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#i think bc i stopped repressing it or normalizing it
weenhands · 1 year
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i wanna die im sorry gerard i let you down but this gender stuff is kicking my ass
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tortellinigirl · 2 years
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I feel like recently, ADHD has kind of become shorthand for “a person who is annoying online and has no real problems,” and I don’t really think that’s awesome news, given the context that ADHD has a long history of being disregarded as a made up disorder that’s just an excuse for poor/obnoxious behavior, no matter how much scientific research proves otherwise. ADHD is not by any means the only disorder that has people making a thousand misleading tiktoks about it, so perhaps do some critical thinking about why specifically ADHD has become the poster child for that behavior. There are certainly valid criticisms to be made of the way we discuss mental health online, but maybe use your brain and determine why this disorder in particular is the one that’s easiest to point at for being “annoying” and “not that big of a deal.”
#idk maybe if u actually watched a couple of the tiktoks u might learn that the lack of focus thing is reall not the main issue#its just what the people around us are most likely to notice and be bothered by#not saying it doesnt get obnoxious seeing people say the same thing over and over#and yes some people are like purposely vague and disingenuous about the symptoms to get views from people thinking they have it now#but i see that with everything. like autism PTSD depression OCD anxiety#im always getting tiktoks saying that im a lesbian or i have repressed memories or “x normal thing is a symptom of y disorder!!”#and yes its annoying but its probably somewhat helpful to people who actually are dealing w those things#and also like. if u simply stop treating ur for you page like a crystal ball that sees into your soul and reflects it back#and realize its just an algorithm designed to make u interact whether thats bc u like what u saw or fucking hated it#then u will not be as bothered !#but yes our generation seems to have a habit of constantly trying to find the right box to out ourselves in so we can be like. “marketable”#like people seem to want to design their personality like an movie character or something#but its so shitty that we’re dog piling all that on ADHD as if our specific disorder has anything to do with it#also personally i think its kind of normal to be really focused on a particular aspect of your identity when u just discovered it#and it usually evens out and just becomes part of the background of your identity#but yes there’s often a problem with pathologizing normal things#but i think its important to recognize that lots of things that are normal occasionally are pathological in excess. like thats how it works#like we’ve all been through how being sad sometimes is not the same as depression#why cant we grasp that occasionally going into a room and forgetting why you’re there isnt the same as ADHD#my posts
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idealest-of-ideals · 1 month
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Enemies to lovers kousano.
Thats all.
#To ME their relationship would be sooooo sskk coded#They would hate each others guts and talk shit about one another behind their backs#I saw this one art of them both beating each other up and I can't stop thinking about it#Like obviously they're not that action oriented but I think they would still pull some shitty stuff over one another#Yosano would hate kouyou bc she thinks she's a cocky prissy bastard in the same way she kinda hated on chuuya that one ep#Also the fact that she works so loyally under mori. who. we all know what.#And also kouyou abusing and manipulating kyouka in a similar way as to how mori manipulated her#Kouyou would hate yosano too. not to as much of an extent as yosano would#But. enough#It would probably be similar to akus jealousy towards atsushi#How yosano was able to grow and leave the toxic environment she was in (mori) and become a person who can love themselves and shit#And how kouyou couldn't escape the mafia as a kid#So she convinced herself into believing she didn't really deserve a normal life#But her hatred of yosano is wayyyyy more repressed#Since she's more on the logical side#And since kyouka cares for yosano too#So she wouldn't deprive kyouka of another person in her life#But as time goes on and kyouka heals and learns to accept and understand kouyou for her (undoubtedly) toxic actions#This is where the shin soukou-esque shit comes in#They obviously don't partner up and shit#Since they have basically nothing to do with each other in their respective organisations#But they try to get to know each other???????#Idk how romantic relationships work but from here on they get all competitively flirty and lovey dovey#And yeah#Idk#These are a fuck load of tags#I should've just wrote this in the post itself#Bsd#Bungou Stray Dogs#Kousano
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llumimoon · 1 year
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…having thoughts abt gnc or transfem sparrow……
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villalunae · 5 months
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stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
stop 👏 telling 👏 lesbians 👏 to be 👏 attracted 👏 to 👏 MEN
#personal#SAW A POST. LOST MY MIND#''nothing changed u mistook a man for a butch and were attracted to them so really youre just small minded and should be okay with that#attraction bc clearly you hate yourself <3''#This Is The Lesbophobia We Are Talking About When You Guys Pretend We Cant Have Boundaries#like ohhh ishould just love a man instead <3 i should change my sexuality for you <3 i should just fuck guys huh <3#how fucking dismissive of our experiences. how deeply sick and disgusting of you. i hope ur an adult so i wont feel bad ripping ur hair out#like how dare you! how dare you tell me NOTHING changed. how dare you look me in the eye and tell me that its the same#its not! its not. sorry some people are comfortable with labels that assert boundaries xoxo to you but im a lesbian bc i like women. not bc#i have an aesthetic attraction to a person. if i see a butch i think oh! a butch! a fellow lesbian! and am attracted#turns out to be a guy? oh! not a butch! not a fellow lesbian! nevermind :) and omg i am so normal for that <333#like god. GOD. what a fucking piece of shit to tell lesbians we should just Let ourselves be attracted to men bc we secretly do anyway#top ten reasons i hate associating with ppl who flout no labels like it works for you im glad but you keep shoving that down my throat#and im going to commit vehicular manslaughter#i have boundaries for a reason! i am attracted to women! i dont like men! WHAT IS SO HARD TO GET THROUGH YOUR HEAD#stop TELLING every lesbian theyre secretly bi but theyre repressing and too attached to the label i will FUCKING kill you#ANYWAY. IGNORE ME LMFAO
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derelictdumbass · 2 years
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lays in bed face down thinking about hurt comfort and sobbing uncotrollably into my pillow
#nadine is typing...#LISTEN. SHUT UP#listen.#it's only at 12 am that my mind can come up with these banger ouchies specifically catered to me#this always happens after I make violent Dean content I gotta go all what if he just yearns to be soft and gentle and loved#and what if he's always on the edge of snapping bc Joseph is always offering him the peace he craves so deeply#what if we wants to stop fighting bc he's been fighting since he was born and he's tired#that's one of the reasons his and Jacob's dynamic drives me feral bc like#they are both survivors who have been fighting since forever and they will kill to protect themselves and their family#but Dean got to be soft for a while. he got to enjoy normal life while Jacob was off doing his Hannibal arc#and Jacob just brings all that repressed anger and survival instinct out in Dean during the reaping#he pushes him to the extreme and is trying to morph him into the part of him he hates most#which is in stark contrast to Joseph trying to break him down to be docile and pliant#they rlly fuck each other over with their very diff plans for Dean lmao#meanwhile John and Faith are just in the bg having emotionally intense moments with Dean that are entirely too vulnerable and fragile#tired rambling anyway the hurt/comfort is Joseph/Dean themed tonight and I think they should kiss#I think Dean should get to crumble and break into tiny pieces and cling to Joseph like he's a lifeline#a very unstable lifeline that is actually dragging him further underwater but still :)#days are full of cramming to get this diploma fucking done 12 am is full of yearning
