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good-beans · 19 days

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this is so stupid but i always have fun imagining the milgram characters watching their own/others mvs and seeing their reactions, especially for MeMe

That’s not stupid at all, thank you so much for the ask!! It’s sooo interesting to think about! I planned on just posting this drabble, but the more I thought about it, the more I started jotting down headcanons for everyone 👀 Of course there’s the initial disbelief and shock that Milgram can really do what it claims, but once they accept that, they’d have a lot of interesting reactions…

Es gets to watch the video first, then the prisoners are free to watch their own in the privacy of the courtroom/extraction room/wherever. Other prisoners can watch them only with explicit permission from the video’s singer. No one is allowed to watch Undercover except for Es. At first they spend hours looking at those final frames of themself flinching from the camera, hoping to jog any sort of memories, but eventually they give up on it. While actually watching it, they don’t mind the murder silhouettes. While sleeping, however, it has triggered more than one nightmare.

Haruka: He thinks Weakness is very pretty – he’s amazed seeing himself on the screen and hearing his voice, knowing he’s not that good of a singer. Even before his innocent verdict, it gives him a huge surge of confidence. Once he gets to know the others better, he gives them mv permissions, then stares intently at their faces to see their reactions as they watch it. AKAA scares him a bit, seeing his own intense emotions on screen, and he only gives Muu permission to see it. When he’s alone, Haruka pauses the shots of his mother, just to stare for a while.

Yuno: Laughs at the symbolism her mind used in Umbilical. She’s never shied away from sexual words/thoughts, so it's funny the video was as tame as it was. She thinks the song is fun, and isn’t afraid to show the others and sing snippets of it around the prison. Some days it’s too emotional for her to get into it, but most of the time she tries to display a confident attitude about it. After Tear Drop, she’s satisfied with her anger and more overtly sexual images. If anything, she feels too exposed by the shots of herself looking more vulnerable/sad.

Fuuta: He experiences a solid mix of embarrassment at the gaming theme in Bring it On and feeling a surge of pride that he looks badass in the knight’s armor. He’s worried the warden won’t take him seriously with the video game obsession, but he absolutely loves the song and thinks it portrays his toughness and ideals well. He’s less thrilled with Backdraft, everything about it unsettles and embarasses him. He’s thrown by the shot of crossing out his own silhouette – he’d had self-harming thoughts, but wasn’t quite ready to confront them so blatantly yet. Like Haruka, he can be caught pausing the arcade shot just for a moment before turning the whole thing off and storming away.

Muu: She has mixed emotions towards After Pain. She hates seeing herself look so weak and pathetic, but it gives her a lot of hope that her story will be understood. She misses her friends, and seeing them again is bittersweet. She closes her eyes at the moment of the stabbing – she’s only gotten the courage to watch it through her fingers once. She watches INMF once, then refuses to look at it again from shame/horror. Despite Haruka’s begging, she doesn’t let him watch it, either.

Shidou: He asks Es what they saw in Throw Down. Upon finding out his family wasn’t in it, he chooses not to watch it. He believes he already knows all about his emotions and crime, so there’s no need to go through that pain again. He’s tempted to watch it when he’s confused about Es’ verdict, but still holds off. He does watch Triage when informed his family is in it. He spends hours in front of the screen by himself. Only after seeing that one does he watch Throw Down, though he’s still left confused about Es’ decisions.

Mahiru: Absolutely loves TIHTBILWY. She thinks it perfectly describes her situation, and that the song is very cute. She lets others watch it, and unlike Yuno, feels like singing it 24/7. It reminds her of her bf, and she thinks that’s very romantic. Similar to Shidou, she spends a lot of time watching I Love You just to look at her boyfriend. She shows it to everyone, just to show him off and talk about him, even if she does skip over the beginning and end each time.

Kazui: He is very similar to Shidou; he refuses to watch his videos until T2, assuming it would be too painful to watch something he already knows and wishes to avoid. Unlike Shidou, seeing Hinako is far too painful, and he regrets watching it and seeing her so happy on their wedding day. Though maybe he’s still waiting, and hasn’t seen any of the videos yet…

Amane: Magic makes her worry more than anything. She fears she’s poisoned by unnecessary vainness since so much of her video involves cute things, colors, outfits, animals, and is set up like a tv show. She’s also worried that Es and the others will really see her as a child because of how cute the whole thing is. She prevents herself from watching it too many times, but buried under all her fears, it gives her a surge of pride seeing herself so talented and pretty and the star of the show. Purge March only reaffirms her confidence in her crime – the video brings up some awful memories, but it shows her as a leader, a warrior, a hero! It brings her comfort and confidence more than anything.

Mikoto/John: The videos are distressing to both of them, and they spend all their time studying the others’ screentime. Mikoto watches in horror as John does things that line up with his spotty memories, and John panics seeing that his actions distress Mikoto more than they’ve reassured/saved him. John does end up watching his own scenes a few times – it feels incredibly good to appear in a way that Mikoto may finally notice him. He feels seen. Now, logically I think that MeMe would be the final tipping point in which Mikoto finally accepts the situation and his DID, but if I must stick to his canon denial, then I’d say he goes on a whole rant about movie magic andt the crazy things you can do with editing nowadays. He doesn’t have a good explanation on how Milgram found his home and knew so much about him, but he explains everything away as cgi or camera effects. Double manages to sway him a bit more, as he hears John speak so plainly to him. Just as the audience had some debate on who was apologizing at the end of Double, Mikoto and John wonder who is apologizing to whom. Though they both come to the conclusion it’s their own apology, they decide that if it was the others’, they’d accept it and forgive them.

Kotoko: She’s very pleased with Harrow, and is unashamed to show it to the others. Though she’d been able to watch a few of the previous prisoners’ videos, it still shakes her a bit when she realizes that Milgram really does have the tech to look deep inside her. She watches it just a few times – not obsessing over it, but not afraid either. Deep Cover, however, is a once-and-done sort of deal. She claims she’s not letting the others watch it because “they couldn’t handle such harsh but true criticisms about themselves,” but she doesn’t end up watching it anymore herself, either.

#milgram #es #haruka sakurai #yuno kashiki #fuuta kajiyama #muu kusunoki #shidou kirisaki #mahiru shiina #kazui mukuhara #amane momose #mikoto kayano #kotoko yuzuriha #thank you so much! and for being patient 😅#i didnt mean to take so long but i kept chipping away at ideas while i got to this one #these were so much fun to think about!! i went for more emotional ones here but i do have silly thoughts too #i have that silly post about them making a competition after seeing each others mvs #though -even if they dont make it outwardly a big deal like that #i think they definitely would silently compare their videos/crimes to each others and decide whose was better #i still stand by the fact that fuuta asks kotoko if shes a furry after seeing harrow sdfasdf #i cant imagine kazui allowing anyone in the prison to watch his but IF he did #fuuta would also ask if he was a furry after cat ADSFSADF #i think the reactions t1 would be pretty positive/comforting #but in t2 theres a lot less pleasantries and compliments #aside from the obvious deep insights the videos give i think theyd reveal a lot of sweet similarities #like appreciation for flowers or cooking or performance or video games or music genres #but by t2 everyones on edge and suspicious of each other #or ashamed themself :(#i think its really cool imagining who would want to share theirs and who would keep theirs private...#rose posts

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vincord · 3 months

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Borderline Kotoko and why.

(I'm not a psychiatrist, a specialist, or anyone else. Everything that follows is just my own vision of the character as a person with bpd. I like to headcanoning to my favorite characters what I have, especially if I see similarities with their feelings/behavior/relationships. I don't headcanon to the characters and my kins what I don't have myself and what I don't know much about. It's just a hedcanon and you may disagree with it, if you want.)

Since her second MV has been released, I can finally put all my thoughts together and write this post. (thanks to my mutual who told me to post this here. Without her little support, I wouldn't have done it)

I would like to start by saying that it is obvious that Kotoko divides the world into black and white, good and evil, allies and enemies. This is one of the main themes that can be traced throughout Kotoko's narrative. There is no middle ground for her, It's either this or that. This hinders Kotoko in her relationships with others, it hinders her in her relationship with herself and the perception of everything that is happening around her.

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by extremes between idealization and devaluation.

