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angellesword · 3 years

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MAGIC SHOP | JJK (FINAL CHAPTER)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: none except kissing (There’s so much reconciliation happening in this chapter, lol)

Chapter’s OST: Magic Shop by 방탄소년단 (See English lyrics here)

Word Count: 3.9k

Series: CHAPTER 14 | CHAPTER 01

"I can't believe you got married," the smile you rendered to your brother was soft as you helped him fix his bow tie.

Taehyung hated bow ties, but he knew he had to endure wearing one today. It's his wedding day after all. Besides, ditching the said tie would definitely sadden his husband. It's something Taehyung couldn't afford to make the love of his life feel, mainly because Yoongi seemed very excited when he told Taehyung he designed their wedding outfits himself.

"I got married and I'm doing it all over again." Taehyung grinned back at you.

It's refreshing to see his boxy smile after many months of awkward eye contacts and tightlipped smiles.

Taehyung avoided you for a long time because he was embarrassed. He wasn't an idiot. He knew there's a part of you that blamed him for not being able to see your father for the last time. If he had only gone with you to Seoul, you'd probably be given a chance to say your goodbyes to Taemin, but alas, those days were over.

You just hoped your father was in a good place now. He deserved it even though he'd be shitty to you. You realized you didn't want to hold grudges any longer.

You hated the idea of spending your days filled with rage and pain. No. You didn't deserve it. They might not be worthy of your forgiveness, but you also didn't deserve to feel the heaviness in your chest just by thinking about them. Besides, those who hurt you and the people around you were already paying for their wrongdoings.

Namjoon and Hoseok often called to tell you what's happening in Seoul since you're already back here in New York. Apparently, there's already a verdict in Soojin's case. Your sister was deemed guilty for almost all criminal and civil cases she was facing. You also came to know that Sin-ae was pressed with charges for helping her daughter hide and destroy evidence in a crime. She wasn't incarcerated though. Sin-ae simply paid a fine of a few thousands of dollars.

Needless to say, her family's reputation was ruined. She sacrificed a lot of things just to maintain a good public image. She even went as far as tolerating you instead of going to court to sue her husband and your mother for concubinage. But in the end, she still lost.

She couldn't face the public with pride and joy anymore. Hoseok was the one who told you about this heartbreaking news. Namjoon didn't have the courage to do it. Sure, he helped your eldest brother, however it didn't mean he's guilt-free. There were times when he felt like he betrayed his own family, mainly because Sin-ae expressed her hatred towards him.

You suspected that the only reason why Namjoon called you and Taehyung was because he was afraid he's losing his mind. You and Taehyung were his only reminder that he did what's right. You wished Namjoon would learn to live with the decision he made too.

"Ah, I'm happy you didn't forget to invite me this time." You poked your brother's stomach as a response to his smug claim that he's getting married to the love of his life for the second time.

Yes, second time. Taehyung and Yoongi's family and friends demanded that they get married again. It's unfair that you all didn't get to attend the first time they did it.

"It's a spur-of-the-moment decision!" Your brother and his husband would argue every time you teased them about forgetting to inform you about this big decision.

Truthfully, you didn't really mind that they got married behind your back. What worried you was that you felt like your brother only agreed to marry Yoongi because he was lonely and grieving.

You see, it hadn't been a while since your father died. If you remembered it correctly, you only stayed in Seoul for three months after his death. The day you went back to New York was also the day you had learned your brother was married to Yoongi for almost a week already.

No one knew, not even Jimin. Your roommate rarely saw them after you went back to Seoul. He wanted to give Taehyung space, especially because Jimin was aware that your brother's way of coping up with pain was by pretending like the problem didn't exist at all. This was why he chose to go to New York after telling his family about his sexuality. He pretended like he didn't care about what they thought and that he was better off on his own, but deep inside, he was afraid too. He was scared to fuck up again, scared to push people because he might lose them in an instant. You guessed this was why he married your best friend. Maybe he was afraid he'd end up taking him for granted. After all, Yoongi had sacrificed many things in order to be with him.

But you didn't doubt Taehyung's feelings anymore. He wouldn't agree to marry Yoongi for the second time if he didn't love him, right? Besides, your brother willingly chose to move in with Yoongi even before they got married.

It was lonely to stay in your shared apartment with Jimin. He missed and felt sorry for you. It didn't help that your roommate kept calling you, reminding Taehyung of the mess at home that he chose to ignore.

Anyway, moving in with Yoongi was for the best. At least Taehyung wouldn't feel bad for disturbing you and Jimin anymore. He knew there were times your roommate just wanted to chill and watch movies in the living room, but he couldn't because Taehyung was sleeping on the couch.

Unfortunately there's a new person invading your apartment.

"Are you two ready?" Jungkook, the same person who was staying with you and Jimin for two days now, barged inside the dressing room, disturbing your little moment with Taehyung. "The guests are waiting and your husband is sweating so much. I think he just wants to kiss you and get this over with, Taehyungie-hyung."

Jungkook had an innocent look on his face that you didn't even realize that he's saying what he wanted to do with you right now: kiss you and bring you back to Seoul with him.

Two days ago was the first time he saw you in person after you left Seoul eight months ago. If Taehyung and Yoongi didn't invite him to the wedding, Jungkook wasn't sure what excuse to make to see you again.

Talking to you through the screen of his phone wasn't enough. He craved to be with you. It's unfair that Jimin, your other suitor, got to spend time with you while he was stuck in Seoul, thousands of miles away from you.

But little did Jungkook know, he had the advantage here. He's the one you loved, not Jimin. Your roommate accepted it already. He kept telling you it's okay, that you didn't owe him anything. Jimin knew from the very start that you only saw him as a friend. You also assured him there was someone out there who could return his feelings.

In fact, you felt like he had met her already. Chou Tzuyu, the pretty girl next door. He was Jimin's date today.

"Really?" Taehyung snorted but he was smug when he said, "but we literally just fucked two hours ago—"

"Please stop. I don't need to hear this." You pouted. Jungkook chuckled as he stepped closer to you, he was still keeping a fair distance though.

"And here I am, only allowed to see the girl I love on special occasions."

"Bloody hell. Are you two still playing this game?" Taehyung grunted, looking at you and Jungkook in disbelief. "Can't you just kiss and be together already?"

Heat travelled to your face upon hearing your brother’s complaint. Jungkook chuckled again.

"Don't look at me. I'm trying here..." He was. He always tried to win you over.

You're just stubborn.

"Enough about us. This is your day, oppa." With this, you and Jungkook both escorted your brother out of the dressing room.

Hoseok and Namjoon would be the one to walk Taehyung down the aisle. Sin-ae didn’t want to attend, she said she’d rather visit Soojin in jail. As for Seokjin, well, he also wanted to walk his brother down the aisle, but Yoongi asked him to officiate their wedding instead.

Seokjin and Yoongi were already waiting at the altar. The theme of this event was a garden wedding. You were in awe as you watched the couple exchange vows while surrounded by pretty flowers and colorful butterflies.

You're glad they're doing this. Taehyung and his husband first got married in Vegas. It was rushed and not as heartwarming as this one. At least today they got to see that their family and friends were very proud of them. In fact, Seokjin made the couple cry when he abruptly stopped his brother from putting a ring on Yoongi's finger.

Seokjin brought out a ring box. You all gasped when he opened it, revealing the traditional wedding ring of the Kims. It was passed to the eldest child every generation. It meant a lot to Taehyung that Seokjin was doing this, however your brother said it's not his decision alone.

Before Taemin died, he told Seokjin to hand the ring to Taehyung. It's baffling, considering the fact that Taemin spent years hating his son just because he was gay.

Seokjin didn't say but Taemin made this decision the day before the accident occurred. It's like their father knew he was going to die and that he wanted to apologize to Taehyung for not treating him right.

Taemin also instructed Seokjin to give you a certain box but your brother figured it's best to hand it to you after the wedding. The box contained the set of Farnsworth House LEGO Architecture—Jungkook's gift to you during your sixteenth birthday.

You remembered the time when you and your sister were fighting over it, with Soojin insisting that the gift belonged to her. Taemin confiscated it, saying that if you two couldn't share, then no one could have it.

You didn't mind sharing, just like how you didn't mind seeing Yoongi and Taehyung share a passionate kiss.

Your heart hurt but in a good way. It's remarkable to see the two people you loved find their way to each other's arms.

The ceremony ended with a round of applause and with Jungkook hugging and kissing your temple as he whispered how much he loved you.

The reception of the wedding was also in the same garden where the ceremony was held. The sun had set and now fairy lights illuminated the place.

It's romantic. You saw Jimin and Tzuyu dancing a few feet away from where you're standing. Your roommate's hands were wrapped around his date's waist. Jungkook was holding you like that too, or maybe your and Jungkook's position was more intimate. Your forehead was pressed against his. You could feel him nuzzling your cheek.

"Miss you, Tiger..." Your best friend murmured, lips trailing your cheek down to the side of your mouth.

You tightened your embrace to him as you admitted, "I miss you too, Kook." Because you did. More than so much. Seeing him now made you feel like you could finally breathe.

You didn't know how you survived the past months without him by your side.

"You do?" Jungkook hummed, his voice was innocent and full of hope as he continued asking you a question. "Will you come home with me, then?"

"I have work here, Kook.."

"So quit and accept my proposal." He grumbled and kissed the side of your mouth once more, hoping that it's enough to coax you.

Jungkook built his own architectural firm. He proposed to you, saying that he wanted to run the company with you. A professional partnership. You two were competent enough to do this.

His proposal was lame though. You told him he needed to make a concrete business plan to convince you to accept the job. So far, all his proposals didn't spark excitement.

"Please, baby, I can't spend one more day away from you." He was begging, big doe eyes and all. "Just give me more time and I'll perfect that business plan."

You threw your head back and laughed. You actually laughed because he was adorable and because you were insanely in love with him too.

"You have a month, Architect Jeon." You said, finally relenting.

"Yes!" Jungkook briefly let go of you to punch the air. He was so excited you could literally see his body shaking.

"I only need two more weeks, baby..."

You did it.

You really quit your job and went back to Seoul with Jungkook. Admittedly, you were thrilled but at the same time, you were scared to death.

You were officially jobless now. You knew Hoseok wouldn't hesitate to hire you but you didn't want to live your life like that. You helped him break the chain when your father died. You couldn't create another one.

Apart from this, you trusted Jungkook. He said he needed fourteen days to show you that his firm was viable. You had no doubt about this, but as a future partner, you should learn how to practice professional skepticism.

"Is the blindfold really necessary?" You groaned at Jungkook, already pissed because he disturbed your peaceful morning at your eldest brother's place.

You were staying at Hoseok's apartment again. It's difficult to find a place of your own. If you were to become Jungkook's partner at the firm, then you would need to find a home near the office building.

Jungkook's architectural firm was situated on the fourth floor of Queens Building. Architect Jeon decided to rent a space first because his business was just starting. He started operating ten months ago. Perhaps he could buy a piece of land if you chose to form a professional partnership with him.

"It is. I told you this will determine my future with you." Jungkook said as he guided you.

Today was the day he'd present his business plan. He said it took him more than eight months to finish the proposal. However you weren't sure if this was still a proposal because your jaw dropped the moment he removed your blindfold.

This wasn't a proposal.

Architect Jeon Jungkook literally built a shop for you.

"Welcome to Magic Shop, Tiger." Jungkook's grin was big as he beckoned you to enter the place.

You remained rooted in your spot though, still in awe. The facade of this shop was aesthetically pleasing. On the left side of the wooden door was a pot of red flowers. A display of books on the other hand, could be seen on the right side of the door.

You could also hear a pleasing melody as you roamed your eyes around the place. You realized the music was coming from the inside of the shop.

I know that you're hesitating because even if you say the truth in the end it will all return as scars

"Come on, Tiger..." Jungkook held your hand. He could feel fear radiating from you.

You were probably afraid to discover what he prepared for you.

I'm not going to say anything blatant like "find strength"

"Okay..." You sucked in a deep breath as you gripped his hand. Jungkook led you inside the shop.

The inside was better than what you saw outside. There were no other people here aside from you and him.

You let go of Jungkook's hand since you were excited to check out the whole place. Jungkook let you be, allowing you to explore what he built just to make you stay.

Jungkook watched as you picked up a book, flipping through the pages like you were interested to see what's written there.

But that's the thing.

There's nothing written there. The books had blank pages.

I will let you hear my story, let you hear it

The lyrics of the song demonstrated the very purpose of these books. Jungkook explained that people could come and go to this place, especially if they felt like the outside world was too much, like it was suffocating them.

What did I say?

They could grab a book and write down their stories.

I said you'd win, didn't I?

They could let out their emotions through writing. It didn't matter if they'd only share their worries because someday, Jungkook knew these people would come back.

I couldn't believe it (really)

They would come back and reread their entries, and then they'd realize that they made it.

Could I win it?

That they really won.

This miracle that isn't a miracle

They'd think it's a miracle, but really, it's on them. They worked hard, they didn't give up, and they pulled themselves from a very dark place.

Did we make it?

Just like what you did.

(No) I was here

Just like what your mother and the rest of her circle in the CA meeting did.

You wrote a single entry in the book before returning it to the shelf.

You were the one that made your way to me

Entry: I’m scared because I quit my job without thinking. No, wait. I did think. I thought about the person I love. He wants to be with me. I do too. He promised he'd stay with me.

I do believe your galaxy

And you believed him. You believed his galaxy, that it's going to shine bright and guide you.

I want to listen to your melody

Jungkook's way of saying that he was here for you was through murmuring I love you. This was his melody.

Your stars in the Milky Way

His doe eyes lit this world full of despair.

Don't forget that I found you anyways

Jungkook found you when you're suffering alone.

At the end of my despair

He didn't stop supporting you even when you pushed him away, even if you told him you didn't want him to fix you.

You're the last reason for me who was standing at the edge of the cliff

He would never let you jump off a cliff. He would stay there and inspire you to

Live

On days I hate being myself, days I want to disappear forever

But Jungkook learned his lesson. He understood what you meant when you said you didn't want to be fixed.

Let's make a door in your heart

So he literally made a door instead.

Open the door and this place will await. It's okay to believe, the Magic Shop will comfort you

A door that would lead you to a place where you could find comfort, a place where you wouldn't be forced to share and solve your problems at once.

You could just chill and take a break here.

While drinking a glass of hot tea

You went to the second floor of the Magic Shop, there's a corner where you could drink different kinds of tea. There were tables and chairs if ever you preferred to talk to someone and share to them your problems. This corner was for extroverts and those who felt comfortable talking to others.

And looking up at the Milky Way

There were bean bags as well. You could drink tea here alone while looking up at the sky shining with stars.

You'll be alright, oh, this here is the Magic Shop

"You'll be alright here, Tiger." Jungkook was standing behind you. He gave you a back-hug while you both enjoyed the fresh air in the veranda.

So show me (I'll show you)

"I built this place for you, baby. I won't force you to tell me things anymore..."

So show me (I'll show you)

"I won't try to solve your problem if you don't want me to..." He kissed your nape.

So show me (I'll show you)

"I won't try to fix you..."

Show you show you

"Because you're not a thing. You're a person who needs to feel and to heal."

Like a rose when blooming, like cherry blossoms when being scattered in the wind

You were going to bloom and stop hurting at your own pace and way. He would encourage you to spread your wings and fly, enjoying the wind.

My greed that was my weapon suffocated me and also became a leash,

"Thank you, Kook..." You turned to face him. Your eyes glistened with tears of joy.

You couldn't believe he still remembered what you said to him two years ago, the thing where you didn't want him to fix you.

You're also glad he understood what you meant. Jungkook understood the type of love you needed, but days ago, you asked him when he realized he loved you.

but looking back on it now, truthfully I feel like it's not true that I wanted to be the best

Jungkook said you had to wait for a few more days to know the answer. Today, you came to know his reason.

I wanted to become your comfort and move your heart. I want to take away your sadness, and pain

"I was a very selfish person before I met you. I used to believe that what's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too."

You laughed at that. It sounded like little Jungkook. If Jong-in was alive, he'd probably nod his head in agreement.

"But just by looking at you makes me want to give you everything already, you know?"

Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?

"That's what love is for me. To offer you everything, but I learned what truly matters. I don't have to sacrifice and break myself for love. All I want now is to simply be your comfort, the shoulder you can use to lean on. That's the love I want to receive too."

Jungkook was saying the time you two spent away from each other made him realize what he wanted too. He tried to put himself in your shoes, making him realize that he wouldn't want you to take the blame and do everything for him.

He just needed you to stay with him while he fixed himself. He knew now that this was what you desired as well.

"So to answer your question why I love you. Well, it's because—" He swallowed hard as he stared deep in your soul. "You gave me the best of me."

He learned not to be selfish but also to not offer his one hundred percent to someone, that he should still leave some love for himself too.

"And I know you'll give you the best of you too." Was the major realization he came to know as to why you didn't need to be fixed.

You'd do it yourself. You'll find it, the galaxy inside you at some point.

"I love you, Tiger..."

You pulled Jungkook closer and then you caressed his cheeks.

Your eyes twinkled as you responded, "I love you too, Kook," and then you kissed him.

Jungkook melted, the worry engulfing him evaporated. He wasn't scared anymore because the kiss you shared made him know an unspoken communication between the two of you. It went like this:

"So show me..."

"I'll show you..."

- END -

BONUS: LETTER WRITTEN BY KIM TAEMIN FOR OC

Thank you guys so much for reading this fic. <333 I love you all!

Please stay tuned for a new JJK fic!

Preview of BST: Jeon Jungkook was the very definition of that fictional fawn named Bambi: brown doe eyes, innocent, and a prey—something you hated about him. He was so weak. Seriously. The boy needed to grow a spine, luckily you had an idea to do just that.

The plan was to send him on a mission where he would be forced to defend himself, but surprise, surprise. Jungkook fucked up, causing him to become the complete opposite of Bambi: red eyes, corrupted mind, and a...predator.

Jungkook was a vampire and he might just bite you.

Alternatively:

“My blood, sweat, and tears. This is a spell that will punish me.”

#jungkook fluff #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #jungkook x yn #jungkook best friend #jungkook best friends to lovers #best friend jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook romance #bts jungkook #bts jeon jungkook #armywriterssupport

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alphabravocharliedelta · 3 years

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HC request - the safe house crew (who’s been in relationship with Reader!Bell) reacting to the “good” ending of the campaign...?

Ah yes. living in spain but the s is silent

Adler

He feels numb and lost, doesn't know what to think

And he despises himself for following his orders through, but it was always for the greater good

But was it worth it?