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depresseddepot · 2 years
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so like. after i realized i had adhd it felt like my adhd got worse bc i was seeing symptoms everywhere, but it was really just bc i was paying full attention to it for the first time. now that i know i have autism too, it's doing the same thing, where i feel like its getting worse and harder to manage so i'm going to have to get really good at acting really quickly or i'm going to have to figure out how to not have a mental breakdown when my masking isn't working like it's supposed to
#i know nobody asked but. ive been out of sorts for the last month now#im also trying to keep this relatively light hearted but uh. uh! i don't know anymore if my personality is something i made up or not!#my sense of self is completely tied to my ability to mask and adapt to social situations i don't understand and it isn't working right now!#who am i outside of this construct!! bc right now i feel like im 10 years old again wearing the costume of a 21 year old!!!!#have i really not progressed past that!!!!!!! has all of my efforts just been to improve this fucking shell and not who i actually am!!!!#anyway. light hearted.#i hoping this is just exacerbated by current events and not like. the way my life will be from now on#i repressed that shit so desperately and hated myself so much i didn't even stop to think that maybe it was something i couldn't change#ive always been too slow at changing behaviors or too hard to understand etc etc#so i just repressed everything that was making me that way and somehow came to believe they were personal faults and not. u know. symptoms.#cant look anyone in the eye and am so tense in public settings i get exhausted right away from sheer exertion?#yeah that must be normal. im just a piece of shit who can't grow up and am so stupid my peers are passing me by ♡ /s#can't do anything new socially like making a phone call unless i see someone else do it first so i can copy their words and make a script?#yeah its definietly normal to have a social ability completely made up of patchwork quotes /s#and get paralyzed when someone asks something The Script can't answer bc you don't know how to use your own words#hmm. hmm! i hate myself (and i hate living here ♡)
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charmedreincarnation · 5 months
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Hey, guys! I've been receiving a ton of messages in response to my last post. It's reminding me of how I first discovered shifting. I feel like doing a little story time since Ive just passed the three-year mark of my discovery, and I've been reminiscing with friends about it.
I remember being in a very dark place when I stumbled upon shifting. I was depressed, and very suicidal. Yet, there was this unshakeable optimism inside me that I was meant for an extraordinary life. Despite my mental state, I had a lot of knowledge of subliminals and the law of attraction (-_-). These gave me hope, but they weren't enough tbh. I didn't want to attract my dream life through practicing gratitude or becoming a magnet for my desires or whatever. Nor did I want to have to listen to subliminals for years on end to achieve my goals. My list of desires was so long, and I needed everything to change that going step by step and waiting years for each one to manifest just wasn't feasible.
But I refused to give up. One day, after a particularly hard day of being sad per usual, I searched on Quora for something like "fastest most powerful subliminals on YouTube ever" (Y’all 😭😭). Among the recommended sub creators, I found a video called "Desired Life: Reality Shifting". The description promised everything I had ever wanted: waking up with all your desires fulfilled permanently in short. It piqued my curiosity so much. Could I really just wake up with my dream life, family, house, wealth, all based on my scripts and imagination?
Growing up, I was a heavy maladaptive daydreamer. From ages 10-17, I created alternate lives in my head, telling myself I would go there someday. I was always doing SATs (State Akin to Sleep), and I think that's what kept me from ending it all. I was constantly in the wish fulfilled state, even though I didn't know what that was at the time.
Back to my story, I went into the comments of that video and came across a guy who claimed that after a week of using this subliminal, he woke up with a new life as a multi-millionaire living in his dream penthouse. I messaged him, and he gave me his Instagram which showcased his luxurious life. He had what seemed like a perfect relationship, he was very attractive, had so many cars, and travelled 24/7 while having a six figures amount of followers. He was living proof that this wasn't just scripting. Also the law of attraction community is known for their mad expensive coaching.. like hundreds of dollars per hour for questions and he was answering it all for free something I didn’t see the law of attraction community. And I talked to him for hours! He never got mad, he had proof, and he was kind, proof and the behavior of someone who really had mastered the art of life.
After our conversation, I spent the next couple of months doing research. I found numerous stories about glitches in the matrix, accidental shifting, people entering parallel realities, and eventually, shifting communities on platforms like Amino and Reddit. It was stuff I already believed in and did in my imagination; I just didn’t know there was a term for it.
Then I got reminded of a memory that I had seriously repressed bc it was so fucking weird. When I was 6 and my brother was 3, we were absolutely obsessed with dodo birds. One day, we were outside playing, and on god time seemed to stop. Out of nowhere, a dodo bird appeared. I know you’re probably like “maya be so fr rn you were a kid” but no, This wasn't just our young imaginations running wild - there was a bird that was huge, dinosaur-like, exactly how dodos are described in books and pictures we had.
Then things got weirder. Suddenly it started raining eggs. Big, large eggs everywhere it was so gross and my brother and I were a mess. We were young, sure, but not stupid. We knew this wasn't normal. My brother and I rushed inside to tell our dad. When I managed to drag him outside, he was furious, accusing me of throwing eggs everywhere. To this day, he tells the story of the time I "trashed the backyard with eggs." And every time, I'm like, "Dad, where would I get that many eggs?" We didn’t have eggs but so he assumed I stole them and we went inside for hours and it was magically cleaned. So he also tells the story of how responsible I am and how I took accountability for my actions even as a child. I didn’t clean that shit bro and I tell him that too and he just laughs it makes me so mad.
My brother, who knows I'm into reality shifting (though he doesn’t really believe in it), can't explain that day either. He often shrugs it off as a "glitch in the matrix," which honestly, well no duh it is a shift dummie. He does believe in manifesting but only bc he has seen me use it and he experiences the good things I manifest as well. They’re the same thing anyways but that isn’t the point
The reason I'm bringing up this bizarre childhood memory is because during my months of research into shifting, I found countless stories of accidental shifts, people entering the void, entering parallel universes, time glitches, examples of the Mandela effect first hand, glitches in the matrix and etc. It was like uncovering a myriad of experiences that confirmed what I already believed: we can change and choose our reality. I just didn’t know the phenomena had a name. Obviously in the future I came across other things like the law of assumption, the void state, etc etc but this was where it started.