During all this time, it has been shown how Kotoko is able to idealize people or just treat them well, but then push them away from her if they do or say something that undermines her trust in them. She takes a defensive position, because an opinion different from hers is equated with a threat and danger.

"Lucky"

Kotoko treats the rescued girl quite well only as long as she doesn't read the news.

_ Kazui

The 1st trial. Question 6.

"Who's the prisoner you have the most interest in?" Kotoko: It's hard to say. As of now, if it's about whose character I can't quite grasp, it'd be Kazui with his strong sense of intellectual curiosity.

The 2nd trial. Timeline (2022/08/05)

Kotoko: ……Mukuhara Kazui. Thanks to you, I wasn’t able to properly serve justice to those who did something unforgivable. I’m currently acting as an agent for our prison guard Es. Don’t get in my way next time. Kazui: Oi oi, don’t be silly, Yuzuriha-chan. There’s no way I could just look away from your outrageous display of violence. Anyway, even disregarding the fact violence against those voted guilty isn’t a part of Milgram’s system, what you’re doing is just acting recklessly based on a broad interpretation. As long as I’m free myself, I’ll stop you. Kotoko: ……what a pointless argument. Hmph. Since Es forgives you, I have no choice but to forgive you myself too. If you to keep to your words, then you’d best do what you can to keep being forgiven. If you’re not, then next time you’ll be one of my targets.

She is interested in him and communicating with him. They really have common topics to talk about and maybe they could even get along. But he does something that she doesn't like and is directed against her and her ideals. Kazui stands up for those whom Kotoko planned to punish, thereby turning her against himself, despite the small number of common themes that seemed to make her a little more loyal to him. This act alone is enough for her to instantly begin to see him as an enemy, not an ally. _

Kotoko's idealization and disillusionment with people are best manifested in her relationship with Es. In the beginning, she offers them cooperation, seeing that Milgram is somewhat similar to what she adheres to, only to push them away when her opinion was not agreed.

The 1st trial. Voice drama.

Kotoko: Some scenes.. you can only see it in a cell. Because you and I are the same, always observing the other prisoners.

Es: Kotoko. A person like you.. What have you planned? Kotoko: Heh. Me, I want to be like you. There's no way I can tolerate sin.

Kotoko: To be honest, I don't know your true intentions. And I don't know whether you are a similar person with similar thoughts. Who knows, maybe it's just my delusion of wishful thinking.

The 2nd trial. Voice drama.

Es: Listen to me. You're wrong. Kotoko: What? We've decided to work together, so i've become your fangs.

Es: That's enough. We have different views on it. I'm not continuing to work with you.

Beginning. They make it clear to her that they disagree with her and consider her wrong.

Es: Kotoko. I will not do what you say. I will determine the way i see both sin and punishment as i want it. It may seem wrong from your point of view. And that's understandable. I'm pretty aware of it.

Kotoko: How ridiculous... It's always like this... All of you weaklings always act like this... All of you enjoy seeing someone getting hurt...

Kotoko: You keep asking for it, but as soon as it happens near you by your own choice, you all start complaining and evading your responsibility... You're always like this... Always such idiots!

Kotoko: You have no power, and yet you make no effort to gain it! You're talking about justice, but it just doesn't make sence! You're invested in people's disasters, yet you take a position of "i have nothing to do with it"! You can't even face your true selves!

Ending. After they disagree with Kotoko, she instantly forgets everything she said before. Now they are no longer similar people with similar interests. Now Es is the exact opposite of that. _

It is also worth recalling that since her birthday in 2022 to birthday in 2023, Kotoko has never contacted any of the other prisoners. She isolated herself from her surroundings for quite a long time, only to then offend them all. She didn't trust any of them before, but now, when she sees that no one agrees with her, she has done everything to build a barrier between them and herself.

Most people with BPD react sharply to rejection, disagreement with them, actions directed against them, and so on, which they can interpret as betrayal and something that threatens their own safety. Sometimes it doesn't matter what a person has done or said. The reaction to this can be strong and vivid. ___

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Here I focus only on paranoia and stress. Kotoko doesn't trust anyone, she's always tense and wary. Even in simple conversations with prisoners, she may feel threatened and something directed against herself. Actually, there is already a post that would fit this point and which is a little more detailed. It says more about PTSD, but still.

The 1st trial. Timeline (2020/05/30)

Mahiru: Hey, Kotoko-chan. There’s something that’s really been bugging me, so do you mind if I ask? ……how do you style yourself so well? Have you always dressed like that? But it also looks like something you’d wear for training. Do you play sport? Ah, or maybe some kind of martial arts? Kotoko: ……you really are carefree. Everyone in here is a “murderer” right? Is this really the time to be asking questions like that? Mahiru: Hmm, I guess so. That’s what they said. But nobody here seems particularly scary or anything, right? If I had to pick someone, then maybe you’re the scariest! Ah, wait, do you do like yoga or something? Kotoko: ……I can’t tell if you’re making fun of me or are just an airhead.

The 1st trial. Timeline (2020/07/09)

Kotoko: Kazui, you do martial arts right. ……what type? Judo? Kazui: Ah, my main is…… judo, and kendo. I also know a little bit of karate. You must have some martial arts experience too, right, Yuzuriha-chan? I can tell by looking. Hmm… probably a combat type…… I’m guessing not karate…… is it Taekwondo? Kotoko: ……I’m not telling you. Stop ogling me like that. It’s gross. Kazui: I-isn’t that a bit unfair?

+ Literally this moment.

___

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) +

Emotional instability in reaction to day-to-day events

In both of her MVs, from time to time there is a sudden transition to wolves, the red moon and Kotoko's inner world, during which she gives free rein to her emotions. It's like emotional outbursts and outbursts of aggression, the appearance of which you cannot predict, which is why they cause damage both to the one who has them, and, perhaps, to those who are around.

Not that I can say anything about symbolism, I don't think i understand it. But since this is my post and my headcanon, I can interpret what is happening the way I want.

For all its secrecy and unsociability, most of Kotoko's outfits are quite open, compared to the outfit with the red jacket. When she's in this outfit, she's either in her inner world, or with an emotional outburst, or hurting someone. Wearing a hood is an attempt to protect yourself from the outside world and the people around you, to keep all your emotions to yourself, which are already suppressed. Kotoko, with her hood up, is cold and aloof from everyone. She builds a kind of wall between herself and the others. When she removes the hood from her head, she breaks down these walls, allowing a bunch of different emotions to break out and mix.

I would also like to mention how she sounds in her second voice drama and second song. She goes from emotion to emotion and pretty quickly. The way she quickly goes from laughter to intense anger, from intense anger to utter despair and is on the verge of tears, only to then return to anger again, and then suddenly quiet down. ___

Identity disturbance with markedly or persistently unstable self-image or sense of self +

Chronic feelings of emptiness

The 1st trial. Question 1

"Just who are you?" Kotoko: Yuzuriha Kotoko. Someone who plans to fight for your sake. Well, that depends on you too, though.

Kotoko doesn't perceive herself as a person, but rather as a tool to achieve a particular goal. Someone who will do the dirty work that others won't do. She has a first name, last name, age, and that's all. Her whole definition goes through her own ideals, which she desperately clings to and clings to. Kotoko's views are radical and in most cases don't imply compromises. She's either a hero or nobody, so she always needs a reason to follow her ideals and do everything according to them.

Otherwise, there will be nothing left of her. ___

What can I say at the end? Well, this is my headcannon and that's it. I could have forgotten something, made a mistake somewhere, or not completed it. It's hard for me to keep track of it.

Kotoko is one of my favorite characters and some of the things related to her evoke a strong response in me, even if these things show the negative side of the personality and cause a pang of guilt/dislike. It's like you're being shown those disadvantages of yours that you're trying to ignore.

I like to think that she crushes a lot of emotions inside herself, trying not to let them escape. I like to think that sometimes she's afraid of herself, and sometimes she's not. Her cooperation with someone is both a feeling of being needed, and avoiding loneliness, and a moment of socialization. But she can't stand it, because any little thing or the wrong word triggers a survival mode in her head, which is why she builds high walls between herself and the environment again.