The speech that Adler gave you on the cliff was true to the heart… or he tried to convince himself that it was

It wasn't until he pulled the trigger that he had realized what he'd actually done, and what he just lost

Does he regret it? He doesn't know anymore.

Kind of just stares at his hands, and when they finally return to the safehouse he locks himself in the medbay and draws the blinds to a close

Balls them into fists after he realizes that they were shaking, and not from the cold.

He was too fucking obedient— aimlessly following orders, was he too blindsided with the idea of keeping the free world "free"?

Adler thought that if the authorities were satisfied with the outcome, then nothing else mattered

But that ideology had no use now

Hudson

The most difficult of decisions require the strongest wills

But even then he found himself breaking underneath the pressure

Commitment to his job was one thing, but having the final authority on the verdict was the most difficult thing

One life vs potential millions

Before he could come to a finalized decision, Adler already done the job

He only gives one, curt nod: "I see."

Returns to his office after hearing the news, where he closes the door gently.

Inside, though, he just loses his cool

he literally throws everything off of his desk, swiping his arms across the top as everything falls onto the floor

Throws his glasses down in frustration before burrowing his face in his hands

Upon seeing a photo of you, the one from your file, he picks it up, about to rip or crumple it

Only to remember that it was one of the few pictures they had of you

Lazar

You saved his life

Lazar feels his heart just shatter upon hearing the news

He never forgets the people he owes, and even swore to himself to put his life on the line for you ever since Cuba

But he wasn't even given the chance to

It's complicated— should he take it and suck it up like he always was or lash out?

even if he was a weapons specialist, Lazar kinda just doesn't touch a gun for a while unless he has to

Despite working with Adler for years, there was finally a reason to hold a grudge against him, and he doesn't let it go

Locks himself in a room, he'll cry silently while cradling one of the presents you gave him.

It's not one of those "sitting there as tears fall" kind of thing, but the one where he's trying to choke back any sounds while attempting to find room to breathe in between

People won't see him for a while

Mason

Doesn't processes it at first

or maybe he just refused to

Just sits there for a moment, letting to words fully sink in and letting his mind comprehend the meaning

Mason gets beyond pissed

You went through the same shit he did, and this was the treatment you got in return?

He didn't even find out about your brainwashing until just hours before they raided the monastery

It was unfair and cruel, as if the CIA was playing favorites

You were one of the only people that actually understood and tolerated him. Loved him despite his flaws and deeply rooted issues.

and they just took it all away

Mason thought he lost you in the aftermath of Solovetsky, but was beyond relieved when he found you alive and kicking under the large debris

Now he felt all of that shit coming back, and this time it was permanent

Park

Hates herself for not realizing it sooner

The signs were there, yet she didn't bother to ask Adler where he was going with you

Whenever it was about you, she and Adler would talk before moving forward with whatever plan in mind

But this time he didn't, and he returned alone

"Where's Bell?"

Adler continues to prove himself as a man who she doesn't like working with, this was the final straw

Professionalism could only go so far, and she makes sure that the MI6 doesn't assign her anymore jobs relating to Adler

Withdraws from the team once her purpose is done, taking any of Bell's leftover possessions for a proper burial

Without any knowledge of your actual background, there's no one to give your things to, so she puts the belongings in a box and buries it six feet under, except for one

She keeps it on her at all times

Sims

He's typically known for being the laid back guy of the group

But upon hearing the news, that persona begins to untangle itself as he loses his composure

He needs to see the body himself, Sims will just keep convincing himself otherwise

his humor turns a bit darker and personal, since its one of his other ways of coping (other than his shrink)

Adler may be his friend but you were the love of his life, so you can catch sims saying things under his breath about Adler (and not in a good way)

buries himself into the world of technology more than usual, just trying to get his mind off of you, but he could only remember your innocent curiosity on the subject

How you continuously asked questions, or inquired him about upcoming releases/productions

Sims craves the assistance you used to offer him

as you would pass him whatever tool he needed while he repaired the cars, but now he could only accidentally call out your name, holding out a hand only to remember that you weren't there to give it to him

Needless to say, he becomes cold and distant for a while as the only thing that needs repairs is his own broken heart :(

Woods

"Wasn't [Y/N] with you?"

Was ready to greet you when you return, about to tell you about something he just found out

But… no.

He runs out of the place, trying to look for you

Takes every goddamn turn and path there is, keeping all of his senses tuned to the max just for any sign of you

When Woods doesn't find you, he returns to punch at Adler, no holding back

"Where the FUCK is Bell?!"

Similar to Mason, he didn't find out about your history till the mission

When first informed about it, he found himself doubting you and your loyalties a tiny pinch, but having you gone made him realize that he loved you too much to be held back by that idea

But it was already too late to apologize, and he regrets it

Just lies in bed staring at the ceiling while reminiscing about the limited time you both spent together, his heart fucking aching

Will literally grasp his chest and curl himself up into a ball and weep

#wow i love angst #call of duty x reader #russell adler #jason hudson #lazar #alex mason #helen park #lawrence sims #frank woods #text #asks #hc #abcd briefing #bo:cw #black ops cold war #call of duty black ops cold war #everyone is so complicatedddd i love them all but sorry heartbreak time

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tiramisiyu · 3 years

Text

【未定事件簿】 Tears of Themis: Xia Yan Personal Story 4-2 Translation

Translation Masterlist | Xia Yan Masterlist | Video

Chapter 4: 4-1 / 4-2 / 4-4 / 4-5 / 4-6 / 4-7 / 4-9 / 4-10 / 4-11 / 4-12 / 4-13 / 4-14 / 4-16

Xia Yan’s Home

In the days after, Xia Yan and I worked on collecting information on other corrupt detectives as we waited for Sphinx’s investigation results.

Before heading out today, Xia Yan handed something to me.

Xia Yan: Here, I’ve made a copy of the house key for you.

Xia Yan: We’re always going around together, but having a key is still more convenient.

Xia Yan: Actually, I should’ve given you a copy on the day we reunited.

As he spoke, he handed a silver key to me.

I looked at this key that was identical to his and couldn’t help smiling.

MC: How reminiscent. We always had the same key in the past – even the keychain was the same type.

Xia Yan: Yeah, so I specially made two keychains this time. See if you like them!

Smiling, Xia Yan took out two chibi-styled pendants of me and him.

MC: Whoa, they’re so cute!

I reached out to take the Xia Yan-modeled pendant, but Xia Yan simultaneously handed me the one modeled after me.

MC: ???

Xia Yan: …

Xia Yan looked at me as I reached out for his pendant, looking somewhat hesitant.

Xia Yan: Uh, mine doesn’t really suit you.

MC: …

⊳ How does it not suit me? ⊳ I want yours

MC: How does it not suit me? I’ll definitely treasure it well, is that not fine?

⊳ How does it not suit me? ⊳ I want yours

MC: But I want this one… can’t I?

Xia Yan: That’s not what I mean.

Xia Yan: It’s just that you’ll be carrying the keychain at all times, so other people will see it easily…

MC: I don’t mind others seeing… or do you mean that you don’t want others to see?

Xia Yan: How could that be!

Xia Yan: I mean, if you want this keychain, I need to modify it.

MC: Modify? But I feel like this already looks great.

Xia Yan: Not its exterior. I need to add some functions to it.

Xia Yan: Actually, aside from being a keychain, this pendant is also an alarm.

Xia Yan pulled down the keychain based on me, and an alarm quickly resounded throughout the room.

After the display, he fixed the keychain based on me back onto the keychain.

Xia Yan: The decibel count from the alarm on this one is higher than typical alarms, and its battery endurance is also longer. Plus, it’s more durable – it’s water- and fire-resistant for a short period of time.

Xia Yan: I thought that you would want the one based on you, so I only installed an alarm onto that one.

Xia Yan: If you want “me”, I need to make some slight modifications.

MC: Okay, then I’ll leave it up to you, Great Detective Xia!

Xia Yan quickly started working on modifying the keychain alarm.

Right after he had just finished, Sphinx called.

Sphinx gave an overview of his investigations for the past several days in the call for us.

According to his investigation, he noticed someone that he suspected to have relations to “Oedipus”.

Xia Yan: You mean that Oedipus might have to do with this “Bedo Loan Company”?

Sphinx: Indeed. For the past few days, I’ve been investigating all the corrupt detectives, including Meng Qishan.

Sphinx: I noticed that Oedipus only had relations of benefit with corrupt detectives after a certain period in time.

Xia Yan: What period in time?

Sphinx: After I faced off with corrupt detective Qian Yi.

Note: What a name… this “Qian Yi” guy’s name literally means Money Benefit (钱益)

Xia Yan: Qian Yi? I don’t think there’s this guy listed among the resigned detectives of Stellis…

Xia Yan looked at me.

Not long ago, Xia Yan organized a list of all the Stellis detectives who had resigned in the past three years, in our search for Sphinx. However, Qian Yi was not among them.

Sphinx: I’m afraid that this is because, not long after my face-off with Qian Yi… he died.

MC: He died?!

Xia Yan: …

Sphinx: According to the police’s death report, Qian Yi died due to cardiac failure, and it was one week after I cut off communication with him.

Sphinx: Right after, Meng Qishan and other corrupt detectives were found and lured by Oedipus to find out about my plan.

Xia Yan: The timeline is indeed quite suspicious.

Sphinx: So, I went to Qian Yi’s house to investigate.

Sphinx: I noticed the same Trojan Horse virus on his computer that was in Tian Xin’s, as well as similar indications of large amounts of data being wiped.

MC: If so, Qian Yi and Oedipus really do have some sort of relationship between them.

MC: Right, Sphinx. Why did you seek out Qian Yi back then?

Sphinx: Qian Yi was a detective in name, but his actions indicated that he was more like an information broker.

Sphinx: He was skilled at using various methods to obtain different kinds of information, to sell them.

Sphinx: Sometimes, he would also use the information he had for extortion and blackmail.

Sphinx: Either he’d directly demand money, or he’d coerce the other party to agree to his requirements.

Sphinx: But his death is likely unrelated to what I found out about him.

Sphinx: I’ve verified with the victims who were harassed by Qian Yi. Up till now, none of them have received any more harassment.

MC: Is that so…

Xia Yan: If it has nothing to do with the victims back then, then the point of suspicion probably has to do with Qian Yi himself.

Xia Yan: As an information broker, his social relations would have been very complicated.

Xia Yan: I’m guessing that Qian Yi might have gotten certain information on Oedipus back then, provoking Oedipus.

Xia Yan: And due to the intersection in timelines, Oedipus thought that you, who was investigating Qian Yi, had already gotten or had a high probably of having gotten information on him.

Xia Yan: Which is why he had to find you, no matter what.

Sphinx: That’s what I was also thinking.

Sphinx: I’ve already investigated the people related to Qian Yi anew. Accept the document I’m sending.

Sphinx soon sent over a document. Xia Yan opened it on the computer.

According to Sphinx’s investigations, Qian Yi had considerably frequent business partnerships with Bedo Loan Company.

Xia Yan: Wait, I remember now. Isn’t “Bedo Loans” that trap loan company that was on the news a few months ago?

The so-called “trap loans” were a sort of criminal act that falsely used the title of “private lending” to commit fraud.

First, the victim would be induced to sign a loan agreement with a low borrowing threshold. After, they would use both gentle and forceful methods to defraud the victim of their money.

Sphinx: Yes. Qian Yi secretly tailed the debtors in these trap loans.

Sphinx: And Bedo Loan Company would violently coerce the debtors when they were unable to repay the money, using the private information Qian Yi had provided to threaten the victims.

MC: That case has already ended. If Qian Yi hadn’t gotten into an accident, he probably would’ve also been convicted, right?

Sphinx: Evidence was insufficient. Qian Yi is proficient with legal clauses and making use of legal loopholes, so he made himself seem completely innocent.

Xia Yan: …

MC: …

Sphinx: Aside from that, I found a person related with Qian Yi. Search up “Ji Xiaoyu”.

Xia Yan searched up this name according to Sphinx’s instructions and soon found a video recording.

[Flashback]

Stellis Suburbs

Caution tape surrounded the riverside grass. A woman’s remains, pixelated in the video, were lying on the grass, with blood mottling the area all around.

A rumble of whispers came from the crowd around, saying things like “I heard it was a car accident” and “What a pity, she was so young”.

Young Girl: Sister… sister – sister!!!

A girl hysterically cried “sister”, throwing herself on the body on the ground.

The police forcefully pulled at that girl, trying to persuade her.

Police: Miss, we understand how you feel… but please calm down. We need to do on-scene investigations.

After several minutes of wildly trying to pull out of the police’s grasp, that girl finally slid down to the ground without energy, sobbing bitterly.

Young Girl: It’s all because of me… It’s all because of me that my big sister died…

Lying prostrate, she sobbed for a good while, then suddenly straightened and grabbed onto the uniform of the police officer in front of her.

Young Girl: No, it’s also because of them! They’re all murderers! I beg you, please catch all of them!

She grabbed onto the hem of the police’s uniform, begging piteously, her sobs soundless.

[Flashback end]

It was obvious that the video was taken by a bystander – the camera was shaky and the image wasn’t clear enough, but the girl’s weeping made me feel irrepressibly sorrowful.

Sphinx: This girl is Ji Xiaoyu. The deceased is her older sister, Ji Xiaoqing.

As he spoke, he transferred the Ji sisters’ information to us.

The year that the older sister Ji Xiaoqing tested into university, their parents passed due to an accident. Ji Xiaoqing worked as she studied in university, all the meanwhile taking care of her little sister Ji Xiaoyu like a mother.

When little sister Ji Xiaoyu tested into university, she started working as she studied as well, trying to lighten the load on her older sister.

The two sisters had always had a good relationship, until Ji Xiaoyu entered second year, when she fell into the trap of a trap loan due to a desire to buy things.

Sphinx: After the death of older sister Ji Xiaoqing, Ji Xiaoyu came clean to the police about owing money in a trap loan, and thus being harassed and threatened by Bedo Loan Company and Qian Yi multiple times.

Sphinx: At the beginning, she did not dare tell the police or her older sister out of fear of the company. Instead, she desperately worked to return the money, but the amount owed kept growing.

Sphinx: After, Bedo Loan Company faked a court verdict, forcibly seizing the real estate that the sisters’ parents had left behind.

Sphinx: Only then did Ji Xiaoyu’s older sister, Ji Xiaoqing, find out about the full truth.

Sphinx: Ever since then, Ji Xiaoqing became absentminded for a long time and even dropped her job.

Sphinx: The police performed an autopsy on Ji Xiaoqing and noticed that the alcohol concentration in her blood severely exceeded safety standards.

MC: So Ji Xiaoqing might have been using alcohol to forget her woes, then came to the mountain road while drunk and got into the car accident…

Sphinx: That was the police’s conclusion.

As Sphinx spoke, Xia Yan searched up the aftermath reports on this traffic accident case.

Due to issues with the surveillance equipment on that road, no information could be found on the vehicle that caused the accident. The police were currently still offering rewards for anyone who provided information.

And according to Qi Xiaoyu’s accusation, the police filed the case and investigated Qian Yi and Bedo Loan Company.

Bedo Loan Company was shut down for investigation, but due to insufficient evidence, Qian Yi was released after many days of fruitless police investigation.

Xia Yan: One week after Qian Yi’s release, he died unexpectedly due to cardiac arrest.

Sphinx: At the beginning the police suspected that this had to do with Ji Xiaoyu, because she was extremely furious due to the release of Qian Yu and lost control of her emotions.

Sphinx: Though the police investigated this after and found that this was not because of Ji Xiaoyu, I noticed a violation ticket related to Ji Xiaoyu.

Sphinx sent the violation ticket over.

Xia Yan: Illegal carrying of restricted blades… the date of the violation ticket is one day before Qian Yi’s death.

Sphinx: Indeed. I did a little investigating.

Sphinx: The police who gave Ji Xiaoyu the violation ticket was the one who dealt with her sister’s car accident. He sympathized with Ji Xiaoyu greatly and feared that she would take extremes.

Sphinx: So he always secretly kept an eye on Ji Xiaoyu. The day Ji Xiaoyu bought the restricted blade, he noticed.

Sphinx: As a police officer, he had to give Ji Xiaoyu a violation ticket, but he paid the penalty fine himself, and did his best to persuade Ji Xiaoyu after.

Sphinx: When Ji Xiaoyu was suspected of being related to Qian Yi’s death, this police officer testified for her, saying that Ji Xiaoyu did not have the time to commit the crime.

Xia Yan: Even if Ji Xiaoyu has nothing to do with Qian Yi’s death, if she was following him back then, she might have noticed clues.

MC: Then let’s go find Ji Xiaoyu to get an understanding of the situation.

#Tears of Themis #tears of themis translations #xia yan #luke pearce #未定事件簿

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hwarangbangbang · 3 years

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jin zixuan » captivation

parts - 1 | 2

hello everyone! here is the second part, as requested by @impossibleme09 to captivation! this is a reader insert so if thats not quite your vibe, i understand~ but if it IS your vibe and you have read the first chapter, i hope you enjoy! and i thank all you kind readers for your patience!

title - captivation word count - 3,004 words paring - jin zixuan/fem!reader tags - THE ANGST (for the most part) IS OVER!! hopefully only lovely tings in this chapter, heartfelt emotions, mutual pining, affair, kinda happy ending

Four weeks.

Four long, lonely, dark, desperate weeks had passed since your sentencing by the Gusu Lan Sect, alongside the remainder of the court.

They had dragged you out, kicking and screaming at the verdict whilst they quite literally began to rip apart your only best friend. You could see the look on Zhao Gang's face, the look in his eyes.

At least now, you knew he would be at peace.

You however, were confined for the rest of your days to stare at four stone walls, and a barred window and doorway being the only access you could never have again to the outside world.

On the third day of the fifth week, which you had conveniently kept track of by using a corroded nail to carve the rustic tallies into the floor, you noticed something peculiar going on outside of your cell window. It was faint, given how quiet it always was down in the prison of the Lanling Jin Sect, but you heard it.

The small sound of rustling paper, following by said parchment falling down onto the floor of your cell. Your cell was partially underground, the window starting at the beginning of the ground and only extending up a few feet, so on occasion trash could come in through the slots in the bars, you didn't pay much mind to it.

However, this parchment seemed different. It was a letter.

With curious eyes, you walked over to it, picking up the letter that was sealed with a gold emblem to keep it shut. You knew that sigil anywhere, it was that of the Lanling Jin Sect. When you turned it over, you saw your name beautifully written on the front of it.

