#i think it's a lot of why lgbt people get upset when anyone says something they feel like invalidates that. other people's opinions clash

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist?

Well, if you trust many social media posts, then the answer would be a resounding "No". Narcissistic is - apparently - a synonym for abusive, and of course you can't have a healthy relationship with an abusive partner!

But, well, social media is not always right. A lot of topics get oversimplified, terms get misused and black-or-white thinking is rampant - and "narcissistic means abusive" falls into all three of those pits.

Let's look at it a bit closer: "Abusive" describes a set of behaviors - while narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) describes, well, a personality disorder. It's a mental health condition.

I am not a trained mental health professional, so I'll use a medical source here. According to mayoclinic.org (link to article), symptoms and their intensity may vary from one affected person to the next (just like the exact symptoms and severity of depression or anxiety may vary!). A person with NPD may

have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance

have an excessive need for attention and admiration

have low/no empathy (struggle to understand or care about the feelings of others)

have low self-worth

be easily upset by criticism

struggle with social interactions

have difficulty managing their emotions

experience major problems dealing with stress 

And, again just like with other mental health conditions, NPD can negatively affect the person in a lot of areas of life. For example, struggling to manage their emotions and stress levels may make it hard for them to hold down a job and cause financial worries, or they may avoid participating in social events, which may lead to them becoming isolated and depressed etc. And yes, of course some symptoms may also lead to problems in romantic relationships.

Therapy for NPD usually centers around talk therapy, with the goal of helping the person to better understand and manage their emotions, to learn how to cope with self-worth issues, and to create/maintain healthy fulfilling relationships and communication with the people around them.

Now, you can look at all this and go "See? The social media posts are right! They are self-centered, have no empathy and are easily upset! That's abusive!" - but that'd be jumping to conclusions. None of those things are behaviors.

An autistic person may also easily get upset and they may also feel low empathy. So could a person with major depression. Yet, we do not treat "autistic" or "depressed" as a synonym for abusive. We do not assume that their symptoms will definitely lead to abusive behavior. So, why would that be different for people with NPD?

Am I saying no person with NPD has ever been abusive? Of course not. That'd be black-or-white thinking, too. What I am saying is: People with NPD are people. And people can show abusive behavior or they can not.

If someone who easily feels upset hits you, that's abuse... but hitting would be abuse, even if they didn't feel easily upset. A partner with or without NPD shouldn't be hitting you. If someone with no empathy degrades and insults you, that's abusive... but that would be abuse regardless of their ability to feel empathy. A partner with or without NPD shouldn't be degrading and insulting you.

A person could have NPD and behave abusive - but "some people are X and Y, so all people who are X must be Y" is a flawed logic.

So, let's circle back to the beginning: can you have a healthy relationship with a narcissist? Yeah. It will be a relationship with someone who has a mental health condition and that's something to be aware of because mental health conditions do affect everyday life (duh?).

You should set boundaries and take warning signs of abuse seriously - like you should do when you date anyone, regardless of health status.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

#lgbt #lgbt+ #obviously not a lgbt specific topic but I wanted to talk about it

[ssadumba55]

Luigi, Flynn Rider, Nick Wilde & Naveen react to Bisexual!Reader

Request: Okay, so I like, just recently came out to you! I know that I'm anonymous for the request but I have some homophobic friends that are on here and I dont want them to know that it was me. :( I have a specific headcanon request since I came out today! Could you please write me a how Luigi, Flynn Rider, Nick Wilde, and Prince Naveen would react to you coming out as bi? Thank you in advance!

Special request that I got asked to do by someone. I know things are hard now, but trust me they won't always be and soon you'll find amazing people who support and love you for who you are! For now, hopefully this brings you a little joy! Wanted to get this done for pride month.

Luigi

Luigi doesn't have a mean bone in his body, if you came to him and confessed you were bisexual he'd be overjoyed he was the first one you told

And he'd do all the research he could, he's on the job don't worry

He will absolutely be your number one biggest fan, he is now an LGBT ally (he probably was one before but now doubly so), he is taking you to pride whether you like it or not

He would definitely help you plan out how to come out to other people in your life, yes it would be many steps, and yes he will support you the whole way

And he'd also support you in more subtle ways, like wearing pins or even just like comforting you if the whole sexuality thing is stressing you out

He is just really happy that you're choosing to be your authentic self

Flynn Rider

If this man isn't at least bisexual himself, he has good gaydar, so he might already have an inkling before you come to him

He's genuinely happy for you

Might make bi jokes, might ask you if you're into every person you pass on the street

He will try to turn this into a "so you're into me" thing, like it or not, he's going to assume you're into him (if you're not he will be very annoyed)

Will ask you dumb questions at all hours of the day, just to get a reaction

Probably has a little bi flag to wave around and annoy you

He is your biggest supporter though and he will gladly threaten anyone who doesn't respect your sexuality

Nick Wilde

Nick is the kind of guy who when you first tell him, he's already looking up pride events to go with you to

He knows what it's like to not feel like everyone else, to have something about you that you can't change that makes a lot of people iffy and he will spend a lot of time just reminding you that you're not valued any less because of your sexuality

He has so many bisexual stickers, pins, things just to show he supports you. Even has one for his police officer uniform.

Will play smash or pass with you if you ask him

I don't know why I just get the vibe that Nick like- buys pride stuff just because he thinks you'll like it. Every time he sees something bisexual or with the rainbow he's like "don't mind if I do."

Probably forgets you're bisexual every time you say you're into someone

Naveen

He doesn't really get the idea at first, but his first reaction would definitely be "as long as you're happy that's all that matters".

Once he wraps his head around it though, he absolutely is a huge supporter

Definitely an ally, and has definitely learned some queer songs to play on his ukulele

He loves a big event so he will absolutely attend pride with you and he will bring his ukulele. And he'll joke about upstaging you at your own event (but you don't care as long as he's having fun!)

If someone maybe isn't supportive, he definitely gets very upset on your behalf but he will also comfort you very well.

He truly believes that everyone should be who they want to/are capable of being and he thinks you're very brave to be who you are

And you can't tell me he wouldn't buy you pride related things just to see you smile!