I have a lot of thoughts about her. I just wanted to pour at least a small part of these thoughts out of my head into a relatively structured post and that's all. Thanks for reading it. I've been carrying it all in my head for quite a long time and I don't want to wait for the release of her answers to the questions, you know...

#milgram #kotoko yuzuriha #vncrd's text

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harukapologist · 5 months

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rambling about Haruka

As an ND person I just hate how Haruka's character is either completely infantilized or reduced to a selfish, evil murderer, when, to me, he is so much more than that.

Especially the latter; I hate when any MILGRAM character is called evil because what's the point of MILGRAM, then? They're all morally grey! That's how they test us. But Haruka in particular because I feel like it comes from a place of ableism, intentional or not.

I'm not sure if I should put TWs, but well I talk about ableism, murder (obviously lol), childhood trauma and well... it's Haruka

Haruka's outburst in the VD and his implication of killing animals (I know it's basically canon but erm... i can explain why I think it's an implication later) (i just finished writing the post and actually i explained why at the bottom of the post but its not a full explanation so lol) are the reasons I see people calling him either evil or childlike, and while I do think that Haruka is stuck in a childlike state in some aspects, this is emotional dysregulation of an ND and/or traumatized person, to me.

The uglier sides of being ND/traumatized, the ones that get heavily stigmatized and seen as intentional or evil; I think this was a display of one of them. And I really wish to see more people focusing on Haruka's disability in the ways it can affect his communication and day-to-day life skills more than "oh, poor baby, he has a disability that makes him feel unwanted" without actually understanding the details of the disability and, well, the reason why it is a disability.

Like, the emotional dysregulation that comes with being autistic, which is my headcanon for him. The hyperempathy and literal thinking that might make him harder to communicate with, and get people frustrated with him more often.

That and being severely neglected; I think neglect is one of the lesser discussed forms of childhood trauma and the fact that Haruka was shown to be neglected as well as abuse really means a lot to me, because I think some people don't quite understand just how much neglect and isolation fucks you up.

All those factors combined are a recipe for an unstable, impulsive, clingy shell of a human, and him getting called evil for that really saddens me. It's important to remember that these MVs are extracted from the prisoners' own memories and thoughts. It comes from their perception of their surroundings, their murders, and their own selves. The manic look that Haruka has on his face for a lot of AKAA, for example. The makeshift shirt he's wearing, as if he's desperately trying to sew himself together into a normal person, the exhausted, frustrated look when he picks up the necklace, it's important to remember that this is how he sees himself. A monster who has lost control of himself. The line "I'll keep killing to be your good boy" was a shock, but the way he meekly apologized to Es at the end of his VD, I really think that shows that he feels guilty, that he wants to convince himself more than anyone that he was a good person, that he was really trying to be one despite how his unlucky life frustrated him to his breaking point.

As for his infantilization, it has already been addressed by many thoughtful members of the fandom and I'm grateful to see that, but I also want to say it myself since god knows I hate being patronized.

It feels very ableist saying he's just "someone stuck in a childlike mindset/age regressor" Yes, and how does age regression as a coping mechanism develop? Usually through prior trauma that makes you "stuck" at said age, and that can present differently. It can be longing and yearning for a simpler time, for an actual happy childhood, or having flashbacks to a traumatic event that happened at a certain age; it is not uncommon for trauma survivors to be "frozen" at the age their trauma took place.

I think both of these are the case for Haruka. Frozen at that moment, but trying to reduce himself to nothing but a little, unaware child to avoid reliving it again, relishing in the innocence and purity of his good younger times (emphasis on purity--Haruka's murder was by strangulation, yet there's a shot in AKAA where he's covered in blood. I know it's after he killed the animals, but he's in the stitched-together outfit here; I think there's more to this MV than just killing the animals. Since this outfit is... not very likely to be worn in reality, did the animal killing happen at all? Even if it did, I think this shot remains an indicator that he sees himself as impure; guilty. I have a LOT to say about the inconsistencies in Haruka's MVs, but I'll save that for later... Anyway, back on topic) It is NOT "having the mental capacity of a child, so being unable to date etc." Haruka has still lived 17 years, maybe even more, since he isn't too interested in remembering his age. How do you treat actual neurodivergent people if this is how you see him?

When I rewatch the MVs, relisten to the VDs, reread the interrogations and timelines, I see no evil, just an incredibly broken, misunderstood person.

#please excuse any inconsistencies or spelling mistakes its almost 5am ive been awake all night lmaooo #im open to discussion but pls be nice :(#im a relatively new milgram fan (got into it just when ILY MV came out—got hyperfixated oct/nov) so please inform me if I say anything wrong #i love haruka so so much aaugh #i will defend him till my last breath #milgram #sakurai haruka #milgram project #haruka sakurai #jay rambles bleh idk #should i even tag this #i feel so scared to share my thoughts on the milgram prisoners AAA i hope everything makes sense

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purgemarchlockdown · 4 months

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Autism and Amane

(CWs: Ableism, Child Abuse, Cults)

(Note: This is mostly based on personal experience and stories I’ve heard from other autistic people.)

It’s a bit of an understatement to say that I love Amane Momose. She’s my favorite character in the series, and I think about her constantly. It’s why I have this blog, I thought about her too much that I needed to write it out somehow.

A personal favorite headcanon of mine is the idea that Amane is Autistic. Mostly cause I’m autistic and I like head-canoning characters who I like with it. So now I'm just explaining why I find this reading of her character compelling.

Right and Wrong

There's no doubt about it that Amane is someone who is heavily constrained by rules and standards, and she expresses frustration towards certain rules in subtle or obvious ways throughout Milgram.

For example, the flag for vulgarity is the only one that is laying down on the ground in Purge March, something that is usually a sign for disrespect.

Implying that this is the rule that Amane breaks the most, something that is consistent with a lot of the other information we know about Amane. Since it seems like a lot of the things she finds enjoyable (cute outfits, amusement parks, performance art) are either neutered to the point of being boring or outright banned.

Outside of that, Amane doesn't operate on the rules of "normal" society. She operates on her own rules. Rules that are molded by the cult but still Her Rules. She does not care much for acting in ways that would be considered normal to people, and has stated that she is alright with that.

(T2 Amane VD)

Amane: Aren’t we the same? Me and Warden-san. You know, I’m aware that I’m out of the ordinary. That my environment was peculiar, and that everyone [else] is normal. Es: Amane… Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.” Es: … A: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.

While this is influenced by her abuse and her justification of it, even before this Amane has been very consistent on repeating this idea that she does not mind not being considered normal and is not going to change how she acts just because other people said she should, for better or for worse.

22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)

Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either……

That isn't to say Amane Doesn't operate by rules, she does, to an extreme extent even. Something that is even shown above.

But she operates on rules she personally believes makes Sense. If she does not agree with a rule she believes to be nonsensical she will express that. If she does she'll follow it to the letter, even if it harms her or someone else.

21/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)

Shidou: Amane, I heard it was your birthday today. I asked Es-kun if we could get this cake to give to you…… Amane: I don’t need it. I’ll gratefully accept your well-wishes, but I don’t eat things like that. Also…… Shidou-san, I can’t say I’m especially fond of the way you assume that all children will love frivolous things like this. Shidou: ………… Is that so… I apologise. I’m sure everyone else will be happy to eat it, so don’t worry about it. Sorry for intruding. Amane: ………… ……cake……

She's very inflexible and dogmatic in that sense. But not just because of her cult. As stated she seems to disagree with her cult's view on vulgar things, and seems to have broken that rule multiple times before in the past and has gotten punished for it.

Not only that but she is insistent on certain ideas of "rightness" that are Outside of her cults worldview. For example, she consistently reiterates that children also have feelings and agency, to the point that's her Major focus in her T1 VD. Not her religion, not her crime, but her feelings about agency. The idea was just too important to her to simply let go.

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

What is a promise, if not a rule you swear to follow?

Good Interests

Now I would personally love to argue she has a special interest in religion as someone who was a kid with a Catholicism special interest (trauma is weird) but I don't think I have enough ground to argue that interpretation.

What I can argue, is a performance art special interest.

Amane seems to be deeply invested in performing arts. While it is a metaphor for how she's performing for her family and cult, outside of that she seems to actually show a genuine interest in it.

Amane is a bit of a critic. She seems to be a choirgirl that hates the songs she's singing.