I wish I had saved all those fascinating stories, posts, and blogs. I might go back and compile everything I found because they were so real and enlightening. It will probably take forever tho if I do choose to do that, but I think it's worth sharing.
In the meantime, check out this accounts of accidental shifts that my friend shared with me this account https://instagram.com/tessicavision?igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA== based off the Glitch in the Matrix subreddit which is also a goldmine of people experiencing similar phenomena. It helped me make sense of my own experiences and might do the same for you.
I don’t want this to be too long and I already got to the point I think! but regardless stay curious and realize you’re really not that special. I mean ofc you are, i mean this is not some tumblr thing teens girls discovered or created and isn’t even limited to “spiritually/manifesting inclined people” I think at the beginning of my journey people talking about accidental shifts and such, inspired me more than purposeful success stories because they really have no reason to lie and they were looking for answers just like I was.
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ghouljams · 10 months
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GHOUL I LOVE YOU BUT I’VE JUST BEEN BINGE READING (i don’t get yer notifs for some reason) AND I STUMBLED ACROSS DIE AND GHOST AND YOU CUT IT OFF RIGHT WHEN THEY WERE GONNA FUCK (or i assume so) AND SO
… may i humbly ask . may i . my lord ? my liege ? may we … get a snippet of Die and Ghosty . bc somehow i feel like their sex would either be Feral or Barely Enough To Call Sex and no in between
God yeah what would their sex be like? I think Die is so starved at this point that she's liable to try and drain Ghost dry, but at the same time she can't because he's technically in charge of her so she really has to ration because she doesn't know how much Ghost can take... hmm
The issue is that Ghost is an absolute bastard who's been eyeing his demon since she showed up.
Ghost grinds against you, and you hitch your legs around his waist, ankles crossed behind his back to keep him held tight and close. You're too quick to magic your skirts away.
"This what you needed? Cock keeps you off the corpses, yeah?" He murmurs, you nod and tilt your hips for a better angle. The tight hold you have on your control is fraying each time he rocks his clothed cock against your bare cunt. The desperate need he inspires in you, it's like dangling a gourmet meal in front of a starving child. You only have so much willpower, and being a demon cuts your desire to maintain it in half. You love frottage as much as the next demon but this isn't going to sate your hunger.
Your fingers fly to the waistband of his sweats, you dont want to rip the soft grey fabric under your all too eager hand, but some sacrifices must be made. Ghost stops his movements, letting you push his pants down, your fingers splayed greedily against the deep v of his hips, his skin warm and tight over the muscles if his stomach.
"Come on sweetheart, almost there," he teases, hardly twitching to help you towards your goal. With how little work he lets you do in the field you're surprised he's making you work for your dinner. You slide your hand lower, fingers wrapping around Ghost's rapidly hardening cock. He stays held for you even as you stroke him under his pants, but you can feel the way his muscles ache with the desire to thrust into your hand. All that delicious desire he's let build for you drools out the tip of his cock into your hand, slicking your grip so nicely you'd think it was magic. And who's to say it isnt?
You squeeze him a little harder than you normally would and he groans. Ghost hovers over you, his eyes dark through the opening of his balaclava. You suppose it's good he still wears it around you. You'd hate for him to be too familiar with the demon attached to his immortal soul.
Your lips part, head tipping to follow the way his eyes roll while you stroke his cock. Your thumb rubs against his stomach, dragging through his coarse pubic hair, feeling the muscles jump at your touch. He hums, his hips twitching forward into your hand. You make a similar questioning noise, half teasing him. Oh he feels good under your hands. You can only imagine what he'll feel like inside of you.
"Ah," you drop your chin to your chest as Ghost drops his head, his breathing beginning to grow heavier. You quite like the way his shoulders twitch, his biceps flexing as he holds himself still over you. "I thought you were going to fuck me," you coo, grip punishing as you stroke his fat cock. He deserves it for starving you.
"What're you doing to me," Ghost's voice is just at the edge of slurring, he sounds good like this. Although you quite like when he's barking orders too. He wanted to stay still and tease you, you're perfectly happy to enforce that magically.
"Nothing you weren't doing yourself." You breathe in his desire, feeling it fill your lungs as he shakes with repressed movement. Ghost grits his teeth, he could break the spell if he really wanted. You only hold so much power over your commanding officer after all. You'd almost think he likes this.
Ghost hisses out a breath through his teeth, and fixes you with a glare. His patience apparently having worn as thin as yours. Your good humor hitches, tumbling to simmer in your stomach. Your hand stills and your lieutenant bursts into motion.
Ghost's fingers wrap around your neck, pressing you hard against the mattress as he folds you in half. "Cheeky little bitch," he growls, your hands going to grip his wrist. You gasp, feeling him slick his cock against your wet cunt. The heavy heat of his cock drags through your folds, the blunt head catching against your hole again and again. He bumps against your clit and you jerk. He's still teasing you.
You open your mouth to complain and he spits into it, grip on your neck tightening to keep you from making a sound as he pushes every inch of his girthy cock into you. You want to scream at the way he breaks you open, forces your cunt to make room for him, but you can barely gasp for air. It hurts, the burn of the stretch pooling warmth through your muscles. You try to find purchase to claw at him but you're torn between the hand keeping you from drawing a breath and the cock dragging its veins against the aching walls of your cunt.
"Tha's it, you can take it." Ghost tells you as he bottoms out, grinding his cock deep inside you. He barely gives you time to adjust to him, his hips snapping another hard thrust, another mind breaking, pussy filling stretch. The worst part is he's right. You're made for this, made for him, and you love it. Slick gushes around him, working to ease the slide of his cock into you, and you clench around the length of him. Trying to keep him inside, trying to stay full.
His balls smack against your ass as he sets a punishing pace. His cock pounding deep into you, hitting your soft spots, veins dragging against your gummy insides, pouring aggression and desperation into you. He's using you like a toy, just like he should. You're his. His demon, a tool for him to use, to become an even more deadly force. He fucks you like he hopes it kills you. The slick sound of his cock pushing into your cunt filling the room under his panting groans.
Black fuzzes the edges of your vision, eyes rolling back as he shifts the angle of his hips to hit that toe curling sweet spot. You tap his wrist, feel his grip loosen enough for you to take a breath. Your throat is raw as you gasp and cough. He barely gives you a moment to collect a breath before his cock is forcing whines from you.
"Fuck, Ghost," you moan, tipping your head back, unable to arch when he's forcing you down against the bed. You stare at the barrack wall, at the way the light casts shadows over the stone. The spring in your stomach coiling tighter, your cunt gushing more slick with each punishing thrust of Ghost's cock, coating your thighs and dripping onto the bed.