Why would a letter be addressed to you, coming from the very sect you were imprisoned at, be coming through your cell window? Couldn't whatever message may be, not be delivered by word of mouth from a guard?

Regardless, you opened up the letter, not caring for the golden wax infused sigil that was ripped in half as you pulled it apart and began to read.

Cultivator [ Y/L/N ], I do hope this letter finds you in good health -- though I do understand your predicament is less than desirable and for that I do apologize on behalf of the court and my sect.

I was present that day, the day of your sentencing, and while I do agree that your choices of alternate methods of cultivation were a bit of an extreme shock to us and to the cultivation world, I believe you do not deserve a life such as this.

You were in mourning for your companion, and it is with my deepest apologies that you must go through it again. I wish for his soul to be carried to the highest of places, awaiting yours in the future.

I would like to help you, should you so want that. You do not deserve to spend the rest of your life trapped as an animal for one mistake. I will leave you this letter, and return just before daybreak for your answer.

Please think over my offer well, I hope to see you in the morning.

Someone... wanted to help you? Someone saw through your scrutiny you were served by the Sect Leaders... the truth? That you weren't a threat, or had any ill will to harm anyone? There had to be a catch, there had to be something -- who would just willingly help you? Definitely not out of just blind trust.

Your stomach turned throughout the night, not even getting so much as a wink of sleep as your eyes were trained on the window, your evening sludge of dinner forgotten on the floor. As the evening darkness turned to a dark magenta and clementine hue, the morning sun shining through the small window, you raised up to your own two feet to pad toward the window.

You raised up on your tip toes, looking out of the barred hole as you curled your fingers around the cold metal and waited. You waited for what had felt like forever, your eyes heavy from the lack of sleep, and just when you felt like giving up on whatever hope had been brewing in your head over the night, you saw a pair of black hanfu boots, the lining instead of white cotton, was a shimmery silk laced gold.

The robe to match could be mistaken for nothing else than a member of the Lanling Jin Sect and it swayed elegantly even from what you could see. The owner crouched down, and you nearly fainted when you saw who's face it belonged to.

"Y-Young Lord Jin?" You gasped, slipping off of your tip toes as you braced yourself against the stone walls of your prison cell. You must have gone truly mad- did your eyes really deceive you?

A small, barely present smile raised along the corners of his mouth, and you had to blink yourself out of your trance to come to terms with the fact that it truly was him. “I hope I have not troubled you due to my early risings, Cultivator (Y/L/N), I needed to arrive during the changing shifts of the dungeon guards.” He apologized, looking left and right before sitting down on his knees, bracing himself on the bars as he peered down at you.

There was an awkward and tense silence between the two of you -- you watching him, a rosy flush coloring his cheeks as he tried his best to maintain eye contact with you.

“So... did you sleep well?”

“What exactly is it you want from me, Young Lord Jin?”

Time. It was something you had plenty of, but in this current moment the anxiety was eating at you -- the apprehension of not knowing -- and your patience was wearing thin as he tried to skirt around the issue at hand.

Jin Zixuan cleared his throat, shaking his head. “I want nothing of you. I want to help you.” He answered, and alas, there was no tell-tale signs of dishonesty anywhere on him. His fingers couldn’t cross behind his back, as they were curled around the cold metal bars. His eyes didn’t shift side to side, as they were trained on you.

So either Jin Zixuan was a really good liar, or he was truthfully only trying to help.

Which prompted you to the question that had been at the forefront of your mind since the moment you received his letter. “Why?”

His brow furrowed, “because, I believe... you do not deserve to be here. Not trapped in here for the rest of your life as a common criminal-” he began, though you cut him off quickly. “How do you know I’m not? How do you know you can trust me not to abuse your position to get what I want? How do you know I will not, upon my freedom, raise another ghost puppet to do my bidding?!”

“Because of your eyes.”

Well that... truly stunned you. You weren’t sure how to counter that, but you didn’t need to, because he continued on in explanation.

“Your eyes show more emotion than you want. I was raised in a family where all I could do was sit and observe. I learned many things during my years, but one was how to spot someone evil.” He said tersely.

“An evil person, someone truly evil, is someone who could not care less of who gets caught in the crossfire of their wrongdoings. They enjoy the fear they inflict, the pain, the agony... But you,” he pointed towards you with an accusatory finger, though didn’t hold accusatory words, “you do not. Your eyes still have that sparkle of innocence.” He finished, but then added, “it’s quite... captivating, if I do say so myself.”

“Even if what you are saying is true-” you interjected, “how do you expect me to escape this prison? There is only one way in, and only one way out -- and it is through that door right there-” you pointed to the doorway cut out of stone, jailed by more bars.

Jin Zixuan smiled, “I’ve lived here my whole life. I know more ins and outs of this palace than you could imagine.” He pulled something from his outer robe as he stood, tossing down another letter into your hands as he looked around. “The guards have switched -- I will leave you more letters with my plans. Keep them hidden, keep them safe.”

And then he was gone.

Days bled into nights, which morphed into the longest few months you had ever experienced. Having nothing to look at but your prison walls, the food becoming more and more inedible as the time went on; if it weren’t for your lingering hope of escape and your track keeping of each day, you were sure you would have gone mad.

But Jin Zixuan kept to his word. Visiting you every single day at sunrise on the dot, sometimes to simply just sit and talk, or to leave you more letters due to his rush to get done his princely deeds of the day. But in all the days you were stuck there, he had become the highlight of your day.

His smile, while regal and reserved, was always genuine. His voice would tell you stories of what was going on in the real world, stories you’d recall as you drifted to sleep each night. He was always helpful, never condescending... and it finally began to dawn on you that you might actually feel something for the Young Prince of Lanling Jin Sect.

This took a while for you to come to terms with. What if it had been just in your head? To be quite fair, he was the only man you had really had any contact with in... god knows how long. What if it was only your imagination that was making you picture the longing in his stares? Making you picture the somewhat suggestive sentences that hinted at wanting something more than just helping you?

But he was engaged... He had told you this much himself. To a woman who didn’t deserve how dismissive he had been to her as of late. That she was kind and sweet and caring, and deserved a better man to call a husband. It was hard for you to hide your dislike for the matter, to hide your jealousy, even as he expressed that it was only for show to keep the big sect families in harmony.

It was all a lot to process, and at the end of the day you at least knew to be true that you did in fact share some semblance of feelings for Jin Zixuan.

Months passed before the day had come.

The day of your escape.

The change of guards would take longer due to the need for increased protection following the wedding ceremony of the Young Lord Jin Zixuan and his bride to be, Young Lady Jiang. You had only seen her a few times in passing, and only had heard seldom things about her -- but you knew one thing for sure: she definitely was lucky to be able to spend the rest of her life by his side. Something at this point you could only wish for.

A knock sounded from the barred door of your cell, and you lifted your head from the ground where you lay to see a familiar face. Jin Zixuan. He was dressed very well, in red robes as was custom for wedding ceremonies, and it honestly looked quite breathtaking on him.

The robe, which was normally a mix of golds and cream colored fabric, was a vibrant red that made his skin glow that much more than normal, it suited his tone well, and his hair was done up with the most royal braids you had ever seen. He looked amazing, and this was most likely the last image you would ever have of him.

At least it was a charming memory to have.

“Are you ready? We have little time, I’m awaiting for the word to begin the entry to the palace for the ceremony. I figure whilst everyone is busying themselves in the wedding hall... this would be the best time.” Jin Zixuan spoke, and you felt a heavy feeling in your heart. But nonetheless, you nodded. Young Lord Jin was not yours to have, he was already spoken for... but yet you still could see a pain behind his deep brown irises.

Jin Zixuan produced a small key from inside his sleeve, and for the first time since your imprisonment, you saw that cell door open and heard it creak. As you stepped outside, into the prison hall, you saw not a single guard was in sight. With a quick look you both shared together, he took your hand and began to lead you down the hall.

You were thankful for his aid, because even if you had managed to conspire this plan yourself, you would have gotten lost easily in the maze of halls.

After what had seemed like forever, you were stopped by his arm curling around your form to jerk you back between two pillars against a stone wall. His hand came clasped over your mouth to silence any yelps that betrayed you from the surprise, and just as you were about to ask him why he had stopped you, when you heard it.

Guards. The clink of their swords. The sound of them talking. You heard at least two to your left, and even more to your right. You looked up at Jin Zixuan with a look of fear -- not for you, but for him. What would happen to him if he was caught helping a fugitive? A criminal?

He didn’t seem to share that same look of fear though, because he reached above him to pull a small pin from what looked like an embedding in the wall, and just like that, the wall behind you disappeared, only to be realigned in place soundlessly.

It had taken you nearly off your feet, if it hadn’t been for the Young Prince’s grip on your waist holding you steady. As darkness encased the both of you, the only light allotted a few torches along the tunnel that lay before you, you felt him move before a rustling of fabric sounded, a dark blue robe being held out to you.

“The less suspicious you seem when you get to the outside world, the better.” He explained, and after the robe was passed to your hands he turned around to politely allow you to change.

You quickly made work of your outer robe, ignoring the blush coloring your cheeks that you were thankful was hardly noticeable in the lighting, slipping on the disguise and making sure it was secure before clearing your throat. “I am finished, Young Lord Jin.” You said solemnly, your head downcast as he turned back around.

He nervously shuffled in place, holding a hand out to you. “Shall we?” He ushered, and you took it gingerly, feeling his warm, big hand, engulf your smaller, colder one as the two of you began to sprint down the tunnel.

You were beginning to run out of breath, panting as you tried your best to keep up with him; but the fact of the matter was you had been confined to a dungeon prison cell for nearly a year in preparation for your escape, you weren’t in the best shape to run this way.

But it wasn’t endless, because at the end of the tunnel was a wall. Jin Zixuan reached up, grabbing onto a small string as he passed it to you.

“If you pull this string, it will remove the pin above your head. The wall will shift open, just enough for you to sneak past... If you continue down the tunnel, it will let you out just outside of the city.” He said, his face alight with the torches next to him. He seemed... nervous, but not because of the big risk he was taking by busting you out.

“I know our time is almost up... but may I please be frank with you if only for a moment, Cultivator (Y/N)?” Your eyes were hopeful as you looked up at him, “of course.”

“We have spent quite a lot of time together over the months, and while I know it is very much frowned upon given our social statuses as well as my pre-arranged betrothal-”

“Young Lord Jin, please, do not hold back what it is you wish to say.” You cut him off, the anticipation nearly killing you.

He looked down at his hands clasped before him. “I... I have begun to grow a liking to you. An attachment I know is not socially acceptable. Once I become Ruler of the Lanling Jin Sect, your crimes would become nothing more than memory -- but that isn’t for a long, long time-“ He was rambling again, and you reached out a hand to steady his own.

You couldn’t quell the joy in your heart as you asked, “would you wait that long? Would you wait long enough til you were crowned leader to see me again?“ You inquired, and he blinked for a moment, before a big smile broke across his face. “I would.“

With all the courage you could muster, all things considered, you leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. They were soft and pillow-like, and he chased your own lips even as you pulled away, unable to hide your happiness and fondness as you pulled on the string.

“Then I suppose our worries of never seeing each other again are nothing to be thought of then, don’t you, Jin Zixuan?”

And just like that, you were running out to your freedom, chasing the future where you could walk in the sun with Jin Zixuan.

general masterlist

#jin zixuan #the untamed jin zixuan #the untamed #mdzs #mdzs reader insert

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worryinglyinnocent · 3 years

Text

Fic: Forged Through Fire (3/13)

Summary: Amestris. Once democratic, now a military dictatorship. Prohibition is strict; personal freedoms curtailed. All alchemists must be state-licensed or face imprisonment. Foreigners are met with suspicion. It’s a grim place and a grim time, but there are some people able to bring a little light to the world. Behind an innocent-looking bookshop, speakeasy proprietor Chris Mustang has formed an unlikely alliance with unlicensed alchemist Van Hohenheim to provide alcohol to those who want it and medical care to those who need it. When Riza’s newly complete tattoo becomes infected, Roy brings her into this underworld, little knowing the way it will change their lives in the future – uncovering the secrets of the mythical Philosopher’s Stone and the schemes of a Fuhrer hell-bent on achieving immortality, all whilst navigating what they mean to each other.

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Rated: T

[One] [Two] [AO3]

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Content warning for this chapter: Self-harm.

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Forged Through Fire

Three

Riza didn’t think she’d ever been in so much pain. Not even when her father had first put the tattoo on her back. Not even when it had got infected and she’d first trusted Roy with her secret. This was pure and utter agony, and she knew what Roy had meant when he’d said that burning away her tattoo completely would kill her. She felt like she was about to pass out; the cold water was the only thing keeping her in the moment, and even that wasn’t doing its job as much as she would like.

She rested her forehead on her knees in the tub, letting the shower continue to trickle down over her back. She didn’t even know if it was the right thing to do anymore, or if she was making the damage even worse. She grew up surrounded by fire and flame alchemy, but she was being eaten alive by pain and all her knowledge on how to treat burns had completely gone from her brain. It was miraculous that she’d even had the presence of mind to call Roy and ask him to help. Well, it wasn’t as if anyone else could really help; the emergency services wouldn’t be much use in this scenario.

She had known that she was making a mistake even as she’d started bringing together all the tools that she would need. She had known that she was going to regret it, and yet she hadn’t really been able to stop herself doing it, the roiling anger in her veins that she’d been feeling ever since her father had died reaching boiling point and taking over.

Even though she couldn’t see it, she wanted that tattoo gone so badly she was willing to do anything to get rid of it, and if Roy wouldn’t do it – and she could completely see why he didn’t want to do it, she wasn’t blaming him for refusing – then she would simply have to do it herself. It wouldn’t be as easy, but she could do it.

Riza had no skill in flame alchemy. For all he thought her worthy to be the canvas of his masterpiece, her father had never given any thought to actually teaching her about the array he’d inked on her. But she didn’t need flame alchemy. As long as she had a flame. The alchemy was useless without a spark to get it going, so sources of ignition were always plentiful in the Hawkeye household. Find a spark, find some fuel, and she was away.

She was never going to try setting fire to her own back again, that was for sure. The pain was blinding and yet it put everything into sharp focus at the same time. If this was the price that needed to be paid to get the tattoo off her skin then she’d live with it and find a way.

Riza wasn’t sure how long it had been since she’d called Roy and then settled down in the tub to try and perform damage limitation until he arrived, but she knew it couldn’t have been very long before she heard a car pull up outside, running footsteps and doors slamming, before a fist pounded on the front door.

“Riza! Riza!”

She couldn’t move, let alone get all the way downstairs to let him in, and she groaned, closing her eyes. Please let him remember where the spare key was hidden under the long-dead pot plant outside. Actually, she wouldn’t even mind if he just busted the front door down at this point, although it might make trying to sell the house harder.

“Riza!”

The front door was obviously open somehow because Roy’s voice was now inside, and she could hear his footsteps racing around the house.

“Riza, where are you?”

“Bathroom.”

The bathroom door opened and Riza looked up, surprised to find Hohenheim standing there.

“All right, let’s take a look.”

He reached across and turned off the water, leaving Riza shivering in the tub. She hadn’t felt the cold until now.

“How bad is it?” Trisha had followed him in carrying a holdall; Riza could hear the clinking of glass jars inside and she wondered how much of the dispensary she’d brought with her.

“Well, it’s not good, but I’ve seen worse.”

“Riza?” Roy finally appeared, and Riza realised that she couldn’t even bring herself to be embarrassed. She’d been so self-conscious when she’d first shown him her back, but now she was in too much pain to care that she was naked and there were three people in the bathroom with her, two of whom were men.

“Roy, I’ll need you to get some things for me, I assume you know your way around the house.” Trisha was already sorting through bottles. “I’ll need some dishcloths, and some vinegar, and a large mixing bowl, and some salt, and some rubbing alcohol.”

Roy stayed transfixed in the doorway for a few moments; Riza knew that he could see the extent of the damage on her back as Hohenheim’s fingers gently probed her burned skin, every touch feeling like fresh fire.

“Roy.” Trisha’s voice was gentle but persistent, and he left the room with a nod.

“That should keep him occupied.” She turned to Riza. “OK, let’s get you better.”

“You only sent him to get that stuff to get him out of the way.”

Trisha nodded. “He’s frantic, bless him, but he’s not going to be any help in that state. What’s the verdict, Van?”

“I can heal it, but it’ll scar badly; it’s not going to be my prettiest work.”

“I honestly don’t care.” Riza closed her eyes. “I just want it gone. Can you do that?”

“Get rid of the tattoo completely?”

Riza nodded, and Hohenheim shook his head.

“No. The alchemy involved would be too traumatic for your body to handle, even if you weren’t already injured. The burn scarring will obscure it, that’s all I can do. My main concern is stopping it hurting.”

Riza nodded. Stopping the pain sounded like a good first step.

“Can you stand up? It’ll be easier if we get you lying down flat.”

She got to her feet shakily, leaning on Hohenheim, and Trisha came over with a towel to protect her modesty, holding it loosely at the back so that it didn’t touch her damaged skin. Once she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub and he was convinced she wasn’t going to keel over, Hohenheim started rifling through the holdall until he’d evidently moved enough jars to dislodge a sheet.

“Where’s your bed, Riza? I’ll go and get the array ready.”

“Second on the right.”

He left the room and Trisha gave her a small bottle, settling on the edge of the tub beside her.

“Drink that. It doesn’t taste great, but it’ll take the edge off the pain. Enough to get you down the corridor, at least.”

“I couldn’t find any vinegar.” Roy returned with the items Trisha had requested and he set them down in the sink for want of a better place.

“That’s all right. I think we’re all going to need a cup of tea after this, though, so maybe you could put the kettle on.”

“Right.” Once again, Roy hovered in the doorway, and now that the pain from her back wasn’t consuming every fibre of her being, Riza could see just how scared he was. Calling him up in the middle of the day and telling him what she’d told him must have thrown him for a loop, but he’d dropped everything and had not only come to her aid, but also realised that there wasn’t anything he could do to help her on his own and had brought along the people who could help as well.

Something in the back of her mind felt guilty. She wanted to tell him that she’d be ok. She had no idea whether she’d be ok or not, but she trusted Trisha and Hohenheim to know what they were doing. It did make her wonder what Hohenheim had seen and treated that was worse, though.

The pain flared again, bright spots dancing in front of her eyes, and all other thoughts were chased out of her head.

“She’ll be all right, Roy, I promise,” Trisha said.

Roy didn’t look convinced, but he gave a little nod nonetheless and went to make the tea as Trisha helped Riza down the corridor towards her room. Hohenheim was putting the finishing touches on the array as they got there; it was far more complex than the one he’d drawn for her infection.