T1Q14: Do you listen to music? A: Not really to songs that are highly entertaining.

Which implies that she knows what songs she Does find entertaining, and also that as established before Amane likes looking cute and pretty. She keeps on dressing herself in her MVs in cute outfits, and there is even a minigram about her being self-concussion about her hair and then getting it styled.

There's a Sincerity in these aesthetics, it really seems like Amane Enjoys Performing as an art form. The way she portrays her revenge is not her Stopping the performance, but for the marching band to break from the routine and to go full force into the "real world."

Not only that, but when Mikoto mentions he's an art student. Amane immdieatly asks him if he's good at drawing. The entire conversation shifting from their discussion about studies but about art.

20/07/15

Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.

Her critic side even pops up here. Being surprised someone so "normal" seeming would be an art student.

It also seems like TV was a way for her to cope with her situation, judging by the final shot of Magic.

This stuff is so Important to her that it bleeds in Everywhere. Even when she tries to hide it to seem more like a "good girl." The visual ideas of performing arts and music come through.

As mentioned above, it seems like these interests were considered "vulgar" by her cult. It's not something a "good girl" like her should like.

It's something...abnormal.

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Normalcy

Amane is not as good of a girl as she wants us to believe or wants herself to believe. She knows it. She knows it too well.

Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself? I promise! A pinky promise is a pinky promise!

She's promising that she'll follow the rules this time. Promising that she'll be a "good girl." A status that gets her a modicum amount of respect and safety.

If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening

However, there's a sense of impossibility to become one, as if she was made Unable to fulfill the arbitrary conditions that were set by the people around her. Amane can only pretend to be a good girl, to...mask as one per-say. But she cannot Be One.

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

Amane has been masking for basically her entire life, to various levels of success. To blend into the cult, and to seem "normal" in their eyes.

Except, she's inherently Unable to be one. It's not something about herself that she can change. To turn Amane into a good girl is to make Amane into something that isn't herself.

Amane isn't Human in the eyes of her cult, she isn't good enough to be one, she wasn't born in a way that allows for her to be Respected as one.

She's even Represented by The Cat in Magic.

Her feelings of pain and anger and isolation by being different are given to something inhuman. And since this is Amane's MV, this is partially an acknowledgement that she is not good enough to be a human

Not only that, but even in the prison she's isolated. The way she speaks is surprising for a child so the people around her aren't sure how to interact with her, and her unwillingness to act in a "proper" way gets certain people (Shidou) upset.

However, she doesn't seem to even view her seeming inhumanity as a bad thing.

Amane is consistently more frustrated at people not understanding her than her not understanding them. She cares about her feelings because no one cared to adjust to Hers. She cares about asserting her agency because if she does she'll be infantalized.

Because, In spite of everything, Amane deeply loves herself.

T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy.

Conclusion

I wrote this post partially cause I was inspired by this really good Dunmeshi analysis of Laios' autistic frustration. Which made me go "Wow I should do that but with Amane." So I did.

There's so much I can talk about really, but to me. Amane is a character who is in a world Hostile to who she is. Stuck between having to pretend to be "normal" for her own safety and hating having to do it because it's sickening and confining. Where her interests are controlled or considered "abnormal" meaning she is unable to indulge in them. Where the people around her can either demonize her or infantalize her for not fitting the standards they hold her to.

And, maybe it's just me. But I personally relate a lot to that, and I think there's something really amazing about how she's still able to love herself in spite of it all.

(And, I also think she's trans but that's a whole other discussion.)

#milgram #amane momose #cw cults #milgram amane #008 #I made this Quick cause Ive been Busy and I really wanted to write this and get it out #its not as polished or long as a result but its also very personal so uh...yknow #my proofreading is always shit no matter what though so if you see a mistake dont be afraid to point it out #cw child abuse #milgram analysis #milgram meta

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prisoner-000 · 7 months

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speaking of milgram characters being mischaracterized, i really hate when people either stick new headcanons on characters that make them lose agency in their crime (making them appear more 'innocent') but also i hate when people try to just completely make shit up about a character because "what we've seen of this character isn't 'guilty' enough".

example 1: people inventing a specific bully/abuser for fuuta that forced him to cyberbully other people. his whole character revolves around group pressure and how much the will to impress your friends can harm others - making up a new character to effectively shove all this blame onto one person kind of ruins the message about that. no one person was at fault for fuuta's murder; that is his dilemma.

example 2: ...a LOT of kazui theories. examples i've seen include: him being a p*do, him being a sexual ab*ser, him being a misogynist, a creep, or a stalker. kazui's whole deal already is morally gray enough!! whether you forgive him or not for essentially faking his wife's dream life with their empty marriage is up to you, but so many of these theories are just made up to make him appear less forgivable (most of the time because of some pre-existing bias against him as a character). it's frankly baffling because most of these theories have no connection to canon, only really carrying over the 'forbidden desire' aspect.

example 3: mahiru plays both sides of this. some people insist that her boyfriend was abusive and she was just playing along, while others insist that she was a crazy stalker murderer who abducted her boyfriend and made him fall in love with her by force. one of these completely strips her of her agency as a character, the other makes her into a generic yandere character who is violent and cutesy for the sake of being violent and cutesy. these both look past mahiru as a person first and a girlfriend second. she grew up isolated from people she could get into a relationship with, according to societal norms, and jumped at the chance to get into a relationship. she didn't mistake kidnapping a person for love, she didn't immediately fall for a horrible person. it's a complicated situation she finds herself in, not her or her boyfriend are the villain.

(i could also get into muu here, amane, kotoko... any character really.)

it's extremely frustrating to discuss milgram with some people who do anything to make their favorite character appear as a perfect angel or completely put down other people's favorites for non-canon reasons. it's a project you can draw your own conclusions from, sure, but a writer is still writing milgram. it's not all up in the air and vague.

#prisoner's ramblings #milgram #oops. long post. sry

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vampitz · 7 months

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why i headcanon/see shidou kirisaki as autistic!!!

(note: i am not a medical professional, just an autistic person on the internet. all of my interpretations of his autism come from the lens of being autistic. you might see him completely differently and thats ok!)

autistic! shidou is a headcanon i hold very near and dear to me and talk about it. a lot. as such, i thought id compile some actual reasonings as to why i view him as autistic.

ill be using snippets from the dsm-5 in this post. i will be mainly using portal conversations as proof, because i feel like they are the most "casual" we can get the characters to be.

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple contexts

shidou has a very straightforward way of speaking and seems to ignore social rules of "politeness" a lot of the time, while still remaining pretty calm.

shidou also seems to have some sort of difficulty wording himself, and in almost every single portal conversation he trails in and out of sentences. the only characters who do this more than him are haruka and muu.

Shidou: That’s good…… You were crying so much, so I was concerned for you. ……yeah, I’m sure. Your family will definitely be worrying about you. I…… hope you can go back soon.

little snippet of what i mean, this amount of trailing off happens in pretty much every shidou portal conversation

shidou also is constantly misinterpreted by his facial language and his tone. on multiple occasions he is referred to as hard to approach, and so calm its "suspicious". characters are surprised when he smiles or is actually a nice person.

"Mu: Shidou-san…… did you come here to comfort me……? I’m sorry, I’d thought you were…… a scary person…… fufu."

Kotoko: …… Shidou, right? I’ve been watching your actions for a while, and I’m curious. You’re always extremely calm, and your expression never changes. Do you know something about this place? Shidou: No, I know nothing. ……I’ve never really had an expressive face. Despite appearances, I am quite shaken by this.

Mikoto: Also, I don’t give nicknames to [ ] the hard-to-approach types like Shidou-san.

he also seems to have difficulty holding conversations, as most portal conversations with him involve him trailing off, talking to himself (ex. with amane) or just like, not elaborating on what hes saying.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities

the repetitive patterns/behaviors is a little bit hard to determine, since they are in prison and not really acting like their "real selves" in terms of behavior. also, since milgram is a series mainly in voice dramas and music videos its kind of difficult to pinpoint any physical repeated behaviors.

when it comes to heavily focused interests, though, shidou seems to be completely obsessed with his work. although this could just be him being a workaholic, the amount of passion he had in it before milgram really reminds me of a special interest that has been pursued as a career.

he also seems very knowledgeable in other topics, such as being able to recite japanese criminal law from the top of his head. again, this could easily be interpreted as him just trying to learn the best way to argue for a death penalty but i dont really care this is my headcanon sooo.

in terms of sensory issues, shidou's issues with his hands could totally play into those. what is specifically wrong with his hands has never been stated: it could be nerve damage, sensory issues, or something else. i see it as a mix of sensory issues and some other underlying conditions.