#disney imagine #super mario bros imagine #luigi x reader #flynn rider x reader #nick wilde x reader #prince naveen x reader #luigi imagine #flynn rider imagine #nick wilde imagine #prince naveen imagine #gender neutral imagine #gender neutral reader

[allaya-the-alien]

Coming out as alien 👽

Something I see a lot of people in the otherkin community talking about is how to tell humans that you're well...not 😋 For most of my life I kept my identity a secret, I don't know why but for some reason I felt like it was something I needed to keep to myself. I didn't tell anyone in real life until later in highschool and at that point the only person I really cared about telling was my mom lol. It also helped that this was when I was first getting into the otherkin community so having words to describe myself made it a lot easier. I just went and told her one evening about people online who called themselves otherkin/therian and how they felt about identifying/being nonhuman and she understood. My mom is a pagan and a witch so she's really open minded about things like this. Then I told her that I identified as otherkin, specifically that I was an alien/divine and that I had come to Earth in a human body. She was like, "you're telling me I gave birth to an alien?? how did that happen!" 🤣 And then I told her a little about how being an alien affects me, like it's why I'm nonbinary and asexual and it's why I was so interested in space growing up. I didn't tell her a lot about my other life and thankfully she didn't ask, I like to keep that private for the most part. This blog is really the most open I've been about it ever. Nowadays I'm SUPER open about who and what I am. I don't care who knows my LGBT or alterhuman identities and anyone who has beef with me best get outta the way 😤 (god complex rly be showing itself). I'll just casually mention being an alien in convo with random people I meet and I've found that most people simply don't care or sometimes have a genuine interest in what I mean when I say I'm an alien. There are of course people who don't believe that to be true but I haven't gotten harrassed in regards to my identity so I don't mind people not believing what I know to be real. My uncle is the only person in my circle that I would think would be not just weirded out by my identity but actively upset about it. And I haven't talked to him about this for that reason. He's open minded when it comes to LGBT identities but is violently opposed to religion. Otherkinity kinda falls somewhere in the middle so I'm not sure on how he would react but I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to convince me I was deluded or putting myself in danger etc. Anyways yeah this is just my experience with telling people about being otherkin so don't assume that the people around you will react the same and definitely don't out yourself if you don't feel safe :>

#otherkin #alienkin #alterhuman #divinekin #nonhuman #otherkin blog #otherkin art #otherkin community #otherkinity

[northern-passage]

honestly same...I also only stick to reading the same ifs I've been reading since like 2 years ago + as a disabled lgbt person this community has gotten to toxic to interact wth tbh

hmmm putting this under a read more but here's some ramblings about my personal experience as well as some advice if anyone wants it

before i started writing tnp, when i was just a reader, it was very easy to curate my space and avoid a lot of the nastier people (especially back when the forums were the main space for people to talk about IF. i didn't go on the forums at all) and i was very much outside of the fandom and followed only like one artist whose recommendations i started off with before finding more stuff on my own.

once i became an author though it is impossible to avoid certain groups of people and it's really hard to hold on to that comfortable space. over the last like 3 years now my audience has definitely changed and dwindled a lot due to my.... Big personality but before that i had to endure a lot of harassment, people stalking me, people harassing my friends just for being my friend, almost constant transphobia and racism, and even now i still have people that seem to just camp in my inbox waiting for any opportunity to try and hurt me/get a reaction out of me.

i've been pretty open about all of this stuff happening too which most people also don't like, though that seems to be pretty standard across any fandom when you try to talk about how bad they are. i'm never really surprised when other authors delete without any warning or they just slowly stop posting and never come back. it's definitely something i've wanted to do more than once and still think about sometimes. even now after finally seeming to find my "niche" and a more understanding audience, it's really hard and i struggle with finding inspiration and motivation because of how people have treated me.

unfortunately i think it's always been this way, it's the nature of sharing work online and especially with IF feeling so "collaborative" people really feel entitled to it. and i also see readers facing this same kind of harassment, too, so it's definitely not just an author problem.

my advice is to just block and ignore people as best you can and just stay in your own little bubble with your friends or at least people that you trust. if you're an author going through any of the things i mentioned then just know there are a lot of other authors that have had to go through it, too, and that you should also just block and ignore to the best of your ability. just because you're an author doesn't mean you have to tolerate it. i used to respond to a lot of messages which is why i feel that a lot of my harassment lasted for so long, because they thought it was "funny" to upset me, but the more you respond and give them attention the more they'll keep doing it. so just block anons and move on (i know i make it sound so simple. trust me i used to be really bad about it, now i try to take at least a day or two before responding and usually by that time i realize how stupid it is and i just delete it without any fanfare)

at the end of the day though it's your decision, and your well-being comes first before anything else. i say this to both authors and readers, there's no reason to force yourself to stay in a place that makes you uncomfortable or is triggering. sometimes it's better to just let go and move on, though i know that's easier said than done. i'm a prime example as someone who still logs into tumblr daily despite trying really hard not to do that.

and i'm not saying to give up on your work, but rather that writing privately is always an option, and it's what i've been doing now with my other projects ever since i took siren's call down. i know the desire for outside validation can be overwhelming but i think it's important to remember that you should be writing this for yourself first and that there's no harm in keeping your work private until you're ready. tumblr is fun but there's also a lot of problems that can be difficult to deal with while you're also trying to keep motivation and creativity up to write your story, and it can be really discouraging.

like i said, your first priority should be yourself, and if you have to step back away from tumblr/fandom then you should & you shouldn't feel guilty about it.

all of that to say that there are nice people out there, too, i've made really good friends here and i really value their friendship and their understanding, especially when i was going through the worst of it. and there are a lot of readers who have been very kind to me and that have sent me very nice messages and drawn lovely art over the years and i always try to focus on that over everything else.

it can be really easy to get overwhelmed by all the negativity and hostility which is why it's so important to find your people and be supportive of each other.

#obviously negative discussion under the break #i might delete this later #the only thing i dont really have any advice for is the stalking. im still dealing with fallout from that #and i don't know if it's something that i'll ever be able to get over or really feel closure about #ask #anonymous

[dailybayonetta]

sorry, if im bothering you with this (you don't need to anwer if you don't want to), another one of these discourses about bayonetta i've seen with queerbaiting with bayojeanne and that one spoilers thing. do you agree it's an actual thing that happened?