“I have to warn you that this is going to hurt, but leaving it like this will hurt even more,” he said as Riza lay down. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

His hands suddenly felt like ice on her back, the alchemy so cold it burned in an entirely different way to the flame, and the crackle of the alchemic lightning raced around the edges of the array and over her skin, flashing bright even through closed eyes. Riza couldn’t help crying out with the sensation, and she felt Trisha squeeze her hand. It seemed to be taking forever, but then again, she’d managed to do a lot of damage in a comparatively short space of time.

“There, it’s done.”

There was still pain, but it was a lingering soreness rather than the blinding burn of before. As she sat up, Riza could feel the healed skin stretching awkwardly; the scarring would take a while to get used to.

“I’ll give you some more antiseptic.” Trisha had retrieved her bag from the bathroom and was lining up pots on the nightstand. “And this one is a lotion that will help the scars fade and keep the damaged skin soft.”

“Where do you get all these herbs?” She’d rather focus on that than on her own state at that moment.

“I grow them. It’s interesting doing it in an apartment in the middle of a city instead of a greenhouse at home, but it works.” Trisha packed everything else away. “I think that the tea is ready. If you need a hand with anything, just give me a shout.”

The other three were all in the kitchen by the time she got back downstairs, Hohenheim and Trisha sitting at the table and Roy failing to pretend that he wasn’t pacing up and down in a panic. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her.

“Are you ok?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

He wasn’t just talking about her back. Riza noticed that the kitchen window was open and the smell of the alcohol she’d used as fuel for her fire was fading.

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “Can we talk?”

“Of course.” He seemed almost relieved as he grabbed her cup of tea and handed it to her, following her out of the kitchen. Her first instinct was to go into her father’s study for privacy, but she paused with her hand on the doorknob, not wanting this to be the first time she went in there since he died and not wanting the reminders of him whilst she was talking about what she had done to try so hard to forget him in the most permanent sense. In the end, Roy steered her into the barely-used living room, ignoring the thick coating of dust over all the furniture.

“Thank you for coming to my rescue,” she said. “It feels like you end up doing this a lot. I’m sorry, I end up dumping you in these situations and you have to claw your way out. First it was the infection, then I made you come to the funeral, now I get you dragged into this.”

“It’s fine, Riza, honestly. I would have gone to the funeral even if you hadn’t asked me. And as for this, and the first time… If you hadn’t come to me then who would you have gone to? This isn’t the kind of thing that you can go through on your own, and if I’m the only person you trust with your back then that’s fine. I’d rather it was like that than something even worse happened.”

Neither of them needed to voice what would be worse.

“Still, it puts a hell of a burden on you.”

“It’s not a burden when it’s someone…” Roy trailed off, and when Riza looked up from her teacup she could see the colour rising in his cheeks. He coughed. “It’s not a burden. Riza, you’ve just been horribly injured; worrying about being a burden really shouldn’t be your first thought right now.”

“I don’t want to think about it. I’d rather think about you. Or literally anything else.”

“Seriously, though, are you going to be ok?”

“I’m never going to be doing that again, you don’t need to worry about that. But the thoughts and feelings that led me to do it are still there in the back of my mind, being ominous. I’m not going to harm myself again, I promise. But I just don’t know what to think anymore. I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to do it.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know.”

��Well, I’m here when you figure it out.”

“Thank you.”

“Any time.”

How many times had he said that to her now? How many times had he picked up the pieces? It was getting to the stage where Riza didn’t think that she’d ever be able to repay him, but at the same time, she got the impression that repayment hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“Riza?”

Damn, now she was crying, and she couldn’t even tell him why.

“I’m ok. I’m ok. It’s just…”

“Yeah. It’s been a day.” Roy pulled the dust sheet off one of the sofas and they sat down on it. Even though it was still only the middle of the afternoon, Riza could feel exhaustion settling into her brain and limbs.

“I just feel like such an idiot.” Riza dried her eyes and sighed. “I don’t know why I did it. I can’t even claim ‘it seemed like a good idea at the time’ because it didn’t even seem like a good idea at the time. It’s like I had some kind of out-of-body experience and even though I knew it was a terrible idea, it was the only thing I could do.”

Roy didn’t reply. Riza wasn’t sure what he would have said even if there was an easy reply, but she didn’t mind his silence. It was his presence that she needed right now, reassuring her that despite everything going on in her brain, she wasn’t as alone as she had felt a few hours ago. She had people she trusted to help her. She had people who wanted to help her.

When she woke up later, it was dark, and she was stiff from sleeping in an awkward position. Peering through the gloom, she could see Roy sprawled on the other sofa opposite, and she fought her way free of the blanket that had not been draped over her earlier. There was a note on the living room door, and she padded over to read it.

Riza (& Roy since you’re still there)

We’ve had to leave as we have appointments at the clinic tonight. I’ve left some painkillers in the kitchen for you and if your back starts to bleed, weep or itch, call us at Madam Christmas’s. If we’re not there call us on the below number at home.

Trisha

(PS: Van alchemy-ed the front door open earlier. He’ll fix it on the way out but if it looks different to normal that’s why.)

Riza tiptoed into the kitchen – the teacups had been washed up and everything set to rights – and grabbed the pills next to the sink and the note in Trisha’s same neat handwriting with dosage instructions before returning to the living room. Roy had woken up too and was squinting at her.

“What time is it?”

“Just before ten.”

“Huh.” He eased himself up and stretched the cricks out of his neck. “Want to talk about it?”

Riza sighed, settling herself back on her sofa.

“I don’t know. I probably should. Most normal, well-adjusted people don’t go around intentionally burning themselves, but the more I think about it, the more I realise that there hasn’t really been all that much in my life that’s been normal and well-adjusted, and now I have the opportunity to try and make something normal, and I don’t know how.”

She looked around at the dingy living room. “Getting out of this mausoleum would probably be a good start. I can’t afford to keep it going anyway and it’s a complete dump, but really, it’s been like a prison for so long and I don’t want to stay in it willingly now that I have the chance to go somewhere else. I just don’t know where I would go.”

She thought back to her conversation with Roy in the bar after the funeral, when he had asked her about her plans. Her idea of joining him would never come to fruition, but the need that she felt to protect him and look out for him in the same way as he looked out for her still remained, maybe even stronger now after this latest happening. And with a secret like hers, trust didn’t come easily. Going out into the world and beginning to forge a new life among strangers was something that gave her a great deal of trepidation no matter how much she wanted to get away from her old life.

A thought struck her. It might sound like a desperate thought, but it was still a thought, and the only positive one she’d had for a while.

“Is there anything I can do to help at the bar?”

“Erm…” Roy scratched his head. “Well, Aunt Chris always needs people who are willing to work the front and act as security for us. That would be a good job for you, actually, we need people who are unassuming. Sorry, that came out wrong. What I mean is, we need people who aren’t suspicious. People who look like they could really be working in a bookshop rather than providing a front for a speakeasy. I mean, it would be great if we got someone like Alex Armstrong in front of house; we’d never have a problem with law enforcement, but it would be screamingly obvious that the shop wasn’t just a shop. And you know, it’s always handy for the person on the front to be well-skilled with firearms just in case any unwanted situations do arise.”

Riza nodded. “Yeah. That sounds good.” She’d still be helping out Roy, in a way, and she’d be keeping Trisha and Hohenheim and their work safe as well.

“You know, I think there’s an apartment over the shop. It’s empty and it’ll need a good clean before you put any furniture in it, but I’m sure Aunt Chris would be happy to let you have it. If she’s using it, then it’s only to store the good Drachman vodka in it.”

“I like how that implies there’s bad Drachman vodka.”

“Drachman vodka comes in varying qualities, especially when we’re importing it under the table and we only get it when one of the Briggs’ Fortress crew comes home on leave, but when we get the good stuff, we have to keep it safe.”

Riza gave a snort of laughter. She thought about Roy’s offer of a new home, how he was once again coming to her rescue, but she pushed it aside. She hadn’t asked him to help her in that sense, he had simply offered because he wanted to. At least, that was how she was going to choose to interpret it. He had the ability to help her, so he had offered his help, like any compassionate person would.

Compassion was not something Riza had a lot of experience with.

“That would be good, thanks. At least until I’ve got the house sold and I’ve got back on my feet properly.”

“Hey, even after then if you want, it doesn’t just have to be a stopgap. You’ll always have steady access to booze and gossip if you stay in the shop.”

“That’s true. Will your aunt be ok with it?”

“Yes. She knows you. She likes you.”

“Really? Because I find her terrifying, no offence.”

Roy burst out laughing. “Oh, I’ll have to tell her that.”

“Please don’t.”

“No, don’t worry. Everyone finds her terrifying. Apart from Trisha, because she’s so sweet that no-one can bring themselves to terrify her and she’s the kind of person who sees the good in everyone. Seriously though, Aunt Chris won’t have a problem with it. She’ll be happy to help, I know it.”

Riza smiled. It felt good to be smiling again. “Well, in that case, thank you. Again. How many times have I had to say that this week? I’m starting to feel like a damsel in distress.”

“You’re no damsel. I’ve seen you shoot. And you’re allowed to be in distress, all things considered. Your abusive father just died and you’re having trouble processing everything. You can’t be calm and stoic throughout that. It’s ok to need help.”

“I guess you’re right.”

Things weren’t going to be plain sailing, Riza knew that. There was so much left to go through and they had barely scratched the surface of everything that was going on in her mind, but at least there was a small flicker of hope now, a light at the end of this murky tunnel of grief and confusion.

#FMA Brotherhood #FMA Fanfiction #Royai #Riza Hawkeye #Roy Mustang #Fic: Forged Through Fire

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akatsuki-shin · 3 years

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Review: 狼殿下 Láng Diànxià (The Wolf)

I’m finally done marathoning this show in the past week, so I thought I’m gonna write my comments on this drama here.

Summary: As a teenager, Ma Zhaixing, daughter of Kuizhou City Governor, Ma Ying, met a young boy at the mountain near her hometown who was raised by the wolves. A severe misunderstanding caused the boy to be implicated of murder and the two were separated, with the boy falling off a cliff, thinking that Ma Zhaixing had betrayed him, and Ma Zhaixing, with her leg broken, continued to live her life ridden with guilt.

Eight years later, the boy, who was apparently saved and adopted by their Emperor, Chu Kui - given the title Prince Bo (Bo Wang) - encountered Ma Zhaixing again after her family was suddenly massacred by an unknown assailants in the middle of the night.

However, their relationship was no longer as how it used to be and the two were tangled in the political conflict between the warring nations.

Main Cast(s):

Li Qin as Ma Zhaixing

Wang Talu as Bo Wang

Xiao Zhan as Ji Chong

Xin Zhilei as Yao Ji

Kuo Shuyao as Yelu Bao Na

Ding Yongdai as Chu Kui

Lin Yowei as as Chu Yougui

Notes:

This review contains my personal view on the drama and does not represent the entire audience

There are spoilers

THE GOOD(S):

1. Action

Realistic, believable action and fighting scenes, both in small and large scale. A few weren't exactly perfect, but the majority of it is more than good enough to cover for the flaws.

Bo Wang's solo fights, his duels with Ji Chong, and Ji Chong's first battle in the forest (when he and the bandits were trying to kidnap Bao Na) were among the best; those are super cool and intense. They do use quite a lot of CGIs, and while it isn't exactly marvel (as in, you can tell it's fake), the visualization and movement are quite smooth so it doesn't disturb the atmosphere and our watching enjoyment.

Though, I'm a bit sad that Ji Chong's eagle, Zhui Ri, turns out to be a CGI, as well. It looks so real, I thought they were using a real bird. :'))

2. Supporting Characters

With the exception of the two main leads and a few other characters, I can say with confidence that I love the characters of this drama.

The charming, smart, and kind-hearted second male lead, Ji Chong.

The loyal Night Fury Trio - Wen Yan, Mo Xiao, and Hai Die.

The spoiled princess Yule Bao Na, whose first impression was nothing less than annoying, but grows to be the most lovable, supportive girl ever that makes me want to keep rooting for her.

They also have two of the best father characters I've ever seen in awhile, the King of Jin and Ma Ying.

Even a considerably minor character, like Grand Supervisor Shi, was nothing less than lovable, especially when he scolded Ji Chong like a worried mother after the latter finally returned home in seven years.

3. Music

The Wolf has some really beautiful soundtracks, and the songs are placed perfectly in every corresponding scene

4. Cameraworks

This is something quite technical and to be honest, I'm also not an expert in this. But I think the cameraworks in this drama were really good. The angle, how they switch the focus when taking certain characters in a certain scene further emphasizes the atmosphere, and it often serves as a great shot to the breathtaking outdoor sceneries where they shot this drama.

5. Visualization of how the story starts and ends

Xing-er and the Wolf Boy playing in the forest of Wolf Mountain.

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THE BAD(S):

1. The Main Leads' Relationship

Generally, the big plot and conflict are actually pretty interesting. The politics, the wars, the betrayals, how the opposing sides are trying to trick and outsmart each other are all a classic that we've often seen in many historical dramas and movies. Personally, I never get bored with this theme as long as it is executed perfectly and I think The Wolf executed this in a good way.

Unfortunately, the main pairing ruins this for me and this ends up becoming the biggest flaw that destroys the enjoyment of watching this drama.

"Childhood sweetheart turns enemies" is something we've seen pretty often, and it's not something bad. If anything, when they finally fixed the misunderstanding and reconciled, it would be the climax, the best part of the entire development.

But The Wolf sadly dragged Ma Zhaixing and Bo Wang's relationship to the point that it became annoying.

When Bo Wang first discovered that Ma Zhaixing has never betrayed him in the past, the scene when he rescued her from the kneeling punishment at the palace was so moving I was almost in tears, more so because it finally looks like they can rebuild their relationship despite Ma Zhaixing still hasn't figured out that Bo Wang was the Wolf Boy from her childhood. It should've ended right there. Maybe later, they could add a plot where Ma Zhaixing would finally find out the truth.

But no, they just have to keep switching between love-hate-love hate right to the last few episodes. At this point, there was no more character development, no more relationship growth. It's just a purely unnecessary drama that makes Bo Wang look inconsistent, that strips Ma Zhaixing of any character development that she should've had as the main character of the story.

And speaking of relationships, although Ji Chong being paired up with Bao Na was the best conclusion for the two of them, the development was way too fast, it looks like the drama team is just forcefully pushing it to happen as soon as possible.

At the point where there are only 3 episode left, they didn't have to add that bit of drama between Ji Chong and Bao Na, because 1). They weren't the main characters, 2). The story was nearing its climax, why would you slow down the pace for an unnecessary drama of two side characters?

It almost looks like Ji Chong and Bao Na are taking the spotlight from the main characters. It would've been perfectly fine to end it when Bao Na was accompanying Ji Chong at the bonfire after he let go of Ma Zhaixing to return to Bo Wang; the audience would understand that these two would end up together, and the closing scene where Ji Chong invited her to travel the world with him can still be shown without the intervening drama.

2. The Main Leads’ Hero Complex

Both Ma Zhaixing and Bo Wang keep sacrificing themselves for others and putting themselves at the bottom as if they have no value. It might look heroic the first time they do it, but since they repeated this pattern way too often, it looks to me like they're playing victim instead.

What's more?

Whenever they're about to sacrifice themselves 1). They would always put a burden on the side characters who genuinely love them by asking them for some "one last favor"', 2). They would just end up being saved by the others after all those big talks.

But of course, all of the other characters ideally will still cry for them every single time they're about to do this whole sacrifice thing.

This is seriously the first time I'm watching a drama where the main characters barely have any character development from start until the end.

In fact, I think the main character of this drama is supposed to be You Zhen, the fourth, youngest prince of Yang. He was ever only a supporting character here, but he's got the most character development among others and if you've been paying attention to his story from start to finish, you'll see that is very fitting to be the main character of a political/war drama:

"An innocent, youngest prince who was doted on by his three brothers, but this brotherhood was severely broken by a misunderstanding caused by their own power-thirsty father, and after many struggles and suffering, he found out the truth, fought for the truth, and became the last surviving member of the royalty who would finally govern his people in peace."

3. Inconsistent Character(s)

First of all, the second female lead, Yao Ji.

From the drama's opening, to the first few episodes where she appears, it feels like we are getting this super big villain vibe from her. I really thought she's going to be one of those people the main characters would have to defeat, or maybe turn into an unexpected ally, later near the climax.

But no, she was only strong in the beginning. For the rest of the story, she was only a woman who actually loves the main male lead and wants to keep him safe.

Secondly, Chu Yougui.

What even is his motive to be a villain?

First, he wants to frame and kill Bo Wang because he thought Bo Wang caused their eldest brother's death. But this has since been proven to be wrong because their father, Chu Kui, was the one who set up his own eldest son's death (for whatever reason I don't remember because I don't think the drama ever told us clearly). And then when he was brought back later, suddenly he wanted to overthrow his father and become the King? Just where and how does all this motive come from?

It would've been fine to make Chu Kui the main villain because he's been portrayed as such since the beginning, the power-thirsty tyrant who would stop at nothing to gain authority and glory.

4. Some Technical Things

Ma Zhaixing kept wearing that keepsake of a bell on her belt, even during undercover missions. How come she doesn't get caught?

Ji Chong keeps accidentally hearing everything over the wall in the most perfect timing far too many times

Also, there are many instances where the characters could travel so fast between places, you'd think they are all living in the same town

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My Verdict: 6/10

Honestly, I almost drop it before I'm even halfway through... o(-(

It has great concept. It has interesting conflict. The actors all did amazing job, I have no complain about their acting. But the execution is just ugh...

#The Wolf #Review #Wang Talu #Li Qin #Xiao Zhan #Drama Review

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soveryanon · 3 years

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Reviewing time for MAG185!

- Given Jon and Martin’s recent conversations about categorisations:

(MAG183) ARCHIVIST: This place is… an homage, shall we say. A monument. To him, and those like him, who tried to… categorise the world with themselves at the centre. In so doing, constructed the architecture of its suffering…! […] Avatar isn’t a thing, Martin, it’s not–! It’s just a word. A word used by… fools like Smirke to try and sort everything into neat little boxes, to reduce the messy spray of human fear into a checklist: Human, avatar, monster, victim. Only now, now, there’s a binary. There’s finally a clear dividing line and… [SIGH] Well. I’m sorry you’re not happy with which side you’ve ended up on.

(MAG184) MARTIN: … I thought you said Smirke’s Fourteen was a load of bull? ARCHIVIST: I said it was limited, and draws artificial borders, but it does have its use when it comes to conceptualising these things.

