colors (Im pretty sure that was the result of a wish, I may be misremembering), the disappearance of the country, and the king being nearly successful in freezing all of vaugarde in time, it only takes one wish to take out massive chunks of the world at a time

we know that wish craft is very entwined in the culture of the country (the story written about in the journal is told as a cautionary fairy tale, the rituals themselves are so deeply ingrained in sif that the wish to forget the country did not restrict his memory of the rituals, and he can perform wish craft without even being fully aware he is doing it)

it seems reasonable to me that the reason for the country's disappearance was to hide the existence of wish craft and the rituals to access that power from the rest of the world. considering sif didnt even remember his culture AND had good intentions, and still nearly ended the world, seems like that concern is pretty well founded. however, thats not the important theory Im making this post about

the country has knowledge of wish craft in conjunction with worship of the universe. "the universe leads, we can only follow," "the universe willed it," seems pretty safe to say that sif's Universe is the "entity" that is granting wishes

the way wishes are described, they dont seem like something the universe grants based on who worships it. as long as you know the ritual, you get the wish. everyone is part of the universe, after all, worshiper or not

Admittedly, its a bit of a stretch to say that the universe as a collective force has any sense of empathy for human struggles. but using the change god as an example, as spiteful as they are to sif, and unsympathetic to anything other than a human's role in the concept of change, they still show a great deal of care and favor to mira, someone who loves them. it is possible for a deity to care for those that care about it

sif, despite no longer having access to his culture or why he cares about the universe, still loves the universe, very very deeply, just as much as mira loves change. the change god says that sif's deity will never answer him, but I dont think thats the case

and this is the important headcanon that I am making this post for

sif is performing the rituals, so he gets the wishes, simple as. but I feel strongly that his wishes getting granted in very small but noticeable ways, despite not knowing how or why hes doing it, is the presence of his universe helping him, caring for him, even when he doesnt remember it

the strongest evidence for this, and the basis for this whole thing, is exactly how euphrasie breaks down in act 5

at first I only really noticed when she laughs, it reminded me very much of how the change god, a being who uses sprites of other characters and has done a whole possession, laughed during their encounter. they and euphrasie are the only two that use anything other than "ha," and right after this laugh is when her breakdown pauses and she says the lines

"... Soon you'll be able to go back to your normal lives. Away from battle and strife. Finally, you'll all be able to go home!!!"

which, knowing the end of the game is coming, is incredibly relevant. very deliberate

before this pause, her breakdown seems pretty chaotic. the characters and the player are just coming out of one harrowing experience, and are clearly headed for another. the cohesiveness of this glitchy breakdown amongst a mess of the rest of the world doing the same isnt really high up on the list of priorities. none of the characters notice anything beyond the fact that reality is breaking, not even sif. it just sounds like scary nonsense.

but with the context of euphrasie being possessed to talk to sif, every single one of her lines makes perfect sense

(footage from Zhain Gaming on yt)

the universe is there its talking directly to him, it was there the whole time

the Universe loves Sif so much

#isat #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat act 5 spoilers #I have no idea how obvious this is or if its old news #since I havent seen anyone else talk about it #but the relationship between sif and the universe makes me emotional #I wrote this at 3 am based on memory #at first I wasnt too confident in it since it was only based on the laugh and the lines that follow it #this was just something that made me happy that I was gonna keep no matter what #but when I went back to look at the lines and found that every one lined up‚ I cried #anyway #I wanted to write this whole thing after listening to Secret For The Mad by Dodie under the lens of the universe talking to siffrin #special shoutout to pidgey who joked that the universe was adrienne actually #they were goofing but as a high concept meta art thing I can definitely appreciate #speaks

[carpedzem]

hi

under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think

i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place

i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me

about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:

i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution

i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting

you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people

edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims

twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst

okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more

now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)

in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock

im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha

on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you

see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk

and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger

[roxanneprismsrobot]

A lot of ppl get mad at me when i say that nobody should feel bad for john juniper but ppl should feel bad for Roxanne Prism so im gonna explain why i am right abt this

John juniper was rich, a beloved actor, rich, everyone loved him, oh and did i mention he was rich? This man was so rich he owned a PRIVATE JET. Not to mention he had enough to buy a HUGE MANSION, and if i can remember correctly he has more than one mansion. And dont even get me STARTED on Gibson and practically everything else this rich man named john had. It was completely his fault that he lost everything. Now you may ask, “Why did he lose everything? How did what happen become his fault?” Well, the answer is simple. HE WAS POWER HUNGRY. This man had everything, yet he was willing to throw it away just so he could have a little more. He wasn’t manipulated, he was hungry for more, even though he had so much. Its all his fault.