Mikoto: By the way, I’ve been wondering for a while, but do you always wear those gloves? Shidou: I don’t…… How to put it…… I suppose…… since I have my hands covered all the time, then when I take them off, it feels as though the feeling in my fingertips is even greater…… I know it’s probably all in my head…… but that’s how it feels.

in his trial 2 interrogation, he says he cant wear rings because they lessen the feeling in his fingertips. this could easily be sensory issues in his hands.

thats pretty much all i have to say regarding this!!! if it wasnt obvious this is just a silly headcanon thats mainly me projecting, but it does have basis in canon to a degree. shidou, with his easily misinterpreted tone and facial expressions and deep love for his interests just reminds me a lot of myself.

(btw if you like this headcanon i did write a fic of shidou getting diagnosed with autism if you wanna read it haha... shameless self promo)

#shidou kirisaki #milgram #analysis sort of not really #krav talks #i speedran this sorry guys i just wanted to get this out in the open #feel free to lmk any thoughts or questions you have regarding this

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archivalofsins · 3 months

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So, I'm filling out my mail in ballot and like... Lately I've been getting hit with the cultural differences between myself and others.

So, I'd like to talk about how that may impact how I view Milgram.

It's no secret that I'm African American. Yet, there's a great deal of people that will have assumptions on what that means, how it looks, what I must be into outside of Milgram etc. These things as we've come to know quite well through Milgram, are biases.

As we've discussed before biases aren't inherently bad. Biases in and off themselves are ideas we pick up about society based on our personal experiences. They're like a quick cheat sheet that no one can help but make in their head.

For example- Since I said I was African American. One could assume things about my,

Skin tone

Education

Social Status

Simply based on that knowledge alone. One could assume that I'm dark skinned. An assumption that a good deal of people make when that term is used despite the various skin tones throughout the African American community.

If I were to then respond to that assumption with,

"Actually I'm light skinned." (This is a fact and a example.)

Another assumption would come into play.

"Oh what are you mixed with?"

This would lead to two answers. Nothing, literally everyone in my family is black. Or, "Wow; can you take an educated guess? I did just say I'm African American is there any historical context you could possibly gleam without asking me why my skin tone is what it is. Anything, is there anything coming to mind that may explain? Might rhyme with armory. Might involve a word that sounds like shave?"

Nope damn...the answers still nothing just African American or well if we discuss the history of slavery real quick we get this very complicated non-answer of too many things to count. Including white and Native American. Yet if you ask my dad what they put on his papers when he fought in the war they put negro. Because those other two things matter relatively less than the whole black thing.

So, most of my family history is black and I was raised in the black community. Didn't really stop me from getting that question a lot growing up. Mostly from people within said community. These are the sort of biases I believe are pretty common in most cultures. People will judge others based on how they look and assume things about their background.

This is highlighted in Milgram through Mu. It's brought up multiple times that Mu has been othered because of how she looks. Because she does not look typically Japanese, she looks foreign. She has honey-blonde hair and light grey eyes.

She mentions in a minigram that she doesn't like how rain makes her hair stick up.

People headcanoning Mu's victim as half black when France has the highest black population out of Europe wild.

X X

Hmmm, wonder why that headcanon hasn't been put on her ahn who knows.

Basically, noting that humidity and water makes her hair frizzy. Probably playing a bit into the reason she doesn't portray herself as being soaked in After Pain. Because she finds this aspect of herself to be embarrassing.

This also could subtly imply that she may straighten or style her hair. Outside of that Milgram highlights how different she looks before the series even starts properly. Noting it in her character description on the website.

A beautiful prisoner with overt features that set her apart from other Japanese people. Despite her slender frame, she’s very candid, and the type to rebel against the abnormal circumstances Milgram has presented her. Due to her nature, she will be very wary of Es at first. The way she conducts herself gives a sense of her upbringing. Leading us to speculate that she was probably born into a wealthy family. Perhaps, being born into wealth is why she has such a sense of pride, bursts into tears when clashing with others, and is prone to whining.

My sorry spells must be wearing off./I am always the drama queen.

Why won’t you stop hurting me? My heart is all dried up. My sorry spells must be wearing off. But I guess some of it is my fault./ It’s not my fault. I told you I’m queen, and it will never be changed. I’ve got EVERYTHING, everything is as I wish.

And even having it called to attention in the portal timeline.

20/05/31 Mu: Hey, Mikoto-kun, aren’t you scared of this place……? You can’t think of any reason you ended up here, right……? Mikoto: Ahh, yeah. Of course, it’s not like I’m not scared at all. But just between you and me…… I still haven’t dropped the thought that this could all just be a TV show. I mean, I really haven’t ever murdered anyone. ……and if that is the case, we’re definitely being monitored. For like a prank setup or something. Wouldn’t it be super uncool and embarrassing to get angry or lash and have it shown on prime time? Mu: Is that what you think……? A prank, huh…… I hope that’s all it is…… Mikoto: Ah! If that is the case, then you’ll probably be super popular since you’re so cute, Mucchan! There’s a lot of girls out there who make their big break coming off reality shows like that!

Like the fact that Milgram lays all of this out from the beginning along with the way it follows through on it is really good. Because it isn't just building as it goes or adding pockets of tidbits of character information on as the trials progress. It's all been there and still is there rewarding people for going back and looking, if they feel like it.

Through bringing to the forefront how different Mu is from those around her Milgram subtly highlights another form of discrimination in Japan. Racism.

Then it does this really interesting thing when it comes to her core friend group in particular.

Milgram makes a point of having all of Mu's close friends be individuals who for one reason or another would not be considered to look stereotypically Japanese. Milgram manages to do this without even giving Mu's friends faces.

Even highlighting in their insect forms through giving them different hair colors from the rest.

Just like Mu herself.

Q.11 Who do you want to see right now? Mu: I miss my friends too but most of all, Papa and Mama.

In her second voice drama Mu says,

...Warden-san. I think you're really doing something bad. Isn't it a bad thing to act like there has to be something wrong with someone for them to get bullied? Oh? No matter the circumstances, it's always the bullies who are in the wrong! Isn't that obvious? Warden-san you're so smart but you didn't even know something like that? maybe you should take some lessons on morals or something. ... Besides even if I've done something wrong, there's nothing that can justify bullying. Warden-san I thought you were nicer than this.

Not one thing that can justify it not even others doing something wrong. Meanwhile Mu's first trial character voice line,

It's your fault....for doing horrible things to me...

Mu goes on to say this in response to Es asking why does she think she was bullied after that,

"How would I know? I mean I'm from a rich family, and I'm an eye-catcher too... It was probably out of some kind of envy or prejudice, right?"

Plus, Mu's stance on bullying quickly changes when it's brought to her attention that Es believes she may have been a bully before she bullied. As she states,

"Leaving behind all that stuff you said about me possibly having been a bully myself- not that any of that's true of course!"

Sorry it was an easy shot.

Can you believe she said this right before this mv came out? Wild. Prisoners stay lying in their voice dramas. Never incriminate yourselves, always lie to authority figures. Double down on the lies if you need to. No one owes honesty to individuals or systems putting them in terrible predicaments.

Lie like you and honesty had a falling out. Lie like being honest betrayed you worse than it did Kazui. Keep lying. Honesty sorry that's a luxury I can't afford right now. I'm in my lying arc trust me at your own expense.

Be Mikoto trial two and gaslight the audience into believing that everything Milgram uncovered was actually a dream trial three. It will work better than you think Mu.

Like naw be more dishonest actually. The realest thing all the prisoners have ever done was just blatantly lie and not back down from said lies. They're all like fucking prove it go on prove it! What do you have mystical songs where I go I did that shit and I'll do it again?! That's not substantial enough evidence.