You had no doubt that Ghost deserved you, but... the shadows. The stretch of black wings across the wall, the arching horns of a broken halo, the very devil himself in human form reflected in Ghost's shadow. The angel of death.
"God," you breath in awe. Ghost grabs your face, forces you to look at him, his eyes like molten rock. The heat from them drips into your veins. Makes sweat bead on your skin.
"He's not here sweetheart," Ghost tells you, and you abandon clawing at his grip on your throat to grab his face. You pull him down to kiss him through the mask, hardly caring that it's fabric and not lips you're kissing. Ghost pulls back, his hand leaving your throat to pull the balaclava up, before he's kissing you properly. Messy. Desperate. Hungry.
He snakes a hand between you to circle his thumb over your clit and you jerk against him. Sparks shoot up your spine, your hips bucking to follow the thrust of his cock. Your legs are starting to shake, cunt clenching around him as you whimper. "Good girl," he mumbles between kisses, "pretty little slag. Let me feel you."
You gasp against his lips, shuddering at what you're sure he didn't mean as an order. It pulls you just the same. Drags you through the heat and pops the lever on your orgasm, the spring unrolling as you shake under him. Ghost fucks you through it, his pace never slowing from the mad desperation, chasing his own release. He presses his hips hard against you, stilling with a low groan, his cock buried deep inside your clenching cunt. You feel his cum fill you, hot and thick. Deep shallow thrusts pumping you full as the rush of potent magical energy from Ghost's release fills your stomach better than any physical meal could.
Ghost takes a moment, enjoying the soft warmth of your cunt before pulling out. He tries to ignore the soft look in your eye as he rolls off of you to settle back on the bed. It's easier to ignore than the-
"You purring?" He asks, feeling you stretch next to him.
"Don't worry about it," you mumble, moving to cuddle up against his chest. Ghost raises an arm to wrap around you, keeping you held close as you tug his sweats back up. Maybe this demon thing isn't so bad.
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leonenjoyer69 · 2 months
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Welcome to my big list of Will Wood songs I relate with Jekyll and Hyde/TGS!! Including what character it's associated with (ie, Jekyll, Hyde, or Lanyon lmao)
I also have art ideas for like, half of these songs so that's fun too (I'm so normal about these things)
Front Street- Hyde
Venetian Blind man- Jekyll, with big chapter 8 vibes, BUT SPECIFICALLY the line:
"Feet, don't fail me now the ways my eyes did
Mind, don't snap and heart, don't break, not now
No, not like this, any but this breakdown"
2econd 2ight 2eer- Hyde
Cotards solution- Jekyll and Hyde
6up 5oh cop-out- Hyde, but also big Chapter 14 vibes
Mr Capgras encounters a secondhand vanity- Jekyll and Hyde (and a little Lanyon, being the one to question what you feel and what you do, is that really you? And things of the like, At least in my silly mind)
BlackBoxWarrior- OKULTRA - Jekyll and Hyde
¡Aikido!-Neurotic/erotic- Jekyll and Lanyon
A little bit mine (cover this song)- Lanyon
Red Moon- Hyde
Chemical overreaction/ Compound fracture- Jekyll
Dr Sunshine is Dead- Jekyll (and a little Hyde)
The song with five names- Jekyll and Lanyon
.. And if I did, you deserved it.- Jekyll
Suburbia overture- Jekyll and Hyde
Marsha, thankk you for the dialectics- Jekyll, and I like to think some of the song is Lanyon talkin to him
Hand me my shovel, I'm going in! - Jekyll, making the potion mayhaps, or his little mind escapade where he figures out what Hyde actually is of him
Against the kitchen floor- Lanyon and Jekyll
Outliars and Hyppocrates - Hyde, talking to Jekyll
The first step- Hyde
2012- Jekyll
When somebody needs you- Lanyon and Jekyll
Misanthrapologist- Lanyon
Sex, drugs, rock 'n roll- Jekyll
Laplaces angel- Hyde
The main character- Hyde
Conclusion: the Will Wood/TGS fan relationship makes sense bc this man could NOT stop popping out songs that people can relate a repressed Victorian man with a despicable Alter ego to.
Also, while on the topic of Will Wood songs, a bonus for my fellow Picture of Dorian Gray fans:
Yes, to err is human, so don't be one is SUCH a Dorian Gray song, specifically him towards Basil, and if I could get my brain to write rn I'd totally write a fanfic of that.
ALSO I'D LOVE TO TALK ABOUT ANY OF THESE SONGS AND WHY I ASSOCIATE THEM IN MORE DETAIL FOR ANYONE THAT MAY BE WILLING TO WATCH ME STUMBLE OVER WORDS AND CONFUSINGLY TRY TO EXPLAIN WHAT I MEAN :33
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gold-rhine · 11 months
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In an ideal universe where your wish fulfillment came true... any particular characters (including npcs) you'd like Kaeya to interact with when he gets there?
by wish fulfillment i assume you mean "kaeya moves to sumeru". to proper answer, i need to explain my pet crack theory which is Kaeya and Candace are related. buckle up babes
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ok, so, we know chlothar is one of kaeya's ancestors. look at this pasty ugly dude. he did NOT produce the hottest man in the game by in-breeding with other pasty khaenriah nobles from same bloodlines. and we know it had to be same bloodline or kid gets hilichurled.
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where are kaeya's hot genetics are coming from??? the darker skin?? blue eyes, dark blue hair?? like they could've at least give him the same brown skin tone to match, but no. and genshin matches relatives OBSESSIVELY. hot genetics HAVE to come from somewhere.
sumeru is near khaenriah. deshret's civilization is connected to khaenriah in canon, we know for a fact some of the survivors became part of khaenriah. deshret's civilization was also highly advanced AND fucked with the abyss. it's all not crack, thats just stating canon facts. so like it doesn't seem to me as a stretch to guess that the khaenriah's noble bloodline originated from Deshret. like, a lot of ppl connected to the desert have rhombs in their pupils, which we know is the main visible sign of this bloodline. like, thats not precisely khaenriah diamonds, but its fucking close, ok?