Okay, so BIG SPOILERS AHEAD (metion of them, but not explicit) and lots of text ________

So let me start by saying, usually, as a gay person myself - I've been in this situation. When you clearly have a dynamic between friends of the same gender but it's written much more deeply and with the care and with the actual tropes that get used for het couples and filled with love (and that word gets thrown around, but like, we talking about any kind of love). That happens. But what also happens - is that writers / devs usually never confirm these. Fans and fandom do more job of putting lgbt rep into something that originally doesn't really have it or hidden in narrative (pushed, that also common with censoring) and then act like devs or writes or show runners own them something they invented. Again, it's a complex issue, because sometimes authors take time or have to push for relation ships (LoK / adventure time) and sometimes authors take credit for the ships fans popularised (that one supergirl show comes to mind???) However, in Bayojeanne cause, I can kind of see where people coming from because: a) Bayo herself is an ambiguous character, people been saying for ages that she's bi coded (i can't speak on that honestly) b) Kamiya called Bayonetta and Jeanne couple - not a pair, not duo, and compared them with other couples (that also semi-canon / canon)

c) a lot of promo material art, just as concept art depicted them in way that would couples would. especially couples that have "different side of the coin" dynamic and that complement each other some examples: 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5

Fanservice? Sure. Still. A thing that did happened. d) the scenes they had were also common for couples, shots on the reaching hands (the recent one i can think about with cloud and tifa in ff7remake), bayonetta holding jeanne "bride" style, bayonetta holding jeanne when saving her soul (do i need to mention how later they did that scene in familliar way with luka and bayo but just without the kiss, riiiight) and like, i could go on, but you get the idea

d) And what I also think Bayojeanne isn't just that kind of ship that was "oh fans hyped it up and they never interacted in canon" or something. It's in the story. Again, maybe it wasn't explicit and writers probably didn't intended to be that way (maybe Kamiya did but looking at bayo3 who knows), because once again it's a common thing when writes do this type of dynamic and "oh, the bond is so strong" and that kind of thing has a right to exists, if it wasn't for the othert stuff i said about. Again, it's a complex idea and situation. And many things matter in the case. And I'm not a professional and not that type of person who cared about it in Bayonetta of all things. Does that falls under "queerbaiting"? Hell, if I know, because I never expected them somehow to get canon or anything (and if you go through my baoyjeanne tag you know I love them dearly), cause not only being a game from japanese devs but also that I know better now because I got baited enough in various media before. Can I blame people for thinking this was queerbaiting? No, I don't think I can. Especially because it's just bad for the script. What this implies of such strong and impowering fantasy character as Bayonetta is even worse. And like, Bay///o/lu//ka doesn't in any way erase Bayonetta's bi-coding or her being into Jeanne (afterall it's not the same Bayo and we got multiverses now🙄) but I think people are upset because it was executed reeeeeally poorly and untasteful for such character. And people saying it's kind of character assasination are right in a lot of ways. Hell idk why anyone skips the part that Luka also didn't got any development and got thrown in this mess as well. And also THAT PART. What happened with it - who knows what was even going on in the writing room of Platinum.

#imo ambiguity > confirmed stuff if im being honest #b1 #b2 #b3 #bayojeanne #long post #text heavy // #answered #anonymous

[fite-club]

do u have advice for trans men who have been ensnared in the ideology of transandrophobia? I've found it often targets young insecure trans men who are worried about their voices being heard and haven't really experienced transition or trans community before. I myself was caught in it for a while when I was really depressed. They have a way of weaponizing trans grief and especially transmasculine pain and oppression to draw in vulnerability trans boys. Just my own observations from being In It for a bit. If it helps at all to chip in my own two cents, the thing that helped me the most was the first time I defended a trans woman and literally every transandrobro in my 'community' turned on me and told me I was protecting The Enemy. It was definitely a wakeup call to realize that they didn't actually care about good faith or engaging with transfems intellectually, they inherently believed themselves incapable of fault. Just. Engaging with trans women on an honest and personal level. Taking the time to learn more about the humanity of the trans women these men are maligning. But what are yr thoughts

i've made a few posts about it before but basically that's also been my observation; that these communities prey on insecurities and fears of trans guys who (for whatever reason) feel isolated from the community at large. it's why i don't blame anyone for getting trapped in those circles. validating pain can be cathartic, but spiraling into despair about "trans infighting" can be toxic, and you often don't realize how toxic until it's too late. i feel like i should point out that this is something that happens when it comes to cis men and misogyny, too-- a decent man might defend his friends for making sexist jokes because they're "just jokes", only to realize after hearing something clearly hateful towards women that "oh, shit, this guy wasn't just joking, i'm never hanging out with him again". plenty of transandrophobia truthers will say "none of us actually think misandry is real, none of us actually think transmasc issues are transfems' fault" but only because they haven't heard it yet.

and i agree that the best way to get these guys to change their mindsets is for them to humanize transfems the way that they humanize transmascs. i know it's not possible for everyone to meet up with other lgbt people IRL, but the trans women in these discussions aren't hypothetical, they have faces and lives. they are real people who are allowed to talk about the issues they've faced and the experiences they've had. they are allowed to get angry and upset and disappointed in their community just like these guys're saying transmascs are allowed to get. and as tumblr users supposedly understand, you can learn quite a lot by sitting down and shutting up and listening to the people who experience a different, arguably worse kind of oppression than you

[redheadbigshoes]

i wish more people who support the concept or bi or m-spec lesbians would stop and consider just for a moment WHY lesbians might be so upset about people implying or outright saying that we can like men. these people (and people in general tbh) seem to think we're only oppressed for liking women, when, personally, i've faced way more hostility, aggression, and weaponized "ignorance" over the fact that i do not like men. (before anyone twists my words, i'm NOT saying lesbians have it worse than bi women/nonbinary people, because they also experience a unique axis of oppression that lesbians don't by being attracted to all genders. our experiences overlap, but they are different, and it's okay for both parties to talk about that)

growing up, i was terrified of the concepts of marriage, sex, romance, and love since everyone around me only spoke of my future experiences with these things under the rigid assumption that my partner would be a man. i tried telling them i'd rather be single forever (i had yet to realize i was "allowed" to be gay), and they always insisted that i would grow up and change my mind, which made me even more terrified. they presented partnership with a man as something that was an inevitable, unavoidable part of my future. i'm lucky to have had a (mostly) supportive environment when i finally discovered that i felt this way because i'm a lesbian, and i can happily say i'm no longer afraid of those things since i now know i can have them without a man, but holy shit, do people not get how traumatizing that is? to be a young person only able to concieve of love as a weapon to be wielded against you?

lesbophobia from cishet people is one thing, but when it's coming from my fellow lgbt people, who i come to for love, support, protection, and companionship after being isolated in my daily life as a result of my lesbianism (and being autistic and gnc), it's just ... unspeakably cruel. i don't think most or them fully realize what they're doing - i'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt and say most of them are just young people that believe they're doing the right thing - but that doesn't excuse this level of violence, especially with how quickly the notion has become popular. they should know better.

also like. not to mention how fast they'll throw trans women and trans lesbians under the bus to dunk on "mono" lesbians but that's another conversation.

A lot of them don’t want to think for a few seconds why we’re so upset about it. They don’t want to recognize and accept our lack of attraction to men because a lot of them are misogynistic, they don’t think there’s people out there who are not attracted to men. It’s not a coincidence that “mspec lesbian” supporters are most likely the same ones saying everyone is bi.