That could have been an over-exaggeration done to better highlight my artistic vision- Fuck you and your song extractor bring in some actual proof or piss off. This machine was provided by your facility how do you know it's providing accurate unbiased information. The facility had already deemed us guilty of something on incarceration this isn't fair or trustworthy.

Meanwhile if they're innocent what a great and interesting machine you have here.

Sure. So, if I'd gotten payback for how my bullies treated me then that'd count as revenge right? And if you believe that was my only option then don't you have to forgive me? ...Uh...I'm not really sure what you're trying to say? You see~ If you think that me bullying someone back after being bullied is the natural course of action, then wouldn't it be bad to bully me back in return? ... "But if you were like. "I won't forgive you Mu revenge is bad!" Then wouldn't that imply that it's also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me?" I think I'm kinda...starting to get your point...maybe. Warden-san are you maybe not all that smart after all?

Since the way Mu talks is rather quick and confusing purposely Es has difficulties understanding what she's saying. Despite the fact that she is just reiterating that since she's already been forgiven it would be best if Es kept to that verdict. Because Es has already set the precedent that killing out of revenge or in response to a slight is forgivable. Changing her verdict now won't change that precedent.

Meaning Mu has every intention to bully someone for bullying her again if necessary because Es has stated that the appropriate response to being picked on is picking on that person back. In a way Mu is saying that's what trial one cemented that treating people who have caused direct harm to your or others is completely okay actually.

So, it's best not to start problems for others others at all. So, if Es wants to change their verdict and pick on Mu now that would be no different than what happened to her.

This isn't even a veiled threat. Because she's just saying since you've realized that bullying is the appropriate response to bullying then you shouldn't pick on me because the obvious response would be me picking on you and you don't want that right? Or,

"If you want to betray from jealousy. I’ve told you what’s gonna happen."

The thing is the way I view Mu's story is subjectively changed based on my experiences as and African-American.

When I view her story I don't see the simple one of bullying. I see a story about prejudice and the othering of mixed and biracial individuals in Japan. How the mistreatment these individuals face when younger can lead to them bullying others later in life.

The fact that kids like that are often exposed to discriminatory treatment from a young age by peers and adults due to their overt physical differences. Something that can lead to a great deal of bitterness and self-loathing. Even internalized othering.

Q.08 Which of the other prisoners is most like you? Mu: I don’t think there’s anyone? They’re all weirdos.

This can be done to make oneself feel less than others or to cope and convince oneself that they are more special than those around them and everyone is just jealous actually. Mu falls into the later category. However, the later category is commonly used in response to discrimination of some sort.

Because it's easier and healthier to respond to others making fun of ones immutable traits such as physical characteristics by going they're just jealous. The other option is attempting to changing how you look entirely which for a lot of people won't work anyway. From that angle it's no suprise that in high school Mu would start doing something that may just have been done to her for much longer by girls who probably resembled those who picked on her a great deal or were people who used to pick on her.

Q.02 What scares you most? Mu: Painful things, scary things. Also embarrassing things. Q.07 What is your favourite place? Mu: Mama’s hometown of Nice. The sea there is beautiful.

As someone who grew up in the states a pretty diverse country. Well Mu saying things like her favorite place is her mothers hometown has a different ring to it. Because in Nice the way Mu looks wouldn't be considered odd or draw attention. Whereas in the place she grew up she can easily tell that the way she looks gets her both positive and negative attention.

I've said this before and I'll say it again the fact that Mu stands out due to her mixed ethnicity is just as a part of her story as being a bully is. The fact that she surrounds herself with people who are similar to her (seemingly mixed as well).

Well it really puts this spin on her story. Not just making it as simple as bullying it but turning it into this story of long term accepted bullying and what that cycle can lead to. If Mu was bullied and treated as different because of her looks and families wealth at a young age. Then she gets into this high school with other people with those experiences. It wouldn't be farfetched for her to want to use the opportunity to get revenge on the people who treated her poorly before and take advantage of the system that allowed it.

In order to lessen the impact of the idea of her being a bully which she denies as ever being true she states it would be fine for her to be one under Milgram's logic if it was in response to being bullied in the first place. That it's fine as long as it's revenge. A mindset many victims of bullying who become bullies later have. That it's fine to do because no one said it was wrong when it was happening to them. It's okay if they do it because if they do then it can't happen to them.

This especially puts an interesting spin on her first cover song and trial song.

Especially these lines,

Otome Dissection

There's been a lot of analysis of this song for a long while. For now, I want to analyze it from the angle of the singer dissecting themselves. An angle that the song has been taken from before. Given the visuals in the mv near the end.

The more overt ones.

Along with when the signer is shown pretending to call someone and closing their own body bag.

All after the line "Let's see if our climax had been a let down. Ever since that night."

Now if we phrase Otome Dissection as the singer singing to themselves that would make it more interesting in the context of Mu's case and the way it can relate to ethnicity. Because I think Otome Disssection manages to perfectly encapsulate the feeling of self-loathing, dejection, and hopelessness that being a minority can make a person.

The song highlighting how the singer has found something that makes them feel good as long as it hurts. Something that's validating and invalidating all at once. A way a lot of people feel about exploring or expressing their culture/ethnicity in a place where it's marginalized or stereotyped in some way. The feeling can be just as isolating as it is liberating simply because at times even when people want to do this there's not much community around them locally.

Plus, taking an interest in it won't make discrimination stop. At the end of the day people are still going to put you on a pedestal or hate you because of how you look. Though it can still be fulfilling. Also highlighting how one will dissect themselves, cutting themselves down to be more acceptable in an environment that didn't want to accept them to begin with. Again, going back to how it only feels good when it hurts.

They only get acceptances when they're burying parts of themselves. Yet, still desiring to be loved for everything they are the good and the bad and trying to convince themselves that they love who they are despite everything around them making it feel as though it'd be better,

If I had just disappeared.

All that self-loathing and disdain turns into boisterous self-confidence. Because it's feels like the only way that person can survive. Yet they still need this constant outwards validation because they don't know if they're allowed to be here. Even though they feel like they should be it doesn't feel like they are.

I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe? Tell me./I wanna feel shame, ever since the night when I realized it's good as long as it hurts.

Yet no amount of validation is enough because the person can't validate themselves. They're always going to be afraid of being found out then hated or the other person finding someone else.

Hey, what if If I am a bad girl- Don’t hate me./I actually had a dream you fell in love with someone else. Please tell me it's not true. Come on love me please?

A problem many people who have faced racial discrimination in their environments have is believing that others can like them. Because sometimes from birth all those people are given are reasons why others wouldn't. A list of things that make them odd or different from their peers. So, it's easy to understand why it would be difficult to believe.

After Pain

"I don’t want tomorrow to come. I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me."

"If it’s endurance, I’m used to it. It’s just having another taste of it."

When it comes to Futa we see him become the victim of what he dished out after in Bring It On. Lamenting if both sides are losers in Backdraft. Yet, Mu tries her best to hide all the things that hurt and embarrass her. The source of her pain.

Because she doesn't want people to look at it. She doesn't want to replay it. Just like her second cover song further highlights along with her second trial mv.

She even states in the second written interrogation,

Q.01 What were you like as a child? Mu: I think I was pretty normal. I had a lot of friends, and learned a lot.

Yet she also states that she gets walked up to by modelling scouts on the streets because of her looks.

Q.15 What’s your dream for the future? Mu: A model, maybe. I’ve been turning down scouts while I’m still in high school though.

Definitely sounds easy to have a normal childhood with stuff like that occurring.

It's easy to write off Mu as not going through that much and just being a spoiled brat and a bully. However, I feel like that would be ignoring some very compelling parts of her character. Plus, she's not the only prisoners for Milgram to allude to dealing with forms of discrimination.

Plus, it is kind of strange that she would jump from having her friends bully people for her to murder. Like that isn't a very natural progression. Now she could be lying about not doing any of that stuff herself like dumping water on people or beating them up. However the only time we see her actually harassing a student is when they appear to be shaking them down and none of that stuff is occurring.

Then she's only alluded to being around in After Pain after her friends do that stuff. So, I genuinely doubt she was being dishonest about that. None of these feelings on Mu I stated here are new. I always appreciated how her story subtly deals with the ethnicity. I like how it shows a victim of bullying become a bully.