Now Roxanne on the other hand,

She was once loved for making the telekinesis implant, but then was practically just ignored. She made an invention, her robots, that she thought was amazing, just to be shut down by the eod. And like she said in her speech in the credit scene, she just wanted to make something that would outlast her, that people would love, that she would get praised for, and the eod just ignored her. All she wanted was to be seen again, but the eod refused to do that, so she went to Zoraxis, not for revenge, but for somebody to actually care about her and her inventions. She gave up the kinesium research in hope of Zor noticing her, but Zor went behind her back and made project kboom. She was extremely hurt about this too, showing she didn’t expect it, and truly was at her ends wit, which we can see during her speech at the end of mission cold shoulder. That speech genuinely breaks me because you can hear the pain in her voice, you can hear how she just wanted to be loved again, and nobody would acknowledge her and her robots she cared deeply about, which were just exploded right before that speech, so know she genuinely had nothing left. Not to mention she obviously didn’t care if she lived or not in mission kboom, since she told agent Phoenix to just leave her to die when she almost fell in the lava, not to mention she gave up so quickly on stoping Zor from exploding the kinesium when she almost fell, since she immediately said it was useless and to just give up. She was so mentally destroyed that if you don’t feel bad for her there is obviously something wrong with you.

Thats it, if you still think im wrong you are obviously the one who is wrong! xoxo

#i expect you to die #john juniper #i expect you to die 2 #agent phoenix #ieytd3 #ieytd fandom #fabricator ieytd #handler ieytd #zoraxis #ieytd2 #ieytd #ieytd spoilers

[lakesbian]

rachel and alec are specifically interesting to me re the undersider Situations as of early worm posting. thats right for the first time in my life im saying rachel specifically is interesting to me. everyone on the team is at least a bit lonely i think but it's so loud and obvious with rachel, because she's loud and obvious about everything. she's a disabled teen who's been homeless since she was very young. she was deeply abused by the foster home system, and the legal system responded to her wounded and confused outbursts as an autistic child by criminalizing her and hunting her down. she can't exist in public without the cops being called. society has done everything to demonstrate that it doesn't want her, and then blames her when she doesn't trust people.

brian says that the undersiders are the closest thing she can have to friends. alec says that they're the closest thing she has to a family. (which is an entire can of worms in itself wrt alec's relation to the undersiders.) and both of those things are true, but there's also something so tragic in their assumption that their tenuous connection w/ rachel where she can only just barely tolerate them is the best she can ever have. they're the only people she can even remotely trust to have her back or treat her somewhat fairly instead of fucking her over, but they're still fundamentally considering her beyond close connection, less of a friend or someone to attempt befriending and more of someone to keep on a leash. of course taylor is the only one to actually get close to her--taylor is the only one who tries to engage with her, as a person, on rachel's own terms, instead of begrudgingly tolerating her. rachel :(

& alec is the other team member who's in the Extra Lonely Isolation Club...he gets silly with the team sometimes, he has his little teenage banter w/ brian, he and lisa are clearly very familiar with each other in the way ppl who've been living together for a year and a half are. it's really good for him. it's the first time in his entire life he's gotten to have a consistent home with his own belongings, and he's getting to have it because he's part of the undersiders. the undersiders are literally the first people in his entire life that approach counting as a friendship. he gets SO FUCKING MAD!!! when he leaps to assuming that rachel stole the money from them. he gets So Mad he immediately goes "i vote we kill her" and then goes on a seething rant about how he wouldn't have thought she'd do that since the undersiders are the closest she has to family, but apparently she would. and the projection is so obvious! he's not wrong about applying the sentiment to rachel, but there's a reason he goes farther than brian's "closest she has to friends" and into the more intimate territory of "closest she has to family"--the two-way street there means that the undersiders are the closest he has to family, and the idea of being betrayed by one of them hurts enough to trigger the aggression he always displays when he's feeling vulnerable.

and he still doesn't tell them Jack Shit. he obviously lies to them all the fucking time, because brian is under the impression that he "dropped out" of school, when the reality is that he never went. even lisa brings up heartbreaker to taylor without any awareness that he's the father of the boy she's been living with for over a year. alec spends most of the early arcs in worm in dissociative, depressed fugues. the other undersiders have lengthy conversations where they're sharing personal info and he's just trailing along behind them, not speaking for so long that even the readers can forget he's there. lonely broken little shell of a boy who is so empty all of the time and does not even know it. aisha cannot get here fast enough if i have to see him being depressed and disconnected for one (1) more chapter i will explode

#wormtime 2 #wormtime 2 arc 4 #wormblr #parahumans

[defiantdreemurrs]

after finally watching madoka movie 3 i am 100% convinced the internet hates homura because they misunderstood her completely

the only crime you could ever pin on her is that she considers herself lesser than madoka and therefore is convinced she has to sacrifice herself so madoka can be happy

the same crime madoka herself is guilty of

both of these girls feel so much love for each other and yet they also feel so little for themselves, both of these girls are convinced the only way they can make each other happy is if they accept an eternity of suffering, and both of these girls practically leap at the chance to suffer for eternity if it makes their beloved happy

the only thing homura ever did wrong was to not love herself, and i honestly cant fault her for anything else as a result

the things she did for madoka are expressions of how much she loved madoka, as well as how little she loved herself, and i cant help but relate as someone who is so deeply filled with self loathing yet so madly in love that i would gladly sacrifice myself for her