This is what happens with every type of prejudice. People who don’t experience certain thing are less likely to sympathize with people who do face that. Therefore they think we’re exaggerating or that it’s not real because they don’t face it. The saddest thing is that other marginalized people should be able to sympathize with other prejudices because they face oppression.

And lesbians suffer a very unique type of oppression because it’s directly connected to both homophobia and misogyny. Just like you said: we’re not trying to say we have it worse than other sapphics, we’re just trying to make people listen to us and take lesbophobia seriously. And what I say might be controversial but from my experience observing other people it does feel like lesbophobia is taken less seriously than other prejudices related to the LGBTQ+ community. Especially because it’s a very ignored and erased oppression since people immediately box us with gays by calling what we face homophobia when sometimes is a way more specific oppression than that.

It’s frustrating because most of queer lesbophobes are also fighting other kinds of oppression, but they’re actively silencing and promoting lesbophobia. A lot of people might not agree with me but I think they deserve all the hate and oppression they get, very hypocritical wanting to stop [insert phobia] while promoting others.

#stephanie answers #anon #long post #‘bi lesbians’

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

I have seen the post before and that user before and real talk. For a lot of older LGBT+ people like myself the word queer hurts. Being called queer while physically assaulted is still a very raw and vivid memory for me. This user, aside from any relation to lily orchard, has explained several times that they don't care if you use the word, but that they take umbrage with the term being directed towards them, that they feel that you can't just call it reclaimed for everyone because you should respect people's feelings on the matter, and to their point the usual response is people calling them this term they specifically have stated hurts them and then telling them to kill themselves

I'm sorry that happened to you, and I understand why you, and many others, would prefer to not use the word or to be associated with it.

However, reading over saphicconcervatives post (the one reblogged by Lily), they have an active hostility to the word.

It would be one thing if the post expressed how, for them, Queer was a painful word that they don't want anything to do with, and why they don't like having to use it for the community because of that past trauma.

But the post in question is deliberately tying Queer with the word freak.

They do not want others to use the word. They don't want the word to describe anyone. They want that word eliminated from the community, and they seem to think that people using it means that they, and others, are calling themselves freak, and letting people call them this word is just inviting hate.

But that dismisses the fact that, for a lot of people, that's how they describe themselves. They don't have a better word. They might not even know what label they even are yet, and using LGBT (which already excludes people), doesn't fit, because they're still figuring themselves out.

And saying that using the word queer is giving homophobes a carte blanch to call us freaks is... I'm sorry, but a homophobe is going to call us a freak no matter what.

Any word we use for ourselves, is going to get used against us, because that's what homophobes and bigots do. It could be the cleanest word that ever existed, and the minute it gets tied into our community, homophobes are going to use it to make us ashamed.

I should know, I grew up when "that's so gay" was being used, and it certainly felt like a slur at times.

But to loop around a little bit; the reclamation is actually working. People using a word that homophobes have tried to use to bring us down, and being proud of it, upsets them, because we are robbing it of its bite.

We are saying: F*ck you, I'm not ashamed of who I am, so I guess you'll have to make a space for me anyway.

And a lot of homophobes, transphobes and bigots hate that. They don't want us to demand space. They don't want to change to fit us in. So now, they want to take a word that is slowly regaining power and pride for a lot of people, away from them.

They want to take our voice and silence it. They want us to hate the word Queer so that they can go back to hurting us with it.

I respect anyone who doesn't want to have that name associated with them. If the word upsets them, I won't use it around them. We do, after all, have LGBTQ+ for this.

But to demand that other people silence their pride, and to go back into hiding because it's upsetting the status quo, isn't something I can support.

[ming-sik]

ok im talking to a brick fucking wall here but in case anyones actually curious the "are cishet aro men lgbt" poll is very much taken out of context and ive seen a lot of ppl, who have heard secondhand that there are people who dont think aroallo people are inherently lgbt, who did not see the original conversation.

which to be crystal crystal clear was this post, heres the conversation being discussed

notice that this guy never says hes aromantic and he specifically says that hes "not really at a point he can get into something serious" meaning that he 1) is not saying he never wants a romantic relationship he just doesnt want one right now and 2) refers to a romantic relationship as "something serious" bc he like most cishet people sees a relationship as inherently the most serious type of relationship.

additionally the reason people are upset at the guy is that although its only spelled out in the continuation where the girl explicitly says that he's asking for this despite her telling him she wants a romantic relationship if she's going to sleep with someone which is actually her setting a boundary, "exclusive obvi" in the first part most people have seen means that he is not proposing this as a thing that any given person may or may not be okay with, he is assuming without asking that she's willing to be relegated to a status he himself says is "less serious". the fact is that most cishet men are not actually friends with their fwbs and in most cases it's a code for "girl i expect all the duties of a girlfriend from with none of the care im obligated to give a girlfriend". it is the freelance contractor of het relationships.

and like is it not more disrespectful to imply that people who don't want to commit to treating someone theyre fucking as well as they think a romantic partner would expect of them are aromantic??? why would being an emotionally neglectful dickhead make you aromantic??? aromantic people are people who are not romantically attracted to other people, that's it. they are fully capable of respecting peoples' boundaries and treating their friends/sexual partners/qprs/etc as well as someone else would treat a romantic partner. like do yall not think people are wrong when they say aros are just creeps who want to use people for sex and then dip on them? why is the stance here "actually that is true but it's good actually".

the reason the poll was made in the first place was that someone got irritated that people were trying to argue that this specific shitty guy was actually aromantic and the girl was arophobic for setting a healthy boundary between her and a guy who was expecting an unhealthy relationship of her! random misogynists were the people who decided to bring aromantic people into this when they were not originally mentioned in the slightest! if you want to blame anyone, blame them for saying that emotionally abusive equals aromantic!

#aromantic #by far the reason this is such a mess is that ppl dont realize the original discussion #was about a specific manipulative/misogynistic behavior by some straight men towards women #that literally relies on them seeing romantic relationships as important enough to deserve more effort than a fwb #so ppl defending these guys are not defending aromantic ppl! #these guys arent aromantic. theyre predatory and misogynistic heterosexuals #and frankly if u cant tell the difference between that and aromantic ppl. u have some stuff to work out #its just wild to me. i havent participated in the aro community for a while #when did yall decide we were all raging misogynists who hate healthy emotional communication. can we roll that back maybe. #if ur mad that the girl didnt want to be exclusive fwb. fucking skill issue. people are allowed to have boundaries #and this girl spells out that shes been burnt out on that bc of guys like the one in this conversation #thats her damn business!! point me to where she fucking says 'and this preference is applicable to all people ever' #like @ people complaining that everyones assuming cishet aro men are predatory #they arent actually until someone said that a predatory cishet guy was aromantic #you dug a hole in front of someones house and blamed them when you fell in it.