Yep, this episode really conveyed the concept! I had felt like the Monument was predominantly Spiral; but this one? No idea. Utter blob of terror, I didn’t have any moment of “Oooh! Could be mainly x?” at all. The statement at times made me think of The Buried, with the lack of space (“The cell was small and cramped, and Tina kept hitting her shin on the bench. […] And now, she is back in her cell. Or a cell that looks like hers. It is… smaller perhaps, the metal bench is cleaner, but… rusted through on the hinges, so when she lies on it, it squeals and threatens to collapse.”); I got a few Hunt-vibes when Tina recalled the moment before she was arrested (“All day she had been feeling on edge, smelling the faintest hint of something rotten on the wind. Had it been her imagination? No; others had sensed it too, she was sure of it. In the shops she had seen them, eyes darting nervously, fingers drumming incessantly on trolly handles, waiting for whatever was coming.”); there were a few Beholding moments with the feeling of being watched, being listened to, having her secrets exposed and used against her (“And all day, that intense, unshakeable feeling that she was being watched. […] And there had been a file, a thick manila envelope stained with grease and coffee, which held the pages of her life typed out in a small, no-nonsense font. She remembered that she had read those pages with increasing alarm. It had all been there, all of it. Her life, her loves, her choices, her mistakes. No details spared, no nasty inference ignored.”); the lights out reminded me of The Dark, through the Inspector’s own fears (“Please, I’m… It’s almost lights out. I can’t be here for lights out! Not again.”); the guardians had Stranger vibes (“The door opened, and there they stood, identical in their uniforms, their skin fishbelly white, and their eyes gleaming with malice.”); there was some Spiral-y feelings, punctually or through Tina being unable to make sense of her situation (“The man had laughed at that. It had been a dry and hacking sound that cracked the mirrored glass of the interview room, and made the juror’s ears bleed.”); and the cold, the separation from others, her inability to connect also made me think of The Lonely (“Had she ever been this cold before? Outside, of course, in the deepest winter, bundled up and pushing through to a heated home. But sat inside, with nowhere to go, nothing to change or wrap up in, just a thin grey jumpsuit, unable to do anything but sit there and shiver… [A BED CREAKS] that was a sort of cold that was alien to her. […] When she saw the world beyond her walls, her heart sank. The world seemed bright, and normal. […] The world didn’t miss her, didn’t know or care about what was happening beyond these walls.”) – for this last point, I could almost believe it was part of Martin’s domain… so it wasn’t a big surprise that we would jump straight to it right afterwards.

So, I was able to think of this and that Fear, but unable to classify the place as a whole. The fear of being subjected to what you want to believe others deserve (even though you’re aware on some level that they don’t)? As a whole, the statement was a denunciation of the complacency and willing ignorance amongst the privileged in the middle of an authoritative and repressive state – and it made quite an interesting POV because we rarely get a case of the statement-giver/victim coming across as inherently unsympathetic in the middle of their own distress. Last time I felt that way was with Tova McHugh (MAG155), and this time was for different reasons, mostly due to Tina’s inability to… change her mind and denounce was what truly atrocious:

(MAG185) ARCHIVIST: “It was obviously a mistake, some miscommunication somewhere, or a case of mistaken identity. These things were unfortunate, but sometimes they happened…! One of the people in charge would no doubt realise and sort it all out. […] Part of her wanted to lie there and weep, overcome with what was happening to her. But faster than that came the anger, the indignation – how dare they? She did not deserve this, she was better than this, this did not happen to people like her. [SCRAPING SOUNDS] She clawed her way back up to the window and looked out, trying to see the spiteful little brat. […] There has been a mistake. She should not be here, but she had met the person in charge, she had pleaded her case, told him of what had happened. … And he had laughed at her. […] Tina ignores it as she grabs the hatch and tries to keep it open, tries to tell the guard, to explain what’s happened, that something’s gone wrong, that she shouldn’t be here, this isn’t right! Why can’t anybody see this, this isn’t the place for people like her!”

Underneath, there was the implication that others would still “deserve” to be subjected to this, and the fact that her anger was misdirected as a result: Tina was upset that it was happening to her, not that… it was happening at all, to anyone, and that nobody should deserve this. There was still this unabashed confidence and trust in the regime and in order as a thing, while she was directly exposed to its atrocities, and her anger that the world didn’t conform to the scenario in her head where she should be protected by the very same thing oppressing others. This season, Jon’s kept pointing out Martin that things were complicated, that “No one gets what they deserve. Not in this place. They just get whatever hurts them the most!” and this episode was pushing that to its (unpleasant) limits: first, with Tina, where it still felt like a fair retribution, in a way, with the irony of her complacency not protecting her against authoritarianism and its violence; and secondly, with the Inspector from MAG120 being imprisoned here, which also felt like a fair retribution (if he had so casually punched Elias when he was handcuffed back then, what are the chances that he had also exerted violence on more vulnerable (and innocent) people in the same situation? And he confessed to tampering with evidence, and Jon pointed out that he would probably enjoy a seat of power in this domain, implying he would make it worse for others). And yet, still: Jon had pointed out that nobody deserved what this new world inflicts on them.

(I got biiiiig Kafka vibes with this statement (“‘None of these things are illegal,” she had said. […] ‘The laws have changed.’ […] . They never told her any charges, never gave her any verdict.”), I wonder if it was a deliberate reference to The Trial, with the deconfiguration of justice and executive systems, which turn into something arbitrary, unreadable, impossible to understand?)

- There were so many mentions of Tina’s memories not being exactly linear, of memories being… supplied, to fill in the gaps?

(MAG185) ARCHIVIST: “And then she was here. Tina didn’t remember the journey, not… properly. […] It didn’t matter, it wasn’t her memory. She was just here. […] She turned away quickly, and saw the window above her. … Had there been a window when she had first come here? When had that been? […] The child’s eyes met hers, the first moment of human connection that she had really felt since she’d arrived – but… hadn’t she only just got here…? – and Tina felt herself begin to smile. […] And then she was back in her cell. [FOOTSTEPS] She didn’t remember the interview, not properly. Or had it been a trial?”

And I wonder if it was to increment her anguish (not really understanding what was happening, shutting down hopes as soon as she was formulating them in her head), or maybe a symptom of getting closer to the Panopticon…? We might have gotten the first reference of someone remembering the beginning of the apocalypse (“‘I’m afraid you’re going to have to come with us,’ they had said, as the sky above them began to change.”) – though I’m not excluding that it was just a fabricated memory, too, making her skip from one place to another. Still, the fact that she was able to question a few of her memories makes me wonder if it might be due to Jon and Martin getting closer to London and the Panopticon, making people a bit more lucid about what happened and aware of the dream-logic not following physical laws…?

- Jon still doing his statements alone in his corner, and if not for the end of this episode, I would have been worried again over Martin disappearing during a statement… though we still have fifteen episodes left so that’s still a possibility ;;

(MAG185) [METAL DOOR CREAKS OPEN] MARTIN: [BRIEF EFFORT SOUND] All done? ARCHIVIST: … Yes. [FOOTSTEPS] MARTIN: I still think doing it in one of the actual cells was a bit much…! ARCHIVIST: It was the most soundproof place I could find. MARTIN: Pffft! Soundproof? Yeah, dream on. ARCHIVIST: You… heard? I… I–I’m sorry, I know it was, uh… MARTIN: I, I actually didn’t, but only because I was too busy hearing what was going on in all the other cells. ARCHIVIST: Ah. Well.

I’m a bit surprised that Martin is still refusing to listen to Jon’s statements: is it still because it’s plain upsetting? Is it because it makes him feel like a voyeur, like he has no right to know about them? Is it because he’s still refusing to listen to the Fears’ doing, refusing to face the way people are hurting, in a way? Will it change with his domain…?

I felt that Martin and Jon were a bit more awkward, at the start of their exchange? A bit more cautious than usual, as if they were dancing around issues and making sure that the other wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Was it due to Jordan’s transformation last time? Was it because of the whole domain (tense, oppressive)? It already felt like they were on the verge of something, that a change was coming…

- So, it sounds like they had met the person/monster of charge of the domain, the “Warden”, beforehand?

(MAG185) MARTIN: What if another one comes along? ARCHIVIST: It’s fine, we’re, uh… We’re “guests of the Warden”. MARTIN: Urgh… ARCHIVIST: Mm-hm. … Come on. [BAG JOSTLING] [FOOTSTEPS, AND THE METAL DOOR CREAKS SHUT] [SILENCE BUT FOR FOOTSTEPS] MARTIN: … Does it not bother you? ARCHIVIST: What? Being a “guest”? MARTIN: Yeah! I–it’s, it’s not like it resisted. Hell, it was chummy! ARCHIVIST: Would you rather it had attacked?

Same thing as with Dr. Doe, then, who was overall extremely friendly to them. Martin is finally understanding the extent of their status: that they’re mostly untouched, that they’re favoured by The Eye, that they do get a special status in these domains… and not solely due to Jon.

Gosh, Jon sounded so tired, in this episode too? Like he was recapping most of his story, close to an epilogue, trying to guess the process of what had happened in his own mind retroactively.

(MAG185) MARTIN: No, it’s just… Is that how these creatures see us now? As one of them? ARCHIVIST: Mm! [AMUSED] I forgot that’s a new experience for you. MARTIN: Excuse me? ARCHIVIST: You have to remember, I’ve had this for years. Right from the start, it’s always been “Archivist” this and “Archivist” that, all these… weird, awful creatures assuming I’m… “in” on all the secrets. Even when they were trying to kill me, they treated me like I was a… a peer. MARTIN: Yeah, but they were still trying to kill you! ARCHIVIST: Not all of them. And now? Sure, the power’s shifted, it’s all… politeness and respect, but it still feels just like… more of the same…! I guess I just stopped caring at some point. Besides, they are technically right, I am one of them. To a degree. MARTIN: I suppose.

And it’s true! Jane Prentiss had called him “Archivist” (in her texts from Martin’s phone, and directly in MAG039); Michael had done the same (through Sasha, and then in person starting MAG047). For the different monsters and avatars, Jon wasn’t really “Jon” but “the Archivist” as a function (even the Not!Them referred to him as such at the end; Nikola did too, Jude identified him as “an Archivist”). Jon had even wondered about his status in season 3 (MAG085: “Maybe whoever sent this wants me to consider how many of these creatures used to be people. How many seem to have taken the mantle from the ones that came before them, and how none of them have been able to overcome their new natures. How most of them don’t even seem to think like people anymore. Given that there is every possibility I’ve taken one of these mantles myself, this is not an interpretation I’m keen on.”). And at the same time: Jon is still making a separation here, between himself and these “weird, awful creatures”? Is it due to the Archivist’s status being still a bit of an oddity in the Fear landscape? Even Jonah had mentioned that the function was extremely old (MAG160: “You see, the role of Archivist has been part of The Beholding for as far back as my research can go. This isn’t uncommon for the Powers: most of the beliefs around them are guesswork and fallible human interpretation, but there are certain… throughlines and consistencies that can be spotted, regardless of the trappings.”), and in Jon’s case, he didn’t have a lot of manoeuvre in the powers he got – he began trapping people in his dreams and compelling before even noticing and understanding that those were things he could do, and we know that those were happening with Gertrude too. Jon’s powers didn’t shape themselves through his own relationship with the Fears; he got them with the position, and they seem to have been consistent amongst the Archivists at the Institute.

OBVIOUSLY, Jon broke my heart a bit when he mentioned he might have “stopped caring at some point” ;; By season 4, he was introducing himself as “the Archivist”, as if he had given up trying to fight it, and there was his long interrogation about whether or not he was still himself, still human… But: if Jon is accepting that he has changed, the real question is whether he still has choices with his new status? He might accept that he has changed; it doesn’t mean that he has to accept everything that comes with the new urges and the new status, and we’ve already seen that he was able to take decisions, to reject some aspects – just because the fear of this world feels “good” to him on some level doesn’t mean that he can’t challenge that perception, and him and Martin precisely went off on a quest to try to undo this world.

- Given how Jon redirected the question towards Martin’s own feelings:

(MAG185) ARCHIVIST: I think the real question is… how are you finding it? MARTIN: [SIGH] I–it’s not the same. I’m still just your… “plus one”. ARCHIVIST: [AMUSEDLY] Don’t put yourself down. It’s not your fault you’re a bit overshadowed; I am such a very big deal after all…! MARTIN: Oh, very big arse, more like it! ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLES] Either way, even if I wasn’t here, I don’t think you’d be in any danger. Not anymore. I wasn’t sure when we first started out, I hadn’t properly, uh… looked into it, as it were. But now I’m certain. MARTIN: … I’m one of them. ARCHIVIST: One of… “us”. MARTIN: [SIGHING] That’s not as comforting as you think it is. ARCHIVIST: Doesn’t mean it’s not true though. [PRISON AND PRISONER SOUNDS ARE CLEARER HERE] MARTIN: [INHALE] And this is all because I’ve been given a domain? Because, apparently, I somehow have people’s fear feeding me? ARCHIVIST: Well… feeding The Eye through you, but yes.

* Was it a case of Jon already knowing that Martin’s own perception and feelings could influence their journey, that Martin had to understand and process a few things before being able to enter his domain (just like Basira)? That Martin’s journey was mostly emotional and logical, rather than physical, and that Martin understanding and accepting his own status as an “avatar”, as a “us”, would matter?

* ;w; over Martin mentioning that he still feels like Jon’s “plus one”… Jude had made a few digs about it, and Martin, left on his own, had also remembered that he was “following” Jon, not the reverse way round (MAG170: “I was following, al–always following, never leading; never leading.”). He had been casually threatened by a few avatars/monsters, while they were showing deference to Jon; of course that Martin would feel like he’s mostly unaccounted with compared to Jon, who can turn Watched into Watchers, and kill the latter… while it turns out that Martin is also a Watcher of his own, and thus technically has the same importance as all the monsters/avatars we’ve seen in season 5, and maybe more, since he’s from The Eye.

* LAUGHING HARD at Jon’s shitty sense of humour. It sounded more clipped and posh-smug than his usual? Was it the tiredness, was it the gravity of the surroundings, was it Jon feeling comfortable enough to put on a role? Smug posh cat.

* Can’t believe that the Jon’s Ass discourse was resolved this episode smh (Jon “big arse” canon, Jon is “scrawny” and has a big butt the episode said.) (I’m joking.) (But MARTIN PLEASE! <3)

* That indeed confirms what had happened since the Change at the end of MAG160: the reason Martin didn’t become a victim was not (or at least not just) because he was protected by Jon… but because he was a Watcher of his own. It’s interesting that Jon confirmed it just a few minutes before they would get separated – at least, we knew that Martin would be “safe” even when they weren’t together. … But at the same time, it’s interesting that no, they’re not 100% safe from the domains either: Martin got entrapped into the Lonely house (MAG170) and could have stayed there, while Jon got trapped in a cycle of statements in the Web theatre (MAG172), and might not have been able to snap out of it if Martin hadn’t come back to interrupt him. Are they really truly safe, when the domains can influence them in these ways?

* … This is also a reminder that Jon can’t know something he hasn’t thought about looking for, that he’s not all-knowing naturally. If Jon wasn’t sure about Martin’s status at the start as long as he hadn’t searched for it, what else does he not know? His main weakness is still that he has to look for things in order to know them, which requires… asking himself the right questions.

* Martin is right that it’s not “comforting”; it’s an unpleasant truth. And yet, it’s still true, still something he has to face and deal with: that he’s protected because he’s benefitting from this world and feeding on his own victims’ fears.

(* It’s still all linked to The Eye getting fed through them: is it getting a special flavour through its agents? Variety? I’m still pretty sure that Melanie wasn’t given a domain, since she cut her connection to The Eye: it wouldn’t be able to feed through her at this point.)

- I love how Jon has reached this point, with what he’s seen and witnessed, where he’s adamant that “no one gets what they deserve”?

(MAG178) ARCHIVIST: No one gets what they deserve. Not in this place. They just get whatever hurts them the most! … Even me.

(MAG185) MARTIN: Even though I didn’t ask for it? Did nothing to deserve it? ARCHIVIST: “Deserve”, huh! Now there’s a word that always causes trouble. MARTIN: [HUFF] Don’t be patronising. ARCHIVIST: I just mean that nobody here deserves the position they’ve found themselves in, not really. I suppose a few may have asked for it, sought it out even, but far more didn’t. They just made the wrong choices for the… right reasons, or even the right choices. But ones that still led them here in the end. MARTIN: … I hate it. ARCHIVIST: On balance, that’s… probably a good thing.

It was even more powerful in this episode given the underlying tone of ironic retribution going on with Tina and the Inspector (subjected to what they felt others deserve)? I also remembered Tim’s words about the Fears and the fact that there was no particular reason for people to get hurt by them (MAG117: “I used to blame my brother for going off on one and poking around where he wasn’t wanted; I used to blame myself for… not helping him, but now? Now it doesn’t matter. I’ve read through enough of these things to know that this doesn’t matter. The only thing you need to have your life destroyed by this stuff is just bad luck. Talk to the wrong person, take the wrong train, [SCOFF] open the wrong door – and that’s it!”) – the idea that this whole Fear-machine was there to make people suffer anyway, that there wasn’t really any point to fight it individually, that being a victim of it doesn’t mean it’s (at all!) earned or warranted. … I hope that, at this point, Jon is also aware that all of this also applies to him? Jonah had gloated that it was due to Jon’s own “rotten luck”, that he had only been a “chosen one” in the sense that Jonah had decided to pick him for his ritual.

- Love’s Martin spiteful “I hate it” ;w; Just because it’s true doesn’t mean that he has to like or defend it; there are different forms of acceptance and rejections to be had around these concepts, even though it doesn’t change anything concrete, and I still like that he’s voicing it so simply and earnestly ;w; (And I feel like Jon understood that, too? In the same way that feeding on people in season 4 had felt “good” or that he’s been prospering since the Change, while still aware that it’s a bad, awful thing at the core that he wants to change.)

- I was so surprised by the return of the Inspector!

(MAG185) [SUDDEN RATTLING AGAINST METAL BARS] INSPECTOR: Hey! Hey, you! Yeah, I know you! MARTIN: U–uh…? INSPECTOR: It’s, f–fr–fr–from the, uh, Magnus Institute! Hum… aaah… Mark! ARCHIVIST: You know him? MARTIN: Martin.

* … Did he get a promotion since MAG120? He was a “police officer” back then – did he get a promotion for Elias’s arrest?