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and Candace is canonically a direct descendent of Deshret himself. Brown skin - check, blue eye color - check, dark midnight blue hair - check, hotness - hell yeah check.
if you catch my drift, i think khaenriah's main noble bloodline, the one that is not hilichurled, hailed from deshret. their only choice to get a normal, non-cursed kid was to find the descendants of the same bloodline who did not leave desert for khaenriah and so were not cursed, and it's Candace's family. booom babyy
so in ideal world, Candace and Kaeya realize they're distant cousins bc she's like Alberich? My aunt married some shady dude named Alberich, was that your dad? like all kaeya always wanted was to belong, and here he finally will have family that is not trying to use him OR repressed anger issue catholics. and nahida let even scara to redeem after he tried to murder her. kaeya could finally come clean and just live as himself.
and he would be so needed too, like the desert ppl are in turmoil process of integrating with sumeru, criminals are overrunning aaru village. and who keeps treasure hoarders in mond in check with nothing but three dumb sergeants and a smile? kaeya would sort that shit out in a month. seriously, i had to go to liyue to farm treasure hoarders, there are no roaming mobs of them in mond. kaeya would also be the best liason to akademiya, growing up with nobility and being used to political games as mond's spymaster.
after this premise, there is literally not a single character in sumeru it would not be fun to see kaeya interacting with. he and dehya are immediately besties, they met on a shopping trip where candace was helping him choose his new skin outfit, and this same evening drunk dehya is princess carrying him out of tavern. he can amplify cyno's horrible puns into a weapon of mass destruction and tighnari can't even hate him, bc he also made ppl stop eating poisonous mushrooms by spreading rumors that if you eat too much of them, their spores will grow inside of and mindcontrol you. its absolute bullshit, but it worked, goddamit. kaeya could solve kaveh and alhaitham's communication problems in one evening at a bar, but he wouldn't, bc he's a little shit and he thinks its entertaining to watch and he's curious how long its gonna take them by themselves, but he would give them trollish little nudges. also, in nilou's tropue he would finally have a proper bohemian scene to exercise his flair for dramatics and inspire several epic poems by being a heartbreaker.
tldr little desert village has neither rich nobility nor grand destiny he's supposed to fulfill, but it has ppl who will accept and appreciate him, and i think realizing that he doesn't have to choose between a coinflip of bad and awful and learning to live for himself instead is one of kaeya's arcs best possible resolutions
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tokimaeki · 6 months
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Making a post about Sasha and Milla's respective traumas and how they handle them, bc I'm obsessed with the way they foil one another. Read below for my takes:
SO. In Sasha's Shooting Gallery, Sasha's mindscape is a big, mechanical cube. It's sleek. It's clean. It's perfectly controlled, just like Sasha himself.
Then Raz starts messing with the lever, and things start going wrong very quickly. It only takes one mistake for Sasha's childhood traumas to come bursting out of the cube in a way that is far less organized than his mindscape would like to have you think. What's more, these childhood traumas aren't exactly well-organized. Each side is haphazardly cluttered, as if the memories were just shoved inside the cube with no thought given how well they'd fit.
It's sort of like how, when cleaning my room as a kid, I'd just shove all my stuff into the closet and shut the door before it could all tumble out. Sure, the room looks great now-- but once I mess up and accidentally open that door, it's going to take a lot of work to get things back to normal.
And the same thing happens in Sasha's mind. Once one repressed trauma bursts out, it doesn't take long for another to follow suit. And another. And another. Raz can't stop them from coming out, and by the time he's managed to deal with one side of the cube, another one has already popped open. And of course, this all culminates in a giant Censor coming out to promptly beat the tar out of Sasha. It takes a lot of time, effort, and pain to get Sasha's mind back in order.
Meanwhile, Milla's mind is, for the entirety of her stage, perfectly stable-- despite her tragic backstory of her orphanage burning down in a fire, the psychic screams of the children in her care echoing in her mind. Why is that? Well, it's because Milla's traumatic memories and other painful emotions are safely sequestered off the beaten path, in that little locked room of fire and brimstone.
At first, I thought this was another case of a character dealing with their trauma in an unhealthy way. I mean, she's literally locking away her negative thoughts! That can't possibly be healthy, right?
But then it hit me. While Milla has put her thoughts in a part of her mind that's difficult to access, they're not really 'locked away.' in fact, you can access them pretty easily, as long as you know what you're doing and what steps you have to take. And once you do get there, the nightmares can't hurt you. They're scary to confront, sure. It's heartbreaking and distressing to hear the children's screams for help. But nothing in that room physically harms you.
And that's the beauty of Milla's mind. Similarly to Sasha, she successfully copes with her trauma by compartmentalizing it, putting it in a spot where it can't hurt herself or others. But unlike Sasha, Milla's pain is accessible. It's easily reachable, but near impossible to stumble into accidentally. And most importantly, it isn't going to come bursting out and causing mayhem if you make a mistake somewhere.
I love the way these two's minds foil one another. It's such a good example of unhealthy repression VS healthy compartmentalization.
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p4nishers · 1 month
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vimes realizing he's in love with vetinari. now that. hmm. listen. how long it took for him to ACTUALLY fall in love with sybil? oh he liked her, he loved her SO much, but he wasn't IN love with her till jingo. he just thought he was in love. (that doesn't mean he loved her any less or that their love is any less, it means he didn't know her, didn't really have the time for her till he made it so. till he wanted it. really, truly wanted it.) but what would it take for vimes to realizes he's in love with vetinari? well, to be honest with you, not one damn fucking thing. like vetinari's is quite literally the thing he's the MOST stubborn about. he only starts to begrudgingly like him in fucking THUD! that's the SEVENTH book in the watch series. like my man is NOT here to play about his feelings (or, what he'd like to think, the lack thereof) for vetinari. so, what would it TAKE??
another attempt on vetinari's life? this time a SERIOUS one? or vetinari ACTIVELY saving someone sam loves? like young sam? would that. would that ever happen and how would vimes feel about it?? or would it be bc of some kind of jealousy?? or or or OR WHAT
like this is driving me insane i cant fucking figure it out bc there's no universe for me where sam vimes isn't freakishly in love with his boss but how the actual FUCK does that happen and how do i get it thru his thick skull that it's happening??? HOW
what if they like go on ambassador shit together like idk to lancre (bc this is me we're talking abt what did u expect of COURSE imma bring the old women into this) (listen. yes vetinari wouldn't ever go bc why tf would he that's why he has fucking ambassadors and VIMES but. just give me this one thing please and thank you) and sybil outright refuses to go bc sam i have Things to Take Care Of and and you can jolly well run along and do your job and and and. right. yup. go on (she wants them to spent time together for fuck's sake what will it TAKE for them to stop this bloody silly dance already she is so so so tired of toxic yaoi. give her a break) and so they go and sam is perpetually angry bc his Emotional Support Wife basically kicked him out of the house and now he has to endure this bloody fucking trip with his boss who he has Feelings that he would rather not think about and vetinari keeps bloody smiling and being bloody cheerful and bloody handsome in the sunlight and– nope. Not Gonna Go There.
so anyway they arrive whatever it's fine but obviously there was some misunderstanding some (willful) spelling error on vetinari's part and turns out everyone thinks the patriarch and his HUSBAND came to the princess's wedding which is. fine. totally and utterly fine. everyone is suupper normal about it. especially since esme is marrying A Girl. wild, right? so you can imagine how vimes is feeling. how many walls has he punched? who knows we can never know (none bc vetinari Raised His Eyebrows and he had to settle for kicking a few trees and almost rolling down the mountain. Gracefully, of course).