[opinated-user]

That honestly sounds like something a puritan would say to be honest.

"HOW DARE YOU TALK ABOUT DARK THEMES! YOU ARE EXPLOITING CHILDREN AND MAKING THEM WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE! THINK OF THE CHILDREN AND STAY ONLY ON FAMILY FRIENDLY TOPICS!"

not surprising considering this is the same woman who dismisses the effect that the Hays Code had on cinema and what it did to LGBT+ representation.

i especially admire the courage it takes to claim that 10 years of racist and homophobic controlled censorship was "completely forgotten about" that easy. it's like a conservative arguing that slavery "was so long ago" and can't understand why people are still upset about it.

i guess bootlicking for disney wasn't enough, now LO even has to do it for Hollywood of all things. her love for capitalism and corporativism knows no bounds. i know probably most people know this if they actually know anything about the Hays Code, but it was a lot more than just any rating and LO making it to be like "if you weren't approved your movie wouldn't be shown at theaters" wasn't too much of an enforcement... it boggles the mind. anyone reading her right now would come out with two ideas: 1. that producers and the individual people in Hollywood are individually responsible for not making more transgressive media because they were all essentially conservatives*. 2. that the hays code was a minor inconvenience that nobody cared too much about and everyone knew it was absurd from the start. but also movies who weren't approved didn't get to be shown. and it was in full force for 10 years at least. but it was a small thing that didn't do much of anything to the industry. the hays codes wasn't about sex or "queer villains", it was also against showing a married couple sharing a bed, against interracial couples, against people criticizing (christian) religion, straight kisses with open mouth, against sex workers and against painting institutions anything but the best light possible.

just in case it wasn't clear: this is not what the current ranting system does now. for as many problems that it can have, a married interracial couple sharing a bed is not the reason why something can be classified for older audiences and that is a good thing.

btw, reserching about this i found the story of Dorothy Arzner, who was a queer filmmaker creating movies centered women's experiences and challenging the male gaze that was already felt in Hollywood. before the code, she was one of the referential names in Hollywood. when the hays code was fully enforced she was pushed out of the industry and forced to take early retirement.

#lily orchard #lily orchard is an bootlicker

[rantingfeminist]

Shoe0nhead and the anti-pedophilia content

Finally, I have made a tumblr account and I can make long form posts instead of my famous 500 tweet threads. Shoe0nhead gets in a fair bit of trouble from progressives, sometimes I agree with the criticisms, other times I might half agree, when it comes to the anti-pedo content I have a bit of a different take on this. What I see a lot of twitter users saying is that Shoe0nhead is deliberately promoting an idea that LGBT people are weird with kids or pedos, but I don't really think this is some intentional thing on her end. I would agree that a lot of people in her audience are right wing and do hold these bigoted views about the LGBT and there have been times she has signal boosted stories that fed their narratives.

If you personally find this enough to make you dislike Shoe0nhead, wary of her, or just not want to have anything to do with her then I can understand how you feel that way and I personally think there's not much point in me trying to convince you otherwise if you feel so strongly. The motivation behind what Shoe is doing is she will see something weird around drag queens or gay people and children, then will see some of the weird people on twitter defending said thing or won't see anyone calling it out from a left progressive perspective and will feel like it's best for us to stand up and say "No, this is wrong, we don't agree with this" basically to disavow whatever it is.

The problem is that in doing this denunciation, she will bring more eyes onto whatever the weird thing is and this will further spread a narrative in the eyes of some that gay people are weird around kids. We would all like to believe we are rational and hold our views for rational, well thought out reasons, but the truth is sadly that most of us will take on views based on drawing connections that might not even really exist.

How we come to believe what we do and the role of social media

As an example on the left, we will see plenty of videos shared of police brutality incidents and this has shaped how we view police. While I would argue there's far more empirical evidence for beliefs around police violence, the evidence that convinces most people isn't studies or reading full articles, but usually headlines and videos on social media. We may have come to a correct conclusion based on limited evidence, but what got a lot of us here was the same flawed way people end up in the bigoted camp.

What trends on the right tends to be videos of gay people being weird around kids, feel good videos about troops and cops, videos of random violence from POC and other things that will feed their narrative. While outside these bubbles we can transparently see these videos for what they are, propaganda, if you are seeing enough of these videos it is easy for it to shape how you see various groups. If the majority of what you see of black people is random videos of people being violent, it would make sense that your perceptions of black people would become more negative over time.

I'd love to believe that most people become left wing by being educated, looking at the facts, and based on the empirical research, but reality is far stupider than that. In reality most of these people came to the correct conclusion by hearing others vaguely gesture towards research and by seeing a handful of videos. We aren't paragons of logic and reason and it's silly to think any political side is. It's important to be aware of our biases so that we don't spread misinformation that happens to reinforce a world view.

RE: Shoe0nhead promoting a narrative

I realistically can not deny that Shoe0nhead has been at times useful to the right in disseminating things that further their goals and narrative. If this alone is enough to make you dislike her then I am not personally going to try to convince you that you can't or your feelings aren't valid. I can understand why people are upset. I only disagree about her motivations. If you find her motivations irrelevant then that's up to your judgement and I respect your choice to avoid who you want or like/dislike who you want.

My belief is that her social circles and timeline is full of a lot of right wing propaganda and people who will show her some of the worst examples of LGBT people that exist. I personally have had friends who were right leaning who would share me similar stuff about children doing drag shows at gay nightclubs and while that is certainly strange and no nightclub is a child appropriate place (not even mentioning the time being far too late for a child or the conflicts of interest around the parents making money from their child etc), I never posted about this stuff because I feel like the attention it gets is highly selective. When LGBT people are a bit weird around kids it gets disproportionate attention from the right and if you do take part in talking about it, there's a risk of promoting a connection where there isn't one.

We have entire TV shows like dance moms and about child pageants that while criticised don't get the same level of ire as one off out of context 20s clips of drag performers near children. I say near children because even if the performer is avoiding the child or not facing the child, people will still be outraged. Personally, I think a lot of responsibility of parents to bring their children to child appropriate venues gets lost in the conversation and random drag queens are held accountable for some Karen deciding to bring their kids to a drag show advertised or designed for adults.