* After the Basira-Daisy mini-arc, this was our reminder that… the issues with Section 31 weren’t inherently tied to them, that it was existing outside of them, that it was awful on its own even without them (as the system protecting Daisy and accepting (and enabling) her violence, and also as the system who was ready to serve its own interest: Elias managed to coerce Basira to sign up with the Institute by pointing out that there were plenty of other Sectioned officers that would gladly execute them all to ensure that their exactions and Daisy’s would remain hidden).

* Mark Kerosene Blackwood. (I’m living, there have been so many references to Martin’s name this season! The face that he doesn’t have a middle name, Martin barely remembering his own name in the Lonely house, Annabelle pointing out that he hadn’t given her his name on the phone…)

* About names:

(MAG185) INSPECTOR: Martin, right, yeah! Y–you remember? You tipped us off, and we came and nicked your boss, the, that Bouchard bloke! MARTIN: Oh! Oh right, the, hum… oh, In–inspector… uh, I, I’m so sorry, I’ve forgotten your name. INSPECTOR: So have I! It, I’m just… 547 in here. MARTIN: God, I’m so sorry.

Laughing so hard at this because. The dude had never given his name at all in MAG120, had only been credited as “police officer”.

- … It was indeed a part of Martin’s past:

(MAG185) ARCHIVIST: Martin? What do you think? MARTIN: What? ARCHIVIST: I decided about Jordan. This place is from your past. MARTIN: Yeah, but I mean only briefly! ARCHIVIST: Still.

It was a time Martin was still confident in that system (MAG082: “But you’re the police!” / MAG092: “Okay, wai–wai–wai–wait, that’s the police that you’re talking about! Okay, they… they wouldn’t… Would they?”), where Martin was ready to use it against Elias to get him arrested; it was Martin’s plan in season 3 – when in the end, the prison would strike a deal with Elias, technically serving his interests (preventing Jon from accessing him) and allowing him to escape when he would need, as shown in MAG158. And Martin had been the one to carry through Elias’s arrest, leading the officer in to Elias’s office by himself (Jon was in a coma, Basira was in shock, Martin had been reluctant to call in Melanie). That officer was only related to Martin.

- … Congrats to Martin for asking the right questions:

(MAG185) MARTIN: Why are you here? INSPECTOR: What? MARTIN: What are you so afraid of that you ended up in here? INSPECTOR: I didn’t do anything! MARTIN: Jon? [STATIC RISES] ARCHIVIST: Why are you here? INSPECTOR: [RESISTING] I don’t… Argh! Stop! Stop! ARCHIVIST: I will stop when you answer the question. INSPECTOR: Argh! Look, you can’t know if they’re all guilty, all right? [STATIC DECREASES] MARTIN: [SIGH] INSPECTOR: It, it’s just about evidence! MARTIN: [FLATLY] Right. [STATIC FADES] INSPECTOR: Sometimes, you just have to, to… MARTIN: What, guess? INSPECTOR: I’m sorry, all right? MARTIN: No. You’re just afraid…! INSPECTOR: Please, I’m… It’s almost lights out. I can’t be here for lights out! Not again. Please, you owe me! ARCHIVIST: This place is born of their nightmares. And of yours. MARTIN: If you made him a Watcher… he’d become part of this place? ARCHIVIST: … He would. MARTIN: And if he was, would he enjoy it? INSPECTOR: What are you talking about? No! Of course not! ARCHIVIST: You know I can’t see the future. MARTIN: But? ARCHIVIST: But I can see his past. MARTIN: And based on that? ARCHIVIST: … He probably would, yes.

* “It’s just about evidence”: just as a twisted “justice” tends to be about forging a convincing reality through a few cherry-picked elements, rather than uncovering a truth (well. Or establish what is “true” legally, which is not the same thing as an objective truth).

* Which means that on some level, the Inspector knew that what he was doing was arbitrary and could be turned against him, and was still doing it anyway, and still aware that it was the reason this place would be his own nightmare. Yikes.

* I’m also guilty of having cheered when Elias got punched in MAG120, but: it was also true, back then, that if that police officer was violent with Elias (who was dangerous and handcuffed)… then, he probably was used to getting violent with way more vulnerable people. So, no, not really a Hero, even though we really wanted Elias to get punched. (Same thing with Basira in MAG148: it felt good on a narrative standpoint… and also felt absolutely horrifying that she would be allowed to get violent towards him in a visitor parlour, without anyone intervening to put a stop to it.)

* Jon’s compulsion was SO HARSH and pressuring, wow Jon.

* Anooother reminder that Jon “can’t see the future”.

* I really like Martin’s sentence about “You’re not [sorry], you’re just afraid”? It encompasses so well a few things we’ve witnessed in Magnus, that there is something deeply and tragically human in the fact that we want to be out of harm’s way, but that there is a problem at the root if our decisions are mostly forced by circumstances that don’t really feel like a choice? What the Inspector did was awful; he sounded absolutely nasty and despicable in the way he tried to plead his own case without regretting his actions; and at the same time, refusing him didn’t feel exactly “good” either — to leave behind someone who was pleading for help and clearly desperate, who was mostly motivated by fear and trying to grasp any lifeline to get out of there? What was messed up is that we didn’t have a situation in which he could change and evolve, that he wasn’t able to realise that he had committed awful things and wanted to “be better” like Daisy when she was in the Coffin…

* … I subscribe to Martin’s choice in this case, though: that it would have felt bad to allow him to enjoy a new status, despite what he had done, with the clear risk of him making things worse for the other prisoners (since he has already displayed and confirmed that he had previously abused his power over more vulnerable people). It was such a huge contrast to Jordan, who didn’t want to become a “torturer”, yet agreed that he didn’t want to become a victim again?

Who gets to be “saved” in this new world, then? People Jon and Martin personally know? Is it better to turn someone into a Watcher when it would make them suffer morally (Jordan), or is it better to turn someone into a Watcher when it would allow them to enjoy it (the Inspector)? It felt good on some petty level of irony to ultimately ignore the Inspector, but it also felt bad to ignore someone who was desperately pleading and reduced to frantic begging…

- Haaan, Jon’s apologies echoed what had happened with Jude’s building in MAG169!

(MAG185) MARTIN: [LONG EXHALE] That was horrible. ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry I put you in that position. MARTIN: N–no. You were right to, that’s… that’s a lot of power to have to deal with. Lot of responsibility. ARCHIVIST: Yes… [INHALE] Thank you, Uncle Ben. MARTIN: [CHUCKLE] Pop culture? Really? ARCHIVIST: I’m allowed to know what Spiderman is.

* And it feels like they both have evolved a bit on the matter of leaving the choice to the other: Jon acknowledging that it’s an unpleasant thing to do, and Martin acknowledging that Jon, so far… had to bear with it and was mostly the one choosing for them both, and that they’re both unequipped for it.

* Oh, Jon… I can’t even scream “Jon, you NERD” (but still a bit) – but aww at Jon’s way to try and defuse the tension…

* … This is how Web!Martin can still w-

- Aaaah, I love that we’ve reached this point of pointing out how inaction is still a choice:

(MAG185) MARTIN: [SIGH] … Not helping people is still a decision, isn’t it? ARCHIVIST: Well… You saw Jordan, I’m not sure “helping” is really… MARTIN: I know, I know, not the right word. Ignoring them, then. ARCHIVIST: Yes. It’s a choice I’ve been making a lot recently. MARTIN: … I guess we should get used to it. Knowing that all these awful things are happening for our benefit…! ARCHIVIST: Maybe it’s better if it never gets comfortable. MARTIN: Maybe.

* It was Jon’s struggle with Jordan already; the fact that having to “ignore” him… felt like too much, this time, since it was someone Jon knew and whom he felt indebted to. (And yet, as Jon had pointed out previously, there is no “better” in this new world: it was saving Jordan from one hell, to subject him to another… with Jordan still acknowledging that this new state of being felt more enviable than the previous one.)

* I wonder if in his “ignoring them”, Martin also included his own refusal to hear about the domains and the horrors of this world? Technically, shutting himself off from the victims hasn’t been any better this season – although, at first, it felt like Martin being finally able to establish his boundaries.

* If they’re now agreeing on the idea that “ignoring” the victims (not trying to do anything to change things for them) is still a “choice”, will that status quo change anytime soon…? Martin, in his own domain? Is the Panopticon coming very very soon, right after Martin’s?

* I like the constant about refusing that this awfulness, as real as it, is a positive thing. It’s what has made Jon so different from other avatars, the fact that he was refusing to embrace everything The Eye wanted him to like?

- Martin felt his domain first!

(MAG185) [VERY SHARP SQUEAL OF DISTORTION, SLOWLY INCREASING] [THEY WALK IN SILENCE FOR A WHILE] MARTIN: Hey, do you… do you feel that? [FOOTSTEPS STOP] ARCHIVIST: Martin? Martin, listen you need to get ready. [FADING] We’re about to enter– [HARSH CRACKLE OF STATIC] MARTIN: Yeah, “my domain”, yes, right, I get it. Dream logic, and timing, heh, apparently! [STATIC FADES] [FAINT EERIE WIND SOUNDS] … Jon? Jon? [BAG JOSTLING] Oh… Shit.

* The Lonely static squeals! It had been a while!

* Did Martin manage to access his domain right now because he accepted that he had himself changed, that he was one of “them” in this new world, that the world is awful but still real, that he’s still making choices in his journey despite his trying to pretend he was staying neutral? It feels like Martin had to confront himself a bit for these last two episodes, guided by Jon in the same way that Jon had previously guided Basira…

* Aaah, after the stressful sounds of the prison (distant voices, their echoes screeching a bit; the harsh creaking of the door, the overall oppressive atmosphere)… Martin’s domain already felt more soothing. Was it the sound of wind, or the sound of a gentle rain falling? (But I like how, sounds-wise, I already got the feeling that this place could be depressing, and also a small comfort, lulling people to sleep? Which is Martin’s experience with The Lonely as a whole: a temptation towards apathy, to stop hurting.)

* Gasp, two swears this episode!

(MAG185) INSPECTOR: Hey, hey, fuck you, you scrawny little tit! What the hell do you know? […] MARTIN: … Jon? Jon? [BAG JOSTLING] Oh… Shit.

Martin, still the Big Sayer Of “shit” in season 5 (there was his string of it in MAG179 when Jon got injured, and the SERIES of them in MAG163 when escaping the bullets).

I’m getting nostalgic because ;_; MAG039 had ended on Jon saying that word, when he had realised that the trapdoor had actually led them right back to Prentiss… and now Martin is closing an episode with that, when something expected but still surprising and unpleasant is happening…

- Tape recorder thing: the episode began with Jon’s recording, where he was isolated; it went on with Jon&Martin walking in the corridors together… and then it still recorded Martin, once he entered his domain and got separated from Jon. It was the same tape recorder; it was Jon’s. But it “stuck with” Martin when they got separated.

Small recap of the various mentions of tape recorders since they had reached the safehouse, without knowing for sure if some were the same:

(MAG160) MARTIN: Everything all right? ARCHIVIST: Just… making sure it works…! [SHUFFLING SOUNDS] MARTIN: I still don’t think we should have brought it. ARCHIVIST: Oh, it’s better than no warning at all.

(MAG161) MARTIN: Hey – when, when did you start recording? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… didn’t. MARTIN: [TENSE EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: I only brought one, and I’ve been using it to play the tapes. MARTIN: Oh. [INHALE] That’s not a great sign. ARCHIVIST: No… No it’s not.

(MAG163) MARTIN: … Oh. Oh, hey! [SHUFFLING] [CLOSER] Jon, did you– … No. No, he was carrying his. [INHALE] All right…! [STEPS THROUGH LIQUID] What’re you doing here? [PLASTIC RATTLING] It’s dangerous. Could… get yourself blown up, like all these poor… […] You still haven’t told me what you’re doing here.

(MAG166) MARTIN: [SIGH] [SILENCE] [BAG JOSTLING] … Kind of wish the apocalypse had some magazines. … A–ac–actually, no, second thoughts, probably not. Mmh! Def, definitely not.

(MAG170) MARTIN: [VOICE ECHOING SLIGHTLY] … Oh! Hello. [CHUCKLE] What are you? Do I… do I know you? Eh…! I can’t… [SHUFFLING] [CREAKING] I can’t tell through the fog, sometimes. You feel… n–not “friendly”. “Familiar”? [CREAKING] The shape of you in my hand… I talk to you, don’t I? We talk. What do we… what do we say? … I can’t quite…

(MAG181) SALESA: Hmmm. [SHUFFLING] Interesting… […] Now tell me, do you know why there’s a tape recorder here? I noticed it just now, but I don’t believe I actually own one. ARCHIVIST: … Uh… Not really. MARTIN: They sort of just … follow us round? SALESA: Hmmmm. Interesting. Did you carry it in? Things shouldn’t be able to manifest in here like that. ARCHIVIST: … You had one in your… bag, I–I think, Martin, did, did you drop it here? MARTIN: Uh… I, I don’t think so…!

=> Jon had initially brought one in Scotland. Another one appeared at the beginning of season 5, recording him listening to the tapes playing on his first tape recorder (so we’re sure that it indeed required two different recorders: the one playing the tapes, the one recording Jon listening to them). Martin spotted a wandering tape recorder at the end of MAG163, and was recorded when he was waiting for Jon at the end of MAG166 – it’s unclear whether it was the same one, or if Martin had picked up the one from MAG163 and kept it. In MAG170, Martin was recorded all alone (and, same thing, we don’t know whether it was one of the previous recorders, if Martin had kept it, etc., or a new one). By MAG181, Jon was aware that Martin had a tape recorder in his bag; but it’s unclear whether it was the same one as the one which popped up to listen to Salesa (what is strange is that Jon was implying that it couldn’t be his).

Tape recorders have been spawning for sure, so it’s not a complete restriction, but it’s interesting that by the end of MAG185… both tape recorders were presumably on Martin’s side. His own (in his bag), and Jon’s, who followed him into the domain (… but without Jon himself). Jon is currently recorder-less, although of course another one could pop up to record him (because it’s what they do!)… but I really wonder if we’ll be able to hear Jon at all as long as they’re not reunited, as long as Martin doesn’t find him back…?

- And so, we’re SPLITTING THE PARTY! Excellent, I’m sure nothing bad could ever happen from this.

Interestingly, it was the first time we directly heard someone transition from one domain to another: previously, it had felt like there was just that wasteland between them, while we went from the prison to another location immediately this time around, the only transition being the static and the squeals of distortion. To me, it felt like Martin’s domain is functioning on dream-logic even more than the others, that it has no… truly concrete location? That it was just accessible and there at this moment because Martin went through a few realisations and agreed to change his framework? We might hear about that next episode. I wonder if it’s more or less the same case for Helen’s domain, since Jon had mentioned that she would be on their way…?

- I’m not sure exactly what happened at the end of the episode! Given Jon’s warning, and how the soundscape changed, Martin definitely has entered his domain, but outside of that…

* What about Jon, since they got separated? Did Jon enter it another way? Is he a victim or vulnerable to Martin’s domain? Was he kept outside of it?

* How long will they be separated – will they find each other by the end of MAG186, will they go their separate ways for a few episodes?

* How will they manage to find each other again? There’s been a small progression in Martin getting stuck in Lonely space: Jon saved him and got him out of it (MAG159), then Martin became strong and firm enough about his identity for Jon to be able to find him (MAG170). This time around, will Martin have to find Jon, or find his way back to Jon by himself, without Jon being able to do anything?

* Alternatively, will there be any complication, anything Martin needs to do to be allowed to leave his domain? Will the domain tempt him to stay (because it’s made for him, and because he’s fed inside of it)? Jon had to learn to separate his urges, what felt good, from the morals and behaviour he actively chose to prioritise (it felt good to feed on other people’s trauma and to retraumatise them… but it was still atrocious, and something he decided wasn’t acceptable); comparatively, Martin might not be well-equipped if he’s hit with those feelings right away, without the years of slow avatarisation/path of dealing with the Fears…

* Still related: will Martin be able to leave on his own? On the one hand, we know that Helen can find him anywhere, and Martin was told he would be safe to travel through her corridors (MAG164: “The Distortion can always find anyone who has… crossed its threshold.” “And that includes you, Martin! […] I would happily take him. But I don’t think he’d want to leave you.”); on the other hand, Annabelle had explicitly told Martin that they would meet again very soon (MAG181: “Don’t worry, Martin. We’ll meet again. Hopefully when you’re feeling a little bit more… open-minded…!”), and now that Martin has learned about his own complicity, about the fact that he counts amongst the Watchers, that the concept of “deserving” isn’t really relevant when the Fears were involved… isn’t he precisely more “open-minded”, in better disposition to hear whatever she might have to say…?

* Jon had warned Martin that he wouldn’t be able to see his victims:

(MAG183) MARTIN: Are there people, Jon? ARCHIVIST: What? MARTIN: Are there people in my domain? ARCHIVIST: Not many. […] It’s a small domain. A swirling mix of The Eye and The Lonely. Inhabited by a few lost souls whose fear is not of their isolation or their agonies, but that no-one… will ever know of them. That they shall suffer in silence, and be mourned by nobody. That’s why you can’t really see it. It’s why even if we do travel through it, you won’t be able to see… any of the people trapped there.

Is that still the case? Has Martin’s perspective changed enough for him to be able to see them, now, or will he spend most of the episode unable to see or to know them, all by himself for a while…? Will Martin be able to challenge The Eye in order to give a statement about the victims, like Jon has been doing this season? Will Jon give the victims’ statements?

* … Is anyone we know in Martin’s domain? His father? Naomi Herne (MAG013: “There was no presence to [the fog], though, it wasn’t as though another person was there, it was… It made me feel utterly forsaken.”)? Jess Tyrell (given how Martin received her story, but couldn’t help her, and focused on what it meant about Jon rather than how his victims would fare)? In season 4, Martin looked like the primary victim of his own fall into The Lonely; he was able to disappear in front of Georgie (MAG149), but after months of forcing himself to stay isolated. Since he’s been discovering that he wasn’t as neutral as he would have liked, that he was himself benefitting from this apocalypse as a rewarded servant of Beholding, I would find it interesting if at least someone in his domain were to be someone he had directly or indirectly wronged in the past…

* Jon reminded the Inspector that the place was born from his and the inmates’ fears. What about Martin’s domain: was it shaped through others? Is it a reflection of Martin’s own trauma, as someone who was trying to stay hidden, both due to his sick mother and due to his many professional lies?

* I’m really wondering if the victims will sense Martin in the domain, in a way. To them, will he look like a monster, a creature they have to hide from…?