homura isnt a villain, shes not evil, she willingly damned herself and occupied the role of the dissenter, the rebel, lucifer morningstar, solely so madoka could be happy in a world where her family was safe, she and her friends didnt have to fight witches, and homura could still be with her

which is something madoka herself did too, shes only doing what madoka did, but because she accepted her role as the devil to madokas god everyone sees her as pure evil and thats the whole POINT of the god vs devil imagery in the movie is to comment on how what we see as “good” and “evil” are so heavily dependent on framing and aesthetic and how those things can make two girls doing the exact same thing appear to be completely in opposition

the point of madoka isnt that homura is evil or that she shouldnt be so obsessed with madoka or that shes wrong for loving madoka as much as she does, the point of madoka is that you should love yourself and subjecting yourself to endless self sacrifice because you think so little of yourself is only going to hurt those you love and possibly to the point of locking you into a neverending cycle of self sacrifice in opposition to your beloveds own self sacrifice

the only thing homura ever did wrong was to not love herself as much as she loved madoka, because she certainly deserves to

(in other words, in case you misunderstood me: homura did basically nothing wrong and all her actions in movie 3 are justified she just kinda needs to love herself and i theorize movie 4 to resolve things essentially by having madoka show her that neither of them has to be so self sacrificing because its so very clear that this is the only thing she ever does wrong and that madoka has also been doing the exact same thing and that both are at fault and they just kinda need to stop escalating this endless cycle of self sacrifice, and one more time explicitly homura did nothing fucking wrong and becoming the devil to lift the weight of the world off of her beloveds shoulders is both a deep expression of love for madoka and a show of how little she loves herself)

#madoka magica #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm madoka #pmmm #homura akemi #akemi homura #pmmm homura #madoka rebellion

[carboysandbikemen]

Fernando fucking you in your childhood bedroom? Fernando wanting you to call him daddy the whole entire time? Fernando whispering in your ear that he wants to breed you? I- besties thoughts have been thunk and literally I cannot think of anything else. Head empty, only daddy fernando wanting to corrupt you. Thank y’all SO MUCH for this🥵

Daddy Fernando wont leave our thoughts either! Hope you enjoy some more thoughtssss:

He would so nice and respectful in front of everyone else, acting like the perfect gentleman to win everyone over, and he would. Your family would absolutely love him.

When no-ones looking, he'd run his hand a little lower down your back, making you look up at him as he stands there with an innocent smile on his face. At dinner, he'd casually put his hand on your thigh, making sure no one could see as he draws it up higher whilst talking with everyone normally. Fully expecting you to keep quiet like a good girl for him as he has his fun.

After you've said goodnight to everyone, he'd take some time to walk around your room, teasing you slightly for the things you have in it as you sit there desperately worked up from earlier. He knows though. He can see how much you want him and he takes his time.

He'd eventually come over to you, pushing you gently down onto the bed and telling you that if you're good and quiet for him he will fuck you properly, just like you need.

He would slip his hand down into your pyjamas, capturing your mouth with his to stifle your moans. He'd tell you how wet you are for him, laughing gently as he kisses you.

"What do you want?" He'd ask. He loves making you ask for it, to beg for him, to say it for him.

"Please, I need you to fuck me, I need you inside me." You breathe out.

"I think you're forgetting something, no?"

You'd realise what he wants straight away and you look up at his cocky little grin.

"Fernando." You'd whine, not quite sure what you're trying to say.

"No. Say it."

"They're right next door." You'd try and protest and he grins down at you.

"Whisper it then baby."

He'd tease you with his fingers, waiting for you to say it before he slips them inside you.

"Daddy please." You'd manage.

"Thats my good girl. Shhh. Be quiet and let daddy take care of you."

He'd take his time with you, doing everything he can to make you cry out for him and getting his kicks in knowing you can’t this time. Knowing you have to be quiet but can’t help the small noises coming out of you.

He'd whisper filth to you constantly, asking you who owns your pussy, who can fuck you like you need, whose cock do you crave. You can do nothing but cling to him and whisper 'You daddy.'

"Yeah, thats right baby. You're daddy's perfect little slut. Taking me so well. Keeping so quiet. Letting me breed your tight little pussy. Keeping all quiet for me so no one hears."

You moan a little too loud at his words as he thrusts deeply into you and he grins. "You're going to have to be quieter than that if you want my come inside you."

God do you want it. So you'd keep quiet, just whispering daddy over and over as he uses you.

After, when he pulls out he'd spread your legs to watch some of his come drip out of you onto your childhood bed, smiling at your cheeks colouring as it does.

He'd run his fingers over you, catching it and fucking it back inside you, pulling up your pyjamas and pressing your back into his chest as he holds you knowing you're dripping with his come inside of you.

~

Also have a little fantasy of Nando fingering you under a blanket whilst your friends are in the room that I'm debating writing up because apparently I would let this insane criminal old man do anything to me ~🐝

I think this might’ve been the perfect Nando ask, but feel free to prove me wrong ~🐻

#f1 imagine #f1blr #fernando alonso #fernando alonso imagine #fernando alonso smut #fernando alonso x reader