The dilemma around the silence

The thing a lot of conservatives will say about all of this stuff is that THE LEFT is silent on this because we are fine with pedophiles or we are trying to cover up some kind of gay sex abuse cult. I believe personally that shoe0nhead is trying to counter that narrative, but I don't totally agree with her choice to engage because I don't think these people will ever change their views and instead she will just be in the box of "one of the good ones" while the rest of us progressives will be seen as complicit in some kind of abuse thing.

The problem here is that there is a genuine reticence on the left to call out weird sexualisation around children when it is LGBT people, but this isn't really because of us. It's because the right is so desperate to paint all lefties as permissive of pedophilia or make a connection between gay people and pedophilia that we don't want to ever concede anything. If we concede that some gay people are a bit weird around kids or that some drag shows are age inappropriate, I do think there's absolutely a risk of the right taking that and applying it to everything that offends their delicate sensibilities.

I can sometimes concede too much to the right by being good faith, but the problem with this is that it alienates people on my side and rhetorically looks bad for my side. I think that Shoe0nhead is a good person and not homophobic, but she's making a rhetorical error of conceding too much to the right or unintentionally supporting their narratives at times by basically buying in to the idea of their respectability politics bullshit. There are individual random right wingers who will gain respect for her, as a person for her "telling it like it is", but ultimately it doesn't do much to actually influence their views or push them away from thinking of LGBT people as predators and so I would agree with certain criticisms of Shoe, but I don't believe she is a malicious actor in all of this and treating her as such only pushes her away and makes us look bad.

For me, my criticisms of shoe0nhead aren't about thinking she's a bad faith actor or malicious, but I do think rhetorically this is not effective left wing activism. She doesn't really seem to consider herself an activist and I get that. I think that in order to concede the points about the weird examples of LGBT people being sexual around children, we need to also call out the right for being over reactive to gay people just being around children. The issue with these concessions being in a vacuum is that they hear "This dude in a g-string shouldn't be dancing in front of kids" and take from it "These people as a group shouldn't be around kids". Nothing challenges their inherent biases that gay people don't act like this generally.

Rhetorically concession can be an effective tool, but if you do it too much you are basically taking Ls constantly and doing nothing to actually challenge their views or narratives. What I would suggest is that shoe balances these takes by also pointing out the many times where right wingers spread misinformation about the LGBT, the times LGBT people are doxed merely for existing, being teachers and so on. Calling out the weird stuff from random LGBT people is fine in a vacuum, but it really has to be balanced within the context of the full situation or else you are just going to end up promoting one side of this situation, whether you intend to or not.

I agree with a chunk of the criticisms of Shoe, but I will not pretend she's a far right Qanon grifter because I don't believe that's the truth of the situation. I think she sees what she is doing as a PR move for the left and breaking the silence on these issues, to show being on the left doesn't mean you have to defend some genuinely weird shit around kids (because with enough people, there's bound to be at least a couple being weird.)

#shoe0nhead #politics #political drama #shoeonhead drama

[fruit-teeth]

Not to post about misogyny but I saw a fascinating interaction online and I really just need to like…talk about it? Because it’s really making me think

So like a couple weeks back (I don’t have the screenshot of this sorry so I’ll have to explain this the best I can), I came across a video on Instagram that was posted by a butch lesbian, who did show herself in the video at one point. The content of the video itself isn’t really all that important to what I’m trying to say here but there was an argument going down in the comment section that basically went like this: a cishet dude left a comment that was essentially trashing the woman’s appearance. He was calling her ‘gross’ for not shaving, calling her short haircut ‘ugly’, and ended the comment with something along the lines of, “don’t be surprised when no man wants you”. Somebody responded to the dude and was like, “hey man, she’s a lesbian and doesn’t date men at all, I don’t think she cares if men want her or not.”

This dude proceeded to have the ugliest freak-out ever. He went on an extremely homophobic and transphobic rant in the comments, particularly towards lesbians, about how the LGBT community is “brainwashing” women into thinking they don’t need men, and at one point he even said something like “you all call yourselves lesbians now, but when you’re sixty years old with twelve cats, you’re gonna WISH you married a man when you had the chance!!”

But like…this man started all of this by calling this woman ‘ugly’ and being openly disgusted by her appearance. I couldn’t stop thinking about this after I saw it happen because like…why would it matter to him if she liked men or not? Didn’t he find her undesirable to begin with?

Then it occurred to me: he was angry that she wasn’t willing to change herself to appease men. Homophobic/transphobic cishet men like him HATE it when women (or anyone they perceive as women!) aren’t willing to bend over backwards and restructure their entire personality just for the possibility of having a husband. If you go against that status and you’re not willing to be attractive or available for men like him to enjoy, it infuriates them to no end.

I know you’re probably thinking “in other news water is wet”, but it really got me thinking about my own life. Like for most of my teen years, I put myself through a lot of pain just so that boys would like me and I could earn myself a nice husband someday. I wore makeup every single day, I shaved constantly even though my skin was really sensitive and it caused me to bleed, I was overly nice to boys my age even if they were mean to me, there was a night where I cried myself to sleep because I watched one of those shitty “how to get a boyfriend” videos and the guy in the video was like “if you’re a girl who wants a boyfriend you HAVE to get rid of all your stuffed animals because no guy wants to sleep in a bedroom with stuffed animals!” and I legit believed this was true (for context I was like 13 at the time this happened). Keep in mind: I’m a lesbian and not attracted to men at all, come to find out (not to mention my gender identity is very complicated though that’s a conversation for another day). But I felt like all of this was my job or something, that if I couldn’t get cishet men to like me, I was worth nothing.

I was deeply closeted all throughout high school, and I didn’t start pursuing women romantically until college. Even then, after I realized I liked women and fem-aligned people way more than I ever liked men, I kept using the bisexual label because I didn’t want to leave out the possibility that I could date men, not because I was attracted to them but because I was scared of making men upset or hurting their feelings. It wasn’t until a few years ago when I fully embraced the lesbian label, but even then, I have flashes of intense guilt where I worry that I’m doing something wrong by not wanting to date men. Idk what else to conclude this with, it’s all just really sad

#text post #just me things #long post #my writing #sorry if this feels jumbled or weird #I was thinking about this in the shower and now I’m just. sharing #misogyny tw #homophobia tw #ask to tag

[guiltycorp]

skittybliss here: Idk I'd rather they not explicitly tell us over Twitter. I'd rather get the answer through the text itself - especially if they really are planning moments that will answer our question in S2. They wouldn't spoil whether a straight character has feelings for another character on a show, so I don't see why they would do it for Viktor if that's the direction they're taking. Not to mention, if the answer is truly no and they did not intend to queer code him and they come out and say that, then that will forever be used to dismiss the queer reading of Viktor. I think they're balancing it well. Literature is meant to be read through different lens. We don't need an author to tell us the "correct" interpretation of Viktor. A text written by an author who didn't mean to write in any class themes can be analyzed in a Marxist lens. Same for the queer lens. Author intent matters but if we make it the end-all-be-all answer to a text, we get into dangerous territory. People who don't read literature critically will always accuse people of being "delusional" for applying critical lens they don't agree with.