MAG186’s title is [EXTENDED SOBBING SOUNDS]. It reminds me of things Martin had said in MAG156 and MAG159, so obligatory SOB. It’s… a very Martin title and we’re indeed in his domain, uh…

(But is it actually about the people in his domain? About what is appealing to Martin? About Martin’s own wishes?)

#long post/#will tag later

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judgmentofcorruption · 4 years

Text

Episode 8–Sweet Seduction; Scene 2

Judgment of Corruption, pages 225-229

“It’s finally the day, huh. The verdict is coming down,” Feng said to Bruno as he skillfully sipped some tea using his front paws.

“…That’s true.”

“It’s been seventeen years since Loki’s trial. Once more we find ourselves damaging the Freezises.”

“…That’s true.”

“All that aside, what a development, you assuming the position of PN’s leader as Shiro’s proxy. You might have gotten a direct nomination from the director, but that’s still pretty fortunate for you.”

“…That’s true.”

“Well, Shiro’s probably pretty busy with her military work—exterminating the dead soldiers, and all that. So it’s understandable she can’t keep up over here.”

“…That’s true.”

“…I’m sorry. It seems like I’m boring you,” Feng said, growing despondent.

“Huh? …Oh, no, I’m the one who’s sorry. I was a little lost in thought.”

“You’ve been drifting off like that a lot lately. I think I have a pretty good guess as to what you’re worrying about--But I think there’s really nothing more you can do than to wait for the matter with Gallerian to resolve with time.”

“And��hopefully he’ll go back to normal.”

“Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about, is there? He’s always put-together in his work as director. The only thing that’s off about him is when it comes to Michelle—His heart just can’t accept his daughter’s death.”

“…”

“By the way, you alright with not going to see the trial?”

“Hel is in the visitor’s gallery. I’ll just ask the verdict from her later.”

“I see…You want some tea?”

“…Thank you.”

The two of them continued to drink tea for a while in silence.

After some time had passed, they heard a great commotion coming from the large courtroom.

“Sounds like the verdict’s been handed down.”

“I guess so. I wonder what sort of guilty charge our director’s passed along—”

The sound of loud footsteps drew nearer.

Finally, the door to the drawing room was thrown open.

“—What’s the meaning of this!?”

It was Hel.

“No…That’s my line, Hel. What is it, what’s got you running in here—”

“Bruno—maybe it’s just as you said. He’s…lost his head after all.”

“Who do you mean?”

“Gallerian. He’s—passed down an innocent verdict to Bindi, of all people!”

A little while later, in the Dark Star Bureau director’s room.

“Gracious me…What a pronouncement. You have my gratitude, Gallerian. Thanks to you I’ve narrowly cheated death.”

The man who was speaking to Gallerian, giving him a firm handshake, was the defendant from before, Bindi.

“Oh no, you don’t need to thank me. I was just doing what came naturally to me.”

“I understand. It would be a great loss for the USE for such an exceptional man as myself to be given a guilty verdict in trial. You did the right thing. You should be proud.”

“…Well, best of luck with your work after this.”

“I did have a grudge against you due to what happened with Loki—but this makes us even. I hope for your cooperation with the Freezises from here on out.”

“Certainly, that’s a given…Of course, that’s once I receive my due.”

Gallerian grinned.

“I understand. The money will be deposited into the bank today—double the agreed-upon amount.”

“My my…How generous of you.”

“In exchange, there is one other thing I would like for you to do for me.”

“…As long as it’s within my power to do.”

Then Bindi abruptly drew away from Gallerian and made a show of gazing out the window.

“This is…simply me talking to myself. It’s about—the ‘Zeus’ members in prison. If they were all to just poof out of existence one day, out of the blue...Well, there would be nothing that could make me happier.”

“I see…You’d like me to make it so you have nothing to worry about in the future.”

“There’s a chance that they’ll say something excessive at a later trial…Although, of course, you have acknowledged that all of the testimony they gave at this trial was utter nonsense.”

Gallerian grew quiet for a few moments, but then eventually he declared, “—Well then, I’ll speak to myself too. I have heard that a tremendously violent, wicked murderer is incarcerated in that prison. If he were to escape from his cell and start murdering the other inmates…Well, that would be quite a dreadful thing to happen.”

“…That sounds frightening. Very frightening indeed. I pray that something like that doesn’t happen. But…if it were to actually occur, well—that would just be the kind of world we live in.”

Both of them simultaneously gave a mean smirk.

One week later. An incident occurred at the prison.

Prisoner Jorm Zusco snuck out of his cell and murdered twenty members of “Zeus” who had been staying in the prison’s first detention block.

Jorm then proceeded to escape from prison, vanishing to parts unknown.

Meanwhile, certain rumors had begun to surface amongst the public.

That Gusuma Yarera was enraged with Gallerian--and had secretly put out a bounty on his head.

<<prev------directory------next>>

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ask-de-writer · 4 years

Text

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT : Part 68 of 83 : World of Sea

Return to the Master Story Index

Return to World of Sea

SEA DRAGON’S GIFT

Part 68 of 83

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

140406 words

written 2007

Reproduction in any form, physical, electronic or digital is prohibited without the express consent of the author.

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Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

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New to the story? Read from the beginning. PART 1 is here

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The crew watched her words in consternation. They began to confer and many came to look at the document and read what it said. They signed with hands held low for privacy for almost an hour. At last, they sent a delegation to the waiting Sula with their verdict and a question.

“Captain, we are unanimous. You are guilty,” signed their spokesman. He raised a hand before Sula could say or do anything. “Hear us out. We are not done.”

Sula’s heart began to sink as she saw those last words. The next ones almost failed to register through her deepening sorrow.

“If you are guilty, Captain, we all are. Whatever punishment may fall upon you must fall on us all equally. None of us saw the wrong either, and all worked with a will to perpetuate it.

“Your fitness to lead us is shown by the fact that you brought the error to us as soon as possible. You are our Captain! We will have no other!”

He paused for breath and the whole crew raised their fists, thumbs aimed to the sky in affirmation. He raised his hands for attention and got it at the last.

“Our question is, what are we going to do about it? Have you a plan?”

Sula looked up, incredulous. It took only a moment to formulate a broad strategy. Her dayspeech signaled decisively, “We will right the wrong by enforcing the Second Great Law before the Naral fleet. As soon as Huld returns we will set out for the north and the Dragon Sea. We will defend the Grandalor’s right to a proper trial by force if need be. Their guilt or innocence is not the question. Only their rights before the Great Laws.

“If any have a better idea, let them sign now.”

Morran spoke for the whole crew when he signed, “We will not be part of laying the keel for another Captain of Captains. If it means battle with our friends to preserve the Great Law, then there will be battle. Our ship’s grief is a small price if it prevents the rise of another dictator and the start of another war.”

Kurin wandered into the Grandalor’s sail loft and found Arnat working quickly and neatly on the expanse of canvas that was one of the ship’s big jib-sails. The stuffed paddle duck of canvas scraps that she had given him looked on from a perch on a bench. Barad sat on another bench, also watching. Arnat was tightening a seam that had been nearly ripped open in the last storm. Kurin stood quietly and watched him work.

“You sew very neatly. It’s tight, too,” said Kurin seriously.

Arnat looked up, a small tear at the corner of his eye. “Mother - I mean Lenai - taught me. She was the best.”

“I know it, Arnat. I have seen the sails that she made. She taught you well. A long gentle curve like the one that you are doing is hard to do right.”

Arnat put his face into his hands and began to sob. “Kurin,” he asked, “did you ever lose your mother? Do you know what it feels like?” Barad gathered the child into his arms and held him.

Kurin, at a loss for how to deal with an emotional issue so close to home, stepped forward and took Arnat’s hand. Softly she said, “Yes, I did and I do. It never stops hurting but I can forget the pain for a while when I am learning something new or if I am doing something that I can concentrate on.”

Barad sagely kept his silence and let the children talk. He just stroked the back of Arnat’s neck while he held the child.

Arnat looked at Kurin with red-rimmed eyes. “What happened to your mother?”

“She’s still alive, sort of,” said Kurin bitterly. “My father died in his sleep. I found him dead in his hammock in the morning. Mother began to blame me. She said that if I had not found him, father would still be alive. Soon she would not talk to me at all. Shortly after that she stopped talking to anyone. Then she just sat and stared at nothing. That was about six or seven Gatherings ago. She still doesn’t move. She just sits and looks at emptiness.”

“Didn’t someone take care of you?” asked Arnat over Barad’s shoulder.

“Not the way that you’re being taken care of. I envy you. I got attention when I did well at things, so I got good at everything.” She caught a ragged breath and let it out slowly. “Not even Cat figured out that I just wanted to be held and to hold on to someone.

“Then I lost her too. She had to go back to the sea. None of us knew that she was a Great Sea Dragon visiting us. I have just seen her again for the first time in over five Gatherings.”

Wide-eyed in disbelief, Arnat said, “Didn’t anybody ever hug you?”

With a depth of resentment in her voice that surprised Barad, Kurin said, “Sure — — because I came up with a new way to navigate. Nobody ever gave me a hug for making a toy. Just scrip. Tanlin’s given me some hugs just for hugging, starting a few days ago. That’s it.”

Arnat wriggled out of Barad’s hug, gathered up the stuffed paddle duck, and wrapped his small arms around her. Kurin stiffened for just a second, then returned the hug, holding tightly.

“Thanks for Officer Paddles,” he said softly.

“Thank you, Arnat,” said Kurin around tears of gratitude.

“I had thought better of the Longin than that,” said Barad, enfolding both children. “When Arnat was orphaned, we made him the child of us all. Not having official duties, I have taken to watching him and holding him while he mourns.”

Sula sat quietly in her cabin with the door shut. She was reaching into herself, seeking a quiet center. The uproars of the day had left her feeling as if she were in a storm.

Oh, Dragons! How could I have stood by and cheered, even helped the Naral Council? How could I have not seen that the Second Great Law was being swept away? After three wars I should have seen it. My mind was dismasted and blown before the storm of Kurin’s being attacked in such a dastardly way.

No thing has ever hit me so since Davaros was killed. How I miss you, my husband and love!

Finally she reached past the storms and distractions of the moment and found that calm, utterly serene place where there was only - Huld, like a small light in darkness. But - there were other small lights, many of them. They welcomed her. She could feel what they wanted, needed, even where they were. Halfway around Sea! These were the Captains of the Barant fleet.

For the first time, she felt Huld directly, without the need for a highly stressed situation. She could feel his thought, in some way more complete than words.

On the Wind we talk. Our Council meets always, not, as your people think, never. On the Wind you must talk if Captain you would be. Now, to us, Captain you are in truth. On the Wind live we, and the world is more complete for it. See so you shall. Dragon Bonded now you are to us all and we to you.

A rap at her door brought her back from the Wind to her own present…almost. To Huld in parting she sent You know my need and where I am going. They were all still there in the back of her mind.

She rose and pushed the door aside. She signed, “Yes, Doctor Worran?”

Yellow fingers replied, “Sula, Captain, we were worried about you. You were in there for nearly six watches.” Doctor Worran looked relieved as she went on, “You look as though you solved something. You seem relaxed now - you have been so driven since Kurin was poisoned.”

“Yes,” signed Sula, swinging up the ladder to the bridge, “I was. Now I know what needs to be done.”

The tocsin began calling the crew to make sail. In a very short time the mighty Dark Dragon was underway, following a soaring Sea Hawk north.

TO BE CONTINUED

<==PREVIOUS NEXT==>

Return to the Master Story Index

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#SEA DRAGON’S GIFT #Part 68 of 83 #World of Sea #Written by De Writer

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always5hineee · 4 years

Text

Depreciation- Chapter 10: Verdict

Chapter warnings: Possible themes

Word count: 1817

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He looked almost exactly the same as before he had been attacked. Stepping into the courtroom at the direction of the prosecution, his face was emotionless and his eyes never left the stand. He was wearing a dark suit, making it impossible to see his scars. His hair was neatly styled and his skin was clear and clean. How was he alive? According to the other members, he had been stabbed through the heart as well as all of his limbs, almost certainly bleeding out. He looked as if he had just been sitting alone in a room until the trial.

It was only as he began to step forward that she realized the lawyer in her ear was trying to talk to her.

"Stop staring at him, woman! You need to object!"

"W-What?" She muttered.

"OBJECT-"

"Objection!" She shouted, not sure what they were doing, but following his lead.

"On what grounds?" The judge asked.

A-as WayV's defendant, I am also in charge of Lucas. We have had no time to go over the details of the case and the plan for-"

"With all due respect, your honor," The other lawyer sneered. "It sounds like she's trying to avoid having a witness testify before she's had a chance to get to them."

"It's not like that!"

"If that's the case, you should have no objections." The judge looked to her, raising their eyebrows expectantly. She had no choice- she revoked her objection and let the questioning commence. He stepped up to the stand, still not looking at her. The prosecution began asking relentless questions about their living situation.

"Are you and Y/N close?"

"...I'd say so? She's in the house a lot."

"A lot.. what do you mean by that? Is she in residence?" He was starting to stumble. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, rambling about random times they had hung out.

"So you agree that Y/N has been living with you for a considerable amount of time."

"...Yes, that's accurate."

"And you're involved?"

"I'm not... I'm not sure I understand your question, I-" At this point, the lawyer was beginning to get fed up with his wandering, evasive answers, and it was clear the jury was becoming suspicious as well.

"Are you or are you not in love with Y/N?" She practically yelled, setting her hand down firmly on the prosecution's table, staring at him. His mouth opened slightly, eyes wide as he glanced over to the group, to her. "Don't look at her! Look at me!" The lawyer demanded. "Answer the question!" Y/N's heart dropped as she realized this was it. He had no idea what they were trying to pull, had no way of figuring out their cover story. There wasn't a reason she could think of for him to guess that this was plausible. If she had to guess, he would think that it was a trap, and that answering yes would contradict an earlier statement. They were done for, and he didn't even know it. It was completely-

"Yes." He said, looking the lawyer in the eyes as he swallowed nervously. "I love her more than anything else in the world." Everyone's faces shifted as he said this, the courtroom falling into a deadly hush. Y/N was ecstatic- she wasn't sure how, but he had figured it out! The other lawyer, however, was furious. There was no way he got in contact with the rest of the group. How had he done it? Unless they had some micro signal, or... no, it was impossible. Y/N took her chance.

"Your honor, this all seems irrelevant to the case. It's clear Lucas's account aligns with ours regarding our relationship, my friendship with Kun, the attack of his persons by my ex-boyfriend, and he was unconscious for everything after-" The lawyer's face dropped. She saw what Y/N was doing. By dropping those subtle clues as to the rest of the story, Y/N was making it a walk in the park for Lucas to figure out what was going on and adjust the remainder of his testimony.

"Objection! She's colluding with the witness!" The lady screamed.

"What grounds do you have for that accusation?" The judge asked, raising their eyebrows.

"I- Didn't you just- she went and told him the- It's just that-"

"Overruled, please don't disrupt the flow of the trial. If you would like to continue your interrogation, please do so." Grinding her teeth and shooting Y/N a death glare, she said,

"No further questions." She knew they were guilty. Everything about their little setup screamed it, even the way they were participating in the trial. She knew that WayV was a human trafficking ring. But how to prove it? She could find no records, no one willing to give them up. The witnesses she had gathered had been practically useless. She was becoming less and less certain of her victory.

"Well, we've done this a bit out of order, so Y/N has basically given her defense. Do you have anything to add in regards to refuting the witness testimonies?" She waited for the lawyer in her earpiece to confirm, then said,

"Our bases are covered in our closing statements. We'd like to move on to evidence, if that's alright. As we're aware, the prosecution does intend to present material evidence against my clients." The other lawyer was still fuming as the judge asked her to step forward with the evidence. She muttered something, but no one could tell what it was.

"Could you please speak up?" Clenching her fists, the other woman said louder,

"It has come to our attention that the evidence may be detrimental to the case and we would like to motion to revoke our request for floor time in regards to-"

"It's been registered and you put it forth as an intended point. Please present." The woman had expected as much. She couldn't just change the case at the last minute. Still, she had been grasping at straws. Pulling out a plastic evidence bag, she held it up.

"These were found in the household during an invasion under search warrant. We believed that they may have belonged to a victim." It was a rather... private piece of women's clothing.

"Where in the household were they recovered from?"

"Hendery's bedroom." This caught their attention. One of many things could happen in this moment- they somehow explained how the bra had ended up in a different part of the house, or it turned out to really be that of a victim's. Raising her hand and coughing, Y/N tried to recover as she looked at it.

"Your honor, that belongs to me." The judge looked between the two as if checking to see if the size matched. Y/N knew that it did, because it really was hers. It wasn't one of the ones that they'd provided her, either, it was the one she'd been wearing at the concert. The question was... how did Hendery even get it? She didn't have time to ponder that now, though, she had to figure out how to explain-

"With all due respect, your honor," Lucas cut in for her. What was his plan with this? Come up with some elaborate excuse to explain this, or accuse her of cheating? "Hendery's bed is, uh... nicer, if you get what I'm saying."

"Ugh! That's disgusting!" Hendery shouted dramatically. "Are you serious?!" It was the first time he'd spoken since he was forced to give his testimony, and Y/N certainly wasn't expecting him to actively help in their little charade.

"It's not my fault that you're out so often!" Lucas pretended to object, shrugging.

"You make me sick-"

"Order in the court!" The judge was forced to demand again. "Does anyone have any further helpful statements in regards to this?" No one spoke up, thankfully allowing them to move on from that... enlightening piece of evidence. They hadn't actually done anything, so Y/N didn't know why she was so embarrassed. She still also didn't know why the article of clothing was in Hendery's room to begin with.

"In that case, would the attorneys like to make their closing statements?" The prosecution spoke first. She gave some roundabout, wandering statement about looking at the real energy of the matter and not to let the one poor witness get in the way of looking at what really happened. Eventually, she came to a close, sitting down, looking much less smug than she had at the start. Y/N stood up to give her summary.

"As you can see, fellow citizens, the members of WayV had nothing to do with these human trafficking cases, and it was likely that they were isolated coincidences at best. They have alibis set in stone and witness testimony to back their innocence. Why would such famous, powerful, well-liked young men jeopardize everything they have worked for just to gain a little more cash off the top? They are more than well off, and they have no motive. These accusations are the result of a misunderstanding blown out of proportion."

"The jury is dismissed to discuss." As the members of the jury filed out into a side room, Y/N finally felt like she could breathe. Looking over at Kun, he gave her a proud smile, something she'd never seen on him before. It lifted her heart, making her a little less nervous. She didn't want to say anything, to ruin the charade they had put up, but she couldn't wait to get back home... Well, to the base. Was that her home, now?