obviously there's the There Was Only One Bed trope. obviously there's victorian woman having gay thoughts for the first time yearning (repressed). of course there's the beast (repressed. for now). of course there's a moonlight conversation which inevitably leads to the Slight Softening of Sam Vimes's Heart and the next day which turns out to be Sam Vimes's Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. it's the evening before the wedding. a party. with nobs. and idiotic clothes and vetinari and stares and nosy witches and vetinari and awkward conversations and vetinari and vetinari asking (ordering) him to dance and oh shit oh fuck oh what the bloody shit is this why is the bastard SO GOOD+??!!??! does he practice has he practiced will he practice and want a partner– no. no. No. NOO not happening vimes is perfectly sane and Will Not Fucking GO THERE!!!
anyway of course shit happens. of course it ends with vimes and vetinari trudging thru the forest, drenched in rain and mud and fuck knows what else and both of them have fuck all idea about mountains and vimes is fucking Pissed bc his lordship shouldn't be here i dont need his lordship here this is bloody fucking daft. sir. and he gets nothing but that infuriating fucking smile in return and a "ah, but your grace, i am simply enjoying a brisk walk. i wasn't aware that was crime" and he's fucking COVERED in mud and his clothes are sticking to him and vimes had never actually seen him WET before and there's mud on his CHEEK and his hair is mussed and. vimes walks into a tree. gets tangled up in a few tree branches, perhaps. trips and falls flat on his ass, even. vetinari laughs at him in that way of his where he's not laughing but you can tell, deep down, he IS. and vimes is still pissed. and suddenly vetinari is helping him up and looking at him from up close with that expression of his that suggests he has inside jokes with himself and he. kisses him.
what the FUCK, right? well. surprise element and all that. vimes' first instinct obviously is to fucking fight him. then he's like. oh wait oh what the fuck. THEN he's like. vetinari is actually a good kisser and im gonna fucking faint. Actually. then vetinari pulls away and goes on business as usual like not a thing happened. if vimes wasn't so fucking dazed and tingling throughout his whole body he'd bash his skull in but well. he just stumbles after him and tries to not have a heart attack.
unfortunately he doesn't have time to think about it bc fucking CENTAURS attack them. yeah. it's not a pretty fight. by the time they get back to the castle vimes is angry and tired and his whole body feels like a bruise and he's STILL fucking thinking about that kiss but he's so tired he actively cannot fucking speak so instead of punching vetinari's perfect fucking face like he planned to he falls headfirst into their bed and goes the fuck to sleep. of course when he wakes up the bed is empty next to him and he remembers last nights events and he just looks and looks and looks at vetinari's side of the bed and has this horrible sick feeling like Uh Oh. i would do anything to see how he looks like asleep. how he looks like minutes after he wakes up. the weight of his body. vimes has the weird thought that he's actually JEALOUS of a fucking bed for feeling vetinari's weight and has to go walk around the castle 5 times. while in his drawers. it's...he could've been more diplomatic about it, is all.
so he spends the whole day in this out of body shock and avoids the fuck out of vetinari and instead goes to do literally anything he can. he talks to shawn. he talks to hodgesargh. he talks to the princess about love and freaks the absolute fuck out. he tears out every root in the entire back garden in a burst of mania. he walks up and down the mountains. he eventually ends up talking to nanny and she implements her bottomless wisdom on him ('fine lad you got there, your graciousness, wanna share 'im? oh, come on i'm just having laugh no need to be like that. you wanna lock it down, if you ask me, that whole fruit basket is RIPE wink wink') which makes him reevaluate his entire life and walk up and down more fucking mountains.
this leads him. nowhere. he hasn't figured out SHIT. he doesn't even know WHAT he's supposed to be figuring out but it sure as shit something and he has this insistent urge to see vetinari but also he WILL punch a wall if he sees him with his entire Unaffected Self so he goes and roams the halls of the castle and he's going room from room searching for something he doesn't even know about until he comes across quiet voices talking and he looks inside and it's bloody fucking vetinari comforting esme's fiancee, nina, and he just. watches. he never knew vetinari could be so gentle. and it's bc he doesn't have to pretend with nina. she doesn't know who he is just that he saw her struggling with some sewing and he helped and they got to talking and she opened up about her fears for being a queen someday and he was just SO kind. and as sam watches this he quietly, quietly realizes that he's in love. and it doesn't hurt him, not like he thought it would. maybe it will, eventually, but this, seeing vetinari like this, doesn't hurt. it can't.
he walks away before he can be seen (though, no doubt, vetinari already sensed him) and just. goes and has a cigarette and tries very hard not to make a big deal out of it. but it is a big deal. and he cant tell anyone.
so its the night of the wedding, ceremony blah blah blah its all a blur until vetinari intertwines their fingers as they walk down the aisle as guests of honor and vimes' whole world narrows down to that one point of contact until vetinari drops it again as they sit down and blah blah blah its the reception the brides are flushed and dancing and happy and happy and vimes is watching them and thinking of his own wedding and also vetinari vetinari vetinari and then of course vetinari stands next to him and he's more scared than he's ever been in his life and vetinari takes his hand again and it is So Over for vimes. they fucking hold hands while saying nothing and it kills vimes but also it's the most alive he's ever felt and maybe there wont ever be more than this but if he has this he'll be fine. and he is. and they are. the end.
so what i'm saying with this is. maybe vimes just needs a few quiet moments where he can see glimpses of vetinari he hadn't let himself see before and also he needs to be hit over the head with feelings otherwise it wont work. vetinari NEEDS to make the first move bc our dear duke will never. ever ever. he doesn't even let himself THINK he wants it he won't do it unless vetinari Plagues him with the Images.
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teopatra · 8 months
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💙 Happy Blue Moon🌕 💙
💙🌕💙🌕💙💙💙🌕🌕🌕🌕💙💙💙🌕💙🌕💙
Posts like these you don’t sea 👁️ often .. maybe once every blue moon 🧿👄🧿
🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️🪩♓️
Todays pick a pile messages are songs since Pisces energy and full moons are likened to mermaids whom are know for being sirens 🚨 🧜🏽‍♀️ 🧜‍♂️
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Message 1:
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During the full moon transit you’ll feel like there is a stillness in their air. Kind of like when the ocean gets eerily calm before a storm. A peaceful terror. You could feel the urge to be by yourself more or hermit in your own energy; it will befit you to turn off your devices and just listen to the sounds around you and your mind. The best thing you can utilize your phone for right now is noting your synchronicities and your feelings. If you notice people being distant don’t take it personally, but pay attention to how that makes you feel and the conversations people have with you especially your tone. Others you know are facing introspection and are delving into the deepest parts of their psyche. The intensity of repressed emotions may be too much for most to handle. I noticed my social media page engagements are lower than normal today, it reminds me of a ghost town with nothing but tumble weeds lol that’s the energy of this Pisces full moon. Work with quartz crystals, protect your immune system and indulge in a warm bath, shower, or foot soak since Pisces rules the feet.