We don’t really disagree that much, but... The twitter writer answered that question (‘was viktor intended to be queercoded or is that just something people are looking too much into’) when she absolutely didn’t have to, that’s the problem. As it is, she only vaguely refuted the ‘queer’ part while leaving the actual ‘baiting’.

Queer reading of Arcane!Viktor is and will be dismissed until it becomes literal text, that’s how regular homophobes and various antis work and always have, and yeah, it doesn’t matter what the authors’ intent was when it comes to viewing the text with a critical lens. Such confirmation would only help verify that the ambiguous reading is more likely intentional than not and thus 100% relevant to the character arcs, but it’s not necessary.   It also doesn’t mean it’s not upsetting when creators play to both sides, giving one side an argument to ‘prove’ that this reading is delusional and the other side hope that it still might happen after all.

With current strides that lgbt fiction makes, an outright confirmation that the writers didn’t mean for Viktor to be queer wouldn’t be too much of a deal either way, especially now that Riot finally allowed some mlm rep in League (the previous post was written before that happened). Plus Arcane is very much a collaborative project, and a lot of cues come from the visuals which were wholly on artists’ shoulders, so we’d still be free to theorize however much we wanted. Plus there’re also League iterations haha.  

But in itself asking for confirmation from only one writer is a very innocent thing.  Like, I wouldn’t ask such a question precisely because I’d also rather wait for s2 and see what they do with Viktor next, but I understand the curiosity! And I have wondered myself whether it was intentional in s1, that was what my original post was about after all. 

You say 'they wouldn't spoil whether a straight character has feelings for another character on a show, so I don't see why they would do it for Viktor', but just compare these answers about the possibility of Jinx having friends and Jinx having more interaction with Ekko... and the way she went off about Viktor. Do you see the difference there?   

It wasn’t even a ‘wait and see’ at first, only some confusing found family reference and that there’s no stigma against LGBTQ+ in Arcane’s world so naturally affection between men is more freely allowed. Only then followed by a more straightforward ‘wait and see’ after people became upset, familiar to anyone who came across queerbaiting before.  Oh, maybe I’m not being very fair, perhaps she was roleplaying as Jayce?  — Mr Talis, there are rumors that you and your partner might be partners in more than just Hextech, how do you respond?  — Well, you see, luckily there’s no stigma against affection between men and Viktor is like my brother, so I suppose yeah, we’re more like family than just professional associates :^) Not sure about Viktor’s view of our relationship though, we’ll probably learn that when he finally stops dying. Thanks! 

#arcane #viktor #jayvik #@skittybliss #replies #text #actually despite my catty tone im excited to return to thinking about arcane

[miramilocamimira]

VENT WARNING NOW

SERIOUSLY

I have two siblings, technically. My younger brother whom I love and is an annoyance 100% of the time and… the other one. We had a falling out and I still stand by the fact that he is not family to me.

I won't say exactly what happened but I have talked it over with my therapist and he said that it was for the best and so my moms eldest {ES} and I don't often talk

We’re not… we don't get along, to say the least. His views on women, LGBT+, and political views- I disagree wholeheartedly.

And I can and will be the first to admit- I don't have patience when I'm angry and when I do get mad I get stubborn.

Anyways so my mom went to my cousins wedding (happened last week), I couldn't go cause there were going to be a lot of stairs at the wedding and while PT says I'm doing good that's just a lot. And my brother and ES ended up going as well.

From what I understand, cause again, I wasn't there. At all. ES made a horrible comment about Cousin’s wife and mom said this to him (brought to you by younger brothers information relay)

“If you ever stick your dick in a man or women who didn't consent to it, I will not only break it off but I will drag you down to a hell I don't believe in and leave you there”

Now I don't know if that is accurate but I DO know that ES, who had gotten a new phone again, texted me saying that I was filling moms head with propaganda

And at first, I'm like who-tf is this, and then go oh it's you, and block him. Simple right?

He's been going to our other relatives and telling them I'm trying to turn our mom against him (personally I'm a little like if I could do that you wouldn't have come to the house I live in and thrown away my stuff cause I'm too old for stuffies which btw being legally an adult does not mean your too old. My great-grandmother had baby dolls, Troll dolls, and stuffies as well up until she passed away at 98 and left them to me.)

It has not been nice to wake up to texts from people who never talk to me going “How could you break your family apart!!!”

So now I'm feeling a little upset because 1. Since I came back from the hospital only like 4 people have talked to me asking how I'm doing outside of my younger brother and mom, Cousin and his wife being two of them. 2. The fact that anyone could think my mom could be persuaded in any way must think I'm a god cause I don't think they understand how she works.

Mom has three settings outside of trying her best and those are Disappointment, could-be-classified-as-Happy, and Rage. If she were a character in DND she'd be a barbarian with a great axe that auto-casts vicious mockery. She can be brutal. My brother brought her to church with him once and has never invited her again.

TBF though she did straight up say she was only going because it would be time spent with him. One of the people they were next to got upset she wasn't doing something? I think reciting with them. Idk.

Back to the point, so no there is no way I can persuade her to do anything.

But anyways I've settled on blocking people because I don't have the energy to fight with them which has only led to my mom coming home and asking why they told her I was gaslighting her and that I've blocked them.

I just don't understand why people cant just block and go it seems so much easier why do you need to pick fights

#vent post #tw vent #personal vent #vent #mylo is crying #but mylo is always crying #I DO NOT CONDONE INCEST IN REAL LIFE #FICTION IS FINE #I hate the fact I need to #tag that #fiction is not reality #if i need to tag anything else let me know

[angeldiaries777]

long vent (lgbt things mental illness,family, religion is mentioned, feeling guilty.) could be triggering to some i don't know. read if u want. skip if u want idc

when people use lesbian as an insult

thank you so much for noticing !!

fucking accidently went in idc mode (fellow mentally ills will understand what im talking about yk that mood and yk how intense it can be when you're over everything and resort to oversharing which makes anxiety worse) and blurted some things out to my entire family. outing myself wooohoo. i mean i'm not concerned for my safety. or anything but it could make things weird.