I like that it highlights how cycles of harassment begin. I love how Mu's first inclination is to frame herself as a victim of bullying in this situation because on some level she really thinks this is revenge for all the mean things others may have done to her. I also like that she's unapologetic about it. Plus my own complicated relationship with stuff like that makes me sympathetic to her a bit.

Even still it's Mu we're talking about she's not one to be knocked down and stay down. That's simply just another aspect to look at her under and it's one of the ones I find the most interesting given how I grew up.

I feel like that may just be one of the many things that may go overlooked based on how one grew up. Even though Milgram highlights it in a lot of ways.

Another one that may go over some's head is poverty in general given the cases of Amane and Mikoto. Like people not really understanding why he's so focused on his job or why Amane's family lives where they live etc. It's just interesting how Milgram tries to represent varying demographics. Like there's a plethora of other examples but I've gone over them before.

At least I find it interesting.

#gunsli rambles

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good-beanswrites · 11 months

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It's funny, I was having a hard time picturing what Fuuta may have looked like were he voted innocent at first -- the others became more confident and their videos more violent, but lmao he was already at that point with Bring it On. Instead of thinking "I was justified for killing this person" he'd think "this doesn't actually count as murder, I was just doing what I thought was right and the warden agrees!" Which made me realize who else had that thought. So yeah a T1 inno Fuuta most likely would have teamed up with Kotoko and been the one dishing out the T2 attacks by her side...

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #kotoko yuzuriha #once again the parallels between them make me crazy #headcanon time milgram

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cdd-swag-bracket · 2 months

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Amane Momose from MILGRAM, a music project by DECO*27 and Yamanaka Takuya-Polyfrag/C-DID (headcanon)

"[Not canon]

[ !!! TW for cult and child abuse mentions !!!]

Amane is a polyfragmented DID system. To Me. In her first trial (basically the first season if you want to think about it like that) she was voted Unforgiven/"Guilty" for the murder she committed. This caused her to, as many of the other characters describe it, "become a completely different person". In her second trial voice drama, she started referring to herself as "we", and she said that she was "both Amane Momose and not Amane Momose" when a character brought up her extremely out of character behavior.

Her voice was completely different when she talked and behaved like this. It was much emptier and deeper than her usual voice, which is higher and has an audible cadence to it, in stark contrast to the other voice's very monotonous tone.

In her second music video, The Purge March, it shows hundreds of Amanes together doing a march performance thing (idk I'm not familiar with marching band stuff). They all seem to be autonomous, having "gone rogue" and decided to do what they wanted nearing the end of the MV.

She is 12 years old and has been being raised in a cult. She's been severely psychologically and physically abused for who knows how long. Likely the vast majority of if not her whole life. As expected, she has a lot of cognitive dissonance going on. She both sees herself as completely free and as being controlled. She says she was treated well by her parents and then insults them for how they treated her. She values love and mercy above all else then seems to scoff at the idea of it.

I believe her to be polyfragmented because, well, the MV, and also I think it would explain why she could still be a system even despite the "evidence" a character used on her as proof that she couldn't be one. Her system may work in groups, so Amane could for most of the time always be "around" within a main fronting group, so to speak, even if she's not in control. The way in which MILGRAM measures if a prisoner is the prisoner or not (since it's their mind that is considered the prisoner, not necessarily the body) could still gauge that Amane is the one there if she's still co-fronting or co-con as other alters do their thing. This would keep the prisoner restrictions on her, which was what was used as proof that she was "just Amane" (ie. a singlet).

Last but definitely not least, she has a recurring "gag" in what are called MINIGRAMs. They're basically just silly little comics showing the prisoners day-to-day interactions with each other as well the the prison guard. This recurring gag is the "Amane Council". If she's being faced with a decision she needs to make but is heavily conflicted about it, it shows a council meeting being held in her head with 3 different Amanes debating on what to do.

Final verdict: She is a system.

Source(s): Dude trust me"

#Contender info #cdd swag bracket #polyfrag did #c-did #amane momose #cdd swag propaganda #milgram #tw cult #tw cult abuse #tw child abuse #< just to be safe

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nippleplayer0 · 9 months

Note

Hi!! So I saw you writing for milgram characters and OMFG TYSM for providing with milgram X reader content. Anyways ehem, is it alright if you can write again the milgram boys, haruka, futa and Mikoto (separate and romantic) on 1st kiss headcanon? Like how would they react to having their first kiss with their s/o and what would they do next?

Mwah!

OMG I AM SUCH A BIG FAN OF FIRST TIME STUFF HCS TYSM FOR THIS !!

ALSO OFC IM LITERALLY STARVED OF MILGRAM X READER CONTENT (proceeds to forget to write 💀 schools fucking my ass I'm so sorry)

HARUKA !!

Poor boy !

He's so shy, he's probably never done anything like this before

(I'm not gonna think about what jackalope meant when he said the lovey dovey I'm just gonna.)

He'd be way too shy to initiate anything, so you'd have to be the person to kiss him first

It's a soft, shy, kiss. Similar to him, almost.

If you press a little too hard, he might just shatter.

Probably whines into the kiss

Is. RED.

You can probably hear his heart beating through his chest

Holds his hands to his lips after

Is obsessed with your touches, especially kisses

It makes him feel worth loving, he's happy you'd even want to kiss him

While still shy, you can see in his eyes how he's almost begging for more love after the first kiss

FUUTA !!

Fuuta pretends to be more confident than he really is

He wholeheartedly believes he could make the first move, and do something such as kiss you

But at the same time, even thinking of it is enough to make him turn red.

He's confused, he's never felt this way.

Every time he tries to ask if he could kiss you, his throat gets caught

Finally, he grows a pear and asks.

Instead of a response, he's met with a strong, yet gentle kiss.

It's full of fire, and passion. He's glad to see his feelings matched back.

He immediately kisses back; Though a little awkward, it's filled with love.

"I've been waiting for you to ask, Idiot."

MIKOTO !!

A sly, cunning fellow Mikoto is.

He'll tease you, every date, he leans in, so close

And gives you a kiss on your cheek.

He brushes his thumb over your lips; just to move it to your hair and fix it up a bit

He gifts you lipstick when he's more lucky with money, claiming how the stains would look good smeared over the both of you.

It's unbearable.

However, I don't think he's all that patient either.

So, it won't take too much teasing for him to cave

Wearing the new lipstick he got you on dates,

Pressing kisses that last a little too long too his neck while hugging

He loses it, when your lips are almost brushing against eachother, but,

You lean back.

He groans.

If he wants a kiss, he's gonna have to apologize for all his teasing !

With a defeated look, (hes trying to hide his smile), he carefully apologizes, and asks oh so sweetly if you'd let him have this.

It's insane, you two went on so long without doing this over a petty competition.

It's worth it, though. It has a balance of hunger and desire, yet sheer bliss of being with one another in such a simple, lovely way.

#milgram x reader #mikoto x reader #haruka x reader #fuuta x reader

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corruptratcat · 1 year

Text

Valentines Day!

milgram x gn!reader | headcanons

Valentine's Day | I should probably have stated that I'm on a school hiatus ;-;

Es’ mind is empty, wondering what can you even do at valentines, I mean of course they can go on a nice date, maybe not too fancy or Es can try to make chocolate…

That’s it, Es will make chocolate, at least that’s what they’ve decided… They’ll need assistance in this one, I mean they do have some experience but hopefully enough to make it the best!

After finishing it, Es’ mind… Goes blank again, I mean I suppose they’ll need to wear something formal, well I guess they’ll also need some courage!

Meeting up with Es, seeing their blushing face, offering you the chocolate, there wasn’t any special date or anything, just the two of you and the fact that you could spend time together was enough.

Poor boy doesn’t know what to do… He’s a bit lost, perhaps he can give you a plushie he has, he hopes to be a really better partner for you! But he’s still learning so give him some time, or a taste of how sweet Valentine's day can be!

He tries to wrap his gift, but fails to do so, just this simple plushie, he feels it’s underwhelming and not good enough for someone like you… But then decides to tie a ribbon on it… Even though he’s still struggling.

It’s valentines and he has the gift ready, approaching you with a shy manner he offers you the plushie, you took it and smiled at him, keeping it close to you!