Message 2:
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At this time you will experience MORE lucid dreams. Pay attention to the people in your dreams and what these particular people may say to you in your dreams. It’s one thing to be lucid in the dream state but it’s another to wake up with dream amnesia. Why is that? Bc something in your waking life is not aligned with your higher self meaning you could indulging in bad habits like not getting enough rest and over saturating your third eye with too much media. You’re prob a creative person or a water sign so you should be clearing your mind. Create something that is visually stimulating for you to aid in your create process and ease/unload the mind; mercury rx is cashing a lot of mental tension rn. A salt bath, a foot soak with pink Himalayan salt or you may need to gargle with salt water to unblock throat chakra blockages. Try sleeping next to grounding crystals and dream enhancing crystals like blue apatite. Also don’t sleep directly next to your phone, turn TV’s, mirrors, phones, tablets, and other types of black mirrors away from your bed if you can. If not try covering them with a towel or something light. Work on protecting your aura and strengthening your auric field
Message 3:
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Worrying about an ex at this time is unhealthy for you. As much as you may think this person will change it’s not up to you to focus on them, pour into yourself wholeheartedly and you’ll see where your shadow work needs to be done and why you feel the need to give to someone who probably doesn’t have your best interest at this time. I see a lot of people from your past being nostalgic over you, but that is none of your concern anymore. Turn from the past and be open to all possibilities ( this is the mantra for piscerian energy). Your destiny is waiting for you, but you are holding on to your karmic energy. The moon has met up with Saturn as he’s been transiting Pisces since the beginning of the year, so challenge yourself to let go of the things that aren’t serving you and you know what they are. Also everyone seems to be on edge so it’s best to just be quiet stay out the way and mind your business until mercury retrograde blows over. If you’ve been overindulging in tarot stop, OR you may notice that tarot isn’t resonating with you lately like it used to. Try intuitive games to improve your own cartomancy or tarot skills if you’re into that
Message 4:
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I see you have done a lot of shadow work over the years and it has caused you to feel a bit isolated at times and that’s because others have not done ENOUGH self development therefore you are not resonating with most people. You are supposed to soar and it may feel lonely at the top but know that you are an example of Christ consciousness to those around you. you are a beacon of light that illuminates a path behind you. You are not a flash light searching for dark spots. Reward yourself for how far you’ve come and don’t stop because this is how you will romanize your life turning fantasies into reality. The full moon wants you to relax and to plan ahead so you can have a more fulfilled day. Pisces is a mutable sign meaning ever changing , therefore this energy can be a bit sporadic. Which isn’t always bad, BUT I see time can easily evade you if your daily intentions aren’t set properly. You’ll see what I mean if you haven’t already. I see you thinking back on this post weeks later like ohhhh now I get it. 🤭 also eat some more vegetables, try making more home cooked meals bc it’ll be therapeutic .
Message 5:
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Please be mindful that with most people in their late 20’s experiencing their Saturn returns with the moon currently in the same sign as Saturn may force you to observe people change for the better or for worse. It all depends on one’s karma and the work they’ve chosen to do or lack thereof. With the sun being n Virgo and Virgo being the sign of the hermit, the change of season will cause you and others to recluse and maybe even become lethargic. For example during this time of year most people go back to school, and as the older generation phases out and retires, the old “students” are the new teachers. I see a lot of millennials changing the dynamics of school systems compared to how we experienced it growing up. You are the future, help your inner child and inner teenager even if you’re an adult by connecting with those younger than you. If YOU are a teenager pay attention to those in their mid to late twenties. A lot of times we think our lives are going to go certain ways and end up something completely diff. Just know that if you’re aspiring to do something that may not need a traditional education don’t waste your money going to school for something you don’t even really wanna do or you’re doing it for just the money or to satisfy family. Find the moon tonight and do some moon gazing , stare at her and let your mind wonder off; your higher self will handle the rest.
Message 6:
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People want to know what you’re up to 👀 I see you have a magnetic energy like the moon. People stare at you like they do the moon, for some reason I see you’re a walking personification of a mirrored portal. You are a conduit of the higher dimensions, you see a person but they see you as a hypnotic metronome. Just like the effect the full moon has on mythological creatures like mermaids and werewolves, I’m seeing you know you had some time of power of psychic gift but you’ll begin to resonate with being other worldly as your gifts play out in front of you. Pisces energy is about illusions and for some reason you create an optical illusion that doesn’t play tricks on peoples eyes but their minds 😵‍💫 THIS message will only resonate with a small few but please comment if you experience any weird nuisances. With great power comes great responsibilities, be careful not to put people in trances at the wrong time, don’t stare at people back if they stare at you but if it’s a lover stare and you’ll both take an astral trip. Please move in silence at this time and work on grounding. Going into hermit mode will benefit you and please don’t get distracted by lust bc I see that being the side effect of this heightened power rn like a hungry vampire. Also stop trying to be captain sage a h*e and realize how earthly you’ve been, lighten your aura in weight.
🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌖🌗🌘🌜
🩻This is your time to illuminate the truth deep within you bc you already hold the answers you seek.. there’s no research to be done at this time because you have spent the time and effort. Now you are reaping the rewards
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oatbrew · 7 months
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ok ok ok i just got home and as always here are my thoughts
really enjoyed colin lemoine's take. in terms of just pure vibes hes a step closer to damon daunno than reeve carney. he's not as boyish comic relief as nicholas barasch and he feels like the most.... grounded?? orpheus i've seen. he acts out the "touched" aspect without flanderizing orpheus into just his naivete and rendering him foolish and infantilized. the best way i can describe it is that he just seems like an optimistic but ultimately ordinary guy you could meet at a grocery store line who also happens to be plagued w Unfortunately Blessed with Musical Visions by the Gods Against His Will Syndrome
amaya braganza!!!!! jesus what a vocal powerhouse. her flowers killed me. something about her vocal inflection or acting choices really made her grief over losing her life and her love so visceral. she would be right at home at the obc recording because her voice was pitch perfect. she has a terrific belt but it's during the quiet moments where she's the most effective. like at the end of all i've ever known you can really feel she's already mourning her loss before she's even lost anything which is why flowers was more heartbreaking than normal
will mann is the most intriguing part of this cast to me. hermes actors have the choice of landing on the spectrum of objective narrator to a guardian figure. will feels like the most paternal. you get the sense that not only did he observe orpheus grow up he also had an active hand in raising him. when orpheus nervously stops during epic iii will says "go on, baby" with "baby" obviously ad-libbed 😭 like yes that is his baby
my only real critique of this performance is that the show doesn't actually pick up until way down hadestown. not sure if the cast just wasn't feeling the crowd or themselves until that point (it was a sunday night so i get it). i just make note of this bc livin it up on top is this high energy number that felt strangely middle energy for some reason lol anyone who was experiencing the show for the first time and had no frame of reference wouldn't notice anything amiss but bc im abnormal and pedantic i definitely noticed
and this is by no means a critique of lana gordon's persephone whose lady of the underground is one of the top highlights of the show. she brought the roof down during "there's a crack in the wall".