im a complete idiot and i say whatever i think at the moment so guess who got forced out of the closet it was so cozy being gay in peace not telling a single soul. i mean people had made jokes before about it. a lot. but i always thought how it was obvious that i liked guys aswell. which hello i still like boys. ofc I'm pretty and very feminine so its not like it was a glass closet. like now both my mom and sister have a clear picture which is so upsetting because i resented them both for such a long time and have very complicated relationships with both. and I didn't want them to know this about me because now it can be used in arguments to hurt me. its just been so casual to me thats the thing. its just been very depressing for me sometimes. coming to terms with it. nothing u haven't already heard typical gay kid. praying for it to go away back when i believed in god. promising myself to marry a guy. wanting my parents approval and validation so badly. being disgusted by my own thoughts. see to me things like sexuality or whatever are so chill and don't define how i see a person or interact with them but to others especially people from my culture its a huge deal fuck even to rando strangers and friends is a big factor on how they see you and think of you. like i've literally known since i was 4. still clearly not a fucking phase like half of the people i knew growing up. and so many people are sooo accepting and amazing. i didn't want it to define me though. because its not everything about me or my life. its just a fraction. ofc when you're a young teen figuring it out you never know. never labeled it never associated publicly with the community. but ive been thinking lately. about how i literally wanted to go my entire life without anyone finding out. or atleast be out of highschool. (not like i attend anyways) a part of me says fuck them if they have a problem with it yet its hard for me i feel like if i am not thinking about it sexually i can never have it. like there's this melancholy surrounding my attraction to girls? even guys. just myself i think i have a very negative lense about them. cynical almost. i'm not gonna rush into anything because i don't need nor want that. if i can't have everything ive wanted with whoever i choose to love one day (yes love is a choice.) then why would i want something unworthy of me as a person. anyway ive tried to research it cuz i don't have anyone to discuss it with and haven't found anything on it yet but i wanna get to the root of the pain and the guilt. fun.

[roxannepolice]

I don't understand why communism is the only political ideology with a free pass of "well on the paper it's good", as if not taking into account human nature for your political ideology is a good thing. If every time you apply a political ideology to a country it goes like USSR or CCP, then maybe don't do it at all?? It's so strange to see people who are pro lgbt and all be in such an awe of these countries where they would most likely be dead...

As the great sage Sebastian the crab put it, The seaweed is always greener in somebody else's lake. And it's not like I completely don't get it, I'm not a big fan of the kind of hypercapitalist economy we have, and as I mentioned in the tags under that post about communism, I think one of the worst long term outcomes of 4 decades of socialism in Poland is that we still haven't developed a functional welfare state, instead oscillating between clientelistic state redistribution and what has grown to be called trash contracts. I'm not sure if it was Piketty or someone else who pointed out that one of the very few downsides of the end of cold war is that the West lost the element which makes free market work - competition. So long as there was genuine threat of superpower backed communist revolt in your country you just had to go for the carrot every now and then while dealing with workers.

Another matter is that communist (or rather neo-marxist, it's not like you'll find the impact of alienation of work on construction of gender binary in Marx or Engels) theories have a tautological self-defence mechanism in that you can always blame one false consciousness or another for all of the system's shortcomings. A lot of tumblrinas are willing to admit USSR and CCP weren't/aren't exactly paradises but that's "just because of" some nationalist element. Needless to say, you end up with a lot of social engineering to form a true homo sovieticus, but since all of education is already social engineering, then to protest would be hypocrisy, wouldn't it? And when it comes to people being upset about communist symbols abd personnages being used positively, then you can always clutch your pearls with whataboutism on national flags waving despite historical attricities 🤷

On a less constructivist and more idealistic side, there's something to be said for how flattering the "human nature" is in leftist ideals. Where capitalism shows you competition of everyone with everyone, socialism gives you essentially peaceful human whose aggressive or selfish impulses come from outside. It's the lost paradise myth all over again. The evil serpent comes with desire for more instead of vegetating in your garden which gives you anything you might ever justly want (incidentally, Fromm with his application of psychoanalysis to society compared communism to "archetypal" matriarchy, as opposed to "patriarchal" capitalism; where toxic patriarchy makes you always strive for more than you'd ever consume while cutting you off emotionally, toxic matriarchy will give you everything you'd ever need while making you completely dependent emotionally; he concluded the most functional society as happiest individual will combine the best of both).

I think there's also a more potentially optimistic level to the online image of communism, which lies in the "global village" of network society. The big reason historical communist states' economy was so. bloody. inefficient, and extensive, amd get away from me if you think ecology was on anyone's mind in the east bloc is centralization. Centrally steered economy means someone up top decides that we will produce x cars y shoes z wardrobes relying on imperfect statistics and so you end up with falling apart cars, shoes in unwearable size (not to mention such bourgeois concepts like they're plain not to your taste) and wardrobes that you already have (luckily, someone might be willing to trade your wrong sized ugly shoes in exchange for two packs of cigarettes they don't smoke). And no, you didn't just have to present a talon and get it, you still had to pay for it (I have some relatives living in France since WWII and according to them 60s French rioters believed there was no money in the east bloc 🙃🙃🙃). I think many people hope that the fast flow of global information might alleviate this problem. Theoretically, you can now have a situation where people en masse provide exact information of what they need. This kind of relies on the observation that communism does sometimes work - in really small communities of willing participants. If you see network society as a global village, then perhaps there is some potential for improvement. That's not say "oh but communism could really work now!" But this is a genuine qualitative difference and I wish both private corporations and political parties were making more use of it. On the other hand, providing live information on what people want and need is exactly what free market is supposed to do - the buyer constantly shows what they're willing to get for what price. (And I would LOVE beholding this website of proudly socially inept people haggling shoes for alcohol face to face instead of paying with their non-physical money without the need to make eye contact).

I suppose the problem is always monopolization, which erases all healthy competition (in the sense that you have to either lower your prices or improve quality) and this is definitely more and more visible in the current capitalism. What western tumblrinas don't seem to understand is that state run communism is monopolistic by default - your only provider is the state and any sign of individual entrepreneurship is a proof you want to undermine the state and therefore are against THE (ONLY TRUE) PEOPLE so off with your head for collective benefit.

Oh, and when it comes to LGBTQ+ matters specifically in the east bloc. They were mostly criminalised and considered mental illnesses, although probably the most telling stories come from the brief moments when it was decriminalised. People were still being persecuted in workplaces and their identity or orientation used as a leverage against them by state forces. All of this was just happening not so much legally or illegally but in a secret third way 🙃🙃

#i hope i'm not rambling too much but i sometimes get confronted with people thinking stalin was history's good guy #and end up dissociating via how amazing the plurality of perception can be #also sorry for sociological jargon it's just one of those cases where a word really gets the meaning