The jury came back out in only ten short minutes. The vote was unanimous. The judge spoke once the crowd silenced. “Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict?” The jury spokesman stood and said:

“Yes, your Honor, we have.”

“Members of the Jury, on the Case of WayV, what you say?” The Jury Spokesman cleared his throat before pronouncing,

“Your Honor, the members of this Jury find the defendants not guilty of the charges leveraged against them." The room broke out into a loud buzz, causing the judge to bang the gavel a few more times. For the third time that case, order was demanded.

"In the cases of Qian Kun, Dong Si Cheng, Liu Yangyang, Xiao Dejun, Wong Yuk-Hei, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, and Wong Kun-Hang, I find them Not Guilty. This court is adjourned." The bailiff directed all to rise as the judge left the stand, exiting the courtroom. Once they were gone, the prosecution glared angrily at Y/N's back, but she couldn't care less. Breathing out, tears coming to her eyes, she ran over to Lucas, wrapping her arms around him as he put his chin on top of her head. It was over.

Go to Chapter 11

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jae-canikeepyou · 4 years

Text

| trust | j.jh

genre: high school au t/w: blood + violence a/n: if you had a dose of bad boy jaehyun, then this is the opposite 😗 you’ll know what i mean. i wrote this in one go and probably not the best i’ve written. it hope you enjoy this scenario! ~j.

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“ugh she’s here?” “she finally came after weeks, huh.” “you know jaehyun’s had a hard time dealing with someone like her.” “it’s not even his responsibility yet he still offers to help. y/n’s such a rebel.”

everything you ran into all ticked you off; the stares of students from different class sections, the growing whispers you heard weren’t even considered as whispers anymore. there wasn’t a single day you never encountered these ever since you decided to go back to studying again. it had been weeks. the hall continued to irritate your ears and space was laid out in front of you as the others leaned back to their lockers, like you were from a different dimension.

holding back an attitude, you turned the digits of your locker when books hit your head. you turned around to see sicheng, the secretary of the school’s student council. “pres needs to see you.”

“ha, no thanks. now leave me alone.” you scoffed. sicheng wasn’t having any of your obnoxious behavior; or that was how he saw it. he put out an arm and blocked your locker.

“you have to see him.” he insisted with eyes of concern.

“and i don’t.” you forcibly took your books from the locker, hugging them as you started to walk away from sicheng. a yank from the hem of your shirt pulled you back. all sorts of emotions built up from head to toe, you turned around to see sicheng’s face. “ew why are you grinning like that, pisses me off.”

“there’s this thing called irritated smile, y/n. i’m going to take far measures if you refuse to see him.” he grabbed your arm, squeezing it in case you planned to escape. he started to walk and the force from it already made you follow.

“what far measures?! you’re already doing it sicheng!” you yelled. your fingers curled to remove the lad’s hand. “let go you jerk!”

he led you to the fifth floor where the student council office was. apparently the meeting had just adjourned and you saw jaehyun stacking piles of paper. the rest of the council stared at you either with pissed faces or pity.

“pres, y/n’s here.” sicheng called out to the boy, who now stood up to fix his tie.

“thanks dude. you can leave us.” jaehyun replied.

the room soon emptied out, leaving the both of you in silence. the sounds of fans above you were the only ones heard. your hair flew in different directions before jaehyun shortened the distance between you, pushing back strands of hair behind your ear. aggravated at his move, you hit his hand. “if this is your way of being nice, i won’t accept it.” you glared, sitting at a desk behind with crossed arms.

“why’re you like this, y/n?” he asked as if he had the innocent mind. “you weren’t like this at all.”

“yeah i wasn’t until that day jaehyun!” you kicked a nearby chair.

shortly after the last class, you remembered the item you left in the classroom. the golden hour had just passed and every corner of the corridor drown in the orange lit sky behind the windows. the steps of your track shoes clicked the marbled floor. a few screeches of the metal spikes made you pull out your headphones. music blasted your ears however, it wasn’t enough to muffle out the sounds of glass shards coming from the electronic laboratory.

you didn’t care what happened in there, but that place was an important part of academic life. you were one of the students having the subject as an elective and it played a crucial part at this time of the semester. as hesitant as you were behind a slim gap opening of the door, your heart sank at the sight of completed reports being drenched in water, soon torn and crumpled in oozing mess. the apparatus for experiments were broken and almost every single thing in the lab had been destroyed. cans of spray paints were shaken and they soon met with the walls, profanities in caps written to diss the teacher became many.

you recognized these group of students— the honors, who regulars like you held grudges with them and hated the favoritism. even the uniforms were designed to differentiate the level of grading. the recent electronics results was one-sided, where they sweet-talked for an advantage in the ranking system. the relations of students was bad too; with the son of the dean controlling the honors, he would always want to kill time and play with the regulars.

apparently jaehyun was one of the honors who ranked higher than the rest— he was also a close friend of yours. yet he was also friends with the dean’s son. since his move to the honors, he changed, and you hated his ego.

you soon were spotted and forcibly put in the lab. your hand held the nearby desk before someone shoved you from behind, earning your fall. “what are you doing?” you asked, pointing at the vandalized areas.

“no, what are you doing? you regulars should learn privacy.” they all smirked, preparing their fists. “that’s new word for your dictionary. you may thank us.”

“i just happened to pass by and some roaches sure play dirty.” sarcasm was on your side, as well as your r.b.f.

“ha, not only regulars have limited vocabulary, they also have guts. let’s see if you have them now.” a boy pulled you from the collar, giving you a punch in the stomach. blows of attacks met your body, they encircled you with no escape. to them you were a weakling, but it was to conserve your strength for your attacks.

you had your chance to fight them, injuring and hurting them with your track shoes; creating open wounds and drops of their blood on the floor. they cursed with the pain and continued to pursue you, yet you weren’t having any of it. the swelling of your face started to kick in, with bruises so deep and limbs weakened, you were outnumbered. and before you knew it, darkness consumed your vision.

“miss y/n, with the meeting from the school board and student council, the verdict is to suspend you until further notice.” the dean said, his hands gestured you to leave.

you refused to do so, hands balling into fists. jaehyun held you by the shoulders, giving little force to make you start moving. “dean, i’ll see her out. and as for her actions, i apologize.” he bowed.

“jaehyun! it wasn’t me! why are you seeing this one-sidedly?!” you tried to escape his hold, but he was stronger. “i can’t be suspended!”

“you don’t have evidence, y/n.” he said sternly and that was like a slap to your face.

“i do have-”

“we’re leaving.” his eyes filled with anger now.

“yikes weeks of suspension, too bad.”

“the roach should learn discipline too.”

“i didn’t know a delinquent can change back.”

they gave giggles and mockery that pretty much made you want to go at them. jaehyun’s grip tightened on your shoulders, and with that you were already at the corridor. stares from both sides were on you. the honors having the oh-well face whilst the regulars gave a pitiful one as they didn’t know what to do to help you.

—

“you tell me! after what happened at the dean’s office you— stayed silent the whole time and then what?! somehow summing up that i was the one who initiated the vandalism?! the bullying?!” you yelled as your voice echoed, not caring to others who might’ve heard it.

“ugh here we go again. i can’t even have a proper conversation with you since then.” he rubbed his temples to sooth the upcoming pain. “look, i didn’t convince him. i wasn’t gonna side on anyone. i don’t understand why you’re-”

“oh and just like that you decided to protect your reputation as president than a fellow friend?! your silence was more than enough to make me feel you betrayed me!” your bitter voice couldn’t hide any of the pain it was giving.

“y/n, what did i tell you about your anger issues?” jaehyun asked, that alone made you fume more than the honors ever did. you walked towards him, poking him hard in the chest. it hurt that his ego went ahead of his friendship with you. it hurt when he chose to make you leave the office.

but there was one thing that hurt more,

that he was the boy you were in love with.

“anger issues?” you choked on your words. “the issue here is that did you ever think that maybe i was at the wrong place and wrong time? or that what had happened might’ve been the opposite? yet you let your stupid ego eat you.”

jaehyun saw how you slowly went back to that desk you leaned on, head down and chest heaving deeply. he remembered the time he saw you at the alley, far back in the garbage area all beaten up yet he has never seen a smile so genuine like yours. an urge hit him to help you, so he tended your wounds. to him you’ve always wore a brave face. the you right now was something he never seen.

you cried and threw a fit to every chair and desk you could possibly see, earnestly wanting to let out all misery and heartbreak with a scream. jaehyun’s guilt plunged to the deepest. he admitted that his disappointment put your friendship at risk. he couldn’t bear to see you at your lowest when before the incident, you were a rising gem. an undiscovered talent who excelled when given a second chance.

“y/n..” jaehyun approached with wavering hands. he didn’t know why but he wanted to hold you, to let you know that someone was on your side even if he didn’t believe you.

but he suddenly had a spark of assimilation.

he should’ve believed you.

his large arms held you from behind, and even you felt angry and deceived from his angelic exterior, it was the same feeling when he first met you— the dependable heart.

“i’m sorry.. i guess my pride did change me. i was blind to see my surroundings and the acceptance i got from the honors was overwhelming. i was happy for once, like my hardwork was paid off. it seemed like a place where i belonged but then it altered my attention from you.” he said in a soft voice. “i want to help you, if you give me a chance to do that.”

the latter sentence was the same words he said that day he met your beaten-up self.

“i hate you. you’re crazy.” you turned around to hit him, later seeing his eyes full of willingness.

“yeah. i am.” he replied quickly with his hands by your waist. “i have to be crazy to be in love.”

“in love my butt.” you spat back, but that made him smile since he made you leave the office. “that confession of yours won’t make me soft or forgive you.”

“then what should i do for you to forgive me? or love me?” he asked, his hands now intertwining with yours.

i’m already in love with you, idiot. and to be frank that action made your head spin where all you saw was flying hearts and flowers.

you wriggled from his hold, grabbing your bag to leave the meeting room. “i’ll consider your apology if you find it in the lab.”

he lifted a brow as he crossed his arms. “what do you mean?”

“there’s a tiny cube on top of a dslr camera that is inside the second cupboard. get that and check your email. you might want to show the dean tomorrow too.” you wore your bag. “apparently that was the item i forgot in the lab. i tried telling you the truth that day. anyway, you’ll know the rest when you see the email.”

he tried to speak out but held it in when you stopped by the door. “if you do that, i’ll consider your confession too.” you smiled and left.

jaehyun went to the lab right after. he had the cube in his hands and what he stumbled upon now was ordinary. the email you sent him was extraordinary.

the cube was a hidden camera, and the email contained the video that serves a proof of your innocence. right then and there he thought,

he should’ve put trust in your words.

#idk where im going with this hahaha #nct 127 #jung jaehyun #jung yoonoh #nct jaehyun #jaehyun #nct #jaehyun nct #jaehyun x reader #yoonoh #jaehyun scenarios #jaehyun imagines #jaehyun oneshot #jaehyun fanfic

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uncloseted · 4 years

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what are your thoughts on the Ansel Elgort scandal and the whole "believe women" movement in general, i just somehow feel iffy about labeling someone as a rapist or as cancelled when the only evidence is someone on twitter saying that it happened but i also feel like women deserve to be heard and be believed

Anonymous said to effys-closet: Jesus christ. I'm reading about what happened with Ansel Elgort and the woman who accused him of sexual assault. She was 17 and he was 20, in a place where it was COMPLETELY legal for him to have sex with her. It sounds like she had a regrettable experience, and he may have been unkind, and not paid attention to her discomfort which SUCKS but this shit pisses me off! This is not rape. Whiny stories like this invalidate women who have actually been raped. I've been raped. Grow the fuck up.

I had no idea about any of this until I started getting messages about it, so I’ve been reading articles trying to understand what happened and what the different sides of the story are. This is my current position, but it’s subject to change when/if we get more information about the situation.

I want to say a couple things about rape allegations before I dig into the Ansel Elgort situation in particular:

First and foremost, rape allegations are complicated.

Unlike other crimes, there usually aren’t eyewitnesses, and sometimes there’s no physical evidence, so it can become a he said/she said situation very quickly.

It’s also a situation that’s fraught with power dynamics, especially in issues of celebrity/underage fan sexual relationships, where the party with less power may feel like they’re not “allowed” to say no.

Due to the way men and women are taught about sex differently, there are also situations in which one party can think of the encounter as a normal sexual experience, while the other views it as a violation or assault. Many women don’t realize they were assaulted until later in their life, when they learn more about what does and doesn’t constitute consent.

Many women are scared to speak up about assaults because they don’t think they’ll be believed or they’re worried about their reputation (and women do have a lot to lose by speaking out, particularly against a powerful, white, male celebrity).

So there are a lot of factors at play when trying to understand what happened in a given situation and whether or not it constitutes assault, and all of those things contribute to why a woman’s account of what happened should be weighted more heavily than the man’s (although I disagree that we should always, without question, believe the accuser).

It should also be said that sexual assault is a spectrum, and does not always constitute rape; sometimes, it’s a lesser charge of sexual violence. “Sexual assault” covers everything from fondling/unwanted sexual touching to penetration of the victim’s body. The United States Department of Justice defines sexual assault as "any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” From what I’ve seen, Gabby (the accuser in the Ansel situation) is alleging sexual assault, not rape specifically.

Finally, it’s important to remember that in American courts, people are innocent until proven guilty, and I think that’s the same approach we should take when participating in the court of public opinion. We should absolutely take into account that there are extraneous factors that mean that the testimony of men and women (and accuser/accused) are not evenly weighted in situations like this. But we should also be careful before we assign a “guilty” verdict and cancel someone for the rest of all time.

So. There are a few things that make me feel weird about the Ansel Elgort situation. The first is that this girl was allegedly a minor who had just turned 17 a few days after they began “talking” on Twitter (that’s iffy regardless of whether or not she was over the legal age of consent, which isn’t really the issue here anyway- the issue is whether he assaulted her or not). She was a fan of his, and he took her virginity. Even beyond the power dynamic that exists because he’s a celebrity who she was a fan of and she’s not a celebrity at all, there’s a power imbalance there. He’s experienced, nearly four years older than her, and she was not experienced at all.

Gabby alleges that she was “sobbing in pain”, and that he didn’t stop, which, regardless of its legality, speaks poorly about Ansel’s character. A crying woman is never enjoying the experience (except in very specific, controlled, consensual BDSM experiences), and that should be clear from her tears.

For any normal person, tears indicate discomfort. A normal person would take that as a cue to stop what they’re doing, regardless of if what they’re doing is a conversation they’re having or a TV show they’re watching or sex they’re having. Instead, Gabby alleges that Ansel said, “we need to break you in” instead of stopping. She also alleges that, “he made me think this is how sex was supposed to be. I WAS SO YOUNG AND HE KNEW THAT.” Again, power imbalance. Regardless of if it was a “legal” relationship, she was inexperienced and he took advantage of that for his own pleasure. Gabby is also allegedly 5′2, while Ansel is 6′3. Even if she wanted to fight him, she likely couldn’t have. Many victims of sexual assault say they didn’t fight or protest for fear of their safety.

That said, I can also understand how Ansel might not have interpreted the interaction as an assault. I know that sound strange, so bear with me here... many American men are socialized with weird and problematic views of sex. This problematic socialization includes things like, “women like it rough/like to be pushed around”, “no means no, but no response means yes,” “a girl’s first time is supposed to be painful, you just need to keep going,” and “if they said yes once, that consent extends to anything I want to do”. ALL OF THOSE VIEWS ARE, OF COURSE, UNEQUIVOCALLY WRONG. But if you’re a man that’s been socialized that way, it starts to make sense how you could think a girl who’s experiencing an uncomfortable first time might “want it” since she’s not telling you to stop.

Meanwhile, girls get socialized to believe things like, “your first time is supposed to hurt,” and “if you stop having sex with a guy, they’ll get blue balls, which makes you a bitch,” or “if you don’t want to have sex with someone you’re dating, you’re a frigid bitch and they’ll cheat on you with someone else.” AGAIN, ALL OF THOSE VIEWS ARE, OF COURSE, UNEQUIVOCALLY WRONG. But in that context, it makes sense why someone might feel powerless to say no, or like sex is supposed to be painful and they should just put up with it.

Look, I’m not going to say I know what happened between them that day, because ultimately, nobody will ever know except for the two of them. Maybe Gabby was an enthusiastic participant in this interaction and she’s trying to destroy Ansel’s career because he ghosted her (which in itself does not exactly look good for a guy who claims he cared about her feelings).

But to me, the situation seems to likely be a case of sexual assault, where Ansel Elgort leveraged his fame to enter into a sexual relationship with an unexperienced, young fan of his who felt like she couldn’t say no. Ansel may not see it that way (and from the statement he released, it seems like he doesn’t), but he does acknowledge he and Gabby had a sexual relationship in the time period Gabby alleges.

So what do we think is really more likely- that a young, powerless girl chose to baselessly accuse her powerful, celebrity ex sexual partner of assault, risking her public image in the process, or that said powerful, celebrity ex-partner assumed that she was okay with what was happening, because he’s a celebrity who people rarely say no to and because he was raised in an environment that taught him not to care about female consent?

Ansel Elgort isn’t Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby. But sexual assault is not binary like that, and the demands that purity culture puts on celebrities to be either “pure” or “cancelled” doesn’t leave a lot of room for those nuances. Just because it wasn’t an incidence of him drugging someone and assaulting their unconscious body doesn’t mean that it wasn’t wrong or that this girl wasn’t traumatized by what happened. And just because someone didn’t intend to sexually assault someone else doesn’t mean they didn’t.

I also think a lot of women have experienced what this girl has gone through and don’t view it as assault, so I also understand how acknowledging this incident as assault may make people uncomfortable about their own experiences. That said, “being unkind” and “having a regrettable experience” and “he kept going and didn’t pay attention to my discomfort” are assault. Per the letter of the law and otherwise. Just because they’re not cases of forced penetration doesn’t mean they’re not assault, it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be punished, and it doesn’t mean that you “shouldn’t” be emotionally impacted by them.

I hope this all comes off as fair and balanced. I try really hard to not pass judgement on situations I’m not part of, and I try to take into account all the different factors that impact a given situation. I don’t want anyone to feel like I’m invalidating their own experiences with sexual assault or, on the flip side, that I’m jumping on the kangaroo court of public opinion. Like I said at the beginning, maybe more information will come out that will change my mind, but for now, this is where I’m sitting on the issue.

#Anonymous #effys-closet #effys closet

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