which brings me to my favorite part of the show: matthew patrick quinn. i didn't think anyone could replace patrick page in my heart but i was just in love with everything matthew brought to this character. he manages to combine facets of patrick and kevyn morrow's hades that i love together. matthew has kevyn's slick charisma and anger but he has patrick's power and world-weariness. he's this incredibly tall, serpentine, and long limbed figure that towers over everyone. patrick as an intimidating and antagonistic force felt like an ancient old god who can break your house by inducing an earthquake but matthew's vibe is more like he could literally be the snake that could tempt you out of a garden of eternal paradise
he and lana are also 🔥🔥🔥 like you can simultaneously feel the millenia of history between them but they also have the chemistry of two hot people going on a date for the first time after a long period of slowburn. the resentment, the familiarity, he way he's obviously repressing his desperation to keep her and both trying to look unaffected and turning to their vices when they reject each other's touch i could absolutely scream
which is why i was sobbing by the end of epic iii. i think the catharsis was just a lot lol and they were so playful during their dance too! like actual lovers who have the most absolute fun during good times. matthew does this little wiggle for her when they're sidestepping and im 100% sure lana broke character and they both started laughing it was so sweet
anyway the fates, the ensemble, everyone was astounding and im gonna see if i can grab another cheap balcony seat before they leave in a week to see if i can catch j antonio rodriguez as orpheus
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Note
For the Isolation Au( The Au where the brothers are separated upon being brought into the Lin Kuei)
* Kuai Liang is much more ahhh brutal to put in midly then he already is in normal canon. He’s feral in a way that mixes Lin Kuei teachings and not having Bi-Han to ground him. (Et: ripped a man’s throat out with his teeth)
* Instead of a high pain tolerance, he straight up doesn’t feel pain, his teachers aren’t sure how or why this happened, likely that his apathy is so severe he doesn’t care about anything
* Tomas is his only concern at all, being the only person he has grown attached to in the Lin Kuei, and is the only person keeping him from truly going insane, goes out of his way to even take punishments for Tomas and take hits on missions that he would normally make his mission partners fend for themselves( or even just kill them himself because he could care less about them)
* Any time a repressed memory came up, he always told Tomas, as Kuai Liang was confused about this strange memory with somehwhat familiar people. Someone overheard and told his teacher, and it was beat out if him and gaslit to the point he thought he made it up to give himself some happiness.
* He and Tomas escaped the Lin Kuei after rumors of the cyber initiative begin to circulate, not wanting his friend and himself to be trapped by the Lin Kuei forever, Tomas managed to convince Kuai Liang it was worth it to flee
* Bi-Han has a secret journal that he keeps under his bed/cot detailing any memories he has. Even if there vague flashes of memories he wants to detail them because he doesn’t want the Lin Kuei to take one of the few things he has left of his past, especially the necklace and bracelet he carries.
* When Sektor was younger, he mocked a couple times to Bi-Han about how he couldn’t remember his past, causing Bi-Han to snap and get into a fight with Sektor and beating him badly. Sektor never did it again
* Bi-Han has a somehwat friend in Cyrax, their not overly close but Cyrax is the one that keeps Sektor in line enough for the both of them.
* Kuai Liang doesn’t remember his name, he has always been called Tundra by others and it has become the only name he has known.
* Noob preformed strangely human gestures when handling the necklace and bracelet attached to his sickle, he kept them cleaned and seemed to tense and sometimes sag in defeat when he found a crack in a bead. As if it was a personal attack to himself
* Their reunion was bittersweet, Bi-Han had broken down crying upom seeing his brother again, however Tundra didn’t understand why the man was holding him and calling him “Kuai Liang” as if they knew each other.
oh I've missed talking about this au (yes I know it's only been a few days, but still)
Kuai Liang, due to having so few attachments, is genuinely just unhinged. Like he doesn't fight on Earthrealm's side bc he thinks it's right but bc Tomas asked him to.
This leads to Kuai Liang and Hanzo having a much rockier relationship to start with, and they do nearly kill each other very often. It only stops when Hanzo overhears Tomas talking to Kuai Liang after the cryomancer has had a nightmare, trying to convince him that his memories from before are real.
None of the defenders realize that he can't feel pain until he accidentally spills boiling water on himself and doesn't react at all, only tending to it bc Tomas makes him
Even though he has a hard time caring about people, with those he likes such as Tomas and eventually Hanzo, he will do anything for them, to the point that it's almost a little worrying. In his relationships he treats himself as little more than a weapon to be wielded which Tomas has given up trying to teach him otherwise.
Hanzo straight up refuses to let Kuai Liang do anything for him, insisting on pampering the cryomancer instead (once they start getting along) which confuses Kuai Liang to the point that they have a shouting match about it
Tomas memorized every detail of what Kuai Liang told him of his memories, hoping that once they got out he'd be able to help Kuai Liang remember.
If Tomas hadn't asked him to leave, Kuai Liang would have willingly let himself get cyberized bc he just did not care anymore
Kuai Liang eventually finds Bi-Han's journal once he reclaims the Lin Kuei temple and has a breakdown upon reading it's contents, unable to accept the possibility that his repressed memories were real
Both Kuai Liang and Bi-Han have nearly killed Sektor at various points
Cyrax does not know that Kuai Liang and Bi-Han are siblings, but he suspects and was about to tell Bi-Han before he was cyberized
sometimes Kuai Liang has dreams where a woman is calling him by his name, but it's too muffled to make out bc he doesn't remember what his name is. He always trains extra hard after those dreams, trying to shake them off.
As Noob, Bi-Han would brutally murder anyone who tried to damage the necklace or bracelet, to the point that not even the bravest demons would dare to attempt it
Upon their reunion, Kuai Liang actually shoved Bi-Han away and attacked, and Bi-Han made no attempt to defend himself. Hanzo was the only reason he stopped.
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