You both go out on a simple date, just having a lovely time… The air was in a romantic mood wasn’t it, considering the time and date, it did overwhelm him, being more nervous than usual but the amount of affection being given, he enjoyed it very much~!

Oh, she’s prepared, excited and very prepared! She’s been looking forward to this, going out on a nice date, whatever you prefer or like, everything is planned!

Yes, she will be in fact, making chocolate and other sweets! Your favorite if she remembers you ever mention it, she’ll make it in cute shapes and put it in a heart box, just for you of course~

She’ll wear her cute outfit and go out, walking to meetup for the date, seeing you she’ll act like her usual sweet self around you… Teasing you even but she can’t help but blush as well, it’s a special day of course~ you’re probably all dressed up and looking pretty as usual~

Whatever date you both have picked, she’ll actually pretty much enjoy it a lot, she can’t stop loving you than she can to anyone else I suppose~

Fuuta gets a bit overwhelmed on what to do, I mean it’s not for him to be affectionate with words but it feels as if he needs to at this date… Even if it’s just saying “Happy Valentines,”

He will not be making chocolate, he’d somewhat blow up the kitchen I bet you for it… But he’ll buy some flowers for you! If he has the courage of not being a blushing mess when giving it….

Fine… He’ll get all ready, cleaned up and all unlike his usual hoodie or whatever, he’ll try to be a bit more formal at least… Someone help him, he's already blushing furiously…

It’s noticeable how flustered he is, no matter how much he hides it when going on the date… He’s enjoying it of course! It’s just, gosh why are you so pretty in his eyes???

Get ready for probably plenty of gifts from her, I mean she is loaded so what’s stopping her from spending so much for the person she loves? No one! It’s quite overwhelming actually but oh well~

She’ll probably make the best chocolate out of everyone here… Probably because she did have a lot of assistance for perfecting it, it’ll even be your favorite if you have one!

Getting all ready in a fancy dress and a fancy date, you’re already a bit overwhelmed but you can’t complain… Though it really makes you a little guilty, how can you pay her back???

Of course you can only pay back with your love and attention~ You two would go for some shopping probably, oh and right, how could she forget the valentines gift she was

He’s got flowers and a suit ready for Valentines, maybe even a fancy date has been planned on this date? Mhm, yep a fancy date!

Oh but not to worry he has more gifts prepared, he’s ready to spoil you with all the love that he can give on this day, he’s calmly excited if that even makes sense… Let’s just say he’s looking forward to it.

Honestly I feel it’d be more of a late night date? But either way he greets you once you both meet, maybe even holding hands when going to the date

Honestly a little overwhelmed by the gifts but that doesn’t really matter doesn’t it? All that matters is that you two are having a great time on this day full of love, that’s what Shidou hopes to give you a lot of… Love <3 !

SHE IS EXCITED, she has been thinking about this even months before it even happened, that’s what love does to a person perhaps… It just makes her giggle and feel all warm and fuzzy inside, she’s waited long enough for this!

Another fancy date? Well it seems we can't get enough of that but she’s wearing her best dress and…Yes, chocolate! She’ll make some, if you have a favorite she’ll remember as well!

She can already feel the romantic aura, and she’s ready for more! She’s all prepared as you two meetup, most likely on a ride together, you’re already blushing… It’s just something that makes this a lot more special is the day that this is taking place on, isn’t it?

The date felt really special to her… She felt love! Yes, love! The love she’s been craving for felt so… Well, it was always real but then again… Ah, what love can do to your little Mahiru…

He’s somewhat ready for this day, not entirely but he has prepared for this occasion for a while, he saved up a little to book for a nice date, but even if it’s casual it’s fine for him!

He bought some flowers… Chocolate?.. Maybe, if you like those of course! To be honest he probably asked for your favorite chocolate at some point near valentines… At least he gets to know!

Walking there, you two held hands while arriving at the destination, he offers you what he has to offer and honestly he gets a lil bit too romantic at this point~

He’s trying his best at least! Wanting to make this special for both of you and having a good time together, he honestly wants to spend any moment he could have with you, at least this day gives him the opportunity to do so.

She never really cared that much of this day till she started being together with you of course, so this is all new to her but she does get the hang of it of course, searching up what to do on valentines…

Alright, fine fine she’ll at least buy something for you… Maybe a flower? Or uhm, what, sweets? Well whatever she thought you’d like she bought it…

She at least dresses nicely, she really can’t describe this feeling preparing for Valentine’s day, you were just going to hangout for a while most likely but… She does feel a little nervous and a pink tint of blush can be seen on her face

It honestly felt casual, except for some stuff but she really enjoyed it nonetheless, she had fun and she had… You

#milgram x reader #milgram es x reader #haruka sakurai x reader #yuno kashiki x reader #fuuta kajiyama x reader #mu kusunoki x reader #shidou kirisaki x reader #mahiru shiina x reader #mikoto kayano x reader #kotoko yuzuriha x reader #x reader #xreader

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egg-poll · 1 year

Text

EGG POLL: ROUND 1 PART 1 RECAP

the first half of round 1 was very competitive, with a few unexpected turnarounds! as always guys lets try to remember that this is just a silly competition for fun, and whoever ends up winning every headcanon here is awesome just by nature of making it into the tournament!

hunter vs tobias

this poll was a lot closer than expected, especially considering hunter was the #1 most submitted character! tobias had a really strong showing, especially with a lot of campaigning in the post tags, but in the end hunter pulled through. this result could suggest hunter is a lot weaker than initially thought though, will he make it to the next round?

gene vs neo

this one was also surprisingly competitive, with a lot of campaigning on both sides. gene got the most initial nominations so he was the expected winner, but neo is one of the most classic trans readings of a character, and got a lot of support from people who might not have thought of him originally! in the end neo pulled ahead. neo and hunter will certainly make an interesting match up next round!

ashe vs leonardo

ashe was one of the most interesting nominees to watch going in, as he ended up sweeping the nominations with 18 submissions! in the end though, the huge support for this headcanon among just roll with it fans couldn't offset the fandom's small size. but this was in no small part thanks to the tmnt fandom's rallying around leonardo! both of these characters got a huge amount of support, and we ended up with our first two pieces of amazing fanart! but if tmnt's success in the autism swag summit is any indicator, leo might be a competitor to watch going into future rounds!

rain vs finn

rain was another nominee with a size disadvantage going in. while ward fans did their best to rally, they couldn't beat finn, another character with an overall few number of submissions but who ended up winning from sheer popularity. ward fans took it in stride though, with some noting that rain losing in the first round might be the most in character outcome. we also got another great piece of fanart! finn did not get a lot of campaigning, definitely indicating he might be in danger in future rounds.

ralsei vs ken

this was a difficult one for me as i really love both of these headcanons! digimon fans presented some great arguments, but couldn't overcome the trans ralsei headcanon (which has years of support, pioneered by yours truly...) time will tell if deltarune fans can push this headcanon forward to other rounds! either way trans girl ken will surely live on in our hearts :)

sonic vs haruhi

this one was a pretty surprising upset! sonic was one of the most nominated characters, but got beaten out by haruhi who actually received zero direct nominations. sonic fans likely put more weight behind tails, which is overall a more popular headcanon. some argued haruhi is too textually trans to really be considered an egg (although by not being canon she still fits into the rules of this competition). this argument will surely come into play in future rounds though, and likely with mion vs lake in part 2 of this round!

luigi vs double d

another upset, although not the most surprising one. although luigi recieved a lot of support in the nomination round, fans overall decided this headcanon didn't hold up to scrutiny quite as well as double d, who is arguably(?) canon already (but still eligible according to tournament rules) i would not be surprised to see double d go even further in future rounds!

tails vs fuuta

this was another with a pretty obvious outcome from the beginning, with transfem tails being another super classic egg headcanon. fuuta didn't really stand much of a chance, with some fans calling it a popularity poll (this is just how seeding works guys, i'm sorry!) despite their smaller fanbase though, milgram fans showed a lot of support and provided evidence of their own. while egg fuuta will always live on, sonic fans may end up pushing even harder for tails in future rounds with sonic eliminated. only time will tell!

thats all for this time guys, be sure to come back tomorrow for part 2 of this round!

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